#no escaping the unwound future sadness

[gilded-7]

man thinking about ranlayclaire has given me a great idea for an UF au:

Clive, whilst researching everything he can about the professor in preparation to play the role of his apprentice, stumbles upon an article about one Randall Ascot, archaeology enthusiast and man of abundant wealth. He decides that Randall is an excellent candidate to kidnap into the future; having him would be a useful bargaining chip should things go wrong with the professor, and if nothing else his riches and status could prove useful to Clive’s plans.

What Clive doesn’t count on is Claire. Conducting her own investigation of Future London’s research facility, she stumbles upon Randall, a man she’s never met but knows all too well. She recognises him from the faded photographs that hung in Hershel’s flat, and from tipsy, late night conversations about the past, regret, and lost friends (read: loves).

Randall, who’d been biding his time whilst he thought up an escape plan, is more than happy to go with her - he may not know her in return but anyone close with Hershel is someone he could trust (it also helps that she seems to have a keen eye for puzzles). With his sharp mind, Randall is already wise to the fact that this Future London is not all that it seems, so the duo form an unlikely partnership to solve its mysteries.

The two form a strong bond, sharing in troubled pasts, even joking about their situations as the ‘undead lovers of Hershel Layton’. Randall’s heart aches for Claire knowing that she won’t get the same second chance at life he’d been given. He promises to do everything he can to help settle things so that she can return to her time knowing that the future is safer.

When the professor and the rest of the gang eventually meet up with the duo they are of course surprised to find that Randall is also in Future London. They don’t reveal everything they know for risk of jeopardising the investigation, cautious that ‘Future Luke’ is still accompanying them. Randall is somewhat surprised when Claire introduces herself as ‘Celeste’ however. He understands her wanting to avoid putting Hershel through any more pain, but encourages her to be honest with him so that they can enjoy their remaining time together. When they find the time to meet with the professor alone they reveal everything to him, and the three begin working on a plan to defeat both Dimitri and Clive, and ensure the safety of both Londons.

For the rest of their adventure together the three grow even closer. For the professor it’s a chance to reconnect with his two favourite people. In the case of Randall it’s the most time they’ve spent together since the events at Monte D’Or, and with the complicated feelings from the Masked Gentleman incident given time to heal they fall seamlessly back into their old friendship. Claire is the perfect addition to their dynamic; Hershel is of course already head over heels for her, and she and Randall get on like they’d been friends for years. He supposes it makes sense given their many similarities, both bold and confident, intelligent and inquisitive, shared terrible sense of humour and no, Hershel Layton does not have a type. He’s not sure what to make of what the three of them have, especially given the strange circumstances, but he knows it puts a warmth in his chest he’d been lacking for a while. If only they had more time to see what could happen.

When Claire’s inevitable departure finally arrives it happens much the same, though this time an additional heart is broken in the fallout. Randall, much like Hershel, had grown to love Claire deeply and had cherished the time they’d all spent together, however brief and unusual it was. She kisses each of them in turn before joining their hands, happy that the future is secure and that her boys will have each other. As she walks away, Hershel cradles his top hat to his chest with a pained smile and tears in his eyes. Randall simply stays there beside him, clinging tightly to the hand still entwined with his.

#help i made myself feels things #this ended up being angstier than planned #no escaping the unwound future sadness #assumed mutual pining teenage ranlay bc thats basically canon in my brain at this point #professor layton #ranlayclaire #ranlay #layclaire #ranclaire #hershel layton #claire foley #randall ascot #unwound future spoilers #miracle mask spoilers #UF randall au #gilded-writing

[blurredlandscape]

AS IF THEY EVER COULD

They put the world between us

you and I

What a silly

Sad thing,

For its rotundness could never prevent us

From coming back together again

Earthly grains

Unwound in the spins of this new atmosphere

This marred, patchy landscape

And it's sculpted divergences

Could never hope to keep us from each other

One from the other

With salty lips

Like hands stroking

And, tongues stoking

These eternal fires

Lit between us

I hurt just to identify the sorrow

The infinite distance

Between the sky's of our eyes

And their blue, brown apartheid

As they try to reach each other

We are found reborn

Disowning the past molds of our robotic inventions

Our bodies inhabited by the robust programs of this society's

Ill-bred intentions

We'd escape this plane

Finally

Our souls no longer a stain

Upon the thoughts silently sustained

By a society's sad, silly

Pretensious pains

Their ideas have always mainly pertained

Not to our own understanding

This surreal, sublime romance in the making

But to the main chain

Linked against

And we broke it!

You and I

I and you

When we said "NO"

To the thoughts they thought had prevailed

Thinking they had thought all the relevant ones..

But they were as nothing,

Dim bulbs

Lighting their own foolish prescribed sameness

A pathway fraught with forks

We knew we had to pave our own way

To endure the heartache that would bring about

Eventually,

The intense realizations

Affecting the future sunrises

Within the deepest parts of our past sun settings

#i love this so much #poets on tumblr #twinflame #sunrise #sunsetting

[baby-grayson]

Kind Stranger|GBD|Part 6

Parts 1-5 Trigger Warning: I explain the accident that gave Kate her limp in this chapter, if that is material that would be sensitive for you I would suggest not reading. & FLUFF! Tags: @styles-dolan​ @evergreendolan​ @someonetogray​ @vintagedolan​ @prettyboydolan​ @dolansficsandpics​ @graysavant​ @baby-turtles​ A/N: I skipped the night in between parts 5 and 6 because I didn’t want to include smut in the middle of the fic. I allude to what happened but if you are interested let me know and I can write it as an “outtake”. Thank you again for reading, all your lovely comments warm my heart!

