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sunnytastic-and-the-olympians · 6 months

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Wooohooo!!! I just finished The Sea of Monsters!!!

Man, this book is such a fun read. I love, love, love that the plot had Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson traveling through water because it really gave Percy's nautical powers a chance to shine. None of the other books return to the sea as much as The Sea of Monsters does, which makes sense for the over-arching plots, but it is a bit of a loss. Placing the Son of the Sea God in a Sea of Monsters really just is the perfect setting and it makes for a really fun plot.

Reading The Sea of Monsters is definitely the most fun I've had with reading in a long time. The last time I felt this excited to read was a couple of months ago when I reread Feels Like We Only Go Backwards by oldpotatoe on AO3 (it is an absolute banger of a fanfiction. I highly recommend it to anyone, especially Zukka fans, but truly, it's good enough for anyone to enjoy). Before that, I hadn't picked up a book in months.

But now? I feel so excited to keep reading that it's taking everything in me to not immediately dive into The Titan's Curse. But alas, I have school and responsibilities, etc. (Blah, adulthood is the worst. Please transport me back to the time when I was so eager to read, that I would constantly get in trouble for reading in class).

But the important thing is, my love for reading has returned. Reading is pure magic. There are words on paper that transport you to a different realm where there are rainbow fish-horses who can talk, sirens waiting to tempt you to your doom, and a magical golden fleece powerful enough to bring a girl back from the dead.

I realized in my blog post about The Lightning Thief, that I didn't mention Luke. While this was just forgetfulness on my part (I was writing it at 5 am. This time I am writing it at the very reasonable time of 11 pm), I'm actually glad I didn't write about him because Luke has a much more active role in The Sea of Monsters.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Luke is the definition of a sympathetic villain. Every time he's in a scene, I can feel the hurt radiating off of him, and I understand how he was so easily manipulated by Kronos. The Olympians have done nothing but torment Luke. How can he be expected to resist the temptation to replace the Olympians with a new reigning power- one Luke has been misled to believe will be fair?

I suppose this is where the hero aspect comes in: Percy has every reason to hate the Olympians as much as Luke- Hades held his mother captive as bait, Ares tricked him into possessing Zeus' Lightning Bolt, Poseidon fails to show up for him- but Percy stands strong against Kronos' evil anyways.

However, Percy's automatic refusal to consider if the Olympians are worth fighting for is naive, and it fails him as a protagonist until The Last Olympian. If I remember correctly, Percy doesn't truly understand Luke's perspective until the final battle, but when he finally does, he is so moved by it, that he finishes advocating for Luke's cause when he demands the gods take responsibility for claiming their children.

The reason Percy is unwilling to consider Luke's point of view is because of Luke's betrayal, and yet without Luke's betrayal, there wouldn't be a serious point of view to consider. Though, this is where I am going to end my discussion on Percy and his relationship with betrayal. I have decided I will analyze it after The Last Olympian, and then again after The Mark of Athena, specifically so I can talk about Nico's betrayal because I believe Percy's interactions with Nico afterward provide the best material for understanding Percy and his attitude towards betrayal.

Oh, and speaking of Nico, I miss him so goddamn much. I didn't notice in The Lightning Thief, probably because the story focuses so much on world-building rather than character development, but I did notice Nico's absence in The Sea of Monsters. Perhaps it is my affection for him (he was the first character who made me feel like it was okay to be queer), but the Percy Jackson World feels a little incomplete without its gay brooding anti-hero. The good news is he shows up in the next book, The Titan's Curse!

Speaking of side characters, Annabeth is a much more fleshed-out character in The Sea of Monsters as compared to The Lightning Thief. In particular, I think the Siren's Bay scene is a major turning point for her character. She now has her own motivations, beyond just wanting to do good and help Percy, and the audience learns about her fatal flaw. She feels real, not just a prop to help Percy on his adventures. I'm very excited to see her character continue to grow and develop.

Another side character I really liked is Clarisse. I will always empathize with a character who is pressured by her parents to succeed at all costs. It was very satisfying to see her get her hero's ending.

Ok, I definitely think this counts as a blog post about The Sea of Monsters, even if there was a fair bit of future The Last Olympian analysis too. I'm excited to continue my adventure of reading the Riordanverse. The Titan's Curse is next!!

As always, TLDR: The Sea of Monsters is fun, Percy and Luke are narrative foils, and Annabeth and Clarisse have great character development.

Oh, and in case anyone is interested, this post is about 950 words. Brain zoomies will have you doing the silliest things sometimes.

Links to the other posts in the Isa Rereads Percy Jackson series:

The Lightning Thief

The Titan's Curse

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackson and the olympians #the sea of monsters #isa rereads percy jackson

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missingn000 · 1 year

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HI IT’S ME AGAIN

Anyway!! to continue from my comment:

i have a huge weakness for descriptive writing and you nail (pun possibly intended, you’re welcome) it every single time with your delightful use of figurative language. something in particular that i found really interesting was the diction of injury in association with tokyo tower - it’s undoubtedly a sight nobara’s dreamt of seeing her whole life, but higuruma’s perception of the very same view is, by comparison, jarringly bleak.

okay wait i’m sorry for rambling about one (1) minute detail about what was probably meant to be a character study 💀 i love love LOVED the contrast between nobara’s hellbent insistence on self agency and yuuta’s hesitation to disobey getou’s will!! both of them want to be loved, which is of course normal for children (especially ones as criminally neglected as they are), but where yuuta embraces being saved, nobara is looking for something slightly… different. she’s never been a damsel in distress and never will be; instead she seeks “to be loved so much” that she’s “something to fight for.” absolutely banger line btw, it hit me right in the feels. IRONICALLY THOUGH higuruma has already done that!!! and intends to continue to do so!!! bc every interaction is a fight of some sort to win her approval! hell, their very first one was higuruma deciding that going against geto was worth it if it meant nobara lives to see another day, sooo……

“That’s none of your business” being the comeback Nobara defaults to is very intriguing considering… well… what the sheriff from her village said in response to Higuruma’s probing- “That’s our business.” seems like the village rubbed off on her a bit, huh. not to mention it feeds into her unyielding independence too: “it’s none of your business” -> “i can handle this on my own” -> proving both to herself and an invisible entity that she’s worth loving, goddammit

ok omg one last thing. dyou think the reason behind nobara’s decisiveness is the lack of stability (for the lack of a better term) in her life?? making her own decisions was the only way she could ever gain a modicum of control over her surroundings and that’s why she confuses support (which she never had to begin with, and would therefore be unable to recognise) for people trying to wrest her agency from her, which she would of course resist

I do apologise if literally none of this is correct because I don’t. actually know a lot abt Nobara and Higuruma’s characters or paid attention to them in canon until you worked your magic as usual LOL

Thanks for reading & have a good day!!

HI OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR ANALYSES?? no need to apologize, they're right on the nose! with regards to yuuta and nobara, i really wanted to highlight the stark contrast between how they view getou and higuruma, respectively. to others in random chats, i've described it like this: nobara doesn't want to listen to anything her father figure says, while yuuta has a hard time doing anything but.

while yuuta and nobara were both shunned by others, they had completely different responses to it. nobara fought back against the villagers' judgmental words and isolated herself willingly, while yuuta is a people pleaser who just wants to be given love, no matter who it's from. and ahh you're right, higuruma is fighting for nobara -- she just can't see it, and he barely even realizes it himself. these two have such a long way to go

it's cool that you caught nobara's "that's none of your business" vs the sherrif's "that's our business" because it was totally intentional :D i think nobara's decisiveness does stem from a lack of stability, and a lack of overall control of her circumstances. since she's a child, she couldn't choose to just leave the village or take care of herself, so she clung to the little agency she did have and made snap decisions with little forethought, because too much rumination could lead to choices being made for her, which was not an option to her.

also you're making me ;__; i'm so honored reading my work has made you interested in these characters!! hyper-analyzing them made me more attached to them too lol

#tpg

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dollarbin · 8 months

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Dollar Bin #6:

Steeleye Span's Rocket Cottage

You are absolutely encouraged to judge this record by its cover.

Is Rocket Cottage a colossal joke thrown together by some tanked up Brits while on their hollibobs? Yes.

Is it the horrifying end of a great band? For sure.

Even so, does listening to the record today replicate being blasted into deep space while within a thatched cottage? Hell yes!

For any of you who confuse Steeleye Span with Steely Dan: don't worry, we are not spending this blog Reelin in the Years with these guys and their nonsense.

Instead, we are focusing on these nutjobs.

Here's the backstory: around 1968 Ashley Hutchings of Fairport Convention went a bit insane and suggested they invent an entirely new genre of music that married west coast folk rock, a la The Byrds, with medieval British song. If that sounds like a popsicle slathered in mayo, please know that the result was the previously mentioned Liege and Lief, and if you ever find that in the Dollar Bin repair immediately to the nearest cloister for grateful meditation and thanksgiving.

Next Hutchings went even more insane and insisted that the band no longer Rock. Fairport's seventeen Daves replied, "Sorry Mate, but you've clearly gone and left your trousers in the bog. No more bangers and mash for thee."

And so Hutchings assembled Steeleye Span instead and ordered them Not To Rock. Thus the mayo fell off the popsicle and latched itself onto your pancakes, but once again the results were awesome. Here's some proof from the first Steeleye record, which is entitled, incomprehensibly, Hark! The Village Wait.

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Fast forward 8 years. The band's membership had changed more often than you can say I've done forgot me pants in the loo and they kept up the typical blinding 70's pace of a record a year at all costs. Some of the resulting records are worth your dollar and then some (Below the Salt) and some feature David Bowie and still are not worth a buck unless you are me (Now We Are Six).

The band's heart through it all was Maddy Prior. She's often credited with "Step Dancing" on the gatefold but don't be fooled. She's another Dollar Bin goddess, this one always sporting a very goofy grin.

Prior doesn't have Ronstadt's looks or power, nor does she ache and glide like Emmylou. But she brings pathos and sincerity to every proceeding.

And then came Rocket Cottage.

Athen's failed Sicilian Expedition in 415 BCE took an ax to classical Greek culture. It was bad. But according to Rob Young in his mostly lovely book Electric Eden, Rocket Cottage was worse. Forget Dylan going electric; according to Young, Steeleye Span going disco effectively took an ax to all of Civilization.

Yes, Rocket Cottage features wacka chicka disco guitar work. You know what I'm talking about. I get Young's point: medieval balladers likely did not plug in their wah wah pedals and choke down the strings of their stratocasters while singing Tam Lin. But today in the Dollar Bin we are defending Steeleye against Young's wrath. Life as you know it will not come to an end if you listen to Rocket Cottage. You might even like it!

