#the insurance on this place must be insane

[ameagrice]

Capsize

chapter eighteen | a dream is a wish your heart makes

percy jackson x fem reader

Talking to Annabeth once during the summer, when you’d been thinking four times as hard as you usually did, she told you things you hadn’t known before.

Children of Athena were born from the thoughts of the goddess. You weren’t born like normal children were—the knowledge of which made you literally scream over the phone. You were simply thought up, and into existence. This meant most children were claimed at birth. Some, like you, knew of their mother. They knew what they were (or at least that they were different), and upon arrival to camp would find it easy to be sorted into their cabin.

You hadn’t had a clue. Your dad never explained it (though for a guy always invested in insurance claims and telephone calls, you weren’t surprised). But you couldn’t help feeling left out. Your mother gave her other children signs. Annabeth was scared of spiders (the same way you were), but Athena had guided Annabeth to Luke and Thalia. Cora had heard her mother’s voice in her head telling her to run. You had traipsed through life of your own accord, standing up for yourself and doing what you had to. There had been no guidance there. At times, looking back, you guessed maybe you hadn’t felt totally alone in things. But that was as far as it went. Your claiming at camp was the first sign of recognition that she must have been watching at some point.

Your dad wasn’t the outwardly loving kind. In terms of affection, you’d get a phone call now and again in Yancy, or an email with a smiley face at the end. You appreciated it. You took it as it came. That didn’t mean there wasn’t a void that didn’t need some kind of filler. Your heart was drying out, bones screaming for some kind of something.

And then along came Percy.

And everything began to change.

It was just that sometimes, you wondered where your guidance from your mother was. You almost craved it the way an addict craved drugs.

Which was why when you set your sights on the kids in the corridor, and you heard a woman’s whisper in your head, a shiver ran up your spine, and you spun.

Turn around.

You jumped viciously, walking backward into the kids and pushing them behind you. Dr. Thorn waited at the end of the corridor watching; you’d thought he was distracted, but apparently your plan hadn’t worked well enough.

Survival instincts had been a crucial part of many events in your life.

And they were strong right now.

Your body buzzed with demigod instincts, ready to fight. You pulled your knife from your jacket. You’d chosen it for its hold, and the shininess of its bronze-like colour. If you could distract him, and get the kids out of the way, your best bet would be to aim straight for the heart. The weapon was so sharp the point hurt just to look at, and your aiming skills had progressed insanely.

You had no doubt you could pull this off.

“Um,” Bianca shook behind you. “What do we do now?”

“We fight!” Nico exclaimed. You watched Thorn closely, not paying much attention to Nico. “My Zeus card—”

“Be serious, Nico!”

“You guys run through those doors,” you mumbled. You felt shifting behind you, so you turned to watch the kids take off. 

You never would be able to fully explain what it felt like to be slammed against a wall, knocking all the oxygen from your lungs. It almost happened like a blackout, so quick you couldn’t even understand at first that nothing had been in place to put you there. You yelped, body smarting. Bianca and Nico had stopped, looking back at you for guidance, and the doors they’d been running for slammed closed. Pain exploded in your shoulder, clogging up your throat, squeezing your intestines into nausea. You swiped the air with your dagger, but nothing was there. Just the feeling of a cold, heavy hand pushing on the front of your body, keeping you in place.

Bianca looked at you in horror, and then to Thorn. You wished you could tell her it would be okay, but feared if you opened your mouth now the only thing to come out with be vomit. 

You shoved forward in an attempt to dislodge the foot-long black spike that struck through your jacket and pinned you in place. An awful burning was taking place across your shoulder, beginning to run down your arm, hot and painful.

Dr. Thorn moved before you could see him. He was closer now, and Nico and Bianca were huddled together not far away. Bianca had Nico at her front, arms protectively over his shoulder and crossed at his chest. Thorn still looked human, but his face was ghoulish, something from a halloween horror.

“Thank you for coming out of the gym,” he said crispy. His voice had a slight French accent. ”I hate middle school dances.”

Your right mind screamed what, been to a few? But your survival mind said ABSNDKFNEKDKL!!!

You kept silent as he grew closer. Your arm tingled horribly, the sensation of pins and needles if the pins and needles were really jabbing in to your skin. 

WHIIIISH! A second projectile shot from somewhere behind Dr. Thorn. He didn’t appear to move. It was as if someone invisible were standing behind him, throwing knives. In the dark hallway behind him, you searched for something that would tell you what was going on. 

Bianca suddenly screamed, a shrill, cold scream, and you dreaded the worst. You turned your head—she’d moved next to you, and the thing had hit the wall just centimetres from her head.

“All three of you will come with me,” Dr. Thorn said. “Quietly. Obediently. If you make a single noise, if you call out for help or try to fight, I will show you just how accurately I can throw.”

—

You really didn’t want to let the kids know you weren’t doing so great. But Bianca looked at you and her eyes went so round you thought they might pop out of her head.

You chastised yourself mentally, nauseously.

Oooo, well done, idiot. Yeah, let’s run off without the others. You’re so smart. Definitely a child of Athena.

You walked down the halls, and wondered how on earth you were going to get somebody to help you. You’d come pretty much defenceless, you were hurt, and nobody knew where you’d gone. The four of you walked and walked, and you were beginning to grow desperate.

Until a whistle caught your attention.

Thorn stopped instantly and turned like he was about to proclaim the worst news on earth. Except he looked positively murderous.

“Which one of you was that?”

You shook your head. Your stomach spun. “Not me. I feel like I’m dying.”

“My poison causes pain, not death. Now move.”

He turned and began leading you outside.

The path he lead you down was snow-leaden and slippery. Some sort of instincts made you want to reach out and take Nico’s arm; he slipped over and Bianca pulled him up right away, before Thorn could notice. But vomit was in your mouth now, and you couldn’t move your arm. It turned heavy, a weight, and hot like you were leaning on a heat lamp, still being jabbed by invisible pins. You couldn’t have lifted your arm if you tried.

The path was dimly lit with old-fashioned lamps, casting a golden glow, and making the snow glitter. It would have pretty, you wished it was pretty. But truth was you were most likely walking to your death lest your friends came to the rescue. And, looking behind you, seeing nothing but dark woodlands, the chances were looking slim. 

“There is a clearing ahead,” Thorn announced. “We will summon your ride.”

You blinked. “What ride?” you tried to be brave, but really there was acid running up your oesophagus. “Where are you taking us?”

“Silence, you insufferable girl!”

“Don’t talk to her that way!” Nico’s voice quivered, small and childish. He was clearly very scared. But brave. 

Thorn made a growling noise. It sounded anything but human. Anything you tried now would be an attempt in vain. With your arm now turning numb and heavier, unable to move it, and two kids in front of you in your care, you began to let yourself panic. At first it was easy to hide your fear, but nobody had so much as followed you out here. 

You had led these kids right to their deaths. 

“Halt.”

In front of you was the edge of a cliff. It was jagged and uneven toward the end. Waves crashing and roaring could be heard. It smelled of sea salt and seaweed. 

Thorn pushed you first, a firm hand between your shoulders. Only then, after turning numb, did you feel an awful prickling feeling, the worst feeling you’d ever felt, across your upper body. You looked at your hand, something you’d only just thought of:

It was purple. Your hand was purple and swelling, and if your hand was, so was the rest of your arm. 

You gagged. 

Bianca gazed at you, looking concerned. You wanted to laugh. The roles were reversed here.

“You okay?” She asked. 

You nodded. Barely. 

“What is he?” 

You blew air from your cheeks. Your hair whipped every which way. “Honestly--”

“I’m scared,” Nico mumbled. Your heart ached.

“Stop talking!” Thorn bellowed. The three of you shut up. “Face me.”

You never had liked taking orders. Being told what to do and just doing it was not in your nature. Everything in you yelled fight back!!!

You glanced to the side. Waves still roared. 

“I dare you, daughter of Athena,” Thorn drawled. “Save yourself.”

How did he know?...

“What did he call you?”

“It’s an extremely long story, dude.”

“I would kill you before you even reached the water,” Thorn continued. “You do not know who I am, do you?”

Were you supposed to?

Something whizzed past your ear--another missile-thing. It flew so close that you jumped, and right into its line. It caught your ear as it passed, and you were left trying to hold down the next set of vomit. 

But something distracted you very, very quickly: a tail. A tail. 

You’re shitting me. 

“Unfortunately, Thorn said, “you are wanted alive, if possible. Otherwise you would already be dead.”

“Who wants us?” Bianca demanded. “Because if you think you'll get a ransom, you're wrong. We don't have any family. Nico and I...” Her voice broke a little. “We've got no one but each other.” 

“Aww,” Dr. Thorn said. “Do not worry, little brats. You will be meeting my employer soon enough. Then you will have a brand-new family.”

Employer? You racked your brain for the only person you figured could be behind this form of kidnapping. The only demigod who had turned, who wanted monsters at his side. 

“Luke Castellan,” you realised. “You work for Luke, don’t you?”

“You have no idea what is happening, daughter of Athena. I will let the General enlighten you. You are going to do him a great service tonight. He is looking forward to meeting you.”

Horror filled you. Those words could mean anything. You had to fight back somehow. You physically couldn’t...

It started with your attitude. 

“The General?” you mimicked in a terrible, off-putting French accent. “Oh, so scary. Just explain, already.”

“I think he will enjoy killing you, first,” he tilted his head. Goosebumps ran up your spine. “He does not have want for those who defy.”

In the distance, you could hear the turning of a helicopter and wondered just where the hell this guy planned on taking you. It hit you, all of a sudden, the determination to look after these kids. Strong in your heart. Your eyes didn’t move from Thorn. And his eyes didn’t move off of you. 

“Where are you taking us?” Nico asked.

“You should be honoured, my boy.  You will have the opportunity to be a part of a great army, just like that silly game you play with cards and dolls.”

“They’re not dolls! They’re figurines!” Nico spat. “And you can take your great army and sho--”

“Now, now,” Dr. Thorn warned. “You will change your mind about joining us, my boy. And if you do not, well...there are other uses for half-bloods. We have many monstrous mouths to feed. The Great Stirring is underway.”

The Great Stirring? Your first thought was a pot of homemade soup, and your dad’s wooden cooking spoon engraved with World’s Worst Cook! But figured now was not the time.

It did, however, help you to keep it in mind.

“What does that mean?”

“The stirring of monsters.” Dr. Thorn smiled evilly. “The worst of them, the most powerful, are now waking. Monsters that have not been seen in thousands of years. They will cause death and destruction the likes of which mortals have never known. And soon we shall have the most important monster of all—the one that shall bring about the downfall of Olympus!”

“Alright,” Bianca whispered. “He’s totally nuts.”

Anything to calm her nerves. “He’s totally on drugs. Probably Class A’s.”

“Class A’s?” She frowned heavily. You felt your expression change, though you could not put a proper name to how you were feeling. Maybe confused? Who didn’t know what Class A’s were? Surely in a military school setting, these children had been taught about drugs? Hell, you knew what they were even before school. 

Something was wrong. 

And the need to run was getting stronger. 

“Listen,” you whispered. You eyed Thorn carefully; he was looking out at the sea, for something. “When I say go, we jump, alright?”

Bianca’s eyes went wide. “What?” she laughed under her breath. “Great. You’re nuts, too.”

You didn’t have any chance to argue with her. 

A sudden force plowed into you, knocking you down hard. Your arm was in so much pain that the increased flare of it stopped any sound coming out of your mouth. Bianca fell on to you, injured side, and Nico on top of her, like a car pileup. 

But the distraction turned Thorn towards you three, giving what seemed to be Thalia and Percy the chance to attack him. You’d say for certain, but the pain was so blinding with Bianca pushing on you to stand that your head swam, inner voice and thoughts diminished instantly. 

So what was the alarming thing to bring you back to your senses?

