#on monday my grandma passed away
Text
One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [5]
[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 ]
Genre: Angst, fluff
TW: Heavy depression
Words: 4k
Synopsis: One winter before his disappearance, you told your boyfriend Yu about a question you’ve had for so long; one even he could hardly respond to.
It took many more hopeless winters for you to finally have your answer.
Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked.
SIDENOTE did anyone see how Clove speaks? Who would've thought vehemently studying Irish slang 8 months ago would come back to help me like this??? Writing them is gonna be such a breeze fr hint wink wink nudge nudge nudge
。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·
Winter, present day
You wanted to call yourself stupid for not catching on.
How wasn’t it obvious?
There was a gun in his bedroom and a medallion with a symbol that you've never seen before, even after relentlessly googling around.
Purple eyes, mysterious disappearances, owning a house with undisclosed memories that he was just willing to abandon for your apartment, and… other than his grandma? Yeah, no family.
You sighed and pushed open the wooden doors to the café, allowing the bell above to announce your arrival on this boring and slow Monday.
Yesterday was spent entirely at Yu’s house. Not only to tend to the trees you planted a winter ago, but to also keep searching for that gun. And, alas, there was nothing.
Maybe he took it before he disappeared.
Maybe he…
Ugh.
You stepped behind the counter and pocketed your headphones.
Only now did you hear Ying’s muffled voice way behind you inside her room, drowned out by the music.
You were sure that she was speaking to someone on the phone, considering your co-worker called out at the last minute. Who, however, would remain a mystery.
Not that you cared.
Then, the door swung open, and you heard the clicks of her shoes as she walked down the corridor, phone in hand.
“I made sure to check it before I left.” She explained. “Around March, last I heard. That’s the only day– Y/N!”
Ying’s previously quiet voice shot up a few decibels upon noticing you.
But before you even realised it, your mind had prepared itself for the sudden incoming hug it really didn’t want.
“Oh my God, I was so worried!”
Her arms found their place tightly wrapped around you, completely ignoring the seemingly important call, as she had tossed her phone on the counter behind her in favour of this embrace.
You placed one hand on her back in a weak attempt to reciprocate it. However, all you could notice was how cold her silky black ponytail was as it fell on her back.
“I missed one day, Ying.”
“I thought something happened to you!” She pulled away, her hands still on your shoulders. “You should’ve told me– where were you?”
“At Yu’s.”
Her posture immediately relaxed with that answer, and a wide grin painted her features.
“Ah, is that so? And how are the lemons? I trust they’re in excellent condition.”
You would’ve groaned at how she referred to a bunch of seeds underground as if they were babies being taken care of. But after that tangent, maybe that comparison was… Well, apt wasn’t the word, but, you know.
Something like that.
“Still acclimating. They require less maintenance in the winter, but…”
Your words were lodged in your throat, and you were rendered unable to tell her exactly what you were thinking.
But Ying somehow didn’t notice. Instead, she began taking a few steps back to close the call she’d abandoned, another idea popping up in her mind.
“How large was his backyard again? Why don’t you plant more seeds there? Something that can withstand this weather?”
“When’s the last time you’ve been to his house, Ying?”
She placed one hand on her hip.
“I visited Iso’s house a few times before, Y/N. I even recall mentioning the absurd size of his backyard. Ah, I think I used the word ridiculous, too… That might’ve offended him.”
Ying explained thoughtfully with a finger on her chin. And from her dreamy tone, it was easy for you to infer that she was just about to go off on another tangent should you let her keep talking.
She promptly moved towards the register with this memory in mind. But before she could say anything, you interrupted her.
“Who’s Iso?”
…
“Iso?”
Ying stayed silent for a moment.
Then, she tittered,
“I– I must’ve misspoken; I meant to say Yu.”
You crossed your arms.
“Who’s Iso, Ying?”
“Ah, it– it’s just a character from a book I’m currently reading. It’s not anything important.” Ying fanned herself with her hand as she spoke, presumably from a bout of anxiety. “Anywho, as I was saying– would you like me to come along with you? We’ll find new spots for you to plant in!”
…
You ran your fingers through your hair, leaning on the counter behind you.
Ying only had two Meyer lemons that day, and you managed to scoop out a combined amount of nine seeds. A lot, but compared to a normal lemon that had at least ten–fifteen seeds in one fruit, it was nothing.
And what worried you was the prospect of you failing or only managing to get a few trees out of those.
It couldn’t hurt to have a few… backup fruits, right? If the lemons failed, you’d maybe have… something else. Besides, the cashier from that one shop seemed fond of you when you bought the garden ready passion fruit. You could purchase another orange and strike up a conversation with her.
Besides, you needed to work on mentally desensitising yourself to being in his house.
“I'll take care of it myself, I could use some alone time.”
Even though every second of your life was composed of ‘alone time’ to the point that it was concerning.
But Ying didn’t really want to mention that. Not when your mood seemed to be substantially improving with it.
She flashed you her familiar grin in response.
“Well, if you’d like any help, I’m one–”
“One text away, got it. Weren’t you talking to someone?”
You gestured at the phone she set on the counter a while ago, referencing the call she’d abandoned in favour of this conversation.
And you swore you could see buffering in her eyes before she caught on.
“Oh! Right, thank you, I’d almost forgotten about her.”
She quickly grabbed the phone and waved goodbye before disappearing into her office for the day. And by then, you had already known that customers made their way inside.
You didn’t even need to look back to know. Not when that repetitive jingle gave it away, and the sounds of them snickering and gossiping to each other.
You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair, preparing to serve the group.
❤ฺ·。
You were still thinking about that gun even after it’d been a whole year since you visited his house. However, when you passed by his bedroom, the thoughts took over your mind like a virus.
The urge to peer through his drawers once more grew unbearable, even after you’d done it a few dozen times. And each time, it wouldn’t change; there was simply no gun anymore.
This weapon only raised more questions in your mind. None of them were new, except for one:
Was Yu dead?
Was that the reason for his disappearance?
Maybe the hourglass medallion was related to it. Maybe they were a… an organisation? A group, something like that.
Maybe he’d gotten into a fight with these people, or maybe they sent someone out to kill him. But why?
You thought of at least a hundred possibilities as to how he would’ve died, but none of it made sense because of one thing, how did someone like Yu get involved with people like this?
The only reason you entertained it was because of his eyes, his nonexistent parents, and the bloody house you were in.
There’s no way a barista with the same salary as you would be able to buy all of this.
But you never doubted him; you trusted him. You trusted his decision to keep it all vague.
You trusted that, one day, he would tell you.
Maybe that was a mistake.
Oh, screw it, you thought as you pushed the doors to his backyard open.
Ignoring the familiar cold sensation that wrapped itself around your exposed face and neck was an easy task, especially when you were finally taking in the sight before you.
Six trees. But you already saw that before. What grabbed your attention were the white flowers scattered around the deep green leaves, like fairies that had sprinkled dust during the night.
Once you’d reached it, you meticulously cupped one flower in your gloved hands and observed the shape, but all of it was healthy. All it needed was one more year to finally bear fruit.
The pearly white tint of the flower beautifully stood out against your black gloves; its thin petals curving in a manner so purposeful, you swore it was sculpted by the gods.
They also needed pruning, you mused before going back to grab a tool you left behind.
But you’d get to it after you watered them.
Incidentally, it was February; Winter was finally coming to an end. And this meant that the snow that coated the ground was starting to melt off, patches of dull grass sneaking through any opening they could in an effort to get some air.
This made the shovel you were about to use somewhat redundant when it came to shovelling the snow.
Nevertheless, once you’d picked an empty spot in his spacious backyard, you slid the blade of your shovel under the thin mound of melting snow. Then, once you scooped up most of it, you tossed it aside and cleared the area.
‘Why do you plant things in the winter? Why not summer?’
Yu suddenly questioned from behind as he rested on the staircase after he’d done shovelling all of the snow.
Since he’d volunteered and successfully done most of the gruelling work for you, you had enough space to finally plant the germinated lemon seeds once you were done spacing them out.
And to him, his inquiry made sense.
Winter was the season of death, and even his optimism wouldn’t stop him from admitting that. So why would you pursue a hobby that sprouted life at that time?
You continued shovelling the snow out of the way as you remembered what you told him that dreadful day.
And this time, you didn’t block your brain from pulling these annoying conversations from the depths of your mind – not when you wanted to remember the answer.
‘Planting things in the winter helps them bear fruit faster. Moreover, the seeds I'm planting are winter fruit.’
Despite sitting behind you, you could easily tell that Yu immediately perked up at the foreign term.
‘Winter fruit?’
