#need space and time to process isn’t unfair to you

[steddieasitgoes]

@steddiemas Day 2 Prompt: Winter Sentence Starters

3. Did you know icicles make the perfect murder weapon?

Pairing: Pre-Steddie | wc: 1664 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

“Steve?” Eddie asks, squinting into the blinding lights of the familiar burgundy Beamer that’s parked in front of the mound of snow where the driveway usually is. It’s hard to see with the blinding lights and the sunrise bouncing off the bright snow, but Eddie’s pretty sure it’s Steve. He’s the only one who drives a Beamer around these parts of town, that’s for sure.

Sitting up on the outdoor couch, he adjusts the bundle of blankets around his shoulder. His hand fumbles in between the couch cushions until he finds the half-empty box of cigarettes and the lighter he and Wayne keep stashed there “in case of emergencies.” It’s a bit of a chore given the gloves covering his hands, but he gets the job done and brings the lit smoke to his winter-chapped lips. After a slow exhale, he tries again.

“Steve? What the hell are you doing here?”

There’s a clattering on the other side of the Beamer, followed by a string of curses before a figure emerges in the shadows of the lights. “Jesus dude,” Steve gasps. One hand stays pressed against his chest, the other clings to a snow shovel. “What the hell are you doing here? You should be inside it’s freezing out.”

It is freezing out, but there’s not that big of a difference between out here and inside Eddie’s bedroom. Not since the space heater took a shit at 2 am. He tried to fix it, he did. But it’s actually really damn hard to fix a space heater at 2 am when you’ve only slept for an hour because of chronic pain and nightmares and you can’t find the damn toolbox that’s supposed to be tucked away in the closet.

Frustrated beyond belief, Eddie needed a smoke and one thing led to another, and the next thing he knew he was being woken up by the rumbling of Steve’s Beamer. At least he was smart enough to put on gloves and wrap himself in his duvet before coming out here.

“Seriously, man. You’re going to freeze to death.”

“You know the dramatics are my thing,” Eddie teases, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself. “I’ve got a blanket and gloves.” Eddie wiggles his fingers for extra emphasis. “And this head of hair isn’t just for looks. Actually keeps me pretty warm too.”

Steve snorts, absentmindedly tugging on the end of his scarf. “Yeah, okay, man. Whatever you say.”

“So, I ask again,” Eddie says, pausing to exhale another puff of smoke. “What are you doing here at whatever time it is.”

“It’s 5,” Steve supplies, then holds up the snow shovel. “Who do you think shovels the snow around here since you’re out of commission? The snow fairy?”

The smoke in Eddie’s lungs gets trapped as his body tries to laugh and instead, he sends himself into a coughing fit that has him clutching his already aching sides. “First of all fuck you. Don’t joke about fairies!” he says, all bark no bite. “Secondly, I usually shovel the snow, but as you are aware, I’m still not allowed to lift more than two pounds thanks to our wonderful Spring Break adventures.”

“And you’re milking that for all it’s worth.”

Eddie’s quick to flip him the bird, rolling his eyes in the process. “S’Wayne paying you? That old bastard better not be paying you. I never got a dime when he made me shovel.”

“Probably because you always forgot, right?”

“You know what, Steve,” Eddie starts, trying to get up from the couch when a rush of pain races up his torso. Jesus H. Christ, he should be used to this by now. Biting his lip to keep the groan in, he settles himself back on the couch.

“M’just messing with you, Eds,” Steve says, shooting him an apologetic look. If anyone knows the pain he’s going through, it’s Steve. And yet, Steve’s wounds healed in record time, and Eddie’s on month nine of barely being able to make it down the three steps of his trailer. Yet another unfairness the universe has drawn for him.

“I was over helping the Mayfields during the last big storm and saw your uncle struggling to park after his shift. Figured if I’m here helping Max, I could help you guys out too. No big deal.”

Eddie’s not sure what universe Steve lives in, but agreeing to do manual labor for free is a big deal. A massive, big deal, actually. At least, in his universe it is. He doesn’t sign up for any sort of manual labor unless he’s getting paid. Fuck capitalism and all that, but also, you know, it’s only fair to cash in when it benefits him.

“Right, well, m’sure my uncle appreciates it.”

“He does,” Steve nods, resting the shovel on his shoulder. “So, you gonna quit distracting me now so I can get to work?”

Eddie extends one glove-covered hand out in front of him, fanning it out over the mountain of white snow separating them. “The snow is yours, my liege.”

Steve snorts, shaking his head. He takes a few steps away from the Beamer before repositioning the shovel in his hands. In one fluid motion, he drives the shovel the mix of  fresh and packed snow. The metal clatter against the frozen chunks at the bottom but the sound doesn’t drown out the groan that leaves Steve's lips as he hoists a giant pile of snow up and over to the side.

Jesus H. Christ.

Eddie takes an extra long drag from his cigarette, eyes glued to Steve as he does the same thing again. He holds the smoke in his lungs, tries to concentrate on not choking as he watches Steve shovel another massive pile of snow away.

There’s at least twenty feet of distance between them, but Eddie’s eyes are glued to Steve. His pale blue puffy jacket does a lot to obscure his muscles, but Eddie’s always had an overactive imagination. He doesn’t need a clear visual to know that Steve’s biceps are straining every time he hoists the shovel out of the snow. Or the way his back muscles flex, showing off that swimmer's upper body of his.

Steve’s ditched snow pants like most do around here and instead has his trusty pair of blue jeans on. Eddie knows from experience that denim does little to shield the freezing temperatures, but he can’t complain. Not when Steve’s ass is on full display when he squats to investigate what the shovel has just slammed into. (A stray dog toy from two trailers over.)

If he doesn’t look away soon, he’s going to be in trouble. Even the cold as fuck temperature can’t keep the blood from rushing to his dick for long. A blessing and a curse, Eddie supposes.

Taking another drag, Eddie tilts his head so it rests against the headrest of the couch. Exhaling, the plume of smoke and cold air mix, getting whisked away in the early morning breeze. It might actually be colder now than it was at 2 am.

With his head still turned upward, he can hear the rhythmic sounds of Steve shoveling the snow. The clink of the metal shovel with the snow, the scrape as he digs it down to the pavement. The occasional huff of frustration when Steve’s bitten off more than he can chew. Stubborn as always.

If he keeps making noises like that though, Eddie’s going to need a lot more than a smoke and a new direction for his eyes to keep his mind out of the gutter—

Speaking of gutters, they really need to get someone to clear out all the damn icicles clinging to them like damn Christmas trees. One harsh slam of the door and he or Wayne is going to take an icicle straight to the head. A month in a coma, seven months of physical therapy, and one dropped murder charge is not going to go to waste over a goddamn icicle. Not if he can help it at least.

Honestly, out of all of that, he’s still most upset about the murder thing. He won’t even go fishing with Wayne after that one year with the fish who flopped around practically hasping for breath until Wayne stabbed it with his pocket knife. Never again. Eddie prefers his food already cooked and void of eyes thank you very much.

Besides killing someone in his house is way too obvious. An amateur move if he’s ever seen one. He’d at least been more smart about it. If he was going to kill someone, but he’s not. Obviously. But if he was, Eddie’s thoughts trail off as the sun catches on the translucent icicle, washing his body in the warm rays of sunlight.

