#tbh besides uploading random art | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neverdoingmuch · 3 years

Text

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!!

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica.

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it.

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic.

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body.

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is.

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot!

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

#mdzs #modao zushi #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #im so sorry everyone #i just got the idea and it wouldnt leave me alone #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #have i read any erotica? no. have i read any chuck tingle? also no. am i an editor? no #so this is gonna be very shit #this is why people should be sending me prompts instead of me just writin shit myself #nsfw-ish?

141 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site? Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

Do you use...

facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day? Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have? I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree? HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters? I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot? No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app? Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies? I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status? No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups? I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups? Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it? Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better? They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook? I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of? Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook? I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

What are some of your favorite boards? I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest? Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it? No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like? Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back? I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board? Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves? No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board? No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards? No.

Do you have any secret boards? No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws? No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it? Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube? I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube? These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc.

Are you subscribed to any channels? To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite? Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have? 0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!) Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos? Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube? Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube? No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video? No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube? Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube? No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber? Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot? I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram? Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram? I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers? Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet? Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day? Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys? I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys? Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards? Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite? Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here? Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here? Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next? Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys? I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys?

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school? I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now? No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace? Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile? Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace? Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor? Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics? Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages? Nope.

Did you make "dolls"? I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions? Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile? Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day? No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now? No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page? I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat? I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter? There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr? I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr? Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore? There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend? I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what? I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com? Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what? Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts? Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image? No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes? Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora? No, never used it.

#surveys #survey

1 note · View note

noblehope · 5 years

Text

give me an excuse to talk about my ocs while im inactive || accepting

below the cut!!!

This is Samba Chahadee the Ultimate Vlogger! He started out as a joke OC to be a joke MM (its just a prank bro!!), but then he chahacha’d his way into my heart along with my friends. This art was also drawn by Minnie!!!

He’s one of my favorite ocs now and while he’s a bit of a jerk, he’s not evil. He’s just a pretty normal dorky teenage boy besides some secrets he has and likes making all different kinds of videos. His channel MrSambaMan uploads on a schedule and he’s positive that he’s going to get ten million subscribers before he graduates!

Samba’s a bisexual (masc leaning) man who’s half Brazilian along with his Japanese heritage! He grew up in a bilingual household and knows Portuguese because of it, but that’s not something a lot of people are aware of. He’s moved out and has lived on his own in an apartment at an undisclosed area.

I don’t have him in any killing game nor do I really want to tbh unless I decide on this certain project for some friends? He’s complete as a character with his own story and means a lot to me as is. In a way, he’s even a comfort character! It’s amazing how attached everyone has gotten since his joke days. He’s like a completely new character.

Everything about him was randomized. We (a friend group) decided on the name Samba after seeing it pop up on a name generator, and Chahadee for his last name because it’s an anagram for headache! So yes, it’s a fake name. His vitiligo was also inspired from his original apperance that we just made from hitting the randomizer button on a dollmaker, and my friend Minnie was the one who gave him his own unique design and appearance. His ring too, which is actually just a really old mood ring that doesn’t change colors anymore, is something else carried over from the old design.

I think that’s the same reason for his beauty mark, his piercing, and his red streak in his hair but... oh man I don’t even want to pull up the og design it’s a MESS.

But yes! I love my boy Samba, he’s one of the few ocs that I have everything written out for if anyone’s curious, and he’s very funny to play. He laughs like “chahahaha” and calls his fans his chickahadees and he’s just... good. i love him and would buy his merch.

#〚》𝔾《 straight from the horse’s mouth ( out of character. ) ✧ 〛

6 notes · View notes

shaddy-bee · 7 years

Text

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful. Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it.

