#ramblings of an insane autismer LIVE

[linkedin-offficial]

collars of the colony

members of the colony werent always naked and bare in their prides regard. most of them used to wear reminders of their housekeepers and people, like the common housecat. it was normal to wear these reminders, like a tag, so others knew where you belonged.

not everyone agreed with these reminders, however. cats like jax and zooble felt annoyed by these restraints. jax wore none at all, as even the thought of being confined to such a small place made him seeth with rage. he loved his people, sure, but the idea of a grounding tag like this was too much. zooble on the other hand, tolerated such restraining reminders in the guise of their people, tossing it away when they werent. they knew they were smart. their housekeepers were the type to allow their presence to be outside the boundaries of their home. zooble knew they were lucky for this opportunity, and used it sparingly.

other cats on the other hand held onto their reminders longer than the average cat. cats like kaufmo and queenie felt that without such a reminder, the memory of their people would fade away into nothing. and how could such a cat let this happen? without housekeepers like theirs, theyd truly be nothing but more feed for speeding cars upon the darkpaths. theyd been given food, a home, and love. to throw away such a reminder was like throwing away a piece of themself.

of course, when it due time, queenie was the only one who couldnt seem to bare the burden of finally letting go. kaufmo eventually finally gave in, but he vowed to never let his memories of his people fade away. his vow and queenie's denial however, was not enough to save them from the dangers that demanded change, and dangers that soon lie ahead.

#MAN im having fun #i absolutely love. this au now #again not tagging as warriors bcus it isnt technically warrior cats. #but i will not stop others from doing so i guess! #i was thinking about this all night so have it while im posting about them #ramblings of an insane autismer LIVE #the amazing digital circus #tadc colony of cats au #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc kinger #tadc zooble #tadc gangle #tadc kaufmo #jax and queenie are mentioned but not here bcus jax has no collar (bwomp bwomp) and queenie's is on her ref #and yes ragatha's “collar” is a scarf of some kind #shes a barn cat ;) #gangle has a harness bcus shes like a wet tissue. a very anxious service animal #everyone else has to protect her from everything or else she will crumble like paper #oh yeah annnnddd #link's dialogue #<- putting this here bcus long rambly post #anyway ^_^ have fun with this #i sure did :3

[fanvoidkeith]

i hate not relating to writeblr (writer/author tumblr) because i want to talk about writing stuff but so many writers are like. organized. and they count how many words they write, and they actually regularly write, and. like.

i write in a whirlwind, and i don't track my words, and i barely finish anything, and i'm a mess, and i take a lot of breaks from writing because my brain is a mess, and i just

s t r u g g l e

#void keith talks #i want to talk about my writing feelings SO MUCH but it feels like nobody understands #non-writers look at me like i'm insane #writers look at me like “boy you live like this?” (like that one meme) #there's no winning and it feels like nobody cares #any time i make something about my ocs nobody engages with it #because i'm the Funny Silly Art man-thing. and that's all i am to most people online (outside of tumblr) #it's the autism thing all over again because nobody cares either way when i tell them #like i LIKE being autistic! but most people *don't* treat me like a PERSON when i tell them. or they just don't care and then i feel dumb #only my fellow autistic friends and people online understand and it makes me frustrated that i have to be inside this bubble to be HEARD!!! #rambling in the tags #talking into the void i guess #void keith rambles #i guess this counts as vent post stuff? maybe

[rubysparx]

Honestly I don't think I'm qualified to make this post, I just don't know if I can make coherent enough words man. But the thoughts are in there and I will try to articulate them. This is probably going to be mostly images though. anyway yeah KABRU POST.

A couple nights ago (at approximately 2:30am, lasting a little over half an hour) I had a bit of a moment about Kabru. That, too, was mostly images- most of what you see in this more concise post were presented then as well. I think my main points of the "moment" were about Kabru's trauma + self hatred, his autism and/or general otherness, and also a little labru if you'd like..

I think something easy to start with is I wanna point out Kabru's constant back and forth and conflicting opinions of demihumans and how, I believe, thats a reflection of how he goes back and forth on what he believes his purpose of living is- and the general worth of his own life. I've said it before and i've just kinda shown it in images; Kabru is "i think im a monster and it disgusts me" where Laios is "I know im a human and it disgusts me" (i could go more into the latter on another post)

the above are both from the world bible, with the left being from the section on kobolds and the right being from the section on Kuro specifically. Utaya was very near to the desert where most of the kobold population is, this is likely why Kabru is able to speak Kuro's language- he grew up around demihumans. (chapter 48 cover, kobold chapter in the world bible) I won't try to speak for how his mother or the rest of utaya felt about the kobolds but I can say that Kabru was very much othered as a child, as was his mother, purely for the way her son's (kabru) eyes looked.

