#snack shack tracks

[nofatclips]

sandwich sharer by illuminati hotties

#music #illuminati hotties #snack shack tracks #hopeless records #sarah tudzin

[ckret2]

Chapter 41 of human Bill Cipher being really sick of being the Mystery Shack's prisoner: after absolutely terrorizing Gideon for projecting used car ads into Bill's dreams, tries to blackmail Gideon into working for him again.

But not before showing some unexpected sympathy for the plight of a child psychic on whose shoulders the family's financial future rests.

####

Dipper and Mabel were in the middle of a race on a roller coaster track when Bill wandered back downstairs. He sat on the couch armrest next to Mabel and precariously balanced as he crossed his legs. "So I've been thinking over this whole thing," Bill said. "I think I should apologize to Gideon."

"Work that out all by yourself?" Dipper glanced at the clock. "Wow. And it only took you half an hour."

Mabel finished a lap. While the roller coaster track slowly lifted her car to the top of the hill to start the next lap, she turned to give Bill an appraising look, ready to assess his work. "Apologize for what?"

"For terrorizing him! Is this a trick question?"

She nodded slowly—a little skeptical, but so far so good—but had to look away as she regained control of her car. "What's your angle?"

"I'm equilateral, work it out."

"Shut uuup, I'm serious."

"Why do I need to have an angle? Maybe I want to practice some of the apology lessons they're teaching on Color Critters! Aren't you the one who wanted me to be a decent person? You should be thrilled. You are thrilled."

"Bill."

"Okay fine, I want you to stop looking at me like I'm evil incarnate over a silly little prank letter." He nudged Mabel's head with his elbow. She smacked his arm away. "Isn't that the only reason anyone apologizes? To stop people from getting mad at them?" He lifted his eyepatch and squinted at the screen. "Goose in the left barrel."

Mabel swerved left. "Yes! Eat tail feathers, Dipper!"

"No no no no—!" His anguished groan mingled with angry honks. He tossed down his controller as Mabel sailed past his disabled car. "I'm not playing with Bill in the room."

Mabel laughed. "You're a sore loser!"

"I'll be out of your matted hair in a few minutes," Bill said. "You're cranky, go get a juice."

Dipper stomped from the room, grumbling. "Whatever, I'm getting a snack." He pointed at Bill, "Not because you told me to! I'm just hungry! It's got nothing to do with you!"

"Sure." Bill nudged Mabel again. "C'mon, let me use my training. Don't think I haven't noticed you're trying to mold me into a model citizen. Why bother if I never get a chance to act like one?"

Mabel looked at him thoughtfully. "You know what? Okay. I guess not wanting people to be mad at you is a good enough reason to apologize." She'd been hoping he'd land on genuine remorse, but she'd take what she could get.

"Great! Fisherman's out, Questiony's working, Sixer's gonna be in his cave til dinner, Dolores doesn't care—" Bill gestured toward the door, "so let's get the bracelets and get to the kid's house while the adults are distracted."

Mabel grimaced. "Oough. Right. We have to actually visit him."

"Unless you want me to mail an apology letter—"

"Definitely not." She sighed. "Well, if it's for the greater good... put on something other than a hoodie and let's go."

"You got it." Bill hopped off the couch and swung with one hand around the doorframe as he headed to the stairs.

####

Dipper tried to protest, but he'd missed his window to talk Mabel out of it; and so Bill and Mabel headed out, with Bill in a loose smiley face-covered Hawaiian shirt—Mabel approved of the friendly message—an undershirt, the leggings that looked like jeans, and his dress shoes. In other words, about as disarmingly unthreateningly un-Bill-like as he could get. He seemed to get bouncier and more energetic the longer they walked outside, until by the time they were turning onto Gideon's street he was cartwheeling up the sidewalk.

Bill waited for Mabel to open the gate in front of Gideon's house; but while Bill blithely passed through, Mabel lingered behind a few steps. Bill paused and glanced back. "Hey. All good, star girl?"

"Yeah." Mabel laughed nervously and caught up. "Just... haven't been to his house since before he got weird. Kinda gives me the willies now."

"Can't blame you. This is the guy who agreed to be my sheriff in exchange for custody of your bubble key."

Mabel cringed. "Did he really?"

"Oh yeah. Think he was planning to visit you in there until he wooed you? I never asked him. I didn't want the details."

"Ugh." Mabel shuddered.

Bill paused. "Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that ten feet from his front door."

"It's... it's fine." She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Greater good. Right?"

He didn't answer immediately, tapping a foot as he thought. "Listen. Once we're in there, do you want me to go somewhere private to talk with him? So you don't have to worry about him leering at you the whole time?"

"Would you?" Mabel's shoulders slumped as a little tension eased up, relief obvious on her face. "But how will I know if you've apologized properly?"

"That little tattle will tell you if I do an awful job." Bill laughed. "Come on! I don't need you grading me on a rubric! Gimme a chance to prove I can say 'I'm sorry' without my life coach telling me how to behave."

"Thanks, Bill." She gave him a quick hug.

"Sure, any time kid. I'm not about to let any creeps get to you on my watch." Bill stretched his arms out, fingers laced together. "Ready?" When Mabel nodded, Bill knocked on the door.

After a long moment, a worried-looking, gray-haired woman opened the door. "Hello?"

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Gleeful!" Bill offered a partial bow. "We're here to visit Gideon, he should be expecting us. Would you let him know we're here?"

"Oh. Yes, of course." Her voice was a hushed murmur, as though she were talking to herself—or perpetually concerned about being overheard. She didn't raise her voice much as she called into the house, "Gideon? You have visitors."

Voice muffled, Gideon shouted from upstairs, "Who is it!"

Joy glanced over Bill and Mabel, but her gaze lingered on Mabel's face. "Oh. Aren't you that girl he...?"

"It's Mabel."

Joy said, "It's Mabel, and—"

Gideon let out an alarmed squawk. "Ohmygoodness. JUST A MINUUUTE! Where did I leave my cologne—"

Joy watched the ceiling nervously, listening to the subtle thuds.

Bill glanced her up and down, as though sizing up what he had to work with; and then he smiled brightly and said, "Well, I'm sure the little star's preparing a big entrance! Shall we wait inside?"

Joy started a little. "Oh—yes, of course. Please, come in." She pulled the door open wider and gestured to the sitting area.

Bill and Mabel took a seat on the couch. Bill crossed one ankle over his knee in a casual figure 4, and gestured to the armchair as though he were the host giving his guest permission to sit. Joy hesitated, but took the seat, sitting straight up without touching the back of the seat, feet together and hands laced over her knees.

"And how has Gideon been lately?" Bill asked. "We haven't had a chance to catch up since last summer!"

"Oh—I'm sure he's probably fine," Joy said, eyes darting around—to the clean carpet, to the framed pictures hanging straight on the wall, to the doorway into the kitchen.

"'Probably'?" Bill echoed.

"Well. He's really closer to his father, you see..."

"Nonsense." Bill lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I trust a woman's intuition on this sort of thing." He paused. "I'd wink here, but uh..." He gestured at his eye patch and shrugged with a helpless grin.

Joy curled her lips into her mouth and, for the first time since she'd opened the door, for a fraction of a second, nearly almost smiled. But it faded quickly; and when she spoke, her voice was low enough that Mabel had to lean halfway across the coffee table to hear her. (Bill didn't even move.) "You should probably know before you see him: he... has seemed a little bit cranky, recently."

"Oh?" Bill prompted.

(Mabel mumbled, "'Recently'?" and Bill nudged her.)

"Nothing like he was when he—" Joy faltered and quickly course corrected, "before his arrest. But, a bit. But then he's going through so much—reintegrating into life on the outside, trying to make friends at school..."

"Say, that's nice to hear! Has he made many?"

Joy hesitated. "He's always been... such a precocious child. It makes it hard for him to relate to other... And honestly, I think most of the children are jealous of his talents."

Bill nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure they are. Kids can be so cruel when they notice someone special. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down."

Joy nodded. "Yes—exactly. And he's so... sensitive."

Bill gave Mabel a warning glance. She pursed her lips tightly and puffed out her cheeks. Satisfied she wasn't about to weigh in on why Gideon wasn't making friends, Bill turned back to Joy. "Do you think that's what's been bothering him lately?"

"Well, yes, there's that."

Voice a tad lower, Bill prompted, "And...?"

Joy paused. She twisted her hands together. "And—I think he might be concerned about his father's business."

"Oh, the auto dealership?" Bill sat up a little. "I hope it hasn't been struggling lately?"

"It's... been a slow few months," Joy said. "It must be weighing on him—"

"He doesn't feel responsible, does he?"

Joy quickly shook her head. "Of course not. It isn't his fault. But he's just a little boy, there's not much he can do to help. Besides perform in a commercial, maybe—and he doesn't like that, we don't make him do that anymore—or..." She trailed off. "Well. Not knowing how to help or what to do... I can imagine he must feel... guilty." She stared down at her hands as she spoke.

Bill's gaze never wavered from her face. He nodded slowly. "I'm sure the business must be weighing on the whole family. It can't be easy for you, Joy—keeping a household running during such a difficult time." He gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll see what I can do to help you all."

Joy stared at his face, eyes shining. "I'm, sorry—did I catch your name?"

"Mr. Locke is fine, thanks. I was in business talks with your son before his incarceration."

Mabel leaned against Bill and whispered, "You mean he hired you to invade my grunkle's brain—"

Bill elbowed her.

Footsteps scurried down the stairs. "I'm coming!" Gideon rushed into the room, tugging his sleeves down his wrists, all gussied up and reeking of three separate hair products. "Hi Mabel my honey pie! What a pleasant surprise, what brings you by so s—" His gaze fixed on Bill, and his sweet smile twisted into fury. "You!"

Joy quickly stood up. "I should be—vacuuming the dining room." She hurried from the room, giving Gideon a wide berth as she went. The sound of vacuuming quickly filled the house.

Gideon never looked away from Bill. "Just what do you think y—"

Bill was on his feet and sweeping across the room before Gideon could get more out. "Hello again! I don't think we were properly introduced. The name's Goldie Locke." He blinked. "Wink."

Gideon grimaced. "You serious? Goldilocks? That's the best you could do?"

"I thought it was funny!"

Mabel scooted up onto the arm of the sofa, took a leap off, and landed next to Bill. "I came up with it!"

Gideon smiled uncomfortably. "Oh—sure, sure. Real cute."

"We came by so Goldie here," Mabel poked Bill's arm with both hands, "could give you a proper apology for his... 'prank.'" She got behind Bill and poked him in the back, directing him toward the stairs. "So you two go off somewhere private and do that! Go! Go on!"

"Wh— private?" Gideon leaned around Bill to give Mabel a pleading look. "M-Mabel, aren't you coming too?"

Mabel laughed nervously. "No, definitely not. I'm staying right here."

"But—but—"

"It's fine! If he tries any—" her voice dropped to a whisper, "—weird space demon magic—you can just scream. But he's basically harmless! I promise."

"But... I don't wanna be alone with..."

Bill put a hand on Gideon's back, turned him around, and practically dragged him toward the stairs. "And she doesn't want to be alone with you, and I'm going to respect her wishes."

Gideon hissed at Bill. He wasn't quite sure what to do when Bill hissed back. No one had ever done that before.

"You've got nothing to worry about," Bill said, giving Gideon a very worrying smile. "I just want an opportunity to show you the sincerity of my remorse. A little heart-to-heart! And anyway, you and I have a lot of catching up to do."

