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asleepinawell · 3 years

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Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

#book recs #books #mp

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hildorien · 3 years

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Mercy and Pity are important themes to tolkien but I think it’s important to think about aboyt what groups tolkien writes are deserving of pity and mercy and who are not.

Especially in regards to humanity, especially non-dunedain humanity. Orcs are more pitable than the Haradrim and Easterlings. Half the time the dunedain are the ones brutalizing them when they aren’t directly fighting under Sauron’s orders, through imperialism and colonialism. Numenor took them as slaves, the faithful settle comfortably into colonies numenoreans made to set up their new empire in midddle earth, and the Gondorians repeated would expand into their lands and take them (a habit that DOES NOT STOP WITH ARAGORN, he does it too. He goes pass the sea of rhun and sets up shop with Eomer). So many humans don’t get second chances like other characters do, kinslayers in the first age get a chance for forgiveness but the bulk of humanity is just left out to dry, no Valar come and “help them” (though help in terms of the dunedain is the Valar changing their entire philology and going “I can’t understand it so I’m gonna make it more like me” with dissterous results), Morgoth and Sauron are the ONLY ones who ever reach out to them from the ainur (we know nothing about what the blue wizards did). Their “crimes” are basically “some Easterlings in the first age betrayed the elves so all humans expect the edain are bad now” and how is that even fair? How can you even blamed for that? It feels like an in universe excuse to brutalize the Easterlings and Haradrim and all other men (really sus how Rohan goes from treasured friend to SPAWNS OF SATAN when they are suspected to not be on Gondor’s side anymore Huh?) by the dunedain at the council of elrond, they aren’t deserving of pity and mercy because that would mean viewing them as a fellow and equal human, on the same level of you (a good noble dunedian, a king among other men), which cannot be when you need to find an excuse to take their things but don’t wanna seem like the bad guy and it feels really explicit to me that is the case.

The dunedian are just a small group of elites in one small part of middle earth, what they call the middle-men and men of darkness make up 80-97 percent of MOST of middle earth’s population. It would make almost all of humanity evil expect this elfy group and the special cases of men they happen to like, it’s a pretty selective and small club to be in and everyone else is not worthy to be in. Hell there are probably places in middle earth full of humans who don’t know what a morgoth, sauron, or elf is, middle earth is a big place even bigger once eru reshaped the world (some drafts say he made new land masses and oceans to fill the new rounded earth) are they guilty too? How is that fair?

It feels reductive and infuriating to have it this way sometimes, to act as if these easterling and Haradrim soldiers don’t have families, people’s, kin, langues beliefs, and value and are worthy of slaughter just because they didn’t get what the edain got so many years ago. There is a very sad and real narrative of sauron galavanizing and using the Haradrim and Easterlings righteous anger aganist Gondor at what they did to them to his evil schemes. All we get is ONE line from Sam of all people, pondering the humanity of Haradrim man who dies. That’s all the nuance we get. Homer in the iliad managed to humanize the Trojans better despite being the enemies in Ancient Greece than tolkien managed to do. I always felt it was intresting that in all his talks about Gondor has become to currupted, Faramair never once brings up Gondor own very xenophobic history (the biggest civil war in gondorian history was because a gondorian king had a non dunedian mother and people were so mad about they went and tried to depose him murdering that king’s son in cold blood and it dissolved into a bloody civil war!) and their shared humanity with the people they fighting never comes up.

I think personally a intresting way to view the fourth age is less of a “golden age” sorta speak and more of a very long complex series of gondorians kings following Aragorn trying to fix and make relationships with other mannish kingdoms that fucking HATE Gondor, for actually pretty valid reasons. If this is gonna be the age of men, like go for it, commit, they are gonna finally have to forge some kind relationship with other men. Also to think about it a lot of these Haradrim and Easterlings have probably been probably built up, sorta speak, by sauron, and probably much richer and more militarized than Gondor since Gondor has been in a state of constant war and decline for the better half of century and probably realistically gonna have to do a lot of politicking to stay alive? Frankly. Since I can’t imagine many of their non vassal neighbors like them much. I think the fourth age is a really good opprunity to go death to the author and just create your own mannish kingdoms or empires, go nuts, the world is your sandbox, tolkien can’t stop you. The age of men is upon us, so many OCs could be created. Speaking of that, mannish history is such a blank slate we should be thinking more about the wacky hildorien acentures early men got up too. I think it’s a little boring to imagine the only kingdoms of men belonged to Gondor and Rohan, like Dale is an example of a (to my knowledge) non edian mannish kingdoms who is just vibing? Who is to say there is not more? If I know anything about history humans will see a river valley and go free real estate and set up shop for centuries.

I wanna conclude with a qoute by someone much more eluquent and smarter than me @warrioreowynofrohan “The Kinslayers recieved mercy. The Easterlings recieved annihilation,” and that really is one sentence that explains the sadness of it all. The non-edain and non-dunedian deserve so much better (and Im the biggest edain fan) than what tolkien gave them.

(Seriously, read their meta on Easterlings in the silm, it’s really good.)

#tea with milk #Easterlings #Haradrim #lotr #meta #always sus on how Gondor and the lotr try to make Rohan and Druedain all retro actively related to the edain #as an excuse to explain why they receive kindness and good things when they kick around all others #I guess you could go ‘it’s first sin’ but like also god is like ‘don’t blame the son for the sins of the father’ so idk man #also warrior if your reading this and would like me to un @ you #just dm me #I have nothing but respect for your work and your meta inspired me greatly and I don’t want to misinterpret your work #to be deleted #all men are Easterlings lol because that’s where is they came from all of them #the dunedian really just like going ‘we’re not like other girls’#yes some Easterlings and Haradrim are bad people but also numenoreans and gondorians can also be equally bad people #really intresting how it’s implied a lot of the early numenoreans were escapees from easterling thralldom and then their ancestors went #on to enslave Easterlings and Haradrim later on #the Easterlings and Haradrim and edain probably have more in common than the dunedian #i think about this a lot

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thehippaes · 3 years

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The worst of Bangers - playlist

Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ZZ3PEFfGCqNIVWUVpFt9t?si=4842722153114449 Intro Unbearable narcissist that I am, I was thrilled to see that Isaac Asimov’s Foundation was being adapted into a big budget straight-to-the-internet TV series not because I honestly thought it would be any good, but because I hoped it might finally vindicate one of Bangers’ most (perhaps unfairly?) maligned songs if a few more people consumed the source material that it was an extremely concise precis of. As it happens I’m proper enjoying the series, faithless as the adaptation is - incorporating both emotions and women (two of my favourite things) neither of which were really even hinted at in the books. This train of thought, the fact that Small Pleasures turned 10 earlier this year, and my realisation that I find most of the Bangers back catalogue to weigh heavily on my creative soul as well intentioned but badly executed trash, led me to create a Spotify playlist called The worst of Bangers and write this accompanying blog to revisit some of the most forgotten, dismissed and/or reviled deep cuts. Before I start, these songs are included for a variety of metrics, often because they have a noted down-turn of listens on Spotify compared their album position. That’s not a great metric for a band who split up before Spotify achieved the godlike ubiquity that it now enjoys, but c’est la pomme de la terre. If you can hum any of these songs just by reading their names then you’re doing better than me 3 hours ago. Asimov When Bird was released, I remember several people telling me that this song shouldn’t have made the cut. I got the impression that some people thought it was a joke that didn’t sit that well on an album that was mostly dwelling on depression and suicide, and some others thought it was just a bit shit. Exactly nobody told me that they understood what I was getting at, so for the sake of posterity I’ll explain what it meant to me. Foundation – as I see it – is a musing on humankind’s repeated inability to learn one of the most universal lessons. The story begins with the fall of the Galactic Empire, and each subsequent generation confronts a crisis which requires rejecting the philosophy of the previous generation. Each time, the ruling forces adamantly refuse to realise this – rigidly adhering to the most recent philosophy - until one character tricks them into it and saves the day, thus ushering in a new age. I find the prescience of this to be one of the most depressing facts of human existence, and something I was wallowing in at the time, hence the song. Listening back I think the chorus is great, and Andrew’s weird bass slide in the middle is a joy. Vibrate This song is undeniably cool, but every time we played it people stared at us like we were stupid. I think it’s the emotional pay-off for Bird, after such a miserable time it’s just an acceptance that probably the healthiest thing to do is to accept defeat and plod on ignoring all the glitzy wiff-waff and intriguing mysticism in the world. This is the Bangers song I still sing to myself when I’m doing really practical DIY like building shelves. The truth that I’m more of a practical ox of a guy than an ethereal waif has been one of the healthiest realisations of my life. Stressful Festival The only thing that I ever heard said about this song was that it sounded ‘like Bangers’ on an album that largely didn’t. I think that’s bullshit, Bangers very rarely played this kind of classic on-the-beat punk vibe. Two interesting facts about this song: 1. I remember writing all the guitar riffs in Berlin after playing with De Cracks in the Ramones Museum and their Ramones-core translating much better to acoustic guitar than any of Banger’s music did. 2. While recording I puked in my mouth singing “sick to death of every one of you” and swallowed it again before coming in for the last chorus. If you listen really hard you can hear it coming up. A Quite Different Coastline In amongst the fairly weird Crazy Fucking Dreams album, this song performs especially badly with people who aren’t in Bangers. I think it rips, but Spotify figures confirm a proper dip compared to the rest of this album. I just don’t know what’s wrong with people sometimes! Bad Jokes Someone in Austria told me to my face that this song was too boring, and we pretty much stopped playing it after that. I think it has a janky song structure, and the nearest thing to a chorus it has (none of the songs on Crazy Fucking Dreams really have a chorus) isn’t that catchy, but I think the song is OK. I can confirm that nobody ever shouted for us to play it live. The Nick of Time OK, here’s a proper deep-cut. It’s the first B-side from the Blind Hindsight single, and I couldn’t remember anything about it before listening today. I remember we cut it from Crazy Fucking Dreams because it didn’t sit well with the other songs, but on reflection it really carried the core message that I was trying to get across in that album. Namely that history forgets just about everybody, so why should we feel obligated to be interested in anything that’s mainstream enough to be remembered. I suspect that the lyrics are not that relatable, but they’re a good diary entry for me to remember the first person I ever watched die. Log Jam Second B-side. I believe we only ever had two B-sides. We recorded this in our practise room in Exeter, and I seem to remember we tracked it back to front with the piano first and drums last. Maybe Hamish was at work until late or something. This is the song to drag out if anyone tries to tell you Bangers were just a gruff punk band who sounded like The Menzingers. I think there’s a weird time signature change, and that’s probably not because we were trying to be clever if you know what I mean. A man like Jack McCall This is named after the guy who shot Wild Bill in Deadwood. I loved that show, but at the time I knew I was much more a drunken cowardly shit-heel than any of the heroic (or at least stoic) characters. It was on the Good Livin’ EP which I find mostly unlistenable because of some very sketchy guitar playing. This was the weird plodder at the end which we probably played live a handful of times and then realised that nobody really wanted to hear it and it wasn’t that fun to play. Every night’s a date night On the subject on not being fun to play, this song was always a pain. Something about the timing at the start just baffled Hamish, so we ditched playing it as soon as we had enough songs. However in my mind this is one of THE archetypal Bangers songs, it’s got that lolloping, on-the-push rhythm, not a normal power chord in sight, and three quite distinct sections without anything approaching a chorus. Small Pleasures is definitely our most listened to album on Spotify, but where some of those songs really defined how Bangers were perceived, this never really landed. The Love Nest I straight up laughed out loud today when I saw we’d called a song The Love Nest. I couldn’t remember anything about it until I listened to it today for the first time in years. We played this a lot when we were relevant to the DIY scene in about 2011, and I think people used to sing along. It’s included here because I fully forgot it existed. There was a positive vibe (when no one was left alive) + Walking on the ground These two songs make up the Last Songs EP (single?) that we just about managed to release in time for our last ever show. I think we’d decided to split up by the time we recorded them, but I wouldn’t put money on it. I don’t know if we ever played Positive Vibe live, which is a shame because both songs are great. I think the album that these songs were meant to become would have nailed a good mix of dirty pop that we were aiming at in that moment. We probably would have messed it up though. Outro After I put this playlist together I went and listened to Challenger – Give people what they want in lethal doses as a pallet cleanser. I heartily recommend you do the same. Go and support Andrew and Kay’s new doughnut shop Future Doughnuts in Bristol, and visit Hamish in Cambridge. I’m doing fine. Roo

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xxmisty · 4 years

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My Big Humiliating Torchwood Confession - Part 1 :P

Warning: this will be a LONG post, and i’m sorry about that!

Lucy is sat opposite me asking me repeatedly if I’ve started typing yet because she knows how desperately i’m putting off making this post!!1

This is awful, this is.... probably the most embarrassingly intimate confession i’ll have made since the day I opened up about my fetish way back at the start of 2013. And on the surface of it it probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal but IT IS TO ME! And a big chunk of the trauma i’m about to express is tongue in cheek but it’s genuinely been - and continues to be - a huge bundle of DISTRESS AND HUMILIATION AND UTTER RESENTMENT!!! Because this year has been.... one hell of a personal journey and i don’t even mean anything to do with the pandemic.

It all started on New Year’s Day. I was feeling horrendously ill; the miraculous medication that had started to give me my life back had run out and thanks to the festive postal delays my new lot hadn’t arrived yet. I was in agony, I had a horrible headache, I felt sick and I could hardly move. We spent the day watching a bunch of muppet stuff, and that night we watched the first ep of season 12 of Doctor Who and, y’know, it was a pretty damn good episode (plus thirteen in the suit.... fuuckkk)

So afterwards we started having a discussion about Chris Chibnall - we’ve long held criticisms about some of his writing (not all of it, but it’s a mixed bag) and Lucy told me I still hadn’t seen his worst writing because that was for Torchwood...

Which I had never seen. Which I had been desperately trying not to see, although I didn’t know why. I just always had this vibe like a big “NO ENTRY!” sign at the idea of ever watching it. It’s not as though I had a logical reason for it, it’s not like I’d read up about it and thought, ‘naahhhhhh, I don’t fancy watching that’. I just had a big WARNING sign in my head, telling me not to go there.