I feel like its fair enough to say that both kabru and the kobolds were othered, and possibly for similar reasons (villager's seeing them as nonhuman, as monsters) and the fact that Kabru learned their language probably didn't help his case. I think his perception of kobolds (and all demihumans, subsequently himself, as he probably still views himself as nonhuman or not human enough.. deep down) was damaged by the Utaya incident. at 2:30am when I first started this ramble my main comment was that "had the utaya incident not happened kabru would have little reason to feel ashamed for his connection to monsters. and may have ended up similar to laios in that he couldve had otherkin swag" which is just a sort of silly way of saying Kabru could've learned to love the thought that he is possibly nonhuman or at least not hated himself so much for it.

in the original ramble I said, and quote, "he has been STALKING laios. laios is his hyperfixation to learn how he can ever be loved. he keeps going back and forth so harshly on wether or not he wants to kill Laios and he clearly sees his survival from utaya not as an unfortunate trauma [*] but as a necessary, deserved fate. a punishment for his mother's witchy sins, and for his sin of being non-human. to atone for it all, to apologize for being alive, he tries to better the lives of all humanity. He was set on his way to dethrone the governor of the island . do you understand? im going insane" *i also said somethings about the way he processes other people's traumas and not his own. He's able to understand and even help some people, but he struggles to process his own issues and see himself as worthy of love and life.

^some examples of Kabru being understanding of or helping others who have suffered greatly. I think its also worth mentioning that with Rin (called "Lynn" in that translation) he says "I wish there was a way to get her out of this" though he's insisted and pushed for himself to go into a dungeon;

In chapter 94, Mithrun says "The desire I had left wasn't revenge. All I wanted.. was for it to finish devouring me." and I don't feel like it's a stretch to say Kabru was in a similar situation. Mithrun sought out the demon with no plan on how to kill something like that because deep down he wanted it to end his (Mithrun's) own life, to finish the trauma it caused and kill him. I think Kabru went into the dungeon in part with the hopes that it'd kill him. That the same thing that destroyed Utaya and caused him so much trauma would just.. finish him.

I just think Kabru is a beautifully complex character, I have a lotta thoughts on him and I don't see nearly as many analysis posts for him than I do Laios (despite labru being such a popular ship)

there is no tldr for this post idk how to summarize it. do what you will with this collection of images. have fun. go crazy

fun fact the woman in the bottom left corner is his mother, she is labeled here as "witch"

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi #kabru #kabru dungeon meshi #kabios #labru #yeah its a long post i dont care. read it #also i only mentioned it briefly but i do think kabru is autistic . #yk that post thats like 'no im not autistic i know all the social cues etc etc etc. hey wait a minute' yeah. that #ok whatever. starts making another laios post

[narwhalandchill]

okay so. skirk thoughts

first of all: as much as her design is still just kind of an ehhh compared to what couldve been, i do think it looks so much better in the actual game. the sfx in her arms and legs in particular helps a Lot imo. still not a massive fan but given i already loved the hair+eyes as well as the general color scheme, im warming up to it. still unfortunate we didnt get something more ambitious but i can live with this lmao

personality wise i actually really love how they went about her? its a little unexpected but skirk really has that abyss autism rizz to her JSJSIDISGFK love it. like this really isnt someone used to any manner of regular human interactions and it shows. i really like how blunt and utterly unfazed she is even when dropping some insane lore bombs bc theyre just peanuts to her. shes just completely unlike any character from any faction weve encountered before and i rly love the energy they gave her

i also found her little ramble about the value of life and death pretty interesting. it almost makes it sound like she considers herself dead in some way? with how she talks about there being no point in holding onto the bonds and remains of dead things and how this personal philosophy of hers is why she never comes to the surface anymore. like huh. whats up with that.

it also really reminds me of how an underappreciated aspect of childes characterization imo is how like. Incredibly insistent he is on staying alive being the most valuable thing? like this comes up Repeatedly in his voicelines. and now we have skirk literally talking about how to live is in itself a blessing. like i am Not buying this being coincidental at all. so unless they physically disprove me in this somehow down the line im taking this as 100% proof that childes high regard for life is Directly imparted to him through skirks teachings. and thats really interesting to think about.

and like. overall im quite happy with this glimpse of her character we have? i have bigger issues with the overall handling of the childe+narwhal+skirk segment of the AQ but those are narrative problems. skirk really stands out as a character and shes just. really fascinating AND funny as fuck in her nonchalance like. what an icon.

the only real unfortunate thing w her appearence specifically i think just has to do with the way her manner of speech and position as a narrator of dubious reliability to an extent is already leading to some. Quite unfortunate misreadings and/or taking the implications of her statements too far at face value. and i just know fandom will latch onto those forever 😭

(& jic i dont mean dubious reliability in the traditional unreliable narrator or like. lying or sth sense. just that her worldview is so alien and foreign to us that it should be taken into careful account before just blindly running off with any particular thing she claims)

like. firstly. the narwhal. ppl really dont seem to be catching onto how skirks perception of it as just a scuffed pet thats a hassle to manage isnt like. actually reflective of what a massive deal of an entity it is (read the boss fight quest item drop lore i am begging. or just wait for me to start narwhalposting JAJSKDK its coming 100%) 💀💀 what it DOES reflect more than anything is what an absolute maniac surtalogi (+ skirk by extension) has to be in order to claim a creature of this magnitude as a PET of all things. its also good to note that skirk herself readily admits both her highly unconventional view on most things AND that her master wont necessarily share any and all information with her - more so what he thinks is pertinent for her to know. her assessment of the narwhal as a nuisance of a task for a disciple isnt really reflective of the ultimate big picture HSJDKDKSK though it is very funny i have to admit.

