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balaroo · 3 years

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Still thinking about my quirkless YouTuber bkdk au... In this au they still all went to the same high school and became friends but without all the near death experiences and it's set a few years after they finished school so I thought up some ideas of what kind of YouTubers they'd be:

Izuku - Goes by Deku on his channel. Started off doing a few small videos in middle school, product reviews and short vlogs etc, he got into gaming in high school as his channel started growing. His subscribers are really loyal and love how upbeat and snarky he can be in his videos and he likes to post loads content of he and his friends doing stupid shit as well. He mainly plays long series of RPG games where he can get really into the lore of them as well as online multiplayer games with his friends and he'll also livestream a lot of the time to answer questions and just chat to his watchers! He tends to avoid horror games, he can usually only manage a little bit at a time, or gets Bakugou to play them with him which his subscribers love. As far as equipment goes he started off very basic and gradually afforded better computers/cameras thanks to his subscribers who he loves very dearly.

Bakugou - He works with his father in fashion design and as a personal trainer on the side. He and Izuku started living together not that long after high school and have been dating for just over a year though they were pretty much inseparable for most of their school years. He doesn't have his own channel but he features a lot in Izuku's videos and livestreams whether he's willing to or not. He prefers the more action orientated first person games but he'll join in on whatever multiplayer game they're all playing when he has the time. Even though he doesn't have much experience with gaming in general he's infuriatingly good at puzzle games to the point where Izuku will make him solve the difficult parts for him. Though he doesn't have his own channel, Izuku's subscribers love seeing him in Izuku's videos, especially the multiplayer games where he loses his shit a lot with everyone else and he's also the one who deals with any hate comments Izuku may get on his channel.

This got way longer than I intended so the others are below the line!

Todoroki - He was initially resigned to becoming the next CEO of his dad’s company which he had been groomed for pretty much his entire life until he met Izuku and the others in high school. After that he started trying to make his own name and ended up joining Izuku by playing games and managed to grow his channel really quickly with Izuku’s help. This boy always has the most up-to-date tech and somehow manages to get every big name game on beta or pre-release which gets him a lot of attention. He’ll play any kind of games but his favourite are relaxing immersive games like Abzu, they don’t get as much attention though so he doesn’t film that many of them, and though he mostly does silent commentary he has so many fan-made compilations of him saying the most hilarious stuff unintentionally with a dead-pan expression that it’s mainly what he’s known for now. He joins in with multiplayer games and likes to rile up Bakugou by targeting him on any that involve killing each other. He doesn’t interact with his subscribers as much as the others but he makes sure to tell them how much he appreciates them and hosts a lot of giveaways which make him pretty popular. Has the annoying ability to play horror games without being spooked.

Uraraka - This girl played one game with Izuku in high school when she went over to his and then was hooked. She’s still studying in University to get into a career in astronomy and help her parents so she doesn’t have as much time to manage a channel as the others but like Izuku, she has a lot of very loyal subscribers because of her personality. Todoroki was actually the one who helped her get a proper gaming computer (by giving it to her and saying the store had been told not to accept returns) and her subscribers also help her get access to big games which she gets very flustered and so grateful for. She likes quite violent games and often gets underestimated online when she tries to play co-op shooter games etc, but she enjoys proving them wrong. She’s quite well known for trying out independent indie games and rating them but she enjoys being online with her friends the most and plays a lot of co-op games. She’ll also post videos of all of them hanging out, she loves making highlight reels when they do something big together! She’ll interact with lots of people online as well and does Q&A’s with her family when she can which they always get embarrassed about because she likes to hype them up.

Kirishima - Like Izuku, he was already making videos in middle school. His channel is mainly vlogs/stupid prank videos (ft Kaminari) and he likes to share his workout routines as well! His channel also features a lot of Bakugou when he manages to convince him to do videos with him about exercise tips etc. He works full time as a personal trainer and motivator and he’s actually taken a few courses in basic counselling/therapy so he can do his job and help people to the best of his ability. He’s not into gaming as much as they others so will usually only join for their multiplayer sessions but he’s also tried a few popular games when his subscribers asked him to. Out of all of them, he probably pays the most attention to his subscribers- he gives out advice and chats to them on livestreams often so they’re all very loyal watchers. Kaminari, Mina, and Sero get featured on his channel a lot because they still hang out so often and some of his most popular videos are series of pranks they all play on each other that Bakugou is usually dragged into.

Momo - She is the queen of product reviews and recommendations. Seriously, she will buy something to try even if she’s not remotely interested in it because some of her subscribers asked her to and then do a giveaway competition for it. She is always being sponsored by big companies which she’ll quite happily advertise but never in a way that feels pushy which is why she’s so popular as a content creator. She manages to keep to a pretty regular upload schedule and posts a whole range of things from book recommendations to videos featuring big name celebrities which get her a lot of attention. When she first started her channel, it was just a way to document her learning progress during school and she was very nervous, but now she’s a pretty big name and is a lot more confident with public speaking etc. She’s not interested in games but she’ll occasionally feature in the others videos and loves to hype up her friends’ channels in her own videos.

Iida - He made himself a channel with the others in high school but barely ever uses it. He’ll usually post rants about the randomest topics and most of his subscribers can’t tell if he’s joking or not. While he will join the others in their multiplayer games he doesn’t know a thing about gaming and tries to apply real life logic to their situations which never works but is very funny to watch.

Kaminari - “Watch me try and fit a whole apple in my mouth!” That’s it, that’s his channel. Usually followed by “Had to go to the emergency room :/” His subscribers love him and he takes running his channel very seriously, referring to all of them as his fans and always tries to keep them up to date on everything via livestreams and tweets. He spends a lot of time making videos that feature everyone else because he loves keeping all their channels connected to each other even if they’re not in high school anymore. He couldn’t get Jirou to make her own channel to feature her music on so he’ll post a lot of their jamming sessions (he, Jirou, Bakugou, Tokoyami, and Momo will still meet up to play songs together even though Jirou is a solo performer now) so he likes to show off all his friends talents as much as he can. In terms of gaming, he, Kirishima, Mina, and Sero are very much their own gaming team and play so many online team games together though they very enthusiastically join in with the others as well!

These are all just things I thought up pretty quickly so I might add to it later but I’d love to hear other ppl’s ideas about it !!