The way Dr. Thorn’s arm changed from a limb to bright orange, huge paw. A tiger’s paw. It slashed at Thalia while Percy swung his sword with an anger you’d never seen before. He caught the back of Thorn, and he let out a yell of pure fury. He swatted Percy backward, and he hit a tree. But Percy had gotten him, and black blood dripped quickly to the snow. 

Dr. Thorn launched another volley of missiles at Thalia. Ahh, you thought. That was how he did it. 

He had a tail—a leathery, scorpion-like tail that bristled with spikes at the tip. The missiles deflected off Thalia’s shield, Aegis, but the force of the impact knocked Thalia down.

Grover sprang forward. He put his reed pipes to his lips and began to play—a frantic jig that sounded like something pirates would dance to. Grass broke through the snow. Within seconds, rope-thick weeds were wrapping around Dr. Thorn's legs, entangling him. 

 Dr. Thorn roared and began to change. He grew larger until he was in his true form—his face still human, but his body that of a huge lion. His leathery, spiky tail whipped deadly thorns in all directions. 

 “A manticore!” Annabeth said. You hadn’t seen her appear, so out of it. Her invisibility hat lay next to you on the ground. With one hand, you tried to stand, slowly. 

“Who are you people?” Bianca di Angelo demanded. “And what is that?”

“An absolute bitch,” you groaned, finally standing. 

“A manticore!” Nico gasped. “He’s got three thousand attack power!”

Thalia was still fighting Thorn, in a back-and-forth match that seemed to go on. A figure behind Thorn, by the trees, caught your attention. Percy, you realised, almost forgetting that he was there.

While Thorn was distracted. 

In your weary state, arm feeling like it was no longer a part of your body, you didn’t recognise what was happening until it did. Percy sprinted over to you, almost sliding off the edge of the cliff. You practically collapsed on him, hating yourself for this. 

“Hey, let me see. Dude, I swear if you don’t give me your arm.”

“Can’t even feel it at this point,” you mumbled. Percy grabbed you and with your good hand you swatted at him. 

“Oh. Oh. Ew. Dude. What are your thoughts on limb loss?”

“Don’t say that!” 

“It’s blue!”

Thalia seemed to be yelling at Thorn. The Di Angelos looked terribly alarmed. Thorn was shooting spikes this way and that, and Grover was desperately trying something. At your side, Annabeth patiently (if not a tad worriedly) tried to take to the kids.  

Behind you, the sound of the helicopter was much, much louder. Your hair began to blow violently, and then you knew: it was right there. 

Annabeth yelled. Thalia was on the ground, defeated, watching dazedly. Grover lay, eyes closed, in the snow. Thorn prepared to shoot. And Percy dropped you instantly. Your knees hit stones. 

Percy skidded to his own knees when you did, in front of Thalia, shield raised. 

Thorn laughed cruelly. “You are defeated, half-bloods. Give in.”

He went to strike. 

A hunting horn blew and rang in your ears. Everyone fell silent, watching; waiting. Thorn turned his head slowly in the direction of the horn. 

“No. It can’t be--”

His sentence was cut short when something shot toward him like a streak of moonlight. A glowing silver arrow sprouted from Dr. Thorn's shoulder. He staggered backward, wailing in agony.

Your hair whipped about, knees smarting. The helicopter lights lit up the area. 

“Curse you!” Thorn cried. He unleashed his spikes, dozens of them at once, into the woods where the arrow had come from, but just as fast, silvery arrows shot back in reply. It almost looked like the arrows had intercepted the thorns in mid-air and sliced them in two. You watched, captivated. No one, not even Apollo's kids at camp, could shoot with that much accuracy.

The manticore pulled the arrow out of his shoulder with a howl of pain. His breathing was heavy. Percy swiped his sword, but Thorn wasn’t so taken aback as to be unaware of his surroundings. He knocked Percy aside.

“The Hunters!” Annabeth called, amazed. 

Finally, you felt. Someone’s here to save us all.

“Permission to kill, my lady?” About a dozen girls came from the woods, armed with silver, heavy-looking but slim bows and arrows, all glinting and shiny. This one girl at the front held her weapon at the ready, armed well on Thorn. 

When you first started out at camp, the idea of killing anything was wildly disgusting. Now, though?

Kill him. Get it over with. 

“This is not fair! Direct interference! It is against the Ancient Laws!” Thorn roared.

“Not so,” a girl who looked younger than you spoke confidently but coolly. She had bright auburn hair and fair skin, bright eyes. “The hunting of all wild beasts is within my sphere. And you, foul creature, are a wild beast. Zoe, permission to kill.”

Thorn growled. “If I cannot take one alive, I will take them dead!”

It happened before you saw it coming. Thorn leapt at you, and you both tumbled in the snow. He was so much bigger than you, and with your arm the way it was, you could nothing but try to pry him off you with your free hand, kicking violently. You screamed and he yelled, spit flying. You were so close to the edge of the cliff. Your heart dropped. 

The others around you screamed and shouted. 

Thorn was thrown off course. You lay on your front, hands flat in front of you, holding yourself up as much as you could while gasping for breath, as someone was on his back. Annabeth.

Her blonde braids whipped her face, but it didn’t put her off. She jabbed Thorn with a knife, and he let out the most unhuman sound ever heard. 

“Get back, half-blood! Get out of the line of fire!”

“Fire!” Zoe ordered. 

“No!” Percy. 

Arrows flew. They caught Thorn in the chest, and one in the back of the neck, missing Annabeth by inches. He turned terrifyingly fast, visibly angry, growling. “This is not the end, Huntress! You shall pay!”

And, at the edge of the cliff, Thorn fell backward off of it, plummeting to the sea and rocks. You heard a scream--was it you? You’d reached your hand out at some point. 

Annabeth went with him. 

Thalia and Percy Grover rushed to the edge, too close. 

Above you, a boom sounded. Looking up, all you were witness to was a flock of black birds flying off, the helicopter gone. 

And then there was silence.

The one called Zoe spoke first. “You,” she seethed. 

You managed to roll over, sitting up. Your pants were soaked with snow. 

Your fault. Your eyes drifted to Percy still sat at the edge, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, just watching the water below. Your fault.

“Zoe Nightshade,” Thalia’s voice shook with anger. “Perfect timing, as usual.”

Zoe scanned the rest of you. “Five half-bloods and a satyr, my lady.”

“Ah, yes,” the younger girl said. Her own silvery eyes scanned the scene. “Some of Chiron’s campers, I see.”

“Annabeth!” Percy yelled over the edge. “You have to let us save her!”

“I’m sorry, Percy Jackson, but your friend is beyond help.”

Percy tried to get to his feet, face like thunder, but two of the Hunter girls held him down. Thalia watched Zoe with anger in every inch of her body. 

And that was when you noticed Grover. Your attention drawn solely to him. He was walking to you, mouth twisted sadly. He knelt beside you. 

“You okay?”

You barely nodded. 

“Can I?...” 

You wanted to say no. Having people start touching you was not on the agenda. But, like Percy had said, your hand was frozen-blue, veins pronounced and purple now. And Grover just wanted to help. 

You’d never much liked Grover. But things like these, kindness like this despite the past, put things into perspective. In the end, you were all fighting the same thing, working together. 

So, you could still feel iffy about him (and not even have to have him as a friend) but any help now would be beneficial for you. 

You said yes. Grover helped you to pull off your coat and sweater, leaving you in your tee. The wind bit your skin. As far as you could see, the poison had spread to your chest. 

You didn’t have a choice in the embarrassing thing to happen next:

Your eyes rolled back. 

And you fell unconscious. 

—

The sun warmed your skin. It wasn’t unusual for Australia, but considering the thermometer on the wall above the television told you it was into the hundreds, you were surprised you didn’t feel hotter.

“Your dad’s pretty cool.”

You jumped. Something nagged in the back of your mind.

“Yeah, he’s alright. Has his moments.” You answered without having to think, like it just came to you.

Turning your head to the side, you were surprised but also not to see an older boy lying on the opposite sofa, legs stretched and ankles crossed over the armrest. Sunlight passed through the mirrored wind chime in the window and sparkled lighter dots across his face, drifting this way and that gently with the wind from the fan on the wall.

His jaw was so sharp you swore it would have been able to cut your hand if you touched it. And his skin was so bronze, tanner than you knew somehow it had been for a while. His shirt rode up. Your stomach fluttered at the sight, and the boy grinned cheekily. You knew that smile.

Percy’s black hair was a mess, like he’d ran his hands through it. And those goddamn eyes, as bright as they could get, almost shone green. His arms settled behind his head, and some soft, calm Lofi music played from the radio on the black-tinted glass table between you both.

“I-uh—” you had to swallow before you choked on your words. “We should go to the beach before it gets too late.”

When you looked down on autopilot, able to feel everything like it was real life, your shirt slipped down, like you’d pulled it up a little beforehand. A loose, almost see-through white with tiny embroidered flowers in soft yellows and greens.

“I love you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. You blinked at the edge of the sofa, unable to move.

“Do you not always?” You weakly retorted, in an effort to not let on to how affected you were by his words.

You didn’t have time for his answer to reach you.

Because you woke up.

And everything came back.

So…what did y’all thing of that :\

I wrote part of this on my laptop and the last half on my phone whoops :D

Taglist:

@bl6o6dy @embersparklz @lilyevanswhore @rottenstyx @hawkeye12 @rory-cakes @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @marshmallow12435 @luckydragontriumph @lantsovheiress @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @bugsys-bubble @twsssmlmaa @gayandfairycore @padsfirewhisky

#capsize #percy jackson #pjo #leo valdez #annabeth chase #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #hoo #jason grace #nico di angelo #Percy Jackson x reader #pjo series #Leo Valdez x reader #pjo x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #percy jackson fics

[1800-needs-help]

thinking about millywood and how they WOULD be the two to canonically smash in trigun 98.

just thinking about how Milly (MY LOVE MY LIFE MY REASON TO BE <33333) just CARRIES that heavy ass weapon when no one else at the insurance place does. how she immediately believes that vash is THE Vash The Stampede without too much thought, other than the fact that he just responds to the name. how she's so willing to help literally anyone in need and does not care of the consequences (like her running through burning hot geysers to help save a runaway couple). how she cares so deeply about her friends that she was PISSED when Vash's actions led to Meryl sobbing her eyes out. and last but certainly not least, her fuckin CHEMISTRY with Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

When she saw a child trying to escape a group of men her IMMEDIATE course of action was to pretend to be pregnant with sextuplets and have Wolfwood be the father LMAOOOO. AND THEY PULLED IT OFF TOO. even after the whole episode was over, they still continued the joke of them being a married couple in a later episode.

Now to WW, who is just immediately buddy buddy with the trio as soon as he meets them and is insane in his own right. And yeah, you could argue Vash is crazy and weird and silly and goofy but like, he's a man that's not even a man technically. Vash is what, like 150 yrs old? (I can't remember) He is BOUND to not be alright. But WW is human and is going along with all the same batshit stuff Vash is involved with. which makes it worse, CAUSE WHY IS THIS MAN JUST CASUALLY GETTING IN GUN FIGHTS EVERY EPISODE HE'S IN LIKE HOMIE JUST SIT DOWN AND ENJOY SOME SOUP. He's only mildly normal when he's just chillin with Milly or Vash.

And idk what it is but his gentleness with Milly just kinda breaks me (maybe it's bc I too would like a giant woman to be my pretend ((REAL OH GOD REAL)) wife and be able to swing me around like a rag doll with the biggest smile on her face). He like shields her the best he can, he doesn't want to get her into whatever mess he's made by the end of the series and just tells her to stay put...and she listens and GOD. I was just so goddamn devastated. My heart broke with Milly's and I can only imagine the agony WW must have felt to leave her for the last time.

