#Basically implying he might be dead in a year

[stuckinapril]

One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps

#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who’s also a heart surgeon #And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do #The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational #Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments #Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo” #Basically implying he might be dead in a year #AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was #And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went . #Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon #I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him #I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that #I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed #So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects #And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today #I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too #p

[delirious-donna]

Atta Girl [Toji Fushiguro]

Toji has a debt to collect and you just happen to be along for the ride as his new partner. He has no need for a partner, not unless you plan on putting that smartass mouth to better use?

pairing: Toji Fushiguro x female reader

warnings: face fucking, mean Toji, light asphyxiation, rough blowjob, light degradation, mentions of blood on clothes, implied violence (not detailed and reader is not harmed in any way), cum swallowing, if this looks familiar it's a touched up version of something I wrote last year!

Masterlist

You didn’t think you could possibly miss the bickering of earlier, the yells of indignation at your mere presence, but it was far more preferable to the heavy silence of right now. Oppressive and sinister, even your measured breathing sounded deafening to your ears.

Toji Fushiguro regarded you with the dead eyes of a merciless killer, devoid of emotion and not even a smirk present on his scarred lips, it was terrifying. 

Of course, you had been unlucky enough to be partnered with the one man famed for being a lone wolf. A man that had grumbled and downright growled at you like an animal whilst you had both sat idling in the car. His chin rested against his broad palm, elbow braced on the sill of the door and he refused to meet your eye, not that you were trying particularly hard.

“Who the fuck said I needed any help? Stupid motherfuckers sending me some shitty piece of ass as backup… the fuck I need backup for?”

You hadn’t known which part to be more offended by; the insinuation that you couldn’t hold your own or the comment about you being a piece of ass. Pointing out that two were better than one had fallen on deaf ears, riling you to the point that insults were hurled like bladed weapons between the two of you.

With the air conditioning cranked to the max in a poor attempt to lower the temperature from your heated exchange, you swept your gaze over the infamous debt collector. Known for never losing a mark, always retrieving the goods and often in the most gruesome of ways, it was impossible to deny that he was hot. You never could hide your feelings and even as fucking pissed as you were at him, it was still been more than evident that you were interested. 

Toji was exactly your type, and that was the biggest problem because you had a thing for assholes. The type of man that would only ever call you things like “sweetheart” or “darling” for the sole purpose of avoiding the possibility of uttering the wrong name or worse, forgetting it altogether.

Men that wanted one thing, and it wasn’t like you were some innocent flower, but it’d be nice to be held once in a while after having your cunt split open and your make-up ruined by the steady flow of tears.

A basic white tee stretched taut across his upper torso and it only highlighted how strong Toji was, the cotton did very little to hide the definition of his chest and the cut of his strong abdominals. What might it be like to have the chance to ride those tawny abs? Thick veins ran the length of his forearms, curving over the bulge of his biceps and his hands looked like they could crush a windpipe with little effort.

Why did he have to be so fucking attractive? Why were you thinking with your pussy and not your brain? The man that you had known for all of five minutes had insulted you more times than you could draw breath, yet here you were, wet and horny.

Perhaps this was the reason your judgement lapsed. Too fogged by lust and decadent fantasies to see the ambush, and it had almost cost you your life. A job that had meant to be a cakewalk turned into a shoot out and honestly, it would have been your own fault if the worst had happened.

You were thankful that Toji had been there, that he had even bothered to shield you from the brunt of the attack and struck back with such deadly precision and fervour that you would swear he had otherworldly powers.

A choked thank you caught fast in your throat, wary of how icy his expression was whilst you took in the white tee that was now caked in drying blood and worse. A streak of crimson ran the length of his face and you wondered if he had been hurt and you simply hadn’t noticed in the carnage of the moment.

You reached out to cup his face, an instinct to care for him burning you alive but he caught your wrist before you could touch his cheek. Tough callouses rubbed at your soft skin, the roughened texture a stark contrast and one you enjoyed more than you were willing to admit.

“What the hell are ya playing at?” he yelled, forcing a meek squeak from your mouth as you jerked back from being grabbed and how angry he sounded at you.

“You’re hurt. I was…” your voice trailed away under the scrutiny of his cold, penetrating stare. A vein throbbed in the side of his thick neck and you watched it, unable to maintain eye contact with him. You were wilting faster than a flower caught in a heatwave.

“Where’s your shitty attitude gone, huh? Lost your bark now that I had to save your sorry ass? Told ya I didn’t need a goddamn partner. Nothing but fuckin’ trouble.”

Toji tossed your captured hand back into your lap, ripping down the sun visor to stare at his bloody reflection in the mirror with a heavy frown. You watched him covertly, or so you hoped. It was wrong to continue finding him sexy, especially dripping in blood but it only fed that primitive image you liked so very much. It suited him to look so dangerous and capable of violence at the drop of a hat. It kept you on your toes, never daring to find his presence comforting for fear that would be the moment he finally struck.

“I know ya like whatcha see, princess, keep staring and imma do something ‘bout it,” Toji threatened, fixing his gaze on you through the reflective surface of the mirror.

You squirmed. You blushed. You felt downright stupid. Embarrassment burned in your chest, turned you petulant once more and your sassy tongue returned with a bow.

“Yeah right. Like I’m interested in a slick motherfucker that has no respect for anyone. I’d rather suck on a cactus!”

Toji was a hair’s breadth away from snapping. There you went running that fucking mouth again. The mouth that had done nothing but snark since he had picked you up earlier that morning. It didn’t matter that it was an attractive mouth, plump lips that would look even better kiss swollen and a tongue that he would like to tangle with. None of that mattered when you couldn’t hold your own just like he had predicted.

Venom laced his every movement, acid burning in his veins as he raked your body without a care in the world for masking his action. You were pretty, a firecracker personified and he wanted to show you how he shut up little girls like you.

He had wanted to fuck the brat out of you since the moment he had laid eyes upon you. He was still pissed at being told he had to have a partner on this job but perhaps taking you would be the reward for swallowing that bitter pill.

Having to actively protect someone other than himself, and with no monetary reimbursement on top of it, he was beyond pissed and you’d know about it soon enough.

Toji moved faster than you could possibly comprehend in your tiny mind, a bloodied hand wrapping around the slender column of your throat. Thick fingers squeezed down, your supply of air drastically reduced until you are gasping and choking.

His free hand worked at his belt, never taking his penetrating stare away from your flustered face. Toji smirked in the knowledge that he was indeed correct, you were a slut for this kind of rough treatment. Cheeks warm, eyes glossy and rather than clawing at his hand for freedom, you were clinging to him with a heaving chest. Every inhale a struggle that parted your lips further and further.

“Not so fucking chatty now, are ya? I’ve got an even better idea of how to keep that mouth from spouting venom,” he hissed at you.

Your eyes grew impossibly wide as Toji’s girthy beast of a cock slapped against his abs, shirt pushed up whilst he worked on freeing himself. The tip was a deep angry scarlet, weeping thick pearls of silvery precum. A prominent mushroom head with a ridge that made your mouth salivate and twin stark veins running the length of the underside of his shaft.

He pumped it almost lazily whilst his hold on your throat relaxed, his hand moving to the back of your head and you found that you were inching closer and closer to his pussy ruining dick. The mere thought of that monster forcing your walls apart was enough for a slutty moan to roll past your lips, much to his amusement.

“That’s better. Knew ya were a filthy little thing, now then. Suck it good and I’ll consider fucking ya like you want.”

There was no second given to contemplate his request, not a chance at being able to brace yourself for what was to come. Your lips barely parted in time for his sticky tip to slip past.

Groaning at the heavy, musky taste of his skin and mingling arousal, you lapped at him like an eager little kitten. His grip shifted to trap your hair around his fist, giving an experimental tug that lifted you momentarily and caused you to whine in protest. Toji’s dark laughter rumbled through his chest, pushing you back down and forcing more of his cock between your lips.

Toji let his head fall back for a moment, the relief of your wet and wanton mouth cooling the very worst of his fiery temper. You really were very cute, sucking on his tip like it’s the first cock you’ve ever sucked and he couldn’t help himself from lifting his hips to push further into your mouth.

Your squirming lower half crouched on the passenger seat wiggled from side to side and he knew exactly what was on your mind, but first, you’d have to earn it. There was never a chance of reward without hard work.

Reclining his seat, Toji hummed at the sensation of your tongue exploring and learning his length. Your tongue flattened wide to run up and down his length before switching to a speared point to flick into the weeping slit and lave around the ridge of his cockhead.

You’re good, almost too good. He groans deep in his throat when your cheeks suction further and those wide eyes blink up into his face. You’d be fucking smiling if you could and that only made him grit his teeth in irritation, grinding down on his molars.

“Think you're such a clever cocktease, dontcha? This ain't your first cock but I bet it's the first that'll ruin ya like ya really want.”

With those words, Toji tightened his grip around your hair. His free hand pinched into your cheeks to halt the rhythmic bobbing of your head. Terrified eyes snapped to his face and he only smiles, that cold deadly mask back in place and the stretch of his scarred lips turns your blood icy.

His hips snapped upward, fucking into your mouth and forcing his fat cock deep into your throat to bully past the soft tissue at the back of your mouth. You gag around him, not a hint of oxygen getting past the blockage that is his dick. Air rushes through your nose and for a second you worried he’d pinch it shut, but it doesn't come. 

Falling back with a roll of his head along his shoulders, those sinfully dark eyes watched the thick viscous strands of saliva and arousal drip from your mouth with nothing but amusement on his face. There is only a second of reprieve to let you cough and swallow down air desperately before Toji plunged back into you. Spit bubbled at the corners of your lips, drooling slowly towards your chin and he wiped a finger through the mess to press into his mouth with a hum of satisfaction.

His pace was punishing and you knew it would be the same if he were fucking your drooling cunt. Every stroke deepens until your nose is pressed right against his stomach, the muscles contracting wildly and the coarse hairs of his pelvis scratched at your face. He held you there and you clawed at his thick muscular thighs, begging for release but also knowing that he was close to release. 

With cock twitching, a groan of pleasure sounded from his chest and the first waves of his sticky cum shot down your abused throat. Toji drew his hips back with a hiss, slapping his sensitive cock atop your pink tongue and painting it white. His bloodied hand pumped his shaft, milking it clean of everything he had whilst you could only blink through heavy tears and try not to swallow it before he finished.

Toji admired the sea of cum upon your tongue, your flushed cheeks and tears sliding down along with ruined mascara. He liked you just like this, preferred you silent with his load in your mouth. Maybe he would keep you, you’d be a real treat to break completely.

“Atta girl, swallow it all and c’mere. I’ve got plans for you…”

#delirious writes #toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut

[avelera]

I know that the Gaiman "word of God" on Dream of the Endless's romantic history is, "He has had many more lovers than the ones we see" with regards to Killalla, Alianora, Nada, Calliope, and Thessaly (ugh) and as someone who will absolutely incorporate word-of-god canon , it's the height of hypocrisy to just dismiss this.

And I will accept that probably Dream has had some sexual encounters outside those five canonical relationships, like the implied Lucifer and Titania flings.

But I just can't escape the sense that the whole, "Oh yeah, he's had tons of other lovers like, just loads of them, believe me, the dude is definitely not billions of years old and only had a half dozen romantic encounters all of which ended in tears, that would be crazy, right??" is just more... something a dude would say about their super cool dude character?

Because I personally like to, in this one instance, rigidly stick to canon as we see it on the page. And that canon is: Dream was deeply lonely and never even officially hit a half-dozen long-term lovers in his life and he only married once. He is a divorcee and he is sad and he is lonely and he would love to find someone to be with and be in a relationship and just continuously eluded him. And our evidence for this? The Wake.

We have some of Dream's past lovers show up at the Wake. Bastet specifically notes that they could have been lovers, probably should have been, but it never happened. Titania implies a relationship but won't say anything more and obviously it was not long-lasting romantically speaking, whatever it was.

