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janaispunk · 2 months

Text

i can see the end as it begins

chapter 1 • series masterlist

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: You meet your father’s new friend for the first time, but he’s a lot different than you expected.

word count: ~5k

tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad isn’t a nice person), able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, semi-public sex, fingering, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, spanking, pet names, let me know if i missed anything 🫶🏻

a/n: my favorite person on this app @joelscurls planted the idea of dbf!dave in both our heads and after many many feral dms, porn gifs, plotting and just generally freaking out, we have finally managed to put the first chapter together :) we’re currently planning with 4 chapters in total that we’re gonna take turns posting, so go follow jess if you don’t already (criminal behavior tbh)! i’m beyond excited to be able to do this with someone whose writing i adore sooo much, we’re both beyond excited about this story, and we hope that you enjoy it 🫶🏻

follow @joelscurlsupdates and @janaispunknotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics!

“I want a divorce.”

It’s been almost a year since Carol spoke those words into the tense silence of their dining room and they still echo in Dave’s mind as if it happened yesterday.

He doesn’t mourn the marriage, doesn’t miss Carol, not in the way he probably should. But he mourns the life that he had, the perfect suburban family, the stability. A little boring maybe, but safe, calming. Predictable.

And he misses his girls. He misses the sound of small feet on the hardwood-floor greeting him as soon as he opened the front door, giggly exclamations of “Daddy’s home!” and tiny hands grabbing at him, begging to be picked up. Now he opens the door to an empty, silent apartment. He has them every second weekend, which he rationally knows makes the most sense with his often irregular working hours, but it’s simply not enough. It’s like time is constantly running through his fingers and he just can’t make it stop, can’t bring his life back under control.

He’s doing what he can to keep himself busy, anything to keep his mind occupied and his thoughts from spiraling into that pit of loneliness that he’s found himself in. He started reconnecting with friends, going out with his colleagues and contacting people from his army days that he hasn’t spoken to in years, trying to build a social life outside of his family and the neighbors that he no longer lives next to.

It’s tedious, making him realize that he really doesn’t like people all that much, but it’s better than spending his evenings by himself and wondering where things went so awfully wrong.

He spends a lot of time with Jim, one of the guys that trained with him and that he always got along with rather well. Jim was delighted when Dave called, promptly inviting him to join him at golf the next day, which somehow turned into a weekly event on Dave’s schedule. It’s nice enough, giving him some sense of routine and he finds that he’s rather good at it. Jim runs his own company by now, the thing that he invests all of his time in, which got him a lot of money, but also a divorce.

It’s all he talks about, too, but it’s fine with Dave, not being forced to contribute that much to the conversation – because really, there’s not much worth mentioning happening in his life anyway – and he’s content to just nod along and hum in agreement most of the time.

Jim has a daughter too, a lot older than Dave’s though, already out of the house, attending law school. He can tell that Jim is proud when he talks about her, but it always seems to be connected to achievements, an underlying pressure to their relationship that leaves Dave a little uneasy and he silently vows to himself to never apply any sort of conditions to his love for his daughters.

But he's never met the young woman and he probably never will, so he doesn’t dwell on it, because what does it matter to him, really?

You huff a sigh as the familiar sight of the country club that your father loves to frequent comes into view and hand the Uber driver a tip before sliding out of the car.

You had thought you’d be getting a night out with your Dad, just the two of you, a rare occurrence. Not that you had been particularly looking forward to being grilled about law school, your grades, networking and internship opportunities, but at least he would be listening to you, paying attention. Joking that he was making sure that the money he put into your education was well invested, a joke that felt less funny every time you were reminded just how financially dependent you were on your father.

If the topic of conversation wasn’t school, it was what kind of acquaintances you’ve made, if maybe you’d met a guy with good connections, someone who could introduce you to the right people. Cautionary warnings not to get involved with the wrong sort, not to get on the wrong track.

Just once, you would like to talk about if you were enjoying school, what living on your own was like, how you got along with your roommate, the fun times you had with your girlfriends, anything about your life that wasn’t somehow connected to success or keeping up appearances. But your relationship wasn’t like that. He didn’t care about these sorts of things, he never had.

You continuously swallowed down the heavy feeling of envy in your stomach when your friends talked about their parents, painting a picture of unconditional love and support that was foreign to you, telling yourself that everything was fine the way it was.

“I invited Dave to join us tomorrow,” he then told you yesterday morning, offhandedly, sipping his coffee and his eyes already glued to his phone. You nodded silently, forcing your lips into something that resembled a smile. He had mentioned someone named Dave before, an old friend from his army days that he had recently reconnected with, if you remembered correctly. It didn’t matter, really, your father’s countless acquaintances blurred into a mix of vaguely familiar faces in your head anyway. If you had mixed feelings about the evening plans before, this new development made it clear that you wouldn’t partake in the conversation much, just smile politely, sit pretty and let the grown ups talk.

Steeling yourself, you walk in, your heels clicking against the floor. After spotting your dad almost immediately and waving in his direction, you make a beeline for the bar. He was sitting alone, you think, furrowing your brow in thought. You’re running a little late yourself, maybe that Dave guy couldn’t make it? You don’t hate the idea of that.

Dave had been reluctant to come out tonight, couldn’t help the feeling that he was intruding on his friend’s father-daughter time, something that he was desperate to have more of, but Jim had insisted.

“Lots of women you could meet there!”

He had scoffed under his breath, not able to picture himself meeting someone new, going through the motions of getting to know them, opening up, adjusting his routine to someone else’s again. He could much less picture himself meeting a woman he’d be interested in at a fucking country club of all places. Eventually, the thought of another evening in his silent and empty apartment with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company made him accept anyway.

He’s drumming his fingers against the polished wooden bar, waiting to pick up the second round of beers for Jim and himself, when someone slides up to the counter beside him. He glances over, eyes focusing in on the woman who is studying the drinks menu.

He feels an inexplicable pull towards her, couldn’t look away again even if he tried. She’s beautiful, he thinks as he takes in her features in the soft warm light, lingering on the shape of her lips, before his gaze trails down her body, over the short black dress that’s clinging to her in the most enticing way. She’s also younger than him; too young, the responsible part of his mind argues. Not the kind of woman that he should be interested in meeting. He still can’t look away.

“Evening.” The greeting comes out before he can stop himself. She looks up, a hint of annoyance on her pretty face, but her gaze softens as her eyes meet his. A smirk plays on her lips.

“Hi.” Her eyes flicker down his own body and up again, something akin to excitement taking over her expression. He’s rusty, hasn’t done this in ages, but her interest is palpable, and it shoots a thrill of pleasure through him.

“I’m David,” he introduces himself. No one has called him David in… god knows how long, but it feels better than Dave in this moment, right somehow. Like he can be a different person, just for a little while.

“Pleasure,” she grins, tells him her name and shakes his hand, her eyes glinting in the warm lights of the bar. Her touch on his skin, even just his hand, is like electricity is flowing through the air between them. She feels so soft and his life has been so devoid of softness lately that he has to force himself to let go of her hand again.

Something tugs at the back of his mind, like this name should ring a bell, but he shoves the thought aside. He’s too busy picturing himself taking her home this evening, imagining how soft her skin would feel in other places, how she would look splayed out underneath him on his sheets, how her breath would sound when he–

“I’ve never seen you around here before, are you new?” her melodic voice interrupts the vivid daydream playing in his mind. She has taken a step towards him and hints of the sweet notes of her perfume are beginning to surround the air around him. It’s getting a little hard to think straight.

“I– yes. First time actually,” he laughs and delights in the way her face lights up at the sound. “You come here a lot, then?” The cliché line makes him want to cringe, but she doesn’t falter, only shrugs and lets her eyes slowly trail down his body once more, obviously wanting him to notice.

“Depends. I might be here more often if it means I get to see you.”

She reaches out until her fingers softly graze his wrist and it demands a great amount of willpower not to take her home right this instant.

The heartbeat in your chest is thrumming along to the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach. You’ve never been this bold, too shy to flirt at all most of the time, but the stranger in front of you is clouding your sense of judgment and has your insecurities flying right out of the window. His interest is written over his face clear as day and you feel an immediate pull towards him that you can’t explain.

He’s so handsome that your hands are itching to touch him more, to find out if he’s as broad and solid as is large frame suggests, if that jawline would feel as strong under your fingertips as it looks, and if his deep brown eyes would soften before you press your lips against his. No wedding ring either, you note in the back of your mind, sending another surge of excitement through you.

The fact that he seems old enough to be your father, something that your therapist would probably have a few words to say about, is only adding to the arousal that’s coursing through your veins. You want him.

You almost jump when your drinks arrive in front of you; you had all but forgotten where you are, and that you’re very much in eyesight of your actual father. Suddenly, you feel silly, reality catching up to you. Surely he was just being nice and you read way too much into it, making a fool of yourself.

“Well, I–I’ll see you around then.” You hastily grab your glass and are ready to make a run for it, when his large hand wraps around your elbow.

“Looking forward to it,” he purrs, before he takes the two beers off the counter in front of him.

Awkwardness slowly sets in when you start walking in the same direction, but it doesn’t fully hit you until you both stop at the same table, your father beaming up at you.

“Sweetheart, you already met Dave I see, that’s great. Come, sit!”

You’re frozen, stupidly blinking between your father and the man beside you a few times. The man who introduced himself as David.

David. Dave. Oh. Oh.

“Y–yeah,” you stutter out eventually and plaster a smile on your face as you take a seat beside your dad. David looks just as dumbstruck as you feel when he slides into the chair opposite from you, quietly handing one of the beers over to your dad. His friend.

Your father launches into a story about their army days together and you’re nodding along, but not one word actively registers in your brain. The conversation eventually moves on to your dad’s recent work projects, the majority of the talking done by him, with the occasional question from David, while you’re silently sipping on your drink.

The initial embarrassment of the whole situation makes you want to sink down into the ground, but still you can’t keep your eyes from flicking to David again and again. They linger on his lips, constantly in a pout that you would give anything to feel against yours, the slight shadow of stubble on his cheeks at the end of the day that you know would scratch against your skin so deliciously, the way his hand dwarfs his beer on the table, thick fingers that could stretch– No. No, you’re not going there.

Your cheeks are burning and you stare down at the tabletop in front of you.

When your gaze lifts back up, David’s eyes are already trained on you, glinting like he knows exactly what you’ve been thinking about. You reluctantly look back at your father, who’s still rambling on about some big client that he’s currently dealing with, completely oblivious to the charged energy between his friend and you.

David shifts in his seat and his leg bumps against yours under the table. You grasp your drink tighter, forcing yourself not to react in any way, but you don’t move away either. Neither does he. You shoot him a look and the hint of a smirk plays around his mouth. He looks too damn good like this, so excitingly wrong in a way that makes your pulse flutter.

It feels like you’re burning up from inside and as little attention as your dad is paying to you, you’re certain that he’s gonna notice that something is off with you eventually. You hastily scramble to your feet and excuse yourself to the bathroom. You feel David’s eyes on you as you walk away until you’re out of sight.

The cool water that you run over your wrists and splash onto your cheeks does a poor job of calming you down. Stupid, stupid, stupid, you admonish yourself. It’s certainly not more than a tiny bit of flirting to him, if at all, just some harmless fun to amuse himself probably, and you’re getting this worked up about it.

No. You need to get out of this situation. You’re gonna walk back out there, make something up about a headache and catch a cab home. It will probably earn you a lecture about politeness later in the evening, but you’ll gladly take that.

When you approach the table again, your dad is just getting off his phone, his expression already far away. You know that look all too well, being subjected to it almost daily.

“Work emergency?” you ask, without a real question behind your words.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, getting up, barely looking at you, already all business. “Sorry, I gotta get to the office, Dave will drive you home. Right, Dave?”

Your eyes fly to David and you catch him swallowing hard, but he nods regardless, lips quirking up in a forced smile. “Of course.”

You both silently watch your father’s retreating back, already speaking into his phone again. The fabric of Dave’s pants ghosts against your bare leg below the table once more. You wish it were his fingers instead.

You hadn’t anticipated to be alone with him and all the reasonable thoughts that you’ve come up with in the privacy of the bathroom are wiped from your mind. It feels like you’re buzzing, a rush of excitement thrumming through your veins, like your body knows that you’re on the brink of doing something really stupid and really fucking tempting.

“I’m sorry, about earlier,” you murmur, looking up at him through your lashes. He smirks, a knowing glint in his eyes as he takes in your expression. He still hasn’t moved his leg.

“I don’t think you are.”

Your stomach swoops at his words. You bite your lip. He wouldn’t be acting like this if he didn’t want you, would he? His eyes dart to your lips at the movement and darken. Fuck it.

“No, I’m not.” You pray that he doesn’t catch the slight tremble in your voice. He’s fucking intimidating and this is wrong on so many levels and you want him so badly to want you.

The tension between you is a palpable thing, almost making it hard to breathe when he leads you out of the club, his hand at the small of your back and causing you to shiver. Will he really just drive you home? Will he say something, do something, touch you more? You don’t know how to ask for any of it and desperately wish that he’ll take the reins, that somehow he already knows what you want. You have a feeling that he does.

He opens his car door for you, another thing that really shouldn’t affect you this much, before he walks around the vehicle and gets in beside you. You catch a hint of his cologne in the confined space and press your thighs together before you can stop yourself. Your heart is racing and you just know that he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

He clears his throat. “We gotta stop at my place, I have some paperwork that I’d like your–” He interrupts himself, his grip on the steering wheel tightening until his knuckles are white, “that I’d like Jim to look over for me.”

You nod, a small hum leaving your throat. The implication of going to his place has you reeling. He nods back, stealing a glance at you before he starts the car. You can’t help watching him as he drives, the subtle control that he exudes, the way the muscles on his thighs are flexing underneath the fabric of his pants. He looks over at you a few times, and you don’t have it in yourself to pretend that your eyes aren’t glued to him.

