moonlight - psh (m)
this work contains smut - minors please do not interact
pairing. dancer!sunghoon x fem!reader
synopsis. In August 1963, your monotonous summer vacation becomes a lot more exciting when you meet a group of dancers that work as the entertainment staff of the resort you and your family are staying at. Your fascination with them, and particularly dancers and close friends Sunghoon and Chaewon, pushes you to help them out by taking Chaewon's place at another hotel's show when she's unable to dance. The week you spend with Sunghoon as he teaches you to dance and the events thereafter give you a lot more than the ability to mambo.
genre. dirty dancing au, strangers to lovers, summer au, poor boy x rich girl trope, the Big 3 (fluff angst n smut)
word count. 32.2k
a/n. it's finally here !!! i've been working on this for a while so i hope you guys will like it, please lmk what u think ur feedback is super important to me !!! if you've seen dirty dancing you'll see that this is like.. a complete copy of the movie lmaooo i'm sorry i didn't wanna stray from the plot cz i love it 2 much <//3 i'll make a posting schedule shortly after this so you guys can see which of my old works i'll be reposting and all that :)) enjoy !! also thanks to @ozymandia-s for betareading this u deserve the world and u made this fic a thousand times better <333 and yep thats a compliment from me to u so u better treasure it fr.
Itβs the summer of 1963, everybody calls you Baby, and it hasnβt occurred to you to mind. Youβre 18, have plans to change the world, and are sure there isnβt a better man than your father.
After years of being too busy to leave work for over a week, your father has finally retired, and you can all go on a long, well-deserved summer break. Like most people your age, your dream vacation would be to backpack through Europe or Asia, discovering the wonders the world has to offer, meeting people from all walks of life and eating all sorts of foreign delicacies. But your parents wish for something more laid-back, so, on the first Sunday of August, after a six-hour drive, you get out of the car at Kellermanβs, a summer resort that belongs to your fatherβs old friend. You are to spend the rest of the month here, until the last day of the season.
The resort is truly a sight to behold. Even though itβs only four floors high, the main building is downright massive in terms of how much space it occupies. You can imagine the many rooms it must hold, such as the different restaurants and their respective kitchens, the ballroom and other leisure rooms, the stage for various shows, and some offices and apartments where the highest members of staff reside. Tables are scattered all across the front lawn, mainly older ladies and gentlemen sitting at them, drinking lemonade, playing cards, gossiping. You can make out a golf course and a small pond from afar, as well as the back lawn where youβre told most of the activities take place. Such activities include the outdoor dancing lessons, which your mother and sister Seeun want to get to immediately.
Max, your fatherβs friend, greets you as soon as you arrive as if heβs been waiting for you. Amused, you watch as they clasp each otherβs hand before coming into an embrace, giving three hard but friendly pats to the otherβs back. βSo glad to finally have you here, Doc,β Max says earnestly. βI promise you, one week here and youβll feel like youβve never worked a day in your life, thatβs how relaxed youβll be.β Your father laughs and nods, and you turn your attention away when they start talking about work, and how lifeβs been, and how your daughters have grown, and other things you donβt care much for.Β
You notice that a member of staff has begun to unload your numerous bags from the trunk, about half of which are your sisterβs (βSee, Mommy, I told you I shouldβve brought those coral heels!β you hear her complain), and start helping him out. He turns to you with a smile as you haul a suitcase onto the trolley.
βHey, thanks a lot! You looking for a job here?β he jokes, making you smile.
βJust wanted to help out, but Iβll let you know. Iβm Baby, by the way.β
βBaby? Is that your real name?β he asks with an amused expression and a quizzical tilt to his head.
βNo, but itβs what everyone calls me,β you beam back.
βAlright then, Baby. Iβm Jake.β He wipes some sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand before extending it to you, and you take it, shaking it enthusiastically.Β
Your conversation stops there when your father calls out your name, motioning for you to follow him and your mother and sister. βCome, Baby, let the staff do their work.β You give Jake an apologetic smile and wave him goodbye, but he simply shrugs and turns away, seemingly used to this kind of dismissal from guests.
βSee you around, Baby,β you hear him say as you start to walk away.
-
Seeun only gives you a few minutes to settle into your shared room and unpack your suitcase before she practically drags you outside, eager to get to the dance class in time. Your older sister absolutely loves dancing. No matter where or with who, if thereβs music, sheβll start moving.Β
You, on the other hand, have two left feet, which doesnβt make dancing such a fun activity. You like it, but always feel you look like a fool. As for dancing with a partner, the intimacy that comes with it is too much for you, and isnβt something you particularly want to share with boys you barely know, nevermind complete strangers, like the people at the merengue class your sister is making you rush to.Β
It takes place in the gazebo, which is wide enough to host about thirty guests and the instructor, who introduces herself as Chaewon. You try to follow her β1, 2, 1, 2β as best you can but itβs hard to focus on the rhythm when you have to avoid being stepped on by the lady to your left and stepping on the man to your right. Everything around you is turned upside down when she cheerfully calls out, βLetβs get into a circle! Gents on the outside, ladies on the inside! Cβmon now!β
You manage to make your way into the inner circle, holding onto the hips of the woman in front of you, and finally start to sway to the rhythm a bit more. βCome on ladies! God wouldnβt have given you this body if he didnβt want you to shake it!β Chaewon shouts enthusiastically, emphasizing on the βshakeβ with a movement of her own.
βOn the count of three,β she calls out, βladies, youβll turn around, and meet the man of your dreams! 1, 2, 3!β
You find yourself face to face with a grandma that had ended up in the gentsβ circle and force on your best smile as you dance with her. She looks delighted, but that expression might just be stuck on her face permanently.
The class comes to an end and the afternoon with it, and you leave the bungalow while everyone gets ready for dinner, yelling out that youβre going to look around as you close the door behind you. Itβs the early evening and the sun has just started to set, but not enough for the gentle breeze to be too cold. The small, round bushes and colorful flowers that line the pebbled path from the bungalows to the main building have been expertly tended to; there isnβt a stray weed, nor branch that hasnβt been cut properly nor a wilting plant. Itβs all so perfect, it almost looks fake. Yet, when you bend down to feel a petal, itβs soft under your fingertips and very much real.
You walk on the porch that surrounds the main building until you reach the outside entrance to the restaurant. Maxβs booming voice catches your attention and youβre able to peek through the ajar door, making sure you canβt be seen from where you stand. Your fatherβs friend sits at a table while the waiters stand in a half-circle in front of him, hands locked behind them and heads slightly bowed.
βTonightβs the start of the second half of the season, so Iβll use this opportunity to set a little reminder. Youβre here because I chose you lot from the most prestigious schools in the country and you need some financial help, correct?β He doesnβt wait for an answer. βSo do your job, and do it well. And if you want extra compensation, the gents here may be very generous if you show their daughters a good time and keep their wives happy. But no funny business, you keep your hands off. Got it?β
A quiet flurry of yeses is heard throughout the room just as a group of young people stride in, the sight of them piquing your interest. Theyβre wearing much more fitted and fashionable clothes compared to the waitersβ simple white vests and trousers, and carry themselves with a confidence youβve only seen in celebrities and important people. The man that leads them particularly catches your attention: slicked-back hair, useless sunglasses now that the sun has set, all-black clothes, too much leather for the summer weather and the prettiest face you think youβve ever seen to top it all off. He looks like an off-duty movie star.
βYou hear that, boys? No funny business,β he says with a smirk to the group behind him, and they chuckle in response, eyeing the waiters up and down. They work at the same establishment, but they seem to be from two totally different worlds, you notice.
βI think youβre the one who should keep that in mind,β one of the waiters says just as the group passes by him, just loud enough for the other guy to hear. He reacts immediately to the taunt, spinning around and pointing a threatening finger to the waiterβs chest.Β
βAnd I think you should heed your own advice, you jackass,β he spits, unfiltered venom in his voice. The waiter only smirks condescendingly, as if proud his remark had struck a nerve.
βAlright, alright, calm down, Sunghoon, and lay off of Heeseung. Youβre booked and busy this week, and your whole entertainment team has work to do, okay?β Max says, tone stern as if telling a child off.
Sunghoon takes a step back but doesnβt look away from Heeseung as he scoffs a simple whatever. He then pivots back around and leads his team out of the room. You decide youβve seen enough and turn around yourself, heading back to your familyβs bungalow with quick steps.
Barely half an hour later, youβre back at the restaurant. The tables have all been set, the candles have been lit, a band is playing soft jazz in the corner, and the waiters are taking care of the guestsβ orders and keeping them content. Youβve just sat down when Max himself approaches, introducing your waiter for tonight to your table. You try not to let your astonishment show when you instantly recognise him as the one who had had that scuff with Sunghoon earlier.
βDoc, this is Heeseung Lee, and heβll take care of you tonight,β he addresses your father, a paternal hand around Heeseungβs shoulder. βHeβs a third year med student at Harvard and has been working here every summer for the past three years. A very reliable and hardworking young man.β You feel like youβre being sold a car, but your father just smiles and nods approvingly at Heeseung.
βItβs a pleasure to meet you, Heeseung,β your father greets, holding out a hand for the young man to shake.
βThe pleasureβs all mine, Doctor,β Heeseung responds, a most dazzling smile on his lips. If you hadnβt seen him earlier, you wouldnβt believe that this smile could turn snarky and patronizing.
βThis is my wife, our eldest Seeun and our youngest Y/N, but we all call her Baby. Sheβs going to change the world,β your father introduces, beaming proudly at you.
βYeah, and Seeunβs going to decorate it,β you say, turning to your sister. A bit unprovoked, perhaps, but this is just the way you and your sister have always been. You smile and tilt your head innocently as she glares at you.
βI think she already does,β Heeseung says, your eyebrow raising up in surprise as your sister looks down at her hands, the sudden compliment making her blush.
βAlright, Heeseung, go get these folks our best champagne. On the house!β Max exclaims, beaming at your parents.
βYes, sir,β Heeseung says, bowing his head slightly to Max and your table before shooting your sister a smile and walking off.Β
βOh, and hereβs someone else I want to introduce to you - Jay, come here! Thatβs my grandson Jay. Yale Business School,β Max says emphatically. Jay approaches your table quickly, a somewhat self-assured yet awkward smile on his face. He greets your parents and sister with a nod of his head until his eyes settle on you. βThis is Baby, I was telling you about her earlier. Sheβs going to study at Yale too, and her dad says sheβll change the world!β
Jayβs lips form a pout, the kind of pout one makes when watching kittens play or a child running to his mother, as if he finds your ambitions endearing. Used to this kind of reaction from men, you raise your eyebrows and a small smile spreads on your face as if to say, βyep, thatβs me.β
βHow nice, Baby. But before you go off and do that, how about you save me a dance? Tomorrow night at the ball?β he offers, and the urge to kick him in the balls is hard to resist, but resist you must.
βOf course she will!β your father answers for you, and you have no choice but to put on your best fake smile, but none of the three men seem to see through it. If your mother and sister notice how annoyed you are, they donβt say anything. Knowing them, they probably think youβre being unreasonable if youβre not already throwing yourself at such an obviously intelligent and respectable young man.
Thatβs how you find yourself the next day, hands stiffly clasped behind Jayβs neck and his own on the sides of your waist, dancing with him to a slow-paced but lighthearted live song, although dancing might be an overstatement as itβs impossible to find a proper rhythm with someone as clumsy as him. You never thought youβd meet a worse dancer than you, but here you were. You have to keep yourself from snorting everytime he winces or tuts when you βaccidentallyβ step on his foot, and you make sure to leave ample room between the two of you for the Holy Spirit.
Most of the dance is spent in awkward silence, probably due to the fact that Jayβs gaze, one that is perhaps meant to be seductive but only comes off as creepy, seems to linger on you for too long and too many times. When a pair of kids spins right by you, looking far more talented and serious in their dancing than the two of you, Jay seems to think he needs to step up his game and tightens his grip on your waist. Although you try to disguise it as best you can, the action makes you look up at him in alarm, and you have to stop yourself from visibly flinching when he bends down to say something in your ear although the music isnβt that loud.
βSo, Yale, huh? What are you going to study? Design?β
βUm, Environmental Studies and Politics, actually. Iβm particularly interested in how underdeveloped countries work and how we can change things there for the better, rather than making things worse,β you correct him, slightly raising your voice so he can hear you from where youβre standing.Β
Jay is visibly taken aback by your detailed response, and all he can do is nod. βRight, right, thatβs-β
To no oneβs disappointment, you never find out what Jay was going to say next because right then, the music suddenly picks up and one of the musicians announces βSunghoon and Chaewon of the Entertainment Team for a mambo demonstrationβ into his mic. Your ears perk up at the sound of those two vaguely familiar names, and you quickly recognise Sunghoon as the leather-clad man from earlier and Chaewon as the merengue class instructor from yesterday. Heβs now wearing a black suit jacket and matching trousers with a tight white button-up, the clothes fitting him perfectly and making the muscles underneath them appear when the light hits him just right. On her is one of the most beautiful dresses youβve ever seen, the red fringed fabric draping over her body like it was created for her, her toned upper back and arms on display.
The crowd of guests quickly forms a circle around the couple, giving them enough space to put on their show, and everyone, including you, is immediately enthralled by their performance. Youβre mesmerized by how elegant and energetic at once their dance is, the smiles on their faces unfaltering and their legs and arms forming perfect lines at all times. Their posture is proud and their gazes are always fixed on each other even as they spin around, somehow never getting dizzy. They move in perfect synchronization as one entity rather than two separate people simply dancing together, and even though it is probably due to an impressive amount of practice, you canβt help but find that their chemistry is what makes them so fascinating. When he lifts her into the air, itβs with so little effort that she looks like she weighs no more than a feather. There is not a step out of place, and youβre reminded of those impeccable bushes and flowers from the day before. It makes you wonder how it is possible for two people to look so perfect together, and if that perfection is only superficial or not.
βWho are they?β you ask Jay, your curiosity about them greater than your aversion to talking to him.
From the corner of your eye, you see him looking surprised by your question before he leans in and answers. βSunghoon Park and Chaewon Kim. Theyβre part of the dance people. Here to keep the guests happy and entertained.β He sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head in discontentment. βThey shouldnβt be showing off with each other like that, it wonβt sell lessons. Iβll need to have a talk with them later.β
You barely register Jayβs words after heβs answered your question, your attention focused back on the dancers in front of you. On the other side of the room, you spot Max frowning at them and marching towards them. As soon as Sunghoon and Chaewon notice him, he waves them off and they separate, choosing a guest as their new partner to dance with, which you assume is their way of doing a taster session.
Jay drags you off to sit at a table and for the better part of an hour, you let him bore your ears off as he tells you either things he canβt fathom youβd already know even though you do, or things you couldnβt care any less about. Itβs such a shame that a man with that handsome a face and that charming a smile would have the stalest of personalities, yet deem himself the most interesting man to walk the Earth. You nod and hum when youβre supposed to, and thatβs all he needs to think youβre listening intently, when really you canβt stop thinking about the dancers you just saw, and even steal glances at them still dancing with some guests mere meters away from you. All you want to do is get up and get Sunghoonβs, or even Chaewonβs attention so they could show you how to move like them - just touching their shoulder or waist would be thrilling. But when you catch your motherβs eye a few tables away and she beams at you, two thumbs up in the air, you know you need to stay planted in your chair.
Thankfully, the amount of guests in the room starts to dwindle, and you use this dip in the evening to run off, telling Jay itβs getting late and you need to get back to your bungalow. You donβt let him try to convince you to stay back, and grab your purse, excitedly waving goodbye at him. Heβs probably confused, but youβre too giddy at the prospect of finally leaving to care.Β
You were on your way to the bungalow, you really were - but just as you reach it, light from a tall lodge about five hundred meters away catches your attention, and youβre too curious about the building you hadnβt noticed before not to investigate. So you continue walking up the small hill where all the guest lodgings rest until you find yourself before a sign that reads βSTAFF QUARTERS - GUESTS KEEP OUT,β which you promptly decide to ignore.
In just a minute, a wooden bridge reveals itself, enabling you to cross over the current that separates you from the other bank, where the lodge stands. If you looked to your right, you couldβve made out some more, smaller and dingier-looking bungalows than the guestsβ that hosted the staff behind all those trees, but you run into a familiar face before you can take notice of them.
βHey! I recognize you. Baby, right?β
βYeah, and youβre Jake!β you beam, surprised not only by seeing him again here, but by the three huge watermelons he carries in his arms like oversized newborn triplets.Β
βYeahβ¦β he trails, squinting his eyes at you, his enthusiasm turning into suspicion. βYou canβt be here. Max would kill me. Go back to the dance, Baby.β He can only take a few steps forward before you grab a watermelon from his unsteady hold, putting your most convincing smile on.
βIβll help you carry these!β you state rather than offer, and march forwards across the bridge. Behind you, Jake sighs and shakes his head, then rushes to stop you in your tracks.
βDidnβt you read the sign? This area is staff only, you canβt be here,β he repeats, punctuating his words. He stays unwavering even at the receiving end of your very menacing glare, so you simply huff and stack the watermelon back on top of the other two and turn away. It takes him approximately two seconds to change his mind. βCan you keep a secret?β
Jake doesnβt prepare you for what youβre about to see when you enter the staff common lodge, but you donβt think anything could. The smell of a room full of people sweating and moving about hits you instantly, the heat it creates hanging heavy in the air. The breeze coming in through the open windows is practically useless in bringing the temperature down, but you arenβt curious to find out what itβd be like with the windows closed.
The music, a genre your father always bristles at when he hears it on the radio, is now blasting in your ears rather than whistling through the wind, and it takes you a few moments to adjust to the volume and intensity of the bass and drums bouncing off the walls of the room. The guitar sound is sensual and almost yearning, the singer longs for his lover, and the tempo is just fast enough for the dancers to find a swaying rhythm.
As if the lyrics themselves arenβt enough to make you blush, the way the staff dances makes you feel like youβre intruding on something. You try to look away as a couple thrusts their hips into each otherβs, only to find another lowering themselves to the group until theyβre crouching then slowly rising again, using each other as support the whole time. Skirts bunched up around hips, shirts almost fully unbuttoned or even discarded, hands grabbing onto the partnerβs clothes or bare skin - youβve never seen anyone dance that way. Far from the choreographed performances youβre used to, here, theyβre simply letting their bodies move to the music without any second thoughts or a care in the world. You hadnβt even known this could be considered dancing, but surely, when your body molds itself this perfectly to the melody and your partnerβs hands, then you can only be dancing.Β
Watermelon in arms, you follow Jake as he snakes his way to the back of the room through sweaty bodies holding each other close. You recognise a few people here and there as the entertainment staff who host activities, teach dance classes or help guests find their way around. They peer back at you, expressions either confused or disdainful - you arenβt sure whether thatβs because they donβt know who you are, or because they do and donβt like seeing you there. Even if they donβt know that youβre Baby, your dress at least is a dead giveaway of your being a guest. Your mom had picked it out for you - a white sleeveless summer dress that reaches almost to your knees and cinches in at the waist before flowing out over your hips. And no cleavage, of course. Along with your impeccably curled and styled hair, your prim and proper attire is a far cry from the short skirts, tight t-shirts and denim that the staff wears, revealing sunkissed skin and toned muscles. And if all of that still isnβt enough to tell you apart, then your wide eyes like a kid seeing fireworks for the first time should do it.
You finally reach the back of the room and set your watermelon on a bar counter. Jake rests his hands on his hips and watches the dancers, a smile on his face, the kind of smile you wear when you can never get enough of a sight even though you witness it everyday. You watch them too, but you must look a mix of fascinated and terrified - sure, they all look terrific, but if your dad caught you here, youβd be dead.
βWhereβd they learn to do that?β you lean in to ask Jake as the next song starts playing, your gaze not leaving the dancers who adjust easily to the more upbeat tempo.
He looks at you, stunned. βDonβt you know? This is how the kids dance these days. This is what American basements look like on Friday nights.β His surprise turns into amusement and he steps in front of you, one hand extended for you to take and a mischievous look on his face. βWanna try?β
Your eyes immediately double in size and you shake your hands in front of you, but he grabs one of them anyway and starts leading you back into the middle of the room. Youβre saved by the doors suddenly bursting open, catching everyoneβs attention. In run Sunghoon and Chaewon, wearing the same clothes from earlier, although Sunghoon has ditched the suit jacket and popped the top buttons of his shirt open. Your stomach flips at the sight of his flushed cheeks and hair slick with sweat.
Jake chuckles when he sees how transfixed you are by the two of them, dancing so differently from earlier, their moves far more sexual, hands not so polite anymore, completely free to do whatever they wish. Rather than a smile, Sunghoon wears a small frown and bites his bottom lip, deepening his dimples, and it all seems to make each of his moves that much harsher. The sheer sex appeal that he exudes is absolutely undeniable, and it makes you feel things youβve never felt before - things youβre not quite unsure how to name. You let out a small gasp as Chaewon jumps and hooks her legs around his hips effortlessly, then as she leans her upper body back until her head almost touches the ground. Sunghoonβs hands are tight around her waist and his biceps apparent under the thin fabric of his dress shirt. You realize how strong Sunghoon must be when he carries her all the way to his shoulders, letting her rest her knees there as she plays with her skirt and swings her head from side to side. Youβve never seen anyone look so good while having so much fun.
