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lumibye · 4 months

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hii charm i wanted to ask , what was sycamaris first date ? 🤔 how did it come abt , who asked, how did it go ? im soo interested , and i hope uve had a wonderful weekend ! - @catake

hehe hi clara ! hope your weekend's been lovely as alwayss and i hope your finals went just as well !! i'm sure they did but sending my heart and wishes anyways ofc ofc

( ♡ ) ty honestly sm for encouraging me to talk abt them bc it's all in my drafts but i'm just . . soso shy ( if you could believe it ehe ; ) so it really means a lot to me ! i'm v grateful i get to speak my silly nonsense eek >_< their first date was . . it was a ' date ' but it wasn't ? this is prob a good time to explain why they're ' working together ' ig for context purposes ! ( i'll prob compile this all into a post at some point actually )

( long post again bc my filter is broken ehe ; )

although he has a lot of information on mega evolution in regards to battle , he doesn’t have a lot in the way of contests

pokemon aren’t affected by any external factors like attacks or status conditions when performing , but they’re still expending a good amount of energy with the use of moves

so , as someone that’s very invested in the subject , his research and the bond between pokemon and trainer - this information would be valuable to compare and contrast with his current findings

he doesn’t really know anybody in the contest scene? there’s serena, of course, but she’s also currently undertaking the gym challenge and being one of his pupils it doesn’t feel right to stick this kid with even more work considering she’s a dex holder so mariannes his best bet , even though they're only acquainted at the time they share a mutual acquaintance in serena at least . it's mutually beneficial in a sense , if marianne can't use mega then she's going to be at a disadvantage in the contest circuit ( i hc that contests are similar to ORAS in kalos hehe ) her ' job ' would be to monitor the behavioural changes in her pokemon after rehearsals and performances as well as their general health and wellbeing . there'd be weekly or biweekly ' check ups ' at the lab for more thorough analysis but these ' reports ' are more casual to fit both their schedules also , it's a good excuse to go out for him to go out for coffee considering he's so busy . but they're not dates , don't be silly . . . ( /hj he doesn't intend it to be . . but . . ) anway ! to actually answer your question now ( i'm soso sorry i can talk for aages they live in my head rent free 24/7 ; ) once he proposes this to her at the lab ( it's like on a weekend so nobody's there ) and gives her a list of pokemon that can mega she notices the only one that can is benched because of her accident in the unova circuit reasons and she goes ' umm , i don't really have any on this list at the moment ' and augustine is kind of stumped because this meeting is now way shorter than he expected it to be so he goes ' oh , that's ok . . well let's go out for coffee instead ' ( not those exact words ofc ) because

a.) she's not super familiar with lumiose and having a kind of ' guide ' might be helpful

b.) atp he knows she's a bit of a reserved person and the few times they've met he hasn't seen her with any friends so that's mildly concerning

c.) if they're eventually going to work together he should know her a bit better and

d.) she's piqued his curiosity honestly marianne's very bad at saying no especially on the spot so as nervous as this makes her she agrees , for similar reasons too . this person's offering her an advantage in her career so it'd be rude to say no , wouldn't it ? so they go to soleil ( because taking a shy girl to your best friends cafe on your first outing seems like a really bad idea ) and he offers to pay and she protests and there's that cliche back and forth about who's going to pay that makes the barista a bit ticked off ( people pleasers , the both of them ) and it takes her a bit to open up but he's genuinely enthused when it comes to learning about people . so eventually she does crack a little bit , especially when the topic of coffee comes up . she used to be a barista in castelia and coffee is his passion so that's their jumping off point . after that they both surprise each other with just how similar they are ! they talk about their thoughts on self expression ( he asks about her career ) and just how important it is and their energy just gels . they end up almost gushing to each other about their thoughts and beliefs , which is something she hasn't done in ages since she's been alone for quite a while so it makes her so so happy . he didn't expect this to come out of someone like her and she didn't expect someone primarily invested in research to share her beliefs and ideas . afterwards she feels bad that she's talked primarily about herself but still . . . it feels good and honestly ? that's kind of exactly what he was hoping for and he's pretty happy himself . they both are ig , more than they'd thought they would ! she definitely goes home and screams into a pillow about how embarrasing she was tho ehhehehe

#: charm's chatting ✦#୨-sycamari-୧ #⊱ lore tag ⊰#⊱ mailbox ⊰#ty clara u r such an angel - hugging u ♡

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thekidsarentalright · 7 months

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So look, I was listening to Spotlight and turns out the line is 'the salad days are over and the meat is at my door' which like ok good but also. Also. I, a hundred percent thought he was saying 'the Saturdays are over and the beat is at my door' and let me just say I was spinning the most most about it and Saturday and just like the everything of it all, going way up man. But um no its just a fun line without insane connotations behind it. Which like as seen above, I couldn't cope with the what if implied by it all my brain breaks a bit. So, yes, bop some words for you pal. Now I'm just gonna lay face down in my bed and think of the implications of it all. maybe eat a salad, dunno. Its only night, anything could happen.

anon i so absolutely understand mishearing that lyrics, for years actually i thought it was “the silent days are over and the beat is at my door”, and evidently it is not! and it’s also not saturday but dear god if it was that would be insane. perhaps better for us mentally that it is not.

however! the salad days line still does actually have insane connotations! ‘salad days’ is a Shakespearean idiom basically meant to signify being young and inexperienced and naive (or, more literally to the idiom, being just barely ripe lol), and also in the context of the song is meant to represent him before he was more knowledgeable about himself and the world. meanwhile, the ‘meat’ being at his door is meant to be an exact contrast to the ‘salad days’- he is no longer naive and inexperienced and not knowledgeable about the world, he has experience and has been weathered by the world but because of that experience in the world has found new confidence. so. not insane in the same way as saturday would be, but by god does it still make me feel crazy if i think about it too long, especially in contrast to thinking about bad side of 25 or even confessions of a pariah 😵‍💫

so. hope that helps you lay facedown and think about the implications of it all. sorry if it makes it worse <3 esp because if u think abt it long and hard enough im sure you could loop it back to. i’m good to go and i’m going nowhere fast, eighteen going on extinct, etc etc . much to think about x

#sorry i fucking rambled so much abt this can u tell it’s something that makes me specially insane NFKRNFK #asks #anon

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vonkarma2 · 1 year

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18 + 19 + 28 -> for ocs of your choice if you’re still doing it

these questions would be super easy if provided an oc but I’m incapable of picking one I’m actually dying. ok whatever ⬅️quotes from me that I typed out several weeks ago back then this was first asked. sorry

a memory that still makes your OC angry?

So this was difficult because like. Any specific memory I know a character has, especially one that still emotionally affects them to this day, is probably important to their backstory and as such I’ve definitely talked about it before at length so I don’t want to go over it again yk? So that leaves me with the other option of making shit up specifically for this ask game ok umm

I think the characters most driven by anger are Angel, Gloria, and Silence so I think. I’ll cover all of them very vaguely and not really answer the question because it’s hard aha so basically.

Growing up alongside other children, who typically did not like him for reasons justified and not, Angel has a lot of memories that make him furious to think about, like since the house staff didn’t really like him either they’d sometimes side against him for things that weren’t his fault. He doesn’t think about it often but whenever he does it still makes him mad to this day. He thinks it’s wrong to be like biased against a child but he

Something that makes Gloria kinda a contrast to Rocio and Angel as characters is that she does have a lot of like, experience in life for lack of a better word. She’s been around the world, she’s met and had some various types of relationships with other people, even though they were mostly very shallow, had a lot of different types of life experiences and viewed that as like, how her life was from then on. Except no she didn’t, because the whole time she was tied down to the past like mentally? I was going to say she’s probably had some experiences during her travels that she gets mad to think about but honestly I don’t think she does— these days she’s really good at just letting things go because she doesn’t get too attached to anything in the first place, so even if people have betrayed her or tried to kill her or some shit like that, it wouldn’t make her angry to think about. It’s like she always feels like she’s in search of something or running away from something because she’s still mad abt her childhood and feels like she hasn’t resolved her problems with it or confronted the issue in any meaningful way, so it stays with her yk? Most of what makes her actually genuinely mad is like. Following childhood trauma being raised by someone who didn’t seem to have any compassion for or understanding of you at all.

Silence lived in an environment kind of similar to Angel’s in that it was ran by like strict guardians who emphasized morality but it was like. A wider and pretty isolated community. So she felt like that was what the entire world was like, like she was basically trapped with everyone, and since the society encouraged emotional repression, she never saw anyone else displaying like the same dissatisfaction she felt so as far as she knew everyone was all the same. Started to like hate everyone she knew including herself and view people as fundamentally evil. (That’s part of why when meeting Cirillo she liked him so much like he was genuinely trying to be understanding. She thought he had an ulterior motive at first but since he didn’t have or want any power over anyone she eventually like warmed up to him yk.) She has a lot of bad memories of being punished or like shamed for getting mad and like raising her voice and things like that.

a memory that still makes your OC sad?

You know what’s interesting about sadness is that typically it doesn’t drive you to act so much as like anger or fear do, more so it drives you to like not act. Like to just give up and let things happen to you, yk, like be apathetic and stop caring. So it’s not as much of a motivating force as much as it is a hamper to your motivation. That’s not related to the question but it’s interesting 2 me. Anyway.

I think the character who feels the most regret about their past has to be Cirillo, but Ive already talked about him a lot and Jacinto is similar so I think I’ll talk about them instead. God they’re so hard to write I’m going to lose it I have to change something about their character. Them and Gloria I think could do with more focus/nuance, like more specific plot events to work with. But like anyway, I think a lot of memories, even ones they like thinking of in the moment, end up making them feel sad in the long run because they are pretty stuck in the past— the more they think of good memories with like their brother or their best friend, the more they feel like their life is basically over. That’s pretty dark I feel so bad about it I’m sorry 😞😞😞 they pretty much didn’t do anything wrong. I guess on the bright side, though thinking about older memories makes them feel like their life is empty Now, and they definitely are aware they’ve made mistakes in the past, it does make them feel like they have contributed something to the world in the past? Like their life overall had some meaning and so that helps them feel a bit more at peace I guess. It makes them feel sad, for sure, but in a bittersweet way yk.

is your OC a dog or cat person?

dog: rocio (only like hunting/working dogs), cirillo, gloria (only the cool ones, but the criteria for what makes dogs qualify as such is unclear and constantly changing. it’s pretty much whether she vibes with the specific individual dog immediately or not), tiago (I think he’d be the type to feed stray dogs whenever he sees them), jacinto (appreciates how theyre more straightforward to take care of, and more outwardly energetic and affectionate usually), joanna, joseph (thinks they are fun to play with)

cat: angel (likes both, prefers cats very narrowly. probably the place he grew up had a couple cats living in the building. also probably would have seen some stray dogs in the area though), laura, lucia, victor (actively dislikes dogs, scared of larger ones and annoyed by smaller ones)

^these aren’t all the characters ofc but I’m not doing everyone because the list got too long. can’t be bothered to try to remember every character there’s like 15 of them what am I Einstein 🙄

