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#the one issue is i am very tired and i wanna write for Fun but i dont think i can Anymore

onlyjaeyun · 3 months

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alright, i'm gonna address this ask once and then just not respond to anything else, even the asks supporting me bc im a little exhausted and on the verge of losing motivation so i dont wanna trigger it by going back and forth with people. yet this does not mean i dont deeply appreciate everyone's sweet messages. means the world to me to know you all have my back like this, so thank you so much 🤍

once and for all: this is fiction. fiction, meant for adults hence the MDNI/18+ in my bio, basically plastered all over my blog.

every character ive created so far is just that. a character. and i need some of you guys to understand that this is what (fan)fiction is about. the smoking, the family trauma, the lack of self awareness, their sexual activities and coping mechanisms, everything regarding and about my characters was created by me and most of the time intentionally.

one thing that also needs to be clear is that you can't just run around policing grown people in their asks talking about such significant issues and throwing around accusations like that because not only is it deeply offensive but it's also very, very dangerous. you misunderstood my post and assumed i'd use sex and sexual intimacy to have him make up for his wrongdoings when that is NOT what i said at all. just please be careful the next time because i understand where you came from but i did not deserve that.

what i also wanna address is the part with me having "impressionable readers" because this is very important to me as a smut writer.

i have set clear boundaries that i do not want any minors on my blog, point blank. now, we all know they're still around. is that my responsibility? no. am i supposed to give a fuck about people who are apparently old enough to consciously read trigger/content warnings and continue to read my work? fuck no. is it my job to educate those impressionable people that they shouldn't read smth if they can't differentiate fiction from reality. NO.

that's all im gonna say to this because yes, there are impressionable readers out there but that is NOT my responsibility.

im tired of people constantly policing me and the things i write when im a grown woman who knows exactly what she's doing. if you hate CH!sunghoon so much and are so uncomfortable with his progress, then don't read it.

saying this for everyone yet again:

if you do NOT like a writer's work, you do NOT have to READ it.

this is tumblr. i write things for FUN. i publish them for you guys to read for FREE. i dont owe anybody shit. im so, so sorry if this makes some of you angry or upset now but at the end of the day it's the truth. this is my blog and my writing and i will do whatever the fuck i want and unfortunately you have no choice but to live with it.

i appreciate constructive criticism but i will not and never in the future let anyone be so mean to me and accuse me of things when you usually just see and read and hear what you want and make up your own version of the story when it's so, so far away from the truth.

pls do not attack the nonie bc i know this is the result of a misunderstanding but it was a good opportunity for me to address the whole impressionable reader situation.

if you can't differentiate fiction from reality that's your problem, stop making it mine.

thank you so much for everything, nothing but love 🧸🩷🎀

#also not to be that bitch but y'all let people write full on (pseudo) incest fics about real people including lacking consent and very #questionable kinks but nobody says a thing #my male lead is a fucking asshole who has yet to grovel and i get shit thrown at me left and right #; rambles

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dykeomania · 1 year

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𝒎𝒊𝒂'𝒔 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒔: parenthood (3).

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: parenthood means stress, and endurance, and exhaustion, and learning curves, and ... sometimes, really, really, really good sex?

𝐚/𝐧: this is my Parenthood (Thought) Piece because i understand that i am mentally 30 but i llloooooooooooveeee a good domesticity concept i eat that shit up nnomnomnonmonmnom. i needed to talk about early parenthood with ellie and i needed to talk about some of the ... Alternate Consequences ... of early parenting .. if you will. this was fun. this was also composed between the hours of like, 2-4am. i think it's pretty literate, and kind of alright. you may have a fun time reading it. if you don't, sorry i'll venmo you a dollar. not ssssure if i really have anything else to say, honestly. proofread (at a very early hour, mind you) but i always make mistakes, i'll always edit over time.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: i understand these tags are like super weird and i always preface my fics like "fuck around and find out," but just to be clear, this fic does not sexualize children in any way. any way. just to really make that clear. mentions of you and ellie being engaged. joel's technically alive. mentions of children. parental uncertainty. stress. a little bit of sub bottom!ellie. we're dipping our toes in. also dom top!ellie. mentions of oral (both receiving), mentions of vaginal penetration (reader receiving). both ellie and the reader being milfs / ellie thinking its really hot how you are a good mom (there are still so many things in this category that i could've hit that im probably not even thinking of, so if y'all like this and wanna talk about them, Please talk to me) i write in past tense for literally all of it and this is just a me thing, but that's not really my style, so things may be .. off. or maybe it's just me. maybe i'm tripping. we'll see. it's like, 4am. so.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.1k, just about (i did too much).

. . . .

you both lived on the farm. it was a quiet, proud little life that you lead. a picturesque actualization of all of the little thoughts and dreams that you and ellie have had about living together, about having a family. though, parenthood was new, and difficult. there were some nights that the baby wouldn't stop crying, and both of you would take turns feeling like shit -- one usually at a grander magnitude than the other -- because neither of you would know what to do. what, am i like, a bad mom? does he hate me? you spent time convincing each other that that is simply not the case, and that this was all part of the process. that you were both new, and learning, and that it's okay.

if you knew nothing else, whether that be due to not having experienced parenthood before or the delirium accompanying the heavy set bags and dark circled ruminating under both of your eyes, then you did know that there were a few things for certain: he will suck his thumb. his cries will turn to wails which will turn to sniffles, which will turn to sighs. he will get tired. he will roll over, and coo, and will go to sleep.... eventually.

granted, while this mentality in general made things easier throughout the early days of raising your newborn son, there was still no doubt that it was.. exhausting. in every way. parenting was a constant learning curve, and it took tolls on both of you in different ways. for ellie, she'd get quiet. snippy, even, and gain a little bit too much audacity at times. a snarky remark or demonstration of blatant impatience towards something minuscule, but still hurtful. her frustration would always point toward some deeper issue that she often struggled met with annoyance first, and words second. one of the first things that ellie learned while parenting was that she was really bad at communicating. she'd find herself throughout the first three, maybe even six months, constantly finding ways to say sorry.. even without saying really having said it. like, slipping into bed when after you'd finally went to sleep, and pressing kisses to your temple. or making sure the dishrack was completely empty, so you'd have one less thing to work about. albeit she struggled to verbally explain that while she understood you were too, she was just.. a little tired.

maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or her willingness to take up most of the tasks that required attention in areas other than just the inside of the home. which.. you did have to admit, were a little bit more intense than cleaning and washing dishes. no one asked her to do all of that. she took it upon herself to do extraneous tasks, like fix the fucking roof, during the peak of summer. and you'd always offer to help, truly. but it was always no, i've got it. you've got other stuff to do. you just go play with him, and i'll be in to take over in a little, okay?

you would, at times, have to sit her down and remind her to take it slow. that the roof isn't really bothering either of you, right now, and it won't until .. october, probably. that it's okay to swap out, if need be. she can do dishes, cook if she wants (burn down the house, if she wants), clean up while you go fix the wiring of the fence, tend to the horses, whatever the fuck she feels the need to do, on top of having to do already.

you would have to remind her, that she just can't do everything all at once. and that's okay. but that's also neither of your faults.

both you and parenthood alike would teach her to .. slow down, take it easy, and to talk.

ellie would have to teach you something similar, believe it or not. your back hurt. your tits wouldn't stop fucking leaking, and ever since you gave birth, you wouldn't stop getting these aching migraines that made your ears ring. you quite literally found yourself bending over backwards, trying to do everything all at once all of the time (sound familiar?), because you knew that it was as much of your job as it was ellie's. you can change the diapers, you can pump the breastmilk, you can clean the house, you can stop him from crying, you can read him books (that he couldn't understand, yet, technically), you could do everything. and theoretically, you could. and you would, until it made you frayed, and unhealthy.

that would be enough to make ellie to step in, put her hand on your shoulder, and advise you in a tone that was about as gentle as it was stern:

hey, let maria take him for a couple of days. you're tense -- i can feel you from across the house.

despite the anxiety and the frustration and the sleep deprivation and the exhaustion, you really would feel grateful to be experiencing this trying time together. there were some patterns characterizing it that were obviously stressful, and anxiety-inducing. but there were some consistencies throughout it that were be sweet, and tender. like, running each other warm baths. sitting – either in the bath, with the other, or on the toilet, or the side of the bath – and talking in low volume, not really out of fear of waking the baby, but just to kind of relish in the pocket of peace that existed between the two of you in that moment. the affection never died between the two of you. you were always snuggling close to each other when it came time for bed. always pressing tender kisses to each other's shoulders, holding each other's hands, circling your thumbs and indexes over each other's engagement rings.

… But!

you know... i'm a whore. so honestly, what really spurred this whole thought, is the fact that .. during parenthood your sex lives would practically be nonexistent. and it's not something that either of you really notice, until one of you explicitly brought it up. raising a child -- especially raising one in an environment that you both worked to keep safe, secured, and comfortable -- is a lot of work.

it wouldn't dawn upon either of you until you both were eating one night at the table - another tradition that you did not forfeit. you managed to dance around the subject due to something entirely tangential, and then it hit you, and you said – out of pure realization, ellie, we haven't had sex in .. like, months.

and just like that, the consequences of at least 98 days of involuntarily celibacy hit you both like a fucking truck.

for you, it came in the form of .. the simple reminder that your soon-to-be-wife is really... really fucking physically flawless. you'd notice this everytime she'd wear short-sleeves, or shirts no sleeves, which was really only.. every once in a while, as jackson got colder, or whenever you both woke up. sometimes you'd find yourself looking at ellie's back profile as she sat upright on the bed, adjacent and turned from you, stretching a big, grand stretch, and you'd feel a specific heat beginning to tickle the insides of your thighs. you found it harder to keep your gazes to yourself as ellie exited the shower, muscles apparent, and glistening. her whole body was littered with scars, and yet she was still so gorgeous. it was hard to believe that even for a second you failed to recall – or be conscious of – the fact that as much of a teddy-bear as she was, you were practically dating a fucking sculpture.

naturally, you would act on your desires first. and frankly, ellie would be so willing to lean into them.

she'd be lying if she said sometimes she didn't wake feeling a bit restless, and like there was only one thing that soothe her. she craved it, sometimes – your hands, on her. all she needed were some quick rubs against her clit and kisses against her skin to motivate her to get out of bed and feed the animals. and she was so, so fortunate to have a fiancée good enough to her to give her just that.

she dared, shame on her, to forget how good you could make her feel. ellie never really let anyone touch her, before she met you. before she met you, she was honestly convinced a lot of the parts "down there" didn't work. she could hardly achieve making herself cum. it’d take so long. ellie hardly masturbated because she’d get impatient in any ordeal that wasn’t some needy, feral 3am occurrence that left her stirring, sweaty, and overwhelmed. it was a lot of buildup for what she saw as, in the end, very little payoff. and as far as other people making her cum went? well, no one had ever gotten that far. frankly, she didn’t think anyone would get that far.

that was until she met you.

it definitely wasn’t easy. there were a lot of tired wrists and upper biceps, and your jaw did get pretty sore. her pussy was gorgeously messy. but her clit liked to hide sometimes underneath the extra skin. when you found it, you learned that it was usually, extremely sensitive. but you told her that that was okay. you could make that work.

you spent a lot of time learning all of the technicalities. what was too much, what wasn’t enough. what to say to her; how fast to rub her.

it paid off, because about a month into dating, you showed her that it — and frankly, anything — was possible. just takes a little bit of time, and patience, kisses and whispers of affirmation how about how good she feels. how good she’s doing. takes some listening, intently, to what she needs. to what her body needs.

can feel you twitching. you want my finger right here?

fuck, yeah. right there. just like that, baby -- please don't fuckin' stop.

and once you got good at it (and you got so fucking good at it), ellie couldn’t get enough. she jokes, regularly, that that’s one of the reasons why she’s going to marry you.

ellie's voice in the mornings would breathless and empty. all bostonian accent, rasp, and nothing else. they were vulnerable. whenever she'd let you between her thighs and you placed those kitten licks across her clit transitioning into these longer, learned drags, her moans would break, like glass. her hips would shuffle. sometimes, you’d have to hold her still.

no no, fucking running. it’s okay. just let me. can you let me? can you let me take care of you, baby?

fuck. yes. yes, yes, fuck. s— sorry just – oh, fuck.

it would mostly just be wake-me-ups. but ellie's back would always be arching by the middle of it. she'd find herself gasping, and sighing, and fucking -- against your tongue, against your finger -- and gripping onto whatever, all while mumbling to gods she didn't believe in.

that feels so, so so fucking – g–good.

so fucking good to me; feels so good, babe, thinki'mgonnacum–

ellie's orgasms hit her the same way every time. hard. ridiculously hard. leaving her breathing heavy, and screwing her eyes shut while she grasped at your hand, or your hair. her thighs would tense -- sometimes scramble -- and then collapse, after a while. she became this perfect amalgamation of tinted cheeks, chapped pink lips, messy brown hair, and sticky skin.

she was such a fucking .. painting. she's so incredible.

the plan, as she wrote it, often was to immediately get out of bed after you made her cum. but oftentimes, she couldn't do anything for the first couple of minutes except lie there, body just a sack of bones and jello. her head would rest instead of pressing into yours, or would nuzzle its way deep into your neck. both occasions a precursor to her finally catching her breath. when she moves her head to kiss you, capturing your lips in something thankful, and sweet, it is almost always grounding for the both of you.

better?

so much better. holy shit, babe.

and that's not to say that ellie would never act on her desires. she was always just a little more calculated.

for ellie, her frustrations would creep up on her in the weirdest ways. it would be.. small things. things that were, actually, probably mutual. watching you wash the dishes, even when you’re not bent in a particularly promiscuous way. watching you cook, even when she wasn't really watching you, 'cause she was keeping the baby busy. but what really did her in was watching how you handled your son. something about seeing you have him on your hip, cooing at him or laughing with him, or playing with him, or smothering his cheek in big kisses that elicited these big, big giggles from him, drove her.. a very, questionable? kind of crazy? it was pure. it was so sweet, and most of the time, it was just that. but you were so, good with him. after so many months, despite all of the struggle, you really did blossom into a beautiful, capable mother, who still held the glow and all of the weight from the pregnancy and just–

ellie would realize how good it all looked on you. she would feel.. really proud.

and it made her feel like you .. deserved something.

you both remember the first night she’d acted on her desires like it was yesterday. it was on the night that you two had hosted a dinner party for all of your mutual close friends and people who you called family. the dinner was a 3-week-long process of grocery picking, tablecloth finding, invitation designing, and recipe collecting. it honestly stressed you out more than it did ellie because, to be honest, she was kind of just there for moral support. it was your idea, after having had maria over for dinner once. and it was a great idea. but it left you drained – defeated from the final week of preparations, which was especially hectic. when you bathed that night, you bathed alone, a little overstimulated from the day. but you’d let ellie run the bath, though. only because she insisted on doing so.

the soak cured some of the ache that settled deep into your joints, muscles, and bones.. but not all of it. after you'd set the tub to drain, brushed your teeth, and wrapped a towel around your body, you entered the room with an expected level of silence. you slathered moisturizer on your face, over your arms, over your stretch marks. when it came time to take off your jewlery, the rings – except the prized one – came off easily. but when it came to your necklace, your hands were simply too slippery. you sucked your teeth. you always did this.

you eventually sighed, filling your lungs to call:

hey, bug. can you come help me take this necklace off, please?

ellie eventually would appear behind you, probably shuffling off of the bed or rounding some corner after changing and becoming into her own definition of comfortable. if she seriously complained, you didn’t hear it. you only felt her, how her hand placed itself on your shoulder just to let you know that she was behind you.

some things never change, move your hair over.

you do as asked, and hang your head. ellie's fingers brush against your skin with a kind of delicacy that makes shivers run down your spine. you lift your eyes, catching ellie's in the mirror before you. yours, heavier than hers.

you watched as she fought a smile, or a smirk. either was a given with her, honestly — in retrospect, it was most likely the latter. you couldn’t really tell, though. she’d dipped her head, eyes fixated on her fingers that fiddled with your necklace clasp.

you did a really nice job on the dinner, tonight.

suddenly, you were the one fighting the smile. you watched her, still.

yeah?

oh, you like.. completely knocked it out of the park. you did great. it was really, really really nice.

you didnt know if ellie was referring to the food, or the setup, or the wine choices – whichever. but something about the appraisal made your head buzz, like you were coming down off a two glasses of champagne (which.. maybe you were). ellie successfully removed your necklace, and yet didn’t back away. instead, she pressed herself closer to your back, and tilted her head so that she could speak just above the top of your ear,

you looked really nice, too.

been waiting for you to settle down, a bit. so i could tell you.

you probably hummed something in response, something that was probably suggestive but also thankful at the same time. it gets lost, though. because ellie bent down, and placed these slow, unassuming, appreciative kisses down your neck, and against the plateau of your shoulder. between those words and the way her hands lingered over your skin, the way she was breathing you in and drinking up the moment, and your scent, made you melt into her way too easily. like butter in a warm pan.

you exhale, like you've been meaning to for .. you don't even know how long.

el..

mhm?

you realize though, that the house is quiet. too quiet. there is a stillness to it that makes the pit of your stomach twist, and anxiety and guilt bubble in the base of it before you could even stop it.

