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vadlings · 4 months

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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #laios touden #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #the winged lion #autistic #autism #clay writes #i GUESS #this was so spur of the moment. im so busy right now i dont have time to be analysing laios touden #i wuont angry autistic rep..

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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 months

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Google’s enshittification memos

[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]

When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.

Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:

The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.

https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/

"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."

And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.

How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.

When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.

People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:

https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/

Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":

http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf

Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/

How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:

https://killedbygoogle.com/

Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.

It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.

Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.

Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.

It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":

https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d

Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.

Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.

Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":

https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic

After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:

https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf

The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."

OK.

But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."

It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."

"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."

And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."

In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.

Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."

For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.

But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it

Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:

https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554

Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.

For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:

https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/

When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."

Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).

Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.

But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.

And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.

As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.

But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.

The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."

What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

#pluralistic #enshittification #semantic matching #google #antitrust #trustbusting #transparency #fatfingers #serp #the algorithm #telling on yourself

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mrfoox · 2 years

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I forget that it's fairly common to actually dislike traits which are not the same as yours and im: but why...

Anyone who's unlike me in some manner I 9/10 times have big interest and respect for

#Obviously if someone have shitty views or beliefs thats not what i mean as a disclaimer #But like... Im very emotional about everything. I find people who aren't very cool and i just want to understand them better #Talked with oliver some and hes very... Well kinda 0 bs type of person and he's not afraid to say things when hes upset or similar #Fpr me thats whack. I personally am a pushover and will basically try to appease everyone even if theyre assholes. Kill them with kindness #But hes not the way and im like... I cant imagine doing that myself but thats actually awesome I am impressed #In my country/culture the norm is kinda to take all shit you get from others and turm the other cheek etc bc we dony want to be a bother #So his way of thinking and well being is very alien in general where im from. I joked and said its probably from his finish side. Finish #People are bad ass and definitely have an stronger spine than us 😂 but like evrn with hobbies and interests i am thid way #I can and will sit down and listen to someone i like talk abojt their interests even if i dont personally care for it or am into it. I will #Still find it interesting to hear about though. Like fabian is an active gym goer atm and is trying to be veru healthy. That doesnt align #To me or anything i have any real interest in. But i gladly listen to him explain his gym stuff/experience etc #Our differences as people is honestly very cool and i wish more people could see that i guess #miranda talking shit

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frillsand · 7 months

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Hi Frillsand I wanted to start off by saying I adore this au and love all the art you've posted for it..

Secondly and Sorry if this has been asked before but I was curious about how Wally in you au feels about his masculinity? I've seen a lot of people mention how the ai for him is insecure about it at times. The idea is very compelling I think too since I've seen many instances where men who are both shorter than average and enjoy things that our culture deems as feminine are seen as somehow less masculine.

In regards to Wally you've said he adores the attention he gets for being cute but has he ever been really frustrated at not being taken seriously because of it? Both as a man in general or possibly even a romantic partner?

Though as I think on it his diva personality could be interpreted as a response to not being taken seriously in general. People like Max have the option to lean in to the cultural expectations of masculinity and be taken seriously whereas someone like Wally needed to adopt the diva personality for it.

Sorry for rambling a bit I just thought it was an interesting aspect to the character and wanted to learn more! Hope your having a lovely day regardless!

Wonderful question , I’m so so so glad you asked. In regard to his masculinity, Wally is privately very insecure about his appearance not being “traditional”

I know I make a lot of jokes saying how fruity he is and honestly Wally has no problem with how he looked. But something about seeing the differences with him and other men, makes him self conscious.

He doesn’t have broad shoulders, he isn’t tall, he isn’t considered to be attractive in ways men want to be.

He’s always just CUTE.

What more can he do but go along with it, he’s cute, it’s a fact. And there’s times where the thought pisses him off.

Of course it doesn’t help that he loves doing things that can be considered feminine. His job being one of them, like his role in the show as a nurturing figure and his love for teaching kids. (Being flamboyant doesn’t help). He doesn’t care for gender norms and that helps a lot but not completely

Looking the way he does, comes with perks. He’s more likely to get things he wants and no one ever suspects someone like him can do wrong. Truly, he likes the way he looks, it’s just that he can’t help but think about what it would have been like to be different

He’s learning to accept it

I so wish I can ramble more , I want everyone to understand what’s going on in my head so badly but i can’t articulate my thoughts and I won’t be making sense

#wally darling #welcome home puppet show #welcome home actor au #wally actor au #diva wally #actor au #actor wally darling

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nagichi-boop · 1 year

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SHADOW IS WRITTEN SO WELL IN THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!

First of all, just him showing up to Amy’s party is a step up from his recent “I will do everything myself, I hate everyone, imma fight you” attitude that we have seen. Secondly, and idk if it was intentional, but him attending shows he cares about Amy. He’s always had a special place for her after the events of SA2, so it’s nice to see him showing up for something that maybe isn’t his style for her sake. (Parties aren’t really his thing, after all.)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

It’s also really sweet of him to go through so many lengths to try and get Amy’s present. I definitely don’t think he forgot to get her a present, he genuinely just didn’t seem to know that it was a social norm to bring presents to a birthday. If he really didn’t care, he either wouldn’t have gotten her anything or he would’ve given her a rushed gift. But no, he went through a lot of effort, basically foregoing the game, just to stall Amy so he could get her a present she would enjoy.

And not just any present - he remembered her mentioning a specific band she liked and that she hadn’t seen them live. This not only suggests he listens to her and remembers what she tells him, but also implies that he has had multiple conversations with her. Clearly he must have also done some research too since he knew that the tickets were going live soon. He thought this through, even if it was a bit last minute, and did his best to get the tickets (even though he admits to not being the best with computers, which is also nice because usually Shadow just insists he’s the best at everything). I also think it was sweet that he didn’t heavily protest Amy’s suggestion to see the band together. He hesitated, but then yielded. This…for a character who recently has been written to be quite selfish.

He seemed upset that he couldn’t keep this a surprise, but he also didn’t become enraged or lash out at Tails and MC/Barry. In fact, he didn’t really lash out at anyone at any point which is refreshing, since in most Sonic media that’s his go-to emotion.

Most of his expressions throughout the game are fairly gentle in fact. Sure, he doesn’t smile, but he also isn’t actively angry. And the one expression where he does seem a bit negative just seems like his resting expression, or at absolute worse just a little annoyed. He’s very mellow throughout the game and it’s refreshing.

Even after he has finished talking to Amy, Tails and MC/Barry, he offers to stay with them and help them with the investigation. Normally in Sonic media, Shadow has no interest in helping others and only really cooperates if there’s a mutual goal/interest. And even then, he tends try to do things on his own. But in this game? He actually cooperates, and what’s more, he goes out of his way to offer his help.

So far I’ve mostly talked about his attitude towards Amy. But what’s his attitude towards Sonic? People debate back and forth on whether Shadow hates Sonic and the recent games and media have made it seem like he does hate Sonic. But in this game? I wouldn’t say so. I mean, he’s literally hanging out with him and his friends and instead of having beef with Sonic, he just focused on making Amy happy. And even when the situation gets more dire and Sonic is found to be knocked out, he doesn’t make any snarky comments or anything. In fact, he actually helps to tend to Sonic’s condition, even if it was just checking his pulse. If he rly didn’t care, he would’ve left it to everyone else.

Man, I could talk for hours about Shadow in this game. I can’t believe this April Fools prank game is actually the best characterisation for Shadow we’ve had recently. He’s not overly aggressive, he isn’t selfish, he isn’t super edgy. He is still sorta cold, but he’s not rude or mean. He’s actually really kind (in his own way), putting his needs and desires on hold to make Amy’s birthday fun and to help everyone out. I seriously hope that Shadow is written more like this in the future and not like he has been. Maybe Sega wasn’t joking about taking on board the complaints of the fandom.

