#so i got sidelined a lot which was shitty at the time but i get it now like im still a bit bitter bc being the eldest everything my sister | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gr4vesrot · 10 months

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Roseville, Florida. 1992.

You have always been a Wallflower. Watching everyone's life trickle by like a character perpetually stuck on the sidelines. It was easy to come to the conclusion that you didn't actually exist, not to anyone else outside of your best friend, anyways.

Things don't happen to people like you. People easily forgotten, ignored, brushed off. So how is it that you got his attention.

How, exactly, did Ghostface pick out a wallflower like you?

Ghostface ( Dead by Daylight x Transman!Reader )

Warnings: Mild internalized transphobia, homophobic slur, light gore, 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Your beverage started to get warm in your hands, and that made it all the more painful to drink. The burn from taking one too many Vodka Pineapple shots sat uncomfortably in the back of your throat, and when you rubbed your tongue on the roof of your mouth, the pineapple’s acidity stung a little bit sharper. But, with your vision getting increasingly wobbly, and your mind a little hazy, you thought nothing of it when you threw the remainder of the shot back after sipping on it like a morning cup of tea.

You mentally chastise yourself when you leave it sitting in your mouth for a second longer than necessary, and your face tightens in a sharp cringe. Besides you, your friend laughs, and it’s amazing that you could hear her over the music and the drunken slur of the crowd. You try to laugh back, but it’s half-hearted, your cheeks quickly coloring when her amusement grabs the attention of different strangers around the both of you.

“Stop drinking them if you don’t like them!” She leans over to speak into your ear, and your stomach does an anxious flip when the taller man standing next to you looks down at the top of her pretty head. Both of your hands come up to grip the edge of the bartop nervously after setting the empty shot glass down, nails digging into the surface before promptly yanking them away as if you got burned. Men don’t close in on themselves, men don’t act skittish. You try to get your shoulders to relax, but it looks more like an awkward slump than anything. The fog wrapping tight around your brain is the only thing that numbs you from assuming the worst. Everyone here thinks you’re an idiot. Or better yet— they don’t know you’re here at all. Alcohol had a funny way of making things more bearable.

“I like them, I like them!” You manage a grin and wave her off, “there’s just… a lot of vodka in there.” You gesture to the bartender for one more, and your longtime companion groans. You both met fresh out of highschool, the first day of your very first job ( or for her, her third job within a span of three months ), and both of you bonded over being college dropouts. She had confided in you that the stress was too much for her, and with a shitty dorm-mate added on top of it, she had abandoned the idea of college life all together. You, however, tried to stick it out. Did your best to overcome and conquer, but sometimes ritualistic hazing is far stronger than your best could ever do.

Five years later and you’re still thick as thieves. You both made a point to make time for each other one day a week at the very least. This week, both your availability had lined up on a Saturday night. Which in your friend’s mind, meant club night. She was far more outgoing than you, more willing to dance with strangers, made acquaintances everywhere she went, so bright and pretty. It felt like a cruel joke to even be able to stand next to her, and an even crueler one when your self-deprecating thoughts ( and jealousy ) were proved to be factual each time you went out together.

Something dark twisted in the haze of your mind when the man on your opposite side, the one that had been looking down at Jess when she leaned into you, ignored your presence all together in order to worm himself between you and your best friend. Not the first time it’s happened, and most certainly not the last. You were a wallflower. Watching as everyone’s life flittered by them without so much as sparing you a glance in return. Or when they did, when someone finally noticed you, the only thing they could muster up was confusion, disgust; As if you were a frog to be observed and dissected. The testosterone had helped, your voice deepened, your shoulders just a little more broad, and your curves not as feminine. But it’ll never make you taller, or the softness of your features harden into what was commonly associated as male. Not with the sporadic dosages you were taking; Insurance didn’t cover the injections, and you’ve already exhausted yourself over crying about it. Now, there was only bitter acceptance.

It would have been so much easier if I stayed a g— Your next shot burned extra on the way down, and you gave the bartender a glare when his back was turned. Was he putting way too much vodka in the drink on purpose? Or did he just suck?

“I’m gonna go dance!” Jess pats your shoulder to grab your attention again, and when you turn, you’re all too aware of how the man who shoved between the two of you doesn’t even look your way. You frown, brows pulling together slightly and you bite your bottom lip out of worry. You weren’t entirely confident that you’d be able to keep an eye on her in the sea of people cluttering the dance floor, and as if reading your mind, she gives you a reassuring grin. “I’ll be back in a bit! I extra promise, okay? Join us when you’re ready!” That grabs the tall stranger's attention, and he looks down at you with a raise of his brows. Curiosity lingers there, his gaze flickering down to your chest for the briefest of seconds only to find nothing of what he was looking for, and back at your face again. The stare makes you entirely self-conscious, and as confident as you were with your binding, you still feel too vulnerable in a room packed with so many people.

“Okay,” you relent, leaning in to whisper the last part, “if anything happens just come and find me. I’ll stay in the same spot.” Appreciation laces her expression when you pull back, and she laughs when you hold up your seventh empty shot glass.

“Can’t wait till you get fucking drunk! Then maybe you’ll finally dance with me!” She doesn’t stick around to see your scoff, and the stranger is once again hypnotized as she pulls him along to the dance floor. The thought of being pressed up against that many bodies nearly makes you shudder, and you don’t have it quite in you to explain to her why the thought of dancing with that many people around would be your personal nightmare. You turn back to the bar, blinking when the rows of alcohol bottles and syrups begin swirling together. Yeah, maybe that seventh shot wasn’t the smartest idea, but it was easier to be drunk than sober in a place like this. When the bartender comes back around to pick up your empty glass, you barely register him asking if you’d want another, and you shake your head with a few mumbled “no”’s. The worst hasn’t even hit you yet, you could feel it, and you’d rather cool the flames before making a bigger fire. The earlier patrons have now dispersed and new faces surround you. Taking each of them in one by one, you chuckle to yourself when you have trouble focusing on every individual feature. It goes ignored, either because no one could hear you over the DJ, or they just couldn’t bother with some weirdo ominously laughing to himself.

The multitude of colors across from you grab your attention again, and you could barely make out the words on the bottles. It’s when you’re struggling to pronounce the name on a bright, cherry red one that two girls immediately fill the empty space at your side, flagging down the bartender to order.

“Are you sure we should even be out?” One of them says, a nervousness in her tone that you find solidarity in. “You know with… Uh, um.. The murders and all?”

Your eyes flicker away from the bottle and down at the murky brown bartop. Suddenly, trying to read the names of alcohol bottles wasn’t all that interesting anymore. From Pennsylvania and now to Roseville, Florida, a predator stalked the streets at night. With a new killing seemingly every week, the city of Roseville was in a whirlwind of panic. The murderer, this Ghostface, had been nothing but the talk of the town. Front page of every newspaper since he arrived a month ago, and after the first two weeks of seeing his name and how he murdered his victims plastered on every news story and magazine, you figured it best to not send yourself on that downwards spiral. The last thing you needed was more of a reason to fear going outside. Besides, running into some super psycho serial killer didn’t happen to people like you.

Not unless this murderer wanted an article titled Ghostface: A Passion for Hate Crimes? In the Roseville Gazette’s new piece about him. The thought of it has an amused smirk tug at the corner of your lips. Funny, in a morbid and should totally not be funny sort of way.

The nervous woman’s friend sighed, rolling her eyes and popping her gum for dramatic flare. “What’s he gonna do? Come in here and try to kill every single one of us? We’re way safer in a crowd than at home. He gets ya’ at home.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe you wanted to try your hand at being like Jess. Friendly, likable, and sociable Jess. You turn your body slightly, facing the two women’s direction and remembering to make your posture as welcoming as possible. Eye contact, speak from your chest, don’t be afraid. A breath in, a breath out, and you ignore the tightening of your stomach. “I think he just likes the attention,” you voice your opinion, successfully earning the two’s scrutiny. They eye you with guarded looks, the nervous one’s gaze much softer than her friend’s. The one closest to you, the gum chewer, however, drums her nails across the bartop. Your palms become clammy, but you continue. “I mean— it just seems like all the news stories and articles are what's spurring him on. A total attention seeker, just don’t give him any and maybe he’ll leave you alone.” You force a laugh, and it burns much worse than vodka ever could.

