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love-is-a-pearl · 2 months

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HERE THEY ARE!!! FINALLY!!!

My designs for everyone's aged up looks! As well as their bios here👀

#i can finally post all the drawings I have with them now #pokeani #anipoke #pokemon future #pokemon anime #aged up characters #|→ friendships are diamonds #i still have some things to include and whatnot #and somethings may change specially if legends za give me anything good like new megas but i doubt I will change much more than poke teams #unless the anime brings back ash then in that case i will just delete everything and sob in a corner in pure spite #unpopular opinion i want him to never come back #|→ pokemon: future

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant

#positivity #pro aging #also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye #saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end #i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks #it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging #in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom #as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you #older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake #and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints #and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself #and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older #but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences #and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body #i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was #i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it #and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World #it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living #inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH #didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????

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softpine · 6 months

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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩

#we're so back baby #i think i'm finallyyyy through the worst of this awful depression i've been in for the past like. month and a half #i mean i woke up this morning and thought ''the sun is so beautiful'' so i think i'm good for now fjksjds #which is great because there's some heavy stuff coming up that i just couldn't handle in that mental state #so i'm hoping i'll be able to move things along a little quicker #but also i might be getting a job in retail against my better judgement so who knows #i've never actually worked in retail... i've done food service and i was a cashier at a pop up shop but nothing like an actual store #but i seriously can't find a job with my degree nor can i even find a desk job. so i'm. man. it's rough out here #i might have to move. but with what money?? lmao the eternal dilemma #SORRY this is a whole diary entry #i hope you guys are well 💖

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stuckinapril · 3 months

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One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps

#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who’s also a heart surgeon #And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do #The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational #Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments #Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo”#Basically implying he might be dead in a year #AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was #And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went .#Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon #I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him #I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that #I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed #So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects #And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today #I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too #p

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aetherdecember · 4 months

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Look, I love BBC Merlin and how they told the lore, but I’m a sucker for the relationship between Arthur and Mordred in the mythology. Specifically, I love how Mary Stewart (author of The Arthurian Saga**) and Nancy Springer (author of I Am Mordred**) wrote about the father/son relationship between them. So naturally, my brain has been conjuring up how I can include that in my Flipping the Coin au.

Since the main premise is Merlin died/Arthur lives, and now Arthur is the one waiting for Merlin to come back, things would stay consistent with canon up to the last episode (when Merlin flips the coin of their destiny and sacrifices himself so Arthur can live and thus stop Camlann from happening altogether). Which is where this idea will start:

Gwen is barren. She and Arthur never have kids. Eventually, everyone Arthur knows and loves dies. He can’t rule Camelot forever, and after Gwen’s death, he no longer wants to, so he fakes his death and wanders off figure out why he’s still here. He never gets an answer for that. Arthur spends the next millennium waiting. He keeps living. He meets people, experiences things he’d never experienced before, and learns things he’d never dreamed of learning. He can’t stay anywhere long, or else suspicions will rise, but he gets to see the world change, how technology advances, and witness humans continuing to be humans. When war breaks out, he joins the battle. It’s familiar. The rush of adrenaline is the same whether he’s wielding a sword or a gun. Only, he can’t see the enemy’s face anymore.

Peace comes again. At some point, he sleeps with a woman, and she happens to become pregnant. Bisexual disaster that he is, he’s had all sorts of partners from both sexes, but has never had this happen, even before the advent of reliable birth control. Later, he’ll learn her name is Morgause. She doesn’t look like the Morgause he knew before, nor does she act like her, but her name haunts him. After the baby is born, she gives him to Arthur, says she has no intentions of being a mother, and leaves. The last thing she had said to him was the baby’s name.

Mordred.

That night, Arthur holds Mordred and weeps.

There is irony in his son being named Mordred. First, in that the legends surrounding him, Merlin, Camelot, the Knights of the Round Table, and all of it, had long ago decided Mordred was his son. And two, in a retelling of that legend, it had aptly phrased what he sensed was happening now. Granted, he isn’t a sorcerer, he doesn’t have magic, so he can’t support his feeling with anything other than he’d been around a long time and knew to his very core that it was true. Mordred’s birth is a signal of the beginning of the end.

