#the fact that as a result of a 21 year old kid deciding to start a sever I can end up with a group of spanish speakers trying to explain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taeminscoconuthead · 1 year

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Yooooo i made a decoy blog!

Her name is Annie and her url is jjongthecreator. She has gotten into K-pop at the age of 6 by her older sister Janet. She is blasian with her mum being Nigerian and Ugandan and her dad being South Korean and Chinese.

She was born on the 18th of December 2003 at Central Middlesex Hospital. She is the youngest out of 2 siblings. Her brother Andrew who is 10 years older and Janet who is 8 years older.

When she was 2 years old, her parents started fighting and she saw her mother threatening to kill her father with a knife that she was holding.

When she was 5, her parents divorced in which her mother took full custody of the kids and wouldn’t let them see their father. Annie was especially affected since she was very close to him. They later had joint custody when she was 8 where she was able to visit him at the weekends.

From 8 to 13 years of age, he has been grooming and sexually abusing Annie by touching her privates and taking pictures from up her skirt when she wasn’t looking. He had about over 15 GB of her nudes on his USB in which she found out about it when she was 16.

When she was 11 years old in year 6, she was raped by her class teacher and got bullied by her peers once the news broke out. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that same year and didn’t end up going to the leavers prom due to that.

Instead of going to secondary school like everyone else, her mother decided as a way to get her away from her dad was to get her into a school in Nigeria so she went there just to be bullied to the point where she was getting beaten up to the point of having to go to the hospital. She hated it there so much that she begged her mother to take her back home and so she did. Once she spoke to her father, he said that he would take her in and she would go to South Korea to go schooling there and so she did. Once her mother found out, they were in a big fight that led to the father being hospitalised due to her injuries and almost died as a result. She was forced to come home with her mother over the holidays, but she didn’t want to. In fact, she was afraid of her. She decided to stay in South Korea for another year but stayed with her grandparents. Although they were a bit racist to her, she would do anything to stay with her father. However, the mother insisted she should come with her and unfortunately she did.

On her 13th birthday, Jonghyun passed away in which she was super devastated. He was the only person other than her sister and father that she had a connection with. She spoken about this with her father in which he comforted her over the phone as he hears her cries. However, the mother overheard her crying and decided to slut shame her for crying over him. She would abuse her every time she would mention SHINee or Jonghyun.

At that Christmas, her father passed away due to his injuries. He was 38. When it has been brought to her mother’s attention by Annie, she snapped and slammed her face with her plate, knocking her out.

At New Years Eve that same year, Janet passed away. With that information in hand, her brother took his own life on the 1st of January 2018. She was 21 and he was 23. Ever since then, her mother would abuse Annie regardless and put all her anger and rage onto her.

She ran away from home when she was 14 and never looked back ever since. She ended up finding a man named Braydon who was 23 at the time and they both fell in love after hearing each other’s stories.

Braydon also had a toxic life. His father died when he was 3 and he had to live with his abusive and controlling mother until he moved out at 16. He used to have an older brother but he passed away due to suicide.

He also seen that they were polar opposite, which was very attractive to him. They talk to each other on Tumblr and sometimes meet each other in real life.

Ever since he moved to Manchester, they started seeing each other less and it became every month instead. Until that moment comes, he would facetime her or even send text messages. She now lives with her cousin in East London and is far away from her mother.

Her coping mechanism with Jonghyun’s passing is making fanfictions and posting cute pictures of him. She does this because she wants the good side of Jonghyun to appear online and not the fact that he’s dead. She wants new fans to be able to see how she sees him.

So… what do you guys think?

damn it just keeps getting worse-

thank you for helping out with this study. you can go @howcanibehomophobicmyjjongisgay to log this url to his study!

#mentions dec 18th #statistic study

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lumilasi · 1 year

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Yago update. I decided to keep his old outfit too as I really like it, and story-wise it's not too weird, given his adoptive family wears more traditional clothing even outside work a lot.

More info below (incomplete cuz I need some more info from my friend):

He's the little brother of my friend @mad-hatter-rici's characters Shika and Uma, as well as an uncle to little Youko, Uma's daughter. He's probably one of the youngest of their massive sibling bunch, as he would be considered to be only 20-21 when translated to human years.

Name: Yago

Name translation: Dragonfly

Nicknames: Tsundere (Shizuka), strawberry uncle (Youko), babyfly (Shika, Uma, Youko), Kid, little fly, pipsqueak, brat (Kuromoya)

Age: 22 (considered age among his peers)

Height: 160 cm

Occupation: An assistant for Kouka in the family bathhouse

Family: Adoptive family the Murasakis, sisters Shika and Uma, niece Youko

Love Interest: Shizuka, the water spirit of the lake the bathhouse is on.

Friends: Ichirou & Hitomi (relatives of his adoptive family, so basically his cousins) Issui (The Kappa who works in the bathhouse as a janitor)

Powers:

He is speedy boi, one of the fastest characters of this entire story. he is also very stealthy thanks to his feline paws

Yago is very agile, able to climb up a hundred meter wall or tree in tens of seconds.

His snake tail Edamame can produce very potent poison, but Yago almost never utilizes it.

Edamame - like most Chimera tails - is technically a separate entity that acts as an attached familiar almost. They share a telepathic link and can communicate without words. Edamaame can also telepathically communicate with other Chimeras and their tails, as well as some select few people outside them, that Yago trusts the most. (Murasaki family members & Shizuka)

Yago does have a more beastly form, but he rarely uses it, given he can't typically control himself in that mode.

WEAKNESSES:

He has some intense trauma from the horrid childhood his abusive father gave him, often feeling the need to prove himself and fearing of failure so bad that sometimes he might have a panic attack over it.

He sometimes has nightmares over his past and tends to suffer from insomnia as a result, making him act quite grumpy often times due to lack of sleep.

He is frustrated by all this, because he does know his new family is much more supportive and understanding, but he still struggles to get past his father's shadow, and hates feeling weak. He can get very worked up over being called weak in fact, starting fights needlessly when someone does so.

PERSONALITY:

Yago is seemingly temperamental, kind of a grump who doesn't like it if people aren't doing their jobs properly. He is wary of new people and tends to hide away and avoid anybody he doesn't know at first. Beneath this prickly exterior is a very sensitive and kind young man, who wants nothing more but to be accepted for who he is, and to make his friends and family happy.

He struggles to express himself or be positive about himself due to his past trauma, making him quite socially awkward in a lot of situations. Still, he genuinely wants to connect with people, and once he's concluded you are a trustworthy person, he'll make a genuine attempt at communicating/connecting with a person even if its difficult for him.

The burn on his face came from the accident that made him lose his memory (it was a magic-fueled explosion) and it sometimes itches and hurts, making life a bit uncomfortable. (Because the injury was magical in origin, it couldn't be healed properly the same way injuries from more physical source could be.)

FUN FACTS:

Yago and Shizuka are the kind of people to go out on a date without realizing it is a date, because they're both kind of clueless like that

Yago is closest with Kuromoya out of the Murasakis, because he's essentially acting as the father-figure he never had, and needed. Kuromoya has also helped him strengthen himself, and use his strengths to his advantage properly.

Kuromoya also intimidates him the least, funnily enough, given he's usually seen as the scariest by others.

Yago's favorite food is edamame beans, typically with some soy sauce.

His tail snake communicates typically by using cards with drawings or words written on them, nobody knows where Edamame gets or stores them, not even Yago

Yago has a favorite tree to hide in in the bathhouse isle, and he tends to go up there to eat his food too

He has been home-schooled, mainly because he's was too wary about new people and the idea of going to proper school is terrifying to him even now, even if he won't admit it.

Yago finds his "uncle" Jurou/Alistair much scarier than any of his family members, because he can sense he's so much stronger than them. He does genuinely respect him though, and thinks he's a very good dad.

He's never met Harrow - Jurou's father - but from what he's heard he's figured the guy is VERY eccentric and it makes total sense why he's gotten along with Kiryo the best.

He does wear shoes even in modern looks, just tends to usually prefer having his paws out instead of human feet. Most of his modern shoes are sneakers, typically green, red, or pink.

He sometimes mimics Kuromoya with modern outfits and dresses similarly to him, often resulting in teasing from the said man/parental figure of his.

His earrings are from an old tradition in his family, and while he has awful memories about his father and living there, he still loves his siblings/niece and therefore wears them to honor the parts of his family he does like.

BG STORY: TBA

#artists on tumblr #oc reference #manga anime #my oc #digital art #lumi’s art scribbles #lumi's art scribbles #lumi’s chaotic creations #lumi's chaotic creations #Night city parlor #Yago Murasaki #Yago the Chimera #Murasaki siblings

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saqrqa3d · 3 years

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Raising Muslim Children in Non-Muslim Lands

Muslim parents, be vigilant about childrearing, especially if you find yourself raising children in the non-Muslim west.

Do not allow that non-Muslim mainstream culture to raise your children for you. Do not look away from your children, or let your gaze drift to other tasks like your job, your master's or PhD program, your social life, your house work, your friend circle, your community work, or whatever other distraction. Those other tasks are not bad in and of themselves-- but they are not as important as your real job: raising your Muslim children.

As a parent, your number-one priority is to provide Islamic tarbiya to your children. The results are outside your control ultimately, but your responsibility is still to try.

I have relative who is a 21 years old young woman, and a situation from a couple days ago has got me thinking about this issue. Let's call her Marwa.

Marwa was born and raised in the US. Her parents are religious Arab Muslims from Egypt. They were well-meaning parents who generally understood that tarbiya is important and that this American non-Muslim culture is in direct opposition to Islamic values. But they did not appreciate the depth of the clash of mainstream American values and Islamic ones, and so they failed to protect their children from certain things they should have. They were too lenient and permissive.

Marwa and her siblings went to American public schools as the parents worked low-paying jobs and went to school to try to make ends meet. Marwa was introduced to swear words like the f-word and other vulgar language at a young age in elementary school, and later was introduced to anorexia and cutting (self-harm) in middle school. Then in high school, at the age of 14, she was introduced to drugs in the form of marijuana and cigarettes.

Her best friends were two non-Muslim American girls from her kindergarten class. They grew up together.

They did everything together, Marwa, a Muslim girl, and Melissa and Katy, two non-Muslim girls. They hung out at school, went to each other's houses after school, and sometimes had sleepovers. All three had boyfriends, even Marwa.

Marwa's parents had made the mistake of giving her a smartphone when she was far too young, sometime in middle school. She was maybe 11 or 12 when she got her first iPhone. It opened up a whole world hitherto inaccessible to the young girl. This is how she met her non-Muslim boyfriend: chatting with non-Muslim strangers online with the smartphone her parents gave her.

All three girls smoked weed in high school. Vaping (using a vape, or "a pen," is like smoking an e-cigarette) is trending right now at American high schools across the country. Marwa vaped too, despite the fact that it hurt her lungs.

When her mother found out she was vaping, Marwa said, "She can deal with it."

Marwa is now 21 and currently going to a school in a different state from the one her parents live in. Her two besties, Melissa and Katy, miss her since she's no longer living near them, and so the three girls planned an elaborate weekend trip together.

The trip itself is relatively tame, compared to what it could have been. The girls planned to go camping at a campsite in the woods, for three days and two nights, at a place about an hour away from her school. But the noteworthy thing here is that Marwa planned this whole affair without once consulting her parents or asking their permission.

A couple days ago, Marwa mentioned the trip to me casually, saying, "Hey, so my friends and I are gonna go camping next weekend."

I asked her about some of the details, and she replied with short answers. Then I asked her, "What do your parents think? Did they say yes?"

She shrugged. "I haven't told them. I'll let them know eventually."

I said jokingly, "If you were my daughter, I'd have said no. I don't think this is a good idea, honestly. Make sure you ask your parents and don't just assume they'll say yes."

The first conversation ended there. I felt distrubed and troubled. How can a young unmarried woman create plans for a whole weekend, pay money, book cabins, buy tickets, make solid and concrete travel plans all without asking her parents' permission?

Later that day, I called her parents (who trust me to keep an eye on her as she lives away from them). Neither of them had a clue about what their daughter was doing and when they found out, they were disappointed but unsurprised. "We wanted her to focus on studying," they said mildly. "She's going to fall behind in her classes by getting distracted with her friends for the weekend."

Later still that same day, Marwa and I talked again. She said she told her parents and they were fine with her going camping with her friends, because she'd sent them the website of the campsite and assured them that it was perfectly safe.

But the problem isn't about going camping itself, I explained to her. The problem is in her methodology. How can a young unmarried woman move around and do stuff without allowing parental input? You ask for permission first, THEN after the parents say yes, you tell your friends to buy their plane tickets and you book the cabin and reserve your spots.

Not the other way around.

And if your parents say no, it's a no. This is respect for parents. Your parents mean something.

Marwa had a history of employing this slick methodology with her hapless parents. She flew cross-country once to meet up with her boyfriend in this exact way, secretly making all the plans without asking her parents.

This is not a one-time thing. It's a mode of operation, standard procedure for this young woman for years now.

