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#the support from anyone else anymore to make me feel safe

familyvideostevie · 21 days

Text

time you will not spend alone

joel miller x fem!reader, 18+ mdni romance at the end of the world is this: flowers, lazy nights in bed after long days, and savoring every moment | or, joel makes you something. jackson!joel au, fem!reader, fluff, maybe a bit cheesy but idgaf, ellie cameo cause i can't do a damn thing without her, tommy gets some page time here too, smut (riding, unprotected p in v sex, some finger sucking lol), tenderness, gift giving | 5.7k a/n: i think this is the last part of the just and just as series for the foreseeable future. thank you for reading about this little au and these two lovebirds! i adore them. thank you @frannyzooey and @macfrog for your eyes and support on this. and thank you everyone else for being patient. <3

Spring sweeps into the valley seemingly overnight. The peaks remain snow-capped but the bare branches of trees between the evergreens begin to bud. Chilly mornings lose their bite and frost turns to dew and every day there is more light.

You've always thought Jackson looks its best in winter, but it's a damn sight to see as life and color return. And the latter is your favorite part -- the rolling hills outside the walls and the forest patrol paths are dotted and then overflowing with flowers.

It makes you feel more alive. Patrol isn't a freezing ordeal anymore -- it's an opportunity to see the remaining beauty in the world.

Today's shift is short and easy but you find yourself lingering, running your hands through pine needles and turning your face to the sun. Your horse is happy to munch on a patch of grass in a clearing just off the main trail, but your patrol partner is less than impressed.

"Are you serious?" Ellie moans. "You're stopping again? What the fuuuuuuuuck."

She sags in the saddle. The pout on her lips makes her look like a kid sent to bed without supper rather than an almost-twenty-year-old forced to spend some extra minutes in the fresh air. Shimmer has no problem chewing on some weeds despite her rider's moaning.

"Let me enjoy the sun," you say. "When you get older you'll appreciate the little things, too."

You hop off your horse and Ellie sighs loudly.

"Jesus, you're not that old," she mutters. "Seriously, what are you doing?"

You sweep your arms around you, gesturing at the meadow. "These flowers are nice," you tell her, pointedly. She adjusts the rifle slung over her shoulder. "I think I'm going to pick some and bring them home."

She snorts. "Oh, is Joel suddenly into flowers?"

You ignore her bait and crouch, gaze sweeping over the array of colors in front of you. You tried to learn the names of flowers years ago when you found a book on them in an old bookstore but they never stuck. Purples, pinks, and yellows, large petals and small ones, delicate yet hardy to survive the world past its end.

Joel isn't a fussy man. Young fathers don't get to be, and anyone alive these days sheds that impulse just as quickly. He's happy to wake up every day with you by his side, his kid in the garage out back and walls around everything he loves, keeping it all safe.

It makes it both easy and hard to please him -- you want to give him everything but he seems to want nothing. A perfect paradox, a puzzle to solve.

God, you love him. You love spring, you love Joel. Everything feels good.

So, you start to gather stems, snapping them at their bases, humming as you work.

"How do you choose which ones to pick?"

"Fuck," you gasp, careening forward onto one palm and looking over your shoulder. Ellie is off her horse and much closer than before, standing directly behind you. "Jesus, you're stealthy."

She shrugs, her smirk a pleased slash across her face. "You're oblivious as fuck."

You roll your eyes at her.

"Seriously," Ellie says, crossing her arms. She jerks her chin at the small bouquet you've got in one hand. "How do you make it look so nice?"

"Oh, so we've moved on from the making-fun-of-me part of this?"

She crouches next to you, elbows on her knees.

"I, uh -- " Her cheeks go pink, freckles standing out against her blush. "Dina likes flowers."

You bump her shoulder with yours. "I'm going to be so nice and not tease you."

"Fuck off," she scoffs, tucking her smile into her shoulder.

It's quick work. Ellie follows your lead, balances out the blooms she picks with some leafy weeds. She ties them together with one of the minimum four spare hairbands she has on her person at all times -- bits of cloth, occasionally a rare unused elastic from before if she's found some on patrol.

"Isn't it kinda shitty?" she muses, nimble fingers turning her bouquet this way and that to admire it. "We're killing them. The flowers, I mean."

"Little late to have a conscience about killing," you say lightly. The two rabbits she pulled from Jackson snares hang from her saddle. You've seen her in action, too -- gun raised, hands steady, blood splattered across her cheek. It's not an accusation, far from it. Violence is a language you both speak, one she's known for most of her still-short life.

She rolls her eyes, every bit a teenager. "Whatever."

You sigh. "You're right, though," you say. "There were whole shops dedicated to this before. Selling flowers, making bouquets and centerpieces and all that shit."

She probably knows this, but she lets you describe it. Ellie soaks up bits of the old world like it will materialize before her if she listens hard enough. Joel says it was much worse when she was younger, right after they settled into Jackson. She wanted details about everything and watched every movie she could get her hands on. You think she was satisfying her curiosity, sure, but also that she was trying to understand him better -- but didn't know how to say so.

"Weird," she mutters. "And you just...bought them for other people?"

"Or yourself." You pat her shoulder and stand. Your horse tries to nibble on your flowers before you haul yourself back in the saddle. "It was just a nice thing to do, I guess."

"Killing something to make someone else happy," Ellie says with a dry laugh. She tucks her bouquet in the crook of her arm once she's back in the saddle. "I guess everyone does that these days."

It's absurd when she puts it that way, but it's true. You've all got blood on your hands. You would kill for this girl, for Joel, for pretty much anyone in Jackson. And you have.

The flowers are for Joel, they're for your house, they're for you. Something beautiful to bring home alongside your dirt stains and scarred hands, your haunted eyes and nightmares. No one is spared those.

It's only mid-morning by the time you get back to the wall. You and Ellie left at dawn, short sticks drawn for the early shift. She leaves you in the stables with a mock salute and a shout of thanks, practically jogging to Dina's to give her the flowers.

You're untacking your horse when you hear familiar laughter, a deep chuckle and Ellie's faint indignant protest.

"Mornin'," Joel says from behind you. "Was hopin' to catch you at the gate."

"Can you hold these?"

You blindly extend the hand with the flowers. His fingers carefully extract the bouquet and you return to brushing out your horse.

"Does this have somethin' to do with Ellie runnin' out of her with flowers of her own?"

"Never let anyone say you're unobservant, Joel Miller."

He snickers. You leave your horse with a final pat on the neck and thanks for a job well done.

When you face Joel, he looks tired -- he's been pulling extra long days replacing windows and roof tiles after the winter's damage. God knows that man never seems fully rested, but it's a little worse when the seasons change.

He's told you time and time again that standing two stories off the ground is a hell of a lot safer than fighting some Infected on patrol, but you still worry. Just like you know he worries about you beyond the walls, how he's a little tenser whenever you're not in sight, whenever he hasn't seen Ellie for a few days ‘cause they're both busy. It's just how he loves. It's how you both love.

You make no move to take the flowers from him, instead brushing some sawdust from his shoulder.

"Did you have a job already?" you ask.

"Small one. Fixin' a crooked over mailbox." He looks pointedly at his full fist. "You gonna explain now?"

"They're for you."

Joel blinks once, twice, brows furrowing like you're speaking a different language. Maybe a few years ago you'd start to feel self-conscious, unsure of your romantic gesture and insecure in his reaction. But now, as fully in love and connected to this man as you are, you lean in.

"If you're too manly to carry flowers through town --"

You make to take them from him but he snaps out of his daze and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest in a smooth motion.

He also holds the bouquet in the air and out of reach.

"Hey, now," he says. "Hands off. These ain't your flowers."

"I picked 'em," you remind him, poking him in the ribs for good measure.

He flinches just a little but doesn't move. His embrace is warm and familiar and you sink into it. "Gettin' romantic," he mutters and brings the flowers back down to eye level to examine them.

"I'm just trying to catch up to you," you say into his jacket. He huffs and his palm rubs a slow line up and down your arm.

You wiggle out of his embrace to shoulder your pack.

"I am pretty romantic," he muses.

It's true. Even if he's joking and even if no one but you gets to see it, Joel has always made sure you feel loved. Courtship and romance look different these days, but it still comes naturally to him -- loving. Dinner dates, jewelry, and trips to the airport have become a battered paperback, a sharpened knife, and bloody knuckles, but it rings just as true. He loves you and he loves his family the best way he knows how – by keeping you all safe.

And you do your best to convey the same thing. You tell him, of course, but you also mend his shirts and chop wood when his back is acting up, and you look after his kid like she's your own.

Joel deserves to know that he can receive all that he gives, too – the protection, the tenderness, the beauty. Moments of softness and rest where he knows he’s taken care of, thought of, that he matters beyond the things he can do for everyone else.

So, you also do things like bring him flowers.

Sometimes you feel like it will never be enough. You will never have enough time to show him how much he means to you, how he's saved you, how important and cherished and loved he is. How good he is.

Joel reaches for your face with his free hand. He traces the line of your cheekbone with his thumb and smirks when you inhale sharply. Another patrol returns and the stables are suddenly louder and more crowded than before. If you're both free for the rest of the day, you want to drag him up to your bedroom and spend the hours there. You want to show him, for the millionth time, how much you love him.

"Okay, Mr. Pretty Romantic," you say, grabbing his hand and tangling your fingers together. "Let's go home."

___

Joel is hiding something from you.

The flowers last for a week and you watch him eye them and smile every time he enters the kitchen.

But after they droop and go in the compost pile, something shifts. Something subtle, sure, but you spend most of your waking hours looking for or at Joel, so you notice.

He starts keeping his workshop door closed. Normally you'll sit and watch him work, or he'll teach you a few chords here and there on the guitars he's making, but your lessons move to the porch and the upstairs hallway loses the scent of wood glue and stain.

In fact, he actively steers you away from the room altogether. He's all just needs a deep clean and it's messy, is all. It's not rocket science -- he's making something for you, clearly. But giving him a hard time is too fun to pass up.

One night, you and Ellie wait at the bottom of the stairs. There's a dinner and movie night in the old church and you're taking the opportunity to make it a family outing.

"You coming?" you holler up the stairs. You hear the door creak open.

"Gimme a second," he calls back down.

"Jesus," you mutter. You tap the side of Ellie’s sneaker with your boot. "You know anything about that?"

Honesty is important between all of you, but you know Joel and Ellie need to have their secrets. There is too much tangled history between them for you to understand it all. It's important to you that they have a relationship all their own, even if it means they scheme.

Ellie is examining her switchblade with intense focus. "I might," she says with a smirk. "He's a lovesick loser, I'll tell you that."

You lean on the banister and raise your eyebrows. "Do you remember when you asked me how to embroider so you could put Dina's name on her jacket?"

The knife swings closed with a snick and she rolls her eyes at you, cheeks pink.

"Shit, dude," she says. "Why do I tell you anything?"

"She liked the flowers, though, didn't she?"

Ellie crosses her arms and smiles at whatever memory she's seeing in her mind. "Yeah," she says. "She did. Jesse gave me so much shit, though --"

The door upstairs closes and Joel's heavy footfalls cut her off.

"Finally," you grumble. He trods down the stairs, arms half in his jacket when he catches sight of the two of you. "Are you hiding state secrets in there?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Ellie asks.

"Might be," is all he says. He's got that twinkle in his eye that means mischief but he looks proud of himself. You can let him have this, whatever this is. You trust him and you'll find out eventually.

"Alright," you say, pushing off the banister and heading for the door. "You're going to breathe toxic fumes with the door closed."

"No, seriously," Ellie says. "What kind of secrets would a state be keeping?"

"Ain't nothin' toxic in there," he says lightly. He bumps Ellie's shoulder with his. "C'mon."

She throws her hands up in the air. "You know, it's shitty when you ignore me."

"Did you hear somethin'?" Joel says to you.

You shake your head, swallowing your laughter. "No," you say. "Nothing."

"Assholes." She pushes past you and down the steps onto the street. "I'm going to make sure there are no mashed potatoes left when you get there."

You don't mind letting Joel do whatever he's up to in all of his spare moments. It does mean you have more time to yourself, so you pick up some extra wall shifts.

And when one of those shifts is with Tommy? Well, you can't help but needle him a little bit about it all.

"Do you know what your brother is up to?" you ask him.

The wind today carries some lingering winter bite, so you've got the collar of your coat pulled up around your ears. Tommy’s hair whips around his face when he raises his eyebrows at you.

"Gonna have to be more specific," he says. "My brother is always up to some shit."

"I think he'd say the same thing about you."

Tommy laughs. He's got the reputation for being the more easy-going of the Millers, but you know he's more a match for Joel than most think. Out in the world, they work as one, silent and deadly, always in step when it counts. They still speak a language all their own with just a look and you see so much of them in each other when you pay attention.

"Well, I learned it all from him," he says. He adjusts his grip on the rifle and sighs. "I happen to know what you're talkin' 'bout, though."

"Is he just telling everyone but me?"

"Nah," Tommy scoffs. "Asked me and Ellie for help, s'all. And you know he tells that girl everythin'."

You both smile for a moment at your fondness for them.

Tommy clears his throat. "Does it bother you? Him keepin' a secret?"

You know Tommy won't let your answer get back to Joel. He's asking as your friend, as your kind-of brother. He's asking because he cares.

A patrol crests the hill, green flag waving in the air. They whistle and shout for the gate to be opened.

You step closer to Tommy so he can hear you. "No," you say. "I just like to gossip."

"Don't I know it," he chuckles. "You two are the eyes and ears of this damn town. Knowin' everything."

"Except what happens in my own home," you tease.

He shrugs. "You'll like it, if that helps," he adds.

"I know I will."

You look out at the world beyond the wall and smile to yourself.

Joel has made you a few things over the years. He works wonders with his hands all the time: Beautiful, intricate carvings for the house, for Ellie, for new babies in town. The wall of guitars, not to mention the ones he's made for kids to learn on in school. You're better at sewing than he is, but he's pretty damn good – fixing up pillowcases and blankets and clothes of all kinds. Joel is a craftsman.

Hands that hold you can also pull a trigger, punch until there's nothing left, and craft a work of art.

And he knows you. He pays attention -- there is a reason behind everything he does. If he's making you something, you know you'll love it.

"Strange, ain’t it?" Tommy says. You turn to him, a question on your face. "World ended and here we all are, happy. Makin' shit for each other. Gosspin'."

You sigh. “Took a lot to get here.”

“Damn right,” he says with a long whistle. “Lotta shit behind us.”

“Do you ever regret it?” you ask.

Tommy considers your words. You two talk plenty, but you’ve never really spoken about the past. Joel tells you whatever you want to hear about the years before you knew him, so you’ve got a pretty good picture of their lives after the outbreak.

"Can I tell you somethin’?” Tommy asks. You nod. "Alright. I – I never thought I'd see my brother this happy again. And I wish every damn day that Sarah was here to see it. To know him this way, to meet Maria. To know you and Ellie."

Joel has said the same thing before and it’s an honor greater than you can ever explain.

"When I saw him and that girl a few years ago, I thought --" Tommy clears his throat. "I thought maybe he’d made it through all the shit we did. And I was right. She brought him through it. And now he’s here, doin’ stable life shit we dreamed about before."

"Ellie is a force," you say, a little surprised to find your voice watery. The love between Ellie and Joel is fierce and powerful, evident to anyone who witnesses it. They would do anything for each other, even though they're mending.

"She is," he says. "And so are you.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Shit, I don’t know where I’m goin’ with this. Point is – seein' him love you, too, shows me he’s through it. He's alive again, you know? And I’d do all the shit we did over again just to get us all here. So, no. I don’t regret it."

It’s nothing you haven’t thought before, but the words work their way into your heart and sit there, heavy and warm.

“Damn,” you say. You swallow and give him a wide smile. "If you keep going, Tommy Miller, I will start crying and that would embarrass us both."

He laughs and blinks a few times. You join in, wiping your eyes.

"Alright, I won't," he says. "Jesus, all you did was ask what he's doin' in that workshop."

You clap him on the shoulder. "I won't tell anyone you started blubbering on duty."

He snorts. "Ain't that generous of you.”

Days pass. A week. You almost forget about Joel's project because he spends less and less time in the workshop and more on tasks around town as the days get longer. You're both busy -- chopping wood, planting bulbs for the fall, helping de-shed the horses. There's always work to be done.

After a particularly long day on your feet, you come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel to find he's gotten home while you were in the shower.

"Hey, stranger," you say. You're mostly dry but some water drips down your back and you shiver. Joel is leaning against the headboard on top of the sheets without his shirt, reading whatever book he's onto now.

"Didn't hear me come in?" he asks. He sets his volume aside and pulls off his glasses.

"I was too busy coming back to life under some hot water." He probably heard you singing off-key to some long-lost song stuck in your head for the millionth time. "And you're quiet as hell, Joel."

He shrugs.

You just look at each other, the intimate gaze of two people who know every inch of each other and never tire of it.

The sleep pants he wears to bed this time of year are lightweight, thin enough that you can see the outline of him from here. His stomach is soft where he's bent at the waist and the trail of hair above his waistband is dark, darker than the rest of what's on his chest.

The golden expanse of his skin just begs to be touched, so you make your way over to him in your towel. He makes room for you to perch on the edge of the bed, the bare skin of your thigh pressing into his pants. His palm rests on your knee.

"I haven't seen much of you lately," you say softly. "’Cause of that damn thing you're working on."

His fingers press into your skin.

"Ain't patience a virtue, or something like that?"

"Whatever magic you're working better be worth waiting for," you tease.

Joel's hand resumes its path up your leg and he smirks.

"I can work some magic right now," he says.

You laugh, throwing your head back as his fingertips edge under the towel.

"That was awful," you say. "I should get dressed in all of my layers right now and go sleep on the couch."

You pull away from his touch so you can straddle him, your towel only held on by one hand at your breasts.

Joel snickers. "But then I wouldn't be able to do this."

Nimble fingers find your cunt between your spread legs and you gasp a laugh, one hand on his shoulder to balance you in his lap.

"Smooth," you manage. His other hand tugs on the towel and you release it, your slightly damp skin breaking out into goosebumps in the air of the bedroom.

Joel drags his lips between your breasts and you feel his smile.

"Christ," he says. "You comin' outta there in just a towel and you expect me to go to sleep?"

He pulls his fingers from you and frames your face with both hands to drag it down to his in a lazy, thorough kiss, like he's savoring each moment.

His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you let him in readily, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you grind down on the hardness you can feel through his pants.

"I've missed you," you say, dragging your tongue along down his jaw. His fingertips press into your bare hips hard enough to bruise, but it's a grounding touch rather than an urgent one. You want to take your time because you have missed him, and you think he feels the same way.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Joel groans, dragging your lips back to his. "It'll be worth it."

You pull back to look him in the eyes. The hazel-grey is almost totally taken over by his pupil, but his gaze softens when you cup his cheek and smile.

"I know," you say, and mean it. Naked in his lap in your bedroom, you mean it. You always mean it. You always trust him.

Joel kisses you once, twice, and you pull on his lower lip with your teeth when he pulls away. His nostrils flare and before you can tug his cock from his pants, he holds two fingers out to you.

You laugh, circling his wrist and bringing the digits past your lips. You swirl your tongue around them and really take your time with it, laving at his knuckles before releasing them with a pop.

His cock twitches beneath you and he huffs.

"You're an easy man to please, Joel Miller," you tell him, tugging down his pants and letting his shaft spring free. You stroke him root to tip and he hisses.

"Nah," he manages. "It's ‘cause it's you."

He follows his words with a circle of your clit from his spit-slick fingers.

"See?" you gasp. "Romantic."

It's a bit crowded, his hand rubbing your clit and yours slowly jerking him, but neither of you rush it. You pant together, dotting lazy kisses on any piece of bare skin you can reach. You breathe him in, the combination of sweat and gun oil and fresh detergent that's just Joel. A rush of tenderness hits you so suddenly your nose stings.

"Joel," you say, a bit ragged. "Joel, can you --"

A gentle hand on your face brings your foreheads together, his eyes on yours.

"Whatever you want," he groans. "Whatever you want, it's yours."

You can't help it -- you laugh. Brightly and happily, almost in disbelief that this man is yours. Real and solid under you right now, beside you every night. Yours to love and cherish and all the rest.

"You laughin' at me?" he grumbles, though you can tell he's fighting a smile.