But basically, if we take the Wake as an on-the-page canonical account of the living beings who were Dream's lovers and who had enough of a connection to actually show up, it's still a depressingly small number for so long a life, for a character who is defined by his romanticism and loneliness. Even if we say, give or take, there might have been a few more, none of those after Nada could be mortal, so we can't just say they're all dead. That means the other immortal lovers either didn't show up or didn't bother to speak. And sure, if there's other immortals in the mix, sure, we could "Doylist" say the comic just doesn't have room for them all but really, to me, the more compelling take is... there just weren't that many for Dream, and that it's deeply sad. Some of it was, yes, his own fault, probably a lot of it. But it's still sad.

And more importantly, it's a more interesting character. Anyone can say their stupidly powerful godlike character who is beautiful and magical and can craft dreams and stories and is this Byronic hero of poetry and darkness is also someone who had a bunch of romantic partners and can definitely hook up with anyone he wants, psshh, obviously but... a character who is all those things and can't get this one major part of their life together to the extent that he's demonstrated to want a loving partner which he is repeatedly shown to want, is just... it's a certain kind of unique for that character and I'm here for it.

#the sandman #sandman meta #dream of the endless #and this is why i ship him with Hob as a soulmate lol #because I'm also a romantic #and I like to believe there is someone out there for him in the most unlikely of places #and by unlikely I mean MOST LIKELY OF PLACES Dream he's YOUR BEST FRIEND #WHAT DO YOU THINK A RELATIONSHIP IS?? EXCEPT A PERSON YOU LIKE TO SPEND TIME WITH THE MOST?? #anyway Dream upsets me lol look at his life look at his choices I want to hit him with a baguette

[jmdbjk]

BTS Military enlistment thoughts...

These are my thoughts and opinions. Information is out there if you seek it yourself. Nothing has been confirmed by any of the members or the company.

News media says Korean male citizens Kim Namjoon, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook will be enlisting soon: Dec. 11 for the first two and Dec. 12 for the latter pair.

And that Jimin and Jungkook seem to have chosen the companion enlistment option. Yes, "option" because they could have chosen to go in separately.

Koreans who are familiar with how this all works, have tried to explain the process. From what I understand, the companion option allows them to serve their entire enlistment together.

They weren't forced and this wasn't their only option for enlistment. They chose this themselves for a reason, for personal reasons, that none of us can know because we aren't them.

Many speculate but NO ONE KNOWS their reasons!

According to various sources, they will be at the same training center as Jin. There are many groups doing ongoing training there. But I don't believe they will be in the same company that Jin serves as assistant trainer. Credible sources say that Jin's unit at the training center is not accepting recruits on Dec. 12 which is the supposed date that Jimin and Jungkook will enter the military but we don't know for sure. But being at the same training center would allow them to see each other when they have time.

This reunion:

We won't know for sure until it actually happens.

Many are throwing around wild speculation regarding the fact Jimin and Jungkook are the only two with tattoos and therefore had fewer options. But they aren't. All the members have tattoos now. The Korean military needs all the manpower they can get, they aren't excluding men with tattoos, they are just limiting the situations they can serve.

The options are limited (and only slightly) for them because very visible tattoos, especially on the arms and hands, would allow them to be identified too easily. This is a consideration and criteria that is regulated in militaries and law enforcement around the world and is not isolated to Korea. Criminals are identified by their tattoos. Military personnel can also be identified by visible tattoos. In a situation where it is imperative that enlisted remain anonymous, hand tattoos would be a dead giveaway for identification. I'm sure there are other reasons for no tattoos allowed in certain assignments.

The application process began months ago and is the same process all Korean male citizens would go through to be approved for the companion program.

No one is really discussing Tae and Namjoon, everyone is going batshit crazy over Jimin and Jungkook. Let them do their service in the manner they wish. None of you have any say-so in it so shut up.

No one is capable of or even wants to step back and consider the big picture which is more telling.

Regarding Tae and Namjoon, I would venture to say that after basic training, its possible Namjoon will serve in some capacity with the Defense Ministry's Agency for KIA Recovery & Identification which he was named ambassador for earlier this year. That office is located in Seoul I believe. The fact he is well-known publicly and he can speak English would enhance his success in an assignment of this sort. This agency recovers those who lost their lives in action during the Korean War in which American soldiers also perished.

Recovering those KIA happens near or in the DMZ.

IF the hearsay about where Jimin and Jungkook might be assigned after training has any truth, they are supposedly headed to this area as they also perform minesweeping when searching for KIA remains. Again, none of this is confirmed, I am just employing critical thinking...

Tae supposedly has chosen the Special Task Force of the Army's Capital Defense Command. That seems like it implies he'll remain within Seoul during his enlistment.

It's all speculation, but I think these men carefully considered their options and the ramifications. None of this was done on a whim, from Namjoon's ambassadorship and the possibilities of it, to Jimin and Jungkook's companion enlistment and why they chose that option, NONE OF IT WAS DONE WITHOUT CAREFUL CONSIDERATION. They had to apply MONTHS ago for the options they were allowed to choose. They are not the only men in Korea enlisting this year, there are tens of thousands of others.

No one is considering, IF Namjoon is in Seoul during his enlistment, he would have something in common with Tae. And Yoongi. And Jin will be discharged in June, Hobi will be discharged in October... the implications, the connections... their target is 2025. Nothing is a coincidence. They can't be working while enlisted, however reuniting briefly with friends over dinner and drinks is allowed... what they talk about during their get togethers is none of our business.

ALL THAT BEING SAID... Hybe did a tremendous job this past summer with the 10th anniversary Festa celebration, involving various municipality governments, procuring large corporate sponsors and communicating to news media in the almost month long series of events. They elevated the general public's awareness of BTS's impact and therefore instilled value and pride for their continued success.

No military commander would want anything to happen to the members while under their watch.

NOTHING IS A COINCIDENCE.

P.S.: The idiots sending in emails to the Defense Ministry are hurting EVERYONE. The level of lunacy knows no bounds with certain people. They suffer from a pathological psychosis. Don't engage, don't acknowledge.

#We Wait™️ #bts military enlistment #jimin #jungkook #hobi #namjoon #yoongi #taehyung #jin

[toaster-trash]

One of the things that piss me off the absolute most about popular academic Frankenstein analysis is the “Victor Frankenstein is sexist” take. Like I know I’ve spoken about this quite a lot before but god damn it’s like people just look at the text and see, “(I) looked upon Elizabeth as mine—mine to protect, love, and cherish. All praises bestowed on her I received as made to a possession of my own.”, and they just immediately go, “Oh! Oh! Sexism! Misogyny! Victor Frankenstein is a sexist! Why does he want to create the perfect man, huh? *gasp* is it because he thinks women are inferior?”

When if those people pulled their heads out of their asses for five minutes and read the rest of that paragraph, “On the evening previous to her being brought to my home, my mother had said playfully, “I have a pretty present for my Victor—tomorrow he shall have it.” And when, on the morrow, she presented Elizabeth to me as her promised gift, I, with childish seriousness, interpreted her words literally and looked upon Elizabeth as mine (…)” along with the fact that Victor explicitly says he was “about five years old”, they’d maybe consider, “huh, maybe it’s very fucked up of a mother to give her to her son as a gift and spent her entire life basically shipping these two adopted siblings together until, on her death bed, she says, “my firmest hopes of future happiness were placed on the prospect of your union. This expectation will now be the consolation of your father.” Wow, maybe that’s kind of fucked up. Maybe painting, again, a five year old, who was honesty for all intents and purposes pretty much just manipulated into thinking it was his duty to marry his adopted sister out of respect for his dead mother’s last wishes who died when he was seventeen, as a wife-beating woman hater who reanimated the dead to spite half the human population, is very very fucked up!”

Like I can’t stress this enough – both Elizabeth and Victor are victims here. Of course as the story goes on a bit and Victor is a grown adult man who’s still avoiding his feelings and fucking off across the continent with his buddy pal best friend every five minutes instead of facing his mistakes and emotions, yeah, he is honestly more or less to blame for Elizabeth’s death, but that isn’t misogyny. Avoidance of everything is like one of his integral character flaws.

And I mean if you thought the 1831 republication had some creepy undertones, look at the bloody original 1818 version.

“(My uncle) request(ed) my father (…) take charge of the infant Elizabeth, the only child of his deceased sister. “It is my wish,” he said, “that you should consider her as your own daughter, and educate her thus.”’

So just explicit incest, basically. And again, if you thought Victor’s mother was a bit creepy and pushy in the republication,

“I have often heard my mother say, that she was at that time the most beautiful child she had ever seen, and shewed signs even then of a gentle and affectionate disposition. These indications, and a desire to bind as closely as possible the ties of domestic love, determined my mother to consider Elizabeth as my future wife; a design which she never found reason to repent.”

“………A desire to bind as closely as possible the ties of domestic love?” My brother in Christ you were groomed. Fun fact, I read the 1818 version first and read that in the middle of form class and sat for a good five minutes staring flabbergasted at what the fuck I was reading.

So no, dear God no, nowhere in the text does it imply Victor Frankenstein hates women. I mean honestly it’s kind of shown in the way he talks about the Creature’s Bride that he doesn’t view women as objects and does, in fact, view them as people.

“He had sworn to quit the neighbourhood of man and hide himself in deserts, but she had not; and she, who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning animal, might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation.”

My guy basically says “well what are we expecting her to do here, immediately marry you just because she was told to?”

(Just a fun little comparison I noticed there – not to turn the conversation back to my whole “does Victor is gay” theory but I think it is interesting that Victor thinks that, that he does go “well she can’t just be expected to marry someone just because she was told to!” and then suggests to himself that she would probably rather “turn with disgust from him to the superior beauty of man” – interesting, Victor. Like Clerval’s “form so divinely wrought, and beaming with beauty”? Interesting as well that after Victor comes to that conclusion and destroys the Bride, the Creature immediately then kills Henry and only then does Victor finally go “well. I finally have to marry Elizabeth.” Feeling disheartened by sparing her your predicament only to be thrust even deeper into your own, are we?)

But yeah. “Victor Frankenstein is a full-blown women-hating misogynist” takes really piss me off. Another case of “oooh yes let’s cherry pick the text scouring it for anything we can possibly use to turn things back around to the same few analysis points we’ll reuse over and over instead of possibly considering that just because a text is written by a woman doesn’t mean that it’s a massive rant on the patriarchy disguised as a science fiction novel.”

Maybe that’s kind of sexist itself. Maybe women can just write kick-ass gothic horror sometimes. And maybe just because a work definitely has undertones about sexism and misogyny (like, fair enough, a lot of Elizabeth’s character definitely does) that doesn’t mean that the male protagonist wants to kill all women! And surprise surprise as well, works can comment on misogyny and patriarchy and acknowledge that women are treated badly in society and have been in differing ways for hundreds of years, without going “all men are inherently evil and fuck them all”. Bit of a side rant that I won’t go all into here, but just worth mentioning that after seeing this over and over again in media and analysis of media over and over again, hey, misandry won’t fix misogyny. It just makes everything considerably stupidly worse. –your friendly neighbourhood bisexual

#gothic lit #classic literature #gothic literature #goth lit #classic lit #frankenstein #frankenstein weekly #frankenstein or the modern prometheus #Victor Frankenstein #Elizabeth Lavenza #Frankenstein analysis #Clervalstein #(kind of) #frankenstein everyday

[cerulianvermillion]

Circumstances of Guizhong's Death

90% sure something's up with Guizhong's death because weapon lore is basically from the devs and is therefore reliable and yet it contradicts Cloud Retainer's account and cutscene and why in the world would Cloud Retainer of all people lie??? But her retelling doesn't really line up and Zhongli WON'T SAY ANYTHING. Mihoyo is definitely doing this with intention, because they have an eye for details. Also the yakshas appearing in the cutscene makes the timeline... Super weird???

anyway here's a list

Cloud Retainer said this: "Guizhong was overpowered by the enemy, and fell in battle. When Streetward Rambler and I arrived at the scene at long last, all that remained among the ruins... was her lifeless body."