Several years ago Lucy made me watch the first episode (after i’d been avoiding her threats of showing it to me for like 2 years) and like... it wasn’t horrible? It wasn’t... great either... but it didn’t kill me. Then a couple of years ago she showed me Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang because we were having a big Runaways phase so she wanted to show me an episode with James Marsters in. Again, it didn’t kill me. It wasn’t horrible. But I still had those big NO ENTRY!!! signs up in my head. I was still trying desperately to avoid actually being shown Torchwood as a show.

And the the new year happened and I was too WEAK AND DEFENCELESS to know what was happening when Lucy and I cuddled up in bed that night. I was too sick to really comprehend what she was doing or to fight back when she announced she was going to show me the very worst of Chris Chibnall’s writing... and put on Day One followed by Cyberwoman.

Oh. My. God.

All day I had been in a state of physical agony. Suddenly my mental and emotional state was far, FAR worse!!! The sex gas alien was bad enough, then by the time she put on Cyberwoman my brain was trying to shut down. I used to suffer blackouts and, god, I kept blacking out all the way through it, and instead of being her usual loving, wonderful self she KEPT FORCING ME TO COME ROUND TO WATCH IT!!!

By this point it was gone midnight and I was in a state of utter distress!! This was the worst double helping of tv I had ever sat through in my life and I sat up and let forth a tirade of absolute distress! This, I decided, had to be the reason I’d been avoiding Torchwood. Because it was more like.... Torurewood :P

Yep, that had to be it. Couldn’t possibly be anything worse, could it?

At least now lucy had shown me those two terrible Chibnall eps I would NEVER EVER HAVE TO WATCH THEM AGAIN. Or ANY Torchwood episodes. Yes, my ordeal was over. Had to be.

Nope. We went back to bed and she put on Out if Time. And i’ll admit, the story was much stronger but goddddd I had issues with the endings! And my level of despair started to rise even higher. I HATED Torchwood! This was the most distressing night’s viewing ever and I just wanted to go to sleep and be done with it all! Lucy put one more episode on afterwards: They Keep Killing Suzie. And that was much better but halfway through we finally fell asleep - so surely my trauma was over with.

Nope.

I had horrible nightmares of a very thirsty Gwen coming onto me all night, over and over again and it was HORRIBLE!!! Like, you have no idea how distressed I was! And when I woke up I blamed lucy whole-heartedly and she very sympathetically laughed at my plight!

But yeah. My trauma was over. No more Torchwood. I’d suffered the night from hell. Now it was time to pick up the pieces of my shattered life and move on! My medication arrived that day, I started work on some new pet portraits and life went back to normal.

Until that night, when I saw the telltale sign of Lucy putting a video on and turning her iPad around and then there they were - the opening titles of Torchwood - and I wanted to jump out the boat and into the canal and swim as far away as possible!!!

But the episode she put on was Fragments. She said she wanted to show me Chris Chibnall’s finest episode. And y’know what? It was really pretty fucking good. And god, I was fURIOUS about that!!! When we went to bed she pulled a real double whammy though by putting on Adam - which became instantly one of my favourite episodes of ANYTHING, EVER. And I looked at my wife, shook my head, sighed and told her, ‘nice save, Lucy... nice save...’

Over the next couple of weeks we also had a major Doctor Who rewatch and revisited most of the New Who era, and - to my mixed feelings - she dotted various other episodes of Torchwood in around them. I was conflicted - after the Adam and Fragments double bill I was no longer in brain-screamy hatred territory. I did however keep having flashbacks to that godawful night. Plus i’d had several further nightmares about a thirsty Gwen and I did NOT like it! But by a couple of weeks into January I’d seen a fair bit of Torchwood. Some of them twice.

Around this same time I’d started back in testosterone after not being able to afford it for the last 3 years. And then I started to notice I was getting some..... urghhhhhh..... unusual... and very uncomfortable feelings... about certain.... things... and characters.

And I started falling headlong into a great big gay panic :P

And here’s where the whole story becomes a HELL of a lot more embarrassing so i’m going to put it under a read more :P

Did ya click on that read more? Wh-why? there’s nothing to see here... especially not a long tale of shame and distress :P ugggghhhhhhh ok, FINE;

Basically there were two things happening at the same time. One was that I started to feel something I hadn’t felt in two decades. When I was a kid/teen we didn’t have the phrase ‘hyperfixation’ so I just called them obsessions. I always had obsessions, at any given point there was always this ONE THING that was my entire life. i lived it, breathed it, became it. It was my whole world, my whole personality, my focus, my lifeline. 9 times out of 10 it would be a tv show. Between the ages of 12 and 15 I would generally change my obsession about once a month. There were several ‘usual suspects’ that would cycle around over and over - Red Dwarf, The Brittas Empire, Sonic the Hedgehog, Halfway Across the Galaxy, Parallel 9, Out of this World...

late in 1995 I became obsessed with The X Files and - bizarrely - that obsession just ran and ran. I was so used to my obsession changing around once every month that it was bizarre to still be absolutely hyperfixated on it almost 9 months later. And then, in June 1996, my longest ever obsession took its place, a little known uk fantasy show called Bugs.

That... was my longest running obsession. And oh my god, was I ever obsessed with it. I have no idea how that one obsession kept going for 3 years. i’m sorry this is particularly wordy but this is kind of personal and I want to explain this right.

If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll probably known that one of the most defining moments of my life happened in the summer of ‘98. My cousin’s husband sexually assaulted me and my life spiralled into total despair. While that night was bad enough, the slow breakdown I went through over the course of the year that followed was harder to recover from. And eventually I came out the other side to some degree but i’d lost my love of three things that made me the person I was: writing, drawing and being obsessed. All three were so closely entangled with that night and surviving afterwards that it changed something that had always been a fundamental part of me.

I was no longer able to feel obsession. To hyperfixate the way I previously had. It was like something was broken inside me. And that was like a loss unto itself. It was SUCH a big part of me. It had been the only way i’d survived years of depression when I was young. My obsessions were what kept me afloat.

In the last decade there are a few things that I called ‘obsessions’ and I thought were as close as I would ever get to the way I used to feel. I thought maybe it was because i’d ‘grown up’ (pah). That’s not to say that i wasn't thoroughly into Ashes to Ashes, FNAF and Homestuck, for example, because of course I was! I even called them obsessions, but there was something that just... wasn’t the same, no matter what I did.

And over time, I got back the other things I’d lost. I started writing my A2A fics in 2010 and Lucy helped me to start drawing again in 2018 and god, both times it was like finally having a piece of myself returned after so long! As for my ‘obsessions’, I just thought I wasn't able to feel the way I used to because I wasn’t a kid any more.

But then, I thought that about Christmas Eve too, and then lucy came into my life <3

Still, the last thing I was expecting was... for *those* feelings to start sneaking back in my life. Feelings I hadn’t been able to experience since the summer of 1998-9. And to my further distress I discovered that they were relating to a certain show that I’d had a traumatising introduction to on new year’s day...

Suddenly it was all I could think about; TORCHWOOD! TORCHWOOD! Aargghhhhh and yet I still hated it! It was still awful! And yet... at the same time... it was so goooooooood.... arghhhhh, every time we watched an episode there was a knife twisting in my guts, reminding me that I hadn’t even felt these feelings over things we’d been HUGELY into... the fandoms we’d met through, the fandoms we discovered together. Nope. It was Torchwood that brought back my ability to hyperfixate! And I have SO MANY ANGRY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!!!! Grrrrrrrrr!!

And believe me, I kept thinking it was going to stop and go away BUT IT HASN’T! It’s only gotten worse! And as of yesterday Torchwood officially became my second longest obsession ever!!!

I. AM. FURIOUS!!!

It’s... urrghhhh I hate this fact but it’s almost like I have a crush on the *show*??!!! I... can’t explain it better than that??? It’s like, if I could throw Torchwood on the bed and make sweet, sweet love to it I would :P and yeah, i’m saying all of this tongue in cheek but i’ve had a fucking sky high libido ever since I went back on T (ohhhhh and believe me I am LOVING it!!! 💙💙💙) But it’s like... there are elements of Torchwood itself that are so fucking hot that I get.... reactions that I am SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED ABOUT for so many reasons deidjdhdggjhaaahhhhhhhhh

Lucy literally only has to say ‘Torchwood’ at me and I end up in a gibbering heap half the time - I am not even kidding!!!

This, however, is NOT the worst thing that happened as a result of Lucy making me watch this god damned show.

But honestly this post has gone on WAY too long already so i’m going to save that for part 2.

Oh god... my shame.... my total and utter shame....

To be continued :P

#torchwood #about me #me #obsessions #hyperfixation #moirspritmaterail blogging #Lucy is MEAN!!!#my posts

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rosierocks30 · 3 years

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Hidden: Ch.16

Chapter 16: Deception

(Historia)

It’s been three weeks since Levi tried to take her away from this hell. The only companion she felt safe was with Ymir who somehow was in her subconscious. Historia doesn’t know how it happened, but it helped her get through being Nathaniel’s obedient queen. The blonde woman had started to come out of her chamber to roam some areas of the palace or go to the beautiful gardens whenever she was tired being in her chamber.

Today, the sun has shined on the west wing side of the garden. It’s one of her favorite gardens from all of them here. This garden has so many wildflowers and ponds with bridges and benches to enjoy. The geese and ducks gathered to swim in the ponds. There are also few swans which she doesn’t know how Nathaniel could afford them, especially the nation has very high national debts it needed to be paid.

Historia was wearing a light pink dress made of silk with white and red roses as patterns. Her hat was light pink with a big white flower to match. The pearls around her neck were a gift from her “husband”. She hated these pearls and anything, Nathaniel had given her, but Ymir was right. She needed to play her part until it’s the right time to escape. Don’t expect anyone to save you if you want to be saved. So do it for yourself.

Her blue eyes stared down at a pretty powder blue book made of leather with golden letters for the title. This book was not a storytelling book. It was a dairy; her mother’s dairy. Historia found this book in one of the old studyroom of this palace. Turns out it was her grandfather’s; then it was passed on her uncle then Frieda’s. Probably her older sister found it and hid it somewhere in that room so no one finds it. At first, the queen was reluctant to open the book to read it. Humph. Why should she care about her mother’s life before she existed? She was aware how much her own mother despised her.

The young queen began to open the dairy and started to read the first page. Her mother was around a couple years younger than her when her father’s wife hired her as a maid. For the first several pages, all it mentioned was how excited she was to work at the palace. The way she had described inside the palace was familiar how the palace is now. To Historia, her mother was a teenager with dreams of wanting to be part of the upper class’s life. While the queen was reading more into the diary, one of her ladies-in-waiting spoke to get her attention.

“Your Majesty, the King is waiting for you to have lunch with him at the garden on the east wing.” The lady said. Historia laid the diary on her lap to nod.

“Very well.” She sighed then gripped the book as the royal woman got up then started to walk to where Nathaniel was.

By the time she and her ladies reached to the east wing of the palace, Historia entered the garden where Nathaniel was already sitting sipping wine. The servants was serving lunch when the queen spotted them.

“Ah, my dearest. I’m pleased you’re here to join me for lunch.” Nathaniel glanced up to see his wife coming towards him.

Historia had her expression neutral as she went to sit on the empty chair. The table was small and made of marble with glass on top of the surface. She glanced down at the dish being served. Historia gave the servant a small smile to show her appreciation of their dedication to making it look delicious.

“I was feeling hungry so I decided to come to eat.” She said. One of the servants served wine to her. At first, she was going to reject, but the queen had remembered Nathaniel is here. To get through their lunches, Historia will need something strong to endure this date.

“It’s good that your appetite has returned. I assume you are getting better from your foolish attempt to escape from a few weeks ago.” He stared at her waiting to see how she would react.

Of course, Historia wanted to grab the knife in front of her to stab him into his eyes. Her rage was rising up but a familiar voice kept her at bay.

Hey chill, remember play the goody good Krista in order to gain his trust then strike him.

Ymir said in her mind which thank the walls Historia was trying to calm herself down. The blonde queen finally stared into his eyes and gave him a smile. This smile was not one of her sweet warm ones.

“Yes, I had time to think about my actions, husband. For that, I hope you will forgive me. I will do better and remember my place as your queen and beloved wife.” Historia said.

The blue eyed queen noticed the way Nathaniel gloated at her admitting mistakes. She wanted to throw her wine at him for being an arrogant gullible asshole. Historia slowly sips her wine.

“This makes me happy to hear.” he smirked. “So, tell me how was your morning? I’m sure you were busy with many duties to manage order in the palace.”

“It has been a busy morning. I noticed you want to do a charity event ball? May I ask what kind of charity is it, my king?” The way she spoke made her want to gag. It just feels so forced when she said, her king.

She remembered during her mid pregnancy, Historia had considered to give Levi a title. He rejected that offer so many times, but Historia was stubborn not to give up in convincing him to accept it.

(Flashback)

“Levi, I know you don’t like it but can you-” She was interrupted by her husband.

“No.” He said bluntly.

She pouted. “My love, you don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“Whatever it is. The answer is no.” He said stubbornly.

“Humph. You should have a title.” Historia finished her sentence which Levi raised his brow.

“You know I don’t care about titles.” His beautiful silver eyes with a hint of blue looked into her.

“I know, but when that day comes of our marriage and the baby being publicized; the council will make you take a title by their choice. I just brought it up because I want you to pick your own title and not let anyone choose it for you.” She said with concern.

Levi still stared at her but it softened. He understood what she was trying to say. He leaned to kiss gently on her lips. Oh how she loved his sweet soft lips. His walls dropped from time to time to get where they are now. Levi was not afraid to be soft and gentle with his wife. To Historia, this was happiness. Seeing the man she loves, being his true self around her. There was no mask or anything to separate between him and her. His thumb caressing her soft pink cheek with affectionate.

“How about the Queen’s heart?” He mumbled.

Historia grinned when she saw a light blush on his face. “Oh is that a blush I see?” She teased him.

“Tch, brat.” He said while Historia laid her head on his chest with a victory grin in making the Captain Levi Ackerman blushed.

(End Flashback)

Historia was trying not to smile so Nathaniel won’t suspect her why she was smiling. Nathaniel took a bite out of a piece of cut fruit.

“It’s a charity to raise money for security to make sure other nations will think twice in attacking us.” He said.