βThey look great together,β you blurt out without thinking.
βDonβt they?β Jake says, looking out at them with a fond smile. βYouβd think they were a couple.β
This makes your head pivot towards Jake. βWell, arenβt they?β
βNot since we were kids, no. Theyβve just been dancing together for so long that theyβve developed this- this chemistry and understanding of each other, I guess.βΒ
βDo you know them well?β
βSunghoonβs my best friend from home. He met Chaewon when he started working here when we were 16, and then he got me this job when we were 17. The three of us are 22 now.β He meets your gaze and his smile grows wider. βWhy, you interested?β
The sudden question (and the very obvious, very embarrassing answer) takes you aback and you stammer out a few nonsensical syllables before frowning at him. Your reaction just seems to amuse him. βNo, Iβm not. Just asking,β you manage to say.
He looks back at them, and you follow his gaze. βWell, good, cause weβre not allowed to get involved with the guests anyway. Which is why you shouldnβt be here in the first place.β
Just then, the song ends and Sunghoon and Chaewon laugh before they separate, finding another partner to dance with. As Chaewon heads towards someone else, Sunghoon catches your stare and walks to where you and Jake stand, eyes fixed on your face. You feel small under his gaze, but you will your knees not to buckle underneath you, although thatβs hard to do when his eyes sweep your figure, giving you a once-over.
βWhatβs she doing here?β he questions Jake without looking away from you.
βThatβs Baby, she came with me,β Jake says, not really answering the question.
βI carried a watermelon,β you blurt, not really answering the question either, but that seems to satisfy Sunghoon. His eyebrows raise slightly before he heads back to the dancefloor and starts dancing again. You release a breath you hadnβt known you were holding, but another one catches right in your throat when, after barely thirty seconds, he pivots back around as if there was still something he was curious about. His eyes stay focused on you, unreadable.
And then, he bows his head slightly, looks up at you through his eyebrows, raises his hand, and beckons you to him with his index finger. As if spellbound, your feet move on their own until you find yourself in front of him, his hands reaching immediately for your hips and holding on tight there. All the nerves in your body are on edge and your heartbeat speeds up, almost matching the fast tempo of the song resonating throughout the room. Simply remembering to breathe becomes an arduous task. Jakeβs voice is a faint sound as he says, βSo you go dance with him, but not me?β
This kind of dancing is completely unfamiliar to you, so you have no idea what to do. Thankfully, Sunghoon doesnβt seem to expect anything else, and he knows how to guide you so that you get the gist of it. βKeep your eyes on me,β he commands quietly, gesturing with two fingers for your gaze to stay on his. βAnd move your hips in a circle, just like that,β he adds, executing the move for you to mirror. βJust relax, youβre too stiff. Relax your arms. Put them around my shoulders.β His hands brush down from your shoulders to your wrists, sending a trail of fire all along your arms, grabbing them and resting them on his shoulders himself before settling back on your waist. His arm snakes its way around it, bringing you closer to him. You arenβt sure whatβs more electrifying, his gaze or his touch.
You start to focus on the music and on getting your body to move along to it, and it feels like a miracle when your hips, firmly pressed against his own, sway side-to-side in rhythm. Remembering what you saw earlier, you lean back slightly, hips still moving in small circles, trusting him to keep you from falling. You lean back as far as you can, and something about it is so liberating, you feel the adrenaline rushing through your body as if itβs the only thing keeping you alive. When you come back up, your palms are flat against his chest and he looks at you with a proud but surprised smirk that lits your insides up. βJust like that,β he whispers, but his face is close enough for you to hear him over the music.
He spins you around a few times, and as quickly as he appeared, heβs already gone, having weaved his way through the crowd back towards Jake. It takes you a few seconds to register his absence, but when it does, itβs like all the warmth he filled you with is gone; youβre left only with the heavy heat weighing the room down and you with it, when youβd felt light like air not a moment ago.
Before you can decide on what to do next, someone taps your shoulder, and you turn around to find Heeseung frowning down at you. In the fraction of a second, you can tell this is the snarky Heeseung that youβd seen when you were snooping around the day before rather than the polite Heeseung that had waited your table that night.
βBaby, right? I donβt know what youβre doing here, but your sister and parents are looking all over for you. If I were you, Iβd go now, and quick.β
Alarm shoots through you as you realize youβd been here for twenty minutes at least, the sort of absence that wouldnβt go unnoticed by your family this late at night. You thank him rapidly and practically run towards the door before risking a look back at Jake and Sunghoon, still standing in the corner of the room. Jake looks worried, so you send him a thumbs up, but Sunghoon simply peers at you, sipping on a beer as his back rests against the wall, that same unreadable look from before back on his face. You donβt linger to figure it out and rush to your bungalow, coming up with an excuse that you got lost on your way back for your parents to believe. Because their Baby would never do anything she isnβt supposed to, right?
That night, as you toss and turn in bed, trying to fall asleep, your mind wanders off to those warm, big hands firmly planted on your waist, and how they had guided your body until it moved on its own accord, until it let itself go and only followed the rhythm. How far can you go until your body no longer belongs to you but rather to the music, or to the person holding you close, you wonder? And if that happened, would you, for a moment at least, no matter how fleeting, be freed of all your worries for your future and of all the pressure on your shoulders?
Your feet already ache - from dancing or from wanting to dance some more, you canβt quite tell.
-
Every year when August comes, it takes you by surprise how early the sun sets. Just as youβd gotten used to the sky still being fairly light by 10 p.m., it was already getting dark at nine. This is what you think about a few nights later as you look out at the dark sky, the bright full moon and the hundreds of stars lighting it up. Youβre standing next to the gazebo with your parents as you watch other guests dancing about; clearly, since youβre thinking about the state of the sky and the sun in the summer, youβre very entertained. Your sister has managed to become friends with some of the other guestsβ kids, as well as some of the staff, and has even formed a budding romance with Heeseung, which your parents have made it obvious they approve of. This means that she is excused of any activities she might not want to partake in, while you have to follow your parents everywhere.
Your gaze follows Sunghoon as he dances with an older woman, guiding her through the dance and teaching her a few steps. You canβt help but frown slightly at his forced smile when she lets her hands wander a bit too far down his back, and you wonder why he doesnβt say anything when he looks so obviously uncomfortable.
βYou see that woman over there?β you hear Max ask your father as he motions to the lady dancing with Sunghoon. βVivian Kim. We call women like her bungalow bunnies. Their husbands work all week and only come back on weekends. That dancer Park Sunghoon is pretty popular with them, if you know what I mean,β he comments with a dark chuckle. βBut I gotta pretend like I donβt know any better, otherwise the wives are unhappy. And if the wives are unhappy, so are the husbands, and then I lose money.β
You daze out of the conversation when you see Jay approaching, his steps quick and headed directly towards Sunghoon. βWhereβs Chaewon?β he questions impatiently, taking no notice of Vivian, who seems to take no notice of him either and continues swaying her hips to the music.
βWhat do you mean whereβs Chaewon? Sheβs on a break, Chaewon needs a break,β Sunghoon bites back, tone just as harsh as Jayβs. That seems to shut Jay up, and he just squints at him before turning his head to where youβre standing. His whole demeanor changes instantly as he walks towards you, that smile one would reserve for children that he always looks at you with.
βHey Baby, wanna go on a walk?β he asks, but with the intent way your parents, Max and Jay himself are peering down at you, you know you donβt have much of a choice.
You put on your best forced smile and take his extended hand. βSure, Jay.β
He takes you to a small wooden bridge that overpasses a small but feisty current. The walk there is fairly silent, which youβre thankful for, because itβs easier to pretend Jay isnβt here when heβs not talking, but the fantasy is shattered everytime he sighs and hums contentedly. Itβs like he thinks spending five minutes without talking will make the world implode, and he has to make some kind of noise to keep the balance.
When you reach the bridge, you lean back against the rail, and he leans on his side, apparently so he can look at you better. βI love to watch your hair blow in the breeze,β he says after a few moments, and it takes everything in you to keep your laughter in at the sudden romanticism.
βYou know, not to brag,β he starts, and you know heβs about to say the most pretentious thing youβve ever heard, βbut around here, Iβm known as the catch of the county.β Heβs smiling, but you know heβs being fully serious. βI mean, it makes sense, doesnβt it? Iβm handsome, parents love me, and I go to the best school in the country. People ask me, βwell, whatβs the difference between you and any other guy at Yale,β and I say, βfive hotels and a million-dollar inheritance!ββ He bursts laughing like heβs just made the funniest joke ever, although youβre not sure where the joke is. You chuckle awkwardly and nod, remembering your motherβs advice - when in doubt, just nod. Youβre not particularly in doubt, but youβre also not sure how to respond to such ostentatious self-praise.
To your great despair, Jay is about to open his mouth again, but a voice coming from the exit of the forest near you stops him in his tracks. βHeeseung, please, you have to help me with this-,β the voice says, and you recognize it quickly as Chaewonβs.
βI told you, itβs none of my damn business.β
βBut it is! Please!β she shouts back. He walks ahead of her and she tries to catch up to him, and just like that, theyβre already gone without having noticed you or Jay.
A hand placed delicately on your shoulder snaps you from your thoughts. You turn to Jay who has a sad look in his eyes and who sighs as if pained to say what he has to say next. βYou know, Baby, sometimes, in this world, youβll see things you donβt want to see. And sometimes, you canβt do anything about them. Itβs all part of growing up,β he finishes, his tone self-important like heβs just taught you a world of knowledge.Β
βYou hungry?β he suddenly adds, all cheery. βCβmon, eating something might take your mind off of this. We can go to the kitchens and get you anything youβd like.β
He indeed takes you to the restaurant kitchens, completely empty due to the late hour. He opens up a fridge, and even though he basically does, the way he acts like he owns the place makes you wince. βSo, what have we here? Some smoked salmon canapΓ©s, some ham sandwichesβ¦ ooh, brownies! What elseβ¦β he trails off, but your attention has been caught by something else.Β
You can hear someone snuffling somewhere in the room, and when you lean to the side to peer behind the wall, you can make out a female figure crouched down in the dark. Sheβs trembling from head-to-toe, and when she lifts her head to look at you, you recognize her as Chaewon. Youβve never seen anyone looking so scared.
Thinking quickly, you grab Jay by the shoulders, smiling at him as you say, βYou know what, I donβt think Iβm actually that hungry, letβs just head back to the gazebo, yeah?β
For once, youβre the one who doesnβt let him answer your question and you speed out of the kitchens and back to the gazebo. You find Jake immediately, rushing to him to tell him what you saw, and he in turn rushes to Sunghoon, who apologizes and drops his dancing partnerβs hand as soon as he hears whatβs going on. Ignoring Jayβs confused look, you run with them back to the kitchens, from which Chaewon hasnβt moved an inch.
Sunghoon sits next to her, taking her in his arms and helping her up. βItβs okay, youβre okay, Iβm here now. Everythingβs fine. Letβs get you back to my room, okay? Itβll be quiet there,β he coos, getting her snuffles to calm down and her breath to steady itself.
Since none of them tell you to go back, you follow along, Chaewon in Sunghoonβs arms in front and you and Jake not too far behind. βWhatβs wrong with her?β you ask Jake quietly.
βSheβs pregnant.β
βJake!β Sunghoon calls out indignantly, sending him a look as if to warn him.
βWhat? Itβs not like sheβd tell anyone.β
βStill, itβs none of her business,β Sunghoon replies, glancing briefly at you.
βAnd whatβs he gonna do about it?β you canβt help but ask. This makes Sunghoon pivot on his heel and Chaewon frowns at the sudden movement.
ββWhatβs he gonna do about it?ββ he repeats, venom in his voice. βOh of course, cause itβs my baby. Of course youβd assume that,β he practically spits at you. You try to stutter out a response, but nothing comes up. How could you not assume that, when youβve only seen him taking care of her like sheβs his responsibility?
You thought all staff lived in small bungalows, but the place you reach is more like a one-person studio. Sunghoon sits Chaewon down on a couch, covers her shoulders with a blanket and brings her a tall glass of water.
βSo, whose is it then?β you ask again, eyes darting back and forth between the three figures that stare back at you. Sunghoon starts towards you, an accusing finger out, but Chaewon stops him.
βItβs fine, Sunghoon.β She sighs then lifts her gaze to look at you. Her eyes seem drained, like her tears took everything out of her. βItβs Heeseungβs,β she answers plainly, and you think your eyes bulge out of your face. What youβd witnessed earlier starts to make more sense in your head.
Next to you, Jake looks like heβll explode if he has to keep in the words he wants to say any longer. βThat bastard Heeseung. She needs money to get an operation, and she needs it soon, but he doesnβt give a shit,β Jake spits.
βBut, Heeseung, heβs got money, Iβm sure if you just ask him, heβll-β
βBaby? Is that your name?β Chaewon asks softly, interrupting you. βWell, you donβt know shit about my problems, Baby,β she continues, her tone doing a 180. βYou donβt think Iβve asked him? You donβt think he knows?β
βBut-β
βGo back to your playpen, Baby,β she dismisses you, a finality to her tone. Sunghoon just glares at you while Jake shrugs, so you decide thereβs nothing you can do than leave, and head back to your bungalow, heart heavy, but determined to help Chaewon out. There has to be something you can do, you just know it.
-
The next day, you pretend to help Heeseung set the tables for the lunch service to have a talk with him. You waste no time starting your interrogation, not even greeting him before diving straight into it.
βI know about Chaewon, Heeseung. You need to help her out,β you say sternly, using a random water pitcher youβd found at the entrance to fill up crystal glasses.
βWell hello to you too, Baby,β he says with a sarcastically sweet tone. His fake smile drops when he sees you wonβt play into his game. βI donβt need to do anything,β he scoffs. βNot like itβs any of your business anyway.β
βHavenβt you seen her? You canβt leave her alone in a time like this, she needs your help. Even if itβs mostly financial help. Itβs the least you can do.β
βGirls like her, they get into trouble all the time, okay? Hey, watch what youβre doing!β he whisper-yells when water spills over one of the glasses, not wanting to rouse the suspicion of any of the diners around.
βYeah, because of guys like you,β you bite back, but he ignores you.
βShe was bound to get knocked up at some point, going around like that.β You follow as he moves on the next table.Β
βSo youβre not going to do anything? Just put her in a bad situation and then run away?β
He finally turns to face you, looking at you like heβs exasperated, like youβre the bad guy here. βThat girlβs not my problem, okay? She brought this upon herself.β
You take a step closer to him, a fakely sweet smile plastered on your lips. βYouβre a jerk, Heeseung. You stay away from me, stay away from my sister, or Iβll have you fired.β You then raise the jug of water up to his chest, and keep that same smile as you pour it on him before marching away, ignoring the gasps that echo all around the room and Heeseung as he yells at you to come back.
-
Your mom is struggling to get the ball in when you find your parents on one of the many golf courses. Your dad smiles as he sees you nearing them, asking you if everythingβs alright.
βDaddy.β
βBaby?β he answers, looking amused by your seriousness.
βYou know how you say I should always do my best to help out others when they need it?β
βOf course.β
βWell, Iβve got friends who need some help.β
βWhat kind of help?β he asks, slightly frowning as he realizes youβre not being serious for no reason.
You take a big breath in. βMoney.β You donβt like asking your dad for money, but itβs the only solution youβve come up with.
βAnd just how much money?β
βThree hundred dollars?β you say, your sentence coming out like a question as you slightly wince in apprehension.
Your father sighs. βThatβs a serious amount of money, Baby. This isnβt anything illegal, is it?β he adds after a beat, taking you aback. Is this illegal? If it is, your father doesnβt need to know it.
βNo, no, of course not, Daddy,β you say, trying your best at a reassuring smile. It seems to work, because his expression softens and he smiles back.
βOf course not,β he repeats, βI should know that.β He takes you in his arms. βIβll have the money ready for you tonight.β You hug him back, thanking him before skipping away to whatever activity you might find to distract yourself before the evening.
-
After dinner, when your dadβs given you an envelope filled with cash, you throw a quick excuse your parentsβ way before rushing to the staff quarters, making sure no one sees you on your way there. The music emanating from the common room makes you hopeful youβll find the people youβre looking for.
And indeed, you do - Sunghoon and Chaewon are holding each other close, her head resting on his chest, and swaying together to the slow and sensual rhythm of the music at the back of the room when you find them. You feel a ping of something uncomfortable in your heart but ignore it and head straight towards them. Chaewon turns around when you tap on her shoulder, her and Sunghoon both looking at you with unmasked animosity, but you just smile as you hand her the envelope. Jake notices you and walks over to stand next to his cousin.
βHere you go. I hope itβs enough,β you say, relieved to see her surprised but ecstatic expression when she opens the envelope and sees all the bills in there. Jake wears a similar expression but Sunghoon just leers down at you.
βOh my God, Baby, this is amazing,β Chaewon exclaims in disbelief. βHow did you get Heeseung to change his mind?β
You purse your lips. βIt wasnβt Heeseungβ¦β
She frowns slightly but her eyes widen at the realization that if it isnβt from Heeseung, it has to be from you. βOh, Baby, thank you so much,β she murmurs.
βYeah, takes a real saint to ask daddy,β Sunghoon says sarcastically. Chaewonβs head snaps towards you and she starts to shake her head, forcing the envelope back into your hands.
βI canβt accept it, then.β
βWhy not?β you, Sunghoon and Jake blurt at the same time.
βWho cares where it comes from? You need the money,β Sunghoon says, trying to persuade her, but she just continues to shake her head.
βIt doesnβt feel right. And I canβt go to the appointment anyway,β she chuckles defeatedly, and Sunghoon looks at Jake in confusion.
βI can only get her an appointment next Thursday, when you guys have your act at the Sheldrake,β he explains guiltily, as if itβs his fault.
βFor fuckβs sake,β Sunghoon breathes out, looking up to the ceiling in despair, hands on his hips.
βCanβt you miss just that one night?β you ask innocently, but apparently it is the stupidest question on earth, judging from the harsh glare Sunghoon fixes you with.
βNo, we canβt miss just that one night. This is our job, and if we cancel the Sheldrake, not only do we lose this summerβs salary, but also next summerβs gig. Our livelihoods depend on this,β he hisses.
βSoβ¦ canβt someone fill in?β you ask again, and wince when he raises his tone.
βNo, Little Miss Fix-It, someone canβt fill in. Everybody works here, unlike you. Unless you wanna do it,β he adds after a pause, chuckling sarcastically, βtake some time off of Simon Says?β
You can only glare back at him, even though you couldnβt look as condescending as him if you tried. Youβre just trying to help them out and find solutions, no need to be so rude about it. Jake looks back and forth between the two of you, a look on his face like heβs thinking things over.
βYou know, maybe she could do it. You werenβt so bad last time, were you, Baby?β he says, eyebrows raised at you as he waits for your answer, a hopeful look on his face that makes you feel bad for letting him down.
You shake your head fervently - learning a complicated choreography and performing it in front of an audience is unthinkable to you. βNo, no, I canβt even do the merengue.β
βCβmon!β he insists.
βYou heard her, Jake, she canβt even do the merengue,β he repeats, adding venom to the words.
Chaewon doesnβt seem to think this is such a bad idea either. βBut Sunghoon, you could teach anyone to dance, youβre an amazing leader,β she says eagerly, but Sunghoon just rolls his eyes and sighs.
βThe act is in a week, even if I was the best teacher in the world, she couldnβt learn the whole routine in that time. Itβs a lost cause,β he sneers, his gaze fixated harshly on you. Youβre not sure whether the lost cause refers to the situation or to you.
You squint your eyes at him, trying to match his gaze. Itβs one thing that you think itβs a bad idea, but itβs a whole other thing now that heβs so against it. Jakeβs right - you werenβt that bad last week, youβre sure you could be an okay replacement. Sunghoon raises an eyebrow at you as if in challenge.
Challenge accepted, you think.
-
βNow itβs one, two, three, four,β Sunghoon says, synchronizing each number to the beat of the music. βYou donβt dance βtil the two.β This is probably the fifth time he tells you this in the past half-hour, and although you know what youβre meant to do, your body will simply not listen to your head.
Youβre in the dance studio, trying as hard as you can to get your body to shape itself into what Sunghoon wants it to be. Arms up at shoulder-level, core engaged, back straight, head proud. He may repeat those directions over and over again, you arenβt used to holding yourself like that, and itβs a lot harder than it seems, even though he makes it look so natural.
He moves the tonearm of the record player so that the music starts from the beginning again and walks towards you, his stern gaze never leaving your eyes as if to say, βyou better not mess it up this time.β It makes the room feel a lot hotter than it actually is, and the strong summer heat coming in from the open windows doesnβt help.
You canβt help but wonder if Sunghoon is this impatient with all of his students - surely heβd be out of a job if he actually behaved like this with the fancy ladies of the resort, so he must have some kind of problem with you. It wouldnβt take a genius to figure out that he isnβt the fondest of you, anyway. The fact that youβre only doing this to help him out and not for your own pleasure seems lost on him, but youβd rather not aggravate the situation by pointing that out.