####

The moment Gideon's bedroom door shut, Bill said, in an exaggeratedly innocent golly-gee-whiz voice, "'Well, Mabel, the thing is, I was just cranky because I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in days, because Gideon's been broadcasting mind control dreams to the town multiple times a week! Yeah, you know how you've been waking up feeling hypnotically compelled to buy a car? Good ol' Gideon! But you're right, bullying isn't the solution! I should have just asked him to cast his brainwashing spell a little further from the Mystery Shack—'" Bill cut off with a laugh. "I take it you get the picture! Your flesh is as white as your hair! It's—it's creepy. Stop it."

Gideon was already on the far side of the room, holding a floating arm desk lamp toward Bill like a sword. Voice shaking, he asked, "How do you know about that spell? H-how are you even alive? And here like... like this?"

"Does it matter?" Bill meandered around the room, looking at Gideon's matching nightstands, his TV, the floppy teddy bear on his bed. "Here's the only important question: what's it worth to you for me not to spill the beans to your sweetheart?"

Gideon swallowed hard.

As Bill rounded the bed, Gideon backed away from him until his back was pressed against the wall between his vanity and his dresser. Bill leaned over to look under the bed and nudged a rolled-up tarp with his foot. It unrolled across the floor, revealing Gideon's magic circle. "Uh-huh."

"Please stop looking around my room."

"Relax, I just want to see what's changed! This is hardly the first time I've seen your room." He glanced down at the subtle depiction of his face woven into the pattern on Gideon's carpet. "I've had eyes in here since you were a baby." 

He leaned over Gideon's bed, studying his knit zodiac blanket. "Although this eye is new. You went with red, white, and blue? How patriotic." He tugged at the blanket's edges, straightening it out. "Lots of pilling on the yarn, this thing's been very well loved. Does it still smell like Shooting Star, you cretin?"

"You keep your hands off of Mabel's blanket, you—!" Gideon swung his lamp toward Bill. It missed by a foot.

Bill didn't even flinch. "You're very lucky that you missed." For a moment, his voice was inhumanly low.

Gideon's blood ran cold. He clutched the lamp against his chest. "W-what do you want from me? I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep, all right? Is that what you want to hear?!"

"It's a good start!" Bill sat on Gideon's bed and made himself comfortable, propping himself up on his elbows, ankles crossed casually, resting in the center of his own zodiac. "Now, promise you'll stop advertising in people's dreams, and everything's forgiven!"

"I..." Gideon bit his lip.

Bill grinned a little wider. "What's the problem, kid? It's not like your daddy needs you running his advertising campaign! The family finances aren't resting on your shoulders!" He laughed.

Gideon just bit his lip harder. 

"Oh wait. Maybe they are. Are they?"

He looked down at the tarp. "Mrrng."

Bill sat up, leaning forward until he caught Gideon's gaze again. "So sorry, Star Boy! I didn't realize how serious your situation is!" His wicked smile said otherwise. "Wow, that must be so hard for you—the family breadwinner, at such a young age. Knowing your family needs you to keep them afloat. And it's not like you can just go out and get a job! So what can you do, except... well, whatever it is you already know how to do? Putting on a good show, right?"

"It's not like that," Gideon snapped, ignoring the weight in the pit of his stomach. He looked down at his lamp weapon and tugged anxiously at one of his sleeves. "It—it's not as though we're broke! We just... might have to tighten our belts a little bit, that's all. It's normal, most businesses have their ups and downs."

"Of course. Just no big shopping trips for a while! Pity you're about to need a whole new wardrobe, though."  Bill casually pushed himself off Gideon's bed, taking a step closer. "Hey, wanna know when your next growth spurt starts?"

Gideon shrank down. "No."

"It costs a lot to keep a growing kid clothed. And fed, and stocked with school supplies... If father asks for a little help, how can you refuse? If you don't, you could lose the business, lose your house, lose everything... all that, plus knowing it'd be your fault for not doing what you can? It's heartbreaking."

Bill leaned over Gideon, propping himself up with a hand on his dresser, trapping him in his shadow. Gideon cringed; but Bill asked, voice unexpectedly low and almost gentle, "You're so important. There's a helplessness that comes from wielding that kind of power, isn't there?"

The weight in Gideon's stomach grew heavier. Bill must have been watching his life ever since last fall; that was the only way he could have understood what Gideon was feeling so well. And yet—hearing someone else put it into words was a strange relief. He'd cut to the bleeding core of the issue. Gideon was the only one with the power to do anything, so he had to do something. It was a helplessness.

"Yeah." Gideon put his lamp back on his dresser, defeated. "Yeah, there is."

Bill crouched in front of Gideon, meeting him at eye level. "It just so happens that I'm sympathetic to your situation, kid. I get it." It was hard to read the mood in Bill's alien gaze; but for a moment, Gideon was sure he really did see a glimmer of sympathy in his slit pupil. "So how about this: I could help you out. Make some calls, pull some strings... give the family business a little boost," he said. "If you do me a couple small favors first."

Outraged, Gideon shouted, "You're blackmailing me into working for you again?! You—!" With a furious grunt, Gideon shoved Bill away from him.

To his surprise (and immediate horror), Bill lost balance, toppling onto his back with a yelp. But he just rolled onto his side and hopped back to his feet, laughing. "No no no! I'm blackmailing you into knocking off the annoying dream spell. That's all! Cut it out, or I'm telling Mabel. And—heck, how about the police while I'm at it?"

"You wouldn't—"

"I am pals with the sheriff and the mayor. Mind control happens to already be illegal in Gravity Falls, you can thank Quentin Trembley for that—such a forward thinker! I don't think there are any state-level laws yet, but I bet they'll wriiite ooone just for yoo-oou." The last sentence came out as a singsong taunt. "Anyway: drop the mind control. That's all I'm asking for. Okay?"

Gideon had circled around Bill to his bed, where he pulled off his zodiac blanket and bundled it against his chest. He wasn't sure which sounded worse. Prison probably should, but the thought of giving Mabel a fresh reason to hate him... He looked down at the blanket, and heaved a shaky sigh. "Okay."

"So? We're agreed? No more dream advertisements?"

"No more dream advertisements. You win."

"Great!" Bill beamed at Gideon. "But then, completely separately, if you want help saving the family business... well, offer's on the table! In fact, I'd happily offer to help without asking anything in return—"

"—you should, it's mostly your fault—"

"—except that, with my own situation being like it is, what with the limited access to my usual resources... I need you to help me help you." He spread his hands apologetically. "Nothing I can do about it."

Gideon pressed his lips together, looking down at his zodiac blanket. A fold in the fabric displayed part of the ripped heart. Gideon plucked out the blanket until he could glimpse the top of the shooting star.

He swallowed hard. "No. Absolutely not."

Bill blinked. "'Scuse me?"

"I can't accept your help," Gideon said. "I lead a support group of ex-cons—the very same ones I stupidly led into battle for you—and what would they say if they heard I was working for you again?"

The indulgent smile on Bill's face vanished. Rage flashed in his eye. "What would they say if they learned you're the first among them to reoffend?" He pointed at Gideon's magic circle. "Wouldn't they be disappointed. Aren't they your followers these days?"

Gideon squirmed under Bill's glare, backing away until he bumped into one of his nightstands. "F... 'followers'?"

"Your devotees—now that your Tent of Telepathy audience has abandoned you." The new smile that twisted across Bill's face now was hard and cruel, and his eye fixed like a prison searchlight on Gideon made Bill seem much closer than he was. "Isn't being worshiped sublime, Star Boy? That unconditional love? A worshiper will always be more reliable than some girl's fickle heart. But even the most 'unconditional' love always comes with fine print. How far are you willing to go to remain worthy of their love?"

Bill pulled a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and waved it in the air. "We both know you'll help your daddy's business. The only question is if you'll do it your way, or mine." He placed the paper on Gideon's dresser and tapped it with his finger. "My way doesn't even involve breaking the law."

Gideon shook his head. "I won't..."

"I'll leave it with you anyway."

Bill strolled around the bed. "Well! I think we're finished here, how about you?" He stopped in front of the door.

He turned back. "Gideon, you're gonna have to get the door, I can't..."

"What?" Gideon asked. "Y'can't what?"

Bill huffed. "I'm sort of under this curse? So. If you could just—"

Gideon burst out laughing in disbelief. "The Amnesia Limina curse? You can't open doors?! Are you kidding me!"

"I can still ruin the rest of your embarrassingly short mortal life, you twit. Just—just get over here—"

Still laughing, Gideon crossed the room and got the door.

"Yeah. Thanks. Great."

As they came downstairs, Mabel hopped off the sofa. "Sooo? How'd the apology go?"

"Great!" Bill got in front before Gideon had a chance to speak. "I think we really understand each other better. Isn't that right, Gideon?"

Gideon grumped, "I think it's the worst 'apology' I've ever heard."

Bill gave him a dirty look powerful enough to kill a skittish horse; but he flinched under the weight of Mabel's disappointed frown. He laughed nervously, "Okay, so I still need some practice with my delivery! Human tones are finicky." He stared at Gideon. "But you accept the overall content of it, right?"

Bill was giving Gideon the creepiest smile he'd ever seen. But Mabel, on the other hand, was giving him this hopeful look—like she wanted this to go well so badly, and only Gideon could make or ruin her day. There's a helplessness that comes with wielding that kind of power.

In the world Gideon had been raised in, if someone who has transgressed against you apologizes, you don't have the right to withhold their forgiveness—it makes you as bad as the transgressor. The only way he could refuse was if he told Mabel he hadn't even gotten any apology; but there was no way to say that without admitting what they'd really discussed. "Yeah," Gideon muttered at his shoes. "I s'pose I accept it."

"Yes!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air so enthusiastically she lifted a few inches off the floor. "Great work! Happy face stickers for everybody!" She smacked a sticker on Bill's shirt and Gideon's lapel.

They tugged out their clothes to inspect their stickers. Bill's had a giant yellow smiley face over the words "Good job!" Gideon's had a smiling whale surrounded by the words "WHALE DONE". They were both disproportionately elated by their prizes.

"So can we go now?" Mabel whispered, "I feel like Mr. Gleeful's new clown painting is staring at me."

"Just one second. I should have a word with the missus of the house." Bill waved back at the kids as he trotted from the room. "Be right back!"

Mabel eyed Gideon warily.

Gideon smiled winningly. "So, Mabel. As long as you're already over here, would you like to stay for dinner—?"

"Nuh-uh." She turned and headed for the door. "Goodbye forever!"

"Aw."

Bill followed the sound of vacuuming through the kitchen into the dining room, and rapped on the doorframe. "Knock knock."

Joy flinched and spun around. "Oh." She turned off her vacuum. "Yes, Mr. Locke?"

"Just wanted to thank you for your hospitality before we leave!"

"Oh—yes, of course. You're welcome."

He lowered his voice, "And I also wanted to tell you not to worry about a thing. I'm sure everything will turn out fine for your family—and for you." He flashed her a winning smile.

She hesitantly nodded. "Thank you."

####

As they walked to the gate around the Gleeful property, Mabel said, "You weren't just all talk with Gideon's mom, were you? You actually are planning to help her."

Bill gave her a surprised look. "Something like that. How'd you know?"

"You told her to call you Mister. That means you mean business!"

A crooked smile stretched across his face. "Hey! No fair, you know too much. You're figuring out all my secrets."

Out on the sidewalk, Bill did a cartwheel, attempted to turn it into a handstand, and fell on the sidewalk. He brushed off a scraped elbow with a grumble and got back up. Well, it matched his burn on the other side.

"4 out of 10."

"I didn't ask."

Mabel snickered. "You know—your conversation with Gideon might not have gone perfectly. But you realized you did something wrong, you apologized for it, and you're gonna do better." She patted his arm. "I'm really proud of you, Bill. That's some serious growth."

"Really?"

"Really."

