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total-drama-brainrot · 2 months

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TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽

Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.

I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.

Area 51:

Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.

I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.

When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.

Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.

The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.

Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.

Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained. (i.e. truth potion.)

Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.

Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.

Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?

Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.

Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.

The Jet:

Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.

Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.

Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.

"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.

Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.

"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."

Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.

"Does that mean you don't like Al?"

"I never said that."

"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"

Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.

"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.

"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."

Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.

He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?

"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."

And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?

The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.

"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"

What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!

Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.

Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.

#I'd like to apologise for taking this idea and running with it.#Cutting myself off here before I breach 2k+ words or else I'll be here all day.#Sort of entered actual Writing Mode at the end there instead of Outline Mode but this idea is. So Full Of Potential I couldn't help myself.#But from here it'd basically be Alejandro using his newfound knowledge of Noah's crush on him to his advantage.#Whilst Noah's doing his best (and failing) to deny that he has any feelings for Alejandro.#Eventually leading to the two of them having a Bonding Moment where Alejandro gets Noah to divulge some personal information.#And in turn- or an effort to garner some trust (to be abused later)- Alejandro also lets himself be vulnerable towards Noah.#Something something Alejandro tries to use Noah as a pawn but ends up catching feelings of his own.#Then of course the potion wears off and Noah goes back to being just as prickly and standoffish as he was before.#A point of conflict maybe? Imagine bearing your soul out to someone only for them to close themself off to you not even days afterwards.#...Also imagine being practically forced to divulge information about yourself to someone you don't trust because of a truth potion.#Oh yeah. That's some good angst material right there.#Especially is you have Alejandro be- if not fully aware- than at least suspect that Noah's not being agreeable on his own terms.#Anon why have you given me The Thoughts?? I can't keep brainstorming AUs when I already have fics to work on!!#ophe's ranting in the tags again #total drama #td noah #td alejandro #team chris is really really really really hot #alenoah #-ish #silly ideas #other's ideas #long post #replies #kinda drafty in here (posts from the drafts)

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introspectivememories · 10 months

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#god i don't remember what fic this was from #but i remember reading and thinking '...huh.'#i've read so many atwow fics recently it's insane #also the jake & spider dynamic is insane to me #wait it was from that one locorro sentinel/guide fic #back to the dynamic though #this is a kid you've seen grown up. your children call him brother. your mate calls him demon.#in the darkest corners of your heart where no one can see the depth of affection you hold for him you call him son.#you will never say this aloud. you see too much of your other self in him. he is more na'vi than you ever will be.#he knows the songs better than neteyam. his bow posture is better than lo'ak's. his weaving better than some in the clan.#kiri and him are so close you sometimes wonder where one starts and the other ends #tuk does not know a life without him. still you say nothing.#(the rda takes him and you will yourself to ignore lo'ak and kiri's pleas to go back. you ignore neteyam's heavy gaze. tuk's wails for him.#desperately you try to convince yourself that youre doing the right thing. after all it's not like hes your son right? just a family friend #you do your best to ignore the part of you that screams for your eldest son. you are unsuccessful.)#(this action will have consequences.)#jake sully #tsyeyk suli #spider socorro #spider te suli tsyeyk'itan #avatar james cameron

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dizquized · 27 days

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FOR YOUR OWN SANITY, do not look in the tags, dont do it. its not worth it. a demon possessed me or something, i dont know.

#alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #WHY IS IT LIKE HTAT #every time i see his fuckass bob i break down cry-laughing #EVERY TIME #i legit cant stop myself from just falling to the floor because his haircut is just that bad #hes supposed to be like a super powerful demon #but he chose THAT haircut???#he put all his points in Vertical and tries to fake horizontalness with his coat and also by folding himself so he's as flat as a table #he knows he is horizontally challenged #he also put all his points in 2014 uber duber scary oc #but he skipped past the haircut one #like #do you not see yourself in a mirror? do you walk past reflective surfaces eyes closed?#maybe he doesnt allow photos or videos because he saw his haircut once and he legit had no idea it was that bad #he doesnt allow photos or videos because he doesnt wanna get embarrassed more than he already has with that stupid bob #its so bad like actually #he can apparently shapeshift (unsure tho) which means that haircut was a conscious desicion #he CHOSE the “kick me!” sticky note life and he better regret it soon #anyways rant aside #yeah alastor's pretty cool #he's very fun to draw (from the front and the front only)#its honestly so fortunate that most times hes facing the camera #which is funny considering his hate for modern technology #yet he very often is facing towards the camera with his bigass smile #ok i think im going off topic oops #hazbin hotel #hazbinhotel #hazbin alastor