“See something you like?” he asks eventually, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Yeah,” you answer, so breathless it’s embarrassing and you shift a little in your seat. Your dress rides up at the movement, revealing more skin, and his eyes fly down instantly.

“Me too,” he rasps.

When he stops the car in front of his building, you decide that it’s time to be brave.

“Do you want me to come up with you?”

“No,” his answer comes instantly. His tone isn’t cold, but determined, not to be argued with.

“Oh.” Your cheeks are heating up again. You hate how small your voice sounds. “I thought–”

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, avoiding your gaze.

“I can’t. You’re– You know why. You know I can’t.”

“I don’t care. I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”

He shakes his head, still not looking at you.

“Sweetheart, stop. Trust me, I want to, but–”

“Please?” You’re begging, no dignity left in you, only want want want. “Just one time. Please, David?”

His eyes fly up to your face at that. You can see the shift, the way his expression hardens, turning into something feral that has heat growing between your legs.

“Just one time,” he repeats, his voice dark with desire, no longer trying to conceal it.

His hands find your thighs, grabbing at you roughly, moving you until you’re in his lap, legs spread wide, his breath fanning against your lips. One hand is in your hair, the other gliding under the hem of your dress, his touch turning you into a trembling mess.

“This is what you want?” he growls, the grip in your hair tightening. You don’t think that you’ve ever wanted anything as much as this.

“Please,” you whine again, and he presses forward, lips clashing against yours, the kiss all tongue and teeth and desperate need and you’re melting into him.

“Fuck,” he breathes, his hands all over you now, grabbing at your dress, your skin, any place he can reach.

Your mouth travels over his cheek and down to his neck, sucking kisses and bites into his skin. The stubble scratches against your face just like you thought it would and you start working on the buttons of his shirt with trembling fingers, rolling your hips, desperate for friction. His grip steadies you, pulling down the neckline of your dress, kissing along the lace of your bra before he pulls the cups down too. A groan rises up in his throat as he cups your tits, thumbs circling over your already hardened nipples before he leans forward and sucks one into his mouth.

“Fucking perfect,” he rasps, breath hot against your damp skin. You arch into his touch and he chuckles, sucking on the bud again before he bites down, eliciting a loud moan from you. His touch travels up your thighs, leaving a burning trail behind, until his fingertips rub over the soaked fabric of your panties and you gasp at the barely-there touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he coos, pressing down harder. “Already dripping for me, huh? You want it that bad?”

You nod eagerly, pushing down onto his fingers.

“Alright.” He sounds just as wrecked as you feel. He starts undoing his belt buckle and his pants and you lift up just enough to allow him to shove them down his hips.

At the first glance at his cock, your mouth falls open, a silent breath escaping you. He’s big, certainly the biggest you’ve ever had, and maybe you should think about how you’ll take all of him inside of you, but you find yourself craving him, craving the stinging stretch, craving the feeling of being as close as possible to him.

“Don’t worry.” He seems mildly amused, catching your lips in another kiss. “We’ll make it fit.”

Another shudder runs through your body at this. “I’m not worried,” you admit in a whisper.

He laughs at that, a breathless sound that you instantly want to hear again.

“Good.”

He pulls your underwear to the side and thrusts one thick finger up into your slick heat without warning. His thumb rubs around your clit and you already feel an orgasm creeping up on you. He adds a second finger, his rhythm relentless, and you cry out, grabbing his shoulders, trying to steady yourself, but it’s pointless. You’re already clenching, so close to the edge, when he pulls out of you and fixes you with a hard glare.

“Not yet. You’re only gonna come on my cock tonight, understood?”

You want to scream, want his fingers back, but you realize that you also want this authority, want him to take control, to take whatever he wants from you. It’s a heady feeling, one that you’ve never experienced before, but you’re already desperate for more.

“Okay,” you agree, and his responding smirk is enough for another wave of wetness to gather between your legs.

With one steadying hand securely on your hip, he leans over to the glovebox, mumbling about protection, but you stop him, fingers looping around his wrist.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean, I promise. You don’t need–”

He leans back, the grip on your hip tightening again.

“Fuck sweetheart, are you sure?”

You nod quickly, another “please” falling from your lips.

The grin on his face is downright feral as he hikes your dress up higher, eyes raking over your body. You’re sure that you look a mess, all intimate parts of you on display, your skin damp with sweat, your hair a wild nest. You curl in on yourself a little, but David won’t have any of that.

“Hey,” he growls, fingers digging into your thighs. “If I’m gonna do this, you’re gonna look at me and beg for it, are we clear?”

You lift your head, wide eyes searching his. Desperate to do what he asks, desperate for his approval. He’s gorgeous in the low lights, his cheeks flushed, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face and chest.

“Please,” you whine. “Please David, I need you.”

His movements turn frantic at your words, moving you around until you’re positioned just above him, your panties pulled to the side, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, already soaking him.

“Just one time?” he rasps once more.

“Just one time,” you agree. You’d agree to anything right now.

He pulls you down slowly, beginning to part your walls. You whine loudly at the stretch. It burns, but you relish in the feeling of getting filled by him, and his responding groan has your lips pulling up in a smile.

You keep sinking down, moving until he’s completely sheathed inside you and your eyes fall shut at the overwhelming sensation. His fingers are on your chin in an instant, giving your head a light shake.

“Nuh-uh, eyes right here, sweetheart,” he reminds you, gritting the words out. He twitches inside you and you force your eyelids to open again.

“Feels so good,” you whine, your voice reduced to a broken, breathless thing, but then he starts moving and you’re not able to form words any longer.

He rolls his hips up into you and you meet his thrusts with your own movements, clinging to his shoulders for dear life. His hands are everywhere, digging into your hips, pinching your nipples, gripping your chin whenever your eyes are starting to slip closed again.

So you keep your gaze obediently on him, your eyes locked, delighting in the way his face scrunches up in pleasure, in the sounds that are falling from his lips, matching your own.

“Good girl, taking me so fucking well,” he groans, his hand connecting with your ass in a light slap. An obscenely loud moan escapes you in response and you clench around him, more wetness covering his length and your thighs.

He stills and leans back to take in your heated face and blown pupils, an amused smirk forming on his face. “You liked that, huh?”

You nod, once again unable to meet his eye.

“Hey,” he demands, his fingers grabbing your face again. “Eyes on me, remember?”

Your gaze reluctantly trails up and his smirk grows.

“So…” he drawls, slowly picking up his thrusts again, “what exactly did you like, huh? When I called you a good girl… or when I did this?”

He smacks your ass again and you grind down onto him almost instinctively. You’re burning up in shame, but you obediently hold his gaze.

“B–both,” you whisper, in disbelief that you’re admitting this to him, but you feel too good to hold back now.

“Fuck,” he growls, his movements speeding up and his grip on your hips bordering on painful, “knew you were a dirty little thing.”

Another slap lands on your skin, harder than before, at the same time that he thrusts deep into you. The combined sensations are enough to throw you over the edge that you had been teetering on since he first touched you and you scream out his name as you fall apart.

He holds your shaking body close, cock grinding into you as you pulse around him and he groans, burying his face in your neck, spilling his own release deep inside of you.

“Fucking perfect,” he whispers, mouth pressing against your skin. “Can’t believe that you let me–”

You barely make out the words, ecstasy still coursing through your veins, but you lean into him, holding onto his broad shoulders, feeling like his body is the only real thing in your world right now.

You stay like this, entangled in each other’s embrace until your breaths even out and he carefully lifts your face, pressing one more kiss against your lips. It hits you suddenly, that this might be the last kiss that you share with him. Just one time, right?

He helps you to properly put your clothes back on, supporting your weight as you slink back into the passenger seat, before he pulls his pants back on and jogs up to his apartment to gather the paperwork for your father.

Your father. His friend. Fuck. Now that the lust-induced haze has lifted a bit and you’re able to think more clearly again, the weight of tonight’s events starts crashing down on you. He would kill you. He can’t know, no one can.

Dave returns within minutes, his brow furrowed as he takes you in. You think that he clocks the growing panic that is probably written all over your face. He reaches for your hand, slowly enough that you could retract it if you wanted to, but you long for his touch, for the reassurance of it.

“You alright?” he asks softly.

“Yeah.” You nod, trying to convince yourself as much as him.

He nods back, not prying, which you are grateful for, and starts the car, making his way over to your house. Your hand still clasped in his. Both your release and his pooling in your panties.

You only let go of him when he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine. You don’t think that your dad checks the footage from the security cameras regularly, but it’s a risk that you’re not willing to take.

“Thank you,” you mumble, once again unable to meet his eyes. “I– I had a great night.”

He smiles, appearing more relaxed than he’d been all evening.

“Me too, sweetheart. Good night.” You feel his eyes on you as you walk up to the door.

You shower, reluctantly washing away all traces of the evening and crawl into bed. You still feel his hands on your skin, the sensation following you into your dreams.

When the morning comes, hushed promises of just one time echo in your head, but the desire to do it again, for more, is burning through your body, consuming your thoughts.

“Hey Dad,” you ask, stepping into his office where he’s brooding over documents, “I think I left my jacket in Dave’s car, could you give me his number? Maybe I can go pick it up.”

if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending in an ask – it’s really the thing that keeps writers going :)

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337 notes · View notes

bonefall · 4 months

Note

Don’t know if this is the right place to ask, but could you talk more about zoos? I’ve seen many people say that zoos are inherently exploitative and that we should instead focus on advocating for wildlife preserves, etc., but I’m not sure what to think of that. You seem to know a lot about wildlife protection, so what’s your opinion on this?

There are folks faaaar better than myself to talk about the issues of zoos specifically and I'll try to toss in some sources so you can go and learn more, but let me try and explain my mindset here.

Summary of my opinion on this: BOTH of these things can be poorly managed, and I broadly support both. They should exist in tandem. I am pro-accredited zoo and am extremely sensitive towards misinformation. I also do think the best place for animals to be is in their natural environment, but nature "preserves" aren't inherently perfect. They can also be prone to the capitalist (and colonialist) pressures that less informed people believe they're somehow immune to.

Because of the goal of my project being to make the setting of WC accurate to Northwestern England, my research is based on UK laws, ecology, and conservation programs.

On Zoos

On Nature Reserves

An Aside on Fortress Conservation

On Zoos

The legal definition of a Zoo in the UK (because that is what BB's ecological education is based around), as defined by the Zoo Licensing Act of 1981 (ZLA), is a "place where wild animals are kept for exhibition to the public," excluding circuses and pet shops (which are covered by different laws.)

This applies equally to private, for-profit zoos, as well as zoos run by wildlife charities and conservation organizations. Profit does not define a zoo. If there's a place trying to tell you it's not a zoo but a "sanctuary" or a "wildlife park," but you can still go visit and see captive wild animals, even if it's totally free, it's a marketing trick. Legally that is still a zoo in the UK.

(for fellow Americans; OUR definition is broader, more patchwork because we are 50 little countries in a trenchcoat, and can include collections of animals not displayed to the public.)

That said, there's a HUGE difference between Chester Zoo, run by the North of England Zoological Society, which personally holds the studbooks for maintaining the genetic diversity of 10 endangered species, has 134 captive breeding projects, cultivates 265 threatened plant species, and sends its members as consultants to United Nations conferences on climate change, and Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pit.

Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pit ONLY has to worry about the UK government. There's another standard zoos can hold themselves to if they want to get serious about conservation like Chester Zoo; Accreditation. There are two major zoo organizations in the UK, BIAZA and EAZA.

(Americans may wonder about AZA; that's ours. AZA, EAZA, and BIAZA are all members of the World Association of Aquariums and Zoos, or WAZA, but they are all individual organizations.)

A zoo going for EAZA's "accreditation" has to undergo an entire year of evaluation to make sure they fit the strict standards, and renewal is ongoing. You don't just earn it once. You have to keep your animal welfare up-to-date and in compliance or you will lose it.

The benefit of joining with an accredited org is that it puts the zoo into a huge network of other organizations. They work together for various conservation efforts.

There are DOZENS of species that were prevented from going extinct, and are being reintroduced back to their habitats, because of the work done by zoos. The scimitar-horned oryx, takhi, California condor, the Galapagos tortoise, etc. Some of these WERE extinct in the wild and wouldn't BE here if it hadn't been for zoos!

The San Diego zoo is preventing the last remaining hawaiian crows from embracing oblivion right now, a species for which SO LITTLE of its wild behavior is known they had to write the book on caring for them, and Chester zoo worked in tandem with the Uganda Wildlife Authority to provide tech and funding towards breakthroughs in surveying wild pangolins.

Don't get me wrong;

MOST zoos are not accredited,

nor is accreditation is REQUIRED to make a good zoo,

nor does it automatically PROVE nothing bad has happened in the zoo,

There are a lot more Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pits than there are Chester Zoos.

That's worth talking about! We SHOULD be having conversations on things like,

Is it appropriate to keep and breed difficult, social megafauna, like elephants or cetaceans? What does the data say? Are there any circumstances where that would be okay, IF the data does confirm we can never provide enough space or stimulation to perfectly meet those species' needs?

How can we improve animal welfare for private zoos? Should we tighten up regulations on who can start or run one (yes)? Are there enough inspectors (no)?

Do those smaller zoos meaningfully contribute to better conservation? How do we know if they are properly educating their visitors? Can we prove this one way or the other?

Who watches the watchmen? Accreditation societies hold themselves accountable. Do these organizations truly have enough transparency?

(I don't agree with Born Free's ultimate conclusion that we should "phase out" zoos, but you should always understand the opposing arguments)

But bottom line of my opinion is; Good zoos are deeply important, and they have a tangible benefit to wildlife conservation. Anyone who tries to tell you that "zoos are inherently unethical" either knows very little about zoos or real conservation work, or... is hiding some deeper, more batshit take, like "having wild animals in any kind of captivity is unlawful imprisonment."

