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dudeitiskarev · 1 year

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My One and Only

Paring: Aaron Hotchner x female reader

Summary: It's Derek and Savannah's wedding, and to Hotch, you're the prettiest person in the room.

Content/warnings: mutual pining; secret relationship; food and alcohol consumption; smut (18+ only please. Minors do not engage).

Word count: 7.3k

Author’s note: this one of my all time favorite fics I’ve written that is also based on one of my fav songs by miss Taylor Swift ‘Dress’. thought I’d post it here since I’ve been gaining some new followers and as most of my fics, it’s only on AO3. If you’re new here, welcome and I hope you enjoy! Mwahh!

Everyone’s eyes were on the bride—everyone but Hotch’s. Even before the ceremony started, his entire attention was on one of the bridesmaids: You.

You, on the other hand, were mesmerized by Savannah walking down the aisle in her gorgeous wedding dress—you smiled even bigger when she joined Derek at the altar.

“My god,” he said, staring into his soon-to-be wife’s eyes with a cheeky smile.

Only then you sensed a strong gaze on you. You subtly turned your head to the crowd and like a magnet you found Aaron’s eyes. You gave him a quick threatening glance before bringing your attention back to the couple. You could almost hear him chuckle under his breath from that far.

You’d talked about it when each of you got an invitation and he promised he would ignore you all evening, but it was hard keeping his eyes off you when you looked that stunning. That wouldn’t be a problem if one of Derek’s sisters wasn’t recording the wedding—oh, and if people knew about what you two had.

“Maybe we should bring a plus one,” you’d told him as an idea to keep the best profilers clueless.

You’ve been more than his friend for almost a year and no one suspected a thing—truly. Apparently, profiling never worked when it came to people you interact with daily. You both were experienced profilers too, and since the beginning, you knew well how to act around each other to trick everybody at work into thinking you were still just two normal co-workers that got along.

That’s how it was for over five years. Then it all changed when you both ended your respective relationships around the same time. Your breakup came first and was messier than his. He was there to catch your tears the same way you were all ears to him. You were lonely together and that woke up feelings neither of you thought would emerge from talking just a bit more than the usual. And one late-night kiss in his office was enough to start whatever you two had going on.

You’d been confused for a while about how you felt about him and took the initiative to take it forward. You apologized right away because you didn’t plan to kiss him. Ever. But he said nothing, kissed you back, and took you right there over his desk—the first and only time he allowed himself to lose his professionalism at work.

It was the most mind-blowing sex you’d ever had and you became addicted to it—to him.

The officiant started his speech and when Derek began to say his vows, you snapped out of your flashbacks, holding your flower bouquet tighter by impulse. Your stomach fluttered while his voice floated inside the intimate venue, and you could only imagine how Savannah was feeling. She brought her palm to her pregnant belly, keeping it there the entire time Morgan spoke his heart out. He was like a brother to you and the fact that he had found the one made you wonder who you were gonna have the chance to share vows with in a hopefully not-so-far future.

You slightly turned your head to the crowd again when it was Savannah’s turn, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Hotch, the only person you wanted a life with. The person you considered was the one for you.

God, if he only knew.

“ ...And I promise to love you, ” she said. “ Today. And tomorrow. And forever... ”

Every word resonated with how you felt about Aaron and your chest swelled as if she was a messenger of your own heart. You hadn’t told Aaron yet but loved him, you have for a while now, but if there was another feeling beyond love, you sure felt it. You’ve never been so close to grazing the sky like you did whenever he kissed you; electricity rushed through you whenever you two were in between the sheets; with him around, you turned into the most stupid (in love) person in the room and you were more than fine with it.

"... I'd choose you to be my miracle over and over again. In this world and in any other… ”

You finally dared to look at him, finding his eyes on you again. Now he was the one who threatened you, gesturing for you to pay attention by raising his brows. You didn’t react—externally, anyway. Your heart was clenching because you’d never had this urge before; to jump over everyone and let the world know he was your miracle. That was the best way to describe who he was to you since he offered to be more than just a shoulder to cry on. He’d made you believe in love again and showed you how broken hearts can mend each other—heal together.

You took a subtle deep breath and kept your chin up, determined to avoid any unspoken flirting with him until the ceremony got to the exchange of rings, ending with the most romantic kiss you’ve ever witnessed.

“Okay! That’s enough!” Penelope—one of the bridesmaids too—said jokingly and the happy cheering got quickly replaced with laughs. You allowed yourself to search for Aaron then, something you always did whenever something funny happened just to see him laugh. His dimples were in their glory showing how proud he was. He may have never said it out loud, but you knew how much Morgan meant to him.

And that was only the beginning of the big event. After the brief ceremony ended, it moved to another venue inside the same hotel and despite all the bright lights and loud music, love was still in the air. It even radiated through every photo taken at the photoshoot setup you and Spencer had built yourselves that same morning.

“Didn’t know you guys were this artistic,” Morgan grinned as he ran his hand over a wall full of pink and white roses.

“It actually doesn’t take an artistic person to build this exact wall at all. Even a toddler could’ve done it,” Reid said while nodding, giving him a tight-lipped smile.

“Don’t listen to him.” You nudged his arm. “It took us four hours to build it.”

“Oh, yeah,” Spencer agreed. “Four hours and thirteen minutes.”

“We appreciate the effort,” Savannah laughed. “Now can we please take the pictures? Baby is getting hungry.”

“Yeah, blame our baby,” Derek mocked her, placing his hand over her belly as he stood behind her, ready to pose in front of the professional camera. “I know you’ve been thinking about dinner all day.”

Savannah replied something between her teeth that made Derek laugh even more as they posed like the most attractive couple you’ve ever seen.

“They are so meant to be,” Penelope commented with the biggest smile, snapping her own pictures of them with her phone.

“I know.” You folded your arms over your chest with a proud smile that disappeared as soon as a familiar perfume enveloped you from behind, making your shoulders stiffen.

Although… that didn’t stop you from shifting your weight to one foot, a thing that made your curves stand out in a way you knew would only make Hotch react—more so when you were wearing that dress you’d picked with him in mind. His lips always ended up attached to your neck and shoulders. That part of you was his weakness and the day of the bridesmaids fitting, that was only one dress that made you think of his lips.

He cleared his voice as you expected to start making small talk with Rossi about Jack. You’ve always loved the way his voice became soft when he talked to or about his son. He’d told you how he wanted to bring Jack to the wedding but that he’d chosen to go to a friend’s sleepover—which was understandable. At his age, you would’ve picked your friends over your parent’s friend’s wedding too.

“Now pictures with your team.” Savannah smiled at Morgan. “You’re gonna want to see them when we’re old.”

“She’s right,” you popped in. “Come on guys, let’s all take turns to kiss Morgan’s cheek.”

“Mm-mm.” Derek furrowed his perfect brows, holding up a finger. “I’m a married man now.”

You stood next to him and pecked his cheek anyway before resting your head over his shoulder and pouting your lips in a fake-sad face.

“Spencer, you were so right,” you said loud enough for everybody to hear in between camera flashes.

“I know. About what? Exactly?”

“Today really should be a national day of mourning for all of us Derek lovers.”

“Oh, come on now.” Morgan swung his arms over yours and Penelope’s shoulder. “Just because I officially belong to my woman doesn’t mean you can’t love me anymore.”

“That’s true,” Savannah agreed.

