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thesunisatangerine · 2 months

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playing for keeps – chapter two

alexia putellas x barçakeeper!childhoodfriend!reader

warnings: coarse language, brief mentions of grief

(a/n in the tags) [chapters: one, two]

word count: 10.2k

[1]

A shiver ran down your spine in spite of the sun’s anger that bored down on you.

You wiped your free hand on your jersey but sweat clung to your hand like glue, yet your fingers remained cold, even the ones on the hand your mother was holding. It didn’t help that your gut had coiled into a knot that you couldn’t loosen; you’d breathed deeply, you’d counted backwards from ten… and still, it remained there.

What was it about this that scared you so much?

The fear sprung in you the moment you stepped foot out of your home, growing the more you got closer, and now that you and your mother were walking across the parking lot to the building, it threatened to claw its way up your throat. And that was something you really didn’t want to happen.

You gripped your mother’s hand tighter. She gazed down at you with a soft look, giving your hand a slight, reassuring squeeze, and that was enough to ease that feeling a little bit.

The door creaked long and loud when your mother pushed it open, reminding you of that old, unused shed by the garden at home that made the same sound when you entered it, and it reverberated against the walls. No one was inside except for an empty desk in front of a wall with chipped, white paint. Just beside that, there was a corridor lined with a few doors, some of which were opened. And at the end of it there was an opening that led to the sunlit grasses of the outside.

At the sound, the head of a woman popped out from one of the open doors. The woman came out, a water bottle in hand which she set on the desk, and she greeted you and your mother with a friendly smile. Even still, you took a step back and hid behind your mother.

“Hello! I’m sorry for making you wait! How can I help you?”

“No need to apologize, we just came in.” Your mother laughed as she waved a hand in the air. “My daughter is actually here for her first day of training with the club.”

“Oh, is she?” The woman gasped and clapped her hands together in delight. She beamed down at you and stooped low to offer her hand out, and then she cooed, “Hello, love, I’m Teresa.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you took her hand and shook it, telling her your name in a whisper. Teresa smiled at you again before she straightened her back.

“I’m so glad you got here just then. We don’t usually get people around this time so we tend to lock the front door, and I was about to head out back to bring the girls some water.” She explained to your mother and then she gazed back down at you again. “Are you excited to meet the girls?”

At your silence, your mother answered for you, “She is, it was all she could talk about. She’s just a bit shy.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that, love. The girls are just as lovely. Will you be joining us?”

“Are parents allowed to stay?” When Teresa nodded with a hum, your mother continued, “I see. Perhaps another time. I have somewhere to be.”

“We could schedule for another time.” Teresa nodded in understanding before she regarded you again, “Now, shall we meet everyone?”

Fear rose in you again and your eyes darted to your mother’s. There, you found an encouraging light that grounded you and without really intending to, you agreed with Teresa. Shortly after, your mother left but not before she told you, “Now, my little firecracker, you behave yourself. And remember, have fun and show them what you’re made of.”

Something akin to fire lit up in your chest at your mother’s words, and its warmth spread all the way to your fingers and toes. It was a soothing calm similar to the one you’d get from a cup of warm milk and honey in winter. And when she pressed a goodbye kiss on your forehead, a sense of safety blanketed over you even long after she’d left.

Teresa took your hand after she locked the front door, and occupied the other with holding the rack of water bottles, and she led you down the corridor. As you passed through, it became clear just how tiny the facility actually was but it held everything that you needed; Teresa had pointed and named the areas with a jut of her chin: the toilets were here, the nurse bay just beside it, and the lunch room was just across.

“It isn’t much but it’s home for the club.” Teresa smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. And her eyes were clouded with an emotion that made you feel a sudden urge to hug her. The emotion passed quickly and in the next moment, you found yourself surrounded by heat as you stepped down a threshold that led you outside.

Squinting and putting your free hand over your eyes, the sight of the field came into focus. It was surrounded by a metal, wire fence, and its entrance opened up at the end of this path you were on to the middle of the nearest sideline. Through the fence, girls of seemingly different ages ran about in one half of the field, shouting and laughing as they passed balls to each other. And you found your nerves returning but it was soon replaced by giddy anticipation.

You and Teresa were close enough now that your presence drew the attention of the girls. Upon catching the sight of you, they stopped and stared. And even from a good distance away, the weight of their eyes pressed on you and heat rose to your cheeks again.

A shout and a clap made the girls whip their heads–as well as your own–towards the direction of the sound. It came from a woman who said something to the girls you were too far to hear, but by the end of it, the girls resumed their training as if they never stopped.

From the lack of attention, you sighed out a breath.

Then the woman began her way to the sideline just as you and Teresa arrived there. Teresa set the water bottle rack down by her feet while your eyes wandered over from the walking woman to the other girls. For the most part, they all looked the same age and height, but a few towered over the rest with their great build and height, and that did nothing to quell your brewing fear. There was only one girl that was smaller than everyone else, younger too, whose height looked to be similar to yours.

The girl was last in the line she queued for and as she stood there waiting for the ball, she had her head turned over her shoulders to look at you. She had short hair held back by a headband, and her shirt ballooned at the waistband of her shorts, which fell all the way down to her knees. Instead of fear, an urge to greet her rose in you, but as you raised your hand to wave at her, she whipped her head back to the front just in time to receive the next ball that was passed to her.

“Ah! Our new addition to the family is finally here!”

The exclamation had you turning yours to the front, and you found the woman there with both hands planted on her hips. She towered over you–like most adults did but she was taller than most–and the angle made the fine lines around the corners of her eyes and lips look deeper from the harsh sunlight. Her blue eyes were light, inviting and warm, and they held a calming force that reminded you of your mother’s. When she stuck out her hand, you noted the way her skin clung to the surface of her flesh, almost translucent in the sun, but you found yourself unafraid to shake it immediately.

“Welcome to Sabadell Girls’ Football. My name is Catalina but you may call me Madam Cata. Remind me again, how old are you, little one?”

“I just turned eight.” You said, and you nearly forgot to add, “Madam.”

Madam Cata’s smile brightened and, to your surprise, she let out a small laugh. At her amusement, you found yourself smiling, too.

“Very young, indeed. Well then, I’ll take you from Teresa to meet the rest of the girls.”

Your heart jumped at the thought and you turned to Teresa. She must've seen a hint of your apprehension because she gave you a soft, encouraging smile and said, “You’ll be just fine. You’ll see.”

Somehow, you believed her. So you nodded and thanked her, and with another smile and a wave of her hand, she left you with Madam Cata who began to lead you away with a gentle hand against your back.

After you’d crossed the small distance from the sideline to the middle of the field, Madam Cata called out to the girls. They gathered and now that they were closer, your shoulders curled inwards under the weight of their stares, and you kept your eyes down at the red laces of your boots, which your cheeks and ears probably resembled now as they heated from the attention.

You felt the weight of Madam Cata’s hand on your shoulder.

She was smiling at you and then she said softly, “Don’t be afraid, little one. These are your friends and sisters. Go on. Tell them your name.”

Finally, you looked at the girls. And as if drawn by a force, your attention immediately locked on that girl, and for reasons you couldn’t quite explain, a sense of calm washed over you.

The girl stared at you like the others did, but it was different. It wasn’t a look you found to be negative, more curious and attentive. Her head was tilted slightly to the side as if the change in angle would help her figure you out. She wasn’t quite smiling or frowning; she impressed you with a leveled attitude, an expression you typically saw on people who were significantly older than you, and you were surprised to see such a face worn by someone as young as the both of you.

Her eyes traced an invisible path along your face all the way down to your boots. She was sizing you up, you knew this. You’d played enough games at recess and after school to know how kids scrutinized each other for weaknesses, but you felt it wasn’t the same with this girl. Her gaze was more appraising than critical, as if she was imagining how you would affect the team. You could almost see her calculations playing like a movie above her head and you barely stopped yourself from giggling at the image.

She must’ve seen your amusement because she straightened her head in attention, and her brows knitted to a slight frown. The change should’ve given you grief but it only made you all the more interested to get to know her for reasons you couldn’t quite understand. There was just something about this girl… something that you wanted to discover. And so, right there and then, you decided that you were going to befriend her.

Feeling a bit better, you finally introduced yourself with a wave to the others before you locked your gaze on the girl again.

The girl’s frown deepened.

Your smile widened.

“Now, girls, introduce yourselves.” Said Madam Cata.

And so they did.

A couple of the older girls gave you a smirk that reminded you of the older cousins you’d see at family gatherings, or the boys at school who thought you were easy picking whenever you played with them. The rest looked friendly and introduced themselves with a pleasant smile and a wave.

It was the girl’s turn now.

“Hi. I’m Alexia and I play as a midfielder.”

Alexia. Somehow, the name suited her just right, like she was born to be one. The fact that she was the only one who stated their position wasn’t lost to you. It was an assertion–a claim–and this again should’ve intimidated you but it only made you smile.

Now that introductions were done, the girls dispersed as per Madam Cata’s instructions.

“Alexia. Come here, my child.” Madam Cata called out which stopped Alexia from running away with the rest. She froze midstep, her eyes darting to you then back to Madam Cata, before she reluctantly turned and shuffled until she was beside the woman.

“Seeing as the both of you are the closest in age, Alexia, I’d like you to make her feel welcomed.” Madam Cata began, placing a hand on Alexia’s shoulder, and then she continued, “You two are the youngest in the club and I have high hopes that you two will become friends.”

Madam Cata smiled at you, then to Alexia. “What do you say, Alexia?”

Alexia said nothing and only stared at you. You stood your ground and stared back, waiting for Alexia’s move. In this moment, doubt crept in and your resolve wavered. Were you mistaken? Did she really not like you? She hasn’t even given you the chance, yet… You thought in disappointment.

And then Alexia, instead of replying to Madam Cata, stuck out her open hand to you. “Let’s go?”

You couldn’t help it. You grinned.

Giving Madam Cata one last look, you took Alexia’s hand. It was sweaty and warm, and her grip was gentle. And then she was pulling you forward, easing you both in a run. And as you took off hand-in-hand across the yellowing grass of the field, Alexia turned her head to you and a tentative smile crinkled the corner of her lips, and you found the rest of your worries melting away.

You squeezed her hand, smiling.

And, this was the best part:

She squeezed your hand back.

[2]

By the end of the day, Alexia’d introduced you to everyone, and all the other girls had warmed up to you, including the ones who’d intimidated you at first. Alexia may be young, but you saw how the other girls respected her. Despite this, Alexia remained sincere and kind, and this fact made your admiration for her grow

Training-wise, Madam Cata separated you from the rest at first, testing your stamina and evaluating your technical skills before she eventually let you join in on the 7-a-side matches that ended today’s training. You were slightly disappointed that you didn’t end up on the same team as Alexia, but it was fun defending against her. To your surprise, it didn’t even bother you that your team lost. Maybe it was because you got to witness Alexia shoot the winning goal, but of course you kept that information to yourself. It was late afternoon when you finished, and all the other girls had been taken home by their parents, except for you two.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait inside, girls?” Miss Teresa called out from the front door.

Alexia shook her head to answer for the both of you.

“We’re fine here, thank you.”

“Alright. Just stay in sight, okay?”

The both of you called out in agreement and finally satisfied, Miss Teresa returned back to her desk. There were two large trees that flanked the path towards the front door, and under their shade were benches built to wrap around their bases. Under one of those trees, you and Alexia waited for your parents to pick you up.

You kicked your feet in the air as they hung from the bench, relishing the way the cool breeze soothed the heat around the new bruise you got on your shin.

“The bruise is getting bigger.” Alexia muttered. She’d taken off her headband and you noticed how short her hair actually was; only the front had enough length to fall over her face, parting in the middle to reveal her eyes. Apples were high in her cheeks and the remaining sunlight that filtered through the leaves played on her skin, and made her hazel eyes look lighter, almost green. She twisted her fingers as her lips curled into a regretful pout. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kick you.”

“Hey, come on, it was a game. It’s fine.” When the pout didn’t leave her face, you knocked your knee against hers and added, “It looks kinda cool, don’t you think?”

At that, an amused smile replaced Alexia’s pout. “Only you would think a bruise looks cool.”

“I’m different like that.”

“Sure, you are.”

“I am. Why else are you talking to me?”

Alexia rolled her eyes and then she laughed.

“What time are you getting picked up?”

You looked at your watch.

“My mom should be here any minute now. What about yours?”

“Soon as well,” Alexia answered after she peeked at your watch. And then, she asked, “Do you live nearby?”

“No, I live in Mollet.”