#THE LONG AWAITED POST GOD IM SO SORRY #the way i still feel so strong about them #i just wanna squish both of their cheeks #millywood #milly thompson #nicholas d wolfwood

[aalt-ctrl-del]

it is very concerning how that the general public forgets that the argument on "abortion" and "reproductive rights" isn't isolated to the topic of "baby in the womb doing stuff".

The whole encompassing topic of body autonomy doesn't start or end at "womb" or "fetus". Those are the buzzwords that republicans love to throw around to simplify the morbid truth of this weird control train. It's what republicans prop up like a cardboard placeholder for the submerged iceberg of everything that they want to control on the topic of body and reproduction autonomy.

And this goes for men too. I know my boys like to pretend that they republicans have no interest in the peepee gun. But the republicans also think condoms and male birth control are the devils work, because dem bois are still killing babies. So when they get done with the ladies, they'll be looking at us all.

Which ties to my next point, aside from birth control measures being removed because it 'kills babies'. The whole topic is a mess because republicans idea of saving babies is for women to get married ASAP and start having babies. Messy. Topic. Bat. Shit. Insanity.

What is more batshit insane than gutting production of birth control and contraceptives, is the general focus on anything to do with the uterus or the ovarian things. Because this is the massive, whole encompassing issue here. In red states, it is difficult if not impossible to get sterilization surgery, regardless the reason. Women and people with uteruses struggle to get healthcare in red states, when their biology connected to the uterus fucks up. Even if the procedure is something that will benefit their quality of life, such as the case of Menorrhagia, Endocrine, Ovarian cysts, and various other illnesses that incapacitate or cause general disruption in health in those with a uterus. Some chemical birth controls help with managing these disorders, but sometimes that isn't enough. Some people go for a hysterectomy, but that all depends. But all of this medical hippa and body autonomy is infringed upon by republicans and red states, under the guise of "Saving babies".

These republicans put the quality and safety of a damn organ, above the person mental and physical health. It's bizarre. It's sick. People with uteruses lose full jurisdiction to their body, because by religious and state ordinance, the body is not their own property. Not fully. The uteruses may not be full of oil, but the republicans sure as hell want to stake a claim in it.

The topic is not a clear cut of black and white, regardless how simple the republican smooth brain schemes tries to posture it. It's dehumanizing and frankly, dystopian. Topics of health and wellness should be governed by no more than two people - the doctor, and the person seeking medical assistance for their body. Governors, Supreme Court, House Representatives - none of those people in those districts have a place in body autonomy regarding a singular organ. They HR, SC, Congress, whoever - they can have discussions of healthcare and affordability and the insurance coverage (which is a fuking nightmare). But when it comes to procedures that people seek to amend personal health issues, they cannot be governed by anyone not privvy to that information.

But that's just a reminder to anyone who thinks "abortion has nothing to do with me because I cannot get preggos". You miss the point it wasn't about babies or pregnancy or protecting/saving anyone. It was about controlling body health and emotional welfare.

You go to the doctors one day because you have heavy bleeding, and you get the results back from tests letting you know "there's a large tumor on your fallopian tube and it needs to be removed." It's not a simple case of scheduling the procedure, even if you have the assets to get this done and insurance that can cover it. Because there's suddenly the possibility you're actually involved in a nefarious plan to kill a baby, and everything about this procedure must be approved by your very red state, just to be sure you're not a heathen. Insurance might not even have jurisdiction to cover it, since this is happening in a red state.

But that's the gist of reproduction rights and body autonomy. It's never been about babies or saving unborn children.

#roe v wade #roe versus wade #reproductive rights #body autonomy #republicans #red states #uterus #fallopian tube #ectopic pregnancy #Menorrhagia #Endocrine #Ovarian cysts #ovarian #cyst

[darthvaderofmiddle-earth]

I fucking hate the USA. So much.

My mother sent in paperwork weeks ago to the insurance company, stating that they had agreed to keep her covered while she was recovering and laid up from work.

Yesterday, our insurance company suddenly said they never received the paperwork that was faxed directly to them despite the fact that I had witnessed it being done so, and that the insurance was cancelled indefinitely.

Today, my tooth broke horribly and is super sharp and painful, it's scraping my cheek inside until I can't even talk without feeling pain, and I have a bad taste in my mouth from it. I am mid lupus flare, and my migraines are returning as a result. And the most agonizing thing of all is I have suddenly developed a fissure in my lower body and I am in such horrible agony that I cannot use the bathroom without screaming and crying.

And I can get help with none of this. All because the fucking insurance company probably threw aside the faxed documents and ignored them completely, and they're just sitting there in a pile or on a computer and will never be seen.

I am suffering. I am in severe pain in multiple places and it is actually making my life unliveable. I cannot do basic functions (use the bathroom, walk, eat). And there's not a damn thing I can do for this until the insurance company agrees to sign us back on, and there is legit no telling how long it'll be. Last time this happened, it was a full month we had to go without insurance. And apparently that's a short time.

Doctors will not and cannot see me because I am not covered by insurance, and therefore I am not permitted by their practices to be treated since having no insurance is a liability issue. If I managed to find a private practice primary care doctor, and oral surgeon, and rheumatologist, which is basically impossible on all accounts, my family would be shelling out literally hundreds of dollars for just one visit to each one where I'd have to go for even more expensive testing that would be tens of thousands of dollars, and none of it would even including the far more expensive meds that would be thousands of dollars each and I'd need at least 6 prescriptions covered. And my mom currently has to pay off the insane hospital bills and surgery bills and helicopter medivac ride bills, the last of which isn't even covered by insurance despite the fact that it was necessary for her life to be saved. So there is no money for uninsured doctor visits.

American healthcare is a Godsforsaken scam that fucking kills people. I'm not even making that up. Doctors here admit insurance companies exist to scam you out of your money. And it's illegal to not have health insurance. And having no health insurance means no care which means death. If you do have health insurance then it means you're denied care and coverage and limited on where you can go for any appointments and what steps you must take to get an appointment, the steps of which each require increasing copays just to be told you have to find another type of doctor, and pay them a copay for them to say the same thing, and it keeps going until the issue is so bad you wind up in the hospital. If you don't know what you're doing when finding doctors and filling out paperwork and signing documents for things regarding health and treatment, you're scammed out of literally hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Insurance companies are bullshit. They will profit off you, then refuse to benefit you in any way, and then take away all medical resources for stupid reasons without notice, literally leaving you to suffer and die without care.

Fuck the USA.

[projectcaramel]

Saccharine (14) - Satan x F!Reader x Lucifer

“Eh? What’re ya askin’ me for?” the white-haired demon hisses, glancing around as if he’ll be assaulted by one of the demons currently debating over whether you would rather listen to an orchestra piece or a cursed record. 

“Because Lucifer dotes on you,” you reply as you hand him the ticket. “And because you wouldn’t fall for a bookworm like me.” 

“Dotes? Have you gone insane or somethin’?” 

“Maybe,” you chuckle. “I did scold both of them a few times. But regardless, the voucher holds true. If they start fighting, you get in the middle of it. And don’t worry; I’ll do my best to help.” Mammon groans. 

“Fine. I’ll do it. Not like I have a choice anyway.”

“Thank you,” you reply. “Hopefully, it’s just insurance, but...”

“I get it, I get it. Go sweet-talk ‘em or whatever.” Mammon pushes you back towards the boys, and you nod slightly before you rejoin the pair, who are still debating over what you should listen to. At once, you swipe Satan’s symphony and Lucifer’s glass before you take a seat and beckon them to join you. 

“Wow this is bitter,” you remark as you take a sip of Lucifer’s demonus. “Satan have you had this?” You offer him the glass, and he stares at the rim for a long moment before he eventually takes it. 

“I haven’t, no,” he replies before he takes a sip from the same spot you did and grimaces. 

“Is it really that horrible?” Lucifer mutters before he takes the glass back and turns it around to the other side. 

“...That’s not my issue,” Satan grumbles, annoyed as he covers his face, and you have the intense feeling that he’s irritated because he likes the same vintage Lucifer does. “Well, anyway, here.” Satan takes one of the books he brought and opens it to the title page. Josephine, it says.

“Where do you even find these books?” you ask with a laugh as you see the publisher and the date. It was published some thousands of years ago. 

“It was a present,” Satan replies, seeming embarrassed.

“I don’t care if you bought it yourself; it’s beautiful,” you reply, even as you set the book on your lap and open to the first page. “So is the music you picked. Thank you, Satan.” That sends him grinning pretty quickly. 

“I’m glad you like them. Oi, don’t let him turn the page.” You glance at Lucifer, who had reached over to turn the page. 

“It’s the least I can do,” he tries.  

“You read too fast!” Satan retorts hotly. “The last time you were page turner, you spoiled the plot for me!” 

“Sorry... my bad.” You can help but laugh a little to yourself, and you feel both boys staring at you as you do so. “What? Do you find the idea of me apologizing that funny?” 

“No,” you reply as you look down at the book. “It’s just nice to know that you two spend time together after all.” Lucifer and Satan look at each other for a moment, then at you. 

“Well, we are family,” Satan replies eventually, and Lucifer’s eyes turn to him again for a moment before he smiles to himself. 

“Yes, we are,” he replies, even as he reads the book with you and Satan, thankfully abstaining from turning the pages, although you see his fingers twitch a few times. You get so into the novel that you don’t notice the weight against your shoulder until you finish the sixth chapter. You glance over to see Lucifer fell asleep there, his breathing soft and regular. 

“Wow,” you mumble. He really must have been exhausted to fall asleep long before 11 PM. Well, of course he would be worn out—between the whole Paladire fiasco, the Prism event and his other duties, he had his hands overfull. His head was heavy. 

“Hey,” Satan says, turning your attention away from Lucifer’s lapsed guard, and you find yourself hoping that he’s not going to suggest pranking his older brother. “I didn’t ask about it earlier, but what were you talking about with Mammon?” You glance at Satan, surprised that he was paying attention in the first place. 

“Ah... I just told him to...” You hesitate. Wouldn’t it be better to have Mammon’s intervention to be a surprise? Were you thinking too hard? “I just told him to step in if you and Lucifer got into a fight.” 

“...seriously? That’s all it was?” Satan asked before he groaned and covered his face with his hands. “I got worried over nothing...”

He seriously thought I’d go for Mammon? Is he insecure or does he just not know me well? 

“I like both of you. A lot,” you say as you pat his back. “Don’t shorten your life.” He glances at you before his cheeks flush, and it seems like he’s internally screaming. “Satan?” 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I’m really trying to stop myself from kissing you right now.”

<;< Previous

#update #lucifer x reader #satan x reader #obey me! #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #fanfiction #writing #romance #obey me shall we date

[throwawaytumble]

Kind of off topic, but why did you retire from pediatric oncology? Why did you take getting a therapist so seriously specifically because of the job? What is better about teaching art? I'm going to be a junior in high school and am considering going to medical school when I graduate.

Before I answer your question, I want to make it clear that I loved pediatric oncology and if I were to travel back in time and be given the option to go immediately into being an art professor or doing pediatric oncology first, I would do pediatric oncology first again. Changing your mind about what you want to do or what you enjoy later in life does not negate the importance and fulfillment of your at-the-time focus. This is why I am dismissive towards "but it's just a phase!" comments.