(you'll also get a lot more work done in regulating the exotic animal trade in the UK if you go after private owners, btw. zoos have nothing to do with how lax those laws are.)

Anyway I'm a funny cat blog about battle kitties, and the stuff I do for BB is to educate about the ecosystem of Northern England. If you want to know more about zoos, debunking misconceptions, and critiques from someone with more personal experience, go talk to @why-animals-do-the-thing!

Keep in mind though, again, they talk about American zoos, where this post was written with the UK in mind.

(and even then, England specifically. ALL UK members and also the Isle of Man have differences in their laws.)

(If anyone has other zoo education tumblr blogs in mind, especially if they are European, lmk and I'll edit this post)

On Nature Reserves

Remember how broad the legal definition of a zoo actually was? Same thing over here. A "nature reserve" in the UK is a broad, unofficial generic term for several things. It doesn't inherently involve statutory protection, either, meaning there's some situations where there's no laws to hold anyone accountable for damage

These are the "nature reserve" types relevant to my project; (NOTE: Ramsar sites, SACs, and SPAs are EU-related and honestly, I do not know how Brexit has effected them, if at all, so I won't be explaining something I don't understand.)

Local Wildlife Site (LWS) Selected via scientific survey and managed locally, connecting wildlife habitats together and keeping nature close to home. VERY important... and yet, incredibly prone to destruction because there aren't good reporting processes in place. Whenever a report comes out every few years, the Wildlife Trust says it often only gets data for 15% of all their registered sites, and 12% get destroyed in that timeframe.

Local Nature Reserve (LNR) A site that can be declared by a district or county council, if proven to have geographic, educational, biodiversity, or recreational value. The local authority manages this, BUT, the landowner can remain in control of the property and "lease" it out (and boy oh boy, landowners do some RIDICULOUS things)

National Nature Reserve (NNR) This is probably closest to what you think of when someone says "nature reserve." Designated by Natural England to protect significant habitat ranges and geographic formations, but still usually operates in tandem with private land owners who must get consent if they want to do something potentially damaging to the NNR.

Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) (pronounced Triple S-I) A conservation designation for a particular place, assessed and defined by Natural England for its biological or geographic significance. SSSIs are protected areas, and often become the basis for NNRs, LNRs, Ramsar sites, SACs, SPAs, etc.

So you probably noticed that 3/4 of those needed to have the private ownership problem mentioned right in the summary, and it doesn't end there. Even fully government-managed NNRs and SSSIs work with the private sectors of forestry, tourism, and recreation.

We live under Capitalism; EVERYTHING has a profit motive, not just zoos.

I brushed over some of those factors in my Moorland Research Notes and DESPERATELY tried to stay succinct with them, but it was hard. The things that can happen to skirt around the UK's laws protecting wildlife could make an entire season of Monty Python sketches.

Protestors can angrily oppose felling silver birch (a "weed" in this context which can change the ecosystem) because it made a hike less 'pretty' and they don't understand heath management.

Management can be reluctant to ban dogs and horses for fear of backlash, even as they turn heath to sward before our eyes.

Reserves can be owned by Count Bloodsnurt who thinks crashing through the forest with a pack of dogs to exhaust an animal to death is a profitable traditional British passtime.

Or you can literally just pretend that you accidentally chased a deer for several hours and then killed it while innocently sending your baying hounds down a trail. (NOTE: I am pro-hunting, but not pro-animal cruelty.)

The Forestry Commission can slobber enthusiastically while replacing endangered wildlife habitats with non-native, invasive sitka spruce plantations, pretending most trees are equal while conveniently prioritizing profitable timber species.

I have STORIES to tell about the absolute Looney Tunes bullshit that's going on between conservationists and rich assholes who want to sell grouse hunting access, but I'll leave it at this fascinating tidbit about air guns and mannequins which are "totally, absolutely there for no nefarious reason at all, certainly not to prevent marsh harriers from nesting in an area where they also keep winding up mysteriously killed in illegal snares, no no no"

BUT. Since Nature Reserve isn't a hard defined legal concept, and any organization could get involved in local conservation in the UK, and just about anyone or anything could own one... IT'S CHESTER ZOO WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!

They received a grant in 2021 to restore habitat to a stretch of 10 miles extending outside of their borders, working with TONS of other entities such as local government and conservation charities in the process. There's now 6,000 square meters of restored meadow, an orchard, new ponds, and maintained reedbeds, because of them.

It isn't just Chester Zoo, either. It's all over the UK. Durrel Wildlife, which runs Jersey Zoo, just acquired 18,500 acres to rewild in Perthshire. Citizen Zoo is working with the Beaver Trust to bring beavers back to London and is always looking for volunteers to help with their river projects, and the Edinburgh Zoo is equipped with gene labs being used to monitor and analyze the remaining populations of non-hybrid Scottish Wildcats.

The point being,

Nature preserves have problems too. They are not magical fairy kingdoms that you put up a fence around and then declare you Saved Nature Hooray! They need to be protected. They need to be continuously assessed. They are prone to capitalist pressures just like everything else on this hell planet. Go talk to my boy Karl he'll give you a hug about it.

"Nature Preserves" are NOT an "alternative" to zoos and vice versa. They do not do the same thing. A zoo is a center of education and wildlife research which displays exotic animals. A nature preserve is a parcel of native ecosystem. We need LOTS of nature preserves and we need them well-managed ASAP.

We could never just "replace" zoos with nature preserves, and we're nowhere near the amount of protected ecosystem space to start thinking of scaling back animals in captivity. Until King Arthur comes out of hibernation to save Britain, that's the world we live in.

An Aside

My project and my research is based on the isle of Great Britain. The more I learn about the ecosystems that are naturally found there, the more venomously I reject the old lie, "humans are a blight."

YOU are an animal. You're a big one, too. You know what the role of big animals in an ecosystem are? Change. Elephants knock over trees, wolves alter the course of rivers, bison fertilize the plains from coast-to-coast. In Great Britain, that's what hominids have done for 900,000 years, their populations ebbing and flowing with every ice age.

Early farming created the moors and grazing sheep and cattle maintain it, hosting hundreds of specialist species. Every old-growth forest has signs of ancient coppicing and pollarding, which create havens for wildlife when well-managed. Corn cockle evolved as a mimic of wheat seeds, so farmers would plant it over and over within their fields.

This garbage idea that humans are somehow "separate" from or "above" nature is poison. It's not true ANYWHERE.

It contributes to an idea that our very presence is somehow damaging to natural spaces, and to "protect" it, we have to completely leave it alone. NO! Absolutely NOT! There are places where we have to limit harvesting and foot traffic, but humans ALWAYS lived in nature.

Even the ecosystems that this mindset comes from rejects it, but this shit doesn't JUST get applied to British people who become alienated and disconnected from their surroundings to the point where they don't know what silver birch does.

It's DEADLY for the indigenous people who protect 80% of our most important ecosystems.

It's a weapon against the Maasai people, stopped from hunting or growing crops on their own land. It's violence for 9 San hunters shot at by a helicopter with a "kill poachers on-sight" policy, as one of the world's LARGEST diamond mines operates in the same motherfucking park. The Havasupai people are kept out of the Grand Canyon that they managed for generations because they might "collect too many nuts" and starve squirrels, Dukha reindeer herders suddenly get banned from chopping wood or fishing, and watch wolves decimate their animals in the absence of their herding dogs.

It's nightmare after nightmare of human displacement in the name of "conservation."

That all ties back to that mindset. This idea that nature is pure, "pristine," and should be totally untouched. There are some starting to call it Fortress Conservation.

You can't begin to understand the criticisms of modern conservation without acknowledging that we are still living under the influence of capitalism and colonialism. Those who fixate on speaking for "animals/nature/trees who don't have a voice" often seem to have no interest in the indigenous people who do.

Listen. There's no simple answer; and the solution will vary for each region.

Again, my project is within the UK, one of the most ecologically devastated areas in the world. There are bad zoos that the law allows a pass. There are incredible zoos that are vital to conservation, in and outside of the country. There's not enough nature preserves. The best ones that exist are often exploited for profit.

I hope that my silly little blog sparks an interest in a handful of people to understand more about their own local ecosystems, and teaches folks about the unique beauty even within a place as "boring" as England.

But, my straightforward statement is that I have no patience for nonconstructive, broad zoo slander that lumps together ALL of them, and open contempt for anyone who tries to sell nature preserves like a perfect, morally superior "alternative." We need them BOTH right now, and we need to acknowledge that zoos AND preserves have legal and ethical issues that aren't openly talked about.

#ALSO THAT GUIDE IVE BEEN WORKING ON IS DONE #Im just waiting for the input of the sensitivity readers bc I made a whole section on--#How ableis m might express in the different clans #And part of it became a thunder-callout post lmaooooo #Also this zoo doc has been sitting competed in my drafts for a while #All this to say that uh. I hope the strange place they visit in the upcoming se is not a zoo :J #I will hit it with a golf club if it is <3 #Leaning heavily towards the 'oh no two DEMIGODS ended up in a zoo' idea #Which is objectively funnier #And you know what else is objectively funny. When these posts break orbit and then ppl are surprised that i am a kitty cat blog #Hal. It's about Cats.#Bone Babble

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riseofamoonycake · 2 months

Note

I've got one! Kashimo with the reader who just straight up says she's into him and keeps giving him suggestive comments. Our boy is so focused on finding Sukuna that she really gets on his nerves, but at the same time he cannot deny her commitment 🤣 Of course, if you aren't interested in this kind of request, please ignore it. No need to force yourself, cutie 😊

YES YES YES! OKAY I LOVE THIS ONE! AAAAAAAA

Carried Away

Character: Kashimo Hajime

Warnings: Suggestive language and the end is slightly NSFW, Hajime is not so gentle at first... then...

In truth, you don’t know why you are behaving this way ― it is new to you.

Those who have always known you, those who grew up alongside you and call you friend, if they saw you now they wouldn’t recognize you: where did the elegant and reserved girl, even shy when it comes to certain topics, the embodiment of reserve, go? Where is the high-class young lady who blushes at the slightest swearing? You have lost all the discretion and good manners you have learned over the years, and you don’t even care about it anymore.

Now that he has entered your life, that you have truly seen what Beauty is capable of creating, nothing else arouses your interest. Only him… the god who answered your prayers and came to your rescue.

More or less.

“So the more you get excited, the more electric you become? And when you get embarrassed, or get excited? What happens then? I would like to see it…”

Looking at and listening to you from the outside, your tongue really has no rules, you are not imposing one on it. You seem totally transformed, a different person… a creature prey to lust and the desire to possess. Or rather, to be possessed. Possibly, for hours.

“I guess no one can resist you, not when you use those shocks… well, if you really need a guinea pig, I… I’m here. You could make me dance without any problems.”

Kashimo Hajime ― even if you don’t know and he doesn’t want to tell you it, that is his name ― gives you yet another furious look at such a comment and doesn’t even bother to respond, turning his gaze away and focusing on the road ahead. “Unbearable…”

It is been all the day, since you met for the first time, that you haven’t stopped following and tormenting him with your smiles, enthusiastic and spicy comments and constant questions, and he is losing patience and every hope to distance you; having ignored you wasn’t enough to keep you at distance, having treated you badly and almost attacked you to scare you and make you run away didn’t work, and now his self-control screeches, it wriggles and snorts dangerously like a wild beast kept tied up, and the temperature is starting to rise dramatically, making the blood boil. Many would have already fled; yet you remain in your place without fear, driven by something stronger than it and totally its prey. “Please, can you at least look at me?”

Forcefully planting his staff on the ground, Kashimo obliges and turns to stare at you. His eyes are wide and so bruised with anger they are pale, and this time you take a step back, slightly, just slightly, unsettled. The electric discharges that emanate from his body become more numerous, dry and rapid, they snap and hiss in your direction, ready to fry you until you are reduced to ashes. “Well, I’m looking at you right now. Are you happy now?”

You remain silent for a moment, contemplating the young man and not being affected by the tone in which he spoke to you, then you swallow a lump of saliva and sigh. “Yes. Now, I’d like to keep you company for a little while.”

He frowns and bares his teeth, a tiger about to pounce and tear. “I don’t need the company of a woman who can’t control her instincts. Don’t you have anyone else to torment? There are men and women who would pay dearly to have your beauty all to themselves. Go to them and leave me alone.”

You shake your head, then look back at Kashimo and answer with enviable confidence. “If I were looking for any man or woman, I would have let you go long ago. But I’m staying here.”

Kashimo rubs his eyes for a moment, growling softly, then takes a few steps closer. The asphalt cracks as he walks, cobwebs that creak painfully, but you don’t move and wait until his face is a few centimeters from yours, and a smile that isn’t a smile is painted on it. Everything in his expression screams danger to you, but it is too late to run away now. “Listen, doll, you’re trying to play without knowing the rules. And if you continue like this, you’re dead. Do you think I care about you, hmmm? Nobody does. So get out of here, you’ve already wasted too much of my time. This is the last time I’m telling you this and now, I warn you, I have no intention of holding back.”

You take a deep breath, then cross your arms over your chest; without wanting to, Kashimo recognizes that you have a lot of courage, at least as much as your shamelessness. “Do what you want with me, but if you think you can scare me and push me to leave by calling me these names, that’s not the strategy. I don’t really care what you can say and do. Also, I don’t feel like I offended you in any way.”

Hajime narrows his eyes as well and tilts his head to the side. “It’s true, but your comments are beyond appropriate. Don’t you have a minimum of modesty? In such a situation?”

You can’t help but stare into the man’s eyes, and then grin. “You mean I embarrassed you? My, my… I only told the truth⁓ And maybe you should notice too, how alluring you are.”