Fatherhood brings him a new sense of purpose. Gone are the days of loneliness and drudgery. Every day with Mordred brings a new light into his life. Each smile is a miracle. Seeing Mordred experience things for the first time brings a new appreciation. Being there to watch him grow makes time fly like it never has before. But Arthur is afraid. He doesn’t want to be his father. He doesn’t know how to be a father, or what the right way to do it is. In all the years he’s been on the Earth, he’s never known a man who could concretely say, “This is the way to raise a son,” and actually reap the fruits of their efforts. Too frequently, he’d seen sons grow outside of the visions their fathers molded for them and receive only disappointment and disdain in return. So he was afraid, because he too had been that son.

*cue a series of fluffy father/son one shots of Arthur raising Mordred until Merlin comes back, takes one look, and is is like WTF????? No, I won’t have Mordred for a step son >:(*

**Mary Stewart and Nancy Springer have several other works, not just the stories I mentioned. The ones mentioned are the ones I’m pulling inspiration from ^^

Additional notes below the break:

Guinevere’s barrenness is not a headcanon I typically subscribe to for BBC Merlin. My headcanon is that after Arthur’s death, Gwen gives birth, and their child eventually succeeds her as ruler.

I’ve always seen Mordred’s appearance as the harbinger of Arthur’s downfall. Thus, the reason for the plot bunnies in my brain going crazy with this idea of how I could bring him in, still remain mostly canon compliant with BBC Merlin, and build off some of my favorite parts of the lore. (Mandatory disclaimer: for BBC Merlin, I don’t headcanon Mordred as Arthur’s son. But for the mythology, I do wholeheartedly support that canon.)

Arthur’s choice to participate and live once Camelot is gone is a decision to contrast my headcanon of how Merlin handled it. I don’t think Merlin thrived. I think he stayed busy, and tried to remain hopeful, but I think he was anxiously consumed with the anticipation of wondering when Arthur would come back. In this au, Arthur may or may not know that Merlin is supposed to come back (I’m still working on that detail), but he’s always been around others. I think he would seek camaraderie, and companionship, and that he would connect with others but only to a superficial level. I don’t think he’d exist in a void of loneliness. Plus, he doesn’t have the guilt of knowing he failed because the pressure from the prophecy is very one sided *coughcough*causemerlinnevertoldhim*coughcough*

Anyways, that’s enough rambling from me about this. I’ll probably share some snippets of writing next because there are some fantastic scenes coming together in the draft so stay tuned! ;D

#bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #mordred #flipping the coin #my drabbles #arthurian mythology will always be my jam #you can tear this au from my cold dead hands but it will live on #merthur #for the Merlin not wanting Mordred as a stepson joke the last Mordred he knew turned on them to join Morgana #as far as Merlin is concerned they’re the same person #he’ll come around eventually once Arthur fills him in on everything #btw Arthur’s son Mordred is unaware of all of this #he’s having to process his dad - who has never really been interested in anybody for any reason - is completely besotted with some guy #once he learns this ‘some guy’ used to be his father’s servant it does not make things better #but by then he’ll have learned enough that it does clear things up #he’s actually a big fan of Merlin #he just wasn’t prepared for love sick puppy dog Arthur 24/7 now that Merlin’s back

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milfygerard · 2 months

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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.

#barry.txt #taylor swift #putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush #which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general #whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music #her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate #shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes #onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt #i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort #to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her #if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of #milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share #taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly #shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand #idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable #in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush #and scene #should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine #i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine

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mikoran · 10 months

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i feel like everyone in this fandom needs to like take a break from it and just. hang out in another fandom for a while. remind themselves of what typical fandom environments are like because this one acts a lot differently from how fandoms typically do

#like i get it its a lot more canon focused and analysis driven than typical fandoms #but that leads to really stupid shit #like hey people can have headcanons or explore an idea that goes against characterization. thats common actually #people arent automatically not allowed to enjoy something just because it conflicts with canon #fandom is about fun its not about being right or faithful to the source material #and i think a lot of us need to be reminded of that #a lot of the debates that i see happen are really dumb and would hardly be a debate in other fandoms #because no one gives a shit #i feel like everyone who has strong feelings about certain stuff would have a stroke if they went near a fandom like mha or something #anyway case and point this fandom needs to take a step back and just. not take some stuff so seriously #like ive never seen a fandom debate characterization and shit so frequently and heatedly before #its about fun!!! not accuracy!!!#byler #stranger things #i should probably clarify this isnt vagueposting or something #no one specifically prompted this i just got reminded of some of the debates that come up a lot in the fandom