You blew her a kiss that was sure caught on camera, then the messy BAU photoshoot started. Everyone traded places every three pictures, and in the last set you ended up in the middle of Emily and Hotch. There he went again, clearing his voice just to say nothing. He hesitated to place a hand on you, so you did him the favor and broke his awkwardness by wrapping your arm around his waist—and Emily’s too, of course.

“Is that a new perfume?” She sniffed next to your ear.

“It is,” you acted surprised, turning your head to her but clutching your hand against Hotch’s waist to get his attention—as if it wasn’t already on you. You’d sprayed some of the perfume he kept at your place and some of yours too over it, creating a whole new scent.

“I like it. It’s very… you.”

“Thanks.”

You could tell Aaron was trying hard to stay away from you as much as he could, leaning more to the opposite side. You did the same, pretending that Emily was the only person you were taking pictures with.

Then after the rest of the guests got pictures with the newlyweds too, the party began. The team had their own designated table. You took a short bathroom break before settling and when you came back, the only empty seat was next to Hotch.

There was no other choice, but you weren’t complaining.

Your dress lifted to your mid-thighs as you sat down and it got even higher when you crossed your legs, exposing your bare skin a lot more. Aaron shifted on his seat, bringing his clasped hands up attempting to cover his mouth.

He got so damn tense.

“What’s the menu?” You asked everyone, subtly moving your legs under the table to touch Hotch’s.

“You, apparently.” JJ raised her brows, gesturing behind you. “The photographer’s had his eyes on you all night.”

“What?” You asked with a soft laugh, genuinely clueless.

“Oh my god!” Penelope grabbed Jj’s arm in surprise. “I thought that was my imagination! He’s smoking hot.”

You turned your head and caught the guy pointing the camera at your table. He really was attractive, but Jj might have been exaggerating because he gave you the kindest smile.

“The alcohol is getting to your head already.” You rolled your eyes and scooted your chair closer to the table.

“I don’t blame him, though.” Emily eyed you up and down while whistling. Even Spencer took a good look at you. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more pictures of you in there than Savannah.”

“Well, he better take pictures of my good side if that’s the case,” you played along.

“Oh sweets, you don’t have a bad sid–” Three constant clinks of metal hitting a glass got everyone’s attention. “Quiet now.” Penelope shushed herself, getting her phone out again to record Derek’s sister’s speech. “Sarah’s gonna talk.”

Aaron subtly moved his leg under the table and kept his feet next to yours. Whenever you sat next to him at the round table—which wasn't often—his feet always found yours. It was his way of saying he wasn’t being cold towards you as he pretended to be. And you hoped that was a new way of showing he’d gotten a little jealous about the hot photographer.

You wanted to tease him about it, run your fingers through the back of his head and assure him you had eyes for him only. Because you did, more so when he'd chosen one of his navy blue and perfect-tailored suits that made it hard keeping your hands to yourself.

You took a quick glance at his usually furrowed brows before focusing on the fun stories family members had to tell. You had a permanent smile on your face during dinner as they talked about Savannah's childhood and teenage years. There was a lot you didn't know about her despite her becoming one of your closest friends.

Unlike Derek. You'd heard at least ten different versions of the same stories and you never got tired of it. And on a more serious note, his mom brought up his dad with pictures of him projected on a screen, reminding Derek how proud he truly must be for his son starting his own family.

Morgan being emotional has always got to you. You knew how much he wished his son could’ve had the chance to meet his grandfather, but the sad moments didn’t last long. The dessert brought the sweetness and soon, it was time to get to the dance floor.

You weren’t the greatest dancer, but you knew how to move so you were designated to keep the guests motivated to dance with the other. You took the chance to at least dance one song with everyone—including Hotch. You tried to keep things low-key as always, so you decided to walk up to him, choosing to dance with Rossi first.

“Wanna dance?” You stretched out your hand to him.

“Ehh...” David hesitated. “Maybe later. Take Aaron first.”

“Don’t be lazy, Rossi. Come on.” You played it cool, ignoring Aaron completely.

“I’ll sacrifice myself for you.” Hotch tapped David’s shoulder as he took the last sip of his drink and rose from his chair.

“Sacrifice yourse-?” You looked at Hotch with a frown then waved your hand dismissively mid-sentence, casually holding him by his arm and said to Rossi, “You can’t escape me, Dave.”

“If you find me,” he barked back and worked his way to the bar with his empty glass in his hand.

You shared a casual laugh with Aaron as your feet took you to the dance floor.

“Don’t make it awkward.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. Nothing special, just like you’d done with Spencer a few songs earlier. The only difference was that Spencer didn’t make you feel like the prettiest girl in the room.

“I’m not,” he chuckled next to your ear and kept his hand respectfully over your upper back while the other stayed just a little lower as if you were made out of glass.

There’d been two slow songs in a row and the DJ didn’t seem to have the intention to change the mood just yet. They even lowered the lights, creating a romantic ambiance. Or maybe that was just your imagination and the fact that you were actually in his arms with everyone around like you’ve always wanted.

“We’ve never danced before,” you murmured close to his ear trying to keep an unamused face. You prayed your voice got lost with the music so the people dancing around you couldn’t hear how you were trying to flirt with him.

“We haven’t.” He softened his voice too. “But we’ve done way more than that.”

There was a twitch of a smile threatening to take over your lips, but you didn’t let it slip. Instead, you took a deep breath and slowly let it out as you said, “We have.”

It was strange. You were used to having his hands on you behind closed doors; inside a room where the only noise was his heartbeat against your ear. But like you said, you weren’t about to make it awkward. You cherished the moment because this was probably the closest you’ll ever get to be with him in front of everyone without them saying a thing. So you stayed there, hands clasped behind his neck as if it meant nothing – as if they weren’t shaking; as if you weren’t dying to just grab his face, kiss him in the middle of the dance, and whisper I love you for the first time one breath away from his soft lips.

“You’re tense,” he murmured.

“So are you.” You smiled, finding Jj’s eyes over Aaron’s shoulder along the way.

You pretended the smile was because of her and made an uncomfortable face, gesturing at Hotch with wide eyes. She’d never said a thing to you, but you were afraid she might be the only one who could suspect something about you and Hotch.

You were casually texting Hotch who was only a few feet away from you in his office about the plans you two had for the night, and you didn’t notice Jj had walked up to you from behind. She scared the shit out of you and you suspiciously locked your phone.

" Hiding something ?" She raised her brows.

" Uh… it's a surprise ," you lied. Which she believed—or you hoped she did—since her birthday was coming soon.

You told Hotch about it and he reminded you to be more careful when you made it to his place later that night. And though you liked how things were with him, you couldn’t deny that type of coldness hurt a little too.

“Is that really my perfume?” He kept his voice quiet.

“I don’t know. Is it?”

He subtly breathed you in and you almost melted in his arms. “It’s sweeter on you.”

You caught the photographer shooting pictures of you and Aaron and you waited until he moved around to tell Hotch, “I– I booked us a room. I thought since you gave us off tomorrow we could enjoy this place a little more.”

“What am I supposed to do with that information?”

“811,” you said before the song ended.

Breaking that dance left you with an empty feeling. That’d never happened to you before – missing him while he was in the same room as you – but for whatever reason, that dance meant a lot to you.

You tried to fill in that hole by dancing with the girls though it didn’t work much. You took a break from dancing and made your way to a quiet lounge room in the open. The sky was clear and the soft breeze was the only one who kept you company as you finished your third glass of wine.

“Do you mind some company?” An unfamiliar voice said from behind.

“Jesus christ!” You brought your hand to your chest startled.

Maybe it was enough wine for the night.

You turned around and caught a charming smile and a camera hanging from his neck.