‘Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like.’
Whenever he learned something new from you, he would just have the cutest look on his face.
If only you could see it now, you mulled. But that privilege was revoked years ago, and you weren’t in the mood to mourn right now.
Not after all of your impressive progress so far.
‘Lemons are a winter fruit?’
You nodded.
‘...What about oranges?’
He noted the abundance of oranges you had at the time, and your silent plans to have them planted, if only it didn’t take years for the blasted trees to bear fruit.
This question, however, made you pause at the time.
‘They... are.’
‘I see. And why oranges specifically?’
Seemingly oblivious to the pause in your answer, Yu continued pressing on, unaware of the consequences of asking such a question.
Once the snow was out of the way and you’d cleared the grass, you moved back towards the doors and grabbed the nearby rake, ready to make space for your orange trees.
‘They were my dad's favourite.’
The answer came solemnly; the shift in topic immediately souring both his and your mood.
And Yu quickly caught on to his mistake since he immediately rushed to apologise,
‘Oh, I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…’
You pushed a plentiful amount of dirt out of the way with only a few repetitive movements. And though they were few, you still felt the sweat form.
The thick jacket you wore started to weigh heavily on you. That, and just about everything else, but were you really going to work in a tank top out here?
‘No, it's okay.’
Yu watched you stand up once you were done, dusting off your hands.
Yet he noted how weak your movements were. How much hesitance was involved in just getting the dirt off of your fingers, or even holding yourself up.
How easily upset you were at the mention of your deceased parents.
At the time.
‘Can we leave? I'll... I'll check on the trees afterwards.’
He immediately stood up and took off his glove to pull you closer to him.
‘Of course. You deserve a break, after all. Where would you like to go?’
‘Do you remember the bridge I told you about? I heard it looks better in the spring; but we should go tomorrow.’
Yu beamed at this, his fingers interlocking with yours, and his thumb had already begun outlining the lines on your palm.
It sounded like an innocent suggestion.
‘Tomorrow? Okay, but you'll have to send me the location in advance.’
You remembered both of you leaving for the bridge that day and what came afterwards.
You remembered the dread that followed you throughout the entire trip. Not to mention the gloom, all because you remembered your father.
And it’s not like any of it was to be missed.
You didn’t miss having your whole day ruined at the mention of one person.
You stood back and stared at the hole you’d dug with the shovel, measuring its width compared to the tree you were about to put in its place.
Perfect, you thought. It was all perfect.
❤ฺ·。
Summer passed by like a breeze, and Ying was beyond delighted at the harvest you brought back and immediately got to work with the others to turn them into delicious treats to sell.
Luckily for you (or her), they sold like hotcakes, and today, once winter finally arrived, the moment you walked through the doors and heard the jingle from above, you already saw the results of your hard work.
Ying stood deep within the dining area in front of the wall that used to be empty for so long; now, however, it carried the large, expensive painting she had yearned for the past few years.
And just like she predicted, it looked absolutely stunning.
The colours perfectly complemented the warm colour palette of the general area, and the ladies and their surroundings bounced off of the previously dull flora she’d decorated the area with. That, and, you know, it was just a pretty painting to look at.
You approached and pocketed your headphones, but Ying needn’t look back to know you were there.
The crunch of the ice under your boots was loud enough. All thanks to the strong snowfall outside.
“Isn’t this amazing? It feels like I renovated the whole area, Y/N!”
She said excitedly as she clasped her hands together, meeting your gaze.
Did you even want to ask how long she spent staring at the painting? Not that it was a bad thing.
“I admit. It does look impressive.”
“And I couldn’t have done it without you! Speaking of which, you look happy today. Did something happen?”
Ying asked with a tilt of her head, and your smile only widened at this despite your futile attempts to keep a straight face.
“The lady at the nursery suggested I sell some of my plants there with her. I’m still considering it.”
She didn’t know who she was, so you didn’t really bother telling Ying the name of this new friend you made.
But her face still beamed at this.
“Why not? You mentioned your apartment being cramped a while ago. Is that still the case?”
“It is.”
Of course she’d remember an off-handed comment from months ago.
Besides, all anyone needed to know something like this was to simply glance at any of your windows, and they’d see the potted trees pressed up against them.
“I’ll still have to wait until the weather clears up.”
“I see. Good call.”
She didn’t need to look out the windows to see the thick fog outside. The way to work was difficult enough for her since she had to avoid the black ice and check the weather for any potential storms.
Nevertheless, despite how subtle it was, Ying immediately picked up on the wistfulness that bled into your previously content tone.
“Is… something wrong?”
Your smile slowly fell as you carefully leaned on the table behind you.
Don’t quote me on this comparison, I hate Chemistry.
But despite solitude being bound to you like protons to a nucleus at this point, and vice versa, you’d been keeping this question to yourself, and it felt like it was driving you mad. For once, you needed to ask someone, and who better than Ying?
And you weren’t in the mood to be subtle or to ease her into it.
Might as well lay it all out.
“Is Yu dead?”
She seemed incredibly caught off guard by the question.
“Dead? That– that’s a… ah, a bold assumption… Why would you ever say that?”
Should you even tell her about the gun and the hourglass medallion?
Even though you were still pissed at Yu for keeping so many things hidden from you, you still felt it disrespectful to air out his laundry behind his back.
Well, if he was alive, that is.
Besides, it’s not like she was innocent either. She had a mysteriously large sum of money herself, despite being a humble café owner.
Speaking of… why didn’t she just buy the painting with that instead of waiting for your harvest?
Maybe you shouldn’t ask everything.
You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair.
“Just a thought.”
“No, don’t say that. You’re doing so well, Y/N; don’t let the pessimism get to you!”
You smiled in amusement at her words.
Was the change in your appearance and attitude that drastic? You could’ve sworn one of the positive things about your genes was the lack of dark circles under your eyes.
Ying, however, only kept going.
“How about we visit his grandmother? I know both of you used to do that a lot. Are those lemons done growing?”
“They are. I should be able to harvest them on Sunday if the weather gets better.”
It’s been a while since you visited her. And honestly, you may or may not have missed her delighted smile and hug whenever she’d see you come in with freshly baked goods for her to enjoy.
Shame this all stopped when Yu disappeared. If you took it this horribly, you couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.
“Sunday? That’s great! Would you like me to come with you? I’ll bring the baskets!”
For once, the offer sounded enticing.
Hauling baskets around in a bus also sounded like a terrible idea. So…
You nodded.
“I don’t mind.”
“Wonderful! So, what do you always bring her? Was it lemon bars, or…”
Ying started spitballing ideas as she walked you to the counter, attempting to come up with a list of lemon desserts for you both to bring.
Sweets and baking weren’t her forte, but it was really fun to watch her ramble on about something she really enjoyed. It wasn’t that hard to tell that she never got to have a casual conversation with someone outside of work, anyway.
And so you let her talk, instead opting to listen to her in silence and only chiming in when she was out of words.
❤ฺ·。
Both of you settled on lemon pie.
It was a nice change compared to the usual pound cakes you’d always bring her. And besides, you needed to bring something special after not visiting her for years, or however long it’s been.
Not like you were one to keep track of time.
Nevertheless, a week had passed since that conversation, and things only continued to improve. Mentally, that is.
You were way too exhausted from tending to what felt like a few hundred trees all day. The work felt like it was never ending.
It’s not like you were able to go outside anyway; the fog never let up since then. Even the buses were starting to reroute, and your path to work was getting more and more hazy.
Thankfully for you, it was Saturday; you’ve been up since the crack of dawn, and you’ve just finished your housework at two in the afternoon.
Pruning, fertilising, watering and fending off fungal infections and diseases. Even though it was winter, an abundance of dormant plants still equaled a considerable amount of work.
Sure, as Ying said, the air was fresher in here, but you needed to sell all of these plants. It was quite literally a forest at this point.
That wasn’t to mention the ones at Yu’s house that you still haven’t tended to, the ones you were going to harvest tomorrow had the weather improved.
Once you set down your shears and gave your fingers the relief of rest after spending the past hour pruning your kiwi tree, it felt like they were just one wrong move away from falling off your body.
And maybe that was the time for you to actually stop working.
You walked back inside to your hotter bedroom and slammed the door to the balcony shut, taking a deep breath of the fresh air to isolate a specific scent. And it didn’t take long for you to spot it – the scent of hot chocolate.
You’d just made it for breakfast and had completely forgotten about it whilst waiting for it to cool off.
Huh. Instead of drinking it in bed, maybe you should try something Ying would probably do.
You ran your stiff fingers through your hair and moved towards the kitchen, grabbed the lukewarm cup and headed for the living room.