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thessaliah · 4 years

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Understanding Beast VII: Olgamarie’s and her family’s Sin in FGO

Note this is speculation meta which might or might not get jossed in the future, or change when I go through another branch. It's to explore what's said in the game, adaptation and other related (Nasu approved) material to speculate the themes of part 2. Working with contrasts with previous plot relevant Beasts, setting aside Tiamat animated parallel (which could get for Beast I in the future when Solomon temple is out as well), Goetia works the best because of the origins:

King Hassan (in disguise) warns in Babylonia through flowery language warns of two evils in particular. One is pity (or compassion), and another, the complementary one, shame (or regret). Beast VII sin hasn't been assigned, however it's very likely it'll be this one. I think I've covered up since the beginning of Lostbelt my suspicion Beast VII was the culprit because this sin was particularly fitting with Lostbelts and Crypters.

Beast I and Beast VII have some sort of connection, to each other. Holmes call Beast I attack the present from the past, while Beast VII from the future. It's the destruction of the past, the end of the future which somehow provokes this.

The Time Temple is compared by Da Vinci with Chaldeas, both as conceptual replicas of something on a smaller scale. Chaldeas is probably connected to Beast VII and the bleaching because it was made to observe the future, 100 years to be precise.

Now, talking about sins seems excessive, but I'm just using some contextual language since we speak of Beasts. Evils of Humanity. Beings who bear their fangs against the Human Order of the present to safeguard the Human Order. Well, of course, we're talking about the more plot-relevant ones and we can ignore Kiara or Kama for this lore definition. That's what I'm sticking with. Given that clarification, we should recap what was Beast I to understand why Animusphere are Beast VII and why Olga in particular, rather than her father (for now?).

Beast I was the consequence of a system designed to protect the Human Order and help humanity evolve. An observation system composed first of Solomon, who died, and then the 72 pillar demons. This birthed humanity incineration in their pride and anguish of humanity perceived meaningless and suffering. It was pity for that history of pain that led to extinguish it fire to use that energy and makeover the species (and the planet) from scratch. It was because they had the authority to do so. They were a system made to evolve humans, and one with human emotion and agency, unlike Solomon who could perform his duty because he had neither of those. Roman, the human born of Solomon's wish for a second life, countered such a statement denying the rights of such authority, returning Solomon's blessings to God, completing that task. Because he believed in many futures chosen by people themselves, and not chosen by him or his replacement. The reason why Goetia became Beast I and not Solomon was because Goetia had freedom to be angry and snap back, but Solomon admitted he didn’t have such freedom, so the potential of that evil was inherent in the system: an observation system to evolve humanity. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but perhaps it is when it demands it to have the reigns and control of it.

Back to Animuspheres. Why them? Creating Chaldea seems beneficial for humanity. Well, it is... but only if Chaldea is treated like was treated under Romani, Da Vinci and Gordolf: as a group that answers emergencies that endanger the present at the time rather than in potential for a future danger. Let’s remind what Olga said in Fuyuki:

(cutting because image heavy)

On a first read, it sounds innocent, but actually, is a fairly arrogant claim. The speech beforehand should be revised (in particular with the recontextualization Mortalis Stella gives it having Emiya being angry with Olga and the Animuspheres):

Basically, if Solomon and the 72 demon gods were Observers and Administrators to evolve Humanity (something Roman undid so humanity would be free to choose going their pace). Animuspheres fashioned themselves as Observers who ensure or validate Humanity future. The results of over 2000 years of experimentation. Now here’s the question, if Beast VII is the Beast made of this system, why was Olga, and not her father, the one who transformed? While in the past, I believed Marisbury would be Beast VII, I always have to wonder one thing: what could lead a man as self-assured and pragmatic to experience such shame and regret (if that was the Beast sin as I speculated) so I had to headcanon something like “whatever he saw in the future made him feel ashamed”, but thinking about it, he couldn’t be that for a similar reason Solomon wasn’t Beast I: he didn’t have the mindset for it (in Solomon’s case, it was because he had no freedom to choose to be angry - but this weakness also exists, even in Roman who dislikes watching and making people sad, he just diverted from his potential danger by his personal journey as human). Marisbury’s simply someone who resolutely points a gun at himself and blows his brains out with a smile. He still could have been an evil of Humanity, like Solomon probably was (not the Servant record version), just unhatched because the sin assigned was never nurtured. His daughter on the other hand... Unlike her dad, Olgamarie accomplished nothing, she’s deemed as a failure, no matter how she tries, even less apt for Celestial Bodies Faculty than her father’s star pupil, Kirschtaria Wodime. She even clings to her ‘life’ in Fuyuki because of her regrets, expresses her cries for her own insignificance in her last moments unable to accept it’s over.

There surely are other factors, like humanity torturing her (Specimen E), her death, potentially being an artificial being, or family indoctrination. But it’s still Olgamarie’s choice and her flaws which led to this transformation. The emphasis made on Olgamarie’s choice was present in the Lostroom when Lev asks her what she’ll do and she doesn’t have an answer to him. Her only answer is in the game or in the storyline where she parrots they’ll protect the future:

And now we’re back to Melty Blood: Backalley Nightmare. In that story, there's an argument of approaches to how to protect humanity. One is Sion, who abandons the big picture of 'preventing' a crisis and more 'do what little I can do' with the present. This is what Chaldea, the Chaldea after Olgamarie died led by Roman and his successors, has been doing, even in the Lostbelts. They try to protect what they could, and trust for the best. The other is Siamlin, who like Animuspheres did, is trying to observe the future and take measures to prevent it before it happens, no matter what she does, she justifies it as for the sake of the future.

(and there's this warning right here).

Simultaneously there're two Olgamaries. A dead one, presumably from Siamlin’s timeline, is a child ghost with mysterious powers and says this: “The future will not change.” The other Olgamarie is actually from one of Atlas’ simulations but has become a real timeline (due to Ghost Olgamarie’s power). That Olgamarie meets Sion and has a change of heart. This is why I made emphasis on Olgamarie’s choice and agency earlier, because that Olgamarie takes FGO Olgamarie’s proud statements in the beginning about her and Animusphere’s mission and abandons it:

Our job to guarantee the future, but whose future do we guarantee? We say that we're going to ensure the future, but what kind of future do we think is good? We expanded on the land, we built cities, we crossed oceans, we travelled the skies, but for what purpose?