“Fag.”

The smile is wiped clean from your lips just as quickly as your face colors with embarrassment. Shame is dumped over you like scorching hot tar, filling your throat till you can’t speak, can’t breathe, and the heat numbs your body to the point it feels cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. You’re going to be sick. There’s something heartwrenching forming in your chest that’s familiar. An old friend. Like a dumbbell weighing you down, your movements are slowed when you try to face away from them, fingers curling into the edge of the bartop again with how quickly you were shot down. The more you feel yourself drown, the louder the ringing in your ears gets. You knew it was a mistake coming here. You knew it. And the mean, petty side of you blames Jess for it. If she hadn’t dragged you along, if she knew what it was like..

The two women go back to their conversation; As if the word never escaped the gum chewer’s mouth, as if you had never talked to begin with. As if you were never there at all. The alcohol makes it harder to force down the humiliated tears welling in your eyes, and you’re actually thankful they no longer notice you. It’s one thing to be called slurs in public, but to cry about it right after is another brand of shame entirely. Your shoulders are slumped again, arms folding together over your chest as a means to self-soothe. You're angry with yourself for not saying anything back, for immediately losing your voice at the first sign of hostility. Not only could you not stand up for yourself, but you crumpled like a wet napkin. God, what a loser.

Like clockwork, someone comes stumbling up next to you. Too stubborn to look directly ( no way were you going to let anyone see the red rings you know are forming around your eyes ), you can tell it’s the tall guy who went off to dance with Jess by the color and style of his shirt you catch in your peripheral. The ringing was still too loud in your ears to hear what he ordered, but by the sudden shift of his posture, you could tell he was looking at you.

Please no. God no.

He says something, but it’s hard to make out over how overwhelmed you were. So instead, you don’t answer, and will yourself to become invisible. Strange how it works, the back and forth between your hopeless desire to be noticed, and to stay in the unacknowledged spot you were all too familiar with.

The silence between the two of you is almost painful, but he promptly forgets your existence the moment the bartender reappears with his drinks. One you recognize as Jess’s signature order, a Bloody Mary, and the desire to leave hits you like a truck. You need to go home, you need to go and tell Jess what happened so you can both get the fuck out of this shitty night club with a shitty bartender; And away from all these shitty people. Without thinking, you move a little unsteadily on your feet right at the same time Jess’s new dance partner does, colliding into his chest face first. There’s grunts from you both, and the collision has his drinks slip from his hands and toppling down directly on top of you. The gum chewer and her friend shriek in surprise, cursing when some of it splashes against their shoes. The combination of liquids feels like thick sludge running down your hair and to your shoulders, staining the fabric of your shirt a bright red. It drips off the ends of your locks, sliding all the way down to your fingertips and creating a small puddle where you stood.

Again, you are left speechless. Your drunken daze makes it entirely impossible to think. You slowly lift your chin up, the strong scent of what was Jess’s Bloody Mary becoming that much more powerful when it leaves red trails down the length of your face. Even without the hamster running on his little wheel to get your brain cells working, a small conscious part of you knew this was when the man was supposed to apologize. Ask you for forgiveness so he could still score with your best friend, maybe even go the extra mile and grab you a few napkins so you could wipe yourself off. But when you look up and your eyes manage to focus, he is looking completely past you, mouth babbling apologies towards the two women who were unfortunate enough to be in the splash zone.

You do not exist.

Serial killer be damned. You’d rather brave the pitchblack streets of Roseville then stay there another second. I don’t exist, the wheel in your brain started turning again, Ghostface won’t even see me out there. Turning in a very dangerous direction.

Like a robot, you stiffly maneuver yourself away from the bar and towards the exit, careful as not to inconvenience anybody. Your promise to Jess would have to be broken for a single night, but you hoped she would understand. You hoped that having two drinks dunked over your head was enough to warrant leaving and never going back. You leave through the front without sparing a single glance at the bouncers, and the humid Florida air only worsened your predicament. Everything felt sticky and cold, disgustingly so. And you hadn’t even realized you were crying until something wet and warm served as a stark contrast to the chill sludge of your now most hated beverage in existence. Your tears dribbled off your chin, and a pitiful whine escaped your throat. Another sob turned into an ugly snort when you tried to stop it halfway. Men don’t cry. Men don’t cry. Men don’t cry.

You try to exhale, but it comes out in a stutter, and inhaling only has the same result. Your legs move entirely on autopilot to get you home, and though you were stumbling just a tad, you still had the sense to try and determine just how long it would take you to get there.

Only a few miles. Thirty minutes at least.. It’s okay. It’s okay. Stop crying. Men don’t cry.

You press your lips tightly together to silence yourself, and you focus on the street sign ahead as the club’s music slowly fades out from behind you. Retting LN. it reads, or at least you think it says Retting. You stop for a moment, eyes squinting up at the sign and mouth slightly parted. Left or straight ahead? You couldn’t decide. Trying to get yourself to think was like trying to connect the right wires in a generator, and you definitely weren’t a mechanic. Straight is… longer. You eye the different dimly lit stores and bars down the street ahead, swallowing hard when a group of different figures emerge from a particularly seedy hole-in-the-wall pub.

Left is shorter. But when you turn, the pitch black that meets you feels all consuming. There’s nothing but a flickering street lamp several blocks away, and porch lights that don’t meet the sidewalk. You’ll be totally blind, minus that one street lamp. But it’s shorter. I feel sick. The chorus of laughter from the group you saw prior was getting louder now, and in a moment of drunken panic, you picked left.

The group seemed far wiser than you. Carrying on down their path without even sparing a glance towards the horror filled shadows you decided to brave. You sway to the side, catch yourself last minute, and right yourself up again with a few low murmurs. Even you had no idea what you were saying to yourself, and anyone who’d happen to pass you by would surely think you were crazy. But the streets were empty, minus the few cockroaches you were too drunk to notice skittering around your feet. The Ghostface crosses your mind again, his mask flashing in the forefront. You spook yourself when your vivid imagination turns the mask into an actual face, morphed into a perpetual scream and his jaw begins opening wider and wider. Tearing the corners of his mouth as it completely unhinges and threatens to swallow you whole.

A shiver runs down your spine, and you force yourself to think about something else. The lamp post is coming up quickly, and you’re relieved when its light seems to stretch towards you no matter how dim. Your saving grace, your angel; Its light was a God Send when even your own mind began piecing together horrors beyond what you thought you were capable of conjuring up. The gentle buzz of the lamp as you stood under it was a helpful distraction, and so were the bugs swarming beneath it in chaotic circles. Now, maybe, you can finally understand why the little creepy crawlies were so attracted to the light. Were they also scared of some mass murderer? Afraid his sadism didn’t stop at just humans, and he’d crush them under his boot a little too enthusiastically? It made sense, you concluded with a final nod to yourself, The Ghostface didn’t just strike fear into the hearts of the people of Roseville, but in every living creature that just so happened to be within the city limits. Or maybe, his influence had already reached outside the city limits.

The rumors stated he had made his way from Pennsylvania to Florida, who knows where he’d go next once he grew tired of this dingy city.

Having your head tilted back and your eyes fixated on the lamp for too long had you feeling even more dizzy than you already were, and you instantly regretted your mistake. Facing forward again had your world spinning, swaying side to side with a miserable groan. You were never drinking again, you’ve had it with the effects of alcohol. Stumbling when you don’t quite pick your foot up all the way, inches away from the line that divided illumination and the shadows from a moonless sky, there was a loud clatter from behind the picket fence that separated you and the yard it came from. Startled, you curse, the exclamation echoing off the silent streets. It’s followed by a gasp when your foot slips off the curb of the sidewalk, and you finally go tumbling down on your ass for the first time that night. The road’s gravel bites into the skin of your palm and your forearm when you try to catch yourself, and there’s a sharp sting against your thigh when it rubs against a few loose rocks as you try to right yourself too fast. Your mind can’t keep up to your body’s instincts, and your feet don’t seem to work right even when you finally manage to pick yourself up.

You run with awkward, clumsy movements across the street. Your heart beats heavy in your chest, so hard you can feel it in your throat. It feels like you’re choking again, your arm and palm hurts, your thigh is rubbing uncomfortably against your jeans. But it was all left ignored. You had to escape, you had to run. Run from what? You try to rationalize. It was just a noise. A raccoon, a stray cat. The Ghostface doesn’t care about a nobody like you.