His hands firmly holding yours, his gaze still fixed on your face, you hear your cue approaching and tell yourself βon the two, on the two, on the two,β but itβs no use, your foot starts to move a beat too early. But this time, Sunghoon anticipates your movement and says, softer than you expect βno,β and you put your foot back down instead of stepping on his like countless times before. Then he instructs βnowβ, and you finally get it right, getting into the flow of the music properly. You repeat this process a few more times, and only take a break when heβs sure you wonβt make mistakes anymore.
Youβre halfway through a one-liter bottle of water when you hear him say, βFinally got the basic footwork down, only took an hour.β You scoff at the snarky remark and are about to come back at him with something just as petty, but you notice the shadow of a smile on his lips, more playful than patronizing, so you bite it back and try to suppress a smile of your own. With Sunghoon, youβll take what you can get.
He doesnβt give you more than another minute of break, ignoring your complaints and urging you back towards him in the center of the room. βLetβs move on to the second part.β
You only have a week to get ready, so you practice like crazy, Sunghoon trying to reduce his working hours as much as possible and you slipping away from your parents and sister whenever you can. You go over the steps on your own, taking any opportunity to do so, whether thatβs when you find yourself alone in your familyβs rental or as you walk back across the bridge and lawn to the main grounds, letting your body move to the music in your head.
When she can make it, Chaewon also comes to practice with you. Her presence is always helpful - she sometimes stands behind you, holding you by the hips and correcting your posture, sometimes replaces either you or Sunghoon so you can watch her and mirror her moves from different perspectives.Β
Although she was originally wary and dismissive of you, when she saw how intent you were on helping her, a complete stranger, out, her view of you completely changed. You can tell how thankful she is by the constant kindness she shows you, encouraging you to compensate for Sunghoonβs lack of praise.
Indeed, all three of you are surprised and happy to see how quickly youβre progressing, but Sunghoon has a knack for keeping his emotions behind a veil and his praises to a minimum. Sure, that means his compliments, his small βyou did well todayβ or βgood jobβ make you blush a little redder, but you wouldnβt complain if they were more frequent, either.
What he canβt hide from you, however, is that he is clearly starting to become more tolerant of your presence. Youβd like to say you knew all along that he would soften up eventually, but truth is, you were scared he was going to stay this cold for the length of your time together, so it comes as even more of a relief when he stops reprimanding you so harshly for small mistakes or when he smiles along with you as you celebrate getting through a big chunk of the routine flawlessly for the first time. When one day, he actually laughs with you instead of berating you, you almost explode in on yourself out of joy. You convince yourself that those butterflies you feel erupting in your stomach is because itβs so surprising to see someone usually so guarded letting himself go a bit more, that it isnβt just the simple sound of his laughter making you feel lightheaded.
On the fourth day of practice, you manage to find enough time to practice for almost three hours in a row. Towards the end of the session, after feeling like you were about to pass out due to extortion, you have a strange surge of energy. Sunghoon, on the other hand, has almost exhausted his very impressive stamina, but still wants to go through what youβve learned up until now.
The music starts, and you donβt know if it was this surge of energy, or if it was Sunghoonβs tired expression that made you want to tease him, but you decide itβd be funny to repeat back to him the directions he always gives you - you know them by heart at this point.Β
βHey! Head up,β you joke as you face each other again after a spin. βLock your frame. Wiggly arms!β Youβre happy to see he laughs along with you, shaking his head in amused disbelief at you.
The laughter immediately halts, however, when at the end of the routine, because of your lack of concentration, your foot slips and you find yourself much closer to him than necessary for the ending pose. Your breath hitches in your throat, and your cheeks immediately burn up. After a long moment, Sunghoon looks away, clearing his throat, and you take a big step back from him as if being any nearer might make you spontaneously combust.
βThat was, um, that was good today. Good job,β he says quickly, then rushes to grab his stuff and leave the room. Forget the proximity the two of you were just in - was that a flustered Sunghoon you got to see? And was it because of you? Itβs almost unfathomable that you could render him shy like that, but a small smirk plays on your lips at the idea of it.
Over the week, you start reaching for the thin tank tops and shorts you own, and steal some of Seeunβs lipgloss and mascara. If Sunghoon notices it, he doesnβt say anything. But perhaps, youβre the one who hasnβt noticed the way he glances at you in the mirror when you take a break or practice on your own, how he canβt help raking his eyes over your body when you arenβt looking, unable to reign his curiosity in. That you might want to get some kind of a reaction out of him doesnβt even cross his mind - because no matter how attractive he may be, he canβt imagine that a serious, educated girl like you with big plans for the future might be interested in a guy like him.
So even if his iciness thaws a bit, he doesnβt let it show that having you around messes with his head, and stays a stern instructor who wants you to get the routine down to a T. βWe canβt afford to make any mistakes,β he always says. But thereβs something about the way he delivers his instructions sometimes that makes it impossible for you to concentrate on the dance. Heβs always either dancing with you, your bodies just a foot apart, or sitting on the floor close to you and watching you, so he doesnβt need to speak so loud for you to hear him. Itβs this quietness mixed with the strictness of his tone that makes your insides completely melt. Soft yet rigid, intimate yet steely.Β
βDonβt put your heel down, stay on your toes.βΒ
βKeep your eyes focused on me, especially when youβre spinning.βΒ
βAlways keep your core and your head straight.βΒ
Words that have no double-meaning whatsoever, yet it doesnβt take long for you to start wondering if he keeps this tone everywhere. Whenever those thoughts cross your mind, youβre practically unable to look him in the eye and speak without stammering. He makes you dizzier than the spins you practice.
Itβs on the fifth day that you realize how deep your infatuation with Sunghoon truly is. The routine isnβt exceptionally long, so after five days of practicing, you have all the steps down, except for the lifts which he keeps putting off for later. He watches you do it on your own, and although he admits you know it in and out, he said thereβs still something missing. The pang of disappointment you feel at his words soon turns into anticipation as he comes to stand in front of you, closer than usual, and brings your hand to his chest, keeping both of his own over yours.
βFeel this?β he says, voice almost a whisper. By now, youβve gotten used to the intensity with which he always stares at you, but this time seems different; thereβs something more vulnerable, more intimate about his gaze, something you donβt quite understand. You just stare right back at him, unable to look away.
You arenβt sure what he means so you lightly shake your head no. βHere,β he insists, pressing your hand more firmly to his chest, and it clicks. He wants you to feel his heartbeat. Your eyebrows jump slightly, and his lips form a small smile at your realization. βClose your eyes.β he says softly, and you do as told.Β
βThe steps arenβt enough, Baby. You have to feel the music. Itβs within you, itβs within me, itβs within all of us. You just gotta find it.β This was something youβd heard a lot of times before, said by singers on the radio, by some of your friends in the high school choir - that they felt the music. But youβd never quite understood what they meant until now, until Sunghoon showed you. With two fingers, he starts tapping against the back of your hand to the rhythmic beat of his heart.Β
βDu-dum, du-dum. Feel it now?β he asks, and you nod, too transfixed to produce actual words. His smile widens, and your heart swells because of his expression, more affectionate than youβve ever seen it.Β
βNow dance.β
Your body moves as if of its own accord, the moves now ingrained in your muscles and coming as a reflex to you. Together, you go through the whole routine with no music. You hadnβt needed to check yourself in the mirror to know you did perfectly - the smile on Sunghoonβs face tells you enough.
When the evening rolls around, thereβs a lightness to your demeanor that both confuses and delights your parents, but even if they asked you to explain what happened, you donβt think youβd be able to find the words to do so.
-
Sure, Sunghoon doesnβt look at you like he hates you with every fiber of his being anymore, and he even dares crack a smile or laugh once in a while, but itβs not like youβre the best of friends either. There are still moments when he gets frustrated with you - one of those being the time you practice the opening of the routine. He hadnβt yet taught you that part, but as soon as he showed it to you, you understood why.
You stand back to him, heads turned towards each other. Your heights match perfectly so that, when standing so close together, his lips are right in your eyeline. His beautiful, plump, kissable lips that you find yourself thinking about too many times.
Your left arm stays by your side but your right arm is raised so that he can trail his fingertips all the way from your hand down to your waist - a sensual move that, despite setting the tone for the routine, you are not at all ready to perform. Not because it requires any kind of complex technique or years of practice, far from that, but because you donβt yet have the professionalism that Sunghoon, Chaewon and other performers like them have. Nevermind his fingers brushing past your armpit, which is obviously a ticklish place, you canβt handle the seriousness that comes with such intimacy, nor can you resist the urge to laugh every time. This, of course, does not please Sunghoon.
The first couple times it happens, he just rolls his eyes and sighs, thinking you just need to get your head in the dance and then youβd be fine. So he gets back into position, again, again, and again, and even though your full-blown laughters turn into quieter snorts or chuckles, you still canβt find it in you to keep a straight face.Β
After the sixth time, his patience runs out. You can tell he wants to blow up at you by the redness of his face and the iciness of his stare, but when he speaks, he doesnβt raise his voice - his tone is so harsh that thereβs no need for it.Β
βYou pull yourself together, or weβre done here.β
Whether he means youβre done for the day, or completely done with the practice, meaning all your efforts this week go to waste and you donβt perform on Saturday, you arenβt sure, but you donβt think this is the right time to question him. You get back into position, and finally, on the seventh try, you donβt laugh. After so many times, his touch doesnβt tickle so much - rather, it burns. Now, instead of resisting laughter, you have to keep yourself from completely melting under his touch.
But then, you realize that this is what youβve been daydreaming about this whole time - to have him close, to have him touch you. Even though this was still part of the routine, the point of this move was to show the chemistry between the two dancers, the attraction they needed to, or at least pretend to, have for each other to take the performance from good to mesmerizing. Good thing you didnβt need to pretend.
Of course, Sunghoon has touched your waist and shoulders thousands of times by now, but after so many days together, you start to crave a different kind of touch, and in different places. You never let yourself relish too much in the warmth of his palms for fear of getting too used to it, and, worse than anything, missing it when heβs gone - as if that wasnβt already the case. But with this opening move, you can finally let yourself melt under his touch and play it off as being really into the dance. If anything, heβd probably be glad youβre letting your reserves go.
And so you do. Eyes closed, head tilted towards him and slightly back, revealing more of your neck, you feel his fingertips brush along your side until they reach your hand, and you start dancing. For the two minutes of the routine, you arenβt even thinking of the steps anymore, only looking into his eyes and letting your muscle memory do the work for you.
At the end, you stay in the final pose for a few seconds longer than usual, looking into each otherβs eyes. Sunghoon isnβt the most expressive person ever, so youβd quickly learned how to decipher the slightest changes in his face. In this moment, he looks at you like he sees you for the first time, really sees you, with something like pride in his eyes. You smile at each other, and his next words make your heart skip a beat in surprise at first, then swell in satisfaction.
βI think that was the best youβve danced so far. If you do it like this on Saturday night, itβll be perfect.β
-
However, thereβs one last thing you needed to learn: lifts. Sunghoon has been putting them off almost the whole week, saying youβd get to them later, that you needed to get the other steps down before. There are two in the routine, and whenever one comes up, Sunghoon says βthatβs for later,β and keeps going with the dance. Except later never comes, and soon enough, you only have a day left to learn and perfect those lifts. The stress of not mastering them on time starts to get to your head, and your stress must be contagious, because Sunghoon explodes for the first (and only) time on Friday afternoon when you make a mistake in the basic steps.
βAre you kidding me?β he suddenly yells, taking a wide step back away from you and looking at you with uncharacteristic anger. Sure, he wasnβt always the most pleasant with you, and you were no stranger to Sunghoonβs expressions of or dislike, but you hadnβt seen anger on him until now. No matter how beautiful he is, you have to admit this isnβt his best look.
βWhat?β you respond, voice at the same level as his, not understanding his sudden burst of impatience.
βWhat?! This is a basic step you shouldnβt even be thinking about anymore, let alone not get right. The performance is tomorrow, you canβt be making stupid mistakes now!β He sighs in frustration and tears his gaze away from you for a moment, then looks back, his eyes hard. βIs this your idea of fun?β
You scoff and cross your arms over your chest. βMy idea of fun? You really think Iβm doing this for fun?β He doesnβt say anything, just keeps on staring at you. βIβve been breaking my back and sneaking around for almost a whole week just to save your ass, I donβt get anything out of it, and you have the nerve to ask me if Iβm doing this for fun?β You can see he wants to say something, but you donβt let him. βOh, and Iβm glad you seem to remember the performance is tomorrow, because Iβll have you know you still havenβt taught me those damn lifts! How can you get mad at me for a small mistake when you wonβt even teach me the whole routine?!β
Youβre out of breath after screaming so loud and so quickly, but still Sunghoon doesnβt move for a few seconds, until suddenly, he pivots and walks towards the door. At the threshold, he turns to you and tells you to follow him, as if that should have been obvious. He doesnβt give you any time for questions so you run after him. Outside, a heavy summer rain is coming down, and your clothes are soaked through after just ten seconds. You walk a few steps behind him as he heads to his car, muttering a curse under his breath when he realizes heβs forgotten his keys inside the locked vehicle. You let out a small shriek when he breaks one of the backseat windows to open the door from inside, reaching for his keys still resting in the ignition. You just stand there, watching him in confusion, until he calls to you from the driverβs seat. βCβmon! Thereβs a place I need to show you.β
You know itβs a bad idea - youβve already been gone for over an hour, and if you leave with him for God knows how much longer, your parents would start to wonder where you are. But thereβs something about his face, his anger that had completely disappeared and let way for what seemed like excitement, the rain pouring down and the loud sound of his carβs motor; it all creates a rush of adrenaline in you, and you want to know what he has in store. So you get in the car, and as soon as youβre buckled in, Sunghoon backs out of the parking lot and starts driving, the destination completely unknown to you, but you trust him enough to not be bothered by that.
The two of you drive for around ten minutes in comfortable silence, sometimes catching the otherβs eye in the rearview mirror and bursting into giggles. You donβt know why, but when you open your window and let your arm out, letting out a big whoop, he laughs like itβs the most amazing thing heβs ever seen.
In the week you spend together with Sunghoon, these are the moments you love the most. When heβs seemingly let go of his barriers and lets you see a side of him that you donβt think many people get access to, a side to which laughter comes easy. Although it gives you whiplash when he so suddenly goes back to his serious and stonelike nature, youβd rather get glimpses of his carefree self than forever be stuck with the face he usually puts on with you. You arenβt sure if he is always one or the other with other people, or if he keeps his tendency to almost switch personalities with everyone, but youβre just glad it doesnβt feel like heβd always prefer to be somewhere else than with you anymore - and that it almost feels like he enjoys, or at the very least tolerates spending time in your company now.
He parks in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, on a small patch of gravel between the road and a forest, right before a bridge that crosses over a current. He gets out and starts towards what looks like a forest, telling you good-humoredly to hurry up and follow him. The rain has calmed down to a drizzle, gentle as it falls on your shoulders and a refreshing break from the sweltering heat of the past few days. Faster than you expected, youβve reached your destination, which is a point where the current is calm and a wide trunk tree crosses it. You have no idea how Sunghoon ever found this place, but youβve never seen him wear such an ecstatic expression, so you donβt even question it.
He takes his shoes off and gets on the tree trunk, spreading his arms wide to keep himself from falling. You sit down, one leg on each side of the trunk, and watch amusedly as he titters and regains his balance, sending sheepish smiles your way when he gets close to plummeting into the water.Β
βWhereβd you learn to dance?β you ask suddenly, the question forming in your head and leaving your lips simultaneously.
He considers you for a second, then plops himself down on the trunk, letting his legs sway over the emptiness. He looks out to the current when he speaks, as if talking to the air around him rather than directly to you. βI lived and went to school in a low-income neighborhood, so there were always these people coming and going, trying to get kids like us to start working and get out of the neighborhood, or make it better or something. One day these people came in, saying they were giving out lessons to become a dance instructor, and it was the only one that ever caught my interest. I did it, aced the test, and they gave me a spot here that I managed to keep every summer. Havenβt wanted to do anything else since.β He looks back at you and you catch a glimpse of cautiousness, perhaps a fear of finding judgment in your eyes, but his expression turns friendly again when he finds only curiosity and sympathy there.
βWhat about the rest of the year? Do you also have a teaching job back home?β you ask, daring to go further in your interrogation of Sunghoonβs personal life. Just a few days ago, youβd never have dreamed of asking him something like this, but thereβs something about him today that makes you think itβs okay to get closer, if you tread lightly.
He snickers humorlessly and looks down at his hands, palms resting on the trunk in front of him. βIβm lucky I get to escape that place just three months a year when Iβm working here. Otherwise, Iβm stuck with the old man and his carpenting business Iβm fated to inherit when he retires.β Before you can say anything in response, he jumps back up on his feet and holds a hand out to you, making a motion for you to come to him. Youβre slightly taken aback at the sudden switch in his demeanor, but you know better than to force anything with Sunghoon. βWe didnβt come here to chit-chat, did we? Come over here.β
Devilish - thereβs no other word to describe his expression at that moment.
βNuh-uh, Iβm not getting on there, Iβm gonna fall and break an ankle,β you immediately protest, but he doesnβt need to say anything, just approaches you with a mischievous smile and reaches his hands out to you - and you take them, letting him bring you to your feet.
You climb up tentatively, glad to see the trunk isnβt slippery even after the rain, and hold on tight to Sunghoonβs hands until youβve managed to find your own balance. βOkay, what now?β you say breathily, half-paralyzed in terror and half-pumped with adrenaline.
βLetβs dance,β he says, a playful smile teasing his lips.
βWhat, here?β you reply, looking at him like he suggested you rob a bank.
βYes, here.β He grabs your hand tighter and brings you closer to him, securing an arm around your waist before you can stumble off of the trunk. Itβs definitely your near-death experience and not his proximity that makes your heart beat faster, definitely.
He quietly hums the song, but youβve heard it so many times at this point that you could do the dance with no music at all. More than dancing the same steps, thereβs something electrifying about knowing that the same song is playing in your and Sunghoonβs heads right now. You wonder if he feels it playing in his heart too.
What youβre doing isnβt quite dancing - youβre just taking small, careful, clumsy steps together, giggling as you try to stay atop the trunk and letting out a yelp when he attempts to spin you but it only results in you two almost falling off. He holds you close as if making sure that if one of you goes down, the other goes down with them. Your face is right in front of his chest, and when you risk a look up at him, heβs already gazing down at you, his playfulness making the light in his eyes shine even brighter.Β
Your breath hitches in your throat when his eyes drift down to your lips, moving as you talk, but you still manage to get the words out, whispering them in the small space between the two of you. βYouβre supposed to teach me lifts, arenβt you?βΒ
βYeah. Letβs go,β he whispers back, but makes no move to leave the trunk or distance himself from you.
βOkay,β you breathe. You repeat the word and take a step back, somehow gathering the will to tear yourself away from him, from his eyes fixated on your parted lips. βLetβs go.β
He leads you back through the woods to a wide clearing. After the downpour of the early afternoon, the sun is starting to shine again, rays of light making their way through the grayish clouds and high pines, and bathing your surroundings in a comforting glow. Sunghoon stands facing the sun, and the sunlight hits his face so perfectly, you have to keep yourself from snorting at how ridiculously handsome he is.
The only instructions he gives you are as follows: βYouβve seen lifts before. You know you just run to me to gather momentum, then when youβre close enough, bend your knees and keep your core and whole body tight as I lift you. But the most important thing is that you trust me, alright? If you donβt, we could both get hurt.β
The first few times, you just practice the running and the picking up, not wanting to venture into the actual overhead lift right away. Itβs easy enough - just find the right distance, the right speed, and remember not to let your body go limp in Sunghoonβs hands.
But when youβve gotten the hang of it, and Sunghoon tells you to try the complete lift, you freeze. You just stop right in front of him, looking at him with wide eyes. βThis is too scary, I canβt do it.β
To your surprise, instead of letting out an annoyed sigh or rolling his eyes, Sunghoon smiles. His eyes go soft and the corners of his lips tug up.
βWhatβs scary?β
βFalling. Getting hurt, hurting you,β you say, looking into his eyes with the hope that heβll make all your anxieties go away.
βDonβt think about those things. Donβt think about anything, just trust me. Let yourself be picked up first, and then weβll worry about your form and how to keep it, okay?β
βO-okay.β You walk a few steps back to regain some distance, and he nods reassuringly as you take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. You run to him, and as if his words had gone straight from his mouth to your limbs, you let him lift you - and the world looks so different from this high up.
You marvel at the feeling of floating in the air, but you quickly start to feel yourself slipping forward, and Sunghoon is yelling βHold it, hold it!β and before you know it, youβve dipped forward and fallen right on top of him. Thankfully, it was a slow fall, and he had time to soften the blow, so that the immediate reaction from the both of you is to burst into laughter.
You roll over so that youβre laying on your back next to him and rest your palms on your stomach, feeling it shake with laughter. Once youβve calmed down, you turn your head towards him and he imitates you a second later. You probably look like idiots, out-of-breath and smiling widely at each other in this field, but there isnβt a thing you would change about this moment.