“Sorry,” the photographer laughed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, you’re fine,” You laughed too.

“I’m Louis.”

You shook his hand and introduced yourself too. It may have been the alcohol but the guy was really funny and got to make you laugh more than once. You would’ve kept having a good time if he hadn’t tried to be smart.

“So, would you like to grab a drink with me after the wedding?”

Of course, he was trying to get inside your panties. What a turn-off.

“Sorry, but I’m taken,” you said without hesitation.

You really weren’t, though.

“Oh,” he looked around. “Well, is he here?”

Speak of the devil.

A silhouette at the corner of your eyes stole your attention.

There was Aaron—and Morgan—walking to the lounge room too with drinks in their hands. You wondered who’s idea was it to come just when you were being hit on by some guy.

Derek teased you with his brows while there was nothing humorous on Aaron’s face. You focused on Louis again, but the smile on your face was because of Hotch. Jealous Hotch.

“No,” you finally responded, sighing deep. “But I don’t see how that matters. I’m still taken.”

“You’re right, you’re right.”

Nothing about Louis was interesting after you studied his behaviour and read his intentions. Still, you let him flirt with you—and definitely pretended to flirt back hoping Aaron would notice—until he excused himself to go back to his job.

You wiggled your fingers as a goodbye and slowly made your way to Morgan and Hotch, making your heels clack more than you had to.

“Someone took a special interest in you,” was the first thing Morgan said.

You stood in front of them, clasping your hands behind your back, and shrugged carelessly. “You think?”

"Princess, don’t act like you don’t know what you were doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Batting those eyelashes, laughing too much, touching his shoulder–”

“You think that was flirting?” you cut him off.

“It was to me.” Morgan looked at Hotch.

“Hotch?” You—subtly—taunted. “You think that was flirting?”

It wasn’t the first time someone has hit on you right in front of him, but police officers weren’t as much of a threat to him as a photographer was, apparently.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you flirt—” he confidently responded “—so I wouldn’t know.”

“I’ve seen her. She does this thing with her eyes,” Morgan kept going. “I’m telling you, Hotch, she was flirting.”

“That was bad flirting.” You rolled your eyes. “Which somehow still works with guys like him.”

“ Bad flirting? Well now I want to see your good flirting,” Derek continued, but his duties as a groom were needed and his name being called from the microphone saved you from that.

It was just you and Hotch now.

“Aren’t you afraid people are gonna see us, alone?” You stayed put on your feet, holding back the urge to get closer to him.

“Not really, we’re just talking.” He raised his brows as he spoke.

“We are.” Your eyes went to his lips and lingered there as you licked your own. “Party should be over soon, so… I’ll go back inside now. Are you coming?”

“In a little bit.” He gestured at his drink.

“Okay.” You took a step back. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

“811,” he responded, sliding one hand inside his pocket and saluting you with his glass with the other.

You subtly tugged your bottom lip in between your teeth and eyed him up and down. You knew exactly what you were doing, indeed. “811.”

“Is this what your good flirting looks like?” He asked in a teasing tone as you were about to turn around.

“I don’t know.” You matched his voice, tilting your head to the side. “I’m not very good at it.”

He gave you a look that pierced through you, but you didn’t expose yourself and left him all alone.

You impatiently counted heads once the guests started to leave and shared a few secret glances with Aaron the rest of the night, which built in the anticipation. But sooner than later, the party was finally over.

“Who’s leaving with us?” Emily massaged her temple.

You didn’t pay attention to who answered as you were searching for Hotch. At this point, you weren’t even trying to be subtle about missing him, but he’d vanished.

Or so you thought.

You made it to your room almost with your heart broken, but when you checked your phone, his name lit up on the screen.

I’m gonna walk around for a while.

He was being careful—as always.

The alcohol had worn off already, and you needed some more. You ordered a bottle of wine to the room to make the wait more bearable and paced back and forth around the room waiting for it until the expected knock on your door blared inside the bedroom.

You smoothed down your dress and slowly worked your way to the door, dragging it open.

Not room service.

Aaron's broad shadow was standing there, both hands in his pocket.

“Didn’t front desk give you a key?” You let him in.

He shut the door behind him and kept on walking, forcing you to take a few steps back as he said, “they did.”

“Then why did you knock?” You stopped in the middle of the room.

“To make it more interesting.”

“You’re funny,” you laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck the way you'd meant to do while you danced, staring up at him. “Did anyone see you?”

“No.” He delicately brushed his fingers across your cheek and placed a tender kiss on the other. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah.” You grabbed his tie to bring him closer and closed your eyes. “You?”

“This dress—” he murmured in your ear “—had me distracted the entire evening.”

“I knew you’d like me in it.”

He smirked as his lips traveled from your jaw to the corner of your mouth. Then he finally kissed you.

It was tender—too tender.

“It was made for you.” He ran his thumb over your bottom lip while murmuring against them.

“It was made for you to take it off,” you whispered and brought your hands to the back of his head, pressing your lips with his into the wet, desperate kiss you’ve been wanting all night.

His arms enveloped you entirely and his tongue didn’t hesitate to sweep yours. You’ve longed to have his rough touch melting into your skin for what seemed ages. It was always like that. After spending an entire day treating each other like any other mortal—when it was just the two of you—you both acted like two different people that had too many clothes. But it was more than that too.

To you, at least. And you liked to think that it was mutual.

“It’s always hard to keep my eyes and hands off you,” he said out of breath, letting the kiss rest. “But today—” he pecked your lips “—you almost made me want to risk it all.”

You returned the gentle kiss. “Why didn’t you?”

That was a heartfelt question that he’d rather let get lost in the desire.

His lips collided with yours again as his hands confidently sneaked under your dress, groping you with hunger. “God, I knew you were wearing the tiniest panties under it.”

“I chose these for you too.” You whimpered when he lifted his mouth to your neck and nibbled your skin.

“Not wedding appropriate at all,” he murmured in a playful tone while kissing your shoulder. He teased the strap of your dress with the tip of his tongue, lifting it off your skin and pulling it down your arm with his teeth. “Do you have to return it?”

“No,” you gasped. “It’s mine.”

“Good, because I’m gonna fuck you in it.” He scooped you by your thighs and plopped you on the bed, settling in between your legs. He trailed kisses from your mouth down your jaw and neck, getting rid of his jacket and tie in the process. “You should wear my perfume more often,” he panted onto the crook of your neck, nibbling your skin.

“Does it turn you on?” Your hands flew to tug on his hair. “Smelling yourself on me?”

With each of his kisses, your desire for him grew. Your heartbeat dropped to your pussy within seconds and it was nothing but ache and warm arousal leaking off you.

“Everything about you makes me hard.” He started to grind his hips while his lips went back to capture yours. “The things you do to me, can you feel it?”

You moaned into his mouth, wrapping your legs around his waist. His erection rubbed against you, nestling almost too perfectly in between your still clothed folds.

“Yeah.” You bucked your hips to meet his.

“Yeah?” He pulled back, breaking the desperate kiss.

This time you were only able to nod and lift your hips off the bed to help him get rid of your panties. He dragged them down your thighs teasingly slow and threw them in the air.

The hungry look in his eyes while he lowered himself and lifted your dress up to your waist sent sparkles all over you. Your bare flesh was exposed to him now and though it was fascinating how he seemed to be at your will when you were that weak in front of him, you couldn’t deny how intimidating it was.

“I need you so bad.” You bent your legs up to your chest, tempting him with how wet you were.