“Basically, funding the military?” Historia raised her brow in confusion.

Nathaniel placed his eating utensils on the plate. “Yes, but not the ones we used to have. I disband them all to recruit a new army to obey their king. The three regiments had ruled this nation far too long. It’s time for the monarchs like us to retake our divine rights.”

“I see. Why didn’t you just convert the military’s power to yours instead of disbanding them. We’re on the brink of war with Marley.” She doesn’t know if Nathaniel realized they need their soldiers more than ever which concerned her.

“I don’t trust them. Don’t worry. Marley is too busy with their own issues. Beside, we have the templar’s support to protect us until our new military is ready.” Nathaniel was so sure of his decisions.

Historia sighed. When she was in power, at least the late Premier Zackely let her have some power in order to help the common people. As long as she doesn’t interfered very delicate decisions. A part of her wanted to have all the power as a ruler should have so she won’t be limited to help others and make life a bit easier for the common people. In her perspective, they are the driving force of the economy.

Historia stayed quiet as her lips pressed on the rim of her wine glass slowly sipping. The templars were nothing but greedy hypocrites. She wonders if there are prisoners in the dungeon. The queen will make plans to ditch her ladies in waiting to investigate on her own later.

“If you think this is the best; then nothing can’t go wrong right?” She finally said something. Of course, her words were full of bullshit, but Nathaniel is a gullible man. His ego is too big; it’s suffocating.

What wonders her the most is that grandmaster. He gives off a cunning backstabbing vibe. She preferred to have Nathaniel in power than a man like Alexander Di Lorenzo. She feels something bad will happen and Historia gotta make an efficient plan to save her people and her loved ones.

“Of course it does. By the way tonight, I won’t be visiting. Probably not for a few days.” He said. The queen was relieved about this. She doesn’t know if there will be another night of repulsiveness of having him do things only her true husband can make her feel loved and passionate. A faded smirk spread on her lip. She will use those days to explore unwanted areas.

(Levi)

He doesn’t know how long he was a prisoner. It’s felt like years for him. Levi was back at the animus to finish the life of his ancestor, Arne Ackerman. The captain waited for the male version of Shitty Glasses to turn on the machine. He took a deep breath as the glass-like hover over his eye view. Levi closed his eyes as the machine made it’s countdown then everything went black again.

Eldia Empire, 1555

Arne Ackerman was busy helping his father setting the plots of crops on their 10 acres of land. They are almost done as winter solstice will arrive in several months. Arne had grown through the years being raised by two loving parents. Throughout his growing years, Arne had wondered why he never took after neither of his parents in looks or anything. Both of them had lighter hair colors with grays of strands coming out.

He looked at his father to notice his nose was different than his along his mother’s too. At first, he was curious until one day in the village; Arne was on an errand to buy some minerals for the soils. There were some whispers from old crones near him. They were looking at him as they whispered to each other. Arne rolled his eyes in annoyance. Those old crones are nothing but gossipers. As he paid the man for the special soils, he heard what the gossips were about.

“Oh my, Hilda’s and Birger’s kid has grown into a fine handsome man. Many village girls gossips how strong and handsome he looks.” the first crone said.

“Pfft, my granddaughter and her silly friends, that's all they talk about. It gets tiring to hear them squeal.” The second crone scoffed.

“I’m surprised Hilda was about to have a child; I thought she was barren. The gods had blessed her a fine strong son.” The third crone said.

“That poor boy is not their blooded child. Hilda is barren. Always has been. They both found him at the slave market and bought him because Hilda couldn’t bear seeing a babe being alone and a slave. So, it’s a win-win for the Ackermans and Arne.” the second crone said.

Arne couldn’t believe what he had just heard. His parents aren’t his actual parents? He was a slave. An infant slave when they bought him. The young man doesn’t know whether to be angry at. The main question was who his real parents were. Where are they? Are they alive? Did they sell him? These questions were becoming overwhelming for him.

He didn’t realize his hand was gripping on the edge of the wooden countertop of a stand. His breath was gasping for air while Arne was holding it. His parents had never bothered to tell him of his origin? Maybe there was a reason.

The dark haired man began to walk away. He was distracted with what the old crones were saying that Arne didn’t realize he bumped into someone else which they both fell on the ground. Arne opened his eyes to see a girl around his age with strawberry blonde hair. When her eyes opened, he could see they were blue like the deep ocean.

“I’m sorry for not seeing where I am going…” Arne observed the girl to notice she has a teal colored dress with golden embroidery patterns. Her cloak was royal blue. The way she dressed; this girl is a daughter or some high lord or a princess.

The girl glanced at him then blushed from realizing she’s still on top of him. “Oh dear, I think I should be the one apologizing to you, sir.” The strawberry girl gets up to dust off the dirt on her dress.

“No my lady, I should have been the one to apologize.” He gets up after she does.

“Good sir, I insist. Take my apology.” Her tone was becoming firm.

Arne sighed. This woman is a stubborn one. He gave in. “Very well my lady. I accept your apology, but I’m no knight to be called such an honorable title.”

The high born woman snorted. “Oh please, a man of your status has more what it takes to be a knight than the ones at the castle.”

The woman glanced properly at Arne to notice his exotic features. “Are you from around here?” She asked curiosity.

“Yes, I am. I should be asking you the same thing.” He said.

“I am afraid not. Let’s just say I escape from the chamber of the castle of my betrothed. Honestly, who wants to marry into that Fritz clan. They may be the ruling clan, but they are mad with their god-like persona.” The noble woman said with a cynical tone.

“My lady, it’s bad luck to speak ill of the royal family. The goddess Ymir and the gods blessed the House of Fritz as our rulers.” Arne was worried for the woman who could have angered the gods for her insults at the royal family.

“Ymir? She’s no goddess; just a woman who was granted with the power of the Titan. A blessing and a curse. We, Eldian, are cursed for many generations until some fool decides to play god to break this curse.” This woman was peculiar. She was bold to speak her mind.

Arne couldn’t tell if this woman was completely mad or just knowledgeable. He barely knows how to read and do some counting. His mother was once a servant maiden at the palace during her youth before meeting his father, a simple farmer. She has given the best education she can give. For someone like him, he was educated compared to other farmers’ kids who received no education at all. In a way, he was lucky.

“Has the gods and the goddess pissed you off?” He asked.

“In a way, yes. I’m not ready for marriage. I always wanted to explore and learn so many places from the other side of the world. Did you know? There are some female rulers like Mary I of England. I have always wanted to visit Europe. I know I’m not meant to be some prince’s bride or anyone else’s. I was supposed to be the next clan leader, but my cousin took over and offered the king a bride to his heir. The nerve of him.” She stomped her foot on the dirt in frustration.

Arne doesn’t know why this woman decided to tell him this. A simple apology was all it took for them to go their separate ways. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He said awkwardly.

The noblewoman noticed how awkward he sounded by her rant. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to lay my burdens on you. By the way, how rude of me for not introducing myself. I’m Lady Ingrid of the Völsung clan. What’s yours, good sir?”

“I’m Arne Ackerman, son of two humble farmers, Birger and Hilda Ackerman, mi’ lady.” He said. Ingrid stared at him curiously.

“For a son of a farmer, you are educated from the way you speak.” She said.

“Yes, my mother Hilda used to work at Fritz's castle when she was a young girl until she met my father. You can say, I’m lucky I was taught the way to speak to nobles and the royal family if I encounter them. Besides, I like learning whenever I have time; I read from the books I borrowed from this village’s bookshop.” Arne’s tone became passionate whenever he mentioned learning or books. His parents praised him for his intelligence. At one point, his mother tried to convince his father to send him to a pedagogue to properly educate him so he can advance his life comfortably. Birger didn’t want to send his son away. Who will maintain this land if Birger Ackerman died? By the law of the Eldia Empire; it’s Arne as the sole living child of the Ackermans.

Arne was determined to keep the family farm alive with his parents. He was grateful that his father at least allowed him to self-taught whenever he made time. He can understand why his mother was insisting him to become something more than just a farmer. His mother was always dotting him. He may be annoyed sometimes but he does enjoy it nonetheless.

“Ah I see. You are fortunate, Ackerman. Maybe I can use my position to get you a better occupation? “ She offered her help.

“I, thank you my lady for your offer, but I must decline. I am humble to be a farmer just like my father.” Arne bows respectfully to Lady Ingrid.

“Very well. I will respect your decision.” Ingrid gave a small smile.

Before they leave their separate ways, Ingrid hears a few men with their horses galloping through a busy main road on the village. She turned around to see those guards that were chasing her earlier looking for her. Quickly, she grabbed Arne to run into a random shop. The shop was dark and dainty. The only light it shined was from the hazy window. Both hid as the knight guards passing through the muddy street. Arne could feel the woman’s body pressed too close for his liking. Don’t get him wrong. As a man, he would enjoy it, but this woman was a high born lady. A lowly commoner must respect a high born at all cost plus his mother taught to respect women no matter what status they are. To be honest, he hasn’t ever been with a woman. Most of his time since reaching puberty, he works and reads. It had never considered him courting a decent girl. He did have a crush on a girl who was his neighbor, but she had chosen another for better crops and livestock than his family could offer.

He remembered how heartbroken he was when Arne came back home and explained that Roslyn had coaxed flirting gestures along another boy who also liked her. It was also the main reason he lost his best friend. In a way, he was happy for him; but it did hurt his pride. It’s stupid now to let his pride ruin his friendship. Maybe, he’ll stop by their land with a peace offer and have his best friend in his life again.

“Are they looking for you?” Arne stared at the strawberry blonde haired woman.

“Yes, looks like they noticed I escaped. Some of them are part of my clan.” She growled in irritation.

“You are very committed to not marry the royal heir.” His steeled eyes looked over the window

“I rather died than marrying that incompetent imbecile boy. I am a Völsung. I will not have my bloodline tainted with an idiot who prefer to suckle his mother’s tits than grow bloody balls.” Ingrid continued.

“I see you have colorful vocabularies for a beauty maiden such as yourself.” Arne let a smirk appear on his lips from being amused the way she ranted about Prince Adelrick of the Fritz clan, heir to the Eldia Empire.

Ingrid blushed from his compliment and the way she used foul words. It’s not that a lady likes to use improper words, but she was never your average high born maiden. So he labels her as beautiful? In her world of high born, most men saw her as a wild maiden that hasn’t been tamed yet. Being a Völsung, she was trained to fight and be in shape as she was supposed to inherit the Attack Titan, but her cousin took it. Her clan was the only one who still allowed their females to train like warriors. Most of the clans became soft and weak. All they worried about was how to appear like an ideal maiden or lord to woo them away and live happily ever after like the Grimm brothers’ fairytale book she was read to as a child. That’s why her clan was in charge of holding the Attack Titan. Most males were born into her bloodline until her existence. Her mother died giving birth to her and her father didn’t take another wife since he had mourned and loved her mother. She had admired her father’s loyalty to her mother. Their love story was poetic to tell.

“Yes well, if you were forced to marry some royal cunt. You would probably be colorful with your words too.” Ingrid held her chin up as her pride began to take over.

“I guess I would.” He chuckled humorly. “It makes you look human than some godly being a peasant like me should have been worshipping.” His dark humor came out.

“I never see myself as some divine maiden. Just like you, I’m a human that’s capable of making errors or has flaws.” She glanced through the window again.

“Good to know.” He glanced at the window too.

“I think it’s safe. I guess I should take my leave. Thank you for your company, Arne.” She stepped away from him which Arne felt relieved. If she had stayed closer to his body more, let just say his little friend would have woken up.

“It’s my pleasure, my lady.” He said.

“Ingrid. You may call me Ingrid since we are becoming familiar with one of another.” She said.

“That seems improper for a commoner like me to call your name.” Arne said while blushing a bit. In their society, you get to call someone their first name if you are close like friends, families, or lovers. Like in their situation, people will talk and assume their lovers. Ingrid is definitely a bold wild beauty. She’s like a she-wolf. Untamed, wild, and strong. He doesn’t find women like her these days.

“It never bothers me on what’s proper or improper. I insist. We can call each other by names. I think we are way passed being acquaintances. Beside you seem a very intriguing person to befriend.” She smirked at him.

“Hm, very well. As long in public, we still use the proper etiquette for your sake, Ingrid. People are gossipers. We don’t want them thinking the wrong idea.” He awkwardly laughs at the thought of seeing her potential crush. Oh by the gods, he can’t already be attractive to her. She’s beautiful and tough, but seeing him as her equal.

“What kind of wrong idea? That we are secret lovers?” She teased him to make his face flushed noticeably.

“Yes, they will think that since we are talking too comfortably. Besides, you’re not my type.” He is trying to play cool.

Ingrid raised her brow at him. “Not your type? Am I not a beauty as you had put it that way earlier?”

“I- you may be beautiful, but it takes more than just beauty to have my attention…” Arne coughed as he faced away from the embarrassing position he’s in. Seriously, does this woman have no shame in being too bold. She is lucky it's him and not some other man who would have taken advantage of her. He just doesn’t want to have his heart given away too easily. He had learnt his lesson.

“Oh I see? You are not like other men I have encountered. Most just want a pretty damsel in distress for a bride. The only reason men wanted me as their bride is because it will boost their ego for being known to tame a Völsung woman into a demure lady-like maiden. So what are your types?” She grinned. “Come, you can tell me on the way to your family farm.”

“Wait what? Why do you want to go to my family farm? Should you be at least going back to your clan? I can’t promise you my family and I will give you the life of your status.” He was confused about her wanting to go to his home.

“I can’t go back there. My Lord cousin will send me back to that awful place to be tied down until the wedding ceremony is complete. I am not expecting a royal treatment if that’s what concerns you.” Ingrid tried to convince him.

“What will you do or go after your stay with my family?” He said. A part of him was concerned for her well being. She won’t last long wandering alone. There are slave traders out there who kidnaps women to be sold into brothels or some disturbing masters. He is admired for her bold and brave persona but this is the real world. She will regret running away from her wedding to have freedom that she might lose to a horrible fate.

“Um, I’ll probably sell this gown and my jewels to use the money to travel away from this Empire and see the rest of the world.” Her tone was optimistic, but to him it was a naïve idea.

“I see. For now, my family and I will offer hospitality until you are certain you want to travel out of the world.” He said feeling more worried. Why show he be worried for her? She had made her decision on where to go. Also, he just met her.