She concludes that, to change the future, working with the little things of the present should be more important. This speech she gives to Flauros before he detonates the bomb, and it changes everything because no bomb goes off. Nobody died. Flauros changed his mind and agreed. While the ending is all poetic and symbolic. The result is Sion winning. And the materialization is what Olga (this Olgamarie) wants, same as Roman, a bright blue future which is the symbolism for “endless possibilities” (also mentioned and reminded in Lostroom by Lev to her). The future can change.

Well, I was lengthy, but I laid out something: Beast VII being Olgamarie, other than whatever tragic thing Nasu will toss to “soften” the blame, makes a lot of sense if it’s the Beast of Shame/Regret who ends the present from the Future. Animusphere (or Animusphere experiment) connected to Chaldeas and filled to the brim with feelings of not being good enough, and who thought needed to ensure humanity’s future. However, I think the one who has to defeat Beast VII is Olgamarie herself too. Because there need to be clear that humanity doesn’t need anyone to validate the future for them and the approach to change what’s the come is more “focusing on what little you can do now” than “obtain a great power to change things” which is what Olgamarie concluded in that manga (ironically FGO Olga strongly preached for latter in her speech; it’s no surprise U Olga exists partly, IMO, due to this). It’s possible that the thematic resolution will be similar, give or add new themes with more packing punch and characters involved.

P.S. Moonlight Lostroom OVA and Mortalis Stella in particular make emphasis that Olgamarie has doubts about her mission, but it seems she sticks with it. But once again, it’s important that these got (belatedly) added to reflect the post Melty Blood manga retcons.

#fate grand order #fgo spoilers #lostroom spoilers #meta #speculation #beast #this doesn't mean u olga doesn't look and act as the opposite of cool and badass

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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years

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Fic: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (Ao3 link) Fandom: Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Arrow Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart

Summary: Unicorns are a blessed species, known universally for their beauty, their purity, and their ability to identify and bond with a human hero destined to achieve great things.

Leonard Snart just wishes they'd go away already.

A/N: Warning - this is basically a crack fic. Not going to lie. There is no substantive value to this whatsoever.

For @oneiriad's Coldwave Creature Bingo and for @jq-piccadilly, who mentioned the idea about unicorns like a year ago - thanks for the inspiration

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"I thought you'd be pleased," Oliver says, lips pursed. "This way he's out of your hair."

"You can't just lock up Captain Cold!" Barry squawks through the phone. "Just - I'll be there soon - don't do anything -"

The phone starts clicking in that irritating fashion that indicates that Barry has started running at super-speed before turning off the phone.

Oliver hangs up instead and turns to look at the two supervillains he had captured - at some trouble, no less. He'd already called the police about them.

"What do you have over the Flash?"

"Nothing," Heatwave grunts. Captain Cold just looks smug.

Of course, that seems to be his default expression.

"Then why does he want you freed?"

"Guess he's more comfortable with us at home," Cold drawls. He leers.

Oliver snorts at the implication. "He's engaged."

"She's very nice, too," Heatwave says agreeably. "But we aren't fucking 'em at the moment. Not what he meant."

"So you threatened..?"

They both look offended. In fairness, Oliver has heard of the Rogues' Code even in Star City, so he shrugs. It still doesn't make sense.

Barry breezes in and heads straight for Cold. "Oh, man, look at that, you bruised him!" he exclaims crossly, glaring at Oliver like this is somehow his fault. Which, yes, the bruising is, but it had been something of a heated battle… "They're gonna be so upset!"

"You fight Captain Cold on a regular basis," Oliver points out, feeling increasingly out of his depth. Madmen and murderers, fine, he can deal with that, but maybe this is one of Barry's bizarre alternate Earth adventures gone wrong...?

"I don't bruise him!"

"You kinda do, Scarlet," Cold says, nasal voice amused. "But I don't hold it against you." His smirk widens. "Glad to see you care, though."

"I just don't want unicorn tears on my doorstep again," Barry huffs.

Oliver's eyebrows shoot up. "Unicorns? You found a unicorn hero?"

Unicorns, of course, were the rarest of the rare. Delicate elk-like creatures, like horses with coats made of moonlight and manes that shine like rainbows in the light; they were said to be able to sense the presence of greatness in a virgin, typically a child, and bonded to them as a sign of incipient greatness. Of course, sociologists argued that it was public perception that associated unicorns with heroes and the roles of the unicorn heroes in important events was nothing more than confirmation bias and self-fulfilling prophecies, a conclusion which the biologists supported with claims that unicorns had evolved to have the ability to form social bonds with humans. Some people even argued that this was developed as a means to protect their herds by sacrificing a single unicorn to bond with a human so that they wouldn't be hunted for their horns and purported magic healing and protective abilities.

No one believed them, of course. Unicorns were universally revered.

Oliver wouldn't have been surprised that Barry was a unicorn hero, but he hadn’t had one last time they’d met and the lore was pretty firm on virginity being a requirement...

Oliver squints at Barry.

"Not me!" Barry yelps. "Him!"

"...are you telling me Captain Cold was chosen to have his own unicorn?"

"His own unicorn?" Heatwave snorts. "More like his own goddamn army."

That's about when Oliver realizes (slightly belatedly) that Leonard Snart, supervillain and internationally wanted thief, is the same Leonard Snart infamous for having been chosen by an entire herd of unicorns.

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It started traditionally enough.

Little Leo Snart spent a lot of time out of doors in an attempt to avoid his father, who had returned from his short stint in prison meaner than ever and a lot less likely to refrain from using his fists when he was disappointed. Being a child of Central City, he didn't really trust in parks or green stuff, and avoided it whenever possible.

Of course, when his father drove him an hour into the countryside and left him there, little Leo Snart didn't have much choice about going through it.

It wasn't a Hansel and Gretel story, as the adult Leonard Snart is quick to tell people. He wasn't being abandoned. On the contrary, his dad had ditched him - and, more importantly, the bricks of cocaine that he'd been smuggling - on the edge of a road and had entirely intended on picking him up later. It'd been little Leo's own fault for getting lost in all that awful green.

This is the part in the story in which everyone listening winces and exclaims, "Don't tell me you fed the -?! To the unicorns?"