...where's our baby?

you felt ellie grin against your shoulder. she masked it with a peck,

he’s at joel’s.

and then you felt her tongue drag across your skin. a long, open-mouthed kiss across the midpoint of your neck. she presses the padding of her tongue against tender flesh, sucks hard enough for blood to make the skin bloom, and almost -- against your own will -- makes your eyes roll shut.

the simple act -- acts rather, of ellie coordinating behind your back to have the baby taken off your hands (you knew it for a few days �� it's always a few days). she thought she was so slick. it was odd, how much relief those three words gave you,

but at the same time, you kind of wanted to be mad at her.

it was hard to, though. but you couldn't think straight, with how her hands were moving over you, over your towel. with her pelvis pressed against your ass, and her lips on your neck.

you tried,

he was fine here. everything was .. fine, ellie.

but she was so..

i never said everything wasn't fine.

i just think... you've had a really long, stressful week.

you hate how your body reacts to ellie's hands smoothing up your towel. your whole body broke out into goosebumps, seemingly trying to fit into the pores of ellie's palm,

and i think i wanna make it better.

ellie's breath was hot on your ear, and you didn’t realize it, but your head was already tilted. your eyes had begun to flutter closed. you felt yourself, almost swaying against her. your mouth hung as her teeth grazed over sensitive flesh. her tongue pressed against familiar spots that had been untouched -- like the rest of you -- for so, so long. it was too activating.

in your best effort of defense, you spun yourself to turn around to face her. ellie’s head was tilted, her eyes were low. her breath spanned over your mouth while your palm laid flat against her chest. you stalled – shivering, shaking, suddenly caught in a rapture of toiling emotion that you hadn't felt that strongly in .. god knows how long.

her head dipped back into your neck. she pressed her cotton-clad hips against your towel-covered ones, and it just wasn’t enough. it was a lot, and yet, not enough.

your hand snaked over the nape of her neck as you breathed against your cheek, whole body feeling heavy and compliant. your knees were jelly. you could feel your clit. pulsing, and pleading. it ached as you feel ellie's hand slip over the backs of your thighs, inching under the cusps of your ass.

you needed something. you needed anything. you like to think that you had no idea what necessity meant before this moment, because you had never felt it so strongly. it knocked the wind out of you, only leading you to ask – to plead, without pleading,

e... ellie?

and she understood.

ellie’s head lifted from the crook of your neck she crashed her lips upon yours. the kiss was heavy, and deep. your knees buckled, and where you swore you may fall, she made sure you didn’t. you were shuddering, a hand suddenly possessive around the back her neck. her hands suddenly possessive and stabilizing with the grips she held on your ass. months worth of unknown tension relinquished itself in the pushes and pulls you demanded from each other's bodies while teeth clattered and bit into chapped flesh, turned glossy. moans and breaths circumvented between the two of you, and suddenly, the whole room felt like it was on fire.

she delivered a verbal command, teeth tugging at your lower lip as she half-way parted from it,

jump.

you’d used whatever remainder of your energy to follow the simple instruction, your legs wrapping around ellie's waist like she was your lifeline. they remained around her as your back fell against the duvet, and as she kissed you so deep, your head ran dizzy and your body was left no choice but to arch into her.

you remember your hand smoothing over her abdomen, and reaching up to grab her chest. you remember sighing into her mouth over the fact that you could. you relished in the moan she released your mouth, and only returned it halfway.

you remember gripping her and massaging her and bucking your bare hips up against her in hopes of making her make that noise again, louder. you remember how she bucked her hips into you in hopes of the same sentiment, her waistband grazing against your bair clit cauisng her to succeed far quicker than you.

the night was filled with mind-blurring, fuck-until-the-sun-rises kind of sex. sex that you had no idea your body had needed until ellie had given it to you. your body reeled with every kiss that she'd placed over your skin – you’d watched as she peeled back your towel, and replaced bits and segments of the fabric with her lips in soft, attentive kisses. it was hard to believe that they would transpire into messy, sloppy things. wet, tantilizing things that would trek down the axis of your body. that would hold your body hostage as her tongue and her lips worked on your clit to bring you closer and closer to your third orgasm of the hour.

your body wasn’t used to it. any of it. it was, however, too used to and hyperaware of having a tiny human in the house that you simply couldn’t wake at this time of night.

you were shuffling, at one point, scrambling to put a hand on your mouth, or to bite your own knuckle. when that didn’t work, you let your head fall over to a pillow while you fucked up against ellie’s tongue and bit the fabric, trying so hard not to moan. but you felt yourself cracking.

you’ll never forget how ellie looked up at you. eyes a deep, pointed shade of green as she shook her head – mouth still attached to your clit – which in and of itself had almost made you cry. when she pulled away, it was the only time you let yourself make a noise. only because the whine that was ripped out of you was entirely unanticipated, just like her action.

her breath rippled over your the nerves as she ran her fingertip up, and down your hole. you whimpered, hips shifting up relfexivley, cunt tightening just from the invitation. nearly gushing from the feeling of her beginning to small rub circles against it, instead.

i’ve missed you so fucking much.

she dipped a finger inside of you with such ease, and no warning. a long, slender digit bottomed out inside your cunt, before she pushed in another, and made your jaw go slack. her eyes hung on yours – glossed over with lust and a bit narrow as a result of the devious smile that’d begun to overtake her expression.

she’d begun pumping her fingers.

he’s not here, baby.

it’s just us.

her fingers were so fucking long, you swore to god, you would never want a life without them in it. couldn’t bear another 3, 4, 5 months without having them in you. jesus fuck.

wanna hear you.

wanna hear you be as loud as you fuckin’ want.

ellie emphasized her words by proceeding to fuck you faster. her tongue latched back onto your clit, rolling over and slurping at the nerves, rolling beads of saliva and your juices into and against the bundle. the sound of your cunt was so encompassing, it was hard to believe that it became the backdrop for the moans that ellie had ripped out of you. that made it into, and mostly out of, the pillow, amidst a sea of praise and bucking hips.

the next morning was luxuriuosly unproductive. ellie had only woke to feed the animals and returned to bed and slept with you until noon. she was always affectionate, come mornings. but especially riding off of the honeymoon buzz of the night prior, she made the morning after memorably tender, often pressing kisses to your forehead, and your shoulder, regardless of how awake both you or she was. she’d whisper sweet nothings into your ear, promises of how much she loved you. how she’s really glad this is how she gets to spend her life, as long as it’s with you. all of the sugary things that eventually caramelize into jokes and giggles and laughter, and that how you’d know it was time to get up.

it’s safe to say that parenthood brought you and ellie both very interesting things. it brought you challenges, and it brought you lows. it brought you highs, and photographs, and moments where you did feel like all of your hard-work was paying off, even when it didn’t seem that way. having a family meant having the opportunity to open your house up to people you who you loved. having a family meant having traditions, and things to fall back on – things that you would develop over time, as you learned more and discovered more of what you wanted. and having a family with ellie meant that you could fall back on each other, no matter how tough things got.

.. it also just meant sometimes having really.. really good sex.

(whenever you remembered that that was something that the two of you could actually do, that is.)

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams smut #joel miller #the last of us smut #literally no one asked for this i just needed this #it's pretty valid i guess #i always notice its so easy to just write thoughts that come to my mind as opposed to like Hovering over one idea for like 2 months #idk that's wild #i feel like i have texts that are literally just written a lot prettier but like #i like the vibe setup #i just can’t reread it anymore or else i get really like critical and for good reason but bleh #actually no (10am mia speaking)#this is probably like fine im gonna give myself the benefit of the doubt #i Finished it which was Good i'm gonna pat myself on the back #good job mia!!!!!

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differenteagletragedy · 7 months

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would you be ever so kind as to spare some OL2 headcanons or crumbs 🤲🤲

If you don’t wanna write for OL2 then OLBA is just as amazing!!!!!!

Hi! I will eventually write for OL2 I'm sure, but I haven't gotten through the demo yet! Right now I'm at the beginning of the first day of school -- I keep getting pulled back into the first one because it has such a chokehold on me lol.

But I was writing these for OLBA so I'll put them here! Thank you!!!

-- Do you like trashy reality shows? Good for you. Cove's not really into it, but he'll watch with you if you want him to. Derek can definitely have some fun with it. But Baxter turns into a monster.

MC answering their phone: Hey, what's up?

Baxter: DID YOU SEE, *this person* from *this show* got arrested.

MC: Aren't you supposed to be working?

Baxter: I saved the mug shot to my photos, I am sending it to you via text right now.

(Client in the background complaining)

Baxter: I do have to get off the phone now, but if you hear anything else call the office and tell them it's an emergency, they'll put you through to me.

-- If you go the Derek romance route, I think you make out once in high school. Because hormones, you've crushed on each other for years, and like it just happens. And then after he's very unwell, he keeps apologizing, and either your really shy and nervous about it or like "no it's ok, that was nice," but either way he's like "HAVE TO GO, TTYL." He doesn't talk to you for a little bit but then feels bad.

MC: Derek, I like you in a romantic way. I want you to be my boyfriend. I liked kissing you and I want to kiss you again.

Derek: Haha that was crazy, so how's school going?

-- Derek is good with cars. Big muscles make car go vroom.

Like there would have been a time when you got a flat tire and you either didn't know how to change it or blanked on what Cliff told you (Cliff taught you how to change a tire, no questions) and called him like "help" and he dropped everything and drove to wherever you were to change it for you.

-- He's also good with mechanical fixes, and just with his hands in general. Is your sink messed up? Call Derek. Some issue with your stove? Call Derek. Creaky door? You already know. (You have to do stuff for him too though, that's the rules).

-- Back to Cliff though, you know those videos of men like "I'm going to teach you some dad stuff" for people who grew up without dads? That's Cliff. Obviously your moms are amazing, but Daddy Cliff is going to step in too sometimes.

-- Cliff teaching MC how to tie a tie, just imagine.

-- Baxter goes home alone after Miranda's birthday party/the second party for him and finishes off that bottle of champagne because he knows that summer's almost over and he's going to do A Bad Thing and he hates himself.

-- Honestly it hurt my feelings so much at the end of Step 3 lol, like I was genuinely taken aback by his goodbye scene. Asking MC why they'd keep talking when he couldn't give them rides anymore like that's all they were interested in, the audacity.

-- Cove has the whole game, he's gonna be ok, we're talking about other people this time.

-- In adulthood, MC looks back at that time they learned their birth parents died when they were a baby, had a quick breakdown then went back home and did a musical performance for their family as one of the cringiest moments of their life (I'm not using second person this time because I don't want to sound judgey but LOL come on). They'll tell Derek about it later on when they're together and he'll be like "aww, that sounds sweet," and Baxter will be nice about it too, but he'll also have some comments to make.

Baxter: Darling, my plant at the office seems to be dying, could you perhaps do a song and dance number to ease my pain?

MC: Shut uuuuuup.

-- Last week gb patch made a post on Patreon with a new sketch for OLNF with wedding planner Baxter, so like the oldest Baxter we'll see in cannon, and he was wearing a cream turtleneck, a purple overcoat, and what looked to me to be a peach colored gingham suit. So by the time he gets to be like 40, his fashion sense is going to be off the rails. He's going to call you and be like "I just went shopping, I hope you like my new look," and come home like:

#our life beginnings and always #olba #our life #baxter ward #cove holden #derek suarez #our life headcannons #our life cove #our life baxter #our life derek #cliff holden #olba baxter #olba cove #olba derek

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andromedastarrs · 28 days

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Miguel O'Hara - Random Headcanons, All SFW! :)

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Y'all enjoyed the other post a lot so here-- have some more of my brain rot! All of these are just fun things lol, interactions and quirks!

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If he spots you and notices that you have bad posture, he'll point it out and tell you to straighten up. Even if others are around. "Unless you wanna live with back pain till the rest of your life..."

Clean cursive would probably be his preferred font to write in. When he prints his letters it's a total mess.

Definitely does not tolerate people who chew with their mouth open. He will glare at you, grab his plate, and move away.

Takes freezing cold showers. Headcanon because every health nut/gym person that I've met says it's the best for muscle recovery.

Doesn't like to watch TV in his free time, he's in front of screens all day. He spends it instead reading books, cleaning up his living area, putting on music and resting on his couch to let his mind relax.

Loud dad sneezes. Doesn't apologize for it.

Likes his coffee black. On his rest days though, he will add a little milk in there to treat himself.

Will order the biggest burger off the menu and successfully chomp at it with no issue. A part of me also thinks it would be in character for him to order a small meal and eat very... Well, he'd eat like a princess. LMFAO.

Is not religious but very respectful of every religion. I think if he were to have a spiritual S/O and they practiced a religion he didn't know much about he'd wanna learn about it by asking them questions.

I am TIRED of the racist Miguel allegations. I am a firm believer that because he is half Irish and half Mexican, if he were to be present in front of a racist, he wouldn't tolerate it. Also headcanon that he's not the arguing type. He'll just throw them out a window (exaggerating).

He loves cats and dogs, very gentle with both. Knows how to treat both correctly too. Doesn't own any pets though, he's scared of losing it one day.

Silently cries. Even when alone he's very quiet. His eyes get very red and so does his face, very quickly. No puffy eyes tho!

No time for skincare, but he's into biotech... Probably assuming too much, but if he could then why wouldn't he; he probably concocted some sort of "one in all" skin product.

On that note his hygiene is on point! He'd probably be so upset if he ever stunk.

Definitely dyes his hair. I do not believe that he doesn't have a single grey strand up there. If his S/O once said they liked the grey hairs, he'd probably chuckle... And then keep dying it anyways.

