Hoy soñé que me atracaba con pizza, Dios mío, fue una pesadilla horrible, estuvo algo así:
No sé porque pero compraba 3 rebanadas de pizza, comenzaba a comerlas y honestamente en mi sueño ni siquiera les tomaba sabor, eran tan insípidas, era como comer tierra o alguna cosa sin sabor alguno, pero lo que más me marcó fue el sentimiento que experimenté en mi sueño: un sentimiento de asco, tristeza, ansiedad y preocupación por como quemaría las calorías de esa porquería.
Se sintió tan real que aún al despertar me sentía incómoda y asqueada. 😭😭
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WHY DO THEY MAKE IT SOO FN EASY FOR ME TO STARVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
About a month ago it was my dads birthday, so we went out to eat. When we were there my sister was not eating anything and was making up excuses not to eat. Saying oh I don’t want to spend the money, eh I’m not that hungry, I’ll eat later, or I’ll have leftovers. All we could get her to have was boba. When we got home she Really wanted to work out, she works out A LOT, idk the last day she didn’t work out.(she plays for THE BEST volleyball club in like in the state!!! Because she plays for suck a good club they obviously work out a lot to, u know get better, which probably Adds a bunch of stress for her to be like SUPER fit or sum) Anyways when we got home my parents were both super concerned, they thought she was starting to get an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. ( as somebody with an Ed I can tell u that’s right we’re my head went when she was like literally refusing to eat like any food) Anyways long story short is that she assured them that she did not have Ed, and that she was perfectly ok, but I’ll tell u one thing, that girl (me) sitting on the bed, she wasn’t ok, she was definitely, 100% worse than ok!!! (Anyways since that day I’ve been watching her a little more closely and I think she does have an Ed, but not a very bad one, maybe ortho or ana...Idrk)
AFTER ONE SKIPPED MEAL THEY WEAR CONCERNEDABOUT HER, THEY WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER, THEY NOTICED HER RIGHT AWAY,
BUT, I HAVE BEEN FN STARVING MYSELF FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS, AND THEY DIDN'T NOTICE, NOT AN FN WORD ABOUT IT, THEY BARELY EVEN FN MENTIONED IT!!!! THEY JUST BLAME MY 40 lbs WEIGHT LOSS (in like 3ish months) ON MY FN MEDS!!!!!! LIKE NO I FN WORKED FOR IT, I EARNED IT, I WOULD FN STARVE MYSELF SKIPPING LUNCH, SKIPPING BREAKFAST, MAYBE EVEN SKIPPING FN DINNER, FOR IT!!! BUT THEY DIDN'T FN NOTICE IT, THEY NOICED HER, THEY SAW HER, THEY WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER!!! THEY NOTICED HER, BUT THEY NEVER NOTICED ME!!!!! THEY SAW HER, THEY NOTICED HER, THEY PAID ATTENTION TO HER, THEY LOVED HER!!! BUT NOT ME, NEVER ME, THEY SAW HER BUT THEY NEVER SAW ME, THEY NOTICED HER BUT THEY NEVER NOTICED ME, THEY PAID ATTENTION TO HER BUT THEY NEVER PAID ATTENTION TO ME...THEY LOVED HER......BUT THEY NEVER, EVER, LOVED ME...NOT LIKE THEY LOVED HER, NEVER LIKE THEY LOVED HER!!! SHE WAS SEEN SHE WAS HEARD, SHE WAS LOVED...BUT I WAS NOT...I WAS FORGOTTEN, NEVER SEEN, NEVER HEARD... BUT ABOVE ALL NEVER LOVED!!! I WAS NEVER LOVED, NEVER SHOWED ATTENTION TO, NEVER REALLY EVEN THEIR... LIKE I WAS A THOUGHT IN THE AIR, I WAS NEVER REALLY THEIR, I WAS JUST IN THE FN AIR!!!
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pinned intro post!
I'm nick, prns are he/him, I'm 17, libra, 5'3
cw: 97lbs (??) gw1: 95 gw2: 90 ugw: 80
I've been more active on edtwt lately @/stxrcxls ❤❤
I fb 😁😁 and I'll update this as needed
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i think advice that has really helped me irt food and like getting all orthorexic about shit is don't worry so much about Subtracting Bad when you can focus on Adding Good. like something clicked for me when it was pointed out that carbs fats sugar etc don't magically cancel out nutrients. if i put ranch dressing on a salad i still GET nutrients from the salad even if the ranch "adds fat" or fucking whatever. broccoli with cheese on it is still broccoli. yk. so i just try to focus on that and genuinely it feels much better, to think "how can i add to this so its even better" instead of wahhh this is so bad i shouldnt have this at all
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I hate the "crunchy mom" slander coz I am crunchy mom
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watching fit to fat to fit bc nothing ruins my appetite more than ft people wantingto off themselves over the mere concept of being my size and i realized what about this show is pissing me off on a moral level
these jackasses gsin the weight sure cool they stop exercising great. their mentality never changes. they re just full time fitness coaches but fat now. they dont understand the differences in life style, life stress, genetic factors. they dont experience making skills and habits from *nothing* or the crushing failure so many fat people already experience.
nothing fucking changes they just get praised for "getting better" and the fat person is just there in the shadow of their fucking egos.
this is why i will never ever EVER pay for a personal trainer. those fuckers are so self obsessed and out of touch its makes me fucking angry.
do you think a super trim personal trziner whose whole life is fitness would understand how to help me a fat afab with multiple chronic illnesses that make it nearly impossible for me to even work out much less lose weight who also works an office job where im on my ass all day? and then add on top my slingshot of eting disorders between an@ and b3d?
every time i hear "fat people are just lazy" i write another personal trainers name in my fucking death note.
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i say this with peace & love, but baked salmon and rice has become the plain chicken breast and broccoli for girls
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What happens when we restrict foods… — Every Step Fitness
What happens when we restrict foods…Here's what you need to know..
What happens when we restrict foods… 🍕 We all have cravings for certain foods or drinks at certain times. It may be for chocolate, biscuits, cheese, fries, Pizza – etc, whatever it is it’s usually perceived as a “bad” food. If you’re trying to lose fat/weight and on a diet then you may cut out […]
What happens when we restrict foods… — Every Step Fitness
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"I'm going on a cutting diet and I'm gonna be skinny like you, I cant believe you have abs" "I know what anorexia is I'm not telling you where I learned" "I'm on a diet I won't eat that, help me eat" pretty boy I know what an eating disorder is and we both have two different types
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