I said, "If your parents had said no, would you still have gone? Why would you pay actual money before asking them?"

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Honestly, I wasn't asking them, I was telling them. I want to do what I want to do. I'm an adult. I'm not a child who needs anyone's permission. I can do things I want to do as long as I'm being safe. Plus I know haram and halal, and I'm not doing anything haram. Camping isn't haram! So why would they say no? I know they are worried about my safety, I've got their whole speech memorized in my head. But that's why I do my own thing and then just tell them afterward, or at the last second. I don't give them a chance to say no. If I give them an opportunity to say no, of course they will say no! They wouldn't let me do anything! So I just decide what I want to do, then make my plans without asking them, then I tell them later, 'Look, I'm doing X or Y.' That's it."

This is the American, liberal, westernized mentality. I am my own person with no one to answer to. Nobody controls me. I'm an adult. I have freedom and agency. I want to live my life.

Why should I ask anyone for permission for anything, even my own parents?

They don't control me, either.

When you grow up steeped up to your eyebrows in the American public school system, which strips parents of their rights, of their authority over their own children, of their relevance-- you see your parents as irrelevant.

When your best friends are non-Muslims without parental guidance, raised by single moms and never having met their dads, you subconsciously start adopting that irreverent attitude toward parents.

When you grow up watching American TV shows and movies where parents are regularly duped and trolled and outsmarted by kids, and when you have had a smartphone since childhood, these technologies get in the way of your relationship with your parents.

So of course, it's inevitable that the result is this. Seeing your parents as just people you tell things to after the fact, not people you ask for permission.

And the parents just need to "deal with it." Take it or leave it. The child sets the rules for the tone of the parent-child relationship.

The prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم foretold that as we near the end times, the mother will give birth to her mistress.

صدق رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم.

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the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 4 years

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This thing's existence is to be blamed on @anonymouscake you gave me too much inspiration to write this

After the exams were taken and returned to williams to grade them, all the eyes were in him

"That would be our class for today, we have a few minutes but start packing" William started stacking the exams. After not seeing any of the students start moving or packing he couldn't help but wonder if they truly remembered their bet "you can start packing, we will see again after holidays"

"Teacher! You promised" one of the students chimed in

" Yeah! You owe us a story. To think our teacher wouldn't honor his word" other student agreed

" You truly remembered, didn't you? I still have to grade this. So unless you want to be late to your next class I will see you after Christmas" nobody moved " well?"

" Your class is our last" those words made him stop

" No, you have modern literature with mister johnson" williams returned to stacking the exams " did you finish, mister Adams?"

" Professor johnson had an emergency last moment and couldn't find a replacement in time"

" You are awfully insistent" he sighed softly " if you wait for 5 minutes I can grade your exams"

Everyone stayed in place and William started grading, after a few minutes of silence William stood up

" The results of your exams are…" Williams didn't calculate that his bribery would make such a big effect "outstanding. If I knew a story was all I needed to make you study I would have started a long time ago "

Cheers resonated in the classroom. All their efforts didn't go to the trash.

" Average 96.5" he didn't truly want to tell so much about his love life, but a man doesn't back away from a fair bet" well, what story do you want to hear now?"

The room got filled by silence and now the true question arises, what story? Maybe their wedding, or their first kiss. But at the end they decided on their engagement.

" Our engagement? It officially started around 7 years after our meeting, I was 21"

" So you married at 21? Your marriage must be pretty old by now" said a voice in the back

" Mister stone, if I might know, how old do you think I am?" No one dared to breathe, less say anything " I am waiting mister stone"

" Your latmiearly thirwenties?"

" I am not going to bite" followed by a laugh " 24 years old. That is my age. Now where were we?"

" Who are you writing that letter to?" The now young girl of 19 wrapped her arms around his neck, snuggling against it

" Your father"

" Why? Do you want to have a business meeting with him"

" You could say so"

" If so I could have said him directly, my dad quite likes you. It will be faster"

" Still, it would sit bitter in my mouth to not do this as it is customary to"

" Is it really a serious meeting isn't it?"

" Nothing bad happened, don't worry about it" William patted her head, laughing softly.

" Stop treating me like a child! We only are 2 years apart!" The girl protested. Now sitting on a chair behind his desk

" Yet still you behave as a kid" William teased without stopping writing

"Hey!"

Before they could keep quarreling louis entered the room

" Here is the tea"

" Thank you louis!"

" Thanks brother. If I could ask you to do a little favor could you send this to the mail?"

"Yes, of course"

" I really appreciate it. Now, should we have tea?"

"Eeeh! Professor moriarty sent his engagement letter without telling his wife?!" A student cut William

" maybe they talked about this beforehand? And this was some kind of surprise? Maybe her father is strict about who will marry his daughter?" Another student theorized

" I think it is a good theory" another agreed

" If you wanted to hypothesize about my life you might as well not have asked"

" Sorry professor"

" For context, YN, My wife, was going to get married to another noble-" William tried to explain but was cut again

" So you were jealous! I didn't peg you as that kind of man"

" I-" William Inhaled before deciding to not say the total truth, in fact the noble had a record of all his wives dying weeks after marriage. But ignorance was bliss " yes, I was jealous" he indeed had a little attraction towards you, but brushed it off more often than not.

Mister YS gave him a meeting. The door seemed to be heavier than usual,as if it was tempting him to go away, but he already set his mind on it.

He steps into the room, the lights on even if the aura of the room was far to gloomy for it to match

" William, son, do you know what you sending this letter mean?" your father sat straight in his chair, as if he was really to catch his prey

" I am pretty sure I know what it means" leaving his case by his sit he sat down " I want to get engaged with YN"

Taking a huff of his cigarette your father continued " you are a bright young man I'm sure you catched on to general merryland wish to marry my daughter. What is your counter for that"

" The general merryland has had 10 wives in a period of 1 and a half years. All of their deaths of mysterious circumstances. I fear her marriage with the general may cause her assesination"

" Kid, as much as I might love my daughter the general won't take a 'I think you might kill my daughter' for an answer". He is an influential man, he can't risk to anger him"

" But he might take an "apologies, my daughter is already engaged, we were yet to announce it"

" The general is a man who is well known and has reasonable wealths and reputation, if you blamed him for murder it would make us lose face, and is well settled too. You on the other hand, just settled and started working as a professor of university, what can guarantee my daughter to live well with you? Give me ten reasons to let you get engaged"

" I knew you were going to say something like that, I bought my finances book with me,you may judge if it's enough or not" even if he was playing innocent he knew the wealth he managed to hoard was a bit too nice for his age " plus, wasn't the general going through a bankrupt? His family business hasn't been talked about a lot lately" planting the seeds of doubt is an important part of his plan, if not the most.

" One reason down. nine left."

"So you tried to get him to let you get engaged for three hours, I can see how he let you, if my future in-law tried that I would give in too" a few students agreed

" It was tedious and long, I will have to admit. But it was worth it" admitted William.

" Then, how did you break the news?"

" I originally wanted to do it with the two of us alone. But it wasn't possible…"

After getting her father's blessing, now the only thing left to do was to wait for YN to go come to the state and break the news privately.

" Brother? What are you doing?"

"Oh? Nothing louis, I'm just waiting for YN to arrive to have tea"

"Then I shall put the kettle on" Louis was about to leave but noticed the bouquet on the table" brother you bought her flowers?"

" Yes. You will understand soon enough"

" I am off to the kitchen"

The fragrance of the flowers William brought was quite strong, intoxicating if you must. If you asked albert he would say they smell disgustingly sweet

" William, I haven't seen you at lunch, where were you?"

" I was at a meeting, albert. It was of dire need to have it as soon as possible"

" Who did you have a meeting with?"

" YN father"

" Mister YS? Why was it? If I might know"

" You will know soon enough"

" Then, I'm off to check some papers, I will skip tea."

A few minutes went on for you to arrive, in that moment William had everything ready for it to go smoothly. Everyone was busy, albert with his paperwork and louis had already brought the water but still had some chores to do so he would let you two alone for a while

" Liam!" The girl came almost running to him and hugged his torso "You haven't invited me in a few weeks, were you mad at me"

" Not at all" he brushed some bangs that came out of their place " I had to sort a few things out"

" That makes me happy"

"Should we go and have tea"

" If you want to"

After some idle chatter and small chat he thought it was the right moment

" YN" he calls you while sitting up to kneel in front of you " I already got your father's blessing but the word that matters the most is yours, so what do you say, will you let me be your husband in a future" taking out the engagement ring

The sound of copper hitting the floor snapped you out of your bubble

"I-"

" Louis, I see you finished all the housework"

" I just wanted a minute for ourselves" the girl lamented before noticing albert holding a few papels behind louis " if three wasn't plenty. well, they were both going to know soon so I guess it doesn't matter that much" she stood up after taking the ring and putting it on the correspondent finger" I was going to give you this in your birthday, but I guess I could give this now" she said before handing a cigarette case with a few designs engraved. " Father told me to return early so I must get going. Let's talk again soon"

" So Teacher does mess up sometimes"

" I don't truly think it was his fault, how was he supposed to know they were there" argued a back row student

" You got what you wished for, now go to your houses it is late and your families must be waiting for you"

The whole classroom started to run towards the exit. While a chorus of " Merry Christmas teacher!" And " see you soon" flooded the room. even if he liked to teach sometimes it was exhausting.

#yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #ynm #williams james moriarty x reader #william james moriarty #moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot #professor moriarty

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deobitchxx · 4 years

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Hi there! Is it alright if I request for another hyunjae fic? 🥺 I just got something in mind~ please? ❤ that he helps you apply sunscreen/lotion, giving a massage but gets playful? Either a fluff + suggestive or even a slight smut near the end? Tysm!! Don't forget to smile and be safe where you are!!

[ 21:45 // 25.09.2020 // R.SMUT ] “Faster, we might be late at this rate!” You whined, holding Hyunjae's hand to fasten his pace along with yours. It was summer break, both of you decided to have an escape away from all the stressful assignments. You were looking forward to this vacation as both of you have saved a lot of money for this since last year. “Geez calm down, the beach isn’t running away.” Hyunjae snickered, as he lazily matched his steps with yours. You ignored his words, still pushing him along with you to the beach nearby the hotel both of you booked. Once you reached the sand, not only the beautiful sight of the beach amazed you-- Instead the amount of people was also surprising as you turned your head to the older man, who was now trying to avoid glances. “I told you, we have to be quick in order to get a space. Tell me where we should stay in this state.” He puffed out his lower lips while playing with his fingers, mumbling, “We can just stay inside our room…”

Lucky enough Hyunjae spotted a space that was enough for both of you, resulting in you rushing to that place in order no one will snatch it away. You were laying on the mat that the latter bought along with other necessary stuff. He was sitting on the mat next to you, slightly leaned to the back with his arms on the sand to support the weight of his upper body. He turned to face you, who now folded your legs to sit on the mat while hand busy scratching the plastic away from the new bought sunscreen. “Do you need help?” You gave him a nod, handing the bottle to him, “Help me apply it on my back, I can’t reach them.” Laying on your stomach as your head laid on your folded arms, feeling the presence of the latter closer to your body. You suddenly heard a chuckle from him, as you turned to face him while raising your eyebrow, “What’s so funny?” His eyes almost disappeared once his lips raised for another smile, “Silly, how should I apply the sunscreen on you if you are still wearing your cardigan?”

You hesitated for a while as you gestured him closer, leading him to lean closer to your face. You whispered near his ears, “I don’t think I could take it off. The women here are all gorgeous and their bodies are better than mine, I lost my confidence right away.” You were hoping for him to laugh and get along with your sentence since he was the type to joke around. Instead, he shook his head with an angelic smile plastered on his face, “You are still beautiful, my love.” “No-” “Princess, I’ve seen all of you. I’m sure those women are willing to be you,” he left a soft peck on your lips before holding your cardigan, asking you with a reassuring smile, “May I take it off now?” You nodded, as he pulled down the cardigan away and placed it somewhere nearby. He gently pulled your body against the mat, wanting you to be relaxed and enjoyed the vacation. Pressuring the liquid out from the bottle, he rubbed his hands together before applying it on your back. His soft touches were so good and the texture of his palms were cherry on top. It’s insane, you almost cursed the shit out of yourself because you were so close to moan, but you decided to bite your lips, not wanting to embarrass yourself.

“Is it good?” His voice snapped you back to reality and you nodded, knowing the fact that if you started to open your mouth, the people nearby might exchange weird glances. His hands slowly went down to your waist, using his thumbs to apply pressure on your skin. “H-Hey,” He ignored you, as he rubbed his hands almost dangerously closer to your hips. The way he caressed your skin was incredibly insane, he was teasing you. You tried to lean to his touch, wanting more but instead he ignored you again and avoided touching the places that you wanted the most. His hands went down to the flesh after your hips, purposely massaging there. You rubbed your legs together, hoping the latter would do something with the thing underneath you. Hyunjae saw you closing your legs tightly as he smirked, smacking your hips while leaning closer to your ears, “Having fun under there huh?” “Hyunjae please..” “We’re in public honey, act like a good girl you are hm?” He pecked your cheek before proceeding to massage your thighs.