Let's start with the song that should supply the soundtrack to Owen Wilson bowling 300 in slow-motion midway through an upcoming Wes Anderson picture.

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Rocket Cottage bombed, making it a hard find in a dollar bin these days. 1976's biggest hits had titles like Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang and (Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty (no, I did not make those titles up) so it's no wonder that Steeleye's ancient British ballads couldn't compete no matter how many wacka chickas they mixed in.

But screw the marketplace. I love tracks like Orfeo in large part because I understand very little of what is going on. Who are these faerie and what exactly is happening in their hall? No clue. Why does the whole thing fade into an unrelated violin reel? Beats me. Orfeo is mixtape ready and too weird to pass by.

The album is consistently strong though Side 1. Lords and Ladies of London Town ride about in a coach and six with nothing but claret wine. Later, 12 witches assemble. The whole thing swings. Sure, when the boys sing The Bosnian Hornpipes without Prior you wonder whether they intended to sound silly. Rest easy and take another look at the cover: no one was taking this very seriously.

Let's talk about those boys for a moment. Check out the back cover.

Where in name of Ringo are Tim Hart's clothes? Is Rick Kemp's shirt unzipped all the way? How many times a day does Peter Knight comb that stash? What boy band did Nigel take a pass on?

And then there's Robert Johnson. No, not that Robert Johnson. The one in Steeleye did not meet the devil and lay down the foundation for much of what we continue to consider as popular music, all without ever being photographed. That's the other Robert Johnson. At some point Steeleye's Robert Johnson called himself Bob instead, and who can blame him? If my name was Joni Mitchell I'd change it too.

But being named Bob Johnson didn't help all that much seeing as there was already another Bob Johnson who is arguably the best record producer of all time. Poor Robert/Bob Johnson couldn't catch a break.

But Robert/Bob brought the wah wah peddle to Steeleye, then bailed on them to make a concept record called The King of Elfland's Daughter which features - I kid you not - Saruman on lead vocals, then he went back to school and became a psychotherapist and sired a son named Barnaby. I'd say he did all right!

We can't wrap this up without addressing the problem that is Side 2. Fighting For Strangers sounds like the band is mucking about in a medieval root cellar and Sligo Maid could ably serve as the B-Side to the disco version of Beethoven's 5th.

But nothing compares with the last track, The Drunkard. The title describes the song's recording session, or at least I hope so. If they weren't drunk while they recorded it, and even drunker when they decided to put it on the record, then everything we hold to be self-evident needs reassessment. Prior does what she can to salvage things at the end but it still sounds like Stephen Stills crashed their cottage.

The band fell apart Athenian style after this record and never made anything exciting together again. That's not surprising when the final track sounds like their Rocket Cottage has lost control, reentered Earth's atmosphere and splashdown is expected in your horror struck face in T minus 10, 9, 8 seconds.

But so what! I'll feel forever smug that I found my copy at Amoeba for $3 while everyone else was buying T.Swift records for $45 a pop. Drop the needle on Side 1 again. The Dollar Bin is hurtling toward space and Steeleye Span is at the helm.

#steeleye span #stephen stills still sucks #bob johnson #robert johnson #rocket cottage #Youtube #maddy prior

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hollister-mc · 1 year

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TAG 9 PEOPLE YOU WANNA GET TO KNOW BETTER

I feel honored that someone wants to know more about me, which is also crazy cause why would you wanna do that, I'm a fucking mess. ANYWAY! Thank you @brytnoter for the tag! 💖💕💞💖

Currently reading: A Drarry fic! I decided to get nostalgic. The fic is Harry Potter and the Welcome to the world of Grey by Sobsicles. I don't think I've cried over a fic this much in a long time. Definitely worth a read if you ship it and love morally grey harry!

Favorite color: Red and black, it's my thing. Though I have a love for green, gold, and many other colors <3

Last song: Heartbreak feels so good by Fall Out Boy. Oh my fucking god this band is everything to me, been waiting 5 years and they're coming back with absolute bangers. Can't wait for March.

Last movie: I'm not proud of this one, but it was Tusk... Yea that one horror movie where he turns the guy into a walrus. I watched it nearly 2 days in a row with my best guy friend and he wanted to cuddle me and things got kinda sus, which it hilarious cause that movie is literally the most unromantic movie of all time... (If yall want a story time I'm willing to share lmaoooo)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Has to be savory, hands down. Look I love me some sweets but sometimes things are too strong and it makes me sick. Plus I'm a pussy when it comes to mega spicy things. Savory never lets me down. 😎💪

Currantly working on: Some art for an OC. Its for a MHA fanfic I have that I'm not releasing until I fix the first 6 chapters that I wrote years ago. (spoiler, they fucking suck cause I wasnt taking anything seriously)

Boom its done, its not required. But I'm gonna be tagging the first people that come to mind. Cause fuck you, that's why.

@mishymashymushyusedpkflash @cloud-navi @ramenbagel @ebaylee422 @ss-shitstorm @lets-try-some-writing @raineycloudz @i-dont-know-make-it-cool @ashes-136667

#tagging #for funsies #haha #go ahead #tell me your secret #get to know you #get to know each other

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wyattvsmusic · 1 year

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Kelela - Raven ALBUM REVIEW

Kelela’s 2017 debut album, Take Me Apart was easily one of the best albums to be released in 2010s. When I heard it for the first time, I was blown away as there have been albums in the past that have mixed electronic, pop, and R&B but Take Me Apart was truly something special. After putting out the Take Me Apart remix album in 2018, Kelela almost completely vanished as she didn’t post on social media, put out music, do any features, or play any shows after the initial Take Me Apart tours. Her return to music is very much welcome and now that her second album, Raven is out, I can say that it was worth the six year wait. Sometimes when an artist sets the bar so high with their first album and takes a lot of time to put out their second one, the second album doesn’t usually hit the same. It’s a bit early for me to say that Raven is on par with Take Me Apart, but it is absolutely a worthy followup. On just the first listen, the production is incredible and allows Kelela to take some more artistic risks while maintaining her signature sound that she established with her first album and the EPs before it. She’s made upbeat pop songs like LMK and Rewind but this album has many more uptempo songs that one can groove to, such as the rave-ready Happy Ending, the UK Garage-inspired Missed Call, and the ethereal song Contact, which also nods to UK Garage as well. Kelela is someone who always pours her heart into every song of her’s; music seems very therapeutic for her and it is nice to hear her make songs where she sounds like she’s having fun even though the lyrical content might be quite emotional. The aforementioned dance songs are a prime example of that, as is the song On The Run. I was not expecting Kelela to make a dancehall song with this album but it works just so perfectly and is easily one of the best songs on the album. Her vocal performance on the song is phenomenal as she continues to put her all into every single song. The beat has such a nice bounce to it and the “hey” sounds from Dave Kelly’s iconic Showtime Riddim really bring the entire song together with the incredibly catchy hook. It’s a song that one can whine and cry to as well. Enough For Love gives similar vibes and that song is another song that is absolute perfection as she sings so beautifully on that song. Slower songs like the fantastic Washed Away and the downbeat banger Closure are better examples of Kelela continuing to stick to the sound that we know and love from her. There’s also a run towards the end of the album that provides those very slow and minimal moments from Kelela where she showcases her vocal range. My only criticism of this album is that I would have liked for these songs to be better dispersed within the tracklist as the album is an hour and six minutes long and these slower songs all being after each other makes the album feel longer whereas the variety in the first third of the album goes by very nicely. While Raven has a lot of great songs to dance to, she sounds very hurt on the album as her vulnerability in every song is what makes her so special, no matter what the song sounds like. Whether it’s a bouncy dancehall song, a 2-step Garage track or a slow ballad, Kelela is going to give everything she has into it. For those reasons, Raven is a fantastic followup to one of my favorite albums of all time and a triumphant return for one of my favorite artists.

Fav Tracks: Washed Away, Happy Ending, On The Run, Missed Call, Contact, Enough For Love

#Kelela #Raven #Warp

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tsuki-sennin · 2 years

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Maaaaaaaaaaaan, Revice ended yesterday, and so all of a sudden, these Donbura Dorks decide they have to end their show too, huh? And here I thought we had something special :<

-Aww man, don't remind me.

-"Yes, that finale was pretty poggers and based. My compliments to Mr. Kinoshita and the crew. Now... we have no reason to continue with this charade!"

-Hooray, we all get to go home!

-Haruka can't see herself stopping the whole hero thing, huh?

-"Well, as long as there's a single human being left on Earth, I doubt that the desires that corrupt the Hitotsu-ki will ever disappear..."

-"THAT'S SO NOT TRAFFIC SAFE!"

-Donbrothers is over.

-Pick the MVP!

-Man, I'm gonna miss this absolute banger of an OP next week. ...who even are the new Ranger dudes, anyhow? Are they friends with Mr. Geats already? Is Cosmic Fury gonna air alongside Geats?

-Wait, is this a clip show!?

-Aw son of a bitch, Inoue tricked me!

-...did Inoue even write this episode?

-Hang on, lemme check...

-Saburo Yatsude... that's the pseudonym used by Toei itself. I believe they also wrote the scripts for the Den-O crossover specials and Zenkai Red last year.

-Checked and cross referenced some Wikipedia articles (very cursorily mind you). The only show among the Noto's inspirations to have a Saburo Yatsude "Created by" credit is The Kagestar. This makes me believe that some producer really likes Sonoza, and I can't blame them for that.

-Well, you have been through an awful lot for a teenager, Haruka. A lot of kids fantasize about superheroics, but rarely do they take full notice of the consequences, both social and physical. I'd know, I was one of those kids, writing self-inserts kept under lock and key. Hell, even now, as a 21 year old, I still think it'd be worth it just to have something else going on in my life.

-You're a bit different though. Even if you were basically dragged into Ranger work kicking and screaming, you perform your combat duties very admirably, and still strive for that normal life. Not to mention how far you've come as a person. The Haruka from 25 episodes ago absolutely wouldn't have gone out of her way to help out her teammates the way she's been lately. I'm proud of ya, kiddo.

-Shinichi, did you have to transform between cuts to make your point? Seems a bit extra. Ah who am I kidding, that's just who you are, I wouldn't have it any other way <3

-Let's see... you've definitely haven't changed as much as Haruka has, but there's so much about you that interests me all the same. All the small things you use your powers for to help others, the way you stick to your asceticism despite all the obvious personal risk to your safety, the way even slightly giving into your desires seems to burn you up so quick... remember in Episode 20 when you immediately started living up the hero image? Do you even use your Kibi-Points, I wonder?