#welcome to Nagi rambles way too seriously about an April Fools day prank #sorry I’m not the best at explaining what I mean but I love how he is in this game #I love this game way more than I thought I would #shadow #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #the murder of sonic the hedgehog #tmosth #character analysis #analysis #nagichi talks #posts that popped off #long post

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etheries1015 · 5 months

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MC lives just as lonely as Malleus does, and he thinks to himself...perhaps they could be lonely together?

Loneliness was not something you were unaccustomed to, and perhaps your hopes got a little too high coming to NRC. Although you had Grim Ace and Deuce on the occasion, the majority of students pretended as if you did not exist. This was fine, you said. It isn't different than before. You were used to not particularly having many friends, keeping to yourself, and guarding your heart from the world. You could not be open as you had dreamed of being, for every time you had shown your true nature, being turned away from had become the norm in your life.

But loneliness can fester and turn into self-loathing, tears sprinkling down your cheeks as you sat on the little broken bench in front of Ramshackle, staring out into the dark emptiness of the worn-down garden that hadn't been tended to for quite some time. You could truly sympathize with the garden- perhaps a few people came here and there to tend to the flowers, yet eventually everyone leaves, desolate and alone the floral slowly wither away into nothing. Much as yourself, growing thorns around your battered heart, for being alone is better than being betrayed by the lies of those who claim to care.

However you convince yourself to continue on, choking down those ugly emotions by painting a smile and playing one big game of pretend- for nobody likes to hear the woes of a person known to be an optimist and the face of a proper prefect; their world or otherwise.

Malleus, however, knew that face all too well. He knew from the moment he first met you in the front gates of your run-down dorms, although you spoke to him like any other student, he could see you and him were alike; surrounded by fake smiles and false pretenses of friendship for their benefit or enjoyment. He understood the differences between realness and a front, a mask he noticed you often put on in front of everyone else. Yet with him... you were very much real, and honest, despite sheltering the deepness of your personality in the depths of your heart you hadn't made it a point to lie to the prince as you had gotten to become close to him. He desperately found himself wanting to know you- pulling apart the layers, he wanted to learn more about who you were, about the things you liked, how you felt, how to see the world, to finally rid himself of his loneliness by inviting another to share his burdens; and he was terrified of it all the same.

Malleus grew up understanding his duties and knowing the facade he had to put on in front of everyone else- he knew he had to be the perfect prince, a leader, the face of a country, and the spokesperson of his people. Yet around you...he was free to talk about anything and everything under the sun and moon without judgment, without fear of tainting his name, without the shackles of princehood holding him down. He had people fear him, running away at the simple sight of his horns, and avoiding him as if Malleus were the plague himself. He knew he was destined to be truly alone- that was, until he found someone to be himself around. Although you were often by your lonesome and kept to yourself, you had always found a way to lift his spirits, smiling at him with genuine interest rather than the plastic he was sick of staring at.

That is why he was utterly shocked when he found you staring at the garden, tears pooling down your cheeks with that same look he had been all that familiar with. He had quietly sat next to you on the bench, noticing your melancholic gaze not leaving the garden although you now had company beside you. Together you sat in the silence of understanding, until you had taken a shaky breath and choked out a feeble cry of help.

"I'm tired of being lonely," Was all you said. Malleus felt his hand creep over to yours, gently grasping it and squeezing it with a slight tremble.

"You do not have to be," He said, turning his emerald eyes to stare into your own, "I...am here now." You pursed your lips and nodded slightly, leaning your body against the tall Faes strong build. There was not much to say, not much to do, yet in contrast it seemed as if the puzzle had simple put itself together in one aura of familiarity and assimilation without verbal articulation .

Silence reigned once more...two solitary souls finding comfort in one another's presence.

...For however long it'll last.

#Twisted wonderland #twst #Twisted wonderland x reader #Malleus #Malleus x reader #Malleus draconia x reader #Twst headcannons #twisted wonderland headcannons #Tired of finding solace in video games #Kind of self induldgent ngl

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glossglamour · 28 days

Text

Full Robert Sean Leonard 'House'-a-palooza Interview: "As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina."

May 01 2006 | By Maureen Ryan

Do you watch the show much?

"I can't watch it. I mean, Hugh doesn't watch it because he's anal and … eight years old. [laughs] And by the way, I don’t buy it, I think he does watch it.

“I watched in the first year. We live in New York and [my fiancé] was in California] and she likes it because I’m on it. But then she left, she had to come back to New York, and what are you going to do? The idea of me watching myself on TV, alone in Santa Monica, was just about... just short of, like, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a shotgun away from shooting myself. [much laughter] So I haven’t watched it all season. But when I have watched it, I’ve been mildly confused and Hugh is appropriately grumpy."

I have this theory that a lot of my favorite shows aren’t even about what they’re supposed to be about -- they have to be set in a hospital or police station or outer space or whatever because the network can market that, but they’re secretly not even about that. Like, “House” is really about ethics and morality.

“Yeah, sure, I think that’s true.”

But you can’t pitch that show to the network. “Hey, we have this great show that examines personal morality!"

“‘It’s based on “A View from the Bridge.”’

Right! They’re really going to for that.

“Yeah. [laughs] I think it’s good, and when it’s right, when the show works, the mystery works. It has a Sherlock Holmes-ian feel to it, and you do kind of want to know what’s wrong with [the patients]. And it is interesting, the turns and twists that get you there. And there’s always a little bit of character-driven fun stuff in between, of who these people are and how they affect each other. And that’s it at its best. And I guess that could be true of any show.

“It’s tricky, you’ve got a lead character [who’s different from the TV norm] and you’ve got to be careful because those characters can be one-note. He’s the cranky guy, he’s the Australian guy, I’m the friend in one or two scenes a week. You just have to be careful, and I think we are, we have a really great team of writers. And the numbers are building, people are watching.”

So this two-parter on May 2 and 3, I think the unofficial subtitle is the “Festival of Foreman.” I guess they’re his Emmy episodes, and that’s fine. But you’re hardly in them, what’s up with that?

“Honestly, I’m okay. I don’t want an Emmy. This is what I want -- I know exactly what I want. I did play with a guy named Skip Sudduth, ‘The Iceman Cometh,’ seven years ago. I saw him five years later, and I said, ‘Geez, Skip, where have you been? I don’t see you at readings anymore.’ He said, ‘I’ve been on “Third Watch.”’ It sounded familiar but I’d never seen it. He said, ‘I’ve been doing it for five years.’ I said, ‘Holy crap!’ And he was back doing theater. That’s my dream.

“And it’s happening. I walk down the street and people say, ‘Where are you?’ and I say, ‘I’m on this show called “House.”’ My friend Lewis Black [from 'The Daily Show'] said, ‘What is it called? “Head”?’

“I’m okay. I’ve never been happier than where my career is now. And I don’t want it to change necessarily. Money’s good, and I’m glad I’m getting that, and I’m putting it away for later in life when I do more Tom Stoppard plays at Lincoln Center and make no money. But really, I’m great. I don’t mind working two days a week.

“Because those other guys, the Scooby gang, or the Mod Squad -- they are at that studio for 16 hours a day saying ‘tachycardia, lupus, blablahdeblah.’ Honestly, I’d kill myself if had to do those scenes for that long. I’m very happy with the size of my role, I don’t want it to get any bigger. I’m happy.”

So we won’t see the very special “House” episode where Dr. Wilson almost dies?

“That might be how I get off the show.” [laughs]

Well, you could die and come back as a ghost. Then it would be the “House Whisperer.”