I think he'd choose to wear shorts over pants when given the chance to... Even jorts. It's ok, he looks good wearing them!

I think he'd like silver jewelry even though gold looks better on him. (He can pull off both *lip bite*.)

Doesn't like designer logos printed everywhere over his accessories/clothing.

Am i the only one that thinks he works out via Pilates AND weight training? Gotta stay flexible and stretched!

Likes to meditate, almost never has time to do so.

Sleep talker!

Very self aware of his size; hates accidentally coming into contact with other people.

Caught up with modern lingo in most places, doesn't participate in conversations surrounding it. "Have you heard what lingo the kids are using? It's absolutely bonkers--" "Yeah."

Try to talk to him in a silly language (think of that skibidi toilet shit), he'll respond instantly. Don't get the wrong idea, he won't be amused by your antics.

If he doesn't show interest in you then he's not interested in you. I'm a big believer that if you were crushing on him, you'd have to wait for HIM to show interest. Otherwise all your flirting will be rendered useless.

#fanfiction #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse

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jasntodds · 1 year

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Caving In [15]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,783

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of Jason wanting to kill himself from last chapter, canon violence, some fluff kind of

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I am changing canon a little bit so we see Jason again next chapter lol Also, so I had issues with this chapter and ended up dropping my Gar plot 😅 I got advice from my best friend and that’s where I landed lol it was not working at all and reader seemed like such an asshole and it was not fun to write so I changed it lol Luckily, not that much of my plot changes after this chapter but ya know, that’s why this is late lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Jason and you pause, looking at Dick. Jason looks a bit broken and defeated but you look like you’re about to throw Dick off the edge of the roof. After all of that, after you both get kidnapped and permanently fucked up, now Dick is gonna take some type of responsibility for it. Jason is still limping a little, he thinks no one notices but you and Gar do. And now Dick is saying it’s his fault. Where was he a week ago? Where was he fifteen minutes ago when everyone decided to attack Jason for something he didn’t even do?

“Can you come inside? I’ll explain everything.” Dick asks and you look to Jason.

Jason looks hopeless and tired. and he’s quiet. Jason is anything but quiet. Maybe you should give it all a rest. Maybe it’d be easier if you agreed with Dick and let him say whatever he has to say and just be a silent form of comfort for Jason. But, you’ve never been very good at biting your tongue, even when you should. And especially, when someone you care about is any type of pain.

You turn back around. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, right?" You snarl. "Jason nearly jumped off a roof and NOW you wanna take the blame for something?! Dick, literally what the fuck? Do you maybe wanna first tell the other Titans they're fucking assholes because they're in there defending you so fucking hard that we're out here!!!! You're supposed to protect us! And now you wanna come clean about Deathstroke's son?!" You glare at him, your jaw squared and Jason is shielded right behind you. Your hands start to glow and acid leaks from your balled fists.

Jason reaches forward, resting his hand on your shoulder and squeezing. Jason's never had anyone defend him as hard as you do. He's not sure anyone has ever even cared that much about him. You losing control of your powers in your sleep is one thing, but right now, you’re wide awake but you’re so mad at everyone that you’re losing control of it. Jason isn't going to let you completely lose it, not over him even if it means more than he'll ever say. You look back at him and Jason shakes his head, his eyes still glossy and red.

You want to keep fighting. You’re just so furious at everyone that it's like you can feel herself slipping into insanity. It's like the trauma of everything over the last few years is all coming to the surface in one go. Every ounce of anger you weren't allowed to feel, is ranging back through the back of your throat. Your entire body feels like it's being thrown into the sun but you look at Jason and it just...fades. Not completely because you think you'll mad about this forever but it fades enough for you to take breath because he doesn't want you to fight Dick on this. The glowing of your hands fade and you open and close your fists a few times and bite your tongue, for Jason's sake.

You turn back around, facing Dick. "Whatever." You groan with the roll of your eyes. "But you fucking suck, too."

“Fuck it.” Jason scoffs.

You look down at your hands, making sure they're safe before you reach back and grab Jason's hand in yours. Jason follows close behind you and keeps his hand in yours on your walk back to the kitchen. It seems to calm you down and it seems to ground him.

When the three of you reach the kitchen, everyone is still waiting in the kitchen. Everyone is mostly scattered about, even Rose has joined the party. Dick declares he has something to tell all of you so Jason lets go off your hand, taking a seat at a table and you head over towards the sink to sit by Gar. You shake your head at him and rolls your eyes.

“Is Jason okay?” Gar’s voice is laced with worry.

“I’ll tell you later.” You whisper to him before Dick addresses the room with his confession.

“I lied.” Dick states as he finishes the story. “I lied to you guys because I was afraid you guys would leave this place and me. And if that happened, there would be no Titans. And I lied to you, too.” Dick lets out a breath. “I told you guys Jericho was dead when I got to the church. But he wasn’t. He was alive. He died trying to save me from his father. I’m sorry.” Dick looks to the ground and crosses his arms. “You all deserve more.”

The room falls completely silent. Everyone processing what Dick has just confessed but Hank is the first one to make a move. Hank gets up slowly and then walks over to Dick. Everyone in the room remains completely silent, waiting to see what Hank is gonna say. But, then, Hank doesn’t say anything. He punches Dick in the face. Dawn quickly jumps up to move Hank away from Dick.

“You lying sack of shit.” Hank grits his teeth at Dick as Dawn pulls him away, Kory standing up from her spot near the living room.

“How many fucking half-truths have you told us?” Donna asks, not moving her spot by the snack bar, her voice holding annoyance.

“At least you got a half-truth.” Rachel says and just hearing her voice, you wants to explode.

You’re mad at Dick but a part of you understands why he would lie. If any of the younger Titans knew it was his fault Jericho died, none of you would trust him. You’re supposed to trust him with your lives but he went and got another kid killed and by his own father no less. Of course, you wouldn’t trust him to keep you safe. It doesn’t excuse him from lying because it caused this huge mess, for you and Jason specifically. But, you do get it and Jericho trying to save Dick, was still his decision. Mad as you might be, you’re almost certain Dick would do that for any of you. It's what you're supposed to do, right? What the Titans are supposed to do? Put your lives at risk for not only the greater good but also each other? Rachel is always on Dick's side, if anyone should understand any of this, it should be Rachel. Why is everyone flipping so easily?

“So, me and Jason got kidnapped and tortured because of you?” You ask and Dick makes eye contact with you before barely glancing at Jason and then looking to floor. “Alright then.” You scoff and Gar puts his hand over yours, giving your a look of sympathy.

“My brother’s dead because of you.” Rose states, glaring harshly at Dick. “I’m out.”

Jason stands up as Rose goes to leave the room. “I’m going with her.”

“Jason--” Dick starts, looking back to him.

“You don’t get to decide what I do anymore, what anybody does.” Jason states before turning around and heading down towards the hallway.

You look at Gar a bit panicked. Jason? Leaving? And with Rose? It makes sense given what Jason told you earlier but maybe he should go back to Gotham if he wants to leave. Dick almost got him killed, you don’t blame him but it hurts anyway. And Gar’s heart is in his stomach. Gar thought you’d all be a team and Jason is his best friend. He doesn’t want to lose him because Dick made a bad decision.

“I’m out, too.” Donna glares at Dick as she pushes herself away from the counter and heads out of the room.

“I’m going with Donna.” Rachel pipes up, hopping off of the counter. Gar snaps his attention towards them and now another friend of his is leaving. “Can I go with you?” Rachel asks as Donna stands in front of her.

“Sure?” Donna questions.

“Rachel.” Gar pipes up.

“I can’t stay here.” Rachel says before turning away from you and Gar.

“Let’s go.” Hank says to Dawnn and the two of them start to leave without another word.

Gar’s eyes grow glossy as he watches all of the Titans start to leave. “Kinda messed of Dick.” Gar’s voice is so small.

“Hold the fuck up.” You groan, not moving from your spot but the Titans look to you. “Seriously? You guys are just...giving up on him?”

“Give it a rest.” Hank’s jaw is squared.

“You defended Dick left and right and now that he comes clean about shit, you’re just gonna bail? What kind of fucking team are you people?" You don't even sound angry right now. Gar isn't sure if he be more worried about that than you being furious. "I mean if the roles were reversed and Jason were Dick, I wouldn’t leave. You guys almost got Jason to kill himself and for what? To bail because Dick lied to protect all of us? It’s fucked up, sure, but at least he had a good enough reason. What the fuck ever.” You bite the bitter taste of disappointment.

The Titans are not the heroes you once looked up to. None of them are. You’re a firm believer in not giving up people easily. You’re not an easy person to believe in and you’re aware of it. But, your best friend didn't give up on you in Gotham, your mom never did, Gar hasn't, Jason definitely hasn't, and Dick didn't. People are deserving of second-chances. As Titans, as heroes, they should know that better than anyone. But none of them have anything to say, they all just walk off.

And because things couldn’t get more disappointing, Kory’s phone goes off and she takes a second to type a quick message before she starts to walk away, too.

“You’re leaving, too?” Dick asks.

“Got some loose ends to take care of. Sorry.” Kory says softly before she closes the distance between them and rests a hand on Dick’s arm. “At least it’s out now.” She pauses. “The truth.” Dick nods. “I’m sure they’ll get over it soon.” Kory assures him before she leaves the three of you, too.

Gar has tears in his eyes and it breaks your heart. The Titans are leaving Dick but in the process, they’re also leaving Gar. Jason, completely understandable. There’s a weird history between him and Dick anyway because of Bruce. That’s understandable but Rachel. Rachel should be staying. Everyone leaving is hurting more than just Dick.

“Interesting how I’m one of two people still sitting here.” You mutter with the quick raise of your brows, Dick’s looking at you with sympathy. Surprised you even came to his defense in the first place. “Look, Dickolas,” You hop down from your place on the counter.

You can't believe you’re doing this. Defending Dick? Understanding Dick's motivation? Maybe you’ve also lost your mind. But, you just watched your best friend completely shatter and you’re not going to watch Dick do the same. Not without making an effort to prevent it. The reality is that Dick and Jason were taken in by the same person. Both of them are not great at communicating and some of that probably has to do with Bruce. This is something that's clearly eaten away at Dick and words matter. You don't want to talk another person down from the ledge today. So, you swallow the anger you feel towards him and let's yourself just feel empathy.

“Y/n, don’t.” Gar pleads with you.

“I gotta say my shit on this.” You let out a sigh and walk over to Dick. “Look, fuck you, first of all. Me and Jason almost died because of you and you started this shit here today in the grand scheme of things. But, fuck, alright you were raised by fucking Bruce who clearly isn’t very good at it. And you did try your best. Maybe, I was wrong about what it means when someone says that.” You shake your head as you shrug your shoulders. “Because you did.” There’s no snark in your voice, no sarcasm. It’s just sympathetic. “It backfired to hell and back but….at least you fucking tried to keep all of us safe and that’s doing a whole lot more than a lot of people have done for me and Jason and Gar. So, fuck you because that’s shitty. But, I don’t think everyone should give up on you either.” You suck in a breath. “You didn't give up on me.” You chew the inside of your cheek as you furrow your brows. You suck in a breath and clear your throat. “Anyway.” You spin around to look at Gar. “I’m gonna try to convince Jason to stay, wanna help?”

Gar shakes his head and there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. He didn’t think you’d say any of that to Dick, ever. He didn't think you would ever even side with Dick if Dick were right about something. But it was nice and Gar knows that probably wasn't easy for you to say, especially right now. And as for Dick, he's getting the sense you’re gonna be okay. Of all people in this tower, you’re the one siding with him. He can't believe it but it does mean something to him. Maybe he hasn't completely failed all of you.

“If he’ll listen to anyone, it’s you.” Gar nods at you.

“I’ll meet you back out here when I’m done.” You smile softly at him and head towards Jason’s room.

You walk to Jason’s room and you’re trying to think of what you can tell him to convince him to stay that isn’t about you or Gar. It’s a little selfish of you to ask him to stay for either of you. But, you need him. You chose Gar but Jason is your best friend. He means everything to the both of you and neither of you want to see him take off and make bad decisions because of one bad decision Dick made. The way you see it, Dick didn’t kill Jericho. It’s Dick’s actions that lead to Jericho getting killed but Jericho was protecting Dick. There was a reason for that. And you hold onto that. So, you knock on Jason’s door and open it slowly seeing him pack a bag by his bed.

“Hey.” You greet him sadly, leaving the door open.

“You can’t fucking stop me.” Jason snaps at you, throwing some clothes into a bag.

You look to the floor and stick your hands into your hoodie pouch. “Yeah…thought I’d try though.” Seeing him pack, it puts him leaving into reality and you really, really don't want to him to leave and it starts getting heavy again.

Jason looks over at you and see your eyes starting to gloss over. The hardened expression grows softer. You look desperate. "Are you okay?" Jason switches it to you, not just because it's what he does. You just talked him down, screamed at the Titans for ten minutes in his defense, and found out it's all Dick's fault. He is worried about how you’re going to handle all of this.

You pause and your heart is somewhere between thundering and stopping. The lump grows in your throat and this is getting to be a little too much. The adrenaline from being angry is crashing and now you just feels sad. Your eyes start to burn while your stomach grows nauseous. It’s too loud and too heavy and too fucking much.

You shake your head. "No." The word is so fragile, Jason swears if he breathes too heavily the world will shatter around you. "I'm....uh, I'm just so fucking mad at them." You suck in a heavy breath, dodging Jason's eyes. “You...you-you just...don’t deserve it.” You shake your head, looking to the ground, brows furrowed and you swear you can't breathe. "You-you deserve, you deserve better." You pull your hands out of your hoodie pouch, tugging the sleeves over your hands as they shake so bad you almost can't grab the sleeve. "It's...I don't know." You finally look up to him. "And I don't want you to leave." You suck in a breath as if that breath is gonna put all of this back together again.

Jason shakes his head and it’s agonizing listening to you try to get the words out. His chest feels like he’s being punched over and over again. “I can’t fucking stay here. He fucking lied. I almost fucking died because of that shit. You almost died.” Jason's eyes go to your hands, still shaking and he walks over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. His eyes lock with yours, his left eye still a light shade of yellow from the healing bruise. But the action alone, grounds you. You’re able to suck in a full breath with his hands on your shoulders. "They're assholes, okay? I'll be fine once I'm away from all of them."

"You almost walked off a roof half an hour ago, Jay." Your eyes water.

"But I didn't." Jason states. "I'll be fine once I'm far the fuck away from any of them, alright?"

"They're all leaving." Your voice is almost pleading with him.

"All?" Jason questions as if to not believe you.

"Rachel's leaving with Donna, Hank and Dawn are leaving together, obviously. Kory's leaving, to. She has a thing, I guess." You pause and Jason's hands slide down your arms. "It's just..Gar, Dick, and me. Dick sucks but Gar and me are pretty okay."

"I can't, not with Dick still here." Jason keeps his stance, ignoring the feeling of his chest caving in and he drops his hands entirely away from you.

He moves back to the bed and continues to pack his clothes. It’s hard for him, too. You’ve done more for him than most people have. You mean so much to him that he can’t even imagine his life without you in it anymore. He knows it’s what’s best for him but leaving, leaving you, makes him feel like his chest is wide open and bleeding.

