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superman86to99 · 1 year

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Superman: The Man of Steel #33 (May 1994)

An unfortunate series of events has turned Superman so grotesquely swole that he now looks like he’s, well, a character in a ‘90s superhero comic. Last issue, his rapidly growing powers simply made him slightly taller, but by now he's basically a head drowning in a mass of comically large muscles (I’m amazed his costume hasn’t burst yet; props to Ma Kent’s stitching abilities). Another unfortunate side effect of his ordeal is that he’s afraid to even breathe near Lois Lane because he thinks he might kill her.

Superman asks his friends at Project Cadmus to come up with a way to turn him back to normal and they oblige, despite having their hands kinda full with the army of sewer mutants currently trying to invade them (more on that in the plotlines section below). Their idea is to put Superman near the Parasite, the superpower-stealing supervillain, so that he’ll absorb Superman’s excess energy. Wouldn’t that make the Parasite super-strong and stuff? No, you see, because they’ll put him near some “siphoning coils” that will drain the excess energy from him.

Within a few seconds of the experiment starting, the siphoning coils fail to siphon the excess energy (you had one job, siphoning coils) and the Parasite becomes super-strong and stuff. He immediately breaks free and starts killing Cadmus people as Superman tries to stay away from him so he doesn’t become even more powerful. Then Superman realizes “Hey, wait a minute, I’m even more ridiculously overpowered!” and does this:

Superman pushed the Parasite into the ground so fast and with so much strength that the rock melted from the friction and crystalized, trapping him in a “glass prison,” just as Superman planned -- he may look like the Hulk now, but he’s no brute.

Since that plan to cure Superman failed, Cadmus decides to take a page from him and do what he does whenever he has a problem he doesn’t know how to solve: just chuck it into space. As in, they strap Super-Superman to a big-ass rocket and launch it to a space station orbiting the Earth’s dark side so that he won’t be able to absorb any more energy from the sun.

For once, I sympathize with Cadmus’ Director Westfield when he asks if all that expense was really necessary (couldn’t Superman have flown himself there?). Anyway, TO BE CONTINUED!

Plotline-Watch:

As mentioned, the Clone Plague storyline escalates dramatically when the sick and dying Underworlders invade Cadmus en masse and actually manage to break in before they’re shot down by soldiers. We then see the dramatic death of Rambeau, the ram-headed Underworlder we met at the start of the “Doomsday!” storyline, who dies right in front of the (also sick) Newsboy Legion kids after warning them that they’re next. We’ll miss you, Rambeau... or maybe not so much since, according to the “Death of Superman” video game, he’s got like 40 identical cousins.

Last issue, master hacker Lex Luthor Jr. hacked into Lois Lane’s computer to rewrite her exposé on him so that no one would believe her ever again, and now we see what he came up with: a front-page article accusing Luthor of being a “SPACE-ALIEN CLONE” who “WILL SLAY EARTH’S WOMEN.” He also bribed (and later murdered) the Daily Planet’s night editor so he’d let the article through. Everyone from Director Westfield to a random traffic cop makes fun of Lois for her story, but Don Sparrow points out: “In a world where every major American city is guarded by super-powered off-worlders, is Lois Lane’s ‘alien clone’ headline that laughable?” Yeah, perhaps the most incredible part here is that this wouldn’t really be front-page news if true.

Luthor’s revenge on Lois doesn’t end there: throughout the issue we see that he went full Kingpin on her, ruining her credit cards, emptying her bank account, bribing that traffic officer so she’d fail a breathalyzer test, and making it look like she’s having a nervous breakdown. The credit thing is the worst part, because it embarrasses Lois as she’s paying for a meal with Mayor Berkowitz in a fancy restaurant. Don again: “I know that it’s to set up her online financial problems, but was Lois really picking up the cheque while dining with the Mayor? Or were they going Dutch?”

Speaking of Lois, this issue includes another variation of the cute scene where Superman wakes her up by lightly tapping on her window, only this one isn’t so cute because he’s so strong that his “light” taps break the window and Lois cuts her feet.

Superman asks the Cadmus folks to meet him at the tree city of Habitat, which has been in ruins since Doomsday rampaged through it, because at least he can’t do any more damage there. I wonder if they ever explained how it went back to normal in future issues. Did the Hairies rebuild it? Did it just grow back? Zatanna?