“Yeah [laughs]. The hair makeup people were saying one day, ‘Oh, I love those scenes with you and Hugh, there should be more of that.’ And I’m like, ‘Shhh! Don’t say that!’ I’m the luckiest man in Hollywood. I work only with Hugh, pretty much, who’s great. And I work two days a week.”

Do you fly back and forth to New York then?

"No, not really. They don’t let me because they need me around, the schedule changes so much. I’m going to try to get away with that a little more [in the upcoming season]. Now that [my fiancé] is here, I really will kill myself if I’m out there as much as I was last year, without her.”

So five days a week you’re doing what – Botox injections? Going to the mall? Watching “Maury”?

“Rob Lowe once said the secret to being an actor in L.A. is sleeping as late as you possibly can and going to be as early as possible. I remember him saying, ‘I recommend pajamas by 4:30 p.m.’”

What’s interesting about this show is that they’re taken something that could be a very formulaic procedural and quite often turn it on its head.

“I didn’t know anything about TV, I’d never done [a TV show], but I now know very well that there are procedurals and character-driven shows. ‘Law & Order’ is a procedural and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is a character-driven show. The test [as to which category a show is in], someone once said to me, which I thought was hysterical, is this question: Did Sam Waterston sleep with [the assistant DA] on ‘Law & Order’? If the answer is ‘I don’t give a [hoot], I want to know the next element of the case,’ then it’s a procedural.

“Our show is weirdly, and there must be precedent for this, but it’s weirdly equally both. I think it’s very much a procedural, and without that sick patient every week, we wouldn’t work. And without the character stuff it wouldn’t work. And weirdly, people do care if House sleeps with one of our characters, and also care equally what’s wrong with this person and how they’re going to solve the case.”

I guess I like the character stuff better, but you’re right, it probably wouldn’t work without the suspense of the weekly case and somebody being critically ill.

“No, I think you need that. I think the echoes of Sherlock Holmes are too strong. The original idea of the show was House and Wilson, like Holmes and Watson. But it got away from that, and his team is Watson, if you want to be technical about it.

“I’m more like … the only way I’ve found to define it, and it’s so pretentious that it makes me want to jump out a window, is like King Lear’s fool. I’m like the only one who tells him the truth. And [Wilson] has nothing to lose. I don’t work for him and he doesn’t work for me. I’m the only character who chooses to be with him as opposed to being there because of a job. And because of that I have the freedom to tell him what I think. Not that Cuddy holds back much.”

I think her role is to say, "No! Bad House!"

“Have you talked to Lisa Edelstein [who plays Cuddy]? She’s so great. This Japanese woman once said to her, ‘You on “ER”!’ And she said, ‘I have been on “ER,” but now I’m on “House.”’ And [the woman says] ‘Oh yes, “House.” You say, “No, you don’t!”’ Every time we do the table read, I burst into laughter at some point, because there is the voice of that woman in my head, ‘You say “No, you don’t!”’ That’s the entire definition of Lisa’s character. Not completely, but we laugh [about it]. We have the same dilemma. We’re on this show that we’re … kind of on. Crew members say, ‘How long have you been on the show?’ ‘Uh, since the pilot.’ They really don’t know what we’re doing there.”

So in terms of the other stuff going on in your career, that’s going well, all the theater stuff?

“I’ve achieved everything I wanted to do. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Kevin Kline, Sam Waterston. I grew up watching the Public Theater and Shakespeare in the park and Marion Seldes. I mean, I may as well be gay.”

I’m not entirely sure you’re not.

[laughs] “But the thing is, I got it [i.e. his goals]. I’ve done 14 Broadway shows and got a Tony award, and now I’m making money and no one even really knows. I’m getting away with murder. If I come back to New York in two years and nothing’s changed, I’ll be thrilled. All I really want to do is [act in] plays, play with my dog, have kids. My desires are pretty simple. I don’t really want to do movies anymore. I’m pretty tired of camera acting.”

Why are you tired of camera acting? Is it the repetition of it?

“No, no, quite the opposite. We don’t rehearse enough. We do scenes where people barely know their lines, where people just about know their lines. In theater, you do it so many times and you get so familiar that then you can actually start having fun with it. And I really miss that feeling.

“It’s true of films too. I don’t know. I think I’m fine on film, but … I have walked offstage and thought, ‘Wow, no one has done that better. People may have done it as well, but not better.' I’ve actually had that feeling after ‘Long Day’s Journey Into Night,’ or a Shaw play or whatever. I’ve never felt that way with film. I always feel like, ‘Boy, Donald Sutherland would have done that a lot better.’ [laughs] I just don’t think it’s what I do best. I think I’m fine, but there are people who are eerily good at it. In all humility, of which I have none [laughs], that’s how I feel about my work on stage. I really do feel that I’m gifted at it.”

Just to change gears completely, what happens in the finale?

“Well, I think the finale is a bit of a cliffhanger. Something very exciting happens. It’s extremely exciting and freaky and I think it’s great. I can’t say what it is. You end this season very curious about how the next season is going to start. It’s a great final show and a big cliffhanger.”

So it seems like Hugh Laurie is so disparaging of his own talents. But he’s so good as House.

“Some people ask me, ‘Oh, why does Wilson want to hang out with House so much?’ and I’m like, ‘You idiot.’ [laughs] House is designed to be attractive! He’s brilliant, he’s self-deprecating, he has a limp. But yeah, Hugh hates himself and he’s very funny about it. There’s no better combination in my book. Like Lewis Black.”

But as an acting partner, he’s good to work with?

“Oh yeah. The thing is, with this part, Hugh has a huge obstacle he has to deal with, having an American accent. His problem isn’t our problem. We as the audience don’t have that problem, because what he doesn’t know is that he does it perfectly. But of course he doesn’t hear that. That’s why he can’t watch the show.

“When you’re doing an accent, you don’t feel like you’re interesting in the role. Even if everyone around is telling you that you are. And to be in a play is one thing, but to be on TV show that runs for years, I don’t know how he’s going to do it. To be that hard on yourself and be that disappointed in your own work. But as I said, and underline this four times, he’s wrong.”

And then he obviously hates when anyone calls him a sex symbol. You read his quotes when people ask him about that stuff and you can feel the embarrassment rising off the page.

“Yeah, he hates that stuff. And even more than the ‘sexy’ stuff, he hates the ‘you’re brilliant’ stuff. Of course there’s a part of him that likes him, there’s a part of all of us that likes that. [But him being hard on his performance], it’s not false vanity.

“I think Hugh does work he’s proud of and does work he thinks is good, I’m just not sure it’ll ever be this [show]. Having an accent… acting is letting go and forgetting yourself, it’s the opposite of ego. It’s flying away and getting away from yourself and forgetting. And when you’re doing an accent, it’s virtually impossible to do that.

“It’s hard when you're in a play, doing the same lines, the same way for eight months. Hugh learns 72 new lines a day and has to put an American accent on them. It really is an actor’s nightmare. I’ve done [with accents] Brian Friel plays, Martin Sherman plays, Tom Stoppard plays, and maybe five months into it you have a night where you kind of feel OK and kind of forget the accent and let go and let the scene happen. To have a strange accent in your mouth while playing a role, and then be judged for it, that’s hard stuff.

“And can I tell you, when you have dinner with Hugh Laurie [speaking in his real accent]… I miss that voice.”

Yeah. He called me once directly for an interview. I was expecting the publicist to put him through, but it was just that voice on the phone. I was sort of thrown for a minute.