He spread your legs with force, looking around to make sure no one was looking. Indeed, none of the people nearby give a damn about the couple. They were busy enjoying their own vacation as well. This resulted in Hyunjae to run his fingers north, stopping right close to your clothed pussy. “Tell me baby, should I touch here too?” He asked you while his fingers were playing with the hem of your underwear. You hummed in response, “P-Please do.” He clicked his tongue while shaking his head, “Is that a dream of yours? To get your pussy touched in the middle of the public, hoping for people to turn and see what I’ve done to you?” His fingers were now tapping your covered clit and you swear that you almost moaned just by those words. The thought of getting caught by the people almost excited you so you grinded on his hand, applying pleasures by yourself. His hands gripped your hips tightly, stopping you from moving, “I thought you hate it when I touch your private areas in public? Where did my innocent princess go? Did she miss the flight?”

“Hyunjae please,” the pressure on your lower lips was so rough it almost bled. “Wait for me at the restroom, I’ll make you feel good if you go there without any complaints.” Leaving a smack on your ass, you immediately stood up and wasted no time, rushing to the nearby restroom. Hyunjae smirked as he greeted the family at the right side, “Hello, I’m sorry but can you look out for our stuff? My girlfriend is having a stomachache and I need to check her out.” The head of the family smiled and nodded, “Sure, make sure you take care of her well.” His wife added, “If she needs any help, please inform me. You know, female things.” The chuckle escaped from his lips, eyes following to smile along, “I’ll keep that in mind. Have a fun vacation!” He rushed to the restroom as well and once he entered the small building, he was greeted with several rooms inside. He was fortunate that only one door closed at that time, knowing the fact that it will be you behind the door. As he twisted the door opened, he saw you sitting on the countertop, pressing your legs together as a strap of your bra fell on your forearm.

“You look so hot,” he closed the door behind and pressed his body against yours, taking your lips into his as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. “What a bad girl, do you even know there was a 7 years old kid next to us? What do you think he will do if he saw you grinding on my hand?” He smirked at the way your lips tried to press on him again, “No baby, you did something bad and you didn’t deserve any of me. What a selfish girl who only wants to satisfy her needs,” he tsked and forcefully pressed his body against yours again, making you feel his hard dick through the fabric. “Hyunjae p-please..” You almost cried, the nerves to have him fucked you raw where both of you will surely get caught was unbearable to avoid. “Needy girl,” he slammed his hips to yours, earning a loud moan from you. “Be quiet baby or I have no choice but to leave you alone.” He growled and slowly humped into your clothed core, as you opened your mouth without trying your best to produce any loud voices. Heavy breaths were starting to get obvious as both of you grinded against each other to create frictions. “I-I’m close..” He grabbed your chin and made you face him, “Look at me in the eyes. You look so breathtaking when your eyes laid on mine while chasing your orgasm,” he humped harder, pulling you to the edges.

You knew you can’t handle it any longer, as you slammed your lips on his and moaned against his lips. “Ugh,” he let out a groan once he shot his loads on his shorts and you cummed on yours. You panted heavily, resting your forehead on his shoulder. “Can you take me back to the hotel? I’m too tired, we can just swim tomorrow.” His giggling sounds were enough to make you smile, as Hyunjae rubbed your back in circles, “I can. Plus I’ve told the family next to us that you were having a stomachache so it won’t be a problem.” An idea suddenly popped in your mind and you leaned your face against his neck, blowing slightly before whispering, “Fuck me and make me forget about the stomachache that you mentioned then.” You lazily grinded yourself on him, waiting for him to do something about it. “Oh baby, I don’t think you’re capable of swimming tomorrow if you continue grinding your hips on me.”

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suicidalneighborhood · 2 years

Text

day 16:

when did you first decide to lose weight.

i even remember the day lol, november 30th, 2018.

day 17:

do u have an ed:

i’m not diagnosed with one, but i don’t think i have an ed, maybe like disordered eating?? it’s not extreme enough to be an ed, but maybe?

day 18:

what food is your weakness:

hm, idk if i can seperate one but probably like homemade pies/cakes (ironically enough, i love baking and bake every week, but i mainly binge on my mom’s baking), also this one certain pasta dish.

day 19:

last time you ate fast food:

it’s actually been a while, if you count fries, then maybe september? but if you don’t count those, then it’s like june or july, when we got pizza with my friends.

day 20:

favourite diet.

can’t stick to 99% of them for longer than 3 days but i will be attempting the skinny girl diet, because it doesn’t have a set limit, you can eat as much fruit/veg as you want. so hoping i will be able to stick to it and see results.

day 21:

clothing sizes.

i’m not completely sure, i just know i’m a 38 in european pant sizing, that’s a 6 in american sizing.

day 22:

lw.

my lw was 62kgs, which was after i was insanely sick for 3 days, to a point where i wasn’t getting out of bed and consumed like 1k calories in the 3 days, it was also summer, so i was sweating a lot, and i had a fever which burns extra cals. i naturally gained bc it was all water weight, but i’m not far off my lw rn, i’m at like 63-64 right now, it’s embarassing i haven’t broken out of the 63-65 loop since i lost it in 2020 summer.

day 23:

media’s role in your want to lose weight.

i think most of it stemmed from generally being in a bad place mentally and later, my mom’s comments. so if it did play a role, it wasn’t a significant one.

day 24:

opinion on terms pro ana/mia.

i’m against them both, because why would you be pro for those things? i understand being pro for urself, but not others.

day 25:

purging.

i have never purged, and hope to not start. when i was a kid i read a book about a girl who had bulimia and it scared me to my core (as it probably would for most 9 year olds, yes, the book was not suitable for my age) and i also made a promise to myself in 2019 to never purge, no matter how tempting it would be. mainly bc it doesn’t work and causes so many problems.

day 26:

what excites you most about reaching your ugw.

the perfect 35 25 25 meassurments, feeling small in everything, not having to worry about how you stand in photos.

day 27:

how do you feel being around food.

it depends. sometimes it gets really overwhelming, in things like parties, some shops, big gatherings, but that might stem from my anxiety a bit as well. but most times i’m fine, i have gotten sm better in the past year.

day 28:

do you want a gap between your legs & why.

the irony in this is that i already have a thigh gap. i absolutely love it, i would like it to be bigger, but i also hate how huge my hips are.

day 29:

definition of beauty.

a person who loves themselves and is at peace with themselves.

for me, it’s skinny, eye bags, tall, bony, dyed hair, the kind of thinner effie vibe lmao, maybe a bit more androgynous.

day 30:

10 facts and stats.

1. i’m 16

2. i love art

3. i love cats

4. i have a secret dream to model once or twice. and also be thin enough for runway modeling lmao.

5. my mom is my biggest ed trigger.

6. i’m thinking of quiting therapy.

7. i got accepted into art school for the 2nd semester of this yr.

8. i love winter

9. i wanted to be a vegetarian since elementary school, when i realized where meat comes from.

10. i’m an intp 5w4 (personality types)

stats:

height: 174cm

hw: 72kg (?)

cw: 64kg

ugw:56kg.

#anorexia #anorexic #anorecik #bulimia #bulimist #EDS #tw ed related

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birchworld · 3 years

Text

Manga Recommendation - The Golden Sheep

金のひつじ (Kin no Hitsuji) / The Golden Sheep

Author: Kaori Ozaki Publisher: Kodansha English Publisher: Verticle

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Run Time: Sep. 25th, 2017 – Feb. 25th, 2019

Volume 1 Release: March 23, 2018 Volume 2 Release: September 21, 2018 Volume 3 Release: April 23, 2019

Eng. Volume 1: September 24, 2019 Eng. Volume 2: December 10, 2019 Eng. Volume 3: March 10, 2020

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Summary

“ Winter of junior year. Not quite able to become adults, we couldn’t stay as we were as children, either. Our tale explores a group of teenagers and their impatience and rebirth. “They say if you write down your wish, bury it under Sheep Tower and then dig it up after 7 years and 7 months, your wish will come true … ”Tsugu Miikura, a high schooler who loves to play guitar, had moved away due to family circumstances from the rural town where she spent her childhood. After several years, she’s back in her old hometown. She reunites with her childhood friends—Sora, Yuushin, and Asari—the friends she’d buried a time capsule with back in elementary school. Tsugu is overjoyed to be with her friends once more, but the bonds that she thought would never change have in fact started to grow major cracks … “

Source: https://kodansha.us/series/the-golden-sheep/

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*Spoilers Beyond This Point* For review, and links....

Review - 4/5

Content Warning: Discussion of s*cide and similar themes, bullying, absent parents, and animal cruelty/abuse. If any of those topics are triggering to you, or upsetting, feel free to skip to links

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Volume 1 of The Golden Sheep was a single sit read for me! I read the majority of it in the car, and for the most part it was a great first volume! This series is Kaori Ozaki’s second manga, preceded by “The Gods Lie” in 2013.

The manga, itself, deals with heavy themes from the get go. Main character, Tsugu Miikura, and her family struggle with an absent parent. Their father stays in Tokyo as the five girls move back to their old, rural town. Here, she meets up with three of her old friends: Asari, Sora, and Yuushin.

However, the group begins crumbling beneath Tsugu’s feet. Asari, jealous by Tsugus connection and relationship with Yuushin (her childhood crush), begins to neglect and ignore her. The group Tsugu used to eat lunch with abandons her, leaving her to eat alone.

Tsugu, awhile after, realizes Yuushin isn’t the same “good kid” with good grades he was when she moved. His father was revealed to have slept with a high school girl, and the school quickly turned on him. Saro began to leave Yuushin behind, avoiding interacting and hanging out with him. As a result, Yuushin begins to gain ties with the bad crowd. He begins to bully Saro, beating him and stealing his money.

Tsugu realizes this when she’s on a walk with her sister’s daughter and finds the group standing on the bridge, with Saro about to jump off at Yuushins request when Saro had come to get his dog back from the other. Saro runs off, and Yuushin leaves with his friends.

Following this event, Tsugu attempts to return the dog to Saro after finding that Yuushin is about to allow his friends to stone the animal to death. However, when his grandmother reveals he hadn’t come back, she goes on a search for him. She finds him locked in an abandoned car, in an attempt to pass from the exhaust from an open flame cooking some meat, and breaks him out using her guitar.

They speak for awhile, Saro fills her in on what she’d missed while away in Tokyo. The two decide to run away to Tokyo to live out their respective dreams, Tsugu a guitarist, and Saro as a manga illustrator. There, they find Tsugu’s father after he responds to one of her texts. The manga ends when they arrive to an apartment he’d told them to stay at.

I really enjoyed the story! There aren’t too many manga out there that depict those in Saros situation who, instead of getting help, react negatively. As someone who’s struggled how he has, I know the feeling and could really feel myself in him. The four main characters feel real and alive, they don’t just feel like plot devices to either feel sorry for or to hate. They’re complex characters motivated by the wrong reasons, or their own problems. The content was raw and unfiltered, providing a warning at the beginning, and it was almost comforting to know that my old struggles, and so many’s current struggles, were real and that it was okay to go through.

I think my only issue was Asari and Tsugu as characters. I felt they were rather plain, but Tsugu got better as the story progressed. I felt myself having to close this manga more often than others that deal with serious topics as well. I felt like I couldn’t bring myself to read it, but couldn’t bring myself to stop either.

It’s probably one of my favorite series of this genre and I can see myself picking up the second volume.

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Links - Shop, Reviews, etc.

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Amazon

At the time of writing this, the paperback version of “The Golden Sheep” is unavailable, however the kindle version is available for $7.49

https://www.amazon.com/Golden-Sheep-1-Kaori-Ozaki/dp/1947194801

Barnes and Noble Available for both paperback and kindle with $12.95 and $7.49 (respective) pricetags

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/golden-sheep-1-kaori-ozaki/1130055509?ean=9781947194809

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Review!

Kodansha US https://kodansha.us/series/the-golden-sheep/

My Anime List https://myanimelist.net/manga/113409/Kin_no_Hitsuji

Good Reads https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/45554788-the-golden-sheep-vol-1

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That’s all for now! Thank you for reading and have a good day <3

#Manga #Manga Review #The Golden Sheep #Kodansha #Verticle #Verticle Manga #Manga Collection #Manga Recommendation

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an0nymousghost · 3 years

Text

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring.

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient.

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays.

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save.

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet.

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them.

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds.

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah.

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no.

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think!

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes.

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives.

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are:

paisley and alari started dating during this

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators.

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff.

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip.

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves.

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do.

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

#replies #replying to MYSELF

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dontshootmespence · 4 years

Text

Through It All

Part 27

Summary: Now married, Spencer & Y/N navigate the D/s lifestyle. How will their relationship change?

Words: 1,923

Warnings: Anxiety.

A/N: No smut, just fluff!