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

#god im #sorry #this is long #i hope its atleast somewhat enjoyable though yknow?#<3 #shaddy-online

7 notes · View notes

peanatcookies · 7 years

Text

Seeing Colours [Preview]

Words: 3522

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Angst (quite a bit tbh)

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook

Context: Artist au (inspiration can be found HERE)

A/N: wUHU the preview is finally going to be uploaded here! I’m not sure how I wrote it so fast but I suppose one can easily blame it on the exam stress, which actually made the writing of this story pretty smooth sailing. I know this sounds more like a chapter with its length (oops), but I just wanted to get a feel on how this story might flow through this very platform. :) Furthermore, the title, “Seeing Colours” is under a TBC status so if you guys have any better titles, don’t hesitate to drop me a direct message and we can talk about it! ^^ For now, sit back, relax and read away~ Enjoy!

P.S. @twoamaranth , this was all thanks to your edits. :) Thank you for letting me repost them on my Tumblr! Do check out her stuff! ^^

———————————————————

It was a typical Tuesday morning, 8am, as it was shown on my digital clock with huge green numbers. The sun was up, the birds were singing and it was a beautiful sunny day with clear blue skies and white puffy clouds. The weather forecast said there will be no rain, and the best part? It was the school holidays for the students who have spent countless hours cooped up in classrooms and homes; studying the day away and remembering facts that they will probably never use in the days to come.

Now, it was their time to have fun, see the sun and get the dose of the Vitamin D they lacked the past few months. Come back with sun-kissed skin (or even burnt for that matter), new friends and most of all, smiles exuding happiness on their faces as they recall the day to their parents and get together with the friends whom they had not seen for so long.

It is indeed a happy day. Yes, of course it was.

But not for me.

I never knew what happened to me really, but it all started back in high school with countless insults and hate comments coming my way. It was a simple secret, whom I had entrusted to a friend that it would be kept that way. I guess things were never meant to be because the cat was out of the bag three days later. People started staring, snickering, jeering and worse still, bullying.

I came back many days with a bruise or two on my torso and a spinning head from getting pushed around too much. Who knows if I even came back with broken bones? Mother always asked me what happened, and I always came up with the same reason.

“I fell. Sorry for ruining the uniform. I’ll be less clumsy next time.”

The words fell out of my mouth like a robot; like I was trained to say that. She might never have bought it but she took great care of me nevertheless, whipping up her signature ginseng chicken soup when I was down and gently tending to my wounds. I was not much of a talker, so we would sit in comfortable silence as she took care of me and made sure all was well.

She still hugged me tight, kissed me on the forehead to go to sleep and was always ever so supportive with everything that I did.

Or so I thought.

I was 19; a fresh graduate. Smiles were upon our faces as everyone took pictures; some laughing, some crying, to commemorate all the memories that they had spent together. I, however, was glad that I was out of the hell hole and that was when I met a boy named Jimin.

He was a year older, but shorter and had the chubbiest of cheeks. For some strange reason, he had the nicest body with toned abs and defined arms, but never seemed to lose any baby fat from on his face (to his utter dismay). I supposed that was what made him cute and cuddly, and someone that I was willing to spend my time with. He had a heart of gold, a positive attitude and was always there in my triumphs and trials.

We met at a coffee shop, both of us fulfilling our duties as filial children, taking up part time jobs, making drinks and dealing with the most obnoxious customers. Quick friends we were, and soon, we fell deeper than that. He was my everything at that time; workmate, soulmate and most importantly, a lover.

I brought him home and we made ourselves comfortable in my room. It was a medium sized bedroom with tiffany blue walls and it was my safe space, away from the cruelty of the world out there. We stared into each other’s eyes as we shared and laughed about our “deepest darkest secrets”.

I don’t know how laughter turned into lust, but there we were, him on top of me and kissing the life out of me. It was as if the wind had been knocked out of my lungs but it was his lips that gave me security and a love that I had never felt before.