Once you sat down on the couch, the remote immediately made its way into your hand and the television was turned on.
Yu’s blankets were still there. You washed and tossed them back there, since there was no reason for you to move them.
Not like you felt ill when you looked at them. They were pretty warm.
Besides, you were more concerned with the television and whether or not it would work after being unused for so long.
And… Yeah. It was kind of boring. Scratch that; it was very boring.
Ying was probably just way too old-fashioned for you.
You surfed through the channels for a few more minutes. And with every channel you passed, you were only further reminded as to why this blasted thing was never used.
You surfed and surfed and surfed, eventually landing on whatever channel it was once you’d gotten bored enough and instead picked up the phone to scroll through social media.
Maybe you really should hit up your landlord and stop funding this useless thing mounted on your wall, you mused.
Your train of thought, however, was immediately derailed once your ringtone blasted in your ears.
Ying had suddenly called you. And despite your annoyance, you accepted it without thought, holding the phone up to your ear.
“Y/N! Good afternoon, how are you?”
“Hi. Do you need something?”
She tittered, and you could feel her anxiously fan herself from the other side of the phone.
“What if I just wanted to check in on my friend?”
“So you… don’t need anything.”
“No, I do. Are you free this March?”
You sighed and instead looked out the window, your eyes locking on the rapid snowfall that only helped further coat the ground in tonnes of snow.
Sidewalks, houses, dead trees, balconies… Well, the uncovered ones, of course. Your balcony was safe.
“Possibly. Why?”
This question was weird to ask, to say the least. Especially to someone who lived their life with no planning and went with the flow.
But you did understand why she’d ask since she planned months and months ahead.
“There’s something I must do, but it’s highly likely that I’d end up needing your assistance with it. Do you recall a few years ago, when you…”
Then, the word ‘storm’ caught your attention, your eyes immediately darted back to the television as your brain tuned out Ying’s words.
Turns out that the channel you’d stopped at was the weather forecast, and the woman was explaining an incoming catastrophic storm headed towards…
Crap.
“I– I have to go; I need to leave.”
“Where? What’s happening?”
Without thought, you stood up and rushed towards the thick jacket you had hung up on the coat rack right next to the door.
“Ying, there’s a blizzard. It’s headed right around the neighbourhood where Yu’s house is!”
You slipped on your boots and grabbed your keys, stuffing whatever remaining essentials there were in your pocket.
“What?! Y/N, wait, don’t tell me you’re–”
“I’m going, Ying!”
“Don’t! Don’t, just wait for me, I–”
You slammed the door shut, haphazardly holding the scarf over your nose, and rushed down the flight of stairs.
Ying failed to convince you not to go before you closed the phone and shifted all of your focus back on your path, and she especially failed to get you to understand what was truly happening through your skull.
To her, you either didn’t notice the magnitude of the situation, or you just outright didn’t care. Rushing into a blizzard just to keep a few trees safe was something no sane person would do, even with how much those trees meant to you.
And despite the thick haze that blocked you from seeing only a few feet in front of you, the people rushing to get home as soon as possible, and the rapid snowfall, none of it mattered.
You clutched the ice-cold pole inside the bus and leaned your head against it, its temperature seeping through your thick black gloves and stinging your skin.
Your eyes locked on the windows as you watched the driver struggle to make his way through the fog, and your heart raced fast enough that it nearly constituted a heart attack.
People around you were scared. The children huddled with their parents like scared birds, and you swore you could hear a few of them reassure their kids that they were going to make it home just fine.
But you tuned it all out in favour of what was important to you.
All you needed to do was get to his house.
Get to his house at the very least, and it’ll all be okay.
Those trees will be okay. You’ll make sure of it.
#valorant#valorant fanfiction#valorant x reader#valorant x f reader#valorant x female reader#iso x reader#iso x f reader#valorant iso#iso#valorant fluff#valorant angst#iso x you#valorant sage#sage#valorant x you#valorant iso x reader#angst#fluff#li zhao yu#wei ling ying#iso x y/n#valorant iso x you#valorant iso x y/n#valorant headcanons#iso headcanons
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
the babysitter
Clarke screws up, now her mom doesn’t trust her to watch her little sister on her own. Abby’s solution is to hire a babysitter, who just happens to be the girl Clarke has been crushing on for as long as she can remember.
Read on ao3
Chapter One
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Clarke protested, stalking after her mother into the kitchen. She had just informed her that someone would be coming over the following night to keep an eye on her and her sister while their mom was at work. “I am perfectly capable of being able to watch Madi by myself,”
Abby ignored her daughter’s complaining, making her way to the pantry to start prepping dinner. “Your sister begs to differ, and so do I. Considering I found her in the front yard last week in her pajamas while you were passed out drunk with your friends in the basement,” Abby scolded, giving the blonde a pointed look. “You’re lucky it’s only a babysitter and not Grandma,”
Clarke shrank back slightly, but she wasn’t going to give up. “It’s embarrassing. She probably goes to my school. On Monday everyone in the junior class will know that Clarke Griffin needs a babysitter. Do you know what that would do to me?”
“You’re being dramatic,” Abby rolled her eyes. “And she does go to your school,” she added quietly.
“Mom,” Clarke groaned. She stomped her foot like a child, frustrated and annoyed that her mom didn’t trust her with something as simple as watching an eleven year old. “What can I do to make this not happen?”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Abby sighed. “Madi was the one who asked for a babysitter,”
“She did?” Clarke was taken aback. “Why did she do that?”
“Because she wants to have a responsible adult in the house while I’m away, and I agree with her,”
“That traitor,”
“Careful, Clarke. You’re already grounded,” Abby reminded her. Clarke scowled, crossing her arms.
“Well, at least tell me her name,” Clarke huffed, “If I’m going to have to bribe her to keep my secrets, I may as well know,”
“Anya,”
Anya.
That couldn’t be Anya Woods, could it?
“It totally is,” Raven teased at lunch the next day. “Anya Woods, scary soccer captain and big sister to the love of your life. She’s your babysitter,”
“Shut up,” Clarke grumbled, pushing her food around on her plate. She was slumped in her chair, defeated since her mother revealed who was going to be her, or Madi’s, babysitter. “Lexa is not the love of my life,”
“No, she’s just the girl you’ve been pining after since kindergarten, yet don’t have the guts to talk to,”
“I’ve talked to her,” Clarke countered. “She’s in my Calculus class, I sit behind her. We talk everyday,”
“Asking her for a pencil sharpener doesn’t count as talking,”
“Says you,” Clarke snapped, crossing her arms. Let her have her secret unobtainable crush in peace.
Raven smirked, her friend’s attitude amusing her. She couldn’t blame her, though. The Woods sisters were sort of legends at Polis. As soccer co-captains the two of them led their team to the state championships, putting them at the top of the social hierarchy. Clarke and her friends were popular as well, but they regrettably ran in different circles, hardly overlapping except for the few classes they shared.
“Lay off her, Raven. It’s not like you don’t drool over Anya. And you haven’t even had a conversation with her,” Octavia pointed out, causing Raven to stick her tongue out at her. “Clarke‘s at least has somewhat of a footing with Lexa,”
“We go way back,” Clarke argued.
“That one kiss in kindergarten doesn’t count-“
“Shut up.” Clarke grumbled. Yes it did, it was in fact her bisexual awakening at mere five years old. “Anya isn’t that unusual of a name. It’s probably not her,”
“Well let’s ask,”
“What are you-“
Raven was up in a flash, giving her friends one last smirk before making a beeline towards Anya’s lunch table. Clarke watched in horror as she sat down across from Anya and Lexa, giving the sisters a wide smile. The two of them looked at her confused, Anya not recognizing her and Lexa wondering why someone she hardly knows is smiling at her like that.
Raven starts speaking to them, Clarke seeing Anya nod at Raven’s question. She felt her heart drop at the confirmation, the trio looking over at her lunch table as Raven pointed her out. Clarke felt her face flush with embarrassment as she held her hand up half heartedly, giving a pathetic wave.
Lexa had a look of puzzlement on her face, returning the wave politely. Clarke watched as she turned back to Raven and Anya, Raven chatting excitedly before making her way back over to the table.
“So it turns out Anya Woods is your babysitter,” she gloated. “I made sure to tell her that you are Madi are darling angels who never misbehave,”
“I hate you,”
“Relax, I didn’t say that. But she is your babysitter. She’ll be there at seven, so I’ll be there at, say, seven fifteen?”