The birth parents, Ai Campbell and Kyle Richardson, could meet you and Spencer and decide that they didn’t like you as much as they thought, so instead of telling your parents or Diana about the possible new babies, BABIES, you just ask your parents to babysit Charlotte while you have a date day.

Once Charlie’s out the door with your parents you start to get shaky, your legs barely able to hold up your weight. Spencer wraps you in his arms. “In through your nose and out through your mouth. We can do this.”

“What if they don’t like us?” You ask as loudly as your voice can muster. You feel so small, so scared. Your hopes are already up.

Spencer takes a deep breath, clearly a little on edge himself and chuckles. “Well, one, they’d be wrong. We’re amazing. And two, like you said before, it’s either meant to be or it’s not, but we’ll get through it.”

“I want these babies, Spence.”

Reaching into your bag, he pulls out your hairbrush. “We have a few minutes before we have to go. Turn around and close your eyes.”

His instructions pull you away from your thoughts for a moment so you turn around and do as he says, smiling softly when he pulls the brush through your hair. “This always relaxes you.”

“It does.” Nothing puts you at ease more than having your hair brushed.

Minutes flow into hours, at least your body believes it. When you’re finally peaceful, Spencer taps three times on your shoulder and whispers that it’s time to go. As his hand slips into yours, you swallow back your fear and hope for the best.

---

Cradle of Hope practically crackles with electricity. The moment is now. On the way over, Minnie called to let you know that Ai and Kyle were there a little early and excited to meet you both.

Spencer parks the car and comes to your side to open the door, taking your hands in his. “Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.” He repeats himself two more times before asking if you’re ready to do this.

You breathe calmly. “Let’s go.”

Inside, Minnie ushers you in and preps you both that way Spencer had prepped you. She just tells you to be yourselves. “Because if they fall in love with who you are, the people right in front of them, you’ll probably get chosen. It’s when people are closed off that these kinds of meetings don’t go well.

After a quick introduction via Minnie, she leaves the four of you alone. Ai is barely showing, but she has her hand on her stomach anyway, clearly protective. Just as you are, she’s a little nervous, but Kyle and Spencer take the lead and introduce themselves. “How are you?” Spencer asks. “Ai, how are you feeling?”

“A little morning sickness,” she replies. “But nothing too horrible just yet.” Sitting down on the couch, she cuddles into Kyle, clearly they’re on the same page about this and they love each other. In terms of birth parents, if they choose you, you couldn’t be luckier. “Minnie just said that we should get to know each other. We’ve read your file, but maybe you could tell us a little bit about your lives.”

Spencer gives your hand a squeeze. Your nervous energy is now his, so you tell Ai and Kyle all about how you met at a bar and fell hard and fast for Spencer. He smiles at your words and pulls you close. “We’ve been married for a couple years now and have a beautiful little girl named Charlotte Magnolia. We call her Charlie for the most part. Occasionally Maggie and Spencer calls her little flower.”

“She is,” Spencer continues. “I used to work for the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit as a profiler. After nearly 20 years with the Bureau, I decided to start teaching and consulting on occasion so I could be home with Y/N. Best decision I ever made after asking her out and asking her to marry me.”

“Stop, you guys are so cute,” Ai laughs. “Okay, so Kyle and I are really intent on these babies being adopted together. We want them to be wanted by whoever adopts them. Not just they’ll take two because they don’t want to lose the opportunity for one, if you know what I mean?”

“I do,” you reply. “I would be lying if I said that taking on two babies at once didn’t scare the ever-living shit out of me-”

“Me too.” Spencer nods vigorously.

Laughing, you continue. “But we want them both. Having them will complete the family we’ve always wanted.”

Kyle leans forward and opens his mouth, hesitant at first. “Can I ask why you want to adopt when you do have a biological child? Do you think you’ll feel any differently about her as opposed to them.”

Spencer responds immediately, ensuring them that children are children and if they choose you, those babies will be your children in all ways but one.

“As for why adoption, I’ve always wanted to adopt. And although I love the result of my pregnancy, the pregnancy itself was taxing on my body and to be truthful it’s not something I want to put my body through again.”

“With all this morning sickness, I feel you.” Ai takes a sip of water and pulls Kyle back into the couch so she can lean on him. Nearly an hour passes as you trade stories. Almost nothing about the adoption itself, just random stories that allow you to get a feel for who everyone is as people. “Do you have any questions for us?”

Spencer wrings his hands together and leans up, having slouched into the couch over the course of the last hour. “We do. Umm, what made you pick us to meet out of all the files you read?”

“We both like the fact that you already have a baby.” Ai rubs her stomach, a somewhat sad smile crawling across her lips. “I guess it gives us the assurance that you’d be good parents, because you already are. We also liked your FBI background, Spencer. We feel like they’d be safe, which is all we want. Safe and happy and-”

Without meaning to, Kyle cuts her off. “Sorry, babe. We really liked the way you spoke about each other. Kind of reminded us of us. We’ve been together since high school. And although we would like these babies, we don’t feel as if we can give them the life they deserve while still working to cement our own lives.” The last few words catch in his throat and Ai begins to hold back tears.

“How involved would you want to be post-adoption?” You ask shakily. You feel for them. Though you want these babies, you feel awful that they do too and just aren’t in a place to provide for them. “Do you want updates?”

“We’d definitely love updates,” Kyle says, squeezing Ai’s hand. “As often as you would be comfortable. Possibly visits, again if that would be okay with you. But those don’t have to be as often. Probably couldn’t be, especially while in college. Is that something you’d both be okay with?”

Nodding, you reach across the table separating the two couches and wrap your arms around Ai’s neck. She’s full on crying now. You don’t know what else to say, so you tell her it’s going to be okay and no matter what happens things are going to work out. “We definitely want them to know that they’re lucky enough to have four parents that love them.”

Kyle pulls Ai in for a hug and soon enough you’re all at least a little bit teary eyed. There seem to be a few whispers between them before he responds. “Ai, yea?”

She nods.

“We choose you. We want you guys.”

Your quiet stream of tears becomes a raging waterfall. “Thank you,” You cry. “We promise they’ll never doubt how much they’re loved.”

---

Once it truly settles in that you’ve been chosen the panic starts to settle in. Less than a year from now, your little family of three will become a family of five. Two newborns at once? Twice as many bills? Three children under the age of three? It’s both exciting and vomit-inducing. Obviously, it’s what you and Spencer both want, but you will have to go through that period of uncertainty again, where you question every decision you make as a parent and a human being.

For nearly a month, you and Spencer busy yourselves with reconfiguring the apartment to accommodate two babies. There’s a small office across the apartment where you move Charlotte, so that her old bedroom, the larger room, can hold two cribs. In the midst of trying to put everything together you have a little bit of a breakdown about how cluttered everything feels, which leads to you and Spencer discussing the possibility of a move into the suburbs once the babies are ready to transfer into big kid beds.

So much is happening at once and despite wanting to take your time with each other, quickies in the morning become the norm. Eventually, you’ll both settle into the building anticipation and get back to your preferred sexual routines, but neither of you can focus at the moment and with all the preparations and nervousness you’re too tired to do anything but snuggle.

“Should we tell Charlie about the babies?” You ask, basking in the afterglow for a brief moment before pushing yourself up. “I mean I know Ai and Kyle could still back out, but I have a good feeling.”

“And we don’t want to leave her blindsided anway,” Spencer says, pulling on his flannel pajama pants. “How about over breakfast?”

In agreement, you grab Charlie from her room and let her pick an outfit before bringing her out to the table, where Spencer already has some eggs ready for her. “Charlie, Mommy and Daddy have something special to tell you,” Spencer starts, his voice constricting. Somehow, through all the unsubs he talked down and all the times you and he have done everything under the sun, he finds himself at a loss for words in front of your barely two year old.

Crouching down, you meet her at her level and hold her little hand. “There’s a mommy out there, kind of like me, who has two babies in her belly. But she can’t take care of them, so she asked Daddy and I to take care of them. You’re going to be a big sister.”

Try reading a 21-month-old. It’s hard. Even Spencer looks baffled, though it looks like the gears in Charlie’s sweet little head are turning. “Babies?” She asks pointing to your stomach.

“Not my belly, baby. They’re in another lady’s belly and she needs help so the babies are going to come here and be your little brothers or sisters.”

A small smile forms on her face. “I help?”

“You can absolutely help with the babies!” You say excitedly, thankful that her reaction wasn’t worse or even non-existent. “You’re going to be a great big sister.”

Without a word, she jumps off her seat at the table and runs into her room only to come out moments later with a baby doll in hand. “I help.”

Bending down, you kiss the top of her head and pick her up, sandwiching her between yourself and Spencer. “Best big sister ever,” he whispers.

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#through it all #the most natural thing in the world #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #dontshootmespence

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jtsfavslut · 4 years

Text

Stages [6/6]

Description: In which a girl goes through six stages to realize and accept the fact that her marriage is going downhill.

Stage Three: Acceptance

Description: Just when Yeimy accepts her life the way it is, she gets unexpected news.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2k+

Acceptance (n.): a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition

Two and a half months. Two months and fifteen days and you were feeling free.

You had taken a week off of work, by simply completing all your work a week before.

You sat down by yourself at the beach and had a mental conversation with yourself.

It took you two months and fifteen days to accept the reality that you and Grayson were no longer together.

The reality that you were alone, at least for now.

You haven't talked to Karina or Ethan, or any else you knew since the day you left Grayson’s office.

They had called you, visited you but you declined every call and pretended you weren’t home until they finally gave up, leaving you a letter.

A letter telling you that they respected your decision of not wanting to have contact with anyone or anything. Letting you know that they loved you and that they were always ready to listen.

Not wanting to be that selfish, you sent Karina a text telling her how sorry you were for your actions, but that you needed some time.

Time away from everyone and everything.

And that was it.

The main reason was that Ethan reminded you of him in many ways, since they were twins, obviously.

The other main reason is that you wanted to close that chapter in your life once and for all, and you did.

And finally, you came in terms with the fact that this was now your life.

Going to work early in the morning, surviving the entire day with just a coffee and a bagel or croissant, then going home to cook a sad little meal for yourself and go to bed.

You would sometimes go to the beach, straight after work, blasting your oh so depressing indie music.

You were fine until one day you were listening to Tame Impala, and your mind went straight to the thought of him.

That being because you two bonded over your love for Tame Impala. You pulled up to work one day while blasting the Inner Speaker, the sounds of ‘Solitude Is Bliss’ caused Grayson to come up to you and asked if you listened to them on the regular.

FLASHBACK:

“I do, I literally play them every day,” you smiled walking next to him to the building’s door.

“Me too, they’re just so good,” he replied with a smile on his face, holding the door open for you, causing a light red tint to spread across your foundation covered cheeks.

“Thanks” you whispered and he nodded his head with a smile.

“Hey, maybe we can listen to them together after work?” he awkwardly asked once you were in the elevator for a few seconds, just you and him.

“I would love too, I actually know a place,” you replied with a shy smile as his eyes looked at you, begging you to say yes.

“Cool, umm I’ll wait for you at the parking lot, and then umm we can grab a bite or something,” he shyly replied, his blushing state making you smile and feel slightly better about blushing.

“Yeah, I’ll be inside your office all day anyways, sorting through papers,” you replied, mentally slapping yourself for being so shy. But then again, it was your third week in the internship and you were already flirting with your boss, who was infarct just a couple of years older than you.

“Right, there’s not that much to do today Marie, that’s your name, right? Please tell me it is?” he said as the elevator’s doors opened causing you to giggle as you both walked out.

“Lol, yeah it’s my middle name, my first name is Yeimy,” you replied and he let out a relieved sigh.

“Thank God, I thought I already messed up,” he joked while laughing.

“Nope, not yet Mr.Dolan,” you replied, following inside the office and taking a seat at your desk that was in the corner.

“Please call me Grayson, that makes me feel old,” he said and you sent him a confused look. “I’m only 21. Why do I look old?” he asked, making you laugh.

“No, no, no” you quickly let out. “You just seem mature and you’re built more grown like,” you said explaining how he had a grown man's body, you only realized what you’d said when you saw the smirk on his face.

“Oh god no, that sounds so inappropriate, I’m sorry,” you quickly apologized while he laughed.

“Marie, nowhere in the contract that you signed did it say it was wrong for us to flirt, and may I saw, you have a mature body too,” he replied with a cocky smirk and you blushed. You spent the rest of the day avoiding eye contact. Grayson made you feel nervous, yet giddy, it was a weird feeling. You liked it but you thought it was wrong, and boy was you in for a ride.

End of Flashback.

You quickly changed the song before you got yourself even deeper into your memories.

Yeah, you accepted the fact that everything between you and him was done for, but you also accepted the fact that you’ll never love anyone else like him.

Grayson was the love of your life.

Grayson was your person.

And you thought that when people said ‘right person, wrong time’ it was just a lie, but it was true.

Grayson was, and will always be your person, but the timing was wrong, unfortunately.

But that was what had happened in your life for the past two months, nothing.

You just worked, ate, workout watched Netflix, and slept. As Well as the usual night drives and constant visits to the beach.