“You know, icicles would make the perfect murder weapon.”

The sound of the snow shovel clattering to the floor startles him. His head whips in the direction of the noises. It takes a moment a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden change in light, but when they do Steve is staring at him, hands on his hips and a frown tugging at his pale lips.

“Maybe don’t joke about murder when we’ve just cleared your name,” Steve scolds, shaking his head. “Or do you want to go back into hiding?”

Eddie’s mouth is faster than his brain, words tumbling out before he has a chance to realize the implications of his words.

“Depends. Would you be hiding me again?”

A sickening silence falls between them as all the blood in Eddie’s body rushes to his cheeks. At least his nose isn’t cold anymore. He’s two seconds away from scampering into the trailer, head slung low in embarrassment when Steve’s unabashed chuckle breaks the silence.

“You can crash at my place anytime, you know.”

No, Eddie did not know that. But now? Now, he thinks that damn space heater isn’t worth bothering Wayne for after all.

#steddiemas #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steddie fan fic #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington ficlet #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson ficlet #dani writes #stranger things #stranger things fic

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Please, please write a hurt/comfort of bringing Natasha back after the events of endgame. Reader had gotten blipped, came back, was completely broken, but they manage to bring Nat back and it’s just a tearful happy reunion. Please alleviate the pain tomorrow 😭 The pain now is too much to handle

Back to You

Warnings: hurt/comfort, slight angst(happy end)

Authors note: thank you for this idea, I hope I did it justice 💖

Word count: 1799 Nat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist

   You lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a void expression on your face. Part of you still hadn’t come to terms with what you were told yesterday. I mean, how the hell had you been gone for five years? All you did was blink. And Natasha, she….she couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t be. You had been right next to her. And Nat, she's the god damned Black Widow, she can’t just die. That's…that's impossible. Or, it should be. But here you are now, without her by your side. All because a stupid stone needed a sacrifice, and of course Clint couldn’t beat her in a fight. How ironic, you think. This is the only time you've ever wished for her to lose a fight. But of course, it's the most important one she's won. 

   “Y/n?” Clint's voice calls out, cutting through your thoughts, but you don’t spare him a glance, you can’t. “Look, I know you're angry with me, and believe me, I’m angry too, but dinner is ready and you need to eat. You haven't had a proper meal, and Nat wouldn’t want that.”

   “Well, Nats not here, is she?”

   His face twists in agony, not that you see it though, your eyes are still glued to the ceiling, “No, she isn’t. But that doesn’t mean you can just give up”

  “Why not? She was my world, Clint. My whole damn world, and now she's not here and I’m just expected to carry on?” you angrily ask as tears once again cloud your vision

   “I know she was, and of course you're allowed to grieve and process all that we- that you lost. But, you can’t just sit here and rot away, not when she always wanted so much for you. And not when Yelena is out there somewhere desperately trying to get in touch with a sister who will never respond. She needs closure.” 

   “And I don’t?!” you shout, finally looking at him, “You think knowing what she died for, knowing I missed out on five years with her, and knowing that I’ll never be able to see her face again, hear her laugh, be the cause of her smile, or get to fucking say goodbye and I love her gives me closure?!”

   “I’m sorry”

   “No, you don’t get to be sorry, Clint! You don’t get to, because she deemed you important enough to die for, and your fucking family is all here, waiting for you at home! Mines gone! At the bottom of some damned magical cliff in space!” you shout, gaining the attention of some of the other heroes

   “Y/n” Sam says, brushing past Clint in your doorway to offer you support

   “He doesn’t get to be sorry, Sam! He's here, and she's not!”

   “I know sweetheart, I know” he soothes, grabbing ahold of your shoulders 

   “He won’t even go home to the family he so desperately wanted back! Instead he just mopes around here feeling guilty while he continuously talks to me and tries to give me care that I don't want or need!”

   Deep down, you knew it was unfair to be saying these things about Clint, and to him. After all, he had lost Nat too and had even had to witness it. And he was only trying to care for you because he knew how much you mattered to his best friend and that she would want you looked out for. But right now, you can't think that rationally. Because all you see when you look at him, is her. They were a matching set, so when you see him alone, all you feel is anger at the unfairness of it all. Which unfortunately, has you lashing out at the already guilt ridden archer

   “Y/n, he's just trying to do what he can” Sam interjects, trying to calm your misplaced rage, but Clint lifts his hands up

   “It’s fine Sam. She has every right to be angry, and she's right. I should go home. She doesn’t need me as a constant reminder looming over her.” the defeated man admits before sulking off to his room, likely to begin packing 

   You stand there a moment next to Sam, letting him rub your shoulder to offer what little comfort he can. He doesn’t say anything, partially because what could he possibly say that could take this pain from you, and partially because he knows that you regret how you just treated Clint

   “She admired you, you know” you say, breaking the silence

  “Who? Me?”

   You can’t help but smile at his state of surprise, “Yes, you. Right from the start you showed your bravery and you were always her ally. Even during the accords when everyone didn’t see eye to eye, everyone was still her family”

   “She was mine too. I regret not telling her how much I looked up to her, not just Steve.”

   “She knew” you admit, smiling at him sadly, “She never felt deserving of it, but she knew”

   Before the two of you can reminisce any further, there's a knock on your doorframe, and the super soldiers body comes into view “Hey guys”

   “Hey Bucky” you reply, giving him a halfhearted smile. The poor guy looks almost as bad off as you

   “Steves just about ready to leave if you guys want to, you know, say goodbye”

   You both nod and your stomach tightens in knots. How unfair that you were given a chance to say goodbye to a teammate but not the woman you loved. Fate really was cruel. Before you knew it, you were out at the time travel pad with Bruce, Steve, Sam and Bucky. Bruce gives you a look of sorrow, and you hate it. You hate that he knows exactly how you're feeling because at one point he cared about her too even if she didn’t return the feelings

   “You know, I tried” he says, “When I had the gauntlet, the stones, I really tried to bring her back”

   You nod in appreciation as your eyes fill with tears, and you try your best to blink them away, not wanting to once again break down in front of them. Eventually after some rather short but sweet words between Steve Bucky and Sam, he picks up the briefcase with the stones and heads for the pad. Bruce gives him specific instructions for returning them as Steve gets in the center of the pad next to Mojlnir and activates his quantum suit.

   “How long is this gonna take?” Sam asks, glancing over to Bruce

   “For him, as long as he needs. For us, five seconds” The machine powers up, the hammer, “Ready Cap? Okay, we’ll meet you back here, alright?”

   “You bet”

   “Three….Two…One” he counts down and the four of you watch Steve disappear into the past, “Returning in, five…four…three…two…one”

   Nothing happens and Bruce frantically checks over the equipment. You nervously shift on your feet as Sam looks over at the scientist, “Where is he?”

   Bruce can only shake his head, “I don’t know. He should be here”

   “Well get him back!” 

   “I’m trying!” 

   “Get him the hell back!” Sam shouts even louder this time, losing what little calm he had

   “Hey, I said I’m trying!” he replies, pressing a few buttons

   But as they argue, Bucky notices an old man on a bench nearby, and in his heart of hearts, he knows it's Steve, “Hey Sam!”