He remains silent for a moment, then nods and grins just as much. “I know it. But you recognize that we are not in the right time for such amenities, right?”

His tone is slightly gentler now, and you take the opportunity to smile softly. “I know. Maybe that’s also why I’m taking the initiative to… well, divert attention from the problem. At least for a little while.”

“Divert attention from the problem…” Kashimo sighs and rolls his eyes, then his gaze darkens a little. “Okay, let’s do this: I pay attention to you for a little while, and then you leave me alone. No more, no less.”

“Are you already tired of fighting with me yet? Are you giving up?”

“Darling, giving up isn’t in my vocabulary⁓”

You start to reply again, not wanting to let him win; but his lips rest on yours in an angry kiss and your wrists find themselves caged by his fingers in an iron grip, leaving no room for escape. His body imposes on yours all the control it can, and when you flinch under his force, he holds you still, chuckling against your lips. “You’re a girl who doesn’t give up easily, right?”, he then murmurs to you, before moving to your neck and biting it firmly, enough to make a tear of blood flow and make you moan loudly in surprise, sudden pain and pleasure, and then do the same thing with your shoulder, your chest, and you can be sure that he will continue like this all over your body, marking you until he leaves you voiceless, “and I like this. I have to say, you have my respect. So… why don’t you praise me a little more, since you’re so good at it?”

#jjk kashimo #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #kashimo x y/n #kashimo x you #hajime kashimo #kashimo hajime #kashimo x reader #kashimo jjk

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mewhenimanonymous · 4 months

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Paranoia (Chapter 3)

(Secret History/TSAA Tails x Paranoid!Reader)

A/N

hai guys sorry it’s been so long ;c i started writing the next couple chapters after i published 1 and 2 but i didn’t know where 4 should go so i stopped writing for a while and then i forgot about it. i haven’t been on tumblr for a while either so when i logged back on and saw how much traction paranoia got i was like ?!!?! thank you guys sm omg?! so like im gonna try to finish this fanfic eventually but chapter 4 is a total mess right now so here’s chapter 3!! im sorry it’s short but i promise chapter 4 (and maybe 5?!) will be longer :3

—————————————————————————————————————————

You couldn’t remember anything after that, or even right now as you’re trying to wake up after a deep nap. All noise is muffled, and everything is blurry, you can only make out an orange blob looking down at you.

Wait, where am I? Soon the loopiness starts to fade away, and you’re coming back to your senses, though certainly not completely yet as Tails looks totally different than when you last remember him. Crazy how the brain works.

“Tails,” you mumble quietly, but you’re shushed by a pointed, slender finger.

“It’s alright, my dear.” His usually sweet, younger voice you’re used to was replaced by a shrill and unnerving one.

I’m hallucinating. How many drugs did he pump me with? You feel his cold, lanky hand cup your cheek, his unnaturally sharp claws grazing your jawline.

“You’re all better now.” He leans into you, examining you, and you’re able to better inspect Tails’ new monstrous form your brain made up. Freakishly bright and hypnotizing blue and pink eyes staring into your soul, a wide joker-like grin with teeth so sharp and jagged even a dentist couldn’t save them, matted and unkempt fur now with a more orangish hue, not to mention how tall he’s become compared to his usual short stature, his figure so skinny you could see his rib cage… he looks sickening.

Seeing this grotesque version of your friend should be terrifying to you, but instead you’re met with an empty, numb feeling. Your subconscious must be aware of this hallucination.

“What… happened?” Your head is still fuzzy from the anesthesia, and you try to ignore the unnatural sight that’s bestowed upon you, knowing there’s no way Tails would be aware of what you’re seeing.

“Why, I fixed you! Now my sweetheart won’t have to worry about anything ever again!” He takes your hands and intertwines your fingers together, still staring… has he blinked yet?

Sweetheart? You cringe at the nickname, having an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Tails, what’s gotten into you?” You try letting go of Tails’ hands, but his grip becomes almost unbearingly tight and you let out a yelp.

“I’m protecting you! I never want my precious (Y/N) to be in harm’s way ever again! Especially not when you’re in this pitiful, repulsive universe you call home.” Tails rolls his eyes and looks to his right. You follow his gaze and widen your eyes as you become entranced by a bright, magenta-colored portal. There were many wires connected to it, most of which coming from a crystal of the same color that was sparking with electricity.

This has to be a dream.

“I was gonna wait until much later to reveal myself to you, but plans have changed. It looks like my newest project has already decided to start tearing this universe apart, and I couldn’t bear to stay in that pathetic skin-suit of my imposter any longer than I had to!” He started becoming visibly angry, and he was crushing your hands with such force you never thought could come from him. You let out a much more painful yelp, and Tails quickly lets go of your hands, looking remorseful as he picks them up gently and plants a sympathetic kiss on them. You have mixed feelings about this.

“Plus, I don’t want to hide anything from my darling. You deserve to see the real me~” Tails runs his hand up your neck, then traces a claw along your jaw and tilts your chin up to face him. His moves his face closer into yours, and seeing his face up close only makes him more disgusting to look at. Dark eye bags around his eyes, his breath reeking like he hasn’t brushed his teeth in months, and some gray hairs in his orange fur that shouldn’t be there—he wasn’t that old, yet… or was he?

He should be a major red flag to you, but now that you couldn’t feel any fear, it was replaced with sympathy. However this dream version of Tails got this way, you care about him, and you want to help him, even if it might not be real. Even if nothing he said made any sense to you.

“Tails, did you hit your head…? Have you been feeling alright?” You move his hand out of the way and try sitting up, however he forcefully twists your head to your right to look out the window. The outside world was slowly being drained of its color, with most of the world already gray and lifeless. There were veins of bright yellow light spreading all throughout the world—it looked almost like an infection of some kind. Debris and parts of the earth were floating up into the sky, and with it, the corpses of your friends—including a massacred version of a slightly familiar blue hedgehog.

“Either come with me, or stay here and DIE like the rest of your ‘FRIENDS’.” Tails’ voice becomes much more vile in tone, which would scare the life out of any normal person. “Quite frankly, you would be an imbecile to choose the latter. But I know you better than that, sweetheart~”

He was threatening you, but you can’t feel fear. You don’t fear death, but it’s not like you want to die, so he was still able to trap you. Even then, you don’t care about anything else, you just want to help him. Maybe you’re foolish, but you know that somewhere deep down, the real Tails is in there—at least, you hope. For all you know, this may not be Tails at all.

“I’ll… I’ll come with you.” You turn your head toward Tails as he lets go of your face, and a wide, sinister grin makes its way onto his face.

“Excellent choice, my dear~” He presses his chapped lips onto your cheek, giving a wet kiss that makes your body tense up. When he pulls away, he stares at you with his sickening grin for a moment longer, before grabbing your hand and leading you toward the portal.

You both stand at the edge, and he looks at you with a smug smirk.

“Ladies first~” Tails bows slightly as he gestures his hand toward the portal. You’re tempted to go ahead, but instead you push him in, and with a shrill yell he’s gone in an instant. You can’t help but snicker as you follow him inside.

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drawingducktalesducks · 11 months

Text

no terrafermians au continued. Kinda

Webby: I’ve never drawn on a public building before!

Lena: This old dump? Trust me, the amphitheater is more abandoned than public. I’m pretty much the only one who ever hangs here.

Webby: And me!

Lena: And you.

Webby: It's really cool though! Why don't people like it?

Lena: Mold, rot, the visual metaphor of abandonment and mortality embodied in a decaying framework of former glory. It's not for everyone. Gotta say though, good company makes a pretty big difference to the vibes of this place.

Webby: Hehe! Ooh, can you come do some more of that cool fire stuff around my sword horse?

Lena: Cool fire stuff coming right up, madam. I’ve only got a can of blue left though. That okay?

Webby: Sure! I’m down to just the green chalk too, anyway!

Lena: Making graffiti with chalk… you really stick to your own style, don’t you Pink.

Webby: I guess? … is that a good thing?

Lena: Duh. Being yourself is so radical.

Webby: Oh whew! That’s good! For a second I thought I was doing wrong the wrong way too!

Lena: ….. okay, spill. What’s up?

Webby: Nothing!

Lena: Uh huh. Your sword horse is frowning, Webby.

Webby: Oh.

Lena: And now you are too. Bottle cap for your thoughts?

Webby: Thanks. I guess… I guess I just feel bad about lying. To Granny. And to the guys.

Lena: Ah yes. The tweedle-three.

Webby: Aww, you're still angry at them for leaving me behind aren't you?

Lena: I reserve the right to be filled with spite.

Webby: You don't have to be, you know. They wanted to do a late night movie marathon and invited me- They’ve been really good about inviting me these days!- but I didn’t want to oversleep and miss out on meeting up with you, or make Granny suspicious by being tired in the morning. So I told them I didn’t feel like it…

Lena: But you did feel like it.

Webby: A little? I mean, I still wanted to see you more. They just looked so disappointed when I said no, and I couldn’t even explain why I wasn’t hanging out with them.

Lena: Dude. It won’t kill me not to see you every night. You can still hang with them.

Webby: I do! All the time!

Lena: So it's really just the lying thing that’s eating you up?

Webby: I think so. I thought keeping a secret would be fun, like a little adventure all of its own, but… I don’t know. It’s not, really. Or at least this one isn’t.

Lena: Well you could always-

Webby: I’m NOT going to stop sneaking out to see you, Lena! That would be the worst!

Lena: Cute, but for real. A few nights wouldn’t be-

Webby: THE WORST!

Lena: Okay okay. Heh. Guess we’ll have to find a way to get me back on Tea Time’s good side then.

Webby: How?

Lena: No idea. Maybe if I changed my name to Brittania.

Webby: Oh she’d hate that.

Lena: Yeah… Hey, wanna know a secret that’s actually kinda fun?

Webby: Yes please.

Lena: C’mon. This place has more to it than just old rocks and moldy props. Check this out.

Webby: GASP! A secret trap door!?

Lena: Pretty neat huh.

Webby: Where does it lead to? A hidden passageway through Duckburg? Buried treasure? The bones of the actors who mysteriously vanished on the night of the last performance?! OR A-

Webby: ….. bedroom?

Lena: Yeah, wrestling the mattress down here was a pain.

Webby: You decorated this?

Lena: With a blacklight. Took me forever to hook that up, had to ‘find’ enough extension lines so I could mooch off a nearby office building. Totally worth it though.

Webby: YOU HAVE A SECRET HIDE OUT, THAT’S SO COOL! Gosh, no wonder you spend so much time here!!

Lena: Ha ha yeah, right. Totally.

Webby: Oh and you’ve got plants! Do they have names? Isn't that one poisonous? Can I call her Vera? And a SKULL! And- oh oh are those the Featherweights!?

Lena: Yep.

Webby: IS THAT POSTER IN FRENCH???

Lena: You’ll never guess where I snagged it from.

Webby: FRANCE?

Lena: Wow, nice guess Pink. Paris, actually.

Webby: Is that where you got the skull too?

Lena: Nope, that’s from Italy.

Webby: YOU’VE BEEN TO ITALY! Did you see the colosseum? Does the sand still smell like blood? Did you climb Mount Vesuvius? Did you see the hollow imprints left in the ash of its previous victims? Is that where you got the skull from? Was there-

Lena: Shh, hold that thought.

Webby: Mmph?

Lena: Wait.

Webby: ...Um. It sounds like something’s knocking over your display of empty glass bottles.

Lena: Ugh.

Webby: Is that bad?

Lena: Your Granny’s got her ways of securing a perimeter, I’ve got mine. Keep it low, okay?

Webby: Okay-!

Lena: Let’s see what kind of idiots decided to take a stroll through the old haunted amphitheater.

Webby: Oooh, haunted? By what?

Lena: Me.

Webby: Oooohhh…

Lena: Oh great, of course it’s those idiots.

Webby: Who?

Lena: Beagle Boys.

Webby: Are they looking for-

Lena: Shh….

Webby: ?

Lena: ...

Lena: Alright, we're clear.

Webby: And a little amped up now too! Yay adrenaline!

Lena: Sorry about that. They never used to come around here.

Webby: You mean before you shoved a cake in Ma Beagle’s face to save me?

Lena: You know, that might be part of it. Talk about holding a grudge, am I right?

Webby: Heheh! Wait. How did they even know to look for you here?

Lena: I mean I did kinda trick them into taking me here, back when I got nabbed at the playground.

Webby: Oh!.... why?

Lena: My paper and pencils were here. “It’s all about presentation!” I told them “The spotlights! The dramatic flair! Don’t you want Ma Beagle to get the full satisfaction package?”

Lena: I said, while talking the Ugly Failures into letting me write a “Will” and some “Last Words” and toss it out to sea in a couple of bottles for me, just in case a certain butt-kicking and summersaulting genius happened to find 'em and rescue me.

Webby: Flatter.

Lena: Never. After that they gagged me. No idea why.

Webby: I love your cunning brain.

Lena: And here I thought you only liked me for my pretty face.

Webby: That too! Wait, was that sarcasm?

Lena: Was yours? Come on, time for you to be heading back. I’ll walk you.

Webby: You always walk me home.

Lena: If you ask me to jog this time I’m turning around right now.

Webby: Heh. Lena?

Lena: Yeah?

Webby: The Beagle Boys haven’t figured out where you actually live, right? They aren’t following you home?

Lena: I’m fine, Pink.

Webby: …That’s not a real answer.

Lena: Uh yeah, pretty sure it is.

Webby: Are you safe? Is your family safe?

Lena: I’m fine.

Webby: This doesn’t sound fine though. The Beagles are really, really good at holding grudges.

Lena: And bad at holding onto everything else, me included.

Webby: But you’re alone out here so much!

Lena: Which is fine.

Webby: If you need help, I can-

Lena: I said I’m fine, okay?

