#seen thru

[hauntedbystorytelling]

Vivian Maier (1926-2009) ~ Animal Encounters, circa 1950s | src Heritage auctions: "Vivian Maier: A Singular Vision"

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#vivian maier #caturday #cats #Katze #cat #women photographers #gato #chat #gatto #cat portrait #wire mesh #seen thru #women artists #1950s #pets #Haustiere

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[stoopidstapler]

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #adventure time #goin insane over him #thers no words to describe how im feelin #i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE #FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED. #ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO??????? #ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P #IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH #SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP. #also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake #which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk #ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help #ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER. #im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help #maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.

[the-gotheltic-rowan]

so me and the bestie have been binge-playing re2/re4

#also known as Leon S Kennedy and the terrible horrible no good very bad day #y’all this man had seen so many man-made horrors beyond comprehension #playing this backwards going thru re4 like man this guy just isn’t phased and then playing re2 like what the DEVIL IS HAPPENING #NO WONDER HE’S JUST PISSED INSTEAD OF FREAKED OUT #racoon city got him MESSED UP #that’s why his muscles so big they full of TRAUMA #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 2 remake #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy

[umbreoncomplex]

regarding the new discord update: PLEASE send feedback. review the app. post about it online. tell discord its shit. that you dont want it. be loud and annoying about it. if you use twitter or something mention discord. talk talk talk about it! we dont fucking want this update, so dont stop talking about it

thank you @eeveelvl37 for the screenshots on how to navigate to the in-app feedback

#discord #discord update #please rb this bc i know a lotta people tend 2 not bother giving feedback or anything #im gonna post so much when i get the update myself #ive only seen it thru that one beta rollout they did and then screenshots snd videos from my friends #im not excited

[almostdailytf2]

i need to see medic be more testy methinks

#fc art #tf2 #tf2 medic #been knee deep in the tf2 wiki going thru the voicelines and i absolutely love how medic is usually straight up not having a good time #and i know all the mercs lines are supposed to be insulting but everyone else's lines are obviously against the other team #but medic is obviously yelling at his own team for being idiots. its great #and i feel like i havent seen that much in fan stuff. im sure its out there but for me personally i could use the surplus

[sentientsky]

i haven’t seen a single episode of x-files in its entirety. but this is canon because i said so. i’m chris carter btw xoxo

#haven’t seen it in its full #HOWEVER I HAVE ABSORBED THE PLOT AND CHARSCTERS THRU OSMOSIS #and by osmosis I mean learning ab it second hand from alex #and then watching clips and reading fic and making fanart bc I’m normal like that :) #x files #the x files #skinner txf #txf skinner #txf #txf shitpost #x-files #the x-files #shitpost

[yangjeongin]

HYUNJIN | MAMA 2020 ENDING

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids #hyunjin #bystay #createskz #staysource #malegroupsnet #a9gifs #flashing tw #*gif #*ccarly #*hyunjin #*carly:hyunjin #i was bored but didn't know what to gif so #i was just looking thru my ts files and remembered this. and was like i think that was kinda hard to color let me try #i did this for me because this is top 3 hyunjins of all time for me but also this is for new stays that haven't seen him #the way they had him do this to promote kingdom and then he wasn't even on it lollllll #this was also taking forever to upload i opened a post to complain about it and it uploaded LMAO works every time! #*hits

[zishuge]

watching xianxia is so fun because usually when i'm halfway through a drama and i want to reblog things, i have to be really careful when going through the tag and not look too closely at anything to try not to accidentally spoil stuff that happens later

but when i watch a xianxia drama and go through the tag i'm totally fine even if i look at everything because absolutely none of it makes any goddamn sense out of context. like i find gifsets of the main characters getting married. in one they're getting married to other people and in another they're getting married to each other. twice. then i find gifsets of those same characters dying in five different ways. in one scene one is dying in the other’s arms. in the next scene they’re dying together. someone straight up disintegrates into glitter. and i still have no idea if any of them end up alive or dead or married or alone or what on earth happens at the end

#till the end of the moon #love and redemption #love between fairy and devil #are the three i'm thinking of but i'm sure there are more that i haven't seen to which it applies #like... it's a dream! #it's their past life! #no it's their next life – they're reincarnated! #it's a different realm! #it's 500 years ago! it's 500 years later! it's TEN THOUSAND years ago! #it's both 500 years later AND a dream! #surprise she's a man! #xianxia is such a trip #i’m halfway thru tteotm rn and the gif sets are confusing lmao #my ramblings

[jeonwonwoo]

MEAN TAYLOR SWIFT (2010)

#first time ive seen a white woman on a ts file...i didnt know if i had to run it thru vs like kpop #taylor swift #tswiftedit #tsedit #taylorswiftedit #tswiftgifs #userelena #lauved #userleah #tuserlizzie #tusermelissa #userauden #usermorgan #tuserlucie #usersar #usergreta #013

[lolexjpg]

Williams: Off Grid | Abu Dhabi GP 2022

#logan sargeant #ben jacobs #benny jacobs #williams #williams racing #f1 #formula 1 #i was just goin thru old videos and was like. wait. i've seen this clip posted but never giffed. SO HERE IT IS #love how me n the other few logan giffers have been just. goin back 2 old stuff 2 cope. love that 4 us #care if u see this this is for u 😘 #myedit #*gif #*f1

[hauntedbystorytelling]

Heinrich Heidersberger (1906-2006) ~ Materialstudie mit Akt, 1948 | src Schneider-Henn (link to pdf)

#Heinrich Heidersberger #Heinrich Heinz Heidersberger #female nude #Akt #weiblicher akt #nu féminin #nudo femminile #seen thru #seen through #sheer fabric #1940s #standing nude

[bulbabutt]

these duos have the exact same fucking dynamic

#rottmnt #tmnt 87 #tmnt 1987 #87 donnie #rise donnie #i missed going thru turtlepedia galleries lmao #if anyone hasnt seen the episode donatellos duplicate you are MISSING OUT...