Though, none of your rationalizing mattered. Your legs had a mind of their own, carrying you down different streets and letting fate be your guide. The dark blinded you, and like a moth to a flame, you began following the flickering lights of the back alleyways subconsciously. A stupid move on your part, wouldn’t it have made more sense to stick to the shadows? It would have made for an easier escape. That is, if you even were being chased by anything. Or anyone.

You had no idea where you were by the time you stopped, wheezing as you tried to catch your breath. The muscles of your legs ached, and your side cramped with each inhale. If you didn’t feel sick before, you really do now, and a gag bubbles up your throat that turns into a short, dry cough. All that running made you absolutely parched, and your own saliva did nothing to remedy it. Leaning against the alley wall for support, you take this moment to collect yourself. There was nothing but the sound of your own breathing, nobody reaching out from dark corners to drag you into Hell, and certainly no masked killer choosing you as his next victim. Your laugh comes out as an amused sigh, your exhaustion doesn’t allow for anything more.

The night was full of embarrassment. But at the very least, there was no one to watch you sprint around like a mad man.

You blink slowly, giving yourself all the time you need in order to process where you are. You’ve already given up on getting home in a timely manner, and instead focus on trying to get home in general. There’ll be no more scaring yourself, no more wild imaginations, and no more brainlessly staring at street lights. Step one, get yourself out of the alleyway. “Yeah.. yeah..” You mutter to yourself, rubbing both your eyes. You’ve forgotten how sticky your face was, and you pull your hands back with a soft “ew.” Most of the alcohol spilled on you had dried, but it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable. The top of your head still felt wet, your clothes stained far past salvation, and you smelled awful. You fucking hate Bloody Marys.

Lifting yourself off the wall, you decide to head straight. Might as well finish what you started, and there was a right turn calling your name. Further into the busier part of Roseville, the back alley’s nearly acted as a maze, but you were certain that finding the road again would be much quicker after taking that right. Where you got this confidence from, you weren’t sure. You’d never been the back alley type, not even during your edgier phase in high school. You walk with the certainty of someone who wasn’t seconds away from pissing their pants just moments before, shoulders back and posture straight. You’ve had it up to here on your metaphorical limits chart and the next fixation on your mind was a nice, hot shower. Rinse the day off next to all the red sludge dunked over your head, forget those unfortunate interactions at the bar, and carry on the next few days like nothing happened. Your hand and arm would heal, you’d apologize to Jess for leaving her at the club, and you'd rid yourself from any thoughts about Ghostface.

You refuse to live your life filled with paranoia. Not again.

Something strange sounds ahead, just around your chosen right corner. It makes you hesitate, but you swallow that fear and chalk it up to nothing. Nothing! Your self assured pep-talk wasn’t about to go to waste, and the worse it could be was some crazy drunk wandering around the back alleys at night. So someone a lot like you.

If that was the case, you’d simply turn around and go the other way.

Your hands balled into fists, determined to see it through. The sounds got louder the more you approached; odd shuffling, was that a… groan? And someone is talking. One person, or two? You couldn’t make sense of it, and now you really, really wish you hadn’t taken so many of those shots. In a desperate attempt to prove yourself, you march faster towards the corner, figuring that as long as you didn’t give yourself time to tuck your tail between your legs and scurry off in the opposite direction, you’d come out accomplished. If you could face this, you could face anything. That’s how it worked, right? The gum chewer woman comes to mind, and you vow that if you could walk past whatever lurked in the shadows of this maze with your head held high, you’d be able to do the same when confronted with people like her.

You round the corner without giving yourself a moment to think. No time to pause and really listen to what was being said. To what was being done. The heat from the alcohol leaves your body entirely, and what feels like the ice cold body of a snake coils around your limbs to make you immobile. The breath you were holding chokes you, but you can’t even manage a cough. Your hands and legs grow numb, your eyes warming with tears.

Things like this didn’t happen to people like you. You were a wallflower. A nobody. Hardly visible to anyone outside of Jess and your boss when he needed you to cover someone on your days off. The grotesque wet noises pierce your ears and threaten to draw your attention away from the dark figure standing only a few feet in front of you. A gloved hand wraps tight around the handle of his blade, the other gripping some new, poor victim by the front of their hoodie. One last groan and spurt of blood dribbling past their lips, their legs give out and they slump in the man’s hold. But you can barely register any of this. Not when the ghastly, white mask slowly turns to peek at you from under its hood, locking the hollow of its eyes on you.

It sees you.

He sees you.

Ghostface slips his knife from the fresh corpse with ease. Crimson drips from the tip of it, and he makes no sudden movements. Neither do you. A silent understanding, if you run ( run, run, run—! ) he could easily catch you as you are now. Drunk, fastened to where you stand by fear alone. He moves with such brilliance, the fluidity of a cat, a hunter. The casualness of his regard for you shows the depth of his cockiness. The black holes of his mask suck you in far deeper than the shadows of the path you’ve chosen, and this is the second time in your whole existence that you’ve experienced what true fear is. The frigid bite at your rapidly beating heart, the feeling of T.V. static crawling up your skin and to your horrified expression. You can do nothing but stand there, gaping, as a mass murderer fully turns to look at you.

He sees you.

Read the rest on AO3 !!

#graves writes #ghostface x reader #dead by daylight x reader #danny johnson x reader #jed olsen x reader #ghostface x transmale reader #ghostface mlm #ghostface x transman reader

46 notes · View notes

astrababyy · 1 year

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Ohhhhhhh let’s talk about the mating bond and how it doesn’t fit with SJM’s narrative of Rhysand giving Feyre choices or healthy relationships.

It’s laughably funny to me that Rhys said he was giving Feyre a choice to stay with Tamlin…… but every time he took her he was trying to make her fall for him because he knew she was his mate. So did she really have a choice at all? Because from the get, he was trying to turn her away from Tamlin. Telling her she’d be sidelined? (When even with his shitty self, he tried to include her in things so long as he didn’t deem them dangerous.) Telling her about their past and making Tamlin out to be the bad guy when she doesn’t even have the full story. And then of course, Tamlin’s PTSD-induced abuse (bc it is abuse no matter what) really made her believe it all. Really, what choice did she have, but be forced by a mating bond and faux-choice mate to fall for him and accept him? And even in context, apparently characters can choose to accept the bond, but when none of them reject it or are even allowed to reject it (because with the way it’s set up, I refuse to believe either Rhys or Cassian would allow for rejection), it is really a choice?

And it’s even funnier because SJM KNOWS they have nothing in common. That’s why she had to force Feyre and Nesta to become warriors and parrot whatever their mates think and say.

you’re so right, anon. the mating bond is THE most ridiculous thing in the acotar universe, and it kind of destroys all of sjm’s hounding on rhysand giving feyre a “choice”.

also, sorry anon, but this got kinda long lol.

firstly, rhysand didn’t even tell feyre that they were mates. that, in and of itself, is blatant manipulation.

i think rhysand’s focus on feyre choosing him would’ve been better off if feyre had known he was her mate from the get-go. that is one of the biggest flaws with how the entire thing was treated. true consent requires knowing all the facts, and feyre didn’t know a lot of them.

the most important fact that pretty much explains everything rhysand’s doing for her was knowledge she was never given because, let’s face it, rhysand wouldn’t seem HALF as romantic if feyre and the audience knew from the beginning that everything he did was based on some superficial bond the audience doesn’t care about.

every time he took her he was trying to make her fall for him because he knew she was his mate.

during all that time she was with him, rhysand manipulated and gaslit her to get her on his side and to make her fall for him, which is what makes it so fucked up. and then there’s that point you said, that rhysand did it because feyre’s his mate.

i think this scene is some of its worst because of how blatant it seems.

“I will say this once—and only once,” Rhysand purred, stalking to the map on the wall. “You can be a pawn, be someone’s reward, and spend the rest of your immortal life bowing and scraping and pretending you’re less than him, than Ianthe, than any of us.

this line was so weird to me because rhysand in the text has this tendency to reframe things to fit his narrative, and it doesn’t really correlate with what’s actually happening. this happens a lot, and you’ll notice how different things seem when he’s the one describing them. and even you, anon, added that tamlin literally doesn’t do this or treat her like this. at most, it’s ianthe. like, rhysand’s words don’t correlate at all, and the reader + feyre are just so angry that they follow along.