In need of a physical for work, you had set up an appointment for 10 in the morning, and by 9 o’clock you were already dressed in some mom jeans and a cropped tee with some simple white air forces and out the door and on your way to the doctor’s office.

You dreaded going to the Doctors, not because you were scared, but because of the wait.

Once they called you in, you got up with a sigh and followed the lady inside the room, where she took your vitals, checked your height and weight, and gave you a cup to pee in, which you quickly did because you knew this was coming and held it on all the way till here.

“Hi, Yeimy, I’m Dr.Kelly, we’re gonna start with a few questions. Is that ok?” Your doctor asked after she walked inside the room after knocking a few times.

You nodded your head in response letting out a low ‘yeah’

“Ok, I know these are awkward but we have to ask everyone these, ok?” she said and started talking before you could even respond.

“Have you smoked any marijuana, or consumed any products with it?” she asked and you shook your head saying no.

“Smoked cigarettes?” she asked and you shook your head with disgust causing her to laugh.

“Never,” you replied and she let out a ‘good’ checking it off the list.

“Do you drink alcohol?” she asked.

“Nope,” you replied and she crossed that off the list.

“Last one. Have you had any unprotected sex within the last three months?” she asked looking up from her paper as you stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Yeah,” you sighed. Recalling the last time you had fucked anyone was when you found out Grayson was cheating on after he had done just about everything to you.

“Any pregnancy symptoms? Just know we’ll do a test with your urine to make sure, and if it were to come positive we’ll send you to the Ob/Gyn’s office and help you with everything you need,” she said with a reassuring smile after she noticed your mood swift from calm to nervous and stiff.

“Ok, yeah thanks,” you softly whispered out with a smile.

“Ok sweetie, you seemed just about fine, vitals are good, your weight is good, height seems a little short for your age but other than that everything is good,” she said getting up from her chair as you chuckled at the height part.

“I’ll be right back, with your results. And everything will be alright, there are always options,” she said trying to make you feel better before she left.

Which didn’t work at all?

What if you were pregnant? You knew abortion wasn’t the answer for you, but what would you do.

You knew you were going to keep it, throwing adoption out of the window,

The only concern was regarding Grayson.

If you are pregnant, are you going to tell him? Or are you gonna raise the child all by yourself?

What would be his reaction? I mean for the love of God, you were just starting to get over the man...sort off.

You didn’t even know if you were or weren’t pregnant and you were already overthinking everything, and being alone in a small, white and quiet room wasn’t helping. Not even a bit.

You pushed them to the back of your mind, trying to think of something else even though they still lingered around.

The doctor was gone for five minutes, but those five minutes seemed like five hours due to your nervous state.

“Congrats Yeimy, you’re pregnant. You’re about three months, and two weeks, we’re not exactly sure, but the Ob/Gyn can tell you that once we set up an appointment,” she said, your ears only hearing the pregnant part.

It was at that exact moment that your life had changed, for the second time this year.

But in your mind, it was something somewhat positive.

Positive in the aspect that you had wanted kids all your life, so this was making you happy, and knowing you weren’t going to be alone.

But negative because you were going to have to raise a child all by yourself, you had the money, the housing, and everything a child needed to grow up.

The only thing you didn’t have to provide was a father.

It was wrong. Wrong on so many levels. And selfish too, but as you sat in your kitchen for almost two hours, thinking and trying to come up with a solution.

You decided you weren’t going to tell him. At least not yet. You and him were done for, and you didn’t want to bring him back into your life.

You couldn’t. You just got over him and accepted the fact that you had gotten divorced.

And you kept it to yourself. It was easy, after getting a divorce from Grayson, all the spotlight you had was take away too, which you were grateful for. You deleted every social media, and you were back to your previous social status, somehow.

Now you were just a writer for Vogue who dated a celebrity and now doesn’t, which helped you hide the pregnancy away from everyone.

The only thing you care about now is your baby.

That was it.

So you started eating healthier, stressing less and getting a good night sleep every night.

You had also told your boss, who you had a good work-relationship with. She always listened to you and you did to her.

She was so happy when you told her, and told you how she was going to spoil him or her, and how she was going to let you work from home since she knew you had nobody.

You loved her, she was like the mom you never had, since she was old enough to be your mom, but had the mentally to understand people your age.

Knowing that took a large amount of stress off your shoulder, since you knew that when the baby was born, you would have all the time and everything you’ll need to raise him or her properly.

Because from that day on, all you had and still have is your baby, a tiny little bean inside your uterus that you don’t even know the gender of.

Tags: @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @333dolans @vinylhazza @fangdolan @dolanissues es @mercurygrant @persistence-ofmemories @dolansficsandpics @blindedbythelightt @kinkygrays @pineappledols @the-evolution-of-stupidity @evergreendolan @beatement-l l @graydolan12

#grayson dolan #ethan dolan #graysonbailey #dolan twins #ethangrant #grayson x reader #grayson bailey #graysonsmut #dolan fandom #grayson #Grayson Stages #stages

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merakiaes · 4 years

Text

Self Care - Finn Shelby

Pairing: Finn Shelby x reader

Requested: By @foggysportsbananawagon and anon.

Prompts: #20, #21, #22 and #32 from the angst-list.

Warning/notes: This is a combination of this, this and this request. It turned out a bit messier and more angsty than I originally planned so I’m warning you for cringe xD (NOT PROOFREAD)

Wordcount: 3667

Summary: Following John’s death, Finn has been trying to fill the empty space left behind by taking on too much work, something that causes conflict between the two of you.

Finn Shelby was way too good for the business his family was running. Hell, he was too good for all of Birmingham, and probably too good for you, as well. But still, you had been together for a year now.

You had grown up jumping around between families and orphanages and most of the orphanages and families had treated you alright.

But you were a handful growing up, acting out because of the lack of stability in your life, so you never got to stay very long at the same place.

As you entered your early teenage years, you cleaned up your act. Or, well, you got better at concealing your anger, and this resulted in your final family keeping you for all time to come.

Unfortunately for you, however, the final family ended up being the only one to not treat you alright.

The family consisted of a woman, her husband and their three sons, all of whom were older than you by a minimum of seven years, and all of whom were going to mentally and physically abuse and sexually harass you for the next five years of your life.

The first three years, between the ages twelve and fifteen, you were still a weak, lanky little thing who, despite already having quite the temper, was too scared to actually do anything when the three brothers started asking, or rather demanding you, for… favors.

You guessed you were lucky in a way that your body blossomed very late as you during those first years “only” had to touch them but got away without being touched yourself.

But once you passed fifteen you grew into your feminine shapes, which caught their attention in an entirely different way. They tried to force themselves on you, but curves weren’t the only thing you developed.

With them, your muscle mass also increased, which made you able to defend yourself, which in turn, caused the sexual exploitation to take a more violent turn.

Everyone in your neighborhood knew what was going on. They saw the bruises on your arms and the vulnerable look behind your eyes.

But everyone turned a blind eye to the entire situation, shrugging it of with the reasoning that ‘war did that to a man’ and that it was ‘only natural for them to crave physical intimacy after being alone and scared for so long’.

This went on until you neared your eighteenth birthday, when finally, someone stepped in and did something.

The Shelby brothers.

They were passing through your town on business, heard the yelling and cursing coming from both you and your supposed “brothers”, and discovered the four of you in an alley behind a shop, where you were cursing them out and swinging at them with a metal pipe while they laughed and tried grabbing at your dress.

Now, violence against women wasn’t unusual in the slums of Small Heath, and usually, they wouldn’t bat an eye. But you were young, they were three against one, and you had a certain fire to you that they couldn’t turn a blind eye to.

John was the first one to come to your rescue, taking you under his arm and pulling you away to allow Arthur and Tommy to do what Peaky Blinders did best; slash their eyes out with their blades and leave them to bleed to death.

Even though you had been fighting back with more ferocity than most women sported, you were really shaken up and refused to leave John’s side during the entire ride back to Small Heath.

And even when you had arrived at the Shelby household where Polly greeted you with open arms, they noticed by the way you would glare at everyone else, that John wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon.

So he stayed the entire time Polly cleaned your cuts and took care of you, and by the time Finn arrived back home from the boxing ring with Isaiah in tow later that night, you had calmed down and was sitting at the kitchen table playing cards and joking around with John and Arthur while Tommy and Polly sat by watching.

You hadn’t had the most gracious first meeting with the youngest of the Shelby siblings, seeing as this was the time he had began developing his whole hostile “I can do what I want because I’m a Shelby”-attitude.

But after a cuff upside the head with the kitchen towel from Polly, he had to get to terms with the fact that you were going to be staying with them. And only a few days into it, it was all good.

John tried keeping you out of the family business to his best ability, but once in a while he allowed you to come along on the safer jobs, where he was certain no violence would be involved.

You basically either followed John around wherever he went or helped Esme out with the kids when he wasn’t able to. And Finn, he followed you around wherever you went, which wasn’t all too appalling.

John took care of you and you started taking care of Finn once your relationship took a romantic turn, and that’s how it continued for almost a year. Until John passed away at the hands of Changretta, breaking the entire family apart.

You had never felt such an intense sorrow as you did at John’s passing, not even over your own parents. After all, he had been the one to look after you for the past year, taking you in as if you were one of his own.

Two months had passed since his funeral, and although you got along with the rest of the family, you weren’t as close with them as you were John and Finn, so the latter was pretty much the only one you had left.

At least that’s how it felt. And now you were losing him too.

Ever since John died, he had been trying to fill in the empty space he left being, trying to walk in his footsteps by taking on more work and responsibility than he was able to handle, pushing you away in the process.

You had tried voicing your worries a few times, but he had always waved it off and walked away. And you didn’t want to pressure him, knowing that he was mourning and therefor wanting to give him the time he needed.

But now it was getting ridiculous, and you couldn’t be quiet any longer.

The walk from your shared house to his office wasn’t very long, but it felt longer today as the weather was absolutely horrid.

Rain was pouring down and hitting the top of your head roughly, and no matter how hard you hugged your coat around your form, you still couldn’t stop the slight tremble that was going through your body.

To say you were happy to get inside once you reached your destination was a huge understatement.

You stopped in the doorway briefly to shake the rain off your arms, unbuttoning your black coat and slicking your wet hair back so that it wasn’t sticking to your face before continuing into the building and in the direction of Finn’s office.

His door was closed, something that rarely happened unless the two of you were fooling around, which instantly caused suspicion to arise inside of you.

You quickened your pace, the heels of your shoes clicking against the hard wooden floors, and you wasted no time in flinging the door open upon reaching it, your eyes instantly spotting Finn snorting a line of snow from the surface of his messy desk.

He instantly raised his head at the sound of the door hitting the wall, sniffing and using his fingers to rid of the excess powder from his nose.

He didn’t have the chance to say anything though, as you were already marching over to him with furious steps and wasting no time in wiping the two remaining lines off of the desk, watching the white powder spread into the air.

“What the fuck, Finn?!” You exclaimed, dropping the bag in your hand to the floor. “You told me you quit with the snow!”

Unlike the soft eyes he would usually look at you with, his eyes only showed pure anger, staring back at you harshly.

“I did.” He glowered down at you. “I just needed some fucking release.”

“Release?!” You yelled, throwing your arms out. “You’re addicted, Finn! It’s not healthy, none of this is healthy!”

“It’s my life! I’m an adult and a fucking Peaky Blinder, I can do whatever the fuck I want and you don’t get to decide what’s healthy and not for me!” He yelled back, which only made you more agitated than you already were.

“How daft can you be?!” You demanded. “Open your eyes! This behavior is the result of your brothers constantly using you to do their dirty work and not sparing a single thought to how it’s affecting you! They’re working you to an early grave!”

Finn stepped around his desk quickly at that, raising a finger and pointing it in your face while his other hand stayed in a fist at his side.

“Don’t talk about my brothers like that.” He snapped. “You have no right.”

You scoffed at his words, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I have every right.” You corrected him, glaring fiercely and fearlessly into his eyes. “I love them like my own flesh and blood but they’re idiots. Tommy has the emotional range of a fucking teaspoon, Arthur is as independent as a five year old and no matter how much I love and care for them, I love you more, and I’m fucking tired of how they’re just turning the cold shoulder to how you’re turning out. It needs to stop and if you’re not going to tell them to lay off on you, I’ll do it myself. In fact, I’ll go do it right now.”

Without waiting for his response, you turned whipped around and moved to head back the way you had just come from, but you only got to take one single step before Finn’s hand clamped down around your upper arm.

Your brain instantly went into panic mode at the feeling of his tight grasp squeezing your flesh. It didn’t hurt, but the feeling triggered the hundreds of traumatizing memories you still struggled to bury from your years spent with your last family.

The feeling of the three brothers’ hands on your body, trying to feel you up, and then hitting you with all their might when you wouldn’t let them.

“Why can’t you just stop putting your nose in other people’s business, (Y/N)?” Finn yelled at you, still holding on to your arm. “I can’t take it, no one can take it! You’re fucking insufferable!”