“You’re not coming over and embarrassing me further. Plus, I’m grounded, remember? Thanks to your brilliant idea of getting wasted last week,”
“I happen to remember you happily going along with it,”
“Yeah, well, I’m full of regrets,”
//
Lexa is doing homework in her and Anya’s shared room when her sister walks in, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I got a last minute invite practice with the Polis U soccer team,”
“Are you serious?” Lexa exclaimed, shutting her textbook loudly and swiveling her chair to face her. “That’s amazing! When?”
“Tonight at seven,” Lexa frowns.
“Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting Madi Griffin then?” she asks.
“Yeah but… I can’t pass up on this opportunity, Lexa. This could lead to a spot on the team and a full scholarship. We both know how much that would help out Dad,”
“So you’re bailing?” Lexa gawked, watching her sister gather her hair into a high bun before moving to her closet to find an outfit.
“I’m not bailing, I’m simply replacing myself,” Anya said, back turned towards Lexa as she rummaged through her closet. She purposefully did not face her sister as she said this.
“With who?”
“Funny you should ask…”
“Oh no,” Lexa knew where Anya was going with this. “You’re not doing this to me,”
“Come on, Lex! How long have you liked this girl? Literally over a decade. And this is the perfect opportunity to get to know her better, it’s basically the premise of a porno. Plus it would really help me out, please?”
Lexa rolled her eyes, jaw set as her mind raced with the possibilities of what could happen tonight. Chances are she would make a fool of herself, she was never able to function properly around pretty girls. Especially ones she kissed once when she was five.
“Clarke probably won’t even come out of her room. You’ll just be with Madi. You can handle her, can’t you?”
“Of course I can, she’s nine,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “But I don’t want to,”
“Lexa. What’s with it with Clarke Griffin? Usually around girls you’re all game, but with her you become this awkward bumbling mess. It’s so unlike you,”
“Clarke is special,” Lexa said softly. “She’s not just some girl. Not to me,”
“Right. She was the girl. The one who made you realize your raging lesbianism,” Anya smirked, pulling an athletic shirt over her head. “Yet you haven’t made a move in twelve years,”
“She’s out of my league,” Lexa shrugged. “I’ve accepted it. Plus we probably have nothing in common,”
“You both like each other. You have that in common,”
“Shut up. She does not like me,”
“Then go and find out,” Anya grabs her soccer bag out of the closet. “Are you going to make me say please?”
“It wouldn’t hurt,”
“So you’ll do it?”
“I want to hear you say ‘please’ first,”
Anya rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible. I’ll text you the Griffin’s address from my car. They’re expecting you at seven, so get there around six fifty. Thank you so much, Lex,”
She leaves in a hurry before Lexa could protest, saluting her sister as she walks out the door. Lexa sighs, spinning around in her chair as she thinks about what she had gotten herself into.
//
Clarke’s sitting on her couch with Madi, a bowl of popcorn mixed with M&M’s between them as they watched episodes of Grace and Frankie.
Abby comes into the room dressed in her scrubs, looking down at her phone. “Anya will be here any minute. I left money on the counter for pizza, and there’s stuff in the pantry to make cookies if you get bored,”
She suddenly whips her head towards the TV when she hears Jane Fonda yell ’fuck!’
“What are you watching?” she asked sharply, folding her arms together as gave her older daughter a pointed look.
“It’s fine, Madi’s old enough,” Clarke rolled her eyes, popping an M&M in her mouth.
“She’s nine, Clarke!”
“Almost ten,” said Madi.
“There’s nothing bad in this show,” Clarke shrugs, just as Lily Tomlin’s character lights up a joint onscreen. Clarke frowned. Perfect timing. “Besides that,”
“This is why mom doesn’t trust you enough to watch me alone,” Madi gloats. “Which is why we need a babysitter.” Clarke glares at her.
“Don’t give her that look, Clarke. She’s right,” Abby placed her hands on her hips. “Turn it off,”
Clarke dramatically sighs. “Fine, I’ll turn on She Ra. Or is Madi too young for that, too?”
Abby doesn’t answer her sarcastic remark because the doorbell decides to ring at that moment. She just shakes her head sternly at Clarke and goes to greet the babysitter.
“You must be Anya,” Clarke heard her mom say when she answers the door. She slumped down on the couch, sighing dramatically as Madi snickered next to her.
“Actually, no,” Clarke froze. She knew that voice. Crap. “She had something come up, so she sent me instead. I hope that’s okay. I’m Lexa,”
#loosely based off my babysitter’s a vampire but with no vampires sorry :/#making a moodboard later#clexa#clexa fanfic#clexa fanfiction#clexa au#modern clexa#clarke x lexa#clarke griffin#lexa kom trikru#commander lexa
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just got notice that a friend died.
Karen was 77 years old, always looking for ways to help whether or not you asked, and a delight to talk with. Everyone’s kindest grandma. Diagnosed with aggressive leukemia on Friday, died Monday. Her memory WILL be a blessing.
As I cry and grieve I am also reliving a memory from 18 years ago. My uncle passed away the same way. Diagnosed and died within four days, no notice, fully unexpected. My siblings and I were told the news just after coming home from a week of camping. Standing in the living room, door still wide open, backpacks on the floor, dirty and tired and happy after a week in the mountains, getting told our uncle had died the day before.
The cognitive dissonance.
My mind is in three places at once now. Last week, sitting next to Karen at church; she was refusing payment for mending ten pair of work pants for me, saying how much she loved using her sewing machine and how she would make all her own clothes as a teenager. 16 year old me, hearing the news of my uncle, standing in stunned silence as my mother cries through the words and wondering how my cousins would cope. And now, sitting in a sunbeam looking out the window as spring blooms, clear skies for once while all the water falls from my eyes instead.
I’ll take an aspirin to cut off the headache that’s forming from crying, but I’ll also let myself cry as long as I can. She deserves to be grieved to the fullest. She was a good one.
Enjoy your next adventure, Karen. Uncle Val will try to jumpscare you at the veil, it was his favorite joke so pretend he got you good, yeah?
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
15 questions, 15 friends
Tagged by @yelenasbuddie & @disasterbuckdiaz 🩵
Are you named after anyone?
First name: no. My mom just heard the name Tanis one day or knew someone named it and liked it and used it.
Middle name: yes. My grandma on my mom's side passed away about 2 weeks before I was born, and so we share a middle name.
When was the last you cried?
Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. I had intense breakdowns all three of those nights. Cried for like an hour straight on Monday.
Do you have kids?
Nope. And never will.
What sports you play/have played?
T-Ball, baseball, and soccer. And then I had to stop because my body is a piece of shit...
Do you use sarcasm?
James literally told me no more sarcasm last night...so....
What is the first thing you notice about people?
Smile, usually.
What is your eyes colour?
Blue!
Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings. Don't watch scary movies.
Any talents?
Does writing count? Nah, I'm untalented. EDIT: I’ve been yelled at multiple times that writing is my talent so there. Writing.
Where were you born?
A hospital in the next town over from where I was raised since my hometown is so tiny we have nothing of that sort.
What are you hobbies?
Writing. Photography. Drawing. Painting.
Do you have any pets?
Not living with me. Back at my mom's house, I have my cat.
How tall are you?
Errr.....5'3?? I'm short.
Favourite subject in the school?
Y'all, I went to such a welfare high school. We were offered like nothing. But then grade 12 I experienced geography and fell in love.
Dream job?
Geographer who goes places and takes ice or soil cores and studies them. Because it's just so freaking cool.
NP tagging: @diazsdimples, @hippolotamus, @actualalligator, @actuallyitsellie, @fortheloveofbuddie, @daffi-990, @devirnis, @smilingbuckley, @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming, @theotherbuckley, @spotsandsocks, @jesuisici33, @monsterrae1, @evanbegins, @loserdiaz, and honestly anyone else who wants to do it! 🩵
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
my grandfather passed away on friday.
this is not the upsetting thing actually. he was 86 years old, not in good health and had been ready to shuffle off the mortal coil since grandma passed in 2017. i was not surprised at all and relieved he passed comfortably at home.
the upsetting thing is the family drama with my uncle's wife.
she insisted to post about him being in the hospital monday and that's how my two older cousins learned grandpa was becoming imminent.
than she had the audacity to text my mother the day after her father died to ask if i knew because she wanted to be the one to announce it.
knowing full well my aunt -- her husband's older sister -- had been their father's caregiver since grandma passed on and deserved the right to announce it.
this is after forcing my aunt to have to call me and my eldest cousin at ass o'clock in the morning to make sure we knew before her sister in law could muscle in (we both work night hours).
like, it's fucking facebook and this is someone's death. that side of the family isn't that big but my grandpa was well loved and cared for by a lot of people so let them learn he has passed away from an actual person.
it's just repulsive behavior.
in conclusion this is why her daughter is a #bossbabe and posts her children obsessively to social media. her mother is constantly in competition with her image and she absorbed that.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lost: Heirloom Ring
@flashfictionfridayofficial I did this sort of story years ago for Writer's Month and to my surprise it got more interest than normal for me; I wonder what will happen this time?