im just preemptively annoyed and frustrated by it already bc its highkey giving azhdaha all over again where 99% of fandom just dismissed his deeper lore bc they took the storytellers claims of zhongli creating him at complete face value. like to the point hoyo had to literally add a whole segment at the end of the chasm interlude where zhongli more or less directly wink wink nod nods that a career entertainer isnt giving you the most accurate lore on this stuff 😭😭 like please. ive had the tears from among the stars lore fucking HAUNTING me ever since i first read it. its not just a silly pet whale im hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and secondly. people really jumping the gun on "haha skirk thinks childe weak" when she was... quite literally speaking in past tense JSJSKDKSISKDK thats ajax 14 not the current state of things. while i do agree skirks power level is still way above his to the point i absolutely do think she considers him weak from her standpoint & ways off from his true potential, id also just.... like to point out that she pretty much confirms that her view of his competence has very much changed too? like please yall

skirk, who in all the years post ajax' 3 day abyss trip made NO effort to contact or keep up with him whatsoever and stated that her disciple wasnt worth even speaking to in the past has now LITERALLY voiced the intent to assign him the task of being a messenger between herself (possibly even surtalogi) and neuvillette. and she has made it VERY clear that she views the communication between herself and neuvillette (and traveler too) as one between equals?

this isnt her assigning childe some irrelevant side quest to keep him busy but actually utilizing him for a task she takes at least relatively seriously. like wdym she still considers him the exact same as before 😭😭😭😭 like obviously childes far off from being regarded as anywhere near an equal by skirk bc SHES just that insanely powerful but seriously. to me this is as clear an acknowledgement of his growth on her part as we will get JSJSKDKFKSKDKJ

but alas. everyone loves a "ha ha childe so weak XDDDD" like they just never wanna let that one go. Man

anyway still rly like skirk!!! all im Really hoping for in the future Especially w how i feel the 4.2 narrative while overall brilliant really sidelined and mishandled the potential and gravity of the narwhal side of things is that like. PLEASE let the interlude be the continuation to this 3rd descender n skirk n childe abyss situation i am so fucking tired of khaenri'ah and the abyss order im sorry lmao

also itll be like 4 years before we ever see her in Real action as a combatant but i am already So hype to see that. especially since her powers are so abyssal and alien in nature like thats going to be So gourmet i just know it.

#whew. that eas a bit. #but like im sooooo happy i ended up liking her as much as i did . i really worried i would end up let down somehow bc #skirk has been such a mysterious lore figure in the bg all this time and that by itself builds hype that can end up just falling flat #but im really glad im just even more invested in her situation now that shes finally made an appearancr #just hope we can get at least some interactions between her n ajax sooner than later. #ALSO. YEA THAT WAS A LETDOWN. disciple suits ok its fine but man i wish shed call him ajax 😭😭 hopium she still does when its at his face #rambles #genshin #genshin spoilers #4.2 spoilers #long post

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

#ok to reblog #ask #objectum #os/or #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH #i didnt proof read this either so plz ignore any mistakes ToT #just know everyones experience is different #also sorry if u have like. no background on this stuff i kinda just presumed u knew the basic idea </3 #also also i did not know what u meant by roleplay sorry!!!

[tg-pilled]

My review of the Tokyo Ghoul live action movie!

First off, I won't be reviewing based off the CGI, props, etc. I don't know enough about practical effects or that area to make any proper judgement regarding it.

Secondly, this is my opinion. In no way am I trying to make fun of the actors, CGI, storymakers, etc. I just have autism and will be commenting about what I did and did not like about the live action.

Here is what I LOVED:

The casting was perfect in my opinion. I was pretty much like "yeah wow that's the character if they were real" for every single character

The acting was pretty good! I wasn't expecting it to be as satisfying as it ended up being.

THE FIGHT BETWEEN AMON AND KANEKI AT THE END WAS SO GOOD 🙏 THEY ATE, DEVOURED, AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

Touka and Mado's fight was so well done! It was the perfect balance of emotion and action! I love that they didn't back down from Mado being batshit crazy and that they didn't make him hesitant to kill anyone! It felt like they stayed really true to the characters in that aspect!

THE RELIGIOUS IMAGERY??? OMFG I LOVED IT SOSO MUCH!! When Kaneki pierces Amon and leaves him looking like he's been crucified??? Wow. Amazing, stunning, never been done before. Mado calling Touka a sinner??? Amazing, stunning, never been done before.

Renji, Touka, Kaneki, and Hinami walking through the creek made me tear up omfg they are FAMILY.

What I Liked/Appreciated for What It Was:

The storyline was decent. I know they have to set it up and stuff but I REALLY wish we could have seen the final arcs, Jason, Shuu, etc. I am also biased because those are my favourites to analyze BUT I also understand that it's a movie that is trying to fit a large amount of content into a small amount of time.

I felt like Kaneki's character growth/development was rushed BUT towards the end where he's laughing over Amon's body and then sees himself in the puddle, WOW what a scene. Even still Kaneki's development was rushed but it felt like they were wanting a second movie.

The ending was. Okay enough. I wish Hide and Kaneki had seen each other again but like. I'm insane about their relationship anyways. AND THE WAY KANEKI LOOKS AT THE CHAIR. It was very good I appreciated the throwback and it came full circle.

What I Did Not Like At All:

Okay this isn't even the movie's fault but it being rated NC-17 makes no sense to me. I felt like it barely showed anything and it should've just been rated R. It is definitely an atypical horror movie but it is still horror.