Alexia squeaked and at the sound, you looked at her and found her eyes were delightfully wide with surprise. “You do? I do, too!”

“Really?” You gasped, mirroring her in your excitement. Elation filled you at the prospect of Alexia living so close. Imagine the sleepovers, the after school football games! “Where do you live? What school do you go to?”

But when Alexia answered you and you recognised that the places she named were on the other side of town, you pouted in disappointment. When Alexia asked you what your face was about, you told her where you lived and your school, and then Alexia started pouting, too.

“I wish we lived closer. We could play football after school!”

“Yeah! And you could stay over! Or maybe I could?” Alexia whined. “Why do you have to live on the other side of town?”

“If I could drive a car, I would come over all the time!” You imitated holding a steering wheel, and you blew air through your lips, imitating an engine.

Alexia slapped your arm, laughing. “Are you speeding? That’s illegal! If you drive like that, I’ll never get in the same car as you!”

“Fine,” you sighed dramatically. “I won’t speed just for you.”

“That’s comforting.” Alexia quipped dryly. “No, but I’m serious. I’ll ask my parents if I could stay the night some time. You should do the same!”

“I will. My parents will probably say yes as long as your parents are alright with it.”

The sound of gravel being disturbed drew both of your attention. A car and a truck parked in the space in front of you, and you recognised the car to be your mom’s.

“My mom’s here. Is your–”

“Papá!”

Alexia jumped out of her seat and ran towards the other car, a truck, whose door opened to reveal a man, Alexia’s father. He was tall, like really tall, towering over the truck next to him. He had long, loose gray pants on that stretched all the way up to his chest; the upper part reminded you of a bib, and the white shirt beneath was covered with what you supposed to be car oil—your own father had come into the house with the strange scent and feel of it enough times for you to know the look of it from a distance. There was some of it on his cheeks as well, but Alexia didn’t seem to be bothered by it, for she immediately jumped into his arms, and he, with a cheerful laugh, lifted his daughter up with a small grunt.

You smiled at the sight.

Seeing as Alexia’d gone to her father, you went ahead and did the same, jumping off the bench to meet your mother as she got out of her own car.

“How was your day, my little firecracker?” Your mother asked after she’d greeted you with a kiss on your cheek, running her hands over your forehead and temple to wipe away the remaining sweat there.

“It was really good, Mamá! I made a friend! She’s over there. Look!”

In your excitement, you tugged on your mother’s hand and pointed her over to where Alexia and her father were, only to find Alexia doing the same with her father.

Your mother laughed. “I see you’re very much alike, the two of you.”

And then, your mother waved at Alexia’s father, who waved back, before she began to walk over where they were, and you trailed behind her. She was probably going to talk to Alexia’s father, and you were excited to spend just a little more time with Alexia.

Alexia shoved her bag inside the truck before she ran to you. When she stopped right beside you and looped her arm around yours, you told her, “Your father’s so tall.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Alexia beamed at you, pride in her voice as she looked at her father. “Is your father tall?”

“Yes, but not as tall as your dad.” And then a thought struck you as you looked back at Alexia. There was Alexia’s father, and here was Alexia. “You know, you look like your father.”

“Yeah, I know. People say it all the time.”

“And you don’t get sick of it?”

She looked at you with a confused frown. “No, why would I be?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I’m not really sure why I asked that.”

Alexia just smiled at you and asked, lowering her voice with mischief. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

She’d begun to shuffle forward, taking you along with her because of your linked arms, and now you could hear their conversation.

“–you and your family come over for dinner. I’d prepared so much tonight in celebration of my daughter’s entry to the club. I don’t think we could handle all the food at all.” Your mother laughed, and then she added, “We could also discuss the arrangements then.”

You turned to Alexia with wide eyes and met her gaze, which brimmed with excitement. Turning back to Alexia’s father, you willed him to say yes.

Alexia’s father scratched the back of his head, his other hand on his hip. “We’d love to come over. That is, if you don’t mind having a five-year-old over, of course.”

“No, we don’t mind at all! Please, do come over.”

“Okay, then I’ll tell my wife. What time should we head over?”

“Nine should be fine.”

Alexia’s father nodded, and that was that.

You couldn’t hold your excitement any longer. You spun to face Alexia, grabbed her hands and both of you squealed. Laughter came from the direction of your parents, but you paid them no mind because all you could think about was that Alexia was coming over for dinner.

“All right. That’s quite enough girls. Say goodbye now.” Alexia’s father said with a light voice. “You’ll see each other again later.”

Alexia nodded, and then soon she was hugging you. “Bye, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Alexia.” You said, lifting your chin off her shoulder before you let her go and took your place at your mother’s side.

“Alright, Jaume, it was nice meeting you.”

Jaume, so that was Alexia’s father’s name. Jaume waved his goodbye to the both of you with a smile on his face, and then he and Alexia drove away.

On the way home, up until Alexia and her family got to your home, you were practically buzzing with excitement. You ran up to your room to bathe, changed, ran back down, and even then the clock’s hand was still not pointing to nine.

“Honey, you peeking out through the window won’t make them get here any faster.”

A sigh escaped your lips, and pushing yourself off the window sill with a huff, you whined. “When are they getting here?”

Your mother laughed at that. “It’s only ten past eight, my love. Go to your father and help him. Maybe time will pass quicker that way, no?”

Dragging your feet with another sigh, you made your way to the kitchen. Your father had his back turned to you when you entered through the archway as he busied himself on the kitchen counter. He stuck his hand into the bag of flour in front of him, and he spread it all over the counter, which caused a plume of white to rise in the air.

“Can I help?” You asked, shuffling closer so that you were beside him. There was flour everywhere on his side of the counter, while two empty baking trays were lined up in front of you. “What are you making, Papá?”

“This, my love, is pan de payés.” He lifted the tea towel in front of him to reveal four domes of raw dough, their surfaces taut with tension. He looked at them, and with a proud nod, he said, “Go wash your hands and help me with them.”

You did, and as you dried your hands, you asked, “Why are you making them? Don’t we have enough food for tonight?”

“Why, they’re for our friends, of course. You wouldn’t want Alexia to leave here empty-handed, would you now, my love?”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you shook your head.

Your father smiled down at you with warmth. “Of course you wouldn’t. Now here, I’ll prepare this first one; you watch, and I’ll let you do the rest. How does that sound?”

You nodded, and you watched. He carefully placed a dome of dough in the centre of the floured space, then took another pinch of flour and sprinkled it over the dough, before lightly running his hands over the surface to spread the flour evenly. He took out his bread lame and ran the blade over the surface of the dough, creating four gashes that intersected to form a diamond, and then he placed the dome on one side of a baking tray.

You did as he did, albeit slower, and with the patient guidance of your father. After your father put the trays in the oven, the heat of it filled the space with warmth and light. As the two of you looked on at your work, your father began, “Remember this, my love. Food is an extension of our feelings and identities. It fills us, it sustains us, and it connects us. It makes us remember. When you eat your mother’s cooking, what do you feel? What do you think about?”

You didn’t even need to think; you answered immediately. “Warm. And I think about home, Mamá, and you.”

Your father smiled. “Good. Now, what do you think Alexia would think about if, say, she ate a piece of this bread for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Us?”

He hummed, and then a small laugh escaped his lips. He bent down slightly so he could tap your nose with his finger. “It’s going to be you, my love. How nice it is to be thought of, especially by a new friend, hmm?”

You giggled, but a familiar warmth surged through you at the thought.

A knock resonated through the house, and you gasped, looking at your father in excitement.

“Ah, our friends are here. Go on, now.” Your father tilted his head in the direction of the front door, a half-smile on his lips. You gave him a hug, and you sprinted towards the door, only slowing down when a “No running, please!” resounded from the kitchen.

“Oh, she’s so cute!” You heard your mother’s coo, and when you turned the corner, you saw her fussing over a little girl balanced on her father’s hip, while Alexia’s mother laughed warmly at your mother’s attention, and finally, you spotted Alexia looking up at her sister being pampered with a smile curling her lips.

You walked over to them.

“Ah! My daughter’s finally here.” Your mother placed a gentle hand behind your back.

“Hello.” You greeted Alexia shyly, eyes fleeting from Alexia’s parents to her sister, then to Alexia herself, who was smiling at you. You stepped up to them to shake their hands, introducing yourself to them, and they did the same to you. You learned that Alexia’s mother was named Eli, and her little sister was named Alba. You offered your hand to Alexia as well, with a playful smile. Alexia caught on, and she giggled before throwing her arms around you.

“Isn’t she a dear? Oh, they seem so close already!” You heard Eli say it with a clap of her hands.

“Believe me, Alexia was all she could talk about the whole night!”

Your cheeks heated when Alexia laughed against your ear at what your mother said, but in the end, you decided you didn’t quite mind.

“Hello, welcome to our home.” Your father finally stepped out of the kitchen. He walked up to Jaume, shook his hand, and stooped down to press his right cheek against Eli’s. He cooed at Alba the same way your mother did, and he gave Alexia a wave. “You all must be hungry; please come join us in the dining area.”

Once the lot of you moved to the kitchen, the evening progressed quite quickly, as it usually did when you were having a good time. Your parents got to know each other after they initially took turns talking about you and Alexia. They laughed and got lost in their conversations, while you and Alexia busied yourselves with Alba, helping her with her food, and who, after finally warming up to you, revealed herself to be a bundle of energy.

At one point, the conversation moved to the living room, and this was when you and Alexia snuck out to the backyard. Alba’d fallen asleep not long after dinner, and she was safely pressed against Eli when the both of you took off. You’d lead Alexia to your favourite spot; it was a swing that hung from a branch of a sturdy tree, and this was how you found yourself pushing Alexia gently as she sat on it, her hands around the ropes of the swing.

“Why do you play football?” Alexia asked, breaking the silence.

“How do you mean?”

“Like, are you only playing it for fun? Or, are you serious about it?”

You hummed as you pushed her. “I’m not sure yet. But, sometimes, when I’m in school, I find myself daydreaming about it.”

“That’s the same with me. It’s all I can think about. I dream about it, too.”

“You’re serious about it.” It wasn’t even a question; you could hear it clearly in her voice. But she turned her head, and the look she gave you all but confirmed it.

“I am,” she breathed out. “I really am.”

You gave her another push. “Where do you want to end up?”

“Barça.” Her answer came quickly, like she’d thought it all through. And then she added, “One day, I’ll play for them.”

The conviction in her voice was enough to electrify you with a surge of inspiration, and as you pushed her on the swing, you had no difficulty believing that it would come true. Like Alexia said, it was only a matter of time.

One day.

You smiled, even though you knew she couldn’t see it.

“I can see it, Alexia. And I know you’ll look great in scarlet and blue.”

[3]

“Yes, Mamá, I got it. Actually, can you text me the list?”

“Ah, daughter of mine, have you taken so many balls to the head that you can’t even remember two things?” At your mother’s irritated response, a laugh bubbled from your throat.

“Actually, yes, Mamá. Probably a thousand by now. And I was joking, come on.” You waved back at a woman who thanked you as she crossed the pedestrian lane, and then you continued driving. As you turned the corner, you asked, “Why do you need so many drinks anyway? Are you having a party? You know I can’t drink during the season, right?”

“My girl, you have too many questions. Just make sure you come home in time, okay?”

“Yes, Mamá.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone. Have fun at training and give Alexia a kiss for me.”

The sentence made you tense, and you had to will your hands to loosen their grip on the steering wheel. You loved your mother, but there was no way in hell you would do that, even for her.

You swallowed, hoping your apprehension wouldn’t show through your voice. “Okay. I’m going to go now. I love you. Tell Papá I love him, too. And Nona.”

“I will. They’re very excited to see you. And I love you, too, my little firecracker.”

Just as you hung up the phone, you turned the corner and found the parking lot of the Ciutat Esportiva Joan Gamper. You parked your car and took out your gym bag. The sun was high enough to blind you, so you put a hand over your eyes, and you saw the tall building that sported Barça’s logo. And as if you were greeting an old friend, you whispered, “It’s good to see you again.”

“Hello!”

A cheerful voice addressed you from behind. You turned back, and you saw a woman of slight build, shorter than you, with short brown hair that curled just behind her ear. Some locks fell on her temple and covered her left eye, and the sun made her hair look golden. She was wearing loose, off-grey high-rise pants and a black long-sleeved turtleneck that accentuated the curve of her body.

She was beautiful.

And she was also Tori Favaro, the top-scoring forward for Roma last season and the fourth candidate for last year’s Ballon d'Or. Also, the other half of Barcelona’s new transfers this season.

