MAJOR Cannibalism TW
The journey across the Helcaraxe took far longer than the elves expected it to. They had nowhere near enough food, and even the elves need to eat. So they did what they had to do.
Fingolfin did what he had to do because he was stubborn.
Fingon does what he must because he has to survive long enough to see Maedhros again.
Turgon does what he must because he will not let his daughter be orphaned.
Galadriel does what she must because she still needs to punch Feanor in the face.
Argon and Elenwe did not live long enough to need another food source.
Glorfindel, half frozen to death himself from repeatedly diving into the frigid waters to rescue others, didn't even have the capacity to choose whether or not to take the actions he took until they had already begun, and once you start, you don't stop until there's a better option.
When it is finished, they will never speak of it again.
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Feanor's army is left without food a great many times.
Before the sun's first rise and set, the Feanorians have created a way to determine who lives and dies in times of starvation, and they too refuse to speak of what happened to their dead.
They refuse because Maedhros, for all his protest of killing other elves, was the first to slit the throat of the elf chosen to die.
They refuse because not even Maglor can bring himself to sing of this, and Maglor could sing of his own family dying.
They refuse because Caranthir, for all his brutality and cruelty, believes that they are wrong.
But most importantly, they refuse because the first elf they ate was Amrod.
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The second most important time the Feanorian army is left starving is in F.A 548. This is the event with the most guilt around it.
Survivor's guilt from Elrond, because for all intents and purposes, the stolen twins should have been the first to die.
Inequality guilt from Elros and Erestor, because they knew that they weren't going to be harmed and they did not step in to suggest something better.
Existential guilt from Maglor, because he cannot bring himself to think that this is their fault.
And the overwhelming, self-loathing guilt of Maedhros, because at the end of the long, bloody day, he knows he should have done something to stop this. To make sure two sixteen year old half-elves didn't have to choose between starving and sinning. To make sure his brother didn't have to make that decision for them. He should have done anything.
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By the late Third Age, the few elves who know all of what happened are together in a city. Odd behaviors surround them like shrouds, concealing a much darker past. The people of Imladris have learned not to try to pull back these shrouds.
They don't ask questions when the mere sight of a red drink forces Erestor to hide in his chambers and cry.
They don't ask questions when the mere sight of meat has a good chance of making sure Glorfindel won't be able to keep anything down for days.
They don't ask questions when a particular word or phrase has Elrond refusing any food altogether for days.
They don't question, because they don't want the answer. They don't want to know what can break a man like Erestor, who acts like a glacier made of intelligence. They don't want to know what makes a Balrog slayer feel sick. They don't want to know what manages to drive a perfect person like their lord to the brink of complete collapse.
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Wait, how is it that Legolas could walk over snow, yet fingolfin’s host had elves that fell through the ice when they were walking on the grinding ice?
And don’t say “magic” because i’m asking why it’s not consistent. Either elves are light enough or something to not fall into snow, much less ice, or they are heavy enough to fall through snow/ice.
I don’t care about the explanation, but it has to be either/or, or there needs to be a specific reason why one does work and the other doesn’t.
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Fëanor | Curufinwë & Sons of Fëanor, Celebrimbor | Telperinquar & Fëanor | Curufinwë
Characters: Fëanor (Tolkien), Maedhros (Tolkien), Caranthir (Tolkien), Sons of Fëanor, Celebrimbor (Tolkien)
Additional Tags: Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Good Parent Fëanor (Tolkien), (that does not stop him from making bad decisions)
Summary:
When an act of diplomacy manages to avoid a kinslaying, Nolofinwë is given the ships before Fëanáro. He promises to send them back after his people arrive in Middle Earth. Fëanáro doesn’t believe him, and, impatient to get to Beleriand and take back what’s his, leads his family and followers across the Grinding Ice.
It does not go well.
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