“As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina.” [laughs]

---- [source (part 2)] | part 1 | part 3 ---

it took me two hours to track this interview down. it might be the longest one he's ever done. first i tracked it down to tumblr pages posting about it with no source please stop doing that. then i found a short youtube video of laurie saying "homina homina" on an snl skit i think and someone in the comments mentioned the site where the rsl interview was posted. however the site wouldn't let me in, i guess they took it down so i headed to archive dot org. i didn't have a specific link though so that didn't really work out either. then for nearly an hour i tried a wide range of word combinations on google until i stumbled upon a livejournal page of rpf hugh laurie/rsl fanfic. SOMEONE tysm karaokegal posted the exact link i was looking for in the comments. quick trip to the wayback machine and here you go!

i should be on those ethical hacking competition things

#house md #hatecrimes md #gg.txt #robert sean leonard #rsl #interview #source hunting success #hugh laurie #james wilson #gregory house #i nearly went insane #trying to find this thing #part 3 is an interview w katie jacobs #part 1 is general quotes #muted

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openconceptpanicroom · 7 months

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IMAGINE BEING AN: American student at JJK

2006!Geto x fem!reader

2006!Gojo x fem!reader

Summary: Your first few months as an American at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Shoko is the best.

Note: fluff, hints of pining, flirting, culture clash antics.

Coming in as the new girl is never easy. Especially not when you’re in a completely different country with different social norms and rules.

Sure, your Japanese was passable, but you weren’t conversational yet. And there were so many rules to follow when speaking to someone. It was enough to make you mute for the first two weeks of school. Sometimes guys would approach you and you would get excited, thinking they were flirting with you… only to find out they wanted you to tutor them in English. Other students were nice enough to only talk about you behind your back. American bullies are way more straightforward. It was sorta refreshing to just be politely shunned as opposed to being loudly excluded like you were used to.

The first person to be nice to you was Ieiri Shoko. She was laidback, knew a surprising amount of English, and could see you needed a friend. She taught you better phrases to use in conversation, “So you won’t sound like a freakin’ textbook,” she’d say. You started hanging out with her outside of class too. Shoko knew good places to eat and spots in Tokyo that weren’t terribly crowded. The only problem(s) were those two guys she had hanging around her all the time.

Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru.

Those two were the superstars of the school. Two students who were guaranteed to be the strongest sorcerers alive once they graduated. Everyone adored them, except for a few sensible people. You would ask about them sometimes. Mainly things like: “Are they like, always like that?” or “How do you stay sane around them!?”

Geto was polite. You could say that much. Other than that, you found him very intimidating. This tall, lanky young sorcerer with piercing dark eyes and that mocking smirk. He had some, uh, interesting thoughts about America. Nothing you hadn’t heard before. Americans were lazy, arrogant, thought the world revolved around them. What irked you was when he said that American sorcerers “mix too much,” with ordinary folk. The day you caught him staring at you, you left class to “go to the bathroom,” and just didn’t come back. It took a long chat with Shoko to be convinced he wasn’t going to corner you in an alley and kill you. Geto would speak to you only in Japanese, and he would speak slowly. Like you were an idiot. The nicest thing he had said to you in those early days was a bit conceited. He’d complimented you by saying, “I’ve heard of your family. They’re a modest bloodline, I wouldn’t have assumed you came from them… they must be proud of you.”

Gojo was the most irritating. Surprisingly loud and cocky, totally unlike most of the boys you had met so far. And, unlike most boys, he would not stop pestering you about American pop-culture. He knew absolutely no English, except for dated quotes or catchphrases from movies. Sometimes he would shout your name just so he could say something corny like, “Stay golden, Ponyboy.” You were certain he was making fun of you. And, like Geto, you were very intimidated by the most powerful student in school.

He also had no concept of personal space and had made it his mission to get you to talk. Which meant a lot of him popping up out of nowhere and slinging an arm around you. There were a lot of jealous girls that assumed you were dating. All he wanted was to have bragging rights that he got you to talk. Needless to say, Gojo was devastated when he found out Shoko was talking to you outside of class. It had been a nice day, Shoko was going to meet up with you at a park to get sorbet and chat. Then Gojo found her.

“She talks to you? To you?!” Birds took off to the skies. An elderly woman shot him a dirty look, dropping her handful of birdseed before hobbling away.

Shoko took a drag of her cigarette, “Yup.”

Gojo flopped down onto the seat next her. She hoped he wouldn’t be too obnoxious, this was a public park “But I was supposed to be the one to break down her walls!”

“Maybe if you weren’t so pushy, she would talk to you,” she deadpanned.

They continued to bicker, with Gojo insisting he had been nothing but an excellent ambassador of good will and Shoko calling him an idiot. You had showed up to hang out with Shoko, only to freeze when you saw Gojo. Just as you tried to sneak off, you bumped into Geto. This casual hangout with Shoko had turned into a foursome and neither boy was letting you weasel out of it.

Thankfully, Shoko kept you calm enough to have a good time.

With how sheltered Gojo had been, there were aspects of his own culture that were novel to him. There were lots of movies and tv shows that were new to you both. Not to mention junk food. Gojo needed Shoko to help him translate certain things, but he was actually a fun guy. He kept you laughing most of the time. If only he would stop hugging you from behind like he was your boyfriend. Geto was quiet, trying to absorb the sound of your voice. Listening to how you pronounced words in English and Japanese. He would never say it out loud, but he found your interest in the temples and folklore to be cute. He did join Gojo in teasing you. Both boys tried to get you to call them by their first name. Insisting “No, no! It’s fine! No need to be formal. We’re all friends now, right?”

You took a swig of yuzu flavored cream soda and said in Japanese, “I know what first names mean here. We aren’t close enough for that, people at school would think we’re dating.” With a pout you added in English, “And no hot guy is worth getting torn to shreds by a jealous fan club.”

Geto only leaned down to you, smirking as he said, (in English) “Then you can call me Suguru… in private.”

You gagged on your drink. This was how you found out Geto Suguru knew five different languages fluently. Gojo begged Geto and Shoko to translate what was said. You just focused on calming down. What a lovely start to an awkward friendship.

#jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jjk #shoko ieiri #geto suguru #gojo satoru #geto x reader #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader

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ravens-two · 3 months

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PAC: What's Beginning In Your Life?

This reading includes:

what's beginning in your life

what areas are being affected

synchronicities

The extended reading includes:

advice for this new phase of your life

what you should look out for

how to manifest these changes

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Queen of Wands, Chariot, Ace of Wands

"I know exactly what I want and who I wanna be" Oh no! - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Pile 1, your life is getting full of fire! You're gaining confidence and passion for your life and work. You're working to overcome limitations and explore your limits, how far can you go, how much can you push? For some of you I see that this is actually related to exercise. Perhaps you're going to the gym to get in shape and test your own boundaries and inner strength. For others this is about work or school. You have a goal in mind and you're working towards it. You know that things won't just happen to you, they require work and sacrifice and you're willing to make it. I see that for a smaller number you this is specifically about turning a hobby into a career. This could be something that you're very passionate about, let's say that it's drawing for example, and you've always dreamed about doing it as career, but never had the opportunity. You're now seeing that you have more experience, more stability and perhaps an opportunity to make it work now.

You'll also be feeling more inspired. It can be literally when it comes to art or to your work. Solutions for work problems just seem to come to you more naturally for example. Or this can be more about the way you see life. Do you know how Ghibli movies romanticize life? That's the kind of vibe I get from this. Instead of seeing cooking dinner as a dull chore, you'll start seeing it as an opportunity to try new recipes and be creative - or an opportunity to show your friends/family how much you love them by cooking them a meal.

The other main thing that's changing is your confidence. You're no longer hiding behind masks. You have come to the realization that the best thing you can do - for yourself and others - is being yourself, so there's no use in pretending to be someone else. You are then cultivating the confidence you need to be a more genuine and vulnerable version of yourself. This is the key to confidence really. It's all about not being afraid of being vulnerable. You might actually want to read about anti-fragility it's a really interesting theory.