Of course, you knew about her.

“Hey, Tori,” you said with a smile.

She was now in front of you, and she grinned, which revealed the dimple in her left cheek. “I didn’t think you’d remember me!”

“How could I forget? The only other time I met you, you gave me a hard time!”

“You’re telling me! We couldn’t get past you at all! The fact that the only goal we got that day was from our own goal is still a bit embarrassing.” She laughed, followed by a sigh–wistful. The two of you walked towards the entrance of the Gamper. “I can’t believe that was more than ten years ago.”

At her wistfulness, you couldn’t help but recall the memory as well: FIFA U17’s World Cup, when Spain and Brazil clashed during the knockout stages. Tori was relentless in her attack, and you barely saved the balls that managed to get past your defenders. Even then, you—and everyone who had eyes—saw her potential, and now look how far she’d come; she was very well on track to getting a Ballon d'Or, and she was never more in her prime than now.

“Is there any chance of you representing your country again now that you’re back in Barça?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll just make my decision when they call me up the next time.” You shrugged, hefting your gym bag over your shoulder. The sudden urge to change the topic rose in you, so you asked quickly, “How are you finding Barcelona so far?”

Thankfully, Tori took the bait, and you happily listened to what she had to say about your city as the both of you walked through the lit, pristine corridors of Gamper, which, as you noted in passing, were strangely barren, as you reacted every now and again to whatever Tori said, even recommending her places worth going to.

As Tori pushed the door to the locker room, a frown crossed her face, and she looked behind her. “Where is everyone?”

“I don’t–”

“Welcome to Barça!” Came the unified greeting and the cheers that suddenly erupted.

A sign that read the same thing with the letters in alternating scarlet and blue, accented by some yellow hearts, was held between Marta and Alexia while the others stood in a semi-circle, clapping and hooting. A cake was on the centre table, and just behind it were piles of folded fabric, which you recognised to be yours and Tori’s set of training kits. Beside you, Tori wore the same expression on your face: mouth agape, eyes wide in pleasant surprise.

The semi-circle dispersed, and the next thing you knew, you were being hugged, patted on the back, and chatter filled the room.

“Look who’s back! Barça’s prodigal daughter finally returned home!” Mapi shouted, arms thrown up in the air, before she grabbed you by your shoulder to pull you into her.

“Don’t act like you missed me, asshole.” You laughed and punched her arm when she pulled away.

Mapi cradled her arm like you’d just injured her, looking at you with a look of exaggerated pain. She gasped, “Violence, already? Is that how you treat a teammate? I won’t stand for this. Alexia! Captain!”

At that, you sidestepped around Mapi, but not after sticking your tongue out at her, as you navigated through your other teammates who welcomed you. You managed to get to the edge of the crowd, just at the end of the locker room, and that was when you saw Alexia with Tori. You were close enough to hear snippets of their conversation.

“–expect me to go easy on you.” Alexia said with a laugh, hands on her hips.

“Of course. Just because you’re my–”

An arm wrapped around your shoulder and a presence pressed up to your side.

“So, did you get me Christen’s signature?” Patri’s voice filtered through your ear.

You hissed through your teeth, your voice gravely low. “You know, I did ask her. She just doesn’t want to give it to you, dude.”

Patri looked at you incredulously. “Wait. What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure.” You shrugged, placing your gym bag on the nearby bench. “Did you say something to her the last time you saw each other?”

“Dude, the last time I saw her was what?” Patri frowned and blew air through her lips. “During the SheBelieves Cup? What–”

Grinning, you pulled something out of your bag and revealed it to her. Delight filled you upon seeing Patri’s eyes widen in recognition, her gaze fleeting between your face and down to the jersey.

“Oh, you cheeky bastard!” She took the jersey from you, held it up in front of her to appreciate the signature down in the middle, and she embraced you with a force that made you grunt out a laugh. “Thank you!”

A voice broke the two of you apart.

“Easy there, Patri. Don’t break any of her bones, please. She hasn’t even begun playing yet.”

It was Alexia.

Your heart lurched.

Patri looked at you, then at Alexia, and she put her hands up in surrender. Patri gave you one last knowing look—something that you tried hard not to think about too much—before she gave a two-finger salute to her captain, and off she went, leaving you alone with Alexia.

“Hey,” Alexia greeted you and stepped into your space, arms wrapping around your shoulders. You tensed for a moment before you remembered to relax, snaking your own arms around her chest. “Now, I’m a bit jealous. Where’s my present?”

“I think I happened to spy it on your wrist, or am I just going blind?” You hummed. When you pulled away, you took her left hand and lifted it up. “Oh, look! There it is!”

Alexia threw her head back in laughter.

The sight, like always, made you feel warm.

“So, I suppose you like it?” You couldn’t help it; shyness bled into your tone, and you only hoped that Alexia didn’t hear it.

“I love it. Thank you. It suits me, doesn’t it?”

And though the silver band of the watch glinted around her wrist as it caught the light when she lifted her wrist to the level of your eye, you appreciated the way the golden flecks in her eyes shone despite the blue tint from the fluorescent lighting.

“I’m glad you like it.” You said barely above a whisper, and you berated yourself at the softness that lingered there, but the way Alexia’s eyes became unfocused and lidded, as if she’d thought of a memory, made the slipup almost worth it.

Almost.

“Alright, good morning, everyone!” Jona’s voice pierced through the chatter, and everyone stilled, apt with attention, before sitting down on the bench. Alexia, Irene, and Marta remained standing but kept mostly to the sides. He, and two other assistant coaches, stepped into the room with their clipboards and folders in hand.

You shared a look with Tori. She snuck you a thumbs up, and you pressed your lips together, fighting a grin.

“First of all, welcome to our new transfers.” A round of applause went around. Jona faced Tori, and he continued, “Tori, thank you for joining us. I hope you’ve settled yourself in the city, and we really look forward to playing with you.”

“I’ll do my very best to help our club. Visca Barça!” At the latter, hoots and claps erupted.

Jona laughed, but when he motioned for everyone to calm back down, the locker room grew silent again.

“And of course, this woman needs no introduction. Barça’s very own Wall has returned.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as cheers erupted once again. And it didn’t help that Alexia was looking at you with something akin to pride while clapping her hands, a soft smile on her lips.

“It’s great to be back, Jona. And like Tori, I’ll do my best to keep our club moving forward.” You caught Alexia’s eyes. “It is home, after all.”

“It is home, indeed. Well, put your training kits on and meet us down at the fields. The rest of you, please head on over to Pitch 9.”

Jona and the other coaches filed out. Alexia followed along with the rest, but not before giving you another look. You stared long after she’d gone, not knowing Patri remained in the changing room and saw the whole until you found her with a look of disapproval clear on her face.

She sighed, shook her head as she got up, and left.

Tori was there, too, and her eyes flicked between the door and you, then to the door again, and you could almost see the questions forming in her mind. You quickly took your training kits and entered one of the changing cubicles to spare yourself from any more confrontations.

[4]

Training went relatively well. For the most part, anyway.

You were with the team for the warm-ups before you were separated—along with the other goalkeepers—for technical training, and then Jona called all of you back for some 5-side matches.

At one point, your team went against Tori and Alexia’s team. They’d linked up, the two of them, keeping their touches to two at most. They were close now, and Jana was just barely holding Alexia at bay. You spotted Tori’s signal from the corner of your eye, but you needed Alexia to commit to a pass. You kept your weight on your toes. With a body feint to the left, tapping the ball to the right with her outer foot, and a quick cutback to the left, Jana was defeated, and Alexia kicked the ball.

Now!

You sprinted forward to the left, where you knew Tori was, and you leaped. The ball stuck to your gloves mid-air.

“Holy shit!” It came from a surprised Tori.

You would’ve laughed, but you spotted an unmarked Caro who was making a run for it. You wound your shoulder back right after you landed on your feet and released the ball before Tori and Alexia could even think to get back.

It sailed right on over to Caro, and she brought it down with her chest. Ingrid was on Caro all at once, but Esmee surged forward to follow a diagonal path from behind Caro, asking for the ball, and it only took one moment’s hesitation from Ingrid for Caro to make just enough space for her to shoot.

The ball went past the nearest post, and you pumped your hand in the air. When Caro saw you with her arm around Esmee, she gave you a thumbs up, and you returned the gesture with a clap.

It was nearing midday when all of you’d cooled down and headed to the gym. On the way inside, Tori ran up to you.

“You nearly took off my head there.” She said, just slightly out of breath as she patted your back.

“I was going to tell you, ‘Heads up!’, but that would’ve ruined the surprise now, right?”

“Remind me not to play opposite you again.” She joked. “I forgot how aggressive you play. And I think you’ve only gotten worse!”

“It comes with the title.” You said, winking at her.

“Does it now?” She said it dryly, squinting at you. And then the both of you parted ways for your respective workouts.

It was going relatively well, but at one point, your attention moved to Alexia without meaning to. Alexia stood watch over Tori, who was lying down on the bench and lifting, attentive, and they conversed with a familiarity that transcended more than that of acquaintances. And you knew, then, that they’d probably hung out outside of sporting functions.

For some reason, the sight made you ache.

Then a sigh came from somewhere beside you. You turned and found Patri there with her levelled expression, but her eyes were knowing with the way they looked at you. She tilted her head and patted your back before making her way to the exit. You hesitated for a moment, but, as if it had its own volition, your body stood up and followed her out to the sunlit pitch.

Patri was further away now; she hadn’t stopped walking, and you had to jog to catch up with her. It took a moment, but you finally matched her stride, and without even looking at you, Patri began, “How are you?”

You stuck your hands into the pockets of your shorts. “Fine.”

Patri hummed, obviously unconvinced. She took a breath and let it out loudly through her teeth. Your shoulders locked at the sound, and you prepared yourself for the weight of whatever she was about to say.

“I saw you looking at her,” Patri said, straight to the heart of the matter, and your body coiled tighter with tension. “You went through all that trouble. Yet, you’re back here again and still not over her. In fact, I think you’re—” Patri sent you a look, though this one fleeted so quickly that you weren’t able to decipher it. She blinked, returning her gaze forward. “Never mind.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course, it fucking does!” Patri exclaimed. “You were doing better! And then you ghosted me for months. The last time we talked, everything was going well with—"

“Don’t.” The word came out firm—a warning. “Patri, please, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Patri’s voice softened. “So... something did happen.”

“Patri. Drop it.”

Patri stopped walking just several metres away from the gym tent; you’d finished a lap around the pitch. She frowned at you, and you were ready to fight back if she insisted on talking about it, but she shook her head, and the frown melted away, and in its place was a look of pity.

“Okay. I hope you know what you’re doing. Just ready yourself.”

A pause and a hesitant look flashed through her face. But Patri was a good friend because she was direct, almost callous in the way she called everything as it was, and it was something you’d always liked and admired about her. Now it was no different because she said, “I think you know yourself already, but I just thought I’d let you know. Alexia has a girlfriend.”

Despite yourself, your heart dropped. And you ached.

Oh.

Patri must’ve seen something on your face because that pitying look deepened with a hint of sympathy. She patted your back gently before she headed back in. You breathed deep, and it came out shaky, but you steeled yourself as you parted the entrance to the gym.

Alexia’s laughter filled the air, drawing your attention immediately. And there she was in the same spot, holding onto Tori’s shoulder for support, bent over in her amusement, while Tori looked at her with a dimpled smile.

You turned away.

[5]

A grunt escaped your lips as you got out of the car, your muscles bearing a pleasant soreness. You turned your headlights off and parked in front of your parents’ house. It was later than you’d expected, but the additional technical session and the meeting with Jona caused you to be one of the last ones out of the Gamper.

With the cake and drinks you promised your mother to get in hand, you knocked on the door and waited. There was a lone light that filtered from the living room, which you found a bit odd, but tiredness won out, and you decided to pay it no mind. Maybe your parents were just relaxing on the couch.

No one answered.

Frowning, you placed the drinks on the porch step, and you balanced the cake on one hand as you opened the door with your key.

You let yourself in, and the hallway was dark.

“Mamá? Papá? Where–”

The lights in the hallway and the kitchen flashed on in quick succession, nearly blinding you.

“Surprise!” The resonant cheer came, and the cake box jumped in your hand, nearly slipping.

You found your mother’s face first, and you laughed, “Oh my god!”

“Welcome home, my love!” Your mother embraced you, and you barely had enough time to angle the cake away and put the box of drinks down so she could do it properly. You leaned down, and she placed a kiss on your cheek, and then the other.

