#that has shaped me into a fucking person

[nebuladreamz]

What if I was a little fucking insane

#nebula rambles #the audacity of this bitch #yes i used to edit audios when i was like younger #yes it was because i saw that one person who voiced foxy in the fnaf hidden lore creepypasta videos do a tutorial #that has shaped me into a fucking person #anyways this will be fun to share

[vaguely-concerned]

there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club

#star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #odo #julian bashir #elim garak #(I personally think we should put their dads in a cage match and let them kill each other. tain would probably win #but we could just shoot him after he claimed that victory. I Would Like To See It) #the triumvirate of bad dads to karmically oppose the sheer power of good dad vibes benjamin sisko has #specifically dads who Cannot and Will Not allow the healthy individuation of their sons into whole separate people #apart from what their father's hands have shaped them into #where that is one of the first things sisko accepts and realizes he must allow jake to do right at the early seasons #the bad dad club boys seem more specifically forcibly held in place to serve as mirrors for their fathers #and have to find ways to break away from that in more or less graceful ways; breaking off more or less important parts of themselves #to do so #dr mora seems to have a 'oh fuck.' moment where he sort of realizes what he's done #but the sympathy that gains him from me is hm. neglible lmao at least tain is basically fully just a monster #what's your excuse mora #I haven't met bashir's dad properly yet but I've seen enough to suspect I'm not going to be very charitably inclined towards him either

[bigfatbreak]

warmup of the day is: you fuckers are lucky i didnt let her destroy your asses

#ooc #my art #anyway. how the fuck did we run an entire store with such a skeleton crew lol #as a note we usually run it with a 20 man crew #this was today. btw. so if i die soon you know why #also my sister legit has a moon shaped scar on her forehead #shes also the only other person besides me that still masks up

[blujayonthewing]

#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture? #where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses? #blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings? #and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like... #it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france. #like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS?? #I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she' #'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

[starjunkyard]

"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.

#house md #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #johan being crazy about yaoi md #johan's mindpalace #Im crazy #like im tearing up #this scene is so romantic it genuinely makes me nauseous #the lowlight setting the lingering stares the soft little smile a dam thats finally broken #I need a 12 gauge bullet in the thigh #Please watch this scene screencaps do not do it near enough justice #do you know whats so genuinely actually sickening #its been months since i finished house md #and i have not watched a single show that has managed to fill even a quarter of the gaping bleeding hilson shaped hole in my heart #shows that have actual gay people actual representation and not a single one has managed to alter my brain chemistry the way hilson has #since day 1 episode 1 #Like its actually nauseating a little its so over for me for the rest of my life #Like im actually never recovering #people say “they dont make xyz like they used to haha” But Guys they Genuinely dont #Im going through withdrawls #I need my yaoi cocaine so bad but my plug died 12 years ago and i cant fucking Move #House md capital of fatphobia homophobia transphobia early 2000s edgy humour outshining modern shows with actual rep like im sick #Its not even because i want to like i feel like there are worms in my brain. I feel like ratatoullie if the rat was evil #This is not what the stonewall riots were for #I feel like so nausous why couldnt i be crazy about an actual gay pairing like a normal gay person. Im gonna throwup #Why couldnt i like music and girls #Its not even that house md is objectively logically better than these shows like no. Im just crazy #Im so sick they make me so sick i feel like there are worms in my head. My head #Dont know when i will ever be onorlmal again. Sorr

[quietwingsinthesky]

Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!

There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!

I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)

And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.