#I like talking abt ocs I promise #apparently more general prompts just make me explode and die #also this post kinda implies the characters can be sorted into categories of like #being driven by 1 primary emotion which ofc isn’t the case #especially because emotions can come from others yk #like anger coming from fear sadness coming from anger #I like talking abt that kind of thing because I think analyzing character motivations #is one of my favorite things abt making ocs #anyway thanks for asking for real :)#my ocs #I had more to say abt Victor and Jacinto #but didn’t because I wanted 2 finish writing this. sometime this month

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gxnic · 2 years

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Can I request Aoi Todo headcannons? We love big beefy men 🤪😭 If it’s okay, can you also make this one plus sized friendly 😅

omg yeah i’d be happy to!!! my boy todo never gets any love i never see anybody write abt him :(</3 so i am actually hella excited that u requested this. we do in fact love big beefy men here

general aoi todo headcanons

cw: gn! reader, nsfw stuff that’s separate from the sfw stuff

a/n: still working on my yuji and gojo one shots, sorry they’re taking so long. i’m peculiar bc my writing :(

masterlist

sfw

ooooof okkkk

i feel like this is kindaaa self explanatory but ur gonna have to put up with his idol obsession if ur in a relationship with him i’m sorry loves

he’s just a fanboy tho nothing to take personally

it’s kinda cute how excited he gets abt it like he’s so passionate

he gets all jealous tho if u talk about some celebrity u find attractive

don’t get me wrong he’ll never ACTUALLY get angry

but pouty is definitely the right word

he just doesn’t like to share u :(</3

bc let’s be real he’s more obsessed with u than anybody else

he’s so smitten for u like

i imagine when he asked u out in his head beforehand he was like “OH YEAH I GOT THIS NOTHING WILL GET IN MY WAY >:)))”

and then when the time actually came and he was asking u he was like

“would uu (´,,•ω•,,)… um… (〃▽〃) like to hang out with me maybeee…. one on one? (灬ºωº灬) like i mean a date - ITSCOOLIFNOTTHOUGHDONTFEELOBLIGATEDTOSAYYES (^◇^；)” while looking anywhere but your eyes

like that would happen regardless of how close you were beforehand

and then u say yes and he’s all like “AH OF COURSE YOU SAID YES I KNEW YOU WOULD >:DDDD”

he calls u babe/baby sigh

being in a relationship with todo also probably means being pretty good friends with yuji as well

it also entails alwaysss being on the go

this guy has no chill so ur probably gonna have to have a lot of energy to be with him

he may be a little airheaded but he knows he’s a handful so he appreciates u always being there dealing with him :)

i feel like todo would also prefer a fellow jujutsu sorcerer s/o

mmmm yes watching u fight his eyeballs find that so delicious

howeverrrrrrr if u do just lead a regular life that’s cool too u just gotta be super open minded with what he does as a sorcerer bc he’s gonna be super open about it with you

like that’s a really good quality he has

he is literally ALWAYS honest

he’s incapable of lying to you

and even if he did try lying he’d be soooo bad at it LOLL

i feel like todo falls victim to the “big strong beefy man is secretly an even bigger softie” trope

he’s suchhhh a sucker for some cute cheesy romance he definitely collects shoujo manga

for some reason i feel like he’s surprisingly good at skin care?

(please do remind him that deodorant exists tho)

also might ask to get matching tattoos…

obviously he doesn’t like getting hurt in battle but he does especially enjoy the part where you get to tend to his wounds

the feeling of your soft hands in contrast to his scarred up body built of pure muscle…

the way your body is always so close to him as you gently clean and wrap his wounds…

he even finds you adorable when you’re lightly scolding him to be less reckless

pls give him back rubs and massages too awwww that would make him melt

his favorite cuddling position is him laying on his back and you laid out across his chest

he especially likes this when you’re going to bed together bc he literally takes up the entire bed when he sleeps.

like he sprawls out across the whole thing

so if you’re on top of him then no need to worry about taking up your bed room :)

training together!

and you losing.

a lot.

he doesn’t go easy on u.

ever.

he wants u to improve after all!

he breaks u in pretty roughly when it comes to training but he’s a good teacher :)

it’s so funny when y’all hold hands too cause his are so big they literally encase yours

like have u seen him.

no matter ur height, weight, gender

he is bigger than u in every sense of the word.

which means he picks u up a lot

and like carries u around an unnecessary amount

let him bench press u LOL

he’ll be able to do it.

but anyway he rly likes this bc even if he knows u can protect yourself he loves knowing/feeling like he can protect u as well!

like i’m telling u right now there’s not a single soul in the world that would be able to lay a finger on you with him around

and if somebody somehow managed to

well…

they best get to praying.

nsfw

oh lordddd

do i even need to say that this man has a big dick?

i feel like that’s super obvious

but yea he’s got a big dick.

big breeder balls too whoops

his balls r heavyyyyy

pls play with them he loves it

he likes oral but hear me out - he prefers giving

definitely leans into being a service dom

when it comes to going down on you what he lacks in skill he 100% makes up for with enthusiasm

he loves making a sloppy wet mess between your thighs with his mouth

i don’t think this man has a lot, if any, sexual experience with another human being im sorry

meaning that it’ll take him some time to get used to

like, at first he might be pretty rough with you

he’s used to handling things in life with bluntness and brute force

you’re definitely gonna have to guide him through prepping you the first time

i’m gonna be honest with you, it’ll hurt

i know i’ve brought this up a few times but shiiiiit todo is a big man

he’s gonna split u open on that fat cock

size kink to the extreme which is great cause you’re definitely small in comparison to him anyway

he probably won’t last very long the first few times awwww <33

he likes it when you’re somewhat dominant too

when you lead the way and tease him and praise him it makes him all the more horny

his favorite positions are either fucking you into a mating press or you riding him

he’ll fuck your thighs too :p

i know its canon he’s an ass man n shit but along with that he’s also in loveeee with your thighs

he’s in love with your entire body

every curve every stretch mark every freckle every mole

goddddd just everything

you’re like a god to him

his favorite place to cum is your back

he fucks you real fast too

like at an astronomically fast pace

up to you whether or not you’ll have to ask him to slow down ;)

if he’s feeling more dominant he’ll literally fucking manhandle you into different positions ugh oh to be used like a ragdoll

he’ll slip all the way out of you then pound right back in

pls be vocal when you’re in bed with him it motivates him and makes him feel so so good

he’s a grunter

he’s the kinda guy who doesn’t mind at all if you wear revealing clothing

like he isn’t ever gonna complain about getting to see more of u he thinks ppl who get upset abt that kind of thing are stuuuuuupidddddd

he leaves hickey trails down ur body and wants u to do the same to him

the other third years just groan at the hickeys and scratches on him and refuse to acknowledge them they’d rather die than hear about his sexscapades

he worships your body and the ground you walk on

and while he wants to be gentle with you, and he is at the beginning, eventually it gets to a point where the image of you struggling to take him gets him off

his veiny cock always rubs every inch of your insides, impossible to miss your most sensitive spots

he has sooooo. much. stamina.

he can go for rounds upon rounds upon rounds

there’s no way you’re ever gonna cum just once

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jjk drabbles #jjk fluff #jjk todo #aoi todo #jjk yuji #yuji itadori #jjk x you #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk x yn

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n0bamak1s · 3 years

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mutual - mai zenin x reader

request: “Could you write mai x non-binary s/o, where mai is realizing that she has a crush on s/o, it'd be funny to see her reaction when the s/o get asked by todo before they spar, abt the kind of woman s/o like, and s/o just shrug and answer 'mai, i guess'.” - @814519

summary: reader seems to take a liking to mai, who refuses to acknowledge her schoolgirl crush on them, and todo somehow manages to be the one to get them to stop dancing around their feelings for each other. (genre: fluff, mutual pining, slice of life-y)

warnings: swearing, mentions of fighting, mostly just fluff

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i’m sorry to take a long ass hiatus again but i have some fics i’m working on rn!! thank you all sm for being so patient with how slow i can be T_T btw this one includes some very mild miwa x reader as well just as a heads up lol!

when you first transferred schools in order to master your cursed technique, your first instinct was to raise an eyebrow at your classmates. the lineup of students in your school consisted of a boy who might as well be a bodybuilder, a blonde girl whose hair seemed to defy gravity, an awkward looking stoic boy clad in traditional clothing, a girl with a gun holster on the side of her baggy pants who wore a bored expression as her gaze met yours, and a normal looking blue haired girl standing next to some rusty looking robot. with all their strange hairstyles and odd clothing choices, combined with how nonchalant they were about their mechanical companion, they might as well be the cast of some forgotten sitcom from the 80s.

after introducing yourself to your stiff new classmates, you were whisked away to be led to your dorm by the blue haired girl (would you call her a “bluenette”?) who you learned was called miwa. as you walked, you asked her questions about her cursed technique, to which she sheepishly smiled and explained how she was the most “useless” of the students.

in response to her shameless self deprecation, you simply scoffed and sent an easy smile her way. “you really shouldn’t beat yourself up like that miwa, if you do it’ll be much easier for your opponents to.” despite the teasing nature of your words, you really did hope you’d managed to encourage her a bit.

miwa turned to you with bright eyes and a sincere smile. “that means a lot, really! it’ll be so nice to have an upperclassman here who isn’t so intimidating. i’m always so nervous to ask mai for help with stuff, so it’s nice to know you believe in me!”

her smile was infectious as you mirrored your junior’s facial expression. “there’s no need to be scared of them you know, believe me, just because they’re older doesn’t mean they have any idea what they’re doing.”

she shrugged in response. “i guess you might be right, this morning mai was practically shaking in her boots about getting to meet you, so maybe it’s all just a tough facade!”

you thought back to the girl who had introduced herself as mai.

what first caught your eye was the way she carried herself. while next to her other classmates as she introduced herself to you, arms crossed over her chest and back straight, as if it was an attempt to look high and mighty. rather than a proper introduction, she simply told you her name, before looking away boredly. the both of you chose to ignore the way todo teased her, before turning to introduce himself with a smug smile. he opened his mouth to seemingly ask you something, but was quickly cut off by mai stomping on his foot, sending him a harsh look. she glanced back at you with a slightly softer expression and a monotone apology for “his idiocy.”

you chuckled quietly at the idea of the girl who presented herself as so blunt and cold getting all nervous at the idea of your arrival.

breaking you out of your reminiscence, miwa waved her hands in front of her nervously as she turned to you. “just please don’t tell her i said that!” her guilty expression rivaled that of a kid who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

before she could continue in her nervous exclamation about how intimidated she was by her senior, you grabbed her hands that had been motioning wildly to match her words. “don’t worry miwa, i’d never sell you out like that.” you let out a small chuckle as you examined the genuine worry on her face, to which she just sheepishly smiled. it was funny to you how scared she seemed of her seniors, but it couldn’t help you from getting an odd urge to want to protect the small girl.

“besides,” your smile turned sly “, if what you say is true, i bet mai would be too shy to even talk to me!” a loud laugh escaped your lips as you continued your way down the dorm halls with long strides. behind you, miwa sped up when remembering she was supposed to be the one escorting you to your dorm.

