#she turns into an absolute Puddle in front of the fire

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Letti for everyone's enjoyment! progression of melting! she likes the fire... perhaps a little Too Much...

#im weeping thinking about how much ash is getting on her rn #splayed out like a queen ready to track black pawprints all over my bed #s i g h. #she turns into an absolute Puddle in front of the fire #she will not move until i make her... or something startles her thoroughly enough.... #absolutely unprompted #i should have a cat picture tag #uhhhhhhh #Actually i should have a tag just for photos! cats and crafts both! #photos from the bog #yeah that works!

[dizzy-after-dark]

Cauterized | Steve Rogers

BOOM MIC DROP: SMUT FOR THE END OF THE YEAR! Y'all didn't think I would not post once this year, did you. Well, here it is. I TRIED! Mwah; see you in 2024!

Tags: Angst (not really but yeah), SMUT, fluff

Pairing: Nomad!Steve Rogers x F!Reader (Third Person)

Notes: UHHHHH 18+ BUCKOS; this is a continuation of Ignorant, which is the first part and angsty as FUCK but a personal fave of mine if I do say so myself; been really thinking about finishing my requests from over a year ago for Dinner At Dizzy's on my other account, @dizzydancingdreamer (masterlist linked if you're feeling peckish)

Warnings (what to expect, ig): oral (f recieving), fingering, sex (???), uhhhm lack of descriptive writing from a rusty author, sappiness, swearing, bad metaphors, shower sex, alcohol consumption (BARELY), size kink, over-use of the word "Stevie"

Word Count: 4.6k

She pushes the door closed, turning the shower on lazily. Her muscles ache as she twists the knob all the way to the left. Somewhere, sometime she was told about cauterization. You can seal wounds closed with fire— forcibly fuse the skin back together. She has no cuts. Nothing to fuse. And only hot water. However, maybe stepping into the scalding stream might fix the part of her brain that keeps replaying it all, over and over. 

Baby I— 

If anything, it might numb her. She would take that too right now. Hence the bottle on the counter, partially drunk and already open. She takes the first swig, the liquid like fuel to the inferno raging in her stomach, burning the rest of her in the process. The taste is acrid— she’s never been much of a drinker. She just wants to forget it all. Setting it down with a clunk, she strips out of grimey shirt, letting it puddle at her feet. 

Looking at the material, which at one point was a stark white but will now forever be a dingy gray, she laughs. Not really but, yeah, kind of— one of those half amused huffs, anyway. A pity laugh, for the state of her life. That shirt is practically trash. Even if she had the time, energy, or resources to wash it, there’s no way it’ll ever be the same. 

She should just throw it out. 

Is she even talking about the shirt anymore?

She kicks it into the corner, hands falling to the button of her jeans, swollen knuckles screaming as she fails a few times to push the little metal circle through the loop.

“Goddamnit,” she mutters to herself, and to the ghosts, and the spider she saw in the corner when she came in but didn’t have the heart to make the latter as well. 

She’s already made too many ghosts. 

“I, uh, I can help?”

None of those ghosts have ever answered before, though. 

Whirling around, fists balling in front of her face, she readies herself in less than a breaths time to send said ghost straight back to the grave—

“Woah, easy there, baby—”

Only to find Steve, his baby blues wide and a tad panicked but his hand nevertheless peeking through the crack of the door, reaching for her. Mind glazing over with confusion and, well, a fair bit of something russian and label-less, she blinks up at him and the damn door. She closed that— she remembers closing it… right? 

Her eyes flick down and the fire in her belly kindles a little more. 

“Are you kidding me?” She groans, the exhaustion an unwelcome guest in the cavern of her chest.  

His boot, right there in the doorway, holding the measly wooden traitor open. She never heard the damn click. Didn’t even bother to listen for it. Rookie mistake, honestly. She can’t even be mad, really. 

“Please just let me help.” Steve pushes past the door, both arms now extended towards her, but he doesn’t touch her yet. 

He’s waiting. She stays silent. Partly because she has no idea what to say— or what she wants— and partly because he hates it. He absolutely, agonizingly hates when she gives him the silent treatment. She watches his jaw tick, lips pressing together until they go white, and there’s a sick part of her that relishes in the cool satisfaction rushing down her spine. 

You made me like this.

But there’s also a part of her that mourns with him when he clears his throat, crystal eyes flooding over, liquid and glassy, and lowers his arms slightly. Not all the way. He’s hopeful, maybe. America’s sweetheart is always hopeful, that’s one of the things she fell in love with him for. 

That’s still Steve— her Steve. 

“I know—” Steve swallows, “I messed up. I just— you’re hurt, baby. Lemme’ help.”  

She huffs— why is it so fucking complicated? Why can’t they just be normal?

She is hurt. Nothing needs cauterizing but there’s no denying her mottled skin, blue-ish under the crappy motel bathroom lights. Her hands throb, joints screaming at her— when she turns to the mirror, she almost gags at the slight bald patch behind her right ear— fuck, that one had really stung. Absolutely ridiculous the way some people fight these days. 

Her silence is deafening. 

She wants to sob. It’s right there, in the hollow of her throat— she wants to scream. Maybe not at him but in general. She used to live in a penthouse, with all her friends, and the love of her life. Now what? She used to get hurt like this back then too but now it feels purposeless— what are they even doing this for if they have nothing. Have no one. It made sense when she still had him. 

Meeting his gaze in the mirror— disappearing a bit into fogged up glass but there regardless— she still has him. Kind of. But she still doesn’t say anything when she turns back to face him. The frown carved into her face feels vile— deep and disgusting and entirely real— but she can’t make it go away. She can’t stop the sniffle, either. Why can’t she just tell him she misses him?

“Fuck.” 

It’s mumbled under his breath. The Captain America, standing in some rundown wreck of a place off some lonely highway, is swearing. Because of her. Is this hell? It feels like hell. 

But, no, it can’t be, because his hands are so, so gentle as they cup her cheeks, thumbs softly dancing over the bruises, half assessing, half trying. Trying to do what, she doesn’t know. Wipe them away? Commit them to memory? She leans into his touch regardless, conceding ever so slightly. She won’t say it, but he can help. There isn’t a universe in which she would truly deny him. 

The first tear that falls isn’t hers, but his, landing on her forehead right before he buries his face in her hair, wrapping those supersoldier arms around her, trying and, well, failing not to crush her in the process. The tenderness in her broken body is worth it, though, because he smells like home, even if tinged with gunpowder and war. 

“I am so sorry—” he whispers, heartbeat erratic under her ear, chest heaving for breath— “I am so sorry I brought this on you. You’re hurt and it’s my fault.”  

Complicated. She fists his t-shirt as hard as she can— fists in until her hands go numb. It’s not fair how complicated it has to be for them. 

Steve didn’t throw her into the fight, didn’t slam his fist into her eye, or rip her hair out by the handful. Steve didn’t even make her come with him when he left; that was entirely her choice. But he did lose his mind a little bit. Power tripped a little too hard. Focused so much on keeping them all safe that he missed the part where he was just supposed to hug her— and that’s what sucked most— but he is now, right?

That has to count for something? 

He pulls back and her fingers tighten, steeling, tensing. He can’t go, even if she isn’t sure what they are anymore. 

The agony in his eyes when he draws the line from her balled fists holding on for dear fucking life to her own, misty gaze is indescribable. “Baby I don’t know how to fix this. I want to, I—” he clears his throat again and her frown carves even further into her skin, eyebrows drawing together— “I want to so fucking bad.”

He plants his forehead against hers and it aches, the warmth of his skin. “I don’t want to make it worse. I need you to tell me how to help.” 

There’s a stinging in her throat where the words simply don’t manifest. What the fuck is she supposed to say? Nothing, at all, really, because she doesn’t even know how to fix her and she’s not mad so there’s nothing to fix… but isn’t there? Isn’t there something between them that desperately needs mending? Isn’t she mad? 

Is it anger? 

Or is it something much more primal. 

No, there are no words she can tell him. She could show him, though. Maybe that will work.

Letting his shirt go, she watches the breath catch in his chest, stuck and frantic. She knows that feeling well— that icy desperation to keep holding on no matter what. But she’s only grabbing his hands, not leaving him, and he’ll see that soon so she continues to drag him towards the stupid, little button that her useless fingers couldn’t seem to undo. In hindsight, maybe they were just waiting for him. 

Realizing, his forehead is off hers quickly, eyes seeking hers. “What? I don’t—” She flattens his palms against her stomach, engulfing the button, and he breathes the last word out— “understand.” 

Her brows raise, cheeks still on fire but now also burning— yes you do. 

“Are you sure?” He asks but there’s a little click— the same one she hadn’t heard earlier— as his boot clad foot kicks the door properly shut, and she’s pretty sure he knows just how sure she is.

All it takes is her thumbs on his, prodding them towards her arch nemesis— damn you, Levi jeans— and the soldier is moving, not rough in his quick actions, but determined. The button is no match for Steve Rogers on a regular day, but today? Now that he has a goal? A starting place? The button may as well have disintegrated under his fingers. 

Her own hands fly to his shoulders, clinging to him as he tugs the blasted jeans off her legs, trying the best she can not to topple over with the sheer force of him. Material pooling at her feet, his palms smooth so slowly back up her now bare legs, rising goosebumps in their wake. She hasn’t been touched in ages— she feels kind of like an animal waking up from hibernation, disorientated and hungry. 

Grabbing at her hips suddenly, her ass is on the cool countertop before she even has the chance to get dizzy. Spreading her thighs with his own, he works on her bra next— this faded, hole ridden thing that if she wasn’t so engulfed in searing, licking desire, she’d probably be embarrassed about. But it’s gone so soon that she doesn’t have a chance and replaced instead with two, bulky hands that entirely engulf her breasts. 

They squeeze her skillfully— with purpose. Thumbs swiping delicious circles around her nipples, flicking this way and that, exactly how he knows she likes it— exactly the way that should have her as a mewling heap in his hold. But she’s not— she’s contained, even as her very skin thrums alive with anticipation. Is this revenge or is it just fucking complicated?

She can’t decide so instead she bites the moan clawing at her throat into small enough pieces to swallow, all the while tuning into something dark that sparks in his ever watchful gaze. 

She’s caught— he gets it now. 

“Really, baby?” He muses, palming her, squeezing just hard enough to give the touch a slight bite. His tone has her feeling like a deer in his headlights— like a freight train is barrelling directly at her and there’s nowhere to go— and she squeezes her thighs around him, welcoming the collision. “You think I won’t work for it?” 

She only blinks at him. Once… twice… 

Her panties are dropped somewhere into the abyss, long forgotten with the rest of her clothes, and his knees thud heavily against the tiled floor. Replacing his body, his head now hovers right in front of a different button, golden hair tickling her sensitive skin as he pulls her legs over his thick shoulders. His skin is warm but not as much as his balmy breath which hits her clit, teasing her into a mess, hands curling around the edge of the counter. 

Come on, Steve. 

But, no, he doesn’t give in to her just yet. First, he turns to her inner thigh, sucking her skin into his mouth with bruising pressure before letting it go with a pop. He peers up— nothing. Moving to the other one, he whispers quick kisses over her sex but never lingers, only biting into her flesh once more once across her mound, teeth almost teasing a whimper from her this time but no, she’s not budging. 

That doesn’t mean he isn’t driving her crazy. Inside, she screams— she craves. C’mon baby just give it to me. Outwardly, her hands drunkenly find his hair, tugging at his soft locks. Now, now, now she chants furiously.

He unseals his lips from her thigh, peering up, less dangerous and back to being her ever hopeful boyfriend— is her her boyf— He kisses her folds, spongy lips lingering a moment, rendering her blank and feverish. Angelic— he’s angelic. From under his long lashes he all but begs her, his dark eyes starving and wanting, but his hands are so soft on her hips, massaging deep into her. It’s this mixture of puppy dog pleading and a knowing of sorts— he knows she’s going to cave eventually.

How does he do that? 

“Words? Please?”

She only pouts and, again, the switch flips. “Fine.”

The word is punctuated with the warm, wet stripe he licks up her center, flicking his tongue languidly over her clit. For as rushed as he’d started this mission, he’s truly never been one to speed through his meals, preferring instead to devour her slowly— expertly— tasting her thoroughly like he has all the time in the world. Meanwhile her body pulses, teetering dangerously already on the knife-sharp edge of too much and too little as he masterfully carves her out. 

Her hands, which had moments ago tried to pull him closer, now use his hair as handles to keep herself from toppling off the counter when he slides her closer to him, burying his face fully into her heat. Heels digging into his back, she watches the spot where his shirt rides up intently, consumed not only by the harsh sucking on her clit but also the tanned, muscled skin peeking out and then disappearing below his own jeans, taunting her. Why hadn’t she taken it off him first? 

She doesn’t have time to think much more about it though because he’s ravenous and she may as well be ice cream, sweet and sticky, melting all over him, dripping down the sides of his face and fingers as they begin prodding against her. They tease, pushing into her but not quite far enough— hard enough.  

His gaze on her is overpowering— it’s deliberate. 

“Y’know,” he speaks against her, the vibrations making her tense, “you can just tell me what you want ‘and I'll do it.”

Her mouth is like sandpaper— her brain, uncooperative. This push and pull is becoming lethal, the next few pokes of his tongue honey slow and spine jolting. Please— she wants to beg. She’s so empty. So, so, achingly empty. Would his fingers even be enough? At this point, it’s as though he would need to crawl into her very chest to fill her up the way she needs to be. How could her words even convey something so needy? 

“Anything, baby. Whatever you want.” 

They can’t, so they don’t, but for the sounds she refuses to make, he doubles in his own, moaning his frustrations right against her. If he can’t make her say anything, he damn sure is going to make her do something. That’s probably why he finally caves, pushing his fingers in to the hilt, and she was stupid to think they couldn’t fill her, the slight burn of them not at all foreign but definitely intense. 

As they bury themselves in her over and over and over again, she bucks against his hand, chasing the start of a little ball of electricity growing in the pit of her stomach, getting higher and higher with every twist of his fingers. Combined with the incessant flick of his tongue— she’s a goner. Stifling the moan, her teeth find home in her lip, biting so hard her mouth gains a slight tang that excites her even more. What’s she even doing? 