If you want to pick that road, then fine. A shame, but it’s your choice.”

y’all ever have those moments with your mother where you’d, like, pick something out at a store and she’d be like, “okayyyyy~ then,” with this judgy look like she’s rethinking all her life decisions up until that moment as she makes a face to push you to pick something else? no? just me? okay, anyway, that’s what this reminds me of.

also a bit like those schoolyard bullies that would shame you for your interests and make you feel like you had to hide them? kind of like that too.

The shadow of wings rippled again. “But I know you—more than you realize,

don’t even get me STARTED on this line. “I know you”??? that’s the most stereotypical, gaslighting-level line in the history of all dialogue. everyone knows how toxic this statement can be. and rhysand doesn’t even know feyre at all. he doesn’t know anything about her. he’s just appealing to her innermost desires to not be suffocated in her time of vulnerability and twisting it as he sees fit.

I think—and I don’t believe for one damn minute that you’re remotely fine with being a pretty trophy for someone who sat on his ass for nearly fifty years, then sat on his ass while you were shredded apart—”

🙂

Telling her about their past and making Tamlin out to be the bad guy when she doesn’t even have the full story.

personally, i think rhysand himself didn’t even know the full story. I think the memories are just so emotional for him that he crafted the rest of the story in his head, throwing out all reason and logic. that doesn’t change that we should’ve heard tamlin’s side, especially since the things we know about him don’t correlate with what rhysand claims he did.

And then of course, Tamlin’s PTSD-induced abuse (bc it is abuse no matter what) really made her believe it all.

this is the key factor, i think. feyre had already been through so much that when rhysand offered her a helping hand, no matter everything he did that came with it, she clung onto it because she needed someone in a time where she felt so alone. rhysand took advantage of her and manipulated her when she was at her lowest, and i think that’s what allowed her to become so different in acomaf and acowar.

Really, what choice did she have, but be forced by a mating bond and faux-choice mate to fall for him and accept him?

with how much rhysand hid from her, this is really a major one. feyre’s choices are limited and seem different without the full perspective, so is it really consent at that point?

And even in context, apparently characters can choose to accept the bond, but when none of them reject it or are even allowed to reject it (because with the way it’s set up, I refuse to believe either Rhys or Cassian would allow for rejection), it is really a choice?

cassian, I feel like, never would’ve let nesta go if she rejected their bond. and idk how the ic would react, but i doubt it’d be good. i think this is also why we had lucien with elain. he got the brunt of the side effects so there be that added tensions, that acknowledgement that rejecting the bond is entirely possible and something people have done before.

And it’s even funnier because SJM KNOWS they have nothing in common. That’s why she had to force Feyre and Nesta to become warriors and parrot whatever their mates think and say.

the gap between feyre and nesta and their mates truly makes this seem that much more terrible. everything about them seems so altered from their original characters, to the point that it’s actually sad.

#anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti cassian #astrababyy #astrababyy asks

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scrapyardboyfriends · 10 months

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Honestly this whole Marshall leaving already thing is just so bizarre. Because…was that the plan all along? Or did the actor just quit after 6 months?

If he quit (because is he old enough to be taking exams yet? I thought he was only like 14/15 I don’t know how British school works. Haha) but like why are they unable to hold on to young actors?

If it was the plan all along then I just don’t understand the point of him at all.

Like okay he was Arthur’s first crush but you could have an Arthur has either an unrequited crush and learns that not everyone is going to like him story or a tentative first boyfriend that doesn’t last cause they’re teenagers story without going so in depth on that crush character because ultimately the story was supposed to be about Arthur??!?

And that would feel more worthwhile to me because then I feel like A) the story is about the character we know and B) he could learn something from it.

Instead we had a sweet understated coming out story for Arthur, which I feel like they did pretty well with and then…

We had a whole bunch of confusing things happen…

- Arthur becomes super into educating everyone about lgbtq+ people and issues seemingly overnight and then never mentions it again because it felt like a plot point specifically to introduce Marshall’s shitty dad and create conflict there and not a natural extension of Arthur coming out.

- Marshall was introduced as his crush and then his bully and then maybe not his bully and then secretly gay but not out cause of the aforementioned shitty dad that got his time to shine because Arthur wanted to present things.

- then they basically abandoned Arthur’s story and threw everything into the Marshall coming out story cause it was…I don’t know…more traditional with the homophobic parent and the being scared to come out unlike Arthur’s relatively uneventful sweet coming out?

- and Arthur was sidelined from his own crush’s story despite having relevant experience in also being gay and having lost a parent and you know, this being the boy he liked and it supposedly heading towards them being in a relationship.

- Instead he got tiny cameos where he just whined a lot because he wasn’t allowed in on the plot. So no real further development of his own identity or the relationship between him and Marshall.

- all this sacrificed in favor of weirdly making the story about Laurel helping a gay kid who was not her own gay son just cause…

- and we go through all of that for Marshall to finally stand up to his dad and tell Arthur he wants to go on a date just for them to immediately in like the next scene decide that they’re boyfriends now with absolutely zero development to get to that.

- and then they both disappear for weeks/months

- and when they do come back they’re just weirdly arguing about money or…something?! Again, zero development or screen time of this relationship they supposedly had.

- and now he’s just leaving to go live with an aunt or whatever

And for what?! What did Arthur get out of all of this narratively?! I feel like Marshall got a whole arc for the couple weeks/months he was on just to leave and the character he’s leaving behind got nothing?

And now what? Did Arthur really learn anything? Does he just go back to languishing off screen or in the background of scenes about Jai and Laurel getting married? Does he get a new love interest? I don’t know that he needs one immediately but it’d feel a lot less weird if they just had him quietly come out as a set up for the future and then just let it be until they were ready to really tell a story than doing this whole big Marshall thing only for it all to amount to nothing.

I don’t know. I can’t imagine they would just axe the character so I feel like he either had to quit or this was, for some inexplicable reason, the plan all along.

Either way, the way it plays out on screen is very confusing and ultimately unsatisfying. Par for the course these days, I know.

#Emmerdale complaints corner #emmerdale spoilers #sorry I guess I had to write another one of my essays cause I had thoughts

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calamitys-child · 1 year

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Dude, my parents were the same! They were worried the stigma would mean I'd be bullied or school would sideline me or employers wouldnt hire me so they just left me to deal with it. I know they truly thought they were doing what was best at the time but I like to think they finally twigged they cocked up when I hit mid 20s and went quote unquote "insane". Turns out medication/ therapy could have made me seem a whole lot more "normal" as an adult if I'd had the chance to deal with it as a kid

EXACTLY!! Like, I totally get their reasoning - it's shitty that they felt they Had to reason that way but I get it - but what fucks me up is that they were so rude about it when I finally got support on my own. I was 21, 22 maybe, and I made a comment like "astonished you thought this was a normal child" and they went "oh don't be stupid we always knew there was something wrong with you but we weren't gonnae put you in special ed, you're fine, you're smart". Like. Fuck OFF

And as an adult, support is difficult and different from as a child. I got a little mental health support at uni after a worryingly long battle, and getting on SSRIs and testosterone did one hell of a job stabilising and improving my mental health cause I was no longer terrified and miserable all the time, but honestly the biggest impact was just.... making friends with neurodivergent people and disability rights activists.

Like I will always remember being at uni, crying into a pint in the students union with a friend because I had just spent an hour in counselling explaining that no matter how much I love the subject I can't handle a 2hr lecture, and all they told me was "well you're aware of the problem, so you can fix it". A random guy I'd never spoken to before but vaguely knew as being involved with the disabled students association came over and just went "hey, I overheard your conversation; they don't know how to help neurodivergent students but here's what we put together for ourselves and figured out the long way round", handed me a napkin with a list of ways to access lecture recordings and slides with notes, waved goodbye, and vanished. Singlehandedly saved me from failing 3rd year.