Of course not.

Little Leo Snart robbed a convenience store before getting lost. Obviously. Who do you think he is?

So when little Leo Snart first found the unicorn, he fed it a granola bar, because he had the most of those. Oh, and there was the glorious moment of shining light, the signal of bonding, but little Leo Snart was too poor to afford a television, his father too cruel to tell him tales, his stepmother too distracted to remind him, his school too focused on survival to care, so he hadn’t really heard all that much about unicorn heroes except by hearsay.

Little Leo Snart saw the light and went "oh God I must be dying of dehydration, I'm starting to see mirages" and scurried away from his unicorn.

The unicorn followed, of course. It huffed angrily when little Leo offered a different unicorn a granola bar.

"You shut up," little Leo told it. "You already got one and decided not to stab me. I want this fellow here to make the same decision."

The same logic applied to unicorn number three, though that was more because she'd bashed her head against a tree and little Leo felt sorry for her obvious stupidity. It reminded him of his teacher's cat - loveable, but a little thick-headed, always ending up where it couldn't get back down from alone.

The unicorns spent a lot of time glaring at each other after that, adult Leonard Snart recalls with a wryness that his younger and more ignorant self did not possess, but he'd used a rolled-up magazine to smack their noses when they tried to charge each other on the assumption that if it worked for the neighbor's dog it ought to work on a unicorn.

Amazingly enough, it did.

Little Leo Snart felt bad for the unicorns three that had decided to follow him for reasons clear to everyone (he gave them food) but not to him (damn the American educational system!) and so ended up leading them into an orchard on his way back to the main road.

Then he'd hitchhiked a ride home while they were still happily prancing around in there and thought no more of it.

That, you see, was his mistake.

Unicorns do tend to bond only with one human, and only one unicorn at a time: the loners of the herd, the shy ones, the ones not exactly the right fit for where they are. It is, as the sociologists swear, an evolutionary design by which the least fit members of the herd are sacrificed to the human flock to preserve the mystique of the unicorn hero and thereby cause humans, desperate for heroes, to leave the remainder of the herd alone.

(That's not how evolution works, the biologists shout. What are you even on about?! Stop using that word! That’s our word!)

But you know what you get when you put a bunch of antisocial loners together in an overripe orchard, where they can snack on fermented plums to their heart's delight, and then leave them there?

Incredibly drunk unicorns bonding with each other over the dumbass human that ditched them there, that's what.

Each one of Leonard's Snart original herd - Flora, Fauna and Merriweather, because little Leo Snart had just seen Sleeping Beauty and it was the closest thing he could think of that wasn't totally dumb - started out as loners but discovered, as many more intellectually developed human loners did, that getting drunk and bitching about other people is a great way to become friends.

Once they were friends, of course, they no longer required - or, indeed, were susceptible to - the pull of a human bonding. It is Leonard Snart's belief, still standing, that they came after him just to show him up for daring to leave them behind.

This theory ascribes too much intellect to unicorns, which are more like monkeys or crows or dogs than humans, and yet the unicorn's cunning and ability to learn patterns is unmistakable.

Their presence is pretty unmistakable, too, which is why a trio of drunk unicorns barreling down a suburban street, huffing and snorting and singing their characteristic wail of sorrow, until they found little Leo Snart, was something that a lot of people took notice of. Especially well past midnight.

In this part of town, of course, no one called the police or the media about it. A Family representative did show up a few hours later, as little Leo Snart was yelling at them in the backyard to go back to wherever the hell they came from, and - tired from a long day of whatever the fuck gangsters do all day - suggested that little Leo let them stay until morning when they could be examined.

Little Leo Snart knew better than to disobey gangsters - see, he told you this wasn't a typical story, even if it does have the trappings thereof - and let them into his house and into his heart.

By morning, of course, it was too late. The examination revealed that all three half-grown unicorn yearlings - assholes, every one of them - had bonded with little Leo Snart and would answer to no one else.

This would be less of a problem, of course, if little Leo Snart wasn't already sentenced to go to juvie in about a week.

(He wasn't fourteen. That was a lie he and Mick perpetuated because it made Mick seem like less of a sap. The part about the shiv is true, but Mick barely did more than delay them until a set of murderous unicorns tried to break down the door.)

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"So," Mick says after a few minutes. "Unicorns, huh?"

"They're a recent acquisition," Len grumbles.

"Plural unicorns."

"They won't go away!"

"And you still got sent to juvie?"

Len makes a face. "They happened post-sentencing."

Mick nods wisely. The justice system, once its creaky gears had been set in motion, waits for no one and nothing.

They sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Think they're gonna let us out of here anytime soon?" Mick eventually asks.

Len gets up and goes to peek out of the little window in the door to the rest of the juvenile hall facility, him and Mick having locked themselves in the kitchen at first instance of trouble. The process of peeking involves tip-toes and, humiliatingly, a step-stool.

At first he sees nothing of interest, the coast (and the hallway) being clear.

"It's -" he starts to say.

A moment later a terrified adult dashes across the hallway, pursued at a respectable distance by a screaming unicorn stallion which is shrill with rage and foaming a little at the mouth.

"- not clear yet," Len concludes.

"Know when they'll calm down?"

"No goddamn idea. Barely saw them the week before I came here; I was trying to take care of my baby sister."

Mick shrugs and pats the floor next to him. Len returns there, since he and Mick have - since that initial rescue - introduced themselves, made friends, and agreed that it was too damn cold not to snuggle for warmth, an act neither would ever speak of again.

Len likes Mick.

"They've gotta get tired eventually, right?" Mick asks.

"I guess so," Len replies. He sighs ostentatiously. "I don't care if it gets me a shorter sentence, I'm looking up a way to get rid of them as soon as we get out of him. Someone's gotta want the buggers."

"I dunno," Mick says. "They're kinda cute."

Len shoves at Mick's shoulders. "You take 'em, then."

"You couldn't pay me to hang around 'em," Mick lies.

The unicorns do, eventually, get tired and Len and Mick rejoin their shaken classmates. Everyone is very, very nice to the two of them from that point on.

Len never does find a way to get rid of them, but Mick sticks around anyway.

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"Len?"

"Yeah?"

"They're poking at me with their snouts again."

"Goddamnit, guys! I told you he's part of the herd!"