βDo you know what the best place to practice lifts is?β he asks, and you watch how his dimples disappear and reappear as he talks. You shake your head. His dimples deepen. βThe water.β
You change locations again, heading back towards the current and finding the lake it stems from. You and Sunghoon turn your backs to each other as he takes his t-shirt off and you, your denim shorts, not wanting them to weigh you down in the water. When you turn back around, you have to force yourself to detach your eyes from his perfectly defined abs and shoulders thanks to years of dancing and physical exertion almost every day. You stare out at the lake like itβs the first time youβve ever seen so much water, otherwise youβd be gawking at him like itβs the first time youβve ever seen a man. Your cheeks burn up when you feel his eyes on your legs, taking your half-naked figure in, and he chuckles as you rush to hide yourself in the water.
Once in the water, you practice the actual lift, which consists of Sunghoon hoisting you high above his head and you keeping a straight posture, with your arms perpendicular to your body and your chest slightly lifted as if you were truly soaring through the air. It already looks difficult, and yet itβs even harder than it looks. It does help being in the water because at least youβre not scared for your life when you lose your balance and dive forward, but you let out a yelp nonetheless each time it happens. Sunghoon keeps on telling you to hold your posture, but each attempt ends in you falling into the water and bringing him down with you.
You drift apart and swim back towards each other every time, your arms wrapping around his neck and his hands coming to your hips to get back into position for the lift. Youβre having a lot of fun, too much fun, probably, when the performance is just a day away - but getting to see Sunghoonβs smile and hear his laugh as you play around and try your best at the lift makes it worth it. When the strap of your tank top slips over your shoulder, you notice out of the corner of your eye Sunghoonβs hand reaching for it just as you put it back yourself. He plays it off by raking a hand through his wet hair, getting it out of his eyes, and smiles shyly at you when your gazes lock. You have no idea whatβs going to happen after the performance, if youβll stay friends or if heβll pretend like this never even happened - all you know is that youβd be happy doing this all summer.
βOne last time?β
-
And just like that, itβs late Saturday afternoon and the performance is just an hour away. You barely eat or speak during dinner, partly out of nervousness, but mostly because you want your lie of having a headache and needing to rest in your room more believable. Chaewon had said sheβd help you put your dress on and get ready before the show, so when youβve escaped the dinner table, you rush to her cabin.
But just as you exit the building, an old woman you recognize as Mrs Jung walks in. She must be surprised at your sudden appearance because she slightly bumps into the door and drops her bag. An unusual amount of wallets fall from it, but you donβt think too much of it - youβve seen rich people do weirder things.Β
You bend down to help her gather her things, and she chuckles lightly, thanking you. βSuch a sweet girl, isnβt she, Harold?β she says to her husband who had appeared behind the door as well. You wish them a nice evening and part ways, gushing to yourself over how cute old couples are as you head to the Chaewonβs cabin.
She does your hair, pulling it into a tight bun and securing every stray strand with a bobby pin. You have no experience with makeup since itβs always been off-limits in your house, so she expertly applies eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick to your face. The sticky feel of it is unfamiliar but once you look in the mirror, you almost canβt look away. Itβs still you, of course it is, but the bright colors make you look glamorous, like performing in front of a large crowd is just routine for you. You thank Chaewon, a huge smile on her face, and watch her own light up in relief that you like the makeup.
As she zips your dress up, a flowy baby pink dress she got out of her closet just for you, you repeat back all the instructions Sunghoon has given you over the week to make sure you remember everything. βI just gotta keep my head up, keep my core and my arms straight, follow the mu-β
βThank you, Baby,β Chaewon quietly interrupts, and the slight tremble in her voice and the vulnerability with which she looks at you lets you know she really means it. You stop your declamation immediately and smile at her, kindness in your eyes.
She looks down and tries to find her words. βYou know, I- I just want you to know that I, I donβt sleep around, and Heeseung, I really thought he loved me, and-β
You can see the tears already forming in her eyes so you bring her into a tight hug, resting your cheek against the side of her head. βI know, Chaewon, donβt worry. And even if you did sleep around, it wouldnβt matter, Heeseung should take responsibility no matter what. Weβre all here to help you. Donβt worry.β You lean back to hold her face in your hands and try to give as reassuring a smile as you can.
βIβm scared, Baby,β she whispers, trying to calm her sobs to get the words out.
βEverythingβs gonna be fine, Chaewon,β you say, and you hope she believes it as much as you do. βEverythingβs gonna be just fine. Youβve got Sunghoon, and Jake, and youβve got me too.βΒ
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in. When she opens them again, she grabs your hands and shakes them between the two of you, mirroring your smile. βOkay, okay,β she murmurs. βSorry, this isnβt the best time for me to break down. You feeling ready?β she asks, and even if itβs just for now, youβre glad sheβs feeling better and got to let her emotions out.
βNot at all, Iβm so nervous. I donβt want to mess something up and let you or Sunghoon down,β you admit, your smile wavering for a second.
βWhatever happens, you wonβt let us down,β she says, squeezing your hands. βItβs amazing, what youβre doing.βΒ
You canβt help but look away at her words. βItβs the least I can do,β you mumble.
βNo, Baby, youβre doing more than most people would. And Sunghoon, he might have his own way of showing it, but heβs extremely grateful for you,β she says, and it puts a smile on your face.
βBy his own way of showing it, do you mean not showing it at all?β you joke.
βThatβs Sunghoon for you.β You giggle quietly together, but her eyes drift to the clock on the wall behind you and she lets out a sigh. βItβs time, Baby. And donβt worry, I know youβll do amazing,β she says, bringing you into a brief hug.
Youβre so nervous, everything that follows is a blur - leaving Chaewonβs cabin and sneaking over to Sunghoonβs car, the drive to the Sheldrake Hotel, the staff there leading you backstage, and finding your spot on the stage. You only snap out of it when the curtains lift and a voice booms from the speakers in the room, announcing βSunghoon Park and partner dancing the mamboβ as the audience breaks into polite claps.
The music starts, and Sunghoon can immediately feel the tension in your body. He trails his fingers all the way down your arm to your waist, just like youβd practiced a ton of times before, and he uses the proximity between the two of you to whisper βRelaxβ into your ear. βJust follow my lead, youβve got this,β he says, loud enough for only you to hear, and extends his arm to send you spinning.Β
You manage the first few steps, trying to let go of your anxiety, but itβs got a tight grip on your body and makes your stomach twist. You think itβs all over when you mess up a turn, going right instead of left, but Sunghoonβs quick to whisper βover hereβ and you find your way again. βLook at me,β Sunghoon says once youβre facing each other again, and you lock eyes with him. And for some reason, that works - focusing only on him makes you feel like itβs just the two of you in the room, just like so many times this past week, and it dissipates all your nerves, makes your muscle memory kick in. You finally let him lead you and follow the music, thinking of nothing but Sunghoon and dancing together.
And yet, when itβs time for the lift, you freeze again. You find your position and run to Sunghoon, just like you know youβre supposed to, but you canβt let him lift you, your limbs turning into lead in his hold. Thinking quickly, you come up with another step on the spot, hoping it isnβt too obvious to the audience you just messed up. Sunghoon takes the lead again, and the rest of the performance goes smoothly, the other moves and the smaller, easier lift realized perfectly by the both of you.
You finish off the number, and the sound of the applause directed at the two of you fills you with a pride youβd never felt before, a feeling much more satisfying than any good grade or won argument ever had. Another sort of daze fills your mind now, and it makes you feel like thereβs a small cloud under your feet so that youβre floating instead of walking everywhere. It almost makes you miss the Jungs, but when you see the old couple slowly walking out of the room, youβre scared you might be done for.
You rush back to the parking lot with Sunghoon, whooping in excitement as soon as you're out of anyoneβs earshot. In the backseat, you change out of your dress and back into your regular clothes.
βGod, that was- that was amazing, I canβt believe you get to live this every week during the summer, it was just- my Godβ¦β you say, struggling to get your right hand through the sleeve of your blouse.
βYeah? Did you have fun?β Sunghoon answers, a smile on his face that turns into a gulp when he sees your half-naked body in the rearview mirror. He canβt help but risk a few more glances, hoping you donβt notice.
βI did, I really did, but I- I messed up that one turn, and I didnβt do the lift-β
βThat doesnβt matter,β Sunghoon says firmly. βYou did real good, Baby.β And after a beat, he adds: βThank you. You did real good.β Your eyes lock in the mirror but you look away before he can catch sight of your reddening cheeks.
βAnd oh my God, there was that couple, the, the-β
βThe Jungs, right? Yeah, I saw them too,β Sunghoon chuckles. βI got so scared.β
βRight? Me too! They wonβt say anything, will they, do you think?β
βProbably not. I donβt think they even recognized either of us.β
You button your jeans and climb your way over to the passenger seat next to Sunghoon, grateful for the lack of headrests in his car. It suddenly grows quiet between the two of you. You want to ask whether youβll keep meeting now that youβve done your part, but youβre afraid Sunghoon might want to have nothing to do with you from now on even if it doesnβt seem like he dislikes you anymore. So you stay silent, watching out of the window, sometimes turning your head towards Sunghoon and catching his eye, then smiling at each other shyly.
Something in you is screaming at you to reach out to him, brush a hand over his hair, interlace your fingers with his - any kind of touch. You thought the ball of nerves in your stomach would disappear after the show, but itβs still there, and itβs taken hold of your entire body now, the anticipation of whatever is to come almost unbearable. You notice Sunghoonβs gaze ping-ponging between you and the road, and the tightness with which he holds the steering wheel, and you dare let yourself hope, just a little bit, that he shares those same wild thoughts jumping around your mind.
When you reach the parking lot next to the staff quarters, Sunghoon is quick to get out of the car, while you rub at your eyes and lips, trying to get as much makeup off as you can. Your parents would most likely be in bed by now, but just in case they were still up, you didnβt want them to catch you with bright red lips and blue eyelids. Sunghoon walks around to your side and opens your door for you, even grabbing your hand to help you out of the car. Once youβre out, he takes your other hand in his, facing you as he walks slowly backwards, and with the way heβs gazing down at you, you think those unspoken thoughts might finally come into the light. But before either of you can say anything, you hear quick footsteps rushing towards you, and a familiar voice calling out to Sunghoon.
He swings around to find a panting, alarmed-looking Jake. βSunghoon, itβs- itβs Chaewon, something went wrong, sheβs not feeling well-β
Neither of you need to hear more before youβre running to the cabin, reaching it in record time. Thereβs way more people than there should be in and outside Chaewonβs room, all watching and doing absolutely nothing except for another girl you recognise as part of the dancing crew holding a wet cloth to her head as Chaewon, her face covered in sweat and her eyes shut tight in pain, moans and mumbles incoherently, slightly delirious from fever. The girl at her bed steps aside when she sees Sunghoon approaching, and he kneels next to Chaewon, holding her hand in both of his and reassuring her as best she can.
βItβs that doctor,β Jake starts, βhe was so shady, had a folding table and a dirty knife, and I- I heard screams coming from that room, Hoon, awful screams, and I tried getting in and getting Chaewon out but they wouldnβt let me-β
Whatβs obvious to you right now is that Chaewon is in desperate need of an actual doctor, and nobody here can provide that for her, so you rush out of the room, and, as fast as your legs can carry you, run to your father and wake him up in a hurry, grabbing his doctorβs bag. Youβre glad for your fatherβs blind trust in you - other than an instinctive βIs Seeun alright?β, which you nod your head at, he doesnβt ask any questions, just sees you need his help. He listens to your unclear and frantic explanations of whatβs going on as he follows you to the staff cabin.Β
βAlright, out of the way, everyone, give the girl some space,β your father says as he enters Chaewonβs room, the way he carries himself and speaks instantly commanding obedience from the group. People filter out as he takes Sunghoonβs spot next to Chaewon, checking her pulse and temperature. βWhoβs responsible for this lady?β he asks without looking away from his patient.
βI am,β Sunghoon says, taking a step towards him. βIs she gonna be okay?β He seems so distressed you want to take him into your arms and tell him itβll be okay, but you canβt do that - not here, not in front of your dad.
Your father turns his head to take a look at Sunghoon, his expression unreadable, then turns back to Chaewon, leaving Sunghoonβs question unanswered, floating in the air ominously.
He makes you all leave the room, and you wait for what feels like hours until your father finally comes out, his briefcase in hand, and announces that Chaewon just needs some rest and then sheβd be okay. He lets Jake thank him and shake his hand agitatedly, but once again just stares Sunghoon down and ignores him when he tries to do the same. He takes you by the shoulder, making you walk away with him without saying goodbye to anyone. Heβs silent for a few moments, waiting to have gone down a few steps before he speaks, and when he does, his voice is tense and almost trembles with anger.
βIs this what my money paid for? Iβm disappointed in you, Baby. Youβre not who I thought you were.β He doesnβt even let you defend yourself, just keeps walking without looking at you. βI donβt want you to hang around those people anymore, do you understand?β
βBut dad-β
βI donβt want to hear it,β he says firmly, and the slight increase of volume catches you off guard. Not once has your dad raised his voice at you, or at least not since you were a child - thatβs how you understand how truly upset he is at you. He finally turns around to look at you, his eyebrows furrowed. βAnd get that stuff off of your face before your mother sees it.β
The rest of the walk back to your bungalow is done in unbearable, utter silence, and you canβt wait to be away from your father and the anger pouring off of him in waves. But that silence doesnβt seem to go away, even when you finally reach your bed, even when your sister starts snoring quietly, completely oblivious to the events of the night. The silence grows so loud in your ears that it creates a fuzz all around your brain, making your head throb and blurring your thoughts, rendering them incomprehensible. The sheer weight of it forces your eyelids closed even though you donβt feel tired at all - thereβs too much going on in your mind for you to fall asleep.
Thereβs the relief of your father having helped Chaewon, and the knowledge that sheβll be okay thanks to him; but thereβs also the image of his disappointed expression etched into your brain and the words βYouβre not who I thought you wereβ playing on a hellish loop. Thereβs the worry he wonβt ever see you the way he used to, that you wonβt be his little girl anymore, but thereβs also the satisfaction of that exact thing, the liberation that comes with your father finally realizing youβre not perfect and make mistakes too.
And then thereβs Sunghoon.
Thereβs Sunghoon, and his concern for Chaewonβs safety, his love for his friend that heβs known for years, the hurt on his face when your dad didnβt shake his hand, and the way he quickly retracted his own thereafter, a defeated expression like he was used to such disrespect. But before that, thereβs his dimpled smile and sharp canines you find weirdly endearing, the carefree sound of his laughter after you fall on top of him in the water, his warm hands guiding you from step to step, the quick glimpses he throws your way when he thinks youβre not looking but hopes that you are. Even before that, there were the ice-covered walls he put around himself and his friends that could melt as quickly as they could freeze back up, until finally one day he opened the door for you to come in. There was the elegance in his moves and the feeling like all the air in the room had evaporated when you watched him dance, only for it to fill you back up when he took you by the hand and showed you how to let yourself go for the first time.
The fog in your mind clears at the thought of him, like sunlight forcing its way through gray clouds after a thunderstorm. You need to see him.
You need to check on him, to make sure heβs feeling alright, and laugh with him if he is or cry if he isnβt. You need to hold his head between your palms and graze a hand through his hair and do and say all the things youβve been wanting to this week.
You climb out of your bed and grab the first cardigan you see, then slip your shoes on and make your way to the front door. You try to be as quiet as possible, but once outside, you hang back just for a few moments in case anyone has heard you leaving, so that if they come to check, you can just say youβre getting some fresh air on the front porch. No one seems to stir so you rush to Sunghoonβs cabin. Itβs past midnight and the only light guiding you is that of the stars and the bright moon up above.
When Sunghoon opens his door, he seems at once relieved and surprised to find you there. βBaby,β he simply says, gazing down at you. He looks so tired, you think. The performance at the Sheldrake was just a few hours ago, but it already feels so far away.
βHey. Can I- can I come in?β you ask, slightly out-of-breath from your walking so fast.
βYeah, yeah, of course,β he says, turning his body to let you in his cabin. Since your first time here, that night youβd found Chaewon crying in the kitchen, youβd learned more about this place. Thanks to his seniority here, Sunghoon has a separate studio-like cabin further down the path where all the staff bungalows are, and itβs bigger than most of them, even though itβs still just one room that accommodates his bed, a closet, a desk, a sink and some other chairs, shelves and drawers.
A soft song is playing in the background and the main light is off, the small lamps here and there providing enough light for you to see. You hadnβt at all thought to look around when you were here last, so youβre curious to really see what Sunghoonβs living space is like.
You walk further into the room, taking in your surroundings and reveling in all the traces of Sunghoonβs life - discarded clothes here and there, a stack of record players from the early fifties to now, posters of movie stars and famous singers, some photos of him with Jake, Chaewon and other members of the entertainment team. He looks around like heβs seeing the room for the first time too, maybe trying to see it through your eyes and imagining what you could be thinking of it. He picks up clothes from the floor and from an armchair only to throw them in his closet, gesturing for you to sit down, and rubs the back of his neck in what seems like an embarrassed gesture.
βItβs not muchβ¦ youβre probably used to a lot betterβ¦β he says with an apologetic tone.
βNo, no, itβs great,β you say quickly, not wanting him to feel embarrassed. You look at him with a smile. βI love it here.β
He mirrors your smile, letting out a shaky breath of relief, then sits down at the edge of his bed, too far away for Β your liking. The tense atmosphere from earlier in the car is back, filling the room with the silence of a thousand unspoken words. A beat passes before you speak up. βIβm sorry about the way my father treated you, Sunghoon. It wasnβt nice.β
Sunghoon looks genuinely shocked upon hearing your words and starts to shake his head fervently. βNo, no, your father was great, the- the way he took care of Chaewon, I could never do anything like that in my life, he was amazing.β
βYes, but Iβm talking about you, Sunghoon, not Chaewon. He completely ignored you, he should have treated you with more respect.β His eyes find yours, and the look on his face like he wants to believe you but canβt quite bring himself to makes your heart ache.
He chuckles and lets his head hang low, looking down at his hands. βWhy should he? Iβm- Iβm nothing,β he says quietly, so quietly that you think you might have misheard, because never in a hundred years would you have thought that someone like Sunghoon could think so lowly of himself.
Your surprise makes it hard to gather your words and say something coherent, but you try your best. βWhat- Sunghoon, how could you say that? Youβre not nothing, youβre- youβre everything,β you say, the last word coming out breathy.
He looks at you like heβs never heard those words before, never had somebody tell him he was so much more than he thought he was - but maybe thatβs because heβd never told anyone how he really felt. A pained expression flashes across his face, and youβre scared you mightβve said the wrong thing but his next words reassure you that thatβs not it.
βYou donβt understandβ¦ One month, Iβm living off of scraps and struggling to make ends meet, and the next, rich ladies are stuffing hundred dollar bills in my pockets and giving me the key to their room. Everywhere I am, people just use me to get what they need. My dad basically forces me to work with him and doesnβt give a crap what I really want, the women here use me to escape the boredom of their lives, and Max and his asshole grandson Jay just want me to make as much money as I can so they can get even richer.β His voice gets louder the more he talks, the anger getting to him. He chuckles darkly, but his expression softens when he catches your gaze. βI have to live like this. If I start thinking I deserve more, that I- that Iβm everything, like you say, Iβll never be satisfied. Iβll always want more. I canβt handle that.β
βIt doesnβt have to be that way. It shouldnβt be that way,β you say quietly, shaking your head and looking at him sadly. You donβt know how to make him see that for the joy he brings everyone who gets to see him dance, for the care and safety he gives the people he loves, and the way heβs made you feel like you can finally escape the thoughts in your head, he deserves everything he wants in the world. You donβt know how to make him see his worth and the respect he deserves as much as anyone else.
He smiles at you wistfully, like he can see his own, long-gone, naive hopefulness on your face. βIβve never met anyone like you, Baby. You look at the world and you think you can make it better.β
Itβs your turn to chuckle humorlessly. βYeah, I run to my daddy, like you said.β
βNo,β he says firmly, his tone catching you off guard. βNo, that took a lot of guts, doing what you did. I love that about you, you just go ahead and do things. You didnβt even know Chaewon, and yet you learned a whole professional routine in a week just because you wanted to and you could. And now you risked your relationship with your father just to help her out once again. You- youβre not scared of anything!β
βMe? Iβm scared of everything!β you cry out, suddenly standing up, the emotions boiling in your stomach making you unable to sit any longer. βIβm scared of the disappointment in my parentsβ eyes, of failing school, of being stuck in a life I canβt escape fromβ¦β Your gaze travels around the room before it settles on Sunghoon once again, your gazes locking each other in so tightly you donβt know if youβll ever be able to look away. βBut most of all,β you continue, voice shaky and desperate, βIβm scared of leaving this place and never, ever feeling again the way I do when Iβm with you.β
His jaw tightens and he has to force himself to look away from you, his eyes focusing on a random object in the corner of the room. With the way he huffs air through his nose and tenses his whole body, he almost looks angry, but you know thatβs not it - finally, after a week of torturous hesitation and not-knowing, you understand how Sunghoon feels about you. He feels just like you. All those lingering gazes, those small shocks of electricity whenever you touched, those loud heartbeats at his constant proximity, he felt them too, and it drove him crazy too; youβre sure of it.
Or at least, almost sure of it. And thereβs only one way to confirm your suspicions.