-Tsuyoshiiiiii, my man!

-"I kinda am a total scrub... if only I were a cool guy... Heh, guess I kinda got my wish in a way!"

-...and yeah, that's very much like you :)

-Hmmm... who's Mr. InuBrother?

-"Wan..."

-Don't put words in the doggo's mouth!

-Oh shoot, hello Sononi!

-...er... I'm sure Condorman's a pretty cool hero! Kohan Kawauchi's responsible for the creation of Moonlight Mask, Japan's first ever tokusatsu TV superhero, so he evidently knew what he was doing. He also created Warrior of Love Rainbowman, which was an inspiration for Cutie Honey.

-He was also an Islamic convert, which led to the creation of this show called "Messenger of Allah", starring a young Sonny Chiba, of all actors! I was a big fan of him as a teenager, but I don't think I've ever heard of this. Which is crazy to me, because a show like Messenger of Allah is absolutely something that should be explored from top to bottom.

-Sorry, I should be focusing on Donbrothers right now, but... Huh... I keep wondering how shows like these get made.

-Uhhhh... Sononi! You're presenting your case for Tsubasa, right? Yeah, show me.

-Gotta save the love of your life, Tsubasa-san!

-"Who the fuck are these weirdos, this is bullshit"

-Oooooooooooh, Dog Man throwin' shade!

-I have to wonder... the actor playing Sayama, Ryoji Sugimoto... do you think he wonders exactly what he's supposed to be doing as a character?

-Damn, Crane Lady got kicks.

-Yeah, I think that's one of my nicknames for Natsumiho.

-Man, that Momoi Tarou.

-He's one of a kind madman.

-Yeah, guess he really speaks for himself, huh?

-Oh yeah, the Enya Rideon.

-Beeg AND Smol!

-Oh yeah, the headpat lmao

-"Wait, Don Onitaijin is five guys, burgers and fries?"

-I love that little plush doggie they use for Tsubasa, I hope they keep it around when he... maybe or maybe not joins with the rest full time.

-SONOI

-"Now, hold on a moment. ...there's another Don. ...technically two? Or perhaps not."

-"I'm gonna be the strongest hero! Waaaaaaaaah!"

-Dragon Punch! Shoryuken! Dragon! Dragon! Rock the Dragon!

-Tiger Cutter! Tiger Uppercut! Lions Tigers and Bears! Oh My!

-"But nah, my rival is Don Momotaro. And you can't have him."

-Oh shit, Donbrothers MVP time.

-And the winner is Don Kaito.

-YEP FUCKING CALLED IT LMAO

-"I win."

-Shut up Kaito kjlhklghvghjg

-"...why were you all rainbow-y in that stock footage?"

-Awwww, he wants to reward us :)

-"For you all :)"

-Free photobooks :)

-"I was born to be a hero. I've always been a hero. I am the hero."

-Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, what're you lads doing here!?

-"Jesus Christ, it's been 26 episodes and this shit isn't over."

-"Next time, Sonoza... I will defeat Momoi Tarou! Then Sononi can deal with Inuzuka Tsubasa as she pleases and you can resume your manga browsing with Kito Haruka. Now... watch me blow some bubbles."

-Are we at a water park next episode? Epic.

#avataro sentai donbrothers #don! don! it's a full force peachy festival!#donbrothers spoilers #donbrothers #super sentai #momo monday #taro tuesday #it's about midnight rn lol

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voidfuldreams · 11 months

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i’m packing up my room tonight. i was supposed to start a lot earlier in the day, but i got distracted doing laundry and procrastinating. also, i slept in for the first time in ages (yippee) and i thought that was worth mentioning.

I’m not sure what it is about packing that’s so tiring? but my back is absolutely killing me. it feels like i’ve literally just decided to carry the entire weight of my bedroom on my back. why. i am just taking posters off my walls.

it’s a little difficult going through my things for two reasons:

a) i’ve limited myself to three boxes of things, and the rest gets donated or dumped. the apartment im moving into is a shoebox and i’d rather not overcrowd it so i’m trying to cull as much as possible. so this makes picking and choosing what i’m taking relatively difficult, because sure i have a rough idea of what i want to take with me but actually going through everything is tiring. feels like i don’t know where to start.

b) going through a lot of my stuff tends to get emotional. i find goodbye letters from friends, things i haven’t seen in forever. some of it just strikes a chord and makes me all stupid and teary. which is dumb because ??? like fuck off it’s literally just junk.

but yeah i don’t know it’s fun! i like packing because it’s throwing away all the shit and the emotional baggage i’ve been hanging onto for years now. i’ve also decided to get rid of a bunch of my old sketchbooks (everything is digitised anyway and they’re old old so i don’t even remember what’s in them) which is good, but looking through some of the notebooks from the last few years where i was failing school and doodling to waste time kinda hit hard.

don’t get me wrong, i was trying to focus on school. but you can see me loose hope and get distracted and then just give up. it’s kind of funny though bc my drawings were banger in those notebooks so i took photos of them and then threw the books out.

i’m gonna live out of a suitcase for the next month and a half, because i don’t really do much other than work anyway so i’ll just leave out one or two pairs of pants, my work uniform, underwear and a few hoodies. then i can just pack that up on moving day and head out.

i’ve already laid awake for hours every night thinking about what i’ll bring with me and how i want my room to look. i’m so excited.

also! i’m going to build a pc so i can get my work done for my diploma. i have no idea how to build a pc, but i’m going to do it. i’m also incredibly excited for that. i’ve dreamt about doing that since i was a little kid and now i finally have the freedom and the space to do it.

i should probably mention i made it into the tafe course! i’ve signed my apartment’s contract too, so both of those are sorted! it’s no longer a hypothetical anymore, it’s straight up happening. i can’t wait. i am literally buzzing with excitement.

now all that’s left for me to do is land that starbucks job. i’m waiting for a phone call from them to see if i got the job or not. i’m trying to think positive because i feel like i aced that interview and they would definitely want me, so i have to keep manifesting that it’s going to happen. because that would absolutely be perfect. it’s at a train station a few stops away from mine. fifteen minutes travel time tops, and because i’ll be living right near the train station it’s not even a long walk. so convenient.

i’m writing this because i’m taking a break for my back to reset while i’m taking all the posters off my walls.

something smells burnt outside.

until next time

#being dramatic i guess #voidfuldreams #positive vent #vent #rant?#uhhhh

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catgirl-catboy · 1 year

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Wait bisexual Kiyotaka? Don't get me wrong if you hc that it actually sounds very genius heh.

And role reversal with fandom hcs in tenmiko, I see, I see! Lesbian Himiko with bisexual Tenko would absolute banger though.

Yes, I agree with Hina's relatibility as a girl liker and I believe she had a crush on Sakura despite Sakura probably not into her like Hina too. One sided and toxic Sakuraoi, my beloveds.

Demi Kiyotaka actually! (all of my faves get hit with the aspec beam. its mandatory.) Like, on the rare occasions I'm not being an Ishimondo enjoyer, his dynamics with some of the others are interesting and worth exploring. Akane specifically. They'd vibe.

Yeah, Sakura seems devoted to her boyfriend, (but part of me wonders if she only dated him because she respected him and he respected her >:)) so check another one off for lesbian bingo! Having a crush on the straight best friend. (In hindsight, no way was my childhood bestie straight, but since neither of us actually said anything, nothing happened.)

#ask tag #crowtalks

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thetoxicgamer · 1 year

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14 Star Wars games worth $100 are dirt cheap ahead of Jedi Survivor

You may be wondering what other Star Wars games you can play in the interim as the release of Star Wars Jedi Survivor draws near. While you wait for Star Wars Jedi Survivor, this 14-game bundle, which is currently on sale on Steam, should keep you occupied. You can grab the 14 Star Wars game bundle for 80% off on Fanatical, bringing the price down from $99.99 USD / £75.99 GBP to $20.99 USD / £15.95. Beware of the limited-time nature of this offer though, as it ends on April 16 at 3pm PT / 6pm ET / 11pm BST / midnight CEST. Star Wars games Steam bundle While the Star Wars games bundle is on Fanatical, all of the actual codes are for Steam versions of the games, with the 80% saving mixing multiple eras and genres for a varied experience. Here’s what you can expect in the Steam sale bundle. - Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast - Dark Forces - Jedi Knight Dark Forces 2 - Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy - Jedi Knight Mysteries of the Sith - Republic Commando - Star Wars Starfighter - The Clone Wars Republic Heroes - The Force Unleashed - The Force Unleashed 2 - Knights of the Old Republic - Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords - Star Wars Battlefront 2 (2005) - Empire at War If it wasn’t already apparent, this Steam bundle is filled with absolute bangers at a total steal. You’ve got some of the best RPG games, action-adventure games, FPSes, simulation, and strategy games from the last two decades, and they all just so happen to be Star Wars games too. Of these 14 games, six are also compatible with the Steam Deck, so you can easily play them on the go as well. Like me, you’re probably excited about Star Wars Jedi Survivor, and in that case, I’d say play the two Force Unleashed games. While they aren’t perfect, each provides the exact Jedi power fantasy you’re looking for with incredibly satisfying combat. Plus, The Clone Wars TV alumni Sam Witwer takes on the role of the main character, and he’s great (click the box below to go to the deal). I’d also recommend Republic Commando for a tight FPS, and the Knights of the Old Republic games if you want the BioWare space RPG that predates Mass Effect. These are all pretty good Star Wars games, and it’s absolutely worth the bundle knockdown to get them on Steam. While we wait for Cal’s next adventure, the Star Wars Jedi Survivor system requirements should help ensure you have a good enough rig. You can also check out all the Jedi Survivor bosses we know about so far as well. Read the full article

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thr3eguess3s · 1 year

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Lmao several days late seeing this but better late than never I suppose

@belbeten tagged me so blame them for this

3 Ships: Ooh, okay, so I should probably go for the one I’m actually currently writing a fic for, which is Pansy x Hermione (Harry Potter, fuck jk rowling), and of course the one I used to write for; Kara x Lena (Supergirl), then idk really, probably Wednesday x Enid (Wednesday)? I’m not really involved much in fandom anymore so I barely have any ships at the moment, which is kinda strange.

First Ever Ship: KiGo (Kim Possible x Shego). We didn’t have Disney channel in my house when I was little so I only ever got to see snippets of shows at other people’s houses (we never sat down and actually watched anything because me and my friends were very weird children who hung out in graveyards and tried to commune with spirits instead of watching tv). But my family did go on holiday to somewhere with a telly that got Disney once, and I saw Kim Possible and Shego and there was absolutely no going back from there.