#there’s a whole other bit to this about how like. it’s hard for fandom to hold the idea that someone can be both a victim and abusive #at the same time. that the ways someone has been hurt don’t always shape them into kindness and wide-eyed sympathy. occasionally it just #makes them hard to live with. and I think most obviously is the thing that a lot of what Dean does is an expression of love. of protection. #he’s very much his father’s son in that way. that’s why Sam. the guy he’s been Told to protect his whole life. is also the person he ends up #hurting the most. it’s tragedy. it’s realistic. it’s a good fucking mess. #and that’s why I don’t get interpretations of dean that are determined to shave off the ugly parts of his character. to me those are the #parts that make him a character worth revisiting. he’s so full of love. and he uses it to hurt people. he means to sometimes. a lot of the #time he doesn’t but hurts them anyway. he has been shaped by violence his whole life. and it’s just. I get why someone might take this #part of him away. to make him easier to love. because I get that he’s stressful to watch also like I get that. but he is. #he is compelling. in his anger and his controlling behavior and his strangling love. he is compelling in all the ways he has become this. #Dean’s degradation into these behaviors can be both a failure of a show that ran to long but also the believable trajectory of a man who #can’t heal. and I love him for that. I love him for emerging from pain as a angry sharp thing. I love that it brings the glimpses of him #being gentler and recognizing his actions as bad into stark relief. I love that this recognition often only lasts until he is hurt again and #then he backpedals into the safety of behaviors he knows will allow him to control a situation through force or manipulation. #it’s good fucking mess. you know? dean winchester everybody. #maybe I should have put all that in the main post. oh well. too late now. #spn #dean winchester #tw abuse

[goldenstarprincesses]

A. Kirkland- Pitbrow Woman, '81

In the last month or so, my interest in nyo!England has blossomed. Yet, I have long disliked the canon stylization of the character.

Ms. Alice Kirkland has never been one to shy away from physical labor or the harsh realties of her own people. Even at the height of her international power, it was rare that- unless directly requested by the monarch or prime minster- that she lived among the aristocrats for long periods of time. A stark difference between her and her French counterpart. While her rebellious days as a sailor were behind her, throughout the 1800s it was not uncommon to find her either in the mines, in a factory, or tending to her own country estate farm.

References and Inspirations bellow cut, Programs used: MS Paint and Krita

I could not have done any of this without these references.

#don't zoom in to close are you will see all my fucks ups that I just gave up trying to fix lamo #Things I googled for this “when did large industrial chains become common” #It's 1880 btw #worked so longer to figure out patterns only for it not to show up at all on the apron #and I am so sorry to all plaid lovers and all of Ireland and Scotland #I have shakey hands and my lines turned out horrible but by the time I saw how bad it looked I was on day 3 and was in to deep to change it #she is standing on the rocks cus she like to be tall #but man the first ref. photo has helped me learn how to draw arms and shit #bless it #fingers and face shape are the things I for sure how to keep working at #the ankle to the foot as well #lots of crap actually #god this is so bad haha but Im tired of looking at it #she is still a colonist not good person shithead #alice kirkland #hetalia #hws england #historical hetalia #hws france #hws #my art #hetalia fanart #hetalia axis powers #aph england #hws alice kirkland #MS Paint #krita #nyotalia #hws nyo england #nyo England

[batfamfucker]

There are four main types of Batfam fans in regard to how people interpret Bruce Wayne as a dad (/Joking. This is mostly satire and should not be taken seriously):

Fans that think Bruce is emotionally constipated and isn't the best at being a parent but still tries (Differs per person). Don't necessarily think he's absuive but thinks he can be toxic or have unhealthy expectations for the Robins. Can smell the Oldest Daughter Syndrome coming from Dick and have Family Line (By Conan Gray) as their top song on their Dick inspired playlist and Daddy Issues (By The Neighbourhood) for Jason.

Fans that choose to believe Bruce goes to therapy in their own canon. Love B:WFA. Thinks the comic can be cheesy at times and so find a balance between B:WFA Bruce and Please Go To Therapy BruceTM as their middle ground. He struggles. They advocate that Bruce is not a bad parent, he just has bad writers that seem to forget Bruce wouldn't hurt kids, especially not his own. Love the humane moments and scenes he has in BTAS and the early JL cartoons. He may not be perfect but he's not literally abusive. Whores for Bruce being able to admit when he is wrong and for Jason and Bruce reconciling. I recommend Grow As We Go by Ben Platt for this one.