Nishiki felt extremely cast aside. If they hadn't included that scene at all, nothing would have changed. They didn't make him as compelling as he was in the manga (again, it's a live action so I can't expect much) but he was very much a forgettable aspect of the movie despite him looking so babygirl.

I miss the talk that Hinami and her mom had before she died. It felt so short and wasn't well done in my opinion.

It felt bound to the anime (which we all know is better if you have read the manga and can actually understand wtf is going on) which is not an inherently bad thing but there should definitely have been more explanation for the character motives.

Anyways thank you for reading if you made it this far into my ramble and autistic rant. Thank you to my wonderful moot for getting me the link to the movie 🙏

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul kaneki #tokyo ghoul touka #tg kaneki #tgre #tokyo ghoul live action #movie review #tokyo ghoul review

[cgtg]

another doseone-led band i found in the last couple weeks. anticon moment

god this guy is prolific. sry 4 the ramble incoming

reason i havent been rly doing music recs lately is bc ive jusd been fucking hardcore delving into doseone's music repertoire again r0fl. stumbled onto this album "for hero: for fool" & its a huge fav atm. ive been trying 2 find info about the instrumentation on these but all ive found for sure ( so far ) is that they used a roland TR-808 and jel's got his AKAI MPC 2000XL. both visible in live performances

the way jel plays in this, its so fuckin active & immersed & percussive i cant stop watching. the first song (middleclass stomp) is all on beat machine, then the second song (middleclass kill) also uses a drum set (thats jordan dalrymple behind the kit there, switches from guitar to drum on the second song.)

jel on the drum machine, he is insane, cannot rec him enough. he wos a producer on "center city", which is one of my fave sole songs & is in my junior spitfire playlist

the beat on "middleclass stomp" is amazing 2 me but this live version doesnt emphasize the *guitar* nearly as well tbh, which is maybe the most delicious part of the song, the way this song moves... peep it

they were rlly dead set on not being defined as hip-hop but its got all the trappings of hip-hop, or kinda is definitively a descendant of it. its a fucking amazing album dude. dose's ability 2 do such evocative & abstracted lyrics that are hard to follow but fucking. mesmerizing to dig into & tell such vivid stories. its unparalleled 2 me.

another fav from the album

rlly rlly nefarious sound i fucking ugh. evry time i listen to this song i start just bouncing like this guy does. esp when that "DROP THE GUTS" part hits

"he was spitting so casual"... teez mcgee points out how effortlessly he seems 2 just pump out bars & its so true . live on stage or in studio he is completely effortless, shockingly casual, all that in one take... & i cant even follow along w/o fumbling most words on my tongue, even when i know the lyrics well

this has been a rando certified autism moment if u read all of it... thanx u

#i want ... to do that. iwant to punch a sampler like that it looks so fuckignfdjklghnlkjfhb345n453432 #song recz #my own rec. hehe. #Youtube

[hollowknightinsanity]

Do you ever think about. the fact that Radiance, the Light, the goddess of light herself, was upstaged by the Pale King. because his light was so much greater. and everyone flocked to him instead, and she was left behind and abandoned.

do you think about what she might've felt. the abandonment and betrayal she suffered, the revenge that she went lengths to achieve. would a higher being's grief be more powerful than mortal bugs, or do they grieve the same?

Well now I am

Time to ramble *cracks mental autism knuckles*

So!! I’ve always thought Radi to be more a goddess of dreams rather than light, and since I’ve already made goddesses for All Of It with my Kirby insanity (staring intently at the entire ykkan religion), she’d be more of a. Demigoddess rather than a full-on goddess. But she’s still wildly powerful.

I imagine that, with the context of my own story’s lore, Radi would be the daughter of one of the four Godsisters, specifically the Ykka of Dreams — like, in the Dream’s attempt to keep at least a part of herself alive, she threw out another being made of Dream matter to be her successor in her downfall.

Because she’s made of Dream matter, a type of matter associated with memories and emotions, her rage and grief would be felt by anyone physically close to her. Before she was contained in Holly, her own emotions would’ve been felt by all bugs throughout the entirety of Hallownest, and that’s what probably started the infection in this (VERY UNFINISHED) au. After her sealing though, it would mostly just be felt by Holly, since that’s where she is, but the already infected bugs would still be carrying that wrath.

And allll of that emotional-rage-grief stuff is exactly what killed Radi’s mother.

‘Tis a vicious cycle, the cycle of Godhood.

I also think PK would be the Soul’s attempt at salvation. As such, PK’s power would be equal to Radi’s if not even stronger considering the rarity of Soul Magic. And beings like the Soul are literally built to create new life, hence why all those types of beings are called Creator Entities, which means any creature birthed by the Soul would be of very high magical capabilities.

In Soul Journey, Soul Magic is incredibly powerful and incredibly rare — like, rare to the point that people thought it didn’t even exist anymore — so beings made with the sheer power of Soul Magic are bound to be almost on the same level as the Ykka of Soul. Not on exactly the same level, but almost. That amount of power is more than enough for someone to be worshipped.

Sure, Dream Magic is powerful — the ability to have complete control over one’s mind, to achieve mental Godhood, is unlike any other. But to naturally wield Soul Magic is to have complete control over the very thing that keeps living beings alive. To have control over how someone feels and acts, when they die, when they’re born, what they truly are to begin with. That type of power is absolutely insane, and is to be both feared and worshipped.