“come on, that’s not fair to hang it over my head like that!” she whined as she managed to match your pace.

as miwa trailed ever so slightly behind you, you caught sight of a newly familiar head of dark hair (under the fluorescent lighting you couldn’t entirely tell whether it was green or black.)

“mai!” you called out to the girl you’d been newly acquainted with, raising one hand in greeting and slinging the other around your very embarrassed looking juniors shoulders.

the girl you’d shouted to turned to you with heavy lidded eyes that gave her face a bored, almost annoyed, expression. her turning your way was quickly followed by todo, who you guessed had been standing next to her, glancing over the hallway corner to meet your gaze. those two made an odd pair, from what you could tell. in contrast to mai’s impassive greeting, todo had introduced himself with booming confidence, before going on to complain to utahime that he’d have to leave in order to make it back to his dorm to score tickets for a concert featuring takeda. in the moment, you had to stifle a laugh at the memory of such an intimidating looking dude having a huge crush on an idol with absolutely no shame about it.

mai opened her mouth to say something, but was quickly cut off by todos roaring voice. “hey new kid!” his demeanor had been as confident as you remember, despite the fact that you were pretty sure he’d forgotten your name in the short time from when you had left to see your dorm. you gave him a smile and a lopsided wave in response.

“did you snag those tickets you were worried about earlier todo?”

“easily.” he bragged as if you cared about getting a pair of tickets for yourself. “however, earlier i meant to ask you a question, but SHE,” he pointed a thumb annoyedly at his companion, “very rudely interrupted me by stepping on my foot.”

“todo…” mai’s tone seemed warning as her eyes flickered between you and him.

“as much as i would LOVE to hear what your question is todo, i really do have to go unpack” you smiled abashedly, pulling miwa to your side, who nodded with wide eyes at how unphased you were.

“it might be better to ask when we spar later.” he shrugged. “that way i can really hear your impulse answer.” he crossed his arms, clearly to look intimidating.

“works for me! i’ll see you then too, mai.” you winked at her as you tugged miwa along behind you. mai huffed at your embarrassing show of flirtatiousness, but you didn’t miss the slight flush of her cheeks as she turned from you while rounding the corner.

even as you were close to the door of your dorm at the end of the hall, you could still hear mai berating todo for how embarrassing he was.

“i think she likes me.” a cat like grin overtook your face as you stopped in front of your dorm.

“utahime said your uniform would be folded on your bed, once you’re changed you can join us for sparring.” miwa smiled bashful smile. she’d probably chosen to ignore your previous statement in hopes of not being dragged into any drama.

“thanks miwa!” you grinned and gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, to which she simply looked away timidly.

“it’s no problem, really.” she waved off your appreciation. “but between the two of us, i think you may be right about mai liking you.”

she bowed before running off, probably to get ready for sparring, leaving you grinning like an idiot in response to her revelation.

maybe the feeling was kinda mutual.

you were quick to change into your all black uniform pants and jacket, then breaking into a stride to the yard where sparring took place. that was, until you realized you were wandering rather aimlessly considering, you know, you didn’t really know where the yard was yet. peering around the hallway, your eye caught on an oh so familiar girl adorned in baggy black pants.

“hey mai!” you almost had it in you to feel bad for approaching her yet again.

almost.

“i’m kinda lost, d’you think i could walk with you?”

she nodded a yes in response, motioning with a hand for you to follow her.

after a one too many moments of awkward silence, you decided you’d have to be the one to bite the bullet and break it. “you know that thing todo was saying earlier about having a question he needed to ask me?” she looked up in a way that made her seem as if she’d just been brought out of being lost in her thoughts.

“what of it?”

“do you happen to know what it was? he seemed pretty serious about it.” well, as serious as todo could get.

to your surprise, mai attempted to stifle a chuckle, before a laugh managed to slip past her.

“it’s this totally dumb thing he likes to do.” she tilted her head slightly back so she looked at the ceiling as she talked. “to size people up, he likes to ask them what their type in women is.”

you let out a snort as you laughed, though you couldn’t say you were surprised.

“he seems like such a hopeless romantic, it’s hilarious.”

“yeah.” a soft smile painted her face. “but you’d better get an answer ready, if he thinks you’re too boring he’ll beat your ass.”

“really now?” you raised an eyebrow, to which she nodded in confirmation. “what does he classify as ‘boring’?”

she shrugged. “depends. whenever someone prefers personality he either beats the shit out of them or starts crying.” it was clear in her tone how exasperated her friend made her.

“what did you say? when he asked you?” you turned to face her fully, which made her realize how close together your faces were. for just a beat, she paused to examine your expression. despite your earlier teasing, you seemed sincere in your question. either you were oblivious to the blush spreading across her face, or you chose not to tease her for it.

before an answer could leave her parted open lips, she was interrupted by a voice calling both of your names.

“hey toshinori!” you smiled at the stone faced boy in front of you as you used mai’s shoulder as an armrest.

“it’s noritoshi.” the monotony in his voice made you stifle a laugh. “and you guys are running late for sparring, what were you even doing?”

her eyes glowered in his direction, clearly not in the mood to play hall monitor with him. “i was just being welcoming to our new classmate.”

he ignored her passive aggressive response and turned to you. “todo keeps asking where you are, so you might wanna hurry up.” with a swift turn, he began walking down the hallway with long strides.

once he seemed out of earshot, you burst into laughter, and from your arm you could feel mai’s shoulders shake from repressing a giggle.

“he walks like a goddamn penguin!” you referred to how his arms were wide at his sides and his stiff steps.

“him and mechamaru walk the exact same way, i’m starting to think he might just be a more advanced robot.” her dry tone was combatted by the way the corners of her mouth turned up in a lopsided grin.

“though, we should probably get going, even if i get a pass for being new here, i’m not sure how utahime would react to you being late.”

you didn’t notice how her eyes softened at your concern for her as you beckoned for her to lead the way.

“i don’t think she’d mind, after all utahime loves me for my pep and bubbly spirit.” her voice oozed with sarcasm while you smiled to yourself about how you’d managed to get her to loosen up.

the walk to the sparring field was quick, and it made you wonder how much time you two had taken just talking at the end of the hallway. you were greeted by the sight of your strangely styled classmates (plus the literal robot) beginning to split into pairs. before you could turn to mai with the question of partnering up, you were greeted by a todo with a firm hand on your shoulder.

“we’re partnering up, new kid!” it was more of a declaration than an offer. you smiled awkwardly as his shadow enveloped your figure, seeing mai be whisked away by momo out of the corner of your eye. if you’d looked close enough, you’d have been able to see the annoyed look mai sent at todo and the smug smile momo flashed at mai and her obvious display of jealousy.

you planted your feet on the ground that was caked in dust and prepared yourself into a fighting stance, with fists raised and legs steady. though it seemed you’d gotten prepared to defend from an attack that wasn’t coming. instead, todo marched over to you confidently. mai glanced over from her sparring, knowing exactly what was coming.

he called your name in his usual booming voice, which you were surprised he actually knew.

“what is your type in women?” he towered over you, his expression dead serious despite his absolutely ridiculous question.

feeling mai’s eyes trailing you, you glanced over to her. she mouthed something to you about not saying personality. you failed to hold back a chuckle, which seemed to snap todo out of his intimidating glower.

his gaze followed yours, which was still focused on mai for the briefest of moments.

“ohhhh i get it…you’ve got a thing for mai, huh?” he sounded like a child about to blackmail their sibling.

a furious blush overtook mai’s face practically instantly, while momo covered her mouth with a hand to suppress a laugh. you glanced between a boastful looking todo and a tomato looking mai.

“yeah i guess you could say she’s my type.” you shrugged nonchalantly, to which you could hear mai sputtering something about how you were just trying to embarrass her. miwa had a sheepish look on her face as she walked over to check on mai, though it only seemed to make her more flustered when miwa asked if she wanted to go to the nurse.

while witnessing the admittedly charming trainwreck happening in front of you, there was a moment for you to look back at todo.

“are you CRYING?”

“i have no shame in it. it’s like mai is my daughter and i’m walking her down the aisle at her wedding.”

“it’s absolutely nothing like that, todo.”

he ignored your blatant confusion at his reaction. “young love is so beautiful. you have my full blessing to date mai.” he sniffles and wiped his nose, then held it out for you to shake, to which you scrunched your nose in disgust.

“thanks for the ‘blessing’ and all, but now that we’re done with that, i think i should go spar with lover girl over there.” you threw your thumb over your shoulder to point to mai.

“you guys should join me and takeda for a double date! we can arrange a date once she finally answers my calls.” todo had a large grin, shameless about his tear stained cheeks.

“how about it?” you raised an eyebrow at mai, who had become significantly more composed in the time you hadn’t been looking in her direction.

“absolutely not.” she deadpanned, though her impassive look didn’t last very long as she leaned over to whisper in your ear, cracking a small smile reserved for you. “i’d rather we just hang out without that oaf, you know it’s embarrassing for them to see how you get me acting like a schoolgirl with her first crush.”

the moment paused for a split second for her to glance at todo, who was staring you down like a disapproving father.

“plus lord knows takeda isn’t answering him anytime soon.”

“I HEARD THAT!”

#mai zenin x reader #mai zenin imagine #mai zenin x you #zenin mai x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk headcanons #mai zenin #zenin mai #jjk imagines

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beomglocks · 3 years

Text

three’s a crowd ; h.k & k.th

summary : just you and your two boyfriends

pairing : bf!taehyun x bf!hyuka x reader

warnings & other : requested, fluff, idk much abt poly relationships other than there’s more than two people, sorry if this is bad LMAO, tyunning best boyfies, sleepy kai

you groan, rolling over only to find that you couldn't actually do that. had it always been like this? maybe not, you think to yourself. you groan once again and try to force your body to roll onto the right side of your bed but a firm hand kept you in place. already this early in the morning you couldn't have what you want.

"you're gonna wake him up," someone whispers softly. you peel open your eyes which are heavy with sleep and are lowkey protesting for you not to do that. you wonder for a moment if rolling over was worth slightly waking up for, however whoever was awake knew you were awake too now. maybe next time, you suppose. it would've been nice to sleep comfortably last night but it felt like you hadn't slept in ages and you can only guess why that is. the bed was cramped, and hot, and goddamn, someone had turned off the aircon in the middle of the night!

when you look up, one out of two of your boyfriends, taehyun, is already sitting up against the headboard, completely awake. his head is perched up against the headboard and in his hands is his phone. "were you awake this whole time?" you ask him. your voice is raspy and sounds gross as you prefer to not speak as soon as you wake up but you're curious. though it's true that he was the early bird among you three it was still fairly early for him to be awake.

"i woke up an hour ago plus the bed is too stuffy," he says looking down at you staring up at him. so he had felt it as well, nice to know you weren't the only one who slept uncomfortably. "well.." you let your words drift off into the air as you turn to the other boy who is completely unconscious on the bed. his mouth is slightly open and you swear you can see drool threatening to slip out of his mouth. his curly hair is messily strewn all over the place and in his clutches is a plushie you or taehyun had once gifted him for a birthday, you don't remember.

what a sight, you think to yourself. huening kai, ever the dreamy sleeper. he looks peaceful despite the contrast of how absolutely petrified he was at the sight of the haunted doll, annabelle, in the movie you all watched last night.

taehyun shakes his head with a smile on his face, "it's not like i suggested watching literally anything else." you make a movement that you think could pass off as a shrug but you don't think taehyun can tell. "he said he could handle it and you know i can't say no to our baby."

you move around on the bed for a moment to find a comfortable position to speak to him in without disturbing kai. "plus we all got to cuddle for once, even though it was hot as hell last night," you mumble.