This has several implications: CR and Ping found her when she was already dead. Her body was what was left. There were surrounded by ruins. She also fell in battle. (we don't actually who found her *first*, since the cutscene depicted everyone being there. However the phrase used was "all that remained...lifeless body" implying CR and Ping found her like that.)

SPEAKING OF THE CUTSCENE. We see her being basically petrified/turned into a statue. Again, everyone was there, even the Yakshas, and Zhongli. There was this magic shape thing above her in the cutscene, we dont know what it is. But when it played, there was this glitch effect and we see this:

again, we don't know what it is or why the devs chose to add that funky glitch effect.

WHY THIS IS WEIRD AND IMPORTANT? This is a quote from what Memory of Dust weapon lore says: "He also remembers those words she spoke at the end — again, amid the Glaze Lilies."

This alone partly contradicts CR. Glaze Lilies. Not ruins. Okay, but there could've been some ruins from battle. So this is not complete evidence. However, something else caught my eye.

this being: Zhongli was with Guizhong in her final moments.

Another very important quote: "Her final smile was a lonely one, even as her form dissolved into the finest dust. "It seems that our journey together has come to an end. As for that stone dumbbell, forget about it, would you?""

And also this: ""If you can unlock it—" Many years passed, and he was never able to unlock that dumbbell, nor would he ever learn what might have followed that sentence."

Again, according to this, Zhongli was with Guizhong in her final moments. He heard her last words. He was there/already there before she died, she was not dead yet when he was with her.

(what might've implied in this description: That Zhongli and Guizhong were alone and no one else was there, because no other persons were mentioned. Again, this is while likely is also tentative, because there was no explicit mention. This way Zhongli might've found her first.)

What matters was that there was no way they found her at the state of *already dead*. Because according to MoD, "Her Form Dissolved into the finest dust." She's turning to dust even before dying. There shouldn't have been a body to find if she literally dissolved into dust. This is Direct Contradiction from CR's account and the cutscene, which depicted her body as stone/petrified. In Memory of Dust weapon lore, Guizhong's last words were cut-off, meaning even Zhongli didn't hear everything she was going to say. This was the moment of her death- the moment she likely had completely dissolved into dust was when she was still talking to Zhongli.

Let's review

According to CR: She fell in battle, they found her body, already dead, among the ruins.

According to MoD: When she died, Zhongli was with her. He heard her last words. She dissolved into dust.

Contradictions:

In MoD lore, her form dissolved into dust but cutscene + CR said they found her body and that she was turned to stone.

They found her body among ruins/scene of battle according to CR but in MoD she died among the Glaze Lilies.

Yaksha timeline weird

Arguable/tentative/still really vague stuff: According to CR she fell in battle because she was "overpowered by the enemy"- how did that happen if Zhongli was there according to MoD? He's still alive, after all. Also ngl they had a moment™️when she died because he had heard her last words- shouldn't he be fighting lmao??? Also shouldn't the glaze lilies be destroyed by battle?

TLDR There was no way CR and Ping would've found her body if we're going purely by what was explicitly mentioned in MoD. Vice Versa, there was no way MoD scenario would have worked out the way it allegedly did if we're going by CR's account.

also what in the world was that thing that was supposedly contained in the cutscene? The one in the third picture above.

Theories.

Obviously, this means that we should not take these accounts at face value. Either *something else happened that we still don't know* OR *Only one of these accounts was right*. So there's like a bunch of theories abt this. Anyway these are just some of them.

Maybe one could argue that Zhongli petrified her body after she died and dissolved, and that both accounts are technically right. But again, such a thing was *never* mentioned by either sources. is it even possible to do such a thing? Also why in the world would he feel the need to construct a whole fake scenario instead of just telling CR and Ping? Did something happen that made him think he has to?

Irminsul mind-wipe. This one is vague but Sumeru made it a possible option. However, why? why should they erase her? What did she do, what happened? They did put a glitch effect- so was that a creative choice or where they alluding to it? Also, again, what was that thing they were containing in the cutscene? also what's inside memory of dust and why did she ask zhongli to forget it?

In MoD we see Guizhong say two contradicting things. She told Zhongli to forget about MoD. but later it seemed like she was about to tell him the opposite. We don't know what she said because she unfortunately was dead.

Some people theorized that Zhongli might've killed Guizhong himself, because of the lines in Jade cutter weapon lore. Again, why? they were close up to her death, as mentioned by MoD. If that happened, why?

So, thoughts?

#zhongli #原神 #genshin impact #rex lapis #yanwang dijun #morax #guizhong #Guili Assembly #Guili Plains #genshin lore #genshin theories #Liyue #cloud retainer #in my opinion #something happened that we don't know yet #There's something that Guizhong and Zhongli know that Zhongli has yet to share with everyone else #but what? #meta

[intotheseas]

But like. Ominis and Seb meeting MC's parents for the first time? Hear me out. Seb has nowhere to go for the summer months after the *ahem* incident in the catacomb. So MC offers both Ominis and sebby boi to stay with her for the summer. (Her parents are weird like she is)

Soooo I actually have almost this exact scene coming in a couple chapters in my fic "The Softest Magic", except without the incident and Vera only has her mother, who is the epitome of uber-caring trollmom lol. But I also want to explore how it might have been if Vera's father was alive, mess with some story points, and play around with present tense too, so here you go! Hope you don't mind that I wrote it with my MC and most of all I hope you like it! Please keep in mind I am new to writing so it definitely won't be perfect ahh and I may have run with the prompt a bit lot :) Read here on AO3 or below the break. 3,817 words.

Features: aged up characters (characters are 17), love triangle, but it's not a bad thing, they're just dancing around it trying to figure it out, hurt/comfort, healing, supportive parents doing what they do best, good parents, fluff, some liberties taken with canon (basically made Solomon an absolute arse), forgiveness.

Contains mentions of murder, violence/abuse, HL spoilers, implied teenage romance, small bit of underage drinking, cheese. Not beta read or proofread super thoroughly.

She’s sitting with him in the Room of Requirement, her thumb rubbing circles over the back of his hand. Sunlight beats down on them and it’s almost uncomfortable, too exposing. He’s bared his soul to her - both the brightest and darkest corners, and it’s taking Vera some effort to average the two. She keeps her eyes trained on his hand, not sure how to look him in the eye when he’s crying. Like it’s a little too much, like it’s a boundary they haven’t made the decision to cross yet. 

Which is pretty weird, she thinks, since she saw him kill his uncle just a few weeks ago. Since they’ve shared countless nights together with Ominis, slumped over books, demolishing poachers, falling asleep on this very sofa. The thought shakes her from her weird paralysis and she thinks, fuck it, he needs help. He needs love. 

“Come home with me this summer,” she says. “You and Ominis.” Vera meets his eyes, dead serious. “You need somewhere to go and my parents will be overenthusiastic hosts.” 

He gives her a look, like he thinks this is a trick. He gives her that look a lot lately, ever since…well, ever since the catacombs. Like he thinks he doesn’t deserve anything nice coming his way. Vera gets it, too. You don’t murder a family member, even in self-defence, and come out without some serious issues. 

It’s evident in the way he folds into himself, like a child who’s been yelled at by his father. Vera wonders briefly, how often did Solomon yell at him like that? How often did he hit him? She knows Solomon fought to kill in the catacombs. It was either them or him. 

His voice is quiet, meek. So unlike the brash and charming Sebastian she’s come to know and love over the past year. “You mean it?” 

Vera pulls him into a hug. “What else would I do? Leave you both in that cottage without Anne? Ridiculous. You and Ominis can come back with me. My parents will love you.” She feels him stiffen in her arms. “And no, I won’t tell them what happened. That parts up to you.” 

The wall behind them grates and shifts as Ominis crosses the door’s threshold. “I thought I might find you two here,” he says. His voice is soft, tentative, like he isn’t sure how to say the words, or if he should say them at all. 

Vera releases Sebastian from her grasp and gets up, pulls Ominis close. Sebastian’s situation, from the Scriptorium to the catacombs, has traumatised him, too. His best friend, maybe more than that, slipping into the Dark Arts despite his most fervent warnings, careening down the road to hell paved entirely with obsession and good intentions. Despite all his apprehensions, he’s remained loyal to Sebastian until the bitter end. Vera loves Ominis for it. She loves them both.

“Hey Omi,” she says. “I was just telling Seb this, but come home with me this summer. Both of you. My parents are going to love you.” Ominis holds on to her like a life raft, like she’s the one thing keeping him afloat in the maelstrom of fucked-up their lives have become. 

“You…you’re certain your parents would welcome two extra students?” 

Vera laughs, despite the weird atmosphere. “I’m positive. They always wanted more kids, but Mum couldn’t. They’ll be thrilled to have you.” She leads Ominis to the sofa where Sebastian is still curled into himself, like an old piece of parchment. “I won't force you, but…if you both want to, I can send them an owl right now. What do you think?” 

Ominis sits beside Sebastian, loops his arm around his back. “Sebastian? What do you think? I don’t particularly fancy the idea of spending the summer in Feldcroft…it’s too close to…everything. And my family isn’t even worth considering as an option.” Sebastian leans his head against his shoulder. 

“If Vera thinks her parents won’t care…if I won’t be an imposition-” 

“You won’t,” Vera insists.

“...then okay. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. You’re right, Ominis, the cottage isn’t an option. I don’t think I could bear being so close to…and if Anne comes back and doesn’t want to see me…” He hangs his head even lower, buries it in his hands. Ominis holds him, runs his fingers through his hair. 

Vera walks over to the table in the middle of the room, scratches down a note. 

Mum and Dad, 

Mind if I bring two of my friends home for the summer? I’ve told you about them, Ominis and Sebastian? They’ve…had a rough year. We all have. I’m giving them all the care I can, but I think some hospitality done Bell style would do them good. 

Love you and miss you lots, let me know, 

Vera

An owl comes in through the open window, hops over to her. She affixes the letter to its leg and sends it off with a few pats. 

She walks over to the sofa and drapes her arms over her two closest friends. Kisses the tops of their heads with all the tenderness she can muster. “I sent them an owl. I’m sure they’ll say yes. In the meantime…I know none of us are okay, but we have O.W.Ls in a month. We need to focus, and you both need to get your mind off of this.” She summons several books and rolls of parchment to the table in front of them. 

They groan slightly, but pull books to their laps, their quiet murmurs filling the air. It’s a step, Vera thinks. On a very long staircase. But it’s a step. 

Two days later, the Bell’s family owl, Button, swoops in through the Room of Requirement’s window, crash landing into the pile of books and parchment littering the table. He’s small and spotted, and terribly uncoordinated. Perfect in his imperfectness, as Vera’s mom likes to say. He hops excitedly on one foot, waits for Vera to untie the letter tied to his leg. 

Vera, 

Of course we don’t mind. Tell them they’re coming home. We can’t wait to meet them.

We love and miss you, too. Good luck with O.W.Ls! Can’t wait to see you!

Mum and Dad

“Well, it’s official,” Vera announces. “You two are coming home with me in a month. My parents say they can’t wait to meet you both.” The first genuine smile she’s seen in weeks graces Sebastian’s face. Ominis shoulders slump, his expression relieved, and her heart feels a little lighter. This is closer to how it was before. It’ll never be normal again, she knows, but they’ll find a new normal. 

A month passes, and day by day, step by step, they find their way toward something resembling peace. The relentless studying helps, takes their mind off of the existential horror of death and loss and replaces it with the existential horror of their futures. A better direction to look in, Vera thinks. 

Their O.W.Ls pass without incident. Vera knows she’s done terribly in History of Magic, but failing that O.W.L is basically a rite of passage for every fifth-year, anyway. They’re all exhausted for a different reason now, a reason that feels earned. Like their naps on the plush sofa in the Room of Requirement are borne out of hard work, not a desire to escape consciousness. 

And all too soon, they’re met with the scarlet train that will take them home. “Home,” Vera reminds them. “You’re coming home.” The train ride is both reflective and jumpy, an anxious energy buzzing all over the compartment. Flashes of blue skies and green fields fly by their field of vision as the train picks up speed and takes them away. Away from where it happened, away from all the daily reminders. And maybe she’s imagining it, but every metre they travel, the load feels a little less horrifying. It’ll never be gone, not completely, but like water smoothing a stone, time makes everything feel lighter. 