On the other side of this confidence there's also a bigger connection to your sexual side. You're becoming more comfortable in your sexuality and sexual expression. You're no longer as bothered about people's perception about you and so you don't mind wearing the clothes that really make you feel good, for example. I also see you becoming more flirty and confident in your social interactions.

most affected areas of your life:

work, career, school, motivation, drive, hobbies, self-confidence

synchronicities: peacock feathers, champagne, bubbles, satin, cats, blue and green, 444, clouds, clover, Leo

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 2

Moon, Fool, Three of Wands

"You don't have to be like everybody else/ You don't have to fit into the norm/ You are not here to conform" Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Hey pile 2! These lyrics from your song seem to really apply to your pile and your reading. You're someone that always has been a little different, always wanted different things and saw the world differently. Unfortunately, this isn't always that well received by the people around us, and so you've been trying to mold yourself into the person you think you're supposed to be. An oh pile 2 I'm feeling that a lot of you have this problem specifically when it comes to your parents. Did you choose your degree or job because it's what your parens wanted? You're very much a people pleaser, pile 2, but more in a sense that you do it to pacify the people around you. Well, the biggest change I see coming for you is that you're coming to the realization that you don't have to conform to what other people expect of you. Based on your circumstances this can be difficult in a multitude of ways, but believe me that you'll feel so much happier living a life that actually feels true to you.

Another thing that is beginning in your life is a period of exploration and better mental health. For those of you who struggle with their mental health or stress and anxieties, you're entering a better and more peaceful phase in your life. This time is going to be less stressful and you'll see a lot of improvement in your mental health. When it comes to exploration it ties in a bit with the last paragraph. I see you trying to get to know yourself better. This could be journaling, shadow work, trying new things, listening to new music, trying a new hobby, new relationships, etc. Basically you're starting a journey to find yourself. And to that I'll say that you'll only find yourself by diving deep within. You have to explore both the light and the dark and confront and accept both of these sides of you or this exploration will be superficial at best.

This could all be tied in for some of you, or for others only some parts may apply. Either way, I also see an exploration of spirituality. You might be religious or not, believe in the divine or not (there isn't a correct answer truthfully), but the reality is that spirituality is an important component of the human psyche. I think that you're asking yourself these hard questions. Does a god exist? Do I believe in the religion I grew up in? What happens after we die? What's our purpose here? What do I believe in? You might explore different religions or practices, like meditation or prayer for example. For some of you this will be an exploration of the esoteric as well. You might learn and try witchcraft, paganism or folk practices. In the end, this pile is all about self-exploration which is great honestly.

most affected areas of your life:

personal development, mental health, psychologically, self-esteem, spirituality

synchronicities: the sea, seam foam, Aphrodite, seashells, fantasy movies, blankets and rainy days, old cd's, bumblebees, wildflowers, Aquarius

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 3

World, Two of Cups, Five of Swords

"Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self-esteem/ Gimme good and pure, what you waiting for?" Blue - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Pile 3 this is all about relationships and emotions. The first thing I'm getting is that you're reevaluating your relationships with others. Do the people around you love and respect you? Are these relationships fulfilling? Do people accept and respect your boundaries? And the other way around too. How are you in your relationships? Do you dedicate as much time and effort to these people/person as they do with you? Remember that it's always a two-way street. I feel like this might be motivated by a conflict in a close relationship that it will force you to reflect on these things. It might also be that you haven't been feeling that fulfilled in your relationships and it makes you want to investigate why this might be.

Another thing that you may be analyzing is if you should keep being friends with a certain person for example, even if your values/interests/lives are so different. What do you two get out of this relationship? It could be specifically about a relationship with a person that you've known for a long time, but now you two have changed so much that perhaps the relationship is slowly drifting apart.

With the Two of Cups here I do have to say that some of you might be getting into a new romantic relationship (or a partnership of some kind, including work). This could be someone that you met either recently or abroad and the people around you are a bit unsure about this person. They might think that this person is trying to steal you away, for some reason? Either way it feels that this new person is very different from the people currently in your life. For others of you, this could be more about reflecting what you want from a romantic relationship. Do you need it to be fulfilled? Are you happy in your current relationship? What do you think it's missing? What could you do to make it better?

Another thing that came up is that some of you might be traveling. For some reason I feel like this is a bigger stay, like spending weeks or months in another place and having to deal with the cultural differences that come with it. On the other hand, though, you also have to deal with the way that it will change you as well. When you get back you won't be exactly the same person that you were before. This time is really about finding people who get you, pile 3. I think that this will be the biggest conclusion for you.

most affected areas of your life:

relationships, love life, partnerships, inner conflicts, goals

synchronicities: cherries, feathers, white roses, lions, 22:22, golden hour, tulips, weather vanes, cotton candy, linen, heart shaped sunglasses, Libra

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 4

Eight of Swords, Four of Swords, Seven of Cups

"Life is a game that the universe plays/ We are the pieces in a puzzle called fate/ Life takes its time in its own fashion/ Emotions unfold like a superbloom in action" Highly Emotional People - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Hey pile 4! The first thing I'm seeing for you is realizing that a lot of the limitations that you see in yourself/your life were placed by you. What I mean is that you'll realize that some of the things that have been holding you back weren't anywhere else but in your head. I think that some of you specifically struggle with what other people think about you, you might even struggle with social anxiety. But that's the thing that's changing right, you're realizing that these things are in your head. It's your brain that puts these fears and limitations in place and they have no actual base in the "real world". I see that others of you are dealing with excessive daydreaming, procrastination, anxiety, fears, and imposter syndrome. No matter what you achieve you always believe that deep down you don't really deserve it. Again, these thought patterns are changing for the better. These things will stop holding you back as much as before. I stress the not as much as before, because these things don't disappear from one day to the other. You need to do a lot of continuous work to make these changes.

Your pile is quite similar to pile 2, especially because it's much more focused on your internal world. The things that are beginning in your life is a time of self-development and inner change. You're getting a better understanding of who you are. I see that some of you are working with your inner child specifically. You might be honoring the things that you wanted to do and be when you were child, this could even include watching and reading the movies and books you loved as a child. This effort to connect with your inner child will be both very healing and help to get you know yourself better.

One very specific message that I get for this pile is that I think that you guys are the daydreamers. You're always making up stories in your head, little scenarios as a form of escapism from the problems in the real world. This could even come from your childhood - hence the inner child work. The problem is that sometimes you become disenchanted with the real world and you would rather live in an imaginary world. What I believe is changing here is your relationship with your whimsy. You'll find a better balance between daydreaming and actually living. Not only that but you'll stop trying to escape what you're living and you'll actually become more integrated and living more in the moment and actually feeling things. You might also turn to art (or something else) to channel your imagination.

most affected areas of your life:

inner world, psychologically, self-development, personal changes, spirituality, inner change

synchronicities: Tolstoy, Tolkien, Chronicles of Narnia, ents, lions, yellow, gold, old books, moths, Ghibli Movies, moss, Pisces

Check out the extended reading on patreon

#tarot #pac reading #pick a card #tarot reading #pac #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card reading

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backwardsbread · 1 month

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Hello !!

Don’t mine me dropping in a request but I HAVE BECOME OBSESSED with your writing (it’s such a good way off letting off steam and the way you write the characters make it so bealive you can’t convince me u don’t work for vivziepop) ANYWAYS.

I was wondering if you could write headcannons for husk x oblivious!reader? Like basically EVERYONE in the hotel know that husk has a crush on the reader (even thought he keeps denying it) but reader is just oblivious to this. And like angel and alastor always tease him about this right in readers face and she just doesn’t get it which makes husk more flustered ? I HAVE FALLEN INTO THE RABBIT HOLE OF HUSKS DEEP VOICE 💔

(Reader could be gn or AFAB, really anything you are comfortable writing with :3!!)