Anything in the medical field - any position at all - comes with a high amount of stress. Whether you are a custodian or a neurosurgeon, whether you do desk and paperwork or work nightshifts in the ER, when it comes to the health, lives, and livelihoods of others, it will take a toll. Janitors having to mop blood and feces daily, dietary having to be aware of how certain medications affect digestion and each individual patient's dietary necessities and restrictions and allergies, nurses having to take the brunt of the emotional turmoil of a patient in severe pain, and receptionists having to deal with people angry at having to be in a hospital in the first place will take its toll on anyone. If you work in a medical facility at all I would suggest having a strong emotional support system with your loved ones and it is absolutely necessary for you to have a healthy work/life balance as well as set up boundaries. Despite this, the system absolutely expects you to prioritize your career because "this is life and desth" and "if you don't work sixteen hour shifts, the patients will suffer." I have personally seen the Head of Maintenance tell his employee that taking a week off to deal with the death of a parent would be tantamount to patient abandonment. Society also deems you as heroes, and not workers, so you're expected to care less about your bills because "you're not in it for the money" and are expected to put up with insane levels of overworking and abuse from other workers and your patients and patients' families because they want you to be superhuman. This is why it is essential for you to set up and maintain boundaries and be aware of how close you are to burning out as well as have emotional support from someone in your life. The closer you are to dealing with patients, the more I would suggest you seek therapy.

As a pediatric oncologist, I dealt with children dying consistently. I dealt with grieving and scared family members. Radiation and chemotherapy is no walk on the park, so even those that survive have difficulties. You will have to go from holding the hand of someone as they die, or have a parent threaten to kill you because their child passed, and then two minutes later perform a puppet show for the balding child two doors down. For me, if a child was going to die, I got fulfillment in helping them live each day to its fullest, focusing on their quality of life, and making sure they experienced as much love as possible. For those who survived, I got fulfillment in helping them get better, as it were. Blood, gore, mucus, vomit, feces, urine, the smells of sickness and medications, etc didn't bother me. It did, however, get emotionally taxing to a degree, but I kept my work/life balance and boundaries in good shape.

That being said, it is still a lot to handle and take in while also having to deal with the entitlement hospitals have towards staff, workplace politics, and the absolute cut throat competition of other coworkers, the legal ramifications of filed grievances, complaints, and allegations, and the psychopaths that medical field attracts. If you are going to become a doctor, it was an absolute MUST that you get malpractice insurance. If you genuinely believe you'll never make a mistake, or if you shut down when you do make a mistake, it is not the profession for you. There will be a time that you see the symptoms, signs, and tests and have no idea why they are at those levels, or what could possibly be causing it. There will be a time you make an avoidable mistake, which i cannot emphasize enough. I've met many doctors who went into the profession accepting they'd make unavoidable one, but not avoidable ones. It is impossible not to. You will not see a symptom when you ought to have, or you will misdiagnose, or offer a medication that makes a symptom worse. There will be people who you can absolutely save but refuse to listen to you, those who have a 98% survival rate who pass away suddenly, those who are on death's door and have little to no chance of survival and end up surviving despite the odds, people who absolutely could have survived but stubbornly will not listen to you, etc. That, I could also handle.

But eventually, the sixteen hour (or more) days, guilt tripping from coworkers, management, patients, and patients' families when I took a two week vacation, working twenty-one days with no day off, the expectation that I be with everyone everywhere at all times outweighed the fulfillment I got from my patients, who I absolutely loved. And so I decided to pursue another career. And yes, when a doctor retires or quits, there are people who will call you selfish for giving up on saving lives.

I remember the moment I decided I was ready to move on from oncology. One day, a mother was angry with me because her child went into remission - which was fully expected - and she kept demanding to know what she was supposed to do now. Sometimes sickness can become patients' and families' identity, so this wasn't the first time, but earlier that week a former patient had seen me at the store and had been upset I hadn't integrated myself into their post-care lives. That was also common. When you see people at their most vulnerable and intense emotional moments, they will form attachments. As a professional boundary, I do not put myself into the personal lives of any of my patients (and now, my students.) While at work I will discuss their hopes, dreams, memories, but when I am not working, I think it's best to separate that from my home life. For me, I work best with my patients when I see them as patients, even though I am incredibly friendly and invested in them while with them. Sometimes they want to take the patient/doctor relationship and then it into something more familial, but I have no interest in that.

I had kept up with my art throughout the years, and eventually I realized I was treating it less like a hobby and getting more fulfillment from it than being a doctor. One day it sort of clicked that I wanted to teach art (not long after I realized I admitted I was no longer happy being a pediatric oncologist) as I was helping a preteen patient of mine shade shapes for homework.

Sorry for the lengthy reply as well as how long it took me to get around to answering!

#answered asks #Medical professions

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and The Death Angel Part 36

Series Masterlist

Part 35

Contains: Fluff, angst, loosely follows the plot of episode 2x08 - 3x10

6.7K words

Comment if you want to be tagged or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

To Ireland we go.

"We're here safe."

You breathed a sigh of relief, "Jax just texted, they've landed and are in Belfast without any trouble."

Ima put her hand over her heart, "thank God, I'll check my phone, Sam would have texted." Sure enough, there was a short text from Sam.

"How's your tattoo healing?"

She flashed you her arm, "sore but nothing I haven't been through before, Sam still keeps asking to see it."

You laughed, "Jax was the same, it was like trying to keep a little kid away from his birthday presents."

She giggled, "I'm kinda glad he's not here, I got sick of telling him that he couldn't look at it."

You shook your head, "you wanna come with me to get Kip out of the hospital? They're only keeping him there for the insurance."

She nodded and grabbed her keys, "I'll drive." She put the local radio station on for the ride. As you were about to comment on one of the stories, another came on.

"This just in, Jacob Hale has launched his bid for mayor against the town favourite Elliot Oswald."

Ima blinked in shock, "did I just hear that right?" You turned the radio up and waited for the presenter to continue, "he's running on the basis of small business first and is looking to bring Charming into the luxury housing market."

"You did. I don't know if he knows this but the whole town hates him."

She turned into St Thomas' parking lot, "his rich developer friends don't."

"Hey Kip, we're breaking you out of here."

He smiled, "thank God, this place is driving me insane." You helped him up while Ima went to get some help and an hour later you were driving him back to T-M after dropping Kip home.

****

"So who's been left behind?"

You had dropped Ima at work on the way so it was just you, "Tig, Piney and Kozik, all the others are in Belfast."

He nodded, "do you know if they've found Jimmy yet?"

You shook your head, "all Jax told me was that they were there safe, I don't know anything after that. He said he called once they were settled. I need to go get my stitches out but I'll be back afterwards and we'll talk more then."

You were just getting done with the doctor when Jax called, "hey Darlin."

Something was wrong, "You can't hide shit from me Teller, what happened?"

Jax laughed, "we almost got sent back home by a group of dirty cops."

"Jimmy?"

He made an affirmative grunt, "can I ask you a question?"

His tone was unsure, there was more than just one thing wrong, "sure my love, is something on your mind?"

You heard him inhale, "could you tell if I was related to someone by just a photo?"

You blinked, "if they were a very close relative maybe, but do Sam and I look like siblings?"

There was an exhale, "not even a little, can I send you those photos anyway?"

"Well you keep telling me so it must be true." The photos came through soon after, with a short text from Jax.

"Sure beloved, get a few from different angles and maybe give me some more context than just that you think you've got a cousin you didn't know about."

He laughed, "done. You're great, did you know that?"

"Her name is Trinity, she looks like dad and she's twenty-two, with the way her mother Maureen and Gemma were talking, I think something's up. He was over there a lot when Maureen would have been pregnant."

You looked over the photos, there was no doubt in your mind that this woman was Jax's half-sister. Of course you called him, "hey." He knew by your tone what you were going to say, "I'm really sorry beloved."

"Are you sure?"

He sounded very upset, "sure enough to tell you to start digging." There was a laboured breath across the line, "you know you're mum, she would know if John was stepping out on her. Start there, then ask Maureen. I think talking to Trinity outright might not get you anywhere because they would have kept this whole thing under wraps."

You could hear him moving around like an anxious animal, "what do I do?"

You took a deep breath, "I know this must feel like a terrible betrayal from your father but if it's true, you've gained a little sister. It's no comfort but there might be a whole another person who's in your corner and that's a good thing."

"I love you too."

There was a soft chuckle, "you always know what to say."

Before you could reply, you heard someone yell his name, "got to go Darlin, I love you."

Jax walked out of the bedroom to the table full, "sit down son, we've got a lot to talk about."

Jax sat at the table, full of the Belfast charter, "Jimmy'o is in the wind, the Irish kings are ready to give the green light but we need to find him first."

Jax shook his head, "why do we have to deal with this? How can we even trust you, O'Neil was on the phone with him telling us lies."

The room was getting icier, "I had no idea that Cammy was here, that lie is on Jimmy."

Jax sucked on his tongue, "sure. No one answered my question, why does this fall on us?"

McGee seemed annoyed, "we're too close to this, Belfast is still a war zone. If we kill Jimmy, our whole chapter will be dead within the month."

Jax threw his hands up in the air, "so what, we find him, question him then do him?"

McGee gave an affirmative grunt, "that's the plan." The table went from there, talking about their operation and then the priest was brought up Kellan Ashby.

If the room was icy before, it was like the arctic right now. "That won't be necessary Sam, we'll talk to this priest and go from there." Clay took in Sam's cold expression, he had no doubt in his mind Sam was telling the truth.

"He'll know more, the kings take his word as gospel."

Sam had sat there silent the whole time, when he spoke, his voice was short, bordering on frightening. "So Jimmy tries to steal the guns out of under this charter, he's on the run and you want us to talk with a priest. Why aren't the kings who missed his bullshit here talking to us? It's their problem. Hell, you say the word and I'll have my guys do him in and we won't have to get our hands dirty."

****

The yelling got worse, "will you two shut the fuck up and get back to work. For shit's sake guys, some of us are trying to pick up the slack, it would be good if you could help out." Tig walked back into the garage shaking his head and Kozik was too scared to meet your eye.

"What the fuck is wrong with the two of them?"

Chucky shrugged, "judging by the level of animosity, there's got to be at least on vagina involved."

You chuckled, "very shrewd Chucky, very shrewd."

"Thank you."

You turned to Chucky, "I'll check the dorm to see if the receivables are there, we're in for a long day Chuck." You were walking out of the Clubhouse when Lyla drove up.

"Hello, what brings you by?"

She smiled softly, "I thought we could all put on dinner while the guys are away, just us girls and the kids?"

You nodded, "great idea, my place?"

You both sat on the picnic bench, "yep. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

She seemed worried, "what going to happen when they guys go inside?"

You shrugged, "I have no idea, Opie will be here so you won't be alone but I think it's all going to pan out in the end. What's got you so worried?"

"Opie been talking about kids and getting married."

You nodded, "and you don't want another kid with a man who could get his brains blown out and leave you with four children to look after on your own?"

"Thanks. I guess we've got a dinner to plan." You nodded and was gone.

She breathed out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "yep."

You put a hand on hers, "talk to him, say just that and if he doesn't understand that then he's not the person for you. He's a good man Lyla, he's just got a lot of shit he needs to work through. All you can do is be honest with him."

You were about to head to the store when Darby showed up, "what the fuck do you want?"

He raised his hands, "I just want to talk."

Upon seeing him, Tig and Kozik walk up, "about?"

You jutted your hand out, "no Tig. I don't give a shit what he want. I want myself a Nazi scalp to hang on my wall, you want it to be yours?"

Darby swallowed, "it's about Jacob Hale."

You huffed, "fine, but if it involves you, I imagine it's criminal, we should get Unser or his brother here." To your surprise, there was no dissent.

Hale was there far quicker than you thought he'd be, "what did my brother do this time?"

You rubbed your face, "I don't know, ask the Nazi scum currently wasting my air."

Hale smiled gently, "please y/n can you cool it for just a little while and hear him out."

You threw your hands up in the air, "he has five minutes and if he's wasted my time, I'll shoot one of his knee caps off."

Tig hid a laugh, "done." You all sat down. Darby's eyes never left your hands, he was clearly terrified of you.

"Your brother just handed me an envelope of cash and asked him to get rid of Lumpy so he could buy the building."