Sunghoon thinks youβre not scared of anything, so youβre going to prove it to yourself. You take a step towards him, then another one, and another one, until youβre standing right in front of him. You extend a hand out to him and he doesnβt question it, just takes it and rises, now towering over you as you had over him just a second ago. Youβre as close as you usually are when you dance together - or perhaps a bit closer than that.
βDance with me,β you whisper into the space between your bodies.
βWhat, here?β he whispers back, finally looking at you. His gaze lingers in your eyes before dropping to your lips, his pupils slowly dilating - thereβs your confirmation.Β
βYes, here,β you reply, echoing your conversation on the tree trunk, which somehow was only yesterday.
You wrap your arms around his neck just as his hands come up to hold you by the waist. Itβs a position youβve found yourselves in a hundred times by now, but tonight, it feels so different. The air around you is charged with electricity and all of your moves are purposeful, trying to make the other feel all that youβre feeling with just a touch.
Tight in each otherβs arms, you sway to the slow rhythm of the music, your head resting in the crook of his neck while his hands travel from your waist, to your shoulder blades, back down to your hips. Even with two layers of clothing between your bodies, the feeling of having him so close sends shivers down your spine, even though your skin burns everywhere it comes into contact with him. Your breath makes goosebumps appear on the side of his neck, and when his grip on your hips tightens, you take it as a green light to start pressing faint kisses to his skin. He bunches the fabric of your blouse in his hands, slowly pulling it from the confines of your jeans and over your head, making you raise your arms. He makes a ball out of your top and throws it somewhere across his room, his attention fully taken by the sight of your now half-naked body. He immediately discards his own t-shirt, putting his hands back on you as quickly as he can, as if scared you might suddenly disappear.
You go on dancing together, bodies moving in harmony, as if youβre one being rather than two. You let your hands travel over his shoulders and chest and rest them on his stomach as you lean your upper body backwards, trusting him to hold you while you circle your way back to him. When you do, his hands roam down to grab your ass and hike one of your legs around his hips, the friction of your pelvises rubbing together eliciting a heavy, relieved sigh from both of you.
Finally, your lips find each other, and you kiss like youβre each otherβs sources of oxygen. Of course, Sunghoon is one of, if not the best, kissers youβve ever had the honor of sharing a kiss with, because how could he be anything other than perfect? The way he kisses is intense and a little bit messy, and it ignites your whole body, making you crave only more and more until youβve had everything you want. Your hands and his are restless, endlessly drifting over each otherβs bodies, grabbing at shoulders or hips or strands of hair.
He walks backwards to his bed, never once breaking the passionate embrace, until the back of his legs hit the mattress. He sits, spreading his legs wide enough for you to stand between them. His face is right at the level of your chest, and the way he looks up at you as he presses hot, open-mouthed kisses there makes your insides burst and the fire in your core burn harder. Keeping eye contact with him is too much to handle, so you close your eyes and let your head back slightly, grazing your hands through the soft locks of his hair and simply enjoying the feeling of his mouth on you. His warm hands roam your lower back before traveling north to the clasp of your bra. He undoes it but doesnβt take it off - instead, he calls your name, and itβs never sounded better than on his lips.
βBaby?β
βHm?β You look back down at him and find in his eyes a sort of lustful, dreamlike daze that youβre sure must reflect your own perfectly.
βAre you sure you want to do this?β he asks breathily, wanting to be certain this is okay for you, but sounding like itβd be the death of him if you said no.
You smile softly and take his head in your hands. βIβve never been more sure of anything.β
He smiles too, exposing his sharp canines and pretty dimples, and sighs of relief. βThank God.β
Your bra comes off, and you almost laugh when his pupils blow out at the sight of your naked chest, but your amusement dies, cut off by a loud moan as soon as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth, twirling his tongue around and sucking on the sensitive bud before moving on to the other one. One of his hands rests on your ass while his other arm is wrapped around your waist, and his grip on your waist tightens every time you make a sound that he particularly appreciates. Youβre pulling at his hair so much, youβre almost scared of hurting him, but truth be told youβre too focused on the way his mouth feels on you to really be careful about it.
βCome here,β he says, voice hoarse. His jeans arenβt doing a very good job of hiding how hard he is, and he groans at the sudden contact when he pulls you down into his lap. You press kisses everywhere you can - his cheeks, the crook of his neck, his hair, before finding his lips once again. You donβt even realize youβre grinding yourself against him until he breaks away from the kiss to let out a quiet moan, and you bury your face in the dip between his shoulder and his neck, breath hot against his skin as you whine in pleasure.
You could do this for hours, and maybe you do - but at some point, you start needing something more and your core throbs, desperate for more attention. And what better way to communicate that to Sunghoon than to show him exactly what you want?
You unwrap your arms from around his shoulders and let your hand roam down to the waistband of his jeans, smiling shyly at him as you get down on your knees in front of him. He watches with a pained expression, like the anticipation of what youβll do next actually hurts him, as you unbutton and unzip his jeans, then slide them along with his boxers down his legs. To distract from the fact that his size slightly intimidates you, you take him in your hand right away, circling his reddened tip with your thumb before starting to bring your palm up and down his shaft while your other hand rubs his thigh.
Youβre absolutely breathtaken by the sight in front of you: Sunghoonβs abs tensing visibly at your ministrations, his head hung back and his neck and Adamβs apple flushed red on display for you, moans increasing in volume as you continue. You had a feeling Sunghoon wouldnβt be a quiet one, and youβre proud to be proven right.
You put your own needs aside for now, just wanting to see Sunghoon in as much pleasure as you can give him. You bring your head forward and lick a stripe up his length, satisfied when he lets out his loudest moan so far. You donβt tease for too long, only licking at his tip for a bit before taking more of him in your mouth. You keep one hand at the base of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the part youβre able to reach.Β
This is the first time youβve gotten so much pleasure from giving - maybe because Sunghoonβs reactions feed your ego, maybe because youβre so obsessed with him that knowing youβre making him feel good is enough, or maybe both. Definitely both.
But Sunghoon doesnβt let you have your fun for too long, and soon pulls your face gently away from him. His flushed face and fucked-out expression is gratifying to say the least. You look up at him with a smile, rubbing his thighs with your palms as you wait for him to catch his breath.
βA minute longer,β he says, panting, βand I wouldβve died.β You giggle at his dramatics and hoist yourself back up, about to position yourself again on his lap but Sunghoon has other plans. He lays you down on your back and comes to rest on his side next to you, holding himself up on a forearm; that way he has both full access to and full view of your face and body. Perfect.
His face is close enough to yours to press kisses there and on your neck while his hand makes his way down your body. When it reaches the waistband of your jeans, you donβt wait for him to say or do anything and undo them yourself, which makes Sunghoon smirk.
βImpatient, are you?β he teases.
βYouβre one to talk,β you bite back with a smile, even though your cheeks start to burn.
He slips a hand under your jeans, and gathers slick from between your folds before starting to rub small circles on your clit with the pads of two fingers. He soon gets frustrated from the way your clothes restrict his movements, and whispers in your ear, βMight as well take everything off while weβre at it, donβt you think?β
You roll your eyes at his playful tone but comply, more than happy to undress if it means he can touch with more ease. And indeed, he wastes no time before slipping a finger inside you, smirk widening at the loud half-gasp half-moan you let out at the feeling. βMuch better,β he whispers again, but any comeback is wiped from your mind as he adds a second finger in, curling them so that they hit just the spot. Youβre drenched at this point, your arousal sticking to the inside of your thighs, but that only makes it easier for him to slip his fingers in and out and means youβre more than ready for him. He keeps his thumb on your clit so that the friction there doesnβt stop either, and it isnβt long before you start to feel that familiar knot twisting your insides, appearing much quicker than youβd like it to.
βSunghoon- Iβm gonna, Iβm-β
βYou are, huh?β he breathes against your neck in between kisses. And just like that, as if youβd told him to stop and not that you were about to finish, he slips his fingers out of you, watching your reaction with a devilish, amused smirk.
βWhat? No, no-β you whine, but itβs no use. He rolls away from you, opening the drawer in his bedside table to retrieve something, and heβs lucky itβs a condom, because you might have killed him if it was anything else.
βJust because itβs our first time, Iβm making you cum on my cock,β he explains as he rips open the small packet and puts the condom on. He comes back and places himself over you, pressing a kiss to your cheek and aligning himself with your entrance. βNext time, youβll cum on my fingers and mouth as much as you want, Baby.β
And then, he pushes in.
You donβt need to tell him to go slow, or to wait before he starts moving; he knows. He holds himself up on his hands, biceps tight, and watches your face carefully for any sign of pain or discomfort while he furrows his way in, inch by inch.
When he finally bottoms out, he presses a soft kiss to your glistening hairline and bends down to whisper in your ear, βIβve been thinking about this all week, and itβs even better than I imagined.β
The corners of your lips tug upwards, but the feeling of Sunghoon filling you up like this makes your brain go fuzzy and you canβt even begin to form coherent words or thoughts. You grab on to his biceps and shoulders as he starts to move back and forth, slowly at first, but progressively picking up speed, your moans egging him on.
He takes one of your legs and hikes it up around his hip, allowing him to go deeper and hit that spot that has you arching your back and crying out. Youβre clawing at his back, eyes shut tight and mouth going dry, and his fast, regular rhythm is bringing you to the edge once again. Either Sunghoon has terrible timing, or he knows precisely how close you are and wants to tease you, because he slows down and pulls out. βI just want to make it last a bit longer,β he explains, murmuring the words in the crook of your jaw and neck before pressing a kiss there.
He pushes himself away from you and sits up on his bed, his back against the headboard. He looks at you with a lopsided smile, and when you position yourself on his lap, you take a couple moments to admire him before taking him again. His hairline beads with sweat, his face and upper body are flushed a light red color, his breathing is quick and shallow, mouth slightly agape, and his eyelids are heavy with lust, eyes almost closed. Heβs never looked so good.Β
βHave I ever told you how beautiful you are?β he asks, and you smile both at the compliment and at the fact that you were thinking the same thing about him just a second ago, as if you shared each otherβs exact thoughts. You shake your head, and his gaze turns loving as he brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. βYouβre so fucking beautiful, Baby. There. Said it.β
You kiss him passionately before taking him in your hand and raising yourself on your knees to guide his tip towards your entrance, keeping eye contact with him as you sink onto his length. The new position hits even more sensitive spots and makes the two of you moan simultaneously.Β
Deciding to let him rest for a bit, you start moving yourself up and down on his cock, quickly settling into a nice rhythm that doesnβt tire your legs out too much but still manages to make you see stars. You hold onto Sunghoonβs shoulders, hands sometimes grabbing onto his hair while his stay firmly planted on your ass, kneading the soft skin there. You try to hold his gaze for as long as you can, but the pleasure starts to overwhelm you and you canβt do anything but shut your eyes, head falling back as loud moans escape your lips. Thereβs no way you could have kept it quiet, so youβre extremely grateful that Sunghoonβs living quarters are far enough away to avoid an audience.
Despite the immense pleasure of being on top of him and of choosing your own rhythm, your thighs start to hurt after a few minutes of this. Thankfully, Sunghoon notices your decreasing pace and the way your legs falter, and takes things into his own hands, finally ready to stop edging and bring the both of you to your ends. One hand on your lower back, one arm wrapped around your shoulders, he presses your chest firmly to his, hugging you tight, and starts bucking his hips into you at a pace that has you crying out into his shoulder. Your hands find purchase in his hair, pulling tight enough to hurt at the roots. If Sunghoon stops, it might be the death of you, so even if itβs a struggle to get the words out, you want to let him know how you feel.
βFuck, Sunghoon, right there, please donβt stop, please- oh, my God!β
The sound of your two bodies coming together is lewd, but it only adds to your bliss, and in just thirty seconds of this, the knot in your stomach breaks loose and sends your whole body trembling against Sunghoonβs. Heβs not long after you, the sound of his name over and over on your tongue as you cum sending him tumbling over the edge. You feel hot tears streaming down your face at the relief of finally having come undone, and the sounds leaving your lips now are fainter, your body too weak to even make any noise.Β
You stay like this for a few moments, body limp on top of his, allowing your breaths to return to normal. Youβve had two boyfriends before, and they were the only two youβd ever had sex with, so itβs not like you had already discovered everything about the joys of sex, but you knew for sure that it didnβt always feel like this, didnβt always take you to heaven and back. Usually, youβd have stood up and cleaned yourself by now, but with Sunghoon, you never want to leave this spot. Fall asleep like this, wake up like this, stay as long as you wanted like this. But after a few minutes, Sunghoon stirs and you jolt out of your daze, getting off of him, wincing slightly at the sensitivity between your legs.Β
He slips from his seated position and lays on his back. You follow suit, turning your body towards the ceiling, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of touching him, of getting closer - or maybe scared that heβll suddenly want to be left alone, or worse, never want to see you again. But all your negative thoughts dissipate when he shifts to his stomach, sliding slightly down the bed to rest his head on your chest, burying his face there, hugging your waist tight, and letting out a contented sigh. Although your heart swells at his ridiculously cute actions, to say you arenβt a bit surprised would be a lie - after seeing a leading, more dominant side to him all week, since he was the one teaching you the dance and guiding you through the moves, you had thought it would translate to the way he was in bed. Yet, he had let you do what you wanted, let you set your own pace, as much as he had himself. And now, he was perfectly happy seeking out your affection and not making you come to him. It made you appreciate him that much more.
One of your hands makes its way to his back, grazing your fingernails along the expanse of it, while the other plays gently with his hair. You fall asleep in record time, perfectly at peace and exhausted from so much exertion.
-
When you wake up a few hours later, youβre still laying on your back, and although Sunghoon has drifted away, probably due to the heat in the room, your legs are still intertwined and heβs got an arm resting on your midriff. Thereβs nothing to let you know the time, so you look out the window and notice with panic that the sun has started to rise, which means it must be close to six a.m. You try to shake Sunghoon awake, but he just grumbles something incoherent and hugs you tighter to him, which you absolutely would have swooned over if you didnβt need to get back to your bungalow - and so you shake him harder.
βSunghoon, wake up!β you say, far too quietly for it to actually wake him up, but he looks so cute asleep that itβd break your heart to wake him up too harshly.
βWhyβ¦β he whines, face buried in your neck and voice coming out muffled.
βI donβt want my father to notice that Iβm gone,β you say, the aftertaste of the words bitter in your mouth.
βWhy, what time is it?β he asks, slowly coming to his senses.
βIβm not sure, but he never wakes up late, so I donβt wanna risk it.β Your father, needing a real break from intense work days, had started waking up at 6:45 instead of 5:30 every morning. How relaxing.
βBut I want you to stay,β Sunghoon grumbles, and you bless him for speaking your own thoughts but also curse him for making it harder to leave.
βI know, so do I. But Iβll see you later, okay?β
A beat. βFine,β he sighs, then pushes himself off of you. He doesnβt look at you while you put your clothes back on and walk out of the room, but you know he canβt have fallen asleep again so quickly, so youβre terrified of having said or done something extremely wrong, but you canβt take it back now, so you just close the door behind you and rush back to your own bed.
The breakfast table is completely silent, the tension between you and your father clear to your mother, who doesnβt say anything, scared of accidentally adding fuel to the fire, and even to your sister, who eats her grapefruit quietly, darting her eyes back and forth between the three of you. Jay shows up from only God knows where and, not even trying to read the room, asks cheerfully what youβre all planning on performing at the show.
βWe wonβt be at the show,β your father says, making everyoneβs heads snap towards him. βWeβre leaving tomorrow morning, miss the weekend traffic.β
βWe havenβt discussed this, honey,β your mother says just as Seeun whines, βBut Daddy, weβll miss the show!β You keep quiet, pretending the overcooked scrambled eggs on your plate are the most interesting thing youβve ever seen.Β
βItβs the biggest night of the season!β Jay chimes in, also trying to persuade him.
βYeah, and I wanted to sing something!β your sister adds.
Your father looks back and forth between your motherβs and sisterβs bewildered faces, then sighs and begrudgingly bows to their wishes. βAlright, alright, it was just an idea.β
A smile breaks on your motherβs face and Seeun clasps her hands together with a small noise of joy. βPerfect,β Jay exclaims, pointing a finger at you as he walks away. βBaby, Iβll need you for props.β
βSo, Seeun, what songs do you have in mind?β your father asks and gets up, gesturing at your sister to follow him, although he looks completely uninterested. She practically jumps up from her seat and starts listing all her song ideas, leaving her half-finished breakfast behind.
You finish eating your own, making small talk with your mother for long enough so that she isnβt suspicious of your trying to escape, although you can tell she knows something is up and just wonβt mention it. You thank her silently for it, and excuse yourself from the table to go check up on Chaewon.
When you get to her room, sheβs still in bed, but isnβt sleeping and doesnβt look in pain anymore - sheβs sitting up, flicking through a fashion magazine. She smiles brightly when she sees you at her door, discarding the magazine and extending her hands out to you.
βHow are you feeling?β you ask as you take her hands in yours, crouching next to her bed.
βMuch, much better,β she says, sounding relieved at her own answer. βYou just missed your father. Heβs an amazing man.β
You only have time to talk for a minute when the door opens once again to reveal Sunghoon. Seeing him creates a pit in your stomach, either from the memory of what you did last night or from the way you had to escape soon thereafter. You stand up straight, taking a few steps away from Chaewon. He looks at you briefly before turning his attention to her, and asks the same question you did moments prior.
βIβm feeling a lot better. Babyβs father says Iβm still able to have children.β
βThatβs great, Chaewon, thatβs amazing,β Sunghoon says, sounding relieved.
βBut what about you guys? How did the show go last night?β she asks, a hopeful expression on her face.
Sunghoon glances at you, and you avoid his gaze as best you can. βIt went well,β he simply says, not explaining any further.Β
βYeah, I didnβt do the lifts, but other than that it went well.β
Chaewon looks at him, then at you, and all at once notices the awkward tension in the air - and she understands the situation as clearly as if it had been written out in black and white for her.
Itβs silent for a few seconds until you speak. βWell, I guess I better go thenβ¦ Iβll see you around.β You give Chaewon a small smile and head to the door, letting your eyes linger on Sunghoon before slipping out. But of course, you canβt actually bring yourself to leave, and sit on the stairs a few meters away from the door. From where you are, you can hear every word spoken inside the cabin.
βSunghoon,β Chaewon starts.
βSo, youβre feeling better, huh?β
βSunghoon.β
βBut you should still get some rest, right?β
βSunghoon, stop it.β That shuts him up. βWhat are you doing? Youβve told me so many times not to get mixed up with them,β she says, sounding at once worried and reproachful.
βI know what Iβm doing, alright?β
βSunghoon, listen to me you gotta stop it, you know itβs not gonna end well-β
βI said I know what Iβm doing,β he snaps, but seems to immediately regret it. βIβm sorry. Iβm sorry, Chaewon, I just- youβre in no position to be worrying about me right now. I know what Iβm doing. I trust her.β Thereβs a small silence, and you have no idea what expression Chaewon must be wearing right now. Is she unsure, satisfied, worried, angry? Is she nodding, trying to respect his decision, or looking like Sunghoonβs making the biggest mistake of his life? βIβve gotta go, but Iβll see you later, alright? Rest up.β
βAlright, see you later, Hoon,β she says quietly, and when Sunghoon opens the door, he finds you waiting for him. You stand up and just look at him, unsure how to express whatβs on your mind. Youβd completely forgotten everything you had meant to tell him.
βOh, hey, Baby,β he says upon seeing you.
βHey.β
You both just stand there, staring at each other, no idea how to start the much-needed conversation.
βLook, Iβve got a uh, a lesson I need to go to right now, soβ¦β he trails off.
βRight, right, no problem,β you say, nodding far too vigorously.
βBut Iβll see you around.β
βYeah, you will.β
Neither of you move for a few moments, and you feel like youβre completely stuck in place, unable to move until youβve had the reassurance that things can stay as they were between you and Sunghoon. But he walks past you, already a few meters away when you gather the courage to call out his name, and he turns around so quickly, you dare to hope he might have been waiting for you to do so. You donβt say anything, you just smile, and hope he understands. He smiles back, an actual smile where his dimples appear and the corners of his eyes crinkle, and you know that for now at least, everything is okay.
-
βGod, I am so sick of this rain,β your sister complains as she dabs powder on her face, covering up non-existent blemishes. All four of you are in the living room of your bungalow, resting after lunch and getting ready for the rest of the day. You and your father play a boring game of checkers, trying to make the tension disappear slowly, while your mother reads some detective novel.
βWhere is my beige iridescent lipstick?β Seeun asks furiously, punctuating each of her words, as if that was the kind of everyday thing that lies about in everyoneβs house.
Your father wins the game and looks relieved that itβs over more than anything. You pick up a light raincoat and head towards the door, but your mother calls out your name, stopping you in your tracks.
βWhere are you going in this weather?β she asks with curiosity rather than wariness in her voice.
βTheyβre playing charades in the main lobby,β you reply casually, used to giving out random excuses by now.
βQuite the little joiner, are we?β your sister teases, and youβre not sure if sheβs just making fun of you or if she knows youβre up to something but you ignore her anyway and walk out of the cabin.