And now I'm surrounded by friends who are neurodivergent or are very close with neurodivergent people and I have the language to be like. "Sensory stuff is a bit much right now I need to be outside" or "sorry im bad at tone and facial expression but I am saying this sentence in a positive way" or who I can stim in front of and who won't freak out about me sometimes being nonverbal . And it's SUCH a relief and has given me the resources to phrase these things in ways that my family will understand even if it's "you get migraines sometimes anyway which affects everyone's sensory threshold so if you're overstimulated you can say you have a migraine because it will mean they understand you're overstimulated".

I just. Really wish I'd been taught these things as a wean and not left to figure it out myself

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quinntamsin · 1 year

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Sitting on the sidelines, she watched the Firstborn Followers of the Fallen hand out pamphlets. Her eyesight noted how their eyes held no real life, and only dark malice. Possessed walking the streets and acting like Jehovah Witness'. This isn't good. VERY BAD! Saoirse crept along the edge of the alley, her eyes firm on the men as they disappeared into a strange temple. Opening her phone she snapped a picture, the strange bladed cross of Adriel sat atop it. "These fucks just moved into my home, is anyone dealing with them?" --- SPOILERS AHEAD! YES, Warrior Nun Season 2 came out and I binged it like the basic thirsty bitch I AM! Please note, I have a lot of solid criticism for this series and a lot of love for it. Please be aware, this TV Series is a strict departure from the kind of hypersexualized work of Ben Dunn, "Warrior Nun Areala". In that world, the Halo doesn't exist in the same way that the Nun in question (Shannon) is a reincarnation of the original Nun, Areala. In this story, Arela is a former pagan Valkyrie comes to serve the church. There's a lot more magick and devils in this story and not as much multiplanar science. First, I want to say that as we enter this season, Ava was her usual irritating self. I mean the girl was basically abused and killed for being disable as an orphan. Remember, she was treated as completely useless and was poisoned to death via an overdose. So when she got the Halo she went hogwild with all the power and ability to you know -walk.-. By now she's still being her reckless self, and starts to actually mature. The breakout of this particular season to me were Beatric, Superion and Camila. Yeah, when we finally get Yasmine into the mix I like how we have a Coptic Nun (who decided to drop a few drags on the British Colonization of Egypt) join the crew. The Ugly Adriel is one of the MOST abhorrently plot armor-filled villain I've seen since I watched WIthout a Trace. Seriously, that godkin should have been killed so many times and the fact he could figure shit out was just stupid. Near the end we got a good example of his power, but honestly these fights felt more like needless tension raising rather than threats. This is where seeing him doing more than offhanded plagues would have been kind of great. As you know, maybe a scene where he stares down a tank, or I dunno ends a war. Like seriously, I mean I get the catholic influences in this show. But there is far too much plot armor propping up the Firstborn, especially with how they treated Lillith. Oh, gods don't get me started on FUCKING LILLITH! Second, Lillith literally murders an entire crowd of the Firstborn fucks and then turns to the man later on. She breaks away after hearing of Mary's death and just -gives- up? Like I get that her mother is shitty and that we're trying to tie her to the demon in the comics (who is a villain daughter of the OG Lillith), but wasted arc. Seeing her as more of a neutral party rather than a simp for Adriel would have been awesome. Since she was already a pretty solid anti-heroine backstory since Season 1. So basically, the story here is just kind of filled with a lot of stakes and at times needless extension. Adriel spends most of the time being a fucking mouthpiece of his own rhetoric and his followers are mooks. The few who reveal themselves at the Conclave was nice touch. Finally, god Miguel was kind of cool, but he was basically a bomb sent by a god. That was his story, sure he introduce the anti-Adriel resistance, but his entire arc was just kind of blah. The Good Fuck, Beatrice is filled with such fucking useless lesbian energy. The entire build up is done in such a way, that I was honestly angry with Ava a lot. But, honestly, Ava is nice to have as a bi/pan figure as well. I had a lot of gay thoughts popping away, but I like Avatrice as a couple. Yeah, in the original season it seemed there was more chemistry with Mary. How she appeared to love Shannon though build up this relationship which seems to coalesce out of the Halo-Bearers with their sisters. Now, there is something to be said for how well acted Beatrice as a big sister is to Camila. What we see here though is the need to protect and care for someone in a supporting and romantic manner. Mary and Beatrice have a strong bond with the Warrior Nun. As Warrior Sisters they stand as a sort of right-hand and as a defender. Yes, the Halo Bearer's have vast supernatural powers, but they need someone to watch their back. This is made even more evident as it was Beatrice in Season 1 who conducted Ava's training. Being together in isolation after the awakening of Adriel and the bombing at the Vatican likely increased their dependence on one another. Her frustration and how she expresses it with Miguel's appearance and joining the team was well acted. Hell, I was so fucking happy when they kissed by the end! The End This series is not nearly as bad as Cursed, which was a -very fucking bad- fantasy series. One that had a bit of potential which ended up wasted! Because, we can't have Arthurian stuff that is kind of okay these days! Now that said, the CGI in this series is still pretty janky. Like, I feel like if Shadow & Bone or even Witcher can get an upgraded so can Warrior Nun. Now this was a series I wasn't sure was going to get renewed. I watched it when Summer 2020 came before I made my big watch of the first Saga's of One Piece. So when I saw a new season I was pleasantly surprised. I do find it really funny that netflix seems intent on placating the Queers with tossing us a bone of a few solid LGBT filled series. While still supporting trash human beings like I dunno, David Chapelle? Who the fuck knows in this case. I was happy to watch this series, and when Adriel was torn apart all I could say was "Took way too damn long!" Hottakes: I watched this series at the end of a long day and in between assistance my sibling with her baby. Plus, I had my teeth drilled because of a cavity so I was pretty damn high as balls. I spent more time analyzing the series and think it over the night after I watched it. So sadly unlike the rest of my reviews I don't have any really hottakes for this one. I will say I want to see some good fics using this verse for you know, better writing!

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shoceted · 10 months

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Hello, this is like... months late but you were one of the only English KeiwaxAce writers I actually liked and seeing that you've dropped the series is devastating (but understandable, they've been ruining Keiwa since Bullfighting Game and I'm devastated, on the edge of my seat and have a lot words/feelings about it too). Could I ask what was your turning point for the series? Or, I guess, what was the straw that broke your back.

If you don't feel like it, that's fine too. Thank you for sharing your Geats fics at the start of the series.

(Anonymous cuz i'm shy af but mostly because haven't used tumblr in years how does this website even work anymore help-)

firstly, this is an incredibly kind thing to say about my writing, and i appreciate it a lot! i kind of miss being that inspired — like including the ex-aid crossover i wrote, seven things??? that's impressive, actually, go me. the first 16 episodes of geats provided a lot for me to be inspired by, i guess. (i think my heart's always going to do something when i think about the phrase "the tycoon i know", tbh.)

the last straw... well, for one thing, the lack of keiwa focus after episode 19 did bug me, because he was my favorite character and i liked seeing him. people say "oh he got focus during the first dgp" but i don't think that's really the case; i went more into this on my personal twitter account, but him being the audience surrogate for the first arc doesn't mean he's the focus of those episodes. like 1-2 are establishing ace, 3-4 are establishing neon, 5-6 are establishing buffa, and then it's only 7-8 that keiwa gets focus... and he's eliminated. at the beginning of the next dgp, he's not even a contestant, he's just a device used to show the fact that being eliminated without dying gets rid of why you wished for what you wished for. it's not until episode 12 that he's even back.

now, i thought the direction they were going with him — he still wants world peace, but in a more realistic way, wanting to bring all the dead contestants back — was really good, too. and i liked him and neon both developing into characters who could trick ace by the time episode 16 comes around! (i actually still have a kace wip that i might finish someday for the sake of finishing it that takes place between episodes 16 and 17, sorta; like, i have 5k of it written and all it needs is the smut that sure is a part of it, so i might go back to it eventually? who knows.)

and thennnnn the dezastar arc starts, as does the decline in keiwa's writing.

i don't mind characters being comic relief now and then, but having a previously-serious character relegated to just comic relief doesn't sit well with me. 19 was a great episode for keiwa, and that conversation with ace he had over dinner made me lose my shit, and i foolishly thought that maybe they'd take him seriously from there on out.