Wouldn’t it be more fun if she just let loose? Isn’t that what’s been missing the whole time? The fun? 

When she sees the glint in his piercing stare— impish despite everything they’ve been through— she gets it. It’s hopeless— she is and they are but they’re together and the fun isn’t gone— she’s done. He earned it.

“Stevie—”  she finally cries, animalistic; it doesn’t sound like his name but he must know it is because, even with the intense throbbing consuming her entire body, she can feel his shoulders soften under her thighs— “please don’t stop, I’m so close!”

“That’s it baby,” he coos against her clit, voice raw, compliant as he continues to pump his fingers in time to her squirming, “that’s my girl. I missed that pretty voice of yours.” 

At what point the first orgasm turns into a second, she isn’t sure. It’s all one big blur of her whiny moans, wanton and liquid body, and his hushed prayers against her flushed skin, tongue lapping relentlessly against her. More baby; I know you can give me more. She doesn’t so much hear them as she does become them, absorbing them into her skin. That’s it angel— so good, so good for me.

She can feel him drinking in her mumbled, jagged noises, some words but others mere syllables, coaxed out of her by tongue and fingers all the same. Steve— honey— mmph, fuck, right there— oh my— the words pour out now, dam broken beyond repair, and for some reason, or maybe a lack thereof, it spurs her on even more, a freed woman if ever there was one— 

“Oh my god, Stevie!”

It’s maddening— he’s maddening. 

He’s relentless. 

It isn’t until she yanks his still-eager mouth away from her, stomach iron-tense from way too much overstimulation, does he slowly draw his hand reluctantly back from her shuddering body. His other arm unwinds from where it’s been snaked around her knee, anchoring her to him throughout the duration of his worship. Now pushing him upright, holding him just near enough to where she can hear his labored breaths but not feel them, she shivers, cold as ice without his heat. 

He stares down at her, unmoving, and her heart jumps in her chest. She doesn’t understand— he’s just standing there while she shudders, breathless. His shirt is stretched, no doubt from her pulling at it, and in noticing the damage she remembers how she’s completely naked and he’s completely not. Exposed doesn’t even begin to touch how she feels. 

She wraps her arms around her chest, knees drawing up to tuck under her chin. “Steve?” 

She’d forgotten what it felt like to constantly have him next to her— to have his furnace like warmth melting into her skin almost every minute. Now that she’s had her first real taste of him again, she’s de-acclimated to being alone. She needs him.

“C’mere,” she begs, shaking and a bit confused, why isn’t he touching her still, “please, Stevie, come back.” 

When her fingers finally swipe against his shirt, barely snagging it, he flinches, coming back to her. “Sorry baby, I didn’t mean—” 

She flings herself at him, heart off kilter and erratic in her chest as her lips press against his, swallowing his apologies and hoping beyond anything else that he just catches her, like he always does. He does, kissing her back fervently— reverently. His tongue, tinted with her essence, scoops into her mouth the same way he had been between her thighs. She welcomes the way he takes charge, knowing he holds her against him with every ounce of strength he has.

“—’m sorry,” he pants into her mouth, clearly not satisfied with the success of her attack, “so, so sorry baby.” 

He repeats the words deliriously. Presses them into her hair and against her temple, on her chin and both her cheeks. He especially feeds them to her, word for word, against her lips, soft at first and then rough, frenzied. He’s not talking about right now. He’s still back in that apartment; the fallen angel amongst the rubble, wings too broken to just leave it. 

It’s not complicated. And it’s not revenge, because she could never make him feel worse than he already does, nor would she want to. So, in between kisses and apologies, she answers.

“I know, Stevie.”   

“It’s ok— we’re ok, Stevie.” 

“Steve, stop— I love you!”

He stops. He sets her down, bare feet planting unsteady against the ground. He steps back. What?

“Stevie?” She questions, already moving forward, but his arms, sweeping over his head, towing his shirt up and off, halt her in her tracks. 

Oh.  

 Oh. 

This time, when she says his name it's only a breathy moan, fingers searching for his belt loops and hooking him towards her. In the time it takes for her hands to find the button— this one, thankfully, popping open immediately— there must be a god somewhere who didn’t abandon them in the rubble— he’s back on her, one hand carefully threading through her hair, dragging her mouth back to his, while the other pushes the rest of his clothes to the ground.

“I love you, I love— ah, fuck,” he hisses as her hand wraps around him, thumb brushing over his velvety tip.

For the first time, she smiles against his mouth, calm. “Language, Rogers.”

He pulls back, one neat eyebrow flicked up, but there’s humor in his eyes— no more tension. No more worry. Just fun. He leans down, nuzzling his chin down the side of her face, breath fanning her ear. Her hand stutters as it tugs on him, dragging up and down. He’s so hard— it’s been so damn long. 

“Thought I was Stevie, baby?” It’s an absent minded tease, blush lips parted even after the fact, glued to the way she touches him. 

In turn she watches his face, crowned in a mussed up halo of gold, some of which sticks to his forehead but most falling at every which angle, a product of her thighs sealing themselves around him. She can’t say that she’s never seen him this disheveled but she’ll never get used to it. He’s perfect— she makes him so messy. 

Clearly, she hadn’t been the only one enjoying herself, though, if the heaviness of him between her fingers, rutting into her palm is anything to go by. She squeezes harder, testing something, and he groans something almost inhuman against her neck. Guttural. He’s so close already. It fuels her like nothing else, tickling the part of her that just wants to please. She’s making reparations, too. Speeding up, she works him faster. Come on, honey.  

“Stevie—” she echoes and the next thing she knows, he’s pulling her off him, pushing her towards the steam which billows out from behind the curtain. 

From the moment her feet touch the warm, wet surface of the shower floor, everything is a blur. The water sprays over her harshly, but only for a moment, before he overpowers it with his own, massive body, just as searing against her skin. She registers the slick splat of her back against the wall, a grunt— missed this, baby, and her own feral howl as he slams into her. There’s no waiting, no tiptoeing, only his cock sealing them together furiously once more. 

One of her legs is hiked up impossibly far, hinging near his hip where his hand crushes her to him. The other leg holds her up— barely— heel raised, toes splaying for grip as she reaches higher. He’s just so big— so tall and so thick. So impossible to adequately open herself to without him fully lifting her but she wants to try so she does her best to meet his brutal pace, clinging around his neck desperately. 

If his fingers had filled her entirely, his cock is almost unbearable. She relishes it, though, the way she can almost feel him in her damn throat with each and every drag. It’s mesmerizing, the way there’s no need for adjustment— for remembering. He knows her body like it’s his own and it makes her drool with pleasure.   

The slapping of their skin together proves to be louder than the rush of the water, but not more so than Steve whose mouth is working over time, ladeling praises directly into her ear, soaked, stubbly chin grating deliciously against her temple.

“You look so pretty baby,” he hums, staring mesmerized at their bodies to where he slips in and out of her, “ look at you taking me so well.”  

And she does. 

It’s a lewd notion, the way she can see exactly where he is inside her by the way her belly ripples with his plunges, but one that makes her gasp nonetheless, spasming around him which is also visible to both of them. Loosening one of her hands from its vice grip on his shoulder, he places it on the exact spot, urging her to feel just how big he is. With every sloppy push and pull, she does feel it, and it sends her reeling.

“See that?” He rasps, and she can only nod, mouth agape enough for some of the water falling off his hair to drip into it. 

She swallows it, tongue somehow so, so dry despite everything. Her nerves are on fire, everything so much slower than it should be. 

The agonizing pull of his hand on hers, dragging her own fingers under his to toy with her clit. 

The little circles that take hours to complete but nurture the current running through her veins regardless. 

The fucking torturous in and out of his cock— taunting her, languidly pounding her for what feels like an eternity— she can’t think. She’s in the water but she feels under it, too, foggy and pent up. She just wants to cum—

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna—” 

“—Stevie!” 

She breaks through the sluggish pleasure into electric and all consuming waves, head falling against the wall as his hips stutter against hers, pumping once, then twice, before falling still. Each time, she clenches harder, babbling something gritty and foul and incomprehensible. Something along the lines of holy fucking shit baby but its blurred with searing, pulsing pleasure.

There’s stars behind her eyes and steam in her nose as he falls against her chest, sopping hair tickling her hypersensitive skin. Him pulling feels like what two exposed wires touching must— all sparky and hot. It’s too much. 

“Mmm, careful baby,” she mumbles and he chuckles. 

“Of course.” 

The rest is truly a lull. Steve doesn’t bother gathering their clothes, only her, carrying her limp body to the bed and carefully setting her under the covers, dripping and all, before joining her. If she weren’t so sleepy, she would have scolded him. But she is and her eyes are refusing to stay open, let alone give him that look. It’s all she can do = to seek his warm skin once more, slithering against his body and rooting herself there. 

Cauterized, or something like it. 

#Steve Rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #marvel smut #MCU smut #Avengers smut #dizzy is BACK #did you miss me?

[kitkatscabinet]

ayo lemme get some fluffy sansa stark with a side of reader accidentally saying “i love you” for the first time <3333 please and thank you, here’s my card

You and Sansa are childhood friends, growing up in Winterfell together, back when times were simpler and you were both young and naive

You would always be spotted walking the keep together arm in arm, giggling and smiling at each other

It was you that comforted Sansa when Lady was killed, held her in your arms and stroked her hair, humming a soft lullaby into her hairline

You are separated when she travels to King's Landing and its a very teary send off. The both of you are miserable for weeks but at least you still have letters. Until Ned Stark is killed then the two of you lose communication.

you don't get to reunite until after Ramsay's death.

There's lots of tears, the two of you collide into a puddle of limbs and sobs in the middle of the courtyard for all to see. but neither of you care, and the both of you refuse to let the other go

if you were inseparable as kids you're even more so now. Absolutely glued at the hip.

Though you notice Sansa pulling away a little, flinching at touches. eventually she tells you about Ramsay and you are LIVID. if there had been any body left to desecrate you would have.

Sneaking into her rooms, holding her and stroking her hair because she cant really sleep anymore

always standing in the space behind or beside her, being her personal shield.

Spending as much time as possible catching up on the years of childhood innocence the both of you have lost.

brushing and braiding her hair

its not even a month after you're reunited when it slips. You're curled up in front of the fire together, tracing little shapes into the wrist of her skin when you say it.

I love you

its a ghostly whisper but Sansa still hears it, gasping as she turns to you with eyes wide and full of hope. At first you don't realise what has warranted her reaction until

"Say it again. Say you love me again... please"

and so you do. Over and over

you tell her every morning and every evening for the rest of your lives

You become somewhat of a legend amongst Winterfell in the future. children dreaming of a love like yours and Sansa's

#sansa stark #sansa stark x reader #got #game of thrones #game of thrones x reader

[nostalgiachan]

Bullseye

Prompt Twenty-Seven: Injured Vier or Companions

C/W: spiders

Summary: The Phase Spider Matriarch says "shoot the medic first" and gets the jump on Vier. Astarion has to think fast to save her, but will it work? (1,130 words)

---

Why were they down here in this spider den? What had they hoped to find? What even drove Vier to drag everyone down to the bottom of the well - and more importantly, what drove the rest of them to follow? Had the tadpoles in their brains chewed through their common sense, or had some other madness compelled them so?

They should’ve turned around when they saw the webs. They certainly should’ve turned around after the first spider attack. And yet, there they were, facing down an absolutely massive Phase Spider matriarch and her brood and cocking things up in just about every way imaginable. Lae’zel had been flanked by two of the blue behemoths, and though she had nearly carved through her twin assailants, she was quickly running out of steam. Gale was surrounded by hatchlings, fresh from the one cache of eggs they hadn’t managed to find and smash, and was struggling to clear them out without setting everyone around him on fire.

Vier, meanwhile, had the misfortune of coming face to face with the matriarch herself. Her natural resistance to poisons did little to avail her against the spider’s gnashing fangs and its venom-filled spit, and it struck so quickly and so viciously, she’d never have a chance to channel her healing magics. Within moments, she was on her knees in a puddle of bile, toxin burning through her veins as she struggled to keep the world around her in focus.

And then, there was Astarion, tucked away in the shadows, bow drawn, waiting for the right time to strike. Vier had made for an excellent distraction - while the spider queen was busy trying to taste drow meat, he’d slipped from her many-eyed sight and was lining up a deadly little something for her. But as Vier dropped to all fours, he froze.

Shit! If she goes down, the rest of us won’t be far behind!

Quickly, he retracted his arrow and dug into his belt for the only healing potion he had on him. With the distance between them, he’d likely not make it to her in time to hand it over, and if the matriarch could take down a woman in heavy armor, she would make even shorter work of him should he get in range.

There was only one option.

Fly true, you beautiful bottle!

Summoning up every last ounce of strength, he launched the vial directly at Vier’s almost-prone form with a mighty volley. From the corner of her eye, Vier witnessed something small and red rapidly approaching her, before suddenly, there was a sharp crack against the side of her head and her world went black. The potion bottle shattered spectacularly as it smashed Vier directly in the skull, and she slumped over in the puddle of poison. 

Astarion’s gut sank as he watched her fall. Had he just killed Vier? With a healing potion? In his utter shock, he couldn’t keep from exclaiming, “Shit!” Immediately, the matriarch’s attention turned to him, and in the blink of an eye, it phased directly in front of him, reeling back for a nasty bite. Swiftly, he rolled out of the way of the first strike, and dove away from the follow-up spit of venom. But he was quickly running out of room on the narrow stone pathways, and one false move would send him careening to the rocks below - or worse, into one of the yawning chasms beyond.

But just beyond the matriarch’s eight-legged frame, there was movement. Vier came to, face halfway in the puddle of toxin, mouth full of wretched spider bile and skull absolutely throbbing with pain. Though it was by the slimmest of threads, she was hanging on, and she picked herself up on shaking legs. She wasn’t going to die down there; none of them were. With one hand raised to the sky and the other gripping the talisman of Lathander around her neck, she channeled the healing glow of the dawn’s light. “Te curo!” the words rose from her burning throat, and a soothing breeze enveloped the party, reinvigorating them completely and turning the tide at last against the spider horde.