   Both men walk in that direction, leaving both you and the big green guy alone at the pad. You think you realize what's happening, and you're about to tell Bruce not to bother with the machine, that there's no one to bring back, when suddenly it proves you wrong by humming to life

   Someone appears in the middle of it then, and they stumble forward. You can tell by the size of the figure that it's definitely not Steve, which you knew, but the helmet of the quantum suit stops you from being able to tell who it actually is. Whoever it is then reaches up to take off the helmet, and when long red tresses fall out, you can practically feel your heart stop. The woman looks up then, to see where she was, and is met with your distraught tear stained face. A face she's longed to see, hold and kiss for five years now.

   “Y/n?” she asks, barley above a whisper as her own tears fall down her cheeks

   Your bottom lip trembles, “Natty?”

   “Oh, moya lyubov'(my love)” she exclaims, rushing over to envelope you in her arms. You don't even care that they’re almost crushing you, “I missed you so much. I never thought I’d see you again”

   You sob against her, clutching onto her suit with all your strength, “You never thought you’d see me?! Tasha, I never thought I’d see you! I came back after what only felt like five seconds and the whole world was different and you…you were gone”

   “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t let Clint-  ”

   “Why? God, Nat, I don’t want the man dead either, but if there was ever a time for you to be selfish, that would have been it!” you exclaim, slightly frustrated with her, “I mean did you even think of me? Of Yelena? What we’d do without you? How your absence would kill us?”

   “Of course I did detka(baby), but someone had to go”

   You sigh, “And why must that someone always be you? Why can’t you see that you are just as important as anyone else, that you matter to someone too?”

   “I just….the things I've done…”

    “Don’t matter anymore, Natasha! You wiped your ledger clean years ago, either in the Battle of New York or the Battle of Sokovia. You have nothing to atone for, and your family needs you, I need you. So please, I am begging you, never ever do something like that again.” you plead, cupping her face, “Because, while I’m sure five years without me was terrible, I can’t do forever without you. I can’t. Please don’t ask me to” 

   She surges forward, unable to stop herself from kissing the lips she's longed for, for so long. You happily indulge her in this, kissing back with a ferocity that conveyed all your emotions, from love to anger and sorrow. Eventually she pulls away from your lips, but keeps you close

   “You're right, I could stand to be a bit more selfish at times. I’m sorry I put you through that, Y/n. It won’t happen again, I promise. And I'm here now, ok? I’m right here”

   You nod, and hug her again, silently thanking all the gods in existence that somehow, someway, the woman you loved had been able to find her way back to you.

Taglist:@wandaromamoff69 @mmmmokdok @nataliasknife @natashasilverfox @when-wolves-howl @danveration @naomi-m3ndez @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @readings-stuff @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @xchaiix @iaminluvwithnat @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories @imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastormm  @zoomdeathknight @rayeofmoonlight @aeroae @sashawalker2

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel

[uncanny-tranny]

I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place to ask this, please feel free to ignore.

So I figured out earlier this year that I’m trans as an adult. And I was euphoric for months afterwards. I kept the knowledge to myself and did tons of research to really be sure and there was never and shred of doubt. So I eventually started coming out, by now I’m out to most people in my life and reactions have been better than expected, everyone is doing their best when it comes to using my new name and pronouns. I even found a therapist who’s cool and started my sessions so I can get testosterone next year hopefully.

But now it feels like I’m hitting a wall. I’ve been so stressed out lately and I feel a sense of near-constant dread. I had some fleeting thoughts of “omg what am I doing” when I first came out to the first people but that only ever lasted for a short time. But now I’ve been feeling that almost constantly the past weeks. And I’m so exhausted. I wonder if I’m making a mistake.

But on the other hand it feels nice when people use my new name and pronouns and I’m getting more and more used to it. I can’t wait to get on T cause I really want those changes and I could handle hair loss, acne and other undesired consequences.

So I guess I just wanna know if this feeling of dread and insecurity is normal. I suppose it is, this is an exciting time for me with huge changes on the horizon, but it’s driving me a bit insane lately. It’d help to know whether others feel the same and I don’t know where else to ask.

Sorry again if this ask is inappropriate or something

Honestly, I think the biggest contributor to these types of feelings is both that it is so new (i.e., getting almost... used to not identifying with the language people use for you and how you are conceptualized) and the fact that it's so much change in a relatively short amount of time.

I've seen this constantly over the years, and some of the biggest reasons I've seen people react "negatively" to their transness is that it is so much change and also... there is that sense of imposter syndrome that you start thinking you either don't deserve to be treated how you want and need to be, but also that you somehow are making it up or are about to make a grand mistake. Transition is often treated like this grave decision, that if you don't know for sure what you want that it's "not worth it" to pursue transition. I think that's unfair because... transition isn't something that needs to be treated like life-or-death, that you can't ever reverse part or all of your decision.

So, no, you aren't reacting poorly or weirdly in this stage of life. It's completely normal to feel almost out of place and unsure about how to process your inner feelings and the reactions from others. The best thing, in my opinion, that you can do is give yourself space and not place the weight of the world on your shoulders. You have time, and you are allowed to make whatever decisions about your life and how you spend it.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #long post #i'm going to be real... there are very few trans experiences that are unheard of or unwarranted #it's such a common experience i've seen in how you feel #and that's not to say that you shouldn't be listened to but that you aren't alone #and that you aren't... wrong or Not Trans

[schraubd]

The Endless Futile Quest for "Incontestable" Antisemitism

It's never good when "Jews" are trending, the saying goes, and the latest trend has been some pretty nasty antisemitism from celebrity rapper Kanye West. What began with a "White Lives Matter" shirt, continued with a Tucker Carlson interview where he claimed Jared Kushner promoted the Abraham Accords in order to make money, and concluded with a series of social media posts decrying Jewish "control" ("Ima use you as an example to show the Jewish people that told you to call me that no one can threaten or influence me"; "On JEWISH PEOPLE ... You guys have toyed with me and tried to black ball anyone whoever opposes your agenda").

It was obvious antisemitism. And yet, if one wanders around social media spaces, you see plenty of people denying the obvious. All the usual permutations are there -- from the "Full Livingstone" to "false accusations only diminish the true antisemitism" -- to the shock of many Jewish and non-Jewish commentators who cannot fathom how this isn't the clearest of cases.

I think there's an important lesson here, and it's something I talk about in my Epistemic Antisemitism article. As any Jew knows, antisemitism allegations are regularly met with pushback -- claims that the allegations are false, smears, bad faith, or political opportunism. Arguing against such retorts takes up tremendous time and energy, and is deeply depressing to boot. Moreover, the fact of contestation leads to second-guessing and doubt -- is this a real case of antisemitism? Or am I being unfair, too sensitive, too trigger-happy, too censorial. 

Hence, there is a deep desire for incontestable cases of antisemitism -- the cases that everyone agrees are antisemitic and thus will circumvent this pushback. These cases are ones we can be absolutely sure are antisemitic precisely because there is universal agreement about their antisemitism. Said agreement validates the initial judgment and so avoids that process of recrimination and second-guessing that plagues antisemitism discourse generally. By contrast, the fact of contestation is thought to at least potentially raise the specter that the charge is unfair, subject to dispute, and not a fair target for being called antisemitism.