Webby: But you won’t actually say you’re safe!

Lena: So? Who cares!

Webby: Me! I care!

Lena: Oh so you go on crazy adventures for lunch, and what, you think I can’t survive living in Duckburg!?

Webby: No! I think you might be in danger now because of ME! I think Granny would know how to make this place safer if I could just tell her about it! I think I’m scared of something happening to my best friend, and it being my fault!

Lena: Nothing’s gonna happen-

Webby: The Beagles were RIGHT THERE.

Lena: -and even if it does-

Webby: SEE?

Lena: -I’m the one who brought you to the stupid Beagle birthday party in the first place. I’m not blaming you for something you didn’t even do!

Webby: Then let me help!

Lena: Webby… Look. I’ve been tweaking the tails of Ma Beagle and her boys for ages. I’ve flunked out of, like, half a dozen boarding schools without getting expelled for all the pranks and petty thefts I got up to- I’ve got top marks in messing with people and getting away with it.

Lena: When I say I’m fine, I really am fine. Okay? Trust me. I can handle myself out here.

Webby: …so the Beagles do know where you live.

Lena: I mean kinda? They don’t know they know though, if you know what I mean.

Webby: Can. Can I know where you live?

Lena: … it’s nothing special.

Webby: But then I could walk YOU home sometimes! We could meet up somewhere safer. You wouldn’t have to mess with so much… stuff.

Lena: You’re not gonna let this go, are you?

Webby: I will if it makes you really mad. But I’ll still worry about it.

Lena: Last thing I wanna do is worry you. Kinda goes against the whole ‘mysterious rebel’ image I’ve got going on.

Webby: No it doesn’t.

Lena: Whatever you say, Pink.

Webby: You walk me home because you worry about me too, don’t you.

Lena: No. You’re like, literally half ninja. The creepy shadows on street corners should be afraid of YOU, not the other way around.

Webby: You still walk with me though.

Lena: It’s called spending time with your friend. It’s a thing people do sometimes.

Webby: So is worrying about the people you care about lot. Like friends.

Lena: Mm. So is trusting them.

Webby: I thought telling your friends stuff was part of trusting them?

Lena: Whatever. Hey. We’re here. Moneybags McManor.

Webby: Oh, yeah. Yay.

Lena: You good for sneaking in? Need a distraction?

Webby: No, I’m okay. I’m... fine.

Lena: It’d really suck if Tea Time clocked you this late. I could lean on the bell while you go round back, or something.

Webby: I said I’m fine. You trust me, right?

Lena: … sure.

Webby: You, you have a good walk home, and… see you tomorrow night.

Lena: Looking forward to it.

Webby: ….

Lena: ...

Lena: …. Ugh okay. Listen.

Webby: YES!?

Lena: You- Wait, were you expecting this-? No, never mind.

Webby: Yeees?

Lena: You already… you already know where I live.

Webby: No I don’t?

Lena: Yes, Pink. You do. You meet me there every night. You named my stupid little potted plant and doodled on the wall of my living room.

Webby: But the only plants I’ve seen are the ones in your hideout, like Vera! And I’ve only drawn on the walls of the old theater!

Lena: Yeah.

Webby: … you. You live- there?

Lena: Just for the last couple of years. Not like I would’ve bothered decorating otherwise.

Webby: You live there? But, Lena-

Lena: It’s hidden and way safer than any house. You heard the dumb Beagle Boys walk right over the trap door, I’m literally right under their noses and they have no idea. It’s great. See? I told you, I’m fine.

Webby: It doesn’t even have heating! What’re you going to do when it gets cold?

Lena: Same thing I did last year.

Webby: Freeze!?

Lena: Blankets are a thing. So are 24-hour coffee shops and sneaking into theaters for late-night Mole Monster movie reruns. Chill.

Webby: Ha, chill. Right. I- I guess, I mean, I don’t know, but- Don’t you have family you can stay with?

Lena: I wouldn’t stay with my aunt even if she had a place here.

Webby: Why not?

Lena: It’s getting kinda late. Tell you tomorrow?

Webby: Or you could come in with me and tell me right now. Inside. Where it's warm.

Lena: Oh yeah, that would really just tickle your Granny’s biscuits. Finding the ‘bad influence’ sneaking into her granddaughter’s room in the dead of night? I can hear her posh, disproving scowl already. Shudder.

Webby: We could tell her about how you-

Lena: No. No, Webby, we are NOT telling her that.

Webby: But I’m sure she’d-

Lena: Think finding my aunt was the most responsible thing to do? Tell some official I've slipped my leash? Send me off to another boarding school so I turn into a ‘proper’ young lady?

Webby: Granny wouldn’t! I don’t think? Not without asking you first!

Lena: Sure, right. Because that’s what every other grown-up has been like so far.

Webby: I wouldn’t let her do any of that.

Lena: We’re both kids, Pink. No one really cares what we want. So like, go ahead and tell her all your secrets, tell her about sneaking off to go deface public property or whatever and get double grounded. Just leave my thing out of it.

Webby: ...

Lena: Webby.

Lena: I'm serious. Please don't.

Webby: … okay. I won’t say anything.

Lena: Good. Thanks.

Webby: I’ll just wait until you tell her yourself.

Lena: Not happening.

Webby: We’ll see. I can be VERY persistent! And I’ve never had a chance to mentally break someone before!

Lena: Wow I feel so special.

Webby: You are! See you tomorrow?

Lena: Sure. I’ll be the one squatting at the ruined old amphitheater, playing tick-tac-toe with the spiders and tying the Beagle Boy’s shoe laces together when they’re not looking.

Webby: And I’ll be the one who can’t wait to see you again! Good night, Lena.

Lena: ‘night Pink. Sleep tight.

Webby: Ha, I will! And don’t let the bed bugs bite!

Lena: Yeah….Man I wish they wouldn’t…. I’m joking, I’m joking! Geeze don’t look so heartbroken. Web- W-Webby! Hug too tight, can’t breathe!

Webby: Sorry!

Lena: Eh, I deserved it. But you’ve BEEN on my bed, Pink. We made an emergency pillow fort. You know the worst thing about the mattress is food stains and squeaky springs.

Webby: I’m still bringing you a heated blanket next time I come by! AND A MOP! WITH SOAP!

Lena: Do you even know how to use one?

Webby: We’ll find out!!!

Lena: Sure Pink. As thou wishest.

Webby: Heheh, yesss…your defenses against me are already crumbling…

Lena: Oh my duck just go to bed already.

Webby: Egads! And I have no defenses against you at all!

Lena: ‘night.

Webby: Goodnight, my angel of the abandoned opera house~

Lena: It’s a theater, not a… Wait… was that-

Webby: NOPENOTAREFERENCETOANYINGPHANTOMRELATED. SEEYOUTOMORROWBYE!

Lena: ......

Lena: … yeah. See you then, mam'selle Daaé.

Lena: Wakey-wakey, evil aunt lady. I'm home.

Magica: Oh goody. And look, the two of your drew adorable little artworks together. Not ones of the interior of Scroogie’s manor or his private rooms, but I’m SURE these stupid, insipid scrawlings of IDIOTIC goats will help us find the dime.

Lena: It’s a sw- it’s a unicorn, not a goat.

Magica: AND we’ve wasted another night teaching the shut-in freak-show how to fleece a vending machine!

Lena: Will you chill. She’d never seen one before.

Magica: Pathetic! Do you think you can buy your freedom with a stolen soda pop can? How exactly is THIS helping us with our plan!?

Lena: The plan is going great okay?

Magica: IS IT? OR ARE YOU JUST TOO BUSY PLAYING HOUSE WITH THAT ANNOYING, OVEBEARING, MORONIC LITTLE -

Lena: She’s gonna keep inviting me over! Especially now she knows about… this.

Magica: Ha! Your disgusting little hole in the ground, you mean.

Lena: Yeah yeah, that’s right, rub it in. But my ‘disgusting’ hole in the ground is the perfect reason for her to get me in the mansion as much as she can. And Colonel Crumpet not liking me is also the perfect excuse for me sneaking around while I’m there!

Magica: Hmmm.

Lena: It’ll work, okay? You’ll get the dime and your body back, I'll get the hell away from you.

Magica: YES. MUWAHAH! VENGANCE AT LAST! Then we’ll watch the heartbreak in the pink one’s eyes as she realizes her ‘best friend’ was nothing but a LIE!

Lena: Right. Can’t wait.

Magica: Ooooh, it’ll almost be worth all this just to see her fall to pieces. Do you think she’ll cry? I hope she SOBS!

Lena: I gotta get some sleep now, aunt Magica. Keep it down.

Magica: Oh ho. Have I touched a nerve?

Lena: You’re shouting in my ear.

Magica: Oh all right. Sweet dreams, Leeena~ Don’t let the love bugs bite.

Lena: I’m not- whatever. Just let me sleep.

Magica: If you can.

Lena: …

#Ducktales (2017)#weblena #webby vanderquack #lena #magica de spell #no terrafermians au #incorrect quotes #potential fic dialogue #never gonna be a fic might as well post it

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starmora · 1 year

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Something I've been thinking about is what we aren't shown in vol 3 when it comes to Gamora's emotions. There have been a lot of justified criticisms of her role and of how the mcu has treated parts of her story. I really hope they continue because it's an important conversation to have. But for now I want to come at this from a different angle and dig deeper on what we didn't get. I can only imagine how much anger Gamora must have at knowing she helped create a beautiful family and then Thanos killed her and now she will never be able to experience it in that same way. It has to hurt. Now she's here and she's doing the best she can with what she's got and it probably doesn't feel like enough. Especially when being compared to things she didn't get to experience. So when we get to the end of the movie and we have Peter moving forward enough in his grief to see Gamora for who she is in the moment and where she is at right now in her life and essentially tell her that she's enough, it's really beautiful and poignant and you can see it makes her happy. So happy that she finds the strength to be vulnerable and return the sentiment by finally saying she is at her core the woman he loved. It's such a powerful and loving moment.

True it's not her "I love you more than anything" but you know what that moment in Infinity War was the result of healing she was robbed of and hasn't found again yet. "I bet we were fun" was a huge step in the direction of finding that healing again. So people shouldn't didmiss it. And just to be clear I'm not speaking about people critiquing the fact that vol 3 dropped the ball on so much of Gamora's role and how she deserved so much better after Infinity War. I'm speaking about people who thought the exchange meant nothing and showed no emotional connection or that it was somehow shutting down that Gamora had any sort of feelings for Peter.

I can totally understand why Gamora would be hesitant to come back to this family that her alternate self created, even though I know she was curious and still craved to find that sort of thing (doesn’t she ask nebula about the guardians and alternate gamora in endgame? I haven’t watched the movie in actual years). I bet she was feeling a lot of pressure over it, like they would expect things of her that she was not able or willing to give to what were basically strangers to her, and decided the best thing for herself was to cut it off at the knees and leave it fully aside and make no attempts to get to know anyone. I think it’s pretty obvious though that she clearly still wanted something like that, and that’s why she kept in contact with Nebula and still calls her, her sister, and why she found the Ravagers and carved out a new home for herself there. But I do want to think that maybe she IS a little sad that there are things that were taken from her by Thanos. I don’t think she regrets her new family or her decision to keep the guardians at arms length, but yeah, I’m sure she’s contemplated what that would be like. Her “I bet we were fun” feels like proof that she’s thought about it, at least a little.

And you’re right, him acknowledging her as her own separate person DOES make her extremely happy! I think him saying that to her was really important for her, enough to start planting the seeds for this idea that, no, she will never be this other Gamora that they (and especially Peter) loved, but she is still worthy of love now and it can be totally separate. She doesn’t have to live in this other Gamora’s gigantic shadow. I think that was a big concern for her, and having him acknowledge that he liked her for who she was now was very relieving to her, and it allowed her to admit to him that she’d been thinking about them and what they must have been like. It’s a really big and important step for both of them and I’m tired of seeing people dismiss it as an end for them. It truly wasn’t!

#callie.txt #answered #anonymous #this is a few days old but I’ve been thinking abt it the whole time and I still don’t think I answered with all of my thoughts but #it’s good enough for now #I’ll never be done talking about these two #vol 3 questions #vol 3 spoilers

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no1frogfan · 1 year

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Your Miyuki/Nutritionist!Reader story sounds like a lot of fun!! (I’m totally rooting for Mariner!Miyuki, too 🤭 do it do it do it do it!!!)

You mentioned another Daiya WIP— might I know the details on that one, too? 👀

IX! You’re really enabling me here. Mariner Miyuki is just…my dream I want him so bad.

I would LOVE to share my other Daiya WIP with you. Thank you for sending an ask!!

My other idea is a first meeting with hopefully all the fun exciting beginnings of a friendship and potential romance. Coach Kataoka has volunteered himself and the team to help with the first planting for the new community garden near Seidou. A lot of work has already been done (cleared up the debris and garbage from the lot, figured out layout, built the shed and greenhouse, etc.), but there’s still a lot of work to do finish the raised beds and mix and prep the soil before the seedlings can go in, and that’s where the team comes in. Coach thinks this is a good way to warm them up and let loose a bit before spring training (I’d have to double check on the timing of the training/game schedule though to be sure of when it would be.)

This idea is less fleshed out, probably a one-shot. I just think it would be so much fun to be able to write teammate banter & dirt shenanigans! I also personally love vegetable gardening and it’s the beginning of planting season so it just feels very indulgent hehe. I haven’t fully decided who to center it on yet, but I’ve narrowed it down to Chris, Eijun, or Kuramochi. They all have very different energies, but I’m leaning toward Kuramochi because he’s kind of a dweeb and that’s endearing.

Don’t know how well it fits with his personality, but for you, I’ve conjured up some lines below!

“Watch out for th—!”