"I just love you, is all," you say. You probably don't say it enough. You and Joel show each other every day, so much so that you can't imagine he doesn't know. As it is, you feel loved by him with every move he makes, every time he looks in your direction, every time he says your name.

"And I want you to fuck me," you add.

It's Joel's turn to laugh.

"Now who's the romantic one?" he says.

You rise from his lap and settle onto your back on the other side of the bed, stretching with your hands above your head.

His eyes follow the line of your bare body, fondness and hunger recognizable in his gaze.

"Always so damn pretty," he grumbles. "Prettiest thing I've ever seen."

"Flirt," you tease.

He rises to his knees and pumps his cock a few times with his fist. You spread your legs for him, knees bent up against your chest.

He settles between your knees and you lock them around his hips. Joel honest-to-god winks at you before dragging two fingers through your folds to make sure you're slick enough.

"Ready?"

You nod. He enters you in one practiced move and you groan in unison as you adjust. It takes some shuffling but he finds a position he can hold, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

Joel fucks you slow and deep. Each drag of his cock against your walls curls your toes and drags whines from both of your throats. He keeps up his usual babel -- doin' so good, feel like a dream, so damn tight, cunt's a fuckin' miracle -- and you press your hands into his bare back like he's a life raft.

Sweat beats on your brow, your chest, everywhere, and you suck bruises into his neck as his thrusts get a little frantic. Your own orgasm sneaks up on you, the pressure building and building and building until it snaps without warning.

"Joel -- Joel, fuck, I --"

You clench around him and he chants your name, that's it, baby, come on my cock, and buries himself to the hilt to finish inside you.

He hovers above you on trembling arms long enough to press a sweet kiss to your lips before rolling off of you.

"Now I'm ready for bed," you say, panting.

You fling a hand out lazily and it lands on his chest. He intertwines your fingers and his gaze finds yours. You smile as you get your breathing under control.

Joel smooths your brow with a thumb. "Don't forget to --"

"I know, I know," you say. "C'mon, you know this isn't my first rodeo." You get up from the bed and head to the bathroom.

"You sayin' I'm a bull?" Joel calls after you.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy!" you holler back, cleaning yourself up. "Didn't people used to say that?"

Joel doesn't answer you but you laugh at your own joke. You make your way back to the bed in old pyjamas and find him back in his sweatpants, feet flat on the floor like he's about to get up and go somewhere.

"Joel?"

He sighs, his shoulders moving up and down like he's bracing himself.

"It's done," he says. "Your surprise."

The confession stops you in your tracks.

"Oh?"

You know Joel better than mosty, but sometimes he's still a puzzle. The hesitation, the slight air of anxiety about him as he says it confuses you. Because Joel is good at taking care of people, and he has to know it -- those years he and Ellie didn't speak you know he left her things, know that he took care of her from afar as much as she would let him. It's just what he does, he uses his hands to beat and shoot and bloody – but also to carve and hold and love.

They're the same thing, really.

And he's made you something – one of countless gifts he's given you, tangible and not, throughout your relationship.

But he's nervous. As if you wouldn't love anything he made, anything he does. As if you're not gone over every part of him.

"Hm," he says. "Yeah. Let me --"

Joel gets up from the bed and pads over to the dresser to rummage around in a drawer. You meet him back on the bed and he's holding a square-ish parcel wrapped in cloth.

You gingerly take it from him.

"This is what you've been working on?" you ask softly. He nods.

You unwrap the cloth and find yourself holding leather-bound journal. The hide is smooth under your fingertips, scraped clean by hand and tanned a dark chestnut.The spine is about an inch wide, the whole thing swen together with neat stitches of what can only be catgut. A thinner strip of leather is wrapped around the cover and tucked into itself carefully. It must have taken him ages to make.

"Joel," you gasp. "It's...god, it's beautiful."

He tells you how he found it on patrol a few weeks ago. The cover was fucked but the paper was somehow fine, so he dried out the pages and rebound it with a hide he tanned himself. You run your hands over it again almost like you can feel his fingerprints all over it, the hours he poured into the pages.

The inside cover falls open easily when you undo the tie and you see letters in the bottom left corner of it. Your eyes sting.

Joel has carefully burned your name into the leather, each letter perfectly lined up with the next. You haven't had something with your name on it in years.

He clears his throat. "Ellie said she'd give you some of her pens. Show you how to refill 'em."

You look up from your gift and find so much love on his face you can hardly stand it. He was inside you not that long ago and somehow this is more intimate. You surge forward into his space and wrap an arm around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck.

"I don't know what to say," you confess. "Just -- thank you."

He runs his hand along your spine.

"S'nothin'," he says. "Just saw it and thought of you, is all."

You release him and shake your head in disbelief. This man.

"What should I write in it?"

Joel's cheeks darken a little. Of course he's thought of everything.

"Figured you could write about...all this." He waves a hand in the air like that explains anything.

"All what?"

He shrugs one bare shoulder.

"Life," he says. "Jackson. Folks here. Might be nice, havin' the memories."

You scoot closer to him so you're almost in his lap again.

"You want me to write down the gossip?" You mean it as a joke but Joel nods.

"You pay attention," he explains. "Someone's gotta."

You're not much of a writer anymore, haven't had cause to be in twenty years. But you do like to tell stories. You both do.

The pages are soft under your fingertips as you flip through them again. You're going to fill them with stories -- about this town, about Joel and Ellie and Tommy and the people you love. The people you've lost, too. The memories that hurt like bruises, like fresh wounds. But the good stuff, too. The gossip, the love stories, the plants in the yard and the flowers on the trails.

Joel has given you the ability to record your lives.

You reach over him to set the journal on the nightstand before you frame his face with both of your hands.

"I'm going to write pages and pages about you, Joel Miller," you whisper.

He huffs, cheeks warm under your palms. "That's borin'."

You shake your head and lean in until your lips brush and your eyes flutter shut.

"That's the story," you say. "That's my life. This is my life. You are."

“I love you,” he breathes. “So damn much. Y’know that?”

How could you not? You say so and kiss him firmly but without hurry. You’ve got lots of time. You’ve got forever.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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me-loving-woso · 5 months

Text

Beach days, new teammates and love confessions

After literally months I am back. This is part 2 of Bruises Apologises and Cookies? It’s 15 k and probably I’ll make also a part 3 cause I am now invested in the story. Let me know if I should go on.

The season ending was a very bittersweet moment for you. From one point of view, you really didn't want to leave your club when they had given you so much.

The fans loved you, your teammates had become family, and the stadium was a second home for you. But you knew that you had to move for your career to flourish and make you reach your full potential.

The last game you played was the final of the Coppa Italia against Juventus. Your captain gave you the armband to lead your team one last time, and you were trying to hold off the emotions welling up. You almost felt like you were betraying the team in a sense. Still, you knew it was only an impression, as everyone was spurring you to go to Barcelona. They only wanted what was best for you.

You won 1-0 in that game, with your goal making the difference. Your teammates made you lift the cup and shed one or two tears. You gave a small farewell speech, and then, for the last time, you rounded your little stadium, where you'd play all of your matches with the team, and said goodbye to your teammates and the fans.

Your mind went on autopilot after that. You pushed away all of your sad feelings in the locker room and in the car to go back home. At home, there you broke down. It was really over. The team, the club that had given you so much, was not your team anymore. And a new adventure was about to start.

The following day, you fled to Eindhoven with some of your friends from the National Team to see the Champions League final. You had promised Mapi that you would be there and also because you were there to meet the coach of Barcelona to finalize the contract with the club.

As soon as you land in Eindhoven, you text Alexia, telling her you have just landed. Your relationship with her had been highly confusing since she welcomed you into her home after the defeat against your team. Something between the two of you had shifted.

She took care of you and made you feel safe in her arms. It had been a long time since you felt like being with her was just casual, on your part at least. Maybe she was just being polite and not actually caring more than necessary. Yet, you would text or call almost daily to talk about your days or just football. She was the first person you told about your move to Barça and she couldn't have been more supportive.

As you texted her at the airport, she told you that you wouldn't see each other before the game because she was stuck in media duties. Still, she informed your friend and soon-to-be teammate that you had landed, so at least you would get to see Mapi.

As soon as you left your suitcase in the hotel, you got to the bar where you told her you would meet her.

"Soo, what are you doing in the summer?" You ask her while you are both eating some way too unhealthy burgers.

"Ingrid and I thought about going to Ibiza for a week; why?"

"Would you like to come to Italy for a few days?" You offer her, every year, you booked this tiny house for the whole summer in Praiano, near an abandoned beach. You thought it was a total steal for how much you had paid for it. You usually would go there with friends or family for a few weeks. It was really your favorite place to be.

"I would love to come, but I don't want you to third-wheel us." You chuckle.

"What makes you say I'm not inviting anyone else?" You smirked suggestively, making her understand what you were insinuating.

"So you finally made it official?" You had asked Alexia to join you for the holidays the last time you saw her when she told you that she had never actually been to Italy if not for a match, you said it was unacceptable, so you offered yourself as a tour guide.

A week or so later, you realize that spending more than a day together would be a bad idea for fear of spilling out your deep, confused, and embarrassing feelings for her. So you decided to invite Mapi along.

"Again. We. Are. Not. Dating." You repeat to her for the millionth time, frankly also trying to convince yourself.

"So you are not going on holiday with her."

"Yes, I am. As friends." You explain, trying to find the right words.

"Only friends?"

"Well, with also some other benefits." Her face turns into a disgusted look. "What?"

"You are talking about my captain, it's weird." Frankly, she will be your skipper too, which meant that you were banging your boss? That was a thought for the future you.

"I really hope you would like to join us if you have nothing better to do." You really hoped she would say yes because you had planned to tell her you were joining Barcelona there.

"I'll talk to Ingrid about it, but you know I can't say no to Italy."

As you return to the hotel, you have a drink with your friends, and then you excuse yourself to go to bed when you hear your phone buzz.

Your Favourite Kickboxer ;)

'You up?'

'Yes, Why are you not asleep? It's late, and tomorrow you have a big game.' You reply.

'Just the nerves are getting to me. Last year with Lyon, we got demolished; I don't want it to happen again. It was difficult to keep the team united after such a loss, and I don't want to disappoint the fans.'

'Can I call you?' She sends another text.

You quickly start a video call, and she immediately picks up.

"Hey, cariño."

"Hey, Ale." You both smile dumbly at each other for a couple of seconds, but then you get interrupted by one of her yawns.

"You need some sleep, piccola, or you will be tired tomorrow. And as for the Lyon thing, you cannot predict the score tomorrow; you just can control how you play and try your best to motivate your team to be the best version of themselves. Lead them to glory, and give it your all. You won't have any regrets if you give everything on the pitch." You try to make her feel better, even though you know she will be stuck in her head all night.

"I'll try my best."

"And the least you could do, after ditching me tonight, is to score a goal for me tomorrow. It's the least." You tease her, making her smile.

"Asking for a goal in a Champions final? You know you are a very hard girl to satisfy, right?" She chuckles, making you feel relieved that you were able to make her feel a little better.

"You would be the expert on that, right?" You smirk suggestively, making her raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, I definitely am." She replies confidently.

"Go to sleep, piccola mia; tomorrow is a big day for you."

"Goodnight, cariño."

"Buonanotte, Ale."

The morning after you woke up, you quickly texted Alexia for good luck.

As soon as you got to the stadium, the tension was palpable, especially when in the first half Barcelona was down 2-0. You were getting extremely nervous and anxious. Your teammates, who were watching the game with you, noticed that. You were biting your nails to the skin. You didn't want them to lose, but if a team could turn around a 2-0, it was going to Barça, or at least you hoped so.

As soon as you saw the players come on the pitch for the second half, they all held an expression you couldn't understand. A mix of determination and hunger, especially Alexia.

The second half started, and not two minutes after, your woman bagged the first goal of the remontada. She ran to her fans, looking at you, making your initial with her hands, making all of your organs flip, fully blushing at the gesture. You really thought that she didn't take seriously what you said the day before.

As soon as she made that gesture, your now ex-teammates, watching the game with you, noticed what had happened and put the dots together.

"It's her, isn't she?" Linari asks you, wearing a shocked expression.

"What?"

"The girl from Barça that you are seeing. It's Alexia Putellas?" You chuckle, turning around to see the game, making her understand she was right. You weren't denying it anymore.

Not even two minutes later, Alexia scores a header, making the score a draw. She ran up to the side of the field, making your initials again and then celebrating with a little bow.

Barcelona was finally on track, and you could see that the intensity was getting much higher than it was before. Alexia played some of her best football in that second half. The game found an advantage with Rölfo when she scored the match's final goal and game-winner.

You saw her lift the trophy, making your heart grow a thousand times bigger on how much you were proud of her.

Then Mapi came to you, and you hugged her, congratulating her. You mingled in the stadium for a little while and finally left to the parking lot. You wanted to see Alexia but knew she needed to focus on celebrating and her teammates. You could text her later when she had the time to reply.

Your Favourite Kickboxer ;)

'Meet me in the hallway at the stadium?'

You quickly excuse yourself from your friends and sneak inside the stadium again. As you were walking down the hallways to find her, you felt two hands sneak up on you, making you turn around.

She quickly picked you up from the air, giving you a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Ale!" You say, nearly tearing up.

She puts you down, turns her head to look at her surroundings, and then kisses you quickly, catching you completely off guard. "I have to return to Barcelona now, but I couldn't leave without seeing you." She says excitedly, you had never seen her this happy.

"You did it! You scored two goals. You are champions once again! I'm so fucking proud of you, Ale!"

"Did you see! I did your initials. Two goals for you, cariño! I probably wouldn't have won the trophy if it wasn't for you." She places her hands on your cheeks, smiling.

"I didn't do anything. It's all on you. I just gave you a little reassurance."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. I have to go now! I have a trophy to bring back to Barcelona. I'll see you in two weeks, cariño." She gives you a quick peck on the lips and then leaves for the dressing room.

The next day, your Instagram was swarmed by pictures of her celebration and a video of the team that was clearly hungover Alexia included, which made you chuckle.

That day, you were leaving for Praiano with some of your closest friends from the Roma team. You had invited them to spend the last days in Italy with you before you moved to Barcelona.

The club announced your signing in the middle of the transfer season so as not to overshadow your signing for the Champion's League win; you thought it was totally unnecessary, but LaPorta wanted to give you a 'proper welcome.'

The day of your announcement coincided with the day Mapi would arrive in Italy. You really wanted to be the one telling her that you would be joining her team, so you talked to Ingrid, begging her to not make your friend open her phone for that day. They would stay with you for five days before leaving for Norway. In contrast, Alexia would remain with you for the whole week, which was something that you were looking forward to some alone time with her. Still, you were also nervous about being alone with her in fear of blurting out your surely unrequited feelings for her.

As soon as her flight landed, you went to pick her up,

She was wearing some Barça shorts and a baggy t-shirt, wearing a messy bun, and walking towards you. As soon as she was close enough, you ran up to her and hugged her, which she soon reciprocated, picking you up from the air.

"Hey, cariño."

"Hi, champion." She put you down, buried her head in the crook of your neck, and placed a small kiss there.

Then you took her suitcase, grabbed her hand and led her outside the airport. As soon as you get into the car, she takes your hand again and never returns it for the rest of the trip.

"How was the flight?"

"It was good, though nobody speaks Spanish here; they just add the S to the end of every word in Italian. It's so annoying." She pouts cutely.

"Welcome to Italy."

"So, is Mapi already here?"

"No, they are coming tomorrow morning; they had an issue with the plane tickets."

"So we are alone tonight?" She grins suggestively while you quickly nod at her before focusing back on the road. "So, what are the plans for tonight?"

"It depends on how tired you are." She had just had a whole week celebrating with her teammates, and you could understand if she wanted a relaxed night in. You turn around to see her expression, a mix between a smirk and a suggestive glare. "Oh my god, woman! I didn't mean it like that! I'm more than just a body." You remark jokingly as if you weren't thinking about the same thing as her.

"I know. I love your body." She kisses the back of your hand. "Just as much as I love what it's inside here." She lightly taps your temple, making you slightly blush at her compliment. "SO, what are the plans for tonight?"

"If you are up to it, I wanted to take you out to dinner; since you say that Spanish food is better than Italian, I want to prove you wrong. And if you still have some energy, we can go for a walk later; I can show you around the city."

"I'm good for anything you want to."

As soon as you get to the house, Alexia's eyes widen.

"Oh wow, this is beautiful." She opens her mouth in wonder.

"Wait until you see the beach!"

You stop the car and take her suitcase inside the house while she is toeing behind you. You take her outside to see the small private beach.

"How did you find this place?" She marvels, still looking at the clear water in front of her.

"We used to come here when I was little; I've actually started saving up money to buy this place. The owner loves me and has no kids, so he is okay with me buying it."

She turns to you, taking you by your sides. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"No problem."

"Now, can you show me the room? I would like to change clothes."

You grab her hand and take her inside the tiny house. "I'm sorry it's a little messy." You still had some bottles of wine opened and some glasses on the table from the previous night. "My friends left this morning, and I still didn't have time to clean up."

"If that is messy for you, you don't want to come to my house during the holiday season." She lightly jokes.

You take her to one of the spare rooms, where she places her suitcase on top of the bed, and then she quickly looks at her surroundings, confused.

"Is this your room? Because I don't see your stuff in here."

"No, my room is over there." You point at the end of the hallway.

"Just take me to your room; we are going to sleep on the same bed anyway." She says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, I thought that you might want your own space."

"You have to stop being so accommodating. If I wanted my space, I would've stayed at home. I came here because I wanted to be with you. So stop being so cautious around me and take me to your room." She says, using her commanding voice that she only used on certain occasions, which she knew had an effect on you.

You take her to your room, which is the best room in the house. It was the biggest and had a great sea view outside the window.

You leave to make her change while you go in the living room.

She wore shorts, her bikini, and an open button-down shirt when she returned. You chuckled when you looked at her; she was really feeling the beach mood.

"Let's go outside!" She says excitedly.

"Wait, I still have to finish cleaning up, and then I have to go upstairs and finish some other stuff. I'll be there in a couple of minutes." You tell her you really wanted everything to be perfect for this week.

"Nope."

"What, sorry?"

"You are on holiday, so stop trying to make everything perfect; it's already perfect as it is, and come outside with me." She insists, making you giggle at her stubbornness.

"But-"

"No buts. You deserve to relax just as much as I do." She quickly approaches you, grabs you by the waist, and drags you outside.

"Alexia!"

She puts you down on your small patio when you get outside. She places your hands on your cheeks. "Now, let me do something I've wanted to do for two weeks. Can I kiss you?"

"You really don't have to ask anymore." You reply, standing up on your tippy toes to kiss her. It was slow and soft, and you could feel her smile through the kiss. She picks you up, and you can feel her begin moving. You needed to find out where she was going and why. But you were too caught up in her to understand what was happening. Then you hear some splashes and the sound of the waves. You break the kiss and look around: she brought you into the water, and she was wearing a mischievous smirk.

"Alexia, don't you dare!" You warn her. She was trying to throw you into the water. She responds to you by chuckling and releasing her grip from your body, making you wrap your legs even tighter to not fall down to the water. "Alexia, come on, I still have clothes on." You tried to convince her, but she looked like she didn't care. So she began tickling you on your sides, which she knew was your ticklish spot. You tried to squirm from her touch, but you lost balance and fell in the water while the woman beside you, still standing, started laughing.

“Tua madre in carriola!” You exclaim, slightly irritated that you had all your clothes drenched in water, but you couldn't fully care when there she was. You have never seen her as carefree and happy as now. You felt blessed that she was here, right now, with you, being like this, trying to make you finally relax and enjoy some vacation when it was nearly impossible, as you'd always stress about something.

"You know that I didn't understand anything you said, right? Only something about my mom." She chuckles. You quickly go underwater and grab her legs, making her fall into the water.

"Tu puta madre!"

"See! At least I didn't call your mom a bitch." You tease her while she fixes her wet hair. "And this is payback!" You finish, crossing your arms and wearing a proud smirk. You see her expression change from irritation to determination while swimming towards you. She picked you up and threw you with her in the water, and that is how you spent your afternoon. Stolen kisses, laughs, and a whole lot of competitiveness. Honestly, you couldn't ask for more.

After the both of you had calmed down after laughing and playfully fighting in the water, you swam to her. You made her wrap her legs around your waist while she was stabling herself, putting your hands on your shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, you always pick me up from the ground; we can switch roles occasionally." You tell her, lightly rubbing her thighs; you really missed having her close to you.

