#okay yeah makes sense

[abernathyvalois]

the craziest part about being queer and closeted is that you don’t even know how exhausting it is until it hits in the most random situations

#i had to write an email to my counselor #asking her if she could just #not mention i’m president of the gender& sexuality alliance #nor my essay which includes struggle with my sexuality #to my mom during meetings #which is like #okay yeah makes sense #but mid writing the email i just burst into tears #and started crying so hard #like where did that come from #Man #I wish i didn’t have to live knowing she would never look at me the same if she knew who i really was #lgbt #wlw

[mournmourn]

Opening the app and seeing that my blog is flagged as 'explicit' but no flagged posts and no additional info about why and how i'm flagged as that :)))

I had concert photos on queue but those arent being seen by anyone rn

#love it here #the fact that i dont post a lot of my own footage of a half naked finnish MAN #and im getting flagged #okay yeah makes sense

[starbuck]

reading and watching “classic” books and films is such an interesting experience because, before you get into them, when you only know them by name and maybe the vaguest plot outline, they’re intimidating and stuffy and up on a pedestal, but then you finally take the leap and check them out and realize that almost every story that’s achieved such a legendary level of popularity did so because something in its emotional core reached out and grabbed a lot of people by the throat and you are NOT immune.

#not that anyone but me probably needs to hear this but… #it’s OKAY to have Big Feelings about popular things #they’re popular for a reason - it makes sense to have a big reaction #but yeah - i should really know by now but i’m STILL floored every time i read or watch a classic and it Gets Me #like. this story has been Getting people for decades or centuries or MILLENNIA and yet STILL i’m surprised #‘i didn’t think the story would Get me’ says man about story that’s Gotten everyone who’s ever heard it

[peanuttoffee]

Fallen Order Cal is a cinnamon bun and has a precious place in my heart forever

but Jedi Survivor Cal...

thanks for the reference to the dearest @flammabel!

#cal kestis #jedi survivor #jedi fallen order #of course i played both games back to back what choice did i have #star wars #star wars fanart #star wars art #this was uncharacteristically fast for me wow #like a couple of hours or somethin?.. #*checks time* oh it's been about 7 hours okay yeah makes sense now #still faster than usual though so thats a win :DD #my art #jfo #bd-1

[laomelettedufromage]

One of my pet peeves after having gotten very into swing dance as an aroace is seeing videos of people swing dancing or really doing any type of partner dance and over half the comments just being stuff like “how are they not in love😳” or “friends🤨” like please free yourselves, you can have a lot of chemistry and fun dancing with someone and it doesn’t have to be anything more than that!! Just fun!!! I’m not saying a little bit of lighthearted friendly love can’t be involved but it’s not always that deep, it’s just having fun!!

#also in reality half the time I’m dancing with men old enough to be my dad ahskajaksks #and they’re very fun to dance with!!! #and like yeah I’m a type of person who I’d say I fall in love with random strangers a lot and that can carry over into dancing #using the term love very broadly here obviously #and that’s okay if you’re that type of person but also… it’s not that deep… just two people having fun #do I make sense here? #aroace #swing dance #partner dance #east coast swing #west coast swing #aromantic #asexual #by yours truly the omelette of cheese

[flickering-nightfall]

lands on the moon

#rain world #looks to the moon #five pebbles #flickerdoodles #art #i made this for moon landing week but then I psyched myself out of posting it for a while #oh. (looking at this in november) yeah okay sometimes “a while” is half a year #i have drafts from march 🙃 #anyways. five pebbles found floating lost in space #this isn't related to cdss. this is just a random thing (that disclaimer will make sense eventually)