A mix between the first two. Was fine-ish when Dick was younger. Didn't help him in the healthiest way but eh. Still emotionally constipated but that happened more so after Dick left and Jason died. Started getting better when Tim came back but was still closed off. Should probably go to therapy with the kids so they can drag his ass about all the things he's done that have actually affected them negatively. Understands his mistakes and is also able to admit when he's wrong, eventually. It's not easy but he starts to do better and learns to be more emotionally available. Still has to get chewed out by Alfred sometimes but definitely better than he used to be and it shows. Reconciliation is slow and gradual but progress is made for everyone involved.

The one's I personally avoid for my own sanity and wellbeing:

Think Bruce is a complete bastard and abuser. Want him to choke. Hate any and all interpretations of him. Some of which will refuse to understand how anyone could have a different interpretation. Will point out comics where, in all fairness, he is a dick but forget that characterisation can significantly differ from one series to the next, as comic characters are constantly passed around to different writers and have been for decades. Not to mention movies, shows, etc.

#Bruce Wayne #Batman #Batfam #Batdad #I'm not tagging everyone in the Batfam I can't be assed #Sorry there's like 500 #Bruce has a child for every mental disorder he has #Dick is his ADHD. Jason is his C-PTSD. Tim is his Anxiety. Cass is his OCD. Damian is his Autism. #Like bro the therapist is RIGHT there #You have the money just GO #I am a mix of 2 and 3 tbh but more so 2 because he is my comfort fictional father figure. I already have a shit dad irl #I'm not dealing with it in my favourite media too #Type 4 fans scare me I lowkey see so many people like that and I'm like. If the block button wasn't free. I'd be in debt by now #I get that you saw Tom Kings work. So did I. I hate that fuck. But I personally prefer the scene of him in JL with Ace on the swings #Or the one with him playing with shape block toys with a baby whilst Supes and WW handle the questioning #Or when he hugs literally any of his kids #Or the one of him and Jason watching a movie and eating popcorn when Jason's ill. And they have the picture of them posing #Or when he cried in Flashpoint over the letter his dad left him because the little boy in him needed that #Plus any time Bruce and Clark interact as Best Friends. The Golden Age comics where they were basically Dick's gay dads 💀 #But yeah. I could make a poll from this tbh. #This is a generalisation on purpose genuinely do not take it seriously #If I see ANY disclosure. It's delete and block on sight #Bruh I'm still recovering from the notes of my Fallout 4 John Hancock in a Drag Race outfit crossover post #I know it sounds like I'm being paranoid but that's because I am. You have not seen the things I have seen in my notes #You do not know of the wars I have fought of over ghoul dicks and high heels #I have seen things I can never burn from my vision. Read things I will never have the mercy of forgetting #Over silly little shitposts. Lmao. Anyway. Here. Have some food.

[steorransaluki]

welp. fuck.

#talking #veterinary tw - #just like.... general tw for negative dog health stuff in these tags #I had my step mom take cooper to the vet for me while and I was at work #and he's...fine. for now. #hes got a lot of fatty tumors which we knew about #but one has been weird so thats why i got him the appt #and they didn't aspirate it today (my step mom wasn't sure if i wanted them to) but the vet is highly suspicious it's malignant #so thats fun. #I'm okay personally bc he's not showing any symptoms but i mean.... I cant imagine he's got very long just looking at this thing #its flat “pancake shaped” and about the size of my hand on his ribs #I know hes old. i knew something would be coming. but fuck. #this sucks

[adri-atics]

Was anybody going to tell me last 200 pages of The Great Hunt were absolutely life-changing incredible or was I supposed to find that out by losing my shit on a plane myself?

#spoilers in the tags for wheel of time book 2 #yall this book-- #THIS FUCKING BOOK #Robert Jordan was a genuine GOD of writing #TEOTW was a bit slow but this???? #this has shaped me into a whole new person #first just the egwene rescue squad was top tier I would die for every single one of the girls #and then the Team Horn #just #absolute chaos #“the horn needs to be in Illian for tarmon gai'don but it doesn't say anything about it being sound earlier” #PEAK COMEDY #Mat my BELOVED never change #anyway ever since I finished this like a week ago I have not been able to stop thinking about these books and I am not complaining #started tdr immediately after and will continue on tuesday!!! can't wait to lose my shit all over again #god bless wheel of time #the great hunt #wheel of time #wheel of time books #tgh #robert jordan