"sacrifices were made," taehyun mumbles. he sets his phone down on the bed beside you and rubs your head in what you think is an affectionate way but he's been working out and it hurts. "ouch," you grumble, deciding to stick by hueningkais still asleep frame.

the moment you cuddle up to kai who is facing away from you, he turns over so that you're both face to face. you don't think he realizes so you just kiss the tip of his nose lightly. "breakfast?" taehyun suddenly asks. you think to yourself for a moment. it sounds tempting to go help taehyun with whatever he plans on making for the three of you to consume however, the bed is just too comfortable. despite it being hot, kai's body heat is a type of hot that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

"can you go make it? i wanna be here when he wakes up so he doesn't think we abandoned him after the movie." kai can be a bit tender after scary movies. the whole reason why you and taehyun hadn't slept well was that, for no other underlying reason at all, kai suddenly wanted all three of you to cuddle on the bed.

it was a cute idea that you agreed to and although taehyun was reluctant, he too agreed to the proposal.

you move your boyfriends hair away from his peaceful looking face and you watch as his nose scrunches up but soon goes back to normal after a couple of seconds.

"we also need a bigger bed," you mumble randomly. you hear taehyun snort a laugh behind you, "when we first moved in, the first thing i pointed out was how tiny the bed was." he crosses his arms over his chest and decides to watch you play with kai's hair.

you turn over with a playful frown on your face, "im not the one who had a growth spurt! the bed was fine back then." you feel hueningkai stir beside you and suddenly his gravelly morning voice is rumbling through your ear.

"bunk beds?" he mumbles with his eyes still closed and a lopsided smile on his face. you tug on a piece on his hair when he situates his body to lounge over both yours and taehyun's like free real estate. "hell no," you both say in unison, protesting the idea.

"im going back to sleep," kai grumbles with a slight roll of his eyes. taehyun pats the other boys hair, soothing out the stray bed hairs that are sticking out. "what do you want to eat?" taehyun asks, getting up from the bed and stretching out his limbs. "make pancakes," you suggest. thankfully, hueningkai is fast asleep once again so he can't protest to the food choice.

taehyun nods, walking away to the kitchen. you decide to stay and run your hands lightly up and down your boyfriend's back. his slow breaths are lulling you back to sleep too but you fight to stay awake. if you fall back asleep you know you both won't wake up until late in the afternoon and that just won't do because kai has to finish the errands he didn't finish yesterday.

you get up from the bed, making sure not to wake kai up, which somehow you manage to do successfully. you make a mental note that he sleeps like a baby after scary movies.

you walk into the kitchen and see taehyun preparing the ingredients for pancakes. he lets you watch him for a while until you go up to him and insist on clinging to him, something he can't and won't protest against.

about 15 minutes into making pancakes, hueningkai straggles into the kitchen. you snort out a laugh at his appearance. his tall frame is leaning forward, the first indication that he's still half asleep. the second is his pouty lips and closed eyes. his hair is sticking up in all different directions as he messes with it because he sees you staring at it.

"you left me," he scolds. "you were sleeping," you defend quickly. "i got hungry," you smile.

"whatever, they smell good," he yawns. "wanna taste?" taehyun asks, holding up a piece of a previously cooked pancake. "yes, me first!" you detach yourself from his back and stand in front of him so he can feed you. hueningkai sleepily walks over for his bite of food to taste after you.

"they're good," you both say. "of course they are, i made them," taehyun says proudly. you fight the urge to flick his head, "i helped." you mumble. "i don't doubt it at all," hueningkai pipes up. "they have a bit of your flavor."

"what the hell does that even mean?" you give him a weird look, waiting for him to elaborate. out of the corner of hit eye you see taehyun smile lazily at overhearing the early morning conversation. "god wait, i didn't mean it like that! im still half asleep for fucks sake," he raised his hands up and waves them. "im going back to sleep," he announces.

as he starts sauntering off back to the room you detach from taehyun who seems to be almost done. "im still kind of tired too... come join when you're done," you give him a chaste kiss as you walk away from him.

taehyun sighs to himself as he finishes up the rest of the food.

just another day.

#taehyun imagines #hueningkai imagines #taehyun fluff #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt reactions #drabble #fluff #txt headcannons #taehyun timestamps #hueningkai timestamps #tyunning #tomorrow x together imagines

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kumzume · 4 years

Text

control ft. tsukishima kei

wc. 1.5k words (and it’s still ass??? a crime)

warnings. SMUT, bad writing lmao, blowjob, whiny kei, (male) masturbation, caught(??) masturbating if you squint, also abrupt ending, way too much exposition, not enough hornknee

an. writing this was like pulling teeth and it is BAD 😀 i am having a writing crisis & this is just the nail in the coffin LMAO anyways this is for @bokuhub (we talked abt it on my main blog but im so sorry ajdhks maybe i’ll write something better later <3)

kei hates feeling out of control.

it’s the reason he’s kept the same circle of friends for the past 5 years, same reason he hasn’t changed his favorite dessert order for even longer than that, and the same reason he is terrified to let you breach the wall between friends and more.

it isn’t that he doesn’t trust you—he does, with his life—but you make him feel things he’s never felt before. kei has had crushes before and he knows that this isn’t that. never in his life has he been so willing to try new things, to meet new people, to give up the control he so desperately needs and it scares him.

he’s scared to become vulnerable and open himself up to rejection or even worse, the loss of your friendship.

so, he ignores it. he pushes down his feelings of almost-but-not-fully-love for you in favor of being close to you.

the closeness, unfortunately, is also a major problem.

growing up, kei had very few friends and even fewer romantic prospects due to his callous attitude and piercing words. he’s only been kissed twice and both of those were with yamaguchi (they were thoroughly unenjoyable kisses, the both of them being 13 and never having kissed anyone else before) but he isn’t exactly ashamed of his status as an unexperienced adult virgin. it just doesn’t help his attraction to you in the slightest.

he realized early on in your “relationship” that you are very affectionate. tight hugs, forehead kisses, holding hands, and cuddling on the couch while watching movies were all normal things for you to initiate with kei on any given day. and on any given day, he would dart out of your hold with a blush on his face and a half assed excuse with a large hand covering his crotch.

he didn’t mean to get hard. it’s just, you were you, gorgeous, kind, and funny and when your soft, small hand (oh god, your hand is so much smaller than his; he wonders how it would look wrapped around his cock) finds its way in his, it’s like his body doesn’t know how to respond so it sends copious amounts of blood to his head and to his crotch.

it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable but you never seem to mind, giggling behind your hand as he darts off to fuck his fist in your bathroom for the third time this week.

this happens to be one of those times, all these thoughts clouding his mind as he stands hunched over your toilet, thrusting into the tight ring of his hand like his life depends on it. all you had done was laugh and he felt himself thicken in his boxers.

kei shakes his head, his blond strands sticking to the sweat on his forehead as he chases his high in the comfort of his hands. kei hates thinking of the way you affect him so easily, his touch-starved body craving you like an animal craves water. but he just can’t help it. thinking of you standing outside the bathroom, listening to his self pleasure and touching yourself or even better, waiting to burst in and look down on him in disgust. it’s that thought that pushes him over the edge, his whole body tensing as he paints rope after rope of cum on the porcelain seat.

kei quickly flushes the evidence of his crime down the toilet before going to wash his hands in your sink. he can hardly look at himself in the mirror, the guilt eating up his spine. is he really that desperate that he can’t hold off masturbating until he goes home? yes. the answer is yes.

he sighs and leaves the bathroom only to run right into you just outside the door. his heart rate picks up in his chest as you look him over with a sweet smile on your face, your eyes lingering on his flushed cheeks.

did you know what he had done? were you going to curse at him? kick him out? or—

“cmon kei, you were in there for forever! we need to study, stupid.” he releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding as he follows you into your bedroom, watching as you plop down on your bed and lie down on your back. your shirt rides up on your torso, giving tsukishima a good view of your soft skin and fuck, he feels himself getting hard again.

luckily, you don’t seem to notice his reaction, your eyes trained on your ceiling as a contemplative look crosses your face. “i heard you, yknow,” you say, your tone light but kei can hear an undercurrent of accusation in your words. he freezes, his golden eyes darting towards to door, calculating how much time it would take for him to bolt out the door and into his car to never see you again and—

“i didn’t mind it. your moans are pretty,” you continue, your eyes finally resting on the man in question who looks about ready to sink into the floor.

oh. oh.

kei can hardly think, let alone speak as you rise off your bed and make your way towards him, your eyes holding a glint of something he’s never seen from you before. it only takes a few strides before you’re right in front of him, gazing up into his frames through your lashes as though you’re the embarrassed one.

one of your (small) hands makes its way to hold his face and he feels like he might die, his heart is beating so fast. you give him a small sweet smile that is in direct contrast to your other hand trailing down his body to rest on his belt buckle.

if kei wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now.

you don’t move your hand from its place on his pants as your eyes focus on his bright pink face and plush bottom lip worrying in between his straight white teeth. he looks terrified and you find it in yourself to feel a little bit bad about what you’re about to do.

“kei honey?” all you get in response is a high whimper from the back of his throat and judging by the way his eyes widen and his cheeks burn even brighter, you figure that reaction wasn’t quite anticipated. you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face as your thumb reaches to pull his lip from in between his teeth, the appendage stroking over the soft, bitten skin there.

you don’t consider yourself easily surprised but when kei pulls your thumb into your mouth, sucking on it while gently laving his tongue around it, you feel your knees weaken as a wave of slick paints your underwear. “oh baby... you want me to ruin you, don’t you?”

oh fuck.

kei did want that, more than you could ever know but due to the finger in his mouth and his pounding heart, he found himself unable to answer with anything but a nearly imperceptible nod. thankfully, you saw it and are more than willing to give him what he wants.

carefully, you lead him to your bed, the hand on his belt tugging him until he’s lying back on your covers, gazing at you as though you’re the only person in the world. you feel your heart clench a little at the implications in his eyes but you quickly ignore it to focus on unbuckling his belt.

he’s hard and leaking through his boxers when you finally remove his pants, a quivering sigh leaving his mouth at the cold air hitting the dampness above his tip. when you manage to tear your eyes away from his big (holy shit, was he always that big??) cock and onto his face, the look he gives you has your clit throbbing.

“yn,” kei whines, high and breathy. “p-please touch me- ah, ah, fuck!” his words (and thoughts) are entirely cut off by the sensation of your warm, wet mouth engulfing his dick. he’s so big, you can only take him halfway but what you can’t take down your throat, you pump with your hand.

a litany of curses and moans slip from his lips as you pull up off of him to suck on the sensitive head before taking him all the way back to the hilt. one of his hands jerks to your head to grab a hold of your hair. “holy shit, i-i think i’m going to—yn-“

with only that as a warning, thick cum spills into your mouth, so much that you nearly choke before pulling off of him and stroking him through his orgasm. it takes him a moment to stop cumming, his chest heaving with the intensity of his high.

once you’re sure he’s done, you crawl up the bed until you’re lying next to kei, one of your hands finding it’s way into his hair. his eyes flutter shut at the gesture while he leans into your touch, not realizing how exhausted he is.

with a kiss to the forehead, kei falls asleep, entirely out of control and entirely in love.