but, no, they sidelined him. for 12 weeks. waiting for my favorite character to have proper focus episode for 3 straight months really bugged me, tbh, though i didn't say anything for fear of stirring the pot. and we finally get to episode 31 and he gets kicked into a pit. this made me really upset.

the fan reaction to this also didn't do me any favors; i was pissed at buffa (the character, not the actor — i do not care about mokudai kazuto in any direction, though i was accused of hating on him, which was fun) for the whole pit-kicking thing and made this clear, which i realize in retrospect was a mistake, because all of a sudden being a fan of keiwa was not the move. (and fwiw, i don't want to hate buffa; i just get a way with characters who hurt characters i love. i'm the same way about him that i am about kylo ren and sangwoo from squid game, and i do not like this trait about myself.) it reminded me of a bunch of shitty experiences i had in a toxic fandom in 2020 and 2021 that sunk me into a deep depression that it took a long time (and the existence of kamen rider revice, which a lot of geats fans abhor and make clear that they abhor, which also didn't help) for me to get out of. that's when i stopped watching geats live, at least. (i also want to state that this had nothing to do with any ship i like, not even kace. apparently people have this idea that kace enjoyers are really angry folks and it's just like... no? this isn't a popular pairing. nobody is going to get mad at you if you don't like it.)

neon's writing during this time also made me angry; i do not like any of the sponsors at all, and neon's character development coming from a man — and a man who is a toxic fan of hers, at that — didn't sit well with me. on the topic of sponsors, jean felt like forced ace shipping bait, and i didn't like his character much, either. (which also makes me feel bad, since i know the actor's such a huge fan.) it was actually him coming back, as well as punkjack's return (by all means i should adore punkjack, because am i ever a sucker for a flop musician, but nothing about his character has ever worked for me — especially since he unnecessarily flirts with tsumuri and clearly makes her uncomfortable in a setting where she can't complain about this, which, ew), that made me drop geats entirely.

the direction the writing is going right now is also not good. the misogyny of fridging sara and damsel-ing tsumuri, the way they've completely fucked up keiwa's character, it's so frustrating — i honestly want to move zero one up on my toku list for this year so that i can see if ex-aid, which famously gave me a disease, was some kind of fluke. hell, in ex-aid, we have a character who acts illogically because of his grief, and those episodes are perfect to me. doing this with keiwa 40something episodes in doesn't hit the same.

buffa's storyline was supposed to be something similar, i know, but that never worked for me either. much like punkjack, it should have. but his non-reaction to the toru jamato's death when toru's death and his anger over it is supposed to be his entire character motivation... didn't make me feel like hiiro did. his rivalry with ace is also no kaito/kouta. it feels like geats is trying to do a lot of things that worked in gaim without understanding why those things worked in gaim. (and i do hate to be an annoying gaim stan, but... come on, geats.)

maybe i'm missing something because i'm not watching every week, or maybe i just have bad taste, but all of these things piling up makes me want to have nothing to do with geats at all anymore. i've actually considered orphaning all my geats fic in frustration, but i've decided against it because that would mean interacting with my geats fics again. it wouldn't provide catharsis. i'm just done.

so tl;dr: around the dezastar arc i became frustrated with keiwa getting sidelined, the fan reaction to episode 31 as well as its contents brought up bad memories and made me stop watching live, and the return of two characters i just don't see the appeal of made me drop the series entirely.

#asks #this ended up really long so i put it under a read more lol #writers gonna write?#anyway thank you again for complimenting my writing :') i hope i can write something you enjoy in the future!#and i'm sorry if i said anything negative about a character you like in this big ramble #i know what it's like to have unpopular favorites (kaito hiiro people don't like ikki. i love ikki.)#and reading negativity makes me upset even if it's valid criticism yknow?#but yeah tl;dr at the end bc this got long

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zai-doodles · 1 year

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Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)

I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?

(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)

bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING

aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj

however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope

so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd

no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life

gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain

and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE

and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT

like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???

she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN

learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way

ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad

gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships

the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.

like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them

last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven

idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea

and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk

tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu

#zai talks #fairy tail

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resurrection-of-soul · 3 months

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Flashback | BIOHAZARD 7

Writer: Akira (日日日)

Characters: Kaoru, Koga, Keito

Kaoru: (There we go. You look like a dummy with no thoughts in that head of yours, but you catch on quick, don't you?) Koga: (Yeah, cause I'm always hangin' around with a certain someone who makes no fuckin' sense. My brain's gotten a bit a' trainin'.)

[ For the best viewing experience, please read directly on my blog! ♪ ]

Time: One hour later.

Location: At the underground live house located in the downtown area near Yumenosaki.

Kaoru: Welcome~♪

Koga: ......

Kaoru: Oh? You're like, totally one of our regulars. You came back again, huh? I know I probably shouldn't be saying this since I'm the one in charge of sales and all, but if you keep coming to shady places like this, your parents are gonna worry about you, y'know~? Well, I don't really care one way or the other. I mean, your actions are your own responsibility, so don't sue the store if anything goes wrong, 'kay?

Koga: Shut up, quit talkin' to me like we're friends. You're just some guy who works here.

Keito: Are you acquainted with Hakaze, Oogami?

Koga: Hakaze? Nope, I didn't even know his name. You friends with him or somethin', Hasumi-senpai?

Keito: We aren't friends, but we are in the same class. This guy's infamous for skipping school, so every time I see him, I end up preaching at him to come to school.

Kaoru: Ack, Glasses-kun is here too!

Keito: You ought to at least know my name by now.

Kaoru: Sorry~ I'm not interested in men's names, so I don't bother remembering them~♪ More importantly, I totally get it now… I was like, this is a really weird pair to be hanging out together, but you two were part of that group that performed the other day, right? Which means you're Sakuma-san's friends. So, he must be the one who called you two out here today.

Keito: …We aren't really friends or anything like that.

Koga: Ehh~? We're friends on paper at least, aren't we? Cause we're DEADMANZ~♪

Koga: (GAAAAAAAH! THIS IS SO ANNOYING~! I wanna retort so bad, but I can't open my mouth of my own volition! This is so damn stressful!)

Kaoru: (H-Heeey~! Koga-kun? Guess you can't hear me after all, huh?)

Koga: (Woah? Is that you, Hakaze-senpai? Where are ya?)

Kaoru: (What do you mean, where? I'm like, right here y'know… Wait, that was you just now, right, Koga-kun?)

Koga: (Duh, who else?)

Kaoru: Haha. There's a lot of people here, so why don't we go talk in the back? The client this time around is me, or rather, this underground live house I run. I've got a liiittle problem that I need you, DEADMANZ, to solve for me—

Koga: (Hey! Can ya not hear me after all? Why the hell are ya ignorin' me to go on about that shit?!)

Kaoru: (...Ohhh~ So that's how it is.) (Koga-kun, Koga-kun, calm down. I think I've more or less figured out what's going on.)

Koga: (Hah?)

Kaoru: (We're like, totally ghosts right now.)

Koga: (Ghosts? I don't remember dyin,' but— Oh wait, I get it.)

Kaoru: (There we go. You look like a dummy with no thoughts in that head of yours, but you catch on quick, don't you?)

Koga: (Yeah, cause I'm always hangin' around with a certain someone who makes no fuckin' sense. My brain's gotten a bit a' trainin'.)

Kaoru: (I see, that makes sense ♪)

Koga: (Long story short, we're all dreamin' cause a' that somethin'-or-other experiment, yeah?) (And inside that dream, we're relivin' the past. But for some reason, we're still conscious.)

Kaoru: (It's like lucid dreaming, I guess. And for some reason, we can communicate with each other too.) (It seems like we can't interfere with the dream — or rather, our memories — but we can still chat while watching from the sidelines.) (That's why I described us as "ghosts.")

Koga: (Hmph, I s'pose it's a good way to put it.) (Ghosts— the dead can't interfere with reality, after all.) (We've really become dead men. What kinda shitty irony is that?)

Kaoru: (Well, I'm actually starting to enjoy myself a bit now that I'm thinking of it as a rare opportunity to experience something unusual.)

Koga: (Just how positive can ya get, ya happy-go-lucky asshole.)