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard* #I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details #of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point #but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag #of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there #are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance #but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly #doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. ) #the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead #of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like #you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image #or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i #wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol) #hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe #I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing #that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc #eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that #this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently #wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj #Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU #CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN #MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie* #Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol #I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it #with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits #and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit #out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the #unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh #re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI #art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA

[bylertruther]

going through henry's tag and experiencing psychic damage with every third post saying some of the craziest shit you've ever heard in your entire life, because the idea of henry targeting will the way he has since season one suddenly makes liking henry too uncomfortable for some people, leading them to engage in insane mental gymnastics trying to twist canon this way and that, even though that's what the story has been leading to this entire time and the show literally told you multiple times from four different character's mouths, one of which was henry's own, that that was indeed the case lol

#reading someone's theory and going 'omg! are they gonna finally say it was henry that kidnapped will in s1? :O' #only for them to finish with 'so CLEARLY it was the mind flayer 🤔' LIKE CMONNNNNNNN #LMAOOOO #personally him being disgusting and irredeemable evil is what makes him compelling 2 me idk i love being repulsed #i love characters that say Fine. Everyone Is A Monster To Someone. Since You Are So Convinced That I Am Yours; I Will Be It. #i love characters that damn themselves i love characters that are broken beyond repair i love characters that are too far gone i love #characters that never stood a chance i love Characters #we literally see him shape and wield the mind flayer and hear him confirm that it was ALWAYS him and the duffers even confirm that it has #always been henry behind the mind flayer AND STILL. SOMEHOW. PEOPLE THINK THAT HENRY WAS JUS ASLEEP WHENEVER IT COMES TO WILL #like. hello. for the love of fucking god can you put some respect on that freak's name. he is not stupid he's calculated and far more #intelligent than them all literally and canonically he has been sitting on this for YEARSSSSS DECADES EVEN #like. i just. hello. for the love of god hello

[hella1975]

.

#be deadly fucking serious rn PLEASE whatttt. that post that's like 'parents will say something that shapes you as a person #but for them it was just another tuesday' like WHAT JUST HAPPENED #basically if you've been following me since i went to uni then you know first year was an... interesting time for me and my mum #we rowed all the time and it's the most unsettled our relationship has ever been and i do truly believe it was just some unfortunate #external factors like me leaving home would rock the boat enough it was always gonna rejig our dynamic #but on top of that i was her LAST child to fly the nest which she hated AND my sister was in germany being insanely dependent on my mum #so i got sidelined a lot which was shitty at the time but i get it now like im still a bit bitter bc being the eldest everything my sister #does is an exciting first and our age gap means typically our academic big moments tend to cross over #so my a-levels happened during her first year of uni so for me a-levels were the biggest thing ever but ofc her thing was bigger #but when she did HER a-levels it was the biggest thing ever and i was /just/ doing gcses etc and germany was the same #like it was JUST my first year of uni bc meanwhile my sister was living alone in a foreign country. so that sucks and my mum was #defo focused on my sister and i wasn't in a position to be like 'hey i know it doesn't seem like it now you've got one kid through it #but going to university and settling in for the first year is still an insanely stressful and lonely time so please pay attention to me' #and all in all me and my mum just STRUGGLED we fought A LOT and not petty rows either they were really emotionally heavy all the time #and basically what's caused this post is that she said about america 'it'll be the longest ive been away from you' #and i know what she meant like a month out of england is the biggest thing ive ever done and im not even in EUROPE so this is huge #but i kinda said like 'im pretty sure i went a month in first year a couple times without visiting?' AND I MEANT IT CASUAL #BC I AM PRETTY SURE IT'S TRUE LIKE I WASNT EAGER TO GO HOME I WENT SOME WEEKS NOT EVEN RINGING #which REALLY shows how strained it must have been at the time. and she responds with confusion so i pointed out that first year #wasn't a great time for us and again still being casual bc it's such a fundamental truth for me that first year was Bad for me and mum #and she just blinks at me like 'what are you talking about' what. WHAT. like i knew she wasn't paying much attention to me then #but it made me MISERABLE for an entire YEAR like boom can testify bc they had to deal with my bs over the phone the entire time #and my mum just. didn't even notice that we weren't doing well. what. what the fuck even..... baffled by this actually #like i am REELING from this i feel like she just tipped the fundamentals of my world with that #hella goes home