The first ship that ever lead me to fucking around on the internet actively looking for content for it though was Draco x Hermione, in that brief period of time where I was trying to convince myself I was straight. Never was really that into it, but I did read a hell of a lot of it.

Last Song: Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol. It’s an absolute banger.

Last Movie: I don’t remember. I really don’t watch much television; I don’t have the attention span for it. I think it might have been Spider Man; No Way Home, which I do enjoy very much, but I can’t be too sure.

Currently Reading: Book-wise, I’ve just finished Seven Wonders; The Colossus Rises by Peter Lerangis. I can’t say I recommend it. My mum got it for my brother nearly a decade ago and I’ve been meaning to read it pretty much ever since he finished with it, but just never got around to it. It was not worth the wait.

The next thing I’ve got lines up though is The Lost Plot by Genevieve Cogman, which is about a dimension-hopping librarian and is a lot of fun. It’s the 4th book in the Invisible Library series, and I’ve enjoyed all the others so I’m looking forward to this one.

Fic-wise, I’m ... okay so I really enjoy reading cringey, bad fanfiction, like My Immortal and ‘this is my OC, she’s Hiccup’s twin sister in HTTYD and she got taken away by dragons with her mum and now she’s a badass and is gonna save the world’ type stuff. Idk why, I just derive a lot of enjoyment from it. I like seeing people’s pure, unfiltered creativity on show. That being said to explain exactly why I’m reading something called ‘Weasley Magic’, in which Hermione Granger is magically married to all of the Weasley siblings and the poor story can’t decide if it wants to be a porno, or a serious breakdown and reconstruction of the magical world’s government and educational system. Every chapter gives you tonal whiplash. David Bowie is namedropped as a Muggleborn. Ginny and Harry manage to accidentally become ‘magcially bound as brother and sister’ (don’t ask, I can’t explain) and yet Ginny still ends up pregnant with his child. It’s a wild ride. I strongly recommend it.

Currently Watching: Again, I don’t really watch things. I mostly just stick youtube videos on in the background whilst I’m playing video games or doing housework. Last tv thing I watched was Vienna Blood, I think. It was pretty good.

Currently Consuming: Not currently consuming anything as I am between meals right now, but I did have a bagel with marmite for breakfast a few hours ago and am going to have a sausage roll for lunch.

Currently Craving: Cherries. God I love those things. Could consume them for days.

Uuuhh I’m supposed to tag people at this point but I’m not hopeless at doing that so... if you fancy doing this then consider yourself tagged? Sorry I’m so hopeless at this.

#ask meme #tag meme #I'm legitimately terrible at these

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kieuecaprie · 1 year

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KieueCaprie's 2022 Games Complete List #4 (16-20)

#16: Bugsnax (+ DLC)

Started 🚩: 28/4/22 Finished 🏁: 30/4/22

(Got no progress image so here's a Bunger instead.)

I did not get Bugsnax when it first came out because it released on the Epic Games Store and, uh, well, I'm still a bit sore about Unreal Tournament essentially being left to rot so...

ANYWAY, after a whole year, it finally dropped on Steam, even though I could've played it on PS4 this whole time, I waited for it to be on Steam so I can grab it on there and boy am I glad that I did because, at the time of release, I got a Steam Deck! And it was perfect for that little handheld powerhouse, albeit a little battery hungry.

Despite being spoiled on the whole thing already (I was moderating for Limealicious, a little unknown Twitch streamer, you probably never heard of her), I was blessed with the power of brain fog as I've forgotten pretty much everything about the game's story, except for Bunger, Bunger is love, Bunger is life.

It's a great story with a great cast of characters who have flaws that you help them come to terms with while catching cute critters and solving the mystery of Bugsnax Island.

The DLC was pretty great too, although it just left me wishing there was more to it than just one new area... But, you know what? The whole package is worth it, and is still worth it!

#17: Plok (SNES)

Started 🚩: 17/5/22 Finished 🏁: 17/5/22

This is a game that people call "mid" that I love to this very day because I played it a lot when I was a kid, even though it was hard (as SNES games are wont to be) and there were no saves back then, you either beat the game or you didn't.

This game is still hard, even though I've cleared it, like, four times now and each time, I keep using rewinds and save states because I'm a filthy casual. One day I'll have the skill and fortitude to play through it Ironman-style and I will finally sit atop my green cushy throne in a pit of fleas and finally claim my crown as Royalty of Akrillic Island!

Also the music is still a banger to this very day, highly recommend you seek out the OST, it's probably floating around on Youtube still or whatever video site is up if you're somehow reading this from the future.

#18: Dread X Collection 5

Started 🚩: 20/5/22 Finished 🏁: 21/5/22

May I propose a question? If a glorified game launcher has a story in it, of which that progresses based on the games you launch and play, has fail states, and has an ending, is it actually a game that you've completed?

To that, I say, yeah, yeah it is.

I absolutely loved all the Dread X Collections up to this point and 5 is no exception, although it's kind of like 6 now because The Hunt exists but I digress!

The hub world this time is a mish-mash of an amusement center slash restaurant that is hiding a killer clown monster, yes, you heard me. The games themselves a fairly well done, as they do, fitting the theme of having a party but something horror themed happens.

Highly recommend checking out the Dread X Collections if you haven't already, they're pretty cool and good!

#19: Hardspace Shipbreaker (PC, Steam)

Started 🚩: 25/5/22 Finished 🏁: 31/5/22

I really liked the gameplay loop in this one. You picked a ship, inspect it for parts to tear off, and then you tear it apart piece by piece over a number of shifts until you're done and then you get to do it all over again. It's more fun and involved than it sounds, trust me.

You've got compression to worry about, you got things that could explode at the slightest touch of your cutting laser, and you got the general hazards of working in zero-gravity.

The story, as a whole, that dresses up the game is... pretty decent, I liked it and enjoyed the eventual catharsis (You'll see if you play through this game all the way tto the end, trust me).

Definitely worth a look if you like meticulously taking things apart. At the time of writing this, it's probably still on Xbox Game Pass for PC, so now would be a good time to do so if this post somehow piques your interest.

#20: Cuphead (PC, Steam, Base + DLC)

Started 🚩: 11/6/22 Finished 🏁: 1/7/22

I actually played Cuphead before! It was via Twitch. No, not through a stream, but through their game store that they used to have before they eventually stopped doing that. I actually still have the Twitch badge to prove it!

The game is hard and still is (but not the tutorial hurr hurr), and I admit I still got frustrated at some parts while I replayed it on Steam. But after powering through, I think I can say, I liked this game.

On top of that, the DLC was indeed the Delicious Last Course, I liked the new characters and bosses that you could fight, Ms. Chalice was pretty fun to play as, even though she feels a bit OP in some respects, especially if you take her into the base game. And the final boss of the DLC is quite... well, you gotta find out for yourself!

Charge/Spread with Invincible Dash is still a busted combination, although there were times I actually had to change my loadout away from the complacent playstyle that got me through the base game.

---- [Return to Top of List] ----

#kieuecaprie gaming

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quackiseok · 3 years

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— sweet dreams

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanons

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : the feral boys' reaction to you falling asleep in their embrace or on them!

a/n : AYY HELLO!! i'm so sorry for the lack of content these last three days OTL but here's something i wrote, hope you guys liked it! ♡

song to listen to while reading :

— DREAM

let's say dream has just finished recording for his upcoming manhunt video and it was a chilly night

well, the solution? a gun CUDDLES!!! ♡

he's a sucker for cuddles and you love cuddling with him too, so why not?

the two of you plopped yourselves on the bed, warm blankets wrapping the two of you together

the first plan was to watch a movie, but the two of you ended up talking to each other and leaving the movie unwatched

he share many stories with you, letting you rest your head on his chest whilst listening to him. he would also put an arm around your shoulders to keep you warm and close to him 🥺

as time passes by, it was getting late. you felt really safe around dream, especially if you were in his embrace

your eyelids grew heavier each time you tried fighting it off and focus on dream's voice, which leads to you unconsciously falling asleep on his chest

after a few seconds talking, dream would realize your sleeping figure in his embrace and OHMYGOD

HE WANTS TO FREAK OUT SO BAD BECAUSE HOW CUTE YOU WERE—

lowkey scared that he might somehow crush you or something because you're the tiny little spoon in the current situation

man, he had to refrain himself from taking a picture of you sleeping in his embrace

and the fact that you felt safe enough to fall asleep in his arms makes him tear up (in a positive way!) 🥺

would slowly move you to a more comfortable position and carefully pull you closer to his chest, making sure that he doesn't wake you up

[hugs you tightly]

ALSO just like any other times, mans would secretly mark the date in his phone's calendar because OHMYGOD????? this date better be stamped on history books

after getting into a slightly more comfortable position, dream would just adore you— even only from looking at you, his serotonin level will always go 📈📈

would 100% whisper i love you's or other sweet words while looking at you

mans just smiling to himself, thinking about how much he loves you and adores you— and how lucky he is to have you in his embrace 🥺💞

after some time, he would start to drift away too and ending up sleeping while hugging you tightly in his arms 🥺

— GEORGE

the two of you were sleepyheads

like at the weekends? both you and george would just lazily lay on the bed and fall asleep together regardless what time it was

even at noon? NAP TIME

and today was one of those lazy days

you were laying your head on his lap, which leads to him to his habit of playing with your hair while joking around with you and talk about random things

he just absolutely adores your fluffy hair 🥺

he'd also learn how to braid hairs from youtube just so he could braid yours 🥺

AND SURPRISINGLY HE'S SO GOOD AT BRAIDING HAIRS 💞💞

the way he caressed your head was so comforting, which leads you to feel sleepy. you still wanted to talk with george so you tried fighting off the sleepiness but ended up falling asleep anyways

after not hearing a respond from you, he realized you fell asleep.