Sebastian’s all nerves, drumming his fingers restlessly on his leg. Vera can see the thoughts racing behind his eyes, already knows what he’s thinking. He wonders if he deserves this, if he’ll fuck this up, too. Thinks he might dare to hope a little. 

Ominis is a pool of outward calm, like usual. Vera knows better, of course. Knows he’s concerned about Sebastian, concerned about making a good first impression on her parents. 

She’s nervous, too. Nervous about the unspoken bonds between them all. She loves them both, probably as more than friends. 

No, definitely as more than friends. She thinks they might feel the same way about her, but she thinks they feel that way about each other, too, and probably have for a long time. The entire year has been a nervous yet comforting dance, the steps marked by stolen glances, lingering touches, chaste kisses on the cheek, fingers interlaced, and too many “accidental” nights spent curled around each other in front of the fire to be accidental. Vera supposes it doesn’t need to be figured out right away, as long as they’re all content. 

The smog and odour of London is overpowering as they step off the train and through Platform 9 ¾’s barrier. They’ve decided to floo straight home - no need to make her parents come all the way out here to collect them. A coffee shop nearby provides some sanctuary from the sensory overload, a cheery witch levitating several pots of coffee and tea waves to them over her shoulder as they duck in. “Back from Hogwarts, darlings? Floo point’s in the corner. You enjoy your vacations now!” 

They wave back in thanks and cross over to the crackling fireplace. Vera’s voice rings out clearly. “Bell Residence, London!” 

The vertigo-inducing, oddly squeezing sensation of floo travel is something Vera still hasn’t grown accustomed to, and she’s a little dizzy as they stumble into her kitchen. The pale yellows of the wallpaper and tablecloth deepen in the warm glow of the sun through the window. Her parents look up expectantly, happily. 

Ava, her mother, still in her lime-green Healer robes, immediately stands and gathers them all into a surprisingly crushing hug. Her blonde hair’s in its usual bun and freckles dot across her face like stars as her eyes crinkle into an enormous smile. “Welcome home, loves,” she murmurs. “I’m so happy you’re all here. I’m Ava, and this,” she points over to the man at the table, “is Riley.” 

Riley rises from the table, taller than all of them. Vera peeks to the side at Ominis and Sebastian, sees them shrink back slightly and almost giggles. Her father looks imposing, but he’s even more of a dear than Ava. His ruddy cheeks emphasise his genuine smile, and his curly tawny hair falls in every direction. Vera hugs him tightly, and Riley grabs Sebastian and Ominis, brings them into the fold. “Welcome home,” he says. “All of you.” 

Ava nearly dances around them, levitates their luggage with her wand and leads them down a long hallway toward another sun-soaked room. There are two guest beds set up, plush and feathery, with deep emerald green duvets resting on top. Vera’s bed rests to the left, her duvet a cheery yellow. “Afraid we don’t have a guest room, but this’ll do, right?” She winks, and her eyes dance with mischief. “I’m sure you’re all exhausted from the trip. Why don’t you all rest in here while Riley and I make dinner?” She steps lightly out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

Vera sits on her bed, sinking into the thick duvet. “Well,” she says. “Those are my parents.” I promise Dad is a lot less imposing than he seems. He and Mom are really playful people. It’s just kind of how they show their love.” 

Sebastian and Ominis sit, flanking her, their faces contemplative. They flop backwards, their hands finding each other by habit, fingers interlocking. 

“I don’t know if I deserve this kindness,” Sebastian admits. His brow furrows as he gazes at the ceiling. Ominis leans his head against Vera’s shoulder, reaches with his other hand to place it atop Sebastian’s. 

“Maybe it isn’t about deserving it,” Vera murmurs. “I mean, it’s happening anyway. The kindness. Trust me, my parents are going to treat you like you’re their own. And Mum has an uncanny sense with these things…you don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to, but I think you’ll find she’s a lot more understanding than you’d think.” 

Sebastian chews on her words, considers them slowly and thoughtfully. “It’s just…I feel like I’ve put enough bad into the world. Why should I accept any goodness?”

Ominis moves his hand to Sebastian’s shoulder and squeezes. “Because people are giving it to you,” he says. His tone is matter-of-fact. “It’s up to you whether you accept it. But if you’re asking me…I think you deserve some kindness.” 

They stay like this for a while, thinking and reflecting. The air between them seems both impossibly vast yet precarious, like a single action could change everything. Eventually they doze, their proximity comforting each other.

Ava’s knuckles rap against the door. “Dinner!” she calls out. The three spring up, their reverie over. 

Riley and Ava are at the table when they arrive. There are thick slices of bread Vera knows her mother baked this morning, topped with generous dollops of butter. Slices of cheddar cheese are nestled beside it, and bits of roasted meat and mashed potatoes send mouth-watering smells into the kitchen. 

Her parents smile, tell them to sit down. The food is immaculate, and Vera senses both Sebastian and Ominis feeling more at ease with the lively chatter Ave and Riley curate. They talk about O.W.Ls, their Hogwarts houses, potential future careers, and all the gossip that Ava and Riley hear around St Mungos and the Ministry. The atmosphere is warm and familiar, and it isn’t long until the family’s pet kneazles are begging for scraps at their feet. 

They end the night with a game of wizards chess, Riley insists he play with Sebastian. It’s a close game, but Riley booms with laughter when Sebastian finally checkmates him, the little chess pieces crumbling into bits and reassembling shortly after. “Seems like our daughter found a smart one,” he says approvingly. His eyes twinkle in that fatherly way, and it’s all for Sebastian. 

Meanwhile, Ava, Ominis, and Vera indulge in a spirited discussion about healing magic. Ominis is ardently interested, shares his plans to become a Healer himself. Ava is over the moon hearing this, leans forward eagerly, wants to know everything Ominis thinks. Her attention’s all for him, like she knows he never had a mother to dote over him like he should have. She probably does know, Vera thinks. She just knows things sometimes, in her perceptive way. And Ominis soaks it up. 

Ava and Riley retire to their bedroom shortly after. “Have fun tonight. Just don’t burn the flat down,” they wink. They crawl into bed together, a bubble of silence hanging between them before Ava pops it gleefully. “So, which one do you think fancies Vera?” 

Riley hums. “Sebastian, maybe? But it’s hard to tell. They might both fancy her.” His face is thoughtful. “I hope it won’t end in heartbreak for them.” 

Ava glances at him, surprised. “You think so? I think they all have a thing going. Sebastian and Ominis, too. They’re such a tight-knit little group.” She gazes at the ceiling, a smile dancing along her lips. “Well, as long as they’re happy. That’s all that matters to me. Times are certainly changing.” Riley murmurs in agreement, pulls his wife close. 

“You’re right. As long as they’re happy. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.” 

At the opposite end of the flat, Vera, Sebastian, and Ominis lay in their separate beds. Awkwardness hangs like a fog above them. No one’s sure how to dispel it. 

“This is odd, right?” Ominis’ voice is quiet, a little unsure. 

“No, it’s definitely weird,” Sebastian answers. “Vera?” 

“Oh thank Merlin,” she sighs. “I thought you two were going to stay quiet all night. “Get over here, please.” 

Sebastian and Ominis crawl under her duvet, and the three curl around each other like cats. Sleep takes them quickly. 

The next morning, Ava and Riley peek in, and Ava lightly punches Riley’s shoulder as they quietly close the door. “I told you so!” she whispers, a wide grin overtaking her face. 

Two months pass in a flash, and Ava and Riley lavish Ominis and Sebastian with affection every chance they get. Ava knows, of course, they’ve all been through something traumatic together, in that way that mothers often know. But she isn’t one to pry. Just to love. 

And as this time passes, Sebastian and Ominis feel themselves heal, bit by bit. The wounds scab over, and the horrors of the previous year begin to feel more like bad memories, and less like recurring hellscapes. The pain dulls, and the hole ripped in their lives by the events in the catacombs is lined with wonderful memories, the edges becoming smoother, easier to bear. 

They’re sitting at the table one night, lulled into comfortable camaraderie by copious amounts of butterbeer and firewhiskey. They finish their third game of wizards chess and a companionable silence settles over them. Sebastian’s eyes dart from Riley to Ava, then to Ominis and Vera. He takes their hands beneath the table and they squeeze back reassuringly. 

“Ava, Riley…can I confess something?” 

They nod, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Anything, love,” Ava reassures. 

“My uncle died near the end of term. Just before O.W.Ls. Um..it was just me and my twin sister with him. Our parents died when we were kids. Uncle Solomon was…he wasn’t good to us. I mean, I guess he was okay to Anne…she reminded him of our mother. His sister. But he hated our father, and I take after him. He…well, we didn’t get along. There were times when he hit me, and there were times when I hit him back in self-defence. I…my twin was cursed, and I was desperate to find a cure for her, even when Solomon forbade me from doing so.” 

Ava straightens in her chair, realisation dawning in her eyes. “Anne Sallow?” she asks. 

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “Yes.” 

“I remember her. We tried everything we could…it was difficult, seeing her like that. I would have liked for her to stay longer, but your uncle, he seemed determined to take care of her himself. Took her home against our advice.” 

Sebastian’s eyes are glued to the wood grain of the table. “That doesn’t surprise me,” he says quietly. “I was so desperate to find a cure for her I went down some paths I shouldn’t have. And it made him angry. But…I couldn’t stop. Vera and Ominis tried to tell me the whole time I was going too far, but…I ignored them. I wasn’t always a good friend to them. But I needed to save her. She’s all I had left.” 

Ominis and Vera scoot closer to Sebastian, wrap their arms around him. “We forgave you a long time ago,” Vera murmurs. Ominis nods. 

Sebastian’s voice breaks as he continues, a hint of the terrified boy he was at the end of term creeping back in. “I did something I really shouldn’t have. I trifled with Dark Magic, with a relic I found mentioned in a spell book. I really thought it would cure Anne. And that was too much for Solomon. He attacked us, me, Vera, and Ominis. At first, I thought he was just trying to stop me from using the relic, but after he destroyed it, he continued attacking us. I…” His voice breaks again, and tears stream down his face. “I think he was going to kill me. And maybe even Vera and Ominis. He kept hurling fire at us and…and,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “I killed him. It was either him, or me, Vera and Ominis. I chose us.” 

He stares down at the table, not daring to look up. 

Ava and Riley stare at each other, horror covering their faces. Vera observes them closely. She can see it isn’t horror at Sebastian, but his situation. The choices a young man felt he had to make. The path he went too far down. The tragic conclusion. 

They close the distance between them and hug him simultaneously. Sebastian cries into Ava’s shoulder, both weightless and burdened. “I’m sorry,” he sobs. “You’ve just been so nice to me and I…I regret it so much! I don’t know what I should have done instead. And now Anne is gone, and I don’t know where she is.” 

Ava kneels down, meets his eyes. “Sebastian…this was too much for you to deal with alone. I’m sorry…I’m sorry you went through all this. Your sister, your uncle, your parents…no, it wasn’t the right idea to get involved in the Dark Arts, but I can understand why you felt you had to.” 

He shivers in her arms. “I’ll never touch them again,” he sniffles. 

“I know,” Ava soothes. “I know.” She looks at Riley. They communicate silently. 

“You’re forgiven,” Riley murmurs. “And you’re always welcome here. That extends to you too, Ominis.” 

Vera’s parents lean back and look at Sebastian. “And we won’t tell anyone,” Ava says. “In the wrong hands, this information could really get you in trouble, even though it was self-defence.”

Riley nods. “I’m sorry people weren’t there for you when they should have been.” He pats Ava’s and Ominis’ shoulders quickly. “I know my daughter and Ominis were, and I’m glad for it, but this isn’t a situation that should have fallen into the hands of teenagers.” 

Healing is slow, and never linear, Vera thinks. But maybe this is a turning point for Sebastian. Maybe the acceptance and love he needed all along can help him get back on the right path, redeem himself in his own eyes. 