As Lae’zel finally cut down the two phase spiders surrounding her, and Gale set the last of the hatchlings to the torch, all attention turned to the matriarch. In haste, she phased away to one of the many spiderweb bridges stretched across the rocks, hoping to envenomate her prey from a distance; but they were to no avail, as one good fireball set the web burning and the matriarch tumbling to the earth. Vier, Lae’zel, and Astarion quickly followed up, hurling Guiding Bolts and well-aimed arrows before she ever had a chance to recover.

As the matriarch’s massive legs finally curled up, they knew they had won.

The moment her adrenaline finally wore off, Vier’s head was set to agonizingly throbbing once more. Gingerly, she reached for the spot just behind her ear where the potion bottle had connected, and audibly winced as her fingers touched the bruised, swiftly swelling flesh. She would live, but man was she going to have a nasty goose egg for the rest of the day, at least.

As Lae’zel and Gale took stock of the various spoils found about the den - including a rather ominous looking amethyst - Vier approached Astarion, who looked rather pleased with himself, all things considered.

“Well, hello,” he chirped in his insufferably smug fashion. “Come to thank me for saving the day?”

Immediately, the throbbing worsened as Vier’s blood was set to racing with annoyance. “I am thankful for your help, truly,” she seethed. “I very well may have died without it. But next time, could you perhaps aim for center mass instead?”

“Well!” Astarion huffed, lips pouting and hands standing proudly on his hips. “You must not be that thankful if you feel the need to complain!”

“Alright, how about I lob a potion at you next time you need the healing? I’ll chuck it right at your face. I’m sure you’ll be whining for days.”

As though he could sense there was violence a-brewing, Gale stepped forth, presenting Vier with a piece of conjured-up ice wrapped in a rag. “While I’m all for spirited debates about the merits of projectile healing, how about we do such well away from the spider nest, hmm? While we seem to have thoroughly cleared the area, as they say, ‘If there’s one in your house, there’s four in your walls.’”

Vier tenderly placed the ice rag against her swelling head as Gale ferried the party out of the spider’s den and back to camp. She couldn’t tell what pissed her off more: the fact Astarion had saved her at all, or the fact he’d surely be gloating about it forever.

#my writing #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #astarion #gale dekarios #lae'zel #drow tav #cleric tav #named tav #vier alurlssrin

[kissorkill15]

Remember: A Sky High Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Years after they all graduated, the Sky High gang are just remembering their high school days while looking at the moon.

It was 10:43 at night, and the group of new heroes were just sitting on top of a building, watching the moonlight after a long day of crime fighting.

Will Stronghold. He was getting stronger and stronger each and every other day, and flying higher than the birds in the sky. Layla Williams. She was getting better at her chlorokinesis, and she wasn't the same pacifist you used to know before. Sure, she's still nice and sweet, but she'll become a little less nice if you provoke her.

Warren Peace. His pyrokinesis was also getting stronger, he was able to move fire in all shapes in sizes, even transform into a dragon. He was also kinder and sweeter, and not the same hothead he was back then. He was, but just not as much as a jerk. Zach Braun. He wasn't the same glowy dork you used to know, now not only could he glow in the dark, but he could also manipulate neon and fling balls of acid at things.

Magenta Lewis. Her shape shifting powers were getting better, she's not the same goth guinea pig girl, she could change into many different animals now, too. She's also got the hang of hand to hand combat. Last, but not least. Ethan Bank. He wasn't the same puddle of goo you used to know. Nowadays, he was a hydrokinetic that could breathe underwater and talk to fish. Kind of like Aquaman, but better.

As the heroes kept looking at the moon, Will suddenly had a strange thought come to mind.

"Remember Sky High?"

The group turned their heads to look at him.

"Sky High?"

"Yeah. High school. Do you remember it? All of the crazy times we had there? My favorite times were in Freshman Year."

Layla looked at her lap for a minute before answering.

"Yes, I actually do remember Sky High. I couldn't say Freshman Year was the best time, but we did have some great memories there."

"Like what? Power placement?", asked Magenta.

Layla turned to look at Magenta, "Oh no, absolutely not. Embarrassing people in front of everyone else and deciding whether or not their powers are useful? That was my least favorite memory.", she said. "But I will admit, while I wasn't exactly happy about being placed in the Sidekick Class, I was happy to be with all of you. Not only that, but Mr. Boy was really nice.

They all nodded in agreement.

"And Warren, you were such a jerk back then. No offense, but whatever you were mad at Stronghold about, get over it.", said Magenta.

"He was pissed that my dad put his dad in jail.", said Will.

"I'm still not 100% over it, Stronghold. But I've come to accept that whatever happened with our dads had nothing to do with us."

Will smiled at that. He sometimes liked when Warren recalled his old words from some time ago, and he was even happier to know that Warren wasn't holding a grudge anymore. Ever since Barron Battle was released from prison, Warren was nicer to Stronghold and has called him by his actual name a couple of times.

"What about the teachers? Does anyone remember the teachers?", asked Ethan.

"Don't forget about the students. Half were absolute saints and others were sacks of shit.", Zach replied.

"Language!", Layla scolded.

Zach rolled his eyes. "It's true, though. Remember Lash and Speed? They were the biggest sacks of shit in the history of high school. All the dunking people's heads in the toilet, all the shoving people into their lockers, and stealing our lunch money. I'm not apologizing for speaking the truth."

"Never apologize for speaking the truth, babe. And don't forget Penny Lent, she was also a huge bitch.", said Magenta.

Ethan rolled on his back and put his arms behind his head. "But not all of the students were completely bad. Like you said, some were actually pretty chill. Freeze girl, Larry, Carbon Copy kid, that one guy who has six arms, the other guy with acid spit, the girl who can turn into a ball-"

"Ethan, I thought you memorized everyone's names."

"Sorry, all of this crime fighting has clouded up my mind. I'll have to revisit the old year book once I get the chance."

They all started laughing at that.

"But back to the teachers. Coach Boomer for example.", said Will.

"Yeah, believe it or not, Coach Boomer was my favorite teacher."

The group turned to look at Warren.

"For real?", asked Magenta.

"Yes. I won Save the Citizen a couple of times before you guys came to Sky High. He told me that even though I was the son of a supervillain, I was the best fighter in the school. Probably better than Lash and Speed."

"No freaking way, man.", said Will.

"Yes freaking way, man.", replied Warren.

"What about Mr. Boy and Mr. Medulla?", asked Ethan.

"Medulla was a little bit of a jerk, I had to refrain from calling him Megamind a couple of times. But he was surprised I knew how to build a ray. Mr. Boy and I didn't really speak to each other, but I thought he was kind of scared of me. I didn't really blame him, I had an intimidation factor and dangerous powers, but I thought he was kind of nice."

Layla turned to look at him, "Well let me tell you something about Mr. Boy. He was the best teacher ever. He didn't treat Will any better or any worse than the other kids in the Sidekick Class, and he helped the Commander in a lot of his journeys. He also caught baby Jetstream when she was about to hit the ground at the homecoming dance."

"Wow.", said Warren.

A moment of silence.

"Remember the cafeteria fight between Will and Warren?", asked Magenta.

Everyone's eyes widened at that memory. Of course they all remembered the cafeteria fight. Warren doubled over and started laughing.

"Oh yeah, I remember that!", Warren said in between giggles. "I was extremely pissed at Stronghold for mentioning my dad! I tried to kill him that day!"

Will glared at Warren.

"It's not funny! I almost shit my pants that day."

"I know, and it was so fucking funny!"

"Language, you two!", said Layla.

A few moments later of their bickering, Warren stopped laughing and Will started sulking.

"I still kicked your ass that day, though.", murmured Will.

"I didn't know you were going to get your powers that day, Stronghold."

"Whatever."

Zach was the first to change the subject. "Remember when Layla pretended to date Warren to make Will jealous?"

"I do.", said Layla. "I panicked when Will asked me who asked me to homecoming, so I just said the first thing that came to my mind."

"And that's how I ended up with you people.", said Warren.

Warren still kept the secret of accidentally falling in love with Layla while pretending to date her, he thought it didn't matter. It didn't matter, he was with Freeze girl now, and that crush was a secret he was taking with him to the grave.

"You love us and you know it, hothead.", said Magenta.

"Don't get all smug about it, rat girl."

That's when something else came to Will's mind.

"Oh my gosh! Remember Gwen?"

Everyone turned to look at Will.

"Gwen Grayson?", asked Layla.

"Yes."

Warren scoffed. "Of course we remember Royal Pain in the ass. What about her?"

"The day of the homecoming dance and you guys were escaping from the gym, that's when me and Layla shared our first passionate kiss."

Layla's face heated up at that memory. "Yes, that was my favorite memory of Sky High. I just loved that moment."

"Ah yes. I just loved the day where we saved the school from falling out of the sky, and proved that we're not heroes or sidekicks, just people.", Zach said.

"I loved when Gwen turned all of the students into babies. Sure it was a part of her evil plan, but still, everyone was so freaking cute that day.", Ethan squealed.

Will got up and started floating away from the building. "Yes, all of those great times at Sky High. But if I had to choose my favorite times, it was all of the fights."

"Why the fights?", asked Ethan.

"If Warren never tried to kill me that day, I would've never gotten my super strength. If me and Warren had never won Save the Citizen, you the sidekicks would still be bullied to this day. And if Gwen never threw me out of that window, then I would've never gotten my flight powers."

They all knew Will was right. The fights were the best memories of high school. Not because of fun or because of attention seeking, but because something good came out of it. Will floated closer to the building towards Layla, and Layla gave Will a big kiss.

"I didn't really like the fights, but you're right. They were the best parts of high school."

Will put his hands on Layla's, and kissed her again.

The sweet moment was interrupted by the sound of a loud crash and boom coming from the distance, and they all immediately knew that there was a bank robbery going on.

"Do you guys want to take care of this dork or let the cops handle it?", asked Will.

"Tear this bitch apart.", everyone except Layla said.

"Alright, let's go."

#sky high #will stronghold #layla williams #warren peace #magenta lewis #zach braun #ethan bank #sky high fanfic #fanfic #my fics

[ofdarkestdesires]

Bad End prompt: MJ is ambushed by a symbiote that fucks her until she breaks so it can become one with her.

A puddle of rainwater splashed under her foot as she rushed around the corner, fear in her eyes as she raced away from the horror she’d just witnessed. The street was dark and silent, no sign of any help—just an abandoned church at the other side of the street. Perhaps her catholic childhood called out to her, or maybe she just hoped luck would smile on her—in any case, she rushed across the street, throwing herself into the boarded-up front door and forcing her way inside.

The abandoned chapel was quiet. Cobwebs hung from the rafters, clung to the surfaces, denoting the generations of spiders that had reclaimed this sanctuary of the divine before even they found it in hospitable. For Mary-Jane, though, it would be enough. She sighed with relief, stumbling into the room and dropping down before the pulpit, her body shaking with fear.

And then she heard the wet schlap of something heavy drop behind her.

MJ’s eyes widened with shock, and slowly she turned around. To her absolute horror, standing in the walkway right behind her was a massive, muscular black symbiote. Not Venom—there was no spider-mark symbol on their chest—but they were a Symbiote monster all the same. And as they stared at her, she shuddered as she watched the long, slithery tongue slip out to lick its fanged smile.

For some reason, her legs refused to work—she tried to stand, but her legs buckled and dropped her. Before she could make another attempt, the Symbiote had lunged at her, and she was pinned to the cross at the far of the room. She cried out as she felt sharp claws rip at her clothes—her flawless figure was unharmed, but she now stood totally nude before the otherworldly beast.

“N-no~! S-stop thi—mnmph~?!” She tried to cry out, but almost immediately she found her mouth assaulted by the Symbiote’s long tentacle-like tongue, thrusting ruthlessly down her throat. Her moment of shock gave it ample time to press her hard into the cross—and suddenly, she felt something ungodly huge slam into her pussy, like a fire-extinguisher being shoved into her.

And despite it all—she found herself moaning with absolute pleasure! Never had she been fucked so hard and so rough. Something was very wrong—this creature was doing something terrible to her, as it fucked her hard against the symbol of divinity, but she found it harder and harder for her to care. She found herself moaning into the tongue of the creature as it continued to fuck her.

The moment the creature slammed balls deep into her and started to cum, she felt the transformation take over. She couldn’t resist now even if she wanted—she gave one final moan of pleasure before black tar-like webbing engulfed her form and fully assimilated with her.

The Symbiote grinned as they stared down at the far more feminine version of itself. The female Symbiote purred with desire, kissing it’s parent tenderly, before she turned and strutted out, looking for her own prey to infect.

MJ Parker-Watson would never be seen again.

#anon ask #ofdarkest does snippets #ofdarkest does marvel

[dominantwolf]

The dead of winter

"You can't just go outside with nothing on, it's freezing out there!" My mom screams out to me as I'm running full speed into the thigh high snow. Forgetting my coat and boots was absolutely not at the top of my priority list. A loud crash came from over the hill and my first thought was to get to it. Never mind the hyperthermia, that can be easily solved with a roaring fire. I heard crying as I approached the crash site. With the utmost caution, I climbed over the hill feeling the cold pierce my skin. "I screwed up... why am I like this?!" As I make the steps towards the car crash, I see her. Curled into a ball and clutching her knees as if for dear life. She was big for a woman, as if she could tower over me when she stands up. "Hey, are you ok?" I call out coming closer to this mysterious woman. "Hello?" "Mmmm" A slight moan escapes her purple lips. "Oh shit... Hey, are you able to move?" I rush over to her to try to pick her up. She strikes at me. "HEY!!! What the hell? I'm trying to help you!" Only then did I notice the muscles in her arms as they lunged towards me, gently glistening in the dim sunlight. Why am I thinking about her muscles? My mom always did tell me that I was hopelessly gay but damn, I didn't think it was this bad. Her white dress was tattered by the accident. I hadn't noticed that there wasn't any blood until I tried to help her up. "I don't know your pronouns but, please let me help you. You look hurt but.... there's..." I hesitate to finish my sentence as she is now standing in front of me, towering over me just as had assumed... "She, it's she" she whispers through her gritted teeth. "And yes, you can help me. Don't get any cute ideas about calling the hospitals or cops though. Please." I stand there craning my neck to make eye contact with the statuesque beauty. "Ye-yes ma'am." "Where am I?" She looked as if she came from a different time let alone town. "You're in Denver Colorado. Where do you think you are?" That sounded kind of snippy but, to be fair, she did try to hit me so I was still pissed and felt justified. I think she picked up on that. "I'm sorry for trying to hit you, I was scared. Are you ok little one?" She says sweetly as she gently grabs my arm to check for scratches or cuts. "Hey...ummm... do you want to get inside somewhere warm?" I barely manage to get the sentence out before she picks me up and heads towards my house. Ok, I've had dreams about this happening. The whole tall woman picking me up and carrying me thing is HOT and now I'm a puddle in her broad arms. She is carrying me with very little effort, as if I'm nothing but a doll. I dared not fight her even though she was in the crash. "For someone who just got into a crash, you are mighty strong and spry." She looks down at me with worry in her eyes. " Yes, but I'm not the one shivering and turning purple. Now, stop worrying and just let this happen little one" she says grinning like a cat who just stole the canary. I couldn't come up with a comprehensive argument so I just stayed silent, slowly dying from the gay panic coursing through my entire body. This woman has managed to derail my already feeble mind in one interaction. What the hell? Still nothing but a puddle in her arms, she approaches my front door. "Can I go inside little one?" Her face now mere inches from mine, causing my heart to do a little dance in my chest. "Why do you need to ask? It's, my house and I'm in your arms...I think that automatically gives you the right to walk in." Sarcasm escaping my mouth as it is my only defense against this feeling of arousal rising inside of me. I think she knows this and is doing it on purpose. That bitch. "Because it's your house dear, is that not customary?" What time is she from?! Her arms tense ever so slightly, her muscles moving underneath my body. She pulls me closer to her, I can smell her skin. It smells like lavender. It's my favorite scent. My head is swimming with thoughts I dare not repeat to anyone. Not even my best friend who knows all of my secrets. "Y-yes you can go inside" I stammer.