10:27PM
You didn’t tell me you got home so I’m hoping that means you forgot and not that you were in an accident or something.
I got home
Okay
10:38PM
I don’t even want to tell you this.
What?
10:50PM
I lost the ring – It could literally be anywhere – What am I going to tell Grandma?
Okay don’t – Sorry I didn’t mean to hit send there. I mean this in the nicest way possible but don’t be dramatic. It couldn’t literally be anywhere.
I mean basically – I made the most stops possible on the way home – I got gas twice because the first place was expensive and I got a coffee so I needed an extra bathroom stop – It could be any of those places – I should have left it on my finger. Then I would at least know when it went missing
Or it could have fallen off your finger and rolled down a storm drain. Breathe, okay?
Grandma is going to kill me
Grandma is not going to kill you
She might disown me
Uh, no
She might hate me for the rest of her life and then come back and haunt me
Oh my god. Get back to me when you’re calm enough to remember what Grandma is like.
Ha ha ha ha – Can you at least kind of sympathize? I LOST THE RING
Yes I got that. I have an idea. Where were all those places you stopped?
The usual. The Wawa halfway, that Little River Coffee Co, the usual rest stop, and that last Sheetz before home. Don’t tell me to go back to all of them and look
Of course not
Grandma would call that a fool’s errand
That much driving? It would be a fool’s *quest*. Nope, I’m going to post about it and tag them all
Oh – How are you going to tag a rest stop?
I’m going to tag the Department of Transportation
Jess Kalin
Monday, 8:15AM
Yesterday, at brunch with my little sister Ella at the amazing Back Door, my grandma gave each of us a piece of jewelry that belonged to our mother (who you may know passed away a few years ago). To me, the pearl necklace she wore for her senior picture and graduation. To Ella, a gold ring studded with tiny emeralds– green being Mom’s and Ella’s shared favorite color. The ring was a tiny bit big for Ella, so she tucked it in her pocket.
After her seven-hour drive home, Ella found the ring was gone.
We are hoping against hope it can be found where she stopped along the way. I’ll drop the exact locations in the comments. @Wawa, @Sheetz, @LittleRiverCoffeeCompany, @VirginiaDepartmentOfTransportation can anyone help us?
Virginia Department of Transportation Not Responding to Comments About Missing Ring
Monday, 3:51PM
The Virginia Department of Transportation has turned off comments on a post on their Facebook page asking if they will help in the search for a missing ring.
Yesterday afternoon, the Department was tagged in a post by Facebook user Jess Kalin. Kalin’s sister, Ella, apparently lost a ring, a family heirloom that had just been passed down to her, on an interstate drive. The now-viral post led Facebook user Lisa Kowalski to post on the Department of Transportation’s page requesting they help with the search for the ring. The post garnered dozens of comments in a few hours…
7:16PM
Hey, isn’t the Back Door the restaurant you really like with the pierogis on the brunch menu?
Yeah, why?
There’s this article about this whole thing with a missing ring and the DOT. I just thought it was interesting the ring apparently got given to the person in the first place at the Back Door (link)
Oh my god
Back Door Restaurant
Monday, 8:27AM
FOUND: Ring. By the table one back from the window on the wall by the parking lot. (Pic is of the table we mean.) Describe to claim. Please spread the news if you know someone who was here yesterday, it’s a beautiful ring and we’re sure the owner wants it back!
Missing Ring Safe and Sound, “Most People Want to Help”
Tuesday, 12:01PM
A ring thought to have been dropped somewhere on the long drive from eastern Virginia to western North Carolina has been found.
The ring was given to Ella Kalin by her grandmother, Betty Sorochman, at popular brunch restaurant the Back Door on Sunday. When Kalin arrived home that evening, she discovered the ring was missing and assumed she must have lost it on the drive, prompting her sister Jess to take to Facebook.
Jess Kalin’s plea for help went viral. The manager of the Wawa where Ella stopped contacted Jessica, promising to alert her if the ring was found there. The Virginia Department of Transportation’s Facebook page received an influx of comments asking them to search for the ring at the rest stop where Ella Kalin stopped; the Department did not respond.
However, the ring had never left the restaurant. Employees at the Back Door found the ring Sunday and made a Facebook post Monday morning asking their followers to spread the news to help find the ring’s owner. Marya Logan is the follower who recognized the possible connection to the viral post about the missing ring. She contacted Jess Kalin and sent her the Back Door’s post. Jess confirmed the ring must be her sister’s.
Betty Sorochman went to the restaurant to reclaim the ring, which she will return to Ella. The ring originally belonged to Sorochman’s daughter Kimberly, Jess and Ella’s mother. Kimberly (Sorochman) Kalin passed away in 2019. Sorochman says she would love the story of the lost and found ring. “Kimmie loved a good story, so it’s only fitting now there’s one about her ring,” Sorochman says. “And she always said most people want to help, so if she found out how many people stepped in to help find her ring, she’d say, ‘See, I knew it’.”
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
My mom’s oldest sister, my aunt D, died early Monday morning. I feel weird about it because she’d been in poor health for so long and she’d been living in assisted living, before being put on hospice a week ago so on the one hand it’s a relief. But on the other, I’m feeling guilty for not going to see her. She lived about an hour and a half away. It wasn’t that I *didn’t* want to see her; life just kept getting in the way. And now…🥺💔
She was the oldest child on my mom’s side. When my grandfather died suddenly in 1963, my grandmother was in shock. D did all the driving for the family for a couple months. She was only 16 then, and Grandpa had taught her how to drive a few months before. She was always a very independent woman. She graduated from college in 1969, and worked in education for a while, for the state. She lost her hearing as an adult, and worked in deaf services for years. She never really learned ASL; we could talk to her face to face so she could lip read. Both her sons, my cousins, are really good guys. They loved her dearly. This is going to be extra hard for them.
Mom and her remaining siblings (it’s so weird to say that) will, I think, be okay. But it’s going to be a massive adjustment. My aunt K, the second oldest, is taking it harder than the others. She’s only 18 months younger than D and the 3 youngest kids (my mom sandwiched in between her brothers) are 7+ years younger. K grew up with D; they were the “oldest”, and after losing their dad young they really helped Grandma cope. Later this week is the anniversary of Grandma’s passing. K’s birthday is next week. I just feel so badly for her, and all of them.
Feeling meh. My sinuses kicked up last week, so I’m in month three of dealing with snot, a runny nose, and carrying around a box of tissues. And while going to aunt D’s visitation and funeral was always going to happen, I told Mister that I’ve already gone to one funeral this year (my bestie’s, in January), and now here’s another. It’s just a lot. I know it’s a tall order, but can the rest of 2024 PLEASE not totally suck? I expect some level of suckage, but gimme a break.
Good things: Jonas keeps growing. And since we’re in official Fake Spring here in the Midwest, he can play outside a lot. Sunshine is good. I didn’t mind the snowstorm on Friday (practically all of it’s gone now, ha), because we needed the moisture. His birthday is coming in a couple weeks and because we’re crazy we’re having a little party for him outside. Under a pavilion at the local farm, which he LOVES. Hopefully it won’t be pouring buckets of rain that Saturday. Winter! You never know what happens here! ❄️🌱🌞🌧️
Oh, and I officially registered Jonas for preschool this autumn so he’ll need to be potty trained by August. Send help 😄
One of these days, I want to update my dormant fics. But it’s not because I’ve lost interest that they’re dormant…I can barely find time to get normal stuff done.
I want to end on a good note. Hmmmm, Downton Abbey is coming back!? Well, I’ll take it 😊
Love you all. Drink water, hug your loved ones, and get out in the sunshine when you can.
#thoughts#random#life#real life#grief#family#funerals#2024#strong women#february#jonas#weather#winter#spring#snow#sunshine#love
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
my grandma died yesterday. She was a very beautiful person that lived nearly 90 years. I loved Mema with all my heart. She was a very funny and thoughtful person, my mom is not funny at all so we always said that I got my humor from Mema. My wife and I had Mema Mondays where we went over to her house after work and brought her dinner for the week and hung out and watched TV with her. We'd watch the Voice if it were in season and Mema and I would playfully argue about the contestants with each other it was a lot of fun. Failing that we usually just watched Hogan's Heroes or Family Feud or just whatever was on the Hallmark channel with her. And we'd chit chat and tell her all about our week complain about work to her. Luckily my wife and I did visit her the day before (it was a monday after all) so it was quite a shock to her that she passed away the next day but at least I know that my last words to her were "I love you."