#LMAO THERE ARE TWO (2) PARAGRAPHS OF ACTUAL SMUT IN THIS WHOLE THING #i would like to die ? pls and thank? 😀✨#this is embarassinggggg #but i needed to get something out on this acc lmao #wtv 🙃😗✌️#kei <3 #😽.writing #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima smut #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going! Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I��ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”. he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well” while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school.

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #crying paper #proud paper!#tohru is just so precious!#final season #Part 1

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tequiladimples · 3 years

Note

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I saw that you dislike when collision is branded het cause you're not het, but no one's talking about you personally? like for me, I really like collision but I can understand the criticism in a way and that isn't an attack on you (or an attack at all lol). again hope I'm not rude but idk it seems unnecessary to get upset, it's better to take it as constructive criticism

sigh i don't think ur rude but it simply isn't constructive.

look i’ll talk abt this one more time n then i Beg we can put it to rest! (this is gna be a lot of word vomit but if i'm elaborative now i hope i won't have to talk abt this ever again)

i’m deeply insecure abt many aspects of collision. i don’t really keep that a secret. i also know some ppl don't like fantasy, some ppl don't like the kinds of dynamics i like, some ppl don't vibe with my style of writing (hell, i barely vibe with my style of writing). those things are fine. i can't control that and i don't take that personally. the reason why this is the one critique i do take personally is because it genuinely presumes wrongful, harmful things about me and my values, especially when i've made deliberate efforts to avoid writing the exact flavor of fic they're accusing me of having written. just because people don’t mean for what they say to reflect back on me, doesn’t stop it from doing so.

the thing about calling something a “het fic” is that the term brings along certain connotations which i don’t stand by at all and feel deeply uncomfortable and distraught to possibly have created. i’ve gone over this godforsaken story again and again just to be absolutely sure i didn’t actually do so. when people say “het fic” they generally don’t mean “boy meets girl and they fall in love”, they mean “super rude and mean boy meets uptight virtuous girl and makes her fall in dependence with him through manipulation and treating her like shit until she behaves how he wants.” and that is straight up not the fic i wrote. i’m not stupid. i know the dynamic i went with is widely and easily misused and there’s a lot of fiction depicting really bad, uneven, unhealthy relationships through it. i knew this going in, and i’ve tried persistently to avoid making those same mistakes.

skipping over the fact that they’re both boys (bc duh)--harry doesn't exhibit any real manipulative power over louis. collision harry is a grumpy, fruity little nerd who happened upon a really unfortunate lot in life and managed to trick himself into believing he's evil for like half a second of the story and his resolves crumble like a danish pastry the moment he receives his first hug. he's kind of aloof and arrogant, and understandably hardened from his past, but he's not bad. he's just lost. that's the basis of his character arc. now on the other hand, louis has harry wrapped around his finger starting like chapter 4. harry’s the one who opens up emotionally first, harry’s the one desperately seeking louis’ approval and caring about his opinion, harry’s the one who makes himself vulnerable continuously throughout the entire story. the only time louis makes himself vulnerable on a comparable scale is during the smut scenes, and even then, harry is gentle and attentive and puts louis first. louis is less experienced than harry in that area, but he isn't scared or intimidated by harry, and he has full reigns of the progression and nature of their relationship as a whole. that’s kind of how it needs to go with tough x soft dynamics for the power balance to not feel uneven, and i wrote the story accordingly. if you then happen to still be so blindly determined to associate soft/small with weakness (and thereby uh, womanhood ig) that you still felt like louis had an inferior position to harry solely because he is indeed soft/small, that sounds quite frankly like a you problem.

now, the whole point of louis’ character is that he’s underestimated. sure, he’s naive and self-centered and sheltered from the real world--that’s the basis of his character arc. those things all change. but louis isn’t ever weak. like idk who apparently needs to hear this but you can be small and simultaneously not be a pushover. the two aren’t mutually exclusive. there isn’t a single time louis takes shit in this story, especially not from harry; he gives back as good as he gets every time. oh! and then he literally saves the entire universe and the execution of that whole thing was his idea alone. i tried really hard to underline how strong-willed and full of grit he is to contrast what others think of him. if you think he’s portrayed as a meek and frail damsel, you missed the point. once again, i feel like we circle back to this misconception of louis being kind of naive and physically small = louis being inferior = louis being female. just do some soul searching.

(i could also get into the fact that for a bunch of people who don’t know these boys personally (no matter how much we like to think we do), this fandom is weirdly opinionated about characterization. especially regarding sexual stuff. i know creating a version for ourselves of who we think these boys are based on things we recognize in ourselves or things we find endearing is part of the comfort with loving them. but that doesn’t really equate to actually knowing them, and besides, this is fan fiction; no one’s opting to write a biography, anyway. being experimental and explorative and putting different aspects of their personalities in different lightings is what makes fic fun. if someone’s writing harmful or one-dimensional characters, that’s one thing, and preferences is again whatever floats your boat. but the “out of character” argument feels mostly really strange to me. this is a bit of a tangent, though.)

lastly, the thing is that i will and i do take it personally if someone insinuates that a character--a gay character--that i, a lesbian, construed is a secret vessel for expressing heterosexual attraction. if someone calls louis a “self-insert”, that does reflect back on me. and to elaborate on that--i don’t particularly love to bring it up, but it's quite disheartening to pour personal PTSD experiences into a character and rly put effort into doing it right and justice and underline growth and healing, just to find out people disregard all that completely in favor of declaring that my self-projection lies in the attraction to a man--which is to say, the one thing i couldn’t possibly feel more estranged from. it's so incredibly tactless. i feel thoroughly whiny at this point but how is that not supposed to make me a little sad?

anyway. none of this is to say that you can’t dislike or critique collision. you can. sometimes ppl don’t like things. but i hope i’m clear about where i’m coming from with my discomfort now. people’s preferences and dislikes are indeed not mine to be hurt by, but these things are. this definitely got unnecessarily long and i probably look like i take myself unbearably seriously (i promise i don’t), so i’m sorry. but at least i've said everything now, and if i encounter this sort of rhetoric in the future, i have something to redirect people to. also anon, none of this is directly pointed at you, i know you mean well. take care <3

#look away this is so long #also @ my non fic mutuals scroll past it pls #it’s not that deep i’m just tired #ask

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bxthharmon · 4 years

Text

Never Go Home Again, Pt. VIII || JJ Maybank x Reader

Words: 4102 (jeez, making up for a short last episode??)

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex tapes and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: Breaking and entering? / underage drinking

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy. teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: Midsummers takes place as the pogues make headway in the hunt, Y/N struggles with her two friends’ enmity.

A/N: okay so longgg chapter. hope it’s not too bad, and i only hv one chapter left in my drafts so im gonna have to start writing instead of just editing... hopefully updates will stay just as frequent tho. lemme know abt tags and feedback, and pleaseeeeeee send requests!!! lockdowns giving way too much time.

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

You borrowed your dad’s car, and dressed in the simplistic, elegant dress intended for your prom back in LA, you arrived at the party.

You found yourself surrounded in summery cocktail dresses and flower crowns, tuxedos that ranged from elegant dark blue to pastel pinks, a couple of floral patterns spicing up the mix. Soft lights hung loosely over the patio, lights hardly noticeable in the soft, bright hue of the evening, the sun yet to fall into the glittering sea stretched out from the view in the hotel. You worked your way through the silks, chiffons and satins. Drinks were pushed into your hand, tapas offered and awkward smiles shared. By the time you found Kie, you were armed with a glass of champagne and the feeling of not belonging. She laughed at your already exhausted smile, and had dragged you to find Pope. Once you were with Kie, it took twice as long to get anywhere, because everyone seemed to stop her and ask about her parents, the restaurant, or to offer criticism on her choice of friends, giving you side-eye. You were the one who spotted Pope, pointing him out and letting her drag you over to him.

“Excuse me, sir,” Kie mocked a British accent, “do we have to shuck these ourselves? ‘Cause it might mess up my costume.”

You all laughed, hugging him in greeting. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Pope returned the joke, doing your pogue handshake.

“That accent was bad.” You shook your head.

“Yeah, it was. I was gonna let it go.” She laughed, “Y/N’s is way better.”

“Oh stop it!” you joked, in your British accent, pretending to blush, “You’re making me blush.”

“You ever seen this many kooks in one place?” Kie asked.

“Yeah, last year.” Pope grinned.

“We’re in the lion’s den.” You sighed. “Hey, have either of you heard from JJ?”

They looked at you sympathetically, shaking their heads.

“He’ll be alright.” Kie soothed. “He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach.”

“In the month I’ve known him, this is the longest I’ve gone without hearing from him.” You sighed, and Pope looked down guiltily.

“This is my fault.”

“You didn’t do this, Pope.” you assured him, “Topper almost killed you, remember? JJ chose to, you know him, always putting others first. You can’t carry the blame, that’s not fair on you.”

You turned to the noise of an applaud, seeing Sarah and her family entering. You held back a snigger at the sight of Rose’s crown, but smiled at Sarah, who smiled back.

“Here come Lord Capital and the exploiters.” Kie sighed.

“She’s definitely gonna poke someone’s eye out with that.” Pope commented, and you looked back at Rose’s headdress, this time unable to contain the giggle.

You chatted for a while longer, finishing the lavish champagne and wanting to have some fun. You had practically dragged Kie to the dance floor, making her dance with you as a steady flow of drinks passed both your systems. Eventually, she was summoned to talk with her parents, leaving you alone on the dance floor. Before long, you found yourself dancing with Sarah, spinning her round, and exaggerating the both of your moves, mocking the way the adults were dancing. You went to get a drink after a few songs, and walked straight into JJ.

He was just as surprised as you, but you reacted quickly, pulling him down into a soft kiss by his collar. You looked over your shoulder, blushing at the sight of Pope and Kie clapping and giving you thumbs up. You turned your attention to him, tracing your thumb over his split lip and the bruises on the left side of his face. The dark cut contrasted the pink of his lips, and the bruises looked a painful, mottled purple that spread over his jaw and up to his cheek bone.

“JJ,” you murmured, “Did your dad do this?”

“My dad, got a nice right jab, ya know?” he tried to joke, seeing the worry in your eyes. The light he hoped would return to your eyes stayed gone, as anger took over your features.

“JJ, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” you seethed, “He had no fucking-”

“Y/N,” he said, cupping your face, “leave it, okay? It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.”

“JJ that’s not making me feel any bet-”

He kissed you again, taking you off guard, and you smiled softly when he pulled away. “I gotta go,” he mumbled, “I’ll see you in a bit, I promise, babygirl.”

You nodded dumbly as he walked away, turning back to Sarah, and seeing her wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her, making an excuse to leave, and walked over to Kie, who started pestering you for details, which you supplied. Your discussion with Kie was cut short by the sight of JJ being hauled out of the house and into the garden.