He beamed. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had been proud of him. (Granted, he didn't generally tolerate relationships in which somebody felt like they had enough superiority over him to feel "pride" toward his actions. Generally "awe" or "admiration" were more common.) He was basking in the praise. He was over the moon. He was euphoric. He was the best person to ever exist.

The fact that the praise was horribly misplaced didn't faze him in the least.

####

Gideon had spent the past minute picking peas out of his pot pie and scooting them to the edge of his plate.

Bud cleared his throat. "Son, you really ought to eat your vegetables. And they'll taste better mixed in with the rest of your food than all by themselves."

"I don't want my peas."

"But they're good for you! Don't you want to grow up big and strong—?"

Gideon flinched. He pounded the table. "I said I don't WANT my peas!"

"All right, okay, that's fine! Just thought I'd suggest it."

Gideon grumpily scooped up a forkful of chicken, carrots, and corn, eyed the carrots skeptically, and took a bite. It was fine. "So, father. How was work?"

Bud sighed. "Oh, it would've made more sense just to close for the day. At least then I wouldn't be wasting money on air conditioning the office."

"Oh." Gideon stabbed at a lone piece of corn with his fork. "Maybe we oughta... stop with the nighttime ads. It doesn't sound like they're helping."

"Ahh, you might be right."

Gideon heaved a sigh of relief.

"I just don't know what else to try." Bud shook his head. "I've tried newspaper ads, TV ads, radio ads, billboards, fliers, sales, cutting brake lines..." He settled his hand near Gideon's spot at the table. "Son, you know I know you're doing the best you can to help our family, and it means more to me than I can say. But, if there's anything else you can think of...?"

Gideon tried to avoid his father's gaze—and instead, spotted his mother. She usually kept to herself during dinner, wholly focused on her own plate when she wasn't setting out dishes or cleaning them up. But tonight, she was looking right at Gideon. Like she expected something out of him, too.

He shrank into his seat. "Well. I've got one other idea I could try."

####

Gideon shut the door to his room—and, just to be safe, stuck his chair under the doorknob. Then he gingerly picked up the paper on the dresser and unfolded it.

The same tall, thin handwriting as on the letter he'd received—but even more cramped, cramming as much text on one torn-out book page as possible. A terse paragraph of instructions, a phone number, a numbered list of questions, a prepared statement.

Gideon got his mobile phone and a notebook, set up to take notes at his vanity, took a deep breath, let it out, and dialed the number. As the phone rang, he looked at himself in the mirror and muttered, "Heaven help me if I'm facilitating the start of Armageddon."

Then someone picked up, and he held the phone up to his ear. "Hello? Oh, right, er—" He read off the paper Bill had given him, "'But rises gold over the pyramid.' ... Yes. Mhm, I'm calling on behalf of... of Bill Cipher. ... My name's not important, I'm just the messenger—oh, oh you recognize my voice! Haha!" He mopped his forehead with the back of his sleeve. "A-always nice to meet a fan! Yeah, we know each other. Small world. N... no, he didn't give me my... I was—was psychic before I met him, actually. Sorry, I didn't catch your name—who'm I speaking to?"

Gideon looked at Bill's list of questions, wrote a 1. in his notebook, and beside it wrote "Sue Blime." One question down. "I have a message to pass on."

####

He pushed harder.

Her skin fractured and peeled off, strand after strand. It filled the spaces between his fingertips, wrapped up his arms. He could shut his eye but he still saw it through his eyelid, still felt it tickling at the corners of his mouth. He let out an angry, hysterical, broken laugh.

And then he laughed louder, and louder—higher, shriller, echoing all the way to the distant stars. "What am I doing?" He opened his eye and looked at his hands, tangled with gold threads and soaked in blood. He laughed again, gleeful. "What am I doing! None of this is real! This is a dream! We're in my dreamscape. None of this matters! I control all of you!"

Bill controlled all of them.

He effortlessly peeled his arm off the plane of his dimension into the third, still tangled in gore, and spun his finger. The golden shreds of skin let go of his hand, rotating around his hand in a loose tornado. Cackling again, he rose up into space, looping like a paper airplane on a breeze, telekinetically twirling the countless golden shreds with him like he was doing a ribbon dance. And wasn't it beautiful? He was changing their color—yellow green blue violet red orange yellow—he was melting them down to floating drops of liquid gold, he was making them vanish into thin air. There was no blood on his hands. There never had been. He had never killed. His mother did not exist.

He glanced toward the stars. "Am I gonna have any meddling from you? Want to sell me any cars tonight?"

The stars didn't answer. Good. He didn't want his show interrupted by a commercial break.

"I control you," Bill announced to the crowd of assembled worshipers below, numb and thoughtless and unmoving while the god of this dream had no use for them to live. "You answer to me!" He jabbed his thumb against his golden face—not the internal organs exposed to the third dimension the rest of the shapes had, but the exoskeleton he wouldn't start wearing until centuries after this memory. "The only life you have is in my head! All of you, all of you have been burned away for a trillion years!" He paused, then flashed two finger guns at a red hexagon in the crowd. "All except you, Hect. Always great to see a long-time fan!"

In the field of frozen shapes, Bill's memory of Hectorgon hesitantly waved.

"But..." Beneath Bill, still as aghast as he'd been so many eons ago, still playing his part to move this dream along, his father said, "But... what are we going to tell your followers?"

"Ugh, you're such a downer. Give it a rest, you old square!" Bill did something no prisoner of the second dimension had ever been capable of doing: he snapped his fingers. His father silently dissolved into origami butterflies and fluttered into space. "You barely even liked her."

He floated back down to the plane, lacing his fingers together to stretch his arms in front of him. "I don't need you," he muttered. "I've got this handled. I've always been the one who had this handled. Now let's end this dream the right way."

Time to sucker his suckers.

He swooped through the open doors to speak to his assembled worshipers as effortlessly as though he'd been doing this a trillion years: "My beautiful, loving believers! I have wonderful news. Your high priestess—my mother—has passed on; but, you should be celebrating! Because she hasn't abandoned us! Her spirit's just ascended—not up, but out of our dimension and into the third, where the spirits of all departed shapes live on! Her spirit's formed a bridge from there to me, and through me to you! She's revealed the true nature of the third dimension—a sublime realm of color and life—and I'll reveal it to you, too!"

The black starry void of the third dimension above Bill mutated as he spoke; now, it was raucous colors, beams of light, and glittery gold. Faraway neon-colored shapes danced deliriously through nebulas and clouds.

"I'll teach you the secrets passed down to us from the enlightened third-dimensional spirits; I'll show you how to see it all for yourself... and if you follow me, if you devote yourself entirely to my teachings, if you trust me blindly—blindly, for I can see what others can't—then I'll guide you INTO the third dimension! I will be your teacher, your divine guide, your muse! So tell me: do you trust me?"

The worshipers cheered.

"Do you worship me?!"

The worshipers screamed.

"Do you love me!"

The worshipers howled, mad with love for Bill, ripping each other apart in a spontaneous outpouring of zealotry.

Bill's shrieking laughter rose up above the roar of his imaginary crowd.

####

For the first time since his death, Bill woke fully rested. Dawn streamed in through the attic window, shining golden on the cloud of curly hair dangling in front of his eyes. And wasn't it beautiful? He ran his fingers through his hair, smoothed it back, and pushed it into the right shape.

He checked to make sure no humans were coming for a while, slid Journal 4 out of its hiding place, and flipped to the page where he'd stuck his "Good Job!" sticker. He'd used his stolen half-dried marker to blacken the sides of the yellow smiley face, turning it from a circle into a triangle, draining the last of its ink in the process. He wasted four pages with every detail he could recollect from this dream, going on and on about how easy it had been to assert his rightful control, how effortless to control time and space. If he ever found the human who wrote that lucid dreaming guide, he was giving 'em a planet.

At the end, he wrote in English, "You'll regret turning me down as your teacher, Stanford. You can't even imagine how many people would have committed murder to get that kind of attention. But I gave it to you."

He tried to remember how that sermon had really gone.

What did he need to remember the truth for? It must have gone something like that. He wouldn't still be here if it hadn't, would he?

####

(Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, I'd appreciate a comment!! Next week we kick off with more of Bill's history—and then start ramping up for the biggest, longest plot arc so far.)

#bill cipher #(for the art) #human bill cipher #gideon gleeful #(for the chapter) #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #(I'm disappointed i didn't get to draw Bill menacing Gideon; but i only had time for one illustration and i picked Lots Of Colors.) #(plus it's nice every once in a while to get a reminder of what Bill actually looks like)

[warnersister]

INSTAMAGINE: DANNY RIC DATING AN ELITE RUNNER

Daniela Ricciardo x Reader

Daniel Ricciardo x Runner! Reader

youruser

youruser: Sunshine track sesh with team? Yes pls😍

📍: local track

🏷️: emmajanelbates, nikerunning

❤️: danielricciardo, emmajanelbates, nikerunning and 23,421 others

💬:

emmajanelbates: last rep was too hot🥲

❤️: 7,892

-> youruser: emmajanelbates thought the track was going to melt tbh

❤️: 6,235

nikerunning: new shoes Y/n? 👀

❤️: 7,245

-> youruser: nikerunning you know it 🤭

❤️: 7,132

redbullracing: if you needed a new set of tyres we’d recommend Pirelli over Nike😏

❤️: 18,242

-> runningblog: redbullracing wrong sport much? 😭

❤️: 4,185

-> ynlnrunningfan: redbullracing Where’d you guys come from🤣

❤️: 3,274

youruser with nnrunningteam

youruser: training with the elites in Kenya🇰🇪 for 4 weeks now stronger & wiser while running alongside the best🙏 never thought I’d get this incredible opportunity, watch this space for upcoming racing announcements👀🏃‍♀️

📍: Ngong hills

🏷️: nnrunningteam, sifanhassan, peresjepchirchirngeno

❤️: kipchogeeliud, sifanhassan, danielricciardo and 82,746 others

💬:

nnrunningteam: train with the best to become the best🙏 our job is done

❤️: 79,268

-> youruser: nnrunningteam beyond grateful for this opportunity

❤️: 82,129

maxverstappen1: danielricciardo she’s faster than you now

❤️: 83,256

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 I’ll run after her any day of the week😍

❤️: 83,667

-> user1: maxverstappen1 do you guys know which sport you’re in? 😭

❤️: 42,142

-> ynnews: user1 no idea what is happening with the F1 drivers here🤔🤔

❤️: 32,442

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: vibes are immaculate

📍: Boston Marathon

🏷️: bostonmarathon

❤️: redbullracing, youruser, bostonmarathon and 367,498 others

💬:

redbullracing: #certified WAG Daniel

❤️: 365,232

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing I’m loving the stay at home wife life xxxx

❤️: 352,435

maxverstappen1: “you’re doing a great job hun”

❤️: 363,242

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 got the drinks and snacks ready for the finish line

❤️: 360,135

youruser: 🤍

❤️: 365,890

-> danielricciardo: youruser ❤️❤️

❤️: 365,275

-> user1: youruser W H A T

❤️: 24,562

-> dannyfan: WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT HUH WHAT

❤️: 13,245

youruser

youruser: Boston. Tomorrow we race.

📍: Boston Marathon Start Line

🏷️: nnrunningteam, bostonmarathon, nikerunning

❤️: nnrunningteam, bostonmarathon, danielricciardo and 687,201 others

💬:

nnrunningteam: it comes down to tomorrow

❤️: 429,873

kipchogeeliud: see you on the start line. We know what you are capable of. 🙏

❤️:680,764

-> youruser: kipchogeeliud 🙏🧡

❤️:680,522

danielricciardo: 10 miles at 5min/km surely isn’t an easy run

❤️: 681,243

-> youruser: danielricciardo “oh no I want to come” “I won’t struggle I’m a racing driver it’s only running” - daniel via famous last words

❤️: 682,435

-> danielricciardo: youruser shush

❤️: 681,423

-> youruser: danielricciardo your words, not mine 🤷‍♀️

❤️: 680,921

-> ynelite: danielricciardo WHAT HAVE I MISSED A WHOLE BOOK?!?!