You hang your head. Every reason you have to convince him to stay is selfish. He’s standing here telling you he can’t stay because it’s what’s best for him. And you still want to convince him and that’s just selfish. It’s gonna be painful with him leaving. You’re going to worry about him the whole time. He means everything to you. You like hanging out with him. You like being around him. He makes you feel fucking normal. The weight of the world doesn’t feel like it could crush you at any moment when he’s around. Every single reason you come to, is about how you feel and not about what is actually best for Jason.

It’s right now, with the undeniable fact that Jason is leaving, that’s him. You like Gar, of course you do. What’s not to like? But, there’s Jason and this agonizing thunder in your chest is practically crippling and all he’s doing is leaving. He’ll call you and text you. But it feels like this is the end of everything. If it weren’t Jason, it wouldn’t hurt this bad.

You wouldn’t feel like you’re bleeding out. It’s always been Jason as much as you want to deny it because it’s easier that way, it is. Because Jason is the one you felt the most comfortable with to tell him what happened first, because he went with you to Jerry’s without any judgment or anger, because he welcomed you into his own world. Because, despite everything, Jason feels comfortable and safe and thrilling and fun. Jason feels like a rollercoaster, right before the drop or a loop. You know you’re safe, but your stomach drops anyway and there’s a thrill that comes with it. It’s safe but thrilling and that’s what it feels like around Jason. Around Jason, the world is not heavy because when it gets heavy, he crawls under it with you and he helps lift that weight so you aren’t alone in it. Because you tell Jason that you’re not okay. Jason feels like home.

But, you bite every piece of that down because you cannot tell him. He will stay if you do. You kissed him anyway and he doesn’t want that. Not right now. If you tell him, you’re terrified he will stay and get worse. It’s not what’s best for him. And you can’t leave. You want to go with him but Gar has been there for you just as much as Jason has. You can’t leave Gar alone and telling Jason would mean choosing not just between them on a romantic level, but choosing between them on a friendship level and that is something you swear you will never do. So you swallow the shards of glass with every unspoken word scribbled across the pieces.

“I understand." The words feel like chewing gravel. "I'm...I am really gonna miss you, then, Jay."

Jason almost turns around, your voice is broken and desperate. He almost turns around because he feels bad this hurts you. It shouldn't. He never should have meant that much to you but he does. He almost looks at you but if does, he'll stay and he knows he can't. He doesn't belong here. He's never fit in. Dick has never wanted here. He would rather be on his own than someplace he isn't even wanted.

There's a silence that consumes you both and it's as if you exist in your own bubble. It's always kind of like that when it's just the two of you. It's just Jason and you. The world gets quiet, you both can breathe, and the heaviness is easier to carry. When you're together, alone, you exist in a bubble that protects you both from the outside world. Even with Deathstroke. That whole experience would have been so much and so much more terrifying if you didn't have each other. And right now, your bubble surrounds you, it's filled with heartache and guilt, unsaid words that you both swear will never see the light of day. But, then your bubble gets popped.

Rose walks in, seeing you watching Jason with Jason's back to you. She plops in one of Jason's chairs before deciding to break the silence. “What? Trying to get him to stay?”

You feel the sadness completely fade into more anger with Rose speaking. It consumes every piece of sadness that embedded itself in your chest. You roll your eyes nearly into the back of your head. You don’t have the mental capacity to deal with her, too.

“Is that any concern of yours?” You ask, keeping your back to her.

“He’s coming with me.”

You look over your shoulder to Rose. “Cool.” You shrug one shoulder and turn back around to Jason. “Look, you’re our best friend and we respect your decision but….uh, ya know, we just worry about you.” You do not want to have this conversation with Rose in the room. It’s none of her fucking business. What is said between you and Jason, stays that way.

“I'm gonna be fine.” Jason shakes his head and if Dick would leave, he’d stay. But with Dick here, he can’t.

“You care about him,” Rose’s voice is snarky from behind you and you feel your entire emotional stability start to slip. You will explode again. You’re fed the fuck up with all of this shit. “But Dick treats him like shit and so do the rest of the Titans. They’ll all come back eventually.”

You narrow your eyes and there is something about Rose that doesn’t make sense. You don’t know what it is but there’s something rubbing you the wrong way. It’s not jealousy, you’re certain of that because it doesn’t feel warm like that. There’s something else and it hits you that it’s the way she just said how the tower treats Jason. Everyone treats Jason like shit besides you and Gar. You’re the only two that ever gave Jason a chance to not be a shithead. Sure, maybe Rose gave Jason the same, but you find it a little weird.

“Do you wanna shut the fuck up?” You look at her, blinking quickly.

"If you're really his friend, you'd want what's best for him." Rose quips. "Do you even have a good reason for him to stay?"

"Literally, this sounds like we're fighting over him which I'm not gonna do." You pause and turn to fully face her. "No, it's why I simply asked him instead of outright convincing him. I don't have a reason that's not fucking selfish." Jason glances over his shoulder and he wonders what the hell that could possibly mean. "Is there a reason you, specifically, want him to go with you instead of going home?" You raise the question and Jason has slowed his packing to watch the two of you argue.

"He isn't wanted there either." Rose states and you’re taken aback by the comment.

Does she know Jason at all? Home is home. It doesn't matter how fucking shitty Gotham is, that place is home. You know for a fact that is his home because he doesn't think you’re insane for wanting to go back. The only people who don't think that's completely insane are Gotham people. There is something else going on here and for a second, you want to play every single card you have against Jason to get him to stay. Regardless on if it's good for him or not because going with Rose, right about now, seems like a bad fucking decision, too.

"Interesting." You nod your head. "Right, so it's not because you're hooking up and you're choosing to go with saying he isn't wanted there to engrain more negative thoughts into his head so he'll go with you?" You question. "Which, by the way, pretty shitty fucking move considering what just happened."

Jason snickers softly to himself. He's not exactly sure who would win in a fistfight but he's certain you could win any argument you’re in. You will not back down against anyone. Especially when it's about him. Jason swears Rose has no idea what she's getting herself into and Jason isn't about to tell her. He is a little curious about what Rose's answer to any of this is.

"You still haven't given a reason for him to stay." Rose offers this condescending grin and your eye nearly twitches.

"You know what, I got one." You narrow your eyes at Rose. "I don't fucking like you." You snark, your voice stern and coursing with venom, Jason's full attention is now on the two of you. You liked Rose a few hours ago, this is getting interesting.

"Because you think we're hooking up? That's cute. What does Gar think?"

"Nope." You shake your head while a laugh leaves your lips. This isn't jealousy and you’re positive. "Why do you know it wasn't Jason?" You ask. "I mean, I know it wasn't him. But, why do you know that? You're positive it wasn't him. Why? You know him about as well as you know me or Gar or Rachel or Dick. So, why do you think it wasn't Jason? And don't say because you like him because we all know you're a lot smarter than that. So, why?"

Does it seem insane to accuse Rose? Absolutely. But the entire tower has lost their minds and you figure you might as well join them. If you shoot enough times, you’re bound to hit something. And Jason didn't do it but someone in this tower did. You’re gonna find out who it is if it's the last thing you do.

"Why would he?" Rose fires back.

"Exactly. But, see, I ask that question and you don't even point the finger at Rachel or Dick which, by the way, was who I would have said did it. So, why do you know it isn't Jason and why aren't you blaming anyone else in this tower?" You cross your arms. "If you care so much about him, that is, you'd be pointing at anyone else."

Jason glances in front of you to Rose and you’re making a point, a completely insane point but a point nonetheless. He's not entirely sure where you’re going with this but he is curious how Rose knows it wasn't him. It is nice that she knows it's not, but curious what the explanation is nonetheless.

"Okay, how do I know it wasn't you?" Rose questions.

You give a cold smile. "See, now you're using me as a scapegoat because I asked. I know it wasn't Jason because I was with him. He's either me, with Gar, with the both of us, or you. So, for you to know it wasn't Jason means you would also know it wasn't me or Gar. So, who do you think really did all of that?" You blink at her.

The dots connect right then and Jason is pretty sure you’re accusing Rose. He has no idea why she would. How would Rose know any of that shit? It's like him. He wouldn't know any of that, so Rose wouldn't. A part of him is a little annoyed by it because now it's seeming like you can't set aside your bias.

"Are you accusing her?" Jason huffs from behind you.

"Nah, just asking questions." You shrug your shoulders and Rose holds a stern face. You aren't sure how or why it would be Rose but you do find it interesting that Rose is certain without pointing the finger at anyone. You turn around, dropping the argument. Of all people, Rose isn't worth fighting. "I won't convince you." You back down and Jason is surprised. You don't back down from anything besides your game of chicken. "But, uh, just call and text, okay? Me and Gar both care about you." You offer a soft smile.

"Yeah, yeah, alright." Jason chuckles softly.

You walk over to him and pull him into a hug. "Just...promise me, you'll be careful?" You whisper to him and you feel him nod against your shoulder. "Good. If shit gets too loud..." You pauses and it really hurts saying goodbye to him. "I'll come find you, okay?" You pull away, keeping your hands on his shoulders and smile gently at him. "Always." You offer him a nod, the lump in your throat almost suffocating you.

Jason nods at you, his hands on your waist and he wishes it were just the two of you for this. It should be. It hurts him, too. You’re his best friend. She means the world to him. You’re the only person who ever understood him for who is, all the way through. His chest aches and it's like it's just bleeding, openly for you. But, he has to ignore it but he cannot stay here. It's too heavy.

"Same to you." Jason nods at you. "Just call."

You give him the saddest smile Jason has ever seen. "Of course. Have fun, Jason Todd." There's the slightest break in your voice and Jason always decides to stay. Just almost.

"Don't have too much fun." Jason winks at you and you roll your eyes.

"Shut the fuck." You groan as you head for the door, giving a quick glare to Rose on your way out.

You head back to the living room, heart heaving and aching. You sit beside Gar on the couch, Dick is outside on the balcony, likely wallowing. You rest your head on Gar's shoulder and Gar puts his arm around you, pulling you close against him. He knows you’ve gone through a lot and it'd be easier, probably, if you would leave with someone. But, he is always going to be grateful that you decided to stay with him. Gar can't give up Dick. Everyone else is and Gar believes in second chances. He has to stay. Someone has to stay. And he is so happy you’re staying with him because he needs you.

"Thank you for staying." Gar whispers to you and you pick your head up, brows furrowed. "I would just get it if you wanted to leave." Gar's voice is soft, almost expecting you to change your mind.

"I know uh, but, I've been running from things forever and..." You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. "They're all leaving anyway and you're here. I'm not gonna leave you with just Dick." You let out a weak laugh.

"Thank you." Gar offers you a grateful smile. "Are you okay?"

You nod your head and give Gar a fake smile. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Worried for Jason's sake." You swallow every reason you’re not okay and the words stick to your throat like static.

Just then, Jason and Rose enter from the hallway. Rose is already on her way to the elevator, not offering anything to you or Gar. Jason, on the other hand, offers you both a nod of his head. Gar gives him a sad smile but the smile you give him is broken and hollow before Jason heads to the elevator.

"Think he'll be back?" Gar asks.

You shake your head. "No, I think his mind is made up. I think Dick burned him too bad this time." You say quietly. "He said he'd call and text though, both of us." You assure him.

Gar nods his head. "I'm gonna miss him."

"We'll hunt him down if he doesn't call or text." You smile at Gar. "Dick will owe us and Jason will probably end up back with Bruce so we'll figure it out." You wiggle your brows and that gets Gar to laugh.

"Got it all planned out."

"Always do." You smile widely but your smile falls as you watch Hank and Dawn head for the elevator, pausing when they see you and Gar.

"Are you guys gonna be okay here?" Dawn asks, her voice as sweet as usual.

"Yeah, if you guys want, you can come with us. You don't have to stay here." Hank nods at the both of you, earning a soft glare from you.

"I wouldn't go with either of you if someone paid me." You scoff at the both of them, Gar letting out a sigh beside you. He gets your anger towards them but Gar doesn't have it in himself to be mad at everyone.

"We're okay." Gar offers a somber closed mouth smile at them. "Thank you though."

"If you need somewhere to go, call us, okay?" Dawn asks you.

"We will." Gar assures.

"I will not." You nod your head, blinking at them. "Can't--"

"Okay." Gar lets out a sigh, lightly nudging you and shaking his head, eyes pleading you not to argue anymore. Dawn and Hank don’t say another word before they leave.

"Sorry." You let out a breath. "I'm just so fucking mad." Your voice cracks. "You didn't....you didn't see him, Gar. Just..." There's desperation in your eyes. "I'm so fucking mad at them for how they treat him."

"I know." Gar nods. "Me, too. He's my best friend and them blaming him for stuff he didn't do, that's not right. But, it's not worth arguing. They're gone anyway."

"I know." You nod your head with understanding.

The two of you sit together, comfortable in silence together as you watch Rachel and Donna leave together and then Kory following not long after. It's a sad moment. You hold a lot of bitterness but you did like having the older Titans around. It's sad to watch them deteriorate over this. You don't really get it because Dick did apologize and he did it to protect them. It wasn't right but they should understand that. If you can, everyone should. And you just can't believe you feel bad for Dick, but you do.

Dick walks in and looks at you both with sad eyes. "I'm gonna leave, too." Dick nods once at you and Gar and you sit up straight, nearly jumping from your seats. "You guys can hold down the tower. I'm gonna pack but you guys got this." Dick says as he turns around, leaving the two of you in the living room.

"Uh....yeah, what the fuck?" You look at Gar.

"I'm gonna go to talk him." Gar gets up quickly and leaves, rushing to Dick's room.

You stay in the living room while Gar chases after Dick to try and convince him. Your heart is heavy in her chest, it feels like your shoulders are going to collapse. After everything, it all just keeps falling apart. You swore this place could be home, but now everyone besides Gar is leaving. Your best friend, the one you share so much with, the one who gets you better than anyone, the one who you fight back the burning in your stomach for, is left. Gar is here which is great but having everyone else leave, is making this hole in your heart that you can't quite explain. And maybe you swear you’re just tired because it's been a long two week and trauma is exhausting.

"Yeah, hey, hi, I got a question." You hear Gar as him and Dick come walking in from the hall near the kitchen. Gar is facing Dick, stopping him from moving. "What about the unconscious naked dude down the hall?" Gar asks as you get up from your spot, getting a view of Dick with a bag. Even Gar was unsuccessful in getting him to stay and your heart sinks further.

"He's your number one job." Dick says, eyes locked on Gar. "His vitals are steady. Just check on him every few hours but nothing to worry about." Dick explains while you move to stand beside Gar. "He's probably going to outlive us all." Dick pauses for a second. "When he wakes up, call Bruce." Gar perks up with the name.

"Bruce Wayne?" Gar asks without missing a beat.

"No, Bruce Springsteen." Dick states.

"Who?" Gar mumbles, voice slightly deflated.

Dick shakes his head. "Look, Conner will probably want to get in touch with Superman. Bruce can make that happen."

Gar crosses his arm, almost vibrating with excitement as a smile splits his face and it makes the hole in your heart not feel so deep. "So, him and Superman are like..."

"Just call him, okay?" Dick asks and Gar nods. "He's your number one job." Dick nods his head at Gar. "Yours, too." Dick looks to you and then back to Gar.

"Number one job." Gar confirms.

"Number one job." You let out a sigh.

"That's all you gotta do." Dick states.

"All I gotta do." Gar repeats and you give Dick a thumbs up.

"Thanks." Dick sticks out his hand but Gar slaps it away and brings Dick for a hug.