That is why PK stole Radi’s spotlight. Being birthed by the Soul means unbelievable power.

And that’s why Radi was so destroyed. She was worshipped, she was loved, she was treated like what she was — a Goddess. But then, some random creature part of a near completely extinct species appeared out of seemingly nowhere and dragged her worshippers way from her, all because he was made by something more powerful than she could ever be.

She was jealous. She was grieving. She was enraged. She was destroyed. Her mental state was in pieces, as was her following.

All that glory, completely stripped from her, leaving her forgotten and alone like she was nothing.

It broke her.

And she lost her mind.

She lost her will.

She lost herself.

She lost everything, and with it, her life.

And suddenly I feel really bad for calling her a bitch.

*ahem*

Yeah, PK was definitely deserving of the worship he received. But Radi in no way, shape, or form deserved to be left in the way she was.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I do think I’ll go cry now

#hk #hollow knight #hk spoilers #hollow knight spoilers #hk pale king #hk pk #hk radiance #hollow knight pale king #hollow knight pk #pale king #hollow knight radiance #the radiance #hk au #hollow knight au #au #my au #*normal sounds* #normal asks with normal answers #hk normalcy #RADI IM SORRY. YOU DIDNT DESERVE THAT #I AM STILL MAD AT YOU THOUGH YOU DID NOT HAVE TO ALMOST KILL HOLLY

[magiclabscookierunlabau]

Pinned Post

Hello! Welcome to Magic Labs, where we don't actually have magic, cuz magic is all in science! We are a privately-owned research lab, dedicated to the research of creating artificial life. We have created this blog to answer any questions anyone has about us, so let's get started!

Hello! My name is Kate! I'm a scientist who has been asked to help run this blog! I have been called bubbly, energetic, and creative by my peers! Hope we get along!

My name is Connor, and I have worked in Magic Labs for years. I have never felt like the lab is not one giant family, even if people come and go as they please. Unfortunately, there seems to be a 'dullness' coming from the lab as of late, and I hope this can fill a spot that was somehow taken away.

Hello, I am the creator of the AU, @somewandomnoob . Just a few things to get across, I am a minor, please don't be weird around me. Please use she/he pronouns for me. Also...

PEDOPHILES, PROSHIPPERS, COMSHIPPERS, ZIONISTS, RADQUEERS, AND HARRASSERS GET THE HELL OUTTA MY BLOG(S)!!!

Also, I think I should tell you that this isn't your ordinary lab au. I don't wanna spoil things yet, but I basically already have, so the cookies aren't exactly experimented on... More like... Created.

Here's the fic for the au. The fic gives more detail on the cookies who live in the lab, and this blog is basically the scientists with actual empathy. The current 2 cookies confirmed for the au are Almond Cookie and Walnut Cookie... But there will be more... :3

Also, if you are asking me OOC, please add somewhere in your post "OOC", or else my autism with act up.

Anyways, uh... Start asking!

TAGS:

Kate Up All Night - Kate text post

Connor With His Coffee - Connor text post

Rambles with Scientists - Kate & Connor text post

Questions Answered! - Any questions received answered!

OOC Chatings - Me when I either answer ooc asks or just going insane rambling... And fic!

#pinned post #cookie run au #lab au

[orbleglorb]

alright let's do meganparker for some of the fun ones: 3, 12, 13, 21, 27, 45, 49

oh joyous day i get to be insane about them for a bit

adding a readmore b/c it's a bit lengthy

3. What was their first impression of each other?

parker was initially sort of... nervous? they were rivals. he didn't know this until he saw a tabloid about it. so he's like "oh no :( she hates me :(" but also sometimes leaned into the bit for fun. because it was ridiculously easy to make her frustrated by just playing blaseball. and then she starts like, talking to him, and he's initially suspicious. he was like, "nobody would come up and talk to me and try to get to know me if they were not pranking me." so he was a little cold initially. megan, who has just broken up with clare for the 10th time since high school (and keeps promising everyone it's final), is... okay wait i have images (IDs in alt, lmk if they don't work).

so like. yeah she's normal

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

parker has a difficult time away from megan. megan doesn't have a difficult time away from parker, except for occasionally worrying that he's "found someone better." megan is kind of parker's shield and safety net in a lot of social situations. megan is also a little overcontrolling and she worries what will happen if she's not there to "save" him.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

phone! they're both moving around a lot, so letters aren't practical. sometimes they'll leave notes for each other in luggage or lockers before they go to wherever it is they need to go. megan jokingly faxed a message for him to his mom's office once and the coin nearly killed her over it, so that's the last time that happened.

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

alright. so this one is complicated.

for the most part, parker enjoys domestic life. parker would make such a good house husband. he really just wants to do mundane tasks all day and then just chill with someone in the evenings. like one of the images above says, he just wants to sit on the couch with someone while they watch TV and let out sad little sighs for no reason. he craves normalcy and routine (The Autism), and just wishes that his biggest problem was like, how to file his taxes, and not that he kills anyone he gets close to.

megan is more of a "live fast die young" kind of person. she doesn't want to grow old and wants to keep adventuring and going out late/coming home early. she's spontaneous and stubborn, and once she's decided she wants to do something, she'll do it. and she'll drag whoever she wants along with her. she doesn't take no for an answer really well (and parker doesn't GIVE no for an answer very well). she can't stand being in one spot for too long and just wants to travel and see the world and party until she dies. parker would rather die than go to a frat party

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

parker: going to crowded places/parties with her, doing chores for her, baking for her, bumping his head against her shoulder (he's shorter than her).

megan: listening to him ramble about spiders, watching documentaries/doing other "boring" things, remembering his favorite foods and periodically ordering them for him, kissing his forehead or hand.