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cruelsister-moved2 · 6 months

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i honestly think one thing gentile non-palestinian leftists need to do urgently is eradicate the idea from your mind that zionism is somehow good for jewish people. we pay lip service to the fact that antizionism isn't antisemitism, that jewish people aren't inherently associated with the state of israel, even that israel doesn't keep jews safe; yet the subtle implication that jews ultimately benefit from zionism creeps into our arguments.

zionism has fostered fundamentalism and pushed jewish communities globally to the right, marginalised and outright erased disaporic cultures, and has contributed to the near-disappearance of entire judaic languages. the zionist project exacerbates antisemitism and then warps discussions of it, encouraging the same dual-loyalty myths and racialised categorisation that were popular in nazi germany. it courts antisemitic christian fundamentalists who fund it because of their apocalyptic beliefs which ultimately involve the annihilation or conversion of all jews, and provides a smokescreen for antisemites who want to push jews from their own countries. and it isolates, incriminates, silences, and arrests the many, many jews who speak out against it.

i don't say this to try and decentre palestinian suffering at this time, hence why this isn't directed at palestinians, but i think it's incredibly important for the integrity of our arguments to recognise unequivocally that zionism is not beneficial to jewish people either.

#I specify non palestinian because whilst I firmly believe the above #i also completely understand watching your family be murdered and thinking well at least #if I was jewish this specific thing wouldn't be happening to me right now #also israel is no more good for the average israeli than the USA for the average American #with all the varieties of racial privilege contained therein #like for the average person it's not really a privilege to live in a settler state lurching into fascism #but I feel like a lot of people are sort of like #you know the whole 'well you don't get to kill people to keep yourself safe'#and while that's TRUE it also feels like amiss to not address it when you aren't even making yourself safe either #anyway I hope it's clear that im saying this not as a whataboutism but pointing out a rhetorical pitfall here #because it's utterly pointless to fall into some argument of 'are jews or palestinians more deserving of safety'#zionism is the answer to neither. case closed. hope that helps

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lostxmelody · 3 months

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character sheets for this fic (1/2)

#milgram #milgram fanart #kayano mikoto #kajiyama fuuta #mukuhara kazui #this fic is mikofuu but its not the focus #anyway. some details:#fuuta puts tape over his cameras #kazuis hair is a combo between his t1 and t2 style bc i couldnt decide which i liked more lol #also ngfl his hands came out so nice i peaked there fr #mikoto has three piercings #fuuta's hair is slightly shorter than canon deliberately. he cleaned up a bit #still wears the ugliest socks known to man #anything else u gotta look for yourself im not listing all this #lxm fanart #actually dont look that closely you'll probably find errors

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thatonegayship · 7 months

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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

#billdip #I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace #hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️#sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class #and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd #all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan #honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss #You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits #it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan #i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into #that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them #i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠#sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself #and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch #I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit #Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship

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jacksmusesdrv3 · 17 days

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I know I've twisted myself into a goddamn pretzel the past five or so years trying not to be 'too much' and backing off when I am

but

A good deal of why I started the #dr literacy tag is precisely because of this- I am beyond tired and fed up, with the kinds of things that people have ignored and left on my back- whether it's to do with Kokichi, or V3 overall. It's easy to deflect and call me 'delusional', and five years later never even consider the implications of having called me that over what I've been trying to grapple with, much less apologise to me sincerely and genuinely try to understand where I'm coming from and why it's so hard to discuss in the first place- not to mention why it's so easy to make mistakes not least because the way Kodaka plays with themes can be decidedly insensitive (and I was clearly out of my depth with that when I started this blog)