Once they pull away, Dick turns to face you and you’re a lot more upset about him leaving than you’d like to admit. You have your issues with him but you do respect him. At the end of the day, despite everything that happened, he did save your life a few months ago. Dick did do his best and it should have been good enough.

"Yeah, I'll take the handshake." You offer Dick a smile and stick out your hand. Dick chuckles softly, shaking your hand.

"I'll be back." Dick says and he walks to the elevator, Gar and you following behind him. Dick gets into the elevator, looking back at you and Gar who are stopped outside of the hall. "Keep the faith, guys." Dick says as the elevator doors close.

The elevator takes Dick down, leaving you and Gar alone with Krypto and an unconscious Conner down the hall. It's just you. This is the emptiest the tower has been since Gar arrived and he's gotta admit, he does not like it. Gar doesn't like being alone. He has you, of course, which he knows will be nice but it felt like such a family, even with the fighting. The fighting made it seem more like a family and he's really gonna miss it, miss everyone.

"Well..." You let out a breath. "Now what?" You squat down and start to pet Krypto.

Gar joins you. "I have no idea." Gar chuckles softly. "Same as always, I guess."

"Movies, video games, training?" You raise a brow at him.

"Any other suggestions?" Gar asks.

"Nope," You laugh softly. "I’m gonna train then, wanna come?"

"You sure? I mean, we haven't done much training since..."

You nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. It just, uh," Your brows furrow as you looks past Gar for just a second. "Needed that break."

"From Jason or training?" Gar asks hesitantly.

You wince with the question. "Both." You shrug as you stand up. "Coming?" You jerk your head towards the hallway.

"Yeah, of course." Gar grins, getting to his feet and gestures for Krypto to follow you.

The two of you make your way to the training room and start to warm up. You wonder if this is what it will be like. Still having the same training sessions but with just the two of you and then having breakfast, more training. You wonder if you'll start to slack off or if this will become more of a habit because there's nothing else to do in the tower. You can't very well leave until Conner wakes up so it's just you and Gar. The one thing you do know is that training will distract you from the heaviness in your chest.

On a list of things you never thought you would have to do it, talking someone down from a roof was high up on that list, especially that someone being your best friend. And of all people, you never expected it to be Jason. Jason is resilient and hard-headed and stubborn as twelve pack mules. But, Deathstroke seemed to break some piece in him and then everyone turned on him. They confirmed every horrible thought he had ever had about himself. Even the most resilient people have a breaking point and Jason hit his today. And it's something that will haunt you and you think about it as you stretch, swearing that has to be one of the most selfish thoughts you’ve ever had.

It didn't happen to you, being haunted by it shouldn't happen but you’re worried about him. You’re here alone with Gar and your only thought is being worried about Jason because he tried to walk off a fucking roof after being dropped fifteen stories.

"You okay?" Gar pulls you out of your thoughts, you snapping your attention to him.

"Huh? Yeah, no I'm good." You fake a smile towards him.

"You were ignoring me." Gar gives you a shy chuckle.

"I'm sorry, Gar." You let out a breath. "I'm just thinking."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Just...Jason, ya know?"

"Yeah, what, uh, what happened out there?"

"He was gonna walk off the roof so...."

"Wait, what?" Gar's entire face falls, his heart dropping into his stomach.

"Mhm, so, uh, Rachel had crucifixes drawn on her mirror I guess. She stormed into Jason's room and immediately put the blame on him but I was with him so I know he didn't do it, not that Rachel wanted to hear that side of it. Jason went to leave and the other Titans blamed him for this random shit he did not do. He just couldn't take it anymore, I guess. I don't know, worried about him."

"Why would they blame him? I know he gets on people's nerves but Jason wouldn't do any of that."

"That's what I said!" You yell, flinging a hand out dramatically. "Plus, he's always with one of us or both or Rose so we would know if he did it. It's so fucking stupid and I guess that was just his breaking point."

"That's really shitty." Gar's eyes grow sad. Gar kind of thought Jason went off to sulk somewhere and was more upset than usual. Gar did see the look of hopelessness across his face before Jason snuck off. He didn’t think it would lead him to the roof. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"He thinks he's like a disease or something....like he ruins everything he touches. I told him it wasn't true so I don't know. I got him down which is good but I don't know. I hope he goes back with Bruce, honestly. I don't like Rose."

"Since when? You said she was cool."

"Yeah, but then she barged in when I was gonna convince Jason to say and she was being so......"

"MEAN!?"

"Yeah! And rude! Wouldn't stay out of the conversation! She was pretending like she knew best or whatever!"

"She did the same to me when you guys were....held captive by her dad."

"What!?" You shake your head. "What'd she say?"

"She was basically just blaming you and Jason for getting kidnapped as if it wasn't her dad and Dick that caused everything, not that we knew about Dick but it was her dad. And then she said not to project my guilt on her, Tiger boy." Gar mocks the way Rose said it.

"That's fucking rude, we didn't go out and—" You stop mid-sentence before furrowing your brows. "How'd she know you're a tiger?"

"That's what you're gonna focus on?"

"No, but..how'd she know? Dick doesn't tell people, I would know. He definitely wouldn't tell Rose on account of her dad. No one else would have told her besides Rachel, I guess."

"What are you getting at?" Gar didn’t think that was all that weird but you seems to think so.

"I don't know that's just like a weird ." You shake your head. "It's not that she went with Jason either, it was just the way she was that rubbed me the wrong way and I don't think she has his best interests and hearing what you said, I don't know. Bad vibe."

"Yeah, I get that. But hey, Jason is smart and he's definitely not gullible so if something is off, he'll figure it out."

"Yeah, I know." You offer Gar a soft smile and decide to drop. You know you’re probably just being paranoid given everything that’s happened over the last couple of weeks. "Well, let's train then." You get to your feet and Gar follows suit. "Spar like we always do?" You grab two of the practice swords, tossing one out to Gar.

"Works for me." Gar gets into position and you follow his lead. "Ready?"

"Go." You state and the two of you meet in the middle, you throwing the first swing, smacking Gar on the upper bicep. "You gotta block me, Garfield." You tease.

"Ha, ha, funny," Gar chuckles, taking a swing at you and missing as you jump out of the way and block him with your sword. "You know, I don't think we’ve ever done this, just us, I mean."

"That's because Jason practically lived in here." You laugh softly. "This is nice though, we never spar against each other and I'm winning. We usually lose. Today, I'll win though." Sam strikes quickly, smacking Gar's other bicep, wiggling your brows at him.

"Okay, no, I'm gonna win." Gar's smile is wide as he plants his feet firmly on the floor, a little more prepared for you to hit him again.

"Well, bring it on then." You mock him.

After two hours so training, you winning the sparring session, you call it a night and decide to order takeout. Naturally, you go with a pizza and breadsticks. While you wait, you check on Conner who's still unconscious and you head back to the living room. Gar lets you pick the movie since he got to pick the movie last time. You opt for one of your favorite comfort movies and go to Gar's room for some blankets. You prep the couch for the two of you, Krypto hopping up next to you and resting his head on your lap.

You and Gar watch the movie together and the two of you allow yourselves that time to relax. Today was a shitshow, and you should have some time to forget about it. Watching a movie together, eating pizza with Krypto, it allows that reprise. And you both deserve it.

The next morning comes around and Gar wakes up first. At some point, you both had fallen asleep and you used him as a pillow. This is different than the other times you've fallen asleep together because instead of a nightmare that drove you to him, it was just because you were tired and comfortable with him. And Gar thinks you’re the cutest person he's ever seen. You don't look so angry right now or stressed out. You actually look peaceful and he thinks you should always have peace of mind. No one deserves to go through half of what you went through. So, Gar carefully gets up, trying not to wake you, and heads to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast for the both of you.

While Gar gets the food going, he starts thinking of a plan to get the Titans back together. They're supposed to be a team and they were once a really good team. They shouldn't be mad at each other and they can all be a team together. They should be a team together. And part of that is Gar doesn't like be alone. He never has, ever since he was little. He got separated from his parents at a zoo once and it was one of the scariest moments of his life. He hates being alone and yesterday, everyone besides you left him. So, he's taking it upon himself to get the band back together.

You wake up the sound of sizzling coming from the kitchen. You look at your legs and Krypto has made his way over to you, laying on you. A smile pulls at your lips as you pet him. You slide your legs out from under Krypto and sit up, stretching before making your way to the kitchen where you see Gar, flipping a pancake at the stove.

"Morning." Your voice is still filled with sleep and a little hoarse.

Gar turns around, a toothy smile shining bright. "Good morning."

"What're you doing?" You ask, taking a seat at the snack bar, Krypto trotting in not long after.

"Making breakfast. You like pancakes." Gar feels heat creep onto his cheeks as he turns back around.

"You're making me breakfast?"

"You made it for me." Gar chuckles softly. "You were still sleeping and you had a rough day yesterday."

You would be lying if your chest didn't still feel heavy from it. Your throat actually feels sore from all of the screaming. "Yeah, it sucked." You let out a scoff. "Thank you, that's very nice."

"Of course." Gar chimes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Uh, okay, actually. I think I was so fucking exhausted that...I didn't have problems." You laugh softly. "How about you?"

"Good." Gar states simply. "The couch is surprisingly comfortable."

"Yeah, right?" You nod your head in agreement before checking your phone.

Jaybird 🐦: Made it to a house we're fine

You: Good stay safe and wrap it before you tap it 🫡

"We doing the usual today?" You ask as Gar puts the pancakes on a plate.

"Yeah, but we should try to get the Titans back together." He states, looking over his shoulder, seeing your reaction. You’re very expressive.

Your eyes are slightly narrowed. You have no desire to get them back together. The only people you want back here are Jason and, surprisingly, Dick. Dick is at least somewhat a responsible adult and despite him being the cause for everything, you did feel safe with him at the tower. You aren't sure if that's some sort of growth on your part or if it's you still being mad the other Titans.

"Why?" You ask as your phone chimes.

Jaybird 🐦: 😏🥱

You: 🤮🤮🤢

You scrunch your nose with Jason’s reply, looking back up at Gar. Gar raises his brow, as if silently asking what the face was for.

“Jason, they’re fine.” You brush it off.

That’s kind of the thing for Gar. He likes you, he does. But he is not Jason Todd and he never will be. They’re similar enough, it’s why they’re friends. But they are drastically different people and he isn’t him. You’re smiling a goofy smile at your phone and Gar is pretty sure you’ve never looked at him in that way. Jason told him to tell you but Gar thinks he’ll go against that advice and pick a different route. Gar wants to know for certain before he gets his hopes up, since Jason isn’t here.

Jaybird 🐦: take your own advice

You: 😑 stfu

Gar places a plate in front of you. “It’s Jason…isn’t it?” There’s a solemn but understanding tone to Gar's words, making you look up at him again, confused.

“I just…I just said it was Jason?”

Gar let’s out an awkward chuckle. “No, I mean…it’s him, right?” Gar gains this soft and sad expression and you get it.

It hurts a little to confirm it but it’s for the best. Jason said Gar likes you and you alwaya felt like he did. It’s not fair to not tell him when you know for certain. That’s not right and Gar is your friend. You would never hurt him.

“Yeah.” You let out a sigh, of putting your phone on the counter. “Yeah, it is.” Your expression is sad, and sympathetic toward Gar.

Gar gives you a soft nod and he looks so sad. “How long have you known?”

“Yesterday,” You state. “I like you, too. It’s…I don’t know. Fucking Jason. I didn’t…I didn’t know until yesterday that it was him, when he was leaving. Like with Deathstroke, near-death experience, that's...too high of an emotional situation but yesterday..." You let out an exasperated sigh. "It hurt too much for it not to be. Telling off the Titans, all of that. Can’t really deny that.” You roll your eyes, more at yourself than Gar. “I’m really sorry, Gar.”

Gar nods with understanding. “It’s okay.” Gar assures you. “It sucks but it’s okay. Thank you for being honest.”

“I wish I could have been sooner.”

It does hurt but Gar also understands. Jason and you made it so obvious, he almost felt a little silly for even liking you. It aches in the center of his chest but he’s at least glad you were honest with him about it. It might not be him, but Gar isn’t the bitter type and at the end of the day, Jason and you are his friends. He just wants everyone to be happy.

“It’s okay.” Gar offers you a soft but small smile. “Did you tell him?”

“Absolutely not.” You laugh. “He would have stayed and I don't think him staying would have been good for him, he was so insistent on it and I get it. I was afraid if I told him, he’d stay.”

“Probably.” Gar chuckles and he lets the ache in his chest exist, but he pushes past it because you’re his friend. “Can I ask why you decided to stay then?” There’s a hesitance in Gar’s voice.

“You’re also my best friend.” You say it so simply that it brings a gentle smile to Gar’s face. “You’ve been there for me and he’s going off with Rose. Everyone leaving and stuff, I wasn’t gonna leave you here with just Dick. Glad I stayed since he left, too.”

Gar looks down with a gentle chuckle before looking back to you. “Thank you. It, uh, it means a lot.”

“Of course.” You give him a sweet smile and telling him feels so good. It’s actually relieving having that acknowledgment of it being Jason actually out in the open. You feel bad for hurting Gar but it’s relieving. “Anyway, what’s your plan? I trust you and if you think getting the Titans back together is a good idea, I’ll help.” You say and Gar gains a giant smile.

"We give them a few days to cool down." Gar cuts his own pancakes. "Then, we text them for random things, asking for help with some stuff. When Conner wakes up, we'll show them what he can do and they'll have to come back."

You find the mention of using Conner strange, even for Gar. But, at least that sounds like maybe it'll work. Who wouldn't want to work with some who's like Superman?

"The Conner thing might work but they might just text us the answers if we ask them?" You offer with a soft laugh.

"Which is why we keep bothering and we tell them that they're better as a team. We can convince them."

"You probably can." You laugh softly. "If they don't all hate me from yesterday, I'll be shocked." You clear your throat. "But, you, I mean you could probably convince all of them. No one likes to say to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're so...you that you make it hard." You chuckle. "Like, you're so kind and innocent about everything. You never ask for anything either so if you're asking for something, we gotta say yes." Your eyes widen at him before you give him a grin. "Dick has never told you no since I've been here and neither has Jason and I think his favorite word is no." You shrug. "Well, and fuck but..."

Gar lets out a sigh. "I never noticed"

"Yeah, it's true. So, we'll come up with some stuff to bug them about and then you work your tiger magic to convince them. Plus, who doesn't want to live with a tiger?"

"Thank you." Gar's smile is grateful while the two of you continue your breakfast, discussing the Titans and what show you’ll start with all of your free time now.

As the day goes on, you and Gar train for a few hours, and order in more food. You take turns taking Krypto on short walks around the block while the other checks Conner's vitals. Jason checks in with you and Gar throughout the day, too and there is some comfort in that. At least, over text, he seems okay.

The night comes around and you opt for Gar's room where you play a few video games, Krypto still hanging out with you. That’s how you both spend the rest of the night, occasionally checking on Conner. Eventually, you head to your own room and sleep there for once, something about sleeping in Gar's room with feeling out in the open feels a little weird.

Over the next few days, you and Gar fall into your own routine. You take turns making breakfast before you go into training. You make your own training schedule, having three sessions a day and you schedule walks with Krypto while taking turns checking on Conner. You sleep in your own rooms and you deal with your nightmares alone, choosing to keep Gar out of them. You aren’t his responsibility and you decide maybe you should try and figure out how to handle those on your own. You tell Gar about them in the morning though because talking still does help a little.