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

#does this make sense #to do be deleted probably yikes #(takes a swing at a wasp's nest) #like i think ppl have started to just be really quiet when they like something 'problematic' #and im like... u can be like - #girl tswift NEEDS to just TAKE A BUS . LIKE????????????????????? #while also being like. #''she's a lot of fun'' #if ur personal policy is that u don't support her for that reason that's great #but it's like. eating meat??? #like yeah some people won't bc the environment. but the fact i eat meat doesn't mean i hate the earth #like i can say that i think the meat industry is HORRIFIC and also downright cruel to its employees #but like. still enjoy a chicken nugget.... #there are people who choose otherwise. it's okay . we are people. i make like no money. u probably don't either #us fighting about whether or not it's Right To Eat The Chicken Tender just distracts from like. #actually turning your ire on the corporation #i hope it's clear what i'm saying here is like. when we fight each other for Purity Reasons #we are just doing the work of corporations . for free. like they WANT us to be doing this lol #it's the fucking DREAM of the upperclass that now ALL forms of responsibility fall on the individual

[echotunes]

Hugo, two hours after joining QSMP, being so immersed in the qlobal translator's existence that he tried to use it irl to thank his McDonald's deliveryperson

Hugo: Ich hab... Ich hab grade zum Lieferanten "dankeschön" gesagt weil ich dacht'—ich hab mich so dran gewöhnt Deutsch zu reden, weil das automatisch übersetzt wird in QSMP, dass ich dachte, dass—dass meinem Lieferant das dann auch übersetzt wird. Bro! [cut] Digga das—ich erklär's nochmal ganz kurz. Also ich wohn' ja auf Madeira. Und die reden ja hier kein Deutsch. Digga, 'n Lieferant kommt hier hin, ich sag so "hello", ne, da hab—da wusst' ich irgendwie noch ok, Englisch. Bruder auf einmal sie gibt mir ne Tüte und ich sag "danke!" Weil ich— weil ich mit QSMP dachte dass das automatisch übersetzt wird—wird. Ich wa—ich—digga, das is' halt, das triggert dein Gehirn halt komplett.

(translation: I just... I just said "dankeschön" ("thank you" in German) to the deliveryperson because I thought—I'm so used to speaking German, because it's automatically translated in QSMP, that I thought that it would be automatically translated to my deliveryperson. Bro!

[cut] Bro that—I'm gonna explain it again for a sec. So I live in Madeira. And they don't speak German here. Bro, a deliveryperson comes here, I said "hello", like, at that point I still knew okay, English. And brother suddenly they give me a bag and I say "danke!" Because I—because with QSMP I thought it would be automatically translated. I—bro, that's just, that just fully triggers your brain.)

#i hope this way of formatting transcript + translation makes sense? i wanted to do both languages lol #anyway. yeah #chose to translate digga as bro because i feel like that's an okay translation. like vibe wise. yk. dude or man would also work though #mcyt #qsmp #letshugo #video #echo transcripts

[sysig]

Recently had a silly Handplates dream where Papyrus was trying to snoop around Gaster and Alphys’ lab, but didn’t know who Alphys was and so was trying to pass it off as his own lab lol (Patreon)

#Doodles #Dream log #UT #Handplates #Papyrus #Gaster #Sans #Alphys #And also he was Big Brother Papyrus to a babybones Sans lol #I doodled them as close to the dream as possible so if it's silly or doesn't make sense take it up with my subconscious lol #I remember Gaster had a reputation for being very charming and charismatic which ?? Sure okay lol #He was also quite smiley - personally I read that as him putting on a face to the public but even that seems out of character for him lol #Everyone else was pretty much as usual - Alphys small and nervous and Papyrus loud and bombastic #I don't remember what exactly he was looking for - doubly weird 'cause I hadn't reread him and Sans exploring yet! :0 #Just of them moving into their house - though I did read a bunch just before sleeping so safe to say I can attribute that lol #This was the only really clear part of the dream - the rest was just scrolling scrolling scrolling pages and pages of comic panels #Can't imagine why lol #Also intercut with some of the poses I ended up doodling before - surprise! They were dream doodles lol #Also in case it's not clear - Alphys was Very Much Present while Papyrus was trying to pass himself off as the name on the door lol #Oh yeah I'm pretty sure he was also speaking in WingDings thus why Alphys didn't immediately call him out lol #The room was quite cute actually - not at all the sterile grey of the True Lab #Warm and wooden with high windows nearly covered in clutter and paperwork with a desk in the middle lit by yellow light #Cozy #Barely evil-looking at all

