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sweetlullabyebye · 8 months

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gotham incorrect quotes (includes gobblepot) mainly made using scatterpatter

Oswald: *watching Jim sleep*

Oswald: look at him. I love him. He's my everyth-

Jim: *snores*

Oswald: I can't live like that.

Jim: i lost the job.

Harvey, sighing: what did you do this time?

Jim: Loeb pointed a pencil at me and said 'there's an idiot at the end of this pencil'

Jim: so I asked which end.

Harvey: treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Jim: killed without hesitation.

Harvey: no.

Jim, raising his fists: fight me

Oswald, standing behind Jim, softly shaking his head: *mouths* do not

Barbara: who's the scariest person you've ever encountered?

Oswald: Jim.

Oswald: it's terrifying how dumb he is.

Oswald: compliment me

Jim: you have eyes

Oswald: nice

Jim: in my defense, i was left unsupervised

Barnes: wasn't Harvey with you?

Harvey: in my defense, i was also left unsupervised

Jim: i beg your pardon?

Oswald: then beg.

Jim: *gets down on one knee*

Oswald: oh my god it's finally happening

Jim: *falls over*

Oswald: the poison is kicking in

Oswald: look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Jim a little bit

Victor, holding Oswald's notepad: you doodled your wedding invitation.

Oswald: no, that's our joint tombstone.

Victor: my mistake.

Harvey, waking up after getting knocked out: where are we?

Jim: in trouble.

Jim: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Oswald: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Harvey: Smad.

Harvey: I trust Jim.

Barnes: You think he knows what he's doing?

Harvey: I wouldn't go that far.

Jim: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Harvey: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Jim: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Harvey: Good thinking.

(Part 2)

#gotham #gotham incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #probably has been done a hundred times but who's counting #gobblepot #oswald cobblepot #jim gordon #harvey bullock #nathaniel barnes #barbara kean #victor zsasz

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it-happened-once-in-a-meme · 2 months

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Gotham Pick-Up Lines (Valentine Cards for Jim, Edward, Nathaniel Barnes & uhm IsabellA) 💌😂

Edit: I totally forgot to put Isabella into this at first 😆

This is canon, right?

Not that that's hard.

He deserves it 😁

A little more suggestive content (only written) under the cut:

Harvey's mentally and physically facepalming at that 😆😂

"Don't waste your good looks on overtime, Jimbo."

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milesof-artimedes · 5 months

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Thankyou @imthekingofgotham for inspiring me to generate my own incorrect gotham quotes

(This is that one scene in s3)

#dcu #gotham series #gotham #batman #jim gordon #barbara kean #tabitha galavan #jerome valeska #edward nygma #jervis tetch #nathaniel barnes #ivy pepper #selina kyle #bruce wayne #oswald cobblepot #kristen kringle #johnathan crane

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mysecretwindowuniverse · 3 months

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2x4 | Strike Force

[Casually throws chair to announce arrival at new workplace]

Pretty sure this is just how Michael Chiklis addresses every set he goes on, even when he's not a part of the cast

#Gotham #season 2 #jim gordon #harvey bullock #nathaniel barnes #michael chiklis is a sentient human thumb that yells and we love that for him #not done with gifs from season 1 #not by a long shot #but I'm now in season 2 and this entrance needed to be memorialized in all its glory #Gotham Humor™#funny #gotham rewatch gif extravaganza #mine

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sunlitroom · 2 years

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Things every character in Gotham has said at some point, #2

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multifandomnonsense · 2 years

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Gotham memes I made while binging so I finish before it leaves Netflix part 1:

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fanfic-the-wish-your-heart-makes · 3 months

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Nathaniel Barnes (& Harvey Bullock & Jim Gordon) Defending Homosexuality (Nathaniel Barnes x Male/Nonbinary/Not Cis etc. Reader, but this also has other cool stuff apart from romance like, uhm, him🤭😂)

@honestmrdual asked: So, about Barnes x reader request... How about Barnes and male reader, who insist on making their relationship known to public, at least in the precinct, and Barnes, pretty obviously, being opposed to this idea? Humour, or angst, or both, you can decide! :)

Author's note: Here are all of my thoughts, I hope you like them😊 This is soo much longer than expected

Reader: ambiguously not perceived as a woman (so a man, nonbinary, masculine/very androgynous woman, etc.)