He lets go of Eijun and the ground falls out from under his feet, like one of those old old cartoons, he thinks wryly, as he pitches forward into thin air and hangs suspended for what feels like minutes. His hands automatically reach out, trying to grasp anything within reach to keep himself upright. His fingers close around the first thing they touch. He’s dimly aware of a shriek, then he lands flat on his back, something landing on his chest right after and knocking the wind out of him.

Shouts, heavy footsteps, muffled voices. “Everyone take a step back.” He recognizes the deep tenor of the coach’s voice.

Kuramochi cracks opens his eyes, everything’s a haze. It feels like there’s a weight on his chest keeping him from taking anything more than a shallow breath. Something itches his nose, and— The weight lifts (with a groan?), the dots clouding his vision clears, and he gasps, coughing and sputtering as he gulps a lungful of air. He props himself up, about to look around when—

“What the hell was that?!”

He leaps to his feet, spinning around (a bit wobbly still) to confront the person yelling at him. But the words die on his tongue when he sees you. Beside him, Eijun is apologizing profusely, Miyuki is egging you on, but Kuramochi just stands there dumbly while you scold them. (“Seriously? You’re supposed to be here helping prepare the community garden and the two of you are just dicking around instead. Both of you could’ve gotten really hurt! I could’ve gotten really hurt!”)

You stop to brush some of the dirt off your face and overalls.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, so uncharacteristically timid that even Eijun and Miyuki pause their antics.

You glare, not at all intimidated by him or any of the dozen other athletes crowding around you, and maybe that’s what makes his mouth run dry.

#unintelligible croaking #🎉 6 month tumblrversary #froggy scribbles #daiya no ace #kuramochi youichi #ix 🌦️

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astriiformes · 1 year

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Ooh, how bout 3 and 29 for the ao3 wrapped questions?

Answered 3!

29 - Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Cheating a little here and posting two just because they have hilariously different vibes that I think, collectively, really showcase some of my strengths as a writer -- I'm realizing with a lot of what I've posted this year and last year that one of the things that makes me stories distinct is a real blend of dark, heavy elements (often whumpy, always very hearfelt) and comedy

For the former category -- I still really love all the speeches from the resurrection scene at the end of Aurum Horizontale, but Keyleth's turned out especially poignant, I think, because it walked a very fine line calling attention to the irony of the whole AU concept without feeling too heavy-handed about it:

“Maybe I was just dumb,” she said. “Maybe I was… I was imagining things, when we talked. But I’ve never been very good with people, and ever since our first conversation it was so exciting, feeling like you and I just… clicked. Like we understood each other, even though we’re such totally different people. And I always thought… I always…” Giving a particularly loud, choked sob, Keyleth picked up one of Percy’s hands and held it for a moment, like a lifeline. It took a while for her to gather herself to continue. “I was probably just being stupid,” she said. “Like, how could I know? But sometimes, I found myself thinking that hey, in another universe or something, where I got to see you more than like, one night a week, and we could go get stupid levels of drunk together and I could hug you and where you weren’t stuck in a living nightmare, we could’ve been each other’s best friends. I think… I think I thought about that a little too much, honestly. About coming here, and freeing you, and getting to take you to my favorite shitty bars, or maybe even Zephrah someday. And maybe you don’t want that. Maybe that part was all in my head. But I guess… I guess I’m just not okay with living in a universe where I never get to find out, you know? It was always an “if,” and it’s still an “if,” but if I never find out for real… I’m going to live a long time, probably, and I don’t want to spend all that time wondering. I don’t want you to be gone.”

And as for the latter, comedic category all the chat sections of Several Witches Are Typing were a lot of fun to write -- I would never write a full chatfic, I think, but as an important element of a larger story where it thematically "fit" it was a very fun exercise in character voices to try to figure out how all the kids would text (Tragically, I failed to predict the wildly out-of left field nonsense that is Hunter's actual, canonical texting style, but I'm not even mad because it's funny and perfect)

Anyways, this was a favorite of those:

9:53PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: hey caleb 9:53PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: u know all the coven heads 9:53PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: im dying to know if you have dirt 9:56PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: What does dirt have to do with my rank? 9:57PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: She means like do you know anything embarrassing about any of them 10:03PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: Terra talks to her plants all the time. 10:03PM 9/21/20 - hello_willow: hey, i talk to my plants😕 10:03PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: Captain, I can guarantee that you are infinitely more normal about it. 10:03PM 9/21/20 - hello_willow: oh well thank you 10:03PM 9/21/20 - hello_willow: 💚🌱 10:05PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: Kikimora’s ringtone is “Material Ghoul.” 10:05PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: 🤣🤣🤣 10:05PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: No WAY 10:06PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: What about Belos 10:06PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: omt yes tell us about the emperor 10:09PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: That would be a betrayal of his trust in me. 10:09PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: Wow you must know something REALLY embarrassing 10:09PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: No. I just respect him. 10:10PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: sounds like something somebody who knows something super embarrassing about the Emperor would say 10:11PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: It does not.

#'it does not' still makes me laugh every time #slowly learning that my niche as a writer is 'earnest dark comedy' and honestly i can live with that #ask meme #my writing

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philosophicalparadox · 17 days

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Look at my pretty girl. I seldom get photos of her this good because she’s, true to her name (Skit) rather skittish. She’s a Five Keeled or Oaxacan Spiny Tailed Iguana, one of the smallest species in the world, second only to the Yucatan species. She is fully grown at 14 inches long (total length, her snout to vent length is about 6 inches).

I would love to use her as an educational resource. You see, Skit was wild caught. We know she was wild caught because 1, her species basically doesn’t exist in captivity at all, and therefore finding a captive bred one would be close to impossible, and 2, because she was tested for parasites as all iguana species should be, and found to have a specific parasite found mostly in her native range. (Oaxaca, Mexico)

I got Skit from a stranger online who posted her in a facebook group asking for help. No one knew what species she was, not even me until I got ahold of some Ctenosauria experts After I took her home. She was very malnourished, because the previous owner couldn’t get her to eat anything at all, and since that person had never had an iguana, never mind a delicate semi-arid species, she didn’t house her correctly either.

Skit did not recognise food in a dish as food. That was problem number one. She’d grown up in the wild, where food was on branches, or growing from the ground. So I had to feed her selectively pruned mulberry and hibiscus leaves still on the branch from my yard. (Which there’s no pesticides in; our neighbours don’t use them either due to borough ordinances). And slowly but surely train her to understand that the leaves in her bowl were the same as was on the branches.

She was also completely batshit crazy scared of me. More than once this terrified lizard tried to bite me and ran up my arm in pure terror, desperate to escape my hands. To this day hands are bad. She hates hands. She will bite hands, but not before bolting so hard she will injure herself trying to get away from them. I’ve tried all manner of things to ease her fears, and over the last three or so years I’ve had her we’ve made immense progress — she will patiently wait on her station under her lamp in the second picture(she taught herself to do this) while I place the food in her enclosure, without bolting, and rarely, if I’m very quiet and don’t stare directly at her, she will let me watch her eat.

She will selectively take food from tongs, but they must be long enough to keep my hands away. She is still terrified of being touched by fingers, so if I need to touch her to help with shedding skin or something I use a soft paintbrush with some aloe on it.

If for any reason I need to remove her from the enclosure I have to trap her. It’s way too stressful to grab her and she can bite through a goatskin leather glove. (I learned this the hard way while transferring her to this enclosure from her old one). The trap needs to be different every time, because iguanas are very clever and she will not fall for the same trap twice.

But the hardest part of all was figuring out what habitat to create for her. Five Keels are so rare in the hobby as to be practically unheard of. There are no care sheets for this species. I had to figure it out all by my lonesome.

And I’ve had great success, considering I’ve kept her alive and healthy so far. The reason this species is so rare is because they don’t often adapt to captivity very easily, and are super delicate. They also have a small geographical range and are critically endangered in that range, so she either came here as an incidental on a plant (possible since she was a juvenile the size of an anole when I got her) or was smuggled. But either way I had no recourse whatsoever with how to take care of her.

I wound up looking up meticulously the average humidity, temperature, UV exposure and species of tree found in Oaxaca, on the pacific side where these animals are native. I’ve since done all I can to replicate that environment using cork rounds to replace tree hollows, as many plants as she will allow (she still prefers to eat them so I can only plant edible or non toxic ones; thus far she doesn’t like the taste of spider plants, chlorophytum sp. So that’s what’s thriving in there).

I constantly wonder if there’s something better I could be doing. I’m forever trying to add height to her enclosure and plan to get an even bigger one for her to explore since she’s much calmer when she knows she has places to get away. I hate to say it but I’ve grown rather attached to her despite knowing that she’s not an especially hardy species and could theoretically perish for any reason or none at all.

But she’s a little survivor.

I’m not sure why I’m making this post to be honest. Maybe because I want people to know that if all else fails replicating an animals native environment is almost always a good idea (unless it’s a tarantula or other species that for some reason actually does not appreciate a “wild” environment, but one that caters to them very specifically even if it’s quite far from looking like their native habitat, OR if it’s a domestic species whose native habitat is Our habitat or one we make for them, like button quail or house mice) especially if it’s not an animal that’s common.

Maybe I just wanted to share because it’s a pretty incredible experience to even have the opportunity. And maybe I want to caveat against people trying to get “cool” pets on the off hand she was smuggled, because not to toot my own horn but I am pretty sure if she’d ended up in anyone else’s hands she’d probably of died. If I didn’t have the experience I do with not only iguanas but other exotic species, and hadn’t of thought to meticulously do the research, she might’ve died. She almost certainly would have starved if I didn’t happen to have a mulberry tree in my back yard and have the sense to think to offer her fresh foliages, and if she was a less smart iguana she’d of never put two and two together to eat out of a bowl.

A combination of story, chance and warning. I think that’s why I’m putting this here.

#wildlife #exotic pets #wildlife biology #rare animals #animal rescue

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britesparc · 11 months

Text

Weekend Top Ten #587

Top Ten Villagers in Stardew Valley

My family is, at the time of writing, caught in the pixelated grip of another Stardew Valley addiction. My wife keeps restarting the game to attempt a perfect run. Daughter #1 has adopted a baby. Daughter #2 is about to propose. It’s all kicking off down Pelican Town.

Me? I just like fishing. Caught two of the five legendary fish so far. My aim is to become like Homer in that one episode of The Simpsons, spoken of in hushed tones by idiots at a bait shop.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Stardew. It’s great because it’s one of those games that’s simultaneously very relaxing and also profoundly anxiety-inducing. There’s a quaint lustre to the simple village life as you plant crops and tend to your farm, taking part in odd little celebrations with the other townsfolk, making friends, running errands. But then there’s also the constant ticking clock of the seasons, attempting to buy and grow and ship and catch everything you can, and the increasingly difficult adventuring in the games many caves and caverns. There’s tons to uncover – I’ve hardly seen it all – and as well as the actually taxing nature of some of the challenges, there’s also the mental strength required to keep every end straight and balance the whole game strategically.

Or you could just chat everyone up.

One of the big draws of the game – and I’ve looked online and can confirm this to be the case – is in its cast of villagers. The various oddballs and eccentrics all exist, essentially, as their own little quest, a regular need to keep them happy and give them gifts on their birthday as well as increasing your relationship level to unlock various perks and snippets of backstory. There’s a lot to unpeel in the game’s vaguely Twin Peaks-meets-Northern Exposure setting, and that’s before you even get onto the whole romance angle as you seek a willing bachelor or bachelorette (pretty sure it’s set in some fictionalised version of “America”), doing up your house so there’s room for them to move in and, later on, have a couple of sprogs.

And that’s what we’re talking about here. Each villager has a suitably different personality, with different things they’ll say and different histories to unfurl. And some are, frankly, more interesting or amusing than others. Some I think are genuinely sad! So what follows is a celebration of my favourite residents of Pelican Town; the best villagers in Stardew Valley. And that’s all there is to it really. Praise Yoba!

Willy: I already said my favourite part of the game is the fishing, and I’m currently trying to catch everything, so I’m naturally drawn to Willy (not like that). He’s a filthy, raggedy, salty old sea dog who probably stinks. He lives in a shack by the sea and I imagine he sounds exactly like Robert Shaw playing Quint in Jaws. Despite all this, he seems to be something of a “town elder” and commands a good deal of respect. Life goals, essentially.

Robin: an absolute superwoman and by a considerable distance the most capable character in the game. You get the impression she built half of Pelican Town single-handedly, including her massive house and 90% of your actual farm. She’s got a silly sense of humour, seems largely unflappable, and has a really cool family with her weirdo son, mad scientist daughter, and totally spaced out Egon Spengler husband.

Clint: a proper sadsack of a character, an overweight mopey beanbag who bitches about his job and his life and rather heartbreakingly pines for Emily, who doesn’t appear to return his affections even if you don’t marry her. He’s a really smart and useful blacksmith, knowing his stuff and being super helpful, but it’s the undercurrent of tragedy to his life that I find oddly endearing.

Linus: another character with a hint of tragedy to them, but unlike Clint who’s ostensibly on the up but a mardy bum, Linus has nowt but is happy about it. A weird hermit dressed in leaves who sleeps in a tent and robs from bins, Linus is naturally very guarded but once you get through to him he’s super-loyal and dependable, and no one in town seems to look down on him or belittles him.

Abigail: she’s a purple-haired goth who hangs around in the graveyard, dreams of wearing a suit of armour, and wants to go on adventures in the mines. Of all the prospective husbands and wives in Stardew Valley, Abigail is clearly the most badass and likely the most bonkers. Not necessarily my first choice for prospective spouse, however, as I can’t shake the fact she’s supposed to be about sixteen.

Maru: whereas Abigail is an emo-tinged adventure junkie, Maru is all about the science. A dungaree-clad tinkerer, her room is littered with parts of actual robots and all manner of strange and elaborate machinery. She nearly electrocutes you at one point. Thinking about it, she’s pretty badass too.