He petted your sensitive clit with his thumb twice with a cocky smile before making himself comfortable by rolling up his sleeves and laying on his stomach so his arms would wrap around your thighs. His face now was one kiss away from your slick folds.

That embarrassed you in the beginning—how fucking wet he made you and how fast—but that only meant how much you wanted him, and you knew he loved the effect he had on you.

“How much do you want to come?” He kissed your inner thighs, digging his fingers on them too.

“Surprise me.” You relaxed your arms above your head, ready to receive whatever he wanted.

He ghosted a smile over you before circling the tip of his nose on your clit. You were so sensitive there already your body jerked a little at that first contact. His nose then was replaced with his chin, tracing rougher circles, and when he laid a light-feather kiss right there , you decided to close your eyes and enjoy the endless minutes of pleasure Aaron was about to give you.

There was no doubt he truly enjoyed being nose deep in between your legs, so you never felt bad when it was just him who used his mouth like that during sex.

“ That feels so good, ” you praised him, bringing your hand to his hair and running your fingers through it.

He hummed in response, sucking your clit into his mouth with light pressure and smoothly adding two fingers inside of you.

You rolled your hips against his face and in no time stars took over your eyes.

“Oh my g– mmm.” You pressed your lips together to shut yourself up because, shit, you were being embarrassingly loud and you didn’t want to let everyone know how good you were being fucked by Aaron’s mouth.

“I’ve been waiting all day to hear you moan.” He kept going with his skilled motions . “Let me hear you.”

His pleas were powerful and you couldn’t avoid letting yourself go. You moaned—loud—and smiled through it all because he deserved to know how good he made you feel; how good he was to you; how generous.

After that one, he went in—all in.

God, Aaron.

Fuck.

Just like that.

Please don’t stop.

Your mouth went dry from how much you praised him and gasped in pleasure. His mouth was exquisite. Every flick of his tongue and each sloppy sound he made brought you closer and closer to the—

Knock. Knock. Knock.

—Clouds.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You were snapped out of what was supposed to be your fourth orgasm, propping yourself on your elbows.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Fuck,” you threw yourself back down in annoyance. “I ordered that like half an hour ago.”

“That what?” Aaron said and went back to eat you out.

“ Mmh, wine.”

“More wine?” He reached for the closest piece of clothing and wiped his mouth, chin and fingers with them.

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll be right back.”

He took a moment to adjust his erection inside his pants and worked his way to receive the wine.

“Thanks.”

The way he just casually said that got a laugh from you.

“What?” He placed the wine and two glasses over the night stand.

“Do you think he could tell what you were doing just now?” you laughed again, propping your knee up and playing with the hem of your dress.

“I hope he did.” He crawled in bed next to you and smiled into a kiss, sneaking his hand in between your legs.

He started to massage your clit right away. It felt good, but you needed him. “Hotch, just fuck me already.”

“Give me one more.” He grunted mid-sentence. “One more and then I’m all yours.”

How could you ever say no to that?

He rubbed your clit like he was against the clock, so fast and with the perfect amount of pressure.

There was that pleasure building once again.

Your sweet moans bounced within the room as the tingling sensations spread through you.

"Fuck, Hotch I—" you fisted the bed covers under you and turned your head to him searching for his eyes.

"I know, honey , I know." He had his eyes shut and brushed his nose across your cheek, subtly hissing under his breath as if he was in pain.

That word only slipped when he was pleasing you. You reached for his hand while you came, clenching and unclenching around his fingers.

You swept your tongue across his top lip to thank him with a desperate kiss. You hadn’t noticed how he had his eyes shut and his brows furrowed. You kept your eyes open to admire how much he was enjoying it and let your voice be free.

“There we go,” he whispered. “Good. So, so good.”

“It feels so good,” you whimpered.

“I know it does.” He kept lightly tapping your sensitive clit making your body jerk a few times. “Feels so good for me too.”

“Fuck. Please?” You begged.

He brought his milked fingers up to your mouth and slid them in and out so you’d clean them up, and pecked your cheek as if saying yes, now.

You clasped your mouths together and stood on your knees to help him get rid of his clothes between more desperate kisses. Your fingers shook as you undid his belt, and when all of his clothes ended up scattered over the floor, you lay on your back.

He adjusted himself in between your legs and slapped the head of his cock over your clit a few times while pinching your nipples, turning them into tight tempting buds.

“Fill me in, please,” you bit your lip, roaming your hands up and down over his forearms and biceps.

He reached for his pants and got a condom from his pocket. Your first time with him was the only time you took him raw, and you had to admit you wanted his bare skin rubbing inside of you again.

You stayed quiet while he tore the foil open and rolled it down his length, then without much warning, Hotch grabbed you by your hips and harshly flipped you around, angling your ass up in full display for him. You gasped between a small startled laugh, your cheek pressed onto the pillow.

It wasn’t often that he allowed himself to be this harsh with you, but when he did you knew you were about to be sent out of the orbit.

“Sorry about that,” he said in a cocky, deep voice that only got a moan from you in a positive response.

One hand circled your ass while the other guided his cock at your entrance, slipping it in just a bit. You wiggled your ass and continued what he started, letting him inside you inch by slow inch.

He groaned like a god and slid your dress up to your ribs, almost, but you didn’t want it off just yet. Like he said, you were waiting for him to fuck you in it. He withdrew his hips a bit to plunge hard into you again, making your ass bounce violently.

Then began to pound into you—hard.

You reached for his forearm and held onto it, glancing at him over your shoulder but your own smile distracted you mid way through.

There was a mirror perfectly placed by the bed, giving you the breathtaking view of Aaron slamming his body into yours from behind. It was mesmerizing—the way he threw his head back and licked his lips while gripping your hips until his fingertips disappeared into your skin.

You made eye contact with yourself, bringing your hand up to your mouth and caught your own moans against your palm, dissolving in the moment. The curves of his cock fit you everywhere and reached your spot with each of his loud thrusts.

“ Oh shit, oh fuck. ” You muffled your moans into a pillow, squeezing your eyes shut.

That’s never been one of your preferred positions. He went too deep and it’d hurt at times, but it hurt so damn good you arched your back even more and let yourself drown in the way he dug himself in you.

“ So fucking good. ” You smiled, “ fuck, fuck ,fuck .”

By the time your skin was glowing red by how hard his skin slammed against yours, you stood up on your knees and pressed your back onto his chest, turning your head asking for a kiss. He gave you his tongue while his hands reached for the hem of your dress, pulling it up and finally peeling it off your skin in the middle of softer thrusts.

He pulled you close and kept plunging into you until his breathings grew loud, his muscles tensed and his cock twitched inside of you, groaning deep at the back of your head. He wrapped his arms around you like his life depended on it—with a kind of passion that could’ve easily been mistaken with love.

You turned your head searching for his lips and return that same passion, but he circled his nose with yours and ghosted your lips with his breath.

A tender frown took over his face while his eyes scanned your face from up close. There was a glimpse of vulnerability in him right then. You couldn’t quite read what it meant, but it weakened you on the inside.

“God, look at you.” He smiled, and finished with one last soft kiss.

You both dropped like dead weight on the bed facing each other, legs and arms interlaced together.

It was still there—that look. You could almost see right through him.

He took a moment to toss the condom into the trash then joined you in bed again, bringing you close into a hug.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I know you want to be home when Jack gets back.”

“I’d love to stay.” He kissed you. “But yeah, tomorrow we have early soccer practice.”

You returned the kiss while nodding and brought your hand up to stroke his cheek. It was soft and cold with sweat which you kindly brushed away with your thumb.