She replies by giving you a soft kiss, then begins to look at you, smiling.

"What?" You ask her, feeling yourself combust at the intense eye contact.

"I just really missed your face, cariño." She says, peppering feathery kisses all over your face.

How dare she say stuff like that when you try your best to keep inside your confusing and strong feelings for her.

"I missed you too, piccola." You blurt out, kissing her jaw, holding her a little tighter. You really didn't want to let her go. You had created this little bubble in which the both of you were enjoying each other's presence, not caring about what you were to each other, but just having fun with no constraints and being in each other's company.

"I think we should get inside." And the bubble popped.

You get inside the house with your clothes soaked and take turns to shower. It had been more than six months since the last time you were able to touch her, and you felt your body yearn for her. Yes, you had kissed, but nothing more than that.

You took her out to dinner in a small place near the city.

You really needed help to differentiate this dinner from a date. It had everything that a date would entail. Good food, subtle and not-so-subtle flirting, and great banter. The subtle touches under the table or the shared knowing glance made your heart skip a beat. This dinner felt like a date, but you knew it wasn't. And that made you feel a sort of uncomfortableness that wasn't easy to set aside to fully enjoy your night with her.

As soon as you finished eating, you took her for a walk around the city, and you would tell her anecdotes of what you did in those places you were walking by when you were a child.

You arrive at a park, and you both sit down on the swings.

"You know, this is actually where I had my first kiss." She turns to look at you, wearing a curious grin.

"Here? In this park?"

"Yeah. It was here. Actually, on this swing."

"Now you have to explain." She asks you curiously.

"Well, I was thirteen. We were a group of five kids, and we would come here every afternoon to have fun and play with the ball. I remember this boy always looking at me, and one day, we were alone at the park. I was on the swing; he made me close my eyes, gave me a flower, and kissed me."

"Oh my god, it's so cute!"

"No, it wasn't. It was very weird. But I think it was just me who didn't want to be handed a rose by a boy, much rather a girl. But that would be a problem for a future 14-year-old me. In hindsight, I think that it should have been the first clue of me liking girls." You chuckle, reminiscing about that young boy who made you realize that kissing boys was disgusting.

"Turn around." You see her standing up with a determined grin.

"What?"

"Just indulge me. Turn around." You turn around, your body closing your eyes expectantly.

"Okay, you can look now." You turn to face her and see a daisy in her hand.

"Well, this might not be a rose. But it is a flower." She hands you the flower shyly, making you chuckle lightly at her cuteness.

"And you are a girl and not a boy." You state.

"So, can I kiss you? I'll ask because I don't think that poor boy asked you."

"Nah, he didn't. But as I told you before, you no longer have to ask."

"Kissing you shouldn't be something you can take for granted." She replies, leaning into you and weighing the swing's chains.

After more than thirteen years, you recreate your first kiss. And this time, it feels right. It was as if you were meant to recreate it with someone who mattered, who would make you feel excited and nervous about how the little boy felt when he was kissing you. And you felt the same way with her, and every time you kissed her,

As soon as she breaks off the quick kiss, you remark, "I think you are a better kisser than that poor boy."

"I mean, I'd hope. I'm 29. He was your age."

"Don't get too cocky now. You were slightly better." You tease her. Making her lean into you and give you a searing kiss so that you'd know for sure that if you weren't sat on that swing, probably your knees would give out. It had an intensity that seemed out of place for being in a children's park. But neither of you seemed to care. It was dawn, the playground was abandoned, and you missed kissing her.

And most certainly she was just getting competitive because you told her she was slightly better at kissing than a thirteen-year-old. She wanted to wipe away any doubt about her kissing skills.

She breaks the kiss by lightly biting your lower lip, making you feel all hazy.

"Just slightly better?" She smirks proudly.

You didn't hear a word she said, as you were too busy falling down from the high she had just given you to actually understand words spoken to you in a different language by one of the hottest women you have ever seen. "What did you say?"

"I'll take that as a no." She lightly chuckles, taking your hand and walking to the park exit.

"Let's go home." She whispers, placing a small kiss on your temple.

The walk back to your holiday home was on autopilot. She took the lead on the conversation, asking you questions about the week's plans with your other two friends. As soon as you get home, you go to your small kitchen to get a glass of water while she toes behind you. As soon as you finish drinking, she comes closer to you, putting her hands on your waist and making you retreat until you hit the kitchen counter.

"Thank you for tonight. I really had fun." She smiles earnestly.

"I'm glad that you like it here."

"Oh, I love it here. Even though I think that the people in this place have an average age of 72." She jokes

"Nah, 75. In fact, there is only one kid in the whole town. And the father is actually the boy of the kiss in the park."

"Well, at least he moved on."

"Yeah, it was very tough for him, but eventually, after a very long time, he found love again. But again, how could you ever move on from someone like me." You joke.

"I don't know. Well, nearly after a year, I'm still here, so something right you must be doing." She teases you.

"Or maybe you just can't find better." You raise an eyebrow suggestively.

"I don't think there is better to find, honestly." Her gaze softens as she says those words, making you blush, hiding your face by placing your forehead on her chest, hiding from her. She pulls her hands away from your waist and puts them on your cheeks to try to move your head from her to see your face. "What?" She asks.

"You have to stop saying things like that."

"Why? I mean it." She reassures you.

"I- You know why." You try to make her understand, not fully saying out loud feelings; try to make her understand them instead without fully exposing yourself.

"I'd rather you say it."

You take a deep breath. "Alexia, do you want to go on-" Your phone rings and you look from your watch to who is calling you "I have to take this."

You squirm away from her touch and leave to go outside.

"Pronto, Emma. Tutto bene?" It was your best friend whom you hadn't seen in a year and a half. She never called without asking you beforehand, so you thought it was pretty important.

"Si, tutto bene. Ti devo dire una cosa.” She replies excitedly, making you release a sigh of relief that nothing bad had happened.

Ten minutes later, you come back to Alexia wearing one of your biggest smiles.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, still waiting for you in the same spot as you left her.

"More than okay!" You reply excitedly, walking quickly to her. "My best friend is getting married, and I'll be the maid of honor." You place your hands on her shoulders, then slowly move them to her neck, lightly playing with her hair. "Now, where were we?" You knew exactly how you left her; you were about to blurt out your feelings for her, but you decided to ignore the problem and not dwell on it too much. Instead, you kissed her. The kissing led to something else, and for the first time in more than six months, time froze, and you were back again in her arms.

The next morning, you wake up to the alarm with hair on your face and an arm holding you down. You had a headache and clearly were sleep-deprived. You open your phone and look at the time. It's 10 AM.

"Fuck!" You sit up, making the woman on your side slowly wake up. "Alexia, wake up. We are late; we should've been in the car by now."

You say, rushing out of your bed to quickly change. You had promised Mapi that you would drive her to your house from the airport because you thought it would be a waste of money to book a taxi when you had a perfectly functioning car that could drive you anywhere.

In five minutes, you were able to dress, brush your teeth, and get in the car. Thankfully, you remembered to shower the night before, so you didn't have to do it in the morning; you felt bad for Alexia, as you could see that she wasn't used to this level of rushedness, that you were more than used to as you always tended to sleep in, and eventually have to rush to get in time to train or to games.

You closed the door to the house while Alexia was still halfway done putting her shirt on. As soon as the both of you got into the car and slammed the door, you looked at each other and started laughing.

"Okay, those were the quickest five minutes of my life." She says while catching her breath.

"We totally overslept, and we are totally going to be late." You chuckle, starting the engine of your car.

"We can always say that we found traffic." She offers.

You definitely and not-so-subtly speed to the airport and then quickly call your friend to tell her that you are finally at the airport.

"I'm really sorry. We found traffic on the way here." You tell Mapi while you go to hug her and Ingrid. As your friend goes to hug Alexia, you turn to Ingrid and whisper, "Did she already open her Instagram?" You were trying to hold off her discovering that you were a Barça player; you really wanted to tell her, and that day would be the day that Barcelona would announce your signing.

"No, she didn't, but I can't hold off her phone for long." She replies, breaking off the hug and going to Mapi's side and beginning to catch up on her life and yours.

"Oh my God, I forgot to tell you! Emma is getting married!"

"No way! She's finally settled down?!" Everyone who knew the both of you always thought that you would be the first one to marry, as Emma has always been the hot mess between the two of you, afraid of commitment. "Is she marrying the same guy from college?" She asks you.

"Yep." You turn around to look at Alexia and Ingrid, and then you explain. "When I was in college when I met Kate, my ex, Emma met this guy who studied economics and finance at our same university. They got together way before Kate and I. He's so dumb. I love him so much. They are perfect for each other."

You turn again to face your tattooed friend, "Wait, is that a hickey?" Her face is adorned with a knowing smirk while pointing at your neck, making you subconsciously hide it with your hand.

"No, it's not! It's a bruise." You try to explain, mentally trying to remember to scold Alexia as soon as you got her alone.

"It's so not!" She chuckles, surprised, making you turn around to glance angrily at Alexia, who replies with an innocent smile. "Is that the reason why you were late?"

"No! We found traffic on the way here, as I told you before."

"Yes!" Alexia casually backs you up, making your other two friends understand it was a lie.

As soon as you get into the car, Mapi is about to take out her phone to put music on when you stop her, saying that only the passenger in the front, Alexia, could put the music on, which was a lie, but you really didn't want her to see her phone.

As soon as you got home, the couple went to their room to unpack the suitcase while you and Alexia put on your bathing suit and went outside to the beach to sunbathe. You were reading some book, trying to focus on the words of the book rather than the woman who was lying half-naked on your right. Which was getting increasingly more difficult whenever she would move or place soft caresses on your back, trying to get your attention.

"Hey." You turn to look at her.

"Hey, cariño. I'm sorry for the hickey. I got a little carried away yesterday night." She apologizes shyly, making you forgive her in the blink of an eye.

"Don't worry about it." You come closer to her, placing a hand on her chest, and give her a small kiss. You brush your noses together and tell each other sweet nothings, creating a small bubble that neither of you wants to pop. "I know that I'm a person who doesn't express much of her feelings vocally, but I just wanted to say that I'm really glad that you are here with me."

"Honestly, there is no place I'd rather be, cariño. By your side is where I am the happiest."

You move your lips closer to her, about to kiss her, when you hear the door of the house open and see your friends coming outside. You make your forehead fall on her shoulder while you feel her sigh displeased. You slowly move away from her and sit up.

"I'm still not used to seeing this." Your friend says while pointing at the both of you, making her girlfriend roll her eyes at her.

You spend the morning in your small private beach playing card games and catching up with each other.

In the afternoon, it was when the club would announce your signing, so you decided to tell her at that moment. You had brought your Barcelona shirt to be able to announce it away from Barcelona. You told the club that you wouldn't be able to fly to Barcelona for your signing because you had already booked your holidays, so you did all the photoshoots and signing beforehand.

The first hours of the afternoon had always been the hottest, so you all decided to come inside and plan together your four days ahead.

You go to your room and retrieve the Barça shirt. Then you leave to go to your living room. "Oh, and by the way, I decided on my future club." You say casually, sitting down on the couch next to Alexia, facing Mapi.

"You are renewing with Roma, right?" She asks curiously. "I heard some rumors saying that they offered you a big contract."

"Yeah, they did offer me a huge contract. But I decided to leave; check your phone." You look at the time on your watch. "I think they just made the announcement." You tell her excitedly.

She quickly checks her phone, then turns to look at you smiling. "You'll be a Barça player?" You slowly nod, taking out the shirt with your name on it and showing it to her.

"I wanted to be the one who told you; that's why Ingrid never let you use your phone today." You say while standing up to hug her.

"I'm so happy! We can finally win the Champions League together! Like we always dreamed about!" She says excitedly, looking at the shirt. "Have you already decided on the number? I know that yours has always been the 16."

"I don't care, honestly. I'm just glad to be a Barcelona player. Plus, Rölfo already has the 16. I don't want her to change numbers for me."

"It's already settled, cariñ- Y/n." Alexia interjects, making you turn to look at her. "I know how much the number means to you, and Frido already wanted to change the number to 18, so I asked her if she wanted to make the swap. If you want it, you'll have the 16."

"Ale, there was no need to do that!" You felt your heart explode with affection at the thought that she would do this for you without even asking her or talking about it.

"I know. But I wanted to." You lock eyes, and for a moment, it is as if you are the only one in the room. "Now, do you want me to take a picture of you for the announcement?"

You posted on your Instagram a picture of you and your friend holding your Barça announcement shirt, with the caption: 'Reunited with this one.'

The rest of the week passed in a blur, from boat trips to visiting nearby cities and loads of food; you finally felt at peace and ready for your new adventure in Barcelona.

You would stay one last week in Italy with your family to finish packing up, and then you would leave for Barcelona. You found a beautiful apartment near the training grounds, and it had everything you dreamed of. Huge kitchen, a small garden, and a great view of the city.

Everything felt perfect. Alexia was going to pick you up from the airport, you thought it was unnecessary and a waste if her time, but then you gave in, wanting to see more of the woman who had been on your mind ever since that week in Italy, maybe even from before.

As soon as you landed, you got the terrible news from your landlord that a pipe from your apartment had just exploded, which meant that for more than a week, you would be homeless.

As you walk sadly to the exit of the airport, you find Alexia smiling at you as soon as she sees you, but then, as soon as she sees your expression, her smile fades into an expression of worry. You go to hug her, circling your arms on her waist. "Are you okay, cariño?" She asks worriedly.

You bury your head in her shirt, feeling the warmth and comfort she is exuding and taking it all in.

"A pipe from my new apartment just exploded. I am homeless for a week, and I need to find a hotel not too far from the training grounds."

"We'll find a solution together. Now let's go to the car and go home." She takes one of your suitcases, puts her arm on your shoulder, and pulls you close to her, dragging you to her Cupra.

As you enter the car, you melt into the car seat, taking Alexia's hand and giving it a couple of kisses. She turned on the engine of the car and proceeded to leave the infinite parking area of the Barcelona airport.

"If it's not a problem, you can always stay with me." She offered when you asked her if she knew any hotels near the training grounds. "Because I really don't think you'd want a week of Mapi and Ingrid together." She jokes, clearly making a point, because as much as you love both girls, they are disgustingly in love, and being around them made you feel miserable with your current situation with Alexia.

"Ale, I don't want to intrude. You need your space, and until I'm settled in, I'll take up a lot of it. And I don't want you to feel like you have to because you stayed in my home during the holidays," You say.

"I'm not offering because I feel some sort of obligation. I'm offering because I care about you, and I'd hate for you to be stuck in a hotel when you can simply stay at my place."

"Are you sure?"

She chuckles at your stubbornness, "Yes, I'm sure, cariño. But I do have one condition that I cannot overrule." She becomes immediately serious, making you unconsciously sit up. "You have to bake me those darn cookies." Her condition makes you chuckle. "I want to bring them to my mamá."

"I'll bake you all the cookies you want, piccola mia."

You get to her home, and as soon as she opens the door, you are met with a ball of fur asking for your attention, which you gladly give to her.

That evening, you baked your cookies together, fully knowing that the next day would be your first day of training, so it acted more as a stress relief rather than something you were doing for someone else. Which wasn't a problem for you, as it had always been your love language, acts of service, and cooking for other people. But strangely enough, you weren't feeling at all that anxious, and most certainly, even if you wouldn't admit it to yourself, it was Alexia's merit.

Her presence seemed to ground you and anchor you to the real world, not making you overthink or go in a spiral of intrusive and not good thoughts.

You loved how, even though she didn't know how to bake, she would try her best to do whatever you wanted her to do, making you grin at her concentrated looks whenever she didn't understand something.

As you went to bed that night, you were cuddling up in Alexia's bed.

"So, are you excited about tomorrow?" She asks you.

"I am a little nervous, but yes, I'm very excited. I'm finally playing for my dream club, and honestly, I couldn't be asking for more. But I do have a question, though: Do you know how many people know about us on the team?"

"Mapi has been a good friend, but for now, only she and Ingrid know. But if you are asking me if I'll treat you differently than what I've been doing now, the answer is no. Of course, I'll not be kissing you because we are at work, but I'll never avoid you."

"You'll have plenty of time to kiss me on other occasions then." You give her a small peck on the lips and go back to your previous position, falling asleep in her arms, looking forward to the next day.

The next day, you have breakfast together and then leave for the training grounds. As soon as you get there, Alexia goes in for training, whereas you go and meet all the training staff and Jonatan Giraldez. You were nervous, as you always hated to meet new coaches.

"Hey, Mister."

"Hey, Y/n. I'm so glad to finally have you on my team. It has been two years now that you have been my number 6 choice. I hope we can work well together." He says, shaking your hand, making you blush lightly at the compliment.

"I will do my best to be the best player I can be." You say.

"I'm sure you will. Now, before going to train and meet your future teammates, even though I know you already know some of them, you unfortunately have some media to attend to."

He accompanies you to a room full of interviewers from Barça TV and some other places, and the interviews begin.

"Hello, Y/n Y/ln. May I ask you some questions?" He asks politely, and you slightly nod.

"Welcome to Barcelona; what made you decide to leave your former club to join Barcelona?"

"Barça has always been my dream club, ever since I was a child. I remember that my uncle wanted me to become an Inter fan, whereas my other one wanted me to become a Milan fan, but as soon as I saw Barcelona play, I was completely taken by their style of play, and it was this club and Messi, that made me fall in love with the sport, so I will always be forever grateful to this club, for giving me this opportunity."

"Y/n, you have the impossible task of replacing one of the best CDMs in the world, Keira Walsh, who had just returned to her childhood club, Man City, with Lucy Bronze; how do you think you will fit that role?"

"Woah, huge question." You lightly joke, earning chuckles from the interviewer. "I think Walsh is one of the best CDMs in the world right now, if not the best. It's not going to be an easy task to 'replace' a player like her, if we can say that. But I'll give it my all to this team, and even if I won't be the best 6 in the world, I'll definitely be the best version of myself to play for this historic team. It's my dream."

"Who are you most excited to play with?"

"Of course, Mapi. We played together during our Atletico days, and I always thought that we worked very well together. But honestly, all of them, I'm really excited to play in midfield with Aitana Bonmati and Alexia Putellas and one of the most underrated players of all time, Patri Guijarro."

"How do you feel about playing with Alexia Putellas, given the circumstances of your previous encounters?" You furrow your eyebrows at the question.

"You mean, given that the last time we played against each other, she nearly broke my nose?" You say lightheartedly, making the people understand that you weren't holding any grudge against her.

The English interviewer quickly nods. "As I said in previous interviews, I think Alexia is a great player and a great person, both on and off the pitch. She will be my new skipper, and I couldn't ask for anyone better. In our previous encounters, I think we were just unfortunate, and when you play with a person who is physically bigger and stronger than you, injuries may happen. But I don't hold any type of grudge against her; in fact, we actually joked about the fact that if she weren't a football player, she could definitely be a kickboxer."

"And that is all for today; thank you, Y/n."

"Thank you all for being here and Visca el Barça."

You quickly exit the room and speed walk to the changing rooms to get ready for your first training with the team. As soon as you put on the shirt, you immediately touch the badge of your new team and automatically smile. You had finally made it, and you couldn't be happier.

You put on your cleats and go outside to talk to your coach. All the other girls were making rondos or juggling with the ball, making you feel a little bit like a fish out of the sea. For a slight moment, you were slightly regretting coming to Barcelona but you knew that it was just your mind playing tricks on you and that you deserved to be there just as much as the girls who were already training.

"So, coach, do you want me to run a few laps or do some drills with the ball?" You tell him, feeling ready to do anything, even running, jumping up and down from your standing position.

"Oh no." He chuckles. "I don't know if you do this in Italy, but here at Barcelona, for every new player, we do the guard of honor."

"Oh no, we don't have to." You say shyly, not wanting to be at the center of attention.

"Oh yeah, it's tradition." He spurs you on, making you go with him on the pitch to your new teammates.

"Girls!" He screams, making all of them turn around. "As you already know, Y/n will be our new 16, so take care of her and make her feel at home!" He says, making you awkwardly wave at your teammates, embarrassed. Mapi walks excitedly to you and gives you a hug.

"Is your coach always like this?" You ask her, still embarrassed.

"Yep, get used to it."

"I will never get used to wearing these colors," you say, putting your hand on your badge.