But here's the problem: There are no incontestable cases of antisemitism. From my article:

[W]ith no single agreed-upon definition of the phenomenon of antisemitism itself, no antisemitism allegations can ever be truly “incontestable,” leaving all of them open to accusations that they are in bad faith. Or, put differently, there might be some truly “incontestable” cases of antisemitism—but if they’re actually uncontested then we don’t need any regulative principles governing how to deliberate over them. It is only where there is a dispute, where some people are denying—perhaps passionately denying—the antisemitism claim, that it matters that we “take seriously” Jewish claims (167-68).

The fight against antisemitism has to be willing to call things antisemitic even when others deny it. The fact of contestation cannot be enough to defeat the claim. All antisemitism claims that are the subject of controversy will, by definition, be contested. There are no universally agreed-upon cases, no matter how obvious they might be. Someone will always be there to say its actually legitimate discourse or an arguable point, and that the accusation is unfair, goes too fair, is silencing, or is a slander.

This doesn't mean that every accusation of antisemitism must be accepted on faith either. Rather, it means there is no getting around the hard work -- that to fight against antisemitism means engaging in critical appraisals of antisemitism even in cases where there are very loud voices screaming "HOW DARE YOU CALL THIS ANTISEMITIC." Because that will be all cases. The quest for the incontestable will never be fulfilled.

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/Tf3qeQl

#anti-semitism #Kanye West

[ex0rin]

Whumpcember 2022 - Day 7

@whumpcember - Day 7 ✨Scars✨ winterbones, stucky - 730 words Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow scars (absolute shout out to @subverbaldreams AS ALWAYS because I will never stop thinking about those back scars), trauma

The door to the bathroom creaks open while he’s still half undressed - it’s his own fault, he has trouble with doors being closed completely, something about being locked away in dark cages and cryo chambers for pretty much all of his life. 

It might have been okay if he’d at least been turned around, facing the door instead of still in the process of pulling the shower curtain back across the bathtub; it’s not like Steve hasn’t seen… well, most of him - they’ve been cohabiting the same space since Steve had circled back from the past once he’d realized his mistake. 

His huge, unbelievable mistake.

That had been rough - the time alone before Steve’s big return and then the first several months afterwards as well; he’s not so good at feelings and talking and Steve’s not good at… listening to his horrifying and (understandably) very traumatic past if he’s honest. 

Which brings him to now. 

He hears the rough intake of breath before he even realizes that Steve’s behind him - he’s gotten rusty at hearing the other man or Steve’s gotten better at sneaking up on him; it’s followed by the soft, tentative brush of fingertips along the healed silver slashes that still mark his back and he goes tense, breath lodged in his lungs. 

This isn’t going to end well. 

“Baby,” Steve says, which is not a good start - that word makes his eyes flutter closed on instinct, it makes him think about dark, spiked hair and amber eyes, of blood and come and falling to his knees; it makes him want to open his mouth and say ready to comply.

He fights against the feel of the words at the back of his mouth and presses his lips together instead, biting the inside of his cheek until there’s the always familiar taste of copper along the side of his tongue.

“What,” Steve starts, hesitating for a moment - there’s a long enough pause that he can start trying to breathe again even if Steve’s too-careful fingers are gently tracing down the full extent of the scar, down down down his back along a long diagonal line that curves over his hip and then back up, following the trail to the center and back up over the branching, matching silver slash. 

It’s already too late for him to play it off, as far as he would be able to anyway; Steve’s not an idiot, he never has been - dense sometimes, too good for his own… good but not dumb enough to ignore the obvious, to not see the connection. 

He sees it every time he looks over the shoulder and into a mirror, he thinks about it without meaning to and wakes from dreams - from nightmares, he’s been told, that leave him confused and shaking and more often than not, hard between his thighs. 

“Oh,” Steve says, like it’s painful to even say anything at all - the fingers along his back lift away from his skin and he knows that Steve’s clenching his fingers into a fist; it’s the same thing that always happens when Steve remembers that Rumlow got to spend years and years and years with him. 

Which is unfair but hard to argue. 

He’s tried to remind Steve that it’s not like he had a choice in the matter. 

It’s hard with the Triskelion leak circulating around the internet still - all those grim and gritty details of exactly what Rumlow and the team did to him are just out there in the world for anyone to read and Steve’s always been his own worst enemy, needing to know everything even if it’ll make matters so much worse. 

He still finds it weird or interesting or… strangely endearing (although he’ll never tell anyone) that the scars on his back, the perfectly clear and obvious replica of Rumlow’s harness splayed over his skin never made it into the files - it feels personal and safe and his.

Which is why this is bad. 

He knows the question before it’s in the air between them:

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

And there’s nothing he can say that Steve won’t see through - especially with the way Steve’s warm hands are on his shoulders and Steve is turning him around so that they’re finally looking at each other.

There are already tears in Steve’s eyes and maybe he doesn’t need to say anything this time. 

Maybe Steve already knows why. 

#whumpcember2022 #whumpcember day7 #cara writes #hydratrashparty #winterbones #stucky (derogatory) #just making sure this doesn't end up in that tag somehow 😅 #steve rogers tag #bucky barnes tag #rumlow tag #make steve rogers cry 2kforever thanks

[piraticusdorm]

Crocodile Tears

Content Warnings: Mentions of violence to a child, mention of drowning, light blood and gore

“Don’t come any closer! Monster!”

Conrad’s voice trembled as he screamed, sword drawn. Krok could only stare, stuck in place, as the man in front of him walked further backwards. The stance of a cornered animal, despite the beach around them having plenty of space to run away. The ticking of a clock reached all of the island, thumping inside Krok’s head like a heartbeat, each second painfully long.

“I can’t stand being around you any longer! No convenience is worth keeping you around!”

The words hit hard, harder than the wet projectile that just hit his face. A clawed hand touches his cheek, the smell of salt water stronger now. What falls from his face after a moment is a bundle of seaweed, still dripping.

“Monster! Stay away!”

Beautiful but hateful voices. Right, the mermaids around his home sounded like that. He learned to not get near the lagoons early on… but the mermaids sneering at him were now at sea. Something at the back of his mind nagged at him, too ambiguous to place.

“If I knew you’d turn out this way, maybe I would have kept you.”

A gargled voice, of shifting pitches, struggling to speak as blood pools in their lungs. A voice that couldn’t have existed. Krok turned to see it’s owner, stepping in something wet and soft in the process. 

The dry, pleasant sand of sand was changed into that of blood and guts sprawled around. He recognized some of the body parts strewn around. The fins of a giant great shark, the plucked out eyes of a multi-headed sea monster, the bioluminescent scales he tore off that deep sea beast, the clothes of glory seeking so called monster hunters… And opposite of Krok there stood the greatest beast of them all.

“No. Because I knew you’d end like this, I had to kill you first.”

The Monster of Skull Island.

That is, the one before Krok. A giant thing of tough scales and sharp claws, dark green scales blending seamlessly into the yellow bone of its skull, its eye socket long since empty and its long teeth promising as brutal a violence as it delivered in their prime. Whatever muscles and skin made their face, Krok had long since forgotten. Its skull was the only left over that stood the pass of time. 

“Ah. You tried, but I ate you, didn’t I?”

“You ate us all. A true monster.”

A choking noise follows. A laugh, Krok thinks, but an awful one. Like trying to recreate the song of a bird you’ve only read in books. 