I already miss her a lot and what really hurts is when I think of all the traditions that are broken now. Like going over to her house early on Thanksgiving and making her banana pancakes for breakfast and putting the parade on while we prepare everything else for thanksgiving. My wife and I matched on a dating app on her birthday (which would have been next month) and that's when we started talking to each other so it was our initial anniversary was Mema's birthday. And after I proposed I called my mom (who never answers her phone) and when she didn't answer I called Mema. So the first person I shared the big news with was Mema. That's how close we were. And she's gone now and I'll always miss her.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
❤️ TW: mental health and death ❤️
So Monday will be the one year anniversary since my grandma passed away. I was 19 and I watched my grandma die in hospice. Nobody told me what to expect and I still hear the “death rattle” that she had, in my head most days. And it’s the most traumatising thing I’ve ever been through (which is a lot since I’ve been exposed to DA as a child and other shit)
I’ve been struggling really bad this week. I don’t know why because it’s not like she can come back but I’m scared and I don’t know why. I just want Monday to be over.
I also have a girl whose been a really shitty friend to me this year (for various reasons that I won’t get into since it’ll take all night) and because of her and my experiences I don’t feel like I can reach out to my other friends.
I’ve been crying practically non stop since 5pm and although I don’t think I will act on it, I’ve been getting thoughts of hurting myself for the first time in almost 4 years.
I don’t expect anybody to do anything about it, but I thought I’d just vent
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
A few irl stuff that happened under the cut
As some of you might know my grandma passed away on Friday and it has been pretty shitty since then. we had the funeral on Monday and some stuff happened from there: I almost got into a fight with one of my cousin during the funeral, because I heard her say, why wasn’t I celebrating the whole thing, like Christians do, and my uncle stood up for me, saying that I am an atheist and nonetheless, I was there for my family and for my grandma.
Not that I had to explain it to her, but I was there not to sing songs and pay my tribute to God or whatever I was there to speak to my grandma. I now know she is finally in peace wherever she is.
I thought of sharing this because I felt so angry that someone was saying to me that I don’t care about my grandma and the fact that she died because I’m not a believer and that’s not how it works. Even if you don’t believe in something you still care about your relatives, and the people who you loved that passed away. 
#I felt so angry and sad when I heard those words#like their first thought was not a relative that passed away but my religion#which is nonsense honestly and pretty infuriating#dl#death tw#tw death
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m coming back!
Details below~
October - early January is always difficult for me. As some of you may know, when I was 17 my grandpa passed away and it kind of turned my life upside down? Things were already rough because of the stress leading up to his passing
Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of my grandpa passing away and honestly, that’s what makes it difficult. He died Jan. 12 2014, and by October my grandma had escalated in what can only be described as emotional abuse. It was hard, school bullying made it harder, and by October I admitted myself into the local hospital due to depression and spiralling thoughts ( I was 18 by then which made me ineligible for the school resources unfortunately ). I got help and I’ve been a lot better since, but October always tends to set off some seasonal depression for me that fluctuates and I find it difficult to maintain a dash presence. I’m passed the hurdle now I think, my mood has been better despite my grandma’s negativity and the dark cloud has lifted for another year I think.
I’m okay, I’m fine, I just wasn’t in the headspace for logging onto my computer every day and formatting big long replies, queueing things etc.
I’m really grateful to all the moots who write with me on Discord and keep me company, you guys are the best. I’m working al this weekend and a little 3 hour shift on Monday and then I have 4 days off consecutively so I’m hoping to use that time to reboot my blogs.
I love you guys, talk to you all soon!
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Soo I realised I just dropped off the face of the earth after saying my grandma was at the hospital.
Well, things got really bad really quickly. That night, Sunday, they did operate her and we got a call that she made it through just fine at shortly before midnight.
But then on Monday morning my mom called me to tell me my grandma wouldn't make it through the day anymore. I had the option to say goodbye to her one last time but she wasn't really conscious and on all sort of wires so I said I couldn't do it. That just couldn't be the last image I had of her in my head.
Barely 3 hours later my mom called to tell me she's gone.
And this was really hard on me. It came so sudden, there was never a thought that this would be it, there was always the thought "Oh we'll do this with her when she's back home."
My grandma was a big part of my every day life. For 7 years now I've done her weekly grocery shopping with or for her. I spent lunch breaks with her if she had an appointment near my work. I cooked and ate with her at least once a month. Sometimes I'd pick her up to go eat because we were both alone at home. The other day I passed the place we would eat at, and had to quickly walk away because I had to cry at the thought that I would never eat there again with her.
But what's getting to me the worst is that after this festival was through, when I could go on vacation again, we wanted to go to Vienna together. She said she's always wanted to go but never got to with my grandpa. So we agreed that we'd start planning in Fall. It really pains that I couldn't give her this.
Work is stressful, it's hard to lose someone who's been such a big part of your daily routine. So I'm actually only working on like medium heat right now.
These past three days, I've grabbed a friend and attended three concerts in three different cities and it's really helped blow off steam. The shouting, the dancing...also Kristen's SNL episode couldn't have come at a better time.
We're all a bit lost right now. I officially don't have grandparents anymore before ai turn 30 and I'm honestly having a hard time dealing with that because all of my sisters and cousins got so much more time with our grandparents. Ironically, or maybe it's a sign idk, the funeral will be held on the 8th anniversary of my grandpa's death and she will be reunited with him officially.
#my therapy? spending too much money at ikea and leaving a fortune at the concerts#but it made me feel a bit better and it occupied me so be it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝓘𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 //James Hetfield
"The house next door was just sold, i hope the new neighbour will be nice."
part two of ? part one
disclaimers : smut, age gap (modern day james), slow burn shit, smoking, probably drinking, anyway big girls shit kids dni. (warnings will be more specific when smut will be there)
Wattpad link
࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐
Chapter 2 - Sold
It was the middle of the day at work. I was sweeping the entrance of the pharmacy down in the aisles. The medicines reminded me too much of my mom. Everybody would be wondering how the hell I am working at a pharmacy if it reminds me too much about my mom. I didn't get it to make myself miserable on purpose. I needed the job. It's truly not what I want to do with my life. It was just necessary. I was always getting my mom's medication from here. I was there part time even before being a part timer here. I just got the job because Pamela and I get along well.
Pamela is the owner of the pharmacy. She has known my grandparents for years, and she got to know my mom too before she died. It's just as monotone as it sounds. She took pity on me and all the money I would have to get for the only people I had left and one Monday morning I was there, sweeping the floor.
"-Ann !" shouted Pamela.
I was gone too far in my mind. Fuck.
"-Oh! I'm sorry Pam!" i said, stressed.
"- Well sorry for scaring you Ann, but please be more aware of your surroundings." she said, pointing to the bottles that fell down the shelves while i was in my thoughts.
Always on the moon or somewhere around. That's my thing. My life is not so exciting, there's not a lot going on for me and I spend most my time worrying about my grandmother's health. It's only natural that I started daydreaming more and more. Pamela made the remark multiple times in the past two weeks. That's never a lot, I daydream here and there when my mind needs to get out. I daydream mostly about my mom, her hugging me tightly and telling me everything's gonna be okay. But sometimes I daydream about what I could do with my life if I wasn't so stressed of flying away and of showing who I am. I can't now anyway. Also sometimes, I daydream about sex. Hey, I'm a young woman with desires and needs. I'd love a good fuck from time to time, it would help me relax perhaps. But I don't want to do that with a random stranger who's not gonna know what the fuck they are doing. Sometimes I pray to pass along the way of the hottest man I would have ever seen and just know that he would make me grip the sheets. However, that's certainly not on my to do list now. Apart from taking care of my grandma, I don't really think there's anything more on this list anyway. It's funny because if my mom was here she would tell me with this sweet voice of hers "Have fun sweetheart! You're young and pretty, you should enjoy it!" She was pretty open about that, she gave me the whole discussion when I was 14. She said "Never too young!" I hope she understands, wherever she is that I'm not in the mood to look for that at the moment. If it comes, then the universe really wants me to get railed.
"- I'm sorry Pam." i apologies again.
"- Don't apologise, put that back." she says with a slight smile.
I swear sometimes this woman gets on my nerves. Even more lately, I don't know what is going on with her but I'm tired of this passive aggressive tone.
Fuck it.