A dense mass moved toward Grayson’s chest. His eyes fluttered open, heavy with dreams and hazy memories of last night. Grayson bent his head down to kiss his sleepy partner on the top of her head before wrapping an arm around her body and bringing him closer to him. Kate curled into chest, laying her head on his bicep and wrapping a leg around his waist: knotting her sheets around them. Grayson slid a large, calloused hand over her thigh before cupping the area under her bum and bringing her even closer to him. He left his hand there and gently traced his thumb over her soft, delicate skin. Kate pulled her head up from his bicep and smiled softly at him, Grayson could barely make out the beautiful sight through his heavy eyelids. Kate nuzzled into Grayson’s neck, winding her arms around his upper body, looking to match every inch of his skin with hers. Grayson wrapped his free arm around her back, clutching at her body wearing his shirt. “Good Morning,” Kate’s voice was muffled from inside of Grayson’s chest. He smiled, flickering his eyes open wider, “Good Morning,” he leaned down to kiss the top of her head for a second time. Grayson’s heart swelled. This scene was his version of perfection: his own personal heaven. The early morning sunshine blinked through Kate’s bedroom window, laying perfect rays down on the sleepy couple. They were intertwined in a messy sheet, with a heavier blanket laying on the floor beside the bed. Kate’s sweet, citrus scent enveloped Grayson’s nose: triggering an inner blissful calm. His swollen heart nearly melted when Kate lifted her head up: layers of shiny, soft, dark hair covered parts of her face, her cheeks plump and pink with sleep, and an adoring, hazy look in her eyes. Kate’s eyes diverted from Grayson’s gaze momentarily. She looked toward the ground, at the blanket strewn on the floor. She bit her lip softly, last night filling her head. She blushed a deeper shade of pink, Grayson noticed this and took it as his cue to kiss her forehead and tighten his grasp around her. “You look good in my shirt,” his continued to thumb her thighs. “You look good in my bed,” Kate’s eyes shined up at him, Grayson couldn’t distinguish the naughty, knowing gaze from the remnants of her angelic, dreamy face. Grayson chuckled lowly; his voice still hoarse from waking up. Grayson’s eyes quickly darted down toward the foot of the bed, where he noticed movement. Grayson’s eyes found Kate’s bad foot twitching and flicking the edge of their sheet. He looked back at the ethereal figure in his arms and bit his lip tight between his front teeth. “Are you feeling okay?” Is that what he should ask? Is that how you ask that? Grayson clenched his jaw, trying to stop thoughts about what kind of pain she might be in to illicit that physical response. Kate nodded, “Yeah, I am—” she escaped Grayson’s shoulder to look up at his face, finding his eyes stuck on her leg. “Oh yeah that”, she thoughtlessly let a soft sigh leave her mouth. “You don’t have to talk about it,” Grayson started, growing concerns that he was invading her mental space. Even though he invaded her other space last night. Kate, becoming more awake by the minute, shook her head—wisps of dark hair dancing around her ears. “No, it’s okay. Really.” She smiled softly at him, noticing the tentative look on his face. This conversation was never easy for her; having a tall, dark, handsome man in her bed did not make it any easier. Kate sat up, releasing her hold on Grayson. Grayson unwound his arms from around her, silently sad to not be holding her anymore. His thumb already missed the feeling of her skin. Kate swung her leg in front of her. She traced her fingers along a cluster of thick, knotty scars that decorated her left foot, ankle, and faded into the middle of her shin. Grayson drank in the scene: her angelic figure, entranced by the early morning sunlight, and draped his old t-shirt juxtaposed against avenues of rubbery, jagged, surgical flesh. “I was fifteen,” Kate started but they didn’t meet each other’s eyes. She continued to stroke the scars with soft fingers while Grayson set mesmerized by the dance of her hand against her leg. “I was riding my bike, I was coming home from a friend’s house. I remember the sun was going down so I was trying to get home fast.” Her fingers stopped. Grayson looked up, awoken from his hypnotic state, to find her eyes closed. He saw her chest rise and fall from under his shirt before she continued. “I was going down this big hill, trying to take a shortcut home when—when I got hit.” Her shoulders fell and curled towards her knee. “It was a drunk driver—or at least, that’s what the police said. I don’t remember it. They don’t know how long I was laying on the ground before someone found me.” Grayson didn’t realize his mouth was hanging over. He struggled to find words or actions. He didn’t know what to say, ‘I’m sorry’ sounded pathetic. Grayson’s teeth sank into his bottom lip. The pair sat there, frozen in that moment in time. Kate hunched over her mangled leg, fraught with the memories of a traumatic accident. Grayson grasping at invisible words and feelings, failing to hold onto a sentiment for long enough to let it escape his lips. Kate broke their silence first, speaking more to herself than Grayson. “In a weird way, I’m almost happy it happened,” her voice stayed just above a whisper. “That day I realized, if I’m going to be on the planet—I want to do something good for this planet.” She pulled her hand away from her leg, tanging it in her hair instead. She started to sit up but was haphazardly shifted when Grayson’s large arms enveloped her. Their heads graced the foot of the bed, nearly completely shifted from where they began the morning. Grayson’s heartbeat comforted Kate. She wrapped her arms against him again, using her fingers to trace shapes into his back and biceps. Grayson held her like she was a newborn baby: fragile and in need of protection, but precious and special. His sleepy brain could not fathom the depth of his emotions; respect, adoration, sadness, gratitude, and pride swam through his head. They stayed like that, in that same position for another moment in time. Grayson was unsure whether he fell asleep again or surrendered to his emotions. He kissed the top of Kate’s head and pulled himself away from their embrace to look at her face: round, jovial, and beautiful. “This is my shirt now,” her voice held a sureness foreign to this moment. A hearty laugh escaped Grayson’s throat. He smiled down at her. “You can have it,” he winked mindlessly, “I have plenty more.” She toyed with her fingers in his hair, brushing unruly locks past his ear. “I’m sure you have so many with your own face on them,” she laughed with a light airy tone, only partially kidding. She raised an eyebrow when Grayson nodded subtly, “And socks, sweatshirts, bikinis, swim trucks, hats, charm bracelets—” her loud laugh interrupted him. “And at what point in our relationship will you give me the uniform?” She laughed through her words, missing Grayson’s pupils dilate, and a lop-sided grin appear when she said, ‘our relationship’. Grayson was glad she laughed at her own joke, it gave him time to snap out of his romantic state. “I’ll talk to management about getting you sized and fitted,” they shared a quick, sweet kiss at the end of this last word. Kate wiggled out of his grasp, tossing her legs over the side of the bed. “I need a shower,” she declared matter of factly. Grayson turned onto his side, shifting his weight on his elbow to continue to drink her in, “I thought you took a shower last night.” “That was before you dirtied me up,” Kate gave him a knowing stare and stood up, stretching slightly and looking down at him. Her heart sang to see his gorgeous, sleepy form enraptured by her sheets. “I’ll go get clean; you find a breakfast place.” Grayson nodded in agreement while she floated out of the room. Grayson sat on the edge of the bed, in his underwear, and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure if he was groggy or just intoxicated with her—with last night, this morning, and the future. While Kate hummed from the shower, Grayson found quick mix in a cabinet and made pancakes in the tiny kitchen of her one-bedroom apartment. He set a table with some disposable plates and felt his heart fly when she left the bathroom. She wore his shirt and pulled her hair into a bun. The kitchen smelled like maple syrup and budding romance. The ate, talked, and got lost in each other’s eyes. The morning couldn’t last forever though, as Kate bargained with Grayson to give her the afternoon so she could study. Grayson, utterly confused about what grad school really was, begrudgingly agreed. They stood in her doorway, a hazy picture of how last night started. She kissed him sweetly, thanking him for breakfast. Grayson embraced her, basking in her scent. “One thing,” Grayson started, his palms starting to sweat again. “I really like you, and I’m glad we’re doing this but—” That wasn’t a good way to start this “I would appreciate it if you kept us to yourself for now.” Kate furrowed her brow and pulled back from his arms, “Okay? I will?” Grayson nodded quickly, exhaling between his words, “It’s just with my career…privacy is an important thing. Ya know?” Of course she didn’t know this was all knew to her. Kate kissed his cheek and nodded, “My lips are sealed.” Grayson thumbed her shoulder and rolled his eyes playfully, “Now don’t do that to me.” He kissed her head quickly before saying goodbye. He walked to his car shirtless, wanting to always be able to see her in his shirt. Kate leaned against her front door after shutting it. What did she just get herself into? Grayson danced through his front door, throwing his keys down and greeting his twin brother with a bright smile. Ethan looked up at his beaming, shirtless, and giddy brother. Ethan raised his eyes when he made eye contact with Grayson. Grayson didn’t need twin telepathy to guess what Ethan was thinking. “I really like her,” Grayson started, putting his hands on the back of a dining chair and shrugging slightly. His face was dressed in a goofy smile and puppy dog eyes. Ethan wanted to be happy for Grayson, he really did, but he just wasn’t convinced that his brother was handling this smartly. “So she finds out you have money and a platform, and then sleeps with you that same day?” Grayson recoiled, leaning his weight into the chair and pushing his heels into the ground. He shook his head, “We didn’t have sex.” Ethan recoiled slightly, looking his brother up and down. “Then why did you spend the night? And why are you shirtless?” “We did other stuff…” Grayson’s voice puttered out toward the end, completely different from his usual booming tone. “What are you? Like 15?” Ethan’s confusion sounded judgmental coming out of his lips. He witnessed the some of the cheer leave Gray’s eyes. Ethan’s mind wandered back to the previous afternoon, when he met a petite girl with long hair who gave his brother doe eyes. Ethan wondered internally what about that girl made his brother melt. Or maybe it was just the fact that there was A girl. Grayson sensed his brother’s skepticism and filled in with, “I really like her. I more than like her, I respect her E. She’s smart, and funny, and kind. She has a purpose in life.” Grayson’s voice grew louder with eve word. “I can see myself with her. I want myself with her. She’s different…You don’t meet girls like her every day.” Ethan crossed his arms in his chair, trying his best to let Grayson’s word convince him. He gnawed at his lip slowly and looked up at his brother when Grayson started again, “I think you’d really like her if you got to know her. Let’s do something together—the three of us. I promise you’ll like her.” A/N: Thank you for making it to the end! I know not much happened in this part, but I woke up inspired and still thinking about Part 5 so I wrote this in a rush of excitement. I hope you enjoyed. As always, I appreciate any kind of commentary!