[soldier-poet-king]

In the euphoria of it being Friday and getting to leave work early and go home and play bg3, I had forgotten the absolute most horrifying thing my father said to me this morning

"you're starting to sound a lot like your mother" and given my parents marriage this has the added implication of (derogatory)

I'm just ???? HELL IM IN HELL?? I am 27 how tf is my voice apparently changing, is this puberty part 2??? Like? Is it not enough that all my mother's relatives think I'm her spitting image and CONSTANTLY remind me of that fact (but ofc still retain a few distinctive features of my father like forehead/eyebrows/mouth so I can't even escape either of them in the mirror)

But no now I also apparently have to SOUND like her??? Y'know the voice in my head that fuels so much of my self loathing? As if I already didn't hate my voice because I spent my childhood being told to be quiet because I was annoying, being told my voice was grating in its pitch and intensity, etc etc etc + PLUS hating it for Gender Reasons???

Can we give a bitch a break. For once.

#franposting #im just whining ill be fine. but also like #fuck this #literally playing pf with rose and co and voice chatting with rae #i was like. oh. hey. maybe my voice isnt the most fuckin annoying worst thing in the world #its maybe grating and annoying but its me yknow?? #WELL PROGRESS RUINED. I CAN NEVER SPEAK AGAIN. #ik i talked about this before but the impulse towards severely disfiguring self mutilation #so i dont have to look in the mirror and see THEM anymore #IM SO TIRED GUYS. GUYS. IM SO TIRED #clothes i like dont fit my shape. my voice is annoying. i hate my face. nothing is MINE and untouched by them #which fine. its not like im a real person so ofc everything is marked by them #but im justm fuckin fuck fuck this is NOT helping me think like an autonomous creature and human being #i am going. to go pout on the bus home #and genuinely actually gargle a shot of grappa when i get home #im getting the cold my brother has and cant afford it bc tattoo soon and doc appt next week #and sometimes my nonnas old wives cures actually work

[trans-axolotl]

i love being transgender so much actually. like my transgender friends and lovers and chosen family have brought me so much joy. my transgender body delights me + i love my top surgery scars. even despite everything i'm so glad i came out when i did and it's not like I chose to be trans, but I would choose it again + again + again because it has been worth it.

#personal #trans #talking to a trans kid today and i was having so many emotions about like #idk. i had a very hard time as a trans kid and i was very sad and angry and hurt pretty much all the time #bc of the violence that surrounded me #anyway. and they asked me if i would have done it different. knowing now #and i wouldn't have because despite it all. that fucking hell #i can't imagine who i would be. because it's important to me. that i did choose every single day #to survive that and that i chose to find a way to make trans being joyful. despite it all! #and that matters to me and that has shaped me and that just! #it's important to me. #not that there is anythign wrong with staying in the closet. for safety or any reason #to be clear

[hajihiko]

So hey, so you think Soda apologized to Sonia for the way he acted in the game?

GOD I hope so. I hope he wakes up as an adult and regains a little bit of memories and realizes holy shit I was being an infantile jerk, Sonia you can punch me if you want and I promise I wont enjoy it

#Maybe he talks to Akane and hears about all her shit and she says something like #Some guys just see women as a prize and not as a person I guess idk #And hes like wow that's awf- W A I T. .......I'm the some guys. Or i was. Fuck. #There is a very special friendship that can come of this IF he shapes the fuck up. Which I think he has to if they're gonna be islanders #Only the 5 of them together for a while. #I also imagine Souda considers Akane as a flirt option fr 5 seconds and Hajime is like #Bro you're my best friend but hand to god if you start shit with Akane I am actually kicking you between the legs- #-LOOK AT ME I'm not kidding. Trust me. Soul friend. Look at me. Don't. #And that's my thoughts. #Not an art