Hope this reaches you in a good time :33 !!!!

You guys- everytime I open my inbox and see such sweet messages and AMAZING requests— MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT.

That being said, this prompt is GOLD. I hope I did it justice!

Hazbin Hotel:

Husk x Oblivious!Reader

Warnings‼️: none really? Light swearing, Lots of fluff, Fem!Reader, use of Y/N.

~Not proofread~

To me, Husk is almost insecure about his feelings.

He likes to keep things real and genuine, done get me wrong, but he’s constantly listening to other people’s drama and thoughts.

He’s a good source of comfort for the hotel guests, including you. Someone who will listen to you without judgement.

I think how he starts falling for you has to do with this. You’d stay up late nights with Husk while he closes the bar, often times turning the tables on him.

Asking him how he’s doing, what he did throughout the day, even something as simple as asking fun facts about him

Your guys’ game of 20 questions became a norm every night. Slowly you creeped over the walls Husk had put around himself. Something Husk didn’t realize you had done until it was far too late.

The warm feeling he gets in his chest after your guys’ interactions wells up into butterflies in his gut. It doesn’t take long for him to get feelings for you when you were always nothing short of perfect in his eyes.

Since he’s one to usually keep his feelings to himself, he tries to hide this from you and the other attendees of the hotel.

But once he actually realizes he has a crush on you, oh buddy, is he OBVIOUS.

His calm and cool demeanor shifting into anxiety whenever anyone brings the topic of you up or even dares to ask if you two are an item.

It doesn’t help that Alastor can read him like a book after many years of owning Husk’s soul.

Even so, Husk can’t help the way his voice and demeanor soften whenever interacting with you.

I can definitely see Angel noticing this next and making a SCENE about it. He didn’t mean to embarrass his friend, but he can’t help poking fun.

(Also, Angel was mildly upset that Husk hadn’t just told him about his feelings towards you. Angel would be the best wingman.)

Angel does try to set the two of you up frequently, trying to nudge you guys to make things official.

Except one teensy weensy issue.

You completely misunderstood Husk’s advancements towards you as friendly banter.

Confusing your own interest towards him as simple excitement to hang out with him.

Angel and Alastor find this hilarious

Both of them are able to openly tease Husk around you while you have no clue what they’re insinuating.

They just watch Husk panic as they outright call him out on his crush. While you just stare at them confused as if they’re telling an inside joke.

It drives Husk bonkers how you don’t seem to catch on to his flirting or feelings for you.

He honestly doesn’t know what was worst, you not realizing his feelings, or the fact you responded to his advances so nonchalantly.

Can you imagine Husk gets the courage to hold your hand or something, and you’re just like

‘Oh this is a thing now! Alright anyways-.’

And just move on as if nothing happened/changed.

He even asks you out on dates occasionally, but instead of it turning out as alone time, you end up inviting other hotel members.

And he just can’t say no to you so he’s left with joining a group dinner, with apologetic looks from Angel and amused grins from Alastor.

When Husks asks for it to just be the two of you, you assume he’s in an argument with the other hotel attendees.

“Oh are you in an argument with Angel right now? What happened?”

“Is Alastor pissing you off? I can talk to Charlie about it! She’ll get it handled.”

It drives Husk NUTS. Every innocent move you make leaves him even more flustered.

The fact that you don’t even seem phased by it leaves him feeling frustrated and kind of rejected.

Which was never your intent! You just didn’t understand your feelings for the ex overlord and his towards you.

————————————————————————

You were in Angel’s hotel room. He was picking out an outfit for you, throwing you in all different kinds of combinations. Different dresses with different styles, cute skirts and tops, jumpsuits, you name it. You enjoyed the little game of dress up he was playing with you, but you weren’t sure the exact reasoning for suddenly using you as a model.

“Okay okay, this one is so cute.” You walk out of Angel’s bathroom, a huge grin on your face. Angel looks over towards you, wolf whistling as he looks you up and down.

You were dolled up in a burnt orange dress that was bedazzled in rhinestones. The shiny stones making diamond patterns along the dress. It had puffy sleeves made of tool that fell off your shoulders. The dress hugged your waist and the skirt flowed out, reaching just past your knee.

You look at yourself in the full length mirror, doing a little spin to see yourself in full view. Angel approached you, making sure the zipper on the back of the dress was all the way up and secure.

“You look hot, toots! The color really suits you.” Angel compliment while you ruffled your hair to give it more volume. You giggle at his compliment, continuing to admire yourself in the mirror.

There was a timid knock on Angel’s door, making the spider demon grin and turn on his heel. You kept admiring your outfit in the mirror while Angel answered the knock.

“Right on time!” Angel said as he opened the door. You look in the mirror to see who was at the door behind you. Husk was there, grumbling a bit at Angel’s enthusiasm.

Your smile brightened, turning to look over at Husk. Once he got full view of you in that dress, he froze, his face flushing dark hues of magenta. Husk was also dressed nicely, more put together than usual. His hat not on its usually place between his ears, his hair done up nice, a burnt orange bow tie complimenting a new grey suit he was wearing.

“Hey, look, we match!” You exclaim, grinning ear to ear. Angel sighed while Husk blinked out of his tiny daydream.

“I- uh.. looks like we do.” Husk muttered, his embarrassment getting the better of him. You both stayed quiet for a bit, the anticipation absolutely killing Angel. After what felt like ages of silence, Angel went over to you, nudging you towards Husk.

“Ahem, (Y/N), Husk here was actually wondering if you would accompany him tonight. There’s this new place that he’s been dying to try. It’s got some real fancy food!” Angel gave Husk a look as he tried to get the ball rolling. Husk only blushed and looked towards you to see how you reacted to his- well Angel’s- proposal.

“Ooo! Sounds great! I’d love to. Are you coming too?” You questioned. The ask made Husk die a little inside.

“No, nope. I’ve got some uh..things to attend to! So just the two of you. A date, you could call it.” Angel clarified, giving a not so subtle wink towards Husk, who returned it with a glare.

You feel your face heat up and for some reason your heart seems to skip a beat. Just you and Husk? There was nothing wrong with that. But the idea excited you nonetheless. Now that you thought about it, it was rare you and Husk got time alone outside the hotel. Sure he had suggested going out often. But not on.. a date as Angel had suggested.

You smile, moving to link your arm with Husk’s, “Yeah! That sounds great actually.”

Husk looks surprised at your reaction, he was halfway expecting you to suggest inviting anyone else to the outing. He can’t help the grin that forms on his face.

“Well then.. let’s get out of here.” Husk says, guiding you out of Angel’s room. As the two of you are walking down the hallways, Angel calls out to the both of you.

“Have fun, lovebirds! Husk, don’t ruin that dress, it was expensive!” Angel shouts, making Husk flip him off, grumbling a bit.

“Are we eating messy food? I can change-..” You start, but Husk cuts you off.

“No- No, sweetheart, Angel is just a prick. Don’t worry.. let’s just focus on tonight.”

“Just us..”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin x reader #x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #husk #husk x reader

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lovelybrooke · 1 year

Text

Human Sully reader meeting the Metkayina Tribe.

This is how I would image the reader acclimating to the Metkayina.

Honestly, it was kind of a struggle to get the reader to Awa'atlu. While the Sully's definitely wanted to bring you, there was barley a discussion, they just knew they couldn't be without you.

However, Max and Norm didn't think it would be smart to take you with them. They knew the Metkayina wouldn't be too happy out a human being brought into their clan, so they didn't think it was safe for you.