A week later, Riley and Ava usher them toward the Hogwarts Express. Ava grips Sebastian and Ominis’ shoulders, her voice firm. “I expect to see you all home for Christmas and Easter, and I expect frequent letters. Okay?” 

Ominis and Sebastian nod. 

Ava continues. “And you treat each other well. And you two treat Vera well. And Vera, you treat them both well, understood?” 

They flush crimson, but nod. 

Riley and Ava hug them all, an all-encompassing embrace that feels like home. Vera hopes it feels like home for Sebastian and Ominis, too. After all, that’s what it’s become for them. Home.

#hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #hogwarts legacy sebastian #ominis gaunt x mc #sebastian sallow x mc #sebinis

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

A Little Farewell

With about a week left to go we had our final OT4 weverse live today and it's safe to say, we were not prepared. But I'm very grateful that they did a live all together giving us a last dose of chaos, cuteness and giggles before we'll be left to fend for ourselves for 6 months before Jin returns to us in June 2024.

The live truly was a beautiful gift that kept on giving starting with Tae's new short haircut and JK hiding his now shaved head from us, Namjoon even claiming that JKs hair is shorter than his own (JK supposedly felt inspired to shave his head a little early after he met Usher, who has pretty short hair himself, and went for it), and Jimin practically getting offended by a comment saying they wanted to see him with a buzzcut. To be honest Tae's cute little haircut looks a little like he did it himself in the dead of the night but it also makes him look like we traveled back in time to 2013 or earlier. Adorable. After so long it was really nice to see them together again, and to generally have more than one Tannie in a live together.

Since the first leaks about their military service appeared a few days ago we've seen vminies talk among themselves, and not to mention the near constant fighting that's been going on between the two xkook camps, but seeing vmin being so cute together in this live, it felt reassuring. Whatever questions or worries we might've had, they were washed away. In a way it makes sense that Tae and Jimin didn't go together, even if we all would've loved to see them go together and make use of the buddy system, but that isn't the choice they made for themselves and that's okay. It's easy to see what vmin are doing more than just fine and that's all that matters. Admin 2 really hoped we'd get a vmin handshake or hand holding, and we got two! I mean, look at all this cuteness:

And then also Tae going home in five minutes flat and doing a small solo live which was basically just him being adorable and talking to Jimin, who was immediately in the comments, before leaving again. Love when we get to third wheel them, wow, I truly will miss that a lot.

At one point in the live JK mentioned that he'd wanted to go to the special forces as well, implying that for some reason he couldn't, which makes me wonder why. Was it because of his tattoos? Either way, it's nice that he'll instead get to go with Jimin and supposedly they'll be in the training camp where Seokjin is one of the trainers so that's cute.

Speaking of Seokjin, after so long it was adorable how often Namjoon brought up Seokjin in this live. Just Jin hyung this and Jin hyung that, very cute. And they also mentioned Hobi a bunch, how he's gotten cooler and more manly, which comes as a great reminder to basically all of us that the cute boys we've known until now, well, they'll probably fade away and get replaced by more mature versions of our beloved members in the next months and they'll return to us as a different set of Tannies. And that's okay. They're grown up men so it makes sense that eventually some of that aegyo cuteness will fade away and personally I'm very curious to see how things will turn out and what they'll be like in 2025.

And I'm very curious to see if idiots will respect Namjoon's and Tae's pleas for people not to show up for their entrance ceremonies. Especially since Namjoon asked for it in three languages to make sure everyone understood it. Unfortunately I have my doubts, since we know the maknae line have some of the most unhinged solos but here's hoping.

Now, what does this mean for us now? Well, it'll be quite a while until we'll see the members slowly returning one after the other so we'd like to take this time for a 'official' hiatus as well. Admin 2 is considering a temporary "rebrand" into a BL blog since they've gotten into Thai BLs in the last year, so that's something that might happen. Would any of you be interested in something like that?

But we'll still be ARMY, still love vmin and namjin, and once the guys will return, so will we, so don't worry, we're not leaving BTS any time soon.

Lastly, here's a blurry screenshot of a coconut headed JK running across the screen screaming THIS WAS BTS. A beautifully chaotic ending to this solo era. Let's see what the next months will bring us and what 2025 will be like when chapter 2 will come to a close and a new chapter of BTS and ARMY will open, eventually.

Thank you so much for reading!

#bts #taehyung #jimin #vmin #namjoon #jungkook #namjin

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

The announcements about soldiers killed in Gaza keep coming, and funerals in some military cemeteries have to, once again, be queued.

There were a lot of financial question marks floating around before, at one point it was stated that over 50% of business in Israel suffered over 50% income loss. Today it seems that it's pretty much official, Israel is headed towards a financial crisis caused by a war that it did not start.

Rockets continue to hit cities, houses, and streets in Israel. Hamas fires from the south, but it has also reached by now Israel's east and north. To just give you an idea of what a rocket like this means, here's one that fell in the sea. The police was called to the scene, to blow it up in a controlled way. This is what that looked like, take note of how high the impact reaches:

Today, footage was released from the body cam of a policeman arriving at the scene of the peace party on Oct 7, where over 270 people were murdered. It's terrifying hearing his voice, as he reports the first body, the second, the fifth, turns a corner, find more bodies, looks to the stage and reports on the radio everyone there is dead, looks to the bar and reports the same, and you can hear the growing distress in his voice as he starts screaming, "Is there anyone here who is alive!?"

Hezbollah's leader gave a speech yesterday, in which he basically threw Hamas under the bus. He claimed he basically knew nothing of what Hamas was about to do on Oct 7, and also implied Hezbollah, while it will continue to attack on Israel's northern border, it will not do so on a scale that will force Israel to act with full force in Lebanon.

Israel has turned to the Parks and Nature Authority for help to locate the bodies of people still missing since Oct 7. Since Israel is a station for many birds migrating twice every year between Europe and Africa, there are many birds of prey that are tracked through transmitters placed around their legs. Since they feed off corpses, following their location in the areas hit by Hamas during the massacre helped retrieve bodies that were in more isolated natural locations (like the Be'eri Forest). The link is in Hebrew, but I'm adding it, because this seems to out there, that I thought verification might be needed. This is our new reality.

An American official confirmed that Hamas tried to smuggle some of its people out of Gaza together with the wounded and foreign nationals that were allowed to cross into Egypt.

This is Elhanan Klein, 35 years old. Last year he stopped a Palestinian terrorist, saving lives. He's the Israeli murdered in the independent terrorist attack yesterday.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #antisemitism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

[bluestar22x]

Falling

The Outcast - Falling

Summary: There is beauty in the heart of winter, especially when shared with someone special

Pairing: Pero Tovar x F!Reader

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 3,300 (ish)

Warnings: Longing, hard on and masturbation implied (not explicit), violence towards a rabbit (sorry buddy, they've got to eat)

Author’s Note: Not going to lie, I had a hard time getting this one out into words, but I did it. Also not going to lie, I listened to "Can you feel the love tonight" by Elton John to set the mood while writing this.

xxx

Of the many things that had eluded Pero in his time, peace was one of the most evasive. It had once been a friend when he was a child, innocent of the harsh realities outside his family's homestead, but it slowly wandered away from him as he was exposed to the world beyond, and it had finally fled him the year he'd lost his entire family.

It only worsened when he became a mercenary out of pure necessity, no longer haunted only by events he could not have prevented.

At times, even in war, the world could be serene, but not for Pero, whose thoughts darkened whenever they were left to roam with nothing else to turn to.

He had learned to hate complete silence. As much as he sometimes groaned over William's waffling, in the end it had helped ease his mind, fill it with anything but what the monster at the back of his head wished for him to focus on. Being around his friend had made life a little more tolerable.

It was different with you. You hardly spoke most days, unless you deemed it necessary. You seemed to thrive on it, the silence, and at first Pero envied you, until he stumbled into peace once more.

Sometime in the dead of winter he found it again, discovering it had not been as far out of his grasp as he'd once thought. It had just taken some coaxing, luring out by the nature of the way you lived and the nature that surrounded you.

In many ways living with you reminded him of his childhood. After over two decades he found himself once more secluded, left to focus on his basic needs and the needs of the animals he found himself caring for.

Many of his fellow mercenaries would have found it boring compared to the thrill of battle, one he'd had a love/hate relationship with, but he'd surprisingly settled well back into the lifestyle once he'd given it a chance.

In truth, this life could never be dull. Even with your quiet, even with your consistent schedule, the animals would not let it be so. On any given day a goat may escape its paddock or a horse might find itself tangled up in something (the latest had been Thor's nasty run in with some fallen branches from a hawthorn tree after he'd jumped the boundary of his pasture again).

Even when they weren't busy escaping, the animals sometimes got into trouble other ways or caused mischief.

You had one particular event you liked to remind him of most, to taut him with, on those days you were feeling playful. He'd been assisting you with the feeding of your billy goats one morning when the youngest, the almost pure white one who was appropriately named Trouble, came up behind him and gave him a good, literal nip on the butt for no apparent reason other than being a goat. Even with the padding of his pants between his skin and the goat's teeth it had still left Pero sore for days, not that he had admitted it to you. No, you had enough fuel from seeing his face when it had occurred. Had been thrown into a fit of laughter over it many times since, to his dismay.

Despite his grievances with that particular goat, he did find plenty of pleasant times amongst them, even smiling on occasion at their daily antics when you weren't looking, of course.

While he kept that side of himself hidden from you, and you kept pieces of yourself from him, you still both learned much about each other by just being in close proximity.

You'd learned enough to be able to communicate with each other without spoken word, something that became invaluable during your hunts together.

It was especially useful on the days when voices easily echoed through the forest.

On one such day, when the air was crisp and the sun bright, you walked your horses in single file through the thick forest a quarter mile from your cottage, the snow almost up to your boots before the horses plowed through. Pero was in saddle on Thor and you were bareback on Clover as you often were. With your knowledge of the area Pero always let you lead, not that he really had any power to choose. You were strong willed and used to getting your way. His presence had not done anything to change that. He wouldn't have wanted it to anyway; his respect for you was too great.

About an hour into the hunt you abruptly halted Clover and looked over your shoulder at him, head angled downward. He followed the gesture and glanced at the ground by her mare's front feet. After peering at the spot for a few seconds he noticed what she had. Rabbit footprints. A trail of them that happened to follow the same path you both were on, though the much smaller creature had been able to hop along without sinking into the snow.

He gave you a nod to assure you he'd seen the same thing and pulled the bow he was carrying off his back as well as an arrow from a quiver that he had strapped over his shoulder. It was yours, but you allowed him borrow it whenever he joined you on hunts. You had a matching one, except yours was more lightweight. Yours was spread out on your lap, your arrows on your hip inside a smaller quiver.

You encouraged Clover to very slowly push through the snow as you watched for the rabbit to appear ahead and Pero did the same with Thor. When your eyes set on a fallen log in the path, the white rabbit appeared from behind it.

Pero saw you tense up and scanned ahead, eyes locking on the rabbit in a matter of a second or two. He had time to lift his bow into position and nock an arrow before you could, only by a moment, but it was long enough for him to fire on the creature.

The arrow landed at the animal's hind feet and it bolted, startled by the near miss. Pero cursed loudly over his lousy shot, but you kept your cool, still eying the rabbit and moving with it as it put distance between you both.

It felt entirely too long to Pero, but it was just enough before you released your arrow and sent it flying right into the rabbit's chest, instantly rendering it lifeless, its body flopping over on a patch of bare stone.

You glanced back at him with a smug expression on your face, eyebrows hiked up.

He scowled at you. "Lucky shot."

"It's called skill, Pero," you boasted, a broad smile plastered on your face.

Sometimes you reminded him of William. William had been almost supernaturally good at archery, and you weren't too far behind. Neither of you were humble about it.

He wouldn't admit it, but he was thoroughly impressed by you, even though being far outdone by yet another person wounded his ego. I ought to stick to swords, he thought bitterly.

"You're just mad a woman is better at something than you are," you added as you dismounted to collect the dead animal.