WAIT, YOU FELL ASLEEP ON HIS LAP AND THE WAY YOU LOOKED SO ADORABLE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL—

a blush crept up on his cheeks as he looked at your sleeping figure on his lap

ohmygod he absolutely adores this and 100% would plan more sleepy days with you just to see you fall alseep on his lap again

george would admire you shyly, his fingers still softly caressing your hair while making sure not to do it too hard since he doesn't want to wake you up 🥺

he looks at you > gets shy from how adorable you are and how much he loves you > look away > missing looking at you > back to the first step (put this cycle on repeat)

GOSH he just wants to pull you close to his embrace now but that's not possible to do since he doesn't want to wake you up ;(

as he secretly admires you, he would slowly feel sleepy too but he doesn't want to move you away from his lap

so this man right here decided to just sleep in a sitting position which he didn't mind too much since he could still lean his back on the stacked pillows

come on— he doesn't wanna ruin this adorable moment :( it's worth the back pain according to him 👍

and so with that, the two of you fell alseep peacefully 🥺💞

— SAPNAP

mans a whole ass tease @ you

mf would browse through hundreds of websites and collect the cheesiest jokes he can find to use them on you later 😳

also won't stop clinging on you for 24/7 but you don't mind since he's so adorable 🥺💞

and today was just the same like any other days, he clung on you and begged you to cuddle with him

how can you refuse such a sweet offer????

so here you are now laying on the bed with his arms around your shoulders, holding you close to him

the two of you would just joke and laugh at many things, just havin' a wholesome fun time 🥺

don't forget the fluffy blankets around the two of you (you adore soft blankets so sapnap bought you at least 3 blankets and you absolutely loved all three of them 🥺)

until at one point everything felt so comfortable that you didn't even realize you were drifting yourself to sleep

and the moment sapnap realized you fell asleep sweetly in his embrace?

[!(-?#?2@&&????? SCREAMS???? —NO, MAKE THE SCREAM SILENT SO IT WON'T WAKE YOU UP]

he can't help but let out a soft chuckle when saw your sleeping figure

oh man, he was gripping on the pillow tightly so that he doesn't lose control and pull you closer to him which could wake you up

100% gonna make you cuddle with him everyday until you fall asleep on him (mans just making it a routine now)

he would also have to refrain himself from squishing your cheeks while looking at you in awe 🥺💞

even though he's growing sleepy too, he won't give in so easily

like— hello??? a cutie pie just fell asleep in my arms, sleep can wait 🖐🖐

but then eventually he'll fall asleep anyways, but he swore he tried his best keeping his eyelids up and that's sweet 🥺

((would 100% unconsciously pull you closer and just hug you tightly in his sleep ♡))

— QUACKITY

we all know how much alex LOVES driving and mans really good at it (he knows what he's doing fellas)

especially with you 😳😳

the two of you would blast banger songs together while enjoying the road and the pretty view from the window 🥺

it was one of those afternoons again where the two of you went for a stroll with his car

both you and alex planned on only going for a short stroll, but ended up strolling around for almost 3 hours now

but neither of you cared, alex loves spending lots of time with you and same goes with you 🥺💞

the two of you wanted to get some fresh air for a bit after such a long drive, so you stopped by at the nearest field before driving back home

and man, the view was indeed beautiful

the two of you had moved to the back seat so he can get closer to you

as the two of you talked while watching the sun setting down, you started feeling a little bit sleepy

you shrugged it off at first and continued to talk with alex, but then you couldn't help but fall asleep with your head leaned on his shoulders eventually

and when he realized you has fallen asleep on his shoulders?

OH MY— HIS HEART WENT BRRRRRR BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE YOU ARE

definitely will plan on doing this in the furture but at home so he can just adore your sleeping figure for as long as he wants to

he has to drive back home but this moment is very important so he chose to stay there for at least the next 1 more hour 🥺💞

he just wants to kiss you on the forehead so bad but he's scared that he might wake you up :[

but then again, it was getting really late and he has to drive the two of you back home so he would carefully make you lay down on the back seat and he would put his jacket underneath your head as a pillow 🥺💞

and when the two of you arrived back home, he would carefully carry you back in and just cuddle you up for the rest of the night until he falls asleep too ♡

— KARL

karl jacobs has 2 moods : the wholesome mood and the cursed mood, no in betweens

he can either be very wholesome and send you the cutest hamster pics ever or just send you cursed, unexplainable images like macaronis boiled in gatorade

but even though he's in the cursed mood, his clinginess for you will stay the same ♡ (which you absolutely loved)

you loved both of his moods anyways since it's sweet and funny 🥺💞

today, he was feeling extra wholesome so he would just chill with you on the sofa in your matching frog hoodies and your head on his lap

((yes, he bought matching frog hoodies with you at christmas to wear them together 🥺👉👈))

the two of you would be watching cartoons, especially adventure time!! (it's superior cartoon, you can't change my mind)

then as time passes by, you felt your eyelids grew heavy but you tried fighting it back

yeah, you ended up falling asleep at the end 😔

karl noticed how you grew silent and when he checked on you only to see you sleeping on his lap?

yeah karl's never gonna leave his seat, 100%

mans just smiling to himself from looking at how cute you are in your oversized frog hoodie, asleep on his lap 🥺

GOSH this better happen frequently in the future because if not? he'll commit ARSON

he would try softly play with your hair, making sure his touches were soft so he doesn't wake you up

the cartoon is now long forgotten, his focus is just full on the sweetheart sleeping on his lap 🥺💞

he would constantly check on you and pull the blanket back up to your body if it moves back down, and make sure that he doesn't shift his legs too much because it might wake you up :(

will also try his best to not fall asleep because MAN, HE CAN'T JUST SKIP THIS HISTORICAL MOMENT

but he fell asleep anyways after holding back for around 40 minutes, which is impressive 😳

just like george, he doesn't mind falling asleep in a sitting position 👍 backpain = worth it

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gojology · 3 years

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Let Me Spoil You. (18+) (NSFW)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | I AM FEEDING U GUYS SO GOOD ???? holy mother of a goose i poured my blood sweat and tears into this, bumping to yung gravy as i write this so u alrdy know this is gonna be a banger!!! also i didn’t edit at all and i got so lazy at the end n i didnt wanna scrap this so uhh sorry if its bad 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Dom Gojo x Sub Female Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 3683 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | Dub-Con (I think?) Inexperienced Virgin Reader, Somnophilia, Degradation, Dom/Sub, Edging, Begging, Spitting 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | It’s your one month anniversary, and you really don’t like Gojo spoiling you, Gojo gets frustrated, he teaches you a lesson. A soft orange filter glazed the bathroom, a humid breeze blowing in weakly from the window that was always open, no matter what. The shower head lightly sprinkled on you, mumbling curses to the shower head, you swatted, and lightly tapped it a few times before you realized you had to change the water pressure. Facepalming, you hadn’t realized that you had changed the water pressure to ungodly levels. It was too late when you had realized, the water shot at your face, practically pushing you back. Water droplets adorned your cheeks, and your hair suddenly decreased in volume. Gasping for air, you used your arm to wipe your eyes and quickly turned the temperature up to anything other than the freezing bitter cold, you stretched, indulging in the refreshing, hot water. You had just gone out with Gojo for a luxurious dinner, even though it wasn’t quite your style, Gojo had insisted on taking you out to a fine-dining establishment. Small cuts of steak, with absurdly expensive champagne on the side, and of course, Gojo’s favorite, absurdly expensive desserts. It had been almost a month since you had began to go out with him, and he had tried treating you like a princess ever since. Anything you set your eyes on, he offered to buy it, whipping out a black leather wallet that was close to snapping. Thick wads of cash sat untouched, and you always politely declined. He had always argued with you, telling you that it was a given for significant others to spoil their loved ones. You always brushed it off, but in the latest argument between you two, Gojo was persistent, insisting that you were to dress in your finest and so that he could, “finally spoil my babygirl.” You could still remember how the conversation went. “No, Satoru.” you scoffed, turning to face him, leaning on the counter. Your arms crossed over your chest, “We can get JUST as good food if we order take out or some shit.” “Listen, sweetheart,” he immediately rushed over, his hand on your ass, rubbing up and down, his other caressing your neck. “It’s nothing on me financially, I can handle it, I want to spoil you princess.” You shook your head, looking down. He took his hand off your neck and rubbed his. “I rarely get to spend time with you, between the meetings and the missions and training Yuuji, so let me do it just this once, is that okay, pumpkin? Besides, what do you lose from this? I made the reservation too, so we don’t have to wait. It’s a win win~” You glanced up, before looking down again, ruffling your hair. An awkward silence grew between you two. What did you lose from this? Even though Gojo was absolutely loaded, you still felt terrible spending money for unnecessary shit. He looked at you, placing his hand on his chin, he looked like he was thinking, which was unusual, because the guy was as dumb as a snail sometimes. He let out a small “hm” stroking his chin as if he was debating with world renowned scholars before finally opening his mouth, “Oooooooooh, I get it now!” You sighed, so dramatic. He leaned forward, you always forgot how ridiculously tall he was, and how much he loomed over your figure. “Babe, don’t feel bad.” he tipped your chin upward so he could look you in the eye, even though he was quite literally wearing his blindfold, “this has been our 1 month anniversary, and what’s an anniversary without spending money on unnecessary shit?” “I mean, I guess..” Hesitantly agreeing, he shoved you upstairs into his room (and yours as well!) to throw on the best formal looking outfit you could find last minute. Digging through the drawers, you found a skin-tight black sundress that you had paired with a layered delicate necklace Gojo had gifted you on your second week of dating. Hastily throwing on gold rings and a gold anklet just for the fun of it, you fluffed up your hair. You looked at your black high heels. Hey, if you were gonna be so lavish looking, why not go all out? You regretted that train of thought later on, and wondered why you didn’t just pull up in a simple white t-shirt. Regardless, it was worth it at the end. Gojo looked stunning that night. Swapping out the regular blindfold for a pair of black sunglasses, it accentuated his chiseled features even more. His hair wasn’t what it was usually, it wasn’t spiked up at all. Instead, he wore it down. It looked much softer, and it framed his face perfectly. He wore a buttoned down dress shirt, and you felt your heart swell when other woman watched him walk by, their faces faltering when they realized his arm around your waist. He even went to the extent of pulling the chairs out for you, and opening the car door, as if you were truly a princess. Admittedly, you found yourself enjoying the fine dining, even with the ridiculously small portions. The atmosphere, and the pampering from the waiters had grown on you. While thinking about the events of your anniversary, the door creaked opened, Gojo’s head peaked just above the foggy glass doors of the shower. You slightly slid the door open just a crack, you knew that most couples would immediately open the door and have their arms out, waiting for their significant other to immediately pleasure them in the shower, but you hadn’t done anything like that with Gojo yet. Instantly met with his incredibly toned body, glowing in the hazy amber light from the window, you gulped. A towel draped over his veiny arms, and an incredibly large t-shirt with panties in the other. You quickly realized the t-shirt as the one Gojo often wore, you had never worn one of his t-shirts before. The endless missions had obviously done him well, he looked like he was sculpted from marble, a gift from heaven. Arms strong enough to hold the world, you wondered what it would be like to have him carry you around. Your face flushed a bright red, you didn’t even know what it was like to be carried by him, the furthest you both went was making out, and even you had found yourself being too bad at it to do it consistently. Lost in thought, you didn’t even realize what Gojo was saying. “Sugarplum? I got your clothes.” he murmured softly, setting the towel and clothes down. Your breath hitched, watching his head turn to face the shower. Instantaneously looking down at your face peeking through. You were never gonna hear the end of this one. A small smile spread across his face, before disappearing into a large cocky smirk, now that he had realized what you were looking at. “It’s okay, I understand, pumpkin. Not many have the courage to tell me face to face that I’m the best. In terms of strength, and looks, and everything.” You stuck out your tongue, blowing a raspberry. “Fuck off, idiot, I’m trying to shower!” “Ouch! I didn’t say that when you were ogling at my body, didn’t I? That really hurt my feelings, weren’t you ever taught the golden rule?” His hand wove through his hair, and you couldn’t help realize how soft it looked without all the gel holding the iconic spikes together. “Treat others how you want to be treated.” he winked. Your mouth sealed shut, accepting your defeat, you slid the glass door shut loudly. You heard loud booming laughter go down the hallway, gradually getting quieter and quieter before exhaling a sigh of relief as you continued to shower. You couldn’t help but think about your boyfriend’s body once more, it seemed like a dream. Was he really yours? He had the body of a super model and he settled with you and not some ridiculously pretty girl? Anyone would take advantage of such a handsome boyfriend, showing him off for the world to see. You felt an unfamiliar throb between your legs, you looked down, head tilted to the side while also simultaneously furiously washing your hair. You hadn’t felt this throbbing too much, it was almost like a yearning, and you were almost sure you knew what it was, but you didn’t quite want to admit it yet. Shaking your head furiously, you wanted to finish your shower before anything else. Ignoring the obvious. ‧₊˚✩彡. Rubbing your hair with your towel, you had thrown on the t-shirt and panties, cursing Gojo silently for not giving you a pair of shorts. Rummaging through the drawers in your room, Gojo suddenly appeared in the hallway. “What are you looking for, love?” he leaned on the doorway, cocking his head to his side with a mischievous grin. “Why don’t you ask yourself, considering that you were the one who gave me my clothes.” you scoffed, pushing the drawer you were searching for back and moving on to the next. You had forgotten which drawer had your pants, vivid images of Gojo’s body echoing through your mind. “Your pants are on the left of the drawer.” he strode over to the king-sized bed, the mattress sinking down as he sat. “What are you thinking about?” You scoffed again, looking at him with a side eye. “I’m not thinking of anything? What are you talking about?”