At this point however, they didn't really have much of a say in where you go. Jake and Neytiri very much consider themselves your parents, so they feel as though they have complete authority over where you go. They knew they could take care of you, regardless of where they went. It was getting too dangerous in the forest, and Jake didn't want his family there anymore.

Like I said, there wasn't much discussion about you leaving with them, it just happened. Jake made sure to stock up on spare oxygen masks and any other things you needed before leaving. Since you didn't have an Ikran, you rode with Jake, even though it causes a fight between Lo'ak and Neteyam, who wanted you to ride with one of them.

It took a while, but once you arrived at Awa'atlu, you were instantly not welcomed. The Metkayina were not happy to see forest Na'vi, especially ones with demon blood. The moment they saw a human was brought along, they instantly wanted to send you all away, mainly Ronal. She was not a fan of humans due to what they had done to her people, and if it wasn't for Tonowari, you would've been killed right then and there.

It was safe to say that you were not welcomed in the clan. Even though your whole family wasn't welcomed, they eventually were able to become somewhat acclimated. You, however, were a human. You couldn't breathe long underwater, couldn't bond with an Ilu, and overall was completely isolated. Your siblings knew what you were going through, and always there for you. Kiri specifically would take you on walks around the shore so that you weren't stuck in the Marui.

It was during one of these walks that you met the younger Metkayina. Tsireya was very nice, which was a nice change of pace from the hatred you were getting from everyone else. Tsireya had this childlike curiosity towards you. She, unlike most other Na'vi, thought you were super interesting and quickly became close friends with you.

Tsireya was the one who introduced you to Aonung, who was not a fan of you. He, like he mother, hated the sky people, and didn't want them anywhere among his clan. He was smart enough not to mess with you in front of your siblings, but when you were alone, he did not hesitate to voice his hatred for you. He would pull your hair, prod at your body, poking fun at how small you were. He would even make fun of your poor Na'vi speak. He and his friends made a lot of your days miserable, but the worst was that you couldn't tell anyone about it due to the collective hatred surrounding you and your family.

Speaking of your family, you did a good job hiding the abuse you suffered from them. That was until Lo'ak got in a fight with him when he witnesses him messing with you, resulting in Jake getting upset. While he was happy his son was defending you, he knew he had an image to uphold, and attacking the chief's son was not a great way to gain the people's trust.

Aonung's bulling eventually died down, due to both Lo'ak and Tonowari. His father, while also not trusting of humans, knew that it was wrong what his son was doing. You were just a child and didn't deserve the treatment you were receiving, regardless of your heritage. Tonowari was more sympathetic to your plight and was grateful his daughter was there to befriend you.

Ronal despised you. She did not want you or your siblings anywhere near her children. She didn't understand Jake's and Neytiri's obsession with you, you were some random demons. In her mind, she saw you as someone trying to destroy her home. It didn't matter what Tsireya told her, in her mind she would never trust you.

Eventually, you were able to build a strong relationship with Tsireya she would take you out on her Ilu's and explore the reefs with you. Tsireya was more patient with you, knowing your limitations and would carefully guide you through the reefs and help you find pretty shells. Aonung did eventually become your friend but would still tease you, just not as much as before. Aonung and Lo'ak became your bodyguards, going everywhere with you. Lo'ak was always protective of you and was not afraid to hide it. Aonung was more embarrassed about protectiveness over you. He didn't understand, you were a sky person, a demon. There was no reason to be so hung up over you. But he couldn't help but become jealous when he saw you hanging out with one of the Sully children or with his sister. It all culminated with him basically demanding you to be his friend and ever since you were always with him.

Tonowari is a good father. A good mate. So, of course he feels bad when he sees you and feels a sense of yearning. He wonders if this is what Jakesully felt when he saw you for the first time. If he felt the same care and longing. He knows it's not right, to care so much about a demon, but he can't help it. Tonowari worries about you always and will always keep an eye on you whenever you travel into deep water with one of his children.

Regardless of how much he cares for you, he will never act upon it in respect for both his mate and Jakesully. He knows what fatherhood can do to a person and would never take that away from him. He instead, chooses to remain content protecting you from the sidelines and making sure no harm ever came to you.

A/n: Please send me any ideas you have for the Metkayina, I would love to hear it.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #yandere sully family #sully family x reader #sully family #yandere avatar way of water #avatar way of water x reader #yandere avatar #avatar way of water #avatar

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zarekthelordofthefries · 4 months

Text

BG3 Companion Sexuality Headcanons

Astarion: Pansexual. Has a slight preference for men. Has a complicated relationship with feelings of attraction and connection, so doesn't usually like thinking about his own sexual identity. Thinks Wyll is the hottest other party member.

Lae'zel: Pansexual, kind of. Doesn't really relate to sex and gender in the same way as the Faerunian companions. Githyanki socially de-emphasize romance, and all sex is generally for pleasure since Vlaakith decides who bears eggs. Lae'zel is alloromantic, but romance isn't generally at the front of her mind in a relationship. Neither is gender; ultimately Lae'zel is attracted to conviction and fighting prowess, moreso even than anything physical.

Shadowheart: Bisexual. Very slight preference for men. (EDIT: I've rotated this in my mind after people pointed it out and I think actually Shadowheart has a slight preference for women.) Remained closeted into adulthood, not because the other Sharrans would discriminate against her (they generally don't care about sexuality) but because she wanted to impress everyone with how well she could keep the secret. Also, excessively kinky.

Gale: Bisexual. Has more experience with women than with men, but that has more to do with circumstances than preference. Though physical appearance isn't not a factor, he would probably describe himself as a sapiosexual; he's attracted to knowledge, intellectual curiosity, and strong opinions. Had crushes on several teachers in wizard school.

Wyll: Bisexual. Realized he wasn't just attracted to women at a young age, and his father was very supportive. No preference between genders, but one of his favorite things to do is court gentlemen exactly the same way he courts ladies; he likes being the devoted chivalric prince to men since he knows it's less common for them to be flattered and told they're beautiful.

Karlach: Pansexual. Years of being unable to make genuine connections with anyone have made her horny for affection, kindness, and commitment. Maybe had some gender preference before going to Hell, but her time there has given her lots of time to consider basically any options. Has at least a slight crush on basically every other party member.

Halsin: Pansexual. No gender preference. Halsin has had centuries to explore his sexuality, and his robust understanding of nature gives him a non-binary perspective on gender and sex. Nothing is a casual fling for this dude, though -- if you show the slightest bit of interest in him he will dedicate his whole heart to you. And also anyone else who shows interest in him at the same time.

Minthara: I didn't actually have Minthara in my party, but from what I've seen she seems like a pretty traditional drow, and when I think of drow and sexuality I sort of imagine a reverse of ancient Greek customs; bisexuality is the norm, men are prized for their beauty and for marriagibility, but it's expected that women will also have flings with other women, and those relationships are often considered more meaningful. I imagine Minthara follows those lines, being bisexual and assuming she may one day marry a beautiful man but being more inclined to meaningful, affectionate relationships with women, due to her own prejudices moreso than preference between genders.

Jaheira: Thought she was straight for the first century of her life, but has more recently opened up to other possibilities. Isn't particularly interested in marriage or a deep interpersonal romance at this point in her life, but she has entered a state of questioning her sexuality -- she's just not super interested in experimenting with actual relationships. She's got more important stuff to do. Did have a fling with Ninefingers that neither of them tell anyone about.