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

um. teehee. they have a codependent relationship. parker left his mom's house and really had no idea what to do with having his own agency for the first time in his life, and just like, got in a relationship with someone who was also possessive and overbearing and demanding (although megan's nowhere near as bad as the coin). parker relies on her for security; he has learned his entire life that everything he does is wrong, that he can't trust himself or his emotions, he's "insane" and "makes stuff up," and he could never be independent. megan relies on him for assurance and consistency; she needs someone who won't leave, no matter how bad things get for both of them. eventually, it gets bad enough, and he DOES leave. and it fucks her up.

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

absolutely. megan hooked back up with clare at some point while she and parker were on a break. she also will never admit that she is scared of his mom, or that she's scared in general. she will never admit that parker's scary when he's mad and she wishes she could override the instinct to escalate situations because holy fuck he's scary when pissed.

parker will never tell her that she does things that remind him of his mom (at least, he doesn't until they get into that final big argument). he won't tell her that she makes him uncomfortable sometimes and he wished he was listened to more, even though it's "not really a big deal." he's never told her who his father is (Namerifeht) and lies whenever she asks. he will never, under any circumstances, admit that he's fallen out of love with her and in love with someone else to her face, because he can't help but think that she would trap him or hurt him (she wouldn't, but the fear is persistent). he doesn't even say it when they break up.

#blaseball (organizational) #parker macmillan #megan ito #sorry to the ppl who follow these tags #asks 4 sasha #megparker

[lif3isstrange]

Ask gameeeeeee 🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖 (for research purposes this emoji needed to be used 🧐)

1. 14 and it sucked because of all the stigma around autism. People make it seem like this awful thing and that you’re just a fancy word for dumb, then I moved on but got upset because I felt like I was being a burden on everyone with my picky eating and sensory meltdowns but my psychiatrist said ‘don’t be angry at yourself for the way you are, be angry with the world, it’s the worlds fault for not fitting with you, not the other way around’. I was like damn she’s worth the money 🥳

2. I am in the people I live with so they all just think I bring up autism as an excuse and I’m really just a ‘spoiled brat’ 😍 my mum refuses to learn anything about autism at all and my sister said stimming was disgusting and sounded ‘sexual’ ?! My dads quite sus tho with the autism symptoms but doesn’t know how to deal with it🤨

3. I have adhd aswell so they both love to conflict 🥰, my autism thrives in routine but my adhd loves chaos, my autism wants to be quiet and focused and my adhd wants to look at how the tree kinda looks like that one from two years ago and loudly blab about something uninteresting to others 😟 it’s a lot to handle but I wouldn’t be as cool without em both so 😎

4. Yes but extremely confused and can’t be bothered to figure it out 🤩

5. That it isn’t our fault and we don’t do destructive things on purpose, we do it to try and display our feelings because we can’t really be verbal and calmly talk about them when we’re focused on how bright the lights are and how horrible and itchy our clothes start to feel. We need more time to adjust with change and so people need patience etc. many people even parents fail to understand what asd is like 🫡

6. Yes but only with another autistic so they got the sensory meltdowns but they were a bad person and liked their computer a lot more than me 💀 I love relationships as I am a very loving person and feel the need to share it but relationships are hard and extremely emotionally challenging plus I don’t trust men much anymore 😵‍💫

7. The adhd tends to come in clutch so I think it’s more my town lacks personality than me. I have a very analytical way where I will find something we are both passionate about and then ramble on about it with them then keep trying to find other things in common and go on etc. I basically treat befriending like a fun cia operation 🥸

8. My special interests aren’t as strong as other peoples but I love the game outlast 2 and the lore of it. There was so much work put into the game and theories how the speakers throughout the game were put a certain hz to brainwash the citizens into the religious insanity and the story behind the entire thing is just chefs kiss 🤌

9. Idk if this counts but probably Jacqueline Wilson books 😭 I bought and read every single book she wrote (my favourite was rose rivers) some of those books were so insane to read but I was such a bookworm. I bought every magazine she put out aswell and collected all the free gifts in them 🤭

10. Kill ur father and don’t listen to anyone bc they’re all evil 😭 I let everyone treat me like garbage and was such a sensitive little baby 😖 if I could go back I’d tell her to set everyone straight and not let anyone mess with me plus to stop being a weirdo 🤓

YAYY I DID IT AND ITS NOW 2AM

IK MY ANSWERS ARENT THAT INTERESTING BUT ENJOY!!! :)

#autism #actually autistic #ask game #neurodivergencies #actually adhd #asd #blog #special interest

[startlitmirrorshards]

How I accepted being a system + advice at the end! A bit of a ramble xD

Personally, something that I don't struggle so much with is system denial. Like, don't get me wrong, I DEFINITELY have had my moments, but over time, it has been easy. Even though I wasn't the host who learned we were a system, that alter fused into me, so I have those memories :>