And while this whole thing is nice, you’re also growing so bored. At least when Jason, Dick, and Rachel were around, you both always had people to talk to besides yourselves, people to hang out with and do things with. It’s just the two of you following the same routine for the last four days. You can’t leave the tower together so you’re just trapped here.

On top of that, you and Gar both get regular texts from Jason the first two days. Jason texts you more but he was keeping in touch. But, the last two days, he’s gone silent and makes you start to worry that something happened. Jason not texting you back just seems weird and it bothers you. It’s that gut feeling that says something just isn’t quite right.

"What are you thinking about?" Gar asks as hands you a Gatorade, the two of you taking a break from training.

"Huh?" The action snaps you out of your thoughts.

"You're thinking about something. I can always tell. What's up?" Gar asks, sitting on the bench opposite you.

"I dunno, I think I might just be paranoid." You try to shrug it off because you think you’re looking for a reason for something to be wrong. The last few days have been going well and you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"About what?" Gar lets out a chuckle.

"Jason..." Sam states hesitantly. "And Rose, ya know, it's just weird. We aren't really hearing from him."

"Yeah, no that is weird. But what does that have to do with Rose?"

It’s still bothering you. The whole interaction was five days ago. It’s not a sixth sense and maybe it’s your feelings for Jason that are clouding your judgment but it just does not feel right. And you stack Gar's conversation with Rose on top of it. The more you think about Rose coming to the tower and everything that followed after, the more it bothers you.

"I just mean....it's weird, right? Like, her showing up and being Deathstroke's daughter and everything that happened after?" You open the Gatorade bottle before taking a drink.

"I guess, but Dick brought her here and Deathstroke did try to kill her." Gar scrunches his nose, trying to be the voice of reason.

"Yeah, but....two's a coincidence and three's a pattern, right?"

"A lot of the time, sure. What exactly are you thinking?" Gar doesn’t think Rose had anything to do with anything. Gar isn’t her biggest fan because why would she? How would she have anything to do with any of it?

"Dick finds her, coincidence? Definitely. Her being Deathstroke's daughter, Dr. Light attacking the both of them at the same time, me and Jason being kidnapped, that shit with the other Titans Jason was blamed for, her knowing you tuned into a tiger. That's more than three, Gar." You suck in a breath. "And Deathstroke only even kidnapped me and Jason because Dick got Jericho killed. Why would he try to kill his last living child? That doesn't make any fucking sense."

Gar sits on for a second and you’re making a good point right now. It all does seem a little weird. But, Gar still isn’t so sure. That would mean the whole thing, Rose almost being killed and chased by the cops, all of that would have needed to be planned. Deathstroke would have needed to know one of the Titans would go off on their own in order to be kidnapped. It seems a little nuts.

"So, you think it was a setup?"

“I don’t know because I think I sound paranoid. But, who else did that shit to the other Titans? We know it was Jason or us. It wasn’t the other Titans. The only people left are Dick, Rachel, and Rose. It probably wasn’t Rachel. So Dick and Rose.”

“I do doubt it was Dick. He was acting weird, but not that weird.”

“Exactly, so we're back to Rose. How would Deathstroke even know Rose was here? The tower is supposed to be secure so he shouldn't have known Rose was here, right? How would he know and Deathstroke lost his son, but Rose lost her I brother that day, too. Rose kissed Jason and they were good but she went through the records Jason borrowed and found one that belonged to a Jericho and freaked out. So, he was important to her, it's not like they didn't know each other."

The thing about you is that you do not like unanswered questions, mysteries. Whenever there’s some unanswered question, you will dig and dig until you get an answer. You were the kid in your science classes asking why the sky was blue and refused to take “because it is” as an answer. It’s one of the reasons you always found Batman and Robin interesting. They were masked, no one knows who they are and you did not like that. A mystery. This is another mystery. The difference here is this mystery almost got your best friend killed and you’re not going to rest until you get an answer.

"So, you think Rose is working with her dad? As an inside guy?" Gar’s brows are knitted together, not buying this.

"Well, when you put it like that it sounds crazy, but yeah." You shrug casually, taking another drink of the Gatorade.

"Okay, so how did she know we went to find Dr. Light? If all of this was planned, she would have known, right? That's how you guys got kidnapped. Why else would Deathstroke have been there?"

"We aren't subtle. Maybe she saw us leave, Jason in the Robin suit and put two and two together. She did talk to Jason so it wouldn't be that hard to figure out that's where we were going. Maybe she got access to the cameras while we were all asleep and that's how she knew about the stuff with the Titans or maybe Deathstroke knew somehow. Dick said he had pictures of the Titans."

Gar lets out a sigh because you’re not gonna let this go and you’re very convincing. "Okay, come on, let's check the cameras." Gar gets up from his seat and you offer him a grateful smile.

Even when you’re being paranoid, Gar doesn't make you feel that way. He's very good about reassuring you and still letting you sort that out. He lets you weigh the reasonable and logical side of situations without being judgmental or condescending and you very much appreciate it. Gar really is a really good friend.

"Why would she leave with Jason though?" Gar asks as he sits at the computer, you sitting in the open chair next to him.

"Jason said he thinks Rose really liked him and maybe she actually does. So, maybe she does like him and doesn't want him involved in this shit anymore. If he's with her, maybe her dad won't target him again."

"It sounds a little far-fetched." Gar states as he types into the computer, pulling up security footage. "But it's at least worth looking at."

"Yeah," You let out a scoff. "I don't know. It just doesn't sit right."

"So, why would Jason suddenly not be answering?"

"Maybe, Rose thinks we'll figure it out because I don't like her. I was already suspicious of her so maybe she's gotten into his head or something. I don't know, but it's something. Jason would ignore everything else, but he would not ignore us."

"Yeah, that's true." Gar nods in agreement, mostly knowing that Jason would ignore everyone besides you so goes back to the security footage.

The two of you scan over the footage together over the last month, looking for any signs of Rose of doing anything weird. You don't find footage of her sneaking into rooms or laying anything out. But you find Dawn finding the picture of Elis and Rachel storming into the hallway following Jason. You actually didn't find anyone sneaking into the rooms of the older Titans.

"Huh." Gar hums, eyes narrowed at the screen.

"What?" You ask.

"Look, the time stamps are off." Gar points at the screen as he goes back a few hours. "Look, there's a jump here."

"Which means whoever planted the picture..."

"Also erased the footage."

"Can you recover it?"

"Maybe." Gar starts typing away quickly, trying to recover the footage. He should be able to get it back as long as the person who deleted it didn't t know about the backup server. It was one of the first things Dick taught him, just in case something were to get deleted. And sure enough, Gar finds the footage. "Wow, okay." Gar beams. "Check it." Gar pulls up the footage on the big screen and its Rose sneaking into the kitchen and planting the picture. "You were right."

"Holy shit." You stare at the screen and you can't believe you’re right. You really thought you were being paranoid.

"We gotta tell Jason."

"Yeah, I'll call him. You text him. If we're both spamming him, maybe he'll answer." You nod your head, getting up and the two of you pull out your phones.

Jason's phone starts going off, vibrating in the futon Rose is sharing with him. The vibrating wakes her up. She looks over and Jason is still sound asleep so she takes his phone. She sees a text from Gar first, telling him to call ASAP it's about Rose. Rose's heart sinks and then she sees the voicemail notification. She listens to it, hearing you tell Jason to call you back as soon as possible, you need to talk about Rose and he'll want to hear you and Gar out. Rose can't have Jason know, not yet, so she goes back to Gar's text.

Rose types out a quick and short text before hitting send. She glances over her shoulder a few times to make sure Jason isn't awake. Once the read notification goes thorough, she deletes the texts and then deletes your voicemail along with the call log.

She does like Jason, a lot. She never meant to lie to him or use him or hide any of this from him. But she knows that if he knows she's the reason the Titans attacked him, he'll never forgive her. So, she hides it to protect herself and him. Rose swears she'll tell him when the time is right, but right now is not the time. So, she hides the messages from him and puts his phone back.

Jason: She told me it's fine

Gar raises his brows and shakes his head, confused as he reads the text. "He said he knows? She told him." Gar shows you the text.

Your eyes narrow at the text. "That also seems weird."

"Hey, look, maybe she did tell him. Jason said he thinks she likes him so maybe she did come clean after they left. Maybe he does know and you're worried because of everything that happened." Gar keeps your feeling out of it. Bringing that up seems kind of like a low blow right now. Gar believes the text anyway. Why would Jason tell him he knows if he doesn't?

You let out a sigh because there's nothing you can do. It feels weird, seems weird. You thought if Jason found that out, he would tell you. Maybe not leave Rose because maybe he really, really likes her and forgives her. Maybe Jason was never supposed to get hurt in all of it anyway. The reality is that you don't know what goes on between him and Rose and you don't have a real reason not to believe his text.

"Okay," You let out a breath and decides to let it go. Maybe it's all fine and Jason is just having fun in his relationship. "Thank you for checking this out with me." You give Gar an awkward chuckle.

"Yeah, of course." Gar nods his head. "You were right." Gar laughs softly. "Let's uh, check on Conner and play Mario Kart." Gar stands up, a glowing smile on his face.

The next morning, you make you and Gar breakfast and you sit at the snack bar together, bored of your routine. But, lucky for you and Gar, Conner wakes up and joins you. You find him funny. He's very chipper, very excited, and happy-go-lucky. He actually reminds you of Gar in a way but like a little kid version of him. It's funny and kind of adorable.

The two of you explain to Conner what the tower is and who the Titans are. Gar tells him he can be a Titan because of the things he can do. He's special like all of you and you nearly rolls your eyes out of your head with the comment. But, it's kind of true. Gar then goes off to call Bruce before you and Gar take Conner into the training room to see more of what he can do, Gar explaining more about the Titans and how everything will be better once they're together again.

You’re going along with this but you really aren't sure there's anything you and Gar can do to get them back. You don't even think having Conner around is going to change their minds. Gar looks up to them and you get that but, shit got hard and they left. They gave up. They have way bigger issues to deal with and you and Gar trying to convince them to come back isn't going to be enough. But, you let Gar talk because you can't crush him.

The next day rolls around and you and Gar decide to take Conner and Krypto out, show Conner around some of the city. The two of you have gotten stir-crazy and this way, you and Gar can teach Conner more stuff he'll need to know.

"So," Gar starts, resting a hand on Conner's shoulder as the four of you walk. "Think of San Francisco as one big three-dimensional, interactive, multi-player video game. And you're Player One." Gar points at him and you think it's funny that Gar compares life to a video game. It makes perfect sense but you know you never would have thought of that and likely would have ended up confusing Conner further.

"Okay." Conner says as you round the corner.

"And it's your job to make sure everyone stays safe and no one gets hurt."

"Is that what the Titans do?" Conner asks.

"Well, we don't, but the old Titans did." Gar gives you a look as if knowing you want to fight that comment.

So, you bite it back. "Yeah, they kept everyone safe." Your voice is a little flat but luckily, Conner doesn't really pick up on speech patterns yet so he believes you.

"Dick mostly just kept us locked up in the tower. "Gar chuckles awkwardly. "Y/n, Jason, Rachel, and I talked about how we wanted more real-life experience. And once the team is back together again, I think he'll get it."

Gar has so much faith and so much optimism. You aren’t sure if Dick will be willing to allow all of you some experience but maybe you’re wrong. Maybe with everything that’s happened, he’ll see that you all can do it. You all should be allowed to so you admire Gar’s optimism.

"I know this sounds crazy but once the teams knows you're awake and can see what you can do, they'll be back in a hurry." Gar says confidently.

“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t want to work with someone who’s half Superman.” You add in. Superman at least still seems really cool and nice.

"So, what can you guys do?" Conner asks looking between the two of you.

"I shoot acid from my hands and know when people are gonna attack me." You deadpan and Conner's brows furrow. "It's not...it's a thing." You shrug it off while Conner looks to Gar.

Gar laughs sheepishly. "It's-it's no big deal."

Your brows furrow at Gar. turning into a tiger is definitely a big deal.

"Come on. Can you show me?" Conner asks.

"Now's not the best...time." Gar winces, looking at all the people around you, minding their own business.

"Well, can you tell me?" Conner asks.

"Just tell him." You state. "It's really fucking cool, I swear." You look back at Gar. "Well, I don't really know because I have yet to see it. But It's probably cool." You say and you move next to Conner, almost expecting Gar to do something so you can finally see him turn into a tiger. In the middle of the day. In public.

"Yeah...yeah." Gar's brows furrow. "It's kind of weird but I can turn into a tiger." Gar beams with pride.

Conner looks so overjoyed and astounded. "No way!" Conner laughs.

Gar's chest fills with pride. "Yeah."

"What's a tiger?" Conner's laugh subsides.

You double over, laughing loudly. Conner’s innocence is so precious and you hope he can hold onto that. The world is a rough place and it needs more people like Conner and Gar.

"I'm sorry, it's not..." You choke out. "You just looked so excited and you don't even know what it is. You're amazing. Keep being you, Conner."

Gar deadpans at you before pulling you both over to the side. Gar is blocked by the both of you while he starts to growl and then his face starts to shift into that of a tiger, his eyes glowing green. You’ve only seen the green tint, not anything like this.

"That's awesome!" Conner yells as Krypto barks.

"That is sick and also a little terrifying. Nice." You beam, surprised Gar was so willing to show you and Conner. It’s so fucking cool.

"There's more to it. I'll show you later."

"Finally." You state.

Before any of you can say anything else, the three of you hear someone yelling for help. Conner puts his hand on Gar's shoulder, pushing past him softly and you see the guy that's yelling. That's not good. A guy is being arrested and Conner looks thrilled.

"Game on. Hero time." Conner states with excitement before he uses superspeed and grabs the cops but the back of their uniforms.

"That's really not good." You state while Gar's expression turns to panic, Conner bashing one of the cops's heads into the window of the cop car.

"Conner, no!" Gar yells but Conner throws the cop into the bushes and then pins the other cop to the ground. He looks at you and Gar, happy with what he's going. He literally does not know any better.

You both should have been a little more specific about helping people. You can't get mad at Conner though. He heard someone yelling for help and as a Titan, when someone yells for help, of course, he's going to step in. And you also should have been more clear about how you help and how you go about the whole situation. What Conner is doing is definitely not it.

"What the fuck do we do?" You start to panic. You don't want Conner to get arrested. You aren't even really sure how that would work and that would cause a whole lot more problems.

"I have no idea." There's panic etched in Gar's words. If you two step in, you risk being involved which also means getting arrested and then what do you do?

Two more cop cars pull up, four cops exiting their vehicles and pointing their guns at Conner. They start shooting Conner. Luckily, Conner is bulletproof but chaos ensues around them, pedestrians fleeing for safety. Conner starts to completely lose it and attacks one of the cops. Krypto takes that as a signal to join in, attacking another one. Gar and you hear more sirens coming forward and you hate to do it, but you look at Gar and decide to it’s time to run.

"We gotta go unless you go spend several nights in jail." You yank him by the collar of his shirt and the two of you start running in the other direction.

The two of you run all the way back to the tower, chests heaving by the time you get back. You look over your shoulder and no one's followed you. For a second, you hate thinking it, but it was kind of thrilling. It reminded you of your days back in Gotham. Running from the cops, the asphalt hard under your feet. The thrill of possibly getting caught. It's been a long time since you’ve felt something like that. But, you look back at Gar as you take the elevator up and he is panicking. Face riddled with guilt.