“Hello, Mamá.” You muttered, closing your eyes, soaking in her presence and the peace that came with it. Oh, how you missed her. Another pair of arms wrapped around you; it was your father’s, and suddenly heat rose to your eyes at the warmth that seemed to blanket over you, both inside and out.

“Let me grab that for you, my love.” Your father said, taking the cake box from your hand, but not before kissing your temple as a greeting.

When you pulled away, you saw it wasn’t just your parents there. There were Eli, Alba, and Alexia, with little Nona in her arms. Nona’s white coat was a stark contrast to the dark shirt that Alexia wore. There was a tender smile on her lips, her eyes almost wistful as she caught your gaze. And could you really blame your heart if it ached beneath the weight of her gaze?

“Oh, sweetie, have you grown taller?” Eli asked as she stepped into you, hugging and kissing your cheeks like your mother did.

“I’m not sure about that, Eli.” You giggled into her ear. “How are you?”

“Growing grey hair, love. You went away, and I had no one else to keep Alexia in line. Alba doesn’t help; in fact, she encourages her sister’s wiles, and Alexia does the same. Partners in crime, these two!”

Alba’s laughter resonated in your ear when you hugged her next, and you chuckled at the exasperation in Eli’s voice. Alba retorted, “Má, how else could we keep you on your toes?”

“I’d very much not want to be kept on my toes. Thank you very much.”

“Eli, I’m sure Alexia couldn’t be that bad. She’s always been a good girl.” At that, you caught Alexia’s gaze with a smirk. Her eyes twinkled with recognition, probably remembering what the both of you got up to behind your parents’ backs. She shook her head slightly, mouthing, ‘You’re an asshole.’

You gave her another smirk before you added lightly, "Alba, on the other hand...”

You didn’t even finish the sentence before you got a well-deserved punch to the arm from Alba herself—a punch you knew would surely form a bruise. Cradling your sore arm, you yelped, looking at Alexia for help.

“Alba, please don’t injure our new goalkeeper. We need her.” Alexia said calmly, and you looked at Alba triumphantly. Alba opened her mouth to protest, it seemed, but Alexia cut her off. “There’s no need for that. I’ll just ask Jona to make her do some extra laps during warm-ups in our next training session.”

“Yeah, that’s right—hey!” Realising what she said, you scoffed while Alba threw her head back, laughing. Alexia’s lips were curled up in a satisfied smirk, looking much like someone who’d gotten the last word.

“Ha! That’s what you get—”

Eli cut Alba off. “That’s enough, you three. I swear, when you’re together, you act like you’re all still ten!”

“It’s a bit endearing, though, isn’t it, Eli?” Your mother laughed, putting a placating hand on Eli’s shoulder. “But Eli is right. We should take this all to the dining table, no? The food is about to grow cold.”

[6]

In the two years you lived in the States, you spent most evenings alone, and the food you’d cooked from the recipes you took with you never tasted like home. It’d been so long, you nearly forgot how filling food should be—both in mind, body, and spirit. But now, in the presence of your family, with their love laid out in front of you—your mother’s arrós negre, Eli’s fricandó, and your father’s pan de payés—with their laughter and their warmth, you were finally filled again.

You ate mostly in silence, soaking in the scene and the ruckus with a smile, and the detail of that one empty chair wasn’t lost to you either. The reminder drew your attention to Alexia. She’d tied her hair in a low ponytail and left two locks of her hair to frame either side of her face, which made her look all the more beautiful. In this light, Alexia’s image seemed to split in such a way that you could almost feel a presence in that empty seat beside her, looking on at this scene as you were.

Grief gripped at your heart, but love was quick to soothe the pain with its gentle caress.

The minutes flew by, and many times you caught Alexia sneaking peeks at her phone, sometimes even texting while she wore a tender expression. If anyone saw it, no one called her out for it—well, maybe except for Eli, who, upon spotting her daughter on her phone, gave her a reprimanding smack against her arm, followed by a hissed scolding. Alexia looked so much like a child just then, with her wide eyes, that you nearly spat out your drink. She caught you staring, and she squinted her eyes. To that, you blinked innocently at her, curling your lips slightly to let her know you saw the whole thing.

“So, are you in a relationship, dear?” Eli’s unexpected question made the water go into the wrong hole, and you spluttered. Alba patted your back while Alexia eyed you with concern and curiosity. Eli asked, “Are you okay, love?”

You gave her a thumbs up.

“Alright. Where was I? Right. Being in America for two years, surely you must’ve met someone.”

After composing yourself finally, you answered, “No, I’m not, Eli. I’d been so busy that I had no time for it, really.”

“What? A pretty girl like you all alone? I don’t quite believe that!” Eli exclaimed. “Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you with anyone.”

“Apart from that poor boy... What was his name?” Your father added. He snapped his fingers. “Ah! Guille! Nice boy, he was. Where is he now anyway?”

“We were never together, Papá.” For some reason, you felt the need to clarify that. “And he’s in London, finishing his PhD at York.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. And I never knew you kept in touch.” Your mother’s brows shot up in surprise, and you thought you heard a hint of awe in her tone. Teasingly, she said, “Are you sure you’re not seeing him?”

You sighed internally, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You smiled and said, “Yeah, sometimes. I haven’t seen him in a while, though, but the last time we talked, he and his girlfriend were looking for a new apartment.”

“Oh, he has a girlfriend, does he? That’s unfortunate.”

“Not for me. I’m glad he’s happy.” You shrugged before you sipped your water.

“Are you waiting for someone, maybe?” Alba teased, wagging her brows.

You tensed, and you'd paused too long, it seemed, because Alba gasped.

“Oh, she is! Who is it?”

“Alba,” came Alexia's warning tone.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’m just excited.” Then Alba sighed dreamily, “I just think it’s kind of romantic.

You could feel the weight of Alexia’s eyes on you, but you dared not look up. You kept eating.

No. It wasn’t romantic.

It was painful.

[7]

After you helped clean up despite your mother’s insistence not to, and after an hour of sitting in the living room conversing, the exhaustion of the day finally caught up with you. You needed to be alone, so you took little Nona from your lap and into your arms and snuck out into the garden. The light that streamed out from the living room was adequate enough for you to spot your old swing. You went to it, and, after inspecting and deeming it fit to take your weight, you sat on it and began a gentle rhythm, running your hand over Nona’s head, who purred at the attention.

The sound of grass being disturbed pricked at your ears, and you knew it was Alexia even before she spoke.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

You turned your head to the side where Alexia’d rested her back against the tree trunk, half of her face bathed in the incandescent glow of the living room light. You hummed in answer.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re on your swing.” Alexia spoke as if that fact held the answer to your question. “You used to come here and sulk.”

You scoffed. “I didn’t sulk.”

“You did. You’re doing it right now!” Alexia teased.

“Now I am because you’re bothering me!”

“Fine, I’ll leave then.”

You knew Alexia was joking, but when she made an exaggerated move to leave, you spoke softly, “No, stay. Please.”

Alexia froze, and after a moment, she leaned back on the tree again.

“I’m sorry about Alba if she did cross a line.”

“She didn’t; don’t worry. Thank you, though.”

“Are you sure? You seemed uncomfortable.”

“I was uncomfortable because I happen to not like talking about my love life.” You said, a bit defensively. “Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable too if I started grilling you about who you’re with right now?”

Alexia remained silent. You huffed, “Exactly.”

A silence settled in the air.

You gripped the rope of the swing, and the texture felt off. You inspected it; the rope was new.

“Yeah, uh, I had them replaced.” Alexia admitted, and when you faced her, she was rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “I kind of broke it when I was here last.”

Another pause. “I hope you don’t mind. Sometimes, I like to come here to think. Plus, I get to visit your parents and Nona, so, yeah.”

“No, of course I don’t mind. This is your home as much as it is mine. We’re family.”

Alexia opened her mouth while a hurt look flashed behind her eyes. She seemed to change her mind because she closed her mouth and bit her lip before she eventually said in a hoarse voice, “Yeah, of course.”

Alexia was standing right there, but you’d never felt farther from her than now. There was a rift between you, but it was only you who could see it—you could feel it widening and deepening. Maybe Alexia could feel it, too, but you were sure it wasn’t like the way you did.

It didn’t cut her the way it wounded you.

Nona meowed softly in your lap as she stood, nosing at your chin and dragging her head on your jaw. You cooed as you scooped her up, pressing a kiss into the warmth of her fur, and you giggled when she licked your cheek and began purring. Alexia kneeled in front of you, running a finger under Nona’s chin, who purred even louder from the added attention.

“She really missed you, you know.” Alexia whispered, and as she did, she gazed up at you. The warm light made her eyes shine and her cheeks glow with an earnestness that you longed to caress, that invited you to trace the outline of her brow and to feel the soft skin just beneath her eye.

She was so beautiful.

She’d always been.

You could never tell her that, and it hurt.

“I missed her, too.” You breathed softly, “So much.”

And still looking into her eyes, you murmured even softer, “You have no idea.”

#ap11 #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #my writing #a/n: i had half a mind to split this into two chapters but it wouldnt flow as well so im just gonna give it to yall as is #this took forever to write im really sorry #apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes ill work on em later #hope youre all doing well and thank you for reading <3

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rotomicity · 7 months

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TGCF art from 2021 which were very experimental and very much something out of my comfort zone but am still so satisfied with

(gonna ramble more under the cut 👉 )

My main inspiration for these were definitely classic storybook illustration styles and the watercolor-like illustrations included inside the tgcf books which depict hualian's daily slice of life routines as seen below

I wanted to capture that feeling of warmth i got from reading but i also went with the storybook look because their relationship (and by extension broad strokes of the entire plot) really did feel like something out of actual myth or legend; i'm chinese indonesian and was raised surrounded by chinese culture + values so tgcf felt VERY familiar to me, it threw me back to my childhood reading or listening to tales about chinese deities, i'd say the storybook image definitely came into my mind pretty quickly bc of this

I find this style somewhat hard to replicate now but if i could or have the time to, i really want to continue the 'companion pieces to chapter titles ' concept i did with the last 2 pieces (which are of the same chapter title but i was just indecisive 😭😭), i even had 3 more planned based on my favorite titles before burning out back then

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #mxtx #danmei #rotomic does artz #IF YOU READ THROUGH ALL OF MY RAMBLING THANK YOU VERY MUCH #as you can see i am Very Normal about this book :)#(said like a liar)#what was 2021 me cooking....like why did they go so hard on these #also bonus hozier in there bc i associate hualian with like real people do a lot #tbh a lot of hozier songs would work for them #i REALLY want to do a companion piece for chapter 243's title bc wowee #it still gets me to this day. i remember it n suddenly im like what the fuck (fond and sad)

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stsgsk · 6 months

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Thinking about Satoru With A Short(er) S/O

Fem Reader | Fluff | Sorceress Reader | ~2940 words

To the surprise of a grand total of zero people, Satoru teases you. To make it worst, it's nothing original either.

Example 1:

"Where's my S/O gone?" He asks, like you're not literally standing in front of him. But it's not his fault. If he look straight ahead, his eyes totally misses you.

Example 2:

"How's the weather down there?" He proceeds to bend down on your level and look around. "Yeah, this kind of sucks. You should try my altitude sometime. Sun feels a lot better"

He ignores the heat from your glare.

Example 3:

He's also tried using you as an arm rest. Emphasis on tried.

"Your crotch is literally within my punching range" you tell him once, and only once.

He doesn't use you as an arm rest anymore.

Ironically enough, he'll shut down anyone else teasing you, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. Teasing you is an S/O only privilege, exclusive to him.

Oh, and of course he has all sorts of nicknames for you. He tried 'knee-height' once, and you kicked him in the shin.

He has you saved as 'Shortie' on his phone. You saved him as '10-tier drying rack'.

If you're on the quieter side, you've definitely scared him at some point. Sometimes, he's genuinely not aware you're there and looks down and just sees you down and actually gets a mini heart attack.

"Oh crap!" He says after he's jumped back a good few feet, clutching his chest. "How long have you been there for? Are you trying to scare me or something?"

No. No, you weren't. You had literally been standing next to him for at least ten minutes.

Even worse, sometime he just straight up walks into you because he's not paying attention to where's he's going and just straight up walks into you, sending both of you toppling over.

"We've got to stop meeting like this" he says, smirking as he looks down at you. You're lying on the ground, and he's on top of you.

"Satoru. This so the fifth time this week. Get off me right now"

He gets better though! Don’t give up on him!

So, about you two walking.