#lgbt stories #wlw stories #lady dimitrescu

[gummybear1031]

I've actually been watching good horror movies recently. "Terminator;" "Jaws;" the original "Mummy," which is racist but not as racist as expected. All of the "Friday the 13th"s up to "Jason X."

Then, my mama told me I may have been conceived during a movie called "Chopping Mall." So I HAD to watch that. (Don't worry. I wasn't; the timing is a few months off.)

Sir, why are you shooting directly into R2DBag’s metal plating? Surely, the obviously glowing weak point of his eye is where you should be aiming.

It’s been exactly a minute-and-a-half, and this movie is obviously a great idea. 

I really wanted their designations to be ACAB, not Protector. Also, I’m glad that the CEO keeps going “They can’t kill people!” while explaining all the ways in which they could kill people. 

“They remind me of your mother. It’s the laser eyes.” is amazing. 

Dude: “Absolutely nothing can go wrong.” Title: *immediate blood red lettering* CHOPPING MALL

The old couple watching the young couple PDA’ing all over the place, turning to each other like they were going to complain, and then kissing was absolutely adorable. I’m going to be real sad if they get Killbotted. 

Did malls have independent restaurants in them? Ours only had chain stores and fast food. 

The chef is wiping the spatula on his apron, and the waitress has her ticket book in the food. I need to call the 1980s health department. 

Lightning strikes: the natural enemy of AI Killbots. 

Less than 10 minutes in the movie and the Killbots have gone rogue! This movie doesn’t play around. 

Monday? Is the mall closed on weekends? That seems unlike everything I’ve heard about them. 

For it to be lightning this much, there doesn’t seem to be any thunder and it doesn’t look like it’s raining. 

I’ve been married for seven years, and that lingerie trick would have worked on my spouse too. 

I’m assuming all these stores are actually parodies of real popular 1980s stores that I’m not familiar with. Or this is the only shopping mall in history where everything is run by locals. 

In 1986, my mama’s hair looked almost exactly like Susie’s but black from her shoulders down. I think she may have had that exact same outfit too. 

Did the Killbots clean up their murder?

Do these kids not know about the Killbots?

Does the Killbot not care about the “party?” I put it in quotations because I’m not sure it is a party. 

Wait, is the restaurant called Licorice Pizza? 

…She doesn’t allow him to go down on her? What man wrote this? 

Why is everybody so obsessed with drinking in the mall? 

Maybe don’t be aggressive with the taser bot that has sent a bolt into the puddle of water you’re standing in, Walter. 

Either Mike is really bad at sex or Leslie is really good at it. Or they’re both idiots who weren’t written to sound like real people. 

The music is so bad, but I kinda love it. It really matches the rest of the movie. 

How did the Killbot open those doors? 

I feel like the store owners would be really upset about the Killbots crashing through their front doors and shooting all their stuff. Probably more upset than they would be about the loss of life. 

Ever since Walter died, the only thing I can think of when I see the Killbots is “You are metal and triangular, like a R2, the strongest shape.” (Walter the Catt is “orange and triangular, like a 3D Dorito, the strongest shape.”)

Linda and Allison should punch Suzie in the face and then drag her along the vent. Or let her go alone. She’s going to get them all killed. 

Suzie, are you even trying? Why are you just lying there and screaming? Oh! Now that you’re on fire, you try to move! 

Allison is the only competent person in this whole movie. 

And they still give the gun back to Ferdy. 

Greg is not wrong. They should’ve kept Suzie in the air vent, even if they had to punch her in the face and drag her unconscious body. 

The reason y’all haven’t seen him is ‘cause he’s on the third level. If you go up there, he will zap you with laser bolts of head explosion. 

Y’all need to punch Greg in the face, the same way you should’ve punched Suzie. He’s going to get y’all killed. 

Nevermind. 

Are y’all forgetting the Killbots exploded the last door you barricaded? Also, you’ve seen them use the escalators; they’re going to go to the same one you are. 

Linda and Rick were smart. Until it was time to die. Then they became idiots. Bye, guys, I miss you having a brain cell. 

Now it’s Allison’s chance to be dumb. Why don’t they both have a gun? Or at least give one to the person who can shoot. 

Wait. The phones work. Mike answered one before he was killed by Killbot 1. So why didn’t they try to call for help? 

Why does this pet store only have spiders, snakes, and one barking dog? 

And one cat. Where did Kitty even come from? It looked like someone yeeted them from offscreen. 

Allison, what are you doing? When Ferdy died, did he take the brain cell with him? 

Killbot2 is going to roll out of the wreckage of the elevator any second now, I know it. Nevermind. Ferdy is the actually alive character. 

Actually pretty good, but I don’t think it lived up to the promise of the name.

#31 days 31 horror movies 2023 #chopping mall #happy halloween

[everyounceofhate]

Let’s Talk About my Stupid Cunt of a Roommate

Aimee is fucking terrible and the only joy I get from her existence is watching her struggle knowing she will go to an early fucking grave. I’m so glad in less than 48 hours I won’t have to deal with her self-pitying bullshit anymore.

I oscillate between this paranoid feeling that she isn’t as stupid as she makes herself out to be and that she’s weaponized her incompetence to manipulate the people around her, particularly me, or that she’s genuinely as fucking stupid as she makes herself out to be. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. For there to be an “average” intelligence baseline, there has to be a below average, and she’s it. 

I still can’t believe she managed to bullshit her way into a Master’s Degree, but let’s be honest: she has a Master’s in Art and she’s drawing fucking Neopets for a living, so it isn’t like she’s the cream of the crop. If anything that should be an inspiration for me to go back to school; if Aimee could get a Master’s, practically anyone can.

She can’t do the simplest of fucking tasks correctly. She can’t cook or clean without this sheen of sweat on her face from the effort of fucking standing up. She reminds me of the Witch of The Waste during that scene in Howl’s Moving Castle when she’s climbing the palace stairs, literally melting into a puddle of sweat and fat. 

Disgusting.

Out of the handful of times she’s cooked on the stove, one time she set off the fire alarm cooking bacon. She couldn’t figure out how to turn off the alarm, and she ruined one of my good pans. A nonstick copper pan! You know how hard it is to ruin a pan like that?! So I had to come in and save the day, as usual, since my bed is in the living room and connected to the kitchen, so I was choking on smoke. I also had to put my cat in her room and close the door so he wouldn’t get asthmatic from the smoke, or run out the front door when I left it open so the smoke could escape.

The other time, I asked her to make me a bowl of easy mac when I was sick. Super simple! You put it in the microwave! No, her dumbass tried to make a box of mac and cheese on the stove. Then tried to make me stir it because standing was hard. Then, when I couldn’t, because I was sick, she just left it to boil for a bit while her sweaty ass went to lay down--and she overcooked the noodles to a mush. How the fuck do you mess up mac and cheese?

No wonder she has to get McDonalds delivered to the house. Yeah--delivered. We live between 2 McDonalds that are both less than a mile from the house. She still has it delivered here. It’s so fucking disgusting. She waddles out of her her room with her hand jammed into her side, leaning at an angle like a deflating pool toy, to come get it, this empty smile on her face like she isn’t the most pitiful fucking human on the planet.

I stopped cooking for her and she immediately ordered delivery twice in one day. Then she had groceries delivered to the house. I should spit into her fucking coffee creamer. Just hock a giant fucking wad of snot into it.

I still remember the night before Wasteland when she broke the toilet and tried to blame it on the plumber and how he “used a bad part” like she would have had any fucking clue. Then I had to spend an hour with my hand jammed into a toilet tank trying to figure out how she fucking broke it. 

She is genuinely one of the most pitiful pieces of shit on the face of the planet. I can’t wait for her to move to Oregon and absolutely fail at living on her own again. I hope she has to move back to California in disgrace.

I wonder if Jake ever told her all the nasty shit he said about her to me. Like how she was spineless and how he stopped having sex with her because she was so unhygenic he thought she was disgusting. I’m sure that would put a pretty big damper on their “friendship.”

I hope her sciatica paralyzes her.

[christiansenferguson]

Camping-Outdoor Cooking: Fire Pit Vs Portable Outdoor Camping Stove

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#Hurricane IAN #Hurricane Stormed #Hurricane stormed damage #high wind Hurricane #roof damage

[crypticspacecat]

Stalker's Tango (Part III)

Ah, finally an end to this story! I will make an announcement later on concerning my future stories.

WARNING: THIS PIECE CONTAINS NONCON, IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE OR A MINOR, PLEASE DO NOT READ

Enjoy!

PART1

PART2

“I don’t understand, I would never do that!”

“We got an anonymous tip from one of the staff that they caught you stealing medicine. These are very serious allegations Ms. (L/N).”

“But they could be lying for all you know.”

“The person in question is one of our most trusted employees. They have no reason to lie, please turn in your staff card and keys. We will give you 72 hours to turn in the uniform.”

Just like that, (Y/N)’s world has crumbled. With no job and bills being due, she feels absolutely hopeless. She continues to sob on her couch when she hears a firm knock at her front door. She opens the door to see Rohan, who’s obviously worried by the way he tightly embraces her.

“You haven’t left the house in a week, everyone has been so worried.” He fusses, kissing her forehead.

“I’ve gotten fired over a bogus allegation, I have no clue how I’m going to live. No one is hiring right now, I just feel….” She trails off before sobbing in her partner’s chest.

“It’s gonna be ok, I promise. You can live with me and I’ll help you find another job.” He says, rubbing her back in comfort.

“R-really?”

“Of course, I love you. I hate seeing you like this and I want to help.”

“I love you too…” (Y/N) responds as her tears become ones of joy.

Josuke, who should’ve seen this coming, has reached a level of rage that he hasn’t reached since fighting Kira. In his delusional state, he was for sure she run into his arms. He now realizes that in order to save his wife, someone has to die.

The night sky is foggy with only half of the moon visible. (Y/N) and Rohan opted to stay in for the night, watching a scary movie while cuddling up under the blankets. The 1st victim of course is running without any real strategy, much to the mangaka’s amusement. As the jump scare comes up, as if it’s foreshadowing doom for the young couple, a firm knock is heard at the same time. A startled (Y/N) darts her eyes toward the front door while Rohan squeezes her hand in comfort.

“I’ll get it, it’s probably some kids fooling around.” He says as he’s walking to the front door. Even with the door slightly opening, he knew very well who decided to show up this late at night.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanna talk..”

“Talk? You know what, yeah, let’s talk.” Rohan sighs, closing the front door behind him. The two men walk down the street in silence until Josuke gathers the guts to speak up.

“You knew she was mine. You stole-”

“Stole? You've really gone off the deep end. She was never yours to begin with!” Rohan shouts, causing the two young men to have a staredown.

(Y/N) begins to worry about Rohan.

“He’s been gone for a while now.” She says to herself. After a few minutes of contemplation, she opts to go look for him. Going outside, she immediately senses danger. The fog is now thicker than ever and the wind begins to howl. (Y/N) braves the ominous wind and treks through the thickening fog. The only guide being the streetlights, she follows so that she won’t be in the middle of the road. She then hears footsteps, making her turn around to see nothing but the fog. She speeds walk, unsure if it's a neighbor or a criminal she hears. Nearing the end of the street, the fog gets thinner. (Y/N) sighs in relief, now not having to worry about where she’s exactly going. Continuing her trek, she hears her shoe step in something wet.

A rain puddle perhaps?

She slowly looks down, eyes widening in horror.

“Blood?” She whispers to herself. (Y/N) looks ahead, only to see more traces of blood along the sidewalk. She blindly follows the trail, not knowing where it’ll lead. The trail continues into a wooded area. Before she could even ponder whether to continue, the footsteps come again, sounding even closer. Before she could turn around to face the stranger, she feels a strong force colliding with her head, knocking her out cold.

Eyes slowly opening, (Y/N) looks around to see nothing but total darkness. She struggles to get up, as something heavy is weighing down on her arms.

‘Chains? What the hell is going on?’

The lights instantly turn on, almost blinding her. She sees Josuke in the doorway, she’s instantly puzzled. Her eyes dart around quickly to see she’s in some kind of basement. The floors are hard and cold while the walls look incredibly old and worn down.

“My love, you’re awake!”

“Josuke, what’s going on? Where’s Rohan?” (Y/N) questions, her breathing becoming shallow. She notices Josuke’s clothes having faded stains of blood, making her mouth dry, she's too stunned to speak.

“There’s no need to worry about him anymore, he won’t hurt you ever again.” He gleams, walking slowly towards her.

“Hurt?”