Ingrid had noticed the way he asked questions like a worrying parent. To be honest, she felt flatter that her cheeks were getting warm. The noble woman had dreamt to travel and learn the world. Maybe if she convinced him to come join to travel the world then it won’t be a ridiculous plan as it sounds. Yes, she may be trained to defend herself but there will be tricksters to find a way to harm her or sell her.

“Very well. Let’s see how it goes. It’s better than going back so, let’s head to your home, Arne.” She smiled then grabbed his arm to link around hers and dragged him away to the main road that leads to the Ackerman’s farm.

It took a couple of hours to get to the 10 acres property of the Ackermans. Ingrid was amazed how neatly their crops were aligned. The hens and their chicks roaming around freely in the grassy area of the land. The place looks homey and inviting which is a different scenery than she was used to. Arne opened the little gate that he built to make it nice and aesthetic for the house. He had painted white the wooden fence around the property when he was a boy. Around the area, his neighbors hired him to do the same, which that’s how he earned enough money to buy materials to self-teach education.

“This home looks very innovative. Did your father have some knowledge in architecture or any engineering talents?” Ingrid noticed how the house was so symmetrical that it looks like an experienced engineer had done it.

He chuckled. “No, it was me who had fixed a little bit the house then added the fences.”

“That’s amazing. You have very talented hands! Sometimes I read books on engineering and mathematics to learn the most efficient structure to lead a modern era.” The way her tone sounded was excitement and admiration for his work.

“Um thank you, my- Ingrid. I mean yes, thank you. Ingrid.” Seriously, he’s just making this worse for him being a fool in front of her. She grinned then nudged his side playfully.

“It’s not a problem, lover.” She smirked.

Arne mumbled. “Oi woman, I don’t want my parents to get the wrong idea about thinking I brought a potential wife.”

“Humph, isn’t that a good thing? You are a man of age that should be married with children by now.” She said.

This made Arne glanced at her with his dark brow raised up. “I should say the same thing about you, Ingrid.”

“Ok, I had that coming, but if you should know; I would have made a wonderful wife. If I choose to settle down in the near future.” Arne trying hard not to snort into laughter. Will she last to be the wife of a farmer like him? It does sound nice to have a headstrong woman with intelligence like her as his wife. No, what are you doing? Get rid of these nonsense ideas. She is a high born, and you're a low born with no true identity. Arne still remembered the gossips of the old cronies earlier about his unknown origin. Later, he will bring this up with his parents.

“Probably to a noble or a king.” He said with a neutral tone. Ingrid noticed his tone changed as she frowned. He was being flirty in his own way for a few seconds. Maybe he doesn’t really see her that way. Don’t worry, the high born maiden was known to be stubborn and determined. She never gave her attention to any man until she met Arne.

The way he looked was different from most average Eldian men in the empire. Something in him does give off any Eldian traits. Is he connected to the curse like the rest of them? It doesn’t matter, she got some time to get to know him well enough. They were already by the front door of the house and Arne opened the door for both of them to enter.

“Mother, father. I have returned home.” He shouted for his parents to hear his arrival. It was not that long his mother walked in fast pace to greet her son, but was surprised to see Ingrid with him. Instantly, Hilda courtesy into a bow as she once did when she had worked at the palace as a girl.

“Oh my. My lady. This is a surprise to have Lady Ingrid of the Völsung clan in my home. The gods have blessed my family to have such a lovely lady as you in our presence.” Hilda was still bowing.

“Please, you don’t need to bow. I’m honored to be here. Your son has said so many wonderful things to both of you.” Ingrid smiled humbly at Hilda.

Hilda slowly rose to stand to glance at the noble woman. “Arne be a gentleman to take off her cloak and hand up.” The older woman gave a look to her son which he knows too well when he doesn’t do something right but doesn’t want to humiliate him in front of a noble.

Arne nodded to obey his mother and removed Ingrid her cloak to place it on a hanger on the wall. Ingrid let’s him then thanked him. Both of them had another blushing moment from being in too close contact to each other. The Lady Völsung felt his fingers brushing her shoulders as he slowly removed her royal blue cloak. She hopes his mother doesn’t catch on her expression and questions both of them. They don’t have anything to hide since they just met but to others it won’t stop them assuming more.

“Please do come in. Follow me, we’re about to eat supper.” Hilda smiled politely as she led both her son and Lady Ingrid to the kitchen.

Once they reached the kitchen, both Ingrid and Arne sat down as Hilda began to serve their meal. Not too long, Birger walked in to see everyone at the table.

“My lady, welcome to our home. I’m sorry I was not aware you would join us for supper.” He glanced at his wife then his son.

“Please, don’t bow. I’m just here as a guest since your kind son had invited me here.” Ingrid glanced at Arne then back to Birger.

“Ah, then please make yourself at home. We, Ackermans, offer our food, shelter and a place to rest whenever you need.” Birger said with warmth.

“Thank you. I will take on your offer, Farmer Ackerman.” She smiled.

“Shall we begin to eat.” He chuckled as he sat down and looked at his meal already served.

The Ackermans and Ingrid enjoying the meal that Hilda had prepared for supper. The pot sew was just right in taste. The broth was flavorful with a rich texture of local spice. The vegetables were cut into bite size chunks to enjoy eating along the goat meat from early morning killing. Even the bread was warm and freshly baked as Ingrid grabbed a bread roll. Hilda Ackerman is a very skilled cook. She probably learnt some of the tips during her time working at the castle in her youth.

“This stew tastes amazing. I never had this tasty stew like this before. You are very talented.” Ingrid looked up to praise Hilda for the tasty meal. Of course, the older woman blushed from being praised by Lady Ingrid.

“Thank you. Your words mean so much to me. I used to work at the Fritz castle when I was a young girl. I had the opportunity to learn how to master cooking whenever my mistress let me have my breaks.” Hilda said.

“Oh? What did you do there? Arne had mentioned you used to work there.” This made both parents glance at each other.

They are a bit concerned for their son and Ingrid after all they are curious how both Arne and Ingrid had met? Hilda had noticed Ingrid’s outfit looked more extravagant for a casual stroll outside of the castle. The older woman figured Lady Völsung was dressed to be wed. She had heard news a few days ago that both the heir and Lady Ingrid were to be wed soon.

“I was once the head handmaiden to the King’s mistress, Lady Astrid of the Krüger clan. She always had been a picky eater so I was put in charge of making her meals when She had tried one of my dishes I made for lunch.” Hilda said.

“You used to know Lady Astrid?! She’s a kin on my mother’s side. I believe they were first cousins since both their fathers were brothers.” Ingrid said.

“Oh you must be Lady Hella’s daughter? Lady Astrid had always said something good about your mother. They were dearest friends.” Both women began to talk more about the Krüger cousins.

Birger decided to interrupt them to ask both Arne and Ingrid. “Pardon to be bold, my lady. We’re curious how my son met you? He usually tells us or acts obvious when he fancies a maiden.” Arne couldn't believe his father was embarrassing him in front of Ingrid. Later, the damned woman will tease him about this.

“Oh we just met today at the village close to here. I accidentally ran into him. I ran away from...my wedding.” Her face flushed from the embarrassment that a maiden of her age ran away like a child just because she doesn’t like her betrothed.

“Ah I see. Do you plan on going back?” Birger carefully chooses his words. He believed it would be best to have the noblewoman go back to be wedded. It would cause less problems for his family. The older man does find Lady Ingrid compassionate, but having her here would bring danger to his family. His family was his main priority.

“No….but I understand me being here will bring your family trouble. So, I’m planning to leave this place to explore the world.” She said.

“My lady, would it be dangerous for you to be out by yourself? Husband, we can’t let her go out there alone in the world.” Hilda frowned while looking at her husband to plead him to help the lady.

“Hilda.” He scolded his wife. Hilda became quiet. Meanwhile, Arne was contemplating whether to advocate Ingrid for her to stay.

“My lady, please don’t take this too personally. I am honored for your presence here, but you are putting us in danger. I need to do what it takes to protect my family, so you are welcome here until tomorrow morning. We’ll give you a bed for you to sleep. Please understand that.” He said.

“No, father. She can’t leave. I’m sorry….mother and father for our lie to you how we met.” Arne pushed his chair back to stand up firmly. He doesn’t know why he’s helping her out but, Arne rather she’s staying hidden here than being thrown out alone.

“What is the meaning of your outburst, son?” Birger was a bit shaken for his son’s action. He rarely spoke out like this towards him, his father. Ingrid was confused but held a curious express to watch Arne protesting for her.

“I can’t allow you to kick her out. I….we had been seeing each other for a while. I convinced her to run away with me so we can be married instead of marrying with the prince.” He said it. He can’t believe he’s digging his grave further.

Arne gently grabbed her hand. Ingrid blushed from what he had just said. This man is an idiot. She thought to herself. She understood he was trying to help her out, but not like this. Oh dear, now they will believe they’re forbidden lovers that are ready to run away together. Of course, both parents were a bit overwhelmed.

“Arne! Do you have a death wish? If anyone figures out you were with Lady Ingrid out in the public, they will send you to the dungeon cells. The worst case scenario, you could have been executed for having an affair with a higher born much less the heir’s bride.” Arne’s father was upset at his son’s reckless action. Things would have been ok if it was some low born girl, but this one will cause serious problems for the family.

“I understand father. But you can’t help it if you’re in love, right?” Arne glanced at his father.

Ingrid was biting her lips carefully. She was nervous. Her guilt consumed her. Here she is being selfish again for wanting to have the freedom she craves and not thinking of the action she had placed on Arne and his family. They have not done anything wrong. The Ackermans are a nice and kind-hearted family. She should say something and diffuse the argument.

“I understand how much both of you are in love, but this isn’t some children’s fairytale where love will conquer all. It takes more for a marriage to work without resenting each other for the rest of your lives until death comes to the door. Give us another reason why we shouldn’t send her to the guards to take her back to the castle?” Birger said with an authoritative tone.

“Husband please. At least we can be sent to a neutral area like the temples of the gods. We can help her go to the three goddesses' temples. They protect maiden no matter what.” Again, Hilda pleaded. She doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Lady Ingrid or her family.

“I have a reason. Lady Ingrid and I got… carry away and it’s possible she’s carrying my child.” Why does his honor have to get him into trouble. He would feel guilty for letting her go where she could danger herself so this is the plan he had quickly thought of. His grey eyes glimpse to see how red the girl’s face was. Oh he can understand how this is embarrassing for him as much as it is for her too. Now, it would be a good time for her being her playful bold self.

“Isn’t that right my love?” Arne caressed his thumb on to her hand like a true lover would do. Ingrid was trying so hard to speak but her throat was tight. The way his thumb caressing her hand made her stomach flutter. Why does he have to act a knight in shining armor?

“Y-yes, my heart’s warrior. I love your son. I’m sorry for the problems I have caused. He has been nothing but kind and gentle. You are both blessed with a son who treats me as an equal. I am blessed to have met him.” Ingrid steps away from Arne’s gentle gesture to get on her knees. The elder Ackermans’ eyes widened to see the noblewoman was on her knee to bow her head. She was asking for their blessing for their marriage. They don’t know what to think.

“Please, accept me as your daughter in law. I shall honor to be a better wife for your son and learn the life of farming. I prefer this fate then being some mare to breed royal heirs instead of being seen as a person. I beg of you, give us your blessing.” Who would've thought she was a good actress? Arne for a moment was convinced she wanted to marry him. He doesn’t mind being married since it will get the ladies off his back and he can be at peace. If for some reason they do actually get married, all he will see a friendship. He knows Ingrid will not be into him. She can be bold but she was a playful person who liked jester things. Once he saw her on her knees to bow to his parents, he followed her to do what she did.

“ Please mother and father bless us. Once we get married, we’ll go to some far away village to be hidden and one day we'll visit you.” He said.

Birger and Hilda glanced at each other rather than contemplating from their pleads. Finally, Birger broke the silence.

“As the damage was already done, both of you will wed. My lady it’s best you go under a different name to protect your identity. I know someone who lives on the edge of our great empire, in Kahr. It’s a city-states that’s connected to the port if both must flee from danger.” Birger sighed. They have to do this as soon as possible before they all get caught.

Both “couples” nodded in accepting the terms. After supper, Ingrid was led to a room to rest for the night. Arne gave her some spare clothes from his mother when she was young.

“Here, these were my mother’s clothes. You might need to change to not be noticed.” He said. Before he was about to leave, Ingrid stopped him.

“Arne, why did you tell your parents that we’re lovers? I’m flatter for trying to protect me but you are a fool. I can handle it on my own.” She said. The noblewoman wanted to know why he did? He doesn’t owe her anything. If everyone knew the truth, their reputation would tarnish. Arne will have it the worst since he’s a commoner. Knowing how their society was, they’ll make it seem he had kidnapped her and forced her to be with him which it was not true.

“Because I hate to be the reason you get into danger. I know you can handle it, but that would stop the worst men from taking advantage of you. If this is the way for you to stay alive and free then I will do it. As your friend, I want to help.” He said with honesty.

Ingrid couldn’t help to blush from his words. She took a breath to calm herself. “I see. I’m grateful for your selfless act, Ackerman.” She is trying to be aloof.

“Oh we're back to surnames, Völsung?” He chuckled then smirked.

The noblewoman rolled her eyes. “So, are you sure you’re ok with this...us being in a marriage?” She wondered if he wouldn't bother to have a wife like her. Ingrid had always felt she never had met the standards how a proper wife should be.

“Yes, as I said. I don’t mind. You are someone I would have as a wife even if it’s not love.” He said.

“I’m a high born lady. Love is a luxury for those who don't have a choice to choose to be with someone.” Ingrid said.

“But I suppose I am lucky since I made my choice to pick how I want to live. I prefer marrying you who can offer companionship, mutual respect and honorable value than a royal cunt who only desires to tame me as I'm some wild beast. I just knew, I would be miserable if I chose death.” Arne sat on the bed which Ingrid does the same.

“Even though we just met, I have already felt comfortable around you, Ingrid. I wish I could offer you what you deserve.” Arne had his body faced towards her.

