#or cries?

[searchingwardrobes]

The morning a comment made me cry . . .

I have been wrestling with posting this for ages. On the one hand, I want to let people who follow my fanfic to know that I haven’t left. On the other, I am an INFJ, an introvert, and a highly sensitive person who never wants to feel like I’m bothering people or whining about my life. Everyone has problems, everyone is busy, am I right? But then last week, I woke up to a comment on Ao3 for a fic that I wrote years ago, and I ended up sitting at my kitchen table and crying.

It wasn’t just the comment. It was that I had just spent the last night in the house we have lived in for the last 17 years. The house each of my children came home from the hospital to. A house I honestly didn’t want to sell or leave. And it wasn’t like we were moving because we found our dream house or because a new job opportunity came up or anything like that. We sold our house because the church my husband just took a new job at has a parsonage, and that means we can live there rent free. You can’t pass that up from a financial standpoint. 

Even if the parsonage is way smaller. And darker. And filthy. And smells bad. And looks like the Byers house in Stranger Things AFTER monsters started coming out of the walls. (ie 80s but gross)

And what makes it harder is that people berate me every time I try to share how hard this is. “You can’t beat free.” I know, I know, but can’t anyone try to imagine how I’m feeling? If you were in my shoes, would it be easy? 

Anyways, so back to the comment. I’ve been doing this fanfic thing long enough that in some ways, the comment just made me roll my eyes. But it was kind of like the proverbial straw, you know? I had been trying to hold it together for days, and this mean comment pushed me over the edge. So there I was, crying at my kitchen table surrounded by moving boxes. 

To compound it all, I haven’t written much at all since November. Scratch that, more like October. This is frustrating because it’s something I love, and it also causes guilt over all my WIPs. But we decided to put the house on the market in early November, and our realtor said we needed to get it listed before Thanksgiving, so there was the frantic race of “decluttering” ie half-packing the house and a million and one little home repair projects and deep cleaning. Then the house was shown only four times, and we got an offer. Great, right? Only they wanted to move in TWO DAYS before Christmas. That was a hard no for me. So they comprised and said two days AFTER Christmas. Their offer was over the asking price, so we had to take it. 

But did I mention the parsonage isn’t livable yet? So yep, we have no home right now. (I won’t say homeless because that word means something very different and much more serious than what we’re going through.) I’ve slept in so many different places over the last week, that this morning I woke up and couldn’t remember where I was. 

Did I mention I also have three kids? 

If you’ve stuck with me so far, don’t worry, I won’t go into all the details. Just understand that our family of five (plus a dog) will soon be living in my aunt and uncle’s basement for possibly two months. While I homeschool. 

And now I feel like I’m whining again. I’m really not a whiner, I promise. I’m just trying to a) explain why I have disappeared for so long and b) why that negative Ao3 comment came at the absolute worst possible time. 

That comment was the least of my worries on that particular day, and a week later, I just don’t think it’s worth discussing. Maybe, though, this tale will help people remember to pause before they type something on the internet. Because the person you are addressing has a real life, and there is no way for you to know what they might be going through. I was actually a little happy when I saw the email because a nice comment would have been a bright spot in an otherwise tough day. Instead, it was a kick while I was already down. Comments have a lot of power for a creator. I wish they didn’t. I wish we all “just wrote for ourselves” or could brush it off easily. But writers are sensitive creatures as a rule, especially fanfic writers who are only doing it as a hobby, not for a career. So, you know, just stop and think for a sec. That’s all. And this comment served no purpose whatsoever. I wrote the fic so long ago, there’s no way I’m revising it. Ironically, the person ended the comment by saying, “Enjoying it so far, though.” Which rang totally false after their long list of what was wrong with the story. 

Side note: the comment has made me contemplate a post on writer’s tips for writing children well. I’m not just a homeschooling mom, I’m also a former teacher. People seem to seriously not realize this, but teachers have to take college courses on child and adolescent development. We are around children a lot, too, so (shock!) we actually are experts in the field. I don’t know - is that something anyone would be interested in as writers? Because you don’t have to be a parent to write kids well - @whimsicallyenchantedrose and @distant-rose are awesome at it, and they don’t have kids. So if you want tips on that, I’d love to share. It’s something I can kind of get on a soapbox about, lol. 

And as for my readers, I’ll tag you all so you know where the hell I’ve been. So here comes the tag list, and I’ll now shut up: 

@snowbellewells @teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @xhookswenchx @thisonesatellite @welllpthisishappening @spartanguard @ohmakemeahercules @tiganasummertree @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1 @jamif @undercaffinatednightmare @onceratheart18 @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1  @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @svenjaliv

#melanie rants #or cries? #haha #my real life #writers woes #the joys and struggles of fic writing #where i have been

[saint-soap]

???????????????? ????? ??????????

#googled this last night watching the finale because my friend asked me #cried laughing #survivor #furry #furries #mine

[redwolf17]

🙃 Regular reminder that while Hozier has amazing love songs, he is ALSO very outspoken about his leftist politics, specifically anti-fascism, anti-racism, reproductive rights, Palestinian rights and more.

Take Me To Church and Foreigner’s God are scathing critiques of organized religion, specifically the Catholic Church and the colonization of Ireland.

Moment’s Silence is about oral sex but it’s ALSO about how that specific sexual act is often distorted to a show of power rather than that of love.

Nina Cried Power is an homage to various (mostly Black) civil rights activists from the US and Ireland and a call to follow their path.

Be criticizes anti-migrant policies and Trump and his ilk.

Jackboot Jump is about the global wave of fascism and about protest and resistance.