You weren't entirely wrong. It did sting more, but it wasn't the only reason. Pero knew he was generally a sore loser. As far as he was concerned though, it was useful. He was certain he'd survived many a battle out of his pure unwillingness to be showed up by opposing soldiers and mercenaries.

You squatted to snatch the limp rabbit up by its hind legs and approached him, nodding to the saddlebag attached to his saddle by a couple tie down straps.

He unbuckled the flap that closed the bag and opened it up so you could stuff the rabbit's body inside it.

"You wouldn't need to use mine if you had yours," Pero said pointedly, still not understanding why she hardly used her saddle. She'd once told him it was for warmth, to share body heat with her mare, but the weather that day could hardly be called bitter.

"I never do," she told him. "I could easily swing the body over Clover's neck with a rope. But then I'd risk losing the meat while racing you back."

He had no time to react to her words before she swung back up onto Clover's back and kicked her sides, sending her into a reckless canter through the forest, along the same trail they'd just stomped out.

Thor pranced in place, yearning to run as well, and Pero muttered to himself about how pointless it was to do so before letting his reins loose anyway, giving the stallion permission to bolt down the path after you both.

He'd never done this before. Let his horse run for the sake of it, and as wayward branches smacked him in the chest and face he was quickly reminded why. Moving at such speeds could be dangerous and it was an unnecessary waste of energy for any horse about to see battle or any that were recovering from one.

Neither was the case for Thor that day, and when the trees gave way to field Pero suddenly forgot all his other concerns.

He could see you several lengths ahead, flying head long into the soft morning breeze on Clover's wide back, the horse kicking up powder as she threw herself into a gallop, albeit a slow one due to the snow not being quite trampled down enough to prevent her from sinking into it.

He couldn't see much of you besides your winter coat as he trailed behind you, but for a moment you had your head thrown back, nose pointed to the sky, and he could sense the joy, imagine the wide grin on your face. It made his lips curl up and his heart skip in a way he could not explain if someone had asked him to.

He urged Thor into a pace that would allow him to keep up, and felt the same kind of thrill you were likely experiencing bubbling up in his chest. The rush of adrenaline one gets when you take a risk, not for survival, but for the hell of it. He'd experienced it plenty enough during his youth to remember what it felt like. It was a more than welcome feeling after so long.

He'd almost caught up with you when the cottage came into view and you started to slow Clover down, though the horse was hardly breathless. Pero pulled Thor up beside you, face neutral, once more hiding the side of him he'd deemed soft from you.

"Rabbit stew?" you inquired, a smile still adorning your face. "My grandmother created a recipe in her twenties that's to die for."

He grunted. "If you intend to fatten me up so I cannot leave come spring, your family's secrets are indeed the best route to success."

You chortled at his comment, and he almost laughed too. Almost.

"Amma's famous rabbit stew it is."

x

Pero ate so much rabbit stew for both his meals that day that he fell asleep by the fire after the last, waking only after the night was in full force. There was a blanket draped over him that hadn't been there before and he smiled slightly at the thought of you taking the time to shield his body from the chill that often found its way into your home after dark. You were always looking after him like that, even though you didn't need to, even though he was very capable of taking care of himself.

He liked that about you most, your selflessness. The kind that led you to care for a stranger, though you were hardly strangers by then, were you? At least not anymore.

Pero stood with a groan, his stiff, aching back and knees ever reminding him of his last two decades spent in battle and on horseback.

He glanced around the cottage for you, but you weren't there, and he wondered if it was early enough that you were still out feeding the animals. He donned his coat and made his way outside, surprised by the calm, stillness of the night. Usually night meant bitter wind.

The weather was not all he was surprised by.

Instead of being behind or in the barn, you were out in the field in front of the cottage, your upper body lying flat on Clover's bare back, though your butt and legs were still properly positioned for riding. Pero trudged your way, wondering what in God's name you were doing on your horse so late at night, until he got close enough to see that you were gazing up at the clear sky above you, studying the thousands of shining white specks, stars, that were spread across its midnight blue.

The peace in your expression almost made him turn back, not wanting to spoil your alone time, but something had him rooted to the ground he was standing upon a few yards from you, watching, taking in the view. Not of the sky, but of you. Your silhouette blended with Clover's in the dark, as if you'd morphed into a very flexible centaur, and he realized then that you did not ride bareback just for shared warmth, but also because of the oneness you felt with her when the saddle wasn't present. Clover was always more responsive to you when you left the saddle in the barn. She could read you better, as you could her.

His conclusion had Pero scrambling to recall the last time he'd felt at one with anything or anyone, but his mind blanked out. Though he'd been close to other people emotionally, had experienced physical intimacy of every kind, spiritual closeness had evaded him as well as he'd avoided devotion to any religion.

He had never yearned for that kind of connection until that night, as he observed yours with Clover and to the world around you. He could have watched you all night, lived vicariously through you.

You felt him near you before he could.

"Beautiful night," you declared, only just loud enough for him to hear. You did not turn your head to look at him, you just kept on talking, your eyes still focused on the heavens above. "It's not often it's clear enough to stargaze in the winter. I could not resist."

He cleared his throat. "No need to resist because of my presence. I will leave you to it and return to the cottage, if I am to presume the animals are already fed?"

You nodded confirmation that they were and sat upright, using nothing but your core strength to do it, and he had to adjust himself in his pants before you looked his way, aroused by your motion. If anyone asked, he could not deny his attraction to you, but he knew he could not act on it. You had shown no sign of feeling the same towards him, and he was your guest, so he dealt with his discomfort however he could when you weren't near enough to overhear him.

"I'd rather you join me for a ride," you said as your eyes fell upon him.

He arched his brows. "At this time of night?"

"I want to see if the dancing lights are out," you explained.

"Dancing lights?" Pero was lost. He had no idea what you were talking about.

"It's worth the trip to the top of the mountain," you promised. "Trust me."

Who was he to resist your plea?

He agreed to the ride and headed for the pasture, leading Thor out by his mane.

You frowned as you rode Clover over to the fence line. "Aren't you going to get your saddle?"

Pero stood at Thor's shoulder and readied himself to climb on, using a large rock to give him a little extra height. As tall as he was, he hadn't tried this in a long time and mounting from the ground with stirrups was already difficult enough for him.

“Not tonight,” he replied shortly, swinging up on his steed. It wasn't easy, even with the assist from the stone. He almost slipped back off by Thor's shoulder, but managed to cling on and straighten himself out, though his grunts of effort probably could have been heard for a mile. At least you seemed amused by his lack of grace, choking on the laugh bubbling up in your chest. As embarrassed as he was, Pero liked the sound of your laughter.

You forced a cough, trying to compose yourself, then silently guided him away from the farm, starting up the steepest side of the mountain, without any supplies.

He followed you hesitantly, praying a sudden storm would not form.

x

You rode towards the top of the mountain with a relaxed confidence, only occasionally twisting around to make sure Pero was still close behind.

He hung back a few yards, attempting to appear at ease, but you could tell your impromptu trip had spiked some anxiety within him. You wondered how much was because of who he was and how much was from his near death experience.

You felt an unexplainable twinge as you thought back to the fateful day that you'd found him. If you had never known him, if you'd been too late or hadn't stumbled upon him, you wouldn't know who you were missing, but you did know him, and there was pain in knowing how close you'd been to not sharing your life with him.

It was dangerous to your heart, thinking in such a manner, but even if all you could ever be were friends, even if he left in the spring and you never saw him again, you knew you wouldn't trade this winter with him for anything. Wouldn't trade the moment that came next as you crested your mountain and the rest of the chain it belonged to materialized into view, all eight of its companions snow capped and massive in their own right, most even taller than the one you'd claimed as yours.

But it wasn't the mountain range's beauty that you focused on that night - it was the glowing, dancing, green wavy lights in the sky that kissed a few of the other peaks.

You'd witnessed them a few times each winter since you'd moved into the cottage, but the lights never failed to cause you to catch your breath, to marvel at the beauty of it. You did not know why they only sometimes formed at night during the winter, why they formed at all, but you didn't need to know to enjoy the view.

"Do you have these lights in the south?" you asked Pero as Thor came to a stop alongside Clover.

"We do not," he answered, studying the sky before him, eyes narrowed, as if he were trying to figure out the source of the mysterious lights. "But I have heard of these lights before, from other mercenaries."

"Aren't they magical?" you questioned dreamily, staring ahead.

You heard him huff. "Magic does not exist. Just because we do not understand it doesn't make it supernatural."

"That's not the kind of magic I'm talking about," you told him, glancing in his direction. "I meant the kind of magic that we know has an explanation, even if we have not figured it out yet, but is still wondrous to us anyway. Like how a babe grows in their mother's womb, or how sometimes the ground shakes for no apparent reason. Episteme will not change the feeling I have every time I am blessed with witnessing these lights."

Pero nodded in understanding. "They are indeed, wondrous."

You glanced over to him again, finding his eyes on you instead of the lights, and your heart pounded in your chest as he smiled at you briefly. A real smile that filled your belly with warmth.

You wondered then if he felt the same for you as you did him, or if you were reading into things too much. If you were simply just a friend to him, a sister, maybe, or something more. You were too afraid to ask. Too convinced it didn't matter.

After all, come spring he would part from you, and you'd be alone once more.

You couldn't see the benefit in exposing yourself to that kind of heartbreak.

You wouldn't admit to yourself you'd already fallen.

xxx

Tagged: @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

#Pero Fanfic (Mine) #The Great Wall Fanfic #X Reader #The Outcast Series

[gamerstar111]

Makoto & Nagito’s Survivor’s Guilt

i have many thoughts ab why makoto and nagito would have an interesting dynamic but today i’m thinking abt how their history parallels a little (like a lot of things ab them. they’re foils of each other i cld write an essay about it)

this is just a very long (kind of disorganized) tangent about lucky duo’s traumas and how they shaped their mindsets (and how they might understand each other better than people think at first)

i kind of get nervous anytime i put my analyses out there for people to percieve, but that’s okay. we’re facing fears today. LOL

——————————————————————————

i don’t think many people think about how makoto probably understands the survivor’s guilt nagito deals with better than anyone could, because he also has the mentality that he didn’t deserve to survive the things he did, and that his luck had a lot to do with his survival. they cope in very different ways, but at the core of their emotions they both feel that same “i don’t deserve to live” guilt.