Minsc: Doesn't like labels. Minsc isn't interested in finding a partner, doesn't really care about sex, and is enthusiastic about romance mainly when other people do it. He hasn't given a lot of thought to where he might fall on any sexual/romantic spectrum, but he definitely sees beauty in all of his friends. He will give you the most heartfelt and often embarassing compliments on your personality, style, and appearance. Does that mean he's attracted to you? Maybe, maybe not, but there's definitely something queerplatonic going on.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #dungeons & dragons #original content #minsc #jaheira #shadowheart #wyll ravengard #karlach #halsin #minthara #gale of waterdeep #lae'zel #astarion #surprise they're all bi/pan #playersexual discourse is the devil to me and it can get out of my house #bg3 headcanons

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torukmaktoskxawng · 1 month

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Hey I was wondering if I could make the request of an Aonung x human reader who has a bunch of norse tattoos and he's curious about them?

(Adult Ao'nung by @cinetrix2)

Pairing: Ao'nung/Human!Reader (can be seen as platonic)

Warnings: Cute. Fluff. Aged-up characters. Reader can be seen as gender-neutral since gender is not mentioned.

Taglist: @mooniequeen @avatar-lover @taronyuhunter @alinacecee

A/n: I hope you know that by making this request, it got me thinking of getting another tattoo. When I started writing this, I ended up going to a friend's house the same night and begged her to give me an Avatar tattoo. Pic Here.

~~~~~~~~~

With Jake and his family as full-fledged Metkayina now, the reef people have slowly become accustomed to human allies coming and going from their island whenever Toruk Makto gives them a call.

As the years progress, both species actually begin to mingle a bit, and eventually, a small, human settlement finds its way to Awa'atlu. You were the first to live on said settlement, assigned to it by Norm because both he and Jake agreed that your expertise belonged on the island and the Metkayina have grown to know and trust you.

Among those who have gotten to know you were none other than the olo'eyktan's son, Ao'nung. And while it was clear that the two of you were friends, there was still a mystery about you that he had not yet discovered, and that was your physical appearance, specifically your tattoos.

You had several, more than anything Ao'nung had seen on Sky People before, and that was just the tattoos he could see peeking out from beneath your clothes. While some of your ink kind of resembled Ao'nung's, he noticed they took different shapes and didn't have any Na'vi significance that he knew of. Regardless, your tattoos were a small part of why the Metkayina trusted you more than other human allies, simply because you visibly had something in common with them, and he often wondered if yours bore any sort of significance like his does.

"Do all Sky People have tattoos?"

Looking up through your breathing mask, you catch Ao'nung's curious gaze while sitting comfortably in the sand as you work on identifying a rock for your research. Looking back down at your datapad, you reply, "No. Not all."

"Do they only get them when they're of age?"

"No, we usually get them whenever we feel like it," you snort, recalling getting your first one at seventeen, despite the laws stating you needed to be eighteen where you lived at the time. Your mother nearly fainted.

Ao'nung frowns in disbelief, "So there is no meaning?"

"Some tattoos have meaning. Others don't."

"What about yours?"

Your smile is genuine, beaming in a way one does when talking about their favorite interests, "Mine resemble my heritage. Where I come from."

Watching the confusion only grow on the young Na'vi's face, you further explain by pointing out your tattoos, starting with the key-like shape inked into the front of your neck, "It's a Nordic rune. It represents perseverance."

You then peer down and present your arm to Ao'nung, pointing out the tattoo on the inside of your forearm, "Vegvisir."

The word that left your lips sounded so strange to Ao'nung, his ears instinctively twitching at the pronunciation. Looking down at the tattoo on your arm, observing the intricate line work before peering back up at your face, he waits for you to explain the significance, and you do,

"It's meant to appear as a wayfinder. To help the wearer not get lost and find their way home. It's a symbol of protection and guidance."

Your hands then reach up to the collar of your shirt and pull it down to reveal one of your favorite and more prominent tattoos. Ao'nung's eyes widen at such wonderful artwork. At the center of your collar, just above your heart, was the picture of a beautiful, intricate tree, the branches meant to twist and form Celtic knots into the ink, the roots of the tree running down your sternum and disappearing into your shirt.

"This is Yggdrasil."

"Eggdrazil?" Ao'nung felt his own tongue knot itself just trying to properly pronounce the word, but even he could admit it sounded wrong coming out of his mouth.

"No," You laugh lightly while slowing it down pronouncing it to the best of your ability in a Na'vi accent, "IG-drah-sill. It's the Tree of Life. I'm not sure how else to explain it without sounding preachy or confusing, but... it's kind of like your people's Spirit Tree, in a way."

His eyes widen with surprise, staring down at the tree tattoo with newfound fascination at the idea that a human culture could be so similar to his own. Slowly reaching out, his fingers press into the ink on your collar, and you stubbornly stay still, refraining from the pleasant shiver that threatened to run down your spine at the contact.

Inspecting the tattoo with both his fingers and his eyes, Ao'nung finds himself thinking out loud, muttering under his breath, "They almost resemble what a warrior would wear."

You find your smile unapologetically twitching with amusement, "Well, technically, that's exactly who my ancestors were. Warriors."

Ao'nung's curious eyes finally meet yours again, excuding confidence, "And you as well."

Your smile melts into something more genuine, "And me as well. Just like you."

His lips curl into a smile of his own.

~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST

RULES

REQUEST

#ao'nung #ao'nung x reader #aonung x reader #aonung #ao'nung fluff #ao'nung x you #aonung fluff #ao'nung imagine #aonung imagine #atwow #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #atwow imagine

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lurkingshan · 1 month

Text

Unknown Episode 7

What a pitch perfect separation episode; this show continues to kill it. The loneliness and heartache was practically wafting out of my screen this week, and it made the time apart feel real and meaningful even as it came to an end relatively quickly in show time.

Qian hardly said a word this episode, but we know exactly how devastated he was to be without Yuan because his despair was present in every moment. It was in the way he always looked drawn and tired, the way he moved so listlessly, they way he seemed to be constantly self-soothing with substances, the way he kept getting lost in his head and staring off at something only he could see. Even when he got it together a little at San Pang's urging, he focused his efforts on keeping Yuan's room tidy and every mention of Yuan by a friend or acquaintance still caused pain to bloom on his face. His home was too quiet without his siblings and he missed them both, but his yearning was specific to Yuan and he was not just lonely, but heartsick. He was tense for this entire episode--right up until the moment he was finally able to lean on Yuan, take a breath, and relax.

For Yuan's part, he did his best to honor his brother's request, and used his time away to better himself. He took school seriously and worked diligently so that he would be able to come home some day. He respected Qian's boundaries, only contacting him on holidays and never pushing for more communication than what Qian was willing to grant him. Lili came home on every school break, but Yuan stayed away as requested. And his patience paid off when Qian finally relented and invited him home. The way he stepped out of that cab (bangs parted now so we know he's matured) and immediately reasserted his role in Qian's life felt important; he's not coming home with his tail tucked between his legs. He's important to Qian and he still has a role in this family and he is confident about that. Qian calmly letting himself be led away and falling right back into their old caretaking patterns said it all; Yuan has been missed.

I am interested to see how the show goes about revealing the Lili and San Pang relationship, which seems to have started sometime during this time skip, and how that will play into the larger repair of the family bond. They did not have a romance in the novel, so I'm curious to see what narrative purpose it will serve here. I appreciated that San Pang realized quickly that separating Qian from Yuan didn't actually help him at all; he'll think twice before interfering again. Lili, meanwhile, still doesn't know the cause of the fracture between her brothers, but most of the people around Qian seem to understand how Yuan's absence is affecting him. I liked the scene with Xiong Da Fang, which was a nod to his story in the source material (in the novel we actually saw him take that vow of monkhood and try to live that way for awhile before coming back to go into business with Qian) and a much needed reminder of who Qian is. The show is surrounding our little family with people who understand them and get why Qian and Yuan's bond is so different from the norm. They will need that community as their relationship continues to change.

#unknown the series #taiwanese bl #shan shouts into the void

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