“It’s ok, it’s just you and me. Your husband is here now.” Josuke whispers, cupping her face and making her recoil at the touch. She starts to sob, mourning her lover.

“Husband? Look, I know you have a crush on me or whatever but you are going too far! You killed him, you fucking killed him! You’re not in your right mind, let me go now!” She screams through her tears. Josuke slowly frowns, showing grief in his eyes.

“He really broke you…”

“What? What are you-”

“He completely brainwashed you. My love, I’m sorry I didn’t take action sooner. I’ve would’ve gotten rid of him ages ago if I knew how bad this was. That bastard! I think I do know a way to break this spell.” He announces. Before (Y/N) can speak up, she almost screams in horror at Josuke unzipping his pants.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“It’s ok (Y/N). I know you’re scared now but this is for your own good.” Josuke says, summoning Crazy Diamond to pin her down. She attempts to thrash and get herself free to no avail. Josuke positions himself between her legs, member fully exposed. She sobs softly as he removes her skirt and underwear. He rubs her clit softly, forcing her arousal as he uses his other hand to finger her. (Y/N) closes her eyes, trying not to face the gaze of lust in the pompadoured man’s eyes. The tears continue as she feels herself getting wetter by the second. Josuke then leans in, his hot breath on her neck making her shiver in fear.

“I’ll make sure you feel good.” He whispers as he’s leaving marks on her neck. Trying to hold back moans, (Y/N) gives pleading looks to Josuke, all ignored. She then yelps at the sudden stretch she feels at her core. He caresses her cheek, attempting to comfort her as he’s aggressively thrusting into her.

“Shh, it’s ok baby. You’ll love this I promise.” He says as his thrusts become faster, making (Y/N) moan involuntarily. She closes her eyes, wishing she was still at home with Rohan, watching movies and cuddling. Her thoughts are quickly interrupted by a warm liquid filling her up, rendering her speechless. Josuke embraces (Y/N), still being inside her. She sobs once more, knowing there’s no going back from this.

#yandere josuke #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #josuke x reader #josuke x y/n #tw noncon

[its-deputy-caleb]

Reaction from the lords (and miranda if you want) when they found out ​that s/o has the power of fire. but not a normal one but the hoarse blue on

Ahh this was super cute to write, firstly i’m sorry that i didn’t do miranda i have just been having a really rough patch and her character is hard to write for me personally so i apologise but i love these requests with a s/o that has some kind of powers! i hope everyone can enjoy <3

Alcina Dimitrescu

When Alcina discovered you have the gift of fire, she was not amused to find you burnt her fine quality curtains. Not that any of it was your fault, really you just waved your hand at Bela at the other end of the hall and the window went up in flames.

Once you got a hang of your powers though, it became a delight around the castle. The oil lamps in rooms were replaced by a warm blue glow which matched beautifully with the golden inlay of the walls.

One thing that you’d noticed about Alcina that being somewhat of a vampire, her skin was always very cold no matter how warm the room was and so you often found yourself with your hands on her face. She always leaned into your touch as your thumbs brushed her cheeks.

You let warmth leave your palm, a soft heat radiating from them as you gently held her face. Alcina loved your power because in a cheesy and cliche kind of way, you made her heart melt. She’d never been one for romantics but you had a certain affect on her.

You didn’t always use your powers to redecorate the Castle however, there were certainly times when it came in handy to protect you and your family. Many times you’d flame down the creatures that lingered in the cellars if they got too close to Alcina’s daughters and you never hesitated to leave a ring of fire around the Castle to fend off any unwanted guests.

They were your family after all, and you’d do everything in your power to protect the ones you love.

Donna Beneviento

Donna is so captured by your powers and your heart always skips a beat when she asks you to show her, watching as the blue flame is reflected in her beautiful doe eyes. Her face lights always lights up in the brightest smile.

An afternoon favourite of yours is to sit on the couch with Donna wrapped in your arms, her head resting on your chest as your fingers run gently through her hair. Often at times Donna will fall asleep (which you’ll never admit is the cutest thing seeing her sleep) but the house is always freezing so high in the mountains.

With a flick of your wrist, the fireplace springs to life and a soft blue colour fills the room. Naturally you could’ve used a blanket but you didn’t want to move and wake her and you also took every opportunity to use your powers.

You and Donna love to play hide and seek with Angie around the Estate, but the mischievous Angie insists that the lights get turned off as you search for her. With one hand in Donna’s, the other rests open palmed in front of you, acting as a lantern while you run down dark corridors. That and it also acted as a heat source in some of the more questionable and damp rooms.

Early mornings are often spent outside on the porch to watch the sunrise bounce off the waterfall, it was quite a spectacular view. One morning Donna had a mug of tea in her hand, long gone cold since it snowed almost all year round.

You bring your hands to the mug and warm it with your palms, making sure Donna can keep her own hands warm. Soon the tea is steaming again and she takes a tentative sip, humming in delight at the sweet taste. She tucks her head under yours as you bring her in close before returning your gaze to the waterfall.

Salvatore Moreau

At first Salvatore was almost afraid of your power, seeing that he was much more comfortable in an aquatic environment but he slowly learnt that you’d never hurt him with your power.

You loved taking trips around the reservoir together, camping out under the stars as you roast all sorts of sweets that you bought from the Duke. You’d both share marshmallows and chocolates and other goodies as you learnt Sal had a sweet tooth to counteract his love of savoury cheeses.

On really cold mornings, you both wake up early to go and find the freshly fallen snow. You use your fire power to melt it, leaving large puddles of water that he could swim in. One thing you noticed was the way your heart fluttered when he smiled at the water you could create.

Salvatore learnt that he was particularly fond of warm water and so the two of you found a sanctuary up above the reservoir that held a deep pool of water.

You knelt down and placed your palm on the rocks and let them heat slowly, a warm steam entering the atmosphere. The water was by no means hot but just warm enough to be enjoyable in these harsh winters. Sal absolutely loved the spring you made and although you tended to avoid water for obvious reasons, you let your legs dangle in the warm water while he either swarm around or had his head rested on your knee.

Karl Heisenberg

The minute Karl sees fire leave your palm his eyes light up like a kid on Christmas. He couldn’t be more excited to have someone like him, and it brought you two closer together.

Having the power of fire meant that you jumped straight in to helping around the factory with him. The two of you would weld metal together for hours. First you’d melt it all down and then he’d weld it all back to form magnificent weapons of which you’d both plan to use on Miranda.

Sometimes if he needed to weld two pieces together you’d simply point your index finger with a small searing hot blue flame while he held them together. You never missed the way he smiled at the end of it like he was the luckiest man alive.

You both loved going out and causing mischief all over the village. The two of you would spend hours searching through caves and hidden undiscovered pockets that had all the monsters that you could wreak havoc on. You’d often dare each other on how many lycans and Samcă you could kill. Naturally a Vârcolac was worth extra points and the winner got a weeks worth of bragging rights and a reward from the Duke all paid for by the loser.

Your gift was extremely powerful and Karl admired you for that immensely, knowing that you’re just as powerful as him, if not more. Not only that but he’s never felt loved than when you promised that you’d be by his side when he took Miranda down and that you’d protect him during the battle.

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #donna beneviento #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau #salvatore moreau x reader #resident evil village #resident evil headcanons #resident evil 8 #resident evil #asks #prompt

[girl-next-door-writes]

Fine Lines between Fantasy and Reality

Characters: Mycroft Holmes x reader

Summary: Mycroft has to track down the mystery woman from Valentines Day and convince her to accompany him and his parents to the theatre. Will it be a success or a catalogue of disasters?

Word Count: 1854 words

Prompt: “Look out! It’s icy!”

This was definitely not what he should be doing with his time and resources. There were several fires which needed putting out, several issues needing his attention, and yet Mycroft sat in his office, laptop open on the desk in front of him, tracking the cctv from Valentines Day.

His heart had given a little jump in his chest when he had spotted you accompanying him out of the restaurant. Not exactly the reaction he wanted; it would do no good for sentiment to be involved in this already awkward situation. Following your form getting into the cab, he then tracked the vehicle to an address he could only presume was yours. From there, he found your name, occupation, financial status… well, from that single act of snooping he snagged himself the keys to your entire existence.

Mycroft felt unnerved scanning through your details. This was far less pleasant than listening to your sweet voice volunteering such insights, trusting him enough to share yourself with him. Closing the file with an air of frustration, he picked up the post-it note, which held your personal mobile number. For a moment, he considered texting you, but part of him felt an ache to see you once again, not on a screen or in a memory, but actually sitting across from him. He had your mobile number; it would not be difficult to track your movements and hopefully reveal an opening for him to slip back into your life as if serendipitously.

The rain beat down against the pavement, splattering across windows and turning the world a strange greyscale. The small bell above the door tinkled as he entered the tiny café in the park, quickly shaking off his umbrella as his eyes scanned the room.

You were sat at a table in the corner, your concentration on your phone, appearing to be reading. He took a moment to just look at you, not analyze or deduce, simply to admire. You looked far more comfortable in today’s outfit choice, much more cozy and yourself. It would seem you had escaped the weather, your coat dry as it hung from the chair behind you. Mycroft ordered himself a tea and navigated his way through the people and precarious puddles of the café.

“Mind if I join you?” He asked, nerves cascading around his stomach.

“Oh!” Your eyes flashed with recognition before you gave him a slight smile. “I was beginning to wonder if you were real. I know you are definitely not Alexander, I arrived home to a deluge of messages from my friend apologizing for him not showing up. So, Not Alexander, do you make a habit of dining with other people’s blind dates?”

Mycroft sat in the vacant chair opposite you and placed his drink on the table, his cheeks heating up in a rather uncharacteristic manner. “I do not, however, when a beautiful woman sits down at my table and immediately launches into an apology for being late, it is rather difficult to explain that I am not the dining companion she had been expecting.”

“Ah, so this was entirely my fault?” You teased, and his heart raced as he took in the glint in your eye.

“Not at all. I would not attribute ‘blame’, I would simply say it was a fortuitous mishap.” Extending his hand, he gave you a genuine smile. “Mycroft Holmes, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

You gave him your name, although he already knew it, and the conversation flowed as easily as it had done that fateful evening. He was so caught up in the interaction that he completely forgot the purpose of tracking you down. That was until you noticed the time and said you really had to go.

“Before you do, may I ask a favour? You see, my parents are in the city at the moment, and I may have mentioned that I did not spend Valentines alone.” He winced slightly at the memory, feeling incredibly awkward.

“Ah, so to get your parents off your back you bent the truth a little? You need a fake girlfriend for some event?”

“Something like that.” He frowned. Mycroft liked how astute you were, but the word ‘fake’ had rankled him a little.

“When, where, and what backstory do you need me to know. Also, do they have to like me or hate me?” You stood up, already putting on your coat.

“Tomorrow evening, we have tickets to see Wicked, and I would rather you just be yourself and they can form whatever opinion they want.” Mycroft already knew his mother would either adore you or pick fault, hopefully the former.

“Okay, Mycroft. It’s a date.” You took an old receipt out of your bag and scrawled your number on it. “Let me know the details and I will see you there.” And with a smile, you left a very confused but elated Mycroft with his cold tea.

Mycroft had insisted on picking you up, his excuse being that the two of you could go over your story once again in the car, but really, he just could not wait to see you. As you sat in the back seat, he watched you smooth your skirt down and smiled to himself. You were nervous. Was that due to him or his parents? He couldn’t be certain, but if you wished to make a good first impression on his parents then that must mean this was a little bit real, didn’t it?

The car pulled up outside the theatre and Mycroft quickly got out, jogging round to open your door, offering his hand to help you out, unaware that his parents were already waiting on the steps of the theatre, watching his arrival with knowing smiles.

“Don’t embarrass the boy, he might never introduce another girl to us if you do.” His father muttered, but his wife had already moved to greet their son.

“Mykie!” She called, arms open wide as she expected a hug. Mycroft bristled at the nickname and acquiesced to the silent demand, stiffly hugging her before stepping back and extending his hand to you.

“Mummy, this is…” But he didn’t manage to actually get your name out before his mother had pulled you into a rough hug.

“It is so lovely to finally meet you! Mykie has been telling us so much about you, dear.”

“Mycroft is the name you gave me, if you could possibly struggle all the way to the end of it…”

“Hello, my boy. Best not get in the way of this one, not if you’re hoping your young lady will last the evening without having to rush off for some ‘family emergency’.” His father sighed, watching the Holmes matriarch hook your arm through hers and lead you into the theatre.

If Mycroft had believed a theatre trip provided less opportunity for his mother to grill you then he was proved drastically mistaken. The lights had barely flickered to life at the interval before his mother was up, dragging you with her to the ladies room. He could only guess what was being discussed, how you were holding up, if you hadn’t taken the chance to run! His father handed him another glass of wine and patted his shoulder.

“Well, I’d say she likes her. That’s a double-edged sword, of course, but I think you’ve got yourself a good one there.”

Mycroft couldn’t help but nod in agreement, you were amazing, and he wished this wasn’t just some role you were playing, that you were actually his partner.

He had already provided an excuse as to why the pair of you needed to dash after the performance, and he was thankful he had, because it appeared that his mother had no intention of letting you go easily.

“Next time we are in the city we should go for lunch.” Mother Holmes was saying, holding your hands in hers as her husband attempted to steer her towards their waiting car.

“Absolutely. We can do some shopping without the men folk around too.” You beamed, giving her hands a squeeze before slipping from her grip, leaning back against Mycroft. It was a gesture that caused a bashful smile to dance on his lips, not that you noticed, you were too caught up in his mother’s goodbyes.

Once in the safety of the car, he turned to you with a look of apprehension. “I am so sorry for…”

“Your parents are adorable!” You blurted out, grinning at him. “Honestly, thank you so much for tonight, I had so much fun. Your father is hilarious, and your mother is so unbelievably clever, I can see where you get it from now. I hope I haven’t made your real girlfriends job too difficult.”

“Real girlfriend?” Mycroft’s brow furrowed.

“Yeah, the girl you’ve been telling your mother about. I am guessing you needed a stand in because she’s not the kind of girl who thinks ‘Wicked’ with your parents is a fun night out.” You had shrugged and Mycroft felt his heart crack. How could you believe for a single second that he would use you like that?