Other featured characters: Harvey Bullock because he's gotta be against homophobia. Also a little mention of Jim & Oswald because they had something going there 😉

Warning: homophobia (not from the love-interest though 🙂), illegal homosexuality

First of all: whether homosexuality's illegal in Gotham or not, Nathaniel Barnes doesn't think of it as a sin. He may be a lawfully good character, thinking that the only line separating him from animals is the law, but he's not stupid: a healthy consensual relationship just isn't immoral, illegal or not. There's not the least bit internalized homophobia in him, and I can imagine that even if homosexuality was illegal, it would mostly go ignored by the police. Though it would be comically tragic for someone to get thrown into a cell next to an actual criminal. One's in for murder while the other just kissed their partner?? Gotham's crazy!

If it was illegal, Barnes would do anything in his power to make sure to help the wrongfully convicted. He starts out small by letting them go free on his own, going home in the evening to assure himself that you're still there in his arms, not in some cell. He knows he's already doing so much but what if it isn't enough?

He loves what you share and is very aware of how quickly things could go wrong, so when you ask him to make your relationship public, he's vehemently against it and very confused. "Did someone hit on you? Do you want to tell them that you're in a relationship? Because you have my full support to make up a partner if you want to."

When you tell him that that isn't the case, he assumes that it's something else. "Are you jealous? You know that I love you. I don't think that anyone at the GCPD wants to be with me." He leans towards you and lowers his voice, "But between us: I wouldn't want to be with any of them even if I didn't have you." He even tries to throw shade at his co-workers despite normally being very professional, "Some can be a little..." You smile at his obvious contrition, "Stupid?" you offer. He purses his lips and makes a vague hand gesture, which makes you laugh. He's really trying not to be mean.

Despite the now light-hearted atmosphere, you bring the conversation back to your request, and he gets serious again. The idea might sound naively dangerous to him but you obviously care about it, so he doesn't dismiss it right away. He wants to know whether there's a smaller problem that he can solve. Do you doubt his love for you? Are you afraid of someone taking him away from you?

If any of these is the case, he makes it one of his missions to prove you wrong. Not that he doesn't make you feel loved any other time. He's very thankful for you. But if it's not enough for you, then it's not enough. Feelings are valid...and so is your safety: he doesn't give in.

"Even just the fact that I'm a known police officer could put you in danger", he stresses, "And I can only think in horror of the hatred that would certainly be directed at us for other reasons."

Things continue as they were, until one day when he overhears some officers make fun of Jim Gordon for being called Penguin's bitch - with lots off ugly terms thrown at Jim - none other than Harvey Bullock, the man Nathaniel would have expected at least some homophobia from, defends his partner and gives them hell for the things they said.

"You got a problem with Jim banging a known criminal? That's fine with me, hell, I'd have a problem with it too if it was true! But you target my buddy because he's with a man? Seriously? Your girlfriend doesn't even know you've been looking at someone else, but you're criticising him for being in a consensual relationship, which, again, isn't even real?! Check your morals, man!"

"Okaay, Bullock, chill, I was just joking around. Besides: it's illegal, you know that, right?"

Harvey raises his eyebrows, "Well it shouldn't be." "Careful there, Bullock. Don't want to get thrown out by the captain, do we?" Harvey huffed, "I think he's got a little more common sense than you think." "You don't seem completely convinced." "Ugh, stop it. Get yourself a life. Maybe I'll ask him sometime."

Except that he doesn't. He has neither the time nor the nerves.

Nathaniel tells you the story, promising to work on it, just way slower than you wished. He waits until he heard the next hateful comment so that he could directly intervene, making his already planned speech later seem more natural.

So it comes that he spends more time outside of his office until one day when he heard Jim again, "Doesn't seem like Oswald if you ask me" followed by "Except that I didn't ask you, you fag-" "LANGUAGE", the commissioner's word gets everyone's attention, "like this is highly inappropriate here, any place really. You are police officers, show some goddamn respect!"

"But he's literally called his bitch in the streets-"

"Are we not in a police precinct?"

"Of course we are, sir, but it's also illegal to-"

"And do you not have a brain, detective?" "Sir, I wasn't trying to say that detective Gordon is seriously a f-"

"You're missing the point: hate speech of any kind isn't tolerated here."

"Got it-"

"-nor should you use it at home." He noticed the silence around him. "Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

Wow, that felt good to get off his chest! He still needs to make that speech, which would normally be really easy but he doesn't want to make your relationship public or out himself to be honest. He wants to appear completely distanced from the topic, non-emotional, just rational.

When he asks what your ideas are, he's frustrated that something feeling so right, so wonderful, has to be justified at all. He's nervous about the speech: normally he only stands behind the law, and now he's speaking out against it? He's conflicted.

"Why don't you let someone else speak as well?" you try, knowing that he can take on too much work.