Mother walked in, to my shock and horror, and by then, our tops were off, thrown on the floor at some random corner of the room. My stepfather came in next, and he shouted something along the lines of the fact that his son should never love another boy. He pushed Jimin away and grabbed me by the neck, which is a given that it would probably be bruised tomorrow. He asked me for an explanation but only tears and choked sobs came out of me. I could not speak but his grip only tightened, until I felt my lips turn blue and my face pale.

Jimin got up and tried to stop him, but my stepfather was too strong and he hit him hard till his lips bled. It seemed to have triggered something in him and all he did was pick up his shirt and leave, as if we never knew each other and he was a burglar who got caught red-handed.

He left my room in a huff but came back shortly after with a suitcase in his hand and those words stuck with me till this very day.

“Pack up your things and go. When I’m out of the shower, you should be out and don’t you dare step foot into this house ever again. We’ve always trusted you but you stepped all over our hearts and efforts. Be gone. You are not my son anymore.”

And that was it. I left home without a trace and cut off all contact (in fact they made sure I did) and ended up on the streets.

Cold. Tired. Hungry. Alone.

Those were the four scariest words that stuck in my head the entire time as I sat by the roadside watching the world go by. I found some spare change in my pocket, attempting to call Jimin, but the line did not get through.

And there I was again. Until a middle aged lady walked past me and took interest in me. She did not say very much, but I could tell that she took pity on me with the look in her eyes. It was a sight of sadness and perhaps slight disappointment that a youth like me was found on the streets like that.

She walked away, and I began to think that she was just like everybody else, but no. She peeked from the side of the convenience store to see whether I was still there and motioned for me to take my things and follow her. Skeptical I was, but she brought me into the convenience store and there sat a packet of chocolate milk, steaming hot ramyun and a fried chicken wing.

I stared at her in wonder, but she only motioned for me to sit beside her and eat. Sure, I did not mean to wolf down all the food but I did and she only smiled, something like what my mother used to do. It was a silent lunch, with her occasionally watching the news on the television.

I stood up to leave and apologised that I could not repay and thank her enough for her kindness towards a stranger.

“Thank you so much, and I’m sorry I cannot pay you today. I promise to pay it back someday… I-I… should probably g-get g-going…”

“Why were you out there anyway? It’s pretty uncommon for a youth like you to go around with a suitcase, or should I say duffle, outside a convenience store like this.”

And who knew what came over at me, because I told her everything.

Everything.

Where I came from, where I studied, the ups and downs in my life… You name it, I probably said it. There were no emotions and it sounded like I practically deadpanned through the monologue. The woman did not say anything; she just sat there and nodded every once in awhile in understanding. Despite the lack of response, it was pretty obvious that she was listening intently.

“I see… You know, society’s a little messed up in certain ways and I know that you were probably a smart, talented and one of the nicest boys anyone can have. It’s a pity that your parents dropped you off so easily like that, simply because you were considered to be part of the queer.”

I nodded and sighed, suddenly wondering what the hell I was thinking to be blurting all this information to a stranger that I just met 30 minutes ago.

“Oh well… Follow me then.” She stood up and offered to take my luggage for me, but I refused and took it back immediately. Fear crept into my mind and so did suspicion so I asked in doubt, “Where are we going?”

“Ah… Your new home. You’ll be living with me now I suppose. Don’t worry about the rent. It’s only right that you find some more purpose in life other than sitting in the streets and waiting around for a miracle to happen. C’mon, before it gets late, and cold too.”

Fear and suspicion stayed, but my mind kept telling me that there was going to be hope at the end of it, so I followed and we continued to make small talk along the way. Her home, according to her, was not too far off and it was easily walkable. It was almost the evening now and before I resorted to freezing my butt off, I was actually grateful that I had a lodging now.

Her name was Mrs Jung Inhye and she was in fact, from Busan, my hometown. She was under the Art Management team of the Seoul National Museum and was in charge of auctioning for works, do write ups and she also mentioned that she loved to draw in her past time. No style in particular, but she liked still life and natural phenomenons such as a sunrise or a sunset. Later, I found out that she was a relatively young widow; her husband had passed away in a work accident 3 years ago and they never had any children.