The rest of the car ride to your home was silent, his mind running a million miles a minute, trying to find the words, the right way to convey what he was feeling. Not that he knew how he was actually feeling.

All too soon, the car came to a halt and you had opened the door, already half out before you turned to smile at him, bidding him ‘goodnight’.

He couldn’t just let you go, not like this. Throwing his own car door open, Mycroft jumped out and jogged around to where you were standing with every intention of telling you that there was no other woman, that he wanted you to be The Woman, his woman.

“Look out! It’s icy!” you called, but too late. Time seemed to slow, and he tried to keep his balance, he really did. The patch of black ice sent him scrambling in a manner most ungraceful until he landed, rather hard, on his coccyx. “Oh, my goodness, are you okay?”

“I fear I may be a little bruised, but I shall be just fine.” He managed to say through gritted teeth as you helped him to his feet. “My intention was to walk you to your door.”

“It’s okay. I’m a big girl, can walk myself. You get in your car and get home for a long soak in the bath. I don’t want your mother to get cross with me for you being injured.” You teased and Mycroft felt a warmth in his chest. “Go on, Holmes, before you fall.”

The problem was, he already had. Aside from the physical fall, which he would replay in his nightmares, he had fallen even harder for the beautiful, funny, smart, amazing woman who believed their interactions were filled with subterfuge and fakery. As he watched you open your door, disappearing inside your home, he felt a weight press down heavy on his heart. Twice now he’d let his moment slip away.

#Mycroft Holmes #Mycroft Holmes x reader #something i wrote

[vannybarber]

The Prenup

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part Two Part Three Part Four Final Chapter

Scrounging through the little desk in the corner of Chris and you's bedroom, you hear him let out a boisterous laugh.

He was watching some movie and there was a certain part that he found so hilarious. After 4 years of watching it with him constantly, you still don't get what's so funny. But it makes him happy so that's what matters.

You were searching for the wine opener so Scott could get his middle-aged-4-kids-divorcee vibe on. You cleaned the other day and stuck it in there after a nightly dose of freakydeaky from Chris, which consisted of wine, whipped cream, and a many different forms of chocolate.

After what seemed like forever, you find the corkscrew and grin at your accomplishment. You take one more look in the drawer out of habit and you spot a big orange envelope with Chris' name on it. Being the nosy curious person you are, you take the envelope out and get a good look at it. You see the words Prenuptial Agreement in bold and your heart drops.

Chris had proposed to you 9 months ago and you were happy beyond words. After being together for 4 years, he finally put away his commitment troubles and made you his fianceé. And now you find out he's going to get you to sign a prenup. A fucking prenup.

You look around the room at loss for words. You were angry, hurt and confused. After 4 years of being together, he doesn't have faith in his own judgment that you guys would be together forever? You both have been through literally everything. There isn't one thing you don't know about each other. Your relationship was rare and it was special.

After moments of contemplation, you decide you would confront him on it. There's no way you could carry on the night and sleep after this. Not until you get your answers. Closing the drawer, you take a sharp breath and exhale before walking out the room. You get back to the dining table where Lisa and his siblings surrounded.

"Here you go Scott" you say slamming the corkscrew on the table in front of him. He looks up at you, puzzled. You glance at him then at Chris and he's looking at you just the same. Evidently your tone matched your movements because everyone went silent. You draw back and put both hands behind your back and huff.

"Babe, are you alright?" It was Christopher talking to you now. Your attention goes to him and your lips are in a thin line. Refraining from blowing up at him, you force smile on your face and change your tone of voice.

"What do you mean, honey? I'm fine." You should leave the acting to Chris honestly. That's definitely not your field of expertise. Shifting on your right foot, you stare at him. He shuffles and tilts his head with a knowing look.

"Spill it Y/N. What's up?"

"The flames when I burn this damn house down." So much for not blowing up. You snatch the envelope in front of you and chuck it on the table. Everyone watches the exchange and the envelope fly to the table. All their faces change from confusion to shock and even more confusion.

Chris didn't even need to look down to know it was the prenup. His eyes went from you to the wall. Guilt written all over it, you almost wish you gave a shit. You wonder how long he was going to keep this hidden from you. No need to wonder now.

"You want to explain to me why you have a prenup?" You place your hand on your hip and roll your neck at him.

"I got that for us."

You swear to everything you wanted to lunge at him right then and there. 'I got that for us'. Why do people always use that excuse for everything? They weren't thinking about you, just themselves and expected you to go along with it.

"You got it for us? I know you didn't do this on your own. Who put you up to it?" You look around the room. Scott has his hands up shaking his head. Carly and Shanna both let out a quiet "not me". You look at Lisa who had this look of hurt.

"Chris, you tell me everything. How did I not know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" Well now you know she didn't suggest it. You feel slightly guilty for letting it cross your mind, but you had your reasons.

"Ma, I had my reasons. I kept it hidden because I didn't know how I felt about it myself" he says rubbing his face and fixing his hair under his cap. Still didn't answer your question.

"Christopher, who put you up to this? Tell me now!" You're getting fired up by the minute. You have an idea who it could be too.

"Megan. She thought that it would be smart to consider. Just to protect me."

"Megan." Your voice is laced with absolute venom. "You know Chris, she does a good job keeping you out of trouble and bullshit so you're not all over the tabloids, but sometimes, her ass is too much!"

Chris is never in the news for anything negative. He's always minding his business and moving quietly. Megan is a great publicist, but she can be pretty overbearing about his personal life. She gave you side eye for like the entire first year of you guys' relationship.

"Baby, she was just looking out for me. You know how it is, women getting with you for your money. Guys loose half of everything they have when getting divorces."

You can't even believe it.

"I am not 'women'. I'm your fianceé. We've been together 4 years, Chris! After all this time your material things come before me?" Tears are puddled at your eyes now and your voice is cracking. This catches his attention.

"I told you from the start Chris, that I never cared about your money! Never have and never will. I am used to not having much. I'm not money hungry or concerned for having top tier everything. I've learned to settle."

"Y/N, I didn't mea-" you slam your hand on the table, making everyone jump. Chris shuts his mouth.

"I'm. Not. Finished. I am not marrying your bank account. I'm not marrying your cars. I'm not marrying your house. I don't give a damn about any of that shit. And you literally are still concerned about all of that?" Your face is wet and your nose is runny. You wipe your nose and cross your arms.

"It's not even like that!" Now he's getting upset. For literally nothing. This is his fault. "It's just in case it doesn't work out, we don't need to deal with all the extra mess."

That completely shattered you. In case it doesn't work out. He actually has thoughts that your marriage couldn't work. What would even cause that? You guys don't even argue. You don't even remember the last time you did. You've learned to understand what each other needs and mastered that. What is he on about?

"You know what the sad part is? Us not working out crossed my mind in, like, the first year of our relationship. And I decided that if we did get married, and God forbid we divorced, I wouldn't take anything from you."

He looked at you like he just found out he wasn't the father of your baby.

"Yeah, Chris. That's your money. You made it, not me, so why would I ask for any of it from you? You gave me an amazing relationship and thats enough for me."

"Oh my goodness." Everyone directs their attention to Scott. "So you wouldn't want anything from the divorce?"

"Of course not! I came in this relationship for him. Plus a make my own money. I don't need anyone else's."

You had your own business. Many employees at different buildings in Boston. You didn't have much growing up and you were proud of yourself for not having to worry about financial issues. Chris liked that you had your own thing going and didn't have to adapt to his life and depend on him financially. And he still got a prenup.

Feeling like you were gonna cry again, you rub your temples and take deep breaths to prevent it. But you failed and started crying more. Chris got up and moved to stand in front of you.

"Baby, I'm sorry I upset you. I thought you would be okay with this. Like you said, you don't care about my money so what's wrong with the prenup?" His hands were on your sides, but not for long as you shook them off of you.

"What's wrong with it? What this is telling me is three things. You have doubt that our marriage won't work out, you think I might change my mind and ask for alimony, and that your money comes before me."

"I..." he struggles to form words. You take this chance to get out of there.

"I really don't want to be here right now." Chris looks up and grabs your arm.

"Babe, you don't need to go. Where the hell are you gonna go?" You turn and grab the envelope from the table. You open it and pull the papers out, shoving it in his face.

"I'll go to a hotel or something, but I'm not staying here if this is the shit you're trying to pull with me." You turn the paper to you and look in disgust. You scan over it and your eyes fall on the dotted line where you need to sign. Beside it is where he needed to sign his.

Well not anymore.

You read over his signature on the line. Chris Evans.

He signed the prenup already. Now he was just waiting for your signature. He really was leaving you zero choice.

"You signed it already??" Everyone at the table head snapped up. Shanna gasped and covered her mouth. Lisa mumbles an "oh no" under her breath.

"So you were just going to bring it to me and expect me to sign it with no fight, huh?"

Chris says nothing, but his face is red. You don't wait for a response and walk to your shoes and your bag. Already having everything in there, you slip your shoes on and walk back to Chris.

"Just a heads up, you brought this on yourself."

You whip around and walk to the fireplace. You chuck the papers and envelope in the blaze and turn back to him.

"You can forget about that damn prenup, cause I'm not signing it. As a matter a fact, you don't even have to worry about that because there won't be a chance of us divorcing." You force a smile and clasp your hands together. Lisa and Scott rise from the table panicking.

"Babe, no-"

"Forget the wedding, this engagement and all of it. You can take this fucking ring too." You pry the ring off your fingers and throw it at him. It hits his chest and falls at his feet.

"I'm not marrying you."

You turn on your heel, grab your purse and jacket, walking out the door, leaving the Evans' speechless.

Was this too dramatic? I have my own opinions on a prenup, but maybe it's not as big as it seems? Idk🥴.

masterlist

#cevans #chris evans #avengers #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #andy barber smut #steve rogers smut #captain america #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

ice lolly, m | ksj

pairing(s): seokjin x reader

summary: You (accidentally?) deep throat a popsicle in front of Min Yoongi. It's not what it looks like! Well, it kinda is, but you have a good reason! You just want to give your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin, a mind-blowing blowjob and you read some stuff online and, uh... okay, that still doesn't sound like a good reason, but I swear it is.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; featuring seagull-BTS LOL; crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m-receiving oral); ft Min Yoongi witnessing your, um, attempt XD; my tongue technology strikes again, maybe you'll learn something?

this is inspired by your hapless adventures, cat whiskers. you told me not to do it, but I'm a brat and I did it anyway LMAO get rekt

--

So.

You read this thing online.

What if you just...

"What are you doing?"

You started with a shriek, jamming the entire ice lolly right into the back of your throat, instantly choking and yanking it out of your mouth, only for it to be flung off the wooden stick and fly across the sidewalk, leaving a long, ice-blue streak of melting sugar syrup ending with a demolished hunk of discarded popsicle.

A seagull immediately appeared to peck at it.

You gawked, still clutching the wooden stick, Min Yoongi standing beside the bench you were sitting on.

"Why did you try to deep throat your popsicle?"

A second seagull arrived to peck at the icy hunk of sugar water.

Your mouth was still open, mechanically jerking to face him with fire-red cheeks, and it wasn’t because of the bright sunny weather. He looked very much like a disgruntled cat with his expression, black eyebrow raised, dark brown eyes narrowed, pink lips slightly pursed. Yoongi squinted disapprovingly from under his wide-brimmed straw hat. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt under a white t-shirt, breezy black trousers, and sandals.

Yoongi hated the sun.

A third seagull flapped down onto the boardwalk and joined the other two to poke at the rapidly melting mess on the ground.

"Um..."

He raised a hand dismissively, eyes flicking away from you. "On second thought, don't tell me. I don't want to know." Yoongi jammed his black clutch under his armpit and ripped open his own cold sweet treat, turning away from you to face the ocean.

A fourth seagull flocked over to peck one of them in the head and assist in devouring the ice pop.

"Hey, hyung, what flavor did you get?" a smooth baritone voice piped, appearing in an aqua-and-pink colorful shirt and brown shorts with snazzy sunglasses and tan skin.

You were staring at the four seagulls eating your ice lolly with glee, somewhat frozen yourself, feeling a mixture of jealous, mortified, and absolutely ready to chuck yourself into the ocean if Yoongi said anything to out you to Kim Taehyung right now.

"I don't know. I told them to pick one at random," the straw hat replied.

A fifth seagull appeared, slightly smaller than the rest, poking one in the neck and squawking before trying to prod at the puddle of blue syrup with a small chunk of ice in it.

"I got strawberry," Taehyung replied.

Two more seagulls swooped down, pushing the other five all around. All of them were now pecking at the ice-blue sugar syrup, honking and squawking. Like laughter. One of the seagulls had a weird cry, like a cloth rubbed onto wet glass.

Or a windshield wiper on a car window.

"Disgusting."

You narrowed your eyes at the seven seagulls.

We they... laughing at you?

"Strawberry-flavored things are the worst."

You jumped as someone sat down next to you, ripping open a paper package. He was wearing a short-sleeved pale pink dress shirt with a flashy tie and long blue shorts. A familiar someone dressed like this. He placed his backpack down next to you, smiling brilliantly. Full lips, sparkling brown eyes, milk chocolate-colored locks framing his handsome face.

Your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin.

"S-Seokjin!"

He grinned and leaned in, kissing you lightly. Then he became flustered and laughed awkwardly, a little squeaky, almost like a windshield wiper on a car window.

"Hah, sorry, you looked really cute just now."

You blinked rapidly.

Do you tell your boyfriend that you tried to deep throat your ice lolly in attempt to see if you could extend your tongue around the bottom because you read on a certain-website-not-to-be-named that it might be possible to suck dick and lick balls at the same time and you were determined to learn so you could perform said act?

And do you tell Seokjin that Min Yoongi caught you in the middle of it?

Er…

Seokjin cheerfully licked at his lemon ice pop, oblivious to your inner struggle.

"Where's yours? I thought you got one too?"

The seven seagulls cackled. You glared at them, ready to fight.

"Hyung."

Never mind, you paled to the color of rice paper as the deep voice with a little rasp to it appeared beside Seokjin, straw hat and all. You wished you could merge with your pastel floral summer dress and float off with the sea breeze, straight into the ocean after seeing the deadpan expression of Min Yoongi holding a mint green popsicle.

He looked bored, but his eyes were mocking you.

Asshole.

"She dropped it by accident."