You make your way to Sunghoonβs place as quickly as you can to avoid the rain. You had ran into him that morning and, when your parents werenβt looking, he let you know that he was free all afternoon with a smile that was as good as a spoken invitation.
He brings you into a hug as soon as youβve closed the door behind you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, murmuring an apology into your hair. βIβm sorry I acted so awkwardly yesterday. You left so suddenly that night, and I was scared you regretted itβ¦β
You lean back and gaze into his eyes. βI regret absolutely nothing, Sunghoon.β
He breathes out a relieved sigh, smiling as he nods. βGood. Me either.β
You press your lips to his, and although the kiss starts out slow and soft, it doesnβt take long for things to heat up. You let out a small yelp when Sunghoon lifts you up and carries you to the bed, laying you down gently on the mattress. He holds up to the promise heβd made the other night - namely, making you cum on his tongue and fingers as much as you want, or rather, as you soon find out, as much as he wants.
He starts by undressing you slowly, taking his time to revel in the sight of your naked body and the idea that itβs all for him. He only leaves your panties on, rubbing small circles over your clothed clit as he works his mouth on your nipples and breasts, paying each side its due attention. He then makes his way down, leaving warm kisses everywhere he can from your stomach to your inner thighs, and makes sure to work you up and have you squirming before actually slipping your panties off and giving you what you want. Once heβs wrapped his lips around your clit, itβs like he canβt get enough. With two fingers inside you, he sucks and licks at the sensitive bud for what feels like so long that you donβt know how his wrist and jaw donβt get tired. You donβt even try to count the number of times he makes you cum, simply taking every orgasm in stride, and even though you get so sensitive after a while, youβve entered some sort of blissful, exhausted daze that you canβt bring yourself to break away from.
Afterwards, youβre lying next to Sunghoon, your head resting on his chest and grazing your fingernails up and down his arm while he plays with your hair. Youβve somehow managed not to fall asleep despite the tiredness filling your entire body, and you and Sunghoon talk quietly, the sound of the rain outside like a peaceful background song. You listen to him describe his dream of opening a dance school someday and choreographing professionally, then he listens as you talk about all the places you want to visit and the things you want to learn about the world. You share childhood memories and awkward first kiss anecdotes and compare your relationships with your parents and the similar sort of pressure they put on your shoulders, albeit for two very reasons.
βMy dad especially, he just doesnβt understand that dancing can be an actual profession. He sees it as some kind of hobby Iβve had since I was a teenager and that itβll pass soon when I realize I canβt make a living out of it. He completely ignores the fact I get paid more in three months here than in half-a-year with him, but he doesnβt mind taking the part of my salary I give our family when I come back, thatβs for sure,β he chuckles humorlessly. βIβm scared heβll think Iβm betraying him if I donβt take up his carpentry business.β
βI was top of my class in elementary school, and my parents thought that meant I was the brightest little girl in the world and would grow up to achieve great things,β you explain in a joke-admirative voice. βAnd even if they tried not to say anything, I could see the disappointment on their faces when I brought home a B or was ranked third at a test. Iβm happy I got into Yale, and that they can afford to pay for my studies, but itβs just gonna be even more pressure for four more years.β After a beat, you decide to add, βI can only forget about all of this when Iβm with you. You just make all of my worries disappear for a while.β
The conversation takes a slightly sentimental tone as you tell each other what your first impression of the other was. You admit sheepishly to Sunghoon that you were attracted to him as soon as you saw him dancing with Chaewon that first night, and that you hadnβt been able to stop thinking about him after he danced with you, even though you found him a bit of an asshole the first couple of days he taught you the dance. You tell him you were sure he hated you at first, and he reveals that he didnβt at all.
βBut I can see why you thought that. I justβ¦ I had never met anyone like you, Baby. Someone who thought she could just show up somewhere and decide to help a stranger out for no other reason than to help them out of the kindness of their heart. I didnβt know if you were the most foolish or the bravest person ever. And yeah, Iβll admit, I wasnβt the nicest to you at first. I kinda have this thing againstβ¦ against rich people, I guess,β he says, chuckling softly. βFor me, a wealthy person is like Max, or Jay, or all those ladies here. They use their wealth to get you to do what you want. But youβre not like that, and it took me a while to understand that. Iβm sorry,β he finishes, pressing another kiss to your hair.
βNo, no, itβs okayβ¦ Iβm sorry theyβve all treated you like that. You deserve better.β He thanks you quietly and a comfortable silence settles between the two of you for a few minutes and youβre close to falling asleep when Sunghoon calls out your name.
βHm?β
βWhatβs your real name?β
You raise your head to look at him and flash him a big smile. Itβs been ages since someone asked you that, most people not bothering to question your nickname.
βItβs Y/N.β
βY/Nβ¦β he echoes, gazing at you lovingly. βIt fits you perfectly.β
You press a gentle kiss to his lips in response, and you think itβs gonna end at that, but Sunghoon pulls you back in right as youβre about to lean out, and you know youβre done for. Youβre still extremely sensitive but that only adds to the pleasure of him filling you up, intertwining your fingers with him as you make love, his thrusts slow but deep and your bodies pressed flush against each other. Your heart is bursting with something that you can only recognize as love.
-
That night, as youβre on the verge of falling asleep, your sister says something that jolts you awake.
βIβve decided to go all the way with Heeseung,β she says, a hint of a smile in her voice.Β
You snap your head towards her. βWhat? Seeun, no, you shouldnβt-β
βIβve already thought about everything. I want it to happen on the night of rehearsals, I know what Iβll wear-β
βNo, Seeun, listen, you canβt do it with Heeseung, Iβve already told you heβs bad news!β you whisper-scream, trying to get some sense into her head without your parents overhearing.
βWho else with, then?β she whisper-shouts back.
βJust- I donβt know, but not with him, it needs to be with someone you actually love, someone you can trust-β
βI can trust Heeseung. I do trust him - more than I trust you, actually,β she says, the conversation taking another turn.
βSeeun-β
βNo, Baby. You donβt actually care about this, or even about me. All you care about is that youβre not Daddyβs little girl anymore. He listens when I talk now.β She turns her back to you with a huff.
βSeeun-β you try again, but sheβs already done talking.
βGoodnight.β
You want to find a way to stop your sister from wasting an important experience like having sex for the first time on a guy like Heeseung, but you also know that once sheβs set her mind to something, itβs hard to stop Seeun from doing it. Maybe this will be a lesson for her to learn from, you think, trying to reassure yourself.
The next afternoon, when your parents are busy playing cards with another couple and Seeun is off somewhere with her friends, you sneak off to visit Sunghoon in his dance classroom. He has an hour free in between classes and you use that opportunity to mess around for a bit. You put on a song you both love and dance together whichever way you want, acting out and lipsyncing to the lyrics. You have fun teasing him by swerving your head when he leans in for a kiss or trailing your hand along his arms, shoulders and back.
The sound of loud footsteps coming up the stairs spoils your fun, and you quickly position yourself face to the mirror and pretend youβre practicing basic mambo moves while Sunghoon heads to the record player. The one and only Jay stands at the door and seems to falter for a second at seeing you here.
βHey, Baby, taking dance lessons?β You simply nod at him. βI could teach you kid,β he says, mirroring your moves and dancing a few steps until Sunghoon makes the record scratch, stopping the music abruptly. Jayβs arms drop to the side and he gives you a look as if to say βcheck this guy out,β and you try not to roll your eyes at him.Β
βSunghoon,β he says, walking towards him with all the confidence of a boss talking to his employee. The addressee simply raises his chin at him, pretending to busy himself with the record player. βMy grandfather put me in charge of the talent show, and Iβve been thinking about the final dance. Iβd like to uh, you know, do something different-β
βYeah?β
βMove with the times-β
βYeah? Thatβs great, Iβve got plenty of ideas-β Sunghoon says, speaking so quickly he cuts himself off, but Jayβs smile drops instantly. βWeβve been working on something with the staff, it goes like-β
You watch in the mirror as Sunghoon dances a step youβve never seen before, and it looks really cool but Jay shakes his head, gesturing at Sunghoon to quiet down like he would a kid, as if they werenβt the exact same age.
βWoah there, youβre way over your head, boy.β Sunghoon stands up straight once again, jaw locked tight. βI was thinking, instead of doing the last dance to the mambo, how about, this year, doing it to the pachanga?β Jay asks, looking at you with a smile and nodding, as if heβd just said the most revolutionary thing ever.
βRight,β Sunghoon says coldly, bursting Jayβs bubble.
βWell,β he says, clearing his throat, βyouβre more than welcome to do the same tired number as the previous years, but Iβm sure that next summer, weβll find a dance instructor whoβs-β
βThe pachanga,β Sunghoon cuts him off, raising his voice over Jayβs. βGreat idea, Jay, letβs do that.β
A satisfied smile grows on Jayβs lips as Sunghoon turns back to the record player, and he struts back towards you. When heβs close enough, he leans in and says conspiratorially, but still loud enough for Sunghoon to hear, βHeβs, uh, a bit hard to get through to sometimes, but the ladies seem to like him.β He doesnβt realize that youβre one of said ladies. βMake sure youβre getting the full half-hour youβre paying, kid,β he says once heβs at the door, and slips out on that graceful note.
Sunghoonβs next class takes place on the gazebo, so you accompany him there, trying to keep up with his long strides made quicker by his frustration. βGod, I just hate that guy, he has no idea what heβs talking about. He wouldnβt recognise a good idea if it hit him in the pachanga,β he huffs angrily.
βBut canβt you just talk to him? Iβm sure heβd listen if youβd just tell him-β
βDidnβt you see what happened, Baby? He wonβt listen. I canβt get everything I want just by asking, heβs the one with the money, with the power, I canβt do anything-β
βBut it isnβt right! You have to fight harder-β
βThatβs not how it works for me, Baby-β
You let out a small gasp, interrupting Sunghoon whose head pivots towards you, but you take him by the shoulders and bring him down to a crouch next to you. He follows your gaze to find your father, leaving a building with Heeseung and Seeun. Your dad brings his arm around Heeseung and shakes his shoulder in a fatherly manner while Seeun looks at them with a smile.Β
Sunghoonβs muscles tense in realization - you donβt want to be caught with him, especially not by your father.Β
Youβre completely oblivious to this, and stand back up when the three of them are out of sight. βAlright, I think theyβre gone,β you say, and only realize what youβve done when you see the tight expression on Sunghoonβs face.
βFight harder, huh?β
You just messed up real bad. βNo, Sunghoon, I was planning on telling him, I just havenβt yet-β
βI donβt believe you, Baby. I donβt think youβve ever had the intention of telling him,β he says, shaking his head. His eyes look down at you harshly, and it hurts so much more now than when youβd just met.Β
βSunghoon, please-β
βI gotta go. Iβll see you later, Y/N.β
You watch Sunghoonβs shrinking figure, cursing yourself for your cowardice and for your inability to do exactly what you preach. Your father was already so disappointed in you for simply being friends with Sunghoon, so if he knew what you were actually up to, he might go and disown you.
A few hours with no one to spend them with get you thinking. You had always thought your father was the best man on earth. Funny, loving, kind, fair. But you now realize it might not be so - he is prejudiced towards people who arenβt like him and isnβt forgiving of othersβ mistakes. He made you believe in a world where everyone should be equal, but he himself doesnβt treat everyone the same.Β
You also hate what this is doing to Sunghoon. You, who had told him he deserved everything he wanted, werenβt even capable of holding his hand proudly for everyone to see. So, for Sunghoonβs sake as well as for your own, you have to tell your father how you feel for Sunghoon, and put up a fight if he tries to stop it.
But first, you had to find Sunghoon and apologize. Itβs nearing dinnertime, and he shouldnβt be working anymore, so you go look for him in his room. He isnβt there, so you head to his dance studio, then the gazebo, and anywhere else you can think of where he might have classes. But heβs nowhere to find, and after half-an-hour of running around, your last option is to go ask Chaewon where Sunghoon might be. At least, you know sheβll be in her room, still recovering.
You take a second to catch your breath then knock on Chaewonβs door, then wait until she calls you in to open the door. βHey, Chaewon, have you seen Sunghoon?β you ask, only realizing after youβve said the words that it might be rude to be so direct, but you donβt have time to apologize because your eyes shift to the other person in the room, who is, of course, Sunghoon himself. He stands up from his seat on the armchair in the corner, looking at you with an unreadable expression. He could be anywhere on a scale where one extreme is βhe hates you and never wants to talk to you againβ and βhe has never been so relieved to see youβ and youβd have no idea.
βCan we, um, talk? Outside, if itβs okay?β you ask, eyes darting back and forth between Sunghoon and Chaewon. She smiles and jerks her head towards the door, silently telling Sunghoon to go with you. He purses his lips and nods, following you outside and closing the door behind him.
He rests his palms on the banister of the front porch, looking out at the lawn and the resort buildings in the distance. You stand behind him, bringing your palms up to his arms and kissing his shoulder. He closes his eyes and sighs, basking in your touch despite himself. βIβm sorry, Sunghoon. Iβm sorry.βΒ
He turns around, gazing down at you with that unreadable expression on his face. βItβs okay. I understand.β
When he kisses you, the relief in your bones is like nothing else, better even than coming home to your bed after a long, tiring day, or than getting a good grade on a test you thought youβd failed. Your arms wrap around his neck while his find their way to your waist, and you revel in the closeness of your bodies and the taste of his lips, like mint and something uniquely Sunghoon that you canβt ever get enough of.
But unfortunately, you stay long enough in this position to attract the attention of a one-man audience. βDamn, guess I picked the wrong sister,β you hear Heeseung chuckle, and when you pull away from Sunghoon, you see that insufferable smirk on his face. How you wish you could just smack it off of there. βDidnβt know you put out like that, Baby.β
It all happens so quickly, you donβt have time to understand whatβs going on, let alone stop Sunghoon from jumping over the banister. He stomps over to Heeseung, grabbing him by the collar and shaking hard.Β
βRepeat what you just said, I dare you,β he says in a low, menacing voice, face close to Heeseungβs. The latterβs smirk falters for just a split second before coming back, as if incapable of not looking like an arrogant asshole for more than a few seconds at a time.
βI said,β Heeseung starts, βthat I hadnβt thought Baby was so fucking easy.β
Heeseung has barely finished speaking that Sunghoon has raised his fist back, ready to strike the insolent expression off of the boyβs face. Itβd be satisfying, thatβs for sure, but it wouldnβt be worth risking his job, so you call out his name and make him stop in his tracks. He doesnβt look back at you, though, just keeps his hard gaze fixated on Heeseung, breathing heavily in anger.
βSunghoon, please,β you repeat, pleading with him.Β
βSo, whatβs it gonna be, loverboy?β Heeseung teases, but Sunghoon just drops his fist and pushes him away, making him stumble a few steps back.Β
βYouβre not worth it,β Sunghoon practically spits, sending one last cold look his way before walking back to you.
You donβt care enough to check how Heeseung reacts, just watching Sunghoon make his way back to you, relieved nothing happened. He stands in front of the banister, the height difference allowing you to hug his head to your chest and you press a kiss to the top of his head, whispering in his hair that youβre proud of him.
Soon afterwards, you have to head back to the building where the talent show will happen. He could do it anywhere else, but Sunghoon decides to plan out his performance in the same room, using the excuse of needing to see the stage just to stay around you.Β
Youβre painting some sort of fake coconut tree while competitors rehearse their performance, your sister by far the loudest of them. You try not to cringe as her dissonant voice reverbs around the room, but nobody pays her too much attention. Itβs hard not to steal glances every two seconds at Sunghoon, and you tell yourself that he just looks especially good today in his tight black t-shirt and black jeans, but you also know he looks good everyday. His gaze also strays towards you more often than not, and you try not to burst into giggles every time your eyes meet, not wanting to raise any suspicion.Β
This room is also where a group of men play their games of poker, and since it was big enough to host all of you, they had decided to stay there even through the preparations, sure that it wouldnβt disrupt their game.Β
The not-staring takes on another level of difficulty when a lady you recognize as Vivian Kim leaves her spot standing behind her husband at the poker table to make her way to Sunghoon, walking in a fashion far too languorous for your taste.Β
From where you are, you canβt hear exactly what she says, but itβs not hard to guess - an invitation to spend the night with her while her husband is busy, one last time before she leaves the resort and goes home.
Sunghoon stays silent but that doesnβt seem to deter her, and she flashes him a lurid smile before walking back to the poker table. He turns his head to check if youβve seen what happened, but you look away from him and back at your coconut tree, hoping the jealousy youβre feeling isnβt written all over your face.Β
Vivianβs husband calls out Sunghoonβs name, waving him over good-naturedly. You watch once again as Sunghoon walks over to the table and as Mr Kim pulls out dollar bills from his wallet. βTonightβs the final poker tournament, so how about some dance lessons for my wife?β he asks, and you canβt tell from his tone whether he thinks that dance lessons really are what his money is paying for or if he knows whatβs actually going on.
Sunghoon takes the money and Mr Kim smiles at him, returning to the game, but Sunghoon just stands there, staring at the bills in his hands, then to Vivian, behind him to you, and finally back at Mr Kim. βThanks, Mr Kim, but Iβm all booked up for the rest of the week βcause of the show, so I donβt think itβd be fair to take the money.β
Mr Kim nods as Sunghoon hands him back the cash, saying he appreciates his honesty. Vivian looks at him, eyes wide, obviously surprised at his sudden refusal. Sunghoon walks back to his seat, sending a small smile your way, and you try your best not to gloat.Β
-
In the past few days, itβs become a bit of a habit to sneak out of your bungalow and rush to Sunghoonβs when your family has gone to sleep. Except tonight, what you donβt know is that Seeun hears you, because sheβs planning on doing the exact same thing and paying Heeseung a visit. Youβre already with your own lover when she heads out of the room, skipping in excitement and anticipation the whole way there. Sheβs applied lotion to her entire body, sprayed perfume to her neck, wrists and ankles, and has read all the sex advice columns of her favorite magazines - sheβs more than prepared for this.
She reaches the door. Takes a deep breath in, stands up straight. Calls out, βHeeseung, itβs me!β but no answer comes. So she opens the door slightly, and almost drops her bag at the sight in front of her, gasping loudly. She has just enough reflex to close the door again and rest her back against it, taking a few seconds to let it sink in before running back to her bed, where she promptly explodes into tears.
Now more than ever, she wishes her sister was here, whether to comfort her or to say βI told you so.β She wishes you were here to help her make sense of finding Vivian Kim and Heeseung naked together in his bed when he had spent weeks making her believe he wanted to be with her and her only. She wishes you would curse him out and call him all the names she wants to but doesnβt have the courage to.
But unfortunately, youβre not there with her. Instead, youβre with Sunghoon, laying together in bed, your head resting on his chest and your legs intertwined. Youβre both spent from a night of lovemaking and from your shower that was supposed to be innocent but quickly turned steamy. You wake up at dawn, knowing youβll have to go soon but heart breaking at the thought of tearing yourself from Sunghoonβs warm embrace. You press soft kisses to his neck and whisper his name, trying to wake him up gently. His eyes stay closed as he tightens his arms around you and pleads with you to stay just a little bit longer, and youβre not strong enough to say no.
βI had a dream earlier where your father called me βsonβ and put his arm around me like he did with Heeseung earlier.β His morning voice is raspy from sleep and sends butterflies straight to your stomach.
βIβm sorry, Sunghoon,β you hum. βIβll talk to him today. Iβll tell him about you.β
You feel his chest rise up then down as he sighs. βI thought about it, and I feel like itβd make things even worse if he knew about us. He just seems to think Iβm a bad guy, for some reason, and me being with his daughter will only make him hate me more.β
βBut youβre not a bad guy. Youβre the best guy,β you say, voice slightly whiny. Youβre too sleepy to come up with a better reply, and it makes Sunghoon chuckle.
βThanks, Baby.β He presses a kiss to your hair, and itβs become such a familiar gesture that youβre not sure how youβll live without it once you go home.
Itβs not long before you have to head back to your bungalow, and Sunghoon walks you outside, slotting his lips with yours for one last time this morning and making plans to meet up later. You donβt pay attention to anything other than him - not to the slight breeze picking up, or the sun rising, or the staff bungalows, off to the side from Sunghoonβs. But not paying attention means not noticing a figure standing on one of those staff bungalows, not seeing her eyes squinting at yours and Sunghoonβs embrace, first recognising him, and, once her initial shock wears off, recognising you. Because of course, just like you, Vivian Kim has to leave Heeseungβs bungalow before anyone notices - except that in your case, someone notices you.
And the consequences of it appear only a few hours later, as your family are having a late breakfast with Max and Jay. When the conversation first begins, you donβt think itβll be of much importance to you.
βYou know that feeling when you look at a patient and think heβs all fine, but then you get his x-rays and somethingβs completely wrong?β Max starts, addressing your father. βThatβs exactly what it is to find out one of your staff, a trusted one at that, is a thief.β
βWhat happened, Max?β your father asks, eyebrows furrowed.
βMr Kimβs wallet was stolen,β Max simply says, sighing. Jay jumps on the opportunity to explain the story himself, leaning in conspiratorially.
βIt happened yesterday night when he was playing poker. One minute, his wallet was right there in his coat pocket, hanging on his chair behind him, and the next, it wasnβt.β Your sister lets out a small gasp.