❤️: 72,352

-> f1newz: danielricciardo WHO WHAT WHY WHERE AND WHEN?!?!

❤️: 64,839

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: don’t like the shake out runs but I’ll certainly take the Boston milkshakes😋🥛

📍: Boston Shake Shack

🏷️: bostonshakeshack

❤️: bostonshakeshack, bostonmarathon, youruser and 872,149 others

💬:

bostonshakeshack: please serving two of the best 😉

❤️: 823,164

-> user1: bostonshakeshack TWO????? IS HE WITH YN????

❤️: 72,353

landonorris: yum.

❤️: 860,924

-> maxverstappen1: landonorris ur a child

❤️: 859,374

maxverstappen1: danielricciardo don’t get fat

❤️: 871,424

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 I’m carb loading😤

❤️: 872,043

-> maxverstappen1: danielricciardo to WATCH a race??? 🤨🤨

❤️: 870,923

youruser

youruser: carbin’ up😋😋

📍: Boston Shake Shack

🏷️: bostonshakeshack

❤️: danielricciardo, bostonshakeshack, ynelite and 562,903 others

💬:

bostonshakeshack: our fave❤️

❤️: 540,724

-> youruser: bostonshakeshack forever and unbeaten love you and I❤️😋

❤️: 552,326

danielricciardo: 😋😋😋

❤️: 560,274

-> youruser: danielricciardo😋😍

❤️: 560,213

redbulldanny: THATS DANIELS HAND, THEY’RE DATING I SWEAR

❤️: 52,252

user2: same milkshakes as Danny Ric??? It’s official.

❤️: 49,853

youruser

youruser: Boston, the city, the people, the life - you are kind❤️ Race number on and I am ready. Bring it on.

📍: Hopkinton

🏷️: bostonmarathon

❤️: bostonmarathon, emmajanelbates, kipchogeeliud and 2,921,520 others

💬:

danielricciardo: forever proud of you no matter what.

❤️: 784,382

bostonmarathon: the debut.

❤️: 624,924

nnrunningteam: show them what you are made of!!

❤️: 524,572

redbullracing: good luck yn!!!🥰

❤️: 482,972

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: here for you and only you. We know what you can do, my love. ❤️

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: bostonmarathon

❤️: bostonmarathon, maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 6,349,242 others

💬:

redbullracing: awww he’s smitten

❤️: 5,892,264

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing obvi🤭🙄

❤️: 5,920,247

user1: they’re defo dating

❤️: 56,824

-> user2: user1 100%

❤️: 49,735

maxverstappen1: you cold yet? (+ good luck Mrs Ricciardo)

❤️: 6,278,930

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 adrenaline keeping me warm I’m so nervous for her

❤️: 6,242,924

bostonmarathon: some celeb on celeb action we love to see it!!🥰

❤️: 5,834,024

bostonmarathon

bostonmarathon: history has been made. 2:17:54

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: youruser

❤️: danielricciardo, youruser and 15,678,235 others

💬:

emmajanelbates: THE BEST

❤️: 12,342,947

nnrunningteam: unbeatable.

❤️: 12,296,285

danielricciardo: WOOOOOOOOO

❤️: 13,582,582

read other 12,362,273 comments

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: A fucking record breaker❤️ been keeping this quiet for almost a year but this woman, my woman, my love, my life, has just make fucking history. I love you, my sweet, speedy girl. @/youruser

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: bostonmarathon, youruser

❤️: youruser, bostonmarathon, redbullracing and 18,253,295 others

💬:

redbullracing: she can have your seat next season

❤️: 17,654,974

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing she took my heart, might as well have my seat too.

❤️: 17,748,194

emmajanelbates: you better make her feel like the fucking Queen she is.

❤️: 16,375,284

-> danielricciardo: emmajanelbates believe me, once the DOMS are gone, I will. 😉

❤️: 17,274,294

youruser: couldn’t have done it without you❤️ I love you

❤️: 18,124,724

-> danielricciardo: youruser so proud my sweet girl❤️

❤️: 17,824,924

part 2?

#Daniel #ricciardo #danielricciardo #RedBull #racing #boston #marathon #Instagram #Instagram imagine #f1 driver #f1 drivers #f1 x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #running #boston marathon #fake texts #masterlist #xreader #smut #fluff #warner sister #dannyric #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x you #bostonmarathon #2023 #x reader #x you #yn #ynln

[luxthestrange]

WTDSIK Incorrect Quotes#34 Opera-sitting

Before you could seriously...injure the two demon men..Iruma woke up and managed to babble a phew words...stopping you in your tracks

Baby Iruma*Saw you and puffs his cheeks*N...NU! BU!

Baby Iruma*Patting Both Kalego and Balam's arms*AAEH EEP eeeEM!!

Y/n:...S-sweetie you can't keep them-

Baby Iruma*Pouts and shakes his head*AEEH EEP EEM!EEP EM!!

Y/n*Looking at the two demon men then at your son as you try to grab him but huddles closer to the two*Y-you can't keep them Iruma

Baby Iruma*Lips quiver as cheeks became redder his eyes getting teary*b-buh-

Kalego & Balam:!?!?

Y/n:!?!?!-okay-OKAY YOU CAN KEEP THEM!?!-

Opera*Who came in to make sure you didn't kill their kouhais,claps as they sees Iruma stand his ground*Excellent news, Now Iruma has two fathers, Lord Sullivan will be pleased...Why don't you three talk about it and I take Iruma-sama while you all properly meet*Grabs Iruma and holds him to their chest*

Y/n,Kalego & Balam:WHAAT!?!-*See that Opera run before any of them could retort*

-In the Sullivan Manor-

Baby Iruma*Happy squealing as he nuzzles into Opera's chest...given they always smells of snacks*OPEE!!!

Opera*taking the laundry out of the dryer with a baby Iruma on his chest*...*takes out a shirt and shacking the garment*

Baby Iruma*Giggling and sucking his thumb at the motion*

Opera*Bites lip to hold laughter and tries to do it again earning more giggles from the young human, chuckling at the contagious baby laugh*p-pfft~

Baby Iruma*laughs again clapping his hands at the clothes Opera takes out to shake in front of him, nuzzling into his cheek as Opera kisses his forehead*

Opera*Taking a breather till they grab the last item and shake it*

Baby Iruma*Gives him the biggest baby laugh ever as he losses it*

part 3 of:

#welcome to demon school x reader #welcome to demon school iruma kun #mairimashita! iruma kun x reader #mairimashita! iruma kun #m!ik x reader #m!ik x y/n #m!ik #kalego x reader x balam #naberius kalego x reader #kalego x reader #naberius kalego #m!ik kalego #balam x reader #balam shichiro x reader #balam shichirou #m!ik opera x reader #m!ik opera #opera x reader #opera #baby iruma #suzuki iruma #iruma suzuki #wtdsik incorrect quotes #m!ik incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

[castlevaniacentral]

The sunrise may never be mine

Chapter one.

𝘉𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦

It’s been a little bit over a few months after the incident with your mother. It was hard finding a life outside of the manor. To be fair you didn’t really find one. After all, you had been there since you were born.

Food was basically impossible to acquire, you only ate scales of trash you could find. Sometimes being able to grace some wild berries in the forest and don’t even get started on coin. People would rather rob you with your eyes wide open, making you perform free labour and scamming you out of your pay. Some even tried to rob you of the sleek amour that adorned your arms though when they attempted, it couldn’t removed.

Causing a pretty animated retort out of you, cause now you even wondered if you could remove this amour for yourself. So much for magical it was more of a pain the ass.

Though…as tedious as it was, it did help you hone some of the magic skills you felt had been within you. The night creatures you come across you were able to defeat some of them with your fist and power, the armour seems to give you a shield of some sort, making your hits more powerful with each hit your able to blast an attack.. a good combo for now though a piece of you seems to be missing a weapon of some sort… maybe once you’ve figured that out you can beat even more night creatures. And by more you only mean like 2 maybe at once..you don’t wanna push your luck now

Your skills are far from perfect but anyone with a good eye can see that your a diamond in the rough. And once you’re put together you’ll be unstoppable.

Hearing a loud growl emerge from your stomach you slightly bend over an arm over your stomach. your rosary dangling loosely from your body. You had learned over time traveling that crosses kept some vampires away, the steel and symbol sort of scares them a bit once they see you’re sort of adorned with it. Well this tactic has worked so far along your little journey.

Looking around, you kept your senses in high. After all you were still being sought out by the priest of the town, and he only way you’ve been dodging them is by staying in abandoned places and hiding with ash whenever they’re about to come into view. Next were the disgusting men that lingered near the bars, they were touchy and forceful. You’ve had your fair share of them you tended to just avoid those areas as much as you could.

Walking down the street you look for any stall that could have been open. The sun was about to set, and you were lucky if you did but you were just looking for some last minute food. A snack an apple would do, you only had one coin anyway

Stopping at a small shack you hold out the little shiny gold coin between your small fingertips, blinking owlishly you stare at the keeper of the rack “give me for this.” you tilted your head slightly your accent strong, but words put together as best you can form for the shop keeper to understand you. Raising a brow, the man hands you bread, it was hard and stale but it was all you could take at the time anyway.

Nodding your head at him you venture off. Taking a bite into the hard bread your hand still wrapped around ash’s rein, glancing at your dark horse you put some of the bread to its mouth watching it eat curiously “good.” You say followed by a small pat of his snout.

“Aye You there!”

You suddenly pause in your tracks, the voice of a man calling from the distance. “You’re the witch from the manor!”

Wasting no time you haul yourself up onto ash who obediently waits for you to settle on him before obeying your pull, “run boy” you say hastily as your horse takes off into the woods into the night. You clutch tightly to the bread in your hand as the thunder rumbles through the sky.

Now you were in danger.

No where close to civilization, there was no shelter from the night creatures or the rain. You would probably die of the cold first you’d think you’d die from the cold first. But from the low hisses of the creatures in the bushes. You instantly knew your doom could be now.

Pulling ash’s rein harder you ushered him forward “faster!” You say before a creature emerges from the dark launching itself at you and the horse. It’s wings ripped through the air with quickness before talons sprawled out snatching you swiftly off the horse before you could even respond.

Ash neighed loudly following were the creature was taking you. Kicking your feet through the air you readied your hand firing a fireball at the creature forcing it let you go, you violently tumbled to the ground. For some reason, your body just loved being thrown down there. The sounds of ashes hooves hitting the ground caught your attention. You just wanted him to be safe. Just then the rain began to pour heavy.

You immediately stood up, the creature launching itself at you swiftly once more. This one was much faster than the ones you’ve encountered, what’s even worse is it was extremely noisy it seemed to be summoning more of the night creatures as you heard growls emerge from the darkness.

Now you were in serious crap. You dodged the night creature throwing yourself to the side, it aimed for ash but luckily you were fast enough to send an attack of rocks towards it. Alright so you could control the earth around you but this was really physically draining.

Taking off you ran forward “ash run boy!” You yelled out running quickly as the horse took off without you. Good, ash was all you had you didn’t want to lose him too.