"Ah, really?" Seokjin frowned, nudging you with his hand. "Here, have some of mine. I'll share with you." He wrapped his arm around you and patted your shoulder fondly, holding his ice lolly out to you. You felt your heart skip a little at his kindness and closeness.

Yoongi smirked behind Seokjin's head.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

The seven seagulls flapped off, flying above five guys standing near you three, eating icy sweet treats together on the boardwalk this sunny day, enjoying this nice retreat to the sea. A lone seagull popped out from behind a trashcan, trotting over, eyeing the wet spot of sugar syrup soaked into asphalt.

It slunk away in a back corner, dejected that there was nothing left.

"Come on, hurry before it melts."

You nibbled off a chunk. Mmm. Cold, lemony, and delicious. You smiled at Seokjin gratefully and he smiled back, warm and inviting, his cheeks puffing a little like the edges of raised bread. A little sheepish at the public display of affection, but unable to help it when he was with you.

"You might as well stick the whole thing in your mouth," Yoongi said off-handedly, walking away to the group of five guys, leaving you choking on the bench again as Seokjin rubbed your back soothingly, worriedly asking you what was wrong.

-

"YOU TRIED TO DEEP THROAT A POPSICLE?"

"Seokjinnie–"

"IN FRONT OF YOONGI?"

"Erm, it's not what it sounds like–"

"YOONGI???????"

“I swear it’s not what It sounds like!”

Seokjin yanked the towel off his head, half-dried brown hair sticking up every which way, gawping at you with a slack jaw and shocked brown eyes. He was wearing his emerald green silk pajamas, fresh after a nice shower from the hot day. You too, wore a set of pajamas, a matching outfit with Seokjin.

“It’s not what it sounds like?” he sputtered, flabbergasted, partly flabbered but mostly aghast.

You opened your mouth and closed it. Then you opened it again.

“Okay, it is what it sounds like, but–!”

Why did you bring this up now? Well, your boyfriend was asking you if you wanted to take some medicine and sleep early because you said you weren’t feeling well at dinner. He was a sweet bean and wanted the best for you, and the truth came out in mid-discussion. Seokjin and you had left earlier than everyone else, declining the scenic walk home, mostly because you could no longer stand Yoongi making snide remarks that meant nothing to anyone else except you.

“You might need a bit more force to suck up that thick milkshake. Or wait for it to melt.”

“That’s a pretty big piece of steak. Maybe you should cut it a bit smaller, so you don’t choke.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay for dessert? We could stop by the store and get you an ice lolly on our way home.”

You glared at him all evening.

Yoongi just smirked when Seokjin wasn’t looking.

Asshole.

“Why would you do that in public?” Seokjin was saying, yanking you back to reality and out of your daydreams of socking that smug little shit in the face. “Why would you do that at all?”

“G-Gah, it… it just… just occurred to me…”

“It occurred to you to suck an ice lolly like a dick?”

Seokjin looked as if he was going to pass out and divorce you at the same time and you weren’t even married yet.

“Why, because you’re going to suck frozen dick at some point in your life? Because my dick isn’t ever at subzero temperatures, so unless you’re sucking Mr. Freeze or Subzero’s dick–”

You waved your arms in a panicky manner, flapping your sleeves like a fucking seagull. “No, no, no, I read something online–”

“Oh, you read something online!” he exclaimed, wiggling in place, and now it sure as hell sounded like Kim Seokjin was mocking you while also being disappointed in you and if that wasn’t the most big dad energy you weren’t sure what was. “Yes, because that totally means you should perform fellatio on an ice pop in front of Yoongi of all fucking people! Are you trying to get bronchitis or something–”

“I admit it was a mistake!”

“A miss-take! It was a terrible take! Cut! Refilm! Actually, no, because maybe don’t try to give a blowjob to a fucking popsicle at the boardwalk in broad daylight!”

You smacked Seokjin in the chest and he looked highly offended, finally shutting up for one goddamn second so you could (poorly) explain your logic behind the incident.

“Look, Yoongi was not supposed to be there. At all. I got mine first and you all were deciding and arguing, so I decided to sit down and eat it, but then I noticed it was a specific length–”

Seokjin’s eyebrows rose so high they nearly left his face.

You prodded him in the pecs and he winced, pouting at you.

“So, I tried to put it in my mouth, but then Yoongi showed up and fucking spooked me and I jabbed myself in the throat because I was surprised and ended up rocket-launching my ice lolly across the sidewalk and then these fucking seagulls showed up, those bastards–”

“None of this explains why you tried to do it in the first place.”

“Uh…”

Your eyes shifted awkwardly.

Seokjin impatiently tapped his naked wrist that had no watch on it.

“I read it… in an online smut story I was reading…”

You perfectly handsome boyfriend might actually get a wrinkle if he continued to raise his eyebrows to the fucking moon. “You do what?”

You poked your index fingers together, biting your lip. “Because… I’m not very good at it… so I was thinking maybe I could learn some tips or something…”

“What?”

Now his voice was soft, immediately dropping the act and his anger. You saw him reach out and place his hand over yours, wrapping his fingers around tightly, tugging. You looked up and he tilted his head, brow knitted in worry.

“Hey,” Seokjin frowned, full lower lip sticking out. “What do you mean, you’re not good at it? You are. I like everything you do.”

You chewed on your lip anxiously. “But… but…” It was a stupid thought and, honestly, not that big of a deal, but it had been eating away at you for a while, so you just winced and let it out.

“You never finish with my mouth.”

Rapid blinking was his response. His eyebrows disappeared under his brown hair again.

“And it bothers me. You always finish with your hand into my mouth, but I can’t seem to do it by myself.”

Seokjin’s lips parted, looking apologetic. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

You wrung your hands, loosening his grip on you. “I don’t know, it seems weird to say in the moment and it’s embarrassing… I thought maybe I wasn’t good enough…”

“No, no,” he said gently, holding your shoulders and shaking his head. “I...” His ears turned bright red and he swallowed. “I just like… seeing it shoot out into your mouth.” He coughed awkwardly, squeezing your shoulders. “It’s, er, nice, watching my cum drip onto your tongue and lips…” Seokjin cleared his throat and smiled, cheeks puffing out, looking a bit like the sides of freshly baked bread. “I didn’t realize my selfishness was making you feel inadequate. That’s not it at all. I only wanted to make it easier on you, and, cough, it’s kind of hot…”

“O… oh.”

He patted your shoulder fondly. “It’s only a misunderstanding. We can do whatever you want next time, okay? I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I will do better.”

You nodded and smiled, feeling much more relieved about the whole thing. Seokjin always had the ability to help you let things go, and it always made you feel a little lighter. It was part of the past now and you wouldn’t be bothered if Yoongi teased you any longer, because you had the best boyfriend in the whole world. There was no need to feel embarrassed.

You wrapped your arms around Seokjin and gave him a big, fierce hug.

Only to be impaled in the lower stomach.

“Ow!”

“Ack!”

You jerked back, whipping your head down.

“No, no, no, stop! Stop looking!”

“Why are you hard?!”

Seokjin waved his arms and abruptly flapped his hands down on his massive tent. “We were talking about blowjobs! And you! What do you think is going to happen?” he spluttered, the red creeping from his ears to his cheeks now, matching the exact shades used on merchandise during Christmas time with emerald green pajamas and a red face.

You gawked at him and he gawked back.

Wait.

“This is a perfect chance!”

“No, no, no, it is not, cease and desist, woman! Everyone is coming back soo–Gah!”

There was flurry of movement and Seokjin’s pajama pants were flung off, along with his shirt, and you were pushing him down onto the bed, him panicking the entire time, but he couldn’t have been that mad about it, because he was helping you by backing up, yelping as you hooked your fingers over the waistband of his underwear and yanked down, freeing his erection that nearly slapped you in the face.

“You trying to take out my eyeball?” you teased, grinning.

“You assaulting me and you’re upset that I’m fighting back?” Seokjin retorted, trying to hide his smile and be serious, but he was terrible at that and so were you, both of you grinning like a pair of idiots.

Well, you were certainly a little bit of an idiot for trying to deep throat a – you’re right, we’ll let it go (for now).

“I learned some things,” you said excitedly, forcing his legs open abruptly and making him squeak.

“Things? Ack!”

You leaned down and lifted his hard length up delicately, licking a fat stripe from base to tip, sighing softly as you came into contact with the velvety skin and his clean scent, Seokjin gasping above you, but suddenly this was not about him, this was about the cock in front of you and all the information you had complied to this point, ready to apply your learning. You wrapped your lips around the head, swiping your tongue on the underside, and Seokjin groaned, hips twitching but you grabbed them and pressed them firmly to the bed, shooting him a glare.

“Don’t interrupt me,” you growled around his dick.

He gave you a helpless frown. “Hello, I’m still attached to this di–”

You stared at him and slid your tongue out from your lips, swirling it around his girth, pressing the sensitive tip around the contours of your mouth, his eyes widening as he witnessed spit dripping from the wet muscle.

“O… oh…”

You let your eyes drift over his form, slowly, slowly, savoring the lines of his body, broad shoulders, shapely collarbones, the curve downwards to his trim waist, all the while taking him your mouth, tongue and lips soft and mouth tight, breathing deeply, eyes flickering up to his face and his expanding pupils, watching you with awe.

“Holy shit… and you’re not even naked… o-oh, fuck…”

You cocked an eyebrow, probably looking much more confident than you actually felt, but that didn’t matter. Fake it till you make it, right? And besides, every protagonist in every story has a moment of letting go and having courage and this was your moment, inorganic or not, flexing your tongue against Seokjin’s ever stiffening length, his breathing turning into wispy moans, watching you poised over him with his dick in your mouth, still wearing the silk pajamas and yet.

He watched you with amazement, love and lust in his brown orbs.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Your ears burned hot and you tried not to choke on his dick in embarrassment.

Don’t ruin the moment!

Somehow you managed not to freak out and pressed your lips to the base of his cock, hitting his crotch, the uncomfortable feeling of too full expanding your throat, the head practically plugging your airway, but one glance at Seokjin and the suffocation was worth it, seeing him tip his head back, messy brown hair sliding past his forehead, groaning your name with his eyes closed.

You pulled back a little, took a breath, and went back down for the kill.

“What the fuck…?”

Lower lip opening, tongue stretching out, only able to move the tip a bit at the top of his balls. Hm. This wasn’t working. You adjusted and cupped a hand under them, lifting the two soft mounds and pressing them to your chin, your tongue swiping out over them, his dick bending a little in your mouth (more flexible and a lot warmer than an ice lolly, by the way), and Seokjin was losing it above you, shuddering and whining, a mix of curses and your name as you turned your head to get a different angle, the tip of his cock pushed to one side of your throat, determined to see what was most comfortable and got you the best reaction, saliva coating his balls and causing them to become more slippery. You furrowed your brows and gripped his balls tighter, smearing the slick liquid over the soft skin and Seokjin moaned obscenely loudly, falling onto the bed, back arching.

“Oooh, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Abruptly, your throat spasmed, reminding you that needed to breathe, and you pulled back, coughing and panting slightly.

“Does that feel good?” you wheezed. Not the sexiest. You grimaced and cleared your throat, asking again. “Did that feel good for you?”

Seokjin tipped his head up, brown eyes glazed over, breathing hard. “Ah… It feels nice, but I don’t think I could finish with that…” Your frown deepened, but he shook his head, sending his brown hair floating everywhere. “It’s not tight enough. But it’s an insane turn on, so I think I could cum faster after…” He coughed, cheeks flushing. “After feeling and seeing it, you know?”

Your frown erased and you nodded, gently rubbing his soaked balls, seeing him shiver and his breathing shallow. “I think I understand, yeah.”

“Can… ah, can you finish me, p-please, ack, you k-keep – fuuuuuuuck…”

You went down again, but this time your focus was on the tightness of your mouth, tongue sliding from side to side, bobbing your head in a smooth, swift motion, keeping your lips soft, eyes closing as you felt his cock twitch inside your mouth, completely focused on the sensation of Seokjin in between your lips, breathing him in, the soft scent of fresh soap and his sweetness, trying to remember if there was anything you had forgotten.

Ah, yes!

You tipped your head back slightly and Seokjin cried out, heady and erotic, as the head of his cock dragged along the roof of your mouth before burying into your throat, over and over, hot saliva and a squirming tongue amplifying the sensation, realizing you needed to relax your throat but clench your mouth muscles while relaxing your lips and doing all this while keeping track of where his cock was going in your mouth so you didn’t accidentally choke on his dick.

A whole new level of multitasking.

Was the writer of that erotica you were reading some kind of sex god, because what the fuck–

But it didn’t matter, because even if it was sloppy and you couldn’t focus on all these things simultaneously, Seokjin was feeling only pleasure, fingers curling in the sheets, barely able to choke out his words through his moans.

“F-Faster, please…”

Faster? You could barely keep up as it was!

“Please…” he whined and you obeyed immediately, faster it was, because you were weak for him, weak for Kim Seokjin and his pleading face, pupils so blown out he seemed intoxicated, drunk on pleasure, and that made you aroused too, seeing your effect of him, tightening ever more and increasing the pace, the wet smacking sounds quickening, echoing in the bedroom with his lustful groans of your name, so sweet and loving that if you weren’t going to pass out from how fast you were going, you were surely going to pass out from the overwhelming adoration in his eyes. It made you push for a little bit more, push your limits a little harder, made you feel like you could do this.

For him.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum, fuck!”

Seokjin gripped the sheets tight and threw his head back, chest expanding with a low moan, thrusting his hips up and cock jolting, shooting thick streams into your throat, and your eyes widened, forced to stop, feeling his cum pool, creamy and viscous, tasting the delicious saltiness at the base of your tongue, your eyelids fluttering a little at the feeling of the tip rutting against the roof of your mouth and more dribbling out, coating the inside of your mouth.

Oh.

Oooh, fuck, it felt good.

You swallowed, feeling victorious and insanely horny, tongue circling round and round his flinching stiffness, able to sense the pulse and his shudders, descending again because you couldn’t get enough, so good, the feeling of him still in your mouth, him shivering at your persistent licks and light sucks, stroking his hips and moaning at the skin to skin.

The front door banged open downstairs and there was a lot of laughing and shouting.