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Makoto’s Survivor’s Guilt

makoto doesn’t attribute as much of his trauma (which is the killing games he went through) to his luck, it doesn’t factor into his thinking as much as it does for nagito. junko says it at some point in the anime: makoto’s luck isn’t like nagito’s! he wouldn’t ever be able to utilize it like nagito can, because it isn’t consistent, it comes and goes super randomly. it keeps that mf alive and that’s IT 😭

(/j. it does more for him than that but im not talking ab his luck rn so BACK TO HIS SURVIVOR’S GUILT.)

he leaves the first killing game with this huge unofficial responsibility. he lost 10 of his classmates and it’s said that he was able to get his memories back after leaving, so that means he remembers the two years he spent with them. they were his friends :,)

and some of them did more than him to contribute to surviving. i know it’s for comedic effect in the game, but makoto is kind of consistently told by byakuya (and sometimes kyoko & others) that he’s stupid or unhelpful. + he already struggles with feeling like he’s not interesting, memorable, or unique in any kind of way (mr. “i’m average at being average”)

but nevertheless, he survives the games, (after basically convincing his remaining classmates to NOT sacrifice him. a second time.) and when he does get out, he joins the future foundation, where his nickname as the ultimate hope starts to push him to do as much as he can. and because he’s so determined to save as many people as he can, he opposes the foundation’s plan to kill the remnants, and takes them to jabberwock island. he’s so determined to do as much as he can because he feels like if he doesn’t, he’s wasting the life he was given. it’s implied a few times that he would have killed himself if he didn’t feel guilty throwing away the life that was taken from his friends! people don’t talk enough about how makoto is NOT as endlessly optimistic as everyone thinks

he isn’t completely immune to despair. i honestly feel like his main motivation in helping people and spreading hope isn’t that he lives by it, it’s that he has to do as much as he can to to spread it to OTHERS because if he doesn’t, what is he doing with the life he has that his friends were robbed of? i could get into the nuances of makoto’s character and how he isn’t just “hope enthusiast #1” but that’s more fitting of a makoto exclusive character analysis. coming soon/hj

the point of that is that he wouldn’t be alive if he didn’t feel like he had to make something of the fact that his classmates died and he didn’t. that’s what motivates him to try and save everyone, no matter who they are or how terrible they are (him saving the remnants, trying to save junko even though he hated her for what she did, and trying to save the future foundation members in the second game, even though they want him dead)

and when he already has this mentality, he goes through a SECOND killing game, where one of his closest friends (i forget if it’s canon they were dating or not, but you get the point) dies as a DIRECT result of him surviving. and instead of breaking down and giving up, he takes it and becomes more determined to end the game. but his despair video shows that he feels so guilty that he survived, even if he doesn’t ruminate in that feeling.

but nagito is the polar opposite

——————————————————————————

Nagito’s Survivor’s Guilt

most of nagito’s character revolves around two things:

His self-loathing

His twisted perception of hope, and his obsession with the concept

putting aside the fact that he has been diagnosed with dementia that definitely warps his perception of reality as it is, when you look into his backstory it makes sense why he thinks the way he does. his childhood pet died in a car crash when he was a little kid, then, when he goes on vacation with his parents (still in elementary school), the plane taking them back is hijacked, and then those hijackers are killed by a meteorite that also kills his parents right in front of him.

he has no other living relatives, so he’s given all of their inheritance, and is said to be free to live on his own. so he’s been alone since he was a kid, and then during middle school, he’s kidnapped by a SERIAL KILLER that held him for ransom, and then let him go after realizing no one was going to come for him. (which is actually so distressing to me like r u kidding me that’s so SAD HE HAD NO ONE WILLING TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HE WAS MISSING?? UGH. ANYWAY.)

any chance at happiness Nagito has had was ripped from him in that cycle of good and bad luck. he starts to become fixated (and eventually, unhealthily obsessed) with the concept of hope, so that he could try and find some meaning to his life beyond killing anyone who'd ever shown him any kindness or cared about him. and then after ALL OF THIS, in high school before hope's peak, he gets diagnosed not only with CANCER, but also DEMENTIA. Which, typically, only affects people over 65!!!! he was probably not older than 16 when he got diagnosed!!!! he's then told that he probably has less than 6 months to live. he tells hajime this whole speech about how he realized all he wanted his entire life was to be loved by someone, and he didn't want to die alone, but then says that he was just quoting something, curious to the sympathy it would get him (i don't really believe that, but THAT is a nagito analysis topic. back on topic again…)

then he gets invited to hope's peak. he tries to refuse, but they insist, and so he finally agrees. but then, during his second year, junko starts to ruin things, and yet ANOTHER person he started to care about is killed right before his eyes (chiaki). of course, then, he goes on to bring as much pain and despair to anyone he can under junko’s brainwashing

he's fully convinced that he's a curse, and that he's not worthy of living.

——————————————————————————

"ok….. what’s your point??" you didn’t ask???

the difference between nagito and makoto is that makoto took his grief and made it into motivation, while nagito took his grief as a personal reflection, and spiraled down into a mental decline.

i think the main reasons for this difference is that, first of all, nagito's trauma has been his entire life. since he was a little kid up to even currently (when he's around 21-22), all he's done is cause or witness death anywhere he's gone. watching your childhood pet AND parents die before your eyes has to impact development in some kind of way (not to mention he was entirely alone since ELEMENTARY SCHOOL)

makoto had a very average, but nice life to that point. he had nice parents that were together and happy, his little sister that he's super close to, and while he didn't have any super close friends, he wasn't on particularly bad terms with anyone (as shown by his reaction to seeing sayaka, and sayaka's reaction to knowina him). all of the trauma and death he experienced happened to him when he was an adult (even though he thought he was 16-17 when the first killing game happened, he was most likely 18-19 and junko can erase memory but not alter brain development. so.)

second of all, makoto had support from his friends! he had the other 5 survivors, and then during the second game, he had kyoko and aoi to support him and get him through it. nagito grew up experiencing all of this grief and guilt and trauma entirely alone, even during the killing game he was in. his classmates treat him awfully even before he has his mental break doing incredibly unhinged shit like blowing up the gym (it's so. hard. to defend him sometimes.)

i still haven’t gotten to my point oh my god i talk a lot. BUT THE POINT IS they cope extremely differently, and arguably have different levels of trauma, but they experience the same survivors guilt. both of them feel like they don't deserve to be alive, and that others around them deserve so much better than they do. i really feel like makoto would be able to empathize with nagito's struggles with survivor's guilt and self worth, because he feels the same things! clearly, not to the same extent, but again, that goes back to the support makoto got during his experiences. it's one of the many MANY reasons i think makoto and nagito would be able to help each other heal, instead of being unhealthy like a lot of people say. (of course it depends on when because obviously, servant nagito meeting ff!makoto would not be healthy. that man would skeeve makoto out MASSIVELY but that dynamic is also an interesting one to explore.... ANYWAY.)

nagito's obsession with hope would give him an unhealthy attachment/idolization of makoto at first, but i really do believe that after he recovers a little more from junko's influence, a few days with the guy would make nagito realize that they're way more similar than he thought and that respectfully, makoto isn't as amazing and godly as he thought LOL

——————————————————————————

TLDR: they have very similar experiences, the only difference between them is that makoto had support that reminded him he wasn't to blame for the deaths of those around him, while nagito was isolated from EVERYONE from a very, VERY young age, and it led to his mental decline. i really believe they would be able to help each other heal a lot and that's why i love them so much :(

side note: genuinely nothing makes me as sad as nagito and his dog 😞 every time i mention them i get so upset

#nagito komaeda #makoto naegi #komaegi #sdr2 #dr thh #lucky duo #lucky duo tangents #posting dr opinions is so scary #please be nice #cxsmictangents

[nishnormp]

cheavy ramblings

Been thinking about the stinky BLU classic heavy from the comics lately. He's basically the villain of the final issues, and was practically built to be unlikeable from the start so his defeat could be more satisfying; buut since its been years since an update came out and I am slowly going insane, I think it would be funky to explore him more (bonus cmedic feature)

Few disclaimers: I'm not excusing his actions (I myself think hes a bitch) and I do NOT ship him with tf2 medic (also I dont think tf2 medic is unmasked cmedic bc 1)why would he sabotage himself in the issues by acting like That 2)uhh reasons later 3)this panel) also some of my takes aren't original, but I've expanded on em a bit

P1: Medic hater activities

As we all know, cheavy's greatest sin was dunking on + killing tf2 medic

Somehow he and tfc demo got sidetracked by medic's question, but the most hostile he gets towards tf2 medic here is jeering at the fact that they're going to hunt down his old team; which tf2 medic doesn't seem bothered by.

( @number1yisuchongfan actually brought this up before me) This panel pretty much sums up why cheavy is pissed: medic was implied to have a record of being weird with parts (he lost his license bc he stole a man's skeleton), he blew ALL of his budget meant for healing on exotic parts (that he put in cheavy's teammates), AND he revived the enemy (said enemy slips away a few panels later just as cheavy gets informed that three of his mercs died).

(also, the weird p3do tfc scout and soldier arent included in the 'three good men', since they died much later) Speaking of the 'good men' comment-

P2: Good leader at some point?? Not anymore tho

Hes gruff and an ass, but cheavy has a soft spot for his team; the tf2 mercs call each other strictly by their classes, but the tfc ones know each other names (also see cheavy's way of describing his dead teammates and his immediate reaction to go over there rather than curse/assume their incompetence)

He gets curious about australium, and from here on out he gets fixated on it- enough to be more unreasonable than usual. Cheavy is pretty amicable with Bea, and the way he acts with her is probably more in-character for what he was like back in his prime rather than the hot-tempered man that the later panels show.

I mean . He and his team were highly recommended and even took out ALL of the admin's elite teams, leaving the tf2 team for last. He may be a drill sergeant, but I don't think he was a genuine tyrant for most of his career; they aren't purely business-basis with each other (some of them formed close bonds, like fred and virgil), plus- any elite team would be able to capitalize on an overly prideful and control freaky leader (+a constantly demoralized team) sooner.

With three of his mercs dead and his plans failing against a team that he saw as rejects, the mental strain is showing badly. Tfc mercs don't have much personality in their games (or their own comic about them during their prime) but one of the few dynamics mentioned is between the Heavy and the Engineer+Medic. Tfc engie is the one who stepped up to ask about cheavy's plans, and he also gets the brunt of his anger. Earlier, cheavy answered bea's question and encouraged her, but now he's yelling and mocking the capabilities of one of the men he coordinates with the most.

Tfc scout's line may just be him not understanding/underestimating australium (esp since apparently cheavy had to ask grey mann what it even did), but it also reads as him seeing cheavy having officially gone off his rocker; his shaky grasp over leadership might kill the team before being deprived of yellow rocks does. Both scout and engie are thrown off by his attitude, implying that cheavy isn't usually like this (I can't imagine them being coordinated if they all shrimp away like that).

His line of thinking for both of these situations are pretty questionable. For the first one, he knows that the bots extract australium from the body, but he also knows that the mercs likely have nothing in them anyways (note the emphasis on his dead mercs, this is him taking revenge but also he is NAWT going to get any australium for those extra immortality machines which is still a pressing issue for his engie). In the second one, he first tells medic that they'll try figuring out how to stitch the machine on him, which leads to medic stabbing him and cheavy retaliating. Cheavy then goes all the way with attempting to kill him, stating that he'll just gets his answers from the administrator. Its soon revealed that he wants to fight tf2 heavy, but even that is ??? Like cheavy knows that he and his team are old as hell, but he's going to try having a fair fight with a guy in his prime anyways? He didn't even know that he could just slap on the machine at the time, and the unnecessary risk for what seems to be a quest to satisfy his ego is antithetical to his supposed goal of getting the rocks and making his team immortal. At this point, his hatred of medic has completely overridden his rationality; there were many ways for him to have killed both of them, yet he didn't take em.

P3: Cmedic

I saw some posts abt how cheavy is likely coded as homophobic due to how he treats medic (a presumably gay-coded character) bc of the "stay in the kitchen"-esque dialogue, and the way cheavy undermines him in verbal + physical ways. I do not have a very solid defense for this . aside from everything I listed before.

Just to clarify, I think its cheavy's fault for alienating medic from the start: loss of medical license aside, medic's inventions DO work splendidly for healing. Would it have been more concerning since medic is . meant to heal? Maybe. But mercs are literal murderers for hire, personality quirks should be the last of their priorities. The guy is passionate about showing off his stuff, and he was even enthusiastic about getting on the battlefield and healing cheavy. I'm not saying medic was going to be 100% loyal, but he's willing to do his job for the classics as long as he wasn't disrespected so damn much.

The tfc mercs with personalities are ones that oppose their tf2 counterpart; tfc sniper is a sadist rather than a swift professional, tfc pyro is...also a sadist rather than having tf2 pyro's misguided bubbliness, and cheavy does not respect his team's (current) medic. This in conjunction with the complete and utter lack of not just presence but also mention of tfc medic leads to the popular belief that the guy just up and left because of the disrespect.

(Writing inconsistencies be damned I like to cope) so what if it wasn't the case?

These are one of the few lines in tfc that describe a cooperative nature between certain classes. Like I mentioned earlier, tfc has less media compared to tf2 so its easy to slot personalities onto them as villains (tfc sniper's gun blowing people into giblets kinda helps), but I don't think these can be ignored. Fred was the one who represented the rest of the team's opinions to cheavy, and the phrasing in the second pic is even stronger; the heavymedic duo was always a thing, even in tfc.