#grayson #grayson dolan #ethan #ethan dolan #banana #banana squad #if you know you know #dolan twin #dolan twins #youtuber #fanfic #fanfiction #romance #grayson X OC #Saturday

[avengerscompound]

My Wife

My Wife: A Captain America Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  2812

Rating:  E

Square filled: @star-spangled-bingo​ - Free Space, @happystevebingo​ - Wedding

Warnings:  Mentions of Pregnancy, Smut (M|F, oral sex, vaginal sex), there is the mention of daddy kink in this, but not actual daddy kink.  More like them saying it exists.

Synopsis:  It’s your wedding and Steve is completely and utterly delighted.

My Wife

You stood just out of view of the garden, while your bridesmaids fussed around you.  They tugged on the lace of your dress trying to get it to fall just right.  They adjusted the pins in your hair so your veil fell over your face and didn’t ruin your pull any stray strands out of place.  Pepper and Laura tried to keep Morgan and Nathaniel under control.  Morgan wore white with a bright yellow sash and Pepper was trying to get her to take the basket of flower petals when what she really wanted was to take the little stuffed bear of Nathaniel that had your wedding bands tied to it.

“You look beautiful,” Laura said as Nate swung off her arm.  That dress is stunning.  Vintage was such a good choice.

Your bridesmaid handed you your bouquet of sunflowers and daisies.  Steve had shown up with sunflowers on your first date and had never once given you a typical romantic bouquet.  Rather going for bright flowers that lit up a room.  He said they reminded him of you.  “Thank you.”  You said.  “And thank you again for letting us borrow, Nate.”

“Of course.  You can keep him if you like.”  She joked.

“Mommy!”  Nathaniel whined and you and Pepper both started laughing.

“Shall we do this?”  Your maid-of-honor asked.

“Ready when you are,”  You said taking a deep breath.

Pepper and Laura led the way with the children.  As you got closer you could hear the harp getting louder and louder.

The chatter of the crowd stopped and Pepper and Laura sent the kids down the aisle between the chairs in the garden.  The yellow and white petals that Morgan threw out contrasted against the pink petals that had been dropped from the trees in blossom that hung over the garden.

Your bridesmaids went next, walking one at a time toward the arch where Steve stood with Thor, Bucky, Sam, and Tony.

Your dad looked at you and smiled. “Are you ready?”

“For this?  I have been for a long time now.”  You said.

You stepped out into the aisle and the music changed, the harpist switching to ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’.  You walked down towards Steve and his face lit up and his hand went to his mouth.  Your heart was racing as you took each step, closer and closer to your husband-to-be.  Steve was wearing a black, double-breasted suit, with a light blue tight and a blue orchid in his lapel.  Next to him stood Bucky.  His suit the same color and cut but he wore a pale purple tie with lilacs in his lapel.  He’d had his hair cut and was clean-shaven.  You weren’t sure he’d ever seen him clean-shaven before.  Beside Bucky was Sam who’s had a red tie with a poppy in his buttonhole.  Finally, there was Tony.  He looked the most comfortable in his suit.  His tie was a dark purple and he had a hyacinth boutonniere.

As you got closer to Steve you noticed his eyes were pricked with tears but the smile he wore seemed stuck in place.  The happiness and love radiated off him like heat off a fire.   Your father pushed your veil back and kissed your cheek and you stepped up in front of Steve and took his hands.

Thor moved into position with a large smile on his face.  “Friends!”  He called out and a rumble of thunder filled the air.  “We are all here amidst all this nature to bear witness to the joining of these two people in marriage.  We are all small creatures in this vast universe.  To find such love is a blessing and they have asked you all to witness their bond today.”

He looked over at Natasha and beckoned her forward.  “Natasha is here to do a reading called ‘Marriage is not Beautiful.”

Natasha got up and took the microphone, clearing her voice and looking out at the group of friends and family who had come to share this day with you both.   “Marriage is ugly, you see the absolute worst in someone.”  She read.  “You see them when they’re mad, sad, being stubborn, when they’re so unlovable they make you scream.  But you also get to see them when they are laughing so hard that tears run down their face, and they can’t help but let out those weird gurgling noises.  You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you’re eating in the middle of the kitchen floor.  You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it’s not always pretty. It's snorting while laughing, it’s the tears when it feels like it’s all crashing down, it’s the farting, it’s the bedhead and bad breath, it’s the random dances, it’s the anger and the joy.  Marriage isn’t a beautiful thing, but it is amazing.  It’s knowing that someone loves you so much, and won’t leave you even though you said something nasty.  It’s having someone have your back no matter what.  It’s fights over stupid things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves.  And it’s those nights you fall asleep in each other’s arms, feeling like there will never be enough time with them.  It’s cleaning up their vomit, or just rubbing their back when they’re sick.  It’s the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding job there is.  Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know.  Marriage is not beautiful, but it’s one heck of a ride.”

She took a seat to a round of soft applause and laughter and Thor stepped up again.  He brought out a cord of gold and began to bind your hands as you held Steve’s hands crossed over.

“Before you make your vows, I want to hear you each confirm that it is your intention to be married today.  Do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?”  Thor asked.

“I do,”  You and Steve spoke at once.

As Thor began to wind the cord around your hands you spoke.  “These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as we promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.”

Steve took over.  “These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together we build our future.”

A crackle of electricity passed around the cord as Thor continued to wind it around your hands.  “These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.”  You said.

Tears pricked Steve’s eyes as he spoke again.  “These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.”

“These are the hand that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.”  You continued.

“These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children,”  Steve said, and you felt your own conviction break, as a stray tear escaped and ran down your cheek.

“These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.”

“These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.”

There was a crackle and flash of lightning.  “And lastly; these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”  Thor finished.  “As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.  This bond is not formed by these cords, but rather by the love you have for each other.  For always you hold in your own hands the fate of this union.  Above you are stars and below you is earth.  Like stars, your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.”

He unwound your hands and Bucky took the rings from the little stuffed bear and handed them to each of you.  “Your wedding rings are the outward visible sign of the inward invisible bond which unites your two souls in love.  The perfect circle of the ring symbolizes eternity. The precious metal came from the ground as a rough ore and was heated and purified, shaped and polished. Something beautiful was made from raw elements. Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It is the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.”  Thor said and turned to Steve.  “As you place the ring on her finger, repeat these words after me;”

As he next spoke Steve echoed his words as he slipped the ring on your finger. “I give you this ring.  Wear it in love and joy.  As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

Thor then turned to you.  “Place this ring on his finger and repeat these words after me;”

You did the same, slowly sliding the titanium band onto Steve’s ring finger as you looked into his eyes.  “I give you this ring.  Wear it with love and joy.  As this ring has no end, my love is also forever.”

“May the wedding rings you exchanged today remind you always that you are surrounded by an enduring love,”  Thor said.  “Friends, I invite you all to congratulate these two souls now they have been joined and they seal their vows with a kiss.”

Steve dipped you as you kissed, slowly and tenderly, to the applause of your loved ones.  For a moment there was no one else, just you and Steve, totally and helplessly in love as you kissed.

You signed the paperwork and posed for photos around the gardens as everyone else went inside for cocktails.  As you walked around hand in hand Steve stopped you and pulled you close to him.  “You look so beautiful.”  He whispered.

“You scrub up pretty nicely yourself, Rogers.”  You teased.

He chuckled and kissed you.  When he pulled back he looked into your eyes.  “How were you feeling today?  That bug still hanging around?”