Running for shelter you tried to avoid the monsters that closed in on you they launched their attacks you barely missed them by an inch. But now you were becoming very battered and tired from throwing yourself around. And your magic felt like it was running out, you physically felt tired and exasperated. Finally the creature landed a blow sending you flying for what felt like miles, you hit the ground and felt the wind knock cold out of you

You heard the sounds of ash’s neigh in the distance “don’t come back no!” You groaned out before standing up sheepishly both beast and creature coming towards you with speed. Holding a hand up to cover your head you waited for your demise.

Which didn’t come, instead you only heard the sounds of metal cutting through the flesh of the creatures that had been attacking you. Opening your eyes you stared, it was alone sword.

Moving in it’s own, it glided through the air gracefully slashing the monsters to bits. You took a shaky step back the blood spraying over your face and tattered tunic. You looked down at your hands, the rain washing the blood of you just as fast as it came.

That wasn’t you no way. But just then the weapon flew towards you to about to slice you next. stepping off to the side you hold your arm out to block the sword, the metal clashing against the sliver of your arm in response.

“You’re a witch, what business do you hold here?”

You stumbled back pressing your back against the tree as a resort for safety. The armour on your hands began to lighten up. strangely so as if it had been close to another fragment of it.

“Not a witch!” You shout before holding out your hands defensively. The man that stood before you almost sent you into awe, he wasn't quite like any human you've seen before. your eyebrows softened for a slight moment showing your weakness before you regained composure. He was one of them he had to be.

He would put you in shackles once again and you refused to be in that state again

“Well you reek of it.”

You summoned the last little energy of power, raising your hands; sending more stones towards his way. Not only did he gracefully doge it, he did it with ease too. The sword almost acting on impulse impaled your side, the deep gash causing you to grunt out in pain.

“Not a witch! Looking for Safety…” you drop to the ground clutching your side. You had taken a harsh beating from the beasts now you had to deal with him.

Tasting that familiar metallic taste you hold your head down shaking slightly holding the wound as tightly as you can to not bleed out. Your vision was beginning to become blurry. “Burn me at the stake…then” you blurt out sarcastically

Was this it? We’re you going to die here pathetically in front of a man who kind of saved you from the beast just to slay you by his own hands? “Spare Ash” you cough out. Before laying down on your side, the blonde haired male approaches you

Slowly the sword is withdrawn and back at his side again. His tone doesn’t change as he opened his mouth to speak again, and you dare not to glance up to meet his gaze, “I do not know who you’re referring to.”

“horse” you say quietly before closing your eyes. your hand limply falls to the ground causing a low sigh to escape the Blonde males lips as he stares at your small frame.

“I should help her.” Hearing the neigh of ash he rolls his eyes, “this is what you called my attention to?” He Scoffs in response to the horses persistence. “Relax she isn’t dead. I just did her a favour and myself one as well”

Walking over your “lifeless” body he picks you up slinging you over his shoulder to carry you to the castle, but suddenly you sit up rutting him square in the jaw with your elbow. His head twists within the action his blonde hair clouding his expression from your vision.

Unexpected.

You struggle in his grasp before feeling a hard hit in the back of your neck the cold metal feeling was only brief, because the world around you instantly went dark.

Now you were definitely out.

“Stubborn…I applaud you for actually getting a hit in.” He muttered out the sword falling to his side, before flawlessly gliding into its scabbard casing.

walking towards the castle. Ash followed behind closely “Your owner, she’ll be a pain in the ass when she awakes”

#alucard castlevania #alucard tepes x reader #alucard x reader #castlevania

[toptierteaser]

The Reason Why You're FAT and What We're Going to Have to Do about it.

A Poem, by TopTierTeaser

It’s the burgers that you’ve been Shake-Shacking,

That have sent your fitness goals backtracking.

All the exercise that you have been lacking,

Which makes you feel like you’ve been backpacking,

When those fat rolls of yours start meatpacking.

All the calories which you’ve been packing,

Like the cupcakes on which you’ve been snacking,

And the pepper your mouth has been jacking,

The donuts your fat face was attacking,

Which has caused your lard ass to start cracking,

Those scales—you fat fuck!—that you’re whacking,

With those pounds your body has been racking.

But the self-control that you’ve been lacking,

And the jogging on which you’ve been slacking,

The binge eating you just can’t start tracking,

That has made your pudge truly nerve-wracking.

Sure! Blame the pancakes the diner’s been stacking,

See how folks run when you start to backing?

No, you don’t cause lately you’ve been blacking,

Out of notice when you start fast-tracking,

Fatty foods you gorge over hopsacking.

Now, I’m certain you’re no longer hacking,

The capacity to go kayaking,

Though, I’m sure you’d be ‘fit’ for linebacking,

A slow player at that, but who’s tracking?

But, if I can’t fix you with my flacking,

Or that fat ass I just can’t stop smacking,

And to stop your compulsive ransacking,

Of the pantries you can’t stop attacking?

I’ll make you take me piggybacking!

#gaining weight #teaser #bhm weight gain #chubby #fatass #fatty #fat belly #fat bhm #feedee encouragement #fatboy

[inkykeiji]

can you do #16 pasttime with sd!nat shouto please? 💙

prompt: past time series: sugar daddy natsuo warnings: use of the word daddy, touya being touya briefly mentioned, APD mention words: 1k

The sun is just beginning its descent below the horizon by the time you arrive, smearing the sky with strokes of pink and orange. The dense scent of burnt rubber infuses the air, and your nose wrinkles cutely as you exit Shouto’s Aston Martin. He laughs, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he leads you toward the entrance, gravel popping beneath the rubber of your sneakers.

Jaku Go-Karts. 

It’s a dingy little place now, rundown and ruined by the passage of time, but Shouto loves it all the same. 

The concrete is cracked, stained with crisscrossing skid marks from rubber burnt. The thick tractor tires that line the racetrack are worn and fraying; scars they bear from constant abuse. That shitty little snack-shack, pitched off to the side of the speedway as though thrown in as an afterthought, is still the same; all white chipping paint and stale funnel cakes, with the old arcade having shrunk to a mere three units, all unheard of, screens washed out and flickering. 

Even after twenty odd years, the track hasn’t changed a bit, and Shouto knows every twist, every curve, every fork, the route seared into the tissues of his brain with such accuracy that he’s sure he could drive the whole course with his eyes blindfolded. 

“This was one of our favourite past times, when we were kids,” he tells you as he rests his wrists on the chainlink fence, notes of melancholy in his tone.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was one of the few things we all loved doing, together.”

“Even Touya?”

“Even Touya,” Shouto nods, pausing for a moment as a memory flashes through his mind, then exhaling a snort through a sardonic little smirk. “Granted, I’m sure Touya enjoyed this mostly because he got to repeatedly run me off the track.”

“Why am I not surprised,” you respond dryly. 

The image of three Todoroki boys materializes in your head; Touya already the smallest, his younger brothers towering over him, but still the ringleader nevertheless, marching onto the track with their souped up go-karts—Touya’s plastered with crude stickers, peeling and veiny; Natsuo’s all clean lines and glistening paint; Shouto’s full of dents and dings, paint scraped in sharp strokes, revealing the silver metal beneath. 

It must’ve been nice, even if only for a moment; a short instance where they all got along, despite a few bumps and patches, co-existing in some semblance of semi-peaceful, enjoying a singular activity, together. 

“It was a rare, acceptable method to torture me.” 

And although Shouto’s voice is wry, there’s a small smile on his face, eyes glazed with nostalgia-tinged memories—hazy, soft, coated in sugar.  

“Once, my kart even caught on fire. Natsuo pulled me from it before any real damage was done,” his gaze shifts downward, blunt nails picking at his cuticles, huffing out a mangled imitation of a chuckle. “Touya was so angry he didn’t talk to him for days. Said he ruined a perfect instance of ‘poetic justice’. Said it was divine intervention, and he should’ve just let it play out.”

“That’s terrible,” you breathe.

“That’s Touya,” Shouto shrugs with a weary acceptance. 

“So he’s always been a sociopath, then.”

That gets Shouto to laugh, sweet smile dispelling most of the despondence from his face, gaze flicking to yours through the corner of his eye. “Technically, he couldn’t have been diagnosed with ASPD just yet. He was only about fifteen or so. But yeah, he’s always been messed up.” 

Questions itch on your tongue, and you fold it in on itself, pressing it to the roof of your mouth in an attempt to smother them. 

Why was it only him? Daddy and Shouto and Fuyumi have their issues, sure, but doesn’t everyone? Maybe their personality flaws are a bit more severe than the average person’s, but that can be brushed off and explained by the fact that they were raised by a billionaire, can’t it? They all grew up under the same roof, so why is Touya so much worse? 

Your tongue flattens, then curls over your teeth, sucking for a moment before slowly scraping against the edges. It’s none of your business, and it shouldn’t matter anyway. 

“Enough about Touya,” you demand with a wave of your hand. “We came here to race, didn’t we?” 

Laughing again, Shouto shakes his head, fondness settling in his eyes. “Yeah, sweetheart, we came to race.”

“I’m gonna leave you in the dust!”

“Bold statement to make to a seasoned pro,” he quips. 

In the end, you do leave Shouto in the dust, but only because he allows you to, slowing down around wide corners and crashing into sharp turns on purpose as you whiz past him. Nevertheless, it’s still fun, your cheeks sore from incessant smiling and your throat raw from grating laughs and screams, and he still treats you to ice cream, just like he promised he would if you beat him—Don’t tell your Daddy, okay? He’d flip if he knew you were having sweets before dinner—the tips of your fingers encrusted with glittering sugar from the sugar cones, mouths stained blue and pink from the artificial dyes. 

You’re practically falling asleep in his arms by the time he gets you back to Natsuo, who coos and quickly takes you from his little brother, his most precious possession being returned to him. 

And after you’ve been washed and brushed and put to bed, Natsuo sits down with Shouto, sweating crystal glasses filled with whiskey and ice in their palms, and asks him why he did it. 

“Why I did what? You asked me to take her out, give her a good time, and I did. As I always do.”

Natsuo fixes him with a look, features flat and unimpressed. “You know that’s not what I’m asking. Why did you bring her there, of all places?” 

Swirling amber in his hand, Shouto shrugs, staring at his glass and clinking ice against the sides. 

“I thought it’d be nice, you know, to make new memories there. We loved it so much when we were kids and I—I didn’t want to lose that. I won’t lose that.” He looks up, mismatched eyes shining in the dim light of Natsuo’s study. “It’s time we start reclaiming some things.” 

#todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shoto fluff #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x you #todoroki fluff #loved this sooooo much anon it was so fun!!! #thank u for sending this in!! #pls have a fabulous day and stay safe + hydrated!! #sd!nat universe #inky.bb #clari gets mail

[nuclearforest]

1- How good and dilfy is briar's dad to have so much fae pussy?

2- How often does she write to her siblings, and how is she able to send the letters?

3- Whats going on with Briar having clipped wings?

4-did Briar ever use that advice from Sabine? Is that how she earned so many pups?

5- headcanons for briarett as first time parents

HELL YEAH HOMIEEEE ty I'm gonna write so much shit

And please y'all: go show Rotten @rotten-hearts-sharp-teeth some love for Barrett because he needs his time to shine.

1. Briar actually has 2 dads and 2 moms. Polyamory isn't all that weird in fae circles (primarily elven and fairy) because they're tasty little morsels and if one parent is snapped up like the snack they are, you gotta hope for some additional stability. If anything, it's the norm.

That said, out of Briar's fathers (tentatively named Georgiy and Roman), Georgiy is definitely DILFy. Her folks were all part of a flood of fae that fled Eastern Europe in the human world around 1917 in the upheaval of WWI and the Russian Revolution. They were kids at the time, but they settled in a pocket of fae in what was largely predator territory. Georgiy may only have about average human strength, but he's a tough old man and carries it with him well after the parent poly unit moves much closer to the fairy capital in fae Scotland, a much safer place.