The Parasite had been captured in S.T.A.R. Labs since way back in October 1991. In this issue we’re told that Westfield “acquired” him from S.T.A.R., and of course the first thing he does is pump him full of super-energy and let him kill an employee. He almost kills Big Words of the Newsadult Legion, too (it would have been pretty funny if he had and then suddenly started using big words).

One thing that bugs me about this issue is how casually Lois reveals to Superman that, oh yeah, Lex Luthor Jr. is a clone of Lex Luthor Sr., meaning that his greatest enemy isn’t really dead and had been pretending to be a friend for years. That’s a big deal! Superman’s like “sorry, I’m too swole to care about this right now.” I’m also iffy about the part where she says she implicated Luthor in his trainer’s attempted murder; he DID murder her, but then aliens brought her back to life. Is “attempted” the correct legal term in that case?

What I do like is how the creative teams have handled Lex’s slow transition from smooth Australian philanthropist to full-on supervillain as his body and mind deteriorate due to the Clone Plague. The issue ends with a frail Lex (in some sort of medical gown that looks like his Pre-Crisis mad scientist suit) meeting with Clawster of the Underworlders to give him bombs and weapons to use not just in Cadmus, but in all of Metropolis, because if he's dying from the Plague then he wants to take it with him. It’s fitting that just as he’s starting to look like the classic Lex, he suddenly has an excuse to behave like him too.

Patreon-Watch:

This appropriately swole post was made possible (and partly previewed) by Superman ‘86 to ‘99′s Pals, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol. Join them here if you wish: https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99

And now, more from Don after the jump!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We start with the cover, and it’s an interesting one. A common complaint about Jon Bogdanove’s style is that the superheroic bodies have impossibly huge muscles, with tiny little pin heads. So it’s on some level a little “meta” that we see this hulking, veiny version of Superman from this artist with a rep for exaggerated physiques. There was also something about the pose (and slatted office window) that reminded me of Jerry Ordway’s incredible cover to an early Adventures issue, though I think the similarities are unintentional.

Once we get into the issue, we are thrown into a shooting war between Cadmus and its own creations, and no one seems to draw the misbegotten Underworlders with as much panache as Bogdanove. There’s an interesting thatching sort of ink technique we see on Guardian in that first page, which had previously been used only on Steel, to indicate a metallic chrome finish. But clearly, Janke enjoys this inking style, so we see it a little more often now.

Page 2 and 3 we’re treated to a large splash page, featuring our gargantuan Superman outside Lois’ terrace door. Though this particular spread has a lack of comparative context for Superman’s size, apart from his swollen musculature, the pose indicates discomfort and monstrosity. Bogdanove also excels at a very cute Lois in a Margot Tenenbaum-style nightdress. The next few pages, Superman’s bizarre physicality is even more flaring, as his limbs really do appear as though they’re inflated.

As we return to Guardian battling it out with the Underworlders, the “Thing”-like texture of Clawster’s face is well-drawn. Then later, while Superman is himself at Cadmus, he cuts a very Conan-like figure (and in case anyone was wondering, it appears it isn’t just his limbs that have swollen—yipes!). [Max: It’s true, his neck does look pretty swollen too.] A page later, the shine on Parasite’s transparent cage is a nice touch. A little later, as the energy transfer begins, we get some nice Kirby-crackles.

I like Lois’ sophisticated driving look as she’s pulled over for yet more “The Net” style persecution by Luthor. Speaking of, his twisted and sickly pose on the last page is a really good bit of gesture, as he’s looking even rougher than the last time we saw him.

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I must admit, even with how familiar I am with these stories, I find myself straining to remember just why Superman’s power level is surging like this. I remember having a theory as a kid that the black and silver recovery suit from the Return of Superman storyline was to blame. That it was designed to funnel as much solar energy as possible in order to restore its wearer to full strength, and it kept doing so despite Supergirl’s molecular reassembly of the suit? Am I close? Why is this happening? [Max: I kinda like the explanation from last issue blaming that big blast of Eradicator-filtered kryptonite at the end of ‘Reign,’ mainly because it’s such a cool moment and I like that it had consequences.]