“Just means your time was up. Isn’t that how nature works?”

Golden eyes cast downwards at the gore pooling around, unimpressed.The reflected light of iridescent scales catches his eye, long wavy hair now matted in blood. Mermaid meat is a rare delicacy, it makes sense she still stands out in his mind. Even if he can’t recall the taste of it. Krok lazily points a finger at her corpse.

“Trying to down a kid for no reason doesn’t make you a monster, then? She even came to my own home, you know…”

“That wasn’t the only choice.”

A pause. Krok let his hand fall in silence.

“Hey, isn’t that unfair? You know, it takes a monster to kill another. If I let her go she would just do it to other people. I need to protect the people I care about too-”

“It’s fun right?”

Bone can’t move, and a part of Krok knows that. But that is what the skull in front of him is doing, the corners have lifted upwards in a smile, the eyes sockets bending upwards in glee.

“Being the strongest. Being the monster above monsters. It’s so much fun. But I told you…”

“Huh…?”

“A monster is alone. That’s why it was you or me. That’s why those humans will leave you.”

Rouch clawed hands grab the sides of Krok’s face, harshly bringing him up to eye level. The emptiness of the eye sockets so up close makes Krok’s hair stand upright, animal instincts telling him to run, to trash, to fight and kill, to choose one now in order to survive. A nostalgic feeling. Then the hand turns his head, as if trying to snap his neck. In the distance he can see Conrad’s golden ship getting further and further away. Tears well in his eyes, and what small words he can say come out strained.

“If I had put a collar on like a good pet…”

The beast snorts, warm air passing over Krok as his shoulders slump with a sigh of his own. Memories, or fantasies, of his time together with the pirate crew, with the other students, and with the townspeople of ports flicker in his mind. 

“... that would be too boring.”

Smaller claws dig past the rough scales, tearing them off the flesh underneath. The hands drop Krok, who falls firmly on his feet. The tears finally fall, flowing free despite the small smile on his lips growing wider by the moment.

“I like it when I can tear pieces of shit like you down. What’s wrong with that? You’re the same, so it’s fine, right? Right!? It’s fun to have strong prey!”

That was something he noticed after staring at that skull for so long. Its teeth were made to sink into flesh and not let go. Kork’s sharper teeth were made for tearing flesh, taking away chunks and letting blood spray free. The feeling of hard scales giving way into soft meat, the warmth of blood in a living being, it all flowed back as he bit the larger crocodile piece by piece. 

“Hunting the weak is no fun, you know? I only wanna fight monsters. I don’t want to hold back, I want to tear them up as much as I want, I want them to bite me back, I want to bash them in, I want that rush-”

Heavy, labored breaths mix into a laugh. Krok’s tongue peaks out, licking a mix of blood and tears off the corners. Copper and blood, as comforting and familiar as any taste can be. 

“If I was boring Conrad wouldn’t want me~ And everyone else should know better. They’re too weak, they're too pitiful to eat. So it’s fine. I definitely won’t harm them.”

The gargling of the beast beneath him is getting weaker as more blood spills forth.

“I’m not like you or her. I’m a true monster.”

.

..

…

The rays of sunlight enter the room filtered by the ocean. The underwater room lights up in a calming blue, golden eyes looking at the reflections in the ceiling.

Krok's limbs pop in a satisfying way when he stretches. As if on cue a small, perfectly round gem rolls from beneath the pillow. It's vibrant green hue reminds Krok of his own scales. Other lizard folk he met always had darker and muted scales... Even that one...

“Hm… I was so small back then. I wonder how big you really were?”

#peaceful shadows #krok time 🐊 #IDK IF ILL DO TINK LMAO.... stuff is piling up sadly so this might be the last individual fic for the month 😔

[mostlysignssomeportents]

All the books I reviewed in 2022 (Part III: Nonfiction part 1)

I. Electrify by Saul Griffith

The MacArthur prizewinning engineer offers a detailed, optimistic and urgent roadmap for a climate-respecting energy transition that we can actually accomplish in 10–15 years. The US’s energy budget has been wildly overstated. About half of the energy that the US consumes is actually the energy we need to dig, process, transport, store and use fossil fuels.

Renewables have these costs, too, but nothing near the costs of using fossil fuels. An all-electric nation is about twice as efficient as a fossil fuel nation. That means that the problem of electrifying America is only half as hard as we’ve been told it was. A just energy transition isn’t a transition to ecology austerity — you can have better, cheaper versions of the stuff you love.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/09/practical-visionary/#popular-engineering

II. The Right to Repair by Aaron Perzanowski

In a series of short, punchy chapters, Perzanowski lays out the ancient, noble and necessary case for repair — a practice as old as the first resharpened stone axe — and proceeds to dissect each of the idiotic pretenses used to block it. From IP law to trade law, from consumer protection to consumer safety, from cybersecurity to unfair competition, Perzanowski demolishes the corporate argument for filling our planet up with immortal garbage in the name of consumerism.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/29/planned-obsolescence/#r2r

III. Woody Guthrie, Songs and Art * Words and Wisdom by Nora Guthrie and Robert Santelli

332 pages of reproductions of Guthrie’s art, songs and journals, as well as essays by notables who were influenced by Guthrie, as well as two of his kids: Arlo and Nora Guthrie. Guthrie’s journals and essays chart the development of a full-fledged philosophy of art and aesthetics.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/06/this-land-is-your-land/#this-machine-kills-fascists

IV. The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber and David Wengrow

The most important book I read in 2022. Its core argument: that the shape of societies — hierarchical or non, authoritarian or free — is not foreordained by our technology or living arrangements. We are free to choose who we want to be: equal or unequal, coercive or free, warlike or peaceful. A dizzying, thorough, beautifully told series of histories of ancient civilizations, many of which have only come into focus thanks to recent advances in archaeological technology. They show that every conceivable variation on centralization, coercion, hierarchy, violence, agriculture and urbanism has existed, in multiple places, for hundreds or thousands of years at a time.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/08/three-freedoms/#anti-fatalism

V. How to Take Over the World by Ryan North

A popular science book that tours a wide-ranging set of technological ideas by means of explaining how to realize the supervillain plots so beloved of Marvel comics. It’s full of extremely funny, extremely informative riffs that make for an engrossing frame for very deep dives into knowledge that are esoteric, interdisciplinary, and damned interesting.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/16/they-laughed-at-me-in-vienna/#ill-show-them-all

VI. The High Sierra by Kim Stanley Robinson

A unique and profound piece of western literature. The key is in that subtitle: “A Love Story.” It’s a memoir, of how Robinson came to be a Sierra person, starting with a reckless adventure in the mountains while tripping on LSD, wildly unprepared but young and vigorous and lucky. It’s a story about the physical being of the Sierra. The Sierra is revealed as the source of Robinson’s novelistic pastoralism — the vividness of the Martian hills, of space station interiors, of Antarctica. All of those descriptions are thinly veiled Sierras, like a set of stock characters in a novelist’s ensemble cast who are stand-ins for the people in his life.

It’s a story about the problems of the Sierras. The colonialism. The genocide. The place-names honoring the monsters of history, butted up against names commemorating heroes and lovers of the place, some settler colonialists, some First Nations. The ecocide, going back to the drowning of the Hetch Hetchy basin, not just to create a reservoir but to demoralize the advocates for nature and wilderness, scatter them so powerful men could continue to seize and destroy wild places.