If someone asked you two years ago if you ever imagined yourself like this—with an after-sex glow—because of Aaron Hotchner, you would’ve bursted out laughing. You still couldn’t understand how you ended up finding the love you always wanted in someone you’d known for half a decade.

Sometimes, all those years where nothing more than a polite handshake and respectful hugs happened felt like a waste of time. Other times, you convinced yourself it was meant to happen that way.

You stared at each other in silence and just the sound of the city in the background.

“Did you get jealous tonight?” You spoke after a moment, tracing random patterns over his chest.

His brows raised, thinking about it. “I might’ve.”

“I kinda’ liked it.”

“I bet you did.” He pecked your lips almost to erase your mocking smile.

“It suits you. The jealousy.”

“Well, it’s not a very nice feeling.”

“But it’s hot.”

“Oh?” He licked his lips. “You think I’m hot?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I think you did.” He kissed your ear.

You let him pepper you with kisses. Kisses that felt like home. Kisses that made you want to break the stupid wall you both had built and just confess how much you loved him; how you wanted those kisses all over your skin for the rest of your life.

“Hotch?” Your voice came out small as if anyone else could hear you.

“Mmh?” He groaned into another kiss.

“I– I think I–” I think I love you. “I think I’m gonna go home too.”

“You sure?” He pulled back and frowned with curiosity.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll call us a cab.”

“Okay. I’m gonna shower first.”

“Care if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

You ended up doing way more than just showering together, though.

There was a large window in front of a spacious jacuzzi that let in the shimmering city lights. You didn’t even know you’d booked such a fancy hotel room. It was the perfect place to drink that expensive bottle of wine.

You both relaxed in the tub, drinking off the bottle between slightly drunk laughs.

Time with Hotch went by too fast, and if you hadn’t spilled the last drops of the wine in the bath you would've stayed there until the morning.

“Now you can call your taxi friend.” You wiped a happy tear from the corner of your eye, wrapping yourself in a towel.

You walked back to the room and searched for your dress. It’d landed over his jacket as if they were two matching pieces made by the same tailor.

You handed him his clothes and dressed together, stealing glances. You really wanted to stay the night with him. You almost provoked him with the dress so you both ended up in bed again, but you kept your cool and made it out of the room.

You were waiting for the elevator when someone came out of the room right next to it.

Oh no.

“What’s going on here?” Morgan’s eyes widened as he made a little gesture between you and Hotch with his pointer finger.

“I– uh…” You looked up at Aaron. He was just as flustered as you, and the alcohol in your blood didn’t help much. “We uh–”

It took Derek three seconds to put two and two together.

“Please don’t tell me it was you who had that moaning symphony going on.”

“W–what?” Your face was burning right now.

“Hotch? Really?” Morgan seemed more hurt than anything else. He was your best friend after all.

“I’ll explain it to you when you get back from your honeymoon.” You reached for Aaron’s hand and walked away as fast as you could without looking back while saying loudly, “Have fun in Cancún!”

You hurried through the hotel hallways, paid the room and hopped in the back of the taxi without saying a word to each other. If you hadn’t booked a room at the same hotel, Morgan would’ve never found out and your most precious relationship would’ve still been a secret.

The ride was quiet, but Aaron never let go of your hand. At least, he wasn’t mad about it. Or if he was, he didn’t want you to know. You felt guilty about it, but it felt so good too. You stayed looking out the window to avoid looking at him.

Fifteen minutes later, he broke the silence.

“Hey.” You turned your head to him and stared for the longest second before he spoke again, “I love you. Secret’s out. And I don’t want to hide us anymore. There’s no reason to.”

Your heart started to race so fast inside your chest you couldn’t form any coherent words.

“We’re here.” The driver glanced at you both through the rearview mirror.

You were still trying to process what the love of your life had just said.

“Hey, love birds, I ain’t got all night. It’s thirty bucks and counting,” the man spoke again.

“Do you want to come inside? So that I can show you how much I love you too?” Was all you could say as you reached inside your purse to shut the driver up.

But he didn’t. “Tik tok, tik tok, my friends.”

“I–” Aaron sucked in a short breath, reaching for his wallet faster than you and handing the man his money. “I think that’s a good idea.”

#Aaron Hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner fluff

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wonustars · 6 months

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𝘚𝘦𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘭 ’𝘴 𝘓𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 (𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘳)

“��𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴. 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶” - 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘦’𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘩

story inspirtation came from this poll pairing: c.sc x reader word count: estimated ~10k+ (this teaser: 983 words)

genre: friends to friends with benefits to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut (mdni)

summary: You and Seungcheol have been friends ever since you were kids. Growing up as neighbours, experiencing all the horrific adolescent moments in high school, and now going to the same University together. Even though you’ve denied it many times to your friends, part of you has always had feelings for him, not that you would ever say it out loud. He is the one person you can trust with anything and everything. So what happens when he propositions the idea of becoming friends with benefits? (the plot maybe change a little while i’m continuing to write but the overall theme will stay the same <;3)

tags: bestfriend!seungcheol, nonidol!au, university!au, female!reader, mutual pining, slow burn so painful you'll feel it in your toes, they are one year apart, SLIGHT like extremely miniscule wonwoo x reader (for the angst mwahahaha), seungcheol is a jealous jealous man, they're both idiots, jeonghan is a menace as always, seungcheol has a lot of pride, so does the reader, (i'll add more once its finished lol)

warnings/smut: this will be added on in the full post.

taglist: open! send an ask, dm, or comment to be tagged for when i post the full fic.

notes: long time no post everyone.... a LOT of people voted for an s.coups story on my poll so i'm here to deliver mwahahahaha...ALSO im so proud of the banner i made like udek i love how it looks hehhehe, i spent a good hour or so on it T-T ! i really have an urge to write a longer story, so idk when i'll be finished because it may take me a while to finish so sorry in advance. I just started writing and I was playing Mikee's Letters by Just Hush during it and so i thought id incorperate the song into the story, but barely lol (its a tagalog song so sorry if the translation is a lil rough my tagalog is not the most accurate). this story is SOOOOOO self indulgnet that it should be criminal lol BUT im really excited to write this and im really excited to share it with everyone,,, but first i actually got to finish it hehe. talk to u soon, mwah <3!

As long as you could remember you and Seungcheol have been attached to the hip. Even though he was a year older than you, you couldn’t remember the last time you spent a day without him. You’ve been in each others lives ever since then, starting all the way from the young, bright age of 5, when you and your family moved into the small, humble house across his. Although your parents weren’t very well off, Cheol was. It was an odd thing that you two were neighbours because his house was much more grand, and nicer kept than yours. This didn’t really bother you growing up though, he always made you feel like an equal.

Seungcheol has been with you through it all, the petty fights in middle school to the pains of adolescence in high school. He’s seen you at your worst, like the time you tripped and fell trying to impress a cute guy at school, which resulted in a nose bleed. You were so embarrassed but at the end of the day Cheol was there to help you clean your bloody nose and pick you back up. A true night and shining armor, which was practically his brand. He was the one to patch up your heart, breakup after breakup. Always your shoulder to lean on when you’re feeling down, and especially when you’re happy.

A man and bestfriend like Choi Seungcheol didn’t come around very often, and you took notice of that since you were young. You cherish every moment you have and will have with him. He is a true gentleman with a heart of gold. He’s handsome, smart, rich and caring. Every single box on your list is ticked off when it comes to him. Yet, you know that no matter how hard you love him, you will only ever be his bestfriend. The girl he sees as practically his younger sister. The bittersweet feeling of being so close to him tugs your heart till its torn. It took you a long time to accept that all you’ll ever be is his bestfriend, and even now, you’re still trying to accept this fact.