Perry White is awfully chill about such an insane headline adorning his beloved newspaper. I might have thought he’d be the one “apoplectic” rather than the publisher. It does feel a little bit unlikely that the paper could get so widely printed and distributed with no one along the line raising an eyebrow at the intentionally goofy headline.

I feel like the state trooper’s assertion that Lois had been “driven to drink by people’s reactions to the article (she) wrote about Mr. Luthor” is a reach. And a mouthful.

It’s helpful that we are reminded that Lois has an inside informant about Luthor, which will come to matter in the issues ahead. [Max: I think this might be the first mention of Lois’ current informant, which makes sense since she knows her previous one got thrown off a bridge by superpowered hitmen, so she has to be careful about this stuff.]

#superman #louise simonson #jon bogdanove #dennis janke #underworlders #project cadmus #guardian #rambeau #clawster #paul westfield #newsboy legion #habitat #frank berkowitz #parasite #acme siphoning coils #women-slaying space-alien clones

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superman86to99 · 2 years

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Superman: The Man of Steel #32 (April 1994)

Bizarro's World, Part 4! In which Bizarro's horniness for Lois Lane proves to be his undoing. Superman is taking Bizarro's inert body back to Metropolis for studying (as seen last issue) when a simple glimpse of Lois makes him spring back into life and rush her for a hug.

After pulling Bizarro away from Lois, Superman loses track of him thanks to his newly "enhanced" powers -- his telescopic vision and super hearing are so powerful that whenever he tries to use them, he just sees everything, everywhere, all at once™. Meanwhile, Bizarro sees a couple reconciling when the guy gives the girl a ring, so he naturally reasons that he can make Lois stop shunning him by giving her the biggest ring he can find. He ends up stealing a giant plastic ring display from a jewelry store and offering it to Lois. She’s flattered by the romantic gesture, but ultimately turns him down.

Bizarro doesn't take Lois' rejection well and ends up fighting Superman again. During the fight, Superman accidentally punches him through a bridge with his super-super-strength, causing a bunch of cars to fall to their doom. Bizarro actually helps Superman save the cars, but he's so clumsy at being a superhero that he almost crushes some of the drivers to death when he “gently” puts them down. Bizarro doesn't appreciate this long-haired ruffian criticizing his rescue efforts (especially since it was his fault the bridge broke) and of course they end up punching each other once more.

Luckily, the nerds at Project Cadmus have figured out they can trap Bizarro if they can simply get him to stand between two giant pillars producing some sort of energy field. Now they just need a way to lure him there, and pretty soon they manage to find the perfect bait: Lois Lane in a tight outfit.

By now, Lois has grown fond of the big doofus and feels bad for using his love for her to trap him -- especially since he appears to be dying, like all the other clones in Metropolis. Before Cadmus can even try to cure him, though, Lex Luthor Jr. shows up with a court document saying Bizarro is LexCorp property and takes him away to continue his experiments (and see if he can use him to cure himself).

TO BE CONCLUDED!

Plotline-Watch:

Been a while since we’ve seen Lex Jr. in his Lex-Men armor (which he debuted in the Supergirl and Team Luthor special). In this case, the armor is a convenient way to hide the fact that not only is Lex bald again due to the Clone Plague, but he even lost his beloved red beard in the few hours or so since we last saw him in Action #697.

Speaking of mysterious facial hair, that's supposed to be Cadmus' Director Westfield being served the document by armored Lex up there, but since when does he have a mustache?! Was that supposed to be a different character but the script changed? Is Westfield going incognito because he knows the Underworlders have a hit on him? Either way, I demand a Baldy Award for pointing this out.

And speaking of the Underworlders, Professor Hamilton is able to determine that the Clone Plague is based on “environmental” factors (probably that big flood from a while back) and not Cadmus-created germ warfare by studying his sewer mutant pals. That's pretty much all the same to them, though, since Westfield was the one who flooded their tunnels and presumably got them sick, so it’s all Cadmus’ fault anyway. Lex, too, now blames Westfield for his disease, so all the pieces are in place for a big war in Metropolis. Should have probably kept your mouth shut, Hambone.

I do like that Hamilton uses his old isolation chamber (from the Bald Jimmy Olsen/Husque storyline) to study the Underworlders.