In any other case, his words probably would’ve brought tears to your eyes, but right now, you could barely even register them as they were spoken. Instead, the cause of the uncomfortable stinging feeling in your eyes was the painful memories being brought back to the surface by the familiar and dreaded feeling of being manhandled.

Your eyes slowly looked away from his and to the side, glazing over as your breathing got heavier and heavier.

Finn was still speaking. You couldn’t hear him, but you could see his lips moving in the corner of your eyes. When you suddenly stopped responding, however, your arm now handing limply in his hand, he instantly came to his senses and let you go.

And the second he did, your senses returned to normal and you began coming back to reality, now being able to hear his voice again.

“I’m sorry.” He told you, his voice coming out as a breath. He took a step back, seeming to get lost in thought for a moment before he regained his composure and walked up to you again, grabbing a hold of both of your upper arms but this time a lot gentler.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, bringing his thumbs up to your cheeks. “Please don’t cry.”

You hadn’t even realized the stinging in your eyes had turned into fully developed tears until you felt the wetness between his thumb and your cheek.

Raising your eyes back to meet his, you noticed that all of the anger previously held behind his baby blues were gone and replaced with guilt.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispered, taking another step closer to you and joining the hand that wasn’t wiping away at your cheeks with one of yours. “I’m sorry.”

As he closed his eyes and leaned down to press his forehead against yours, you took a deep breath, responding to his actions by squeezing his hand in yours.

“You didn’t hurt me you idiot.” You whispered, causing him to open his eyes again. “What’s hurting me is that you’re hurting yourself.”

You swallowed, feeling a new set of tears building up at the brim of your eyes. “You’re killing yourself by trying to fill John’s shoes. I cared for him just as much as the rest of you. He was the one who got me out of that horrible place, out of the grasp of those even more horrible people. He saved me and now he’s gone and it breaks my fuckin heart every day. But you’re not him. You’re not supposed to be him. No one is, but him, himself.”

You paused briefly, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears from falling, but it was to no use.

“I know it hurts and that you’re scared.” You continued with a shaky voice. “But it’s not your fault and no one is going to hurt you. I’ve tried to help; I try to talk to you about how you feel but you just keep pushing me away.”

You opened your eyes to look at him again. His nostrils were flaring slightly and his jaw was tense, a clear sign that he was trying his hardest not to let his walls down, and the words leaving his lips a second later did nothing to prove the opposite.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He shook his head, removing his forehead from yours and taking a step back. “I’m fine.”

Your body grew cold again when he walked away from you to lean on his desk, and you instantly found yourself missing the feeling of his skin against yours.

“That’s what you always say, but it’s not true, is it?” You inquired. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so, don’t lie and pretend you’re fine when you clearly aren’t.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself in a desperate attempt to get some of the warmth he had taken with him back, but it did nothing. You let out a shaky breath, squeezing at your own arms.

“You can’t make everyone happy.” You sniffed. “You can do anything, because quite frankly you’re fucking amazing, but you can’t do everything. The person who tries to keep everyone happy often ends up feeling the loneliest. Just look at your brothers. They have families that love them, but they’re both fucking miserable because they keep pushing everyone who care about them away. John was the only one who didn’t. You want to be like him? Follow his example on that. Don’t try to be like him with the sole purpose of proving yourself to Tommy. I know you think you have something to prove but you don’t. And either way, you shouldn’t even feel like you have to prove your worth to your own fucking brothers. They’re supposed to see it by themselves, and if they don’t, then fuck them. In fact, fuck everyone else. A lot of what weighs you down isn’t yours to carry to begin with. If someone asks you to do more and you have a big reaction inside, it may be a sign that you’re already doing too much. You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love. You have to think about yourself, Finn.”

You finished your long rant with a deep breath, barely even having taken a second to breathe in between sentences and being left winded.

Finn was still leaning on his desk, his hands squeezing the edge of the wood to the point where his knuckles were turning white. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, another clear sign that he had been working way too hard, and his back was rising and falling as he breathed heavily.

Even though he was turned away from you, you could see clearly that he was trying his hardest to keep his cool as he listened to your rant, without a doubt just as conflicted by his own feelings like he always was these days.

“They need me.” He responded without moving an inch. “They need me to step up and fill the space he left behind. You just… you don’t understand.”

But you did. You understood better than anyone.

“You’re wrong.” You shook your head. “They don’t need you. I’m the one who needs you. I’m all alone and I-“

You had to cut yourself short as you were overcome with sadness, having to bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep the sob from leaving your lips.

“And I… I don’t know how much longer I can stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I already lost John. I can’t lose you too.”

This time, you couldn’t keep the sob in no matter how hard you tried, and Finn perked up immediately at the sound, pushing himself off the desk as you continued, now staring down at the floor.

“You’re slipping through my fingers, Finn, and I can’t seem to stop you from slipping further and further away. If this is how things are going to be, I don’t know if I can stay with you. With any of you. I can’t take the helplessness; I can’t take all of the chaos. I need something stable, and besides John when he was still alive, you were the only stable thing I had. And now you’re just…”

You couldn’t find the right words, but you clearly got your point across as Finn whipped around faster than a man finding out the pregnancy test results.

“No.” He shook his head, marching over to you and taking your face in his hands, pressing his forehead against yours and looking into your eyes so desperately. “You can’t leave me. You’re all I’ve got. I’ll change, I promise. I’ll start listening to you. Please.”

You could barely comprehend the words spilling out of his mouth, they were coming out so rushed.

“I don’t want you to listen to me.” You answered, giving him a stern look. “I want you to see things for what they are and stop trying please everyone and listen to and take care of yourself.”

He looked at you, scanned your face and searched your eyes for something you didn’t know. You stayed like that for another few seconds, just looking at each other. And then he nodded, moving his hands away from your face to the small chest pocket in his vest, pulling out a small bag of the same white powder you had caught him snorting when first arriving.

Your eyes hardened at the sight of the substance, your mouth turning sour. “What are you doing?” You asked, glaring slightly.

But he was completely unbothered, simply answering; “I’m taking care of myself.”, before turning around and walking over to the fire to the right of his desk, where he tossed the small bag into the flames, the plastic letting out a loud sparkling sound when it met with the heat.

“Finn.” You called out, wrapping your arms around yourself once again to make up for the warmth that he had taken with him.

But he didn’t listen, simply going over to his liquor cabinet and grabbing the two half-full bottles standing on the middle shelf, walking straight past you again and heading directly for the window where he started pouring out the contents of the first bottle.

You furrowed your eyebrows slightly, calling out again. “Finn.”

But yet again, you got no answer. He just put down the now empty bottle and picked up the second one, starting to undo the lid.

With a sigh, you uncrossed your arms and walked up to him, ignoring the chill that overcame you when the cold air from the window hit your clothes that were still wet from the rain, and grabbed a hold of the bottle just as he was about to start pouring it out.

You pulled it out of his grasp and put it down on the windowsill, and then proceeded to grab a hold of his upper arms to turn him to look at you.

He was breathing heavily and looking like he was on the verge of crying, which only proved further how broken and overworked he really was.

Your tears had finally stopped falling, and your sobbing had ceased. You sniffled, bringing his face down to yours like he had done to you only moments before, but rather than resting your forehead against his, you pressed a kiss to his lips.

His hands moved to your waist out of pure instinct, pulling you closer.

You pushed your lips harder against his before breaking apart slightly, not enough to stop your lips from touching but enough to allow you to speak.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered, moving your hands from his face to the back of his head. “I promise.”

He closed his eyes, letting his head fall into the crook of your neck and pulling you closer by your waist. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled into your skin, and you took a shaky breath, letting your eyes fall shut too.

“I know.”

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder headcanon #finn shelby #finn shelby imagine #finn shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #thomas shelby #john shelby #arthur shelby #ada shelby #polly gray #michael gray

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encounterthepast · 4 years

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If you enjoy this please follow @RussInCheshire on twitter for his regular threads on UK politics.

As it’s the weekend, let’s start #TheWeekInTory with a frivolous and jolly story about our own govt deliberately starving hundreds of thousands of children...

1. In May, Boris Johnson promised “nobody will go hungry as a result of Coronavirus”

2. He then denied school meals to the 600,000 poorest children

3. So Marcus Rashford ran a campaign to get the govt to feed children, which - just think about that: he had to *campaign* for it

4. Then Boris Johnson congratulated Rashford on his campaign to overturn the cruel policies of, erm, Boris Johnson

5. And then 3 days later, Boris Johnson refused to feed those kids during school holidays

6. So this week Labour organised a parliamentary vote about it

7. And 322 Tories voted against feeding hungry children

8. Vicky Ford, the Children’s Minister (who you’ll be surprised to hear neither looks nor sounds like a ludicrous Dickensian villain) went ahead and voted against feeding children

9. Tory MP Jo Gideon voted against feeding children. Jo Gideon, in case you didn't think things could get any more unbelievable, is also the chair of "Feeding Britain", a charity that campaigns to end food poverty and hunger in the UK.

10. Tory MP Paul Scully waved away the grumbling parents of kids with grumbling tummies, and said “children have been going hungry under Labour for years”, seemingly forgetting Tories have been in power for a decade

11. Tory MP Ben Bradley, who once had to apologise for suggesting sterilising the poor, said feeding children will simply “increase their dependency”. On food. Yeah, wean the little bastards off it. It’ll do them good in the end, which will be around 3 agonising weeks.

12. At this point, pause to consider that MPs get their food and drink subsidised. A £31 meal in a parliamentary restaurant costs MPs £3.45. In 2018 this subsidy cost the taxpayer £4.4m. I can’t find any record of Tories like Ben Bradley voting against this.

13. Pressing on: Ben Bradley also said “Some parents prioritise other things ahead of their kids. Small minority, yes... but some do”. Yes, and a small minority of Tory MPs have been arrested for rape. Should we send them all to prison?

14. Also, Mark Francois voted (by proxy) to keep kids hungry. Not related to the previous item. Why would you think that?

15. Tory MP Nicky Morgan said the govt voted to starve 600,000 children cos a Labour MP called a Tory MP scum. And that’s not a scummy thing to do at all.

16. Tory MP David Simmonds said Marcus Rashford’s experience of poverty in secondary school “took place entirely under a Labour government”. Rashford was 11 when Tories came into power, making David Simmonds are rare example of an ad hominem attack on yourself

17. Simmonds then said Labour’s parliamentary vote was “all about currying favour with wealth and power and celebrity status”. He might be right – the govt managed to unify Gary Linaker and Nigel Farage in condemnation of their denial of food to kids

18. Brandan Clark-Smith (who voted to starve kids) demanded “more action to tackle the real causes of child poverty”

19. So at once, the govt cut minimum wage for furloughed people. They now get 2/3 of the money the govt says is the absolute minimum it is possible to survive on

20. And then it was revealed that low-paid workers who have to isolate due to Covid can claim £500. Yay!

21. But if they’re told to isolate by the govt’s contact tracing app, they can’t claim anything. Un-yay.

22. Long story short: the govt cannot spend £120m feeding children. But it can spend £522 on the Eat Out Scheme, which its own report said contributed “negligible amounts” to the hospitality economy, and Boris Johnson admitted drove up infection rates – especially in the North

23. Those infection rates caused the govt to move Manchester into Tier 3

24. So the Mayor of Manchester asked for a £90m support package (1/6th of the money the govt spent causing the problem in the first place)

25. The govt said no, £60m

26. The Mayor said, how about £65m?

27. The govt said no, £60m

28. The Mayor said ok, fine, we’ll take the £60m

29. And then govt offered Manchester £22m, and then went to the press and said the Mayor was "being unreasonable"

30. The negotiations were led by Robert Jenrick, who recently set up a fund for the poorest 101 towns, then awarded his town £25m even though it is the 270th poorest, and therefore not even eligible

31. £25m is £237 per person

32. Manchester gets £7.85 per person

33. Robert Jenrick gave Manchester (2.8 million people) £22m

34. Robert Jenrick gave Richard Desmond (1 person) £45m

35. The talks broke down when the govt wouldn’t spend an extra £5m

36. The govt plans to spend £7m vitally rebranding "Highways England" to "National Highways"

37. Manchester Young Conservatives tweeted “Boris has lied about helping us in the North. It’s time for him to go". Don't look - they deleted it. Suspect somebody had a word.

38. Meanwhile the govt said Manchester will get the £60m after all, and chaos continue to reign supreme

39. But that £60m is brief reprieve for the Tories of Manchester, as a govt report said Tory seats in the North of England (the so-called "Red Wall" seats) can expect to lose at least 4000 jobs *each* as a result of Brexit, even if we do get a deal. More if we don't.

40. The govt rushed to begin its first airport Coronavirus testing, a mere 211 days after mandatory airport testing was begun in South Korea

41. South Korea has had 8 deaths per million

42. The UK has had 665 deaths per million

43. More airport news, as the govt finally accepted Brexit will cause “up to 8-hour delays at passport checks” and asked the EU to allow UK citizens to queue at EU-only lanes. Like we did when we were in the EU. But we aren’t now. So tough.