You shook your head, "well I just won a bet." Tig looked confused, "I bet Jax that Hale would try something else and I was right. We can't do anything until we know the full story. What exactly did he say to you?"

"That his investor friends needs the lot and Lumpy was the last one holding out, he wanted me to get rid of him."

David was getting angrier and angrier, "did he say the cash was for getting rid of Lumpy?"

He shook his head, "no, he said it was a small business loan."

"Ok, no one is going to do anything." You pointed to Hale, "we can't do anything until we know all the facts, no one's going to say anything and Mr Darby is going to act like he's going to go along with it. You're going to warn Lumpy and then you're going to press Hale for more information and we'll go from there. If we want to get anywhere, we need dirt on this investor as well."

The table was quiet, "fine, but don't expect him to tell me anything."

You were getting sick of his voice, "I don't know why you're here, whether the fire that burnt you got you a little too close to hell and you want to make amends but I don't care, you'll get that information if you have to lie and cheat to get it."

He took a deep breath, "I know why you hate me, you have every right to but I'm trying to change, I'm trying to do the right thing."

You shook your head, "you are incapable of doing the right thing. Is there a reason you've had a come of Jesus moment or is this just a rat jumping off a sinking ship?"

Another deep breath, "when I was in the hospital one of my workers came to see me every day. She had no reason to, considering she knew what I was but she still showed up."

He went to continue but you cut him off, "so you love her like a monster loves a songbird, not for what she is but for what she did for you and you think that makes you worthy of redemption. Come back when you've actually done something."

****

Hale's eyebrows went up, "call me when you have more information."

He and Darby left, leaving you to continue planning with Tig and Kozik, "that was really scary."

You patted him on the shoulder, "thanks Herman."

"Jimmy doesn't tell me anything anymore, I have no idea why he lied."

Chibs was had his hand on Fiona's back, while the other listened to her. "Do you at least know what he's been up to since he got back?"

They were being rushed off soon after but with some pushing from the guys, they managed to get a ride with Chibs' family back to the church.

She huffed, "recruiting, he's at his bar pretty much every day and night."

Jax nodded, "what about O'Neil, is he on Jimmy's payroll?"

She shook her head, "not that I know of."

****

"Hey y/n."

You walked into the office, "yeah."

Tig smiled and put the phone down, "that was Darby, Lumpy knows Hale's gunning for him, he's closing up for a few days just to be safe.

****

You nodded, "ha, he came through. I'm still waiting on word from my guy about Hale's friends." You took a deep breath, "this guy can't become mayor Tiggy, he will ruin this town before his term is over and we will never recover."

He nodded, "I know, we'll fix it."

"All the way down here, I was holding onto hope that you were wrong about Trinity but one look."

Maureen nodded, "she's got his eyes and his smile."

Gemma looked down at the table, "did he know?"

She nodded, "yes."

"Jesus Christ."

Maureen crossed her arms, "I was eighteen, I didn't know what I was doing, neither did he. Look I have no delusion about you me and being friends. I just think a lot of hate right now is no good for anybody. This shit between us, it needs to stay buried."

"Too late."

Jax rounded the corner, his posture stiff, "how long have you been standing there?"

He shrugged, "long enough."

There was a cold chill to the air, "I can explain."

He waved his hand, "don't mum. Does Trinity know?"

Maureen shook her head, "no, she doesn't. She thinks her father died in Lebanon."

Jax huffed, "who else knows?"

Maureen got stiff, "just my brother, he won't tell a soul."

He shook his head, "tell her by the time we leave or I will." Jax walked away in a rage, leaving Gemma and Maureen to deal with the fallout.

Jax felt angry more than lost, his mother knew his father was cheating on him and kept it a secret. He was a little hurt, Gemma told him everything, he couldn't understand why she kept something so huge from him.

"He reminds me of John."

Gemma huffed, "I know."

"Hey darlin."

Jax knew you would know what to say, "hey my love, I'm guessing by the way you sound you know for sure?"

He took a deep breath, "yeah, mum knew and she never said anything. I've told them if they don't tell Trinity by the time we leave, I'll tell her. I know it's not my place but she should know the truth."

"You are very noble Jackson, it's admirable."

His breath stuttered, "so you think I did the right thing?"

His voice was cracking, "yes Jax, I do. I still can't imagine how hard this must be for you, finding out your dad wasn't the person you thought you knew."

"Why didn't Gemma tell me? She kept my sister from me."

You could hear he was on the verge of tears, "when you were little, who was your hero?"

You knew the answer, "my dad."

Jax smiled, "she didn't want that to change Jax, she wanted you to remember your father as the man you thought he was not who she knew him as. You have every right to be angry but she was trying to spare you more pain."

"I would be lost without you."

You chuckled, "nah, you'd be fine."

You could almost hear him shaking his head, "nope, I'd be lost and so would everyone else. How are things over there?"

"I won our bet. Hale is trying to get Lumpy to give up his gym so he can buy the space."

Jax huffed, "what are your winnings going to be?"

You smiled, "well since you never got to attend one of my practical lectures, I'd like to tie you up. With your consent of course."

He chuckled, "whatever you want Darlin."

"Oh, he's great. His face has started to develop but his back teeth have only just started to come in so he looks like an old man without his dentures in and it makes me want to squish his little face. He's also taken to putting everything in his mouth and he's too young to understand what's food and what isn't so I have to watch him like a halk."

"Yay, I'm going to have so much…." You trailed off, "what is it?"

There was an unhappy noise coming from you, "Kip just walked into T-M after I told him to stay home and rest, I'm going to kill him."

Jax knew that tone, Half Sack was in for a mum lecture, "before you kill the guy, how's Abel?"

Jax was smiling ear to ear, "he also likes it when the dogs' tails hit him, which is really weird but I can't be bothered to step in because of his little baby giggle. He's a weird baby."

Jax laughed, "that's your fault for talking to him about science hippy stuff and not trucks and Harleys."

You giggled, "hey, I talk to him about bikes, so does Sam, he's just more interested in the history of sales tax. Don't think I don't know what you're doing, you're trying to make me all happy before I talk to kip so I don't kill him."

"Well I value your assessment. I'll let you go yell at Half Sack now. I love you Darlin."

Jax laughed, "you don't miss a thing, what do you think about the new prospects?"

There was a pause, "Phill is great, Miles is enthusiastic and friendly but Shepard won't last a month, he's a bit too flightly and he's got his head in the cloud and not in a good way."

****

"Love you too Jax." You put the phone down, stood up and walked over to the picnic tables. "What are you doing here young man?"

His eyes went wide, "I thought I told you to go home and rest." He looked over at the guys, "send him home now or I'll do it. I have shit to do, call me if anything comes up." You left soon after to start prep for the dinner you and the other women were putting on.

"How long are you gonna stay with the priest?"

Fionna huffed, "not sure."

Chibs was anxious, "listen, there's plenty of room on Russo's plane so you're coming back with us."

'I don't want to leave Ireland."

Chibs shook his head, "sweetheart, it's not for long, just until all this blows over."

The tires screeched as the van came to a stop, "what's he doing?"

"GET DOWN!" Sam threw himself on top of one of the girls, Jax diving down seconds after him as bullets hit the car. It didn't last long, maybe thirty seconds before the car drove off, "what the fuck was that, is everyone ok?"

They looked around, "yeah I think so."

An hour later, they were all at the table, "are the girls safe?"

Chibs nodded, "yeah, they're fine."

The mistrust between SAMBEL and SAMCRO was growing, "do you have any idea who the shooters are?"

Opie sounded like he had his suspicions, "it had to be Jimmy."

"No, it was the UVF. They're radical loyalists, this would have been about Fionna."

Jax shook his head, "so they gunned down women and children?"

O'Neil shook his head, "if they wanted to kill you, you'd be dead. Trust me on that, brother." No one believed the bullshit for a second but there was no way they could talk about that here, it seemed more and more that the whole charter was on Jimmy's payroll.

They parted soon after, with the SAMCRO guys back to the inn while the others went back to the Clubhouse. The conversation went around in circles about the plan, they had to get Jimmy back to the States without creating more problems but with how deep SAMBEL was it was looking less and less possible.

Sam nodded, "you are trust me. I don't know how much she's told you about our home life, but if we had a half-sibling around, we'd want to have a relationship with them. We're pretty sure we do but our father isn't going to tell us unless he needs something from us." Jax swallowed, you barely told him anything.

Sam had pulled Jax aside just as Clay went off about Mcgee, "you wanna tell me what's going on with your half-sister?" Jax's eyes went wide, "y/n didn't say anything, you don't think I've picked up some of her skills over the years?"

Jax smiled softly, "I have no idea what to do, your sister says I'm doing the right thing in forcing them to come clean."

"I'm really sorry you two went through that."

Sam shrugged, "ehh, it's ok. We don't have contact with the man and as far as my sister's concerned, he's dead, I'm sure you'll get to meet him one day when he needs someone to bail him out, or give him a chunk of liver."

****

Jax huffed, "he better hope not."

Sam put a hand on his shoulder, "come on, we could use your input on the plan for the gun run."

"This better be good Tiggy, Abel's just discovered to joy of jello and I don't want to miss the mess he's going to make."

Tig laughed, "Darby's back, he got more info from Hale." Tig sounded optimistic, "Hale's buddy works for a company out of LA that builds huge developments, we're talking whole suburbs. He wants those shops to make a new mall."

"Ok great, I'll pass the guy's name onto my guy and we'll go from there. Did Darby say if Hale bought it?"

Tig huffed, "hook, line and sinker, he has no idea we're working an angle."

You breathed a sigh of relief, "we're on the right track. Gives the guys a few days to settle in when they get home then we'll download them. I'll call the moment my guy gets back to me."

"Was that Tig?"

You nodded, "yeah, things are moving along with Hale. You good with finishing the cheesecake from tomorrow?"

Ima nodded, "yeah, Luanne said she'll be here at four to help out and Lyla's bringing the kids."

"Alright, I imagine Sam and Jax will be calling soon, I'll feed Abel while you have a shower, then I'll get dinner on. I'm going back to work tomorrow but I'll be home early."

She leaned on the benchtop, "is this ever going to slow down?"

You shrugged "yeah, eventuallty. They guys will be home in a few days, then we have a month or two before they have to go inside. Things will ease up."

****

She looked upset, "you doing ok?"

She shook her head, "I miss your brother."

You nodded "I know, I miss him too. They'll be ok."

Jax was bored out of his brains, usually at this time he would be sitting down for dinner you Sam, Ima, Abel and you, talking about how everyone's day went. But he was sitting at the picnic tables in the SAMBEL compound staring at the night sky with nothing to do but wait until the run tomorrow. He had a quick conversation with you and Abel a little while ago but it was too early in the morning to call you now.

"Hey man."

Sam and Opie sat down next to him, "you look deep in thought."

Jax shrugged, "there's nothing to do here but wait, it's killing me."

Sam huffed, "been there down that, I've lost count of how much time I've spent waiting around with my dick in my hand while the brass holds meetings. We could play cards, or lift weights, or eat, eating's good."

Opie chuckled, "you don't really need to lift anymore weights Sam."

Jax's chest got warm, "that's really sweet." It was tinged with sadness, he loved both of you, Sam treated him like a brother but sometimes seeing you two together made him long for Thomas.

"You can never be too strong, I can do a two-fingered pushup, can you?"

Jax shook his head, "your sister's humility hasn't rubbed off on you."

Sam huffed, "she's the reason I started lifting. When we were teenagers, she worked two minimum wage jobs and was doing three PhDs so she was always tired. We lived in a one bedroom apartment and she would sleep on the couch so I would have the bed. She used to fall asleep all over the place so I started lifting so I could carry her to bed."

"I mean it when I say this but what's mine is yours. We can share Sam, no charge."