Three sets of big dewy eyes look at Len.

"Part! Of! The! Herd!"

It takes about a month, but abruptly they decide that Mick is a Good One and take to bringing him choice bits of hay and grass and fruit and occasionally small animals, because unicorns are omnivorous like that.

Mick is delighted. Len resigns himself to being surrounded by four crazy mammals instead of three.

Five, if you count baby Lisa.

Len never thought his life could be so rich.

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Len is about nineteen when Merriweather's increasing antics finally result in the inevitable.

Len is horrified.

Mick finds it hysterical.

"You never got 'em spayed, did you?" he asks in between gales of laughter.

"I didn't - they - you can't get them spayed, they ain't cats - they - Merriweather, you dick!"

Merriweather looks very proud of himself, nuzzling both Flora and Fauna. Both mares look equally pleased with themselves and the way their bellies have started protruding.

With more unicorns.

"That's the problem, I think," Mick points out with some justice.

"I don't have room for two more!" Len shouts. "I barely got Dad to agree to these, and only 'cause the Family thought they were cute -"

"Can I have a unicorn baby once they're born?" Lisa asks interestedly.

"No!"

"How long is a unicorn pregnancy, anyhow?" Mick asks.

About a year, it turns out, which gives Len enough time to beg enough money from all the sources he can think of - the words "baby unicorn" work like magic to turn on the money spigot, apparently - to build a small stable out by Keystone where Mick has some land.

Everyone politely ignores how Mick came into that particular land.

Len asks only once if Mick's okay with the use he's putting it to and Mick just shrugs.

"My sister Mandy woulda liked having a unicorn baby," he says. "Even Ellie woulda thought it was neat, I'd bet. They were twins, you know, and they hated ever liking the same thing, but I think they'd agree on this one."

When Fauna, ever an over-achiever, ends up having twin fillies, Len names them after Mick's sisters and doesn't comment on the way Mick's cheeks get all wet right after.

Flora ends up having a long-legged colt who Len permits Lisa to name - an offer he promptly regrets when she decides to name him Bob.

Lisa always was an odd duck.

Luckily for Len's sense of the dramatic, Bob's tendency to trip over his own overly-long legs gets him stuck with the nickname Oddfoot (short for "you nimrod don't put your goddamn foot there").

Len spends four days straight prepping for and assisting with the birthing process, a terrible ordeal that he never wants to talk about ever again. The girls refuse to permit anyone in their birthing barn but Len - not Mick, not Lisa, not even Merriweather - so Len does it all by himself.

When it’s done, he's damn proud of having managed it and strung out on massive amounts of coffee, so really, it's not so much that it was a bad time to ask as it was the worst time for someone to break onto their land and ask to buy one of Len's brand-new babies before they'd even left the birthing barn.

Len may or may not have charged at them, head down, like he's a unicorn himself.

Mick tosses the intruder bodily off the property, fires a few shots after the man to make sure he gets the picture and keeps going, then looks at Len curiously. "Thought you were planning on giving some away when they were old enough?"

"No!" Len yells. He seems to be having volume control trouble. Probably all that coffee. "They're mine and they're staying mine!"

And with that he marches back into the birthing barn, now the nursery barn as Merriweather was finally invited in to meet his offspring, and collapses in a pile of unicorn.

By the time he wakes up and regrets everything, he has the distinct feeling that his little herd that follows him everywhere has irrevocably grown by three.

Oh, well. Flora, Fauna and Merriweather would never have forgiven him for giving away the kids anyhow.

At least he's pretty sure unicorns don't get pregnant when they have colts to raise.

...pretty sure.

God, he hopes that's right. Why aren't there experts in this?

Oh, right. Because he’s the first one this misfortune has happened to.

Goddamn unicorns.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"You need to parole one of my prisoners early," the warden says flatly. His left eye is twitching.

The DA blinks at him. The judge blinks at him. The head of the parole review board blinks at him.

In fairness, they'd just been having a friendly lunch in the judge's quarters to discuss the process of criminal reform in Central City when the warden of Iron Heights had shown himself in, uninvited.

"One in particular?" the DA asks.

"Yes."

"If he's causing a disturbance, why not put him in solitary or transfer him to another prison?" the head of the review board asks.

"Oh, the problem isn't him," the warden says grimly. "It's the unicorns."

"Unicorns?" the judge exclaims. He'd always had a fondness for unicorns, growing up, and his daughters were positive fanatics. "You have a unicorn hero in your prison?"

"No, sir," the warden says bitterly. "I have Leonard Snart."

"I don't think I'm familiar," the DA says, pretending she wasn't just as excited by the idea of unicorns. Unicorns were a good sign, a lucky sign; it made voters happy. And she was considering a run for office soon...

"He owns a herd of them," the warden explains. "And they miss him."

"I don't understand," says the head of the parole review board, who had no particular interest in unicorns but was very adept at reading the expressions of his two compatriots. "How do you mean?"

"He's been in the cells for two months," the warden says. "It took them a month and a half to track him. Now they sit outside the window of his cell and cry."

"They cry?" the judge asks, horrified at the thought of miserable unicorns.

"Cry," the warden confirms. "Big old wet tears. And there's wailing, too; long, sad mournful wails. There's a stallion and two mares and three itty bitty unicorn babies -"

"Unicorn babies," the DA breathes. She can see the campaign ads even now - both the positive ones and the attack ads. 'She Who Makes Baby Unicorns Cry' does not get elected. "Crying."

"Oh, yes. All of them. They're keeping everyone awake. The only time they're happy is when Snart goes out for yard time, and then oh boy are they happy - prancing around, showing off, leaping, the whole shebang - only to fall into the pits of depression when he goes back inside. I don't know how the man lives when he's on the outside - in a tent or something?!"

"It sounds - distressing," the head of the parole review board comments. He's already mentally drafting the papers he'll need to file on an expedited basis. He knows how to read the tea leaves. "I assume the issue would not be helped by transferring him?"

"That'll just move the problem," the warden says. "He says they don't like seeing him caged up."

"What was his crime?" the DA asks. As long as she couldn't be accused of releasing a murderer into the streets - actually, it depends on who he murdered -

"Robbery."

"Anyone hurt?"

"Insurance companies, mostly."