“Yeah, still a bit sick.  I’m okay though.  Good, now we’re here.”  You answered.

“I didn’t think I’d get to have this.”  He said, leaning his forehead against yours.

“You get to have everything, Steve.  The whole happy ending.”  You assured him.  He kissed you again.  The buzz click of the photographers capturing the moment didn’t bother you one bit.

You were taken to a private room away from the rest of the guests so you could just have a moment together before being announced again to the reception.   Steve locked the door and smirked at you.

“Hello there, my wife.”  He teased, stalking toward you.

“Steve!”  You yelped.

“Yes, my love.”  He said, guiding you back to the couch.  He carefully smoothed out your skirt and pushed you so you were sitting down.  He dropped to his knees and lifted the many layers of skirt up.

“What’s gotten into you?”  You asked, a little shocked at how brazen he was being.

“I don’t know.  I just know I have to have you.”  He said and kissed the inside of your thigh.  “You’re my wife.”

“I am, but you’re going to go out there with my vagina all over your face.”  You teased.

Steve laughed.  A deep and genuine laugh.  “That’s okay.  It’s my wife’s vagina.  It’s allowed.”

You completely lost it laughing and he disappeared under your skirts.  You smoothed them down so the only thing visible was Steve’s legs poking out from under them.  He pushed your panties to the side and he began to lap slowly at your cunt, his tongue flat and using as much pressure as he could.  You let your head fall back with your eyes closed, moaning gently, and without even meaning to you pushed your hips up against his face.

He pushed two fingers inside you and with practiced ease, found your g-spot and began stroking it firmly with his fingertips.  As he did, he sucked your clit into his mouth and flicked his tongue over it.  You began to pant and you thrust your fist into your mouth to muffle your moans.  Heat swirled through you and your legs began to tremble.  “Steve, Steve.”  You murmured.  “I’m gonna come.”

He squeezed your thigh and moved his hand faster.  You jerked up under him and moaned, clenching your teeth as your orgasm shuddered through you.

Steve climbed out from under your skirt, panting heavily and climbed up onto the couch.  You leaned over and started kissing him hungrily as you unbuckled his pants.  When you pulled his cock free you stood up, gathered your skirts up and stepped over his lap.  He slid his hands up the insides of your legs as you lowered yourself down and shifted your panties to the side as he guided his cock inside of you.

You started to rock your hips against him and put your hands on his shoulders.  “You look so handsome in this suit, Steve.”

He smiled and kissed along your neck and down to your cleavage.  “You look so beautiful.  I thought I was going to cry.”  He said and then blushed a deep red.

“What dirty little thought passed through your head then, darling husband?”  You teased.

“Your breasts look amazing.  Bigger even.”  He chuckled.

You stifled a laugh.  “Oh, kiss me, you old flattered.”

He cupped your jaw with both hands and pulled you into a deep kiss.  You swiped your tongue over your lips, tasting yourself on him.  As you bounced in his lap you could feel an orgasm building but it wouldn’t quite break.  You increased your speed, bouncing harder and faster.

“Slow down, sweetheart,”  Steve whispered.

“I can’t… I need to…”

He gripped the back of your neck and pulled you closer to him.  His free hand went under your skirt, his fingers finding your clit and rolled over it.  “I’ve got you, my love.”  He breathed.  He started kissing your neck and gently nipping at your skin.  You slowed your pace and as you did your orgasm washed over you.

Steve pulled his hand away and wrapped his arms around you, pressing his body tightly against yours as he rested his head against your breasts.  He started to thrust in time with you and with a sudden jerk, he came.

You went to climb off of him but he held onto you and looked deep into your eyes.  “I am so glad we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.  I love you so much, my wife.”

You hummed and kissed him gently.  It was now or never.  “I love you too, daddy.”

Steve’s face screwed up in distaste.  “Is that a kink thing?”  He asked as he lifted you off his lap and began to clean himself up.  “Because if so, I am not a fan.”

You broke down into giggles.  “No.  It’s not.  Maybe that came out wrong.  Let’s try again.  You said; I love you so much, my…”

He looked at you confused as he zipped up his pants.  “Wife.”

“Which is accurate.  And then I said; I love you too, daddy.”  You said and placed his hand on your stomach.

His eyes went wide. “Sweetheart?”

“Yes?”

“You’re pregnant?”  He asked.  His eyes started to shimmer with tears that weren’t quite ready to break.

“I am.”

His fingers moved back and forth along your stomach.  “How long have you known?”

“I found out this morning.”

“Is that why you were sick?”

“It was.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment.  He stood and picked you up, spinning you around and holding you close.  “I’m going to be a dad?”

“You are.”  You agreed, laughing and hugging him.

“Sweetheart,”  He said, putting you back on your feet.  “This was already the happiest day of my life.  How did you just make it even better?”

You smiled and leaned up and kissed his cheek.  “I told you.  You get to have everything.”

He cradled your jaw and kissed you deeply.

There was a knock at the door and Steve reluctantly pulled back and opened the door.  Your wedding planner stood there with a clipboard.  “Are you ready?”  She asked.

“Yeah, we’re ready,”  Steve said, still smiling broadly.

She led you down the hall and had you wait at the doors to the Palm House.  A moment later you heard Thor on the microphone.  “Friends!”  He called.  “If you would all stand and welcome for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Steven Rogers.”

Steve smiled at you as the doors opened, and the two of you went in to celebrate your new lives together as a family.

#happystevebingo #starspangledbingo #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #fluff #my wife

[lilnasxvevo]

wolf953 replied to your post

“ive read liiike upwards of 10 neal shusterman books at this point (ive...”

I've only read Challenger Deep, and I keep meaning to read more of his work but I found myself easily distracted from Scythe (so I didn't finish it). I think his prose was different in his spec fic from his non-spec fic? So I don't know if I would like Unwind... Do you have any thoughts/opinions/recs that are more like CD?

hmmmgh i remember when i was reading Challenger Deep i was thinking “wow this is really different from all his other books” but i also think that for. most books by him that i’ve read to some extent. I have not read Scythe and I don’t know anything about it. (I have read: The Schwa Was Here, Antsy Does Time, Everlost, Everwild, Unwind, Unwholly, The Eyes of Kid Midas, Challenger Deep, Bruiser, and...probably a couple more, I can’t remember how many I read out of the two series I’ve read from). 

Here’s what I got:

The Schwa Was Here is his funniest book

14 year old Antsy Bonano is a regular smartass kid who gets swept up in trying to help Calvin Schwa, a functionally invisible boy in his grade. Hijinks ensue but also sadness lol

Bruiser is sad and wistful and has clever dialogue and a lot to say about the power of love and has a lot of the same Challenger Deep vibe

I tried to come up with a description for this book but all I came up with was AAAAAA because I love it so much. There are two smartass high schooler twins whose parents are breaking up, and one of the twins starts dating a boy who everyone thinks is Trouble. But what’s the real reason he keeps to himself and shows up covered in bruises? It’s partially what you think, and partially nothing you’d ever expect. Though The Schwa Was Here is the funniest Shusterman book, this one is probably my favorite.

The Eyes of Kid Midas has a lot of the same surreal dreamlike qualities that Challenger Deep had going on

Do you ever find a pair of magic sunglasses and go drunk with power and almost destroy reality and also you’re a seventh grader? Well, have I got the book for you! To be honest, I don’t remember this one very well, but I do recall the ending packs quite the punch.

The Everlost books (the Skinjacker trilogy, technically) are very Challenger Deep in that caught-between-realities feel and they might be your best bet for matching the tone

It’s literally about kids who are dead and caught between worlds and that is the whole story. They are very creepy and there’s weird body horror a lot. If you’ve ever read May Bird and the Ever After, you kinda get what this series is like.

The UnWind books are so fucking creepy but like so unforgettably good.