This isn't about all of you. A good number of people here have been wonderful about this, even if they don't understand all too well. But frankly such people are the exception rather than the rule, and the rule is that people don't bother to interrogate their own biases about Kokichi, or really grapple with the way him and V3's narrative might be constructed with bias. And this unwillingness to accept ambiguity and nuance results in some genuinely hurtful behaviour towards people who try to point out that, maybe, not everything was even his fault, or that his character and situation is far more layered than it appears on a first run of the game. Or even a second, or third.

So I'm gonna need people in that camp to swear that you'll do better about this going forward. No really. This situation I've been in didn't come out of nowhere, and while I've beaten the proverbial horse to death that I haven't always been fair or reasonable either, that does not mean I should just back myself into a wall and take the status quo that is 'Tsumugi is telling the truth and Kokichi is just a clown' as a 'fact of canon'. Because there's a very good chance that that might not even be true, and that there's even more tangled messes Kodaka left in the text to unpack that you never even thought of, and that really NEED extra care and nuance to fully understand.

I know you're probably sick of hearing this from me by now. But this is an issue that can never be helped until it's faced head on, and the effect of basically being pathologised over it (due to *checks notes* autism), is seriously damaging- the inability of people to address things as serious issues and themes rather than 'just the pet theory that came out of my nutty head', is something I cannot, on principle, force myself to accept. So please just think about the way you're approaching issues in the future. I will try to do the same.

#kokichi ouma #dr literacy #general fandom #no for real #I literally had someone tell me verbatim #'back away from the keyboard there's enough autism out here'#one of the friends of the person who called me 'delusional'#as if 'gullible' (while still wrong) was even CLOSE to that level #I'm not gonna stop being annoying about this it was WRONG #it was WRONG and I did NOT have to deal with the aftermath #of being cast as 'crazy and delusional' over things I did wrong #and over things that you didn't WANT to question in yourself #over how YOU were treating Kokichi and fans of him #who thought DIFFERENTLY about his actions than you #actions that we do not even SEE all of for that matter #just Own Up.#own up and do BETTER. peace #i just want to close this book but it never stop affecting me #and Idk if the person responsible for a lot of this will see it #but it's worth a shot anyway #again sorry the long rant #dangan salt team #ableism #Again.

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starculler · 2 months

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strap in for this week's fic flavor: the failsafe episode of season one of the young justice cartoon except the simulation just won't. fuckin. end.

(fics that inspired this at the end)

If I ever did sit down to make my own fic, I'd split it in 3 parts:

The Simulation: bits and pieces of the 40 years Dick lives after most everyone he knows has died

The Return: the immediate aftermath and healing from the trauma of having not-quite-actually lived a whole life only to wake up and find out it was all fake. nothing traumatizing about that whatsoever.

The Unintended Consequence: aka the twist I'd love to add and would hint to in the second part - finding out the simulation, through martian mind fuckery, pulled from the real world (and in many cases, from real minds). Dick meets a bunch of people he didn't think were real outside the confines of his simulated life. A bunch of rowdy, heroism-inclined teens across the years get to meet the sibling/friend/mentor figure they all dreamed up one night.

(actual idea snippets under the cut)

Dick Grayson is 14 and most of the world's heroes have died. He planned a suicide mission that left him the sole survivor of a doomed team he helped found. The invasion may have been stopped, but is this really the price he wanted to pay?

The first face he sees in the infirmary is Roy's, and he has to close his eyes and just breathe for a few minutes because for one painful moment he'd thought it was Wally. But this isn't the world where his best friend miraculously survived alongside him. This is the one where he got his best friend killed and didn't even give him the courtesy of following behind him. Behind them.