[inamindfarfaraway]

I love how Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse said “Anyone can be Spider-Man”. I love how it inspired everyone to imagine their own Spider-People, saving the day in their own universes, with all kinds of cool, interesting personalities and aesthetics and mutations and life stories and relationships. We all put pieces of our soul into these homemade heroes. We had fun. We found community. And then Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse said, “Wow, great job! You’ve really taken our message to heart. Well, get ready for even more of everything you liked from the first movie and a new message to complement the first. Anyone can be Spider-Man… and anyone can be pulled into a cult.”

So now we all have to contemplate whether our lovingly crafted heroes would ever be on Team Mandatory Trauma Because Martyr Complex or not and why.

#i for one made a second spider-person (diving belle) right after watching atsv #who IS on team mandatory trauma for reasons that make sense given her moral code and its context #her world has eldritch horror elements that give some of her enemies a sharper edge #and she has had to use lethal force #in a ‘stays true to her strict morality based around compassion nonetheless’ way like wonder woman #she’s used to tough utilitarian decisions #she’s learned that no hero can save everyone from intensely traumatic brushes with mind-breaking corruptive power #so when miguel gave his big speech she was ‘yeah okay. i get it. sometimes shit just happens’ #it was actually very enjoyable going through the character creation process #from the starting point of ‘WOULD chase miles and restrain him by force’ #and then working toward ‘otherwise a genuinely good person and superhero who could be the star of her own series’ #atsv #spider man across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spider-verse #smatsv #sm: atsv #spiderverse #spidersona

[jesperr-fahey]

okay i wasn't completely sold on richter in the first few episodes, there just wasn't enough of him i don't think, but that moment in ep 4 of him saying "i'm a belmont, who's fucking next" immediately followed by olrox showing up and sending him into a full-fledged panic attack?? absolutely impeccable, i'm on board now. i love him. also the animation and depiction of said panic attack were very good

#castlevania #castlevania spoilers #castlevania nocturne #nocturne spoilers #richter belmont #it makes sense i think that we were getting more annette #because olrox wasn't really Part of it yet #but now we're sliding more into richter's story and i'm like. okay. yeah. i get it.

[sunforgrace]

the thing about supernatural is. the thing about the supernatural set is they go we put our actors in a room full of live bees. just lousy with real life alive bees. we did not end up using those takes turns out the cgi bees look better. we put lube in the water for the. viscosity. lube water shows up better on camera. we need to splash it in our actor’s face. so when you hear about real glass and/or knives you go yea that tracks . also one of our actors could not physically psychologically restrain himself from sticking his foot in the other guy’s crotch. we tried to get him to stop but he would not relent. this is normal!

#man dripping with black ooze and they go oh yeah he was throwing up all day too #and you go yeah okay #lube water is actually reasonable and makes sense though. thematically funny. real bees and such however

[ruler-of-thorns]