Jax knew without a doubt he was going to marry you, there were days when it was the only thing that kept him going. He knew he was going to get the Club out of guns and he knew you would stick by to help, he just hoped with all his heart that you didn't come to your senses and leave him before then.

"I beat, I'm heading to bed." Opie left leaving Sam and Jax alone

"I know I'm not as smart as my sister but I'm pretty close and I know you well, you want to let me know why you're so lost in your head?"

Jax was too overwhelmed to contemplate what that meant.

Jax shrugged, "I waiting for the day your sister sees the light and leaves me."

Sam shook his head, "she loves you Jax and she's going to be with you through thick and thin. She wouldn't have done all the stuff she has if she had any doubts. My biggest worry is that the more you know about her the more you're going to be the one to run."

****

"This is going to sound weird, but do you have a bad feeling?"

You looked at Ima like she had three heads, "I woke up feeling like someone was sitting on my chest. I'm putting it down to stress and worry and not that horrible six sense that some people get before shit hits the fan."

She nodded, "we have the dinner tonight, we can focus on that."

"Yeah, I guess. When will you be home?"

You shrugged, "about two, it's a light day today but I'll be back to full duty tomorrow."

You left for work soon after and arrived to the whole lab busy, "what do we have?"

"Great, I'll start with the worst bodies and go from there."

"Building fire in Oakland, we've got six bodies on the deck."

You threw your hands up, "since when did we start getting fire IDs?"

Holt rubbed his face, "since last month, I've managed to hold them off but this looks like arson so we're stuck."

Two pm arrived before you knew it, only half the bodies were identified before you left, "I'll be back early tomorrow morning, call me if something comes up, please."

Holt nodded, "will do, get home safe."

Ima was already cooking when you got home, "Lyla will be here soon, I sent her out to get more milk and Luanne is going to be on time, the thing with CaraCara sorted itself out."

You nodded, "great, I think I might stop by and see Otto, I've got a whole lot of stuff to give him. I won't be long, I should be home by five."

****

"Good idea, I'm sure he'll be happy to see a friendly face. And Luanne will be grateful that you're still going to see him. Why don't you take Abel?"

You nodded, "great idea."

"Hey sweetie, how have you been?" Otto smiled, "you know, alone for the last two months."

You huffed and covered Abel's ears, "you did stick a bit of sharped bedpost in a Nazi's ear. He deserved it but murder is wrong and all."

He chuckled, "he's grown."

Abel was babbling and reaching his fat little hands out, "I know, you wanna hold him?"

Otto's arms went towards you before you could finish your sentence, "is he old enough to be eating solid food?"

You nodded, "yes, his favourite is his carrot and roast beef for dinner and strawberry yogurt for dessert."

Otto smiled, "you know, Luanne and I never wanted kids, but sometimes I think it would have been nice."

"You would have made good parents."

His eyes fell to the table, "I'm here for life now, I've had a lot of time to think." His gaze moved to the basket of food, "what have you brought me today?"

"Well get used to it, I'll be coming for as long as you want me."

"Lots of food, and books on tape. I bought The Wild West, how wine, women and song build America. The Truth About Modern Medicine and Ancient Food, Delicious or Deady."

His mouth was full of food, "thank you for everything, I think without your visits, I would have gone crazy long ago."

Jax called you just as you were leaving the prison, "hey Darlin."

He sounded tired, "hello my love, how are you?"

You could hear people talking and moving in the background, "good, we're getting closer to finding Jimmy. How are things there?"

"Good, we're having dinner with all the women tonight, I mean the kid will be there but other than that, it's just us girls."

Jax laughed, "are you meaning to tell me your forming a coven."

You giggled, "yep, watch out Mr Teller, one wrong step and I'll make sure all your hair falls out."

"Oh I'm terrified, how was work?"

Jax knew that groan, "how do you think, we're now helping with Arson investigations." The noise on the background was growing, "is everything ok over there?"

There was a pause while Jax spoke to someone else, "everything's in fine, some priest said that this is all about Jimmy wanting to take our business and sell it to the Russians but we still can't find the guy. The guys are just loading the guns now from the protection run we're helping with.

BANG

"Shit, do you want me to get some of my guys on it?"

You could hear the smile in Jax's voice, "nah Darlin, you've got to let me be a least a little usefu….."

The line went dead, you tried calling back, more than once but there was nothing. All you could do was drive home and go about your day, you'd let the other women know after dinner what had happened, they deserved some peace.

****

'What's wrong?"

You shook your head, "nothing, it's just been a long day. Is the bread ready for the oven?"

Lyla nodded, "yeah, go for it." You did your best to keep it together as the women arrived and put dinner on. You forced yourself to eat through nausea and worry, hoping desperately that Jax or Sam would call soon.

"When I was on the phone to Jax today the last thing I heard was what I think was a bomb go off, the line went dead and Jax hasn't gotten back to me." Someone swallowed, "there was no point in bringing it up, what can we do from here. You're all more than welcome to stay here until someone calls."

"Have you heard from Jax today?"

You nodded, "yeah, he seemed pretty busy. They're no closer to fixing what they're over there to fix."

Ima seemed worried, "really because I'm sure there's something you're not telling us, you keep going to get your phone out." you looked around at the women, there's was no point in keeping it from them now that dinner was over.

Everyone waited anxiously, the conversation would go from mundane nothing to fear filled speculation over and over again, then Ima got a call, "it's Sam." She answered the phone and put it down on the table on speaker, "y/n said she heard an explosion when she was talking to Jax, is everyone ok?"

"What? We're all fine, I'm sure Jax thought he hung up before it happened, none of our guys are hurt more than a few scrapes and bruises. How are things there?"

The conservation was short, Sam didn't have much to tell everyone before he asked if he could talk to Ima in private. Soon enough, you think because Sam told Jax, he was calling you. "I'm so sorry Darlin, I thought I hung up before it went off."

"It's fine Jax, I was so worried about you. Sam said everyone was ok."

He sounded even more tired than this afternoon, "yeah, we're all doing ok. But we know for sure that SAMBEL's been comprised, we're looking for O'Neil now. We think he's the one who set it off."

"Shit Jax, is Mcgee involved?"

Jax sighed, "we think so but we can't know for sure until we find O'Neil."

You shook your head, "that's not good Jax, he's first nine. If he's in bed with Jimmy you'll never get to him."

Jax huffed, "I know, that's part of the reason I'm calling. We think he's going to use the Russian Mafia to get him out of Ireland, do you think you can get us some info on the players in Northern Cali?"

"I'll call Penelope now. Please be careful Jackson, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

Jax chuckled, "nothing's going to happen to me. I'll be home before you know it. How did dinner go?"

You smiled, "good, until everyone found out you got yourself blown up. I saw Otto today, I took Abel with me and everything. He seems to be settling into his new reality ok but I promised I go back and see him as often as I could."

****

"You're a saint. I've got to go but I'll try and call again before you fall asleep."

You breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm just glad you're ok. Happy hunting."

Mcgee burst into the room, "because my boys are loyal to the MC. You're right about O'Neil, the Irish became more important than the patch." It went back and forth for a while, the voices becoming more and more raised. They finally got the location of a warehouse then left in a rush of leather and gasoline.

"O'Niel's an officer, if we point the finger at him, we might as well condemn the whole charter."

Clay shook his head, "maybe it's time we start looking at that. How do we know Jimmy didn't turn others?"

They searched in groups until they found him riding his bike away from the scene, Jax didn't hesitate in clotheslining him off it. "Call Sean Casey, we've got a confession to record." They dragged him inside the building with Mcgee following close behind.

"Who ordered the hit?" The confession didn't take long, it being Jimmy wasn't a surprise to anyone but the fact that he confirmed Mcgee was dirty was a surprise. His guys raced after him while Jax offed O'Neil, before they could do any more, Jimmy's men, or boys as it were, turned up.

They strung him up on what looked like a meat hook while Casey readied his tools. "I need you to tell me who ordered you to blow up that truck, Liam?"

O'Neil sounded scared, "I didn't blow it up." They cringed as Casey sliced his skin, O'Neil's screams turning blood-curdling.

They ran up the ladder to the roof before setting the room alight, the fire spreading as Jimmy reached to roof. As if it couldn't get any worse, they got into a shoot out with Jimmy's crew while Mcgee ran in the other direction and in the confusion and the gunfire, Jimmy managed to get away.

Mcgee on the other hand, wasn't so lucky, they caught him on the roof trying to scale a ladder down to get away. The conversation between him and Clay was short, then Clay was removing his kutte and throwing him off the edge.

They went right to the Irish kings who were thankful but when it came to taking him out, they buttoned up. By the time they had left, Ryan was the new president and they were no closer to finding Jimmy.

When Jax walked toward his room, Trinity was sitting on the bed waiting for him. Her face was puffy and her eyes were red, she had been crying. "I'm sorry about Mcgee."

She shook her head, "thanks, ma told me about your da, our da, I guess."

Jax's heart jumped, "I'm sorry. I had no idea…"

Trinity was falling asleep against his shoulder by the time they were done talking, it must have been close to four in the morning when he sent her to bed. Even though Jax was exhausted, he called you just because he wanted to hear your voice.

She cut him off, "it's ok, you did the right thing forcing ma to tell me. I don't know where we got from here Jackson?"

He smiled softly, "well, what are you doing at college? I'd like to hear about that, hell, we can talk about whatever you want."

"Hey Darlin."

He could hear Holt in the background, "hello my love, it's very early over there, shouldn't you be in bed?"

Jax chuckled, "nah, I just got done talking with my sister."

He could almost hear your smile, "I'm really happy for you Jax, I told you it would all pan out in the end."

"Yeah, you did. She's a really nice girl, we're gonna try and stay in touch. How's work?"

You huffed, "I'm in the weeds right now and I'm never taking any time off again. It looks like one of us is going to have to be a forensic consultant for arson cases. Oswald smartly said one of the first things he's going to do as mayor is explained our fire department. I looked at the proposal, it's a good decision."

"You're not going to leave me for a firefighter are you?"

You giggled, "have you ever been inside a firehouse? Those places and dens of iniquity and sin. You any closer to Jimmy?"

Jax let out a grunt, "no, Mcgee and O'Neil were dirty, they're both dead."

He could hear more people in the background, "Belfast sounds like it's on its last legs, that really sucks."

"I'm just ready to get out of here."

An alarm went off in the background, "I get that, and as much as I'd love to talk until the wee small hours, a machine is yelling at me. I love you Jax."

"Love you too y/n."

You raced out of your office, "what do we have?" Jack shook his head "it was a professional job, this wasn't some accidental drug fire. Someone lit the place up and wanted it to burn."

You look over the papers, "I need to make some calls, this might have something to do with all of us."

You ran into your office and called Penelope, "hey, Garcia, Hale's developer, has he been connected to any building fires? Not just properties he owns but ones he was looking into buying?"

Her keys clacked, "yes, actually, four. Only ten deaths were reported including the fire you're working on but at least twenty people were injuired. I'll do some more digging and get back to you."

"Thanks, can you have all the paperwork faxed to Holt right now, he needs to see this."

More clacking, "done, talk soon."

"Oh Kozik, you're gonna want to hear what I just found out."

"Yeah, talk soon."

You called T-M right away, "Teller-Morrow, this is Herman, how can I help you."