2. Briar wants to be where the people are. And as a result, she's gotta deal with writing to a world with a much lower state of technology but much greater magic. (Really, the difference is large in part to being unable to handle raw iron.)

To send it, she describes it as "sealing it with a kiss" because the letter will always find its recipient. In reality, there are little gremlin creatures that live in the machines at post offices and steal anything that smells like a fae letter. They move back and forth between worlds with ease and all they want in pay are paper scraps to eat. Before post office sorting machines, the critters would dig through piles of mail by hand.

3. Most fairies are not born winged as they cannot actually fly. That would be pixies, the much smaller variant. But when a fairy does have wings, it has been historically tracked to the ability to bear children for creatures outside the fae race.

It's a bit of a showy defense mechanism like "if you can't beat them-- breed them." Tooth faries, for example, are crosses between fairies and goblins. Orc and troll crosses would be the most common and would usually result in political marriages and children that keep some level of peace and prevent too many fae snacks. When a fairy does breed, the children often take most of the non-fairy genetics as dominant. There's a prevailing theory in the fae world that most lost their wings following excessive breeding with humans.

Now that said! Being born with wings puts a proverbial target on your back. "The winged are destined to leave" and "The winged will be cursed with love for other species." All good and fair things to be wary of, but the fae court can and will take winged fairies to raise if they want to marry them off in the future.

So when Briar was born, her parents panicked and immediately docked her wings to save her some the same fate. But then she went to the human world and decided to shack up with a werewolf, so there's that.

4. Lmao folks will only learn about Sabine's not so motherly advice on how to blow your werewolf when Rotten finishes her stories and I can publish. The short answer, though, is yes. And Briar does get pretty good at sucking Barrett's soul clean out.

5. Ohhh ty for this one. The first baby is a learning curve for both of them! Fortunately Briar's mothers and her younger sister come by to help Briar recover from a werepup birth. Barrett may be feeling awfully cramped in his home, but Briar needs it because the baby was MASSIVE. Takes after dad.

They're both really good parents though. The baby is almost always in somebody's hold and baby wearing is common in the house.

The most tender moments are feeding baby. Barrett takes a centuries old watch position and Briar gets to relax during the process. Since Barrett is very instinctually guided, the learning curve isn't that hard to master. Sometimes, if he's in charge of getting the baby settled after a feeding, he will joke "you're welcome" to the baby after a big burp.

He's also extremely good at taking care of both her and baby. The most tender of holds for bathtime. No request is too far. Is always ready to cuddle up.

Thinks everything is going great until baby #2 comes right on the heels of the first. Breeding kink went a little too hard. And no, Briar may know better on the timing as a Dr but can't really help herself either.

#mun rambles #hellsing ultimate #hellsing oc #bunny briar #werewolf barrett

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Nárkosi (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- Calm Mother by the people of Olympius

Mama by her daughter

Age- 35 (immortal)

Location- Arcadia, Olympius

Personality- A minor deity in the pantheon, she's not ashamed of her position- being easygoing & carefree. She approaches all things in life with a calm and collected attitude while being very empathetic towards others. She's currently in an open relationship.

She has the standard abilities of a goddess. Being the goddess of sedation her other powers/abilities include invisibility (herself, objects, & other people), limited hypnosis, sedative inducement (can tranquilize any organism into a somnolent state), and extrasensory perception.

Nárkosi is the mother to Pasithea (goddess of hallucinations & relaxation). She had her daughter on her own by way of Gaia's fertility services. The two are as close as any mother/daughter- often times she'll call her daughter "my blood." Ever since Nárkosi moved out of the city, they mainly keep in touch through writing letters (since she doesn't believe in using modern technology). Pasithea will also stop by the commune where her mom now lives to stay over for a couple of weeks.

Before the drastic lifestyle change, she lived in a small cottage in the Hearthwood neighborhood of New Olympus. Nárkosi worked closely with her good friend Epione (goddess of soothing pain) as it related to anesthesiology & sedation. That was her main source of income. She couldn't explain the shift for the sudden need for change, but it eventually happened.

There's a pendant necklace of a larimar gemstone (from her daughter) that she always wears.

Nárkosi now lives (in a small cabin house) and is a part of Pan's naturalist commune located in Arcadia. Often nicknames "The Agrotases", the community is generally peaceful & laidback with the key principles being trust, community, and sharing. The commune is open to anyone of any creed, but the general population include satyrs, centaurs, mortals (especially lotus eaters), & dryads.

A go-to drink for her is hibiscus tea that she brews herself, often adding a bit of honey to it. Other go-to drinks for her include aloe vera juice, water, matcha tea, coconut water, homemade dragonfruit-lychee juice, ceylon black tea, chamomile tea, & pu'er tea. She also likes the chai milk bubble tea from Pan's juice shack.

A guilty pleasure that Nárkosi will never give up are the almond poppy seed muffins from Hollyhock's Bakery. She also enjoys the pot brownies made by Juniper, a dryad nymph that's part of the commune.

She loves snacking on goji berries! An often treat for her are toasted wheat bread slices spread with apricot preserves and cashew butter.

In the pantheon Nárkosi is also friends with Pathos (god of emotion), Karme (demi-goddess of the harvest), Mesembria (Bria) (goddess of the afternoon), Auge (goddess of first daylight), The Nesoi (sister island goddesses), Nymphe (goddess of self-care), Paean (goddess of physicians), Arktos (goddess of the night sky & constellations), Selene (Titaness of the moon), Eváeros (goddess of air & the zodiacs), Ioke (goddess of pursuit, tumult, & battle rout), Demeter (goddess of the harvest & agriculture), Apheleia (goddess of simplicity), Elais (goddess of oil), Aegle (goddess of good health), Thilasmós (goddess of nursing), Ichnaea (goddess of tracking), Hesperis (goddess of the evening & sunset), Livádi (goddess of meadows), & Hesychia (goddess of quiet, stillness, rest, & silence). She greatly admires Gaia (goddess of the earth) and Tethys (Titaness of freshwater & clouds). Nárkosi was the mentor to Aergia (goddess of sloth, idleness, & laziness). She also likes her daughter's boyfriend Hypnos (god of sleep).

She's well practiced and versed in pressure point martial arts!

She's a frequent user of pot, lotus dust, shrooms "magic mushrooms", & lotus tiles.

Eváeros gifted her a Diamond Ave. blue butterfly shaped jeweled clutch.

Nárkosi (along with the other inhabitants of the commune) is vegan. She and a few of the ladies are sometimes responsible for the mass preparation & cooking of meals which is often served and eaten at the main hall. Some of her personal favorite dishes include vegetable pastitsio, one pot spaghetti (added with basil, sundried tomatoes, chopped walnuts, & bell peppers), one pot sticky rice (added with sliced cucumbers, shallots, & honey glazed tofu), balsamic kale salad with roasted red onions, butternut squash soup, and soft shell roasted cauliflower tacos.

She's a longtime lover of Pan (god of the wild, satyrs, shepherds, & rustic music). She doesn't mind that he has other lovers & is sure of the bond they share. Nárkosi is even friendly with a few of them (and the children they have with him). She in fact has a lover of her own- a mortal man named Arrian who lives a few houses down.

In her free time she enjoys surfing, bike riding, gardening, tai chi, aerial yoga, horseback riding, acupuncture, swimming, aromatherapy, reading, knitting, jewelry making, pottery, sewing, archery, football (soccer), & drawing.

"Tranquility is a choice. So is anxiety. The entire world all around may be in turmoil, but if we want to be peaceful within, we can."

#my oc #original character #my original oc #oc character #my character #my oc character #oc intro #character intro #oc introduction #character introduction #modern greek gods #modern greek mythology #greek myth retellings #greek goddess #greek goddesses

[cool-in-forest-hills-ny]

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Citi Field

Citi Field in Queens is best known for hosting New York Mets baseball games. It's one of the places to visit while you're in Queens. Attending a game offers an exciting experience with classic ballpark snacks and an enthusiastic crowd. The stadium also offers behind-the-scenes tours, showcasing areas like the press box and batting cages. In addition to traditional food options, Citi Field provides diverse choices, including Shake Shack burgers and Mikkeller NYC craft beer. Visitors can explore the Mets Hall of Fame and Museum to learn about the team's history and legendary players. Apart from baseball, the stadium hosts concerts and special events such as charity runs and family fun days. Whether it's game day or not, Citi Field offers visitors a variety of entertainment options.

A powerful storm caused trees to topple in NYC

Heavy rain and strong winds caused numerous downed trees in New York City, leaving many residents without power. However, the prompt action of the crews, who began removing the trees early Thursday morning, reassured the residents that their power would be restored and streets would be open to traffic soon. This storm left streets littered with debris, and trees crashed down on cars, closing down streets and knocking out power for many. Due to the severe weather conditions, the New York City Parks Department received 95 reports of downed trees citywide. As of Thursday morning, about 3500 Bronx residents are without power, and in Westchester, nearly 10,000 customers are without power. Wind gusts also brought a tree down on another car on Manhattan's Upper West Side. Despite these challenges, the crews' prompt action instills confidence in the city's ability to recover swiftly.

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[lunamidnight]

November 26th

Fanfiction/Original Fiction

First created: Aug. 2015

Last updated: Aug 2015

General Premise: a short thing of an oc in gravity falls.

Other notes: kinda fell out of this one honestly.

It was early afternoon as young Dipper Pines walked along a path following some worn out tracks supposedly made by the great beast that the town has been yammering on about. So while he walked he was occasionally looking in the journal he had with him, finding the best description to be werewolves.”there are two kinds of these unique beast, pure breeds, and half breeds...huh.”Dipper read aloud before looking at the known details of each one.

“pure breeds - human by day, wolf by night, the older the wolf to more likely it can stand on two legs in wolf form. dangerous foes, and worthy allies. Carnivorous mainly but may snack on berries and other plant life if needed.” Dipper read aloud before reading the next part.

“half breeds - half human, half wolf, may hide traits, and most of the time has an avoidance to one kind of meat over all others, ie: fish or pork.” dipper said before humming in thought before continuing”only able to turn into a full wolf on a night of a full moon. weaknesses for all werewolves: silver. huh i was expecting something surprising- ah!” 

Dipper said before tripping in one of the prints, and dropping the journal ahead of him. he pushed himself up just in time for to hear”are you ok?” He looked ahead of him to see no one.”up here”the voice called causing him to look up into a nearby tree, on one of the branches sat a girl looking down at him.The girl had black hair underneath a dark gray hat,a dark blue shirt, dark jeans with a black skirt over the back of her waist. 

“hey i asked if you’re ok?” she asked again since he didn’t respond at first, staring at her in confusion”how in the world...did you get up there?” Dipper asked abruptly.”i climbed?”the girl replied lifting the rope she used to get up to her perch.”why?” he asked “why are you answering my question?” the girl replied smartly. 

Dipper stopped himself and smacked his forehead ”sorry...that was rude...i’m fine, thanks for asking.” he replied “hello i’m fine i’m Fairby, nice to meet you” Fairby replied with a laugh.”sorry i had the chance so i took it, anyways back to your question, i’m collecting berries for my mom” she replied. 

Dipper blinked at the joke before chuckling himself.”hehe good one, really my name is Dipper Pines, nice to meet you Fairby, uh...why way up there, isn’t there plenty on lower levels?” He asked “there is but little known fact the higher the berries are the juicier and cleaner they are.” fairby explained pulling off a small branch on berries and placing them in a bag, before moving to slide down the rope.