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hawkeyeslaughter · 29 days

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through heavy , heavy tears : hawkeyes first instinct is to be KIND he’s so much less guarded than trapper and even bj when first meeting people ( even ones he probably won’t like ) he always treats them with respect . i’m going to be physically ill

#i have a headcanon that people were kind of really mean to hawkeye as a kid and this little detail about him reinforces it #he very much gives like . i was weird and left out as a kid but people love me now and i never want to be like those people who left me out #i feel like you see it most heavily with radar but he also does this thing when he steps back when he realizes he’s actually hurt someone’s #feelings .#idk like #he’s not kind ALL the time . like he obviously jokes around a LOT and some of those jokes can be pretty mean and even then sometimes he has #trouble apologizing #but at the same time ( most of the time ) if he realizes something has gone too far he’ll do what he can to express that he didn’t mean it i #in his own hawkeye way #i’m thinking about in ‘ for want of a boot ‘ when trapper calls radar short and radar gets upset about it and hawk’s like #‘ hey you know he’s only joking ‘ in that soft voice #or in ‘ house arrest ‘ when radar gets the platform shoes and hawkeye was like ‘ i was out of line for making fun of you ‘#those are the instances that come to mind but there’s a TON more #idk i just really love that detail about him #that he’s willing to step back and recognize when a joke’s maybe gone too far #he even does it with frank and charles #mash #mashposting #m*a*s*h #mash 4077 #hawkeye pierce #hawkeye

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chucktaylorupset · 2 years

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its been a million years. percy has gone from young millenial to squarely gen z. i think that while he’s up on that mountain demanding the gods pay their fucking child support, he should tell hera at the top of his sixteen year old pipsqueak lungs that polyamory is a thing now and she doesn’t have to define her marriage the traditional way if she doesn’t want to. she’s the goddess of all marriages! that includes these modern ones too!!

hera is like zeus would you agree to an open relationship zeus is like SOLD i have been trying to do this for years, completely neglects to read the fine print that this goes two ways before signing on the dotted line for this deal with the prada wearing devil because fundamentally, zeus is an asshole

hera starts hooking up with committed married couples and having SUPREMELY powerful demigod children. they are all her favorites and she lavishes them with powers and gifts and attention. she has, unlike the other gods, no millenia of experience with mortal children to temper her reaction, and so this whole move honestly causes more problems than not.

meanwhile hades and persephone; poeseidon and amphirite; dionysus and ariadne; all of them have been trying to talk to hera about this thing for DECADES and then perseus fucking protagonist powers jackson comes in and turns a quarter of a century into wasted work.

#my post #pjo #it's very key that zeus is big butthurt about this #and that most of the olympians are ethically nonmonogamous thanks to some great work done by either aphrodite or eros #back at the end of the 1900s #being a child of hera is extremely weird because you're not prepared for it like most single parents of demigods are #also most of heras partners come out okay but ALL of them are 'blessed' to never be divorced which uh #can have some variability in terms of results #gods are complicated kids #a lot of hera demigods come up with parents who have very healthy relationships and pass on those emotional intelligence skills!#and then they start coming into their powers and suddenly they inherit a girlboss pta mom who will speak to the manager #and WILL support them taking over the world cause it's what they deserve. if that's what they want <3 #most of them are emotionally healthy enough that they don't even Want to take over the world but uh. they sure are offered that as option #if they want to #hera kids have the Oposite problem of a lot of demigods who have gods practiced in loving mortal kids #they're like i cannot stress how much we Do Not Have To Prove Ourselves to her #we have to be very careful about wanting things she will just handle them to us also #once we get married we can't divorce she would either kill us or it would Be A Thing for the rest of our lives #it's... very stressful to be a child of hera #they mostly try to befriend the chill party kids because they need to catch some Chill

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mildcicada · 24 days

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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but #elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but #he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol #but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be #og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color #obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha #i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes #and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know #trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like #would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs #i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know #i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account #of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character #also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it #so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol #tma #my art #elias bouchard #the magnus archives #some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed #for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and #assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no #there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice #i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair #my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian #ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks

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clodiuspulcher · 2 months

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today im thinking about malaria in ancient rome.