...

Seungcheol has always seen himself as your best friend. The man that will be there for you when you have no one else to turn to. He has never seen you as more than his best friend, his y/n. He is a man who never second-guesses himself, always keeping a strong-willed sense of mind. Every time one of his friends asked him if he had feelings for you, he would simply answer no; and that you were like a younger sister to him.

That first year was lonely for him, he didn’t really know anyone and all his classes kept him away from socializing. The only thing that seemed to have stayed constant was you. You face-timed him at least once a week before he went to bed, never forgetting to remind him how much you missed him, and how much you cared for him. In the simplest words, you were his rock for that first year.

Seungcheol was never warned about how lonely and jarring your first year could be. The change in place, people, and most importantly the change in the fact that you weren’t there experiencing it beside him. He was never one to believe clichè sayings, but he finally understood what the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” really felt like. He had gotten so overwhelmed from the loneliness he even began to write you letters, ones he would never actually send out, as cheesy as it sounds. But knowing that he was addressing them to you brought him some type of solace in that first year.

A year later you came to study at the same university, and he was elated, to say the least. Finally, he had thought to himself. The one person he hadn’t been able to see, smell, or touch for a year was finally going to be in his proximity.

Unlike Cheol, you were only able to go to this school through bursaries and scholarships, your parents simply just couldn’t afford to send you to school in a different city otherwise. It reminded you how lucky Seungcheol was to receive support from his parents, getting and going to school was nothing he had to ever think twice about. You knew you could’ve stayed with your family, and gone to school closer to your house, but with Cheol away, it just wasn’t the same. Nothing had felt the same since he left. But this didn’t matter to you the moment you felt his arms wrap around you again.

You stood there in the airport all alone, eyes searching for a head of freshly dyed blond hair. The moment you heard his voice call your name, you knew you were finally home.

“Y/n!” An excited, deep voice calls out for you.

You whip your head around to see him. The man you hadn’t seen in so long, the man you were so desperately in love with. Your best friend.

“Cheol!” A squeal escapes your lips, you run to him. He pulls you into a tight hug, wrapping his large hands around your smaller frame. Swinging you around like crazy, a laugh bubbles up from your throat.

“I’ve missed you so much y/n.” Cheol exasperates as he hugs you tighter, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.

“I’ve missed you too Cheol…” You whisper into his chest, breathing in his expensive cologne, not caring that you are in public; staying there to embrace him for a weirdly long period of time. “Never leave for that long again.”

#seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #scoups #seungcheol #choi seungcheol #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seungcheol fluff #scoups fluff #scoups angst #seungcheol angst #seventeen angst #wonustars ✧ ﾟ. {works}#wonustars ✧.* {fics: seungcheol’s letters}

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smallchaoscryptid · 5 months

Note

wait okay... you offered qsmp fic recs I LOVE FIC RECS.... please please please please please (<- guy who does not have a lot of time for looking for good fics on ao3 and loves to hear about what media his mutuals like)

okay this is going to be long and it took me so long to make so it will be under a read more and organized by ship and word count and each fic should be linked (also a promo for all my fics on ao3 which is also under the username smallchaoscryptid)

Misc Recs:

Under 1k:

Andrea Doria by White space (Blanc_u) it's like a character study of roier and his dealing with pepito and its relation to his pants (very good almost made me cry)

1k to 10k:

danse macabre by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) bolas dancing together (just a really fun fic to read)

confiança by atthebell forever comforting cellbit after the black shulker investigation (this fic lives in my brain because atthebell just writes 4bit so well)

Estoy Lista by WhyB cellbit invites jaiden to live in his castle with him and roier (god this fic makes me think about what would have happen if jaiden and roier would have actually kept talking reguarly without bobby)

dead tired by notsubtleatall (orphan_account) roier makes cellbit go to sleep (god i love this fic so much)

Spiderbit Recs:

Under 1k:

napping is better with two by FlowerBox sleepy catbit with roier (really cute)

1k to 10k:

Feather-Light by BecausePlot cellbit crawling into bed to sleep with roier (really cute)

i'm scum, i'm waste (i'm what you want) by songbirdscoo sick cellbit that takes place after spiderbit has a breakup and richas finds roier to take care of sick cellbit (this one is so fucking good its a bit angsty bc of the breakup but its so good)

not quite but we're almost there by atthebell spiderbit takes a walk that is totally not a date (this one is so good and so soft)

The Red Means I Love You!! by Anonymous roier accidentally gets caught in the middle of a ritual cellbit was doing (this fic was so good it took me a bit to realize what was wrong with roier and then once i did i reread the fic and was shaking him violently this fic and its sequal are litterally so good)

that's the deal, my dear by Mitos (SeriouslyCalamitous) cellbit gets turned into a cat and finds roier (this fic is litterally so cute and i love it so much)

Drown With Me by doodooagentg jaiden makes cellbit take care of roier after cellbit had killed abueloier and roier is still angry about abueloier's death (this has such its quiet uptown vibes its insane and ive reread this fic so many times because roiers anger is so acurate here and the ending is just so ahhhhhh)

Helping a friend out by cherryplotting roier helps cellbit solve a puzzle and cellbit gets a kiss (FUCK, THIS HAS A SECOND CHAPTER NOW had to read that before i post this second chapter is also so good)

Over 10k:

It’s Just Some Little Thing by CurrentlyWorry enimies to lovers au where bobby and richas are friends but spiderbit ends up hating eachother for a little bit (god this one was so good its 171k and i read it in two days and am thinking about reading it again)

Breaking Dawn by Anonymous cellbit is a monster hunter looking into werewolves and meets a guy who turns out to know a lot about werewolves (this fic is unfinished as of right now but is so good and i cant stop rereading it)

those of flowering hearts and wilting souls by yourfauxentropy beauty and the beast au with a twist (this one is so good there was a point where i thought this fic wasnt going to have a happy ending but it still had such a grip on me)

your palms; a home for my soul by mars_revived roiers heart is shattered in to peices and he shouldnt be able to love ever again but he meets cellbit who might be able to help him (i need to read this one again its so good and like how subitally the author has them fall in love has me insane)

mystical time, cuttin' me open then healin' me fine by foolich (enhypen) festa junia timeloop!!! festa junia timeloop!!! festa junia timeloop!!!festa junia timeloop!!! (i love this one so much because the author was so good of messing with the readers feelings with the timeloop)

interstellar by mirotic_chess cellbit gets trapped on a distant planet after he crashes on it and is luckily helped out by one of the inhabitants (god the ending of this fic makes me so!!!)