You feel guilty, too. You and Gar had one job and you dropped the ball. Then, you ran away. You know you and Gar couldn’t have done anything to help Conner without digging an even bigger hole but you feel guilty anyway. You and Gar abandoned him.

"Hey," You put your hand on Gar’s shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, Gar."

"How can you say that? He just attacked a bunch of cops." Gar panics, walking into the tower once the door opens.

"Uh-huh, but he's like...a carbon copy of Superman so...he can beat them. Like, they'll never catch him."

"That's not the point." Gar grits his teeth and he can't believe that's where you’re going with this.

"I mean, kind of. Like, it sucks and everything but...at least he won't get caught. We can sort it out when we find him or he finds us or something." You’re choosing to be the optimistic one this time. Gar definitely needs some optimism. And none of it is a lie. You do think Conner will escape them and you’ll find him. He doesn't have anywhere else to go and you have access to the city’s surveillance system.

"It doesn't matter that he won't get caught. He was our responsibility and because of us, he's out there! Now he's alone."

"I know." You state, feeling the guilt creep back over you. He was your responsibility but Dick left the two of you alone with a strange man as if you were supposed to know how to handle that. You did not do as asked but...that's not the point here.

"I'm gonna try to call Dick." Gar mutters, walking off towards the training room.

You let out a sigh and you aren't sure what to do. Maybe you should have tried to called Bruce more than once but now you can't since you lost Conner. It's all a mess again. Everything gets okay for a minute and then it gets messy. It's the same routine but you can't dwell on it because Gar is the one beating himself up for it. So, you follow Gar and find him in the display room, sitting in the display that says "Hawk".

Gar puts the phone to his ear while you take a seat in front of him. You rest your hands on his knees, squeezing softly.

"Dick, uh..." Gar's voice is breathy as it cracks, tears coming to his eyes. "I'm-I'm sorry. Something really bad happened and it's my fault. I need your help, so..." Gar's voice is desperate as he holds his arm with his free hand. "Call me back, yeah?" Gar pulls the phone away from his head, hanging it up.

"It's not your fault, Gar." Your voice is soft, brows knitted together.

"How?" Gar nearly whines. "He was my responsibility and now he's out there and he just--"

"Stop." You cut him off, shaking your head. "Dick left us in charge of him which was a bad idea. Now, Dick isn't answering his phone. We had no business trying to do this alone. Conner has been awake one day." You stress. "Even if we got ahold of Bruce, maybe it would have happened anyway. Dick didn't say we couldn't leave the tower." You’re very good at finding loopholes. "It's not your fault, okay? We'll find him and it'll be okay."

"How?"

You shrug. "I don't know." You laugh softly. "Because we'll work together. You survived a demon and I survived Deathstroke. We can find Conner." Your smile is gentle and soft, making Gar feel al little better about the whole thing. "I believe in you, Gar." You take your hands off of his knees and stands up, offering him your hand. "Let's get on the cameras and see if we can find him." Gar gives you a thankful but weak smile before taking your hand.

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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @anthemabby // @baebeepeach

#gar logan #jason todd #gar logan x reader #garfield logan x reader #jason todd x reader #gar logan fanfic #gar logan fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #caving in

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aspenstarflare · 11 months

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Hello There! I haven’t really had much interaction with the clone wars community much so I’m just gonna put all my head cannons out there and hope for the best. (By the way it is Ok to disagree with these I am just putting these out for the fun of it)

-I imagine that Anakin is like this “fun dad” to the entire 501st, all the clones look up to him as a mutually respectable general but also the guy who would fight tooth and nail to keep each and every one of them safe and cared for. He has definitely helped a lot of his men through medical emergencies and panic attacks due to flashbacks, and also done goofy pranks on Obi-Wan the 212th to help distract his men from the dread that washes over when traveling to the next campaign. This guy was made to just be a father.

- Biromanic Asexual Obi-Wan. This guy flirts with all his opponents, must I say anything else?

-I know there’s a lot of confusion on if Ahsoka and Anakin have a Father-Daughter or Older Brother-Younger sister dynamic. I honestly believe that they way they view their dynamic is shifting a lot and seen as different from the duo but I do personally lean the Father-Daughter side as Ahsoka was a living being that Anakin was given the role of looking after and taking care of.

-Ahsoka definitely has jokingly called Obi-Wan “grandpa” to tease him for being the oldest of the three and Obi-Wan definitely deflected but hid a smile at the “joke comment”.

-AroAce Ahsoka. Why you may ask? Because I said so. I don’t wanna see her dating anyone. She need no romantic partner, she got her little chosen family. Cough Her color theme for Mandalore arc is the one for the AroAce flag Cough. When Ahsoka told Anakin that she didn’t romantically get attachments he definitely celebrated the fact he didn’t have to hunt any potential romantic partners down.

-No matter how awesome Ahsoka is at her job of being a commander, she definitely still is a child and definitely has some Anxiety issues to deal with. The order definitely ignored this and told her to “release these feelings through the force” and Anakin knowing better and being the good master he is keeps a extra bed in his chambers (on the cruiser and in the temple), bought her a tiny stuffed tooka for her to keep around when her “flight or flight was on at unnecessary times” (panic attack), and let her trail him around like a lost child when she felt like she couldn’t be alone. Rex and Fives definitely also found out and keep a eye on their little commander, inviting her to bunk with them and the men whenever they notice she keeps following the general around like a lost loath-cat.

-Pansexual Anakin. I don’t need to justify this. He loves everyone, he’s a guy who wares his heart on his sleeve. His most admirable trait is all the love he openly has to give.

-Sometimes when they’re on leave, Anakin and Ahsoka go visit Padme together just to simply have nights out or watch holonets together and just chill out and pretend to be a calm normal family for once.

-Anakin has PTSD. You cannot tell me that this man has been through so many freaking traumatic events in his life and does not have it.

I have so many more but I’m very tired of writing these so here you go for now, I wanted to speak more of the clones, I’ll probably do a second half when I get to it.

#clone wars #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #obiwan kenobi #501st battalion #headcanons #disaster lineage #pan anakin #AroAce ahsoka #Bi-Ace Obi-Wan #Ahsoka has anxiety #PTSD anakin #Anakin is a father to Ahsoka and the 501st #He definitely beat the crap out of krell’s body after umbara and personally checked up on every single troop

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neonlazycat · 5 months

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Reducing us to minors who wanted to start problems is bullshit. We, romantic/sex-repulsed AroAce, both adults and minors, are people who doesn't want to be erased or have what little representation we have taken away. Respectfully, keep your mouth shut if you have never experienced being invalidated, erased or mistreated by your own damn community members.

Hun I did not reduce the entire aroace community to children . Its the ones who started all this nonsense drama the ones who are immature people and don't realise how fast stuff can escalate to other topics .

I don't get it why do you have to take things so deeply. We both know well that what I said wasn't directed with the intention to put down aroace people . It looks like people are just seeking more people to jump at ,because in no way my insignificant tags on another post, hurt u that much. Even more so in those tags was my concern on how this drama is flooding my feed with unnecessary bs that I don't wanna see. And how I cannot block the fandom tag, because I actually still am in the fandom and just wanna see art and fanfics and not a bunch of strangers fighting with each-other.

Now how you interpret and process my tags in ur head is completely different and none of my problem cuz at this point it looks people are trying to find small slip ups in others statements to jump at them behind anon asks . Very mature.

Now are yall gonna go search in every posts tags to see whoever poor person that god forbid decided to express their opinion on this drama (+ I didn't even write an opinion about the issue directly I was just saying how tiring this whole drama is) and go jump then on their ask box?

Or are we gonna go take a break and have fun outside the Internet for a while cuz it's getting incredibly annoying.

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mbti-notes · 6 months

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Anon wrote: Hello, thank you so much for your blog. You're the only source i trust when it comes to mbti. I don't know my type. I know I'm Fi-Te but not sure if I'm ESFP or ENFP.

I'm very imaginative but i guess is because of wanting life to be more interesting and at the moment I can't be very present oriented because i want my present to change and i can't right now (because of lack of financial independence - I know i need a job a job, I'm searching), so i just make up fake scenarios inside my head usually accompanied with great music.

Also I've realized that getting outside of my head is good for my mental health even if it's just going to the grocery store or watching netflix (I tend to stay at home, i still live with my parents and I don't want to go out alone without friends and my friends are usually unavailable).

So, can ESFPs have their head in the clouds and be imaginative just because they like it? I want to create stories (but writing is always boring so I don't do it) and i love learning history, psychology, philosophy and I like to learn about society but then we have to ask why do i do this things, like you said, and i think the answer is "because i like it and it's fun", so it is that Se-Ni? I don't want to stay in my head forever because I've done it many years already and I had enough, I want to live my life and to explore my freedom but ENFPs also want that so I'm confused.

Also it's strange to think I'm Si inf since it's a function you'll only use well way later in life (I'm 26) and I like to be careful sometimes and I have a lot of life-learned lessons and I would hate to make the same mistakes again because it would lead to more sadness and i had enough of it (i had severe depression for years at the past + self-loathing issues because of bullying at school and emotional neglected parents). I also like some past techniques because they work, if they don't then that's when we should think of something new.

So I might be ESFP even though not a stereotypical one because of childhood and environmental factors.

I tend to do what I like without thinking if it's a good decision of not because I just wanna do it, which includes A LOT of imagination but I'm getting tired of it because I want to go to new places and what's better than creating a great story is living one.

I can live outside of my head when my reality is one that I like but I'm using imagination as long as I can remember since I'm a little kid. I like to talk to people about ideas but I've changed a lot because i grew up and I've realized that not everything in life needs to be changed, you can just appreciate the great things you have now like music, photography, love, friendship, food and i want to do all the things i haven't done yet, like dating, going out at night, sleepovers, etc).

When on grip I tend to think about the stuff that hurted me or get paranoid about people hurting me, i guess my biggest grip episode was me on depression, because who wouldn't suffer in their own misery when everyone around me was horrible to me? I had therapy and i still do and it saved my life.

So what do you think? Am I ENFP or ESFP? I've read a lot of your Theory Guide but the only thing that helper my more was the Function Dynamics part because the Se-Ne and inf Si-Ni is confusing to me because for me it feels like I can be both types and i know there's only one. Ne dom makes a lot of sense but Si inf just doesn't.

I do take objects as how they are but I also like to use it to improve life (eg books are made of paper but books help with making new ideas written on paper which helps people improve their lives/all actions need words and ideas first). However I don't want to just to think in a better future without living in my present because it just seems like I'm running forever to catch a train I never can catch and I don't want to live my whole life wanting to search for something without filling fulfilled and satisfied. I do love physical sensations like food.

I'm also very spiritual, I like the idea I'm guided and loved by an superior source because I didn't have that growing up that much, my parents have a different love language than me but now that I'm older i tend to become more strategic and cold (Te tert kicking in). I forgive them, but i just wanted to tell you this for the reason of loving God and my spiritual journey.

Function stacks:

Ne: loves brainstorming, generate ideas, likes and needs new experiences for mental health/ Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Si: gets bored by mundane tasks or same-old things.

Se: my main priority in life is happiness, pleasure and fun, i like to get the desire/thing now if i don't i get angry (eg finding stuff in my never ending bag) / Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Ni: I do want to have a meaningful life and want to be remembered, I also tend to have intuition moments (eg don't put detergent on same grocery bag as food cuz is dangerous).

Sorry about the silly examples but that's what I got. I hope this is not confusing.

Thank for your time! Happy holidays.

----------------------

First, your understanding of Se isn't very good or deep, which is why you're getting confused. This fact by itself is usually enough to indicate it isn't the dominant function, since people should naturally have a good and deep understanding of the dominant function, especially once they learn about it through function theory. Second, a lot if not all of the major struggles you experience are typical manifestations of N-S imbalance (not S-N imbalance). Therefore, I'd have to conclude that ENFP is by far the much better fit.

#typing #ask

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efangamez · 1 year

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Hi :) I'm very, very depressed. 2/15/23

So I wanted to make this post to kinda humanize me a lil bit. If it's putting too much out there so be it. But don't get sad just yet though, there is a bit of hope! TW// Self loathing, self harm, eating disorders, depression

From about Thanksgiving, I have been very depressed. In this post. I kinda wanna talk about the things that have been making me feel this way and what happens because of it.

Living With Parents Living with my parents is a huge drain. My mother is not as homophobic and transphobic as my dad is, but it certainly is there. Also, we live on a farm, so I'm expected at any moment to help my family with whatever they need. This is a puts a HUGE damper on my mental health. Not only do I have to constantly remind them of my boundaries, but I also cannot express my gender as freely as I would like. I just want to wear dresses, maybe try some make up, hang out with friends, etc. But, here in south VA, I have no car and I have a phobia of driving, so there's that.

2. Burnout

I've been suffering from a lot of creative burnout. With the release of Reilley's Roadtrip, the last 1st Edition Neon Nights expansion, I have just felt completely wiped off the face of the earth. Yeah, sometimes I'll muster enough courage and energy to release a small game, but damn if I don't have the energy to make games more than 20 pages. I just feel...drained and conflicted. I have ALWAYS wanted more people to enjoy my games. I have. But I do ask people leave reviews for my games when they pick them up for free, and no one has been doing that. Wrath of the Undersea, my most recent game, has no reviews on Itch. That really sucks. I really like that game. Granted, more people downloaded it, but I want people to do more than that. I want them to have fun and maybe throw a little love my way. Idk, maybe I'm being super selfish with this. I'm a one person team living on a very small budget below the poverty line. I can't really afford to both hire people for games AND live. I can't. Also, I started these game jams recently, but I feel like I'm not advertising them enough and that kinda sucks, you know? Doesn't feel right. Idk. I do wish that I had my Twitter again, but it's kinda like a give-all thing over there that I just do not have the energy for. I guess I just kinda miss attention. I think that's the big thing here.

3. Self-Image Issues.

I am fat. I weigh WELL over 200 pounds, and because of this, I have major body issues. But get this; I am too fucking depressed and burnt out to work out. Hell, it is EXCRUCIATING to have to shower and brush my teeth now. And ALSO because of this, my gender dysphoria is CRAZY rn. It creates this super hellish loop that is just too much to bear sometimes. Right now I am so burnt out I want to take a month of unpaid vacation to just clear my head. Yeah, that will put me back a couple grand, but so what? Idk.

4. I Tire of Even Writing This

I am so burnt out even venting right now is a chore. I'm pushing through, but it's super hard. I can't even describe my own feelings without feeling I'm dumping everything on everyone. This sucks.

Anyway, yeah, idk why I am even publishing this. Hopefully people relate? Maybe send well wishes? Idk. Love y'all.

#burnout #burnt out #depression #sad #games #indie #gamedev #game dev

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kaaras-adaar · 1 year

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❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

THE SALTY AF MUNDAY MEME

Nothing as of yet, lol. But I do feel like my patience is waning with this place. Mostly, I'm exhausted about how easily people throw the word "triggered/triggering" around, and how people get upset about every, little thing. I'm exhausted that you make one, tiny mistake and even apologise about your ignorance (even if it was an innocent mistake!) and you've been cancelled and everyone hates you and demonises you. When did we become such a hate filled community that can do no wrong, and if you do do wrong, then how can you possibly come back from it?