Leah: Maru is science but Leah is art. An airy-fairy semi-hippy who hangs out in a picturesque cabin by the lake where she spends most of her time painting and sculpting. And that’s great; there’s something really optimistic about her and her outlook. Plus her house is lovely. God knows why she’d leave it to move into your shithole of a farm. Poor sod.

Gunther: Gunther is an enigma. Ostensibly an expert on historical antiquities, relics, and precious minerals, he can explain away any oddball trinket you find, and give you a nice reward for donating it to him. He’s very rarely seen outside his museum and there’s precious little to indicate any exterior life. Does he have friends? Where does he actually sleep? How does he find time to serve coffee in Central Perk? But the most bizarre thing is that he appears to be a general from the American Civil War. What the hell is up with that?

Pam: once more we return to the realm of quasi-tragedy, as Pam is quite seriously an alcoholic. She lives in a shitty trailer with her daughter Penny (very nearly on the list, sorry, Pen); she’s unemployed and drinks all the time. But peer under the surface and you see she’s not just a lush; there’s sadness and disappointment there. And she’s still one of the old-school bigwigs, popping up in Gus’ saloon to have important meetings. And you can help her get her life back together, getting her old job back and building her a house. It’s a redemptive tale.

Gus: just edging out the likes of Penny, Emily, Pierre, and Harvey, we have Gus. A comedy barkeep with a Mario tasche. He’s always got a kind word of welcome when you walk into Stardrop Saloon. He gives free food to Linus! What a mensch!

Maybe I should have also included that cat/mouse thing that sells hats. They’re really weird.

#top ten #games #gaming #stardew valley #concerned ape

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lungetuna06 · 2 years

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Tips For Funeral Planning

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funeral program funeral booklets online funeral programs online funeral program The funeral service for my Mom proved more difficult than my sister, Diane, and I had anticipated. There were more details to cover with the funeral home than we had supposed. Besides notifying relatives and friends, there were details to manage we had not given much thought such as Mom's insurance policy, locating the paper work on her burial plot, a burial dress, picking out a casket, and more.

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While within parents' home last week, my Mom was flipping through region paper when she stumbled upon Laura's obituary. Laura hadn't really crossed my mind in years, but at the news of her passing, I thought back on those Saturday mornings. Furthermore began don't forget something Laura taught me without ever even knowing she was sending a lesson forward.

At the start this newsletter I mentioned that grow by copying other businesses. Yet now I'm saying that copying is killing the funeral home industry. So which is actually right? Actually, both statements are right at different times so in different conditions. Here's a rule of thumb we learned from my business mentors rice. If your industry is rapidly expanding, an easy strategy is actually copy the leaders and grow associated with industry. For example, during the 1990?s Dell copied IBM's personal computer and grew into an enormous corporation. They eventually overtook IBM and have become the leader in laptop market. Jesus isn't telling us not to prepare for our future. In fact, it would be foolish for us NOT to prepare for our future, especially our future life even as die. After we want individual a future with God, we must prepare ourselves spiritually NOW by doing his are employed in this world and by using his will for our everyday life. In fact, I've been writing and preparing this sermon in mid-summer-a time when farmers prepare for that fall and winter by harvesting the crops which have been planted in the year. Just being the farmer prepares his fields before he plants his crops, need to prepare essential our next lives especially since we never know when likewise give you die. If not, we automatically prepare ourselves to the life in hell. Getting in order to my answer, I asked their religion. Why did I compel? In some religions an incredibly real a prohibition of desecrating a body after someone has were killed. An autopsy, according to somewhat of an religions, impedes a person's ability to search to the afterlife by having an intact core. In her case, there no religious prohibition to performing an autopsy. Decide on where extra flab the flower arrangement to go. Much in lust like that flowers have unique distinct meanings, the different arrangements for funeral flowers have different meanings and serve various purposes. For example, pick a casket spray if you want a floral arrangement which be placed on top of your respective coffin. In regards to the other hand, a standing spray a great arrangement placed standing next to the body for this deceased.

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And there's more good news: you're growing new neurons at almost the same rate that you will be losing them. This means that the total number of brain neurons you have at age 20 isn't significantly over what you'll have at age 70. Solar lights aren't slowly going in your thought process. You can think just fine at all ages.

#funeral program

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stargazer-balladeer · 3 years

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S/o’s birthday but locks themselves in their rooms because they don’t feel special [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Aether, Childe, Diluc, Kaeya & Venti.

Notes: Ayeeee! Since it’s my birthday today, why not make this? :))) I actually got carried away 🥲 this is around 3.5k words in total. Hope ya’ll like this!

Reader’s Gender: Neutral (tho i think there’s a slight implied female hehe…)

Warning: probably some swear words here and there knowing me- and mild suggestive themes in kaeya’s part

[albedo, scaramouche, xiao]

Aether remembers your birthday more than he knows his- like srsly, he’s the kind that remembers his s/o’s bday more than his. He’s also the kind that celebrates it privately unless you want to celebrate it with others, which he doesn’t mind. He might have a hard time deciding what kind of gift you want, but sooner or later, he already has one (or multiples bc he can’t decide-).

Imagine his confusion when your day finally arrives but he can’t find you anywhere, even Paimon, who was excited to celebrate your bday (“oohh~ I can’t wait to eat the cake!” - Paimon), seems confused. Probably the culprit in planting worry in the travellers head as she jumps to conclusion that you might’ve been kidnapped.

Luckily, he checked your house before he could report it to the knights of Favonius or the Qixing (like any normal person should do really-). When he received no reply, he takes out the spare key you gave him and entered your house, an invasion of privacy he knows but it's an emergency-

Knowing that you’re in your room when he can’t find you downstairs, he knocks on your bedroom door softly while calling your name. Imagine his (and Paimon’s) relief when the door cracked open. Immediately engulfing you into a hug, he lets out a sigh of relief. He then proceeds to ask you what you were doing inside your room when it’s your birthday. His heart literally broke when you stated your reason. Tightening his hold around your figure, he smiles bitterly, knowing that feeling all too well..

“That’s not true. None of that stuff is true. Everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday, most especially you. We’ve brought some food, and cake of course. Also some gifts from other people. If you want, do you want to celebrate it with just the two, or rather three, of us?”

You, who was a literal angel in his eyes deserve the world. He honestly wants to find whoever put that idea in your head but that was reserved for another moment. For now, his main priority is your happiness. Guiding you downstairs where Paimon was (she left when aether hugged you, knowing you two needed privacy. also the cAKE-), he watches as your eyes sparkle at the sight of the cake.

Grinning softly he made sure you had fun with your birthday. Even though it would be more fun with more people, it feels more special if it’s celebrated with just the two of you. Staring you with pure adoration as you laughed merrily at the sight of Paimon stuffing herself with food. He couldn’t help himself but lean forward to place a kiss on your forehead and then on your lips, leaning back with a smile on his face.

“Happy birthday, my love. May many more to come. Maybe next time, we can invite other people. Though I don’t mind if we’ll celebrate it with just the two of us only-” And Paimon! Don’t forget about Paimon!” “Yes yes. And Paimon.”

Similar to Aether, he would most definitely remember your birthday. After all, it holds a special place in his heart, alongside his family. And since this boi is rich af, he would most definitely try to spoil you on your birthday. Piles of expensive (or just cheap yet meaningful) gifts, reservation to a high-class restaurant in Liyue Harbor, and all that glamour.

Actually, he didn’t find it odd that he didn’t see you immediately, thinking that you overslept or just relaxing in your house. But he soon finds it weird when it’s already around 3 in the afternoon and no sign of your face in the crowd, something he raised a brow at but shrugged it off. It isn’t until it’s almost the time of the reservation he made when he finally realized what’s going on.

When he arrived at your house, dressed in a suit similar to Zhongli except it’s entirely black and white, waiting for you to come out. After a couple of minutes, he soon got concerned and decided to enter your bedroom through the window (pls do not do this at home). Startled at the sudden appearance of your handsome yet cheeky boyfriend, he stares at you with eyes asking the questions he didn’t dare to tell.

Knowing he will get his answer one way or another, you decided to tell him about your dilemma. After you finished explaining yourself, silence surrounds you, which is quite worrisome since your boyfriend is known for his rather talkative behavior. Blinking in surprise at the sudden embrace of the 11th Harbinger, his hug was rather tight but not too tight that it cuts your oxygen. Speaking in a low, faint voice, a surprising feat for him, you can make out what he said as clear as day.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed it sooner. I was trying to be a perfect boyfriend for you but I guess I failed in that aspect. You know, if you feel like you aren’t special enough to celebrate your birthday, then what about me? Me who stained his hands with the red blood of his enemies, always engaging in a fight, clashing with other blades. Insecurity is really an asshole huh? Let me make it up to you now. Let’s not anymore go to that stupid high-class restaurant, c’mon, up you go. You better dressed comfortably when I come back or else…”

Leaving you quickly before coming back immediately, this time in more comfortable clothing rather than the stiff suit he wore earlier. This time as well, he entered your house normally through the door. In his arms, he was holding a bunch of stuff and proceeded to dump it on the living room table. It was different kinds of movies in different genres, you spotted some of your favorite movies in them (makes you also wonder where he got these from since you don’t remember seeing these in the room he stays-).

He would suggest making a pillow fort, and while making the pillow fort, he proceeded to smack you with one. Which ensued a pillow fight between you two. It successfully made the both of you a laughing mess by the end, filled with feathers. Childe then carries you bridal style to the incomplete pillow fort and starts the movie you chose. Placing you in his lap and placing his head either on your shoulder or head depending on your height, cuddling you from behind tightly with a contented smile on his face.

“You know what? This might not be how I envisioned how your birthday would go, but I’m not complaining. Happy birthday, comrade. My most adorable and most cutest and only love. I love you so much that you’ll be the very reason why I die so suddenly. So stop being so cute okay?”

(You two are living together in this one.)

Diluc has the probability of forgetting your birthday due to his busy schedule, especially if it’s starting to rise when your birthday draws near. He might neglect you for a couple of days, too engrossed in his work. When the day finally arrives, it completely leaves his mind. Like he’ll think of it as a completely ordinary working day. It isn’t until one of your friends told him to send you their birthday greetings that he remembered. And oh boy does he feel guilty, like srsly, he literally froze when he realizes what day it is today. And you know what that means? ✨Panicc✨

Honestly, I can see him buying the whole store XD. In the state of panic, his common sense just leaves him completely that he ends us buying practically the whole store. It would be sent to the Dawn Winery immediately as he buys some flowers from Flora, who also sent you her birthday greetings, which made him more guilty-

When Diluc steps foot inside the manor, he tries to search for you outside the gardens where he usually finds you but when he doesn't, he gets worried. Asking the head maid immediately about your whereabouts, and his concern and worry (and guilt) grew even more when he finds out that you haven’t gone out of your room. He quickly went to your shared room, with the flowers still in his hands, and knocked on your door. Calling your name softly and asking for permission to enter, when granted he entered the room as quickly as possible. But seeing the sight of you bundled up in your blanket made his heart crack.

Placing the flowers at the bedside table, he quickly made his way in front of you and kneeled down to meet your eye level. You can tell he was very worried about you with how frantic his eyes seem and the concern underlying it. With the way he was staring at you, you can’t help but spill your insecurity to him. The reason why you were hiding in his room rather than go out to celebrate your day of birth. Every word you spill made his heart break even more. Seeing tears started to leak from your eyes, he placed his two hands on your face wiping away the tears with his thumbs. Smiling at you gently and placing a kiss on your eyelids and on your nose.

“I completely understand, my love. Even I sometimes feel that way. Also to the point where I don’t want to celebrate my birthday even, but that won’t do my love. You are so special, you deserve your special day to be well special. If you want to simply lay here and sleep, then so be it. If you want to go out and do something, then I’ll happily oblige. Let’s obliterate those awful thoughts, and if those keep persisting, I’ll slice them up for you. I’ll keep picking you up when you fall. So, what is your command, my love?” (i'm so tempted for him to say master-)

Whatever your answer may be, one thing for sure, Diluc is seen smiling adoringly at you. Even the maids noted how soft the master is around you, particularly today. Whether curled up together in the bed, with him embracing you tightly to his chest and placing a kiss on top of your head. And if you listen carefully, you can hear him quietly humming a tune that his father (or mother) sang to him. Or you two outside in the garden, simply admiring the view with his hand around your waist.

Either way, at the end of the day, he would wake you up or make you go inside for dinner. You haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet so you’re probably hungry by now. If you don’t want to leave your room or want to return to your room, he would understand and make the maids bring the food to you. When the maid(s) finally arrives with the food, you notice the cake on the tray. Looking at him as he chuckles, taking the trays from the maids. Humming a light tune, he scoops a spoonful of cake and holds it to your mouth, with a slight smirk on his face, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Stop staring at me like that, did you really think I would let the day go by for you to not celebrate your birthday properly? From what I know, birthdays have cakes in them, whether a huge cake or a cupcake. Say ‘ahh’~... Happy birthday my love. May next year be more enjoyable than now.”

Kaeya remembers your birthday like the back of his hand, I think he’s even more excited than you really. Eagerly awaiting your birthday as he counts down the days, dropping hints and stuff to you birthday-related, and probably plans a birthday party for you. The knights immediately agreed on it, including a certain bard, traveler, and wine master (albeit more hesitantly). He made sure that this party would be successful, constantly checking on the plans and such. To the point that everyone was practically fed up with his constant questions. But they understand that he wants this to be a successful and enjoyable party for you. It got to the point where Diluc kicked him out of his Tavern after asking for the umpteenth time.

When your day finally arrives, he was practically beaming with joy and excitement. To the point where he can’t hide it behind the cool and suave facade he wears. He quickly made his way to you, going along with the plan of distracting you as they started to prepare for the party. In his total excitement, he didn’t notice the rather gloomy atmosphere around the house. But when he arrived at your door, that is when he noticed how quiet your house is.