“Hey, Mr Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that’s really nice of you. I’m actually gonna down that.” he took the drink, and, well, downed it. “It’s okay everybody!” he yelled, “Do not panic. Leave it to the men and women in uniform! Let’s hear it for them!” he shouted, making you and Kie smirk, trying to hide your giggles. “Rose! You look like lady liberty. Good to see you again. Hey, buddy, can I have one of those?”

“Let go of him!” You called, working your way towards him.

“You can’t just boot him!” Kie backed you, ignoring the warning looks you were both getting from her parents. He looked up at you, a tiny smile on his face. “I invited him here! I’m a member of this club.” she continued through her parent’s protests. JJ turned and pushed the guard into the crowd, stumbling in the opposite direction.

“Sorry about that! Hey,” he pointed at you and Kie, “mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie, Y/N. Pope, you as well, alright? Rixon’s cove, let’s roll! A’ight Y/N, come on!” You grinned, he turned to Kie, “Workers of the world unite, throw off your chains!”

Kie and Pope ran ahead, both hugging John B, and you ran straight into JJ’s arms, letting him swing you around and kiss you, for once, not caring that everyone was staring.

“Hey, guys, so like, my dad’s already gonna kill me.” Pope said as you all settled around the campfire. “So what’s this mandatory meeting about?”

John B shot finger guns to JJ, who looked up, “Might as well tell him, man, before we’re all gaffed.”

“You ready for this? John B replied.

You and Kie looked at each other, “Yeah.” you said, in unison.

“So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.” John B started.

“Here we go again.” You muttered, settling into JJ’s side.

“No, alright? Wait. Hear him out, alright?” JJ backed John B, and you frowned, shrugging and gesturing for him to continue.

“It’s been here the whole time. It’s on the island.”

“Are you serious?” Kie asked. “Oh my God.”

“I’d like to voice my skepticism.” Pope spoke.

“I’m sure you would, Pope, but can I please present you with my evidence, Sir?”

“Proceed.” Pope mocked.

“Alright, so, in my backpack, I have a letter from Denmark Tanny.”

“Who the fuck’s that?” You questioned.

“Denmark Tanny was a slave who survived the Royal merchant wreck. Check this out.” he handed Kie some paper, “So slaves weren’t mentioned as crew members on the ship, but my dad, he found the complete manifest. That was his big discovery. So Tanny used the gold from the Merchant to buy his freedom.” Kie passed you the paper. “After that, he bought his farm. Drumroll please,” you drumrolled on your thighs, “because that farm is… Tannyhill Plantation.”

“Tannyhill?” Kie affirmed. You passed Pope the paper.

“Yeah.” John B continued, “so after that, he used his money to free even more slaves. And then he sold a shit ton of rice, which pisses off all the white planters, and then they decide to lynch him. So on the day they were coming to get him, he writes a letter to his son as a farewell, and in the last line of that letter, he leaves a coded message about where to find the gold.”

“Where?” You whisper excitedly.

“Harvest the wheat, in parcel nine, near the water. Except, there’s no wheat. You see, wheat is code for gold. Check this out.” he shows you another piece of paper, and a map. “The gold is in parcel nine, near the water.” you and Kie squeal, laughing excitedly, “All we need is an original survey map of the property, and we’ve found the gold!”

“Okay, so, this might have a small chance of actually being true.” Pope said, and JJ got up from beside you.

“Dude,” you laughed, “this is like, King Tut!”

JJ pulled John B into a hug, lifting him up. “Hello, fire! You’re near the fire. You’re gonna burn.” John B warned, and JJ put him down. “I’m so proud of you right now.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s really sweet of you.” JJ looked at you, “And jeez, Y/N, what is it with you and Tutankhamun?”

“4th Grade history?” You guessed.

“Okay, so, guys,” Pope brought the attention back. “What’s the plan?”

“Good question.” John B agreed.

“How long does this go on for?” you moaned, “Wrap it up, JB.”

“Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight.” he simplified. “And she’ll bring the original survey.”

“Hold on.” Kie stopped him, “Sarah? Wh-why Sarah?”

“This is gonna be good.” JJ muttered, and you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Sarah, um, she - she helped me into the archives at Chapel Hill yesterday, and that’s where I got the letter.”

“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” Kie frowned, anger contorting her features.

“Are you guys macking?” you asked, a disbelieving smirk on your lips.

“He was mackin’ on her.” JJ confirmed, interrupting John B’s pitiful attempts at an explanation, and earning him a giggle from you.

“For real?” you asked John B.

“I wasn’t macking.” John B defended.

“You were totally macking Sarah Cameron.” JJ repeated.

“I wasn’t macking on her, okay? I was using her for access.”

“There was access, alright.” JJ mumbled, earning another giggle.

“Okay,” you piped up, “JB you should have consulted first, Kie, she obviously did something shitty, but JB, using her is pure shitty, so you better just be covering for yourself right now.”

He looked at you defeated, and you groaned. “Did you tell her about the treasure?” Kie asked.

“I was just trying to get into the archives!”

“Is that a yes?”

“I left out key details!”

“Yo, what? You let a kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe? What about the t-shirt company, bro?”

“I was just using her for information.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“I’m tryna make us filthy rich here! Okay, so that we can pay off a boat, or - or, uh, send you to autopsy school to study dead bodies! Look, you guys know me! Do I look like the kind of person who would fall for Sarah Cameron?”

You and JJ made eye contact, “well..” you started.

“Um.” he chuckled.

“Do you want us to answer that, or-”

“Just - just stop.” John B looked at the pair of you, defeated.

“Look, you don’t know her yet, I do! You can’t trust her!”

“Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club.” Pope pointed out.

“Rafe and Sarah are different human beings.” John B countered.

“What did she do to you, exactly?” you asked Kie, wandering how she could hate your friend so much.

“She’s like a - a spitting cobra. First she - first she blinds you and then she-”

“This is a bad analogy.” you mumbled.

“Listen to me!” Kie demanded, “Whatever we get, she’s gonna try to take.”

You and JJ were lying on your bed, not having bothered to get changed before getting under the covers. You interlocked your fingers with his, snuggling closer, your eyes barely open. “What do you think Sarah did?”

JJ turned his head to look at you, he could tell it was tearing you up. “I… don’t know.” JJ sighed, defeated. “I’ve known Kie for years, and she’s never talked about it.”

“Sarah was super kind to me, I don’t understand why Kie is so against her. It’s so shitty, ‘cause they’re both my friends, and I want them to get on, but they obviously won’t.”

“They might?” JJ muttered, thinking.

“C’mon, Jay, you know it’s impossible. And I don’t even know what happened between them, so I can’t fix it.”

“You know it’s not up to you to fix it, right?”

“So why do I feel like I have to?”

“Because you’re an empathetic, kind, brilliant person?”

“Jay,” you groaned, as he kissed you, “Be serious!”

“I am.” he mumbled, kissing you again.

“You’re infuriating,” you giggled, “you know that?”

“It’s all part of my brand.”

“Your brand?”

“Oh yeah, super-hot surfer pogue, insanely funny, get’s the best weed on the island, you know, the usual.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Hey! At least I have a brand!”

“Is that a comment aimed at me?” you mocked offence.

“I mean, your brand is ‘mysterious new girl’.”

“You think I’m mysterious?”

“I mean, yeah, none of us know, like, why you moved or anything about you.”

Your heart twinged, but you covered for yourself, mocking him, “It’s all part of my brand.”

“I’m sorry, you’re staying where?” Kie passed John B to get to the bar, the group having gathered in the Wreck.

“Tannyhill.” John B repeated, and you shook your head, disbelieving.

“So you’re living with Sarah Cameron?”

“Okay, look, the only reason I’m living there is because her dad bailed me out, right?”

“I still can’t believe you got pushed off that wooden frame thing.” You muttered, and he smirked, fighting down a laugh as you and Kie went to the group’s table.

“And it’s way better than foster care,” he continued, “which, by the way, where I was about to go if Ward didn’t-”

“Hey, so do you have membership to the clubs now?” Pope asked.

“I don’t know, Pope.”

“What about those little golf carts that they drive around?” JJ added, “You get one of them?”

“Does it come with a sweater-vest, or do you have to buy one of those on your own?” You add.

“Look, you promised.” Kie brought the focus back, like always. “You said you weren’t with her.”

“Bro, just own it.” JJ backed, “She got you.”

“Look if you wanna hang out with her, that’s fine.” Kie sighed, “I mean, Y/N sometimes hangs out with her. But I’m letting you know right now that I’m not doing anything with Sarah.”

“Do you guys see her here?” John B pointed out, “No, right. Okay. A little focus would be fantastic. We’ve got the map, right?”

“It’s all out of whack ‘cause the guy was ganja’d when he drew it.” JJ commented.

“No,” you corrected, “the coastline changed, dummy.”

“So we just have to look for landmarks that haven’t changed.” Pope clarified.

“What about the old forts?” John B suggested.

“You know, the more you guys talk, the more I realise that I know nothing about this island.” You observed, treasuring the feeling of JJ running a hand through your hair.

“Battery Jasper.” Kie pointed.

“Let’s go.” you stood up, leading the group out to the VW.

John B drove, none of you really paying attention until you reached the landmark.

The five of you looked out over the island, expansive green leading to expansive blue, you were at a high point. “We’re in battery, right here.” Pope points on the map. “So if this is parcel nine, then it’s somewhere northeast of here.”

“Somewhere over there.” Kie points, and you take JJ’s juul off him, taking a puff, then handing it back.

“Over there?” JJ followed the point. “Guys, that’s not Tannyhill, that’s a subdivision.”

“Tannyhill Plantation used to be the entire island.” reminded John B. “It got sold into smaller pieces over time.”

Pope inspected the map again, “So we’re just looking for an old stone wall.”

You ventured back to the Twinkie, following Pope’d instructions, again. John B took a sharp left, pulling up next to an overgrown stone wall.

“That looks like a stone wall to me.” JJ said, almost proud.

“This is it.” Pope confirmed. Your car doors clattered open as you hopped out of the car.

“Not the Crain House.” John B sighed.

“Are you kidding me?” Kie repeated the sentiment.

“Worst case scenario.” JJ confirmed.

“Why’d it have to be here of all places?” Pope asked.

“Hang on a second.” You turned to your friends, your lack of apprehension standing out in the group. “It’s just a house. What’s the big deal?”

“I heard Mrs Crain buried her husband’s head on the property.” JJ told you. You all looked at him, the other’s in fear, you in skepticism.

“Well that’s bullshit.” you shrugged, taking a hold of the top of the wall and pulling yourself up, throwing your legs over and landing in the overgrown thicket. You pricked yourself in the brambles, and swore. The pogues on the other side of the wall immediately started asking if you were okay, making you giggle. “Just be careful of the brambles.”

Once they were all on the inside, you began to venture inwards. “Look, Y/N, you know whose house this is, right?”

“Some old lady’s?” you guessed, and were greeted with four unimpressed stares.

“Honestly, I don’t really believe the stories of this place.” John B joined your skepticism, but was shushed by Pope.