It has the most intentionally bonkers premise and I love it so much. America got into an actual civil war (another one) over abortion and at the peace talks one person just really wanted everyone to realize how ridiculous they were being and said “What if we can’t abort fetuses in the womb, but after the children are born we can abort them retroactively up to age 16?” AND EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE YUP, SOUNDS GOOD. And they decide that if you “unwind” someone and then use like at least 99% of their body parts in other people (organ transplants and the like--transplants are very advanced in this near-future story, so it’s easier to, like, give an amputee an actual new arm than a prosthetic) then THEY’RE NOT REALLY DEAD, THEIR SOUL IS JUST “UNWOUND” AND STRETCHED AMONG ALL THE PEOPLE IN WHOM THEY STILL LIVE ON. So most of the main characters in these books are kids who found out they were going to be Unwound, escaped their fates just in time, and are on the run. These books are very depressing. Kinda Hunger Games meets Handmaid’s Tale. But they are very, very good. There’s a Frankensteined boy named Camus in book 2 or 3 somewhere who I still think about ALL the damn time.

Those are...my thoughts! If I did not answer all or indeed any of your questions feel free to ask me MORE QUESTIONS.

#wolf953

[partytrickparker]

Eyes That Shine Like Stars (Peter Parker x Reader)

Hey guys! So this is the Angst ™ fic I’ve been chattering about, and I’m just really excited to show it! I also love writing Peter in pain, it’s fun to do as a writer ANYWAYS! Hope you enjoy! 

Summary: In which Peter’s universe shatters.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: ANGST!, lol you die 

Her eyes had always been stars.

They had always been swirling galaxies on Earth, gates to the universe and beyond. When you were happy, they could outshine the Sun, beaming and full of warmth. When you laughed, they twinkled like a perfect midnight sky. Just by looking at you, he could find himself worlds away, swept up and out by those eyes.

The two of you had been planets, dancing in orbit around each other. Happy. Perfect. Together. Him and you, you and him. Against the world, side by side, never apart. Hopes, futures, smiles, stars. Sucked into a black hole. He remembered it, still. After all these years.

The day he first went to the moon and back.

There’s a funny thing about the world. It spins, and spins, and spins on its axis, moved by laws and gravity and science. But every so often, for two people, it will rest.

Peter didn’t focus on the silenced hush of the school. Or the way the books falling from your hand seemed to freeze halfway to crashing to the floor. Or the way the flow of students slowed to a crawl. He only saw you, raising your head to see who bumped into you, face already posed into the image of irritation. He focused on your lips tugged slightly into a frown, smears of pink against your skin before they parted to speak. He was drawn to the way your eyes flashed with annoyance, but still glowed with amusement as they met his. The way your hair flipped back from your face to settle back upon your chest, and framed a single cocked eyebrow. It was only after you finally spoke, causing the world to snap back to speed, that he realized where he had gone. Somewhere far away: somewhere fantastical.

“Do you mind?” you had said, with tinted cheeks that you hadn’t thought he would see. He had. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- here, let me-” he stumbled, crouching down to gather your things. You bent down before him, scooping up all the books in one sweep. “See? No harm done,” you had laughed. As he rose, you stuck your free hand out, an action poised as a question.

“Y/N L/N.”

“Parker Pete- I mean, Peter Parker,” he said, shakily, wrapping his hand in yours. He felt alive, wired, new.

Meeting your eyes once more, he saw hidden laughter, anticipation, softened edges. He saw where he had gone, finally: to the stars.

Shimmering cold and hot, they seemed to be immortal.

Peter could so clearly see all that was hidden behind those eyes. Secrets to paradise, bright thoughts, crackling lightning and life burning so hot it froze. He had seen it then, when he was so close, he could count the flecks of comets around your pupil. He could see it now, when he felt miles and planets and light years away. When he wanted nothing more than to float off into the cloudy sky. When even the glimpse of those once miraculous eyes make him want to scream; to cry, to vomit, to rage, to just-

If only he had just- if only you had just-

No.

You weren’t just. Despite everything, you still aren’t just.

What do you do, he thinks. What do you do when your world gets blown to pieces? What is there left to do? What can he still help with, what can he do to fix this, be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man? He stared at the bold red and blue of crumpled mask beside him. Mocking him. You’re a savior, brave and strong, it laughed.  A miracle-worker, it whispered.  A hero, it promised. No one, not even a savior, can escape the end. Bravery is blind stupidity. Miracles don’t exist. Heroes never have their happy ending, no matter what the stories say.

So what does he do? It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was supposed to fall apart gently. It was meant to be a big blazing fight, stormy eyes and hearts, slamming doors and glassy tears shattering against cheeks. It was going to be empty words of bitter lemons, and sour tones that dripped with acid. It was supposed to be distance, cheating, disconnect, sudden hate, how he would never answer her calls, how she would never trust him, anything. It was meant to be gradual, building to an end.  It was meant to start a new page, with phone calls of regret and “I’m sorry, I miss you, I love you”. It was meant to be welcoming hugs and apologizing kisses, grand gestures to fix the problem, finding the comfort and happiness once more. It was never supposed to end.

Stars don’t just wink out, leaving a pitch black empty space in the sky.

Do they?

He dropped forwards, shoulders pushed by the invisible weight the world. He was Atlas, keeping the sky from crumbling, but everything had already fallen, broken, powdered pieces beyond repair. He held up only himself; that alone was too much for him to bear. So he let it bury him. He caved inwards, folding like paper, wavering and flapping in the ashes.

For what was there to do, but end.

As coffee dates and long walks in a crisp breeze passed, he grew restless. How could he continue, without you knowing you what you were? Without you knowing who he was? Teasing shoves turned into tender embraces, leaning against each other to feel the shape of them; kitten kisses on the cheek and nose became subconscious presses on the lips, meaning more than you could say; “Idiot Parker” and “Smart-Ass Y/N” shifted to simply saying his name to feel it against your tongue. He needed you to know. It was a quiet day, insignificant. The two of you walked the streets of the city, talking about everything that meant something and nothing that did.

It was only a matter of time before nothing became the weight of the world.

He had said it all, in that moment where you sat side by side, on a leaf-covered rock in Central Park. Watching children run and parents scold, you thought of your future. He thought of the heavy present. As you turned to speak to him, to spill out your dreams that you hoped he shared into clean air, he spoke first. The first way he spoke was more to you than the words he said. It was the way his maple eyes dimmed, how the shoulders sank imperceptibly but not so you couldn’t see. The thicker cloud made by his dragging breath.

“Y/N. You need to know. Everything,” he said gently, avoiding inevitable bruises to be left on your heart. They never came.

You had felt the pressure of a chain around you, squeezing tighter and tighter on your insides. Death. Danger. Duty. Hero .Useless explanations, just sobs and sounds and hurt. Until you knew you had reached the limit and were about to burst into a million pieces, each one more jagged than the last.

Until.

“Y/N, I love you. My moon, my sun, my galaxy, you, are my everything. If the world ended right now, I would be happy, because I have another world next to me that means more to me than any suit, any duty, anything. Who needs the world when I have you, my entire universe?” he said.   He repeated it with the shine in his eyes, turning maple into brilliant copper. He yelled it to the world with the bumping cracks of his voice, choking with emotion. He whispered it against your lips, as you stopped him with yours.

Chains unwound. Pieces were mended.  You knew and you were hurt. But you were okay. You and Peter, you were always okay. You moved forward again, dancing towards futures and opportunities. Your eyes shone brightest then. One last spark. One last hurt.

But even stars burn out.

Flames fizzle into smoke. Okay doesn’t last. Sparks are short.

He brings himself back to the present, when all he wants to do is be lost, somewhere else, anywhere but in this moment. You couldn’t be. And yet you where. Your eyes, those glorious gates to promises of love and adventure, were empty. They were glassy orbs, shuttered and gone. Peter felt his heart break further, as he shook, with agony and anger, sadness and helplessness. You: your body, your hair, your lips- were stained with an ink that couldn’t be cleaned, sinking into your being wet and dark. There was so much. How much ink would he have? If he had been there in time.