Sort of. Gameplay-wise, cmedic is more like a roided out scout armed with a medkit that can give enemies and disguised spies tuberculosis, grenades that can send him across the map, and a gun that can destroy sentries (situational). He doesn't need to cling to his more offensive teammates as much as tf2 medic, and while his kit can instantly heal a teammate to full no matter the percentage + give overheal- its strictly melee ranged and has no ubercharge. In a narrative sense, cmedic would most likely oppose tf2 medic as a more 'grounded' healer. He prevents damage to his team by erasing enemies himself, doesn't go too overboard with his biochemical arsenal (his brew is potent but hes stuck with the melee-ranged kit and no crazy mechanic like uber), and can typically run off by himself (provided he isn't jumped by two soldiers or smth). Its a matter of game design, but can translate to the comics in an interesting way.

Medic is the only one who speaks of cmedic, and while the mention itself has no violent reaction- no one else speaks of him. I can't imagine him being easily forgotten since the heavymedic duo is just too iconic, so what if smth exceptionally horrible just happened to him? If cmedic was close to cheavy than everyone else, his loss/disappearance could explain cheavy's immediate dislike for tf2 med; not only replacing his own med, but with the complete opposite in terms of personality as well.

(I could expand on cmedic more, but this post is already long enough as is so I'll probably just make a separate one gah)

#tf2 #tf2 medic #tfc #tfc heavy #classic heavy #tfc medic #classic medic #once again dont take this as a defense post i just want to dissect cheavy like a bug

[serval1863]

(clutches head and writhes around on the floor) charlotte wh is so fucking. guh. like. (chronic yapping alert + full spoilers under the cut)

you're brought up and raised under a false assumption that you're a genius, the kind who appears only once in 100 years. you're, essentially , coerced into a shady surgery leaving you in (implied) constant pain and permanently stuck with a body that's inaccurate to your mind. and you do it out of devotion because you were a child who'd been thrown away once and by fucking god you need someone, something to latch onto. so of course you'll do anything for the source of that feeling of having your life mean something. having your efforts acknowledged, and being needed. but of course, it's a lie. always was. it falls apart in front of you. should you not be useful, you'll be thrown away. and of course, that breaks you. because well, you kind of always knew that. and you're left to die, in extreme pain, alone. and then you're dead, you've lost everything, and you're forced to simmer on it in a quiet, silent hell where your sole company is unfeeling demons. and you stay in the loop, eternally, re-experiencing your death over, and over, and over.

and like, the quiet, passive hatred charlotte is written with when in the context of all of it is sooo... augh, especially with her parallel to the loud, aggressive lime. charlotte's hatred for humans is distant and nihilistic- people use each other as tools, they deceive each other, attachment is pointless because it's going to be fake anyway. everyone takes the shortest route to benefiting, regardless of who has to be used. her lines about how "kindness and forgiveness allows for evil". her repeated insistence on just killing the other three to noel. you cant trust others. you should just hate everyone, its easier. its why she, at the end, doesn't understand "love" either. because to her, it's always been deception, and something others will take advantage of, so whats the point?

and it's why she bets on ashe - he affirms everything for her. both are people who's extreme devotion to their family caused them to do anything for them, by any means necessary - to harm, to use, anything. i think, to an extent, she can see herself in him. and i think she sees herself in noel too - her hint of sympathy in the hourglass scene, urging him to just give up because it'll end poorly, like it did for her (even if in a different way).

and like, throughout the game, charlotte has this sort of snide detachment from basically everyone. constantly talks about how other people annoy her and how she wants to see as much suffering as possible. but whats always been apparent to me about her is this back and forth she has of very, very slight affection for others before immediately burying it and deciding she "doesnt care". we see it with fiona in the 4th side story in the base game, we see it with noel in the hourglass scene, we see it with claire in the bonus stage, we see it with lime constantly, especially with how she broke down after losing her (if im remembering right anyway, still gotta finish my replay of the sirius conclusion). like, she always immediately covers it up - when in presence of the other demons she claims its part of her scheme, and when not she simply acts like she doesnt actually care. but it's so constant with her that to me it has to be on purpose, and im really, really curious where it goes in future conclusions

anyway i might be wrong about everything and reading her totally wrong, but shes a character i love a lot and ive been thinking about for too long for my own good. i'll come back to this when i finish my replay of sirius's conclusion and can suffer for hours over That One Scene, lol

#witch's heart #this is just how i've always thought about it and read her character but #shes honestly so complex and interesting i feel like there's so many dif ways to read her #txt

[rosaniruby]

So I watched that video on youtube "It's all about Ruby" where they explain why ruby is probably the cause of all the supernatural stuff and i dont know why i didnt think of that earlier.

I didn't see anyone talk about it here so i just wanted to point out the times when ruby imply that she is the one being guided every time she gains some kind of succes in her career.

and almost always whenever crows appear ruby is there almost like they're connected to her. And they actually guide her.

so the theory that since this town worships amenouzume (the goddes of art, deity off fulfilled wishes.) its probably the fact that sarina prayed to become an idol and died before it could be fulfilled that she was listened and eventually reborn (mind you, she wasn’t reborn for 4 years and just waited till ai will give birth, in contrast to aqua who convieniently died the same night. Why would they give ai's child the soul of a girl already dead for 4 years if she wouldn't be connected.) as ai's child with aqua there with her as 'the only other person she loved'.

That's what the theory says and im inclined to agree. after all, the crow girl says herself that ruby is fulfilling her role amazingly meanwhile aqua still has to think about it.

(But what is ruby doing different than aqua? They both try to get to their father. Unless, ruby being popular is an important factor.)

Let me just point out as well that shes basically saying ai's death or rather the hope of her reincarnation is the factor that would stop them from achievening their goal or purpose, so we can say ai's death was a very important factor in whatever happened and, maybe, just as goro's death to ruby, was supposed to drive them to change their behavior. It's already something we could assume but the question is what role did crow girl played in ai's death and why she choose not to reincarnate her. Bc It's like she's saying aqua can't hope for ai to live a happy life since it distracts him from his destiny, because then he would rest, and he still doesn't do what he's supposed to.

Personally, I think there is a big missing piece of puzzle we still dont know, either in ruby's past with the gods or ai's secret we haven't came to know, that is the cause of it all. But surely all those things contributed majorly as well, after all ruby is more important to the plot than some people might think bc of her absence.

Oh and someone also noticed the mention of amaterasu (connected to amenouzume)

'her children also carry great destinies'

Again, this isn't my theory and I recommend you to watch that video on youtube if you want to know more details!!

#oshi no ko #ruby hoshino #onk ruby #oshi no ko spoilers #oshi no ko manga #ruby #aquamarine hoshino #aqua hoshino

[bestworstcase]

Does Ozma even have a semblance???

I mean, we know he has old magic and uses aura, but I don't think it's ever stated that he has one. I wonder if he doesn't because of how he thinks that mankind is lesser as it is now, or that his soul is too...murky??? on account of all the souls he's been forced to assimilate, or both.

(Would Salem have a semblance???)

Also, thanks for answering my asks, I like your takes, and I really appreciate it.

the framing in the world of remnant episode, with ozpin being the image of “just a man,” to me suggests that he does not have his own semblance. i tend to think this is less a matter of incapability (he obviously can and does wield aura and the idea that his and oscar’s aura are combined implies that ozma does have his own separate from his hosts) and more an issue of knowledge: semblances are individual, powers that either arise from or define your character. jaune’s effort to unlock his in v5 apparently involves meditation. oscar’s disappointment with not having discovered his semblance goes hand in hand with his existential dread and fear of using ozma’s magic. 

to manifest a semblance, i think you need to experience a moment of, like—clarity and unity of purpose. a moment where you know who you are and every part of you sort of coheres around a single locus. this is true of even semblances like qrow’s, which i imagine sparked from a moment where he felt like a curse and a burden all the way down to his soul. 

i don’t think ozma has ever experienced that, not since his first life. (and i don’t think semblances became possible until after humanity’s resurrection.) between what light’s curse does to him—changing him into someone else against his will—and his self-identification as an amalgam of countless people and the profound cognitive dissonance he’s buried himself under, he’s too lost and trapped to manifest a semblance. i do think his hosts might develop semblances through the merge that are functionally his for the rest of that life but those abilities fade as he reincarnates and the cycle begins again. 

as for salem,

if she still has aura after the pool of grimm and being grimm doesn’t just prevent her from using aura across the board (grimm flesh can’t be protected by aura, but grimm can siphon aura and use dust so i think it’s within the realm of possibility that she’s not been locked out from her own soul’s magic)… well. she’s older than dirt and if nothing else she’s been driven by unwavering conviction that the brothers are monstrous tyrants who must be overthrown for millions of years. assuming she is physically capable of manifesting a semblance, i would be sort of surprised if she didn’t have one?

there’s also just. the fact that salem’s magic does weird stuff no one else can do. like, magic is pretty basic? the maidens have raw elemental powers, the branwens can turn into birds, and ozma’s magic seems mainly like a juiced up version of defensive aura. and then there’s salem like… elemental powers yeah, but also flying around as a cloud of particles, and summoning grimm with grimm sigils, and spawning grimm out of the pools, and astral projecting through a dead seer, and the hound, and cinder’s arm, and she cracks open the continental plate under solitas overnight without apparent effort which might be elemental powers but holy shit. does the grimm stuff come solely from being grimm, or… might there be a semblance in the mix here?

and. like. if she does have a semblance, odds are she’s had it for thousands of years. look at how powerful masters like glynda can become within a mortal lifespan. look at ren’s semblance, and what the schnee semblance became through years of accumulated generational knowledge and experimentation. look at how landing in the ever after supercharged neo’s semblance. it’s not implausible that all of salem’s power might be derived from a semblance + raw powers of the two divine pools; semblances contain infinite potential and she has unlimited time. 

(generally speaking if you add semblance + magic i think the magic will augment the semblance rather than the other way around; certainly what makes cinder so absurdly powerful as a maiden is she’s just using the magic to overclock her semblance, which is also what she did with dust prior to getting the maiden.)

#i have. detailed headcanons abt tdt!salem’s semblance but thats for another post maybe hrhfhdhsk

[haridraws]

happened to notice a (very positive, 5*, thank you) ARC review of my new book that raised this point

I assume by 'imagery' he means 'great drawings of sometimes genuinely horrible monsters'

Though I didn't write either for kids specifically, people do sometimes tell me about reading Into the DUNGEON aloud to 5 year olds.

SO JUST TO BE CLEAR:

✧˖°. it's guidance 14+ ✧˖°.

✧˖°. please nobody traumatise young kids with drawings of horrors ✧˖°.

For general warnings, there's more (slightly spoilery) info under the cut. Please just send an ask if you have Qs about anything specific!

As a choose-your-own, a LOT is up to the choices you make (so eg. you can avoid claustrophobia by choosing not to go down a small dark tunnel). But Into the Tower does have horrory routes with genuinely horrible monsters (personally I LOVE these plotlines and what the guest artists did with them) as well as a short-book-style amount of text, hence the 14+ suggestion.

Here's stuff you might want to consider if you prefer to avoid certain plots, or you're gifting it and unsure about the age suitability:

-

Romance - On the libertine route: You're having a big romance with a (somewhat manipulative) spy, but there's nothing spicy/ explicit. You're implied to be queer and one of the options, you can choose to basically go back to being closeted, and it is sad. On another option it's mentioned you slept with someone's husband.

You can bypass all romance by picking one of the other characters. Blood/death/illness -

the sailor route has a fair amount about their father being missing/presumed dead, as well as one path with a family member who's gone through something big (analagous to trauma or addiction) being very changed and initially unresponsive

in a very specific situation where you have a monster in you, you can meet your clone and also eat them

if you kill a guy you watch them die viscerally and are existentially haunted by it. You can avoid this by not choosing to kill a guy

body horror for some monsters

IF YOU WANT TO AVOID MORE HORROR-HEAVY PLOTLINES:

Backtrack or ignore the 'bearer of gifts' status

avoid the caves

#it literally says 14+ very clearly on the back #but i know people buying online don't always notice so this is a PSA! #tbh even people who email me like 'i read into the dungeon with my 3 year old' are nice but make me feel like. really sir??? #into the tower #solo rpg #gamebook