"You deserve it more than anyone." She leads you to your teammates, and one by one, you get introduced to them, even though you already knew most of them, never leaving your side, for which you were eternally grateful to her. You leave Alexia for last, and she gives you a quick hug and a reassuring look, which is what you need to finally ground yourself.

They all line up to give you the guard of honor, which you try to make them not do, but Mapi basically pushes you to run, feeling all the smacks on your back as you are running. The training was great after that. You managed to talk and get to know everyone, and everyone was so nice to you.

The intensity, though, was something that you had never experienced before. The Barça rhythms were definitely higher than the ones from Roma, but you weren't the one who would give up that easily, overworking your body, trying to prove yourself to the coach.

You were on a water break, trying to catch your breath, putting your hands on your knees, straightening your back. You feel a hand at the back of your neck lightly squeezing, asking for your attention. You immediately recognize her touch, even though you didn't see her. You turn around to look at her, and you are met with a worried look.

“Are you okay, cariñ- Y/n?“

"So good." You say breathlessly. "I just have to get used to this much running, that's all."

"Do you want me to talk to the coach?"

"I don't need any special treatment, Alexia." You squirm away from her and jump on Mapi's back, interrupting her from some conversation she was having with Pina and Patri. You felt bad about leaving Alexia like that, so coldly, but then again, you always hated when people were concerned about your physical health or were just trying to help; it made you vulnerable, and you hated that. You immediately regretted how you talked to Alexia and decided that after practice, you would apologize to her.

When practice ended, you were exhausted but still very happy. Alexia was practicing free kicks as everyone left to change.

"Piccola mia, I'm really sorry about how I replied to you today." You say regretfully, placing your hand on her back, making her turn to you.

"I wasn't trying to give you any special treatment, Y/n." What happened to cariño? "I am your captain; if you feel bad or worn out, it's my responsibility to help you." She replies sadly, playing with the ball on her feet.

"I know. And I'm sorry. I just hate when people are worried about me. It makes me feel vulnerable. And I know you were just worried, so I'm really sorry."

"I know you are. Come here and give me a proper hug." She opens her arms for you, which you gladly take, and circle your arms around her waist, putting your head on her chest. Those types of hugs with her were your favorite hugs.

"Now, are you ready for the initiation?"

You break off the hug and look at her, puzzled. "What initiation? Mapi never told me anything."

"Well, it's more like a team bonding get-together with karaoke."

"So I have to sing? Will you sing too?"

"I am not singing, but you are a newbie, so you have to." She explains as if she were stating the obvious.

"The hell I am not."

"The hell you are." She chuckles.

"I do love music, but I do not sing. When I am sober, at least."

"You kinda have to; it's a tradition. Everyone has done it. It's about shedding any fear of embarrassment."

"But Ale-"

"Nope, it's settled." You sigh at her words and then leave to go to the dressing room.

“Goodbye capitana.”

“Goodbye cariño.”

In the meantime, Mapi and Patri were watching your interaction with Ale from afar.

"I've never seen Alexia this… soft? It feels weird." Patri states to her friend.

"Who? Alexia and Y/n?" Mapi asks dumbly, trying not to give out any details.

"I never specified Y/n." She raises an eyebrow. "Wait. Do you know something?" The midfielder's face turns into a wide smirk.

"I don't have anything to say to you that I should say."

"So you have something for me that you shouldn't say?" She asks, flipping the situation.

"Stop using wordy sentences to make me confused."

"You didn't reply to my question. Are they dating? Wait, is she the girl we all thought a couple of months ago fucked her?"

"I don't know anything! If you are really that curious, go and ask her!" Your friend replies defensively, really trying not to spill any secrets.

At that moment, you walked through the door and saw your friend, "You didn't tell me I had to sing?! Oh hey, Patri." You turn around to your new teammates happily waving at her, and then you go back to point your finger angrily at your friend.

"Oh, come on! How bad it could be! You were in a band, after all." She says

"You were in a band?" Patri asks curiously.

"I had a really dark past.." You explain quickly and dramatically. "Plus, you know well I didn't sing!"

"Oh, come on. Don't be too dramatic. I'll get you a couple of drinks, then you'll sing something, and that's that."

That evening, you were exhausted from your training, so you decided to have a power nap in Alexia's house, which she gladly joined you in. After a couple of hours, you were ready to go and left for the pub, where you would meet the girls from the team.

As soon as you get there, you leave Alexia to go to Mapi and mingle with some of the Spanish girls in that group, Ona, Aitana, Pina, and Patri. While Alexia went to talk to the older girls and her friends from the national team. Some hours in the night passed, and you were really glad that you were getting along with everybody from the team.

At first, you were very shy with them, but thankfully, Mapi, and in some instances Alexia, helped you a little to open up and make your teammates able to get to know you. Some girls were drinking, but you decided not to, and many of them started off the karaoke, making you sometimes laugh at their stupidity, whereas in others, you would clap at them.

You knew that your turn was coming when you saw Mapi run to another room and come out with a guitar in her hand, making you roll her eyes at her, completely understanding her intentions. You used to play the guitar when you were younger, and you actually were quite good at it. But you hadn't played in so long, and as the hype woman your best friend was and the fact that she loved embarrassing you, fully knowing you hated being the center of attention, she brought a guitar just for everybody to see and ask you about it.

She handed it to you, making you chuckle at her sarcastically, but she was wearing this proud smirk, which showed that she wasn't doing this just to make you uncomfortable and tease but also to show you off, which you thought was very unnecessary.

You open the guitar case, and you see a beautiful acoustic guitar.

"Where did you get this? Did you steal it?" You joke, admiring the guitar.

"The guy behind the bar recognized us and gave me the guitar."

"Do you play the guitar, Y/n?" Ona asks you curiously, making you turn your head around the table.

"Well, I used to play it; I haven't played in a very long time." You say while you pick it up and run the strings through your hands. You stopped playing the guitar when you left for Chelsea. Usually, music was your happy place, but when you moved out from Spain and broke up with Kate, your love for the instrument dissipated, and you wouldn't bring yourself to do something that you enjoyed so much.

"You should play something for us," Patri adds excitedly.

"Oh no." You reply shyly, putting away the guitar. "I haven't played in so long, plus I don't think I remember much, and I really don't want to embarrass myself." You chuckle nervously, hoping that they will let it go. In the meantime, the guitar thing caught some attention, so now, not only was your table waiting for you to play something, but everyone in your group and some other clients in the pub were waiting for you to play something.

"Oh nonsense, you know that you have to perform; if you don't play the guitar, you'll have to sing. So you decide…" Mapi spurs you on. You take a deep breath and move your chair to the little stage where the people would normally sing karaoke. You quickly tune the guitar, and then you finally feel all the eyes on you.

"Okay, if I get some notes wrong, please don't laugh at me." You look at Alexia one last time, who is somehow sitting with Mapi now, and she gives you a reassuring smile.

So you begin playing one of your favorite songs on the guitar; every time you play it, it reminds you of when life was fun and simple. Whenever you played it, you would get lost in the music and daydream of what those sounds elicit. (If you want to hear it, it's 'Mutter' from Rob Scallon, the live version)

As soon as you start playing, your tattooed friends turn to Alexia.

"Good luck, my friend." She pats her back ironically.

"What, why?" Alexia whispers, still trying to give you her full undivided attention.

"If she still plays like she played years ago, she has this way of conveying many emotions. Either they are sad or happy; whenever she plays something, she amplifies it by a thousand. The song that she is about to play is going to hit you like a ton of bricks, believe me."

The song begins slowly, but then it gets faster and fuller. It made you regret to decide this piece after not playing in so long, but you loved it, and honestly, you really wanted to show off a little to your teammates and, most definitely, to Alexia. Thankfully, this worry of making mistakes was quickly forgotten when you began getting lost in the music. You really missed being able to play and express yourself in this way.

As soon as you finish the song with the last chord, you don't dare to look at your teammates; only when you hear the claps do you lightly blush and turn your gaze around the room, searching for those beautiful eyes that have the capacity to render you hopeless, but you couldn't see her, nor your friend for that matter.

Your performance was nearly finished, and Alexia never took her eyes off you; she thought that what Mapi said was right; your performance hit her like a ton of bricks, but more than anything, it brought out a huge realization that Alexia could quite withstand, so she left, to go to the bathroom, trying to get some space. Mapi quickly followed her friend, and as soon as they were inside the small room, the defender turned to pacing Alexia.

"Woahh, hey, calm down. What happened?" She asks the midfielder, placing her hands on her shoulders, trying to stop her from walking around the room.

She takes a deep breath, "Mapi, I have a problem. A huge one."

"Okay, tell me what it is; I know that we can find a solution to it." Her shorter friend reassures her, clearly shocked to see her captain in this state.

"I don't think we can. I just realized that I am in love with her." She says, putting her hands on her face.

"Who?"

"Who? Mapi really? Lady Gaga. No Y/n, you idiot."

"Sorry, I just wanted to check. But why is it such a problem?"

"Because we decided not to have anything serious, and I really don't want to get rejected when I was the one that continuously pointed out that we weren't dating whenever someone asked."

"I think she feels the same. No. I know that she feels the same. Gosh, I spent five days with you two alone in a house; I can understand when two of my best friends are in love with each other. Eyes don't lie. And don't you dare tell that you haven't been already acting like a couple for at least 6 months now!"

"Do you really think that?"

"I know that. Just tell her how you feel. You won't lo-"

You open the door to the bathroom, searching for Alexia. She had been missing for a couple of minutes now, so you were a little worried that she might have been sick.

"Oh, here you are! I thought you left or you were sick!" You say happily when you finally find Alexia and Mapi, but then you notice something wrong with her, as if she was shaken up. "Wait, are you okay?" You asked, worried, coming closer to her.

"I'm okay, cariño." She reassures you, and then her expression changes into something happier and more proud. "I didn't know you were so good at playing the guitar!"

"I was better a long time ago. I haven't played in years, but this woman here." You point at Mapi quickly, "Can't mind her own business."

"Thankfully, she didn't; I know for sure you wouldn't have told me that you are good at playing an instrument."

"I would have told you!" You cross your arms, pouting.

"No, you wouldn't." She shakes her head, smiling, while Mapi nods, backing her up. "You'd hate for anybody to know that you are good at something, just in fear of being at the center of the attention." She explains, making you blink twice. It felt as if you were an open book for her to read and understand you perfectly.

"Get out of my head." You remark shyly, earning from her a chuckle. "So you liked the song?" You ask shyly and insecurely.

She gently places her hands on your cheeks, gently caressing them to give you some reassurance. "I loved it; you are a wonderful guitar player, cariño."

"Thank you." You lightly blush. For a moment, you forget that Mapi is in the same room as the two of you because you place your finger on your lips to silently ask her to kiss you. Which she gladly does, feeling her smile against your lips

"I'm still here, you know!" Mapi interrupts you from your little moment, irritated. "Bleah, I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing this." You raise your middle finger at her, still kissing Alexia, fully starting to make out with her. You hear the door shut, making you temporarily pull away from her to look behind you, then resuming back to kissing her.

Five minutes later, you both decide to go back to your teammates, but as the night progresses, you feel yourself getting more and more tired, making all of your clinginess appear. You would orbit around Alexia more, trying to find some physical comfort in her presence, even though you really didn't want to show off your 'relationship' with her.

She noticed this almost immediately, so when you were passing by her, in a swift movement, she wraps her arms around your waist and dragged you to her lap; you stumble a little, trying to balance yourself, placing your arm on her shoulder,

"Are you tired?" She whispers in your ear as if you were the only two people in the room.

"Yes, I am a little. How did you know?"

"I have already seen you tired many times, cariño. You are very touchy when you are tired." You subconsciously move away from her, but she keeps you in place firmly. "Don't move away; I love this side of you."

At first, your new teammates gave the both of you a surprised look, but nobody would dare to say anything besides Mapi, obviously, who sent you from across the room a knowing look, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

By the end of the night, you had played some more guitar as some of your teammates wanted to sing some more songs. But after a couple more hours, you were exhausted, and when Alexia noticed it, she decided to bring you home to sleep.

That morning, when you woke up, everything in your body ached somehow. You really had to get used to Barcelona's rhythms. The bed was empty, so you figured that Alexia was making breakfast, so you painfully make it to Alexia's kitchen wearing one of her big shirts and some shorts you found along the way to the kitchen, which were scattered the night before trying to get to the bedroom. She was making coffee the way you liked it, with the moka instead of using her Nespresso machine 'that she loves so much,' which made you smile at her attentiveness. As soon as you walk into her kitchen, she turns around and walks towards you, giving you a small kiss on the lips.

“Good morning, cariño. Did you sleep well?" She turns to her kitchen again, rummaging through the cabinet on top of her stove.

"I slept really well. What are you doing?" You ask her curiously, leaning on the kitchen countertop and peaking.

"So I found out that my mom had a moka in her kitchen all this time, and I didn't even notice it! So I asked her if I could borrow it since I know you prefer this coffee to the machine." She says while putting the coffee maker on the stove.

"Ale, you shouldn't have done that! I would've gladly drank whichever one you had; you didn't have to go through such trouble for me." You lightly slap her shoulder.

"I didn't go through any trouble. I just wanted to make you feel at home."

Before saying something that you most probably regret, aka replying with But you are my home. You dragged her to your height, kissed her to show all of your gratitude, and whispered a small thank you. When the coffee was ready, you both sat down on her small table and had breakfast.

You were talking about some media stuff you were going to do in the afternoon when you heard a knock on the door. Alexia looks at you confused, not expecting anybody, and she leaves with Nana in tow; as she opens the door, you hear Alexia talking to a woman who has a very similar voice to hers, and then you hear her scream, "No, Alba, no!"

You see the woman enter the kitchen with Alexia chasing after her as if she didn't want her to meet you.

"Hello, my name is Alba. I'm Alexia's sister." You suddenly widen your eyes, shocked. She offers you her hand to shake, and you stand up.

"Hi, I'm Y/N." You shake her hand and offer her a shy smile, subconsciously searching for Alexia to help you out with this unexpected visit.

"I know who you are; my sister nearly broke your nose. By the way, I want to apologize on her behalf; she never had proper manners."

"Alba!" Alexia screams, exasperated, while you release a light chuckle.

"Don't worry, she has already apologized. But yes, she has to work on her manners." You wink at Alexia, making her roll your eyes at you.

"Since when are you guys dating?" She asks curiously, earning another frustrated scream from Alexia.

"Oh no. We are not dating; she is just helping me out because a pipe exploded in my apartment." You reassure her while she stares at you confused, then lowers her gaze,

"So you give your clothes to all of your guests?" Alba asks her sister ironically, making you slightly blush.

"Well, I- I," The older sister stutters, making the other draw conclusions by herself.

"So you are dating."

"It's complicated." She says. "Is there any particular reason why you are here?"

"I forgot my sweater here last week, and I need it back. But I can come at another time."

"No, I'll get it for you." She disappears into the house, leaving you and Alba in an awkward silence.

Thankfully, Alexia comes back thirty seconds later,

"So you should come to dinner at mom's house sometime. She would love to meet your new 'roommate.'" She teases her older sister, clearly trying to irritate her.

"Well, then, you should invite Alexandre too since you live at his house more than you live at your own house." She replies sarcastically.

"I thought we reached an agreement to never talk about Alexandre ever again after the incident."

"By incident, she means when I caught them fucking in the bathroom during the semi-finals against Chelsea last year." She explains to you, clearly trying to irritate her sister, making you feel like you are getting way too much information on their dynamics in one sitting.

"Let me guess: when she saw you, she made some sarcastic remark, rolled her eyes, and left, right?" You joke, clearly imagining the scene.

"That's exactly it! Always rolling her eyes at people. So annoying! Finally, someone who gets it!"

"Uggghh." Alexia sighs and rolls her eyes at you both.

"See! She just did it again!"

"I don't like this coalition between the two of you." She lightly pouts.

"It's not a coalition when we are simply just stating the truth!" You lightly tease her, earning an approving nod from Alexia's sister.

"I hate you both!" She exclaims, fully knowing that she was just lying.

"No, you don't." Then you turn to Alba, "It was nice meeting you; I hope we'll see each other soon. I have to get changed for practice." You leave the two sisters while you get ready for training.

After a couple of minutes, Alexia entered your now shared room; you turned to her and placed your hands on her shoulders.

"So you met my sister…"

"She's very nice; I hope I made a good impression." You say insecurely.

"You made a great impression, cariño. I'm just really sorry that you had to meet her in these circumstances. Not to put pressure on you, but my sister can't keep a secret, and she'll definitely tell my mom about you."

"What a way to not put pressure on me." You chuckle nervously.

"Don't worry. I will handle everything, okay?" She gives you a small peck. "Now, are you ready?"

Training that day was even more intense than the day before, with the exception that you were finding so many link-ups with your new teammates. Sometimes, you would forget that you weren't training anymore with your old teammates, that if you passed the ball to the right, you would find Giugliano without looking, or that Linari was right behind you, ready for a pass if you needed it.

Now, you had different teammates, and your body had to get used to it.

Being back on the pitch with Mapi had been so exciting. Both of your styles of play evolved so much that how you played at Atletico didn't matter anymore. She loved playing with the ball, so you'd expect more passes from her than before.

What really changed everything for you were the players up front. Playing behind Alexia and Aitana was something that didn't happen every day. The best way for them to express themselves was if you were able to cover defensively for them, which you were doing gladly. Adapting to their style of play was not simple; they played on short and fast passes and opted less for long passes, which were your specialty.

You were practicing on free kicks, which you thought you were pretty good at. You didn't know why, but you were able to curve the ball perfectly, making the goalkeepers go crazy.

You were in a team with Mapi against Alexia and Graham Hansen, whom you were unceremoniously obsessed with her football skills.

It was your turn to shoot your first free-kick. Paños was on goal, and she was eying the ball. You go for the kick and curve the ball perfectly; the goalkeeper didn't even move because she thought it would be going out. It hit a top bin, and it was in. You throw your hand in the air competitively. "Dajeee!"

"That was a great curved ball! Where did you learn that?" Mapi asked, shocked, as she had never seen you take a free kick like that before.

You shake your shoulders nonchalantly while Caro asks you, "What are your free kick stats?"

"Like all time or just last season?" You ask shyly.

"All the time."

"Well, since I played for Roma, I was usually the one who took free kicks. I guess out of fifty-one direct free kicks, I scored forty-seven if I remember correctly."

"Wait, really?" Alexia asks you, shocked.

"Well, I love taking free kicks, and I practice a lot on them."

"That's not normal, Y/n; that's a really high conversion rate. I don't understand why I just heard about this!" Your friend tells you.

"I don't know, I just love taking them." You shrug your shoulders. "Plus, when I go for a curved ball, I don't know how, but I do it in a way that is almost impossible to predict."

"You can do a knuckleball too?"

"I'm not that good at that." They move the ball to the place and offer you to kick it. You hit the ball hard, and it goes for the post, then bounces off the other and goes in.

You scrunch your nose, dissatisfied, getting a new ball for another free kick, while your teammates look at you, shocked.

You turn to look at them, "What?

"Well, now we have to change teams, or it's going to get too easy for you guys!" Alexia says competitively.

"Oh, hell no! Now it's too late; we already decided on the teams!" Mapi says.

"Well, let Y/n decide." Ale crosses her arms, looking at you. "Do you want to swap teams and be with me, who is currently hosting you in my home, or that woman over there?" She points disgusted Mapi.

"Well, I-"You try to talk.

"Of course, she's going to choose me! I've known her for more than seven years!" They kept on bickering while you and Caro just stared at them, chuckling.

"You know? I think I'm actually switching teams." You raise an eyebrow, smirking.

"You made the right decision," Alexia says proudly. She walks to you to get on your side.

"That's arrogant to assume that I would switch teams with you, Alexia." You give her a smirk and walk to Caro's side, leaving Mapi and Alexia next to each other. "Caro and I are going to destroy you!"

And so you did. After another twenty minutes, you finally leave the pitch and get home with Alexia. Once again, you were exhausted, but you were very happy that you were able to get along with your new teammates.

As soon as you get home, you throw yourself to the couch while Nala jumps on top of you for cuddles, which you gladly give her.

Alexia was still pouting because she lost the free-kick competition. "Oh, come on, you can't be still mad!"

"I'm not mad."

"Well, it's not every day that you get to be on the same team as Caroline Graham Hansen. You know how much I am obsessed with her football skills."