It really didn't work out for a while

His long longs meant he walked faster and in longer strides. Your shorter legs meant the exact opposite

At one point you actually gave up walking together for some time because it was a genuine piss-take. Satoru would be walking and talking and he'd asking your opinion only to realise you were still 5 traffic stops behind him

You used to try jogging to keep up with him but that also took the piss because you didn't ask for a work out

So after convincing you to give it another go, you and Satoru tried again and worked on it.

He started walking a lot slower for you. It was definitely awkward at first, uncomfortable even since it really wasn't his normal walking pace.

But when he saw how happy you were you two could actually have a conversation while talking, that you were no longer just staring at his back as he spoke and you could actually see his facial expressions and he could see yours, he decided it was worth it. Soon enough, it became second nature.

Of course, you contributed to this effort too. You did work on your walking, getting faster too. Satoru assured you that you didn't need to go too fast or anything, since he didn't want you worn out, so you got to a faster speed you were comfortable with.

So you two just walk and talk together a whole bunch now. Honestly, every time you two walk alone together is a date at this point.

Speaking of dates, he loves taking you out to the city because it’s bustling with so much life. But of course, there's the issue consisting of your height, crowded places, and you two get separated the first time you have a city date

He’s so dramatic when he loses you in crowded places. It was inevitable, given you two were literally in Tokyo. But he is actually panicking. Like, he lost you. He actually lost you.

He's so silly, he's calling out your name and showing a picture of you (his lock screen) to every stranger he comes across in hopes of finding you.

There's obviously no need for him to worry, you're a very capable sorceress, and a very capable person.

What happened is either:

a) You call him and ask him where he is. You literally told him you were going into that store on the left three stop lights ago.

It’s not his fault he's so tall, and Tokyo is so loud that he couldn't catch what you were saying. He probably didn't even know you had been talking to him

"Well, if you grew like an extra few inches, I definitely would have heard you"

You punched him in the arm for that

Or b) you really did fall behind and swept away by the busy Tokyo people, and you only end up finding him because he's causing a big scene and kind strangers directed you to my boyfriend

"Satoru, I'm here" You say, waving at him as you approach. “We’re such idiots. We should have just called each other-“

"Oh, thank goodness." He embraces you in a bone crushing hug. "We're holding hands from now on, every time we're in public. I'm not losing you again"

And if you're fine with it, you two really do end up holding hands whenever you're in public. It's nice, holding his hand.

Speaking of hands, the size difference? Satoru can't get over it. He gushes over it every time. He'll just come up to you randomly and stick his hand forward, your queue to press your hand against his. He'll slip his fingers between yours, give you a gentle squeeze, and won't let go.

He laughs when you mention how you're starting to get neck pain from looking up at his face all the time

So he starts to get down in that silly goofy pose he does for Megumi so you can look down at him.

"Looking up, looking down, it'll balance out that neck ache of yours"

He really didn't mind doing this for you. He actually enjoys it. He loves seeing your face when he’s looking down at you, and when he’s looking up at you. He’s notices difference things when he’s in these different position, the crinkle of skin around your eye when you laugh when he looks down at you, the way your lips stick out when you’re annoyed when he looks up at you. He really is enamoured by you.

But when you two started kissing and hugging, he started to understand your point when he has to bend down to kiss you.

Don't get him wrong, he loves you and loves kissing you, but it's really not ideal (and he's starting to get some of that pain you were talking about)

So he comes up with a solution: His infinity!

He uses it to get you to float up, so you're at a much nicer height for both of you to kiss.

This is different to when you two kiss standing with him bending down to kiss you.

It's the way you're eye level that makes both your stomachs flutter in a new way. It’s the way your nose brushes against each other in this slightly different angle that makes both your breaths catch. It’s the way your lips meet, as you drape your arms around his neck and he wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close that makes both your hearts race.

Yes, this becomes the new norm.

Ah, he also loves kissing you when he's sat down, and you're standing. Oh, and when you're sat on his laps and kissing him? Or, even better, when you're both laying down and kissing? He’s excited to kiss you every time.

One time, Satoru wants to take you out on a shopping date. He think it would be cute to pick out clothes for each other. He expects you to agree, and is surprised when you turn it down.

You explain how hard it is to but clothes and shoes because of your height. It's either too long, too tight, too ugly, or just not right for you and shopping really was a pain for you.

As soon as you're done ranting, he's already looking for a personal seamstress and shoe maker for you.

"What?" you ask, incredulous as he explains to you what you’re doing. "Baby, no. There's no need for that."

"Baby, yes" he corrects you. "There is literally every need for that"

He's not taking no for an answer. You deserve to find the right clothes for you as much as anyone else. You shouldn't have to settle for what fits, you should be confident and happy to wear your clothes.

Besides, he has lots of money. It would make sense to spend it on his S/O

So yeah, all your clothes fit now, and you're seriously grateful. You tell Satoru all the time, but he can tell even without you telling him. The way you seem so much happier in the clothes you've always wanted to wear makes it obvious.

And Satoru makes sure to go all out. Its way better quality than any other clothes you have. It will literally last over a life time

Satoru also takes this as an opportunity for you two to match outfits and he absolutely loves it.

It's literally a requirement for you two to match and look good. He makes sure to text you when you two are going to hang out to make sure you're both coordinating.

Satoru: So it's yellow today, right?

You: Yeah. You pick mine, I'll pick yours?

Satoru: Deal

And yes, you two are very stylish. Fashion icons. Couple goals, but that was already a given even before the matching outfits.

He loves to grab things for you. Will tease you a little about it, but he does enjoy doing things for you. If you'd rather be more independent, he'll offer to use his infinity to give you a leg up of sorts, or you'd use a stool or climb on something he'll make sure you don't fall

"Is that really safe?" he can't help but ask, making sure to be alert in case you even wobble slightly on the stool.

You wave off his concerns. "It's fine. I'm basically a pro at this"

Satoru also reaches for your clothes at the bottom of the washing machine and the ice cream at the bottom of your freezer for you, because he’s seen the Olympic level gymnastic just to reach them and is both impressed and concerned you'll hurt yourself somehow.

If you need a leg up somewhere but you want to be independant and you two are in public, he will let you use him as a stepping stool. He will get on all fours so you can step on his back and do what you have to do. It's fine though, His infinity means you’re not actually touching him it's not like his clothes will get dirty so don’t worry, and he doesn't feel you stepping on him. He promises its no big deal.

He got you an oversized teddy bear this one time. It's literally the size of you, if not bigger. He was really proud of himself for getting it for you until you started cuddling it more.

"Come on" he pouts. "I'm literally right here"

If you don't give into his demands, he'll whine and whine until you do. He loves to cuddle you. He loves wrapping his arms around you, and holding you close. As he keeps you warm ans safe in his hold, he can't resist the urge to give you a flurry of kisses on the face. He's a weak man when it comes to you.

And if you decide to be the big spoon? He sometimes gives into the urges to pinch your cheek. It's just really cute to him how you want to hold him despite being the shorter one. Bonus points if you're the big spoon. Either way, he's a very happy man when he's with you like this.

If you're mad at him, either he gets down on the floor or you get a chair piled with pillows so that you're looking down at him as you do and then start scolding at him. If you’re extra mad at him, you do both.

If he's mad at you, he's going to be so petty.

He'll pull a: "what? I can't hear you from up here"

Or worse, if other people are there, he’ll turn to them and be like: "You guys hear something?"

He always make sure you’re at the front of group pictures so you're actually in the shot. If you'd rather not be, he'll either use his infinity to make you float so you're seen in the picture, or if you want, he'll sit down with you as everyone else stands so you’re not the odd one out.

When you're sitting down and your feet don't reach the ground, you can use his legs as a leg rest. He doesn't mind, he wants you comfortable.

Or you can lean on him when you're tired, and he wraps an arm around you and keeps you in a secure hold.

"I've got you" he says to you quietly. He always treats you tenderly when you're worn out. "You can rest now." He says, kissing the top of your head.

If you let him, he'll carry you bridal style. Or any style.

He also loves giving you piggy back rides. Especially when you’ve both got to get somewhere faster.

"It's faster babe" he says, as though he literally couldn't just teleport you both instead or at least get there a lot faster with his infinity. He's just using it as an excuse to hold you, because he loves holding you.

You two tried sharing blankets once, and you didn't do that again for a long time. The blanket distribution did not work between you both because of your height differences. Plus, if either of you tugged on the blanket, the other was missing out.

But then he once saw you could wrap your blanket around yourself multiple times like a cocoon.

Firsts thought: 'Aww, so cute'

Second thought: 'Wait, this is possible?'

He's forgotten you could actually do that, he's been tall for that long.

So he buys a gigantic blanket so he can cocoon himself into too, so now you're both two cute caterpillars cocooned up together.

This blanket was also big enough for both of you, so you finally did manage to get to share a blanket. It was definitely one of you two's favourite memories together, and became a thing you two did often.

One time you both went on a date and came across a Face In Hole board. Unfortunately, you couldn't reach to get your face in because you weren’t tall enough.

Whether you expressed or not, Satoru knows you're disappointed. And Satoru is not going to have a disappointed S/O on his watch

He buys the necessary supplies, and works to create a face in hole board for you both, one that works for both your heights.

And when he shows you, you're so touched.

He painted on the board two silly looking curses with the hole the right height for you both. When the photos were taken and you look back at them, you could really tell he put a lot of work into and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated him.

That became you're new lock screen.

He laughs when you're too short for shade board in the car so it can't block out the sun for you and you're just keep getting attacked by sun rays. So, he lends you his sunglasses, and always does so when you need them.

When public mirror are too high up for you so you can't check your reflection, you rely on Satoru to help maintain you’re appearance.

"A little smudge here" he says, wiping it away with his thumb. "And you've got a few hair out of place. It's cute, though. I think you should keep it that way. No? You want me to fix it? Got it."

When there's some sort of crowd and you can't see what everyone's looking at because everyone's too tall and all you can see is their backs, Satoru lets you get on his shoulder so you can both see.

You know those couple pictures where it just shows their shoes? Satoru posted one once of you both. However, given how your large height difference translates into your shoe size difference, the comments go like this:

Sh0k0: Is that a child?

You: .

Satoru: No, it's y/n >:(

Sh0k0: I am so sorry

Suguru: help i cant stop laughing

There was one time you came back from a mission. Satoru heard that you failed. Thinking the worse, he came rushing to find you. You were in one piece, but clearly down. He asks you what happened, and he expects, well, something serious, he supposes.

He didn't expect to be bursting out in laughter when you tell him you tried exorcizing a weak curse, but the curse got on a higher ledge and you couldn't reach him

He laughs so hard it was basically an ab workout.

After he recovers from his laughing fit (he actually never did, he bursts out giggling every few minutes as he remembers), he goes back with you back to the place your mission was

But not to exorcize the curse for you. No, he knows you can do that by yourself.

He uses his infinity to jump onto the ledge where the curse still was, proceeds to kick the crap out of the curse, knocking it off the ledge and send it tumbling on the ground in front of you.

"You've got it from here, babe"

And that's how you completed your mission that day. Yes, you wrote that, word for word, in your report. You felt bad for whoever had to wrap your head around your report, you really did.

Satoru hates it when people underestimate you as a sorceress or as a person because of your height. And he's livid if someone puts you down for it.

He's your biggest cheerleader and you're biggest defender. He'll always be the first person to vouch for how amazing and strong you are.

Because you are, and he makes sure to tell you that every day. Whether you're insecure about your height, or you don't give it a second thought, not a day goes by he makes sure to tell you how valuable you are as a person, and how much you are worth.

TLDR: Satoru is absolutely in love with you. That's all there is to it.