“You already have. I really don’t care about wealth and status. Yes, I grew up being comfortable as a noble lady, but it has been stressful. I had to try to be the ideal lady and if I showed the real me, oh it would be a scandal that I will get an earful from my cousin. I know you think this is just a game and excitement until reality hits me. I’m a committed person. So, I’m hundred percent sure of this.” She clarified him.

“Alright, as long you know what you are getting yourself into.” Arne whispered. Now, both of them became silent and felt the awkwardness as they realized they’re in the room alone.

“So...if your parents believed we might excepting then looks like we’ll have to make that into a reality?” She smirked, giving her playfully.

Arne grumbled while his face flushed red from that thought that soon he will lay with her as husband and wife. He wondered what their children would look like? He hopes they inherit her spirit-free personality and optimism. If the gods bless them for that is.

“Woman, are you that eager to have me in your bed?” He gets back at her by being playfully too.

“I mean in a way I already did since you are sitting next to me on the bed.” She continued. Deep down her heart pounding hard from thinking they will consummate after marriage which what the elder Ackerman couples said tomorrow will be the ceremony. Birger and Hilda already make preparations since they wanted to do as soon as possible for this family’s safety.

“You’re right. As the groom, I shouldn’t be this close to my bride.” Arne didn’t know what occurred to him in being very intimately close to her. He leaned his body where her body felt warm even though their bodies weren't in contact.

Ingrid felt her breath become shallow when he got closer. Her blue eyes stared into grey eyes of his. It felt as the room was spinning then stopped with silence. The strawberry blonde haired woman had never been this close toward a man. Heck, not even with her betroth. The prince did try but all he got was his manhood being kneed for not respecting her boundaries. With Arne, it’s different. He was different. This man had made her heart beat like drums. She was conflicted about whether to try to go for it. Their lips are a few centimeters apart. She could feel his breath on her skin. This is what she gets for being a tease. Now, curiosity has won. She wanted to feel his lips.

“What are you waiting for? Kiss your bride.” She said breathlessly.

Arne should have not gonna close. Ingrid is a beautiful woman. Any man should be lucky to have a fiery spirit girl like her as a wife. He wanted to keep his boundary away from her due to their status difference. Ingrid is like the forbidden fruit he had become tempted. Just as she gave her signal to do it. The dark haired man pressed his lips onto hers. Just as he expected, her lips were warm and soft. Their kiss was gently passionate. There was no rush or intense hunger yet.

Finally they broke away to gasp for air. They stared at each other until Arne coughed and looked away shyly.

“You’re not a bad kisser.” Ingrid said while trying not to blush at their kiss.

“Oh really? You’re not bad either.” He smiled.

Both realize how late it is and Arne gets up to leave her be. He walked out of the room while thinking of how sweet like honey her lips taste. He wondered if Ingrid felt a spark from their kiss?

The following morning, the Ackerman’s farm was busy with some villagers helping out the Ackermans for a last minute wedding. Ingrid was wearing a white simple gown. Her hair was loose with curls and on top of her head was a crown of flowers.

She looked like a villager bride and she preferred that way. Besides, Ingrid felt comfortable without wearing a corset and heavy fabrics with jewels. It’s too much for her. The bride took a deep breath then heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.” She said. As the door opened, Hilda entered the room then gasped into admiring the bride's beauty.

“My lady, you look like a goddess.” The older woman smiled.

“Hilda, you can’t no longer call me my lady. Soon, I will be your daughter.” Ingrid glanced at the older woman.

“Then you must call me mother. We are going to be family.” Her smile hasn’t left. Hilda hugged the young bride.

“Let’s go. They are waiting for you.” Hilda arm linked Ingrid and both ladies walked out to where the wedding will be located.

Levi…wake up…

Huh? Is it over? Wait a second, why is that apeshit here? The male Ackerman opened his eyes to see Zeke Jaeger. His eyes glowed silver as he glared at the blonde man who has a smug face on his face. The captain wanted to bash his hairy face to the wall. Just seeing him, making Levi crave to release his violent tendencies.

“Good, you are awake. Don’t worry. We’re not done yet. I want to know what did your little armies and assassins kept my little brother, Eren? I had rumors he was taken by your rebels. I suggest you tell me what you know or this time you will be the one without arms and legs. I heard an Ackerman can regenerate like a titan shifter but at a slower pace than a shifter.” Zeke glared back at Levi.

“I do not know or care about your kin, you weakling.” Iapetus took over Levi when Zeke appeared. The titan can smell the shifter’s fear as Zeke tries to mask it. Tch. Such a coward. Soon, he’ll regain his strength to claw his hand into Zeke to tear him into pieces where the room will be painted with guts and blood of the infamous Zeke Jaeger. Both Levi and Iapetus had enough with Zeke’s and his followers’ bullshit.

“You better be careful with your words, monster. You don’t want nothing to happen to your whore and bastard son of yours.” Zeke threatens him.

Instinctively, Iapetus growled at Zeke. How did this piece of shit find out about Atticus being alive?

“Oh, Historia was sneaky for acting like a grieving mother losing her child. I’m impressed by her cunning ability to fool everyone. Once I tell the king and the grandmaster, they will send someone to assassinate your infant son along your subordinate, Sasha Braus. So, start talking, devil. Where is Eren Jaeger?” Zeke said.

Levi/Iapetus were panicking for their mate/wife and son. Both host and titan are feeling useless being cuffed on the table. Zeke better not take away his family. He had already taken away his comrades along his late commander, Erwin Smith.

“What do I know? If you haven't notice, I have been on this fucking table for days! I thought you would be smarter than that. Tch, figures being the Beast Titan holder had shrunk your capacity of being intellectual. I don’t even know where that shitty brat? Problem fucking some girl before he goes commit a geocide or something.” Levi regains his control. He spewed insults at his enemy. What Ackerman doesn't know is how accurate he is about what Eren had been doing.

Zeke scoffed in annoyance. “Like my little brother is capable of wasting time for such nonsense. He is determined to follow the path that Ymir opens the doors for him to save the Eldians from doom fate.”

“You are seriously stupid. Eren is a fucking hot blooded brat. You forget how he confessed his love towards my wife.” He remembered when the Jaegerists kidnapped Historia. Eren went crazy shit that day and kissed his wife. Levi literally wanted to slice him, but his focus was recusing Historia. “I won’t be surprised that he would be sticking his cock into some poor girl and accidentally knocked her up.”

Zeke didn’t take it well as he punched Levi out of anger. The assassin just laughed darkly. Historia punches better than Zeke’s. How fucking adorable that his punches will cause him damage? Once another punch came towards Levi, he quickly bit Zeke’s wrist to lock his jaw deep into the blonde man’s flesh. Iapetus slowly switched to take over and rip off his enemy’s hand. All you can hear the screams in agony pain. “Try to punch me and your other hand will rip off, weakling.” Zeke whimpered from pain and fear. He glanced at how monstrous Levi looked. So, this is the true power of the Ackermans. They are the real devils in this world.

(Natasha/Eve)

It was now night. Natasha slept on the tent that Eren made. He slept outside since Rico and Nile prohibit especially them from not sharing a tent together. Damn that Rico. She probably told the other commander. That’s embarrassing and what’s worse; Rick had been avoiding her when the camp found out Eren and Eve had a little getaway in the deep forest. SHe felt guilty for hurting the garrison soldier. Yeah, she’s a fucked up for using people. The woman from the future wanted to go apologize to him for misleading him and hurting his feelings. Turns out, he thought she was kind, compassionate and innocent. Of course, Natasha is capable of being compassionate, but most of the time she manipulates to get what she wants or needs. She lied to those that care about her for right or wrong reasons. She twists people’s words when they push her limit. Most of the time. She hadn’t felt any regret for her actions. Until the sex scandal happen. In a way, karma was a bitch and she does deserve it. Maybe if she acted like a human being, she would not disappoint her family and have arguments with them every time she visits them.

The brown haired woman felt tears slipped out of her eyes from reflecting that she was the problem every time she argued with her grandparents. The American missed them. She remembered at one point there were so many fond memories spending time with her father’s side family. Her best friend and aunt, Kuchel, had always stuck by her. They are practical around the same age. Her grandmother, Historia, had taught her how to cook Eldian cuisines. Her grandpa Levi had bonded in silence as they sip fresh brew tea. She prefers green tea or lavender but sometimes black tea is alright.

The heiress closed her eyes to try to sleep. She fell asleep. Her eyes open to see green grass all over the ground. There were some wildflowers. Along her view, a huge lone tree stands big and tall. The branches stretched out with leaves all over each branch. The woman was confused about where this place was.

She noticed pathways were made to connect to the tree. Eve walked to the tree. As she got there, a little girl was sitting on one of the thick roots. The little girl had platinum blonde hair, fair skin, a misery expression. She couldn’t identify the eyes because of the bangs covering them.

The girl looked up to stare at her. Eve felt uncertain and cautious. The girl may come off innocent but you never know what that girl is truly capable of.

“I see that you’re Eve. What a strange name for a descendant of mine to have?” The girl spoke.

“How do you know who I am?” This startle Eve. She looked around in an attempt to figure out where she was.

“Because as your ancestress, I know everything about my bloodline. You are a very interesting woman. I misunderstood you. You and Eren are one in the same, but yet so different. I envy you. You felt alone as no one understood you. You crave to belong. Your family slowly leaves you in many ways like death, and different mindsets.” the girl said.

“Hm, so you’re Ymir Fritz. Are you sure you’re talking about yourself? You had issues wanting to belong with someone as a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, cousin, niece, or wife. I think instead of being noisy with your descendants you should focus on your yearning belonging with anyone.” Natasha was getting annoyed. What does Ymir want anyways.

“Your attitude is terrible.” Ymir said. “The reason why I contact you because there is another way to save our people without causing imbalance to the world by eradicating the rest of the human population. With your inhuman intelligence, you can create a cure. For Eldians become immune to the curse.”

This has Natasha’s attention. “What do you mean? So, it’s possible to find a cure?”

“Of course, the origin of how I receive it was not hundred percent true. I did make a deal with the devil, but it was an Isu. A race that was responsible for creating humans. I’m sure you know what I’m referring to. His infamous name was Lucifer. He saw a poor slave girl who he felt pity for and helped to grant a gift. A special apple that was modified to give you strength, fear, and power. I took it and ate it. Now, I curse as this power is like a disease that spreads the Eldian race if they indigested my fluid. From throughout time, Marleyans studied some Eldians who reside there and extract their DNA to make pure but weak Titans. It was never meant to become out of control like this. I didn’t know I would be responsible for the pain of my people. All because I was a selfish little girl wanting to belong with someone. So, you are right. I should be focusing on that but it’s too late. I am tired of a two thousand years old conflict. I trust you that you’ll find a curse and stop this curse before it gets much worse.” Ymir pleaded.

“How will I find a curse? I need time and resources to figure out where Lucifer is if he is still alive. Hell, I need a sample of that apple but you ate it.” Natasha felt frustrated with this new responsibility she was given.

“Child, you are a Stark. If your late grandfather could discover a new element and solve it to make time travel, I know you will find the cure to break this curse. About the apple, I have not finished it, it’s still out there hidden. You’ll find old scrolls that will lead to the current location of the bitten Devil’s apple.” Ymir explained.

“Great, I have to go be like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider to be able to pull off finding the apple.” Eve sighed.

“Fine, I will do it, but what about Eren Should he know about this too?” The woman said curiously.

“Eren will know eventually. Right now, he has his own destiny to fulfill. Just make sure he does not activate the Rumbling at all cost. If you must kill him, do it. He may not be planning to know, but in the future he will activate.” Ymir said.

The thought of killing Eren made her stomach turn. She doesn’t know if she can do it. How could she do it? She loves Eren so much. It hurts from thinking one day it will come to that. She can understand why your great aunt Mikasa took her how she once struggled to be an obedient soldier whenever Eren was hurt or in danger when both were young. Her great aunt had loved him too, but he had never returned her feelings. Maybe Eve was the reason for Eren not loving Mikasa? She doesn’t know.

“This is asking too much. I can’t kill the man I love…” Her tears form then falls from her steel colored eyes.

“You will. It’s because you love him that motivates you to give him peace. You will understand when the time comes. There’s one more time I need to mention.” Ymir glanced at her descendant.

“What is it?” She sniffled from crying. Her hand wiping her tears away.

“Don’t risk yourself, especially if you're in a vulnerable state.” Ymir said in a cautious tone.

Natasha gave a confusing expression to her ancestor. “Why? I don’t get what you’re saying?”

Ymir steps closer to her and places her cool hand on Natasha’s stomach. “You're barely still in your first trimester. Your daughter is growing strong like both her parents.”

The heiress’s eyes widened. She’s pregnant? She’s carrying Eren’s kid. Shit, this is what happens when your boyfriend is too irresistible to keep her hands to herself.

“No, no. How can I be? I don’t feel any symptoms besides my period should come in a few days.” The American was in denial.

“Child, you are pregnant just only three weeks. I do want to give you a warning so you would miscarry since you’re a reckless person. Now, you must go back to your world. I will contact you next time.” Ymir disappeared

Natasha woke up with a gasp. It was dark still and cold. She felt warmth close to her. The dark hair woman turned around to see that Eren was asleep peacefully. His arm wrapped around her waist tightly, but not too tight. She took a deep breath then placed her hand on her stomach. Oh god, she hopes Ymir is wrong. A part of her knows it is possible since both Eren and Natasha can get carried away most of the time. They are both passionate people. If she is pregnant, how will she tell Eren about it? She also worried what the Jaegerists that both Eren and his older brother, Zeke had created will do to her and her child. She doesn’t want how her mother and infant brother end up. The Jaegerists were responsible for both of their deaths. The woman doesn’t know the connection they have with her father’s death. She still wants to take her revenge on these extremists. One day, she will succeed. Mark her words. They will be begging for mercy.