“Whenever you think, you forget literally everything around you.”

Cursing the Gojo clan for ever birthing such a smart yet stupid child, you twirled around with a pair of shorts now in hand. “I do not!”

“Yeah? Okay lil girl. Oh no, you’re not wearing those.”

You felt a throb yet again when you heard him call you lil girl. He snatched the pair of shorts up, dangling it just above your head. “Can’t I ever have my girlfriend wear something remotely sexy? I love your body. I want to see it all in its glory.” He placed it back into the drawer neatly.

You froze. He was being incredibly straightforward, which wasn’t unlike Gojo, but you didn’t think he would make such large advancements. His arms snaked around your waist without you even realizing, breathing heavily as he placed your ass on his lap.

Readjusting to the new position, you looked up, fear and excitement brewing inside of you, was this going to be your first time having sex? You leaned in for a kiss.

Just as he was about to give you a taste of his lips once again, a loud ringtone sounded.

“Fuck.” he cursed to himself, digging into his pockets and whipping out his phone, he gestured for you to be quiet. You whined a little, you had now realized what you were throbbing for.

“Hello?” Gojo cocked his head to his side, placing the phone right next to his ear as it dangerously rested on his shoulder. A disgruntled look in his face, one hand squishing your ass.

“Mmmmmm, yeah, okay.” he placed the phone down on the covers, looking down to you, eye to eye.

“That was a call from Ijichi, there’s some crazy shit going on somewhere, I have to take an emergency business trip.” he kissed your forehead gently, “I love you okay?”

Disappointed with the outcome, you nodded. He gave you a gentle few pats on your back before standing up, gently rolling you over on the bed, and rummaging through the drawers for his work uniform.

“As he casually undressed in front of you, you obviously stared, savoring the last few minutes of his body before he would disappear for the next few days, or maybe even weeks, or a month.

He looked back on you, just as he was entering the hallway.

“You forgot to say I love you.”

Looking up, you cursed to yourself, he didn’t have the usual playful cocky grin, now replaced with a worried one.

“I love you too.”

‧₊˚✩彡.

It had now been a week since your 1 month anniversary, you had been blue balled so badly, it almost hurt. You were laying down on your bed, looking at the curtains flutter as a casual wind blew into the room. The sun was setting, and a beautiful dark blue canvas dotted with stars was sure to appear.

You had tried holding off, ignoring your walls desperately wrapping around something that wasn’t there. Constantly looking down, seeing that your panties were obviously soaked. The dreams weren’t helping either, Satoru had been appearing in your dreams and doing things that even he would be weirded out by, and he had seen some shit.

Your arm snaked down to your panties, hand underneath the fabric. You breathed a sigh of relief as your unexperienced fingers circled your entrance, enjoying the slight tease. You heard the slight suckle of your walls around your fingers, enjoying the full feeling.

Yet you knew that this wasn’t the extent of things, you knew that there were much bigger, capable of reaching places you wouldn’t even dream of reaching. But you enjoyed the small amounts of pleasure anyways.

You pulled your panties down, throwing it into the laundry basket and cursing yourself for making it so wet. Slowly thrusting in and out with the finger, you sighed a breath of relief.

“Fuck.” you gasped, as a white fluid pooled out of you onto the sheets. You cursed harder to yourself, realizing now that you had to wash them.

“Shit.” you couldn’t quite stop there though, you had even more aching between your legs, and you had to satisfy your cravings, you didn’t even know when Gojo would come home.

You gasped more, a second round of white fluids flowed out of you. The yearnings now gone, you yanked a tissue out of the tissue box, wiping your finger on it, too lazy to get up, you would worry about the cum later. Drifting off into a heavy sleep, dreaming once again about the ungodly things you wanted Gojo to do to you.

‧₊˚✩彡.

“Gojo, s-stop.” you looked up at him as you sat on his lap, his fingers coated with your slick. His other hand played with the hem of your skirt. Not responding, he continued to quietly fingering you.

You quickly put a hand over your mouth, letting out a muffled moan, he snickered a little, before pulling out his fingers.

You whined a bit, earning a stare from a few people. Looking up at him with puppy eyes, you felt yourself wrapping around air.

He sadistically smiled. You wondered how his eyes would look right now, unable to look at him because of his blindfold.

“Beg for it, slut.” he silently whispered, teasing your entrance. You let out a little whimper again, how were you to be quiet when he was doing all this to you?

You opened your mouth slightly, about to beg, before being shut down completely as he shoved 3 fingers into you.

You let out a loud squeak, the whole restaurant now staring at you, eyeing you even across the room with displeased faces. You looked down, embarrassed.

He was now laughing at you, you looked up to him about to silently chew him out. Before opening your mouth, you were transported into a bright room.

‧₊˚✩彡.

Your eyes blinked, readjusting to the brightness. You realized that your legs were slightly colder then your upper half, realizing that you were completely naked down there. You blinked furiously, looking around, seeing someone’s incredibly muscular chest, with unmistakable white hair.

Rubbing your eyes, making sure that you weren’t seeing things, you mumbled, “Gojo?”

You felt something squirm around inside of you, letting out a loud moan as it pulled out.

“Hm?” he murmured sleepily, you looked down.

Putting two and two together, his incredibly long fingers were glistening with a wetness. He shuffled a bit before finally sucking and licking his fingers, looking at you directly in the eye while doing so.

“What’s wrong, slut?” he smiled deviously again, resting his chin on your shoulder before thrusting 2 fingers back inside of you again. Curling them inside of you, indulging in the toe curling scream you made.

“Gojo! You’re...” he pulled his fingers out before you could finish, adding another finger, he was now up to 3.

“FUCK, SATORU!” With a lustrous glint in his eyes, he shoved his thumb and index finger into your mouth. “That’s daddy to you, and look at your body. It’s practically begging for my cock by now. Oh princess, did I play with you for too long?” he slipped his fingers out of your needy pussy, smiling into your hair. “Want daddy to fuck you?” Your mouth suddenly dry, you looked at his neck. Not knowing how to respond, you nodded vigorously, sucking on his fingers. He tipped your chin to look upwards at his face, staring directly into his aquamarine eyes. “Use your words, whore. Or you’re not getting shit.” he pulled his fingers out of your mouth. You coughed and spluttered into your arm, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. His eyes went softer, pulling you into his chest. “Oh sweetheart, did I go too rough on you?” You shook your head, before shakily replying, “I-I was just surprised y-you came e-early from the mission a-and...” you took a deep breath in, “I was... unp-prepared. Before he could reply, you blurted out, “P-please, daddy, use my tight l-little holes. I’m all yours to u-use.” He smiled, “What a cute slut. You want me to spoil you, don’t you?” You nodded, now rubbing your thighs together. Your slick coated your inner thigh and your breathing was getting hot. “How come when I offered to, you didn’t want to obey me?” “Y-you can’t compare the two-” He spat into your open mouth. Smiling a bit when he realized that you had swallowed it, looking at him with even wider puppy eyes. “No talking back, repeat after me, lil girl. When daddy wants to spoil me, I will let him spoil me.” “W-when daddy wants to s-spoil me, I...” you took a shaky breath in, “I’ll let him spoil m-me.” “That’s a good girl. Now turn to look at the wall.” he calmly replied, you obeyed, looking at the wall, anticipating for whatever happened next. You felt something big touch your entrance. Something unnecessarily big, you whimpered. Realizing it was Gojo’s dick. He chuckled a bit, smiling into your neck and then giving it a light suck. “It’s okay princess, this is your first isn’t it? I’ll make you into my cumslut afterwards. I’ll go nice and easy.” Heaving a bit, he thrusted a little inside of you. You held your breath. Strangely, it didn’t hurt at all. Even with the contrast between his incredibly thick and large cock, to your inexperienced, tight walls. “Missy, you’re so wet.” huskily muttering into your ear, “almost like you’re milking my cock. So tight.” He grunted, repositioning myself and letting out a small, “Fuck.” as he did so. You whined as he gradually put more and more of him inside of you. You tightened around his cock, drooling as you did so. You didn’t realize your mouth was open. “Babe, I can barely fucking pull out.” Gojo said, while he played with your hair, stroking your cheek. “W-why not?” “Nothing other then the fact that, a) you’re too tight around me, and b) you’re clenching incredibly hard for no real reason.” he once again, shoved his thumb and index finger for you to suck on, the other playing with your breast, his thumb rolling over your nipple. “Just relax, baby. Let daddy do all the work, okay?” You weakly nodded, as he finished shoving the last of his length inside of you. Whimpering, and yanking your pillow out from its normal position to hug it. You felt him pull out, and he slammed back inside of you once again. You swore to God that you saw the light, a wave of pleasure and your body going numb as he did so. Letting out a shrill squeak, you hugged your pillow as hard as you can, your juices flowing down into the bed now, leaving an evident trail of where it once came from. Gojo grunted, snuggling deeper into your body. There was barely any space between the two of you, but you still didn’t feel close enough. The room was filled with the sound of sticky skin against stinky skin, panting, and moans. You felt every. single. bit. of him. Now, he had begun to quicken his pace, slamming into your body more often, sending waves of pleasure inside of you. His hair stuck to his neck, sweat pouring down his body, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck, I want to cum inside of you so badly, love.” he panted out of breath. You whimpered, still unable to speak due to his fingers you were harshly sucking all this time. He laughed in response, before finally pulling out. In a blink of an eye, he shot ropes of cum on your stomach, panting. You had finally gotten a good view of his cock, big was an understatement. Veins decorated the side of it, and the tip was a rosy pink. “Lick some cum off of your pretty stomach, princess. I wanna see how pretty you look while doing so.” Both of you breathing heavily, sweat dampening the sheets, his eyes bore into you. You gulped, even though you had done something so intimate with him, dominant Gojo was nothing to mess with. You scooped some of his cum up with your finger and sucked on it, looking at him the whole time. He grunted with approval, giving you a nice headrub. “Well would you look at that.” he glanced at the wall, “it’s already morning. Wanna take a shower together, lil girl?” On any other day, you’d make up an excuse, but you figured that you’d get fucked even harder if you told him you didn’t want to. “Okay, daddy.” “Good girl.”