"Well, then, why don't you go and ask her if you could crash at her place."

You sit right up and drag her by the shirt to you. "Are you jealous, piccola?"

"No, I am not! Why would I ever be! Caro is in a relationship with Marta. Plus, I am the one that has two Ballon d'Or." She says, trying to convince you.

"I know. You are the best of the best. I had to basically seduce you so that my team could have a chance against you. And you don't have to worry about anyone. There is no one else." The last words unconsciously slip out of your mouth, making you mentally curse at yourself.

"There is no one else for me either. Y/n, I have to tell you something." You nod at her while placing your arms on her shoulders.

"I'm in lo-"The phone rings again. This time, it is Alexia's phone. She goes to look at it. "It's my agent. I really need to take this."

After thirty minutes, she comes back looking stressed out.

"What was the call about, that made you go on the phone for thirty minutes?" You ask curiously.

"Oh no, I was also on the phone with my mom; that's why I was out for so long."

"Is everything okay at home?"

"Everything is great!" You could see that something was up. "But you know when I told you that my mom found out about you-us?"

"No? I thought that she still didn't know."

"Well, now she does. AndsheinvitedusfordinnerandIdidn'tknowwhethertotellyoubecauseIdon'tknowifyouwanttocome."

"What, sorry? I know you have this cute little habit of talking fast when you are nervous, but remember that I am not Spanish."

"Sorry." She takes a deep breath. "My mom invited us for dinner. You can totally say no, but-"

"I would love to come to dinner, Alexia. You didn't have to be that nervous." You give her a small peck on the lips. "Tell her I will bring the dessert."

"So, are you ready to finally meet your mother-in-law this afternoon?" Mapi asks you while you leave for morning training together. Finally, your home was fixed from the pipe, and you were able to finally live there. There was still a lot of work to do as you had to basically furnish the apartment, which had been really hard, especially when you were away for most of the day.

Thankfully, Mapi offered to help build a table that you had bought from Ikea in your living room, so with some help, your home was starting to take shape.

"She is not my mother-in-law. I am not currently in a relationship."

"I still don't understand why you can't tell her how you feel."

"Fear of rejection. Or fear that it's going to turn out like my previous relationship. Fear of being just delusional or fear of-"

"Okay, you have made your point! I just feel like you should; maybe you'll find out that she feels the same."

"Yeah, right. As if someone like her could fall for someone like me. She's way out of my league. But anyway, you have met Alexia's sister and mom, how are they? Do you have any tips?"

"They are going to love you. Just be yourself."

"That's not helping, Mapi." You chuckle.

"Ugh, just be polite and show that you genuinely care for Alexia. They are very protective of her. Don't show off, and don't be too shy. But I really don't think you are going to have a problem doing all that."

As soon as you went home, you quickly got ready in your desolate apartment; as soon as you were done, Alexia texted you.

Your Favorite Kickboxer ;)

I'll be here in 5 minutes.

The nerves were kinda getting to you, so you paced around your empty living room until Alexia came knocking at your door. As soon as she saw you, she quickly gave you a hug and pecked your lips.

"Hey, Cariño, are you ready?"

"So ready! You don't even know!" You fake out.

"Okay, yeah. You have to work on your lying skills. What's up? You don't have to come if you don't want to." She says calmly.

"It's not that Ale. I'm just nervous. I haven't met the mom and sister of a girl I am seeing since my ex. I'm just nervous, that's it."

"They'll love you, believe me. Now, take a deep breath; everything will be fine. We will go to my mom's for lunch, and she will show you some of my baby pictures, trying to embarrass me, and my sister will do the same. Then we'll get back home, cuddle up on the couch, and watch some of your sappy movies, okay?" You slowly nod, feeling a slight motivation through her words. "Now are you ready, cariño?"

You slightly nod, and she leads you to her car, but before that, you stop her and gently kiss her lips. "Thank you. You know I really, really like you?" You tell her.

"I really, really like you too."

You get to Alexia's mom's house, and the first thing she does is go up and hug you. You were taken by surprise, but after a second of shock, you quickly reciprocated.

"You must be Y/n, right?"

"Yes, it's me. You have a lovely house."

She takes you into the living room, and then she quickly disappears into the kitchen while Alba appears out of her room to see you.

You lightly chat with her until Alexia's mom screams for the two girls to come and help her; they quickly get into the small kitchen, clearly not knowing what to do.

"Do you need help, Eli?" You ask shyly.

"Oh no, you are the guest." She says, gently smacking your hands away from the pan you were stirring.

"Oh really, it's no biggie. I love cooking, plus I know how much Ale is a disaster in the kitchen. I can help if you like." You offer politely.

"For your information, I am a great cook," Alexia says, slightly offended. Neither her sister nor her own mother backed her up. All knowing how bad she was, making you chuckle.

"Don't worry, mija, you have some great qualities too." Her mom lightly teases Alexia, making her pout cutely.

As soon as lunch was ready, you helped set up the table, and you sat down.

"So, Y/n, how do you like Barcelona?"

"Oh, I love it here. I just had a minor slip-up with my apartment, but now everything is fixed."

"You are from Italy, right? Because I don't hear any accent." Her mom asks curiously.

"Well, I lived in Spain for a long time before moving clubs. I played for Atletico Madrid with Mapi."

"So you must be happy having her back as your teammate."

"I'm really glad. Plus, Barcelona has always been my dream club."

"Is it difficult being away from home?"

"Well, I left my home in Italy when I was really young; I left to study in the USA."

"Oh wow, what did you study there?" Alba asks you.

"I studied physiotherapy."

"So when you retire from football, you could become a therapist for Barcelona or some other football club," Alexia suggests.

"Well, I could, but I actually work with prosthesis. I studied to help people who have lost their limbs to build them prosthesis."

"I didn't know that!" Ale tells you, shocked but also proud.

Lunch proceeded great. Ale's mom and Alba were just like Mapi pictured them. Fiercely loyal and protective of one another. You really hoped that you made a good impression because even though you weren't in an actual relationship with Alexia, meeting her family felt like a huge step, and you'd hate for them to not feel like Ale made the right decision by seeing each other.

What you really liked, though, was the fact that you could see how much Alexia was being herself around her family. She didn't have her walls up, nor did she have to keep up with her duties as the captain. She was just herself, and you were lucky enough to be able to experience it and be part of her inner circle.

As soon as lunch was finished, you stood up to help Ale's mom clean up the table, and then you brought the dessert that you had made for the occasion.

"I didn't have much time to prepare something fancier; my kitchen is still a mess."

"You didn't have to prepare anything!" Ale's mom replies while she cuts open the cake you had stress baked for the occasion.

"My parents always taught me to never walk into a home as a guest empty-handed." You simply reply. "And really, it's nothing. I love baking, so actually, you gave me an excuse to make something."

"You know, Y/n, out of all of the girls that Alexia has brought home, you might be the nicest." You turn your head down, blushing, while Alexia, embarrassed, calls out her mother.

"Well, I think that just the fact that you are here means a lot. You know, Y/n, Alexia had a very bumpy love life." Alba calls her sister out, making Alexia send her a death glare.

You were too curious now, "I wanna hear all the details." You rub your hands, waiting for Alba to fill you in.

"Well, Alexia had many situationships that ended rather quickly."

"Alba!" Alexia warns her.

"One lasted two weeks I think, with this nice girl. For the record, she was really nice. The poor girl had the misfortune to be a cat person. Nana didn't like her, so she stopped seeing her."

"For the record, I don't regret it! My Nala is my best matchmaker, and I could never be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like my dog, who's currently living with me."

You chuckle lightly at her, "Thankfully, Nala likes me, or else, I wouldn't have lasted even a day." You tease Alexia, remembering how you met the small dog when you first hooked up with her, how Nala would try to get her owner's attention, but she was too busy on you to actually care.

"Well, thankfully, you are also a Barça fan because my sister left a fucking date because they were a Madrid fan."

"Okay, it did not go like that." Ale tries to explain herself, but she is soon cut off by her sister again.

"You told her that you played football, and she made a small comment about how she slightly preferred Madrid to Barcelona."

"She wanted me to go to the Bernabeu with her." She pauses. "On the Madrid section!"

"Poor girl, you turned down a girl just because of her club preference?" You chuckled at her stubbornness.

"She was also very annoying."

"How many dates did you go with the Madritista?" You ask her.

"One." You all burst out laughing.

"The next girl instead, more than a situationship, was a failed date. She was a friend of a friend of mine, and after the date, Ale called me and I asked how the date went, and she replied that she thought that the girl was amazing, but she didn't like the outfit, so it wouldn't work." Alba chuckles hard, making you shake your head teasingly at Alexia.

"In my defense, she was amazing, but the outfit was too distracting, so much so that it felt like our personalities wouldn't go together."

"You got all that by an outfit?" You ask her incredulously.

"Yes." She states bluntly making you playfully shake your head at her.

By the time lunch was finished, you were about to leave.

"It was lovely meeting the both of you. I really hope I'll see you soon." You go to hug the two women and then leave to go to the car, waiting for Alexia to say the final goodbye.

When Ale gets into the car, she sits in the driver's seat, takes your hand, and kisses it.

"Thank you for coming."

"Thank you, for inviting me. Now let's go home; we have a couch to build."

As you get home, Ale quickly gets ready to build your Ikea couch while you take some of your most valuable stuff, like family pictures or small trinkets that hide memories that you will forever treasure.

You were unpacking the first ball they gave you when you scored your first hat trick, then you moved to a larger box, and you soon felt overwhelmed by how much stuff you had to unpack, making you slightly regret your life choices.

Alexia was still on the floor trying to build up your couch when she suddenly resurfaced clumsily.

"Why are those instructions so difficult? I just feel like Ikea should be better at making them. I should ask Frido." She complains to herself, making you chuckle from across the room.

As you looked at her while she was building your couch, without anything in return, just simply to make you feel more at home, a warm feeling spread through your chest.

You just smiled. Smiled at the woman who came out of nowhere and turned your life around. Smiled at the woman who had taken your heart without you noticing it. And then you realize that maybe what you had with Alexia right now wasn't enough for you. You wanted more. Because those feelings that you had slowly built over time weren't avoidable anymore. What you had with her wasn't enough, and you realized that you couldn't pretend anymore that you were okay with it.

You needed to be alone, to think, to prepare yourself. Just her being in the same house as you was just too much. You were feeling too much. Feeling too much for her.

So you quickly stood up, crossing your arms, unconsciously wanting to close yourself off as much as possible.

"Ale, I need you to get out."

She turns towards you and sees how much you were shaken. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is good. I just need you to leave, please." You try to be as convincing as possible.

"Everything is not good. You are not good. Tell me what's wrong." She rubs your shoulders soothingly in worry.

You don't know why, but your mind figured that it would be best if you'd just rip the bandaid off.

"Ale, I think we have a problem." You take a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with you."

There was no turning back now. You could take your words back, so you waited patiently as her brows furrowed and then quickly fixed in a soft expression.

"I think we have two problems then. Because I think I am in love with you too."

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas one shot #woso imagine #woso #woso fanfics

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marycorcaroli · 6 months

Text

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANON.

characters: kenshi takahashi x reader x johnny cage.

words count: 1808.

warning: fem!reader in nsfw, but kinda gn!reader in sfw, fluff, pussy drunk kenshi, reader is blushing, threesome ♡, johnny lives for your boobs, kenshi loves kissing, big dick evergy for my boys, anal sex, crempie, vaginal sex, soft sex, kinda hard sex.

mary ♡: hi! i've been gone a long time, haven't i? i put quite a lot into this work and i started liking it from the beginning <3 i had a request for sex with johnny and kenshi but i decided to do it differently, hope you like it! english is not my first language, i apologize for the mistakes 💗💗💗

rules ; masterlist.

SFW.

you three > world ! the most beautiful couple in the world ♡ funny johnny, supportive kenshi and wonderful you 💘

let's imagine a situation where johnny already liked kenshi but didn't know how to say it so he preferred to keep quiet. considering that they interact quite a lot johnny's liking started to increase and he didn't know how to keep it to himself anymore and bam ❗ there you were ❗ you ❗

you were so beautiful in their eyes and got along with everyone, which pleased them constantly. you often joked with johnny and often took care of kenshi by putting your hand on his lower back and guiding him to the right place, yes he could see perfectly well himself thanks to sento, but he felt better with you as his eyes.

kenshi started to feel the warmest feelings for you, considering how much you did for him and how kind you were around him, but at the same time johnny felt a little jealous, you were always together everywhere, and he followed you around, wanting to be closer.

if you were in a relationship with johnny and kenshi, it would be something between two paradise places, since they are both such passionate lovers for you alone. i think you won the lottery when they first expressed a desire to spend time with you, the three of you, in a motel.

imagine raiden's reaction when he sees the three of you and the way you go everywhere together— you broke the boy.

it makes no difference to johnny where to hug you and kiss you and all that, but as far as i'm concerned, kenshi prefers privacy more :( he wants all your angels and demons to be alone with you.

they want to keep you safe from all worlds and liu kang- that bitch will smirk as soon as he sees you.

kenshi is the least jealous type ! ! he knows how much you love and cherish him and wouldn't go for one-on-one fun with someone else, when johnny will tease anyone who comes near you or kenshi, he's like "yeah, that's my boyfriend/girlfriend, now disappear 🤗" SORRY.

they will support you wherever you are and however long it is, you don't have to be afraid to be active with them or have physical contact all the time, these boys are so in love with you that they won't let you think about anything bad for a second ;( they will do anything to make you feel better (find a therapist ✋).

none of them want to hurt you mentally or physically, because they wanted to tell you that they are in love for so long, but every time something prevented them, but now everything is fine ! ! 'cause you three are so cute 😩 😩

you are literally protected by two big demons in the guise of cute little angels who will cover you with their backs in case of any danger so that no one can see you.

kenshi is so loving, he comes up to you and gently hugs you from the back while kissing you on the shoulders and whispering about how happy he is to be with you in this peaceful environment, but then johnny shows up and literally sweeps you off your feet and onto the floor and you're like wtf?

johnny always wants you and kenshi to sit on his lap while you just look pretty and he looks at you with the most loving eyes while running his fingers over your cheeks.

they both cook fine for me, only johnny likes to experiment in the kitchen and i'm afraid he might burn down the kitchen, umm, teach him how to cook please.

kenshi's kisses are too sweet and cute, his kisses are like taking you to heaven and johnny's kisses are very playful when he pulls your lip away and smirks fiercely, either way they just want to kiss you as long as possible.

kenshi likes to sing gentle melodies for you and johnny that are so beautifully soothing after a hard day ! !

the thing that johnny wants the most after a hard day is for kenshi to hug him and kiss him on the temple ! you should totally get this 😩 !

i already said johnny is so playful, he will literally mock you by saying overly wimpy phrases, making you both blush and want to throw him in the gutter at the same time.

omg ! i can't imagine how good it would be to go to concerts with them ! it would literally be a blast, because these guys know no boundaries when it comes to fun, even the silent kenshi will be the funniest person in the world when you're around them.

i know for a fact that kenshi carries around a picture of you kissing his cheeks 🥺 my boy is too sweet, i can't stand it.

amm, bathing with them is so relaxing, you lay together and relax while your hands travel over each other's bodies.

johnny in your relationship will be in charge of movie days ! ! he will prepare everything in advance and make the place to watch as comfortable as possible.

kenshi is such a clean baby 💔 will help you always with the cleaning so it won't be so hard for you.

despite johnny's personality, he's gonna be take a very long time to create your first album together with all your photos and descriptions 💔 it will be your first anniversary gift !

if you want to spend the night doing something the boys will support you in everything ! ! as long as you don't get hurt in any way.

they will never fight with you or bring something to the point of a fight, why would they do that? they will explain everything in a calm voice and just as calmly listen to you, stability is to their liking.

NSFW.

they both work as a team and just want you to feel as good as you've ever felt before !

everyone already knows this, but these boys will get on their knees when you ask them to.

i think their favorite position is when you just look pretty and spread your legs for them, they don't need much 🤭

both johnny and kenshi are not the hardest dominants, they can be soft or they can obey you if you ask 😋

kenshi just loves to lick you in all kinds of ways, his tongue will rub your clit non stop until he is saturated with you = you won't escape. his inner demons awaken when your bedroom door closes and he gives in to his feelings completely without paying attention to anything else.

kenshi will spread your legs wider and wider to reach all the points you want, i can see new feelings playing in him and too much sweat dripping off his forehead from trying so hard to please you 💘

and johnny will be stroking kenshi's head and telling you how wonderful he is, because he's trying so hard to help you reach a euphoric orgasm, while johnny's fingers are tangled in kenshi's hair, his lips quickly find yours and he starts to literally suck you in, without giving you time to even breathe, then he will slowly descend and leave wet kisses on your shoulders, on your neck he will leave the most beautiful hickeys of all his love and he will definitely bite your ear ♡ ♡

johnny doesn't have the most favorite kinks, if he and you and kenshi like something, he will gladly make it a reality and diversify your sex, i think johnny is in charge of that, heheh.

kenshi will definitely kiss the two of you after licking you and oh god it will be soooo hot, his hands will caress your bodies while his lips are trying to kiss as much and as hard as possible.

ah, how much kenshi wants you to praise him during sex ! ! this little angel does his best for you and wants you to see it ! !

i think kenshi and johnny have pretty big dicks, but not the longest ones (otherwise they would break you) so they were not surprised at your startled look when you saw them but my princesses quickly reassured you that everything will be ok and they will be gentle ! !

their pace depends on their mood but I think they are always a bit fast because they can't get enough of you, but when they play the role of the sweetest lovers, the pace becomes gentle and smooth 💗

will never force you to do anything, they are still the sweetest boys in your life ! !

none of the boys will mind if you get on your knees for them and make them feel good, they will rather lose their head and any thoughts if you initiate 🦋 the butterflies in their stomachs will get hotter and hotter seeing you trying to take all of johnny's cock in your mouth and at the same time working your hand on kenshi's cock - they fall in love with you all over again.

they're so loud ! ! they will moan for you all the time and make all kinds of sobs so you know how good they feel around you and that they love what you do for them 🤭

the truest truth is that johnny literally cum when kenshi just kisses him, he just does it too wonderfully 🤧

they most likely have a few favorite positions.

first: when you're lying on jonny's chest and his fingers don't leave your mouth and his other hand is squeezing your breast and constantly touching your nipple while kenshi is thrusting into you and holding you tightly by the waist, trying to beat the hell out of you and make you see the brightest stars.

second pose: when you're on kenshi's chest and he's fucking your ass while johnny towers over you and makes your cunnie more and more swollen. their hands don't leave your body in an attempt to grab all the places, your moans get louder and your bodies bounce against each other more and more wetly. your head falls on kenshi's shoulder and he manages to finally kiss you after all this time.

and the third: when you're bouncing on their cocks one by one and your breasts are shaking so nicely, you're tired and your thighs are sore, but you don't expect it when kenshi gently pushes you onto johnny's chest and starts licking your ass (his favorite thing to do).

and johnny on the other hand loves sucking your tits more than anything and listening to the pathetic moans coming out of your mouth while your eyelids can't even lift from the pleasure and you just hope he lets you cum.

they both go crazy just thinking about cumming in you-the way their cum will come out of you and the way you'll look with it 🦋

after sex they will just collapse next to you (or on you) and try to catch their breath while kissing you on the forehead for a good job 💗 you will always be their best girl no matter what anyone says ! !

bringing you water or something to eat so they can go and swim together, showering you with the sweetest words and making you smile more and more.

but they also want you to tell them how much you love them and what good boys they are to you 💔 they will CHEER !

#mary ♡#mk1 kenshi #kenshi takahashi x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi takahashi smut #mk1 smut #mk1 x reader #mortal kombat x reader #johnny cage #johnny cage x reader #johnny cage smut #johnny x kenshi #johnny cage x kenshi takahashi #johnny x reader x kenshi

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katbakubae · 7 months

Text

AFABreaderxBakugou

Synopsis: Sick of your boyfriends lack of time with you because of his busy schedule, you decided to take some time for yourself. Unfortunately, letting that happen was never an option for him.

The post that inspired this fic:

CW: smut, language, dom!Bakugou, possessiveness, jealousy, (mild) stalking, name calling, spanking, rough oral.

One-shot

Word count: 4,411

You couldn’t believe your asshole of a boyfriend.