A/N: Finally, done with this chapter. I’m so sorry this took two weeks to finish this. Here’s chapter 16. Enjoy, my loves <3

#rivahisu #historia reiss #levi ackerman #levihisu #ymir fritz #attack on titan #crossover #oc: natasha

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slamsams-blog · 4 years

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A View To A Kill - #24WeeksofBond

This week’s feature is 1985′s “A View To A Kill”. This would be Roger Moore’s 7th and final Bond performance, and judging by Moore’s appearance in this film, it really was for the best. Man, am I torn with this one. I know as a self-proclaimed “Bond Expert” I should hate this movie...take a look at any Bond ranking blog out there and you’ll find the usual suspects rounding out the bottom 5, this film included. While it definitely has its faults (no pun intended), there is just something so unique and charming about this Bond adventure. Maybe it’s the horses, maybe it’s the unforgettable May Day character, maybe it’s the Christopher Walken effect, or maybe it’s the way Bond cooks up a killer Quiche...whatever it is, I just can’t help but enjoy myself when I watch this movie.

It all starts with a fun ski chase scene where Bond is out trying to find the body of a missing 003...he finds him and discovers a microchip in his locket. He must have been on the hunt for Zorin before Bond took over. Not sure, I may have missed it, but eventually the ski chase scene boils down and Bond picks up a board from his snow mobile that got shot down. This leads to “California Girls” playing while Bond snow boards his way out of a pickle. Watching this now - it’s utterly ridiculous and doesn’t quite fit the vibe of the rest of the scene, but when I watched this as a teenager, I absolutely LOVED it and it still brings me back to when I was a kid watching these Bond films for the first time.

We are then treated to a bad ass tune by Duran Duran. This song is one of my favorites. When I think of this movie, 2 things pop into my head right away: that California girls scene, and the Duran Duran song. So far this movie is hitting on all cylinders.

But before we go on with the plot...let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we? Bond is so uncomfortably old in this movie. It’s a shame really, this movie has a wonderful plot with amazing characters, incredible action, and a killer score, but the only thing a lot of people take away from it is how old Moore is. I don’t blame them, Moore is definitely a week past the sell by date here and he is still managing to get intimate with a few women. Eh, I really hate to say it, but it was a different time I guess. If Roger Moore had been a little younger or if Dalton had taken over this one...I think this movie would be towards the top of Bond lists everywhere.

Onto the plot...

It turns out this microchip is a copy of a Zorin Microchip that are designed to withstand a nuclear blast. So Bond is set to find Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) and see if there is anything suspicious. Well turns out his horses are really good...that’s enough to get a green light from her majesties secret service. Bond goes to meet some weirdo at the Eifel Tower to talk all things Zorin, but the weirdo gets killed by a poison butterfly toy. That’s funny to write. Anyways, now Bond is really on a mission...

The movie continues with Bond going under cover as a super rich and bossy horse buyer with another man from MI6 who is a horse expert. This part of the movie is just light hearted and fun. We see Bond bossing “Tibbit” around and schmoozing other party folk, and getting to know all the evil bad guys along the way. This is where we find out that Zorin inserts these microchips into the horse for an added boost during races.

Not only do we get to admire some beautiful horses, but we also get our first glimpse at Stacy Sutton (Tanya Roberts) who will go on later to be Bond’s helping force in taking Zorin down. She is seemingly getting a big pay off, for what? We don’t know yet. But instead of Bond getting information from her, how Bond usually does, in a steamy hotel on a moonlit night. Bond finds himself in bed with May Day, and the audience finds themselves uncomfortable with seeing old Moore naked in bed with naked Grace Jones.

Yeah....soooo anyways....

Like with most Bond movies, the plot always starts out rather simple but ends up being something bigger. Yes, Zorin is cheating to win these horse races, by steroids and microchip injection...but then we also find out that Zorin is an ex-KGB who is now doing his own thing. And apparently that thing is to destroy Silicon Valley, taking control of the microchip industry. We never really find out why he needs this, other than having a monopoly. But, why do you want a monopoly on the microchip business? Seems rather lame in my opinion, but it’s Zorin, and he’s got his reasons.

We really don’t deserve a Christopher Walken here, but we get him and its wonderful. Here is something I’ve never picked up before...apparently the old evil guy Hans Glaub was a nazi scientist who experimented with steroids in pregnant women in the concentration camps. The women who gave birth, gave birth to kids with extremely high IQ’s but were psycho paths, leading Bond to suspect Zorin was a product of that. NEVER KNEW THAT BACKSTORY UNTIL TONIGHT! CRAZY!

Well that definitely explains Walken’s performance. Christopher Walken does a fantastic job of playing an extremely charming, highly popular public figure, but also a completely sadistic, ruthless killer who finds killing people “neat”.

On top of having Christopher Walken and Grace Jones as the evil tandem, we get to witness some wonderfully absurd action. We have a Horse riding obstacle course that Bond must complete with 10 guys trying to knock him off; we have a Fire truck chase scene with Bond hanging on the ladder as it’s swinging through on coming traffic; and of course, the final boss battle on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. Some pretty awesome stuff here...but man is Roger Moore old.

Not only is this Roger Moore��s last Bond movie, it’s also the swan song for the best Moneypenny ever...Lois Maxwell - who had served as the Bond flirting secretary to M since the very first Bond movie. Lois had a wonderful career in the Bond series, but she too was getting old. It only seemed fitting that she and Moore go out at the same time to bring in some young blood.

Despite Moore’s age, and yes I know I’m beating a dead horse (that was an intended pun), but this movie does all it can to make up for it. There are so many memorable scenes in this film where I simply cannot in good conscious give this movie a bad review. I would definitely put this movie in a solid place in the middle of the pack, but not bottom 5, I mean come on, Christopher Walken alone moves the movie up 6 spots.

This really was fun to watch tonight. What did you all think? Let me know!

Reviews from Friends:

Dan Perch

Bond as St. John Smythe has to be my favorite fake name😂 Walken and Grace Jones were such a cool team to watch!

My Mom

Omg Sam this was the best bond movie and a fantastic write up on your blog. I laughed so hard at your commentary. You have the makings of a professional critic. You just have to fix that “anyways” habit. I can now see how you boys got addicted to Bond. I would put this brisk and boisterous film way up near the top. My gosh you should at the very least give it another half star. I loved it.

Andrew Albertsen

This was always one of my favorites

Jake Benrud

I had some of the same thoughts about this movie! "California Girls"? Really? I also don't think that Bond's knees could take those jumps at his age. It does make it kind of a fun scene though. I have had the "A View to a Kill" song stuck in my head all week. It's one of my favorite Bond songs as well. I also enjoyed the twang of the electric guitar with the 80's version of James Bond Theme song in the action sequences. Grace Jones as May Day was great. It was kind of funny to see the death by the poison butterfly on a fishing pole. I must have missed the connection on how the Nazi scientist who did experiments with steroids in pregnant women ended up being a father-figure to Zorin. Also, how did he become a KGB agent if he was the product of a Nazi experiment? I guess he could have jumped ship to the next "evil empire." Walken played the part well. I liked his laugh just before plummeting to his death.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with -

Goldeneye

#24WeeksofBond #roger moore #christopher walken #a view to a kill #james bond #grace jones

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years

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1\Hi Em! I’d like your typing help if you don’t mind but first I just want to thank you for your advice I read about a year ago to go out and be a Person first before being a Type. That advice pulled me out of a slump where I was way too hard up about defining myself and other people with theories without considering their empirical basis. Anyway, I suspect I’m an INFJ 1 (162?) but I’m a little sceptical of actually being this supposed rare unicorn hype-type and would appreciate your input.

2\I really like planning ahead – daily schedules, which classes to take each semester, etc. I’ve been organising my personal schedule with detailed monthly calendars consistently since I was 18 (I’m now going on 22). I get frustrated easily when there are sudden timing changes, like people cancelling or being very late, and tend to need at least a day’s notice to be mentally prepared, even if it wouldn’t really affect my other activities, which I acknowledge can be a bit irrational.

3\I’m a good listener – I’ve been told this by several friends. I haven’t always been the best at advice but my strat is to ask the heck out of the situation that’s bothering them to help them open up about all the different aspects of their concerns. I think it makes them feel thoroughly heard and I enjoy helping them to process their thoughts and feelings without sharing much about myself, if I can see they don’t have that capacity in the moment. Their confidence is rewarding for me too.

4\However, I’ve realised this might be an unhealthy double-edged sword because I apply the same standard to people who’d like to share my burdens. I tend not to volunteer much info unless asked directly/shown clear signs that my listener wants to hear me out, leading me to dismiss the good intentions of my more easily distracted friends. Also I’d have analysed my feelings from 1000 angles before verbalising so I usually won’t open up unless I’m sure they’re willing to stick around for all of it.

5\In middle/high school, I was naturally sporty enough/had decent enough spatial awareness to be selected to join sports teams (I did netball and then ultimate frisbee) but performed quite poorly in competitive training because I just couldn’t get a lot of basic stuff right. I also could never really get along with my teammates, who tended to be louder and more social, in contrast to how much better I fit in and how many more interests I shared with my more academically-inclined classmates.

6\I read a lot of fiction, but ironically I’m terrible at telling stories about things that have happened to me. I remember random details about people like their birthdays and little habits, but when it comes to reimagining a specific event, I can never string together a retelling that comes across as engaging to a listener: either I rush it and give the gist/punchline too early or spend too long filling in atmospheric details that give the “vibe” of the scene but with poor narrative structure.

7\I’m interested in analysing group dynamics! and how subtle behaviour can affect the overall atmosphere of a social setting. Lack of consensus bothers me, although I try to understand where each person is coming from and rationalise whether their logic “makes sense”. I picked civil engineering as my major because it felt like a waste to drop STEM subjects, which I’d been doing well in, but I’m increasingly leaning towards pursuing urban planning in future because of its sociological aspects.

8\Other facts: I didn’t have much of a Rebellious Teen phase, I’ve kinda always been the good/smart kid growing up and am probably still lowkey elitist (though I’m working on that). Hypocrisy bugs me a lot. I track my expenses religiously and rarely splurge. I really enjoy learning but I’m all for conceptual understanding – having to do heavy memorising puts me off. Thanks for your time in reading this and let me know if you need clarification/better examples on anything. Have a nice day!

---------------------

Hi anon,

I’ll go through this but everything here sounds a lot more like the Si-Ne axis than the Ni-Se axis. I think aux Fe is possible but not guaranteed, and I’m not really getting anything for enneagram except possibly 6.

My guess is ISFJ, but there were a few things that implied a certain rigidity and I don’t know if it’s coming from Si+Fe, or if your Si is actually auxiliary. I’m pretty sure ISFJ is correct but if it doesn’t seem right, that would be worth digging into.

The part about disliking interruptions to your plans is more a high Ni or Si thing. The part that gave me pause is the super-detailed schedule because I’ve never done that and a lot of the high Si users or Ni users I know don’t - like, they have a clear mental schedule, and important appointments are obviously marked off, and they don’t like sudden changes, but unless they’re exceptionally busy (and maybe you are) a lot of it is purely in their head and not a detailed start to finish day. If I’m misinterpreting and that’s what you meant, then disregard this.

The part about being a good listener definitely sounds like an Fe approach. It also sounds like a possible low Ne approach. An INFJ wouldn’t really be approaching the problem from every possible angle or focusing on asking direct questions; you also note that you look for clear signs or cues that it’s okay for you to share, rather than making inferences. The extensive emotional analysis sounds like lower Ti, as does the interest in group dynamics.

The part about sports isn’t super helpful; I think a lot of exceptionally good at sports people have high Se, but mediocre or bad at sports doesn’t really mean much. Similarly I haven’t really seen a pattern of if someone can tell a story well and MBTI; there are at least two factors (recall and understanding what’s engaging to others) and you have to be good at both to be good at storytelling. The difficulty with your teammates sounds probably just like general introversion and perhaps some social awkwardness.

I will say your statements about picking civil engineering and group consensus made me briefly think INTP, but I think unless you’re fairly unhealthy your lack of spontaneity rules that out.

Finally: I want to cover conceptual understanding here. You are very specifically interested in very pragmatic, applied things: civil engineering and sociology. You provided a ton of details elsewhere. And then, at the end, you mention a preference for conceptual understanding with no details about it.

This doesn’t mean it’s not true, but it does call into question what you mean by conceptual understanding. I think people divide things into rote memorization and conceptual understanding with no middle ground between, and that’s a big factor in people mistyping as intuitives. I think very few people actually enjoy rote memorization; I went into the physical sciences and math, in fact, because I dislike the rote memorization of, say, biology, but I like things where you can reason through problems from a few first principles and derive things and do actual hands-on experiments.

If ISFJ seems really off to you, let me know, but in that case I would guess aux Ne with something else driving the ‘needs closure’ aspects of your personality, rather than anything with Ni.

#mbti #isfj #Anonymous

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oldtumblhurgoyf · 5 years

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Lauren Orsini wants to kiss a cat man and that’s wrong*

Here’s a ranking of All 36 'Magic: The Gathering' War of the Spark Planeswalkers Ranked By Dateability in Forbes no less. But it’s so terribly wrong. Here’s my Empirically Correct List of Planeswalkers Ranked By Dateability.

*this is all very silly and Orsini’s list is fine, I’m sure... for her.

36-28 Undateable

36 and 35. Tie between Gideon Jura and Domri Rade (with an honorable mention to Dack Fayden).

Dudes are all literally dead. Sorry, but I’m not dating a corpse. Also, before Gideon’s death, he was running himself ragged hopping from plane to plane to save the world. He didn’t have the time for a relationship. Domri is an obnoxious child (emphasis on child too). Of the three, Dack had the most potential but even alive he’d be lucky to break the top 20 of my list. Good for a few fun weekends and that’s probably it. Tempting to hope your love could reform him but that’s just a good way to have your heart stolen.

34. Nicol Bolas

He’s downright evil and self-centered to an unfathomable degree. Hard pass, no thank you. Literally no redeeming qualities.

33. Ob Nixilis

The obvious date for him is someone into BDSM, right? Wrong. He’s not going to respect your boundaries or practice good after care. He’ll use and abuse you for what he wants and then probably murder you. That’s not a date.

32. Dovin Baan

This dude’s whole deal is that he sees the flaws in everything. He’d probably outright refuse to date and if not, he’d constantly be nitpicking your relationship and you. There’s probably a decent amount of built up angst and stuff and if he ever cut loose there could be some fun, but it would be very fleeting and comes at too great a cost (months later thinking “what did he mean by ‘your forehead is adequate, but your nose is not the ideal shape’?”).

31. Tibalt

See Ob Nixilis. Kind of crazy how similar these two are.