#gojo satoru smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojou satoru #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #dom gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojou x you

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No More Heroes III: A Sequel That Shouldn’t Exist

As the gaming industry trudges on, it’s not hard to notice a trend; games are taking longer and longer to make and the costs continue to climb. Not only does this mean more time waiting for the next installment in your favorite series, but it also has a side-effect of making companies less likely to take risks. A game underperforming nowadays could spell the end for a studio or franchise, and so only the “sure thing” games get made by the bigger publishers. In hindsight, the sixth console generation was a last hurrah for budget titles; there were SO many games of varying length, polish and quality in the era of the PS2 and GameCube. It was a time when Capcom could release absolute bangers like Resident Evil 4 but also finance something “cheap” and weird like God Hand. A time when Nintendo was ballsy enough to have a game starring Luigi as a GameCube launch title. As the HD era kicked off, it became clear that these types of games just weren’t financially viable anymore, though for a time the Wii was home to a fair few hidden gems that were still cheap to make, with one in particular standing out to me: Grasshopper Manufacture’s No More Heroes. Somehow against all odds, we’ve now arrived at a timeline where this niche series about an otaku assassin has reached a third mainline installment as a major Switch exclusive, and there’s plenty to talk about regarding it.

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

Let’s set the stage here: way back in 2007 No More Heroes released to the masses on the Wii with a…terrible launch in Japan. The West took to the game very well, however, becoming one of Grasshopper’s best-selling titles. The nerdy, perpetually horny wannabe-assassin Travis Touchdown agrees to become the world’s best assassin because some hot chick he met at a bar said she’d sleep with him if he did. That’s it. That’s the plot! Using a beam katana he got online, Travis sets out on a surreal, bloody journey that can be funny, crude, and more than anything else…memorable.

The original game was not flawless by any means; the story ran the risk of being tasteless at points, the combat was definitely wonky and the open world was empty. Despite all of that, it was filled with a unique charm that only Suda 51 could deliver; Travis was an odd beast of a protagonist. Johnny Knoxville put through a Japanese lens, he could be badass and crude one minute, and utterly pathetic and hilarious the next. While the combat wasn’t nearly as refined as many other action titles, it managed to work in motion controls in a way that was incredibly satisfying, swinging the Wii Remote for the killing blow, making it the exclamation point at the end of the sentence that was that battle. Sure, the structure of the game was a bit of a grind; being forced to work crappy temp jobs to earn enough money to unlock the next assassination fight, then having to spend several minutes driving through a barren open world to get to some actual content. I would argue that all of this helped to reinforce how much of a loser Travis was outside of his assassinations and was a good juxtaposition for all of the slaughter. This all mixed together and resulted in a game unlike anything else. You would NEVER see a AAA game that would get this weird. They’d likely have an open world littered with things to do, or just cut to the next fight without showing all of the weird grinding and dead-end jobs, but that would just suck the charm right out of it. Ultimately, it’s the kind of game that only Suda could make, and likely only during this strange transitional period to HD gaming.

A sequel would follow a few years later and despite polishing up its combat, offering more playable characters and its story having a bit more gravitas to it, the lack of marketing coupled with the Wii’s declining popularity resulted in the game’s sales being quite a disappointment. It’s worth noting that around this time Grasshopper went through some changes; Suda would move to more of an executive role, with a rare directing credit on small games like Liberation Maiden on the 3DS. Over the years, Grasshopper would face issues with the changing gaming landscape and outside of a few successes (like Lollipop Chainsaw), their games continued to be niche at best. One of their more well-known fumbles was Shadows of the Damned which faced executive meddling from Electronic Arts and the game’s eventual finished state would hit Suda particularly hard. GungHo Online Entertainment would acquire the company in 2013, and later Suda would establish a smaller team he would lead over himself, separate from GungHo’s team. It would seem that the indie explosion of the 2010s had a profound effect on Suda and with a new Nintendo console on the horizon, this all culminated in the 2017 announcement of Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes.

TSA is an odd game, even for Grasshopper and Suda 51. It is one part tribute to indie games, one part No More Heroes continuation, one part celebration of Grasshopper’s entire catalogue of games, and it all ties together with a deeply personal examination of the trials and tribulations of game development. Travis spends the game going into the game worlds of launch titles for the fictional Death Drive Mk. 2 video game console, and he develops a deep respect for Dr. Juvenile, the acclaimed developer of these games, and comes to sympathize with the sabotage of her greatest work, which has heavy parallels to the development of Shadows of the Damned. TSA was not going to be for everyone, and was a far departure from the typical No More Heroes formula, but it was also extremely experimental. Large portions of the game’s story play out in old PC-styled visual novels, various other mediums are blended into the game’s sparse cutscenes and allusions to media that Suda loves are abundant throughout. I wouldn’t say the game itself was all that fun to play to be exact though; levels went on pretty long, enemies weren’t all that interesting to fight, and the game’s clearly low budget meant there was minimal voice acting, which severely held back the ability to really bring the characters to life. That said, getting to the end gave the clue that a proper mainline entry might not be that far away. Sure enough, at E3 2019, just a few months after TSA came out, No More Heroes III was confirmed for the Switch.

I’M NOT SAYING IT’S ALIENS, BUT…

When I completed No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle, my visions for a sequel didn’t exactly line up with the No More Heroes III we eventually got, and I think that’s not entirely a bad thing. This game centers on Travis taking on a group of dangerous alien outlaws that set their sights on Earth. They’re well-mannered enough to agree to the whole Ranked Assassin battles that the series was built upon at least, so Travis is able to take them on one at a time as he slowly works his way up to Prince FU, the leader of the bunch. At this point, Travis has fought psychopathic assassins, cyborgs, supernatural forces and sentient computer bugs, so really a fight against aliens was clearly the next step. FU is a fun antagonist on his own; he gets WAY more screen time to flesh out his cocky, laid-back personality, compared to most series antagonists that only show up at the very end of the game. By going with aliens as the primary threat, this also allowed the character designs to get WEIRD, and gives a lot of potential for the boss fights of the game to be the craziest yet. I think the decision to fight off an alien invasion is an inspired one, but I wouldn’t exactly say that the end result was completely satisfying.

I want to dance around overt spoilers, but generally speaking I feel like No More Heroes III’s narrative is very weak overall. For as much potential as the alien plotline has, the vast majority of the aliens Travis has to fight aren’t all that memorable by series standards. In some cases this seems deliberate, but on the whole I feel like the premise was wasted. Adding to that, established characters in the franchise, such as Travis’ disciple Shinobu or the likes of Bad Girl and her father, Bad Man (who got a lot of focus in TSA) barely feature in the game at all, written out in a way that just feels uninspired. Meanwhile there are a few newer characters that get integrated into Travis’ entourage but they aren’t really given a lot of room to be developed and their presence here basically ate up the screen time that other characters could have gotten instead. Probably the most disappointing aspect of the story though is how little the relationship between the primary antagonists is explored. At the game’s start, we’re treated to a nice 2D animated sequence that shows a young boy named Damon meeting a young Prince FU, nursing him back to health and helping him to find a way back home. FU promises Damon he’d return in 20 years’ time…and that’s when this game kicks off. At first glance Damon is shocked at FU’s extremely aggressive demeanor and seems concerned with FU’s dreams of conquest, but then the rest of the game never really delves into it at all. We don’t find out why FU turned out the way he did (outside of some dialogue where he was allegedly “always” like this), and as for Damon…I have my own ideas about why he got so little focus, so put a pin in it for now. Ultimately, the story feels somewhat incomplete and rushed…and then I read an interview wherein Suda stated that around an hour of cutscenes for the game had to be gutted, and suddenly it all makes sense.

All that said though, I’d argue the overall presentation is still pretty good and hits a lot of high points. The game blends in a lot of different mediums and at every turn there are allusions to all kinds of media. Each chapter of the game is given its own psychedelic pseudo-live-action intro that homages old Ultraman opening themes, there’s a mecha anime-styled ending theme for each chapter, super-deformed eyecatches in-between chapters and…loading screens that mimic the Netflix interface as the next chapter begins. At every point you’re assaulted with different art styles and bright, garish colors and it can be a real feast for the eyes. That said, there are also parts of the game that are pretty crude, and I don’t think it’s wholly a deliberate choice. While the character models for Travis, other NPCs and enemies are all often pretty detailed and animated well enough, the environments are often very low-poly and lack detail. Driving through the open world sections in the game, you’re treated to some pretty bad pop-in and lighting that frequently breaks. Areas are just as barren as they were back in the Wii original, but it’s a lot less forgivable given the boost in power between the Wii and Switch. Parts of this game can look really nice, but other parts feel like they come from generations past. Audio-wise, I think III has a fairly solid soundtrack with a lot of variety, including lo-fi rap and techno, though I’m not sure how well it will hold up to the previous mainline entries for me. The voice acting, meanwhile, is fantastic and I’m glad most of the actors from previous entries could reprise their roles even all of these years later. Robin Atkins Downs IS Travis Touchdown and I don’t think anyone else could ever successfully play him, and across the board I think most everyone delivers a good performance, even if a lot of the cast had little material to work with. All that said, the combat is where I think this game surprised me the most.