What helped us accept being a system is the game Persona, specifically Persona 5. I won't go into too much info, so no worries if you haven't played it or know of it! In the game, Personas are the you that you deny, the you that you suppress. By accepting this side of you, you and your persona can work together. Very much conscious mind vs shadow/subconscious self. However, the protagonist is different. Unlike everyone else, he can use multiple personas for these are multiple versions of himself. These different parts can be sexual, violent, proud, pathetic, etc. They all have different looks, different goals, and different personalities. All of these personas are different "masks" that he has, but he has to find them. There is even the concept of fusing these persona into a stronger one (although it's a bit brutal in concept to system fusing-). Seeing a video game concept about what I was experiencing helped me accept the system, although I called them Personas at the time haha.

It just... it made sense, and I had no reason to really fight it. I had these different "masks", I acted differently at times, and certain "masks" helped me be a "stronger" me to handle different scenarios. So instead of denying them, I accepted them with the aid of this media. Maybe it is the undiagnosed autism in me that helped, but really finding a source that helped explain my life experiences helped me be more accepting.

Honestly... after typing all this, I think it boils down to accepting that I was different and not trying to be "normal". I've always known I wasn't normal, having many mental illnesses and many hospital trips. I embraced being different, being unique, just being me. When people have denials, I notice it is tied to not wanting to be portrayed as a monster or thinking that they are insane because of no longer being "normal". We live in a society that stresses on being "normal", being "perfect". This with added on possible trauma from family and friends that makes it even harder to accept yourself. The first step to accepting you're a system is accepting that you aren't "normal" and that is okay. You are uniquely you, all of you, and that's okay. ♡

One last note, being a system is meant to be covert disorder no matter which type of dissociative system you are. You, as the host, were not meant to know about it. So as you first start working and acknowledging it, the brain will fight back and try to hide it more and more. Hell, for me, the brain literally locked me outside of the system, and I was floating in empty nothingness with just basic knowledge around me to survive undetected. And then I had MONTHS of trying to convince and force the brain to let me in and to accept me. I don't know the exact moment it happened, but it only happened because I kept consciously acknowledging that I was a system. In therapy, a method they teach to undo negative thinking is my consciously making the effort to rewrite your thinking. This is done by daily telling yourself something, having sticky notes to keep seeing it, or even listening to music that makes you feel like a bad bitch (for example xD). You can use this method for the moments you feel like you are in denial about being a system. Remind yourself of everything you have experienced, the research you have done, and the moments of interactions with other alters that you are aware of. As you keep working doing this, it could make it easier and easier for you :>

Thank you for reading this, and please, if there is anything you'd like to add or ask, go ahead! This is mainly from my experience and second-hand experience with helping other systems :>

#i hope this makes sense #stello 🌌 #sms★ #did #osdd #osddid #endos dni #actually dissociative #actually mentally ill #actual did #advice #actually plural #plural system #plurality #traumagenic system #denial #sorry for errors i didnt fully proof read #open to corrections as well! :>

[astronomical-bagel]

what are your favourite things to see in dragon designs, or in worlds that feature drsgons? im curious :}

!! Well my friend gave me the new wof ‘guid to the dragon world’ book for Christmas so I am PREPARED for this question!!

one of my favorite things ever is just to see how a dragon is suited to its environment— not just wof, but all brands!! Drakes that have no wings but are expert runners, tundra dragons with different ways of dealing with the cold— with either fur or other methods which are barely (if at all) scientifically plausible. I just like the different types and learning them all!! As of right now I’m really biased towards tundra dragons bc i really like ice wings lmao, but I also love the variety possible with dragons living in the ocean— I mean, there are so many different kinds of fish to base them on!!

Mainly in dragon designs I like to see a mishmash of different animals combined with maybe a little bit of camouflage to their environment— for instance, if I were to make my own design for ice wings I might their talons a bit more like polar bear paws, while other ice wings might have tails like seals for markings like orcas. I like variety within a species of dragon, if you couldn’t tell.

and in worlds that feature dragons, I really like it when they go over their relationship to other animals or humans!! Are other animals of the same mental caliber to dragons? Can they have conversations with with a snake or perhaps a crocodile? Do the dragons discover any methods of communicating with humans? Do they become friends? I would love it if they became friends 🥺

(in fifth grade I obsessively read the equivalent of horse girl books but for dragons. Yk, girl meets wild creature, they understand each other, girls family says NO WAY but in the end the girl and the dragon’s bond is tested in some way and the family is like NVM it can stay) (I just realized I could have shorted this my like 100 words if I just said “you know, like how to train your dragon” but WHATEBER)