#fem reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #thanks for the love on the first post <3 #second post!#there are spacing issues here :( I'll try and fix em #i imagined teen gojo in this tho but adult gojo should work too #still figuring tumblr out and how imma lay out my posts #anywho #hope you enjoyed!#thank you for reading <3

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ribbononline · 2 years

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Start: Page 1-10 (You are here!) - End: Page 11-20

#fuck you this is NOT going under a read more . take the picture spam #hardenshipping #magma leader maxie #aqua leader archie #pokemon oras #quality varies per page n its not perfect yadda yadda but im rlly happy w the end result overall #im just happy i actually managed to finish it in the end haha #long time coming! but i did #also thanks to julian and jan for being my beta readers to make sure the text made sense #oh also congrats to tabitha for being the only non maxie or archie to appear here #not as much congrats to him for his appearance just being him getting yelled at rip king #anyways. if y’all were wondering why all my latest sketches have had a very specific pink purple color palette #its cus i still had my comic colors set when i was working on them WWWW #anyways. i could ramble abt a LOT of different stuff here. but i wont! it is what it is now #and i finished it! whoo

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deviouz · 24 days

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!!!!! also i just wanna thank everyone for the love ): my life is kinda !! hectic atm, but i'm slowly getting back into the swing of things <3 i might be able to work on some requests later tn after my paper and midterm, but no promises. make sure you guys are taking good care of yourselves! your faves would want that <3

#big thank yous to ardennes and sumi <3 #it's been so long since i've had like #moots.#i do not know how to behave #(throw back to my aot account era !!)#for those who read the tags #currently working on a ren (14dwy) fic for all of my yandere lovers #kinda wanna explore some darker elements to scratch that itch in my head #ren hana. you are next.#n e ways !!#. . . katy’s ramblings 🪐

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inkykeiji · 2 months

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i didn’t know you were into reading (outside of ff of course ☺️) do you have any recs with the kind of relationship dynamics you write about?? i really want some romance books like that 💖

of course i am!! <3 i love literature!! but if i’m being completely honest i mostly read 18th century lit HAHAHA ick that sounds so pretentious LMAO (/ω＼) hmm the only rec i have for you is wuthering heights, because catherine and heathcliff’s relationship is definitely Something. you didn’t ask about films, BUT i love film with all my heart and i am going to recommend true romance if you’re looking for a relationship similar to the relationships i create in my writing! true romance is one of my favourite films ever and clarence + alabama’s relationship serves as huge inspiration for the ones i write! <3

other than that, i’ve heard that a bunch of the ‘dark romance’ genre books recommended on tiktok etc. have similar toxic relationships and scenarios to the ones i write! i haven’t ever read any of them, so i can’t give you titles or speak to how well they’re written, but you can always look into that genre and see if you can find a list of recs for it! i’m sure there’s tons floating around on google + social media! good luck anon <3

#i can also link an ask where i rec some of my favourite novels + an ask about art that influences and inspires my own as well #but neither of those really have any *romance* novels in them #so!!!#hopefully this helps at least a lil <3 #i'd say if you enjoy my work DEFINITELY check out true romance #i'll be super surprised if you don't instantly love it #pls have a lovely monday bb n stay safe!!#and thank you for reading my work!! <33 #inky.bb #clari gets mail #ONE DAY I WILL PUBLISH NOVELS ANON I PROMISE #ONE DAY

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an-theduckin · 6 months

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Btw ik it's been a rlly long time since I've updated the a day in the life of mark fanfic (it's been 1 month and 5 days) but I'm fr working on it alr it's just cuz writers block + imposter syndrome + the first few chapters after chapter 10 being the most confusing ass chapters ever n I'm still tryna figure out out to do the pacing of them n stuff. I'm rlly genuinely sorry it's taken this long I didn't think that would happen it was only supposed to be like a 2 week break. So yeag I'm really sorry about that

#an_theduckin #Im working on it i promise #its just taking so long #also initially i only had until like. chapter 10 planned and a few vague ideas for the future chapters #so now i had to pull stuff outta my ass to make the plot lines connect n shit #i thimk its coming along nicely but its so disorgamised rn so yeag #also im a perfectionist n lately everything i write/draw just SUCKS ass for some reason so yea i judt never get stuff done #it sucks so much i wish i could just fuckimg be normal #im trying i really am #im sorry i cant be more /gen #also i think this series will be like. never ending #like a slice of life series. i even updated that tag into that series #so yeah thats fun #i just never wanna see it end. it would completely break my heart #ik itll end eventually but yea #if u read it this long than um. thank you ig #i really need a hug rn haha #my rants #ashur gharavi #twomp #mark and friends #my text posts #ao3 fanfiction #ao3 writer #writers on tumblr

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slashingdisneypasta · 6 months

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F/O Imagine/Question

Thinking about Adult Online Shopping with your F/O(s). Like, not even searching for toys to use together- you were just casually looking for something new for yourself, your alone time, and your F/O(s) just happen to walk by and get curious. Did they know before you that you masturbate? If not, how do they feel about it? Are they shy about looking at this stuff with you? Do they try to initiate funky time because of this? Are they cool an casual?

Now imagine actually going to the adult store with them XD

#yep this i s inspired by real events. my pink bullet has decided that it is Her Time and stopped working #so i'm in the market and OH BOY.#i'm sex positive but apparently i have some work to do still because some of this stuff is still pretty awkward to see 🤣#but like. this imagine is so fun XDD #like 👠cruella and me grimacing at the ones that actually look like fleshy veiny penises (no thank you not for me)#theorising with 🐊jim about what some on earth of them even do because they are NOT all self explanatory lemme tell you-#🖕otis knowing the answer to e v e r y q u e s t i o n. XD #F/O #F/O's #F/O Question #F/O Imagine #“👠oh god darling do you really want a disembodied penis in your home??”#“noo i cant say i do... at least they have various colours though... hey what do you this one does??”#“🐊surely- surely that goes in the- ”#“no way!- ”#“🖕yep that goes in the ass. i recommend this other one though- ”#XDDDD i dunno its just a fun casual chill thought!! XD #edit: OH I FORGOT ABOUT CALLAHAN📕#okay with him... i can see him possibly being pretty curious haha XD #like he's sitting right next to me telling me what to click on so he can read the descriptions XDD

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howdidigetbacktowritingwhat · 8 months

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hiii i want you to know i just consumed the entire fic and all your art so far and im obsessed. any chance you're willing to feed me a few crumbs :3

hiii anon i also want you to know that this was the final pushing point that helped me push through finishing the next chapter <3/gen/pos

SIX

#it is what it is update #it is what it is art #GENUINELY #ive been like. going through so many blocks and doubts about whether my work is like. actually good or everyone is being nice #asks + comments + tags are always saved in my phone for me to look at and remind myself "hey!! people actually like this !!! maybe its okay #like this one <3 #you guys are so kind and supportive and i thank you so much for it #its. hard for me to continue a piece because i very very easily get overwhelmingly negative about it so this. this genuinely helps so much #if you've read my fic #scrolled through my art #thank you #thank you so much <3 #hope you guys are well!!#no idea how my updating schedule will be. ill. ill try #fnaf dca reader insert #y/n #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #WAHHH POSTED THE WRONG VERSION OF THE DRAWING

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attaboy-art · 2 years

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Your art is really cool!!! Also your pin post says requests are open so if it’s ok 👉👈 Luke with littol Kat? Or Luke with Flora? They are fambly

thank you!!! AND THEY ARE FAMILY INDEED!

ty for this request... i loved every moment of it i love the puzzle kids so much

[Image ID: A collection of digital drawings of Flora Reinhold and Luke Triton. On the left is a large, fully colored, full-body portrait of Luke and Flora wearing detailed and fancy outfits and admiring them in the mirror. Flora, who is drawn black in every drawing, is standing straight up, facing the viewer, and is in awe at her outfit. She has her hair in a set of parted twists, with her signature curl in front of her forehead, with a large red bow at the back. She's wearing a short-sleeved white button down shirt with a red and green striped tie with a brown icon of an apple at the end, as well as a long, poofy, burgundy skirt with thin gold double stripes at the hem and gold leaves embroidered across the skirt, with multiple white frilled petticoats beneath. She's wearing calf-high pink and green argyle socks and white platform shoes with brown soles and accents. Luke is beside her, also facing the viewer, is wearing a blue beret with a dark blue paw print on it, a long light blue overcoat with a dark blue bird embroidered on the right lapel, a white button down, a red bowtie with thin gold stripes, white tights, and white and brown saddle shoes. The top right drawing is a digital painting made with a chalk-like textured brush of Flora, in yellow shorts and a red bowtie with her hair half up and half down, and Luke, in his usual outfit, on a large grassy hill. Flora is leaning back against the wind and flying an orange kite with a rainbow tail. Luke is semi-obscured by the hill, smiling and holding onto his hat with one hand and waving with the other. There is a large white cloud behind them. Below this painting is a simple drawing of Luke and Flora, drawn monotone in blue and orange, respectively, lying down on a rug and staring at a puzzle. Luke is defeated and Flora is deep in thought. A caption, pointing to the puzzle, says that the puzzle is worth 70 picarats. Finally, there is a small drawing of Luke and Flora, in their regular outfits, pointing to the screen together in the same form as the "Correct" screen one gets when solving a puzzle in the Professor Layton games. There is a gold shine around their joined pointing hands. /.End ID.]

(reblogs > likes!)

#literally. thank you so much anon #ive had a rough september so far n drawing flora and luke be happy together has been a mood lifter for sure :') theyre so siblings...#i love them so much you dont understand. flora deserves to have fun goddamnit #also sorry ive been so slow with these but auuugh. homework 😭#i hope u guys enjoy per usual #art #fanart #illustration #painting #professor layton #flora reinhold #luke triton #also. gonna maybe try to figure out how to be more concise with my ids because idk if its like. Proper or not for them to be this long #ive read that the more detail the better though? so we'll see #i just want my work 2 be accessibke #accessibile. fuck

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confetti-critter · 1 month

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The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I

#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired'#WEH.#I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more #I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I #like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf.#why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you #saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck #49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll #I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat #or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once #and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and #rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh #I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again.#but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess???????#gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice #oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All #meow meowm meow meow meow #ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed #I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did #and tomorrow is another day #and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty #literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did #thanks jeezy boy #you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least #moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time #*pause for laughter*#that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak #meowww #I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing #I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage

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famewolf · 9 months

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if im being honest and allowing myself to vent a bit about it ... another red flag was when the DM went 'wow i love the detail of your backstory but idk what i can do with it tho ):'

#[static]#it immediately made me feel bad for trying to make a character work with the aesthetic she had given us tbh #i could already tell she didnt seem to be super character story driven so i just made a pretty simple drifter-type #for a post-apocalyptic setting n such and made a group that tied into the whole over-arching premise #i also literally just did bullet points cuz i could tell she wasn't gonna want to read one of the backstories i usually do #and as someone who has mostly dm'd in the past i did my v best to make a character that was super easy for the dm to incorporate in any way #like a solid reason for being there a reason for wanting to adventure with strangers a reason for seeing the mission through no matter what #made a whole small faction and connected them to the overarching theme and plot in multiple ways #wrote down lore and npcs she could use for the faction if she didnt want to make up her own #like all the works and all i got was two sentences back about it ... one of them being like 'cool but i dont like the extra details'#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh #ok im done yelling now i just need to vent for a second #i feel bad for feeling kinda bummed about the experience because this is the first time i got to play at a physical table in years #and i know how hard it is to DM #but also when you come to the table with zero notes for the first session its ... probably gonna be disappointing jkfghdf #i DID have fun however because the party banter was hilarious and it was fun getting to hang out with ppl!#but communication between DM and players was not great #also let me be clear she did like that i made so many connections and hooks into the story and it helped her a lot #she was NOT interested in my character's past like ... jobs or npcs #but also u could just Not say anything about it and just be like 'sweet cool thanks for the info' LMAo

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transselkie · 1 year

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Ok, I'll bite: Hilda/Claude/Lorenz, what's their deal? (I enjoyed FE3H a lot! Played all the routes, though it's been a while, and the only pairings I still have any attachment to are Felix/Annette and Annette/Mercedes...)

Thank you so much for asking, I’m sorry for the wait. My first two attempt at this ended up being five/six page essays. I have been. Trying to whittle it down.

The core fundamental is that I genuinely believe the three of them bring out the best in each other, are capable of challenging each other in ways that are necessary, and ultimately balance each other out. Explanation under the cut.

Politics is incredibly important to both Claude and Lorenz, and the three of them are good for each other politically. And not just because of crests or titles.

Lorenz and Claude challenge each other politically in necessary ways for their own growth and success.

Lorenz holds Claude accountable for the decisions he tries to make behind closed doors.

Claude shows Lorenz that the belief system he’s been raised in is fundamentally flawed and broke.

Hilda’s interpersonal skills make her a good diplomat to balance the boys out.

She shares Claude’s ability to manipulate others through charisma but is less willing to go to nefarious places with it. When Claude gets lost in the gambit she can reel him back in.

She’s genuinely liked and trusted by her peers in all the areas that Lorenz fails struggles with.

They’re basically fluent in different languages. Claude can talk strategy, Lorenz can talk nobility, Hilda can talk people.

Interpersonally, they understand and benefit one another.

Claude hides behind a mask of charisma to feign the illusion of openness yet despite his best attempts Hilda and Lorenz see him holistically.