It’s a story about living with the Sierras. Robinson recounts the history of the summer settlements — the places where First Nations people would come, year after year, for centuries, for fellowship and interchange and ritual. He tells the tale of the Sierra Club, the men — and especially the women — who loved the Sierras and whom the Sierra loved back.

Robinson made me fall in love with a place I’ve never been, and miss it even though I’ve never known it.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/25/the-wild-places/#sierra-people

VII. Ways of Being by James Bridle

A big, lyrical, strange and inspiring book about the “more than human world” — a world that encompasses the worldview of animals, ecosystems, and software. “Inanimate” objects — a homebrew self-driving car and a recommendation algorithm — both have distinct worldviews (umwelts). Our own umwelt and desires impact these inanimate objects, too; we are inextricably tangled up with them. Their actions result from our actions, and our actions result from theirs.

The whole world — from microscopic organisms that are neither animals nor plants to birds to primates, to plants and the fungi that interpenetrate and coexist with their root cells — is part of this phenomenon. Indeed, the interconnectedness of everything is so profound and so undeniable that any close examination of any phenomenon, being, or object leads to the inescapable conclusion that it can’t be understood as a separate, standalone thing, separate from everything else.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/07/more-than-human/#umwelt

Next up: more nonfiction!

https://mostlysignssomeportents.tumblr.com/post/702452399863889921/all-the-books-i-reviewed-in-2022-part-iv

Image: Matthew Petroff https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:George-peabody-library.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[Image ID: Interior of the George Peabody Library in Baltimore.

#pluralistic #book reviews of 2022

[allwaysnighthere]

I can’t abide by people who make me feel as though I’m hard to love or that I need to dim my own light (even when it’s already faint) to be someone more tolerable. Everyone has faults and traits or habits that maybe aren’t so great. Maybe I’m too forgiving to the point that I’ve enabled rotten behavior. Like you can treat me this way because I have a high tolerance for the sake of having friends, even though the way you treat me isn’t friendly, and even when someone has acknowledged it they don’t apologize. There’s rarely a change or they find justification for it. As if there’s a reason why they can’t communicate a need or boundary without being harsh or demeaning. As someone who can’t easily recognize some boundaries or infer them from vague clues, it’s unfair to be held to the expectation that I simply know something without it being said. I’ve always asked for people to speak plainly because I don’t understand between the lines insinuations.

I hate being treated as if I’m inferior because I haven’t had the same experiences or ability in dealing with certain issues. Or in some cases, they think that my life is somehow picturesque because I’ve gotten to a point where I have a decent job with good benefits, things are getting better with my partner, and we have a roof over our heads. This is the first time I’ve been able to consistently pay for and attend therapy sessions with someone I connect with as she’s been through some similar experiences. I wish it worked that way, but it doesn’t.

I used to think that once all those pieces came together and I spent a certain amount of time in therapy that all would be better, that I’d be healed from many, many years of abuse and living in broken homes. Thing is, there are a lot of pieces that I never put together before because I didn’t have someone to help me see it. Until you have someone that straight up points out the behaviors that are not okay or you stumble across them in reading, it’s not a concept that comes naturally. It takes work. Unlearning, learning, understanding. I cannot do this on my own. I’ve tried it before with zero success. I have limited support. I can’t count on family and while my partner is far more emotionally intelligent than I am, he can’t solve everything either.

Even today there are other factors that complicate the healing process, factors that I haven’t talked about with others or on here. When you don’t have a parent or parental figure that you can go to for help when you’re young - either due to their absence, their inability to assist because they never learned how to process emotions either, or they’re simply not a safe space - things just get bottled up until they come out in the worst ways, and if you’re like me in that you’re afraid of losing someone’s love by revealing those mistakes and being honest in general about what’s going on in your head, then they simply go under a rug. I’ve been masking my whole life. I could teach a masterclass in putting on a front of being “normal” to others. So, it eats away at me when someone presumes to know me better than I know myself or that all should be resolved by now.

It truly hurts when someone tells you that you should be “over it” by now. Just move on, right? As if I didn’t spend my childhood living in hell? I watched my mom get beaten by her second guy. As much as she cried and wanted to get away, that didn’t happen for a few years. Then the third really fucked my world up in more ways than I can remember and describe on here. To be raised by a single parent who could barely keep us above the poverty level and couldn’t be home was hard. She couldn’t afford consistent therapy for both of us. I made a serious attempt on my own life when I was a sophomore which led to me being handcuffed and discharged to an inpatient institution for two weeks. It helped for a little while, then it was back to the downward spiral. There’s plenty more in my adult life that looking back at I can see now was harmful or they were warning signs, but I didn’t know it at the time.

I wish I could have understood sooner just how many of my habits and mannerisms stem from an unresolved past. But I take some comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I’ve read healing experiences from others that are decades older than I, and sometimes you don’t get the help you need until your 40s or beyond that. It’s not an instantaneous process. I’ve wished for it to be that simple, like I could count on being done and healed in a year of therapy, except it’s not like that. It’s not a work project. Everybody is different. I try to remind myself to brush off comments from people who think they know what I went through, as if they’re the ones that experienced what I did. You didn’t, just like I didn’t go through your experience so I’m not going to pretend as though I get it.

I guess what I’m getting at with this is that I’m frustrated by the pressure to just somehow easily pick up on all these new concepts when a.) I haven’t had exposure to them in the past and b.) therapy is far from being over. It could be several more years before I have what I need in my toolkit to be able to thrive and cope in healthier ways. I don’t think it’s one of those things where you’re one and done or that it happens quickly, certainly not for everyone. Should I limit my circle to people who are more understanding? Most likely. It isn’t helping to be around people who think they’re being supportive when it’s as if they’re trying to hold me to a miracle standard or think they know the full extent of what I’ve been through. It should be about the journey, not the end game. I don’t like being held to extravagant standards and then having the goalpost moved based on what someone thinks is appropriate.

If it didn’t take you long or you picked up on it quickly, I’m happy for you. I’m more than excited for you to have processed your trauma or to be at a point where you believe you’re on the threshold of success. But please don’t hold others to those expectations. Honestly, it’s kind of devastating and hurtful when someone expects you to be “done with it” or to be at what they consider a benchmark.

I am not you and you are not me.

#124 #just rambling #jr #trauma recovery #mental health #cw abuse #growth #healing

[chisaiyume]

The Perfect Break Up

The perfect break up…

Is there really such a thing as a perfect break up? Or a mutual break up?

All I know is that whether it’s considered “mutual” or not…a break up is never fair…

And here is why:

(Disclaimer: I’m no relationship expert, but here is what I’ve learned through my own experiences and the experiences of others)

A break up is never fair, whether you are doing the break up, the one that is receiving the break up, or if you both decide call it quits. Someone was a little bit more invested in the relationship than the other. Even when both people decide to end the relationship, one leaves feeling hurt, drained, ashamed, cheated, etc.