Kaoru: (You only live once, so it'd be a waste not to enjoy it, right? ♪) (Though, well, who knows whether this'll be enjoyable or not...) (Hey hey, Koga-kun, am I misremembering how this happened?) (At the time, I wasn't really all that interested in the stuff happening around me, so I kinda took a back seat to everything. Is that why my memory of these events is off?)

Koga: (Hah? Whaddya mean?)

Kaoru: (Well, we're supposed to be reminiscing about the past… But I don't remember experiencing anything like this. I mean like, the general outline is more or less correct, but some of the details don't match up.)

Koga: (Hm? But I really did go to the underground live house with Hasumi-senpai and—) (Wait, yeah, I don't think we met up with ya directly when we came here. It wasn't until later that I found out you were the one runnin' the place.)

Kaoru: (Yup. It's a bunch of small stuff like that, but when you add it all up, it changes a lot, y'know.) (So like, just what is it that we're being shown right now…?)

[ ☆ ]

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#ensemble stars #enstars translation #koga oogami #kaoru hakaze #keito hasumi #undead #flashback #biohazard

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mikoran · 1 year

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ok @theonebyler made some posts about season three and its inspired me to complain about the season because oh lordddd

fair warning this is very disorganized and long and im terrible at expressing my thoughts in words but i need to rant (i said some of this stuff in the tags when i reblogged one of the posts but shhhh)

also this is all my opinion!! if you have a different perspective, thats fine, and im open to other opinions and interpretations

now i will give season three some credit, it wasnt totally unwatchable and upon my most recent rewatch (where i didnt skip season three for once since i wanted a refresher), i did find that it wasnt as bad as i remembered and i could in fact watch it and be entertained, but god do i still have a plethora of problems with it

first and foremost, milkvan. for the first two seasons i thought they were cute, yknow little crushes and sweet moments, but god did season three ruin any chance i had of ever liking them. they made out and argued and thats literally it. it was so obnoxious and uncomfortable half the time and they didnt even properly resolve the argument. sure, we got that shit with the m&ms, and even though mike explained himself earlier during the sauna test, he still deflected blame and that shit lasted for half the season. they never properly talked it through and they just sorta threw a band aid on the root of the problem (which did plant the seeds for season four, but it was still unsatisfying to watch since it was treated like a proper conflict resolution). mike was just generally unbearable the whole time too, and he was just a dick who deflected blame and was totally different from the sweet kid we knew the seasons before. i love mike, but thats only if i just straight up ignore some of the stuff in season three

while, sure, some of mikes behavior could be reasoned by internalized homophobia and a variety of other issues hes got, that doesnt excuse his shit about "the female species" and the fact that, even if he didnt like el romantically, he can still, yknow, talk to her. i know hes a kid and all but the way they treated it this season was so unbearable

plus theres the stuff with mike and max fighting over els independency. specifically the aspect of her powers, which just kinda comes out of nowhere. like them having mike be all worried about her overexerting herself and blurting out that he loves her feels like damage control since max was being wayyyy too right about el being her own person aside from mike for the audience to stay on milkvans side. its like they needed to find some kinda last minute way to get the audience to still think milkvan was good in some way, if that makes sense. and while i do think that el and mike are going to break up and that her independency is in fact where its going, the way they handled this specific part felt so... weird

staying on the trend of annoying characterization, hopper. he felt like a totally different person and like a caricature of himself. he was a jealous man child the whole time and him getting jealous over every man joyce talked to got old reallyyyy quickly. plus the whole him being an overprotective "stay away from my daughter" kinda dad since, while i understand his behavior, its very stereotypical and you know damn well him getting upset with mike wouldnt have happened so aggressively and be framed so comedically if it was a mother with her sons girlfriend. i love hopper too but its like even his mannerisms and shit changed that season and he just was not himself

lucas also got on my nerves, since he was constantly promoting mikes shitty behavior, and he was also just sorta sidelined a lot of the season. he wasnt really lucas, he was more so some guy who just sorta propped up mike the whole time and didnt really have another purpose. we couldve gotten more elaboration on lumax or something instead, but they instead were practically just were nonexistent most of the season

speaking of nonexistent, will was sidelined like the entire season. he was a walking upside down alarm and had like a few moments where he came up with an idea but other than that, nothing. he was just sorta there and didnt do many meaningful things despite his importance to the supernatural shit going on since they decided to focus on annoying relationship drama for half the season instead of supernatural things being as prevalent

jancy also kinda annoyed me with the needless drama they had, drama that never even got properly resolved. when they have that talk in the elevator, jonathan admits that nancy was right about the rats, but that wasnt the root of the problem. the main argument they had was over how nancy didnt get how important the job was for jonathan since he came from a poorer family, and how jonathan didnt get how hard nancy had it dealing with the misogyny of her coworkers. the main fight was never about the rats and if the story was real or not, and they never properly address the actual problem. and having a moment where they actually talked and understood each other wouldve been great but we never got that

in hind sight we really never got many proper resolutions to conflicts, which could be argued to have snowballed into problems we see in season four, but its still annoying how they were handled and have yet to be explicitly addressed

the whole thing with karen and billy. no further elaboration needed.

billy getting redeemed in a way. yeah yeah he did all his shitty behavior cuz his dad sucks and he was separated from his mom, but thats not an excuse for continuing the cycle of abuse or the racism. billy sucks and i wish they never had him die as a hero

the main dynamics of the party get like permenantly skewed this season. instead of keeping the core party together and showing how close they are, we have dustin separated the whole time and all the focus with the rest of the party being relationship drama and only damaging their friendships. id love to see some more inner party dynamics shown but theyve gotten too caught up on other dynamics to ever elaborate or explore others and it makes you realize that some characters have hardly even interacted. like i cant think of a single time dustin and will have interacted one on one despite the party supposedly being so close

the stuff with the main supernatural plotline was really... weird. like that stuff with the chemicals and the use of rats felt so out of nowhere and was kinda forgettable. and they never really expanded on them??? or like anything the supernatural plotline did that season?? they were just there and then stopped mattering or having much importance despite the questions they raise. the stuff in seasons two and four are all a sort of "ohhh that makes sense" and connect very clearly but... why rats?? whered this shit about chemicals come from?? what???

while i do love the vibe of the season, it doesnt work very well with the context its got of the first two seasons. its such a stark contrast and drastic shift in tone that it feels like a totally different show and it sticks out like a sore thumb and it bothers me a lot. the season was much more comedic and lighthearted for a good deal of it compared to other seasons, and while i cant complain about something being funny, it just doesnt work as well with the type of show it is

they never really brought up a lot of important plot points from the first two seasons this time around. like i think els mom came up once closer to the end of it, and i think we see barbs picture like once in the last episode, but otherwise they just... stop being important. stuff like that makes the whole season feel disconnected from everything else since it just doesnt flow the same way that seasons one and two did

i think that should be everything (though chances are ive missed stuff) but tldr the humor and a bunch of shit felt so like straight and stereotype based, a lot of the conflict was handled weird, and compared to how seasons two and four flow it feels less like a continuation of previous seasons and more like some tacked on addition with shit thrown in that doesnt make much sense

thanks for reading im going to bed now

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #st 3 #every time someone says season three is their favorite im like #???#are we watching the same show??#the duffers are great writers but couldnt they have tried a little harder on this one please #i feel like i need to apologize for this whole post just cuz of how long it is #and how i dont feel like my points made sense but oh welllll #stranger things 2 #st 2 #stranger things 4 #st 4 #was i too mean with this #i feel like im being mean #and dont get me wrong i did like stuff this season #but mannnn it makes it hard #anti mileven

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undermycoat · 7 months

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I know nothing about football but I'd still like to hear about the au :3

see bc i complain and then i don't even know where to start LOL

ok so ig i'll start with the title From the Sidelines and a little description i have, to pique interest heh

Arthur is Camelot FC's star striker and captain. Merlin is the kitman. Life is hardly ever fair.

anyway . i suppose that's. a little misleading. that being said i think this grew into something waaaaay larger than i originally planned @.@ like it was supposed to be a fun little addition to the surprisingly small amt of footballer arthur fics we have but now this fic has double daddy issues (balinor my beloved...), coming out, sports injuries, shitty coaches (aredick die by my sword) and never making the national team. HUH??? i just wanted merthur to fuck on the pitch... (joke) (just in time for fuck him on the field friday)

also there's side stories. like one is when the players get handcuffed tgt for 24hrs but they've got an uneven amt for it and merlin gets roped in

and then there's the valentine's day arwen special that i somehow accidentally made into a statement about arthur's attitude toward his sexuality?? and feelings for merlin??? through his anxiety about his date with gwen????