βVivian says she saw that dance kid Sunghoon walk by,β Max continues, and your head snaps up at the mention of Sunghoonβs name. βSo we go and ask him if heβs got an alibi, and he says he was in his room alone all night, reading.β
Jay snorts. βThere is not a single book in Sunghoon Parkβs room.β
The whole time, youβre shaking your head slightly, unable to believe that Sunghoon might be wrongfully framed for this. You turn towards Jay, a pleading expression on your face. βListen, thereβs been a mistake, thereβs no way Sunghoon did it-β
βThereβs been similar thefts at the Sheldrake and even here. Three wallets stolen, and now Mr Kimβs!β
βNo, I know he didnβt do it-β
βStay out of it, Baby!β Jay snaps at you. You look at him in disbelief, because of the way he just talked to you, because of what theyβre accusing Sunghoon of, but above all because itβs inconceivable that your parents ever wanted to set you up with a guy like him. Entitled, judgmental, unkind.
But you canβt just stay out of it - this concerns Sunghoon, and if you can stop it from happening, youβll do everything so that he doesnβt lose his job over a false accusation. So you turn towards your father and Max, and plead Sunghoonβs case.
βI know Sunghoon didnβt take Mr Kimβs wallet, I know.β
βHow can you be so sure?β your father asks.
βI-I canβt tell you, but Daddy, please, you have to trust me.β
Your father sighs, turning his attention back to his plate. βIβm sorry, Baby, but I canβt.β
βBut- it couldβve been anyone else,β you continue, looking at Max now that your father avoids your gaze. βMaybe it was- oh, maybe it was that little old couple, the Schumachers, I saw her with a couple of wallets-β
βThe Schumachers? Impossible,β Max refutes as your father furrows his eyebrows at you, raising his voice slightly.
βYou donβt go around accusing innocent people, Baby!β
βBut I saw them, I saw them at the Sheldrake- you said something was stolen at the Sheldrake, right?β you say, turning towards Jay again, your voice growing desperate.β
βListen, Baby,β Max cuts in, voice calm but firm, βIβve got an eyewitness and the kid has no alibi. Come on, Jay, let me show you how to fire an employee.β
You catch his wrist before he can turn away and gulp, preparing yourself for what you were about to say. βWait a minute. I know Sunghoon didnβt do it, I know it, because he was in his room all night, and I know that because,β you pause for a second, risking a glance at your father, βbecause I was there with him.β
The table goes silent. You can feel yourself weighing down under the heavy gazes of everyone seated. After a few seconds that feel like an eternity, Max clears his throat and awkwardly says, βRight, well, weβll investigate some more in light of these news-β
Heβs cut off by the screech of your fatherβs chair being roughly pushed back. You watch as your father leaves the room, steam coming out of his ears, and you can only hope revealing the truth will be worth it in the end.
After giving your father some time to cool off, you find him in the empty gazebo, looking out at the lake. The water is still except for the parts where ducks dip their heads in and back out. Even now that the rain has stopped pouring every day, clouds still render the sky a blinding white, and the sun only appears now and then when they part enough to let a ray through. Thereβs a slight breeze that makes leaves flutter around, and you need to tighten your light cardigan around your shoulders.
You know he sees you approaching, but he keeps his gaze fixated on the lake, even when you call out to him.Β
βI told you I wasnβt lying about Sunghoon,β you start. βBut Iβm sorry I lied about the money. Iβm not proud of myself for that, you know. But you lied too,β you say, and he finally looks at you, awaiting an explanation. βYou told me everyone deserved a fair break, but you meant everyone like you. You said I could change the world, but you meant by becoming a lawyer, or an economist, and marrying someone from Harvard!β
He closes his eyes as if in pain, then looks back out to the lake, staying silent. βI made a mistake. Thereβs things about me you donβt know, and things you might not like, but Iβm in this family too, and if you love me, youβll have to love my faults too.β Your voice shakes and your eyes start to water. Seeing your fatherβs eyes do the same only adds to the difficulty of saying what you want to say.
βBecause I love you, Daddy, and Iβm sorry I let you down, but you let me down too!β Your voice completely breaks on those last words, and you turn away, letting your feet guide you wherever before your dad can hear the sob that escapes your throat. You know your dadβs silent treatment wonβt last for long, so you leave him in the gazebo to think and cry as much as he needs to.
Your body must have developed new instincts, because soon enough, you find yourself in Sunghoonβs cabin, unsure how you even got here. His things are still there, which reassures you of the fact that he hasnβt left yet. You pace back and forth in the room for a few minutes until your emotions suddenly come crashing down, all the stress and tension and strung feelings, leaving behind only exhaustion. You lay on Sunghoonβs bed, thinking youβll just close your eyes for a few minutes. But when you open them again, they fall on Sunghoonβs face, and you have no idea how long youβve been there.
βSunghoon?β you murmur.
βI have been looking for you all over,β he says, crouching in front of you, and gives you time to sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. βYou were right about the Schumachers. Fingerprinted their glasses. Turns out they were wanted in a bunch of other states for theft too. They found them when they were already trying to leave the resort,β he explains, and your smile grows wider and wider as he speaks.Β
βOh my God, thatβs amazing! I knew itβd work out!β
But Sunghoon diverts his gaze down, unable to match your euphoric expression. βIβm out, Baby.β
You quickly put two and two together. βThey fired you anyway because of me.βΒ
βAnd if I leave quietly, I get my summer bonus,β he says sarcastically.
Your anger makes you stand up, walk to one corner of the room then back, your voice rising on its own accord. βSo I did it all for nothing, then? I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway - it was all for nothing!β
βIt was not for nothing!β Sunghoon exclaims, volume matching yours. βNobody has ever done anything like that for me!β He searches your eyes for the reassurance that everything that happened this summer was worth it, but he only finds sorrow in them.
βYou were right, Sunghoon,β you say with a sad smile, voice lowering to a hum, βyou canβt change anything no matter how hard you try.β
βNo, Baby,β he says, walking towards you, βI donβt want that from you, you hear me? You can. You can do whatever you want.β
Your gazes stay locked in each other for a few painful moments until it becomes unbearable and you have to look away. βI used to think so too.β
Thereβs nothing left to say. You watch silently as Sunghoon begins packing the few belongings he has in two small suitcases and a rucksack, then help out when the passivity starts to make your muscles ache. He hasnβt got much, so heβs done in just a few minutes, and you donβt realize you have tears pooling in your eyes until Sunghoon himself notices and wordlessly takes you in his arms.
Youβre heading to his car when he suddenly stops in his tracks, saying he has something he needs to do first. You donβt question it, just agree to wait for him. Itβs not like youβve got anything better to do anyway.
A few minutes later, unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon is knocking on your cabinβs door. Just as heβd hoped, your father is the one to open the door, squinting his eyes meanly at the young man behind it as soon as he realizes who he is. Your father stays silent as he stares Sunghoon down, making a chill run down Sunghoonβs neck. He clears his throat before speaking. βDoctor, I-β he starts, already cutting himself off to take off his sunglasses. βIβm going anyway, and I know what you must be thinking-β
βYou donβt know anything about me,β your father interrupts, shaking his head in disdain at Sunghoon. βAnything at all.β
Sunghoon had really wanted to stay calm and focused, to just say what he wanted to stay, but now that heβs leaving, he has no reason to put up with the blatant disrespect and contempt of the clients and higher-ups any longer. βI know you want Baby to be like you. An admirable person, the kind people look up to, but if you could just see, sheβs already like that-β
βI know my daughter far better than you do, so donβt you tell me what to see,β your father practically barks, unable to contain his anger. βWhat I see right now is someone who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, then moved on to a younger, innocent girl like my Baby.β
Rather than frustrated, Sunghoonβs eyes grow tired and sad. Thereβs no fight left in him anymore - he can see he wonβt be able to change your fatherβs mind, thereβs no point even trying. βYeah, I guess thatβs what you would see,β he murmurs before walking away, back to you, the only person whoβs ever wanted to truly understand him.
And then itβs goodbye.Β
While you were waiting, you kicked pebbles, brooding over the fact that your already shortening time with Sunghoon was getting cut off even more. But as soon as you see him, those thoughts evaporate, and youβre left with bittersweetness in your mouth. You spent the most incredible summer with him by your side, and even though itβs coming to an end, maybe the experience and the memories are all that matters.
Sunghoon closes the trunk when heβs done packing it, and walks over to where youβre standing, back against the passenger door, arms crossed over your chest. He rests his forearm on top of the car and neither of you are able to look the other in the eye for fear of emotion overwhelming you.
βGuess we took them all by surprise, huh?β you say, trying on a light-hearted tone to dissolve the tension in the air.
βGuess we did,β he chuckles quietly, risking a glance up at you. Your eyes meet and before you can break down, you turn your body towards his, nesting your face in the crook of his neck. He presses a kiss to your hair like a hundred times before and itβs enough to make your heart break.Β
βI donβt know what Iβll do without you around.β
He rests his chin on the top of your head. βYouβll just have more time for card games and croquet,β he jokes, but you canβt laugh. βAnd Jake and Chaewon will still be around.β Itβs silent for a few more minutes, and you try to commit the feeling of him against you and the smell of his skin to memory. βIβll never be sorry,β he finally says, voice muffled by your hair.
βNeither will I,β you whisper against his neck.
He inhales deeply and tears himself away, gazing down at you sadly. With his thumb, he wipes a tear as it drops down your cheek, and presses his lips to yours in one last kiss, tasting the saltiness of your heartbreak. βIβll see you around, Baby,β he says against your lips, forehead resting against yours. But he canβt linger - it would only make this impossible moment even harder.
Your vision is too blurry for you to see properly as he walks to the other side of the car and disappears in the driverβs seat. In a matter of seconds, his car becomes a fuzzy black dot in the distance, and youβve no choice but to walk back to the place that made you discover love only to rip it from your hands.
-
The three days until the talent show feel like eternity. Counting down the minutes until you leave doesnβt make time go by any faster, but you donβt feel like doing anything else. You hang out with Chaewon and Jake and their friends when theyβre free, going back with them to the staff main quarters one night, and even though the music is the same as the first time, Sunghoonβs absence changes everything. You canβt dance without imagining his hands on your waist and his voice guiding you through the steps.Β
Seeun is also a lot nicer to you. She tells you what happened with Heeseung, and itβs like your shared love troubles bring you closer, reminding you that youβre not so different after all. As you get ready to go watch the talent show, she sits next to you on the bed, offering to do your hair. But then she takes a strand of it in her hands, trailing her fingers through it, and looks at you with a soft smile. βYou know what, I think it looks perfect just like that.βΒ
You mirror her smile and drop your head to her shoulder. You stay like this for a few seconds, words unnecessary to understand each other. βYouβll do great tonight, Seeun. I canβt wait to watch you.β
βI know,β she replies, making you both giggle. βNow letβs go, itβll start soon.β
Youβre not surprised to see that your parents have chosen to seat you in a corner, trapped between a wall and your father. Practically the same thing, you think, but youβre wise enough to keep the comment to yourself.Β
The performers have gathered in a line on the stage, your sister included, to sing the resortβs last day song as a conclusion to the show now that Sunghoon isnβt here to do the final dance. Max even gets his own solo. The song goes on for far too long to your taste, so you take the time to look around the room.
The lights are dim, save for the ones on the stage so that the focus of the audience stays on the performers, and wall fixtures next to the exits so they can be found easily. Chairs have been brought to the center of the room right in front of the stage while tables line the walls, candles adorning each one. Staff donβt get seats - instead, they stand at the back of the room, their backs against the wall as they watch the stage with boredom written all over their faces. You catch Jakeβs eyes and he winks at you, a mischievous smile on his face, and you chalk it up to his usual playfulness.
Heeseung walks near your table, and your father stands up, calling out to him. He gets something that looks like an envelope out of his pocket, handing it to him. βGood luck in medical school, son.β Heeseung takes the envelope, looking down at it with a smile, and your father rests a hand on his shoulder.
βThank you so much, Doc,β Heeseung beams. βAnd I also wanted to thank you for your help with the Chaewon situation, I guess weβve all gotten into messes like these, huh?β Your father stands with his back to you, so you can only imagine the way his smile falls and his eyes harden.
βWhat?β
Heeseungβs smile falters slightly and he chuckles awkwardly. βI-I thought Baby told youβ¦ Look, itβs what Chaewon said, but Iβm not sure, you never know with girls like that, they could pin it on anyone-β
Your father snatches the envelope back from Heeseungβs hands, glaring at him, and walks back to his seat next to you without a word. Itβs only now that you understand your fatherβs dislike of Sunghoon - he had been certain Sunghoon was the one who had gotten Chaewon into such trouble. How could you have missed that? All this time, you thought it was just because Sunghoon was part of the staff and didnβt come from your world. Regret and frustration bubble up in your stomach. So many misunderstandings couldβve been avoided if only you had known what your father thought.
Itβs only after a few minutes that he breaks the silence. βIβm sorry, Baby.β
You take a deep breath in. βThank you, but Iβm not the one you need to apologize to, Daddy.β
He turns his head to look at you. βYouβre right. Youβre right,β he sighs.
Just then, Jake walks past your table and towards the stage, disappearing behind the curtains on the side. You lift your head, trying to see what heβs up to, but the sound of the doors at the back of the room opening and closing loudly catches your attention. It seems to catch everybodyβs attention - you hear small gasps and small murmurs of a familiar name, and your mind directly lands on the possibility, but you donβt believe it until you see it standing right in front of you, a hand reaching out to you - Sunghoonβs here.
βNobody puts Baby in a corner.β
You take his hand and let him guide you away from the table. Youβre so enchanted by seeing him again that you barely notice your mother having to keep your father from stopping you. Together, you climb up the small set of stairs, walking past the performers and standing in the middle of the stage, the music stopping abruptly. His voice booms throughout the room when he speaks.
βSorry for the disruption folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year, I was told not to. So Iβm gonna do my kind of dancing with a great partner. Not only is she an amazing dancer, but she also taught me that people will stand for other people no matter what it costs them, and about the kind of person I want to be myself. Miss Y/N Y/L/N, everyone.βΒ
Whoops emerge from the back of the room where the staff are standing and you watch as Sunghoon walks to the side of the stage, discarding his leather jacket and exchanging a nod with Jake. The music starts to play - itβs a song youβve heard before, a song you know well because youβve danced to it many times with Sunghoon. Itβs a song you love.Β
He walks towards you, a smirk on his face, eyes heavy with desire. He places his hands on your waist, your own coming up to his forearm, and dips you backwards in a circle, which elicits more cheers from the dancers. He then stands behind you, imitating the starting position of the dance for your performance at the Sheldrake. The music picks up, and after that, itβs like magic. You and Sunghoon know exactly what to do, a mix of the choreography heβd taught you and of other moves you had picked up when you just danced together for fun. All the steps and turns come to you as if you know this dance by heart, and the whole time, youβre looking into each otherβs eyes as they shine with happiness.
Sunghoon makes you spin away from him, and, your arm extended between you two, brings your hand up to his lips and places a delicate kiss to the back of it. Then, he jumps off the stage, prompting gasps and cheers from all around the room, and makes his way while dancing to the back of the room, where the dancers join him. Seconds before the second chorus is about to start, some of them run to you and help you off the stage, and Sunghoon nods at you from the middle of the room. So you run to him, gathering momentum until you reach him and he picks you up, lifting you from the ground up into the air, and you manage to keep your bird-like position for a few seconds. A huge smile breaks on your face as everybody cheers, your mother and sister clapping excitedly and even your father looking at you, astonished, proud.Β
Sunghoon brings you back down slowly, grinning as he gazes at you with only love in his eyes. βI knew you could do it,β he whispers.
The staff starts to invite the guests to dance with them, pushing chairs to the side and getting people to stand up. Jake shows Seeun how to move, reminiscent of the way Sunghoon had done with you, your mother and Jay dance together, and the whole room turns into a dancefloor where couples and small groups can let go and move however they want to.Β
You and Sunghoon head to the exit to find a quieter place, but your father calls out to you before you can slip away. βI found out you werenβt the one to get Chaewon in trouble.β Sunghoon simply nods. βI was wrong. I apologize,β he says solemnly, and the corners of Sunghoonβs lips tug slightly upwards.
βThank you, Doctor Y/L/N.β
Your fatherβs eyes drift to you, and his polite expression turns affectionate. βYou looked great up there, Baby.β You sigh, relief washing over your whole body and alleviating the weight on your heart. You let go of Sunghoonβs hands to wrap your arms around your fatherβs neck, and he takes you in a brief but tight hug.
βIβll let you two go now. I need to find your mother, havenβt danced with her in ages. Thatβs something else I can thank you for,β he says, smiling down at you.
You watch him walk away for a few seconds until Sunghoon takes your hand in his again, and you slip out the doors to the front lawn. Outside, you close your eyes and take a deep breath of fresh air in, laughing for no reason other than simple joy when your eyes meet his.
He leads you to the gazebo and brings his hands to your waist again. The song is nearing its end but you can still hear it drifting through the open doors and windows of the room. You know that even when itβs over, itβll keep playing in your head - and in your heart.
Just like youβll always keep Sunghoon there.
You move slowly to the rhythm of the last chorus, gazing into each otherβs eyes. You want to enjoy this moment for what it is, but the fact that youβre leaving tomorrow wonβt leave your thoughts. This might very well be the last time you and Sunghoon ever dance together, or ever see each other. You can give each other your address and send letters, or exchange home phone numbers and call, but how long will that last? Youβll go to college while he goes home and starts working with his father again, or finds a way to fulfill his dream.
He probably sees the sadness in your eyes and brings you closer to him. He doesnβt say anything, but he doesnβt need to - you know the same thoughts are cramping his mind. Words are unnecessary, and promises are futile, so for now, you forget everything else, and focus on the sway of your bodies and on his hands holding you tight against him.
Resting the side of your head on his shoulder, you look up at the night sky. The stars are shining bright, unbothered by any clouds, and the full moon gazes down at you protectively. Even when youβre apart, you and Sunghoon will still sleep under the same moon every night. You may be just one of the many love stories sheβs witnessed, but you dare to think that yours is a special one, one that canβt be reproduced, one that is uniquely yours.
You continue to dance even when the song is over, letting your bodies bask in the moonlight.
fic taglist: @jaetaimjadore @sleepingsag
permanent taglist: @ozymandia-s @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211
Β© asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not plagiarize, repost or translate my works. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!
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down the hatch
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: college!au | fratboy!au | fluff, established relationship | some suggestive content at the end
word count: 5k
warnings: lots of drinking, profanity, sexual themes, fake frats, more semi-unhumorous banter, sunghoon biceps
ΰΌΰΏΛβ§ synopsis: βa collection of moments with sunghoon, shared over meals, snacks, and drinks. a riff off of timestamps. not in chronological order. a continuation/epilogue of captainβs log.β
tagging: @dearhee @ozymandia-s @judeduartewannabe @pokemonpartyworld @thejjrl @end-hyphen
jungle juice
There wasnβt a lot you could do when it came to football game weekends. You knew the drill. Your roommate Yunjin would be pestering you to βCan you please show at least a little school pride?β as she posed you for pictures, dressed in your universityβs sanctioned colors. Sunghoon would be off doing god knows what to prepare for the HYB tailgate. However, todayβs game was much later in the day, and you were saved from the tragedy of drinking at 8am like last time.
Sunghoon had warned you that heβd be busy that morning, buying groceries for the pre-game, the tailgates, and the afterparty. You decided youβd return to the library, cramming a couple assignments (like usual) before the chaos of the upcoming afternoon.
Not even an hour into your studies, and uncharacteristically, Sunghoon began sending you a string of messages.
sunghoon: is this a good juice brand *photo attached*
you: its orange juice i dont think you can go wrong but yes
sunghoon: is 1kg of strawberries enough
you: why did they let you buy groceries by yourself this time
sunghoon: *photo attached* Iβm with riki
you: β¦
you: remind me to not consume whatever you guys are trying to make
*Sunghoon disliked a message you sent.*
The festivities of the day included a pregame at the HYB house, carpools to the main stadium parking lot for the tailgate, and cheering alongside everyone else at the actual game. Naturally, the night would end at HYB.
You were still shy about letting yourself inside the house, even though you knew they never locked the doors on days like this. Sunghoon once insisted on giving you a key, to make it easier for you when you came over. And though the other guys that lived at the house gave him permission to do so, you - maturely - explained that you had to respect their spaces as a guest. Sunghoon met you with a pout and a reluctant nod of understanding.
Iβm outside, you texted your boyfriend, stepping up the stairs to the front doors. You heard yelling and music, and you were surprised the fun had already begun.
You stepped back as the door swung open, meeting your boyfriendβs sheepish smile and Jayβs bright one. Sunghoon grabbed your hand, brushing a quick kiss on your forehead.
βAlright, Y/N, so we fucked up the jungle juice,β Jay stared at you expectantly, his face fully flushed already.
You made a face, βHow is that possible?β
Sunghoon laughed, βJust wait.β
Next to the two large tubs of their creation, the kitchenβs island was littered with empty juice cartons and several empty liquor bottles.. and many beer bottles?