Once she reached the bottom, she tied the rope to a lower branch so she could use it later.”well nice to meet you Dipper Pines, You wouldn’t happen to be related somehow to the old guy that owns the mystery shack would you?” Fairby asked curiously.”oh yeah me and my twin sister mabel are his great nephew and niece, were visiting for the summer.”Dipper replied.

”oh that so awesome, i’ve been wanting to check it out, and maybe make some friends or something.” Fairby replied before letting out a sigh "Well you can come by sometime and hang out with us. Mabel loves new friends." Dipper replied.”I’ll have to do that soon, but not today i have to get these berries back home, but maybe tomorrow” Fairby replied.

“yeah, well see you tomorrow”Dipper said smiling a little.”see ya” she said before walking away through the trees. “now where was I…”dipper said to himself looking down at the floor to see where the tracks lead, however there were no more tracks, the last set of tracks looked deeper than any of the previous sets. 

Dipper frowned in disappointment before he picked up his journal and looked inside. after rereading the page he pulled out a small black light and looked over the page again. “were wolves have a keen sense of smell, incredible eyesight, ability to heal their own wounds, fantastic runners, and some of the older pure breeds are agile jumpers.” dipper read. “awww it jumped…”he said whining and making his voice crack slightly before he put the journal away and headed back to the shack.

~

#writing #writing ideas #nanowrimo #national novel writing month #gravity falls

[femboyhorror]

i've grown tired of this body - fall apart without me body

【A/N: cross-posted from my ao3! if you enjoy this feel free to check out my other works and consider buying me a coffee maybe. :3 this one shot came out of the blue. as you can probably guess by now this is just one big vent one shot that started out just being me wanting to make a fic about trans!dipper dealing with his period while i was having to deal with mine and ended up spiraling into me projecting my own experiences with my parents being awful and transphobic onto sir dippingsauce here and imagining what'd it be like having a found family. tw ahead for some impled/references child abuse of the verbal kind, transphobia from dipper's a+ parents, some semi graphic descriptions of the fun times that come with menstruation and one use of the word queer. (it's not used in the context of bigotry, btw!) big shout out to anyone out there dealing with the red beast, to my fellow cisn't individuals who may deal with it. i hope life is kind to you, that you have some rad people you can turn to comfort or at least get to have some nice snacks during these trying times. 】

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The bus carrying him back to the forests of Oregon rattles and shakes as it makes track across the winding roads. By the second hour he's feeling a decent amount of claustrophobia, his legs wave back and forth with a need to get up and walk and a spring in the seat he was in had popped out and was just scratching at him enough that it made him want to scream.

And yet despite the minor discomforts, a sense of comfort washes over him when he sees the familiar towering pine trees slowly replace the long stretching plains in the window. It was a feeling that he'd sorely missed throughout the last ten months and was never more evident until he saw the green of those trees. By the time the old weathered sign passed by, proudly proclaiming 'Welcome to Gravity Falls', a full smile spreads across his face. One that he didn't need to look to know that his sister shared with him.

They were finally back in Gravity Falls.

They were finally home.

Ignoring the shouted reminder from the bus driver to wait until the bus had fully stopped, the mystery twin duo practically flew out of their seats and rushed off the bus with their suitcases in hand and - in Mabel's case - pet pig at their side. By the bus stop, sporting warm smiles, were their Grunkles Stan and Ford.

"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford!" The twins had greeted them in near unison. The two opened their arms just in time for their niblings to practically tackle them in a big hug tight enough to make a few parts of Stan's back in particular pop courtesy of Mabel.

"Whoa whoa there kids, you tryin' to kill your old man?!" Protested the old con-man, though his own smile betrayed his joy to see the two. Eventually the group hug came to an end and Stan helped the twins put their luggage into the Stanleymobile.

"Welcome back, my boy." These words, spoken to Dipper in a gentle, caring tone, made a wave of emotion swell in his heart and he barely kept himself from crying right then and there as he replied,

"I'm glad to be back."

'My boy' he thinks with pride.

Because that's who he was here. In Gravity Falls he wasn't expected to be the quiet and polite little girl. Instead he was a beloved great nephew. He was a protecting twin brother. He was Dipper Pines and the sense of joy he feels when he thinks this brings some tears of relief to his eyes.

If Ford notices his sudden burst of emotion then he chooses not to comment on it to Dipper's relief, and Stan soon pipes up as they all pile into his old car.

"Alright, I don't know about you guys but I'm hungry enough to eat one of those multi-headed cows. Why don't we go back to the shack so I can make us some…"

"Stancakes?" Mabel guesses with a bright smile.

"That's right! And Mabel's helping me out this time since Ford's still banned from the kitchen."

"For cosmo's sake, Stanley, the last time I burnt anything was months ago!"

"Yeah, and I still have no idea how you managed to set the entire kitchen on fire just by pouring cereal!"

"Oooh, good thing I brought my special rainbow glitter!"

"Pumpkin, that glitter is edible, right?"

Dipper relaxed during the car ride home, comfortably letting himself get lost in the familiar family banter and, at least for the moment, letting himself drift off and forget about all the pain from Piedmont.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

Breakfast back at the Shack was, as expected with the Pines, a lively affair. Mabel, naturally, manages to make her own Stancakes into what Dipper could only describe as a rainbow colored death wish of syrup and sprinkles with perhaps some renments of pancakes in there but he couldn't tell for sure. The four of them conversed about stories from their time apart, from their grunkles tales of their sea-faring adventures to Mabel providing stories from school such as amusing misadventures and some extracurricular activities they had gotten into.

Dipper tried to chime in as well, though he was somewhat distracted by a dull ache that had come up occassionally over the past few days. Radiating from his lower stomach area, it made it hard for Dipper to focus and he could barely manage to eat more than a single pancake despite having not eating anything that morning.

At one point he catches Ford giving him a look of concern but he simply waves him off, mouthing a silent 'I'm fine' to him.

Not long after breakfast was finished the twins took to their old room in the Mystery Shack's attic to unpack as their great uncle's assured them they could handle the dishes on their own.

"Hey, Dipper…?" Mabel's words, spoken in a tone unusually soft for the bubbly girl, break through the silence in the attic. "Don't you think we should tell Stan and Ford what ha-?"

"No." He quickly cuts in, harsher than he meant to and he immediately feels guilty but he doesn't doesn't doesn't want to think about Piedmont yet. "I just… I'm not ready… I just want to be Dipper a little longer…" The last part was barely above a whisper but still cuts through the silent attic like a shotgun blast.

"You are Dipper. To me, and to Ford and Stan. Nothing will ever make then treat you otherwise." The words 'unlike mom and dad' hang in the air, unsaid but understood by both twins. He wants to believe her, wants to trust that he'll always be seen as their great nephew but the echoing words of their parents make him falter.

"I will tell them, just…" He takes a deep, shaky breath. "…just not yet."

A beat passes and he almost expects Mabel to tell him that he should know by now to trust family, to tell him that honesty was the best policy and that he won't have to feel this weight on his chest if he just opened up to them.

"That's alright, just tell them when you're ready." She said instead.

The guilt remains.

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The dawn of what Mabel has dubbed their first official day of summer begins with the dull ache from before now returning as the sharp pain of many needles as well as an unwelcome crimson visitor.

And while Dipper had expected to have to deal with good old shark week after the pseudo-cramps he'd been feeling for the last few days it still never made the day it finally started any less difficult. As if he hadn't had a hard enough time with dysphoria before returning to Gravity Falls the world seemed to have it out for Dipper with a wholly unwanted visitor would add insult to injury.

But, after some extra time cleaning himself in the bathroom, he resolves to push away the pain and stress and makes his way down the creaky stairs of the Shack in a slow and shaky manner…

..and is immediately greeted by the distinct smell of smoke. Confused and maybe a little bit panicked, he follows the scent to the kitchen where he discovers the source; a pan of half charred yet somehow also half raw eggs. Holding the pan was Mabel, unsuccessfully trying to salvage the mess with Stan standing by. By Dipper's guess he was trying to teach Mabel to cook with… mixed results. Smiling at the duo's antics, he takes a seat at the table where he spots his great uncle Ford, nursing a cup of coffee and seemingly entirely unbothered by the disaster that is Stan's cooking lesson.

"Good morning, my boy." He greets Dipper with a kind smile, and the gender euphoria of being called 'my boy' is almost enough to make him forget about his current pain and discomfort. Keyword: almost. Seeming to notice this, Ford furrows his brows in a concerned manner. "Are you feeling quite alright, Dipper? You look pale?"

"Oh, uh, I'm fine, Grunkle Ford, just tired is all…" He lied, forcing himself to pick up and bite into an apple despite how little he wanted to eat just to further prove he was alright. As he robotically chews into the apple Ford continues talking.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to accompany me on a little walk to check on the forests around here, but if you're not feeling well…"

"Nononononono! We can go for a walk!" He quickly cuts in to Ford's owlish surprise. As much as he - in his current state of mild to extreme pain - wanted to spend the day in bed reading, the idea of being alone in the attic felt awful. Even if the cramps would kill him, he really wants to spend more time with his great uncle.

"Alright then, we can go after breakfast if that's alright with you?" Dipper forces his pain away to smile back to Ford.

"Y-yeah! Sounds great, I'll go grab my shoes."

And so Ford watched his great nephew run out of the kitchen, and he frowns at the barely eaten apple as a sense of growing worry settles in his gut.

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The Gravity Falls forests were always a beauty to be able to behold. From the fantastical sorts of creatures and flora that called the woodland their home to even the more mundane sorts of plants and animals that shared the forest with the strange. This morning was no different as the sunlight filtered through the treetops above lit the forest in a soft light that made the whole place feel nothing short of enchanting.

Ford lead the way through the forest, chattering casually about the different points of interest and pointing out some of the newer pieces of intrigue that he thinks his great nephew will enjoy. And as hard as Dipper tries to focus on following and nodding along he can barely concentrate on his great uncle's words through the haze of pain he was drowning in.

After a few minutes of this that feel more like hours, Ford comes to a stop and looks back to Dipper, a frown speaking to deep worry on his face.

"Dipper, are you absolutely sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if you're ever hurt or sick, right?" Dipper had to near bite on the inside of his mouth to keep himself together. The genuine care his great uncle was showing him combined with the guilt he felt at ruining their walk on top of the pain that was still radiating through him made it hard to hold back the tears.

He wants to tell Ford that he was fine, maybe blame it on sleepiness again and keep walking, but a particularly sharp stabbing feeling hits and all he can do is lean pathetically against a nearby tree, trying to breathe through the sudden pain.

"Dipper! You need to tell me what's…" His great uncle's shout of alarm slowly trails off and it wasn't too long until the realization of why fills Dipper with pure shame. Running down his legs were bright red trails of his period blood.

He wants to disappear. He wants nothing more than a spontaneous bottomless pit to form underneath him and take him away right then and there. Unfortunately for him no such pits appear and he can only settle for locking his gaze onto the forest floor. Despite having outgrown the hero worship he held for his great uncle that fateful summer, Ford was still someone he held high respect and admiration for. And now that he's seen Dipper in such an embarrassing position - bleeding on himself in the middle of the woods - he doesn't know if he can ever face him again. He could only imagine the look of disappointment, disgust even.

His thoughts of self-loathing are cut off by a hand laid on his shoulder.

"Dipper, please look at me. I'm not mad at you, I just need you to tell me what's wrong." His great uncle's voice oddly seems to hold none of the disappointment or disgust he had expected. He chances a look up and Ford's expression was not one of frustration but one of a deep concern but also a look of knowing.