Your eyes snapped open and Seokjin looked back at you in sheer panic.

The footsteps up the stairs proved they were being taken two at a time.

“Shit.”

Never had Seokjin yanked his cock so fast out of your lips (sad) and snatched his underwear and pajamas, bolting to the bathroom and throwing himself in there in record time the literal second the bedroom door was yanked open by rambunctious strength and a grin whose front teeth were ever-so-slightly too large for his face.

“Hyung, noona!”

You were laying with your head in your hand and your elbow on the bed, which was probably too sexual and weird for Jeon Jungkook, but that was all you got that this moment. He gave you a slightly disturbed and confused look under his big black bucket hat.

“Where’s hyung?”

You coughed and lowered your hand, trying to get in a less awkward position. “B-bathroom…” you rasped. Oh no. Did you go too hard? You sounded a bit like the crypt keeper. Fortunately, you didn’t look like one, so there was that. You rubbed your throat, wincing at the soreness. You definitely went a bit rough. You weren’t no young spring chicken anymore. You were going to feel that in the morning.

Sacrifices had to be made.

Jungkook pouted, bounding up to you and tilting his head. He was a moving black fabric mountain with his long-sleeved shirt and billowy shorts. “Are you really sick, noona? Do you want hot tea or some milk?”

Oh my God, Jungkook, I just sucked some dick and that’s why I sound dead.

Don’t say that.

“I… I’ll be fine, Jungkook. Did you have a nice walk?”

“Oh, yeah! There were fireworks! I think the city was celebrating something, and it was so colorful and pretty…”

You sat there and nodded, trying to listen intently while trying not to think about how Seokjin was in the bathroom rinsing off his saliva and cum-covered dick literal meters from you and oblivious Jungkook.

You saw movement behind Jungkook’s excitedly bouncing head. No straw hat, just black hair flattened against his forehead, covering his cat-like, dark brown eyes.

Yoongi.

He smirked, holding up a box.

Frozen ice lollys, the fizzy soda flavor that was light blue.

A muscle in your eye twitched.

Asshole.

--

masterpost

#seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #bts smut #seokjin x you #jin x reader #jin x you #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin x reader

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

SES 3 EP 3

AIGHT EVERYONE, WELCOME BACK. WE’VE GOT EPISODE 3 IN DA HOUSE I’M EXCITED, I’M STOKED ACTUALLY, AS ALWAYS, I’M ALSO SICK RN SO MY COHERENCY MAY VARY AIGHT HERE WE GO 

[Monkie Kid Season 3 episode 3 spoilers beneath cut] 

INTRO TIME 

COMPRESSED JOY THANK U VERY MUCH 

this is probably gonna be a shorter reaction one cause i do have something i need to do in about an hour so i’m trying to compress time a bit bGKM;AWEFO 

OKAY

Sandy fighting a whole freaking mech himself in the intro is whack actually good for him 

oh WOW THE QUAILITY OF THESE EPS IS SO HIGH

WHOAH

HOT DANG

PICITURE QUALITY I’M BITING THESE 

gosh i love the art in this show sm 

had the sound turned down too much hol up going back

I’M ACTUALLY SITTING HERE WITH A HEADPHOEN FROM MY PHONE ON AND AN EARBUD FROM MY COMPUTER IN AT THE SAME TIME SO LET TAHT IMAGE SINK IN FOR YA BGSDKLFMAOWE 

MULTITASKING

Well, Sandy, any direction the is “away from LBD” is probably the right one at this point bGKAMOWFE

OKAY NO BUT FOR REAL I REMEMBER USING MAPS WITH MY FAM AND IT FILLED UP THE WHOLE FRONT OF THE CAR, WAS SUPER CONFUSING AND MAPS ARE BOTH THE BEST AND WORST GB;KLSFM;AWOE PATS GENTLY 

ANYWAY I LOVE MEI SO MUCH BGKDFMAWE 

Y

YO BLUE THINGBDSMN;AOGHOWE

YO BLUE THINGBGSDA;FNOAWE

YO

BLUE

THINGBDF;ABGOIUNGOWOE

HELPGN;JAB;OGWEFM

YO BLUE THING, WANNA CRANK UP DAT OC BROTHA 

I’M ON THE FLOORBGLK;SDMF;OAHG;AOIFMAWE

TH

THE

BGBDFAMLWE HELPGSABFOWEM

I’M WHEEZINGSDFBH;ALMGOAWE

MEI UTTERLY DONE WITH HIM AND HE’S BEEN IN THE CAR WITH THEM FOR TEN MINUTES

“I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME” 

“no i can’t” 

PRETNEDING TO BE ASLEEPGB;SDFMA;WE

HE’S SO STUPID HELPGDFNA;WEM

MEI IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAINCELL IN THIS SEASON I SEE

MORE OF A RESAON TO SUSPECT SHE WILL BE NERFED SOMEHOW I AM CONCERN 

W

WHAT

MK NO

BUDDY

HANG ONGBSD;F;AOWIEFMAWE

MK NO THATS NOT BGS;FMAWE

YEAH PIGSY I’M ALSO CONCERNED HELLO?? 

THE FALLING BACK INTO THE PUDDLE OF SWEATBGASLFMWE

HONEST RELATIONSHIP MY BGASKL;FAW;OE

SON

BRUH

BUDDY BGDKFMAWOE

I AM

CONCERN

You might be honest now but boy do you guys not communicate well BG;ALKEMFOWEF 

I mean makes sense for Monkey King to be “Hey, lets get me recharged because that is gonna be the priority right now because you don’t have your powers and we need more power on our side so we don’t get KO’d into the sun during the next boss fight, gimme a bit to get back up to full so I can keep us all safe” RATHER THAN “Ayo i don’t got time to waste on ya mortals specially cause y’ain’t got powers anymore don’t bother me” 

SHAKES THEM

COMUNICATE BETTER YOU STUPID MONKEYGAS;JDLNA;WOE

VB;DFAMWOE

THE WINDOW

NO

NO BUT FOR REAL

MOOD THO

FELT

ME TOO

DURING THE SUMMER

WHILE CAMPNG

YEAH

YEAH

I AM SANDY :HANDSHAKE_EMOJI: 

THANK GOODNESS FOR MO, PUTTING OUT FIRES BGSKAFMAOWE 

Pigsy has my entire soul. 

Man is a father

going right to reassuring Mk, making sure he knows his worth

AND MK IMMEDEATELY VEARING LEFT TO TRY AND FORCE HIMSELF INTO ANOTHER CATEGORYGBDKFM;AWE

MK YOU DON’T NEED TO BE THE ONE ANYTHING JUST BE YOU MY GUY PLEASE CEASE

 also GRABS MY POST TALKIGN ABOUT HOW MK USED TO BE THE HERO/STRONG ONE AND NOW THAT HE’S NOT MEI’S FALLEN INTO THE ROLE OF PROTECTOR AGAIN— 

MEI LOOKING SO EXCITED WHEN HE STARTS TALKING THO, PIGSY CONCENRED BGFAMO;IEFEW

GHSDLKAJSD HELP IS 

IS THIS WHERE THIS FRAME IS FROM

I’VE HAD THIS FRAME OF HIM STANDING THERE AS A LI’LL GUY SAVED ON MY PHONE FOR MONTHS

THE MOMENT IS FINALLY HERE

I LOVE THEM SM BGDSK;FMAWOE

MEI JUST

DISSAPOINTED BUT NOT SURPRISEB;FGFMAWFIM

PIGSY GENUINELY CONCERN PANICKED

TANG GBA;SMFAOWFEW

MK PLEASEB;AFMAOWIGAWE 

Y’all don’t understand I love him so much Mk means everything to me 

Okay okay but the picture quality, the animation, the art style, this is everything everything everything 

Mk you absolute beloved guy I love him so much he’s such a disaster and I’m kinning so hard rn BNGAKWMEF 

HE’S DOING HIS BEST 

HE’S DOING HIS ABSOLUTE BEST

I LOVE HIM 

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO

RAN OUT OF GAS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

or too hot

OH ENGINE OVERHEAT 

TANK TOP PIGSY

MEI’S SLEEVES AND PANTS ROLLED UP HELLO

TANGGBDLSKMFA;OGIAWEF

GRABS AND SHAKES THEM 

Me :handshake_emoji: Mei 

Rolling up shirt sleeves and pant legs in heat bG;KLMAWEFOW

MK CARRYING MONKEY KING OUT OF THE BFNKAOWEM

HOL UP IS HE JUST THAT LIGHT???? 

HOW SMOL IS THIS GUY HE’S A ROCK MONKEY PLEASE???? 

MK ARE U BUFFED???

BUFF MK REAL 

H

MONKEY KING

MONKEY KING

MY GUY

No but this I think explains the Amnesia episode that’s coming up, they probably wake him up too early while he’s in mid-mediation 

Mans going back to recenter and relearn all his skills in his memories ig

dang

I’M ANALYZING THIS EP MROE THAN I’M REACTING SORRY MOVING ON GBSD;JLFKAM;OEW F

MK’S TRAINING OUTFIT THO HELLO 

Not over how everyone has a “k byeeeeeeee” moment bG;AKWMEFOW

They’re hallucinating aren’t they

GH;DSALKFMAWOE THE SPARKLY EYES AND EYELASHES GNBASDFMN;AGB;OIFMAEW

MONKEY KING FALLING OVERBGLK;FM;OGHWIOAFMAWE

tang tang nonGAWELK;FAWME

PIGSY BEING ON SANDY’S SHOULDERS THO

GBSAKFMAWE;OFAOIWEM

PUDDLE

MK WHERE’D U GET THE STAW BGKSADFMOAW

H

SPITS IT BACK OUTBGDSA;FM;AOWE

HELP

HELP

KILLS FISH MAN

DESTROY MAN 

I can’t tell if that’s a piggy gummy lego figure or something else BG;ASEFMA;WOEF 

NICE PAPER CLIPS 

MEI

I LOVE HER

SO MUCH

A BAJILLION MONIES

NO 

NO WIN

RUN AWAY

LEAVE

SCAM

SUS

RUN AWAY

KILL HIM

GOLDFISH DEMON??? 

AIN’T U  THE GODDESSS’S???

Y’ALL PLEASE

NO DON’T DO THIS

SMART BOI BRAIN

PLS

I AM SUCH CONCERN

WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO LOSE

NO

NOT A CHANCE

YEAH AIGHT

MAN

NOT 

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

YEAH NO 

NO

HECK NAH

MK YOU CAN’T BET MEI’S SWORD

BITE BITE KILL

MK WHY

IF THEY LOSE MEI’S SWORD I’M GOING TO PERISH

BIG BOY SMART BRAIN

NOOOOOOO

BGASDFMAOWE

MEI

MEI ;A; 

HOLDING HER GENTLY

MK STOP TRYING TMATHGBDSL;KFMAWE

UR BEING SCAMMED MY GUY 

SOBBING

PLS

NO

Y’ALL GONNA LOSE EVERYTHING 

W

MK

MK THAT’S

HIS 

NOODLE SHOP

NO MK 

H

I AM

NO

;-; 

THIS EP IS STRESSING ME OUTBGASD;FMOAGAWE

TANG’S JOURNAL??

GLASHES??

DID U FREAKING BET MONKEY KINGBDF;LJKAMNOAGOWE

SON HE’S WORTH MORE THAN ANY OF THIS

ohhhh buddy

li’ll dude bro pls

my guy 

SON

ARE U

W

WHAT

MK?????????????

MK ??????????

MK THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS 

MK SON THAT’S

YO

YO WHAT

HEYO

SON

KAY SO U SAW IT BUT

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SOMEWHAT EQUAL TO HEAVEN 

YES FINALLY

GET RID OF HIM

MEI

MEI

OH MY GOODNESSBGLDSKMF;AOWE

So

Huh

HM

So

Monkey King, is going back into his own memories to do that basically, where as Mk is gonna stay in the present and re-learn things one by one

HM

KAY BUT THAT’S NEAT THO

YEAH MK 

GBSDJFAMNW;E

AYO HE’S AWAKE

IS HE DONE>???? 

Okay not amnesia causer than cool cool cool not concerned not worried HAHAHHAHAHA 

AH???

AH??????

CRYING?????????

CRYIGNBA;LMNF;OGHAWIPEFMAWEOFHAWOE4

THE STAFFS JUST A BIG OL STICK

TAKES SOMEONE SPECIAL TO LIFT ITBGKFAMWOE ;A; 

YEAH OKAY SO U SAY THAT BUT HOW’D HE GET ALL UR POWERS MAN LEGIT HE ALREAEDY HAVE THEM ALL ALONG OR WHATS THE DEAL THERE SUS I’M LOOKING 

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SO 

blinks

Mk’s working to get his back, and then Monkey King is suddenly out of meditation

HM 

HM

THINKING

AIGHT OVER

That was kinda a fun but also stressful ep BGA;KWEMFOAWEF 

The fact that they kinda stood by and let him bet things that were most valuable to them is uh

;-; 

GUYS

GBSA;DKLMFAOWEF 

I MEAN NOT TOTALLY LET, BUT LIKE

MAN

THEY REALLY LOVE THIS KID 

DANG

WHICH I KNEW BUT GOSH DANG MY GUY I WOULD NOT HAVE LET ANYONE BET MY STUFF NO MATTER WHO THEY WEREBG;SDMF;OAWEFH

WHAT AN EP THO

I HAVE SCATTERED THOUGHTS BUT THEORIES ABOUT HOW MONKEY KING AND MK’S POWERS ARE LINKED ARE RUNNING RAMPANT IN MY BRAIN

UNTIL NEXT REACTION WHICH MIGHT BE IN A FEW DAYS BECAUSE I HAVE STUFF I NEEED TO DO BUT WE’LL SEE, FAREWELL UNTIL WHENEVER IT HAPPENS o7 

#knox rambles #Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid #Monkie kid season 3 #Monkie kid season 3 spoilers #Knox reaction #I don't remember what i usually tag these things bGKAMWOEF #WELP THAT'S THAT #this ended up taking about half an hour so HAHA CUT THE TIME IN HALF BABY WOOOOO #SB;JGKADNM;IOWEFMAWE #I really wanna go back and re-watch it now tho heckBGA;JLKWEFNMOAWE #OKAY UNTIL NEXT TIME PEACE OUT