Three expressions of incredulity. The warden shrugs. "He's actually a pretty decent thief. Still a thief."

"A thief with unicorns," the judge says. "I don't suppose..."

"We should meet with him to determine his fitness to be released early," the head of the parole review board says, giving in to the inevitable. "Would the two of you like to come?"

"Oh, yes," they both chorus.

"And I'd like to bring some people with me," the judge adds, thinking of his daughters.

"Definitely," the DA agrees, thinking of a photographer.

"Thank god," the warden replies effusively, thinking primarily of getting a good night's sleep uninterrupted by complaints from the prison about inmates rioting if the goddamn unicorns don't shut up already.

That being said, not being an idiot, he can already foresee many, many shortened prison sentences for one unrepentant Leonard Snart.

But at this point, he doesn't even care.

Crying unicorns are very loud.

Who knew?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Len is actually about twenty five when the unicorns - which, being a species that bonds to human in a flagrantly ridiculous fashion, are ridiculously long-lived but also spend a lot of time on raising their colts - start in on him, but he doesn't actually realize it until he's nearly thirty.

It's only that they started so subtly, you see.

It'd started with the way their ears perked up when he hung around women that weren't his sister. Mostly business associates, really.

They would come by far more readily when one of them was around, permitting the woman in question to pet their hides, nuzzling her gently, occasionally giving love taps with their horns when the woman tried to leave. They even sometimes let her see the colts.

It was a bit odd, actually, given how protective and (dare Len say it) paranoid they usually were.

Len's not entirely sure he approves and ends up complaining to Mick, who apparently also doesn't approve of how much time certain people have been spending with visiting women and decides to make his feelings known.

Vividly and at length.

Len was very much in favor of Mick's feelings and decides to provide a demonstration of his own on the subject, also at length.

Suffice to say they don't get out of bed for a while.

The unicorns are -

Well, the unicorns are fucking delighted. Len almost thinks they're more happy about Len getting laid on a regular basis than he is, and he's pretty damn happy about it. His dad in prison, Lisa in school, Mick in his bed, unicorns in the yard - really, things are going well.

The unicorns finally consent to carry Mick, too, a signal honor thus far reserved for Len himself and (if Len begged) for Lisa.

There were more unicorns, too, ever since baby Mandy made friends with a wildling unicorn that escaped from some poachers - Len had tracked them, Mick had fried them, and the judge had actually shaken his hand for that, which was weird but kind of hilarious. They'd let the wildling - named Solo because Mick hadn't had a chance to name one and because Mick was weird - wander back to his forest, which he had done only to come back to Len and Mick and the other unicorns with his mom (Padme), aunt (Leia), and uncle (shy little Luke) to boot.

Merriweather had been thrilled, to say the least. Len was, too, since he finally got to name some of them after Star Wars instead of after a Solo cup, which he half suspected Mick had done just to fuck with him.

Len gave Merriweather long talk about not expanding the herd with Padme and Leia.

He ended up giving up when little Vader was born to Padme. At least there was only one addition this time (since Leia didn't give a fuck and liked to hang around with Solo) and he was a rare sable-haired addition, no less.

But the unicorns keep on being all friendly to various people, so it's not that they're lonely. Not just women, now, but their own strange discernment of who deserved to be liked.

Liked - and nudged next to Len.

Mick still gets nudged the most, actually, even after he's been officially accepted.

"I could barely get them off the last two," Len complains to Mick. "Wish I knew how they picked 'em. Or why!"

"...do you really not know?" Mick asks, looking amused.

Len has a sinking suspicion that he's missed something obvious.

Something so obvious Mick is having trouble choking down laughter.

"Fine, I'll bite," Len says, because curiosity has always been a weakness. "What?"

"You thought the last two were hot," Mick says.

"Well, duh," Len says. "Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn."

"You thought they were hot," Mick says again, emphasizing it.

“They’re fucking each other, Mick.”

“You still thought they were hot.”

"Blocks of stone would think they're hot -"

Mick sighs, interrupting Len. Len eyes him.

"Len," Mick says slowly. "You're an honorary unicorn."

"Because I'm part of the herd," Len agrees. They'd established that the unicorns thought of him as one of the head stallions of the herd fairly early on. "So?"

"You're a stallion like Merriweather is. But Merriweather's got something you don't."

"...a horn? Hooves?"

"Girlfriends. Or boyfriends, since they've determined that also floats your boat."

It still takes a second for it to sink in.

"They're trying to get me a mare?!" Len squawks.

"You aren't having little baby proxy-unicorns fast enough, Lenny," Mick says sweetly. "For shame. How could you let down the herd that way?"

Len lets his head fall down. "Is that why they were so happy when we -"

"Yup."

"...you're not sleeping with me for my unicorns, are you?"

Mick swats him.

"Right, right," Len says sheepishly. "But, I mean, I have you, don’t I? Why are they still trying to hook me up, then?"

"Not sure if you've noticed what with Merriweather and all," Mick says dryly. "But unicorns don't really believe in monogamy. More like – harems."

Len groans.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"I can explain," Len says.

He really can't.

"No," the Flash - Barry - says slowly. "You really can't."

Len sighs.

"Is there a reason your unicorns have kidnapped us?"

"I was supposed to come in, warn you about James and Mardon’s plans in a dramatic fashion, then exit stage left," Len complains. "It was all planned."

"Doesn't seem to have worked out for you," Barry says dryly.

"They miss me when I'm in prison," Len defends himself. “It’s been a while.”

"So they kidnap people for you?"

"Only some people - and what's this about kidnapping? You're in your own house!"

"Which I can't leave," Barry points out. "Because I'm surrounded by unicorns."

"Stop complaining, Barry," Iris - who is sitting down, petting a unicorn who’d shoved his needy little face into her lap for nose-stroking - instructs. "Enjoy the unicorns."

"Mick will be here soon," Len predicts gloomily.

"Will that help?" Barry asks. "I do have work tomorrow."

"No," Len says. "They just like to gather up people for me when I get out of prison."

"And Mick is one of those people."

"Yes."

"Lisa?"

"...no."

Barry looks puzzled. Len is relieved for all of three seconds before Iris says, "I heard unicorns that go out from the herd and then come back are especially randy. That apply to unicorn heroes?"

"A, I'm not a hero," Len says automatically. "And B..."