Estoy Lista by WhyB by de4thveins roier sneaks away from his princely duties to gawk at cellbit

Fitpac Recs:

1k to 10k:

Promise? by TastyToast takes place during the happy pills arc pac runs away and fit finds him and comforts him

Trust Me? by AelinCreativ another happy pills arc fic but its what happened if fit would have been there for pac when it happened (probably my favorite one of these type fics)

Beyond the Haze by Mitos (SeriouslyCalamitous) happy pills arc but fit is there for pac the entire time (this one is also really good)

#Williams whispers #fic recs #i did my own summaries because otherwise this would be so much longer

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twisted-tales-of-all · 5 months

Text

Frauds and Festivities

Summary: You and your boyfriend have been drifting away for the past couple of weeks. It's god-awful timing though, as the planned holiday trip with your friend creeps around the corner. After deciding to stick it out through the holidays, you manage to get on each other's nerves more than ever before, but you must find a way to keep up the act. Pairing: Jongho x afab!Reader Genre: angst, smut, one-shot, collab Tropes: established relationship, break-up fic, forced proximity/only one bed, loveless lust, lovers to FWBs, falling out of love Word Count: 5.3K Contains: cursing, alcohol, some discussion of difficult emotions, pet names (babe, baby, sir, good girl), teasing, (very slight) predator/prey dynamic, switch!Jongho, switch!reader, thigh riding, praise, marking, biting, hair pulling, choking, rough sex, unprotected sex, clit play, breast/nipple play, overstimulation, creampie, begging, handjob, blowjob A/N: Welcome to Our second submission to the 16 Days of Smutmas! Please be sure to check out all the other works in the masterlist, as it's such an amazing collection of writers <3 (also this one isn’t as thoroughly edited as usual, so apologies for any mistakes!)

"I can't keep doing this!" Pushing back your chair, you scream.

You break the awkward silence at dinner, finally sick of acting like you and your boyfriend have been perfectly fine these past few weeks. How can you be in a relationship if the time between you is in a tense silence for more than half the time? Not to mention the fact that you fight whenever you do speak, sometimes over the most minimal things.

As your boyfriend continues eating and ignoring you, you continue, "How can you act like everything is fine? This isn't normal! We actually used enjoy each other's presence, you know?! Say something, for fuck's sake!"

Jongho slowly looks up at you. He finishes chewing before calmly speaking, "There's no way we can break up yet. We both put money towards the trip next week, and it's non-refundable. Unless you pay me for my portion, I'm still going. And I doubt you'll waste your money by dropping out either."

"Shit." You plop back into your chair as you realize his point.

You can't ruin the mood of the trip by breaking up, not when everyone is going with their respective partners. And he's right, you're both too stubborn to lose money by dropping out or paying the other to stay home.

"How are we going to do this then?"

With a shrug, Jongho replies, "I'm always well composed, and it can't be that hard to act like we still love each other. We loved each other for over two years now, so we know how it should work. As long as you stay composed when the others are around, we should be fine."

Fuming at his insistence that you're solely at fault, you bite back, "Then don't push buttons. I'm fine as long as you don't tick me off. Let's not meet up again until the day we leave for the trip, so we have some peace and quiet before it."

Agreeing with your plan, Jongho returns to finishing his dinner in silence. You clean up your plate and head to your room, asking your boyfriend to clean up his plate and see himself out whenever he finishes eating. You sit on the edge of your bed, silently reading your webcomics and listening to the sounds of dishes clinking in the kitchen sink. As you hear your front door close, you let out a sigh and throw yourself back against the plush bedding.

"We just have to pretend to still love each other." You say it in a way that reeks of desperation, as if trying to convince yourself that it won't be too hard.

In reality, you probably fell out of love with Jongho last month. Nothing happened to cause it - nothing you can pinpoint, at least - but you both felt it so clearly. There's no way of even knowing who lost feelings first; it happened around the same time. People always preach that there's no such thing as a mutual breakup, but this has to be the closest thing to it, right? Granted, you aren't exactly broken up yet, so it can't count when things might change.

Your week passes far too quickly. The calm, quiet week places you in such a good mood, but you remember that you'll be acting for the next four days, so you have to pack and mentally prepare yourself for the journey. To make things more believable, Jongho suggests driving up to the lodge together. Although you'd rather not, putting on a convincing act from the start takes precedence over your feelings.

When he pulls up to your house, he doesn't bother getting out to greet you. With a honk, you know he's arrived. He pops the trunk from the inside, letting you load your luggage yourself. As you climb into the passenger's seat, the radio greets you with some of his favorite tunes. Thankfully, you still enjoy the same music, otherwise you'd be annoyed before having to start your act. The drive up into the mountains takes a couple of hours, and you ignore each other the whole time, both desperately trying to extend the peace from the week.

As Jongho pulls into the parking lot, he finally speaks to you, "Are we ready? How deep are we playing it?"

"Won't it be better for everyone if we keep it simple? Maybe a couple pet name calls and minimal PDA when it's expected? That way, they won't be too shocked when we break up after this, since the love was fading even on the trip."

"That sounds good to me. I'd rather not do more than I have to, so that works."

He gets out of the car, and the act begins. Despite still having to walk over to the cabin, he helps unload all the bags. You follow his lead by playfully leaning into him as you thank him for his help. He locks the car, and you walk together to the cabin where your friends await. You don't even reach the entrance before hearing your best friend excitedly call out to you.

"Y/N! Jongho!" She flings the door open and rushes over to you, grabbing hold of one of the bags in your hands, "Here, lemme help with that."

You can already recognize the effects of alcohol on her - her cheeks flushed, her breath tainted, and her energy spiked to its peak. However, she keeps her balance well, and she isn't slurring her words, so you guess that she's only had a couple of drinks so far.

As you enter the holiday home, everyone else greets you and your boyfriend from their positions in the room. After greeting everyone and some basic small talk about the drive, Jongho dismisses you both to set your luggage in your bedroom. When he asks which room to go to, the whole group answers with a few seconds of silence.

"About that..." Mingi begins as he nervously scratches the back of his head and avoids Jongho's gaze.

"We better have rooms. This was booked so long ago; there's no way it was fucked up."

"Don't worry, there's a room for you. It's just that this cabin only three bedrooms in the main house. You guys were the last to get here, so the only room left is in the guest house outside."

Before Jongho erupts, San comments, "It's a full unit, so it's better in some ways! Personal little kitchen, personal bathroom, and all the privacy you could ask for! All you have to do is take a short walk outside - it's not even a full minute walk, so it shouldn't be too bad."

To everyone's surprise, Jongho simply shrugs before grabbing his bags and heading through the house to the back door. You follow a few steps behind, trying to catch up. As you reach the guest home, you find it nicer than you expected. San was right; this might just be better.

He unpacks a few items before heading back to the party, leaving you alone in the guest house.

"So much for being a couple, I guess." You retort while putting your bags on the opposite side of the bed.

Although there's only one bed, it's big enough that it shouldn't bug you to share with him. You only take a little bit of time in the room before meeting with the group again. Before saying a word to anybody, you pour yourself a drink, mixing a fun alcoholic drink to ease your stress about the situation. You drink some of it before joining the crowd and put on a smile as you reach them, listening in to the active conversation without adding much input. As much as you enjoy the time with your friends, the stress of keeping up your facade keeps itching at the back of your mind.

As the first night passes with drunken talk and playing catch up with everyone's lives, you and Jongho don't have much to do with each other. The groups split into the girls and the boys naturally, and only a couple of quickly fleeting conversations even mention the two of you. Thanks to the alcohol, the topics change on a dime, and you end the night by retiring to the guest house without any issues.

As the door shuts behind you, you mumble, "Only three more days. It can't be that bad."

"Don't hate me too bad; there's still only the one bed."

Jumping from the shock of hearing Jongho's voice, you walk towards the bedroom to continue the conversation, "You say that as if we have to keep up the act in here. Just choose a side and stay on it. I'll do the same."

"Awe, we aren't keeping up the act? How boring." His voice is riddled with sarcasm, and he sits down on one side of the bed with a distinct lack of care.

You roll your eyes as you dig through your suitcase for a set of pajamas. You announce that you're going to shower before bed and walk into the bathroom. While you shower, you let your mind wander back through your memories with him. They were mostly good, and it makes your heart sting. You try to figure out when everything shifted or why you fell out of love with each other, and you end up staying in the shower longer than planned because of it.