“Which stories did you hear?” JJ asked Kie.

“The one where she killed her husband with an axe and that she’s been holed up ever since.” said Kie, making you snort. “On certain nights, when the moon is full…”

You saw where it was going, and joined in with Kie’s mockingly spooky hand movements as she finished, “... you can see her in the window!” the pair of you giggled.

“No, girls, it’s not funny, ‘cause it’s all true.” JJ shook his head, as you and Kie made ‘Waah’ noises. “I swear to God guys, this is all real. I knew Hollis. Jeez!”

You smirked, “Yeah, jeez. Who knew you were superstitious? And who’s Hollis?”

“Wait, you knew Hollis Crain?” asked Pope.

“Who’s Hollis?” you repeated, ignored again.

“Yeah, dude.” JJ confirmed.

“Dude, how do you know Hollis Crain?”

“Dude, who is Hollis Crain?” you mocked Pope’s anxious movements.

“She was my babysitter, man. She told me all about it.” He looked around the group, “She told me the truth… about her mother and what happened in this house.”

“And what would that be?” You asked, still skeptical as you looked up to the unkempt house.

“So as a kid, she heard all the stories that her mother killed her father, and she was a murderer and all. Hollis didn’t believe it. Until that night.”

“What night?”

“It all came back to her.” JJ turned to look at the house, “When Hollis was six years old, she heard her parents arguing downstairs. So she goes downstairs to see her mom washing her hands in the sink full of blood. Her mother just says that she cut her finger. The next morning, she says her father and her split up. But then, Hollis noticed something. Her mother going into the parlour constantly, in and out and in and out with plastic bags. Weeks pass, and Hollis decides to use the outhouse. And as she’s using it, she looks down, and there, in the outhouse, is her father’s head, looking straight back at her.”

“God, you are so full of shit.” you and John B outburst in unison.

“Dude, I swear to God, man.” JJ shook his head.

“Did she call the police?” Pope asked.

“She didn’t have time.” you and John B started to walk on, only to be grabbed and pulled back by JJ.

“What?” you asked, confused. He turned to John B.

“You sure you wanna do this? She’s an axe murderer. You got a cast on.”

“I don’t give a shit if she’s an axe murderer, okay? I got nothing to lose, right? You comin’, or what?”

You follow John B through the garden, and he gathers you in a semicircle. “So here’s the plan. We need to look for the wheat near the water like it said in Denmark’s letter.”

“Okay, like, what kind of water?” asked Pope, “Like, pond water?”

JJ chuckled, “Bong water?” you slapped his arm lightly.

“It just said look for water, okay?”

“That’s the shittiest secret message ever.” Kie moved past John B.

“You wanna complain a little more, Kie? Nobody said it was gonna be easy.”

“I’ll search the northeast quadrant,” Pope started, addressing you and JJ, “you two search the northwest.”

“The decapitation quadrant?” JJ objected, and you took his arm, pulling him with you.

You scanned your area, coming up empty, then followed John B into the basement. You went in before JJ, who started singing a song about how Mrs Crain was going to kill you all.

You and Pope turned, shining your torches in his face.

“Can you stop?” You hissed, and he shut up.

You swung the torch light over the room, the broken and discarded furniture giving the room a horror-movie vibe. You’d never admit it, but you were beginning to feel creeped.

“This is the part of the movie where we get attacked by the old, half-dead blind lady.” You muttered, and JJ nodded, gesturing to you as if you had predicted the future, the others rolling their eyes.

“See any water?” Kie asked, five torches sweeping around the place. You felt a tickle on your arm and slapped, your palm coming away with the brown stain of squished insect. “Another dead end?”

JJ ran his hand on the pipes, “There’s not even water on the pipes.”

“There’s no water here.” Pope confirmed as you slapped another bug, noticing that it was a mosquito.

“Not a dropamino.” JJ continued.

“Know why we didn’t find it?” Kie piped up, “Bad karma.”

“Oh, God, here we go.” John B muttered.

“You know, we had a good thing going. And then you decide to rope in Barbie, and now the trail’s gone dry.”

“Literally,” smirked, “there’s no water.”

“Coincidence?” Kie continued as Pope and JJ sniggered, “Probably not.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t wanna tell you about Sarah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What the hell’s the deal? What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Is it because I kissed you? Is that the problem?”

Your eyes widened, your mouth forming a little ‘o’ as Kiara slapped him, JJ and Pope both calling out in surprise.

“Stop treating me like I’m some girl that’s obsessed with you instead of your best friend who’s actually trying to look out for you.”

The pair of them started bickering, slapping each other, using skeeters as excuses. You slapped your leg, seeing the brown stain of a mosquito, again.

“Why the fuck are there so many mosquitoes?” you fumed, slapping yourself again.

“Dude, I know, seriously. Tiny little vampire bats, just leave me alone.” JJ added, the pair of you slapping again, and again, and again. “Oh my gosh, can we leave? ‘Cause I’m already itchin’ to leave. Haha, punny.”

You looked at Pope, who was staring at the floor, his torch shining over it. You both stomped on the ground hearing the hollow sound as JJ tried to show you ‘Mrs Crain’s voodoo doll’. You picked up a stone, dropping it through the crack in the floorboards, and hearing the ‘plop’ as it landed in water. You and Pope scrambled, pushing the loose bits of wood out of the way to lift the board, opening up the well. Pope shone his torch down.

“Well, well, well.” he joked.

“Water great discovery.” You added.

“Great dad jokes, guys.” John B sighed.

“They built this part of the house right over it.”said Kie.

“This is where she hid the bodies.” JJ nodded.

“JJ, just stop.” You shook your head.

“No, I’m dead serious.”

“Yeah, you will be, because I’m seriously considering pushing you down that well.”

“It was never an outhouse.” JJ continued.

“She probably doesn’t even know it’s here.” Kie shrugged.

“So, we found water.” Pope looked to John B.

“We’re gonna need a really big rope.”

Tags: @tangledinsparkles @jellyfishbeansontoast @lolitstiana @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @teamnick @thoughtsofthestars @obxmxybxnk @jjmaybankswife @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @sxcretinhuman @alexa-playafricabytoto @angvelics @badwolf00593 @coloradogirl07 @mendesmaybank @jiaraendgame

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frumfrumfroo · 4 years

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I’m new here and couldn’t tell from the tone of some asks (sorry) but did you like what they did with Ben in TRoKR ? I saw the discussions abt him lacking agency in it and I 100% agree but did you personality agree w/ the passive, “things only happen to me” vibe they gave him? And second question: can u give examples of how soule’s writing was telegrsmed in TFA? Thank u for taking the time xx

Like I’ve said before, it’s exactly the kind of backstory I would have written for him/always imagined. I had expected to find out he didn’t kill the other students/fought them in self defence/it was some kind of accident or emotional overload incident in TLJ. That was where everything was pointing.

Someone this insecure and conflicted about what he’s doing, someone who prays for help to resist his loving nature and cries when he sees his dad, who is so uncomfortable with himself he is covered head to toe not even his voice unmasked, who immediately latches on to the protagonist as a kindred spirit in loneliness and needs her to know he’s not a creature and wants to help her rather than hurt her- that’s not a person who had an eyes-open, all-in fall to the dark side full of decisive action and unhindered agency.

Leia saying ‘it was Snoke’ told us from the get go we’re in a situation where he was haunted and manipulated. His subservience and rote, childish repetition of ‘the Supreme Leader is wise’ when Han tells him Snoke doesn’t care about him. The constant, ongoing contradiction of his behaviour and motives tell us he has no conviction in the cause he’s supposedly supporting. His self-harm and naked suffering in the face of his own actions, his recklessness and inability to commit to selfishness and lack of ambition tell us those aren’t qualities which drove him here. He is highly emotionally driven, there’s no tangible goal and he doesn’t have a vision of the future. So why is he on the dark side?

It’s not that things only happen to him or that he’s passive, it’s that Ben has never pursued or been comfortable with what darkness really is and that has always been obvious. He tries very, very hard and fights tooth and claw to cling to something good in the comic until all of it is in ashes- he’s not passive, but he can’t win. No one can hold out forever against that kind of relentless onslaught. That he was absolutely a victim doesn’t mean he has no agency in his later choices. He’s not absolved of responsibility. But his reluctance and victimhood only makes sense, anything else would be incongruous with TFA.

There was never pursuit of power for power’s sake from him- there’s nothing he wants that the dark side can give him, he is there literally because he felt he had nowhere else to go. I said this before TLJ even came out. He felt he could not escape it, both because of the fatalism his family unintentionally instilled in him and because Snoke convinced him none of them loved him, that he is only useful or valued as a tool. Ben is a person who doesn’t believe he has any inherent value just for himself- just Ben, he believes that he can’t be forgiven for the sin of being born a disappointment, and that everything is his fault because he’s wrong and bad no matter what he does. None of his choices feel to him like real choices, all of his options appear to have been taken from him, and he feels compelled to plunge forward on the only remaining path. The comic provided an emotionally and logically cogent explanation for exactly why he would feel that way which is completely consistent with all the implications about his past and his characterisation from the films.

As I’ve pointed out before, there’s a reason he says ‘it’s too late’ to coming home not ‘I don’t want to’. There’s a reason he says ‘what I have to do’ and ‘he (I) was weak and foolish’- there’s a reason he needs Han’s help to go through with killing his father. It’s not about what he wants (he wants to go home with his dad- he thinks he can’t), he has never felt free to make his own choices or that freedom is possible for him.

Even at his darkest he never became cruel, he never enjoyed killing or hurting people, and he totally fails to suppress his instinct to be compassionate. He has a highly developed conscience and an overflowing core of empathy he can’t seal off. That’s why he’s so miserable as he pushes himself to do things he finds abhorrent- but he thinks he has to, there’s no escape, it’s the only way. In the sequence which establishes this character, even before any layers are stripped away or the investment we naturally have in him because of who he is is revealed, one of the first things we see him do is have compassion for F/nn. Those two characters are connected and a comparison is invited- this is visual storytelling showing you that they have something in common (it will be made clear later on that Ben saw himself in F/nn and that’s why he takes his actions so personally- cognitive dissonance).

F/nn was a good person trapped in the mask of the stormtrooper by circumstances beyond his control, but he is able to reject it and reclaim his identity. Ben is a good person hounded into the mask of Kylo Ren by his family’s failure to reconcile with Vader. The crushing weight of their expectations and their total lack of faith in him combined with their lies and Snoke’s manipulation convinces him there is ‘too much Vader in him’ and that Ben Solo isn’t and never will be good enough for anyone. That his love, compassion, and selflessness are all weaknesses which will only cause both him and the galaxy further suffering.

He is the most morally sensitive person in the new gen, he is the most outward-orientated and loving. His impulse is to be selfless and helpful, but that impulse has been relentlessly punished until he mistrusts it and thinks he must repress his wrong instincts and serve a ‘greater order’ guided by someone stronger than him. He has an acute sense of the impact of his actions and he considers it (even when he loses control of his emotions, he overwhelmingly targets things rather than people and his angry threats are empty).