Dick Grayson is 27 and has lived longer without Bruce than with him. The invasion's anniversary is always a tough day for him, but that morning seems especially harrowing. He'll get shit for it later, but can't resist stepping out onto the balcony of the manor's master bedroom (Bruce's old bedroom) for a smoke -- his first since he'd promised to quit if Jason, just 15 then, did too.

"Bad habits tend to pile up," he'd said, a rueful quirk to his tired grin. He'd tapped the cigarette twice on the railing and added, lower, "and this one's especially nasty, huh."

He inhales, watches the sun creep across the horizon, and lets acrid smoke burn through his lungs for a long moment before blowing it out in a small cloud. His eyes water, but he doesn't cough. It tastes just as bad as it did the first time he smoked one, not even a year after the invasion and treading water as Robin proved insufficient.

There hadn't been enough heroes to go around then, and Dick had been trained by one of the best. It hadn't been fair, but it had been his plan that had ultimately stopped the invasion. His shoulders everyone's expectations fell on.

He takes another drag, then smudges the lit end against the rail he's leaned on when he hears a boot scuff purposefully against the roofing above him.

"Todd and Pennyworth will be upset with you."

He doesn't turn around. Damian doesn't jump down to join him.

Dick Grayson is 54 and wakes up in a room full of ghosts. He hears his long-dead father-figure tell his long-dead team about a simulation they weren't meant to win. A training exercise gone wrong and only half a day spent under their mentors' careful, if slightly panicked, supervision.

He looks at his hands, watching the way his gloves crease when he flexes them in and out of tight fists. He looks at his team, their eyes a little haunted but shoulders slumped with relief even as they grumble. Batman's heavy, gloved hand settles on his shoulder and the weight of it is a nauseating mix of foreign-familiar.

He opens his mouth. Closes it.

Tears prick his eyes behind his domino mask, and he tells himself the suffocating, acidic void building in his chest is just some leftover side effect of the ordeal and not the grief-guilt of outliving yet another family (no matter that they hadn't been real in the end).

Dick Grayson is 16-going-on-56 and well used to the coincidences piling up between his simulated life and the real thing. Some of it -- missions and villains he remembers cropping up -- he's marked for Bruce to review and sort as he pleases. Some -- security for the cave, team building anecdotes, and training regimens -- he's shared with the team. And some he keeps only for himself.

Tim is one of those. He knows it's not fair to the kid (so much smaller now than he ever was when Dick lived his simulated life), but he can't help being selfish just for this. Tim is the one kid he's sure he didn't make up, and if Dick's taken to babysitting the kid just to be near at least one member of the family he built for himself in the wake of the worst days of his life .... Well, anyone who says shit about it can happily stand in line to have their teeth kicked in.

Despite this, it still catches him off-guard when he sees a familiar face pop up in one of Bruce's reports.

Jason Todd, caught boosting tires off the batmobile, is nearly the same age now as he was when Dick met him. He stares at the words, but none of them really sink in beyond the kid's name and address. He's moving before he's even made the decision.

He's used to the world kicking him when he's down - lived it for 40 frustrating years. But he has Bruce again. And things with Tim have been so good. And he's always been selfish when it comes to family. If he could just see Jason. If he could just meet him. If he could talk to him.

If if if if if--

Inspirations:

Circles in Shattered Mirrors by InfinityIllusion

Fine (But Not Okay) by CharlotteDaBookworm

Verisimilitude by mutemelody

#young justice #young justice cartoon #batfam #batman #dick grayson #thoughts and headcanons #the heart wrenching inability to cope with the fact that you've lived a fully realized life #you've loved and lost and loved again in the face of every unending tragedy #until you've forcefully carved out this one little safe haven for yourself #only to be thrust back to the beginning of one of your greatest traumas - esp one you're partly responsible for!#gotta love it #anyway i am and always have been obsessed with dick grayson and no one can stop me #the simulation was fake but some psychic bs means real world elements filtered in #cue several children with weird dream-memories of half-lived experiences and a massive sense of deja-vu #when they wade into the superhero world #all i can picture is the spiderman pointing meme but it's the batkids at dick lol #my favorite idea is that once Dick gets his grubby hands on Jason and Tim it's all over from there #he's pulling late nights and researching and scouring facial recognition databases until he finds his kids #(he blurs the lines a lot when it comes to considering them his siblings vs kids #on the one hand they're not super far apart in age bar Damian #on the other he hasn't been a kid in any meaningful way since he was 14 and he very nearly raised half of them in some way #(plus side to an au is that i can space the ages out more as needed compared to the show haha)#jason and cass are firmly siblings close as they are to his age #steph tim and duke fluctuate depending on how in trouble or injured they are #i will die by dick being damian's dad tho lmao #babs is more platonic life partner than sibling but very firmly family regardless #this is the dick grabs on to any shred of family he can with both hands and drags them in kicking and screaming if he has to au

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bizarrelittlemew · 3 months

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i wish i could hide individual posts on twitter like sometimes people i like post my gifs (other than the ones i've posted here for everyone to use freely) and i have no more fight in me left to ask people to credit because people over there have been hostile about it (so like, even when the poster is nice about it, i've had "popular" accounts jumping in on conversations they weren't part of to try and claim that crediting other fans for their work was "unreasonable", and in the first place it's pretty 50/50 whether people respond reasonably and add credit or if they ignore and mute/block me so they can continue stealing my gifs without me being sooooo mean and unreasonable and linking to the source i guess) and it's someone i don't wanna unfollow or mute but it just drains my spirit to see that post you know. please let me know if there is a thing like xkit on tumblr that works for hiding individual twitter posts

#🐭📓#like when the “big” accounts have this attitude it's an uphill battle trying to get people to credit gifmakers #the entitlement is so strong #i also wish i could follow more people but more often than not i go to someone's profile bc they seem cool #and the first thing i see are stolen gifs. often my own. so nah #and it's so stupid like people seem to realize that you need to credit fanart videos and edits but why are gifs the exception?#they're also edits they just move. and screenshotting them (lol) doesn't remove the editing either #the default should be to credit if you didn't make it yourself. not just if people ask #anyway i already felt like all ability to write has been drained from me and now i'm closing PS too and i will just. crawl back into bed ig #delete later #but please let me know if like a script or extension exists for hiding individual twitter posts

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biblicalhorror · 1 year

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#the last of us #tlou #'love is destruction' no #love can be blinding. our care for one another can cause us to forget our duty to protect our communities. but love is healing.#love is all we have. to close yourself off from love is to close yourself off from life itself.#'episode 8 is about how men are scarier than monsters' no.#ep 8 is about how easy it is for dangerous people to put themselves in positions of power if we let them convince us #of their inherent virtue due to proximity to things like religion #& to be wary of someone that pays lip service to goodness while showing you thru their actions that they're really after power/domination #i am so tired of these stupid ass takes #there are so many layers to each episode and literally so much of the discussion im seeing that isnt just 'joel sexy' is so surface level #dig in!! theres so much there!!#but if i see one more take thats like 'this episode is about how men are scarier than zombies 😔' im gonna scream #sorry i know im being a hater lmao #spoilers

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strangerwheelerthings · 9 months

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I just read youe post about the way Robin and Nancy look at each other in s4 and come to lean on each other. You ever think about how as they start finding strength in each other's company that that they might feel trepidation about their own feelings? Robin bc obv she doesn't want a repeat of the Tammy->Steve situation (when from her pov that's probably what's happening) and for Nancy because she's still carrying around guilt for Barb (which is so recently refreshed when she presumably also thinks she got Fred killed) and I think you can see incredible concern in her eyes when she looks at Robin in Henry's lair in ep9.

Trepidation is an early ronance’s middle name. It’s actually one of the aspects I love to have explored in fics (because I’m a sucker for angst). Robin has plenty of reasons to be hesitant and worried about a crush on Nancy. They are living in a small town in the 80’s being the first and foremost. However, your point about the Tammy and Nancy parallels is completely accurate and valid. Nancy is literally well known around Hawkins High for her romance drama with two boys; not really a lot of reason for Robin to hope that she’s queer in the first place. My ronance!headcanon is that this is the reason Robin continues to keep all her hopes on Vickie in the end, because there appears (at first glance) to be more hope for reciprocation and she’s already a little less invested in Vickie and therefore there’s less risk.