Part 37

#the reaper and the death angel #Jax teller #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #fluff #soa #jax teller #sons of anarhcy fanficton #sons of anarchy fluff #jax teller imagine #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller x you #jax teller x reader #jax teller x oc #samcrow #jax teller fluff #charlie hunnam #fix it fanfiction #jax teller smut #charlie hunnam imagine #charlie hunnam fanfiction #jackson teller

[rockislandadultreads]

New Title Tuesday: Urban Fiction

Beats & Blow by Shaun Sinclair

His empire is worth a billion thanks to the drug-fueled wealth of his infamous Dirty South crew. But with unanticipated enemies gathering for a final devastating hit, will there be anyone left to rule? Even near-fatal business and body blows can’t keep the Crescent Crew down for long. From lockdown, their founder and leader Qwess negotiates an unlimited supply of product that’s tripling the profits lost when the Feds swept in. But his treacherous second-in-command, Bone, has a secret agenda at play that's sparking a brutal internal war. And when Qwess’s old rival, New York mogul Diamond, comes gunning to finish him and his kingdom for good, betrayal and payback will win the day—and could leave nothing and no one standing...

This is the fifth volume of the "Crescent Crew" series.

Burning Season by Kiki Swinson

Set your schemes . . . A volunteer Virginia Beach firefighter, Alayna Curry faces death every day—and is proud to carry on her retired father's legacy. But with cash always tight and her long-time boyfriend Levi pressuring her to give up what she loves to make more money, she knows she needs more cash flow to stay afloat. . .

Set your traps . . . All Alayna has to do is keep quiet about a scheme to burn down buildings for insurance-hungry “clients.” And for a while she’s on fire from the rush, making insane cash—and finding new passion in all the wrong places. But when the money suddenly stops rolling in—and one “client” after another pushes back against the deal—Alayna and the rest of the crew stop watching out for each other and start fighting for their lives . . .

Set your life on fire . . . Now with the cops turning up the heat and every firefighter for themselves, Alayna must walk an impossible line to get out from under. But between betrayal, secrets, and broken duty, will what loyalty she has left be the one thing that burns her life to the ground for good?

Madam X by Niobia Bryant

Billionaire celebrity clients, anything-goes erotic nights, seductive betrayals—Desdemona Dean couldn't wait to leave the high-end prostitution game behind. Now settled down with the only man she’s ever loved, Desi is getting the chances her shattered childhood denied her—and making her life truly her own. Until a basketball superstar publicly credits Madam X's unmatched sexual services for his astonishing career. Add an anonymous tip to the police—and suddenly Desi is in the center of a social and tabloid media firestorm . . .

Knowing others’ secret desires has always kept Desi safe—and hiding her own wrenching past is the only protection she could ever trust. But her lies are taking her relationship apart piece by piece, keeping her only seconds ahead of the police—and exposing her to a malicious blackmailer determined to destroy her for good . . .

Now Desi will need all her nerve and cool, calculating bravado to take down her enemies and outmaneuver the law. But once she reveals who she used to be, can she survive the consequences to hold on to the woman she’s become?

This is the second volume of the "Madam" series.

Penthouse View by Zari

When Shantana has finally gotten everything she ever wanted, a mistake from her past threatens to bring it all crashing down around her.

Selling weed and then running her own robbing crew that targeted drug dealers was how Shantana Phillips gained her entry into the Atlanta drug market. Their motto was, "Why buy drugs when you can steal them?"

While Shantana and her crew are celebrating in South Beach after their biggest hit ever, the ambitious and power-hungry Shantana meets a Colombian importer looking for a new distributor for the Atlanta market. During a trip to Cali, Colombia, he promises to take her program to the next level. All she has to do is eliminate his old distributor in that market. Once the brutal deed is done and Shantana has the power, she decides not to stop at just the old distributor. Why not ruthlessly eliminate all of her competition and have it all?

This volume is a part of the "Carl Weber's Kingpins" series.

#urban fiction #new library books #new titles #new books #book recommendations #book recs #reading recs #reading recommendations #tbr pile #tbrpile #tbr #to read #booklr #book tumblr #library blog #book blog

[the1975attheirverybest]

This is unrelated to matty and the guys but I'm interested to hear your pov about the writer's strike

It's a very complicated issue because of the number of factors involved. I can't speak on all of them with equal levels of "knowledge" or whatever, but I can speak on a couple things.

TLDR: Unions ( are vital in our capitalist society; I'm largely in favor of the strike; we need to invest more in the arts overall (including TV and film).

MBA: So, the fact that the Minimum Basic Agreement (the agreement that enforces wages for film and tv writers, etc.) leaves out writers for streaming is INSANE to me. Especially when more and more productions are starting to make media (film, tv shows, Late Night talk shows, etc) exclusively for direct to streaming. Like tons of shows are made FOR Netflix. Tons of TV shows are "Netflix originals," or "Apple+ originals." Hulu is also involved in this, but I think Hulu has a lot of partnerships with broadcast tv, so to a slightly lesser extent. Meaning, those writers, unlike their fellow broadcast writing staff have less protections and must negotiate for themselves individually, without the support that they would get otherwise.

Residuals: Same as the above. Writers report a significant decrease in the amount of money they seem from residuals after steaming has gotten involved. Like, compared to a decade ago. I get that streaming is a fairly new phenomenon, but it's not THAT new at this point. And there are so many of them that things get murky. Like HBO has one, and so does....CBS? Whatever "Peacock" is supposed to be. So, there are cases where shows are being made for both TV AND streaming. we've had it long enough, though, to have data. And to be able to see how much money is being spent and where it's going. Writers deserve to see their fair share of that money.

Mandatory Staffing: This one's a bit tricky, mostly cuz I don't know enough about it, but also because I have mixed feelings. Essentially, writers are calling for a requirement that companies have a minimum number of writers on their staff at all times. Like, regardless of project, x number of writers would come to work every day and know that they have a job to do. If Y TV show is finished/ not being worked on right now, then Z project is still there. etc. And I don't know if that's feasible? I imagine that there's enough work in Hollywood for everyone to be doing something all the time, lol. Like, for allll the tv shows and movies that we see, there's TONS that don't get made, or get a pilot but don't get pick up by network, etc. But they still needed writers to make them in the first place! so, its not like the minimum mandatory writers on staff will be twiddling their thumbs all year, lol.

I could see it MAYYYBBBEEE getting to be a problem if, like, someone's a comedy writer, but gets stuck on a horror show or some shit and turns out not to be great at doing the job. Or if they do scripts for John Oliver and they suddenly have to write a Game Of Thrones spin off episode, lmao. But, realistically speaking, that would probably happen very rarely? and I imagine most tv and film writers have had to write across genres throughout their career at least a couple of times? It's not like the WGA is demanding that EVERY SINGLE ONE of their writers be employed at all time. they just want to negotiate a certain number of minimum staff members. Like, (im making this up now for examples) 8 out of the 30 that usually work on a team. a portion of them. not all 30. you know? Again, I don't know much about financing production companies for media, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say that first they pay themsleves, then the actors, then everybody else, lol. Basically like any other capitalist institution, people at the top get the goods, and everyone else gets leftovers.

Pensions and Insurance: This one I feel VERY passionately about. I wanted to be a novelist when I was younger. Up until like the first two or 3 years of undergrad. Published short stories here and there, but then when I realized the financial scarcity involved, I did some math and I JUST couldn't see a way where I would make it work. Like, say I get a job and "write on the side," in this country and culture id be committing my whole damn self to said "job" and barely have time, energy, etc to write. But I can't be jobless and JUST focus on writing cuz then I'd have no health insurance, no 401K, no perks or benefits whatsoever. But this gets us into a conversation about how healthcare should be free for all. And...thats a different issue.

We glamorize the idea starving artists, but artists can't make art when they're starving. Why SHOULDN'T someone be able to maintain health insurance and get paid a decent living to like, keep their apartment/ mortgage, etc while they make the sort of art that influences us and our culture? when we think of TV and film, everyone's always interested in the actors. Sometimes, if you're Chris Nolan or Taranto or whatever, then maybe a director or producer. Seldom are screenwriters acknowledged and that's wild to me because they are behind the storylines and words that we see!!!

idk, just my two cents lol.

[myfandomrealitea]

Actually existing in universes like Marvel and DC would fucking suck.

Like imagine just being A Guy going about your day and some batshit insane beefcake literally rips your expensive motorcycle out from under you, in the middle of traffic, steals it, and crashes it??

Imagine buying a house and three months later you're homeless and broke because the fucking Hulk used it like a climbing frame to fight aliens?

Don't even get me fucking started on living in Gotham. How that place has literally any inhabitants is a mystery to me. Real estate much be in the double-digits out there. Life insurance must be astronomical. I bet 90% of Gotham is in medical debt.

I would be fucking terrified of living in the same city as Superman. Everything down to my damn doorknob would be insured. Literally everything wants to fight and/or control Superman. Peaceful walks through the city? Don't know her. I'm not having the World's Strongest Biceps crashing down on my head.

Not to mention in both of them the world is basically ending every other week. Living in a normal world full of bad people is awful enough but living in a world where said bad people have superpowers and access to insane technology?

I would simply exist in a permanent state of Mental Breakdown. I would be broke on therapy. I'd say I'd move into a psychiatric facility but half the Big Bads seem to be in there too.

Insurance premiums? Through the roof. Mental health? Seventh level of hell. Risk of death? Immeasurable. You are never safe.

We all joke about the 2020's but that's basically the norm for those universes. Like shit. You can keep Iron Man. I'm happy with Robert Downey Jr.

#not discourse #fandom #dc #marvel #iron man #batman #gotham #myfandomrealitea #sephiroth speaks

[ghostickle]

Mental health services might be better than insane asylums and lobotomies now but I think wayyy too many people view it as if we’re a lot further along from that than we are. Like yea sure some psych wards are good sometimes it does help people. But there’s also a lot of people that get out and end up even worse, people still get locked in wards involuntarily in inhumane conditions. Fucking hell I ended up there over a month at a place that was only supposed to hold a week at the most and almost no one wants to be there and we were all treated horribly and especially more severe cases were treated like we either weren’t even human or that we must not be trying hard enough or faking for attention. It’s also only available to certain people, for my case everyone agreed I needed to go to a long term residential place but the only places that accepted my insurance were exclusively for veterans/active duty unless I went to an ed ward which I can tell you right now being that I have ARFID going to a clinic that typically treats eds like anorexia it would only make me worse and I was just sent home to a place they knew was abusive rather than them doing anything to help I was put right back in the situation that put me there.

#my god they threatened to kick me out of partial hospitalization claiming I wasn’t trying cause I wasn’t improving #I left before they kicked me out cause I was not gonna deal with that #but like maybe I’m not getting better because the ‘help’ available for mental health is pathetic at best #I’ve been turned away by almost every professional cause they don’t know what to do with me #and I’m not even the worst case I’ve seen #ghost rambles

[mightyflamethrower]

So, walking into the room filled with gas fumes that was the upset king of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar, we’ve noticed Daniel could confront the fear and insanity of the moment because Daniel found a way to fit in, to be at home culturally in the place where God put him. But, paradoxically, in that place, Daniel learned to stand out. There is another pair of things I notice, and they also stand in some tension with each other.

Love Your Enemies?

The third thing I see about Daniel, and rather like the “fitting in” issue, is a bit of a surprise. Daniel Shows a Striking Tenderness toward Nebuchadnezzar. Recall just who this guy Nebuchadnezzar is: three, maybe four devastating attacks on Judah and Jerusalem one after the other, in (perhaps) 604, 601, 597, 586 and again in 585 B.C. Each time, he took captives. In 597 he had deported many back to Babylon, including the newly crowned young king, Jehoiachin. Then in the nightmare of 587-586, Nebuchadnezaar had slowly strangled Jerusalem with a bone-crushing siege in which starvation pushed some Jerusalemites to cannibalism. Nebuchadnezzar brutally killed King Zedekiah’s sons before his very eyes, then blinded Zedekiah and dragged him to Babylon, where his predecessor, Jehoiachin, enjoyed the acceptance of the Babylonian court as the true king of Judah. We have no account of Zedekiah’s death, but he doubtless lived his last years utterly shamed. Of course, in 586 Nebuchadnezzar razed the city of Jerusalem, demolished the temple of Solomon, looted the sacred precincts of their holy objects which were brought to Babylon and later subjected to further sacrilege. Nebuchadnezzar then abandoned the city, making no efforts even to insure that what few survivors remained could pay him tribute. So, to a frightened Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel could be tempted to say “Well, Nebuchadnezzar, your sins are catching up with you. God is going to burn it all down.” But Daniel shows genuine tenderness for the tyrant. In 4:19, Daniel wishes the dream and its meaning were for the king’s enemies, not him.