30. Ashiok

We don’t know a whole lot about them, but I’m envisioning they’re like Ob Nixilis/Tibalt except it’s all mental/psychological harm. It’s Dovin Baan but instead of an ostensible pursuit of perfection, the mental anguish is its own reward.

29. Ugin

Like dating a dad, but a really boring dad. And like any other dragon, he’s still very full of himself, he’s just a little more subtle about it. Besides, apparently you’d do all your dating in the Prison Realm and Bolas would be there trying to ruin your (already pretty miserable) date as some small payback for being trapped.

28. Sorin Markov

Things will be okay, but he gives me weird unwanted daddy vibes and he’s just going to ghost you anyway.

27-19 Redeeming Qualities, Not Long-Term Material

27. The Wanderer

Not much to go on here but we do know she’s gonna ghost you though probably not voluntarily.

26. Teyo Verada

He seems nice enough but he’s pretty young and super naive. He’s got some things to figure out and some growing to do before you’d want to date him.

25. Jiang Yanggu

What I said for Teyo goes for Yanggu as well. Plus side, every date with him there is a really cute pupper coming along.

24. Kaya

She’s giving me Gideon vibes. I think she’d be more fun than Gids, but she’s too devoted to her career to have time for a relationship.

23. Teferi

It’s a common refrain I’m running into here, but Teferi is also too dedicated to his job to make for a good relationship. Additionally he’s got lifetimes of experiences that make him “The Most Interesting Man in the Multiverse” and you’re always going to feel like a second fiddle to him, not an equal. This is a case where he’s almost too perfect.

22. Jaya

Jaya’s got distinct mother vibes for me. There’s just no way I could see a date with her that isn’t weird. It wouldn’t even be a bad date per se, but it’s not gonna happen.

21. Samut

I’m intimidated by Samut. I mean, who wouldn’t be? She’s been through Amonkhet’s trials and stood ready in front of Hazoret’s spear. That’s such a singular dedication that few others can match. I think I’d shrivel in front of her love.

20. Kiora

She’s a playful trickster and kind of flighty. You’ve got one good date with her and then maybe a follow up fling at some point, but there’s no building a relationship here. I mean, unless you’re really lucky, but I wouldn’t count on it.

19. Karn

Karn’s got plenty going for him. He’s done some really interesting stuff, he’s motivated, and deeply invested even if he doesn’t always show it. He can certainly show you a lot of cool things. But long term the lack of humanity creates distance and problems.

18-10 A Good Time, Let’s See How it Works Out

19. Liliana Vess

She’s a toss up to me at this point. She’s been through a whole helluva lot and this is the point where she could go completely good, or take her get out of demon-contract-death jail free card and double down on all her worst attributes. She’ll be a fun date, you just can’t be sure it should be more than that.

17. Angrath

Dude’s super dedicated to his family but he gets incredibly frustrated and pretty damn easily. His name’s literally angry wrath so you kind of have to expect that. If you think going to a dive bar and getting into a fight with a biker is a good date then Angrath is going to be a fun time.

16. Vivien Reid

Maybe I just haven’t been paying a whole lot of attention, but I know less about Vivien Reid than any other planeswalker on this list I think (which is wild when you consider exactly how little we know about the Wanderer or Kasmina). But as the Steve Irwin of the multiverse, there’s no way this date isn’t fun. You’ve just perhaps bitten off more than you can chew.

15. Ajani Goldmane

Ajani is a total sweetheart who will care for you like no other. The flip side of that is he is always pushing you to be your better self and, hon, that’s just a little much for me. Like can’t we just stay in and cuddle for once? I do NOT want to go to the gym again this week.

14. Arlinn Kord

Unlike Jaya, I don’t have mom vibes here. She’s a good looking lady who definitely seems to be here for a good time.

13. Huatli

This one is totally an “it’s not you, it’s me situation.” She’s so big on community and sharing stories--I’m more of a homebody. There’s nothing wrong exactly, we just won’t be compatible, I don’t think. But somebody out there is, and the two of you will get along famously. Another list would totally rank her as marriage material.

12. Narset

This is another case of such dedication and perfectionism that I just don’t think I could measure up in a relationship with her. She’ll come home from exploring the multiverse and meditation and combat training and reading ancient scrolls to find all I’ve done is take out the trash and do some dishes before playing some games and... not be disappointed exactly, but it won’t inspire respect and desire in her. Another one where there’s incredible potential there... for the right person.

11. Kasmina

Mysterious as she is, I’m getting young Jaya vibes from Kasmina. Not as in, when Jaya was actually young and all fiery temper and stuff. But rather, current Jaya without the creepy (to me) mom vibes. There’s potential here but so much mystery it’s impossible to say for sure without taking a chance.

10. Nahiri

I can’t imagine anyone I’d have a better single date with. Like a real good time. She’s planned it out perfectly and she’s ready to go. It might not last, but you’ll enjoy it while it does. Keep the lines of communication clear, respect boundaries, and be aware she can hold a grudge, and I think this actually has a chance.

9-1 Marriage Material

9. Jace Beleren

He’s sort of what I see Yanggu or Teyo needing. He’s done that growing and learning and he’s a pretty solid guy. He’s learned a lot of lessons the hard way but he’s definitely better for it.

8. Tamiyo

She’s literally married and raising kids in a happy home. The potential is there (if we ignore her canon marriage and assume she is available to date), not to mention her chosen career of essentially multiverse astronomer is pretty damn cool and relatively safe compared to what these other planeswalkers have devoted themselves to. (Sure, there’s Innistrad and Emrakul, but I imagine most planes’ moons are much safer to observe than that.)

7. Sarkhan Vol

Like Jace, he’s worked through a lot and is a pretty awesome person because of it. Unlike Jace, he’s been attractive the whole time. He’s tender and vibrant and aware and just cool as all hell. Bringing him home would be like dating Brendan Frasier in his prime.

6. Vraska

Downside to Vraska is that she’s pretty clique-ish and suspect of anyone from outside her group. Her views have expanded recently, but I think she’s still going to put up a rock hard exterior. If you can chisel your way through that then you’ve got a heart of gold.

5. Davriel Cane

Forget the demon contracts and all that nonsense. What this guy wants deep down is to just be left alone. Let’s retire to a nice estate on the countryside and enjoy our time together.

4. Saheeli Rai

Creative and inspiring, Saheeli is an absolute sweetheart. And she’s dedicated to a craft that she can do at home. She doesn’t have go trooping about the multiverse on dangerous missions without you. She can work on amazing marvels in her workshop then come next door to take you out for ice cream.

3. Nissa Revane

Nissa is a bit aloof and distant, but don’t let that fool you. She’s nurturing in every way you could want and then some. She’s great if you can get past that stoic exterior.

2. Ral Zarek

Ral’s more romantic than I ever woulda thought. He’s dedicated and thoughtful, but not so stuffy that things get boring. Actually the biggest detractor here is that things will never be boring with Ral, but he’ll make it worth your while to stick beside him through it all.

1. Chandra Nalaar

Full of warmth and passion, Chandra’s got what it takes to make the strongest connection. And she’s another character who has made some incredible personal growth recently. She’s ready to take the next step with someone special and if that were you, the two of you are in for a long-burning love.

#mtg #planeswalkers #forbes #lauren orsini #dateability #this is a really silly list #but it was fun

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not-hereforit · 6 years

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Gallavich Soundtrack

Alright friends, I’ve compiled a list of all of the songs used in Gallavich scenes (plus a few individual scenes), and let me tell you, reliving Gallavich musically is one of the best (& sometimes heartbreaking) things ever.

Spotify playlist here & song breakdown under the cut! (anything with an asterisk (*) means it wasn’t available on Spotify)

What I Said by Alien Crime Syndicate “Iiiiian Gaaaallagherrr!” Mickey’s first appearance

It’s Thunder and It’s Lightning by We Were Promised Jetpacks Ian’s studying with Mandy at the Milkovich house and hooks up with Mickey

Wham Bam by Clooney Mickey & Ian go for round two at the baseball field

Nothing to Lose by The Marys Ian & Mickey caught in the walk-in by Frank

Drink While We’re Young by Red Devil Squadron Ian looks for “that look” in Mickey’s eye at the high school

Guided Missiles, Misguided Men by Holy Fever Mickey tries to sell to idiot kid at shop & Angie convo

Hysteria by Ceremony Mickey & Ian run from security after Mick beats up Ned

The Store by Toothpick Warriors Robbing Ned’s mansion

Oh by FIDLAR Ian looks for Mickey in abandoned building but Mickey won’t talk

Diamonds by The Lisps Ian goes to confront Mickey before his wedding

Bad Blood by Ana Egge Mickey holds back tears after Ian tells him he’s enlisting and he can’t bring himself to stop him

Canyons by Paw City Mickey retrieves Ian’s photo from magazine then punches bathroom mirror

Dirty Work by Sydney Wayser Lip asks Mickey if he’s heard from Ian, tells him he’s missing

Heat by Barrie Gledden* Mickey finds Ian at the club/lap dance

Wind Me Up by Taxi Doll* Mickey tries to convince Ian to come with him after lap dance

The Boy’s Had His Fun by Cold Shoulder* Mickey carries Ian after he passes out outside the club

Into the Darkness by Will and the Indians* Mickey watches a passed out Ian sleep & is caught by Svetlana

Take a Chance by Bosshouse* Mickey blows Ian

Move Like U Stole It by ZZ Ward (Paul Oakenfold Remix) Mickey kisses Ian at the club

In My Veins by The Fieros Mickey confronts Ian outside after he pulled a knife on Kenyatta

Pick Me Up by Between Borders Carl sees Mickey sleeping in Ian’s bed, asks if he’s Ian’s boyfriend

Fisherman by The Peach Kings Mickey leaves for the baptism after telling Ian yes they are a couple

Sleep Forever by Portugal. The Man Ian kisses Mickey on the head outside the bar after the brawl with his dad

Feelin Good by The Stevenson Ranch Davidians Mickey working as a respectable mover

Run Boy Run by Mom’s Basement Mickey runs errand (beats up Patel)

Black Soap by Ex Cops Ian is riled up after the confrontation at the soldier’s funeral

All A Lie by The Bixby Knolls Ian tosses Mickey’s shit in the yard during his cleaning spree

Man Child by Redgrave Ian runs away with Yevgeny

Discoloration by Dawn Golden Picking up Ian from police station & car ride home

Lost Soul by Dark Matter Ian’s admitted for a 72 hour psych evaluation

Peace Love With You by Moroccan Knights Mickey gets ready to go see Ian in the hospital

Go! by Soft Swells Mickey stumbles around drunk and trips over Ian’s jacket

Racketology by Breed Mickey plays guitar drunk and naked

Falling Together by Mason Brothers “Sorry I’m late.”

One More Minute by Locksley Mickey gives Ian his pills & tells him no caffeine

Walkin’ by Wild Party Mickey gives Ian a donut so he won’t take his pills on an empty stomach

Basic Instinct by The Acid Baseball field fight/hookup

Love Is A Battlefield by Pat Benatar Mickey & Ian drunkenly sing on their way back to the Gallagher house

Cigarettes by Coby Brown Ian & Mickey try to fight off the MPs

Don’t You Start by Sleepy Kitty Sammi taunts Mickey & Fiona after the MPs take Ian

Where the Ocean Is by Shadow Shadow Mickey headbutts Ian’s photo, leads to scene of Ian lying in truck cab

Marble by Bronx Cheerleader Ian lays in grass outside trailer, Mick calls (phone background now pic of them)

Hyperflowers by Los Waves Mickey runs to Ian after he calls to tell him he’s back

Going Out Fighting by Minutes to Midnight Mickey runs, shouting at Sammi while she shoots at him

Livin’ in the Fire by Motopony Ian and Svetlana visit Mickey in prision

You And I by Margaret Glaspy Ending credits after Ian finds out Mickey escaped

Skulldiggin by Black Joe Lewis Ian waits for Mickey at the docks and is kidnapped in a van

HEAL by Strand of Oaks “Let’s ride.”

Just What You Feelin’ by Kemo The Blaxican In the car driving to Mexico then pulling over so Mickey can hit that

Swing Ya Rag by T.I., Swizz Beatz Mickey & Ian hookup in the car after kicking Damon out

Crashed Cadillac by Bot’Ox Mickey finds Jesus at a Quinceañera

Volca by Born Rivals* Mickey and Ian go to get money at the bank

I Ain’t the One by Spoon Ian watches Mickey cross the border into Mexico

Sunrise by Broken Bellows Ian walks to his cell

Pink + White by Frank Ocean Mickey shows up as Ian’s cellmate (Previously: Endgame)

Hot for Hagar by The Ginger Faye Bakers Ian & Mickey get frisky in the morning/the mayonnaise debacle

When You Smile by Floral Fauna Ian is brushed off by guard when he asks for a new roommate

Baccarra by Cardova* Mickey & Ian race to shiv Chester

Petty Thieving by FEET Ian attempts to throw his parole

Ad Blue by FEET Ian’s released from prison

I’ve Been Wrong by Food Court The Gallaghers throw Ian a welcome home party

Firebreather by Lead Pony Mickey tries to escape from prison via medical waste bin

Might Be Right by White Reaper Mickey chases shoplifter at Old Army/mall

Let’s Go by Clear Blue Fire Mickey catches a parolee for Paula

Deliver Me by TRUETT Mickey agrees they need to kill Paula

Eyes on You by 3 ONE OH Ian & Mickey suspect each other of killing Paula

Cramp by Shawn Lee (Skeewiff remix)* Ian asks neighborhood officer for advice about lawyer, gets marriage idea

Kidnap Runaway by The 1900s Mickey meets Ian at Patsy’s

Off My Mind by Ben Reneer Ian & Mickey get engaged at Patsy’s

Explode by City Silos Ian & Mickey realize neither one killed Paula

Happily Sinking Heart by Mother Sun Ian doesn’t sign the marriage license

Soul Sucker by Lead Pony Ian falls down stairs after Mickey punches him

Fuckin’ Love It by Naked Elephant* Mickey makes a ruckus arriving via vespa

Red Anxiety by Floral Fauna Ian and Liam leave on errand to buy Mickey’s engagement ring

Broke the Cup by Lead Pony Ian goes to talk to Mickey, tries to give him promise ring