"B?"

"...uh."

"Told you he thought you were hot too," Iris tells Barry.

"Iris!" Barry splutters.

"Actually, both of you are plenty -" Len pauses. "Too?"

"I'm dating Iris!" Barry squeaks. “Monogamously! Just putting that out there!”

"You know, I don't think we've discussed that," Iris muses.

At that fascinating moment, Mick opens the door, saying "I'm going, I'm going" as he's shoved in by an enthusiastic Flora.

"Did I miss anything?" he asks when he sees Len standing there.

"Interesting revelations," Len tells him, still studying Barry.

"Snacks?"

"Kitchen," Iris says. "Want some hot cocoa? Snart's already helped himself."

"They don't have mini marshmallows," Len says.

"Because our cocoa is so good we don't need it," Iris says, extracting herself from her unicorn (Oddfoot did so like his scritches) and sashays over to Mick, sliding an arm into his and leading him to the kitchen.

"What is happening right now?" Barry asks desperately.

"The start of a bad romance novel," Len says. "Wait. Doesn't Miss West write that Flash blog?"

"Well, she did. Why?"

"It had a fiction section..."

"It what?! Iris!"

----------------------------------------------------------

"It's not going to work," Mick had predicted.

Mick was right.

"You were right," Len concedes to him. Lisa, although long-recognized as a part of the herd, had not been accepted an adequate substitute for Len.

"I wasn't expecting this, to be fair," Mick says. He's staring a little. "Were you? Did you know about this and not tell me?"

Len shrugs. "Not...exactly?" he hedges.

Mick glares at him.

"Listen, I knew they could get somewhere faster than their gallop speed and much farther, too. I didn't know unicorns can literally follow me through time."

Mick's still glaring, but it fades away into amusement when Jax and Kendra dash past their doorway chasing after the giddily prancing Oddfoot, with Rip Hunter close behind them shouting "How did the unicorn even get on the Waverider?! If one of you brought it on deliberately, so help me -"

"He's not going to like it when the rest of the herd shows up," Len observes.

"Nope. He is definitely not," Mick says with satisfaction. Rip had been rather rude to him.

“We should probably do something,” Len says reluctantly.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Just at that moment, Ray pokes his head into their room. "Hey," he says. "I don't suppose either of you know about how we got the unicorn..?"

"What unicorn, Haircut?" Mick grunts. He’s examining his gun.

"That related to the next mission?" Len inquires, squinting at Ray. "Unicorn tapestry, maybe? Unicorn hero? We care about unicorns now?"

"Uh, no. Never mind. Just, if you see - you know what, never mind."

Ray leaves.

Mick and Len look at each other and start laughing.

They’ll deal with the unicorn problem…

…at some point.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"You can't be here, you little idiot," Kronos hisses, shooing Vader out of his room.

Vader tries his best big sad eyes on him, but Mick is immune.

Kronos is immune, he means.

Mick Rory is dead. Or at least he’d better be, or else Kronos is going back in that godforsaken chair, and he’d really rather not.

Vader makes a little whimper that sounds like he’s actually in pain and Kronos forgets himself to actually check for a second, because Len would be upset if any of his herd were actually injured, but no.

Vader’s just being a manipulative little attention-hungry brat again.

Goddamn unicorns.

Kronos tries to shove Vader's plump pony ass out of his room.

Vader resists.

Kronos shoves harder.

Vader's foot slips and suddenly they're both tumbling out of Kronos' room and onto the Pilgrim, who'd been walking by.

"What the fuck," she says. Her voice is monotone and expressionless as always, the result of too many wipes over too many endless years.

"Uh," Kronos says.

"Is that a unicorn?" she asks. That's an actual inflection at the end of a question - serious emotion for her.

Kronos wonders if he can deny it.

Vader tosses his mane.

The room temporarily glows with the rainbow iridescence of his mane.

No, no hope.

"Yes," he says. "It is."

"A dark-colored unicorn?"

"His name is Vader," Kronos confesses.

"I have never seen a dark-toned unicorn before," she says.

Vader studies the Pilgrim for a moment, then pointedly throws himself at her, nuzzling and snuffling like a pro. If there were professionals in the art of attention whoring, anyway.

The Pilgrim holds out a hand, which makes Kronos flinch; that’s how she activates her time micromanipulation device when she’s about to attack.

Vader, the little idiot, just shoves his soft snout into her hand instead.

"...he is very attractive," the Pilgrim allows after a few seconds.

Wait.

Was that calling the little monster 'cute' in Pilgrim-speech?

Vader looks her straight in the eyes with his best soulful expression.

"...you are very attractive," she says to him directly. There is a distinct hint of an upward curl to her lips. "Yes, you. You are. Very attractive. Very strong, too, no doubt."

What the fuck.

Goddamn unicorns. Apparently you really do have to build up a resistance.

Though now that Kronos thinks about it, this could be useful.

"I don't suppose I'll be allowed to go out on my final mission soon," Kronos says in his best casual tone. "More training. I'll have to spend my time here, instead of leaving him behind." He pauses. "Probably for the best. I have no idea who I could leave him with."

The Pilgrim stills.

It is not a subtle trap.

Kronos does not intend for it to be subtle. It would not matter if it was; it is a trap that will work or not, no matter if it is recognized.

"I could watch him," the Pilgrim says at last, taking the bait.

"No need," Kronos says. "I have nothing more than more training -"

"I will speak to the Time Masters," she says. "You will go out at 0600 tomorrow on the Revenge. Ensure the unicorn is prepared for transfer to my quarters for the duration." She hesitates for a moment. "You should include grooming implements."

Then she stalks off.

"Thanks," Kronos tells Vader. "Who knows how long I could've been stuck in their endless training, without you."

Kronos is not prepared to go after the Legends, he knows that. He is too emotional. He has not undergone enough wipes.

Kronos does not like the wipes, so, you know. Fuck that.

"You'll let her groom you a bit, right?" he checks. He’ll need to convince the equipment machines to produce a variety brushes, hoof picks, maybe some ribbons for the mane…

Vader nods happily. He likes grooming, the little cuddle-slut.

Goddamn unicorns.

Kronos goes on mission, chasing the Waverider.

He finds Len.

He takes Len.

He gets about two sentences into his spiel of threats against Len before the herd group-tackles him.