Actually, you could, but that was beside the point. He was always doing this shit lately, pissing you off. You watched with heated eyes as he continued training two hours past when he said he’d be done. Two hours past the time you got here and an hour late for your dinner reservation.

You understood he was busy, you knew that when you got in a relationship with him, and you supported him. However, as his girlfriend, was it too much to ask that he give you even 5% of his time? What were you even doing here?

That was stupid, you knew what you were doing here. You loved him so much that you couldn’t breathe. But…how could you have a relationship like this? You didn’t feel like a priority. He couldn’t even stop training long enough to take you to a dinner he had made reservations for. He wasn’t on duty, and he knew you were waiting.

Anger and hurt flushed your body at the disrespect to your feelings and time—you made your decision quickly as you stood up and left the training room. Part of you wondered if he’d even notice. Is that where you were in your relationship? It had been this way for months. At first, you didn’t complain at all; you tried to be understanding. Then, you’d tentatively told him you weren’t seeing him often. He said he realized that, and he’d work to make more time for you.

He hadn’t. You’d been more than patient. You hardly felt like you were a part of his life anymore. You hated to think it, but part of you even began to wonder if he was cheating on you. Typically, he got home after you’d fallen asleep, even when you tried to wait for him. As a new hero, his hours were brutal. When you woke up for work, you wouldn’t wake him with your needs…you knew he was exhausted.

Your eyes burned with tears as you quickly packed a bag. You weren’t sure you were strong enough to actually leave him, but you needed some time to yourself. You needed to think about your relationship with Katsuki, and where it was going...or wasn’t going.

You cried as you got in your car and left your home you’d shared with him the past year as you headed to Mina’s house.

Mina was shocked when you showed up at her doorstep, looking miserable with a suitcase. Of course, she immediately let you in. She’d made you some hot tea, you tearfully let her know everything that was going on. Her brows kept furrowing as she listened intently, but you could see that she was getting angry on your behalf as well.

“I’m so sorry, hun,” Mina said softly when you finished talking, putting her hand on your forearm, “I’m not trying to defend him, but I don’t think he’s cheating on you. He doesn’t have time for you, let alone anyone else,” she said softly, and you sighed.

You rubbed your face, pausing when your phone started going off. Your heart raced when you saw it was Katsuki. You stared at your phone on the table as the call finished, but it immediately started ringing again. You picked it up and opened your texts as your phone continued to ring from his constant calls.

I’m okay, Katsuki. I just need some time to myself. Don’t worry about me.

You sent him the text, the calls pausing as you watched him immediately begin typing.

What the fuck does that mean?! WHERE ARE YOU?

You sighed, and began typing again.

I’m safe.

“He’s probably losing it,” Mina spoke up with a frown, “I understand why you’re angry, and wanting time is fair but Bakugo is…Bakugo.” She chuckled, making you smile weakly. You knew exactly what she meant. He wasn’t the type to just…let things happen that he didn’t like.

You better tell me where you’re at right the fuck now!

You frowned. He wasn’t in the place to be making demands. When you didn’t immediately text back, he began calling again. You sighed and powered your phone down.

“I just…I’m not happy, but I love him so much, you know?” You told Mina in a dejected voice, “I can’t continue like this, I can’t bear it…but I don’t think I can leave him. What should I do?”

Mina sighed, giving you a small smile. “I think you should try to make it work with Bakugo. I think he loves you…he’s just so focused on being the number one hero, he sometimes doesn’t see much else,” Mina said, rubbing your arm.

“Then maybe…he doesn’t need me,” I whispered, tears blurring my vision, “I never see him Mina. No relationship would survive this.”

“I know, I-“ Mina stopped as there was a sudden, loud knock on Mina's door.

“PINKIE! OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR! I KNOW SHE’S IN THERE!”

Your eyes widened as anger immediately swelled inside you.

Oh so now he cares?

“Mina, I’m so sorry. I’ll deal with it,” you said stiffly and Katsuki continued to bang on the door. You hurried and ripped it open, your heart lurching when you saw your sweaty boyfriend standing on the doorstep. He was still in his training clothes, his ash blonde hair hanging over his furious, crimson eyes. He must have finally noticed you left and immediately set out to look for you. His strong chest was heaving as he gave you a furious look, and you gave him one right back.

“What the HELL-“

“Shhh!” You snapped, putting your hands on your hips, “this is Mina’s house! You can’t cause a scene here-“

“THE HELL I CAN’T!” He roared, his body shaking furiously, “You think you can just fuckin’ walk out on me?!”

Anger coursed through your body as you took a calming breath, trying not to incite your explosive boyfriend further, given you weren’t at home. “I’m allowed to have time to myself. What do you care, anyways? I’m amazed you even noticed I wasn’t there! I need time to think-“

“To think?! About what!” He cut in with a snap, his chest heaving a little harder. Though his face was enraged, you saw the panic in his crimson eyes, “About leaving me?! You got a fuckin’ problem, you talk to me about it! You don’t do this shit-“

“I HAVE tried to talk to you about it!” You hissed, your jaw locking in fury and his furious look dimmed slightly, “you didn’t listen or care, I don’t know,” you huffed, crossing your arms, “you need time to decide if there’s room for me in your life, because right now, there’s not. And I need to decide whether I can do this or not…”

His brows shot up, his furious look snapped right back on his face as he crossed the threshold, making you gasp as he grabbed your upper arms.

“Of course there’s room for you in my life, and of course I care, shitty woman!” He growled down at you, your heart aching when you saw hurt in his ruby eyes, “I fuckin’ love you, and you’re telling me you don’t know whether you want to fuckin’ be with me or not?” He hissed, his grip tightening on your upper arms.

“If you love me, then act like it,” you emphasized, pursing your lips in indignation, “you act like you don’t care whether I’m there or not. We haven’t even had sex-“

“You’re actin’ like a fuckin’ brat because we haven’t fucked in a hot minute?” He scoffed, “I shoulda known, you’re such a fuckin’ slut you can barely go a day without a cock buried in ya, huh?”

Your face immediately became burning hot as you heard Mina clear her throat in the background. “I’ll, uh, go see Kiri for a little while and let you guys talk…” she said awkwardly as you both turned to look at her. She looked equally amused and awkward as you felt guilty.

“No, Mina. This is your house, we can just-“

“It’s okay!” Mina cut in with a laugh, shaking her head. “I promised that big lug I’d see him this weekend and it’s still early,” she shrugged, you and Katsuki moving out of the way as she slipped through the door, “you two fix whatever this is, because you’re too cute of a couple to throw the towel in.”

Katsuki snorted as Mina grinned happily and left. Immediately, Katsuki shut the door as you crossed your arms over your chest and gave him a dirty look.

“Do you have any fuckin’ idea what you put me through?” He said in a low voice, his hands clenching at his sides, “I saw you were gone, so I went home with a gift to apologize and you were fuckin’ gone. I called and I called and you fuckin’ ignored me. What the fuck is wrong with you? You get pissed off, so you let me think you’re dead, you fuckin’ brat?!”

You frowned. Maybe you didn’t go about this the best way, but you knew if you told him, you’d never leave. He’d try to stop you, and you knew he’d succeed.

“You ignore me constantly! I know you’re busy and I understand that, but for fucks sake, Katsuki, it’s like I don’t even exist anymore!” You cried, tears burning your eyes as his gaze narrowed on your watery eyes and broken words.

His nostrils flared. “I didn’t think it was that fuckin’ serious. You haven’t said shit,” he growled, “all you said was you hadn’t seen me much, it hardly even sounded like a complaint. You’re at fault too because you’re holding everything in and then acting like a fuckin’ brat without even giving me a chance!”

You stared at him, pursing your lips. You didn’t want to ask your boyfriend to spend time with you. He should just want to and make time for you without you harping on him about it. Was that too much to ask? By the look on his face, it seems he knew what you were thinking.

“You think I don’t miss you? You think I don’t fuckin’ know how busy I’ve been? Fuck, on patrol, I can barely even concentrate because all I want is to go home and fuck your brains out,” he growled, making your eyes go wide as he stepped closer, “You think I don’t want you? You’re all I fuckin’ think about. I don’t wake you up when I get home because I want you to have enough rest and not be sleep deprived like me. So I just jerk off next to you, looking at you in those slutty little shorts you like to wear to bed,” your eyes widened further as heat blossomed in your abdomen. You had no idea he did that… “but I ain’t being so fuckin’ curteous anymore. I’m gonna wake your ass up and put you through the fuckin’ headboard every night and you better fuckin’ take it.”

Your lips parted, a shallow breath leaving you as he looked at you with heated eyes. “It’s…it’s not just sex, I-“

His scoff cut you off. “No, but a huge part of it is. What, it’s just coincidence you lose your bratty attitude every time you’re dicked down? Don’t fuckin’ think so, princess.”

“It’s not just that-!” Your words were cut off when he roughly grabbed your cheeks and slammed his lips posessively onto yours. Your heart was immediately thundering in your chest as your hands instinctively moved up to clutch his broad shoulders. He slid his hand to your hair, gripping tightly as he devoured your lips hungrily before breaking away and running his lips to your ear.

“Nah, but it’s a good fuckin’ start,” he growled, making you gasp as he easily lifted you off your feet. You kicked your legs slightly as his heavy boots stomped across Mina’s wood floor with you.

“Katsuki, I-!” You yelped as he threw you down on Mina’s couch, grabbing your dress and yanking it down your body hurriedly, his jaw tense. He looked deranged with lust and anger as you gulped, heat building between your legs.

“Get this shit off,” he growled, grabbing the front of your bra and snapping the fabric that held your cups together. You squeaked as he ripped it from your body, his hand then curling around the band on your panties and ripping them down your legs to clearly get you naked as quickly as possible. Though he’d seen you naked many times, you still somehow found a way to be embarrassed at your own nudity as his crimson eyes hungrily looked over your skin as though he was seeing it the first time.

He was always like that.

You jolted off the couch when he immediately cupped your sex, sliding his rough and calloused fingers through your already messy folds. Katsuki was a teaser, he liked to make you beg. He generally never immediately went for it like this.

Your back arched off the couch as you let out a choked breath, his crimson eyes heatedly watching as he circled and played with your clit. He crawled over you, his other hand pinned next to your head as he roughly shoved a finger inside you, making you whimper.

“Show me how fuckin’ mad you are, princess,” he said in a dark voice. Your lips parted, but words failed you as a second finger joined his first, and he began curling his fingers exactly how you liked, his thumb gently playing with your clit as pleasure wracked your frame. “C’mon, what? Nothing to say, hah? Thought you were being a fuckin’ brat? You gonna leave me baby?” He hissed, leaning down and firmly biting your nipple, making you cry out weakly as pleasure rolled over your skin.

You felt a pang of hurt at the slight pain in his rough voice. You wanted to tell him you weren’t leaving him, that you’d never leave him…you loved him so much it scared you.

A whimper left your lips as he hotly moved his tongue over your tightened nipples, his red eyes blazing up at you. His hand was moving expertly between your legs as you began to feel the trickling of bliss start to roll over your skin at his skilled ministrations.

Your body tensed up and he suddenly removed his hand and mouth, making your eyes fly open in alarm as your body throbbed and he moved away from you. You sharply looked at him to see him standing, slowly sliding his soaked fingers in his mouth. He gave you a devilish smirk as you panted heavily in frustration, pushing yourself to your elbows.

“How about now, princess, you fuckin’ mad?” He said in a dark voice, peeling his black muscle shirt off his defined body. You huffed hotly, trying not to give him the satisfaction of begging him, even though you were throbbing needily between your legs. Your eyes widened slightly as he began unbuckling his pants, shoving them and his briefs down his strong thighs. The large appendage bobbed angrily, his flushed tip leaking profusely as you squeezed your thighs together, trying not to look as desperate as you definitely felt.

You gasped when he leaned down, his hand curling in your hair and firmly pulling you up.

“Since you don’t want to use your damn bratty mouth to speak and communicate with me, I suppose I’ll have to find another use for it,” He said sadistically, his thick and strong arm pulling, causing you to topple forward on the floor on your knees. His grip on your hair kept you upright as he chuckled darkly at your clumsiness, his cock stabbing your cheek.

“C’mon princess, open up. If you’re good, maybe I’ll give that slutty pussy what it wants,” he said darkly, prodding your lips to coax you to part your pursed lips.

You didn’t know how you felt. You were furious, but you were also extremely turned on. Your eyes blazed when he grabbed his rock hard cock and slapped your cheek a few times with it.

His eyes were fiery pits, clearly loving your stubborn defiance as he pinched your nose, making you still in shock. You tried slapping his hand away, some part of you told you to pinch his thigh. It was your safety, so you knew he’d stop if you did…wouldn’t he? Either way, you didn’t try. He grinned devilishly as you finally opened your mouth to take a deep breath. The second you exhaled, he released your nose and slid his cock roughly into your mouth.

He groaned deeply when you immediately gagged, gripping the back of your head tightly.

“C’mon, use your damn mouth for something, brat,” he demanded in a deep and husky voice, moving his hips. His abs were flexing in front of your gaze as he pumped himself into your mouth. Your eyes glazed over slightly as you began sucking him and moving your tongue around his length, making him hiss sharply.

“That’s it - good fuckin’ girl,” he groaned, a tingle traveling down your spine at his praise. You looked up at him as he thrust in your mouth, and god, he was gorgeous. His soft lips were parted in pleasure, his smooth cheeks flushed pink as his inferno eyes stared down at you with more lust than you’d ever seen in anyone. The way he always looked at you in these moments never ceased to amaze you. You felt so…wanted. Your heart began to lift slightly as emotion filled your chest, despite the fact that he was currently spearing his cock down your throat.

He suddenly yanked your head off him as you breathed heavily, a line of spit connecting your lips and his flushed head as he looked down at you. You knew you’d hurt him as you looked into his eyes, and he stared down at you.

“I love you…” you whispered, seeing his brow cock in mild surprise that you chose now to say that. He pursed his lips, his nostrils flaring as he huffed.

“Yeah? Cause it seems like you fuckin’ forgot that,” he said roughly, his hand tightening in your hair as you immediately shook your head.

“Never,” you replied instantly, a somewhat soft look briefly entering his eyes for a moment. He released your hair, just to grab your arms and easily throw you up on the couch. You felt breathless as he got on his knees on the cushions and easily spun you around, slamming your front over the back of the couch. You yelped, clutching the back as his hand came down hard on your backside, making you jolt and instinctively reach around and grab his forearm. He easily grabbed your wrists in one hand and pinned them to your lower back. His other hand came down on your opposite cheek, making you squeal and wriggle in his grasp.

You couldn’t believe Katsuki had you bent over Mina’s couch, butt naked, spanking you. You’d absolutely die if she walked in and saw this.

“Katsuki, w-what if Mina-“

“I hope she fuckin’ does, so she can see how pathetic you are for my cock,” he growled, slapping your stinging skin once more as you cried out, “what did you tell her, hah? Did you bitch and whine about how I’m an awful boyfriend? Is that what you said, brat?”

You shook your head, tears pooling in your eyes. You’d never talk too badly about him, you loved him too much…

He grunted. “I don’t fuckin’ believe you. Funny how your pussy is sloppy as fuck for your shitty fuckin’ boyfriend,” he growled, squeezing the skin of your ass harshly.

Tears rolled down your cheeks. You knew he’d never outright say it, but you knew him well enough to know you’d deeply hurt him by not communicating with him, packing a bag and leaving him to worry. You knew you were justified in how you felt, but he had a point, too. If you had confronted him more than vaguely a few months ago, this probably wouldn’t have happened.

“You’re not…I just don’t feel important to you…” you sniffled, tucking your face against the cloth of the couch.

You inhaled sharply when his strong body was draped over your back, his face rubbing against your neck as you cried softly. You could feel his stubble scraping across your skin, making a chill run down your spine as you smelt his heavy caramel and smoky scent - a product of his quirk and all the sweating he did during training.

“Don’t…ever leave me again,” he breathed in a deep voice against your ear, his grip on your wrists tightening for moments before releasing them and wrapping his arms around your waist. Your breath hitched when you felt his cock slide against your folds teasingly. “Don’t ever fuckin’ leave me again…” he repeated, tightening his hold on your waist, “if you ever fuckin’ left me…I don’t…” he shook slightly against your back, as though the very thought made him tremble with despair, “I’d fuckin’ lose it. No one can have you but me - nobody,”

You gripped the back of the couch, crying out loudly as he entered you in one fluid thrust before you could respond. He didn’t want a response, any moment of vulnerability was cut short the second he said what he needed to say. It’s just the way he was.

“Fuck,” he groaned hotly in your ear, gripping your hips as he panted. Your eyes fluttered, lips parting as he began rolling his hips into you, bearing down on your body with his. The squelching noise from how soaked you were almost made you cringe, but you were too blissed out to think about being embarrassed. “Slutty pussy drippin’ down my balls,” he hissed darkly, sliding his hand to the front of your throat and giving you a hot, open mouthed kiss on your shoulder as he leaned up. He held your throat and began a brutal pace, lurching you forward into the couch as you whined and gripped the fabric harshly.

“Fuckin’ hell, princess,” he grunted as you pushed back into his brutal thrusts, your mouth falling open, “such a fuckin’ hopeless slut, aren’t you?” He growled, his grip on your throat tightening a fraction.

He slapped his hand across your ass once more, making you squeak as he continued to roughly slam you into the couch. “Tryin’ to act like you don’t want it so fuckin’ bad. Do I have to re-train this slutty pussy of yours?” He growled, moans tumbling from your lips as you felt the beginnings of your climax starting to inch across your body. You were so fucking close…

“Katsuki…” you moaned, biting your lip, “please…” you whined, feeling feverish and desperate as he slammed into you, his thick cock sliding against your walls and stroking the fire inside you. Your thighs were trembling as you tethered on the edge, pushing back into him messily.

“C’mon, cum on your shitty boyfriends cock, princess,” he snapped, curling his hand in your hair and harshly yanking your head back as the bliss of your climax crashed into you and you cried out loudly, jerking against him as you fluttered around him. He hissed through his teeth, a grunt leaving his lips as he grabbed both your hips. You were draped over the couch limply as he roughly chased his own release, feeling like a fucked out doll that couldn’t even move.

“Fuck, gonna cum inside you…fuck, that’s it baby,” he groaned, sounding desperate and gripping your hips harshly as he pulled you back against his him. He was moving at a bruising pace that was getting uncoordinated and sloppy as he got close. “Gonna…fuckin’ take it,” he growled, slamming his hips against yours as he pulsed inside of you, make you gasp as he groaned in pleasure. You could feel his strong thighs trembling against yours as he rutted against you, his fingers leaving bruises on your soft skin as he panted harshly.

You were both quiet for moments as you tried to catch your breath. You certainly hadn’t expected this to happen, but you couldn’t lie and say it wasn’t a pleasant surprise.

Damn him. There was no way you weren’t going to go back home with him, and he likely knew it.

“I’ll take more time and I’ll wake your ass up when I get home, alright?” He said in a gruff voice, leaning down and rubbing his face against your hair, “and don’t tell me to not wake you up to fuck, too late for that shit.”

You couldn’t stop yourself when a laugh bubbled from your throat as he grunted and pulled out, quickly moving fabric between your legs to stop his cum from dripping onto Minas couch. You turned to look, seeing he was cleaning you with his own shirt. You smirked, shaking your head as you sat up and began grabbing the clothes he ripped off, getting dressed as he pulled his pants up, his ripped upper body on display. He always made sure to clean you up afterwards, and though his brows were pinched in irritation, he’d still take care of you.

“Practice ran longer than expected, but I had shit planned,” he said roughly, rubbing his hand over his undercut and then crossing his arms, “I’ve had a lot of shit to do lately. I’m not stupid, I fuckin’ know I ain’t been there enough. But fuck, it’s temporary. Can’t you just bear with me? Damn woman, you don’t have to try to leave me-“

“I wasn’t leaving, Katsuki!” You exclaimed, waving your arms out, “I was feeling really negative and I just needed space to…think!”

“About what?” He snapped, walking up to you and wrapping his arms around you, yanking you against his naked chest, “you just wanted to fuckin’ punish me instead of just talkin’ to me.”

You pursed your lips. Was that even true? Did you just want to make him think he was losing you?

You sighed, pushing your forehead against his chest. “Can we just…go home? Mina should be back soon.”

“So? She already missed the show,” Katsuki snorted, making you smile as you looked up at him, propping your chin on his chest.

“I love you, Katsuki.”