Swan Upon Leda is about reproductive rights and the violent colonial oppression of Ireland and Palestine.

Eat Your Young is about the ruinous way the 1%/capitalism and arms dealers prioritize short-term profit over everything else to the detriment of the youth/99%

Butchered Tongue is about Irish and other indigenous languages being suppressed and erased by imperial powers.

If any of the above surprised you, please, please delve deeper into Hozier’s music, you’re missing such an important part of his work.

#Hozier #andrew hozier byrne #unreal unearth #take me to church #butchered tongue #jackboot jump #swan upon Leda #foreigner’s god #Nina cried power #eat your young #moment’s silence

[itsgonnagetinspiringsoon]

FUCK

#game changer #game changer season 6 #game changer spoilers #sam says #sam reich #lou wilson #jacob wysocki #vic michaelis #this is the worst thing I've ever seen actually #i almost cried #the sheer joy of Henry and the thought of not being allowed to see him #also sorry for the terrible quality of the video 😭 #pretty sure it's lagging badly but that's all i got 🥲

[greykolla-art]

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel comic #JESUS WEPT THIS FUCKING THING WAS A BEAST #BUT I LOVE IT! #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #Alastor #charlie morningstar #angst #hurt/comfort #whump art #I know what you people are I’m one of you! #I heard your cries for more angst and I aim to please! #also good excuse to use clip studio more #I only bust that out for something special #now let’s do something else! like eat!

[nighthawkes]

your daily walks wrapped

you soaked up 10,985 minutes of sunshine, rain, and other weather

you walked past 4,073 individuals you would describe as the most beautiful person in the world

you bore witness to 23% more of your local area than last year—good job!

you saw 3 of the weirdest dogs you will ever see in your life

you noticed 18 people visibly, tenderly in love with each other

you smelled 243 flowering plants & shrubs

you drank 267 delicious beverages

you were kissed invisibly and imperceptibly by 117 bumble bees and butterflies

you were witness to 87,441,289 gorgeous leaves

#inspired by real events today and every day this year #2023 #couple who was pushing a stroller at the curb divider in the middle of the avenue caught leaning in to kiss each other so lovingly that #i could have cried 💗 #lovecore

[honestlyobsessed]

#the amazing digital circus #gummigoo #memes #thats my boy #no my boy! #i cried #angst? #asdf movie

[akajustmerry]

the gofundmes for helping people get out of Palestine fill me with rage because AT BEST what we're doing is helping people be displaced in the safest way available to them that is the most profitable to a) corrupt Egyptian officials and b) gofundme itself. I'm so fucking furious that this is what it's come to. the world has failed to stop the Zionist genocide machine so profoundly that donating to gofundmes that will ultimately line the pockets of corrupt officials and technocrats is the most effective way to save the lives of Palestinians. Palestinians are right to never forgive. Inshallah Palestine will be free and Israel's genocidal state will perish in this lifetime. Donate to Gaza Funds. Whatever you can spare.

#palestine #I've cried about this 3 times today #/

[batbabydamian]

in the guard's defense, fire ants sting 😔

#damian wayne #talia al ghul #batbabyart #babian #the guard got Damian the ant farm as an apology lol #this was originally grayscale but then dabbled with colors for Damian's clothes and i cried when he looked like a lil green pea... #a lima bean baby...

[coffeenonsense]

"astarion is a traumatized abuse victim who deserves kindness" and "astarion is a mean rat bastard man who would rip out your throat for a corn chip if he felt like it" are two statements that can and should coexist

#the duality of vampire #i love our vampling as much as the next person #but fundamentally he's a bitchy self serving little gremlin and that facet of his character should be explored more #it's fun when he cries AND when he's evil okay i can have both #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[samuelroukin]

call me a jealous hater but it makes me so mad that i will never ever be able to sleep as comfortably as a little kitty cat, there's too many bones in me!! even at my most comfy i will never get on their level

#like if you cried 😔 #ben.txt #edit to say yes i know they actually have more bones than us (230 vs 206 roughly)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

#I looked at a photo of an absurdly tiny baby glass frog this morning and cried do you guys want to see it

[newttxt]

“ain’t no one born into this world to be alone!”

happy birthday, robin!!! 🌸

#one piece #nico robin #not tagging the others bc… thats still technically her #wahhhhhh my fave one piece character #robin my bias only increased #also fun fact i cried both times i saw this robin fight bc im an emotional sap

[officialspec]

its definitely funny when marcille gets a little mean with it but its so important to me that they are also Best Friends

#also marcille is a known glomper i needed to draw something about it #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmesh #laios touden #laius thorden #marcille donato #my art #genuinely cried abt them while i was reading a couple times. theyre friends!!!!!!!!! #in general i think ppl make marcille a bit too mean. shes just a femme with haterism tendencies we all know one

[lalalychee]

i'm so, so excited to share this painting with you. i have officially been making art for 20 years, and i thought it would be fun to repaint the first digital work i ever made.

i have wanted to give up art so many times over the years. i'm tremendously proud of myself for sticking with it and improving as much as i have. i hope you're proud of me too! please be sure to zoom in to see all those details i worked so hard on (especially the rhinestones!!). thank you for being with me during my art journey. 20 years, 20 more 🖤

#my art #art #painting #digital art #realism #photorealism #anime #self portrait #angel #art improvement #2024 art improvement #idk like my painting i spent a hundred years on it and also cried because it was so hard

[toxiccaves]

I like Link’s new weird dog

#legend of zelda #zelda #link #totk #tears of the kingdom #zelda spoilers #totk spoilers #doodle #comic #no one say NOTHIN i havent beat the game yet i just got the sword n memory cutscenes n cried a lot