And the dream… The king saw a great tree, nourishing and shading all, brutally cut down by order of a “Holy Watcher” from heaven. The tree stump is rained on, but not uprooted: an iron band clamps the stump, presumably to slow its decomposition on invasion by parasites. Daniel informs Nebuchadnezzar that he, in fact, is the tree, and the tree’s felling portends a time of bestial insanity, in fact, “seven times” worth of insanity. We don’t know what that means, but the time was significant. Though this could have been a source of real pleasure to Daniel, he shows tender compassion. Daniel stresses the devastating reality of the coming insanity, but also assures the king of hope of restoration: that iron band around the stump pointed to divine mercy.Ancient monument depicting Nebuchadnezzar imagining the construction of his great temple in Babylon

Insane, dangerous times, even times of grief, anger and outrage, must still be times of tenderness, even for an enemy. Daniel had seen a goodly share of death and suffering, all caused by this king. Nevertheless, he wishes no harm on the king, so when this dangerous, powerful man enters a moment of vulnerability, Daniel’s voice sounds notes of reason and compassion.

Honesty About God’s Standards

But today we tend to think “reason and compassion” imply lowering God’s standard of righteousness, of being soft on sin. Not in Daniel’s case. The fourth thing I find here is that Daniel Honestly Witnesses to God’s Standards of Justice. In his tenderness, Daniel speaks soberly and with restraint of God’s moral order. This dream story is all about power and pride, the two trademark character features of Nebuchadnezzar, known for pride, savage use of power, injustice and oppression, and the violent destruction of others to expand his power and aggrandize the massive appetites of himself and his favored elites. Without preaching a long sermon, Daniel is honest about these things.

Nebuchadnezzar must clearly learn two huge truths: (a) there is one all powerful, sovereign God (b) Nebuchadnezzar is not He!

Nebuchadnezzar therefore will lose that one thing that was his glory: his charismatic, incisive mind. The mind that envisioned a global empire, a dazzling urban center, ornate temples, the hanging gardens of Babylon…wonders of the world then, legendary even today…this mind will now descend into bestiality. Nebuchadnezzar must be driven insane to see the insanity he had been living all along!

So Daniel pleads with the king (4:27) to break off from his sins, to practice righteousness, stop the violent oppression, and promises that God will indeed be gracious. But Nebuchadnezzar does not heed. Then, 12 Months pass. As often happens, the slow pace of divine justice is mistaken for its unreality. But suddenly, “it” happens. It’s actually a familiar biblical scene: someone patting themselves on the back, thinking they’ve got it made, and God calls their name. “This day your soul is required of you.” And then the night fell on the brilliant, arrogant mind of Nebuchadnezzar.

Agent of Redemption

Nebuchadnezzar was lucky. He got the message. He recovers, confesses the lordship of God, and admits that his own pride has been humbled by God. It’s revealing to compare the proclamation at the beginning of Daniel 4 with the one at the end. The first is the word of a fan but the second, the word of a follower. The speaker of the first is impressed, of the second, convinced.

All because of Daniel. Daniel found a way to fit in. He didn’t compromise or cave, but stood out. He truly loved his enemy, but he did not flinch from God’s just requirements. So Daniel became an agent of redemption.

May we all, in these troubled times, and in more troubled times to come, be God’s ambassadors of truth, tenderness, and redemption

[sodacat22]

ranking wils miwb ep bcus i am insane n kinda hyperfixated on it rn :

1 . iafiap , esp the part where he says “but it’s ok..! it’s a strategy to insure i remain …”

2. coming in so very close , white wine in a wetherspoons . he rhymes so pretty i must ingest the guitar that he used to play the song with

3  maybe i was boring . she’s lovely but she’s just too slow for me ; it reminds me of when someone tries to scratch ur back but scratches u in the wrong place n u have to guide them and they still get it wrong .

4 for memories. yk that pit in inside out where lost memories go n lose their color, that’s where i imagine this song lurks . i don’t hate it (that much) , but it’s certainly not a fav

[45dazedandconfused]

Homeless Part two

I was still in shock the rest of the week and drove myself insane trying to figure out how in the hell I had nothing but my carhouse, me, and my dog to worry about and still had the same amount of bills I did when I wasn't on the streets. I was still making a car payment and I tried to keep that between $200/$300 a month, car insurance after all the bullshit tickets, $187 a month. (for the record the ovi's still make me sick to my stomach, I deserved the punishment for them. Well most of it.)  Cell phone $70 and that was after switching to cheap ass metro. Website for business $70, business insurance $40, gas at least $400 and that is me driving with the gaslight on and praying I don't run out. Food well there was no place to store  food so I was spending $20 a day at convenience stores, because when you don't have a home you also have limited places to keep groceries. I have a small cooler for the car to keep drinks in. Mainly bottled water that gets refilled. Peanut butter and jelly is what keeps me going. I have soy or almond milk and cereal. Never any real food. Hotdogs and smoke sausage are a treat. So just this small list of the cost of being homeless. It's around 1500 a month and I don't ever have a place to take a shit!!!!  All of the things listed if you noticed didn't include tampons, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, dog food, or any other little thing you don't think about always having ready at your fingertips. Qtips, god I miss always having them. I forget to buy them everytime I go to the store and  when I do remember I don't have the extra money to spend on them. It really is the smallest stuff sometimes that makes you feel like a real human.

Speaking of humans, you all know that what we put in the body comes back out in some form.  Have you ever been away from home and had to take a shit? Where did you go? Now think about being around your town having to shit, no money to buy anything at any store or restaurant, and most gas stations locally don't have bathrooms.  Fast food places are even pains in the asses about coming in only for the bathroom, but even if they aren't most of them are a good distance away when nature comes calling. I have actually had to shit on the side of the road, in a bush, barely hidden from view. Guess what? I had no toilet paper, so I slid my ass back and forth on the grass, sliding over slightly each swipe to get my ass as clean as I could. Thankfully and dreadfully it was full blown winter and the snow helped out with the cleaning process nicely. Man that was a moment I almost just quit trying. It was one of the most humiliating things I've had to do. Sad to say there have been so many more times like that over the last few months that I cringe thinking about. I have done things in the last few months I never dreamed of having to do, but this far in it doesn't bother me as much as it did at first. 

Something that does bother me though is, people don't care. They really don't give a rats ass about their neighbors, or the person they see walking down the street with that packed full backpack, and a worn out tired look on their faces. They will walk or drive right by you and not take a second glance. It makes me sad to think this is the world I grew up in. I must be an alien, not really human, because  I have never been able to just drive by someone I can see clearly needs help and not stop. I have always went out of my way to offer food, shelter, or a ride to it, clothes, money, etc. My dream has been most of my life to open a community center type place, with the exception that the government isn't allowed to interfere. It will be my Treehouse of Creations. The doors will never be locked and everyone I don't care what your story is would be welcome. Unless you hurt children or animals and then I'll kick your ass while throwing you out the door! My own community of misfits that just need a big mommas porch to come home to. As you read this think about all the people you have in your life and the love you feel and share with them. Then try if you can to imagine waking up everyday in your car, or under the bridge, behind a dumpster, or hiding in a park shelter. Imagine not talking to one other human all day, and then that carry into 4 days in a row. All the time you are awake is trying to figure out where you will sleep and eat for the day. Wondering if you will get a shower or be able to just sit down and rest for a min after the long day of work. My Treehouse will be all that and so much more. Teenagers or kids that are having a bad time at home, come hang out and paint, write, play music. Shit break something if need be. But come to the Treehouse and know that you will be loved and accepted. Respected, and listened too. I just want to make sure I do my part to never make another creature feel as unloved and unwanted as I feel today and everyday for the last 8 months. I don't want anyone to be afraid they are going to freeze to death, Or get raped or murdered because it's not always safe in the dark. I want people to have a place to relax on a chair or bed or couch and just feel normal. Take a shower without shower shoes on, or for the love of all that is holy, have somewhere to take a shit!! 

I want to help the addicts find peace, and a skill that makes them happy. So they can use that to replace the drug that is killing them. I want to offer a studio for artists, a music room for musicians, computers and books for writers, daycare for single moms, and so much more. I guess I want a community of people who just love, accept, and cherish the people around them. Helping each other hone in and perfect our talents and skill sets. Then in turn each person learn new skills from each other. The Treehouse of Creations I picture is a place where, when we say come home and put your feet up. That's exactly what we mean. You are family here and always welcomed. 

Well there I go spiraling with my thoughts. It's hard sometimes being me, I exhaust myself trying to just keep my mind on task, or getting my brain to just shut the hell up!  Signing out for now, still homeless on a budget

#homelesswomenwithadog #homeless #car living #gypsysoul

[dollar-store-shopping]

[fiverenvironment]

Air quality and it's bacteria can be a serious concern. If you are one of those who suffer from allergies or asthma respiratory conditions you know that clean air is the most important. Not being able to breathe is truly scary. Germicidal UV can make the difference. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) frequently reported that indoor air can be more polluted than the air outside. Whether you have a health condition or not, you could definitely benefit from breathing cleaner air with UV purifiers for your home.

How do these devices work? Germicidal UV Cleaners use filters and Ultraviolet light to purify the air inside your home. You might be surprised but microscopic allergens like dust, mold, mildew, pet dander and pollen live in the same indoor area as you do. Air pollutants come from any source, furniture, rugs, carpets, toys, pets you name it and even the household cleaning product.

Maybe you are not one who suffers from these health conditions but maybe you are sensitive to other smells and bad odors, cigarette smoke, or dog and cat smell can be enough to drive some people totally insane. The greatest thing about germicidal UV systems are their ability to remove these microorganisms offenses and leave your air feeling clean and truly breathable.

OK UV (ultraviolet light) is only one part of your air purification system but you already have air filters. Although it is a must you change these at a regular times. The regular filter catches dust particles now is when you need to finish the cleaning action. Germicidal UV lights destroys microorganisms like bacteria, mold, and viruses that lurk in your home. Did you know that germicidal UV air purifiers are effective at removing up to 99% of allergens and microorganisms that make you sick, air pollens, mold spores, and dust mites. This would be your best insurance for quality air.

Still not convinced ask your local hospital or your city administrator about ultraviolet germicidal. You will be surprised to find just how many places it being used. In most cities water sterilization plant.. Hospitals use germicidal UV on instruments for operations and in many rooms customers occupy. Some offices use them in their customer waiting areas. Germicidal UV is used in so many other locations and application in your everyday life.

Universities like University of California Davis have and are doing extensive research in the ultraviolet field. This ongoing technology is ever surprising scientists. UV light sterilization for water plants that feed Las Vegas Nevada making water available for tens of thousands every day. States like California would not be able to survive without this technology. Almost every state uses one form or another of the Germicidal UV. Although it has been available to every home owner it is only in the last few years that every day people are learning and understanding all the benefits of the UV world.

Making this one of your home protectors will save you money. Just think no more chemicals to clean the air handler and ducts. Having less service calls lowering your every day operating cost because parts are running clean reducing wear and tear. Germicidal UV is here today and will continue improving your environment. Look closely at this technology, Newinavations.

Hope you enjoyed this article written by Jerry Wang. Germicidal UV is for the very best air quality. UV light sterilization for clean water.. Save your money. Get what you and your family need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. There is much more information available for your asking. also before you buy get your discount coupon at https://fivergroup.com/uv-lamp-1.html.

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