"It's… a lot to explain… can we go back to the Shack first?" He curses the way his voice wobbles as he voices this but Ford doesn't seem to mind, only nodding before helping him walk the short way back. No other words are exchanged on the way back and Dipper is quick to duck into the bathroom to clean himself up. A quick shower later and he leaves the bathroom to find a bottle of pain medication left on a nearby table along with a glass of water. A brief smile crosses Dipper's face as he can easily guess who left the items.

Soon enough the four Pines were all brought together in the kitchen as Dipper prepared for another difficult conversation, inwardly praying to a god he didn't believe in for things to go better the second time around.

"…My name wasn't always Dipper…" He slowly began, trying to relax his tense shoulders. "Growing up, I always felt like there was something wrong about me. I hated being called by my birthname, hated being called a girl. My parents would tell me that all girls feel that way, but it was more than that. Eventually I start to realize that I maybe wasn't a girl at all…" He chances a look back up at Stan and Ford to see their reactions. A part of him expected to see judgement but instead the two of them are attentive, waiting for Dipper to continue. Feeling a boost of confidence from this, he speaks again.

"I ended up discovering the term transgender, and right then I felt like things suddenly started to make sense. The way I've been feeling, the way I saw myself… and when my parents told me and Mabel that we were going to be going to visit a new town full of new people for the summer, I realized that was the perfect chance for me to try out being a boy for the first time. And that summer ended up being the first time in my life I felt like I was able to be myself." Just thinking about that first magical summer brought a smile to Dipper's face. He remembers the way his hands shook when he first introduces himself as Dipper. As Mabel's twin brother. Remembers the trials and tribulations he went through the summer, and yet despite it all he truly felt like he'd grown into a proud young man by the end of it all.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner…" He finally says as he finishes his explanation. For a moment, the two older men seem to take this in before Stan speaks up.

"I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us, kid, although I kinda knew you were trans already."

"Wait, you knew?!" Dipper shouts before he can stop himself. He suddenly starts to panic, wondering if he hadn't really passed as well as he thought he did. Stan quickly puts his hands up and puts his fears to rest as he adds in,

"I mean I was there when you two goobers were born! I'm not a spring chicken, Dipper. I've had my fair share of experiences with the gays and the queers. When you two got off the bus and you were introducing yourself as Mabel's twin brother Dipper, I thought to myself 'As long as the kid's happy, good on him!'"

"The concept of gender is, frankly, one that is much closer to a spectrum than most people realize. There are plenty of dimensions out there where gender is explored much more than here, for example I've been to one dimension where gender was traded with and bartered like a sort of currency!"

"What my nerd brother is trying to say," Stan finally cuts in, knowing Ford was likely to go on a full hour long tangent otherwise. "is that he's happy you felt safe enough to tell the both of us."

"Yes, of course, my boy!" A bright smile is spread across Dipper's face, the acceptance given from both his great uncles filling him with relief.

"See, Dipper? I just knew that our grunkles wouldn't have treated you like mom and dad did." His sister chimes in with her own knowing smile. Ford, however, quickly catches onto what she said.

"What do you mean 'like mom and dad', Mabel? Did your parents not take it well?" His question, although asked with no ill intentions, has the immediate effect of making both of the twin's moods fall. While Dipper shrinks in on himself, Mabel adopts a look of frustration and lets out a huff.

"Mom and dad are poopheads!" Ford and Stan both frown. That certainly didn't sound good. After a moment, Dipper speaks up.

"I… I hadn't told them about the whole 'being transgender' think before going to Gravity Falls. I was still just trying to figure it all out back then. Of course, they catch onto the new name I was using here. Not too long after me and Mabel came back they start questioning me about what was going on. Why I was hiding things from them…" He remembers that day all too well. Of being cornered with questions and not being able to rely on Mabel because she had been out with friends at the time. "I tried to explain to them how much happier I had been bit they wouldn't listen. They kept saying how their 'poor sweet daughter must have been brainwashed' and that 'it's just a phase you'll grow out of'…" Dipper then trailed off, his voice shaking more as he becomes more choked up. Mabel quickly scoots her chair closer, letting her brother lean on her for comfort.

"We hoped that they would end up coming around but they wouldn't even try to understand him. They kept using the wrong name and pronouns for him no matter how much we tried to correct them or ask them not to!" She angrily adds in. "One day they even told him that he should be grateful that he hadn't been thrown out!"

Knowing how unaccepted and uncared for their beloved nephew had been in the last ten months was already deeply troubling for Stan and Ford, but hearing these especially cruel words hit the two far too close to home. The hopes they had that Dipper and Mabel would at least have the caring and safe home that they never got were dashed, and they share a look of regret before turning to look at their niblings.

"Dipper, I… I'm so sorry your parents have been treating you like this. I had no idea."

"You're not going to send us back, are you?" Dipper asks quietly. At their great uncle's looks of confusion, Mabel explains.

"We… kind of didn't tell them we were visiting…" She admits as she diverts her eyes sheepishly.

"They tried to forbid us from coming back this summer, saying how this town 'corrupted me'," Her brother explains with air quotations and an eye roll. "So we both combined our allowances and bought some bus tickets without telling them." There it was.

This was certainly a difficult situation. It was only a matter of time before the twins' parents figured out where they went off too, and once they figured out that they were staying with Stan and Ford they would naturally demand they bring them straight back to California. And trying to keep them away could result in some legal trouble being sent their way.

And yet both Stanley and Stanford, unfortunately, had some personal experiences with being forced to hide who you were. Memories of hiding love letters, of repressing their true selves for fear of their old fashioned father finding out, and they refused to make their poor nephew suffer through the same type of hell. And thankfully, they had a whole town of people who would be willing to help them.

"Well there's no way I'm going to pay to be sending you dorks back, so it looks like you're stuck here." Stan declared gruffly, although it was obvious enough that he wanted his niblings to be at Gravity Falls just as much as the two of them wanted to be there.

"Dipper, in the time I've been back in this dimension I've seen you as nothing less than a brave and strong young man. And if your parents are too blinded by their own narrow-minded beliefs to see that, too, than at least know that you'll always be our amazing grandnephew." By now, Dipper was crying in earnest. Not the tears of frustration or sorrow that he had experienced all too often in Piedmont but tears of pure happiness. Stan and Ford both stand up and go to give their great nephew a hug.

"By the way, Dipper," Ford says after the hug ends. "I forgot to ask but did those pain meds I give you help.

"Oh, honestly I hadn't really thought about my cramps for a while, but now that I think about it they're much better. Thanks." Ford simply smiles.

"Don't mention it, my boy. It's the least I can do."

"If your cramps come back I probably got a heating pad somewhere in this place. Used it whenever my back hurt worse than usual." Stan chimes in.

"I heard there's going to be a cheesy movie marathon starting in a bit! Maybe we can grab some snacks, relax around Stan's chair and watch?" Dipper smiles at his sister's suggestion, feeling his appetite come back now that the worst of his pain was taken care of.

"Sounds good to me."

And so that's how the Pines family found themselves all settled around the living room, Dipper lounging comfortably on Stan's chair and Mabel settled on the floor while Stan and Ford sat leaned against the chair. While Ford and Dipper would take turns in pointing out the inaccuracies of the monster movies, ("Please, a tiny splinter like that would never take out that powerful of a vampire.") Stanley would more often make jokes about the cheesy effects ("Pshh, I could put together taxidermy parts that look more realistic than those werewolves!") and Mabel was happy to just happy to comment on dreamy actors and things she thought were cute. ("Aw, it's too bad that bat had to get shot, it was so adorable!") At one point Stan and Ford playfully argue over who would be able to defeat the most zombies which then devolves into the two throwing popcorn at each other.

And all the while a single thought stays in Dipper's head, bringing a sense of comfort with it: "I'm finally home."

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#gravity falls #hurt dipper pines #dipper pines angst #pines family #dipper and ford bonding #ventfic #tw menstruation #tw implied child abuse #tw implied transphobia #mutt's writing

[parkerbombshell]

Just Another Menace Sunday #930 w/ NOTABLE TRACKS OF 2021

Just Another Menace Sunday New Shows Sundays 4pm EST bombshellradio.com Repeats Wednesdays 2m and 11am EST and Fridays 6pm Saturday 6am "Just Another Menace Sunday" radio thing. This Week: A Holiday Weekend Double Feature!: Hour 1: A 2004 Conversation with Rilo Kiley featuring a very young Jenny Lewis! Hour 2: A 2007-ish Conversation w/ Maximo Park Official! Both include very tasty Musical Sandwiches™!   This Week – Episode #930 NOTABLE TRACKS OF 2021 (NOT A TOP or BEST OF LIST OR IN ANY ORDER.) (12/26/2021) Theme Song Just Another Menace Sunday Theme (Dennis The Menace) - Mighty Six Ninety Hour 1 NOTABLE TRACKS OF 2021 (NOT A TOP or BEST OF LIST OR IN ANY ORDER.) OPENING SONG: Chaise Lounge – Wet Leg (Domino) MMMOOOAAAAYAYA – Illuninati Hotties (Snack Shack/Hopeless) Strong Feelings – Dry Cleaning (4AD) Talk About It – Jungle (Caiola) As I Try Not To Fall Apart – White Lies (Pias) Contact High – We Are Scientists (Masterswan) Suicide Is Murder – Aimee Mann (Superego) Parliament Hill – Smith & Burrows (Pias) Don’t Go Putting Wishes In My Head – Torres (Merge) Narrator – Squid (Warp) I Don’t Live Here Anymore – The War On Drugs (Atlantic) Billy Goodbye – Franz Ferdinand (Domino) Headphones Baby – The Vaccines (Super Easy/AWAL) CLOSING SONG: Brain Masher – Polyplastic (Grey Market) Hour 2 NEW MELODIC ROCK AND ROLL OPENING SONG: Cold Cold Heart – Midge Ure (Chrysalis) A New England 12” Mix – Kirstie MacColl (Stiff) The Things We Do For Love – 10cc (Mercury) So Long – Fischer Z (United Artists Australia) This Time It’s For Real – Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes (Epic) The Beat – Elvis Costello (Columbia) The Beat Goes On – Sonny & Cher (Atco) Beats So Lonely – Charlie Sexton (Geffen) I’m The Man – Joe Jackson (A&M) Let’s Dance To Joy Division – The Wombats (Bright Antenna) Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division (Factory) Hey Little Girl – Icehouse (Chrysalis) CLOSING SONG: Hey Girl – The Mamas and The Papas (Dunhill) Read the full article

[recommendedlisten]

Video: Illuminati Hotties -  “MMMOOOAAAAAYAYA”

“Yeah, it's all pranks all the time with them. They hold themselves back with all the jokes. I saw one of their first live shows and saw right away they (she) can really write a good tune. But one can only take them as seriously as they take themselves,” typed a bro in the comments section of a post on a popular music content farm site about Illuminati Hotties’ new single “MMMOOOAAAAAYAYA”. Believe you me, though, Sarah Tudzin is all business in her comedy, even when she’s getting slopped with a scat-colored substance in her music videos while cosplaying D’Angelo.

As the lead single from her as-yet-to-be-announced sophomore effort, the track rips a psychotic laugh track from our own self-created socieital insanities, from the personal (”I’m so sad I can’t do laundry...,) the political (”The DNC is playing dirty!...,”) the sexual (”Text me, touch me, call me, daddy...”) to the capitalist (”If you’re not laughing, baby, then you’re not making money...”) Its title and chorus meets every one of them with nonsensical reprieve, because that’s just the mirror of our world staring back at Tudzin. To all the roland1824s out there, perhaps the fact that you can’t see that just makes you the real joke here?

Illuminati Hotties “MMMOOOAAAAAYAYA” single is available now on Snack Shack Tracks / Hopeless Records.

#videos #illuminati hotties #snack shack tracks #hopeless records #new music & videos #new music and videos