I put the broom aside and I kneel down to fix the shelf. "You are aware of your surroundings Ann." I repeat myself this sentence over and over while I put the stuff back on the shelf. I couldn't see around me as I was focused on the shelf but I definitely knew what was going on around me. Pamela was on the phone with a customer. I heard the bell of the door ring, somebody's there. I heard the sound of their footsteps going to the counter. I don't think they noticed me. Pamela saw them and hung up the phone. Her attention was on the costumer. I still have to organise the tags, Pamela can take care of the customer, I can go back to my business. Still, I'm a curious cat, I can listen to their conversation and still do my job right?
"- Good afternoon sir. How may I help you?" Pam asked.
"- Well, I just need something for my migraines." the customer said.
Their voice.
Fuck.
"- Well I have Advil, Tylenol, Excedrin is stronger. Otherwise it's on prescription, if the pain is persistent i'd advise you to see a doctor sir. That's all I can get you." said Pamela in a serious tone.
"- There's a time I would have solved it with a bottle of Jack!" he joked. "Give me Excedrin man, that'll be fine."
Pamela bagged the medicine and the customer paid and was heading out the store. At the same moment, i stood up. My surroundings. Fuck. I bumped into the customer.
"- Shit!... I apologise sir!" i said rapidly, knowing Pam was about to kill me.
The customer helped me to get my balance back. They quickly put their hand on my arm to help me and put it away as soon as if they didn't know if I was comfortable being touched.
Their hand... This hand.
I think the tattoo on it will stay engraved on my mind forever.
"- It's okay." he said.
Again. This voice.
I looked up at them.
I had never seen such a beautiful man. He was stunning. I have never felt something like that, mostly towards someone older. The blue eyes, the well trimmed hair, the tats. He was older but he could beat any guy my age. Here he was, the hottest man I had ever crossed my path with. I was looking at his eyes. So was he.
"- Sorry for that sir. Have a nice rest of your day." said Pamela, getting me out of my fixation.
"- No problem man! Goodbye... Ann." he smiled looking at my badge.
"- Goodbye." i said, startled.
He smiled at me one last time and got out.
"- Ann i swear. I understand that you can be out sometimes with everything going on for you but you really need to focus." she said, obviously pissed off. "Mostly with people like him." she added.
"- What do you mean?" i asked.
"- You didn't recognise him?" she said like it was obvious.
"- No. Who's he?"
Pam walked back behind the counter, smirking, happy she knew something i didn't.
"- Whatever Pam. I have to go."
I was finished with my work, i was exhausted and i needed to go home. I'll get Pam to tell me who was this guy on my next shift.
In the short drive I had to go home, I still had the time to think about this man. It's not about who he could be, but this encounter. Something was in the air, I could tell when he looked at me. Maybe it was just my mind. And maybe it's because I'm touch depraved but the way his hand touched me was electric. God I'm so horny. But there also was something so peaceful and calm about this. Argh! Whatever, I guess he will just wander in my mind from time to time before I realise it was just a normal encounter between two people and I was down bad for nothing.
When I arrived home, I looked over at the house next door. The open house sign was covered.
"SOLD"
࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐
A/N : writing slow burn makes me as horny and delusional than it makes me want to throw my head against a wall. Chapter 3 is done anyway. Love <3
#james hetfield#james hetfield fanfiction#james hetfield smut#metallica fanfiction#metallica#metallica smut
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
⚠️Trigger Warning ⚠️
My grandma passed away Monday im not doing to good so my blog might be getting a little darker for the time being it was to sudden & I'm really upset cause I didnt get to speak to her before she passed. I don't know what to do or how to cope right now everything just seems so dark.
I hate this Im trying to be strong for her but I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything i just wanna lay in bed
#tw purge#eating disoder things#ana low cal#low cal meal#tw ana diary#tw restriction#ana body check#anaroxic#bing eating#eatin disorder things#ana relapse#just wanna be thin#thins0#@n0r3xia#⭐️rving#i want to ⭐️ve#ana&mia#th!n$piration#thigh g4p#urge to purge#purg1ng#i wanna be skinnier#bulimina
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Prayer requests for week of February 19, 2024
1. Breana: I am struggling with my faith. I love God but
I need help getting to a place where I am trusting
him thru thick & thin. Would you pray for me please.
2. Ann: PIease pray for my Grandpa. He has been
diagnosed with cancer and as concerning as
that is, I am even more fearful because he has
not accepted Jesus as his Lord & Savior. So I
asking for prayer on two fronts. That Grandpa
would be fully healed and that he would be saved.
Pray for a double miracle!
3. Jimmy: PRAISE REPORT & PRAYER REQUEST:
Hello brothers & sisters in Christ! I look forward
every Monday to receiving the SoupMobile prayer
requests. It is truly a blessing to be able to pray
for folks who need it. My reason for writing today
is a combo praise report & prayer request. This
coming March 14th is my 2nd year anniversary of
being off kidney Dialysis! This was a miracle the
doctors could not explain, but you & I know this
happened because of God's divine intervention.
I am humbly asking that you pray that I will never
need dialysis again! Also please pray for my dear
brother & sister in Christ, Jami & Jerry, they're both
bravely fighting cancer! Also pray for the SoupMan,
pray God blesses his work & gives him the
resources & strength to keep his ministry going
strong! Amen!
4. Christian: Please pray that I will be accepted into
Medical School so I can fulfill my dream to be a
blessing and a healer, and all the while, giving
all the glory to God.
5. William: PRAISE REPORT & PRAYER REQUEST:
My Grandma passed away two weeks ago, and I
know she is in heaven. Please pray for the entire
family to feel the Lord's peace. Also, I previously
requested prayers for my father who is dealing
with Stage 4 cancer. Praise the Lord that the
prayers are working, and he is doing much
better now. I deeply appreciate all the prayers
from the SoupMobile Prayer Warriors.
6. Laci: I am a fellow Prayer Warrior but today I am
in need of all the amazing prayer warriors to
help me out. My older brother has been stuck
in a mentally, physically, and emotionally
abusive relationship. Please pray that he seeks
the Lord's guidance during these troubled times.
Please pray for the Lord's touch to be upon him..
7. Alyson: I am asking for prayer for my nephew,
Robert. He has been having trouble swallowing
without pain. He has an upcoming appointment
with the doctor, and he really needs your prayers.
Thank you all for caring.
8. Pam: Please pray for me as I deal with deep
depression and a real sense of sadness. Pray
the Lord will fill me with his very essence, and
I will be free from this overwhelming depression.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fabio Quartararo- Comfort
A/n: there are mentions of death in this part so if that will affect you don't read this part
My life has changed so much in the last month but not in a good way I've been really struggling to cope with everything going on but I've been keeping all my struggles to myself because I don't want to seem like I'm not grateful for the life I have and my problems are just so insignificant compared to other people. There is so many things that I know I'm so lucky to have like a beautiful house and a supportive boyfriend that it feels wrong to complain about things when other people have it so much harder which is why I keep my problems to myself until they resolve themselves. Letting everything build up in reality has been a bad idea as it's playing on my mind more and more and is starting to become too much to deal with.
Getting home from work today I made it about two feet from the door before just sliding down the wall letting my bag fall off my shoulder without any care as I put my knees up and hid my face in them as tears began to well in my eyes. It is Monday and I've been working all day as well as all weekend because I've just got so much to do since having to take over the work of a colleague who left until they find a replacement. Although I'm at home I still have to do more work as I have deadline for the morning which is stressing me out as everything is nowhere near done. All weekend all I wanted to was just be at home and be able to watch Fabio race seeing as I couldn't be there in person but I just had no time to the point that I had to look up the result to be able to congratulate him in a phone call that lasted less than a minute as I had to hang up and get back to work.
Not having Fabio around hasn't helped me feel any better either as on Wednesday last week after he had left I got a call from my mum that my grandad had died which really hit me hard but I had to push it aside to be able to get on with work. No one knows what exactly I've been going through as the person I would talk to has been away for the past two weeks at a race and we've both just been so busy that there is no good time to bring it up that we would have enough time to talk as much as I know he would want to. I know Fabio is going to feel bad that he hasn't been here to support me when he gets home and I finally tell him which only makes me feel worse as I hate keeping things from him and I don't want him to be upset too because I don't think I can handle that.
Once I had taken a few minutes to get myself together I got up and put my shoes where they usually go and took my things to my little office upstairs to try and finish my work before I inevitably fall asleep at my desk like I've done every day for the past two weeks. Just as I got into the groove and was starting to make real progress my phone started ringing with a call from my mum which I thought about not answering but she knows how busy I've been so wouldn't call unless there was something she needed to talk to me about. Answering the call turned out to be the worst decision I've made in a very long time which is saying something as some of my decisions have been questionable, she had called to tell me that my grandma had just passed earlier in the day. My phone slipped out of my hand and fell on my desk as soon as those words left her mouth it was like another part of my heart and been ripped out, my grandparents were my childhood and I loved them so much and to know both of them were gone really hurt.