44. A senior diplomat said, “Having grown up in Brussels, Boris Johnson values the ability to travel freely to the continent”. You’d think Boris Johnson would foresee this problem when he led the campaign to stop that freedom.

45. The independent reviewer of Terrorism Legislation said the UK “will be increasingly unable to cope” after Brexit, as we lose access to EU data-sharing agreements

46. And a No-Deal end to UK/EU scientific collaboration will leave London with a £3bn annual deficit

47. In the space of 38 days, the govt announced the £100bn "Operation Moonshot" to solve Covid; then cancelled it; and then re-launched it again after it was found they’d accidentally continued to pay over 200 private consultants up to £7000 a day to work on it.

48. So this week, Boris Johnson said Moonshot would continue, but it’s goals “would take time”, which is the literal opposite of what he said it would do when it first announced it, and makes the entire thing absolutely pointless

49. And now it’s been admitted that Operation Moonshot would be quietly folded into the existing £12bn Test and Trace programme, and the £100bn has vanished. Apart from the bits the Serco consultants took for doing… nothing.

50. But Boris Johnson said the Test and Trace programme was “helping a bit”, and “a bit” is the least you’d expect if you’d spent £12bn

51. And then the £12bn Test and Trace programme fell to its lowest success rate so far, identifying only 60% of at-risk people

52. Local councils, with no additional funding, are tracing 98% of cases

53. A quick sweep though other epic successes you may have missed (or deliberately blocked out): Equalities minister Kemi Badenoch declared that it should be illegal to teach about inequality

54. The Cabinet Secretary said the report into “vicious and orchestrated” bullying by Home Secretary and Dementor Priti Patel “may never see the light of day”, cos if you have a report that vindicates you, you definitely sit on it as long as possible

55. And the appeals court unanimously overturned Priti Patel’s policy of removing people from the UK without giving them access to legal process or justice because – and I’m paraphrasing the judges here – what the fuck, Patel? What the actual fuck?

56. Undeterred, she announced plans to make rough-sleeping “grounds for removal of permission to be in the UK” and "denial of legal aid". So if you’re too poor to have a home, you must pay for a lawyer or she’ll shove you in the sea

57. After an unnamed Tory MP said it “looks bad to be handing top jobs to your friend and old boss”, Charles Moore, Boris Johnson’s friend and old boss, withdrew as next BBC chair.

58. The new favourite is Richard Sharp, the - yep - friend and old boss of Rishi Sunak

59. You’ll be amazed to hear this: Richard Sharp is a major donor to the Tory party. These little coincidences keep on happening

60. The govt decided to prevent EU citizens from having physical proof of their right to live in their own home

61. Grant Shapps threatened to “seize control of Transport for London” to save it from financial ruin at the hands of Sadiq Khan, who – the bastard - achieved a mere 71% reduction in the debts caused by his noble predecessor, Boris Johnson

62. Matt Hancock, facts at his fingertips, told MPs from Yorkshire their constituents could go on holiday abroad

63. But not in the UK

64. And then that they CAN go on holiday in the UK

65. But can't leave Yorkshire

66. He then said “I'll get back to you” about the details

67. A cross-party report found “the UK’s foreign policy is adrift”, that it lacks “clarity, confidence and vision” and that Britain is “absent from the world stage”. All of which is very soothing, as we move into the govt's proclaimed goal of a post-Brexit Global Britain.

68. And we can all relax: the govt is finally supporting culture in the UK, specifically the Nevill Holt Opera, which performs private operas, and is owned by Boris Johnson’s friend (and - jaw on floor! - Tory donor) David Ross, who is worth £700m so really needs the money.

69. The Nevill Holt Opera only functions in the summer, so thank god it has been prioritised with £85,000 to “maintain operations” in October.

And now, in honour of the opera, the fat lady can sing, cos I’m off to drink myself into oblivion. Join me.

We live in interesting times.

#tory scum #tory britain #uk news #uk this week #free school meals #andy burnham #marcus rashford

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shanethvarosa · 3 years

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Music Review: 2020

My blog has been a lot of things over the years, but it did originate as something I used to publicly review music; especially in the Visual Kei scene. Since I began the blog so many years ago, I had actually been hired to review Visual Kei and J-Rock music for an actual website: VKH-Press.com, work I am very, very proud of to this day. However, with not much news to comment on or work to critique, I haven’t been as active. Plus, personal issues always seem to stand in my way. However, I always take the time to discuss my passions at the end of the year. There were so many incredible releases, despite the COVID-19 pandemic, and so I wanted to take the time time to discuss my favorite releases and, maybe, the not-so-favorites as well. Quick shout out to Bastille’s Goosebumps EP and Megan Thee Stallion’s Good News LP as I did not get to listen to them before I wrote up my lists, but were still excellent releases. See my thoughts below!

Overall, there were about 75 albums or groupings of albums I listened to this year and split them between various tiers. Starting with the bad tier, there were actually only ten albums listed here and mostly just because they were seemingly unnecessary collection albums. For example, another Satsuki collection? Rides in ReVellion releasing two greatest hits LPs after only five years of work? Beyonce releasing The Lion King: The Gift again? None of those felt like necessary releases. There weren’t many albums that really screamed bad to me this year, but I really could not stand Vanessa Carlton’s “Love is an Art” or Justin Bieber’s “Changes.” The only other albums on this tier were just underwhelming compared to what I know the artist is capable of, but the “best bad tier album,” in my view, was The 1975′s “Notes on a Conditional Form.”

The mid-tier albums had all sorts of reasons for being only mid-tier. They weren’t quite bad or outright unnecessary, but are mostly by artists who put out work that was nowhere near the caliber of their usual work or were re-releases or other collection albums. For example, Tove Lo’s “Sunshine Kitty: Pawprint Edition” or Man With A Mission’s remixes/b-sides/covers albums. Nice to have with good quality music, but I wish we’d just have had brand new EPs or LPs.

The good-tier albums were all really excellent releases, but didn’t hit home the way anything on the “God-Tier” list did. Here, I’d like to share a quick top ten:

10. Taeyeon’s “Purpose: Repackage” & Japanese EP, “#GirlsSpkOut” 9. Charli XCX’s “How I’m Feeling Now” 8. Miyavi’s “Holy Nights” & “Holy Nights: 2020 Lockdown” 7. TK’s “Sainou” 6. PVRIS’s “Use Me” 5. Buck-Tick’s “Abracadabra” 4. Katy Perry’s “Smile” 3. Alicia Keys’ “Alicia” 2. Dua Lipa’s “Future Nostalgia” & “Club Future Nostalgia” 1. Ava Max’s “Heaven & Hell

Without furhter ado, though, the God Tier Top 25:

25. Acme’s We Are Visual Kei: Essentially a collection album of several songs that were b-sides that never made a full-blown album. This LP was loaded with some of Acme’s best work and shows that they are going to be here for a long time, despite Div not quite working out. Recommended tracks: Mononoke Requiem, Gekiyama Celluloid, Houkago no Shiiku

24. Alanis Morisette’s Such Pretty Forks in the Road: Admittedly, a huge fan in the 90′s and loved her cover of Seal’s Crazy. However, before this album I didn’t really listen to much of her body of work and I can see why today’s youth might not listen to this album. It is very “adult” insofar as it deals with her struggles in marriage, parenting, religion, etc. Her vocal performance is exceptional and her song writing remains some of the best in the business. Recommended tracks: Smiling, Nemesis, Reasons I Drink.

23. Niall Horan’s Heartbreak Weather: Not my usual cup of tea, but for some reason Niall’s music makes me feel softer than normal. He’s very cute and charming and his words are always so romantic. It feels more genuine than the music made by other members of One Direction and kind-of reminds me of earlier Taylor Swift writing, but from a male perspective. Recommended Tracks: Put A Little Love On Me, Arms of a Stranger, Still.

22. K/DA’s All Out: I don’t even really understand what this is, but I love it. There’s something to do with League of Legends? Cartoons? International pop stars? Whatever it is, I’m totally obsessed. These songs just completely slap. Recommended Tracks: The Baddest, More, Drum Go Dum.

21. Darrell’s Brilliant Death: This might even “officially” be a single, but there’s enough content to market it as an album. Darrell is a band formed from the ashes of Deathgaze and Ai’s solo project. Who knows why Ai didn’t just continue after his solo album, Confusion, but he decided to go back to the band-format with confusingly-named Darrell. This album is then, incidentally, mostly Deathgaze covers. It brings the production into the new era and gives you a lot of nostalgic love for old hits. Recommended Tracks: Brilliant Death, Evoke the World, Abyss.

20. Alice Nine’s Fuyajou Eden & Kuro to Wonderland: Neither album was particularly long, in fact these were glorified EPs that could’ve been merged to one two-sided LP, but in either case... Both albums had something really special to offer and felt like a true comeback after years of name changes and finally going back to their original, kanji-styled name. Recommended Tracks: Kakumei Kaika -Revolutionary Blooming-, Testament, Replica, Glow.

19. Mucc’s Aku: This album felt very long in the making after a series of weird singles that didn’t feel like they were going anywhere. Ultimately, a lot of those singles did not make the album including my favorite one: Taboo. The resulting album, though, did feel very cohesive and thematic and even featured one of this year’s heavy hitters: Hazuki. Recommended Tracks: Aku -Justice-, Memai, Ameria.

18. Miley Cyrus’s Plastic Hearts: This person is absolutely one of my favorite people in music. I’m pretty sure they have comeout as genderfluid/non-binary, so I want to stick with safe pronouns, just in case. However, they’ve always been a favorite and as they’ve come out as such a champion for the LGBT, I love them even more. The album though gave me a lot of hype for something very 80′s rock, but didn’t quite give me what I expected. All in all, the music was fantastic, just a little off-beat from expectations. Recommended Tracks: Gimme What I Want, Angels Like You, WTF Do I Know.

17. Rina Sawayama’s Sawayama: I didn’t expect to fall in love with this girl the way I did. My boyfriend recommended “STFU” to me as kind of a joke because the song discusses a lot of Asian racism that I’m always criticizing people in my life for falling into, but then the song was so bad ass I checked out the album. There were so many different types of music on it and she really did a good job with all of them. Then, with the deluxe edition coming out and the hardcore club banger “Lucid” being involved... Just really brought it all home. Recommended Tracks: Tokyo Love Hotel, Lucid, Fuck This World.

16. Amber Liu’s X: This was just an EP, but every song on it was great. Amber Liu was from f(x), a K-Pop Icon Group, but she always seemed like the odd one out. She was such a tomboy, so silly and funny all the time, and didn’t really behave like other Korean idols. I mean, really, she isn’t actually even Korean. I believe she’s Chinese American. In either case, the EP really noted some of her own personal strugles in the business and also remaining pretty fun at parts too. I saw her live in Philly before COVID-19 and she was truly excellent. Recommended Tracks: Numb, Stay Calm, Other People.

15. Blackpink’s The Album: Not much of an album at only 8 tracks, but that’s K-Pop for you. I bet next year I’ll be putting “Blackpink’s The Album: Repackage” on my top 25 list. The quality of the music was pretty dope though, all things considered. It was a very solid debut effort with all of their previous songs being somewhere in the same lane as this one. I still kind of believe they are a reminder of what 2NE1 could have been, but they’re doing well enough on their own. Recommended Tracks: Ice Cream, Lovesick Girls, Pretty Savage.

14. Hazuki’s Year Over All: Kind of a weird way to word it, but Hazuki basically released two albums this year in different formats. His work with his band, Lynch., was pretty magnificent. I’m not one to usually dwell on a Lynch. album. Their singles or featured tracks are what I usually get into, but the actual album (Ultima) really did a good job of showing how versatile Hazuki can be. His solo album, Souen -Funeral-, was an entirely stripped down, gothic orchestral album of Lynch. covers and other J-Hard Rock artists. Hearing it done like this was almost transcendental. Recommended Tracks: Xero, Idol, Ray, D.A.R.K.

13. Sam Smith’s Love Goes: They had me scared that their album wasn’t coming this year once they pushed it back, back in May. Then again, at the time, an album called “To Die For” was probably super tone deaf. In any case, literally every single released for this album had me in love. So, when they all got included in the final version, I was thrilled. Sam gave us a bonus song after the album as well, but I can see why that one didn’t get on. In any case, this is a huge step up from “The Thrill of it All,” which I didn’t really care for. Recommended Tracks: Another One, Dance (’Til You Love Someone Else), Forgive Myself.

12. Troye Sivan’s In A Dream: I love this kid. He’s so gay and so not shy about it and it really makes me smile. The EP comes after his last LP, Bloom, where the title track basically talks about bottoming for the first time and this new EP deals with a few other queer issues over weirdly produced beats that just... make sense. Recommended tracks: Stud, In A Dream, Easy.