Now albeit worried, his excited smile slipping from his face and now replaced with a worried frown, he knocked on your door, calling you in his usual teasing voice. When he didn’t hear your response, the bubble of anxiety appeared in his body. Twisting the knob and finding it unlocked, he quietly and carefully opened the door. Seeing your back immediately, seeing your side rise and fall making him sigh in relief that you were still alive. Closing the door gently but made a noise to alert you of his presence. Taking a seat behind you, he ran his cold fingers on your back, watching you arching at the sudden coldness of his fingers. Smiling slightly, he asked what’s wrong.

Turning around to face him, you buried your face on his chest, inhaling his strong masculine scent. Instinctively wrapping his arms around you, he played with your hair with one of his hands. Tapping on your head slightly, beckoning for you to answer his question. With no way out, you decided to come clean. You explain how you feel like you don’t feel like you deserve to be treated as special on your birthday and all that sort. His face was void of emotion as he stared at the ceiling with his unique pair of blue eyes. Outside he might seem emotionless. But inside, he was on the brink of insanity. Who dares to put such an idea on his s/o’s mind? Why would you think of that? Was this insecurity of yours also his fault?

“That must be the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re not special? Please. Don’t try to make me laugh with that joke ‘cause it’s not funny. You are a jewel, a star, a constellation. As rare as the gems, or rather visions. You can even rival the very sun with your smile. I know those demons in your head keep saying those words to you, the temptation is so tempting, right? Just succumbing to them to make them quiet. But that’s why I’m here, my dearest snowflake. I’m here for you. You’re so special to everyone, most especially to me. You mean the world to me. Anyway, enough of this tear-jerking stuff, we have a party to celebrate. And we can’t celebrate it without the birthday gal/guy now can we?”

Despite your protests, he lifted you effortlessly and carried you outside and into the dawn winery where the party was held. Placing you on the ground and pushing you forward where people from Mondstadt came and greeted you with happy birthdays. Smiling at the sight of you being overwhelmed at the warm greetings, and then chuckling at how bright your face became. Diluc nudges him to you, beckoning him to help you before returning to what he was previously doing (most likely trying to force a bard to not finish all the wines in the vicinity).

After a while in the party, Kaeya brings you to a secluded place with no people for air. Being in a party filled with people could be suffocating at times, especially if you’re not used to it. He intertwined his hands with yours and bends down to meet your eye level (or leans down if you have the same height as him-). He gives you a cheeky smile and proceeds to place a peck on your lips. Chuckling when you pouted and glared at him, wanting more kisses.

“My my, what a greedy vixen~ But it is indeed your birthday so I guess I have no choice but to oblige to whatever my birthday vixen wants me to do. Would you like me to strip as well? Haha. Kidding kidding. Happy birthday, princess/prince. May many more to come. Oh! I forgot. I heard from a certain birdie that you ordered for a personal performance from me~ would you like to get it now?”

Since we all know that Venti practically doesn’t do anything like every day, I would safely say that he would remember your birthday. Probably save some mora to buy you a gift for your birthday, even though it’s not as fancy as the people in Liyue (they all rich kids-), it’s still meaningful. He probably made a bracelet all by himself with the beads he either bought or also made by himself. Nevertheless, he was as excited as Kaeya for your birthday. Already prepared songs to sing for you when that day comes.

Venti immediately searches for you when the day finally arrives, but his excited and bright smile vanishes when he can’t find you in the crowd of people. Raising a brow at your sudden disappearance, he searched for you everywhere, the tavern, the church, the headquarters, everywhere but your house. So when he finally arrives at your house, he was filled with worry and concern. Entering your room through the window like usual, he sees your figure sitting on the floor while reading a book.

He pouted at the sight as he made his presence known by asking you why you were here and reading a book on your birthday. He watches as you jump from where you are and turns to look at him, sighing at the sight of him. He slowly made his way to you and sat next to you, his legs sprawled across the floor. He takes note of the food around you, which was non-birthday festive, it was just ordinary food. Not understanding why you’re sulking in your room, he asked you what’s wrong.

Venti’s eyes widened at your explanation, feeling the sadness leaking at the words you said. They weave themselves around his heart, squeezing it, making him have a hard time breathing. He shares your pain. He was your soulmate after all. He immediately engulfed you in a hug, stuffing his face on the crook of your neck. You were so vulnerable in his eyes. You were so fragile. He desperately wants to protect you from the pain. But looks like he can’t protect you from your own demons.

“Even though I promised myself to not say or do anything that’ll make you sad, I just need to get it off my chest. I’m sorry you had to suffer through that, those demons that a simple bard that weaves stories into songs can’t erase. Alright, no more feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to get out and spend the rest of the day enjoyable, perfect for my precious Cecilia.”

Without any warnings, he picked you up and jumped out of your window. Shrieking at the sudden fast pace, you instinctively wrapped your hands around him as he landed on the ground. Giving you a smug smile while saying “didn’t think i’d let you fall now?” Please slap him. Anyway, he laughed at your aggression and continued to run. Even if you ask where you’re going, he just says it's a secret. So might as well enjoy being in his arms as he continues to run (you swear you can feel the wind adding to his speed but that was just maybe your imagination-).

After a while, he placed you down and you realized where you are. It was Starsnatch Cliff, surrounding you were Cecilia flowers. Venti jumped on you, making you fall to the ground as he giggles. His hat flown back from the force of his sudden attack, he still has that stupid big smile on his face. Since his laughter is contagious, you couldn’t help but laugh alongside him. His eyes glistened with delight at the sight of your smile finally. Grabbing your hand and placing the bracelet he made, he pressed a kiss on your knuckle.

“This bracelet shall be a promise from me to you, a fellow bard to the fairest queen/king. I shall love you for eternity, this heart will only beat for you, and this body belongs to you. If you’re in dire need of assistance, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll be there, forever and always. Happy birthday, my sweet flower.”

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #aether #aether x reader #childe #childe x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #kaeya #kaeya x reader #venti #venti x reader #aether headcanons #childe headcanons #diluc headcanons #kaeya headcanons #venti headcanons

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michelle-is-writing · 3 years

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Family Matters, Greg House

Word count: 1.7k~

In the time I’ve worked at Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital, some might say I'm the bubbly doctor in our group. Although I don’t know how true this might be, I do know everyone can agree I'm definitely more bubbly than doctor Gregory House, but that's for another day to discuss. I'm usually the one people send in to try and cheer up patients. Because of this, I mostly work in the pediatrics ward where young, sick children are. Sometimes, I have an easy time talking to the kids and making them happier, and sometimes, I don't; usually, when I'm upset, I have a hard time.

Right now, I'm having a very difficult time.

A young New Jersey girl at the age of 11 had developed mastoiditis, an infection that affects the mastoid bone above the ear and is typically caused by a middle ear infection. Usually, this all clears up, but sadly, this infection had grown to be so bad that the girl ended up with only twenty-three percent of her hearing left in the one ear. Although this is the case, I'm not having a hard time because of the girl's loss of hearing, no.

I have my own problems at the moment.

Since I'm working in the children's ward, I don't get to see Wilson or Greg as much as I want to. Despite Greg's tendency to be an asshole, he's still my best friend and not to mention that Wilson is the kind of guy anyone can talk to about anything. However, our schedules are all different, so, as I said: we don't get to see each other that often.

At least they're still in my life though. For my family, I can’t say the same. Recently, I've just lost the closest person to me in my family; although it wasn’t through death, but through immaturity and childishness. Because of this, all of my other family members have closed me out as well, causing me to be alone. With all of my friends busy and my family shutting me out, I have no one to talk to or enjoy time with... no one. I can't even get a boyfriend for Christ's sake, and it's not like the guy I have my eyes on actually likes me back. Greg is the type of guy you can easily fall in love with, yet at the same, you really shouldn't.

"Doctor (y/n)," the young girl by the name of Jessie states. Putting all my focus back on her, I remind myself not become distracted anymore today. This isn’t the first time, unfortunately. "Will my hearing ever return?"

I smile sadly at her and shake my head. "I'm sorry, Jessie," I tell her. "Your hearing in that ear won't return, but it's not a bad thing!" I assure her. She smiles in relief. "We can always get you a hearing aid, and that will help get your hearing back to normal again, but the wait might be a little long," I explain. "Is that okay with you?"

She nods her head at my question. "I'm okay with that, doctor (Y/n)," Jessie tells me, "I'll have my family help me until then," she smiles brightly. "You can always look up to your family, right?" She states, confident in her words.

Tears slowly rising to my eyes at the thought, I nod and quickly blink them away. "That's right," I tell her, still smiling. "And don't you ever forget it," looking toward her parents, I nod my head. "The discharge nurse will be here in a few moments with the papers. If you'll excuse me..."

Without another word, I quickly leave the room and walk as fast as I can to the nearest empty room. I prefer going to James’ office instead, but it's two floors away, and I don't want any awkward elevator trips. So, before I have a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway, I find an unlocked janitorial closet before walking in and closing the door behind me, ultimately sliding down the hardwood door once it's shut.

Sitting on the cold, tile floor, I begin sobbing as quiet as I can, my hand covering my mouth. I already had my family drama on my mind all day, but for that girl to unintentionally throw it back in my face? That was the frosting on top of the already leaning, three-layer cake.

Tears stream down my cheeks like raindrops as I cry my heart out. I can tell my cheeks are red by the sensation of heat I currently feel on them; my hands feel it too. I'm crying so hard my chest begins to heave up and down as if I were having a panic attack. Oh God, I can't have a panic attack. Not here, not now.

Behind me, I feel two knocks on the door, causing me to halt. The only problem is: the knock wasn't above me, it was where my back is against the door. Remind you, I'm currently sitting on the floor. The only way someone can knock that low is if there is a midget behind the door there or someone used something like a cane... it's Greg.

Slowly moving up a little, I shakily open the door and let the grey haired man in, watching as he looks at me with pity. I've never seen the confident doctor House look like this with anyone. It's like a... a totally different Greg.

Sitting down beside me against the door, Greg drops his cane beside him as he sighs and wraps his arm around me before gently tugging my body close to his. Shocked, I tense up, tears no longer pouring out of my eyes. Greg never comforts anyone like this. He always makes fun of them or says something that many people take offense to, but he never... he never cares. He always brushes it off his shoulder, yet for some reason, he seems like he actually cares this time.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his voice deep as usual with no emotion.

I wait a few seconds before lying. "Nothing important," I tell him, my voice wavering from my scattered emotions.

Pulling me back to face him, Greg looks me in the eye before sighing again. "I know you've been crying by the wet tears on your cheeks, slight puffiness, and redness to your eyes, and fast-paced breathing - and I don’t even have to be a doctor to notice that," he breaks down my current state, lifting an eyebrow. "Now, are you going to begrudgingly tell me what's wrong or do I need to stay in here with you until you finally give in to all my unrelenting sexiness."

His comment makes me laugh, causing a grimace of a smile to fall on House's lips. Out of all of us, I've been the only one to do that. I've been the only one to break Greg's stone exterior and interior. Plus, It doesn't help that I like Greg romantically. I like the fact that he's confident and witty; he's not afraid to be himself. Although, he can still be quite an ass to others, but to me, he’s always been nothing but kind. Even when I first started working here, he was still patient and sweet - a rare sight to everyone else. It used to hurt me to think he’ll never feel the same way as me, but I’ve gotten so used to that fact that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

"It's just... my family," I explain, Greg pushing my head back onto his shoulder as he holds me. At this point, I'm not shocked by anything he does. The infamous doctor could be high for all I know. He probably took a few Vicodin tablets before coming down here now that I think of it.

"They've completely... shut me out," I explain, shrugging as I rest my hand on his shoulder. "They never talk to me anymore, they've blocked me in any way of even trying to talk to them. My cousin just sent me an email last night telling me that I didn't need to contact them anymore as they no longer wanted me in their lives," I close my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Plus, I wish I could work with you guys again," I take a breath before saying the next thing. "I miss you."

A few seconds of silence pass before Greg leans down to my face level. Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by his own sapphire orbs, watching as he continually inches forward until his lips plant themselves on mine. Our eyes close at the same time in response to the touch of our lips, and they stay that way too. With my heart beating fast and a different fire in my cheeks, I instantly respond to his kiss while placing my hands on the sides of his face, feeling his hands attach themselves to my hips as I do so. We kiss until we have to breathe, both of us pulling apart simultaneously.

"They don't deserve you," Greg tells me, a little out of breath. "You are wonderful; a decent and kind human being, inside and out," he takes a small pause, flashing his blue eyes down to mine. "I never thought I’d say this, but… because of you, I think maybe not everyone is a horrible person and that maybe I can be a bit nicer a time or two," he then smiles at me, kissing me once more. "You have made me feel love believe it or not."

Smiling, I lean up to kiss his forehead before sitting back down and resting my head against his chest, my eyes cast upon him as he looks down at me. "You've also made me feel love," I confess to him, my voice shy. "I've grown to love you as well. You and your sarcastic comments and witty comebacks and your insults to apparent stupid people," for once, he laughs, making me grin. "I can't help but love it all."

After a few moments, Greg speaks up. "I know I can't be your entire family," he murmurs, holding me close. "But I can try to be your... your..." He draws on, clearly trying to come up with an appointed title for himself. After a few seconds, I giggle and cut him off.

"Boyfriend?" I ask, making him roll his eyes.

"I was going to say significant other," he argues, looking over to me. "The term boyfriend is so, well, childish," he complains, making me giggle.

Leaning closer, I peck his lips. "Good thing you have a childish mind," I tease him, pressing my lips to his one more time before he responds to my comment with something horrible or completely inappropriate. It is Doctor House we’re talking about, after all.

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