He smirked, “I love you too, fuckin’ brat.”

A/N: I’m currently working on my other pieces! Since it’s been a while, I decided to upload this one from my drafts in the mean time! 💗

#mha #bnha #boku no hero acedamia #bakugo #bakugou #bakugou x you #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader

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noahsresources · 11 months

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hurt/comfort statements that hit me right in the feels.

pardon me please, i'm just having a moment. possible tw for suicidal ideation and references to death and loss. bonus points for specifying a scenario!

from those who are struggling. ❝ i never thought i'd ever make it this far. ❞ ❝ ... when were you going to tell me about this? ❞ ❝ i don't ever want you to die. please ... don't die ... ❞ ❝ we had our whole lives planned out. ❞ ❝ i just can't, it's too much. it's too fucking much. ❞ ❝ losing him/her/them was the cruelest thing i've ever experienced. ❞ ❝ people say things like, 'you're going green with envy', or 'there's smoke coming out of your ears'. you think they'd come up with a statement like that that describes someone who's in constant pain like this ... ? ❞ ❝ sometimes you need to make room for grief. make time for it. embrace it. it's all i've been doing as of late. ❞ ❝ how is it possible to hurt this much when nothing's wrong? ❞ ❝ drowning in sadness is more fulfilling than drowning in pleasure these days. ❞ ❝ it's hard to let go of the fact that i'm probably going to outlive everyone else in my life. ❞ ❝ i've already lost everything near and dear to my heart. everything except for you. ❞ ❝ i'm just so tired. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. ❞ ❝ i was so close to giving up once. ❞ ❝ i don't want him/her/them to die alone. i'd never forgive myself. ❞ ❝ please, don't go ... i just need to feel your arms around me ... ❞ ❝ there's a reason why i hide my emotions locked in a metal cage so deep in my heart. it's so i won't get hurt like this again. ❞ ❝ i've always had to deal with these kinds of things alone. i don't need your help. ❞ ❝ it was my fault. i did this to him/her/them ... ❞ ❝ i can't even see my future anymore. i don't want to. ❞ ❝ there's no way i could possibly be this important to you. ❞ ❝ if i lose him/her/them, then there'll be nothing else for me to live for. ❞ ❝ i don't see a point anymore. in going on, i mean. ❞ ❝ time won't slow down. it never does. i had to learn that the hard way early on. ❞ ❝ go away ... please, just go away. ❞

from those offering support. ❝ ... i'm sorry. i'm so, so fucking sorry that you had to lose him/her/them. ❞ ❝ it wasn't your fault. you did everything you could. ❞ ❝ just remember they'll always be in your heart. ❞ ❝ i don't know what to say to make you feel better, but ... i'm here for you, if that means anything. ❞ ❝ believe it or not ... i know how you feel. i've been through this exact same thing. ❞ ❝ he/she/they loved you. he/she/they loved you so much. trust me ... i know. ❞ ❝ you're not alone. i promise you, you're not alone. ❞ ❝ don't worry, i'll stay. i'm not going anywhere. ❞ ❝ you've been through so much ... be kind to yourself. please. ❞ ❝ it's okay to cry. you don't have to hide your emotions around me. ❞ ❝ you don't have to talk to me. hell, you don't even have to look at me. but, please ... give me a sign that you're hearing what i have to say. ❞ ❝ please ... don't tell me that you'd choose to spend eternity up there with him/her/them over an eternity with me ... ❞ ❝ you're grieving. it's an understandable reaction. but you should rest. you've been overexerting yourself far too much lately. ❞ ❝ the man/woman/person who you lost, who loved you ... he/she/they wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. ❞ ❝ crying is your body's way of telling you that you've been keeping everything in for way too long. so let it out. you're safe here. ❞ ❝ sadness is like an ocean. sometimes we drown in it, but other times, we're forced to swim in it. ❞ ❝ as long as i'm here, you'll never not have anyone ever again. ❞ ❝ i hope you know that you can talk to me about anything at all. share anything you need to get off your chest. i'm here for you. ❞ ❝ love is often felt the most in your favorite memories. honor him/her/them by remembering all the happiness he/she/they gave you. ❞ ❝ if you don't feel strong right now, then you don't have to be strong. it's okay to be vulnerable, weak, scared, and sad. ❞

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feelrush · 3 months

Text

JADE CITY.

— dialogue prompts from jade city by fonda lee.

“what’s going on? you seem out of sorts tonight.”

“send me the bill for the damage. i’ll take care of it.”

“tell me, my friend. have you had any other trouble around here lately?”

“sitting out here alone? something the matter?”

“how am i still alive when they’re all dead?”

“what did you come for at this hour, anyway? spit it out.”

“you should have killed that man!”

“i fell asleep waiting for you, and in return you scare the shit out of me. where were you?”

“you’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

“i’ve forgotten the past. everything’s forgiven, now that you’re back.”

“ah, what to choose, pain or failure?”

“where are you taking me?”

“cancel the rest of the day’s meetings. i’ll be in my office.”

“wait here and don’t move until you’re called.”

“i’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve been brought here.”

“may i… ask a candid question?”

“i’ll wait for an answer, but not for long.”

“you have to pay attention every fucking second because i can’t always be there if there’s trouble, understand?”

“sometimes the old ways are not without wisdom.”

“can you drive? can you handle a gun?”

“i keep seeing you, but i don’t know your name.”

“do you have anything to drink? it’s still hot inside.”

“whatever it is you decide to do, i’ll support you. i’ve told you that before, and it hasn’t changed.”

“i’m afraid i’m paying you this visit out of a sense of great concern.”

“there needs to be a balance of power.”

“what do they think we are? hired thugs?”

“why the fuck are you here?”

“i knocked but you must not have heard me.”

“you look as if you could use a massage.”

“i visit here too often; it’s not safe for you.”

“i have a gun, and i know how to use it. i won’t be a burden. i can take care of myself.”

“we’ll talk about this later.”

“from now on, i’ll be sure to call out hello to you when i’m still well out of knife range.”

“what can i do to help?”

“if anyone tried to kill you, you deserved it.”

“what is wrong with you? you don’t know who you are anymore.”

“give me your blessing, or condemn me, but don’t wash your hands of me.”

“not ready to die yet. gonna quit while i’m ahead.”

“you work for me now, you understand?”

“i’m disappointed you didn’t accept my offer.”

“we can plan a wedding, a big one. pick a date. i was thinking soon—springtime, what do you think?”

“you can do anything else you want, but not this.”

“it’s not that i think you’re boring. it’s just that keeping watch over you isn’t all that exciting, you know.”

“and here i was, starting to think all our meetings were because you were working up to hitting on me.”

“where and how did you fuck up?”

“risk your own life how you like, but leave me alone to live mine.”

“i’m not a coward.”

“i’ve never asked you for anything, but i’m asking you now, to keep this secret.”

“you do a good job, you make a big impression, show just how valuable you can be—that’s when we talk for real.”

“you were fantastic out there tonight.”

“do you want to get something to eat? we can do it another time if you’d rather go out with your friends tonight.”

“please don’t kill him.”

“must you leave so soon? come back to bed. stay the night.”

“heaven help me. i’m going to kill them all.”

“betrayal, murder, and war have a way of ruining one’s plans.”

“i could still kill him for you.”

“i can kill my ex-boyfriends myself.”

“don’t look like that. like you think i’m disappointed in you when i’m not.”

“i couldn’t sleep and wondered if you’d be kind enough to join me for a cup of tea.”

“it’s been a long day, and i don’t think i’d be very good company right now.”

“but what’s the value of silly pride compared to doing what’s best for the people one loves?”

“expectations are a funny thing. when you’re born with them, you resent them. when you’ve never been given any, you feel the lack of them your whole life.”

“people are cruel. don’t tempt them with arrogance.”

“so long as i live, i’ll never turn my back on a friend.”

“get out of my sight! i never want to see you again!”

#rp meme #sentence starters #dialogue prompt #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts

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blakeswritingimagines · 11 months

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Dating Yandere Wednesday Would Include:

She would be both possessive over her loved one and obsessed with the relationship, but also a caring and protective type of yandere. She wouldn't hesitate to step in and intervene whenever it felt like her loved one's well-being was in danger, but she would also be quick to lash out at anyone that she perceived as a threat to your connection. She would be very territorial and jealous, and she would go to great lengths to make sure that you remained faithful and true to her. She would probably even isolate you from your friends and family if necessary in order to protect you.

She would be devastated if you tried to break up with her or leave in anyway. She would be broken inside, because she couldn't possibly let you go, especially after everything you both have been through and all the feelings we share. She would try and stop you, and if that doesn't work, she would just fall into depression and stop doing anything anymore.

If you were sick, she would love to take care of you, cook your favorite food, she would never want to leave your side, she would want to cuddle with you and sleep next to you in the same bed, she would be happy if you would put your arm around me and i would love to wear matching clothes and make you match her style just to show you truly are hers.

She would always be by your side, she feels like she should be your first priority, she would want to spend all of her time with you, she would be gentle and caring with you unless she has a bad day or she feels you've done something wrong.

She would do everything so you would notice only her, she would stay near you whenever she could, she would give you compliments every time she would have a chance, she would stalk you to see and understand things you like so she would be able to have something to connect with you

This relationship exists solely for her. Her needs and wants come first. She doesn’t care how much it affects someone else, as long as she and only she are happy. Her partner exists solely and solely for her needs and wants. You are to support her, cater to her, and make her happy, above all else. It’s a one way relationship, You cater and support her without anything in return. She is the controlling factor in the relationship and all you have to do is appease you.

Wednesday can be obsessive when it comes to her love, and she'll try to control her loved one's life so that it centers around her. She might not want her loved one to leave the house, or she may control what they do and who they interact with. She might do things like steal their keys, monitor their phone calls or emails, and monitor their social media activity. She might even go as far as stalking or threatening to harm their friends, family, or pets. Enid is capable of extreme and scary behavior when it comes to love.

She would kill anyone who would talk to you except of herself, or who would hug you except for herself, she would give you gifts every day, she would write "cute" detailed love letters in your locker, she would draw a portrait of you so she would carry it wherever she would go, she would stare at you while you sleep so she would protect you from any harm, she would be jealous of anything you would show your attention to.

She absolutely loves taking you with her as she solves mysteries, she loves doing any mystery-related activities, she would even go all her way just to be sure you would be safe and not getting hurt in any way, she would always stay close to you so nobody who is up to no good would dare to harm you, she would put a hidden tracker in your clothing that could send an sos message to her if help is needed, she would stay awake all night just to make sure her partner is safe so much so that not even the Hyde could get past her.

Her friends wouldn't be surprised at all, she always had a strange way of expressing her love to someone, they would even think her ways of showing affection would actually make her a good partner, but they would just see the surface, they won't know what actually happens behind closed doors, her family is weird, they wouldn't have any problems with her behavior, they would just think that you are two weirdos in love, or some would say a perfect match, but others might get a little weirded out by how she acts toward you.

if someone tried to get between her and her sweetie, they would have a very bad time, she wouldn't let them get in the way of her love and obession, she would make sure she gets her darling's full attention, she would do everything possible to keep anyone away, she would even scare or attack anyone if they wouldn't stop.

She wants to protect you from the horrors of the outside world. So much danger exists and it's hard to keep you safe, but she'd do anything to protect you. Her love for you is unconditional and she'll go to any length to make sure you're happy. She is completely devoted to you and will always put you first because you're her everything. You're all she cares about and she wants nothing more than to be with you forever.

If she had to punish her lover, she would withhold affection, and makes sure you know you are getting your “punishment”. It wouldn’t be physical, it would be more emotional, and she would make sure you understood it was for your actions, and not because she doesn’t love you.

Wednesday begins to lose her sanity, her mind slipping deeper and deeper into darkness. She becomes obsessed with you as more time passes by, unable to stop thinking about you. She would do anything to be with you, to make you happy, and to protect you from any danger. Her love for you becomes all-consuming, and she eventually loses herself in it. Her mind becomes twisted and warped, and she begins to see you in a new light. She grows increasingly possessive and controlling, willing to do anything to keep this new, perfect you with her - no matter how destructive her methods may be.

She's also a very jealous person. Whenever she sees her loved one with someone else, whether it’s just a friend or someone you like, it hurts her, it makes her feel bad, and in a yandere’s case, she could get violent. She does everything to make sure no one is with you except for her.

Physical touch is number 1, being clingy and always wanting to be around her beloved especially to get you used to her being around and doing what she wants, she's a big fan of stalking too, she loves it when she's able to know almost every minute detail of your life, and when she has that knowledge she loves the feeling of power, and the knowledge that she's the only one you have

Most people don't know that she actually really enjoys doing chores and housework, she gets a lot of enjoyment out of preparing meals and keeping things clean for you especially since it plays into the whole your hers thing more easily if you just let her take over and do things.

She is way more mentally unstable then people think, people really underestimate how obsessed she is with you and how far she's willing to go for you also, most people don't realize that there is no shame in her game, she has absolutely no limits to how far she will go to love her darling, she will do anything for you and she will never stop doing anything for you.

She'd definitely resort to verbal abuse as another way to keep you under her thumb, like yelling at you and telling you that you aren't good enough or that you should be "grateful" for being loved by her, as well as threatening your security, i.e. "You'll never find someone like me again" or "If you leave me you'll be alone forever" She would also take joy in the fact that you felt that it would be impossible to walk away from her and the relationship

She’s a pretty controlling person, and that need for control definitely makes its way into the bedroom. She loves pinning you down and ordering you around.

She’s constantly marking you with hickeys and bruises, usually around your hips and wrists. She likes it when you do the same, but she won’t admit it to you or anyone ever.

Secretly has a praise kink; she loves hearing you practically worship her like a goddess and definitely doesn’t mind returning the favor for you especially if you've been good for her.

She’s probably into some kind of light Bdsm, like spanking, hair pulling, bondage, maybe a little knife play if you wanna make things interesting.

She's a bit more of a sadistic Yandere and she takes pleasure not only in the fact that she's the only one you love but also the jealousy that can stem from that love, if she senses any jealousy from you in anyway, shape or form she's filled with joy.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednsday addams #wednesday #yandere wednesday #tw yandere #yandere #happy pride 🌈

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ultimatemissadhd · 2 months

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You guys want complex characters but you couldn't even understand Kyoko Kirigiri - Kyoko defending post.

So today I'm gonna talk about Kyoko framing Makoto because you guys only foucs on Makoto in here which drives me insane.

Yes, it was unfair that Makoto got framed. But don't forget that Kyoko was getting framed too, it's not like Kyoko framed Makoto for a murder she committed. The dead body belonged to Mukuro who died chapters ago.

Of course, Kyoko could have pulled out an inspirational speech and sacrifice herself for Naegi but there was no place for that bullshit.

Haven't you seen the bad ending? If Kyoko dies, they never get out of the killing game, the tradegy goes on forever and they don't even know.

And Kyoko knows that. Kyoko knows she's the only person who can end the killing game with all the information and evidence she got. As much as, some of these were in her room, that still wouldn't be enough for others. Plus they would probably have no reason to go there after she dies, I also wouldn't be surprised if Junko got rid of the evidence in Kyoko's room after she died.

The whole reason why the trail was in the first place was because Junko wanted to stop Kyoko from destroying her killing game. Kyoko knows that.

Now, Kyoko finds herself in a situation where she's about to get executed and the "if you vote the wrong person then you all die" rule is not going to help her anymore since the whole thing is rigged and she's being framed by the mastermind. She knows that if she dies the killing game will never and go on forever AND SHE'S RIGHT. She's nervous, she's scared, she's in a point of no escape.

She has to choices:

1. Die and lnever defeat the mastermind and have everyone locked in there forever, mastermind wins, all the deaths meant nothing.

2. Frame someone else, live and defeat the mastermind and then avenge the deaths of everyone including the person who got framed.

There's no place for sacrifice bullshit here.

Kyoko choses to save herself, not because she's selfish or arrogant but because she believes in her abilities and the knowledge she has.

Makoto ends up being the person who gets executed instead and that's s pretty much a random thing because it really could have been anyone. Yes, she feels guilty and yes, she knows it's unfair. But it was the only thing to do so she can end the killing game.

Makoto survives and she goes to look for him and saves him and she does it pretty quickly. She goes there, brings him food and water, then helps him get back to the building. If she didn't care about him, she wouldn't think about what happened to him.

The fact that she was the only one to do so, maybe because she detailed map of the school that she got from some secret room, however the fact that she threw herself down the trash to save Makoto shows that she cares. But I think it's safe to say that if she didn't go down there, there's a huge chance that no one would.

In conclusion, chapter 5 is not all about Makoto. I hate when people make it all about him and how it was unfair for him and JUST for him. Because if you think about it, it wasn't fair for anyone and Kyoko had no choice, just like everyone else. They couldn't just not vote, they had to vote for someone.

Kyoko is an interesting character because like I mentioned before, what you'd except from a Danganronpa female support character would be inspirational sacrifice to let the protagonist solve everything by themselves and "I believe in you" and blah blah.

That scenario just doesn't work here because Makoto alone doesn't have enough information and knowledge to defeat the mastermind by himself.

Another thing is that Kyoko apologies and explains everything as soon as she sees Makoto.

Makoto forgives her not because he is a loser people pleaser although he is but not here but because he knows Kyoko and trusts her and he knows that she has those information that could help save the killing game, he knows that without her they wouldn't defeat the mastermind.

Kyoko Kirigiri is a character with her own morals, brain, way of thinking and mind. She is a deep powerful character who was one of the main reasons Junko was defeated. Yet, she gets very little credit. This would bring us to talking about the anime but that's a topic for another day and another rant.

#kyoko kirigiri #danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa spoilers #Danganronpa chapter 5 #rant

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lovelykhaleesiii · 10 months

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doubt anyone will see or read this but if you do, thank you x

I want to be honest with you all, I’m really struggling to feel happy anymore. I’ve never been one to talk about my feelings easily or openly (for various reasons) but just to cut it short, I’m not feeling 100% anymore about my place in the fandom recently.

I don’t want to say I’ve been alienated but more so lonely. and I see the incredible (and so deserving) love and support my mutuals get, but can’t help but think maybe I’m doing something wrong? perhaps I am the problem. I have flaws I know I am not perfect. but I am trying. I tend to overthink which doesn’t help either but oh well, nothing new.

on top of some personal shit, and having to take on some major responsibilities, I just feel down and out. I’ll find my feet I know I will, but for now, I’m just miserable.

so forgive me, if I am not as interactive and vocal as much. I just intend to write, publish, reblog and answer direct asks. I will try to continue to show support to other writers/artists for I feel like the fandom isn’t as active (or maybe just on my end) and I would hate to think anyone else feels the same way.

I have always tried to make my blog a safe and happy place, whether I’ve done that or not is up for question. there is no judgement here.

to my incredible friends that check up & talk to me quite literally day to day, you are so amazing you have no idea. for those that check from time to time, I appreciate you just as much (for I know how life can get in the way, and do not blame you). For the people that interact with my fics and take the time to read, reblog and comment, you are also wonderful, you have no idea. it’s just the small things that are above and beyond for me.

love love love you all, sending my love to wherever you are ❣️✨

#vent #personal

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hold-him-down · 5 months

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Welcome to Belleview - Chapter 1

Notes: ~11 years after the beginning of The Fighter, this is not a Luke/Leo story but is in-universe.

TW: Institutionalized slavery, nonsexual nudity, starvation mention, human euthanasia mention, degrading language, all the things.

✥ ✥ ✥

From the outside, it is a beautiful campus. Elegant in its simplicity, with three brick buildings forming a crescent at the mouth of a long, rose-bush lined drive that intersects wrought iron gates.

Today, police swarm it, more for the optics than anything else. They’re not here to enact change, or to start building moral credit, but they are here, and so he smiles, shakes hands, introduces himself.

He opens the double-paned glass door, which sits just in front of a set of reinforced steel bars, and he’s immediately met with the silence of a reception area from which all of its workforce has been escorted out.

Almost all.

“Lincoln Prescott?” says a singular man, in his mid-twenties on his best day, peeking around the corner. He’s nervous, skittish even. Fidgeting palms run down his sweater and he smiles, but it’s not the smile of someone who’s happy, welcoming, comfortable, warm.

Lincoln returns the gesture and nods. He doesn’t extend his hand. Instead, he turns over the key he’s just been handed, and he reads the man’s name-tag.

Jared Fisher, Handler. Level Two.