To the breaker upper: No matter how legit or reasonable your reason to end the relationship, you will always be seen as the “bad” person. And here is the reason why…when you made that decision that you are ending the relationship, that is your choice and your choice alone. You are blind-siding the other person. The person, who thought that you were the one. The person, who gave you his/her heart and expected that you would hold it with care. With that in mind, can you really blame that person when they are hysterical once the break-up happens? Do you deserve it? No, but at the same time, they do have the right to their emotions. The best you can do is to say what you need to say and then give them the time and space to heal on their own. Don’t try to be the good person. Don’t try to be their friend. If they want you in their life, that is for them to decide. Once you made the choice of cutting yourself out of their life, you don’t have the right to then turn around and try to insert yourself back into it. When you leave, leave. To you this might seem like it is an unfair judgment and label, but unfortunately it is what it is. Are you that type of person? No, you at least had the moral duty of ending a lie instead of dragging it out to a point in which it becomes toxic. And if your partner does not understand that then, unfortunately you are going to have to be your own best man and console yourself that you are doing the right thing. It might also help to have friends or a trusted family member to help you in your own healing as well. (To me personally, a break-up should be done in person. I also understand that depending on the situation and who the other person is, in person might not be the best idea or possible. I just think that in person allows both sides to relieve miscommunication.)  

To the broken: You will feel devastated, hurt, and most of all betrayed. You can cry. You can scream. And you can be mad. But the most important one to feel when the time comes is calm. You want to listen to the reasons. As hard as it is for you to hear, it might just be as hard for them to say. And if it isn’t, you still want to hear the reasons. Because you’ll wanted to know them once the healing process begins. It’ll keep you from fantasizing other options. Plus, just as much as you have the right to your reactions to the breakup, that person also has the right to say his/her peace. After the calm, allow yourself the time to experience the other feelings. Don’t deny them because without them, you can’t start the healing process. (Trust me…from my own personal experience…you’ll need them. And the more you deny them, the longer it’s going to hurt) The worst feeling of all will come when you start doubting yourself and the shame settles in. You will start to wonder why you were not good enough. And the truth is…you were, but just not for that person. Know that when someone leaves your life, there is a reason for them to leave. Whether the reasons to you were good enough or not, understand that regardless of the good that the two of you have shared, there were still reasons enough for them to leave. Let them leave because when the leave, they clear out a spot for someone new to come in. Your main focus after the breakup is you. Spend some time with your loved ones when you feel lonely, start a new hobby, do something that you have been putting off, or go and find yourself again. Whether you allow that person to stay as a friend or part of your life, is up to you. (I personally always cut clean. Why, because if there were reasons to leave me now…what is to stop them from finding reasons to leave later. It also helps me maintain the focus on me and not on the other person.)   

Chibi: No one comes out of a relationship unhurt. Even when it’s a mutual breakup. The only thing that both parties can do is try to hurt a little less. And this can only happen if both parties calmly sit down and have a decent conversation as to why things didn’t work out. A conversation without spit, without emotions, without blame, and without guilt. Listen. Let go. And heal.

#thoughts on break ups #break ups #thoughts

[techminds256]

What is YouTube Partner Program

YouTube Partner Program: Image By Christopher Kidobi Ever since its inception, YouTube has transformed from just another platform to watch videos into a colossal universe of opportunities. For content creators, it's not just about sharing videos anymore; it's about monetizing their passion and expertise. But how exactly does this monetization work? Enter the realm of the YouTube Partner Program (YPP). Today, we’ll unravel the intricacies of the YPP, showing you its core elements and answering the burning question - What is the YouTube Partner Program? What is YouTube Partner Program? To put it in layman's terms, the YouTube Partner Program is a bridge connecting YouTubers to monetization opportunities. By being part of this program, creators can earn money from their content through advertisements, channel memberships, and more. It's a dynamic avenue that has not only empowered millions of creators globally but has also given birth to a new era of digital entrepreneurs. YouTube Partner Program: Video From Youtube History and Evolution The Beginning The YPP wasn't always part of YouTube's ecosystem. It rolled out in 2007, allowing a select group of creators to earn from ads. Rapid Expansion As YouTube grew, so did the YPP. With new formats, advertising options, and engagement tools, it metamorphosed into an invaluable asset for creators. Eligibility Criteria Overhaul With time, YouTube realized the need for a stricter vetting process to ensure content quality, leading to periodic updates in YPP eligibility criteria. Features of YouTube Partner Program Ad Revenue Being the bread and butter for most creators, ads are central to the YPP. Whether it's display, overlay, or video ads, the program ensures creators get a slice of the pie. Channel Memberships For channels with a significant following, memberships offer fans exclusive badges, emojis, and access to members-only content. Super Chat & Super Stickers It's YouTube's way of letting viewers show their love. Fans can purchase these during live chats, providing direct revenue to creators. YouTube Premium Revenue When a YouTube Premium subscriber watches a creator's content, they earn a part of the subscription fee, sweetening the deal further. How to Join YouTube Partner Program? Joining YPP is not as easy as pie. There’s a procedure: - Review and understand the program policies. - Make sure you have at least 1,000 subscribers and 4,000 watch hours in the past 12 months. - Set up an AdSense account. - Wait for YouTube's review and approval, keeping fingers crossed! Also Read: How to upload a video on youtube Benefits of Being a YouTube Partner Monetary Rewards Obviously! The ability to monetize your content is a game-changer. Access to YouTube Spaces In select cities, partners can access YouTube's state-of-the-art production spaces. Advanced Analytics Understanding your audience is crucial. YPP offers enhanced analytics to help creators fine-tune their strategies. Drawbacks and Controversies Like everything under the sun, the YPP isn't free from its share of controversies. From "Adpocalypse" to allegations of unfair demonetization, it's faced its fair share of storms. Success Stories from YouTube Partner Program Remember when Justin Bieber was discovered on YouTube? That's the power of YPP. Over the years, countless creators have turned their passions into careers, thanks to this program. Is YouTube Partner Program Worth it? Joining the YPP isn't everyone's cup of tea. It demands dedication, authenticity, and, above all, passion. For those ready to invest time and effort, the returns can be mind-blowing, both monetarily and in terms of personal growth. Also Read: YouTube Channel Monetization Requirements FAQs How long does it take to get approved for the YPP? It usually takes a month, but sometimes, due to high volumes of applications, it might take longer. Can I lose my YouTube Partner Program membership? Yes, if you fail to adhere to YouTube's guidelines and policies, or if your channel becomes inactive, you risk losing your YPP membership. Is there any cost associated with joining the YPP? No, joining the YPP is absolutely free. How is the ad revenue split between YouTube and creators? Generally, creators receive 55% of the ad revenue, while YouTube takes the remaining 45%. Can I join the YouTube Partner Program with multiple channels? Yes, but each channel must meet the eligibility criteria individually. Do all videos qualify for monetization under the YPP? No, only videos that adhere to YouTube's advertiser-friendly content guidelines are eligible. Also Read: New YouTube Monetization Requirements The YouTube Partner Program, without a shadow of a doubt, has reshaped the world of content creation. It's become the backbone for many creators, offering them an avenue to turn their passions into profit. Whether you're an aspiring YouTuber or just curious, understanding the intricacies of the YPP is invaluable. After all, in today's digital age, it's more than just a program; it's a phenomenon. External Sources: - YouTube Official Site - YPP Overview on Wikipedia Read the full article

#AdRevenue #ChannelMemberships #ContentCreation #DigitalEntrepreneurship #SocialMedia #VideoMarketing #youtube #YouTubeMonetization #YouTubePartnership #YouTubePolicies #YouTubePremium