I STUDIED THE BLADE

Across Grasshopper’s entire catalog, I’d say their action games are…functional, but often lacking in polish, though I’m clearly spoiled by the likes of Capcom and PlatinumGames action titles that prioritize the feel of the action above all else. The first two titles in this franchise are mostly fine and have good ideas; they just needed a bit more time to fine-tune things. TSA was more arcade-like in the action department and the focus there felt more designed around using your special Death Glove powers over your beam katana. I was a tad worried going into No More Heroes III but coming out of it, this is the best combat the series has ever had and quite possibly the best combat in any Grasshopper game. It feels way more polished and responsive, and you actually fight enemies that are varied in design, forcing you to change up your ways to approach them. Travis can still use a few Death Glove powers that run off of cool downs, but the game still allows for fun with the beam katana slicing and dicing opponents. Killing enemies triggers a roulette wheel that has the chance to give you a random power-up (up to and including Travis donning his new fancy power armor), and other aspects like his wrestling moves and his perfect dodge have way more use. In old games, you could only grapple enemies that were stunned with melee attacks, but in this game, if you can get behind opponents, you can just suplex them for free and it feels really satisfying to land a good grapple, and then performing a grab on a stunned enemy also replenishes your swords battery which allows you to keep fighting without stopping to uh…you know…shake some life into it. The Dark Step maneuver in the first two games was more than a little inconsistent, but in this game the Perfect Dodge feels more tuned. Dodge at the last moment and you can hack away at enemies while time is slowed down, or go right for a grab! I wouldn’t say the game’s perfect though.

While the combat is much improved and polished, there’s still some jank. For example, if Travis dodges and time slows down, enemies remain in their attack animations even as you hack away at them, and in a lot of occasions, the instant the slowdown stops I end up getting hit by the attack that I had already dodged…because the game still treats it as being active and the enemy never stopped attacking even though I was slicing them up in the slowed down time. Compare that with, say, Bayonetta, where attacking enemies while Witch Time is triggered put them into hitstun and prevented that exact issue. While I think the enemy variety is MUCH improved, with Travis fighting some really weird aliens that have more inspired designs than “thug with bat” or “thug with gun,” they tend to be a real pain to fight, and that definitely contributes to this game being a LOT harder than past entries on the whole. Travis lacks good crowd control, so he can get swarmed easily and enemies on average have a LOT of health, so you have to dedicate a lot of time to taking out a single target, all while the others are free to take shots at you from off-screen. Making use of all of your tools, from the Death Glove powers, to suplexes, to your roulette wheel can make a huge difference but on the whole some fights just feel like they go on for too long, and there’s little to do but fight.

Unlike past entries that had dedicated levels leading up to bosses, in No More Heroes III you have to instead traverse the open world to find “Designated Battles,” that Travis has to complete before the boss fight is unlocked, in addition to paying a fee, just like old times. These Designated Battles are usually just battling a few waves of enemies in an arena, though occasionally Travis will don his power armor and take to space to take on a huge boss in a shoot-em-up section. Bosses end up having little to no build-up since you just fight generic mobs of enemies that are disconnected from the fight on the whole, barring one real instance midway through the game. To a degree, the levels in the first game weren’t all that fun and cutting them out means little value is lost, but it did add some variety to the game and I really feel their absence. But maybe it would have been easier to accept if the open world sections had been fulfilling to explore on their own.

Unlike the first game, this time Travis has more than just Santa Destroy to explore. There’s also the suburban Perfect World, the desert wasteland in the Thunderdome, the dusty, war-torn Call of Battle ruins, the suspiciously plain Neo Brazil and Damon Tower, which is sadly the smallest area in the game, being little more than a corridor leading to the final boss. While it was nice to explore Santa Destroy again and see what changed, most areas in the game still feel very empty. In the case of places like the Thunderdome it makes sense, though Neo Brazil is little more than a parking lot…with a bustling city looming in the distance you can’t visit. With Suda it’s hard to tell if this is a joke on the player, or just issues with development. Looking at the map, many areas are labeled as a “forbidden zone,” and you never get the ability to travel there throughout the game. It’s anyone’s guess if this was done as a joke, a consequence of development scaling back, or perhaps planting seeds for future DLC. While I can somewhat commend Suda for bringing back the open world aspects that only the first game really had, I do question the execution and feel that the ambition might have been better spent elsewhere on the game. Why make SIX areas that feel lacking to explore, when you could have fleshed out a single area instead?

While I decry the game world for feeling a bit lacking, there are things to do. Travis can engage in various odd jobs to earn money for the ranking battles, and there are a few sidequests players can engage in. Compared to the first game, the grind isn’t nearly as much of a problem; you earn money for doing just about anything in the game and the jobs are often quick and mostly painless. Travis can pick up trash in rivers while fighting off alligators, unclog toilets, help the coast guard fend off giant alligator attacks, or race street punks on his bike to get them off the road and stop disturbing the peace. The only side activity I find to be absolutely bad is mining, where players are forced to navigate super tightly-packed mines where it’s both easy to get lost, and easy to fall into lava pits that immediately cause a game over. Said area is one of the only times in the game Travis needs to jump…and thank God for that because his jump is pretty stiff and laggy. There are also a lot of optional fights players can engage with that open up as the game goes on, but they mostly felt like padding. Not only are some of these later fights absolutely grueling (try fighting 25 waves of enemies for over a half hour!), they also seemed to glitch. The wrong mission would load in, which in turn prevented me from actually unlocking a good amount of later missions. Nothing game breaking of course, but if you’re going for 100% completion you might be in for quite the headache.

UNFLINCHING INDULGENCE

In the long gap between No More Heroes 2 and No More Heroes III, I did my best to expand my horizons when it came to games. I dipped my toe into a lot of franchises I’ve never played before, and played what some might call modern masterpieces. In that time, I think I grew quite spoiled by playing games developed by people that were masters of their craft, and when it comes to these smaller, more experimental titles, I often can’t help but compare them, which isn’t really fair. Like, OF COURSE Breath of the Wild wipes the floor with No More Heroes III when it comes to making a great open world. It’s no surprise at all that Bayonetta or Devil May Cry has more fleshed-out, satisfying combat. Major console exclusives look and run better than this game does a lot of the time, and to say that I’ve played games with better stories than this should probably go without saying. This goes beyond No More Heroes III and can apply to a lot of Grasshopper’s catalog; their games aren’t the biggest or shiniest, they aren’t the most polished and they often suffer from some pretty big flaws…but I still love them anyway because no one else makes games like them.

Like I said at the beginning, gaming has changed a lot in the last decade or so. The budget for games balloons and niche games grow ever smaller. We need these artsy, weird games now more than ever so we can actually have some variety. Not to get on a soapbox, but so much of modern gaming is made up of live-service games that are more concerned with being a constant form of revenue rather than being an entertaining experience, and if they aren’t that, they’re incredibly homogenized. But games with Suda 51 at the helm have an identity. For what they lack in raw visual fidelity or content, they make up for in earnestness and creativity. These are games where characters can just sit on the couch and shoot the shit about anime and movies they like; seriously, the ending of every chapter of the game just has Travis and Bishop talking about Takeshi Miike movies or the latest Kamen Rider show, and it’s clear Suda does this so that he can just talk about the stuff he loves. He uses these games to make commentary on what he likes or doesn’t like about the industry, and honestly I have to admire the courage it takes to be so indulgent. To just homage anything and everything at a given moment, to tie your games together into a loosely-connected universe filled to the brim with callbacks and continuity nods that only the most seasoned Grasshopper fan is going to get.

You have to be tuned to a very specific wavelength to really “gel” with Grasshopper Manufacture’s games, I think. I’m not trying to be elitist when I say that; it’s just that these games clearly aren’t for everyone. They’re dumb, they’re crude, and they are often really janky and barely hold together under close inspection. I can’t say I can recommend their games to everyone, but for a certain niche, if they “get” it? They’re gonna have a FANTASTIC time. Because they found a game that isn’t afraid to not always make sense, or work for everyone. They found a game that, despite any flaws it has, can still shine through and make a connection with the player.

I’d say at the end of the day I’m happy that No More Heroes III got to exist at all and it feels like a small miracle that it happened. In some ways this isn’t the ideal sequel I wanted, but in others it did things I never could have expected, which leaves me with a game that was still very memorable. Knowing that Grasshopper has had its ups and downs and the actual team on this particular game was quite a bit smaller than I had expected, I find that III is a fairly ambitious product. While to a degree it might be held back a bit by Switch hardware, I’m also sure that the pandemic impacted the game quite a bit as well. Seeing as this missed the initial 2020 release date, and hearing of aspects of the game that were left on the cutting room floor, this game was undeniably a result of compromise. That’s pretty much the case with most things though, and this series has even had some jokes about things that had to be cut from the games to ship on time, so it isn’t a huge surprise. Admittedly though, having over a decade to dream about what a true end to the No More Heroes trilogy could be definitely clouds my judgment on this game a bit; there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder what could have been. At the same time, I’m just thankful this got to exist in any state, and if I’m being honest and looking at this game on its own merits, No More Heroes III is a fun, stylish, and occasionally uneven ride that leaves me hopeful that Suda remains in the director’s chair for more fun stuff down the line. For a game that I had begun to imagine would never exist, it made out OK, and the world is better for having more wacky appearances from Travis Touchdown. According to Suda 51, this is the last No More Heroes game, but I certainly hope there is more to come from his one-of-a-kind mind.

Start the game.

-B

#no more heroes #no more heroes iii #no more heroes 3 #nmh3 #travis touchdown #suda 51 #nintendo switch #action game #xb-squaredx

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bao3bei4 · 3 years

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kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right.

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one.

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked.

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did.

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction.

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere.

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015.

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found.

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you.

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom.

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people.

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right.

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age.

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible.

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses.

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad!

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare).

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever.

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about.

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story.

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.)

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf.

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes.

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god.

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair.

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah.

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010.

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it.

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu.

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video.

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories.

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably.

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious.

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to.

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended.

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see.

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down.

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not.

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place.

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine!

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them.

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.)

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad.

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again.

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies.

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

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