And of course, I love dragon culture. How do dragons dance? What do their instruments look like? I saw someone create a design for dragon puppets that I ADORED (can’t remember the name but if you loo through my ‘bagel loves dragons’ tag you should find it somewhere bc I went on a ramble in the tags LMAO). And what sorts of religions do they have as well, and how is it affected by their environment? In Wof, the Pantalans worshipped Clearsight bc of her prophecies, but in other worlds like totk (or going to a real religion like the Buddhist pantheon) the dragons are servants to a higher power! and oh I just like dragons so much. Sometimes it gets dicey bc there aren’t too many limits on what a dragon is (me and a friend of mine once got in an argument over whether something could have a dragon or dinosaur (not smth real, just art) because we have differing autisms and we both had to just sit down away from each other bc we were so unnerved by what the other thought), but anyways I just love anything dragons and it’s so hard to define what my favorite things on dragons are because I like them ALL!! It’s more easy to say what I don’t like (overly cartoony, implausible proportions, ugly colors. Also lots of cartoonists give dragons an insane underbite for some reason?? That one isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker but it confuses me)

also a little bit ago someone asked my about my hc wof au AND I PROMISE I DIDNT FORGET I just got nervous ❤️❤️ I will talk about it more later and hopefully I’ll have art but I want to practice other dragons first bc it’s been a hot minute

thank you so much for the ask, taco, I had so much fun thinking about dragons and I need everyone to know that I love them sososo much and they are always on my mind for ever and ever

#Even if I don’t talk about it for a long time they’re still in my brain. #honestly has anyone ever gotten dragon dysphoria? #Sometimes I’m confused by how my muscles work #bc I’m so much more accustomed to how dragons move and where they’re muscles are placed and whatnot #Its just me? Alright #astronomical asks #bagel loves dragons

[soursherbat]

for the ask game: 4, 10, 14, 23, for springtrap, hawk and/or monty (:

frothing at the mouth at this one i think i'll just do all that apply- also putting under a read more because hoo boy. many thoughts

for hawk, i've put him in literally everything at this point- he's a very versatile character but my favorite setting to put him in is definitely as a security guard for the pizzaplex. he'd just fit so well imo.

for springtrap and monty- i actually keep imagining them in the pokemon universe? they would not fit at all, but i just love assigning pokemon teams for my favorite characters. my main thing i keep crossing them over into is my oc universe with lore so deep i'd genuinely need several hours just to explain it-

for hawk? yes. we'd both be incredibly anxious and weird around each other but we could bond easily over our love of rabbits and insane ramblings. though knowing me we'd probably end up sitting in silence together for an hour or making out tbh

springtrap? my interpretation of him- yes. absolutely, i would take him home in an instant. he'd have to get used to my autism flaring up constantly around him because he's so cute but i feel like he'd be endeared by it, personally-

monty? honestly uh, it depends! i don't do well around prickly people because of my anxiety and due to my interpretation of him being prickly with a soft interior... depends on exactly what he says, really. man's absolutely a big softy though so i feel like we could be friends.

ooohohooho. hawk's fashion aesthetic is definitely mid-2000s emo boy, 100%, unapologetically. but i also imagine him liking soft pastels and dresses, so really he's a huge mixed bag. get you a man who can do both (and everything in between)

for springtrap- i imagine him wearing anything hawk makes for him, but he's incredibly attached to cute little vests. i imagine him being emotionally attached to spring bonnie- and with hawk repairing him to look more like him, he'd lean more into the fashion he dressed them in. vests, ties, little hats- though i feel like he would prefer wearing loose, flowing clothing such as dresses or skirts. imagining springtrap wearing a cute purple sparkling vest that hangs open with a soft yellow skirt is living rent free in my mind-

monty definitely loves wearing anything with scales on it. i imagine him wearing incredibly flamboyant glamrock clothing (though that seems a bit obvious-) but also having a HUGE soft spot for punk rock fashion. he definitely wears a black denim jacket with the sleeves cut off and patches all over it, belts and chains- the works. he would look so good in a spiked collar

very very self indulgent because this is my art but- for hawk and springtrap, definitely this sketch that i made:

they're just so happy together!! so fulfilled, they deserve this. for monty, literally any drawing from @/balloonboyismyson- i dont feel comfortable reposting their art as im not sure how they feel about that but ouuughh go look at their art for amazing monty content fr.

thank you for this this was super fun!!!

#g.txt #ask game answers #replies.txt #i seriously love just going wablablablabla abt their fashion senses too that was super fun to dig into

[summonhouse]

using my one whine card of the day ive only been so erratic lately because my family situation is shit as ever with my mom constantly shrieking and spending a weird amount of time at home and shes in the living room rn playing a gambling game on her ipad with the volume ramped up screaming and shrieking like a fucking child like an actual toddler. we got into a fight a bit ago because she was rambling about food dye giving kids the autism and adhd and tried fucking using me as proof when im damaged from her traumatizing me then when i sent a fucking 20 MINUTE video explaining in detail why its not real she said it was "too long" like the only one with "attention problems" here is you bitch. fucking glued to her ipad believing everything she ever reads only if its insane spending every single moment screaming at the top of her lungs at anything she doesnt like and then acting offended if anyone ever tells her shes wrong or points out shes fucked up I NEED TO GET OUT OF HEREEEEE i have never been so close to self damage befiore

[frosty-tian]

Another Ramble:

Managed to watch snippets of when Kageno is present during the live-performance.

Didn’t see him rocking back and forth while sitting (but maybe I missed it or was watching a different version).

Regardless… will just say right up, he’s still so autistic, it’s kind of insane (positive). 😭

(Making it clear it’s a headcanon (and I know autism isn’t something that’s the same for everyone, but seeing him and his actor’s performance/how he was portrayed made me so happy.)

#kageno jin #jin kageno #inazuma eleven #inazuma 11 #ina11 #frosty babbles