If he had been enough.

He remembered but wanted to forget. Happiness, comfort, safety, love, trust, the feeling of paradise, were all so, so vivid now. He took each one as another wound on his skin, another crack of his heart, another type of pain. 

His body heaved and fell as each feeling and memory hit him, again and again and- Why hadn’t he been there, what was your future, who was he alone, where did you go, why did you leave, why didn’t you stay, why couldn’t he stay-

Peter clutched you tight, as if the beating of his heart and pulls of his lungs could bring yours back. He squeezed and clung, you were his life raft and he was drowning, drowning in together. Tears made the ink run on your shirt. Each drop cleared away dirt on your cheeks. It cleansed you and tainted him, each tear a painful reminder, another weight to bear.

He screamed.

Out into the cold, cloudy air, his voice leaving marks of clouds. He screamed and yelled until he had scraped his throat raw. It was all the secrets of his universe, the world being blown to smithereens, stars burning hot, so hot, they exploded. His heart still was too full, dragging him back down to you.

So he cried.

He sobbed and pulled until he felt his eyes burn, and his head pound. He grabbed fistfuls of his hair, clawed his face, rubbed his eyes red, pounded his chest, punched the rubble surrounding him until his fists blossomed with scarlet.

He swirled and scorched for eternities and seconds, fresh scars never healing, heart always hurting with holes that never filled, tears run dry as a desert, until -

He burnt out.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #angst #death #spider man #spiderman #sm:h #spider man: homecoming #tom holland #nes keysmashes

[yi-dashi-a]

//A disjointed follow on from this in fact. Not something I thought I would continue any time soon, but some imagery has just been swirling in my head. Sorry for bad writing though if you seek to venture below the read more. I honestly feel feverish right now. Gonna go sleepu.

  There’s still no context because I have never explained much about Yi’s parents, but ohhh wellll

Huan could think of nothing more exhilarating than the speed of a horse, and the whooshing by of people almost knocked off the street by its passing. So unabashed he was in the way he galloped the stallion through the capital of Shon-Xan, but in a way she reveled in the rebellion. He at least let her wear his hat while disturbing the peace so that the legend of trouble-making Wuju Masters would live on. It also gave her an excuse to giggle into his back and blame the bamboo later.

But eventually the air about her slowed, and the Wuju practitioner snatched his hat back. She made a playful grab for it in response, but before she could grasp the thing her eyes were filled with magnificent colour.

“Oh, Chao! You always know how to pick a vista. Such beauty.”

The rolling hills before them swooped down into sharp, white cliffs. The water, with the perfect dotting of distant boats, merged flawlessly from blue, to the white of the clouds, and then to their orange and pink highlights. The sun set in magnificence grace, finding a bed in those clouds just… perfectly. She’d seen the sun set every day of her life, but as she hugged about the waist of her distant pen-pal it always seemed so special.

“Such beauty indeed.” He offered with a small laugh, “I figured it was something we could do that didn’t cost me the pelts off my back. Admittedly I came here with no items to barter with. The grass is a bit wet here I think, but the horse needs to rest. He has taken me quite some distance, and I feel terribly for him. I’m sure he’ll like the wet grass combination, even if he can’t appreciate what he’s looking at.”

“Then why did you run him so hard, Wuju Master?”

“Why else but to see you?” Carefully he unwound from her embrace, and his feet met the ground once more, “That… sounds somewhat romantic. I…”

“Oh, let it be, Chao.” It was her turn to laugh aloud as she accepted his help down, “I know what you mean.”

As much as she’d deny him to others as a suitor or a partner, there were times when she could only entertain his inherently romanticised nature. He was a Wuju Master, after all. Surely many young women had dreamed of being spirited away by such a man, and yet he was here holding her hand, of all hands, and watching the sun find rest. They were friends before anything else though. Respectfully they breathed in the sunset, and respectfully they would continue to coexist into the future.

Because even if she would deny his suitorship, in her mind she always felt she wouldn’t get another. Emotions were fickle like that.

“… Have I ever told you that horse rides make my legs wobbly?” She mumbled in good humour, “I think I must sit. Even if it soaks my robes.”

“That is fair.” Chao nodded, “The sun will still set whether we stand or not.”

“Quite.” Huan near skipped away from his hold, sitting astutely at first upon the dewy grass, “Oh! And I must ask you. What brings you here all dressed in pelts and broad brimmed hats anyway?” However, when she saw the Master of grace and poise take a pause to consider her question, then unceremoniously dump himself upon the ground, she felt herself under no obligation to keep her back perfectly straight, “I… forgot to ask before now. The thrill of the ride and the view took my politeness away.”

“Well, uh…” Any energy he’d had from their journey all but melted away, much to Huan’s dismay. He was always so easy to bring down, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty every time she said the wrong thing, “Necessity. It would have been… complicated if I hadn’t left discreetly.” The mage cocked an eyebrow at the Master, and he need not have been asked to continue, “It… It truly is complicated. All that need be known is that… I was under strict instruction not to leave, but I left anyway.”

“Discretely? On your horse?”

“If I had run away I would have been caught, but even a Wuju Master cannot outrun a horse.”

“… You’re a sixty-year-old man, Chao.” She said with tone somewhat playful.

“And you say that every time I voice my grievances.” He replied, tone notably lacking that same playfulness, “What are you to say next? That a woman such as yourself has more freedom than a clan son? I really didn’t come all this way to be witness to more criticism.”

“Chao…”

The man flopped back in a flurry of dark sheep’s wool and goat pelts, his hat falling away to reveal a terse face that stared to the orange sky. It was easy to tell when the man was nervous, apart from the off-color remarks. His deep brown eyes always flickered about, as if he read some sort of scroll before himself that no one else could see, frantically scanning the words as if they would provide a calculated solution to his problems. When his moment of silence brought with it no justification for his actions, he merely said,

“… I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” She offered him in similarly hushed tones, “You just have to tell me what’s going on. You’re worrying me now.”

“I’m… not even sure where to begin.” Slowly he drew a hand down his face, and she hoped his brow was just wet with dew, “Things have simply been terrible, as they normally are I suppose. The oppression of my position leaves me particularly tense and stressful.”

“… Your Master is being overbearing even now?”

“I fear to think what my life would be like if it were he with the powers of mind and not myself…” He took another pause, with strain finding his face once again, “… Terrible. The only escape I have sometimes is within… and with you.”

Carefully Huan leaned over slightly, placing an immaculate mage’s hand upon his collar bone. For a moment the act seemed to snap him out of his agitated invisible readings, and in a way he tried to mimic her soothed features.

“You seem more troubled than usual, all of a sudden.” She spoke in coos and inoffensive tones, “Tell me everything you can. Lose it to the cliff side so that we can enjoy the rest of the sunset.”

The silence that came after was so palpable that Huan almost found herself tuning in on the munching of the horse as he rummaged around for the best grass. Guilt panged in her gut, almost making her lose her comforting expression. She was steadied only by the fact that she’d known the soundlessly anguishing man for years, and that she knew how these things went. He was never one to offer things outwardly, yet desperately waited for the chance to speak his mind.

“My…” When he finally spoke, it was as if a frog’s croak had replaced his sultry voice, “… My mother… passed recently.”

“Oh Chao…” She shimmied all the closer to him, rubbing his shoulder tenderly, “I am so sorry. Is it… too soon to ask how?”

“I… I don’t…” His breath hitched a moment, but with a couple of calmer breaths he brought himself back, “… That is just it. That’s the pain I’m experiencing right now. I don’t know. My Master… My father will not tell me. He refuses to give me a single detail, other than to proclaim that she was old and not long for the world.”

“... When is the funer--?”