[k-wame]

Tarjei Sandvik Moe & Henrik Holm · 📸 Frida Marklund 🎭 Interview Magazine · October 2017

#waw ive never seen this photo before & i thot i know everything about that show [only watched it thru tumblr gifs btw] #tarjei sandvik moe #henrik holm #photography #photooftheday #homoeroticism #skam cast #isak x even #queer #lgbt #interview magazine

[iraprince]

i have what is probably a really obscure question - back in the day when 8tracks was a thing, there was a sweat (acid soup) mix that i THINK you made + posted, with a cover of LOVEFOOL. i'm trying to find that particular cover of LOVEFOOL. do you know which it was?

okay so this has driven me CRAZY bc i REMEMBER what ur talking about, but i cannot find it at all. i tried to do some basic sleuthing, like poking around searching at my twitter and stuff, but all i find from then is 1. scattered evidence of a few ppl being like "ira what the hell is this demonic cover of lovefool" and 2. me gloating about how i only found said demonic cover of lovefool through like a 45 minute google rabbit hole. not helpful, past ira. also, i must have downloaded it at some point to upload it to 8tracks, but that would have been like, two laptops ago and there's no way i can dig up the file.

anyway i got a bit closer by digging a little more -- i have this kind of hazy memory of literally just typing in something like "cool lovefool cover" and trawling list articles, and when i tried to recreate it i found this meanspirited little vice piece with a description that i am like, 99.9999% SURE IS REFERENCING THE VERSION WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!! ...but unfortunately bc it's from 2012, all the embeds are gone/broken (and as far as i can tell there's no remnants of links even when i inspect the page, tho i'm not very tech literate when it comes to stuff like this so maybe i'm missing something):

and as we can see here, even back then, if this was the cover we're thinking of, it wasn't attributed or traceable. but we do glean a LITTLE info from this: "under six minutes" means it was five and change, and it must have been uploaded to soundcloud at least 11 years ago.

i tried trawling thru soundcloud w those parameters in mind but couldn't find it... unfortunately i think there's a high chance the original account that uploaded it doesn't exist anymore. (i may have missed something, like maybe a different account has re-uploaded it and i scrolled past it bc i was looking at upload date, but expanding the search to any year is something i don't have the bandwidth for rn!!)

this might be a workable amount of info to at least go to reddit or something with? i feel like there must be at least one subreddit that's specifically dedicated to "help me find this obscure soundcloud remix that got deleted." but for now i'm afraid i must admit defeat, which sucks bc now that you've reminded me of it *i* really wanna listen to the decade-old demonic cover of lovefool too :')

#additionally the mix does still technically exist on 8tracks but that wasn't helpful either #bc the way 8tracks works now is it just searches the title+artist of the originally uploaded track on youtube. #so i clicked thru to get to the weird lovefool cover and it just stalls out on that one :/ #SIGH.......... well. file this under 'stark reminders about the impermanence of shit online' #also from what i've seen soundcloud's search function is just atrocious. so i also may have missed it just in a technical issues sense

[mishapen-dear]

mann im still thinking about that one foolish stream jaiden was on and was talking to him and forever (?) and said basically, “yeah roier is my platonic partner.” And like that alone fucking kills me but what nukes my tombstone is that IS. she said IS!! present tense roier IS her platonic partner. he’s married to cellbit but that doesnt change what they have!! cellbit Is roier’s romantic partner and jaiden Is roier’s platonic partner and one does not negate the other and fucking. it’s jaiden who says that. jaiden who was surprised to be invited to their wedding. she’s no less important to roier and she Knows that now. she was so reluctant to take up space in roier’s life (and i cant stop thinking about the house she built and then abandoned to live in his, and then to refer to the house as his) but here she is. roier has a new partner now but that doesnt mean she’s been replaced it just means that there’s a new place in his heart for a husband to go. she doesnt have to leave to make space he wants her to stay and she knows that.

#qsmp #i havent watched all the streams so classic disclaimer there of i may not be entirely on my rocker #but the ones i have seen are. yeah #if im misremembering when she said this im gonna Wail but i think it was the foolish stream where he told her pomme assassinated him #and then later on was the capybara ride thru the sky #anyway im shaking jaiden and roier and cellbit so violently #idk what the terms are when part of the polycule’s platonic but #jaiden and cellbit looking at each other as metamours and going ! a friend #drives me fucking bonkers #and the parallels between them.... #anyway anyway this has been: cubito insanity hour #coming up next: cubito insanity hour