Bad Idea by Bad Sea Empire Mickey rebuffs Ian, Ian pees in vespa

Rescue Me by OneRepublic Ian arrives at the bar with Cole

All the Good Things About You by Imperial Mammoth Ian & Mickey watch the band perform at bar

This Life by Vampire Weekend Ian beats up Byron and proposes to Mickey

Inherent Vice by Midnight Divide Mickey and the Gallaghers when Lip announces he’s moving

Let You Go by City Silos Mickey confronts Terry outside the Gallagher house

Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi Ian has Mickey serenaded at The Alibi

Son by Deep State Mickey robs drug den for wedding money

It’s You by Rebel Kicks The wedding venue is on fire

I Kinda Like It by Them Vibes Mickey grabs shotgun to go after Terry

Cannonball by Dirtwire Debbie tells Mickey to nut-up, they’re gonna white trash the wedding

Champion by M. Rivers Gallaghers and crew come up with idea to try The Polish Doll for a venue

Obsession by Joywave Mickey & Ian arrive at The Polish Doll, lie to owner

Blue Bell by Golden Daze Ian & Mickey take in the sight of their new venue

Face to Face by Rex Orange County Guests arrive for the wedding, final preparations for the ceremony

Lights Down Low by MAX Ian and Lip talk, prepare to begin the ceremony

At Last by Etta James Ian’s song choice for Mickey to walk down the aisle to

Morning Flowers by Brock Tyler Mickey and Ian exchange vows

Raising Hell by Kesha (ft. Big Freedia) Ian & Mickey walk down the aisle as husbands

Coming Out by Joywave* Ian & Mickey dance with family and friends at the reception

Firework by Katy Perry Ian talks to Debbie about missing Monica

Perfect by Ed Sheeran Mickey & Ian slow dance

Wake Up by Fialta Mickey & Ian wake up in their honeymoon suite

Perfect Day by Turf Club* Ian & Mickey after Terry shoots up their suite

#gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #shameless #gallavich playlist

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sireneia-a · 6 years

Text

me realizing there’s twenty-one playable child units in fe4 second gen and thus exactly enough to assign each one an arcana in a persona au. you know what this means kids

it’s all under the cut with attempts at explanations. i know this isn’t rlly the most relevant thing to this blog, but i’ve written metas on characters that aren’t actually muses so i’m letting it slide. fe4 spoilers will be briefly touched upon for a few characters. the explanations are specifically for how the arcana are represented in persona, but please keep in mind i’m a persona scrub kdhfkdhfdfkfd so if it ends up being only specific to character arcs from p3, my bad. i’m also sticking to the standard cards and avoiding special ones like aeon. welcome to super self-indulgent hell

i did the order by recruitment order, but here’s a link to just the order of all the characters ( sans explanations ) by the actual tarot in case you just want to see that and be done with it

Seliph: The Fool

Obligatory protagonist role getting this arcana, but the Fool is generally based around one being influenced by others. Considering how Seliph is placed in a role as a liberator as thrust upon him by the people’s expectations due to his lineage, I thought it was fitting.

Lana: Priestess

Who I imagine would be the party’s initial navigator. Regardless, getting away from the strictly Persona gameplay aspects, the Priestess is an arcana given to quieter characters who have untapped potential. I generally just think Lana has the vibe for this as opposed to an actual reason.

Larcei: Temperance

This is one of the leftover ones admittedly. Temperance deals with an inability to balance one’s various life aspects. Larcei tends to be portrayed in adaptations as struggling between her combat as well as her love life, and she’s typically unlucky in the latter.

Ulster: Star

I love you Ulster, but he ended up also being one of the leftover ones as well. The Star is associated with hope and joy. There’s actually a pretty cool quote about this one in terms of bestowing help to others in their time of need but eventually being doomed to fall. Ulster is depicted as being protective of the others ( namely in Seliph’s childhood friend squad ) and is compassionate as well as a big brother type, thus I thought he matched up enough with the idea of bestowing help unto others.

Diarmuid: Strength

The Strength arcana in the Persona universe typically explores characters who have a strength of heart in order to keep going past hardships. Though almost everyone in gen 2 experiences tragedy and tries to overcome it, Diarmuid’s separation from his mother and then his consequent journey through Yied to reunite with his family stuck out to me. Additionally, he always seemed to have a good head on his shoulders even when given bad news in fe5 should you let Nanna fall in battle before he joins Leif’s party.

Lester: Sun

The Sun arcana directly deals with happiness, typically revolving around characters who are faced with miserable situations yet still try and be optimistic; alternatively, the character has lost their initial happiness. A really cool arcana in terms of character arcs, and Lester got it not because I thought it fit him, but because he was literally my last option and I thought the Sun arcana would fit him more than some other remaining ones, and a lot of the characters at this point I was dead set on keeping them locked in to the ones I chose for them. I initially gave this arcana to Lene.

I’d love to meet someone whose fav is Lester sdkhkddf I feel so bad that I don’t have a lot in terms of analysis on him.

Julia: Fortune

The one I knew I’d want the most for this arcana right away: the Fortune arcana revolves entirely around fate. The characters usually have to make a large decision and strive to seize their own destiny. Julia and Julius both have their births completely orchestrated for the sole purpose of furthering the Lopt Sect’s goals, their fates determined by their bloodlines. Julia rises up from what originally seemed like a helpless situation to being the one to restore peace to Jugdral herself. I literally can’t imagine anybody else, sans Julius, who could fit this arcana better out of the second gen cast.

Fee: Chariot

The Chariot arcana places an emphasis on striving towards a goal, holding a determined and willful spirit. Fee is another character I knew I instantly wanted for a specific arcana, as she’s fixated on finding her missing father-- especially when you take FE5 canon into mind and make her father Lewyn. She embodies both the arc ( willing to accomplish her goal no matter what ) but also the personality associated with the arcana.

Arthur: Magician

For starters, giving this arcana to an actual mage is so satisfying. In any case, the arcana is associated with somebody who takes more of a secondary role to the protagonist but still has their own ego. Additionally, great tragedy befalls and motivates the character-- though typically it’s romance-related in terms of arcs, but I ended up omitting that for this. Arthur is a character who exudes confidence, something that Fee suspects might not be well-deserved when they bicker, and his call to action revolves around his desire to reunite with his family. He’s aware terrible things befell his mother and sister and is terribly protective of his sister as a result. Tine honestly might get the shortest end of the stick out of the second gen cast in terms of horrible fates.

The LI manga adaptation also depicts Arthur as a shameless flirt that is a bit of a pervert, which also helps just strengthen the tie between him and the typical archetype for the Magician arcana character in the Persona series.

Iuchar: Moon

Even though you can’t recruit both of the Neir brothers in one run, I’m giving them different arcanas since I personally think that their character arcs in-game are different enough to warrant it and it gets me up to my perfect twenty-one number.

The Moon arcana revolves around illusions and typically involves a character seeing reality not as how it is, some going so far as to blame themself for something that isn’t true. My analysis on Iuchar touches upon the idea that he’s putting up his carefree personality as an act to be able to more easily show kindness upon Isaachians without arousing suspicion from his family; additionally, it talks about the idea that Iuchar blames himself for everything his family has done under the Empire and asks for forgiveness sincerely, not understanding how Seliph sees that Iuchar is blameless and that even if he wasn’t, the people love him already. Iuchar simply can’t see that reality. Though him being the actual canonically flirty character is a good argument to assign him the Magician arcana, I ultimately personally see the Moon arcana as more fitting for him.

Iucharba: Death

The Death arcana is about life cycles and predominantly characters undergoing a great change. Iucharba is a character I personally note for not really being taken seriously by his family as noted in this meta and he undergoes a great transformation throughout the events of Genealogy should you recruit him as a result. He begins as a young man allied with the Empire, a man sorely underestimated plenty, and he ends up developing into this character that suddenly is the heir to the Neir bloodline and consequently is now actually in a position of power within Grannvale-- a position he was nowhere near getting before defecting. Also not really necessary for this arcana, but the fact that you can only recruit him at the cost of killing his brother helps put a literal death association.

Patty: Devil

I actually originally had Patty assigned to the Lovers arcana, but I think this is fitting enough too. The Devil arcana typically deals with characters who commit immoral actions and have difficulty telling that what they’re doing is wrong. They’re led by impulse and temptation but they are also typically dedicated to a cause. Patty is a thief who steals to procure funds for the orphans her and her brother look after. Her compassion is her commitment and though she’s aware what she’s doing is shady, she still believes herself to be partly in the right because those she steals from are terrible people as well. She’s a more mature Dew in a sense. She’s not a perfect fit for the Devil arcana, but she fits it the most out of all the second gen.

Leif: Justice

Leif honestly probably could’ve fit a few, but I decided the Justice arcana is most suitable; the characters associated with this arcana typically are concerned with fairness and can be pretty stoic. Leif’s obsessed with enacting vengeance-- a theme that is just a breath away from justice. He’s the character I think of most in Jugdral that cares the most about karma and seeing people get what they deserve. Additionally, he fits the personality trend in how he attempts ( keyword: attempt ) to suppress his feelings.

Nanna: Empress

The Empress arcana is given to elegant women in high positions of authority. They’re typically a little on the cold side but hold compassion ( perhaps in a sort of motherly fashion ) for others underneath all of that. The second gen are almost all royalty or nobility of some degree, but Nanna especially came off as a princess to me the most out of all the characters. Additionally, God her JP voice actress really nails that refined aura. Nanna’s personality in my opinion also matches the trend in how she can be a little curt ( namely to Finn should he be her father as well as to Homer in his recruitment conversation ) but she ultimately is heralded for being kind and supportive by Leif.

Also gameplay-wise, the Empress personas typically end up having healing skills, and Nanna’s class as troubadour plays into this too.

Ares: Hierophant

Another character I was certain of what arcana I wished to assign them from the start, though I feel like a lot of people would think of different cards than I did. The Hierophant characters typically are fixated on the past and need to learn how to move on from that. Ares’s arc literally revolves around how he’s obsessed with killing Seliph to enact revenge for ( what he believes to be ) Sigurd killing Eldigan. Even Lene attempts to get Ares to stop being tied down to the past and to accept the present and the future.

Lene: Lovers

I went into this really wanting Lene to be assigned to the Sun as mentioned previously but ended up changing her to the Lovers which works out too. The Lovers character is usually someone who is popular and they’re tied between two conflicting aspects of themself. Lene is friendly and charismatic both due to her personality as well as her line of work, and her character explores her maturity as Ares’s confidant in opposition to how she’s fixated on finding her mother no matter what-- something that can be interpreted as a childish fantasy that’s hopeless considering how little of information she has to go on. Additionally, the Lovers personas gameplay-wise are usually healers and associated with wind magic, and though that doesn’t quite fit Lene, it coincides with it enough what with her being a support unit primarily and also both her cipher and her heroes art associating breezes with her.

Tine: Judgement

Judgement arcs explore characters realizing their true calling and gaining absolution and acceptance. Tine is initially allied under the Empire due to her connection to the Friege family, and she lived a very stifling existence until she defects. She’s uncertain exactly what she’s doing as well as who’s “right” at the time that she takes to the battlefield but she comes to realize that Seliph’s liberation army has good intentions. The truth that seemed so muddied before becomes so much clearer by the end. She also is another character who asks for forgiveness from Seliph and ends up being wholly surprised by how easily he gives her it. I feel like this implies that desire for absolution her entire life and it’s over the course of the war that she’s able to feel comfortable in her own skin and voice out her own wishes.

Febail: Tower

Ah, yes, the Edge Lord card. Regardless, the Tower arcana deals with bad omens and doom and destruction. The characters associated with this card are typically characters who have fallen from grace. Febail is unknowingly the prince of Jungby, one of the few playable second gen units guaranteed major holy blood, but he lives his life struggling in an orphanage and as a mercenary who will take any job so long as it gives him the money to provide for the other orphans. He loses sight of his own morality, needing to be reprimanded by his sister that his attempt to slay Seliph isn’t actually going to end in his goal of prosperity for the kids. Though all the kids have taken a tumble in life, I genuinely think Febail captures this concept the best.

Ced: Emperor

If there’s literally any character I think could actually translate super well into a Persona verse more seriously beyond just me assigning arcanas, I honestly think it’d be Ced. Anyhow, the Emperor arcana holds characters who desire to control their environment even if fate gives them trouble in attempting to do so, and the characters typically are suffering from a personal issue that they do not know how to tackle. Ced is a mage who goes out of his way to find his father and along the way, brought on by his own conviction, establishes the Magi Squad to try and help the people suffering in Manster from oppression underneath the Empire. That active role reflects the arcana very well in my eyes, and Ced’s personal conflict with Lewyn as a neglectful father as per FE5′s canon seals the deal.

Coirpre: Hermit

Hermit wasn’t my first pick for Coirpre as an individual character, but I gave him it pretty quickly after I thought about the entire second gen cast collectively as opposed to just standalone cases. I think Coirpre would most likely end up as the second, more powerful navigator character to recruit especially with his ties to the Bragi bloodline and the canonical Bragi connection to prophetic truth.

Coirpre doesn’t have the strongest connection to his arcana, but the Hermit arcana characters typically put themselves in situations where they are hiding away from the spotlight and others. As such, these characters are usually more in background or supportive roles in life. Coirpre is a healer in an extremely militant country, a larger anomaly considering the fact that his father is the Shield of Thracia-- a famed general. Coirpre, upon being locked away as a hostage, adamantly requests to be let go because he doesn’t wish for his father to be forced to fight; he seeks a more discreet way to solve the issue befitting of the arcana and ultimately sought out a calmer solution. Judging by his minor involvement in FE5, he also is more neutral typically in terms of alignment, not caring much for whether or not Leif was a runaway prince but also not offering to join him unlike the other FE4 characters who show up in the midquel. Coirpre keeps himself on the down low until he’s freed by the liberation army and realizes his father and he need to take a stance against the Empire more actively.

Altena: Hanged Man

The Hanged Man arcana explores characters who undergo arcs where they are caught between two extremes or two parties in their life. Altena encompasses this idea best in how she is troubled by her loyalty to southern Thracia due to being raised as its princess and her true lineage as Leonster’s princess. She is at odds due to this conflict, what with both parties being at opposite ends of the battlefield from one another and she’s forced to make a choice between her adopted brother and her blood brother.

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