It is very hard to be threatening when you're surrounded by cooing unicorns.

Goddamn unicorns.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, that's weird," Ray says.

Mick grunts, taking another sip of beer. He doesn't much care what's weird. He hasn't really cared - well, to be honest, not since Len died.

But especially not since he was brought back, and Mick had to put him on the road to dying again.

He drains the rest of the bottle just to stop thinking that.

"Hey, Mick? Can you come consult?"

Mick sighs, but goes.

"What is it this time, Haircut -" Mick stops abruptly.

No.

What -

Why?

"So the unicorns are back," Sara says, pretending to be captain-like and all like he can't see her holding out secretly palmed sugar cubes.

"What are you doing here?" Mick asks them.

"Unicorns don't talk," Stein reminds him.

"No," Mick says. "This - this is wrong. Merriweather is here."

"Merry-who? Which one is he – she? – again?"

Mick ignores the Legends, swallowing hard, staring at the stallion still playing proud papa and surrounded by his now-quite-sizeable herd. The last time Mick saw Merriweather, Len had just knocked Mick out at the Oculus and send Mick's unconscious body with Sara back on Flora.

Merriweather had stayed with Len to the bitter end.

Len’s first unicorn and, all protestations aside, not-so-secretly his favorite.

Looks like Len ended up being a unicorn hero after all.

Actually, come to think of it, the Len that had been recruited by the Legion had been remarkably free of unicorns. That was rather unlike him.

Really, Mick should've figured out that something was wrong with him as soon as he'd seen that. He had, actually, but he'd been so sunk in grief that he hadn't cared, desperate for any chance of Len.

But why is - how is - Merriweather here now?

Mick had taken the herd back to 2016 and left them with Lisa. But they're here, now - not all of them, since fat old Blobbo, an elderly unicorn that was a little lame in one leg that had joined up with them in the last few years, had always preferred to sit at STAR Labs whenever something was happening, and STAR Labs liked to have him there, placidly chewing on something or another. They said it was good luck. But by and large most of the herd was now on the Waverider.

Why?

How?

Merriweather sees Mick and whinnies happily, going over and nosing at him. At first it's friendly and Mick takes it that way, but after a few minutes it starts to feel - deliberate.

Some of the other unicorns - Mandy and Ellie, Mick's own not-so-secret favorites - come over to nose at him as well.

Mick would assume it was sympathy, but it's a year late, and also he's felt that purposeful shoving before.

Usually when Len wants him. The unicorns are way too invested in their relationship.

Normally that would be fine; it would be nice. Pleasant, even.

But it's impossible.

"He's dead," Mick says, trying to convince them. Trying to convince himself before he did something stupid and let his hopes get up. His gut is seizing up already, though, and he can feel the start of a glow in his chest, so it’s already too late to prevent the start of hope. "He's dead."

Mandy lips gently at Mick's shirt tugging him to follow her. He does.

She leads him out the door - the other Legends see him go but don't comment, far too busy cooing over unicorns where they are - and then down the hallway to another door.

Their bedroom door, where Mick hasn't been. Not since -

Well.

It's been a while.

Mick swallows. Mandy whinnies and snuffles and keeps on yanking Mick's clothing.

Mick opens the door and goes through.

There's a moment of nausea - disorientation - god, he hasn't had a time jump this bad since he took that wild training spin as Kronos -

"Mickey!"

That sounds like Lisa.

He opens his eyes, which he hadn't realized he'd shut.

It is Lisa.

And with Lisa, there is a very bashful looking Leonard Snart.

"Len?" Mick croaks.

"I'm so sorry it took so long to get back," Len says quickly. "I got lost after the Oculus. The unicorns had to drag me back to the proper timeline, and sometimes it was hard to figure out if something had gone wrong or if there had been something that there hadn't been -"

"Oculus," Mick breathes. "You remember the Oculus?"

"In vivid, searing detail," Len says, wincing at his own bad humor for once.

Mick doesn't remember moving, just suddenly being across the room with Len in his arms.

"Don't you do that to me ever again," he growls.

"Don't worry," Len laughs. His own voice isn't the steadiest, which is practically a sign from above about how strong his feelings are. "The unicorns won't let me."

"Good."

-------------------------------------------------------

"- and the unicorns are an endangered species, Oliver," Barry concludes. His fists are at his hips and his chin is self-righteously high. "You can't just go around kidnapping people they’re bonded to!"

"Yes," Oliver says dryly. "I can. Maybe not this man, not yet -"

"Not ever! He's my villain!"

"In my city!"

"He's sorry about that!"

"I'm really not," Snart interjects.

"Shush, you're not helping," Barry says.

Oliver raises his eyebrows. "Do you have a vested interest in this man's unicorns, Barry?"

Barry flushes. "He does let us take care of Blobbo."

"...Blobbo?" Oliver says, mildly scandalized. A unicorn hero is one thing. A unicorn hero that is also a villain is…well, admittedly strange, but definitely not the strangest thing Oliver's ever seen. He's the last person on earth to protest about a hero sometimes needing skills learned on the wrong side of the law.

But a unicorn named Blobbo?!

Barry shrugs.

"Well," Oliver says, shaking his head to clear it. He needs to set firm boundaries, clearly. "What I think is clear that we need to do now is -"

"Oliveeeeeeeer!" Felicity sings as she runs in, closely followed by the rest of the very clearly excited Team Arrow. "There are unicorns upstairs! And they're so cute!"

"They're getting faster," Heatwave observes.

"They have babies!"

"And more cunning in their manipulation of people," Snart adds with a sigh.

"We are totally keeping one!"

"What?" Oliver says, in the tone of someone who has the feeling they have distinctly lost control of the situation. "Wait. No."

"We really are. Barry, who do we have to talk to?"

Barry points at Snart.

Team Arrow surrounds Snart, talking a mile a minute, apologizing about Oliver's behavior - apologizing! for his perfectly reasonable behavior - and inquiring about unicorn rides.

Oliver buries his head in his hands.

Barry pats him on the shoulder. "Sorry, man," he says, not without real sympathy. "You're doomed."

Unicorns, Oliver thinks sadly. Why did it have to be unicorns?

#dccoldwave #mick rory #leonard snart #barry allen #oliver queen #coldwave creature au extravaganza #my fic

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