Another deep cut: this issue features the return of the cabbie with the S-shield logo on his fade cut, first seen in Action $6,50/#650 and then again during “Funeral for a Friend.” The logo is barely visible this time, but it's clearly the same guy... unless that’s just a popular style in Metropolis?

On the other hand, as a continuity nerd it has always bugged me that Lucy Lane shows up multiple times in this issue and not once does she comment on the fact that the monster harassing her sister looks just like the one who sacrificed himself to restore her vision back when she was blind. Then again... she WAS blind, so maybe she simply never found out what the original Bizarro looked like? Maybe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger or something in her mind.

Patreon-Watch:

Half of this post was first seen last week by our patrons Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol at patreon.com/Superman86to99! Shout out to all of them!

And shout out to the great Don Sparrow, who has lots more to say about this issue after the jump...

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We open with the cover, where Jon Bogdanove makes the Bizarro/Frankenstein connection explicit with a very Frankenstein’s Monster-looking Bizarro, complete with lightning. I can’t place the exact pose (maybe the scene where he’s chained up?) but it definitely has a Boris Karloff feel, at any rate.

Inside, we’re in for a sketchier issue than some. As we’ve noted covering these books, Bogdanove can at times be one of the strongest artists on the roster ("Panic in the Sky" and the "Doomsday!" storyline come to mind) but there are times where his looser, cartoony style becomes perhaps excessively broad and fluid. This is one of the latter, where we get very little in terms of backgrounds throughout, and the figure work seems rushed at times. I will say, all through the issue, Bizarro looks appropriately deteriorated and pained, giving him a more tragic feel in this installment than the previous chapters, which mined the comedy a little more deliberately.

Page 5 has a nicely drawn cape, as Superman catches a train car with some effort, it’s a great detail the way the cape twists and folds under his arm.

There’s some quality cartooning on page 14, as the child-like Bizarro adopts the posture of a small child who has messed up, after he dumps a pickup truck on top of a sedan.

Guardian in flight always looks great, and it’s nice to see the jet-wings from the Doomsday fight used again. The monster movie reference seems to switch from Frankenstein to King Kong a little later in the story, as on page 16, Lois adopts a Fay Wray pose in order to lure Bizarro to her. I am unable to resist pointing out how great Lois looks in her insulated suit, so, predictably, I must mention it.

The splash of Bizarro getting jolted by the containment field is frightening, and Bogdanove and Janke do a great job of a familiar pieta pose (which also recalls the way Lois cradled Superman as he was dying in the Doomsday storyline).

Not much for a “B” storyline here, other than the odd cutaway to Lex Jr. and Happersen—the rest of the story is all devoted to the slugfest, and with all the action, felt like a quick read to me. [Max: That’s Dr. Packard, not Dr. Happersen, Don! Unless he got reconstructive surgery after Bizarro fried his face and ended up looking just like Packard?]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I think this is the second time that a “Konica-Minolta” camera has instead been called a “Mignola” in these pages, no doubt after Mike Mignola (who would absolutely kill a Bizarro story, come to think of it). [Max: Yep, there was another shout out during the “Spilled Blood” storyline. Co-sign on Bizarro Mignola. I’m shocked that’s never happened!]

As we noted in previous issues, they play a little loose with Bizarro’s level of intelligence. Despite being only a few days old, he seems to have a comedic understanding of not only spelling, but economics, as he presents a “vizza” (which we later learn is a crumpled license plate) to pay for the novelty decorative ring from the jewelry store.

As always, the Simonson and Bogdanove book seems to have the more ethnically diverse Metropolis, as the S & S Diamond Exchange appears to be run by Orthodox Jews, in a nod, perhaps, to the real-world diamantaires of New York City’s 47th Street.

Professor Hamilton hanging out with the Underworlders further confuses him with Charlie in my mind, at least at first glance—that’s not a great looking coat Ham is sporting.

Whenever I see a taxi with a crumpled front, I can’t help but think of the throwaway gag from the early portion of Superman II, when the cabbie smashes into Clark Kent (more or less directly in front of Lois Lane). I wonder if that’s the reference here?

#superman #louise simonson #jon bogdanove #dennis janke #bizarro #carl packard #lucy lane #underworlders #clawster #rambeau #emil hamilton #paul westfield #clone plague #project cadmus #cabbie with the fade cut #mysterious mustache #Bizarro's World

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