11. Matenrou Opera’s Chronos: Unfortunately, this band just lost their guitarist again. Their original, Anzi, was basically the most consummate guitarist in the visual kei scene that wasn’t Hizaki and he left them. Their sound wasn’t quite right since and they seemed to just get it back with Chronos when Jay left them. I guess we’ll see what they do next, but I think Chronos could be their last great release. Recommended Tracks: Chronos, Silence, Reminiscence.

10. BoA’s Better: A very recent release that hasn’t had much time for me to digest. This is strange for me to put it so high on my list for that reason, but BoA is one of my all time favorites. She never disappoints me. This album was no different. It wasn’t exactly up to par with “Woman” or “Watashi Kono Mama de Ii no Kana,” but it definitely gave us some new and very iconic Queen BoA bangers. Recommended Tracks: Cut Me Off, Start Over, Temptations.

9. Kesha’s High Road: A semi-step down from Rainbow, only because a lot of the same melodic elements and, sometimes, even beats were used on this album too. However, her vocal performance was outstanding and she even gave us a new dirty-pop song with some interesting indie-pop tracks to go with it. Plus, who doesn’t love a Big Freedia feature? Recommended Tracks: Resentment, Raising Hell, Tonight.

8. Lady Gaga’s Chromatica: Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really love Gaga anymore. After all the drama with Madonna and her experimentation with “Joanne” I didn’t think I’d ever like her music again. However, she definitely won back big points for me on Chromatica. It was finally fun, weird, dancey, and then simultaneously emotional and I was really able to get back into it. She’s always had the voice, but on this one it also showed us that she still has what made us love her. Recommended Tracks: Rain On Me, Plastic Doll, Enigma.

7. Koda Kumi’s My Name Is... Angel + Monster: She is, very likely, my Japanese Pop Queen. She always makes these absolutely outlandish bangers of dance tracks that have such a great attitude and beat and when she released re(CORD)... last year? 2018? Who can remember... I thought she could never outdo herself. Then she released “Lucky Star” and I was floored. I was a bit disappointed when they were only to promote a “My Name Is...” collection album, but then, to my surprise, a full set of new tracks came out just after that just blew me entirely away. Guess the last 6 albums must be pretty great, huh? Recommended tracks: Killer Monster, Work It!, Alarm.

6. Grimes’ Miss Anthropocene: I’ve never been a big fan of Grimes, but when Violence came out I was really looking forward to whatever album this was going to end up promoting. The song is actual fire, but then the LP ended up being some kind of experimental Gothic Pop with Asian Pop influences I never expected. I doubt I’ll ever find something she does this good ever again, but it was really a musical light in the darkness of this year. Recommended tracks: Darkseid, Delete Forever, Violence.

5. Kylie Minogue’s Disco: Admittedly, my draw to Kylie has always been that she is like some kind of Australian Madonna. Madonna being one of my all time favorite artists... In fact, number 2 for all women I listen to, Kylie has some big shoes to fill with her sometimes generic pop that she puts out. However, I haven’t really truly loved a Kylie song since “Get Outta My Way” and then this album comes out filled with tracks to love for the rest of time. Recommended Tracks: Miss A Thing, Till You Love Somebody, Magic.

4. Chanmina’s Notebook/Angel: I don’t have really any way of knowing how popular Chanmina is in Japan or if she is as popular in the Japanese Queer Scene as she should be, but god damn does she know what she’s doing. Her music is raunchy, bitchy, and condescending at it’s highest and deeply personal at it’s most mellow. There is no “lowest.” “Notebook” was a two-sided album and “Angel” a strong follow up EP, but all the recommended tracks are from “Notebook.” If you have not listened to “Picky”.... go do it now, I’ll wait. Recommended tracks: Picky, Baby, Lucy.

3. The Weeknd’s After Hours: Incidentally, I got into The Weeknd after someone said something shitty about him here on Tumblr! I took their likely-valid criticism and went to check him out for myself and I gotta say, I love his work. The beats are literally always on point and his voice is like silk. This album provided more than a few iconic songs and I always can’t wait to see what he does next. Recommended Tracks: Alone Again, Heartless, Blinding Lights.

2. Halsey’s Manic: The singles and features she did between Hopeless Fountain Kingdom and Manic gave me such insanely high hopes and I was not disappointed. HFK was a strong album of course, but this was near perfection for me. I think the production of this alt-pop album was the star of the show because it wasn’t all one way, there were heavy-bass songs, interesting piano riffs, striaght up punk rock, all of it. She really made an album quite like it’s namesake. Recommended Tracks: Ashley, Killing Boys, Still Learning.

1. Dexcore’s Metempsychosis: A newcomer to the visual kei and death metal scene, they’ve been putting out single after single for years in preparation for their extemeley long and multidaceted debut album. With a total of about 33 songs, the entire second disc was rerecorded singles from their early days and some even got new lyrical treatment. The main series of songs were, of course, also totally flooring and all of the recommended tracks are the new ones. If you haven’t checked them out by now, you have to! Recommended tracks: Cibus, Scribble, Period.

#personal #music #2020 #visual kei #k-pop #dexcore #halsey #the weeknd #chanmina #kylie minogue #grimes #koda kumi #lady gaga #kesha #BoA

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peterstanslizzie · 4 years

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Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 2 Episode 6)

Episode Title: Fun Gus Part 2

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers.

1. Finally! The three cloaked individuals have revealed their identities to us and they’re humans just like I predicted too. They also have managed to steal the giant collar from Scarlemagne and the leader, who we still don’t know her name surprises me and asks the others to put the collar around the Mega Monkey. I thought they wanted to bring it as far away as possible from the monkey? Well, the monkey understands what she’s asking them to do and goes on to attack her before escaping its den.

2. Back in Kipo’s parents old apartment; Kipo, Wolf and Benson are spooked by the fungus mute with the toddler voice. It decides to come out of hiding and reveals itself to them. It’s actually kind of cute and he calls himself “Fun Gus”. Ahhh, so that’s where the name of the episode title comes from lol. We also know that Dave and Mandu are fine but Fun Gus considers them as his toys now.

3. They try to convince him to give them back but Fun Gus isn’t budging. Realizing that he’s just a kid, Kipo asks him if he would like for ALL of them, including Dave and Mandu to read him a story, to which he agrees but wants to be the one to read it. Whilst he’s reading Kipo’s mom’s journal, they use this distraction as an opportunity to find their friends.

4. Fun Gus is actually reading the part in Song’s journal where Kipo stopped last episode and it’s the part about Song discovering she grew fur. So we get another flashback of the past:

5. Song and Lio are trying to make sense of what’s happening to her; Song thinks that it could be the result of Kipo’s stem cells passing to her via “microchirerism”, which is basically a fancy term for what they just explained to us. They’re worried about their lab team members finding out about this or else they will use her work to turn mutes back into animals. So they need to give them a good excuse to allow Song to not come to work.

6. I think the question here is how did the animals of Las Vistas become mutes in the first place? Was it through experiments conducted by humans? Like if you were to ask me if turning back the mutes into animals is a good thing, I can’t really give you an answer.

7. Lio comes up with the idea to tell them she needs to be quarantined at home because she has burrow pox, which DOES NOT EXIST! So Lio has been lying to Kipo for all her life but again...why? Is her mom living her life as a full jaguar mute now with no recollection of her old memories? That seems quite likely.

8. Kipo is now caught off guard by this new revelation and thinks that her mother might still be alive. They also wonder if she’s taken away by the scientists or possibly even Scarlemagne. Fun Gus then pops up from inside a cupboard and asks them if they’re still listening to him. Kipo comes up with another idea and that is to play hide and go seek with him; If they manage to find Dave and Mandu, they can win them back.

9. Meanwhile, the Umlaut snakes are being tied up by the Nobles and they’re forced to attend Scarlemagne’s coronation; Well, at least they’re not dead. Anyways, Scarlemagne finally notices that the collar isn’t with them anymore and that the Mega Monkey has ran off.

10. As Kipo, Wolf and Benson are trying to find their friends, Kipo tries to use her heightened sense of smell to track them by making her jaguar nose appear. And very shortly after, they manage to find them. But Fun Gus still wants to play; Ugh, he’s starting to really annoy me.

11. Scarlemagne and the Nobles are also doing some searching of their own but the Mega Monkey trapped his Nobles in a net, leaving only himself to capture her. Without the collar, how exactly is Scarlemagne going to control her again since the Mega Monkey is really strong.

12. Our main characters unfortunately have no other choice but to play with Fun Gus. But eventually, they manage to trick him into closing his eyes, thinking that it’s a game and he also ends up falling asleep. However, they can’t escape just yet because Kipo still doesn’t think that her mom’s journal is the anchor she needs and she wants to keep looking by continuing to read through the journal.

13. We head back to the flashback and Lio reveals to Song that the scientists are getting suspicious of her burrow pox and he thinks they should leave tonight. Song isn’t feeling so good and it’s not because of what he said but it’s cuz she’s in LABOR! It then fast forwards post-delivery and they’re on the bed with baby Kipo. That was quick! LOL. And she’s already showing signs of her jaguar-nature.

14. It’s also revealed that the reason why they made Kipo a hybrid is so that she and the future generation of humans will be able to live safely on the surface since mutes are the dominant group now. Ahh, that makes sense. If that’s the case, then I respect their decision to make their child a science experiment lol. They decide to start packing to head up to the surface world to avoid getting caught. And they’re also bringing Hugo aka Scarlemagne with them. Hmm...

15. I think if you put two and two together, it’s safe to say that the scientists that Lio and Song were trying to run away from are these three humans here. And we find out the leader’s name is Dr. Emilia and the guy in the group is called Zane. Yeap, it’s obvious that they were the scientists. No wonder they are so adamant in stopping Scarlemagne. The Mega Monkey was also Dr. Emilia’s experiment for 13 years it seems. I guess she was trying to find a way to turn her back into a regular monkey?

16. Back to Kipo and the others; Fun Gus is really angry at them for attempting to trick him and he goes crazy and starts attacking them. Someone needs to drop kick this kid for real lol. He needs to get a permanent time out. He traps Wolf, Benson and Dave in his webs of fungus, leaving Kipo and Mandu to try to find a way to rescue them.

17. Wow, this episode has a lot of revelations, huh? Scarlemagne says that Dr. Emilia stole his pheromones to control the Mega Monkey and he’s asking the monkey if she wants to get her revenge on the doctor. But the monkey doesn’t seem so sure about it.

18. Kipo is trying to find Mulholland to plead for him to help them and he arrives really quickly lol. I guess that’s why he randomly showed up last episode. And just like that, Mulholland manages to save her friends by putting Fun Gus to sleep and feeding off his brain energy. Wait, why did they have to skip through so much? They didn’t show a bunch of things before this. Anyways, Mulholland is starting to find it difficult to hold him off for long.

19. Back to the flashbacks of Kipo’s parents and Kipo as a baby; They took a family selfie of the three of them and place the photo in between the pages of the journal. I reckon the photo is supposed to be Kipo’s anchor. They hear a knock on the door and they decide to split up to keep Kipo safe with Song staying behind to answer whomever is behind the door. I guess this is the last time she saw Kipo... ugh so sad.

20. Fun Gus isn’t so fun anymore (in fact, he’s really scary lol) but all of them manage to escape! Phew! Mulholland was really useful here and he tells them that he will be around to help them whenever they need him. After Mulholland leaves, Kipo is frustrated that she isn’t able to feel the anchor in the journal and throws the book towards the ground.

21. Wolf notices the family photo sticking out of it and hands it over to her. She gets emotional looking at it and feels that this photo is the anchor she needs. However, she realizes that there’s fur sticking out of her mom’s arm and it’s not jaguar fur. Oh snap! Her mom is the Mega Monkey! I kinda had a hunch that she was but I wasn’t so sure because didn’t she experiment with jaguar DNA on Kipo? I guess there might’ve been a mix-up? Also, does Lio know that his wife is the Mega Monkey? Again, why didn’t he tell Kipo the truth about her mom being part-mute too?

22. Meanwhile, the Nobles have surrounded the Mega Monkey aka Song and they start spraying the pheromones all around her. In the end, she gets mind-controlled again unfortunately. Wait wait wait....so does Dr. Emilia know that the monkey is Song all along? I guess not because she would’ve addressed her by her real name, no? But she’s been her experiment for 13 years; Couldn’t she have discovered that the monkey has had human DNA?

23. As Scarlemagne, the Nobles and Song are walking back to the Court (I assume), Kipo sees them and starts getting emotional, knowing that the monkey is most definitely her mother. And because of this, she transforms into a FULL-ON Mega Jaguar and runs after them. However, she left her anchor, the family photo and without it, she could get lost in her full form forever. So, the episode ends with Wolf, Benson, Dave and Mandu trying to catch up to her.

24. I just got chills y’all! OMG, this show is so good. I can’t believe the Mega Monkey has been Song all along! Although like I said earlier, I did think of that as a possibility before. And now, we have Kipo in her full Mega Jaguar form. This should be good but of course, she needs to keep her anchor with her at all times.

25. Thank you guys so much for reading my review of episode 6. I had such a blast. Stay tuned tomorrow for when I will post my review of episode 7. Till then, bye!

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