In contrast, Anakin (who was committed on the dark side and successfully cut himself off from his empathy for many years) was all in on the pursuit of power even when he still had good intentions. Anakin also knew that power was the foundation of the dark side and he and Palpatine would always be at odds, that some day he would overthrow him and take his place. Ben only values power out of fear, and solely primal fear not more abstract, possessive fear like Anakin’s, he wants safety. He doesn’t go to Snoke thinking he’s ever going to take his place or gain his power- he wants Snoke to give him belonging and acceptance. He’s then convinced that the ends justify the means and doing things he knows are wrong and which cause him pain are necessary because his whole life and Snoke’s machinations have set him up to believe that. He is still trying to create safety and doing what he’s convinced must be done and will be done one way or another.

Ben is a beautiful compassionate person and always has been and that is why he’s in such constant, excruciating pain trying to shut himself off from love and vulnerability. He is following Snoke’s demands and trying to kill his past to stop the pain, to kill this vulnerability and need and weakness in himself. Connection was always what he wanted most and he is trying to cut off and cauterise all of the broken, abandoned bonds of love his family has left him with. And even here, he still wants Snoke’s acceptance, Snoke’s validation and esteem. He is still pouring himself out for an other, giving everything to please someone else, the last person left who tells him it’s possible he can achieve value.

He latched on to Rey instantly when he realised they were alike and did everything possible to lift her up and spare her what he went through. He only rejected Han and Rey’s offers to come with them because he thinks their love is conditional and that small, dirty, broken Ben Solo will never be able to meet the conditions. He thinks he is a tool or an obligation to them and it’s easy to understand why he thinks that. Han couldn’t wipe away a lifetime of baggage in a few words. Rey pretends it’s about the cause, she doesn’t tell him she loves him.

He thinks he must ‘become who he was meant to be’ and that his destiny is to become a new Vader. Everyone told him that. Whether with their fear or directly with words. When he finds out the truth about his grandfather, it’s a complete confirmation of what Snoke has told him and how his parents have treated him. Luke deciding he can’t be allowed to live because it’s that inevitable is the nail in the coffin in Ben believing there’s any place for him with his family. There is nowhere for him to exist as himself, he has to be someone else, someone less weak. And in running away from himself, his legacy, and his identity he puts himself under Snoke’s thumb and Snoke can finish inculcating his worldview.

Being able to love is freedom to Ben. He is an immensely loving person who feels like he is not worthy or allowed to love people, that his love has done nothing but make things worse for everyone. The tension and repression of trying not to need or care about people is what makes him so emotionally unstable. Kylo Ren is a mask and a shield and a prison built by Ben’s hurt and anxiety but equally built by Snoke out of his boyhood fancies to control him and shape him into an instrument of pain. Ben could never have conviction in it because it is so alien to his nature. He is so fundamentally unselfish that he never coveted like Anakin eventually did, his love never became possessive or jealous, he never sold his soul for a boon, the only way he could be selfish enough to murder is out of animal fear and pain. Wanting the hurting to stop. Rationalising it post-facto with the philosophy that the ends justify the means.

He pours himself out for Snoke because there is no one else left. All he wants is the safety and acceptance that he has literally never had anywhere. Anakin received unconditional love from his mother, Obi-wan, and Padmé and was warped from giving compassion into selfishness by his fear of loss and need for control. Covetousness became his tragic flaw and thus his fall culminates in trying to kill Padmé rather than lose her. Control became so important that others ceased to matter and love became possession. Anakin (despite also being a victim of manipulation and Jedi hubris) got to make real choices, he had real options, and thus he was a villain with conviction. Ben’s attempts to take control of his life are unfocussed and mostly involve abnegation, he pushes people away instead of trying to clutch them close; his response to loss is to isolate himself not seize power to recover the lost thing by force. Ben never received unconditional love until Han’s sacrifice on the bridge and the experience immediately shatters him from his already tenuous position in the dark. The only thing keeping him from coming home after that is sunk cost and the idea that he can never be forgiven. That it was too late.

He just needed someone to show him it wasn’t.

#ben solo #this is repetitive brain vomit my apologies #I can't words any more everything is too terrible #he is a good boy though okay #the fact that he's a broken person rather than someone more inclined to dark paths doesn't lessen his redemption #he still did Very Bad Things and being convinced it was necessary or inevitable doesn't make it okay when a part of you knows it's not true #healing is the thing everyone has trouble beleiving in #and it's just as difficult to heal from misguidedness you were traumatised into as willful shittiness #maybe more so #because it feels less like a bad decision and more like you're just fucked up and can't help being fucked up #he'd still be just as redeemable if he were far more evil #but he is baby and I LOVE that about him #because there's nothing I love more than characters who are not what they appear to be #anyway reason 487389750783 he needed to live #it's not that he 'deserves' it more it's that you have to show you can recover #that you're not worthless if you can't be the perfect victim and pull yourself up by your bootstraps

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vonkarma2 · 2 years

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Also do Joanna for the analysis?

Let’s go my own oc B) she’s a side character so this may be kinda hard

My overall opinion on the character: I actually like her personality (and her design I’ve never posted any art of her I don’t think so like take my word for it I guess lol) but other aspects of her character are kinda hard to balance like I don’t want to be 100% serious like have her character directly represent real situations that we actually have bc she’s also supposed to be like a funny character who does insane things, and that has like emotional moments and an impact on the plot etc etc. So I don’t want to go too over the top with her but I also don’t want to take her too seriously and I don’t want to make her sympathetic but I don’t want to make her too like hateable that you completely hate her every scene she’s in because what I was going for with her character was that you’d start out liking her because she seems great but then every so often she’d do something terrible and it’d remind you not to trust her or whatever, which is kinda hard to do but whatever. But one thing I really like abt her character is her relationship with her son, I felt like I could umm relate to it I guess even though it’s of course not as extreme, but yeah I feel like that subplot has a lot of potential to be really interesting and sad to me.

One virtue they have: Well first of all she is a great parent she loves her son would do anything for him has helped him in many situations they are very close etc etc Ive talked abt that before though. So I want to talk about another thing umm ok one thing about her is that she is not intimidated by anyone and doesn’t let fear of consequences stop her from doing what she thinks is important like ever since she was really young she has been that way. So this has the potential to have terrible consequences considering she is a very bad person. But at least she isn’t like cowardly or whatever

One flaw they have: I’ve said this before with Joanna she’s like the best interpersonally but more broadly she’s like straight up evil. Like in that she’s willing to torture/kill people for research even when it isn’t strictly necessary just because it’s easier. She doesn’t actively enjoy it except in a morbid curiosity way she’s just able to completely shut off feeling bad for them because it’s for the sake of something she believes in. I feel like unlike many other Relesians she’s working with she doesn’t believe in cultural superiority or anything like that (whereas several of the people she works with and hates do (those same people eventually try to kill her by the way))… but she does think other governments losing their autonomy to Reles would be a good thing because she doesn’t trust their processes to be as efficient or reliable or whatever. In the end she is incredibly self righteous to the point of not trusting anyone but herself to make what she considers to be the right decisions (which is a major contrast with Lucia who doesn’t think she has the ability to impact anything and all and feels like she has no idea what to do whereas Joanna has a vision for like how the entire world should be and believes in it wholeheartedly)and also shockingly callous when it comes down to it, like she’s capable of being very compassionate and considerate when she wants to be but when it becomes inconvenient she doesn’t care at all. This is several flaws I’m sorry

Favorite moment from their arc: I like the part where she killed the king of Zeolan hell yeah get him fuck that guy. Shot him in the head let’s go. There are other moments from her arc that are better character wise or honestly more dramatic/interesting to me but this is my favorite part bc like she was almost assassinated for moving too quickly/being an unpredictable rogue element so they were honestly kind of regretting trusting her. But their attempt failed so she was like ok bitch you thought that was too fast what now. And killed him

Least favorite moment from their arc: I’m going to answer this from the perspective of like what has been the most difficult to come up with I have to say her introduction and interaction with Rocio. I have no idea how that would go it’s killing me. And because the reason for their interaction is not fleshed out well at all like the actual plot surrounding it I really have to develop that I guess

One relationship they have with another character: I guess I can only really talk abt her and Joseph so here it is. I have talked about it before though but basically he doesn’t have friends his own age in real life he was bullied at school which he also sucks at he’s very shy with people his own age, she’s close with him encourages him supports him and wants nothing but the best for him. However this closeness is eventually ruined when he finds out about various deeply fucked up things she’s been doing leaving him feeling alone and like he has to stop her somehow, and also they like live in the same place so he’s very paranoid around her. Which leads to her becoming somewhat concerned like she’s not suspicious of him at all but she is very worried especially because it just gets worse over time. Which is great because that’s yet another thing she doesn’t need since Rocio stole from her + those fuckers in the state government won’t listen to anything she says, so she’s generally pretty frustrated. Ok that’s off topic but yeah it’s important that their relationship has basically been 100% positive (although of course Joseph became more reserved as he got older, and she doesn’t like how he’s prone to wasting all day doing nothing, but that’s just typical stuff and she genuinely doesn’t mind that much) up until this point so it’s literally like the most reliable thing either of them had in their lives has been ruined. Kinda depressing he’ll be ok I swear he has other family and even to an extent friends. She won’t though

One relationship I'd like to see explored from this character: She really only interacts with 2 named characters or like has a relationship with them personally. Maybe her and Rocio because they are very similar (Rocio’s not As bad but still) but hate each other, or at least Joanna hates Rocio. So having her learn more about them could be interesting, it would definitely not change her mind though because she hates them not for who they are but for what they represent. Strangely enough her reasons for this are actually pretty reasonable like she’s right abt the wizard system being pretty fucked. So I guess she might even be able to convince Rocio of that too (<they don’t have any love for the system either they just see it as a vehicle through which to achieve their own goals).

What I would have liked to see happen with them in the media: Hmmm well besides things that I’ve already determined are going to happen I’d like to do something with what she does like right after the story which is go into hiding in a remote town or whatever forever with no hope of ever achieving her ideals. So from her perspective the world lost out on a utopian future mostly because of her actions, and even worse she can never see her son again. Which I suppose is somewhat sad but she had it coming soooo 😋😋😋 sadder for him I guess

Extra bonus opinion: I think she’s pretty funny here are some comedic aspects of her character

she loves Joseph so much her thoughts of him are as equally high priority as like her evil world domination plans

similarly to Gloria she will say whatever she wants including being incredibly rude because she doesn’t believe in dishonesty. People need to know that she does not like them and thinks they’re stupid. (

willing to kill at very little provocation

the fact that I have to work really hard not to make the end of her story too similar to Walter White. Spoilers for breaking bad I guess

#this ended up so long omg #my ocs #joanna andino #yeah but do you see what i mean like balancing serious vs comedic aspects and sympathetic vs unsympathetic moments #I definitely also don’t want to have it be like a tell not show thing like say she’s not good because she kills people #but then not actually go in depth with that and have it be like an informed trait or have it feel completely out of character #this might just be me but I hate when shows kill characters and you’re supposed to take it seriously #but they don’t put enough emphasis on the death #so it feels like it doesn’t matter yk to the characters or the media overall #and so even though it’s ofc kinda silly and it’s sci fi murder yk #I want to actually like convey the weight of the bad things she does #which is important to Joseph’s character as well

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