So here I was, at least according to her, and she seemed excited to actually take care of me, even if I was not her biological son that she wished to have. The more we talked, the more she reminded me about how my mother used to be; loving, caring and everything a mother should be. Till this day, I’m not sure if I held some form of bitterness but I probably did, considering the fact that I was definitely hurt when she did not stand up for me when my stepfather chased me out of the house.

It was cold then and it was as if I became a stranger in my own family home at that split second. She did not spare me a second glance and did not say a word when I left home. Sure, she was disappointed and I would understand, but I would have preferred a word from her; just so that I could have one last memory before I said goodbye.

Now, Mrs Jung’s home was a quaint and comfortable soho apartment, which was always fully furnished by the previous tenant. It was more suited for a person, considering the narrowness of the corridor and the fact that there was only one stove. And it was true; I felt like I had stepped into an artist’s mind.

The furniture was all monochrome but the things that added a splash of colour were the obvious hints that Mrs Jung was indeed a painter with a canvas stand at a corner of the room and her work (or at least most of it) was hung around her walls to give her space more of a personal touch.

“Just leave your things there, Jungkook-sshi. I will take a shower first so do make yourself at home. Sorry it’s in such a state and of course, you’re free to look around. You know, get to know me a little bit more.”

And with that she left me in the silence of her apartment as I took a seat on the floor, afraid of staining everything with my grimy clothing. I took a good look around and it was indeed what I had wished for as a student; go to a university and rent one of these personal soho apartments with a loft bed.

I could have done that. If I did not get kicked out so soon.

She came out with her hair wrapped around in a towel and once again, memories hit me of how open minded and comfortable my mother used to be, before she met my stepfather. A simple minded woman she was, who always seemed happy with the world and never saw anything wrong with it.

That was what she used to be.

I took the lukewarm shower that I had not taken in days and came out quickly, because Mrs Jung had mentioned that she wanted to have a talk with me. The questions all came with, “So Jungkook, what do you wish to become?” or “Do you have any interest in art? Or even the Performing Arts?”

Honestly, I had never thought of any of those things, and did not help that I actually came from the Hanlim School of Foreign Languages and did not have any exposure whatsoever to the local art scene for that matter. All I knew about it was that I wished that I could do it too.

She tried to help me, opening me up to all the possibilities in Seoul but I had my doubts, especially when it came to my passion. It was no longer clear, especially after whatever I had experienced, and it was probably obvious that I needed more time, given that she allowed me to take a month or two off to discover more about myself and what I really wanted to do. She did not push for it, but it was evident that she wanted me to make a decision as soon as possible.

And that was where it all began.

She taught me about art appreciation, how things came about in the art scene and little by little, I grew to like it because I could freely express however I felt and the beauty lied in the eyes of the beholder. Cringe worthy, but that was what enlightened me towards the beauty of the craft. The journey was far from easy, especially when it came to the application of art.

Coming from a school which gave no time for art, it was frustrating trying to think of anything outside the box that no artist had ever used before. Styles, techniques, content, colour -- there was so much to think about. It led to emotional outbursts and probably a pool full of tears but Mrs Jung pressed on, and taught me that if I wanted to create real art, I had to put some personal thought and feelings into the piece.

Journalling. Researching. Soul searching. And I did all those things.

Eventually, I found my calling and that was to major in art in the prestigious Korea University of the Arts. I found joy, happiness and most importantly, some form of acceptance from those who were just like me. It was bliss just creating something from one’s own talent and the true beauty lied in the fact that every art piece was never the same. We had similar themes; Lies, Deception, Society, Beauty, but all our art pieces had our own personal touch.