“All good?” Merlin asks. “Never better,” Arthur replies, then pivots and walks directly into his closet. He stares at his barren shoe rack before he feels hands on his shoulders, and Merlin is turning him around and guiding him back out. “Wrong way,” he hears him say. “Right.” This time, Arthur marches out his room then down the hall to the front door. “I’ll be back.”

i'm allowed to give this info bc i don't know if i'll ever actually post the extras. i dont' even know when i'm gonna finish the main story sjkdfhgjkf

oh yeah another side story takes place in 2007 (that might be the title for it idk) and it's about uther buying camelot fc for arthur's tenth birthday LOL dont question the legaltiy of arthur playing for his father's club. i dont know and i dont care. this is fiction SIMILARLY dont say shit abt arthur being a striker and captain. it's happened before. it's literally fine. dont even worry about it

there's like. ik i rly only talked about the side stories but u have to realize just how much has already gone into this fic and i wouldn't even say i'm halfway done. i don't think i've written out a single match which is also funny bc i've been keeping up with the prem and actually think i can do it now. i just keep dragging my feet abt it lol

i think the hardest part for me is when im gonna have to seriously injure arthur. i didnt want to but i think it's an important way for his and merlin's relationship to progress and also would explain merlin's attitude toward him in january. its less abt injuring him and more abt him having to sit out of games not for like. lineup stats/compatibility reasons

oh my god typing this all out made me realize we haven't met like. half of the guys on the team yet. i was sitting here like "i need to rewatch eps with all the knights bc i dont trust myself to write percy and elyan accurately" but now i just realized i dont even know if mordred is on the like. squad yet or if he's still with the u18s (after a brief check with my info page he is. i'm gonna be sick)

like i said there is a LOT of info on this . sorry this was so long i just needed to ramble a bit and it also made me realize some info i still need to include so yayyy :3 thank you nonny if u have anything u wanna know in specific like fr anything PLEASE ask. i'd love it so much if u asked. u saved my life <3

#long post #anon #answered #football au #merlin #merthur

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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SaL anon here friend and I don't know about you but I'm so, so tired. Amazing how the rush of excitement I got at seeing the promo pics for an actual dramatic emergency could instantly be taken out by a 7 second promo. I feel like KR got the news well before the official announcement and said "I'm going to turn this finale into everything I want", and basically decided to push everyone but Buck to the sidelines and make them observers while pairing him with her failed self-insert. And ugh, the only thing equally as bad as the prospect of L being involved in saving everyone is the prospect of the emergency just being like a quarter of the episode and us wasting the rest of the time on wrapping up Buck's many, many, many storylines. I know we don't know for sure this is what would happen, but KR has given us no reason to think it won't. Frankly I think we should let ABC know that should they, in taking over 911, choose to retcon anything (or everything) from the last two seasons we're okay with that, and no questions will be asked.

And yeah, I can definitely agree that while Buck taking over during a crisis would be a nice way to get closure on his doubts from episode 1, the path there (if one can call it a path, which implies it goes somewhere) makes absolutely no sense. I don't even want to think about how they are going to shove Natalia (I think she's around next episode?...still) and a baby into the whole mess. I honestly would have easily taken 50% less Buck this season if they had just taken the time do the leadership arc well and have this grand emergency to show that off.

So while I'm kind of resigned on the finale for OG, I have a bit more hope for the LS one, though I too am hard side-eyeing the "earn the wedding" comments. Who exactly has to earn this wedding? The audience? They make the effort to tune in regularly despite some pretty shitty writing choices, I think they're owed a debt. The characters? Not sure how two people being in an long-term relationship and seeing each other through hardships hasn't earned them a wedding. We'll see what happens, but at this point its the odds are 50/50 that this "tragedy" will involve either a hospital or a crime scene (or both)

Hi my friend! I have been under the weather this week and ended up being out of town all day today so I am *literally* tired, but also I am WITH you on my excitement for the finale getting sucked away by half that promo being of L and her once again butchering line delivery on something as minimal as "mayday" 🙄 I already got my hopes up for a good firefam feels focused episode and got let down by 6x11 SO HARD, so I'm just going to operate under the worst assumptions that way I can, hopefully, end the episode with a "could have been worse I guess". Although I went into 6x17 with zero expectations and the show still managed to let me down anyway soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm sure KR knew something was up, the negotiations were *rough* last year so I'm sure they were all told to prepare. And since it's something the show usually does, wrapping up nicely each season, it won't feel out of place, however I'm also worried the emergency won't be that long. Seasons 2-4 all had a cliffhanger in the penultimate episode to get people to tune in to the finale but 6x17 did NOT give people a lot of reason to HAVE to tune in. At least s5 made the effort of showing that firetruck crash like 8000 times over the week and making it look like Bobby was in danger, even if it was just a 5 min emergency that ultimately didn't do anything at all or affect anyone. They couldn't even be bothered to give a promo until Friday and without a cliffhanger, what's the hook to draw everyone in for the finale? Because you know those casual viewers are scouring the internet for news about the show, hell, most of them probably figured with no promo that 6x17 WAS the finale! Madney got engaged which is usually a season finale thing so I wonder how many of them though that was it!

"I honestly would have easily taken 50% less Buck this season if they had just taken the time do the leadership arc well and have this grand emergency to show that off." 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 SAAAAAAAME. They should have spent less time trying to turn everything about his storylines into a joke and actually delved into HIS emotions more. Instead we got the whole sperm baby now being about some rando characters we don't even know or care about's emotions for some reason?! His death being turned into "haha funny math skills for ONE episode only!" And this whole death doula thing where we haven't even heard them actually really talking about anything and what we did see was her being DEEPLY insensitive and unempathetic for her line of work, and then a parade of Buck's awful choices to remind everyone of them for??? What reason exactly? To give her a reason to leave? When after what we've seen we....didn't even need her in the first place? Like, WHAT has she actually said or done that has actually been meaningful or addressed Buck's death? We saw some of the aftermath in his talk with Eddie at the cemetery but what purpose besides giving Buck another LI he met on a call is she actually serving? Anything important could have been imparted by a victim at a call, and that triggered Buck to talk to someone in his firefam (OR HIS THERAPIST FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!), and given us a peek into Buck's head about it. Instead we have wasted all this time on what? An excuse to bring two of the most audience hated characters back? WHAT?! Like, literally, who allowed this to happen? WHOMST in that production team looked at this absolute mess that KR presented as an idea and said "yeah, that works!" ?!?!?!?! Sorry, I'm too grouchy to try and make sense of this, it's just SO stupid and such a waste of time, the ONE thing KR is good at.

As for LS, I still haven't gotten to watch last week's episode. I'm hoping to watch it tomorrow but at this point I'm just watching that show with an "eh. This might as well happen I guess" because I'm out of energy for much more than that. I've seen some of the spec floating around but mostly I'm just excited that we were all right and Paul is officiating. Bobby is gonna be sooooo jealous. But for real, WHAT is this idea on shows that characters have to "earn" happiness and that always meaning that someone like, dies, or they have to be miserable in 98% of the episodes to get one or two happy scenes before the next tragedy strikes? Because I think the WRITING should have to earn the payoff and neither show has managed to do that this season.

Here's expecting the worst so we aren't TOO disappointed, while holding space to be happy if Andrew manages to get around the nonsense KR insisted on to give us a decent emergency because I doubt we'll get a satisfying wrap up for anything else on the Buck or Eddie front. Maybe we'll get extra lucky and the backlash after this week (and on that TVLine article, seriously what did they expect with that question?) will get L's scenes cut as much as possible again. For old times sake. Pretty much every article comment space, review space, and SM space I've seen has been pretty clear about KR needing to be gone so here's hoping ABC is taking notes! At the very least, their promo team can't possible be worse, right?

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #anti lucy donato #for blacklisting purposes #i want to be excited but it works better for ME personally to not be right now #and then maybe be pleasantly surprised when it airs and the emergency takes more than 15 minutes #sorry to everyone else in my inbox it was a rough week

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