about the fact that P. falciparum (the most dangerous kind of malaria) was likely endemic at least from the 2nd century BC onward that Galen said semitertian fevers (P. falciparum infections) were more common in Rome than anywhere else in the Roman Empire that the most severe manifestations of P. falciparum (quotidian fevers + cerebral malaria) were most common in babies and young children, an epidemiological observation that indicates the transmission rate of P. falciparum was extremely high in Rome that Quintus Serenus said there was no Latin word for semitertian fevers (they used a transliteration of the Greek, 'hemitritaeos') because "no one, i think, could have named it in our language and mothers would not have wanted to"

#working on my thesis gonna bring down the mood of the whole department #but i feel like i have to honor them #and the thing about malaria that fucks me up is P. falciparum has been around for tens of thousands of years #its not a disease of agriculture like smallpox or of sanitary issues that come with civilization like typhoid #it predates agriculture its been found in the bodies of mummies from ancient egypt and skeletons from ancient greece and rome #there are species-specific plasmodium parasites for gorrillas chimpanzees and humans #which to me indicates there was a plasmodium parasite for every now lost hominid #malaria is the strongest recent evolutionary pressure on the human genome #upwards of 30% of people in some parts of the world are heterozygous for sickle cell anemia #or heterozygous for SE asian ovalocytosis #thus it was more evolutionarily advantageous for 2-3% of all children to die #so about 30% of people could be protected from severe malaria #these mutations take a long time to evolve. parasites take a long time to evolve #there are people who mourned their infants tens of thousands of years ago in languages we will never know with rituals we will never see #and i cant do anything about any of that but i can keep going to the lab every day and trying my best to figure it out #because so many generations of humans stretching back to before we were human could not

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kaurwreck · 18 days

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I get why people like the idea of Chuuya with corruption scars, but I find it so casually devastating that he canonically only has (1) the scars from intensely serious wounds that have reached him despite his ability, which would include Shirase's betrayal and N's torture, and (2) the graphite in his wrist that evidences he had the same spitfire as a child that he has as an adult, that he is who he's always been even without his memories.

Especially in the context of Kafka Asagiri's response to an interviewer asking about change as a theme:

Interviewer: I believe one of Bungo Stray Dogs' themes is that people can change....

Asagiri: I want to correct this a bit because one of the themes of Bungo Stray Dogs I want to stress is that there are things you cannot change about people.... Because of that, there are certainly other ways that character can really shine and stand out. The struggle that many humans have to overcome within themselves is something that is told over and over again in works of literature. I find that it's something that a lot of people can relate to.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #there are some things you cannot change people #come hell or high water #chuuya is who he's always been #his slightest scar doesnt matter because it means he's human #it matters because it means he's always been *himself*#loyal fierce and ready to throw down for those he loves #and that's all he needs to be assured that he's enough for whatever may come next #there is something inside of him and it is so profound and steadfast that it can cage a storm #and his promise to himself that he'll never back down is etched in graphite on his wrist

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fleshdyke · 1 year

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i know its a joke but my autistic brain is going wild at that raccoon vs goose post. why would u ever take a raccoon in a fight over a goose. geese are mean sure but theyre FINE like theyre not really gonna do much damage. the most you’ll get from a goose attack is like a bruise and MAYBE a small cut if it claws you on a spot with no clothes covering skin. the most you’ll get from a raccoon attack is rabies and die

#remember: healthy raccoons never attack unless provoked. if you’re going into a wild raccoon den and you get attacked its kind of on you.#but if one comes out of nowhere and starts attacking you that is probably a rabid animal or at least has some other serious disease #because they do NOT do that normally #healthy geese will readily attack if you get too close to their nesting sites or their chicks bc they’re very protective parents #you can literally throw geese. the only thing they have to grab you with is their beak. yes they can fly at you but they have basically a #handle you can grab. their big fucking neck. once you grab their neck (easy) you can literally throw them away #and theyll back down bc it’s a display of power. but you should run away anyways #geese aren’t really gonna carry anything that will hurt you. bird flu doesn’t affect humans (although it does become an issue if you have #pets bc it can kill cats and dogs) but raccoons carry rabies which is 100% fatal #also raccoons are a lot harder to grab and get away from bc they’re faster than you think #raccoons can run up to 25 km/h. the high average of a human’s running speed is 13 km/h #dont risk it babe. as soon as you become symptomatic for rabies you’re dead #i am 100% putting way too much thought and energy into this. however i am autistic #rambles

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quinn-pop · 9 months

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