“I don’t know Huan!” He ripped his face away from the sky, and certainly away from her, “He won’t tell me a thing. He forbade me from leaving my home for fear that I’d go looking. But I haven’t seen her since I was a boy of single digits. How would I even know where to look if I hadn’t found her before now? For all I know he had her buried in a place not even my sisters know, just so that he might spit on her bones when he felt the evilness in his heart. She died… and I never got to see her again. And now everything… he is seeking to take everything from me, as if her death was some sort of pass he needed to take complete control of my life! It’s as if he owns me now, like property...”

The grass blades pricked her face with their chill, but she let it be so. Sometimes it was all she could do but stoop to his level. To be in his same position when he endeavored to try and push back against his hurt. But as she knew he would have done for her, so too did she try with him. Putting a hand upon her face, though not with any force, she merely attempted to rub at his cheek bones.

“I don’t understand why he does these things to me.” He choked out, not giving into her prodding in the beginning, “I had to get away, even if just to ride. Even if I didn’t come here I just needed time. He doesn’t understand what his plots and schemes do to me.” Finally, though with clear reluctance, he began slowly arching into her touch. She guided him without a word, and as he turned in the bowl of his conical hat it revealed the heat of his tears against her fingers. It took all of her effort to stem her empathy before he offered the quiet comment, “… You’re getting yourself all wet, lying down here.”

“It’s the least I can do,” She smiled when he couldn’t, though made sure to be rid of it when he voice took a more serious measure, “because you do not deserve the terrible things your father does to you. He plays with you without cause. I’ll never understand it. The abuse…” As best as she was able, Huan cupped the man’s cheeks in either hand, “… Thank you for being so open with me, Chao. I’d be happy in the day I’d never have to hear a terrible thing from the Wuju Lands ever again, but I’m also so very happy that you can and do tell me of them.”

“I’d be happy in those days too.” The Wuju Master laughed a sad laugh, “But I’m… so very stuck in my position. There’s no way out. Especially not now…”

“Whatever do you mean? Surely things will be okay? I know it’s not the same but… I remember the feelings from when my father passed to the Stars. This has only just happened, correct? Time needs to come.”

The mage wouldn’t lie, she found little physical discomfort in wiping away his tears. His face was so hot with melancholy, and with the sun disappearing and the sea air kicking up about them she was glad that her hands were kept from shivering. But she wouldn’t have to fret about the cold for too much longer. Not when next he spoke,

“… I love you, Huan.”

“Wh..? Nn...  I… I know.”

“Don’t just—“ The man almost bit his own tongue, it seemed, before he took one of her wrists in his hand, “… Don’t just say I know. I know it isn’t… like that, but I love you Huan. I love you, and your compassion, and I just…” He was about to curl himself up, but she spotted it first. Almost reflexively she brought her forehead to his, as close as she dared get. The love word always plucked at her heart in ways she wished her foolish feelings wouldn’t rise when it was spoken. Such a rare sentiment to be found in their language was too easily muddied by the guilt or sympathy that she felt. He’d say it only so rarely, and he seemed to mean different things by it each time. But he wanted to hear something,

“I have known no other man like you. You know that... I love you so very much.”

And even if it was what she thought he wanted to hear, it didn’t necessarily make it untrue.

If he could not curl into his own world however, he would curl into hers. Perhaps he forgot his own strength, or maybe it was an intentional act, but his arms were powerful as he entangled her in them. His prominent nose lay straight into her neck, and she gasped quietly when he wheezed upon her cold skin. Stupid mixed feelings at such a time as this… but she was poised enough to let him cry. To pet the back of his head, and to whisper reassurances into his ear. To do it even as the world grew darker still about them, and as his mind’s voice became unchecked,

I came all this way to drag you into the mud, the voice within said with a complete lack of emotion, even as the man outwardly wept, Literal, and figurative mud. I came all this way to tell you I love you so much, and appreciate you so much, in the worst way possible. I didn’t plan for it to be this way. I thought about it all the way, but nothing has worked.

“You’re not making any sense. You just need to calm down. It’s going to be okay…”

I’m never going to see you again. I can’t take it…

“Wh… What?”

“H-Huan..?”

“Deep breaths, Chao…”

Finally, after so long, he lifted his heavy head. Just barely in the last wisps of sunlight could she glimpse at the toll of his sadness. His eyes seemed ripe for caressing, and his face needed to be rid of sweat and tears. It was perhaps the innate motherly instinct within that had her so desperately want to tend to his every wound. Instead the man wouldn’t allow it. As soon as his head was up his head was also forward, and suddenly, so recklessly…

His lips were ice, despite all his whimpering and choked breaths. She didn’t need that to tell her to put force upon his face with her hands. As much as she could see herself being lost to his misplaced passions, as much as it might have happened in fleeting pasts,

“N-No. No…” The man’s face tensed in her grasp, but he was not one to assert himself, “There are times, but that time… isn’t now. I don’t want you to do things like this when you’re so upset. We’re talking, alright?”

I don’t want to be alone, Huan. A breath hissed out his clenched teeth.

“You don’t have to be. I’m right here. You just need to calm down first.”

Stay with me.

“I am.”

Stay with me tonight. All of tonight. I can’t bear to be alone.

“N… Now you know I can’t do that. It’s just a matter of… of decency with the children.”

“Not like that! I just… I just…” A deep breath in, and then a deep breath out upon her chest. He did it once, then twice, then thrice. Quietly his arms went lax about her, and with a seemingly pained effort he broke away, “… I’m saying all sorts of… of bizarre mixed things, aren’t I?”

“… Yes, but I… do believe I brought them on.”

“I’m… sorry. I’m just so… I don’t know what. I really don’t know. I’m so upset. I’ve never felt this way before...” His brow was so creased that it almost appeared that his bushy eyebrows were in the place of his eyes. The Wuju Master wasted no time in propping himself up and clicking his tongue. Trained so well was the horse that it came without a second’s delay, and he used its reigns to help him stand, “I can… cry on my own terms. It’s paramount that I get you out of the mud and back to your college before your cohorts miss you, I think.”

“You don’t have to worry about me like that. I understand, I really do. All I want to be is here for you. We don’t have to leave just yet. I’m not mad, I’m just--”

--I’ll be staying here a couple of days more if I can find away to pay, he reached out a hand to her, At least I’ll be somewhere around until I work out what I’m to do. I don’t think I can keep speaking out loud. That’s really all you need know. We’ll talk about better things… another time…

Not that she needed the help, but if she let him do anything to her, then helping her from the grassy overlook was the least.

“The view was nice.” She offered quietly, watching him stoop down to aid her ascent to the saddle with a quiver to his form, “It really was. We must come back.”

I’m going to faint… His words echoed inside her skull almost illegibly, But home for her first. Maybe I shouldn’t have come at all. I should have stayed home. Should have just stayed. Everything is ruined. I’m never going to see her again…

She didn’t bring up that his thoughts rattled off in her mind all the way back home. Not only because she didn’t want to upset him further, but just because she didn’t have a response. All she had was arms with which to embrace him, but even that seemed to stir him up even more.

What do I do? I don’t understand… I don’t know what to do. I’m going to be sick. I’ve made a fool of myself. I’m a fool. A dumb fool. I just don’t want to be alone. I messed it all up…

You haven’t, she thought back to him, even if she wasn’t a telepath like he. Even if her tightening hug as they rode caused him to spout more and more thoughts, Even if I can hear your every thought, I still don’t know exactly what you’re thinking. We’ll talk about it one day at a time. We always have. I’m sure it will be okay. Maybe then I’ll stop worrying about you so much so that I can have a chance to know what I think about all this.

Really that was her main problem. It was easy to forget she had a say in it all too, but she’d ponder such things after drying her robes, and perhaps having a warm bath.