"What?" he asks, not wanting to put that burden onto someone else. You shrug, "Let Gordon say some things, he's the one you always complain about being one step away from being a criminal. And you say that he's got people who look up to him."

"No", he protests, "it has to come from someone who has never misstepped."

You give him an unconvinced look, "You have misstepped."

He takes in a sharp breath at the memory. "You killed a man and I still trust and love you, Nathaniel." He looks a little less sceptic now.

"That speech can come from any cop and it will come from someone who at least once committed a crime. I'm not saying that you should let someone else say everything, just that you might wanna talk about it with some other detectives first. Make it appear natural."

The perfect opportunity would come: the time when the crime incidents skyrocket and the precinct has to clean rooms to make way for prisoners.

"Alright everyone, listen up! We've obviously got too little room for perps, so we're gonna have to prioritize."

He takes a deep breath and thinks back to your impressed look at his practiced speech, "From now on, there are a few deeds we will no longer persecute. Not just because of the current lack of space but because they shouldn't be crimes."

He looks at the officers, most of whom don't look extremely bothered, and starts the list, "Anyone here on grounds of consensual relationships to someone of the same sex is to be set free without any entries."

By the end of the list of other "crimes", a few people are looking at him confused, some even angry but not many more than he expected. One officer raises his voice, "So what about that black-haired guy we got in for kissing another man?"

"He's in for sexual harassment!" Jim Gordon comes to his aid spontaneously. "He'll stay", Nathaniel continues, noting that a few people's sour expressions disappear.

"Finally for those of you still unconvinced, who don't have the brains to think by themseleves: before you arrest someone for any of the things mentioned before, ask yourself: would I rather harm one person or save many? A lot is on the line, we've gotten more bombings in four months than in the last year combined. So be smart."

"I'll drink to that!" Harvey shouts and the resulting laughter lightens the mood. That that day more people visit the GCPD captain's office or pass by and say their approval.

It's the beginning of a new time for the precinct and hopefully eventually for Gotham.

However, that still doesn't mean that he likes the idea of criminals knowing that you mean so much to him.

He'll tell some colleagues about you though. They deserve to know what a wonderful partner one can have as a police officer.

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super-hero-confessions · 9 months

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#confession #nathaniel barnes

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tyler-is-hot · 2 years

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just saw someone ship jervis and captain barnes…..why. just why?

#jervis tetch #mad hatter #nathaniel barnes #gotham #gotham fox #absolutely horrid ship

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honestmrdual · 7 months

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#if i could inject this scene into my bloodstream i would without hesistation #gotham #jervis tetch #nathaniel barnes #vlad.text #vlad.meme

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sweetlullabyebye · 8 months

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gotham incorrect quotes + gobblepot (pt. 5) (this is starting to be a lot of parts) (based on scatterpatter's incorrect quotes generator)

Jim: So what’s for dinner?

Oswald, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

Bruce: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Selina: What's that?

Bruce: Remorse code.

Selina: I'm even angrier now.

Jim: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Oswald:

Oswald: Jim, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Jim: *Sips coffee from bowl*

Oswald, talking to Jim on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Jim: You bet!

Oswald: At what temperature?

Jim: 535.

Oswald: That's the clock.

Jim:

Oswald:

Jim: 536.

Jim: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Oswald: Jim, that's a coma.

Jim: Sounds festive.

Oswald: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Oswald: Okay, truth or dare?

Jim: Truth

Oswald: How many hours have you slept this week?

Jim:

Jim: ...Dare

Oswald: Go to bed.

Jim: I don’t like this game.

*Jim and Oswald skipping stones on lake*

Jim: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Oswald, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Jim: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Lee: Oh, you’ve been?

Jim: Once. In Monopoly.

Jim: Oswald...

Oswald: Oh no, 'Oswald' in b-flat.

Oswald: You're disappointed.

Jim: *Accidentally hits Oswald in the face*

Jim: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Jim: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Oswald: What’s wrong with you?!

Jim: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Harvey: *chugs entire bottle*

Harvey: It’s perfume.

Barnes, going over Jim's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

Jim: Yes

Barnes: Okay... may I know what you create?

Jim: Problems.

Selina: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Bruce: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Selina: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Jim: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife.

Oswald: That's why I carry two knives.

Oswald: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Jim: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

Jim: I can explain.

Barnes: Can you?

Jim: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

#gotham incorrect quotes #gotham #gobblepot #jim gordon #oswald cobblepot #lee thompkins #nathaniel barnes #selina kyle #bruce wayne

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