Hilda/Claude A support - Hilda: “If you understand me so well, maybe it's because you're no different. When you smile or laugh, it's not sincere. I can tell. I've only seen you genuinely smile a handful of times.”

Lorenz sees him for all his worst qualities first (lying, scheming, deceitful) and yet still ultimately concludes that he’s a good and moral man worthy of his position.

Claude doesn’t want anyone to see behind the mask because the mask is an armour protecting him from a world that wants him dead. But both of them look him directly in the eyes and tell him I see you, I see all of you, even the things that you don’t want seen, and I’m standing by your side anyway.

And again, they keep him grounded.

Hilda hides behind her charisma and lazy persona to keep other peoples expectations of her at bay. Claude and Lorenz both help her thrive past her fear of disappointment.

Claude sees right through her act (see A support)

She’s his second in command. If she dies he says every strategy he had was planned around her survival. He understands where her strengths and interests intersect and utilizes them. And she seems to take genuine pride in that work.

Lorenz doesn’t see through her but he values her and encourages her anyway. She’s literally playing him but his response is just so genuine she starts matching his effort anyway without even intending to. She is used to being treated like a liability, but he never treats her that way.

Left to their own devices the boys will work themselves to an early grave and forget to have a life without politics. Hilda will not let that happen.

Lorenz was raised to be a nationalist and taught to believe that he alone had the skills to, basically, make the Alliance great again. Literally, his father had the only known heir murdered to help him advance to the Dukedom. He has some shit to unlearn and they were here to help him unlearn it.

Canonically, Claude’s mere existence and proximity to him helps Lorenz unlearn and re-evaluate his fathers teachings. And while its not his responsibility to educate there’s no way Mr. I-Want-To-Tear-Down-The-Walls-That-Divide-Us isn’t readily doing so on purpose.

Hilda, on paper, should not make a good noble and yet everyone loves her and hates him. He will question why, and he will realize that his restrictive worldview caused him to miss both of their best qualities.

Seeing them succeed interpersonally will show him he’s been wrong and encourage him to grow and change. And when he does, they will be there to celebrate him.

That pathway accomplishes all the things I’ve already spoken about - Lorenz realizes his belief system is flawed, and Claude and Hilda have love and support offered to them through the parts of them they see as most unlovable.

He is the only member of this trio that is actually being open and honest with others. He might be lying to himself but he will tell you exactly what he’s thinking. And he’s going to hold the others to his standards of honesty too.

I genuinely believe they’d all be best friends.

It’s honestly harder to argue that Claude and Hilda aren’t canonically really good friends. Do I even need to defend their friendship.

Claude and Lorenz love a good debate/game of strategy. They might drive each other insane while at the academy but they’re intentionally meeting up for chess weekly minimum.

Hilda and Lorenz absolutely do tea dates and gossip. She’d find him so funny, and he wouldn’t know what to make of her but she’s fucking Hilda Valentine Goneril.

❤️💛💜 BONUS! ❤️💛💜

There’s also just so much humor and fun to be found with this dynamic. To display this, my peak academy dynamic for them is as follows:

Lorenz is convinced he’s living in a spy thriller. Claude is an Almyran spy and he is going to prove it.

Claude is a little intimidated by how close to the truth he is but Lorenz is just so pathetic he basically discredits himself. He’s Threat Lite. He needs to be watched but is mostly just a funny little guy to him. It’s a spy thriller to Lorenz but Loony Toons for Claude.

Claude and Hilda are just besties who are casually sleeping together. They gossip. It’s fun.

She’s also besties with Lorenz. They have tea and gossip and she thinks that whatever is wrong with him is so so fun.

I can not stress enough that this is just high school for her.

Lorenz however is ALSO living in an Austenian drama. He believes Claude and Hilda to be courting, a heart breaking reality as he has found himself falling for Hilda.

Hilda watches the boys play weirdly homoerotically charged games of chess like “omg you want to fuck each other so bad it makes you both look pathetic”

She WILL say as much to both of them who are equally horrified by the accusation. “I think if you fucked you’d fix each other actually.” They staunchly disagree.

They are 100% blaming those embarrassing dreams they keep having on her and absolutely nothing else.

Anyway, I could literally continue talking forever. Their ship song is In the Middle by Dodie. hilclaurenz is everything to me. Thank you for listening ❤️💛💜

#musing-gears #hilclaurenz #claude von riegan #hilda valentine goneril #lorenz hellman gloucester #fe3h #if anyone is actually interested in reading a fanfic about them let me know because I have.#a novel length story for them up in my head #and the only thing keeping me from actually writing it properly is the amount of work I'd put into something that no one but me cares about #I also have five fan children for them who are my everything and will happily ramble about them #they have their own Awakening style time travel au along with some other fan kids #because I have terminal brain rot disease and have been sucked down the adhd/autism sinkhole of All Three Houses All The Time #and cringe is dead so fan kid fun is back on the table #a n y w a y s #thank you for listening I'm sorry it's still so long you should see the old drafts

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sophieswundergarten · 1 year

Text

Live Reaction of Sophie Being Utterly WRECKED by Chapter 13 of S.O.S.

@nobody33333333. I have no apologies or disclaimers. You Know What You Did.

OOOOHHHHHHHH. You have NO IDEA how ecstatic I am at reading this!! Going to have a hard time containing myself :D

Already, Garrison is locked on to the psychic aspect of the situation. Makes you wonder what that tunnel vision is blocking from her?

Oh no. Ah, she thinks it’s Kate!! This is horrible.

Interesting that she still doesn’t want to brainsweep her, even though she’s scared.

NO. NO IT WASN’T A GOOD REASON. IT’S KATE!!!!!!

Man, just jumping straight into the deep end with all of the Garrison angst. I love you, Bods, but goodness gracious

I love that Jackson is just screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac and then immediately drops to (attempting to be) professional when Curtain answers. Love me some Muppet Twins.

Also, side note, I adore how you’ve set it up so they all are guessing, and the suspicion mostly lands on Kate and Reynie. It’s so clever!!! Because everyone is working with different pieces of information, and so they’re making the wrong assumptions. It’s like that one fable with the blind men and the elephant.

NICHOLAS. Even if Milligan had been hurt by the Sender, That Doesn’t Mean You Are At Fault.

(You should know you’re a good author when I spend a good 64% of my time yelling at the characters, because you are just so skilled at writing their thoughts/personalities)

And Miss Perumal’s back!!! Oh, the way you write her is such a wonderful balance of protector and mother, she’d be my favourite to read if it didn’t change every five seconds.

Jeffers!!!

Poor SQ. He’s so hurt and angry but he’s trying to handle it “maturely” and he’s so alone. I want to hug him :(

And the depth you added!!! All the little details and nuances you include, like the stuff about SQ wanting to go to college and Curtain’s anxiety over the whole situation, culminate in such a glorious emotional payoff that gives insight to the character being complex people who pretty much all have a sympathetic side. You are a genius for keeping track of all of it, and the pacing is just masterful.

He lied!! I know it isn’t helping in this direct situation, but I’m so proud of him!! (As opposed to the fairly simple and unadulterated relief I felt when watching the show)

Oh, and then you flip it. I want to root for the kids, obviously, but when you follow up every victory with Curtain’s desperate panic as his carefully crafted world is crumbling down around him, how can I?

And he immediately channels it to “productive” anger. Oh, I am scared for the kids.

Milligan!!!

I love how you can put words to Milligan’s protectiveness without making it seem like he doesn’t care about the other children.

The fact that she immediately fixates on her bucket, instead of even thanking Milligan as I’d guess she normally would, has always stuck with me. Because it is the epitome of Kate’s relationship with her bucket: She needs to have it, it is where she derives comfort and safety, and it just drives me up a wall because it’s what she’s supposed to be getting from him, and what she probably would be feeling if she let herself stop and think about it. But she’s been on her own for so long that she can’t stop and let herself accept the help and reassurance from him. She needs to keep going.

And Milligan just supports her!! He doesn’t really understand the bucket specifically, but he loves her and so he’s willing to help her in whatever way she needs. And, the thing is, he kind of does understand, at least, better than she knows. The symbolism here is amazing, not least because it’s foreshadowing about their relationship. It’s like that one thing, “When you live through something incredibly hard and you survive, you become the person who would have saved you then” or something. Milligan is helping her in the way that he could have been helped, in being caught, in being saved from having to face the cliff and escape alone, and in helping her understand who she is.

It’s just… SO GOOD!!! You communicate it so well, and I keep rereading that bit over and over again because I love it. The emotion that is woven throughout is so intense, and so pure and lovely!! Agh, you have a very good gift with words, my friend.

And he offers to get her a new bucket!! And he tells her how much he loves her!! And how she’s always welcome. You’re going to make me cry :(

The horrible, horrible, beautiful contrast of how much he wants Kate to be loved and valued, and how he keeps thinking about how crazy it is that someone “abandoned” her.

Wait. Wait, Milligan is being reminded of Curtain!!! Oh, Constance and her situation and Kate and it all makes him think of his friend. The element of abandonment again. I— I do not have the words for how I feel about this. But It Is A Lot.

OH. OH YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A PARENT??? KATE??????

Ah, man, it’s heartbreaking that she is weirded out by having someone, specifically an adult, care if she fell off a cliff. That’s, like, The Lowest Bar

I am once again feeling the Milk Urge to consume drywall!!!!!!

She’s so surprised!! She’s totally thrown off that they (and, again, Milligan specifically) would go to such lengths to keep them safe!!! What!!!

You Write The Wetheralls In Such A Way That Makes Me Want To Screech But Please Know That I Am Hugging You As Hard As I Possibly Can In My Mind

Ah, yes, The Blue Beret EventTM

Nicholas is so lost, and he’s just as hurt as Curtain, but he won’t allow himself to see it because he feels so guilty.

And he doesn’t trust himself!!! He is letting other people direct him, but that’s why everything is falling apart. They don’t know the full situation, that’s one of the lonely things about being a genius; you can’t always rely on just anyone, because they don’t see things the way you do. And then Miss Perumal says a new thing and throws him off again!!

Goodness, the way you write that little paragraph of his confusion and confliction is exquisite.

I like the bit about how Miss Perumal needs to go home to her mother! The wording, and Nicholas’ reflection on it really hits home that part of her personality!! (I think you added that, but, regardless, reading through it in your style gives a better perspective on both characters, and their relationship to one another!)

Ajasdhgjkasdghkjdsajk And he’s so worried about Miss Perumal’s family (EXHILARATED with how you had him automatically include Reynie), once again missing the point of how it affects him!!!

The Stenographer!!! I like him. Does he have a name? I feel like it should be… Martin. Or Tyler. Or maybe Raphael. I don’t know, but he’s neat. Sorry for my goofy little tangent, you just have this fantastic skill for making me emotional over side characters and background people, so I’m preparing myself, in case :)

And the way you add in the “Squeak”s!! Ooh, I could feel the agitation and anxiety building in myself just from reading it, and of course, Curtain is going to be super sensitive to that, because he needs everything to be under his control and Just So.

Which leads him to make ridiculous demands of his poor stenographer.

Reynie!! He’s trying so hard to work around all of his worry and tell the truth, even if in little bits.

STOPMINDGAMINGTHECHILDLEDROPHTA

As much as I’d like to give Curtain credit for being a human polygraph machine as he seems to think he is, Reynie is just garbage at lying. So am I, kid, don’t worry about it. But it is funny how the scene can be interpreted either as Curtain being super good at his job and making Reynie nervous, or Reynie doing his best but just being stuck in a situation he isn’t suited for. THIS is what I keep saying about your writing: I sympathise equally with all the characters and am deeply invested in each and every one of them, regardless of if I even remembered they existed from the show.

THE STAR THING IS BACK

(Okay, I know that was from the show, but you keep building up to/creating this star motif and it is driving me bonkers I Love It)

Noooooo, he thinks it’s Nicholas trying to hurt him!!!!! Why must you tear me apart in this way

“Reynie Muldoon was intelligent. He was. Curtain could admit that. But he didn’t have Sticky’s gift” You are so good at balancing all of the characters, it’s insane. Mentioning the other kids when writing from a single one’s perspective or even from an adult’s is so cool, because it reinforces the concept of them being connected, and relying on each other. Oh, man, it’s just awesome to see!!!

Poor Jeffers, he’s just getting put in awkward positions even without his bumbling buffoonery.