#WUJU THRIVES IN STORY NOW 『Drabbles』 #can u tell this is like #fanservice for myself LOL #I just really like their dynamic in my head #how its like 'first and foremost respect #second of all lets be chill adults.' #thanks rito for KILLING them #but yeah I am going to sleep for 26 hours now bye #the hobby project

[leakedinlondon]

Hey Courtney I'm going on my first over seas flight in 5 days time (like 20 hours or something with a brief lay over???) and I'm in desperate need of book recs. 21 year old female I like Harry Potter, dystopian future stuff, gay stuff especially wlw and also really love shitty cheesey light hearted stuff like Janet Evanovich. Would love your opinion!

tragically, i hav not read a lot of wlw books bc i’m a picky bitch about genres and a lot of the ones i know about are realistic fiction which i ain’t big on but i do recommend checking out Malinda Lo i rly like Adaptation which features a bi love triangle and aliens and has a part where some dude is talking about aliens and just starts humming the x files theme and that dude is me also i have heard v good things about Ash and Huntress but my bookstore doesn’t sell them and i’m like???? why

ok SO i hav a v v long dystopian masterpost if ur down to go through it but i’ll give u my faves from it here!!!!

Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness

Prentisstown isn't like other towns. Everyone can hear everyone else's thoughts in an overwhelming, never-ending stream of Noise. Just a month away from the birthday that will make him a man, Todd and his dog, Manchee -- whose thoughts Todd can hear too, whether he wants to or not -- stumble upon an area of complete silence. They find that in a town where privacy is impossible, something terrible has been hidden -- a secret so awful that Todd and Manchee must run for their lives.

these books!!!! are everything!!!!! if you haven’t read them u 100% should i swear they’re so fkn good

Unwind by Neal Shusterman

The Second Civil War was fought over reproductive rights. The chilling resolution: Life is inviolable from the moment of conception until age thirteen. Between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, however, parents can have their child "unwound," whereby all of the child's organs are transplanted into different donors, so life doesn't technically end. Connor is too difficult for his parents to control. Risa, a ward of the state, is not enough to be kept alive. And Lev is a tithe, a child conceived and raised to be unwound. Together, they may have a chance to escape and to survive.

i would die for Lev literally die for him at any given second this is also a very good series

The Passage by Justin Cronin

An epic and gripping tale of catastrophe and survival, The Passage is the story of Amy—abandoned by her mother at the age of six, pursued and then imprisoned by the shadowy figures behind a government experiment of apocalyptic proportions. But Special Agent Brad Wolgast, the lawman sent to track her down, is disarmed by the curiously quiet girl and risks everything to save her. As the experiment goes nightmarishly wrong, Wolgast secures her escape—but he can’t stop society’s collapse. And as Amy walks alone, across miles and decades, into a future dark with violence and despair, she is filled with the mysterious and terrifying knowledge that only she has the power to save the ruined world.

haven’t gotten around to reading the last book in this series yet but they are seriously epic like i swear this series is something else entirely

Maggot Moon by Sally Gardner

What if the football hadn’t gone over the wall. On the other side of the wall there is a dark secret. And the devil. And the Moon Man. And the Motherland doesn’t want anyone to know. But Standish Treadwell — who has different-colored eyes, who can’t read, can’t write, Standish Treadwell isn’t bright — sees things differently than the rest of the "train-track thinkers." So when Standish and his only friend and neighbor, Hector, make their way to the other side of the wall, they see what the Motherland has been hiding. And it’s big...One hundred very short chapters, told in an utterly original first-person voice, propel readers through a narrative that is by turns gripping and darkly humorous, bleak and chilling, tender and transporting.

this book broke my damn heart and ruined my life but oh my god it’s so good also a lil gay but like i said sad but it’s more 2 do with the setting like.... it doens’t have a happy ending but it felt right like that?????

More Than This by Patrick Ness

A boy drowns, desperate and alone in his final moments. He dies.Then he wakes, naked and bruised and thirsty, but alive.How can this be? And what is this strange deserted place?As he struggles to understand what is happening, the boy dares to hope. Might this not be the end? Might there be more to this life, or perhaps this afterlife?

this is my favorite book!!!!!! i would die for it!!!! i want to buy enough copies to fill an entire room of my house so i can just sit in it and cry!!!! this book is literally everything!!!! also gay!!!! she’s also sad but like...... i cannot express in words how much u need to read this damn book 

Bird Box by Josh Malerman

Something is out there, something terrifying that must not be seen. One glimpse of it, and a person is driven to deadly violence. No one knows what it is or where it came from.Five years after it began, a handful of scattered survivors remains, including Malorie and her two young children. Living in an abandoned house near the river, she has dreamed of fleeing to a place where they might be safe. Now that the boy and girl are four, it's time to go, but the journey ahead will be terrifying: twenty miles downriver in a rowboat--blindfolded--with nothing to rely on but her wits and the children’s trained ears. One wrong choice and they will die. Something is following them all the while, but is it man, animal, or monster?

another one of my all time faves!!!!!! i don’t even know what to say this is a masterpiece

ok so here we move on to the more fantasy and gay stuff these are less sad 

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone...A convict with a thirst for revengeA sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wagerA runaway with a privileged pastA spy known as the WraithA Heartrender using her magic to survive the slumsA thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz's crew are the only ones who might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.

this is.... so good.... also a little gay... hav heard the second book in the series is gayer but i haven’t read her yet

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here - it's their last year at Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. Carry On is a love letter to love stories and the power of words - to every 'chosen one' who ever had more on their mind than saving the world...

this book is literally just harry potter but gay and i’m still laughing i love it

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

The monster showed up after midnight. As they do.But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the one he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming…This monster is something different, though. Something ancient, something wild. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor.It wants the truth.

can u tell i’m a fan of patrick ness i’m going to fucking fist fight him for this piece of shit like.... this book.... is about a little kid..... whose mother has cancer....... like u know it’s gonna be a fucking bad time but u read it anyway and u cry like a fucking baby but u enjoy the whole damn thing because u hate urself.... it’s a beautiful read but it hurts (((also yes there is a Literal Monster hanging around))

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater

Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue herself never sees them—not until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks directly to her. His name is Gansey, and Blue soon discovers that he is a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble.But Gansey is different. He has it all—family money, good looks, devoted friends—but he’s looking for much more. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents all the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul who ranges from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher of the four, who notices many things but says very little.For as long as she can remember, Blue has been told by her psychic family that she will kill her true love. She never thought this would be a problem. But now, as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she’s not so sure anymore.

the description of this book doesn’t do it justice and i hate it i love these books i love my stupid raven kids i mainly love adam parrish who i would die for in a second ((also gay)) ((please read them if u haven’t i love adam so much he’s worth it)) ((the other characters are also amazing and i lov them too))

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

Children can have a cruel, absolute sense of justice. Children can kill a monster and feel quite proud of themselves. A girl can look at her brother and believe they’re destined to be a knight and a bard who battle evil. She can believe she’s found the thing she’s been made for.Hazel lives with her brother, Ben, in the strange town of Fairfold where humans and fae exist side by side. The faeries’ seemingly harmless magic attracts tourists, but Hazel knows how dangerous they can be, and she knows how to stop them. Or she did, once.At the center of it all, there is a glass coffin in the woods. It rests right on the ground and in it sleeps a boy with horns on his head and ears as pointed as knives. Hazel and Ben were both in love with him as children. The boy has slept there for generations, never waking.Until one day, he does…As the world turns upside down, Hazel tries to remember her years pretending to be a knight. But swept up in new love, shifting loyalties, and the fresh sting of betrayal, will it be enough?

Hazel is literally me okay there is a scene in this book where she’s at a fairy party and u kno how ur not meant to eat or drink anything fairies give u or ur fucked???? hazel ingests fucking fairy wine bc it was in the mouth of some fairy girl she was making out with and if that isn’t me i don’t know what is (((also that’s the only scene that she shows any interest in girls i am very sorry i don’t want to get ur hopes up))) ((ben on the other hand he is very gay and is also me they are both me i love these two idiots this book just makes me really happy)) 

#Anonymous #asks