[kindar-life]

When I have a bad day

To start with, long time no see. Sorry for the lack of update. Most of the time I have nothing I feel is worth talking about. And when I do, well, it tends to be a doozy. This Friday was not a good day for me, writing wise. On the first of December, Patreon started processing my supporter’s payments. And as with every previous months, I lost supporters when their payments didn’t go through. I’m used to that at this point, or so I thought. On previous months, I’d gain enough supporters to get close to fifty, and twice, go over it, then on the first, I’d drop back down before fifty. It was basically a joke to me at this point; that I’d never hit 50. This time, I dropped below 40. Ah, Ah. That isn’t funny. Other writers on Stream I watch before my day started tried to help me by asking me questions and offering advice. The more we talked about it, the angrier I felt myself getting at the situation and my perceived unfairness of it. I brought the conversation to an end before I became too angry and lashed out at people who don’t deserve it. When my writing time started, I tried to work. I really did. I lasted about half an hour of staring at the screen, still getting angrier. Some of my watchers tried to help and offer support, and I appreciate them from that, but in the end, I ‘admitted defeat’ and walked away from the computer. I binge watched the show Wednesday, then Played Space Engineer for the day and the weekend. So, why did it hit me so hard? Well, the obvious one is that with fewer supporters, I get less money. It’s not significant enough to affect my bills, but it’s still ingrained him be that how much money I make is a demonstration of my ‘value’ as a person. So, yeah, that hit hard. But that’s not really it, is it? That’s just the thing I can hang the ‘blame’ on. You know: it’s societies fault, it’s other people’s fault, it’s everyone other than me’s fault. All the things we tell ourselves so we don’t need to do anything to fix the problem. So, why did it hit so hard? In the end, it’s a case of “why isn’t what I’m doing just enough to give me what I want” and some “losing track of why I’m writing”. Or possibly, having to reevaluate why I’m writing and change how I do things. One thing I did do, is ask a question to my supporters about what they were looking for from me. If you want to look at it, and tell me what I could post there that would make you join my Patreon, feel free to do so: https://www.patreon.com/posts/what-are-you-in-75409174 any and all information will only serve to help me figure out how to proceed with my Patreon. I did have 2 people there already give me an answer, so thank you to them. Unfortunately, one isn’t as helpful as the person giving it and the others requires a conversation with them to parse what they mean, and how/if I can incorporate that in my process. The discussion is on the post, should you want to take a look at it. The difficult part in all of this is that I have to make changes. I have to look at what is going on and decide what I need to do about it. Yes, there are outside factors involved, but I can’t do much about those, so I need to work on adjusting how I do things in relations to them. Have I mentioned before how much I hate having to do work that isn’t directly writing? So yeah. I had a bad day, and you get a journal out of it… so that’s a win? I will do my best to keep you appraised of the development, but do yourself a favor, don’t hold your bre4ath. I’d like to have readers left alive by the time I work through this. If you want to support me, You can do so through my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kindar and by buying my books, Sylvain-St-Pierre’s Author page And with that. I, will wish you a good day.

Posted using PostyBirb

#journal

[marriagemyth]

7 Best Healthy Relationship Tips

You've probably heard the statistic that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. If you're in a marriage or even just dating someone, you may be wondering if that will be your relationship that ends in divorce. You may also be wondering how you can prevent a marriage from going that route - or even a relationship from going downhill as well! Well, to start out, you should follow these healthy relationship tips to make sure your relationship is on the right path. The more you make sure of that, the better off you'll be. So what are you waiting for...start reading this healthy relationship guide!

1. Communicate Always

We are sure you've heard that you should always communicate and that communication is key. This couldn't be more true for relationships. Without communication, problems will almost always arise. In fact, lack of communication is one of the leading causes of divorce. For instance, if you get upset at your partner for doing something and don't communicate it, how are they going to know that you were ever upset? However, you may feel that they should know and when they do it again, your frustration and resentment only grow. As this continues to occur without communicating in the proper way, problems will only get bigger and bigger. There is no discussion about values, expectations, or frustrations so the other partner can never fix anything they are doing. It's unfair to expect a lot from a partner without communicating. However, there's more to communicating than just your voice. You also communicate nonverbally through your language, tone of voice, and body language. That's why communicating in person is super important, and text messages and phone calls should be avoided as much as possible (although this isn't always possible).

2. Respect Boundaries

Another important aspect of a healthy relationship is respecting the boundaries of the other person. If someone tells you that they like this or that or need this or that, it's important to respect that. When you don't respect boundaries, this can become overwhelming for the other person as well as overbearing at some points. So what are typical boundaries that you might set in a relationship? Here are a few: - Wanting some alone time on Sundays to do a typical 'you' activity like going on a walk, running errands, reading a book, or playing video games - Giving space to process information after discussing and communicating before expecting a response (some people need more time to think things through) - Not wanting a TV in the bedroom These are just a few examples of what setting boundaries may look like, but there are many other ways to set boundaries as well! But when someone does this, the boundaries need to be respected by your partner. That is what ensures that you have a healthy relationship.

3. Arguing Isn't Always Bad

There have probably been times throughout your life when you've been told that arguing is bad. That is not true, though. Arguing can be good as long as that is constructive. The most important takeaway from this healthy relationship is to know how to argue. Arguing can often lead to constructive conversations that can help move the relationship forward. To do this, physical closeness actually helps. That means holding hands, sitting really close together, and talking in person can help make arguments more productive rather than get emotionally heated.

4. Always Make Time for Your Relationship

Your relationship may not be your only priority. But it should be one of your top priorities. Well dealing with your kids or staying late at work may happen from time to time, but you still need to prioritize your relationship, especially in times when you are being pulled in multiple directions. This will help keep the communication open and your relationship thriving. Here are a few ideas to help you prioritize your relationship: - Set aside one date per month ahead of time to block off just for you and your partner - Make 9:30 pm and after relationship time to either be intimate, have important conversations, or just be together without distractions Make sure that you have conversations to talk about what quality time looks like to each of you!

5. Focus on Financial Security From the Get-go

Many relationships struggled because of financial disagreements. To avoid this, you want to make sure you are financially secure from the get-go when you first get married. Even if you are not a millionaire or have a ton of money in the bank, as long as you have a plan and stick to it, that's what matters. The last thing you want is to let the debt grow. If it is, you need to have conversations about this consistently to come up with a plan to figure out how to decrease it.

6. Support Each Other

A healthy relationship supports one another in every aspect of their lives. This means you support their goals and dreams, their career, and their future plans. You have to be on the right page for the future as well as in the present to show the right amount of support that makes the other person feel valued and respected in the relationship.

7. Do the Little Things

Another great way to keep a healthy relationship is to focus on the small things. These small things can grow into much bigger things to show that you care and value your partner. This could be getting flowers on your way home, surprising your partner with a home-cooked meal when they get home from work or helping them with a project on the weekends.

Follow These Healthy Relationship Tips

Whether you are in a relationship now or hope to be in one in the future, following these healthy relationship tips will ensure that you are getting ahead with communication, support, and quality time spent together. Relationships are hard work! But you can make it easier on yourself with coaching or marriage counseling. Are you ready to get started? You can contact me to help you through it all!   Read the full article

#dating #relationship