NO. Ah, I forgot the Implications of Jackson, Jillson, and Martina being friends, no this is awful

AKJSFHJFKHDDSKJKJHDGSHKJDG BODS

I am going to. Just. Combust on the spot HOW DARE YOU

Okay. Okay I am going to RantTM now and you’re just going to have to DEAL for yanking my heart out by the strings and then stomping it into the ground

Y O U C A N S E E T H E M L O S I N G I T.

You can see, even in such a short bit, how Curtain’s brainwashing is creating a conflict with what they personally have come to believe. They feel betrayed and confused and scared, and the line “Dr. Curtain had always been there for them, and someone as smart and as generous as him would never lie”, but he would!!! AND HE DID!!!!!

And they love Martina, of course, but now that the floor has dropped out from under them they turn to each other, because that’s all they have left. Curtain isn’t going to comfort them, he’s not going to be a source of kindness and support, he’s too Busy And Important. But, they are still, without really thinking about it, going to rely on him even more, because now that Martina “betrayed” them, he’s the only person who has “been there for them” (And, again, we see the sort of mindset they have of being more of a single unit, because of how close they are. They don’t consider each other an outside human, but rather a vital component of themself)

And the fact that they don’t even realise the need to distance themselves from Martina and throw her under the bus is because Curtain is manipulating them and mistreating them!!! They feel like it’s a rational reaction, because of course the man they’ve spent their whole lives working to repay for the fantastic service of occasionally being polite to them is the good guy. When faced with their own facts and decisions, and years of Curtain’s lies, they don’t know where to turn!!!

“Jackson and Jillson lifted their heads and looked sadly at each other. Martina had tricked them into being her friends? Well, they supposed in light of this evidence, there couldn’t be any other explanation” HE’S DOING THE SAME THING HE DOES TO SQ!!!! WHAT!!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CARELESS TO NOT EVEN GRANT THEM THE KINDNESS OF PRETENDING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PAIN LIKE YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN SON. NO, YOU JUST DO THE BAD STUFF THAT’LL HURT THEM, BUT BOY WILL IT MAKE THEM COMPLIANT. PRESENTING YOURSELF AS THE ONLY SAFE OPTION DOESN’T MAKE IT LOYALTY

Okay. Going to try and calm down now. But Marie Curie’s Notebook, Bods, did you have to do that to me?

Madge Perspective!!

Constance and Madge rivalry is one of my favourite things to come out of this, and it is slightly making up for the gaping hole in my heart from the last passage

I appreciate that you gave her a reason for not giving the note to Reynie!! This actually makes a lot of sense and works so awesomely with the continuity :D

AND SHE GOES TO TAKE SQ’S SANDWICH I LOVE HER

AND HE RECOGNISES HER THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Oh, and now it’s sad again. You’re giving me whiplash with all this, I swear…

Ah, no. I knew this had to happen but it doesn’t make it any less painful, especially to read through in your writing.

Somehow, the fact that “You’re not nice at all” was such a cutting remark for both of the boys speaks volumes about them.

The way you keep leveraging their age differences as something SQ is ashamed of!!! I’ve moved on from the drywall and am unscrewing and consuming my light bulbs. Just— AGH. I can’t think of the words to get this feeling across properly… SQ was being vulnerable, and opening himself up to someone who could really understand him, and now he’s being made to feel ashamed over it for things that are not his fault!! WHAT???

And Reynie is trying so incredibly hard!!!! Oh, this was one of my absolute least favourite parts of the show, it just hurts so much and it reminds me of that bit in the books when SQ tells Sticky that the best thing to do was “not to have cheated in the past”. The best thing would be if they could have somehow avoided this situation, because of how it hurt both of them :(

Nice detail about SQ’s tutors!!

Oh, but the poor boy’s so hurt. AND IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THIS BAD IF CURTAIN HADN’T BEEN INSTILLING SUCH RIDICULOUS CONCEPTS INTO HIS KID FOR YEARS

Jeepers Has Jeeped It Up Again

And now Curtain is spiralling!! Part of me is like “The nerve of him, after he just destroyed several children”, but, alas, your writing has gotten to me again and I actually feel kind of bad for him

Nicholas isn’t laughing at you, you GRASSHOPPER, he’s CRYING because he LOVES YOU

And Garrison is having to bear so much of his anger. It’s that other thing, the one about how you treat people close to you worse because you trust them to love you anyway? Except BAD because they’ve both been through so much it’s just getting wildly more unhealthy by the day

“Now all she could do was hope that whatever psychics and spies were crawling about the Institute were able to get their job done before Curtain found them” It’s so weird how she doesn’t have the information necessary in the slightest, but somehow she’s kind of closer to the truth than Curtain is

(This isn’t important in the slightest, and not to undercut the drama and tension of this scene, but I hate that stupid hallway painting outside Curtain’s office with a PASSION)

Ooooh, the way you sprinkle little hints of doubt into SQ’s thoughts is absolutely fantastic. And painful. Very Painful.

Reynie’s so scared but you know he wouldn’t really blame SQ even if he did get brainswept

The way you added SQ’s backstory with the Helpers!! That’s so cool!! Oh my heavens, I am in love with how you added that!!!!

THIS CHILD IS SO EMPATHETIC WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN SELF REYNARD

Now, just because I don’t think Reynie, as a small, incredibly stressed child, should be overly worried about SQ doesn’t mean I am not worried, oh my word. This Child!!! Needs A Hug!!!! Now!!!!

Jeeps.

But, the thing is, Curtain is so upset!! And he’s not upset because his Evil Villain Mastermind plan is going awry, he’s upset because the (Astoundingly Unhealthy) coping mechanisms are failing him! It makes me want to Pat Him On The Back, because I don’t think a hug would end well

MAYBE MARTINA WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IF YOU LET HIM TALK TO PEOPLE

But, really, Curtain would probably hate Martina as an influence on SQ because she’d challenge him

“Would you care to reconsider that answer, son?” And you wonder why the kid’s got trust issues

And this is it!!! Oh, Bods, I am Vibrating. Curtain’s emotional dam is cracking and it’s going to go so terribly but I wish he’d just work it out Lands Sakes Alive

It’s so infuriating that he’s being such a funky little oxymoronic moron and forcing himself not to feel emotions by thinking about people he cares about

AKJFHDHGJKGSDHJGKJGKJKHJGKJHGSKJHDKJHDGSKJSDG

DOCTOR GARRISON????????

I’m going to have a heart attack one of these days, Heavens to Betsy

SQ!!! AND THE SECRET LAB!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!

Oh, Milligan is so proud of Kate!! As he should be!! You write him going into these cute detail spirals whenever he thinks about Kate, and it’s so sweet!! I love it :)

Just the small scenes you add to fill in what we see in the show are gorgeous!!! They make me fantastically happy to read

Oh, Jackson and Jillson. They really need to discover their own personalities. Someone please save them from themselves (And Curtain)

(Quick Note: The word “falcon” has a tiny little typo in it. Nothing to worry about, I just thought you might want to know)

ONCE AGAIN. HOW IS CURTAIN ACTUALLY KIND OF CLOSE BUT SO OFF THE MARK??????

Erika!!

BODS I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM CRYING AND MELTING INTO THE FLOOR THROWING UP FROM THE PURE EMOTION HOW COULD YOU DO THIS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND HOW DARE YOU HOW COULD YOU DO THIS THIS IS THE END FOR ME

ASKJKHJDGSKHJDSGKJDGKJGDFKJHFGKJHDGKJHDSGJKL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDS TO ARTICULATE THIS I AM BANGING MY FACE INTO THE WALL BODS PLEASE KNOW IF I WAS EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR YOU I WOULD BE BRAVING THE STREETS TO DRIVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND CRY ON YOUR COUCH. AFTER I EAT ALL YOUR LIGHT BULBS.

The thing about SQ hiding in the woods!! The bird ice cream!!!

THE FACT THAT SQ CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE WAS GIVEN THE ICE CREAM

NO. I DON’T TRUST HIM “MAILING OUT” THE APPLICATIONS. CURTAIN MAY LOVE HIS SON BUT HE IS OBVIOUSLY HORRENDOUSLY MISGUIDED AND KIND OF COWARDLY OH MY HEAVENS. NIKOLA TESLA AND HIS COILS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT.

Okay. Okayokayokayokayokayokayokay. Listen. If this is a pattern (Which it’s seeming pretty likely), then there’s a whole other side that’s probably unintentional!!! Whenever Curtain brainsweeps SQ, which I’m assuming happens every couple of years, then Curtain gets all concerned and is much more careful with SQ because A) He feels bad, and B) SQ is super disoriented and out of it. WHICH MEANS THAT IT REINFORCES IN SQ’S MIND THAT HIS DAD IS THE ONE TO RELY ON WHEN IN STATES OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

Oh, Oh Garrison. You are worth more than just throwing up and downing pain meds to try and get through life.

I wish Milligan, or even Curtain when he was slightly more stable, was there to care about her

(This might be me off on a mad as a March hare tangent, but is there a possibility for Garrison’s headache being because she is also a bit psychic?? I’m probably super wrong, but I am also absolutely bouncing off the walls with all of the Brain Bees you’ve given me)

And Curtain still makes her vegan food. Even though she doesn’t fully get it, and Curtain is being all crazy, he still cares about her it makes me so sad

ASHJHHHJKDSG I’m willing to bet that this is also the first time in a while she’s gotten any compliments at all, aside from the children

She’s trying to be a good person!!! But she’s also awfully conflicted like everyone else in this miserable disaster of a decaying friend group, and so it’s going badly!!! I also feel like someone might need to talk to her about her social struggles, because if she’d just stop trying to force herself to be some kind of muddied idealised hypothetical version of herself, then she might get somewhere

(And also if Curtain got off her back a little. I don’t know, I just feel like it says something about her that she has the easier time talking to children out of everyone else)

Martina!!!

Oh, she’s probably also falling apart because either she’s a fugitive and Jackson and Jillson betray her or she’s absolved and Kate’s in the wrong

The dual reactions!!!! The confusion!!! THE FACT THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON

ASFKKJDS He’s leaving them in the Waiting Room overnight??? I can’t remember if that happened in the show, but, overkill much??

Oh, and Milligan is having a crisis over being a horrible person, and then has no time to breathe as he’s absolutely panicked over what’s going to happen to Kate

DOCTOR GARRISON????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…

Bods. Buddy, Bud, Nobody, Bods.

I Am Going To Start Weeping Openly As Soon As I Finish Stealing All Of Your Left Socks

THE SIGNATURE NOBODY GUT-PUNCH ENDING

WHOOOO

I hope you know that I am wrecked, and I will never, ever be able to move past this. Seriously. I am going to remember this fic for the rest of my life, and I am just. Beyond words.

[Despite being at a loss for words, Sophie proceeded to yell and climb the walls for the next forty-five minutes]

I am going to. Just. This is insane!!! You have broken my brain!!! The Bees have been flash-frozen and are dropping like rocks!!! I can’t even process All That.

I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SO, SO GOOD AND GRAND AND I COMMEND YOU AS A WRITER AND A CREATIVE AND A HUMAN BUT ALSO I AM GOING TO SCREAM NOW

One of these days I’m going to have to write a full-blown essay, or, like, make a PowerPoint about how I have been emotionally devastated because your writing has fully cemented itself as a fundamental part of my personality.

Just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of these days I am going to learn the words to get across to you how much this means with me and how Full Of Emotion I Am

Oh, goodness, I need to go to sleep.

I couldn’t wait and I really wanted to read it, but my “reviews” have become less coherent commentaries and more “live” reactions, and there was so much going on that I needed to get all of my thoughts out immediately.

Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou, thank you, Thank You, from the bottom of my heart, for this. This chapter, this fic, this entirety of you existing. Thank you so much

Alright, I’m going to try and sleep now, as if I am ever going to recover from this :)

#Did you enjoy watching the light in my eyes die as I worked my way through? /s #For all seriousness though #I am INFATUATED with this chapter #Rotating Microwaving Centrifuging S P I N N I N G #I don't even got the words anymore #You've broken my mental dictionary. Which I will say is quite the feat.#Thank you for this #Quite literally an instance of “You could (and did) deck me in the face and I'd thank you for it”#Ah man I have to sleep now #Thank you once again shutting up now because my brain is overtired and quite broken #s.o.s.#OH! And I shouldn't have to say #But please remember to take time and enjoy yourself!!!#I'm always happy to read whatever you want to share #But you are under no obligation to adhere to a schedule or even to post anything at all :)#Remember you are important!!!!#This wouldn't be any fun if you aren't having a good time too #You are a valued human!! Don't forget!! And don't let silly things like my excess energy pressure you!!!#Okay goodnight

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