When my grandad passed I was upset but I was hanging onto the fact that my grandma was still around because it meant that all of those memories still lived on but now she's gone too it's all hitting me all at once like they are really both gone and I'll never get to talk to them again or have them meet the kids I want to have in the future. It hurt even more to know that I never got to tell them I loved them one last time nor will I get to say goodbye because I won't be able to go to the funeral due to restrictions. Some of my favourite memories from my childhood involve both of my grandparents which will live on in my brain and the photo albums I have but I won't be able to make any new memories to fill the pages I left for pictures from my wedding and when I have kids of my own, those pages will forever just have their heading and no photos to fill them.
While thinking and crying my eyes out I had absentmindedly gathered all the things that reminded me of my grandparents or contained pictures of them and piled them around me on the floor. Looking at all the pictures of me with them when I was little only made me cry harder as those days played through my mind again, I was so innocent then no worries or heartbreak in my life oh what I wouldn't give to go back to a time like that and just enjoy life again but sadly that's not how life works. I came across one picture which really pulled at my heartstrings it was from the first time Fabio and I went to England together and he met all of my family, we spent one day with my grandparents and took them out to lunch as well as went out for a walk by the beach and before we left they both told me how much they loved Fabio and that I made a good choice dating him which at the time made me so happy as they had never said that about any of my previous boyfriends but now it just makes me sad that they won't get to see us both again. That's what really tipped me over the edge and made me push away all the memories and let uncontrollable sobs take over my body.
Fabio's POV
Finally after two weeks I get to come home and see y/n who I've missed more than anything while I've been gone especially as we haven't talked as much as I would have wanted to but I know she's been super busy with work. When I pulled up in the driveway I saw her car was in the drive which meant she was home but when I opened the door all of the lights were off and it was silent downstairs, I called her name to try and find out where she was but there was no answer. Because she didn't answer I knew she was probably upstairs in her office working as it's the furthest place from the door and really quiet so she wouldn't have heard me call her name. Going upstairs I saw the light to her office on but as I got closer all I could hear was crying which only got louder the closer I got until it was obvious that she was sobbing, hearing it broke my heart because until now I haven't been here to support her and help her through whatever's wrong which is something I said to myself I would always do even while away.
Straight away I opened the door and saw her sat on the floor surrounded by photo albums and other things as she cried into her knees and her whole body shook from the sobs. Just looking at her broke my heart even more because I've never seen her this upset the whole time we've been together the closest she's gotten to being this upset was the time she was anxious to meet my extended family but didn't tell me and let it build up for weeks. Part of me couldn't help but feel like this was somewhat my fault as I've been away for two weeks and not tried to get her to talk more when now looking back it's obvious been pushing herself away and needed to share something but felt she couldn't. I'm such an idiot for not doing anything even when I questioned why she wasn't wanting to stay up on FaceTime all night like she usually does when I'm away I mean it was just so glaringly obvious she was acting so differently and I was so caught up in racing that I neglected to think about her.
I pushed my thoughts aside and gently moved everything around her so I could sit next to her, right away she leant over and began to cry into my chest. She gripped onto me around my waist like if she let go I would disappear so I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her gently rubbing her back to try and soothe her so we could talk about what was wrong. It took me a while to calm her down as everything I tried didn't seem to help but eventually I just started to talk to her about my weeks away and her crying began to stop as she just listened to me talk which I won't lie felt a little good because it meant that my voice was calming her. As much as I wanted to talk about what was wrong I knew I had to distract her more so that she wouldn't cry again the second I brought it up because I could see that happening in every other scenario. After a while of talking to her she seemed calm enough to be able to talk about what was going through her mind but I still wanted her to feel comfortable so I kept a tight hold on her and kissed her cheek before saying anything.
"Tell me what's going on love I know its hard but I can only help if I know" I said gently
"Life's just too much right now I've barely stopped working for the past two weeks because I've been covering while they find someone new and my grandad passed two weeks ago and now my grandma died today and I can't even go home for the funeral because of the stupid restrictions" she ranted as more tears fell from her eyes
Hearing all of that made me feel awful for her because she loved her grandparents so much and they were a big part of her childhood so for them to no longer be around and her to not be able to say goodbye must be killing her.
"Oh honey I'm so sorry I know how much you loved them but think about it now they can always be watching over you instead of sitting in another country waiting until they can see you again" I tried to reassure her
"But I'll never get to see them again and I never got to say goodbye or I love you one last time and they'll never get to come to our wedding or meet our kids" she cried
"They may not be able to be there in person but they will be with you the whole time if anything they will be able to be with you for more milestones in your life just not in person" I said hoping it would help even just a little bit
"Thank you that actually really helps" she whispered
We talked about it a little more and she explained how she had been feeling the entire time I was gone which really helped me to know what to do to make her feel better and help her deal with what she's going through. The first thing I wanted to do was remind her of some of the good memories she has with her grandparents so that the good times replace the sadness she's feeling. I picked up one of the photo albums and flicked through it with her letting her explain when all of them were taken as well as the good memories she has from those times, it didn't take long for a small smile to appear on her face and for her to be laughing about the funny memories she has with her grandparents. Just seeing her beautiful smile lifted my mood but I know that not every day will be like this but as long as I can be here to help her get through the tough times then she will be smiling just as much as she usually is.
Your POV
Fabio arrived home and I told him how I have been feeling which was hard to do but it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders once I had, he was really sweet and let me talk as much as I wanted. We also looked through the photo albums I got out and he got me to talk about the good memories I have which really helped because it stopped me think about what my grandparents will miss and more about what I've got to experience with them. He completely changed my mindset from being overly focussed on the negatives to trying to look at things from a more positive point of view which make dealing with everything a little bit easier.
Our conversation ended leaving us sat in silence for a few moments before Fabio picked me up over his shoulder and walked into the bathroom where he sat me on the counter and began to run a bath. When the bath was ready he got me a towel as well as some sweatpants and one of his hoodie to put on afterwards instead of the uncomfortable work clothes I currently had on, so got in the bath right away and let the water relax my muscles which were all tense from crying and bottling up my emotions the last two weeks. While in the bath I let my mind drift back to everything that has been plaguing my existence for the past few weeks which made more tears fall from my eyes and that's how I knew I had to get out of the bath and go and find Fabio to get back in his arms where I feel safe.
I got out and walked downstairs to see that Fabio had made dinner and put a load of blankets on the sofa for us to cuddle under, when he saw me his arms went around my waist right away and he kissed both of my cheeks before kissing my lips which I couldn't help but smile at. We sat down together and ate the dinner he had made and once we finished he took all the dishes to wash them up which he wouldn't let me help with so I stayed sat on the sofa and eventually when he came back he was holding two bowls with ice cream one of which he handed to me. The ice cream got devoured in minutes and the bowls just got left on the coffee table as we got under the blankets and Fabio turned on the tv so we could watch a movie. Right away he put on my favourite film and chucked the remote out of the way before laying down and pulling me with him so that he was laying behind me on the sofa, I snuggled into him as his arms went around my waist to hold me closer if that was even possible. Being in his arms felt so nice and comforting after not having him around the the last few weeks just to have him next to me and be able to kiss him felt so good and brought me back to my comfortable place which is basically just anywhere with Fabio.
For the rest of the night we stayed on the sofa with him playing with my hair or gently drawing shapes on my side which made me sleepier and sleepier the longer he did it for. The movie had barely ended when my eyes started to try and close but I fought back so that I could enjoy a bit more time with Fabio but it was getting harder and harder by the second. He must have noticed my struggle to stay awake because he picked me up and carried me upstairs to our bedroom putting me down on the bed and getting in next to me. We got back into the same position we were in on the sofa but this time before settling in Fabio leant over and kissed me gently before whispering a quick goodnight and I love you in my ear. Almost right away I let sleep consume me and finally for the first time in a while I got a good night sleep because everything wasn't plaguing my mind if anything I had pushed it all to the back of my mind and was just enjoying having Fabio home which turned out to be what I needed the most this entire time.
#fabio quartararo fluff#fabio quartararo x reader#Fabio Quartararo#MotoGP#motogp imagines#motogp one shots#motogp fluff
33 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ruck-bay
Ruck Bay
the-hurt-soul
A really complicated mind
taiwan3500
台灣3500捐工協會
precpezurent
Untitled
imlunar
lmao