Nancy (whether bi or lesbian) is the epitome of compulsory heterosexuality. This girl could have the biggest crush in the world (she does), but it would take her a while to admit it to herself fully. You’re right, Nancy’s trepidation would be entirely focused on her trauma surrounding friendship and death, during the season. Nancy hasn’t really had an actual friend outside of Jonathan since Barb. Even before Barb, Nancy wasn’t the kind of person who is good at making friends, then you add a ton of trauma on top of that? Yeah, it would be a swirling pit of anxiety within her. Vecna activated every trigger in season four through murdering Fred while Nancy had brought him out somewhere, showing her Barb’s body and guilt tripping her, and then actively threatening all her living loved ones with gruesome deaths. All this is happening right at the same time as her developing friendship with Robin.

The thing about both Robin and Nancy is that they don’t have a lot of secure relationships. Neither of them have great family lives, and their histories with friendships are not amazing. Both of them are literally making their second real friend in years (if you include Jonathan) in season four. As they grow to like and rely on each other, so too does their anxiety surrounding the relationship. They are starting to put trust in the other, but that gets so much harder once you’ve established an actual friendship with someone, that’s when you have to fight not to withdraw to protect yourself.

Both of them have their own self-protective coping mechanisms. Robin’s is more barbed wire while Nancy’s is closer to a thick brick wall, but what’s interesting is that I think they’d both be especially good at overcoming the other’s barrier. In just the first couple days of knowing each other, Robin has already proven herself to be a safer person to give her thoughts and ideas to than anyone Nancy’s ever encountered before. Meanwhile Nancy keeps choosing Robin even though she’s already seen Robin at her most anxious and clumsy, and she seems to be so calm in the face of the strange and weird.

#this response is a little all over the place #but it led to some interesting thoughts for myself so thank you #i really want to read a directly post s4 fic right now that goes into this stuff #I feel like both of them will feel the desire to pull away a bit after all the dangers over #like I said once someone with previous relationship trauma gets close to someone the harder it is to stay sometimes and not pull back #to both protect yourself and to almost subconsciously test their response #the issue is that if both of them do that #then it gets so much harder to keep the friendship #so they might need another catalyst to convince them of the safety of the relationship after the trauma bonding is over and the excuses #are gone #but! Nancy is the one most likely to continue to reach out #she holds tight onto people once she considers them 'hers' and loves them fiercely #not that robin wouldn't love back just as fiercely #but her trauma is more of the traditional relationship drama kind than Nancy's #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance #stranger things #st

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kaurwreck · 11 hours

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you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.

If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.

But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.

Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.

But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.

And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.

(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)

If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.

It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.

There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.

This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.

So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.

tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.

#i dont mean to soapbox #or pretend i dont still struggle to let go of constructs that arent serving me #but i HAVE let go of so many #and people dont always understand or appreciate or like what im doing #or that what i have is more than it is or that it's easy or that im doing more than i am #and like without discounting luck and privilege and opportunities #i wouldnt have most of what i love and what is good about my life and mental health if not for conscious and discernible choices i made #not even really on faith so much as i have a version of atsushi's tiger in my own psyche that drags me forward #(literally reading 55 minutes was surreal because a passage is so close to things my mental health team have told me)#BUT #even then #there were choices i had to make to move forward rather than be dragged painfully #and there were times i didnt make the choices i should have #and i carried those not as burdens but as resolve to make the next right choice #because as overwhelming as choice can be #it's also really forigiving #so anyway yeah you can decide shit for yourself #and the more you decide you have choices. the more choices you have. because it's also a choice to decide there arent any at all #the choices arent always GOOD choices. but theres a kernal of agency. not to taunt you or punish you.#but to offer you again and again opportunities to make choices that you can live with

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