Jared smiles sheepishly and takes off the name-badge. “I wasn’t sure if I should wear it. I guess… I guess it’s not really needed anymore.” He holds it out to Lincoln, who stares at it for several seconds, before he sets it on the counter behind him.

“Uh,” Jared says, cutting through the silence of the massive waiting area. “I’m sorry. I know, I’m sure, that you’re not– I get it, I mean. I know I’m the enemy here.”

Lincoln narrows his eyes, shaking his head once.

“They said if I– Uhh, they said they’ll take it into c– consideration, I guess. When the trials start. When… whatever is going to happen, happens.” He swallows, and Lincoln feels something that is related to sympathy, but not quite it. He lets that feeling fizzle quickly. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Jared says quietly.

There’s silence again. Lincoln lets it settle over him, watching the ex-handler’s fidgeting intensify, before he says, “Oh. You’re waiting for me to speak.”

Jared shrinks.

When the final nail in the coffin of support for the trade and consumption of government-sanctioned slavery had been hammered in, there wasn’t the type of frenzy that anyone expected. That morning, people, by and large, woke up, had their coffee, showered. They caught their trains to work, they read their news and they watched, closely, but there wasn’t an uproar. They stole glances at their phones and monitors for updates, for news, for what happens next.

Truth be told, it had been heading this way for a while. Within the last ten years, Individual states had begun passing legislation that, in hindsight, paved the path for widespread challenges to the system, led by a few congresspeople who finally woke the fuck up. Things turned violent early, with protests, rallies, boycotts, demonstrations… everything imaginable.

Videos of workers being tortured, followed by videos of workers recounting their own stories, began making national headlines. Consumers of workers’ labor fought hard to sway public opinion back to the positive outcomes the system had brought the country, but with each passing week, with each new video of a worker strapped to a table being violated in unimaginable ways, it was a losing battle.

As local legislation was passed, certain states became a kind of safe-haven for runaways. And eventually, things started going federal.

The most significant bill, the one that fully outlawed the use of worker labor and reinstated the ‘freedom’ of current workers, was going to be codified that morning. It wasn’t unexpected, at that point, but still, the infrastructure, the plan, was… well, it had holes, to say the least.

The workers who were deemed functional, by some arbitrary metric, would be relocated to massive government-owned housing units. They would share rooms by the half dozen, be fed, given medical attention, and slowly be reintegrated into society. No one knew exactly how that would work, but it had been successful in the states that had already outlawed worker labor (with some notable exceptions), so the plan, half-assed as it was, was set into motion.

Former safehouses were repurposed as halfway houses for those who were less “independent.”

Individual volunteers were gathered who would open their homes to those who were unable to care for themselves but didn't pose any significant safety or medical risk.

In the days leading up to the vote for reinstatement of worker rights, when it was clear how things were going to go, people did go into a frenzy. Hospitals scrambled to hire, doctor’s offices scrambled to modify policy, the call for volunteers to offer shelter, food, medical assistance, jobs… it was madness.

But that morning, the morning the final nail landed, it was quiet.

Jared leads Lincoln down a narrow hallway, spouting off information as he does. The linoleum tiled floor is clean, but peels around the edges. The walls are white, chipped along the corners and where the doorframes meet the drywall. The ceiling is white, but there’s a yellow cast. The fluorescent lights that line the halls give it a sort of eerie post-apocalyptic vibe, and it’s fitting.

The building, Belleview, is eerily quiet. There’s no obvious screaming coming from within, so it’s already better than he expected.

Jared slaps his keycard against a box outside a set of double doors, and Lincoln takes a breath. The volunteers are gathering outside by now. His group of nurses, doctors, caretakers. They could be with him, but he wanted this run-through alone. To give him time to make sure the plan that he spent the last week finessing would work.

Jared stops at the first door, and pushes a button outside of it, bringing to life a screen. There’s a name on the top, and Lincoln glances through the information he’s shown. Jared presses another button, and the door unlocks audibly, the light above it turning from red to green.

Inside is a man, with nothing else. Brown hair, blue eyes. He doesn’t look at them.

“This one can get aggressive.” Jared’s voice is matter of fact, as he points out the information on the tablet. “They come here to… you know, to be of whatever use they can be until they…” he whispers, and Lincoln offers him the briefest of glances. He regrets it immediately. “Expire.”

Lincoln turns his attention back to the screen, and so Jared continues. “We have 21, uh… residents, right now. I think that’s what we’re supposed to call them now. They were… well, you know. They were workers, but the rejects, I guess. They’re in… they’re in various states of um…”

Lincoln clears his throat tersely, throwing a warning glance to the ex-handler.

“Well, okay. I’m sure you’ve been briefed, and if not, I’m sure you will be.” He begins walking again, letting the last door close without another glance, as he approaches the next. “We tried to take as good of care of them as we could. They’re fed and watered and we tried to... whenever we could, some of us tried to offer them some comfort.”

He stops at the door. “Obviously, they’re here for a reason, so they don’t tend to be super… uh, super cooperative or trainable or anything. They’re usually just… they’re here for a short time, and then–” He stops himself this time, without the warning glance.

“We call this guy Tank, but I think his real name is Tyler, if that means anything to you.”

Lincoln nods. “Does it say here? Anywhere on here? What his name is?”

Jared fiddles with the screen for several seconds before it comes to a demographic page. It lists 20 inhabitants, and presumably, their room numbers.

“Look at that,” Jared says then, interrupting Lincoln’s review. “Looks like I was right, it is Tyler. That was a guess.”

Lincoln takes a breath, because there’s no benefit to causing a scene here. If Jared was offered leniency, then he was a handler who, at least on the surface, wasn’t as bad as he could have been.

“Anyway, this one used to be aggressive, too." The door opens and Jared gestures to the man who lays on his stomach, bandages across his back. "But now? Nothing going on in there.” He points to his own temples, and lets the door swing shut. He switches to the video feed, where Tyler stares into the camera.

Jared continues along to the next room, and Lincoln follows behind him, his thoughts racing.

Lincoln Prescott was already in his car on his way to the site he’d been assigned to oversee before they even finalized things in the White House. It’s a temporary solution to a very serious problem, they said. It would take ten to fifteen days to get those who were in no shape to get to a halfway house the medical attention they needed and find suitable placements for them.

In the meantime, they were safest where they were. He was needed to help organize the volunteers and medical personnel, and to act as a sort of director of the temporary housing facility.

So he drove. He knew it would be bad, maybe the worst of the worst. He had been briefed. He was given a stack of files of the inhabitants that he would be overseeing. He looked it over that night, and every night since then. He spent the last six days memorizing every face, every backstory.

It was a site to house those that the government had deemed unable to be placed, for one reason or another. Too violent, too unpredictable, too difficult to be trained. From what Lincoln could gather, these workers served any and all purposes. Their primary reason for existence was, it seemed, to trial training techniques, to trial drugs, to motivate the workers who were difficult, to show that there were worse fates.

They ranged in ages from 19-26. None survived longer.

“Doctor Prescott?” Jared asks, from somewhere far away. Lincoln looks up from the tablet, and Jared is already down the hall at the next door. Lincoln takes a breath, biding his time. They’ve gone through eighteen of the men, with Jared's special commentary on each of them. Twice, Jared had promised that he wasn't a bad person, and that the culture had been one thing, but now it was another, and he was ready to pivot.

Only once had Lincoln felt himself snap, and had to excuse himself before serious harm was done.

Some of the men were given the accommodation of a bed, some of them were given clothing, some had rotten food in their cells, some had broken bones, open wounds. Some slept fitfully, and some slept so completely still that Lincoln thought that they might not be alive at all. Jared had assured him, in those moments, that they probably were.

Jared opens the door to the twentieth room, with a small, “We call this one ‘Felix.’ I think you’ll like him,” as he does. The man, short blonde hair and dark brown eyes and at least forty pounds less than his frame should support, blinks himself awake. He sits in the corner of the tiny room and stares at Lincoln. He tries to smile, but the tremors that rock his body make it hard to buy. He doesn't wear any clothes, and has one of the DLS-issued shock collars affixed to his neck. His ribs shake when he breathes too deep, but again, he tries to smile, even as he backs further into the corner.

Jared is speaking to him, but Lincoln doesn’t clock exactly what’s being said. The man looks so afraid, but still, he lifts his fingers in a sort of wave, shaking as he does. Lincoln waves back, offering him a small smile in return.

“We’re not allowed to euthanize them,” Jared is saying.

“What?”

“When they hit the end, I mean. We have to give them enough food, give them enough water. If they choose to stop eating or drinking or… whatever, that’s on them. We can’t assist them. Once they’re too far gone, sometimes we’ll just stop trying to get them to eat, and let them go.”

He thought, by now, that he’d heard it all. His eyes widen. “Is that where we’re at with him?”

Jared shrugs. “He’s sick. The director said he’s gonna go any day now, but it’s better if we don’t directly cause that.”

Lincoln doesn’t attempt to keep the hatred out of his eyes.

“He knows,” Jared says. “They all do. Once we stop pulling them for testing, it’s only a matter of time. He wants you to pull him, though,” he continues. “He wants to know it’s not his time yet. He wants to show you he can still be of use. He doesn’t really speak anymore, but he tries to be sweet, so we will keep him in rotation.”

“Stop talking,” Lincoln says then, his fist in a tight ball but, remarkably, not around the man’s throat. Jared’s mouth snaps shut.

“Show me the last one, and then you’re finished here.”

As they retreat away from the man’s cell, the door closes behind them, and Lincoln watches the hope leave his eyes.

They make quick work of the last door, and the weasley man leads Lincoln back through the main wing, mumbling about how there were several wings they didn’t tour, but he at least got to see all the residents, and how if he has questions, he is more than happy to take a call, day or night, and how…

✥ ✥ ✥

The volunteers stand in a haphazard group, each with a color coded name-badge to at least give Lincoln a starting point as to their role. He begins by directing the doctors and nurses to rooms, providing instructions on how to access the rooms, providing instructions on how to access the medical files, providing whatever information he can.

They’re working on finding placements for each of these boys, he tells them. But they all require intensive, specific treatment. As they find placements, they’ll be housed, and once they’ve placed the last boy, the volunteers will be reassigned.

As the last of the volunteers heads inside to get their own bearings, Lincoln takes a step back, regarding the innocuous building.

“I guess that’s that,” Jared says from behind him, taking a step forward and extending his hand out once more. Lincoln looks down at it, shoving his hands into his pockets, as Jared mumbles, “Welcome to Belleview.”

UNTITLED SYSTEM COLLAPSE STORY TAGLIST: @pigeonwhumps @peachy-panic @whump-cravings

#belleview #institutionalized slavery #this is going somewhere #its going places #maybe not to the pulitzer prize people #but places #nonsexual nudity #torture mention #government stuff #it's a set up ok #they'll be sweet soft guys eventually

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blinkpen · 2 months

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whu,

just now caught up on the. the that. jesus christ. as someone who was like, Around during the mass nuking of blm and ferguson related tags and blogs, i'm not, SURPRISED, at it happening, this isn't the first incidence by any means, this is a member of the choir of "the hellsite is used by necessity, fuck the racist transphobic brand-brained management and their refusal to ban literal nazis, if you gave them money for a fun widdle badge i have in fact judged you at least a little bit" you're preaching to

though "the turbo-transmisogynist ceo hopped platforms and logged into his accounts on other websites just to keep harassing and being a sore winner at women he felt he hadn't gotten enough of one over on yet??? in front of everybody??? like a jackass??? like a huge fucking piece of shit bigot jackass???" is certainly.

well it certainly. is.

trans women i love you and this is such an obvious thing to say but you deserve to use social media websites at the same clip as anyone else without being perpetually forced to dance on a cliff's edge above an ocean of internet harassment where you get cut off from community and support you need in this increasingly isolated hellworld, and it pains me greatly that you don't get that!

i know i don't accomplish much by stating the obvious but! it bears repeating! even if the skeletons running this website is hostile, each of us can still do the most we can to compensate and work to make the world better for you because you deserve that, you deserve that effort.

the first step is watching the matt man get thwapped with a newspaper by whoever has to deal with the legal fallout of this because Hopefully, there will be accountability? i won't patronize by being like oh This is Definitely how the Bad Man finally gets struck by All the consequence that feels appropriate in the "if life was like a movie" sense bc you and i have both been around the block enough times to know how rarely that actually happens but

like i said, those awful odds are something the rest of us need to work and fight to square up and make not awful anymore, and frankly, prevent situations where accountability even has to be pursued from happening in the first place, by fostering a baseline safe and accepting atmosphere where. yknow. treating you this way isn't even going to cross someone's mind, because why should it?

it shouldn't! there's no reason for it!

i'm rambling, i don't really know how to wrap this up or make it deep or worded extra good or anything, just. yeah. if you are transfem and reading this, i love you, i will never stop demanding the world to be kinder to you, that the lgbt community to be kinder to you, you belong in it! you should be safe and loved and able to rest and party and yell and cry and react and feel and be all that you are here, and anywhere you go!

you were born on this world! by definition, you belong on the face of it, as visible and varied as you see fit, as anyone else! so you should get to live like it! gesticulates frantically bc again i don't know how to end this train of thought! i love you!

#sporadic warbling #been in kind of a daze this week tbh! i hope everyone is hanging in there #discussion of transmisogyny (the ceo stuff going on atm im just catching up)#i'd ask what his problem is but like we have a word for the problem and i kinda don't care what gave it to him #i just want him [removed from any position of authority where his bigotry can guide decisions that impact others' lives]

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sharpth1ng · 23 days

Note

Saw your post replying to the ask about 'losing a Billy person' and it got me thinking about this. I guess I'm a Billy person who's (nearly) lost their Stu person (which is actually rare and quite the opposite to their dynamic) In WoM Billy decides to move and start a new life afar from Stu because all the shit that's happened and his feelings about him and stuff so he's being sort of avoidant too. They both have very poorly communication skills and they definitely don't resolve anything so I can totally picture Billy getting away from Stu when he starts doing dumb shit (and because of Billy's fear of abandonment because of his mom, he doesn't wanna get hurt, feel vulnerable... etc) and when he doesn't get in exchange the kind of feedback he wants, ( a Stu who's devoted to him and their relationship, a lifetime partner, and everything he's bowed to) How would Billy deal with a lack of commitment? An unexpected betrayal? I guess I love angsty Billy way too much, lol. I'm a big fan of Stu going thru the process of grief but if the opposite happened how would Billy cope with it? My take on this is: bad copying mechanisms, tons of unleashed anger that he's been boiling up and listening to the same 3 depressive alt rock CD'S.

Also, re-reading Debaser and Wom it's like my biggest source of comfort atm so thanks for sharing your amazing writing with us<3

I think the way I write him Billy is also terrified of the idea of a lifetime partner tbh. Does he want that internally? Desperately, but because of the situation with his mom he doesn't feel safe wanting that.

Allowing himself to fully want and have Stu means acknowledging that he would be worse off without him, that he needs him on some level. Billy's got that self-sufficiency type toxic masculinity, he thinks he needs to be perfectly ok on his own and that he shouldn't ever need to rely on anyone else (which is just not how people work).

As a result, Billy running away in WoM is very much avoidance because he got a taste of what it would be like if he lost Stu and he couldn't handle it. Literally all of this is happening because Stu is too trustworthy, too reliably supportive, and Billy essentially thinks that enjoying that makes him weak.

So if there was an actual betrayal? He's going nuclear honestly. It doesn't even have to be the biggest betrayal. Stu's basically the last person he actually trusts in the world, he definitely doesn't trust Nancy anymore. Really the only reason he hasn't totally blown up at her is that he's put her on a pedestal, he sees her as a victim in this situation. So her actions are somewhat justified to him, but at the same time any trust he had for her has completely eroded.

Now with Stu, where he actually does trust him and also is essentially afraid of what that means? If he was betrayed or that trust was broken he would take that to mean that he was right; trusting or relying on anyone else is a bad idea. I think his specific reaction depends on what happened- if its a smaller thing yeah he might just run away, self isolate, smoke too much and get really aggro in general.

If it's anything even a little bit bigger though I think he would be on an actual warpath, like its Billy Loomis vengeance time and we all know what that means. He might decide to make Stu's life a living hell in a lot of little ways or he might decide to bottle it up, act like things are normal the way he did with Sid and then completely tear Stu's life down around him.

Either way I think this results in a much more self-destructive Billy than what we saw in his revenge plan with Sid. A Billy who's lost his trust in Stu is a Billy without direction, without comfort, and I think ultimately a Billy without hope. Like worst case scenario I do think he might try to kill Stu, but either way this is a Billy defending fully into nihilism.

So yeah, if there’s a lack of commitment? Billy is gone, he’s isolating and he’s telling himself he doesn’t need anything or anyone. If it’s a betrayal? He’s on the warpath.

#pookie bear better be truthful OR ELSE #Stuilly #billy loomis x stu matcher #wave of Mutilation fanfic #wave if Mutilation spoilers #ask

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dc-and-arfrona · 11 months

Text

Yours to break

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Jason Todd x GN! Reader

Type: Fluff

Word Count: 700+

Based off this prompt

Masterlist

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The rain poured down relentlessly, washing away the sins of Gotham City. Within the dimly lit walls of the dilapidated safe house, Jason Todd found solace from the chaos that consumed their life. Their heart was burdened with emotions they had long kept hidden, feelings they dared not acknowledge until now.

In the midst of their thoughts, they caught a glimpse of them. Standing by the window, their silhouette highlighted by the soft glow of a flickering streetlamp. Their presence always seemed to bring warmth to Jason's tormented soul, offering a glimmer of hope in the darkness.

Taking a deep breath, Jason walked over to where they stood. They watched them for a moment, admiring the way the raindrops kissed their skin, each one like a fragile caress. Their heart pounded in their chest, each beat a reminder of the intense affection they held for this person.

Without warning, Jason's voice trembled as they spoke, "You know, I've never been good with words. But lately, something's been eating at me, and I can't keep it to myself anymore."

They turned to face Jason, their eyes filled with curiosity and concern. The unspoken tension between them was palpable, as if the air itself held its breath, waiting for Jason's next words.

"I don't know how to say this," Jason confessed, their voice barely above a whisper. "But every time I look at you, every time I'm near you, my heart races, and it feels like I'm alive again. You...you mean more to me than I ever thought possible."

Their eyes widened, the realization slowly dawning on them as they listened intently. Jason's vulnerability frightened them, yet they pressed on, determined to bare their soul to this person.

"The truth is," Jason continued, their voice growing stronger, "I've never loved anyone the way I love you. You've seen the darkest parts of me, and yet, you still stand by my side. You make me want to be a better person."

Silence hung in the air as they processed Jason's heartfelt confession. Their gaze softened, and a gentle smile graced their lips. It was a smile that held understanding, acceptance, and perhaps even reciprocation.

Reaching out, they took Jason's hand, intertwining their fingers. Their touch sent shivers down Jason's spine, as if their connection ignited a dormant fire within them.

"I've been waiting for you to say those words," they replied softly. "But actions speak louder than words, Jason. And you've shown me your love in countless ways. You've protected me, supported me, and stood by me when no one else would. Your love has always been there, even when it remained unspoken."

Tears welled up in Jason's eyes, a mixture of relief and overwhelming joy. They pulled this person into a tight embrace, their heart beating in sync with theirs. In that moment, the weight of Jason's past mistakes and tragedies seemed to lift, replaced by a newfound hope for a brighter future.

Whispers of redemption echoed through the walls of their safe haven, sealing their unspoken promise of love and understanding. And as they stood there, locked in each other's arms, they knew that together, they could conquer any darkness that lay ahead.

"My heart is yours," Jason whispered, their voice filled with sincerity. "Break it if you must, but let me love you completely."

This person held Jason even tighter, their touch conveying reassurance and tenderness. "I'll guard your heart as fiercely as you guard mine," they replied, their voice steady. "Together, we'll heal each other's wounds and create a love that is unbreakable."

In that moment, all doubts and fears melted away, replaced by a profound sense of belonging. They knew that love was not without its challenges, but with trust, understanding, and a shared commitment, they were ready to face whatever obstacles lay ahead.

As the rain continued to fall outside, washing away the remnants of the past, Jason and this person found solace in their shared vulnerability and unwavering love. The storm had brought them together, and now, they would weather it side by side.

#dc universe #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #red hood x you #robin x reader #dc imagine #jason todd imagine #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #red hood imagine

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