One of the other HYB brothers followed your gaze, βWe put beer in it to make it bubbly.β
Sunghoon passed you a cup. You stared at the little strawberry floating within an unnervingly bubbling red-orange concoction. Safe to say the beer was not a good choice, the ratio was definitely off - how can something so fruity taste so bitter? βYeah, it does taste like shit.β
βOkay, but who drinks jungle juice for enjoyment?,β Riki suggested, shuffling through the songs playing from his phone to the speakers.
Jay, sarcastic, stated. βJungle juice should be treated as a delicacy.β
Sunghoon, amused, replied, βThen why did you defile it by adding cheap beer?β
βI saw it on TikTok, leave me alone.β
Some other guys arrived later and called for help to set up, so you and Sunghoon were left to figure out what to do with the drinks.
Your guysβ solution was to just add more orange juice, which didnβt exactly mask the beer taste, but it made it more tolerable.
The pregame wasnβt eventful, mostly HYB guys and their significant others taking shots before packing everything (and everyone) into a few cars to take to the university stadium.
The parking lot was crowded, different Greek groups mingling with each other. You and Sunghoon sat in the back bed of a friendβs pickup truck, next to the tubs of jungle juice, watching the chaos unfold.
People were grilling meat, passing lettuce wrapped morsels amongst each other. Everyone was decked out in school colors, some holding signs cursing out the other team.
Sunghoon laid a drunken head on your shoulder, taking a hand into his. You felt him shake with laughter as some of the boys wrestled over a football. Other guys were funneling shots and you thought of your boyfriend, certainly the least chaotic (in terms of drinking) out of all of them.
βHoon, I wish youβd just own up to your true frat potential.β
βThe way you tease my friends for being alcoholic fuckboys really holds me back from that.β
You paused, βYouβre the exception to the rule. Itβs not anyoneβs fault Jay has a new flame each week - heβs just embracing who he is - a HYB brother.β
"I think it's time I hang up the frat paddle and just be a wholesome student."
βDude, you just picked up a Little, what are you talking about?" Riki interjected (the Little in question).
Sunghoon sighed dramatically, βAnd I regret it everyday.β
Your schoolβs team won, and everyone traveled back to celebrate appropriately at the HYB house. The daytime festivities (and drinks) left you tired, and you pulled Sunghoon away from the action to selfishly have him help you to sleep.
It was only 9 pm and you knew there were still drinks to be drunk, but it was getting difficult for you to keep your eyes open.
Sunghoon led you to his bed, climbing in shortly after. You two were silent as he took you into his arms, the warmth of his chest lulling you into darkness.
You woke, the wisps of your hair clinging to your forehead with sweat. You were surprised to find Sunghoonβs limbs still intertwined with yours, considering the bass of the partyβs music downstairs still vibrated his bed frame. He definitely did not mean to fall asleep. You brushed the loose hairs out of your face, staring at your boyfriendβs features in the glow of his LED lights.
Sunghoonβs sleeping face was so peaceful, and you often took pictures to relish at the image if you missed him. You were so content. You burrowed your face back into the heat of his neck, not minding how his proximity literally made you sweat. Just being able to be with himβ¦ you couldnβt care less.
tiramisu
Your third real date - you could not consider invites to his parties actual dates - Sunghoon wanted to take you to his favorite dessert cafe downtown. The last time he took you out, he offered to drive, picking you up right on time, and with a single tulip sitting on the passengerβs seat.
This time, however, he asked if it was okay if you two could just walk and ride the bus together. Sunghoon had his moments of pure charisma, teasing you smoothly, and finding a way to break out a smile from you. There were other times where you were absolutely astonished at his clumsiness. While Sunghoon was in the final stages of crossing over into HYB, some of the things you had to witness him go through⦠thank god he was handsome.
The midday sun was beaming brightly, a gentle wind passing through your thin layers - not offering you much comfort to soothe the beads of sweat on your forehead. Sunghoon was dressed casually, a short sleeved button down - revealing just enough of his toned chest, and some loose trousers.
βYou know, I asked to walk with you today so that I could have more time with you, but Iβm kinda regretting it,β he said pointedly, gesturing at the hot spring rays of the sun.
βWow, are you saying time with me isnβt worth a couple minutes of sweat?β you said, with a blank face.
Sunghoonβs face contorted to one of apology, his lips opening to ramble a sorry, but then stopped and broke into a smile. βYeah, youβre less cute when youβre sweaty.β
You scoffed as you pushed his shoulder, discreetly swiping a hand across your forehead.
The bus was packed, and you two were left with the option of standing body to body with other passengers. Sunghoon grabbed a hanging handrail for support before the bus took off, but the others in your section were occupied. The bus jolted forward and you stumbled into Sunghoonβs torso, his free hand catching your shoulder.
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, and you peeked up to see him bite back a smile. After stabilizing your stance, Sunghoonβs free hand traced down your bare arm. He gently grasped your hand and directed it to his bent arm, offering you his bicep to hold for support.
βYouβre sly, Park Sunghoon,β you whispered. His arm was toned, and it felt firm under your grasp.
βHey, I hit a PR at the gym yesterday, this is a reward for both of us. You should thank me really.β
After making it out of the bus, you didnβt bother to let go of his arm. He coolly slipped his hands in his pockets as he led you to the cafe - you stared at his red ears and knew the impact you had on him.
You picked a table in the back corner, the cafe was decorated brightly and had walls lined with bookshelves. You let Sunghoon order for you. He returned with a bright smile, setting the order pager on the table.
βThis place has the best cakes,β Sunghoon was beaming with excitement. You laughed, his giddy expression was so endearing it was hard not to reciprocate.
Sunghoon stood to pick up the order when it was ready, and passed you your pink smoothie. He set a green tea cake and slice of tiramisu in the middle, taking a sip of his Americano.
βSo they make tiramisu the authentic way.β Sunghoon began to explain how tiramisu is supposed to be made (who knew he was such a fanatic?), and you spared him of the knowledge that you too knew how it was actually made. βThe owner says they get imported coffee beans especially for their espresso, so the flavor is super strong!β He used his spoon to point out the different creamy layers.
The cake did look delicious, but the sight of Sunghoonβs eyes glowing staring at his favorite dessert was more satiating. You sipped your smoothie as he finished his ramble.
Sunghoon slowly carved into the cake with his spoon, and held it out to you.
βAre you really feeding me right now?β
He smiled, βI know you want it.β He was right. You did.
The cake was creamy and soft, just as it looked, but you scowled at the clashing taste.
βI donβt think fruit smoothies with tiramisu is a good pairingβ¦β you smiled sheepishly.
He passed you the cup of his Americano to wash the flavor away before scooping another bite for you. Sunghoon smiled as he noted your expression of approval. The taste of the espresso was bitter, but the cream and cocoa melted to coat your tongue with sweetness.
Sunghoon didnβt mind that he traded his Americano with your smoothie. He didnβt mind that the tartness of the fruit totally ruined his favorite dessert. Your happy expression was enough for him.
somaek
Being in a relationship with someone so popular, and so involved with his social circles, unknowingly pulled you into many social events and gatherings. You were intertwined with his organization, and joining some of their philanthropy events led you to become a desired member in some sororities.
You simply explained you didnβt have the time to commit to anything. You had your own orgs, your own part-time job, and your own studies.
Probably the first problem that you two faced early in your relationship had to do with just that - balancing each of your respective responsibilities. Being in Greek obligated him to attend many events, and him living in a frat house didnβt make things easier when it came to alone time.
You loved his friends, and truly saw some of them as your own now, but spending time with your boyfriend in a room right between Jake and Jay drove you mad sometimes.
There was knocking at Sunghoonβs door. You two were sitting on the floor, your laptop propped up, educating your boyfriend with iconic Vine compilations. βItβs Jake!β
Sunghoon stood to open the door and see what his friend wanted. Naturally, Jake pushed inside disregarding Sunghoon.
βDude, Iβm right here?β
βHey, Y/N, can you explain the post-lab thatβs due tomorrow? The summary part seems so redundantβ¦ I donβt get how itβs different from the analysis.β
You blinked at him, half-eyeing the soju and beer bottles you and Sunghoon were peacefully sharing just a minute before. Sunghoon sighed and you snorted.
βJake, can I please just have a night with my girl? You see her like four days a week in class, and couldβve gotten help then.β
Jake made an O with his lips, realizing his brashness and laughed. βMy bad! And Iβve actually seen her everyday this week because of supplementary labs!β
Sunghoon basically dragged his friend out, locking the door behind him.
βSorry about him.β You shook your head, amused, pretty much accustomed to this behavior already.
You refilled Sunghoonβs beer glass, and poured in a shot of soju right after. βIf it makes you feel any better, that post-lab was actually due today.β
Sunghoon downed the drink in one shot, his cheeks cherried from the alcohol. βThis is why I love you.β
He paused. That was the first time he said I love you to you. You snickered, βThat still counts even if youβre drunk.β
He pouted his lips, then smiled, βHonestly, I consider that a win.β He stuck his tongue out at you. βHa! I said it first.β
suggestive content in the end of this last section - feel free to skip!
peppermint hot cocoa
Sunghoon was always patient with you, pausing to make sure you were enjoying yourself, never hesitating to ask if you were alright. He was gentle and caring, and never rushed.
However, your first time with Sunghoon consisted of a lot of moving parts. Clashing limbs and rushed whispers, you were out of breath before even really starting.
Youβd had your share of one night stands, purely lust filled nights: chaptered with drunken exchanges, entangled bodies, and the dreaded walk of shame the morning after. Only rarely were you lucky enough to have snuck out before the rise of the sun.
Since you two started talking, you had access to HYB and hockey club parties, which were at least every other week. It was still fun to party with your girlfriends, before sneaking away with Sunghoon to play pool or some drinking games.
Each night was riddled with ST and for better or for worse, he never advanced anything further than a couple sessions of making out.
Hell, there was one night where you made out for what felt like two hours straight. One of his hands was finally on the inside of your panties, rubbing you expertly, but as soon as you reached for the front of his jeans, Sunghoon stood up. You two were drunk, but even then you could tell that his βphone call from Heeseung-hyungβ was nothing more than him pulling up the calculator app and putting it to his ear.
βI just donβt know why he doesnβt want to sleep with me?β You brought up to Yunjin the next day. βHe had a girl in his bed and he pretended to call Heeseung.β
Yunjin bit her lip, and looked at you with the most serious expression. βY/N, thatβs so fucking tragic. Me, personally, Iβd stop talking to him.β
βItβs not that I want to just have sex with him!β You whined. βI like him. But you know, we just keep stopping right before.β
She continued, βImagine getting hot and bothered with a girl on top of you and the thing he thinks of to get out of it is Heeseung. Your tongue was down his throat and his best out was Heeseung.β
βOkay, now this just feels like a jab at Heeseung.β
βHe ghosted me, Y/N! I was supposed to do that.β
You rolled your eyes at your best friend. βWhat do I do?β
βYou said the only times youβve gotten close were when you two were drunk right? Maybe he gets whiskey dick.β She grins.
You pause to think about the things youβve felt, the times where youβve run a palm down the front of his pants, just to hear a pretty gasp from him. Or the times where you straddled him, and he grabbed your hips to push you further onto him.
βYeahβ¦ I donβt think so.β
βHonestly, heβs probably just nervous. Anyone can tell just how headass you two are for each other. Or maybe he doesnβt want to do it drunk.β
Yunjin then muttered, βCouldnβt be me. Drunk sex isβ¦β
During a lecture - as you and Jake were hunched over his laptop, going over the practice case scenarios together - you saw a text message pop up on Jakeβs screen.
hoonhoon bro: should i just ask her out again
Jake cleared his throat and slowly turned his screen towards only him, βLemme check something real quick.β
You snickered, βVery subtle, Jake.β
He gave you a look, βI could just lie and say you told me you arenβt into him anymore.β
βYou wouldnβt dare.β
Jake smiled brightly, βYeah youβre right, I like you guys too much.β
You then received a text message.
park sunghoon: Are you busy tonight?
you: yes iβm going on a date
park sunghoon: what
Jake looked up from typing on his laptop. In a hushed whisper, βYouβre seeing other guys!?β
You kept your eyes on your phone and continued.
you: yeah i started talking to him from a hockey club party
Jake poked your arm angrily, and turned his screen to show you the texts between himself and Sunghoon.
hoonhoon bro: SHES SEEING SOMEONE ELSE WHAT THE FUCK
me: WTF DUDE LET ME ASK HER
hoonhoon bro: wait dont
hoonhoon bro: THEY MET AT A HOCKEY CLUB PARTY?? IVE LITERALLY KEPT MY EYES ON HER AT EACH PARTY I never saw her speak to any other new guys
You covered your mouth to silence your laugh. Jake was seething, waiting for your explanation but you still typed on your phone.
you: yeah his name is sunghoon
park sunghoon: ???
park sunghoon: oh
park sunghoon: Weβre going on a date tonight?
you: arenβt we? you asked if i was free lol
park sunghoon: Iβll pick you up at 6
You heard Jake sigh in relief, βI seriously went through all the stages of grief just now.β
When the lecture finished, Jake turned to you one more time. βIf things ever go southβ¦ Just let him down easy? I like you, dude, but I canβt guarantee your safety from Jay if Sunghoon comes home crying one day.β
All you could do was gently smile and nod.
That evening, fresh from the shower and loaded with the jitters of the impending date in about an hour, you received a text.
park sunghoon: Are you craving anything
you: you
park sunghoon: huh
you: can surprise me
You laughed out loud at yourself. You saw your roommate stare from the corner of your eye. βEmbarassing,β she teased.
When Sunghoon notified you of his arrival, you took a deep breath before exiting the dorm building. This was only the second date - sure youβve had many hours of drunkenness with him at parties - but it didnβt settle the nerves of a date any less.
He smiled at you when you opened the passenger door, a single pink tulip waiting for you on your seat.
Sunghoonβs car always smelled deeply of him, so clean and fresh. He smelled of soap, or crisp linen, and sometimes, like today, you noticed hints of coffee.
βSo, I was thinking, does sushi sound good?β
βItβs not really a surprise if you tell me before we go,β you quipped. βBut yes, of course.β
He poked your cheek. Sunghoon shared details about his day, discussing a couple of hours at the rink before class.
He snorted, βItβs always awkward giving lessons to kids who have tiger parents. This little boy today ate shit on the ice practicing his loop and his mom yelled at him from the stands.β
Sunghoon grimaced, βThen she yelled at meβ¦β
Your conversation flowed throughout the drive into downtown. He asked you about your day, and you left out the flurry of texts you read about yourself, courtesy of Jake.
βAnother girl dmβed me asking if I wanted to rush next semester. And then she explained she could guarantee me a bid.β
βThey must be desperate if theyβre asking you.β
βYeah, like I donβt know if Iβd want to ru- wait. What are you trying to say?β You punched his shoulder as he cackled.
βDonβt hit the driver! Very dangerous.β
The restaurant was packed, but since Sunghoon had called ahead of time, you were seated very quickly.
βWhat would you have done if I didnβt agree to sushi?β
βI wouldβve brought you here anyway. Surprise!β
The sashimi was delicious; and you and Sunghoon, shamelessly, audibly groaned at the taste. You two argued over which fish was best, obviously the salmon, and though he disagreed, he happily scarfed down the last piece of salmon when you offered it.
You let Sunghoon guide you through the streets of downtown for a couple blocks, thinking you were just aimlessly walking, before he stopped abruptly.
βYou havenβt been here have you?β
He brought you to the skating rink. Sunghoon followed your hands with his gaze as you gripped the ends of your thin long sleeve.
βDonβt worry, I have a jacket in my work locker!β He took your hand as he led you inside.
His coworkers greeted him brightly, a couple of them squinting at him suggestively when they noticed you were holding hands.
Sunghoon helped you select some skates, before taking your hand again to lead you to the back area to his locker. He grabbed the skates out of your hands to exchange them for his hoodie, grinning as you slipped it over your body.
He balanced the two pairs of skates in one arm, still gripping your hand as he took you to the actual rink.
You sat down at a bench on the outskirts of the stands and stared as Sunghoon squatted down in front of you.
βHere, Iβll help you lace them up,β he said, smiling up at you.
βOk, dad.β
He rolled his eyes, and you blushed as he took one of your feet in his hands to guide it into the skate. He said nothing as he tightened the laces, and tied them expertly with his long fingers.
You gulped. You couldnβt keep your eyes off of his hands as he put on his own skates.
Sunghoon on ice was a different version of him altogether. He took both of your hands into his, gliding backwards. Effortlessly, he kept his eyes on you, while you stared at the ice at his stable feet and your shaky ones.
βLook up at me; it helps with balance,β he said as he tilted your head up with a finger.
In efforts to hide your embarrassment, you responded, βIce skating seems like the perfect way for you to charm women.β
He grinned, βYeah, and judging by the look of youβ¦ Itβs working, isnβt it?β
If you werenβt so uncoordinated on ice, youβd have grabbed his shirt and kissed him right there.
After freshening up in the bathroom, wiping away the sniffles from the cold and fixing up your hair, you found Sunghoon chatting with his coworker at the skate counter.
βYou donβt have anywhere to be early tomorrow do you?β
You thought of the 9 am study session you were invited to go to before class. ββ¦ Nope, Iβm free.β
βThat sounded like a lie, but Iβll take it because I feel selfish today,β Sunghoon joked. You thought of how attentive he was today. He was anything but selfish. βLetβs watch a movie, we didnβt properly use my surround sound last time.β
For once the HYB house was quiet and peaceful. The walls were still lined with funny banners, or old decorations. Each time you were at the house previously, it was at night, the rooms only illuminated by LEDs or strobe lights. This time the front of the house was brightly lit by the chandelier. You noticed the fond remains of a certain poster.
This was the first time being in Sunghoonβs room, without the excuse of tequila or rum or a βloud partyβ ushering you two inside. You could actually make out the couple trophies that were set on a shelf. First Place Park Sunghoon. Another one reading: Runner Up National Champion - Novice.
βDid you ever think of going pro? Making it your full career?β
Sunghoon smiled softly, βEveryday since I started when I was 9, and until I was 17.β
βInjury?β
βMan, weβre getting into the deep stuffβ¦ but no, actually. I think I just started getting tired of skating being the only thing I knew. I had like 3 friends on a good day.β
He sat on his bed, patting the space next to him for you, and continued, βI still skated in comps up until last year before I transferredβ¦ But it hadnβt felt the same since high school.β
You placed your hand on his knee in support, saying nothing to let him continue if he wanted.
βNow, Iβm just trying new things, learning more about whatβs out there. I still skate, obviously, but I think I feel better about just having it a hobby than making it my whole life.β
βYouβve gotta show me your old competition videos.β
Sunghoon frowned, βToo embarrassing.β
βTotally googling you later.β
βIβll show you under one condition,β his hand shifted onto your lap, and leaned towards you. You could almost feel his breathing.
You nodded slowly, βAnd what would that be?β
He leaned back and grinned, βYou share something equally embarassing of course! Your face is so redβ¦ Jeez, what did you have in mind, Y/N?β
You couldnβt take it anymore. The flirting, his suggestive eyes, his teases.
βKiss me,β you stated. βPlease.β
Sunghoon blinked in surprise, his teasing smile fading into one of confidence, of pride.
βWell, only since you said please,β he whispered.
You fluttered your eyes closed and you gripped one of his arms as your lips catch his.
Sunghoon smiled and pulled his lips away for a second, βI canβt believe you ordered mint hot cocoa. I can taste it,β his forehead resting against yours.β
βDonβt like it?β you teased.
He kissed you, before saying, βNormally, never. On you? I guess I can tolerate it.β
You pulled him back in, teeth clashing and eager eager hands reaching for the nape of his neck. One of Sunghoonβs arms snaked around your back, guiding you to lay flat on his bed, his other arm leaning by your head to support his weight above you.
He traced kisses down the side of your jaw and you sighed.
βPlease,β you hushed, tugging on the hem of his shirt. As he pulled his top over his head, your fingers eagerly glided up his toned abdomen, over his chest, before settling on his wide shoulders again. He leaned down to brush trails over your neck with his lips, his tongue slipping out to fully taste you.
βSeeing you in my clothesβ¦β he mumbled against your skin. You were indeed still wearing his hoodie from the rink.
A worried thought crossed your mind, which was jarring since your only other thoughts were how good his lips felt on your skin, and how nice his fingers were as one of them teasingly toyed with the waistband of your pants.
βHoon.β His body stopped moving and he looked up seriously at you with hooded lids.
βWhy havenβt we ever β¦ gone all the way?β
Sunghoon leaned back, and then laid next to you on his side. βI didnβt want the first time we did anything more to be when we were drunk. Iβ¦ wanna really remember it. Iβm sorry for not explaining that each time Iβve stopped usβ¦β
βYeah, not sure Heeseung would appreciate being tangled in a lie.β
βOK. That time, I admit, I donβt even know why I did that. I was so nervous,β he covered his eyes with a hand.
βYouβre more sappy and sentimental than you look,β you traced a finger over his lips and kissed him, his eyes still covered.
βAlright,β he finally looked at you, his eyes dark. βWhat do I look like?β
You smirked, βSomeone who looks good underneath me.β
And it was true. Sunghoon looked real good. And he was well worth the wait.
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