Malleus having older sibling trauma. Malleus resenting how Lilia is able to openly express being Silver's parent but had to keep Malleus at arms length because of their roles. Malleus having to know someone who was presumably initially very cold and softened only as he was growing older while Silver had a very openly loving father immediately. Malleus being the child who taught Lilia how to parent and love. Malleus never feeling like Lilia truly loved him after seeing how he was able to love Silver. Malleus loving Silver because they're brothers and at the same time resenting him for having the father he always wanted.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #am I projecting? yeah definitely #but honestly I feel like it could be really interesting in relationship to how Silver and Malleus perceive each other #what I hate is when people make Malleus ridiculously jealous of Silver though #like do I think Malleus resents the relationship between Silver and Lilia to an extent? #DEFINITELY! But again TO AN EXTENT #Malleus isn't going to hate Silver for this lol he knows that doesn't make sense #he still loves his brother yk #but yeah Malleus not being able to openly experience love and then Silver receiving allat has got to sting #his role as prince determines he will always be held at a distance from his world and that's best conveyed thru his relationships with dias #especially as a child with lilia #anyways I also dislike Maleficia and the BV senate because it's definitely their fault such roles even exist between Malle and everyone #okay that's. ramble done. #twst malleus #malleus draconia #twst silver #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on. i just wanted to see their height difference and. and hold on-

ill probably clean this up & do the other neighbors but ohhhhh my god. hes SMALL!!!!!! TWELVE! APPLES! (bg Home included to see if Barnaby would be able to fit through the front door. nope<3)

#im imagining barnaby leaning against home's roof while home repeatedly hits him with the side window #(it does nothing) #ANYWAY SO YEAH WALLY TINY. SMALL MAN #since the only info we have on heights is that wally is 3ft (twelve apples) and julie/sally are just a smidge taller than him #then frank/eddie are 4 ft #and then howdy/barnaby/poppy are all 7-8 ft #since theyre a bit vaguer im currently hc-ing that barnaby is the shortest at 7'9 while poppy is a solid 8 ft and howdy is between them #that still leaves barnaby as an absolute BEHEMOTH #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #okay. okay okay okay im so anormal about this #because i fucking Love height differences ok #whether its platonic or romantic or WHATEVER I AM WEAK TO IT. ITS MY FAVORITE THING #just a big person and their little guy. a little person and their big guy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #barnaby can hold wally like a ferret. wally can probably hide under barnaby's fluffy ears. im losing it #also the character heights are probably different than the physical puppet heights #since in the official art they all seem to have consistent size/height differences that slightly contradict their heights #which makes sense!! the big guys have walkarounds And live hands to keep em in frame with the smaller guys after all #(unless that info is a lie and there Are no different puppets bc theyre all alive and autonomous maybe but also hmmm Thinking) #still. wally is. so small #also its gonna amuse me when humans come into play #bc its like oh no!!! the puppets are all 3-4 ft tall! so tiny and vulnerable! #and then barnaby & howdy & poppy show up- #they could absolutely wreck humans. like fuck dude. theyre Huge. #id shit. just saying. if a near-8-ft-tall four armed four legged caterpillar man showed up id Pass Away On the Spot #i would say No Thanks and then Die Instantly #great now im picturing julie screeching THEY CANT STOP US ALL and then the smaller puppets swarm a person #so true queen <3 they Cant stop you all <3 especially when you have a huge fuckoff dog backing yall up

[skyward-floored]

#might do seven actually but I haven’t decided yet #sksw zelink #zelink #rambles from the floor #I’m having fun okay #plus #everybody gives their ships like one kid maybe two (if any) and it’s so boringggggg #like yeah some people aren’t going to have kids or aren’t going to have very many and that’s ok #but I NEVER see stuff where characters have more then four #like ever #I fight this by giving my characters as many kids as I can (when it makes sense) #also I’m parched for large family representation that isn’t stupid #if I can’t find any water I’ll dig my own well

[lover-of-mine]

Eddie Diaz + Hesitation.

#911 #eddiediazedit #911edit #911 fox #911 abc #eddie diaz #my edit #well #i dont know okay #when i was looking for the correct shots to add to my eddie fell first essay i was like #huh dude pulls back before saying someting a lot #thats a set idea #dude bites his tongue a lot aoksaoksaoskaoks #anyway #i dont even know if this makes sense i just needed something to do that i can do because my brain is telling me im a bad writer #and i needed it to shut up #and gifs are a mechanical #anyway yeah #have this #i miss him :( #911verse