This website used to be a safe haven for people who wanted to have fun and enjoy the same things together, no matter how "problematic" a character might be. It used to be a place for us to enjoy all the weird shit that we enjoy and couldn't enjoy outside because we were seen as the outcasts and those that society thought were nerds and weirdos who liked video games and pop culture and metal music and LGBTQA+ communities. We were the outcasts that found solace within each other. We used to come together because we were different! And now if you have an opinion someone doesn't like, you may as well pack your shit and leave because they'll find some way to attack you.

I am very lucky that I've never been involved in drama, but that doesn't mean I don't see it from where I sit. It doesn't mean I don't see it from friends and those I follow, as they are attacked over something that literally is MEANINGLESS and more hurtful to a community from the person who is doing the attacking. I have literally had someone try and cissplain (I say that because she was cis) to me because they didn't know I was transsexual (yes, I use that term for myself because I am not comfortable with being called transgender and that is MY choice), because they assumed I was a cis man (which I have no problem with because I do not like people knowing I am afab--it is NO ONE's business what is in my pants, but I have seen the hate towards men on this website, and unless you're a man with a vagina, you can't do anything right and it's blatant sexism, not to mention pretty much saying any afab is not a real man if that's the way you treat them, OH but not ALL men AKA oh but not ones that were born with vaginas, how can they do anything wrong when they're still obviously female?). That's what you sound like. The moment you start treating us differently to other men, the moment you're basically segregating us to what you see as other men. We'll never be real men to you.

The double standard bullshit on this website is honestly painful. There is nothing wrong with being straight (coming from a homosexual/ace), there is nothing wrong with being a man (coming from a transsexual man born afab), there is nothing wrong with supporting heterosexual relationships. This is just scraping the surface of the issues on this website with "woke culture". Don't even get me started on the amount of times I've seen white people speak over PoC about PoC issues because they're trying to be white knight allies.

There is so much infighting within this place to try and be the BEST ally or the best PC person for popularity sake, not for legitimate reasons to help. This is what people want. They want us fighting between ourselves because it means our attention is here and not out THERE, where the actual problems are.

Honestly? I just wanna fucking write with people. That's why I'm here! I'm so tired of everything having to be a political battle.

#ooc #asks #reply #// I'll probably lose followers for this but honestly I'm so tired...

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inactiveblog2023 · 1 year

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howdy - amidst the shitstorm I come in peace! Forgive the anon, I'm a lurker and just never get involved in any of this drama and would feel weird coming off anon. Have a lil thought experiment and genuinely just want your thoughts:

take this issue to a different fandom - i'm literally blanking rn but any other fandom pick like stranger things or something - and someone wants to ship one of the kids (no older than 12) with one of the adults (all at least 21) - is that still alright? Not just alright, but should it be celebrated and encouraged? If you're gonna argue that they're in a semi-real world, how about if it was high sci fi or fantasy? And someone wants to date an under-12 with someone over 21? Bearing in mind that what's really important when considering inappropriate relationships with minors - under 12's, by law, cannot give consent.

Just curious as I notice you seem to argue (quite strongly, I am genuinely not coming here looking for a fight lets be chill pls) that the distinction between fiction and reality is very important when considering this. But I don't see how just declaring something "fictional" means it's devoid of any moral codes of its own. I also think it's important to raise that there are differences between exploring something in fiction, and condoning or approving it in fiction. Take DUIs for example. Even in redacted, that's explored, david admitting his father was killed by a drunk driver. Could you feasibly explain how in a fictional world, something like drink driving is okay? And I don't mean situationally, last resort running from a serial killer type fantasy, I mean normal day-to-day in this fictional world. Would it be okay. Could we write about it in a way that is positive, affirming, good and fun? I don't see how tbh. Now, if you do, genuinely I wanna hear I'm totally open to chill discourse.

I suppose I just want to make the point that deeming something "fictional" doesn't completely take it out of our world. Even while it's fiction - putting Caelum (a canonical child) in a relationship with an adult, and crucially, painting this in a positive light, is clearly affirming these types of relationships. Now, could it be explored in a way that doesn't do that? Sure. But that's not the issue here, because that's not what people are doing. If you can't apply the same logic to another act - such as driving drunk or stealing etc - OR if you can't take the 'caelum problem' (aka, the positive exploration of a relationship between an under-12 and an over-21) to another fandom and affirm it, then what you have is a total logical fallacy. I'm not saying this to have a go at you, I'm not starting a screaming match, but that logic - philosophically speaking - literally doesn't follow.

So - can you? show that when taken to another analagous situation (and no, don't do the whole "oh but it's redacted and not stanger things etc" - that's not the point. The logic has to follow for the "creative freedom" point to stand) that the literary portrayal of such a relationship in a positive and affirming and accepting light would still be permissible? Do you see how the difference between exploring and affirming is crucial to this problem and why it's upsetting so many people?

This entire thing has blown way out of proportion, and both sides need to check their logic to make sure it's watertight. If you wanna make a point, you gotta have ground to stand on...

Hi, thanks for being civil. I was going to write a lengthy response to this but I'm tired, so I'll keep it short and sweet.

There are loads of things that we accept and enjoy in stories that we wouldn't it real life. Such as non-con/dub-con, murder, torture and the like. People like writing and reading those things, but does that make them torturers or murderers? No. Because you can't abuse or torture or murder fictional characters. Because they're fictional. And equating the harm done to fictional characters to the harm done to real people is really offensive.

So yes, the point still stands no matter what fandom you're in.

#asks and answers #purity culture #fandom police

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choices-binglebonkus · 1 year

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I haven't caught up with TPA since like late December, but I've been rereading your post about 10 Rights and Wrongs with TPA and I wanna add my thoughts on it. I'll mainly only comment on stuff that I have something to say about. These may be subject to change when I complete the book.

Soundtrack

Agreed with you, it's absolutely brilliant. It has a James Bond vibe that I like, and even ignoring that it's just really well-composed. I love the adventurous intro theme especially, as well as the steamy scene track– I will happily listen to those on repeat and never get tired.

Outfits

Agreed on that too, I didn't vibe with majority of the f!MC outfits besides the default ones but they still did do a good job making them look good for the most part.

I definitely hate the fem MC having a crop top as the cold outfit. I wouldn't mind it as much if they did the same with m!MC; it'd still be impractical, but like, either give both of them crop tops or neither of them crop tops. Enough with the "must be sexy because woman" outfits, goddammit.

Speaking of shitty outfit gendering, I also hate that m!MC's "sexy underwear" equivalent to fem MC's lingerie is a goddamn robe and boxers. The robe is admittedly nice and has a "luxurious evening" vibe that I like, but come the fuck on, stop playing it safe and basic with the m!MC and m!LI outfits all the damn time.

Vivian

I'm very mixed on her. On her own, I quite enjoy her as a character. She's fun, she's got some good lines, and she doesn't really come off as obnoxious.

But in the story, she just feels weirdly out-of-place in it? Perhaps because I've associated TPA as being the Choices' edition of a James Bond adventure, so it does feel unusual to have one of the main characters be a quirky nerd type. But hey, that does make TPA a little more unique.

But while I haven't caught up, I know others said that missions and tasks are way too easy with her being present, hence the lack of stakes.

Hookups

I didn't play any actual dirty-30 hookup scenes, but I did enjoy the buildup scenes to them and I'm sad we haven't gotten other hookup opportunities. Especially since I played as wlm, where the dynamics were very different from how PB usually writes their average wlm romance. I am forever here for male Lou swooning over f!MC being heroic and male Alexis's femme-fatale-esque persona. I found them way more interesting than the majority of MC and Agent Grey's dynamic. Speaking of which...

One thing that is nice about the romance is that MC is the one who is more experienced in GAIA while Agent Grey is the new member. Honestly it's very refreshing (especially as wlm) considering how often PB's romance involves MC being the newbie and LI being the boss/teacher/celebrity/etc.

But character wise? Agent Grey doesn't work as an LI. Or at least not a main/single LI. It's It feels like they're only the LI by virtue of being MC's work partner. I'd rather Agent Grey have just been... still our work partner, but also as a casual hookup option like Alexis and Lou rather than our romance interest.

Possibly controversial opinion, I think a book that is just "no romance, only casual hookups" would be something unique for PB to write (granted the hookups don't take over the entire story). PB needs a break from writing romance and it shows.

GOC/Pronouns

A lot of people said this one "actually feels like it was written with male MC in mind for once". I have a lot of issues with that statement due to the fact a lot of the fandom's takes on what counts as "female coding" can be very dubious.

Regardless, even if this was written with mlw in mind, I've still been finding it very enjoyable and made sense (dare I say better and more unique) in a wlm route.

Any actual gender coding errors I've seen or heard about are very minimal. Though I will say that it made me want to sob to see male Agent Grey's swimsuit described as a "swimsuit that hugs his hips" despite his swimsuit in question being boring swimtrunks and a basic-AF open beach shirt rather than, yknow, a swimsuit that actually hugs his hips.

And that's about all I've got for now.

Thanks for your insights anon!

#this was fun to read #I love when people dissect books and their aspects #asks #the phantom agent

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mourntheantagonist · 2 years

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Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @stevie-wicks !! thank u!!

relationship status: single and tired lmao. can’t be bothered to go looking at this point, they gotta come and find me.

favorite color: blue! like I nice calming grey-blue! like the kinda blue you would paint your bathroom lol

favorite food: mac and cheese! I am a connoisseur! I like it all and I like it in all ways! can’t go wrong with a good bowl of mac and cheese!

song stuck in your head: everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears. I think I heard it in a st edit and now it’s trapped in my head. specifically the part of “acting on your best behavior turn your back on mother nature”

dream trip: oh anywhere honestly. I live on the west coast of the united states and the furthest east I’ve been in wyoming, which is still very much considered west. I’ve never been to another country either. I think I’d love to visit some of the major cities in the world like NYC, and London, and Tokyo. I think that’d be neat.

last book you read: city of bones by cassie clare

last book you enjoyed reading: in a heartbeat by loretta ellsworth. I found it in my room and I remembered reading it in middle school and I think I was able to appreciate it much more now than I was then. It was a quick and easy read, which is what I love as a dyslexic lol.

last book you hated reading: city of bones by cassie clare asdhakala LISTEN! I was a whore for the mortal instruments when I was in middle school but holy hell that was difficult lmao.

favorite things to cook/bake: pancakes!! especially with friends! because a.) they’re easy to make, b.) they’re yummy, c.) you get to try and embarrass yourself by attempting to flip them by tossing them in the air and d.) you can make fun (and inappropriate) shapes

favorite craft to do in your free time: writing, obviously. but I also like editing, but I haven’t done that in a while. largely due to having an old computer that is super slow and doesn’t wanna run the programs nicely for me.

opinion on circuses: haha, never been to a circus, but I think I’d fit in lol.

do you have a sense of direction: I have one (1) and their names are harry, louis, niall, zayn, and [REDACTED]

tagging: @metalheadcowboy @captainwingdings @magniloquent-raven @cherrydreamer @fan-with-issues @harringrovetrashh @disdaidal @writerwhowritesao3 @c0bblenygma @yikesharringrove (sorry if you’ve already been tagged!! just ignore haha)

#tag game

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papercherries · 2 months

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I try to refrain from writing full pieces on my phone but I don't think I can bare to turn on my computer and look at all my tabs. It's too much to think about. I think the touchscreen keyboard removes a sense of physicality from my writing. The actuation of the keys is a cathartic experience for me and helps me feel physically connected with the things I write.

I'm not depressed, at least not at the moment. I'm not happy either. I don't want to sleep but I am tired. I feel like there's a hole in my chest. Shot straight through. My chest is tight and my throat is raspy. I am ill but I feel fine. I keep thinking, I wish I existed. I know I exist, these words are proof of that. Sure it could all be a simulation of some kind but that doesn't take away from the fact I exist, even as a line of code or a jolt between synapses.

I think it's because I felt today wasn't very productive. However I have had less productive days. I went to the shops to get bread and carrots (not for the same meal), I finished a game I had been playing, I received a reply from a message I'd sent to an actor. But I think the real issue comes from one of my daily activities.

Everyday for around 1-6 hours, I'll play guitar. I mean that very loosely, whether I'm just playing with chords or playing short instrumentals I know off by heart. At minimum, an hour of that time is spent singing as well. It's how I release a lot of energy and emotions. If I'm sad I'll usually play sad songs (not exclusively mind you), if I'm frustrated or angry ill play heavier songs (though 90% of the time they're played with bare acoustic with no amp because I don't wanna annoy my flatmates anymore than i do). If I'm happy I'll just play whatever I feel like.

It's extremely rare that I am ill (not including hangovers and physical injuries from violence), usually it doesn't affect me too badly either. I'll have small headaches and my shoulders tend to hurt but besides that I look fine. However, sometimes my throat will dry up. Usually it's not too bad either, sometimes happens after shows and such. Just a mixture of illness and concert screaming. But very rarely will I not be able to sing afterwards. Mind you, I'm still able to sing songs that don't require that part of my throat. Though it's difficult I can play around it. Though recently I've been playing heavier songs and testing with more shouting and heavier vocals. I find it incredibly fun though I imagine my neighbours don't. It's also great for letting off lots of energy I tend to build up, I always have pent up energy so it's always nice to get it out.

I dare say I'm quite good at singing as well, though you may not be able to tell from my practice as I tend to try to push myself and experiment and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If I had to curate something though, it probably would be a ok show. Though my stage fright is quite bad, though I can shake it off. My guitar is probably much less commendable but I haven't been doing that one my whole life so it's fair. Plus I'm completely self taught, though I have reached a point where I feel I just need to get physically better before I continue learning more mentally. Once I can play barre for 10 minutes straight I'll feel happier. Got weak little hands.

My point being, I couldn't do that today. I did some songs that had that more heavier feel, I even leaned into the sickly, rough feel with some bright eyes songs I knew would fit it. But I was really in a screaming and shouting mood, it just wasn't possible. I can't even talk in my normal voice, I'm like an octave lower than I usually am. So I've been singing a lot lower than usual today, a lot calmer as well. I probably shouldn't sing at all but I don't think that's possible. I'm the type to pipe, I'll sing to myself at every given moment of silence. For kitchen tasks, I find country songs are the ones that usually show up. Hallelujah comes up a lot in general (Leonard Cohen). When I'm cleaning, lots of indie songs. Sometimes I even have my own songs. I made a lovely little song that has a repeating chorus that is probably the catchiest thing I've ever conceived. Not being able to do that consistently as well has been awful.

Other small things it has affected. Me and my housemate are like blind cats. We meow to alert one another of our presence. If they don't meow back then they're not in their room. I mean I think we just do it out of habit but I need to give a real reason. I can't make a realistic meow. That pitch is completely locked off from me right now. I also can't make funny sounds! I can't say yipee! In a high pitched voice. I can't do a muscle man impression. The best I can do is a rough aussie accent where nobody else gets what I'm referencing. This is peak comedy my friends are missing out on. They're gonna love it when I rewatch big lez.

I hate being without the full potential of my voice. It's driving me up the fucking wall. I need it to fix itself within 3 days or I am fucked. I've got a concert and it's gonna be shouting and screaming and moshing and jumping. I need my voice. Throat soothers, whiskey and ice cream. Though I can't afford any of those so I'll just have to steal the throat soothers and ice cream.

Anyway rant over, this one will be interesting to explain at therapy.

#creative writing #spilled thoughts #writing

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