I came back to a loving home, where Mrs Jung constantly greeted me with a smile and a hug, always reminding me how proud she was of me pursuing something that I truly enjoyed. She knew how much effort I put in, and it touched my heart all the time, knowing that she was willing to take in a young boy like me and letting him pursue his dreams.

I wanted to gift her with my very first art piece and it was a painting of a the transition of a teenager. “He” started off as closed off, distant and unsure of the world, but he finally found purpose, happiness, all thanks to the angel he met along the path of “his” youth. She was there to talk sense into “him” when “he” wanted to carry out rash decisions and was always a gentle soul with him, accepting every bit of his being without judgement.

Once I finished, I stepped back and admired my masterpiece, reminiscing about the times where I struggled to do art, and I have come such a long way.

The serenity of the apartment was broken from the shrill ring from my phone and a strange voice answered.

“Dude! Do you know how much I had to go through to get your number?”

“U-uh,” I answered, furrowing my eyebrows a bit, “I don’t know who you are.”

“You punk, this is Kim Seokjin. Thank you very much. I can’t believe you forgot about me so quickly. I see how it is.”

And at that tone, my face lit up and my eyes widened in shock because how the hell did he get my number? I was in a different neighbourhood now, living my own life and was soon to graduate in 2 years. I was not the same Jeon Jungkook then. Definitely not.

“Hyung!!” I exclaimed, “How the hell did you get my number?”

However, his voice grew dark and serious, “I will save that story for another time. It’s not the time to talk about it now.”

“H-hyung,” I stammered, “Did something h-happen at home?”

“Promise me you won’t freak Jeon. Where are you now?”

“I’m in my apartment now…?” I answered, anxiety present in my voice.

“It’s…” He paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “Jimin’s death anniversary tomorrow. I’m sorry I had to break it to you like this, but there was no other way since I couldn’t find you----”

And with that he droned on, but I was no longer paying attention anymore. It was as if my world had shattered and the time had stopped. My knees crumpled beneath me and all I could do was stare into oblivion with shock evident in my eyes.

No. It cannot be. Jimin can’t be dead? Why would he be? He was the one who pushed me out of the closet. He brought love, encouragement and joy to all those around him. Why would he want to die anyway?

“Jeon? Jungkook-ah? Yah, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Hyung… It’s not April Fools’ Day, you know? You’re a month late. Indeed, you’ve not changed with your old Dad jokes. It’s May, you know that right? Jimin’s still alive I’m sure, I mean, he had so much to live for---”

But I was cut off from saying anymore when the only thing that came out was the sound of heavy breathing and choked sobs; fat tears rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably like a dam that had been broken. I bit my lip to hide my cries, but Seokjin probably knew better.

He always did anyway.

“Jeon, I’m sorry I did not tell you earlier. I’ll pick you up tomorrow and I will explain everything to you. Get some rest okay? I don’t think Jimin would want to see you this way. He would prefer you to live your life happily and would want the best for you. Wherever you are, he’s proud of you and I am too. Goodbye.”

And the tone to signify that the call had ended beeped away.

At that moment, the silence of the apartment became deafening, terrifying and I could hear every single detail around the house; the dripping tap, the occasional howl of the wind outside. My world started to spin, but tears still flowed out continuously and I tasted blood; probably caused from the hard biting of my lip to hold my tears back.

Black spots soon came into my vision and I tried to blink them away, but my heart continued to palpitate wildly against my chest and it hurt too much to move. It was as if my body froze and my breath started to hitch. With each passing moment, it became harder to breathe and it was as if my entire respiratory system was constricting against my will.

“Jungkook!! I’m home! By the way, I wanted to tell you that I think I met your friend-- JUNGKOOK! Oh my god, what happened to you?! Jungkook, answer me please. Stay awake darling. Come on, say something---”

I finally saw black. I stopped responding and it felt like my heart stopped beating, or at least it was slowing down.

I could not have been happier at that point, or so I thought. Death was a scary thing, yes, but I did not mind embracing it now.

2 notes · View notes