When you walk back into the bedroom, the atmosphere has completely changed. The disgust and anger shifted, and you're now greeted by somberness. As you sit on the bed, Jongho breaks the silence and admits to thinking of similar things.

"Why'd we stop loving each other? What happened?"

"You were reliving the past, too, huh?"

Turning to look at each other, your eyes meet a reddened pair staring sadly back at you. He had been crying while you were in the shower. With another pang in your chest, you also feel the pain welling up in your throat.

"We weren't bad to each other. Why did we have to fall out of love? That's some sick and twisted joke by fate." The strain in his chest appears through the cracks in his voice and the overall angry tone.

"It's too bad we can't change it. We don't know how it happened, but I don't think we can just love each other again. We stopped being good to each other because of it, so we kept falling further apart."

"Yeah, you're right. It just... sucks."

The air remains thick until you both fall asleep, and neither of you even hints at the conversation as morning arrives. You walk into the main house together, linking hands as you enter the door and see the other couples clinging to one another. With some of them, they don't even try to hide what the alcohol and bed-sharing resulted in, their after-sex glow far too clear in your eyes. Jongho must notice too, as his grip on your hand tenses when the others get lovey-dovey in front of him.

"How was your night, guys?" One of the bubbly girls jumps in front of you to ask, prodding you with a suggestive tone painting her words, "Did you sleep well together? Enjoy the shared bed?"

Putting on a happier tone than you expected, Jongho responds, "The bed was super soft! Especially with the alcohol in my system, I fell asleep super fast. I think Y/N was the same way. Right, babe?"

After you smile and nod, she understands that you guys didn't take part in the same events behind closed doors. She lowers her energy a bit in a belated attempt to hide the glow, "Oh, that sounds great! I'm glad you got lots of sleep. It'll help with the events today - they can be draining, for sure."

"Oh right, we're hitting the slopes today. I nearly forgot!" You exclaim, "When are we heading over?"

"Mingi and Daisy are making everyone breakfast, so we'll head over a bit after we eat, if you guys are okay with that."

You both confirm, and she goes to check how much longer the food will take, leaving you and Jongho momentarily alone in the living room. Sitting down together on the couch, you stop holding hands. Jongho rubs his palm on his pants to remove the sweat before placing it on your thigh to keep up the act.

You type up a quick note on your phone, joking about how he's doing more than you expected and must still love you. You lean into him as you show him, but he scoffs at it, rolling his eyes and muttering that you're ridiculous under his breath in case anyone walks in.

"Alright, lovebirds, come eat! Food's ready!" Daisy announces as she and her boyfriend carry the plates of freshly cooked food to the dining table. As everyone gathers there, they begin showering the couple with compliments about how good the food looks and smells. The breakfast is calmer than expected as everyone focuses on eating, and everyone quickly breaks off into their rooms after finishing up to prepare for the trip to the lift.

For a group of your size, you need two trips to get up to the lift via the snowmobiles provided. You and Jongho get paired with Yeosang and Krys for the second trip, so the ride isn't too bad. Your best friend jokes about how the lift is a cute spot for a proposal since it'll just be the couple, but Yeosang asks who she thinks is planning to get engaged. Krys pouts about his reaction, obviously hoping for a proposal on this trip.

"Come on, Yeosang. You guys have been together forever now. You still aren't getting married yet?" You poke at him to help your friend.

"You act like you and Jongho haven't been together nearly the same time as us. Three years isn't that long, and you're only a few months behind us. Are you planning for an engagement yet?"

You can feel Jongho's frustration at you for commenting as if he'd known it would backfire. As his grip on your hand tightens through the gloves, he silently threatens you to say something fitting.

"No, we aren't even living together though. You've gone through two years of living together. You're years ahead of us, in that respect."

Unable to come up with a comeback, Yeosang sits in silence for the rest of the rife. Krys smiles and quietly thanks you for jumping in.

As you reach the destination, you see Mingi and Daisy jump onto the ever-moving ski lift, decked out in their gear. Neither you nor Jongho are big skiers, so you rent out snowboards instead. Yeosang jokes that you should've gotten a couple's sled instead, but you both ignore him as you put on the gear. Krys pushes her boyfriend to the lift as they finish, waving goodbye to you.

"See you both later! Have fun!"

Left alone with Jongho again, you take your time as you get ready but still finish before him. Looking over, you notice his hands shaking.

"You okay, Jongho? You're shaking."

"You're really riding the edge, aren't you? Did you even think before jumping into their little spat?"

Shocked that he's still upset about it, you scoff, "No way you're so upset about that to be shaking. I even made up for my mistake pretty well."

"Yeah, through a stroke of good luck. But why put yourself into the position in the first place? Come on, Y/N, think a little!"

At this point, you're pretty close together, yelling into each other's faces. Mingi skis past, stopping himself and turning back to the two of you to ask why you aren't heading up already. Thinking quickly, Jongho grabs your collar and pulls you in for a kiss as if he didn't hear his friend. As Daisy joins, she coos about how cute Jongho is, asking her boyfriend why he isn't that sweet in public. As they begin flirting, Jongho drags you to the lift to escape, hoping to avoid any more questions from them. As much as you'd like to slap him for the sudden kiss, you hold yourself back.

"Sorry. I didn't know what else to do." Jongho confesses after half of the lift ride passes.

"Don't worry. I know you're only keeping up the act."

As you hop off the lift at the top of the mountain, you let Jongho begin his descent first. Your mind clouds due to the kiss. It brings back good memories, filling your lips with a bittersweet taste. Shaking your thoughts away, you begin heading down the trail, weaving between trees and choosing a path that'll give you more adrenaline. You have to stop hard at the end and nearly fall over, but you stabilize yourself enough to only wobble.

"Jongho, go help your adventurous girlfriend! She nearly fell!"

"It's her fault for doing that path!" He screams back as he walks up to you with his hand outstretched for you.

You hold onto his arm to balance yourself as you dismount the board. You lean down to pick up the board, but Jongho pulls you upright. He then leans over to pick it up himself, carrying the board under one arm as he keeps you on his other.

The day continues in a similar fashion until all of the activity makes everyone hungry. After a short debate over eating at the ski lodge or heading back to the cabin, everyone files into the lodge, quickly unwrapping layers of clothing in the warm, cozy quarters. You enjoy good food and conversation before braving the freezing weather again to travel back to the cabin. Once back, everyone heads directly to their rooms, beat after the energy spent throughout the past several hours.

You follow Jongho into the backyard with thoughts of the kiss coming back into mind. Alone with him, you can't get rid of them, so you decide to talk about it instead.

"Jongho, what happened when you kissed me earlier? You tensed up shortly after; was something bugging you about it?"

After a short silence, he admits, "The spark is still there. It drove me mad to feel that again after so long."

"Well, we aren't broken up quite yet. We can live out the spark one last time if you want."

Meeting his gaze, you find a boy you haven't seen in a while - one with a look of joy to hear words falling from your lips, and one with excitement of the idea of having you one last time.

"You want to?"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't something I was open to, Jongho. You know me at least that well."

Rather than responding, Jongho presses his lips against yours once again. The step forward makes you instinctively step back, hitting the wall in the process. He places one hand against the wall by your head and slides the other around your waist. As you lean back into the wall, he leans into you, pressing his body firmly against yours. Draping your arms over his shoulders, you feel all of the tenseness from earlier wash away thanks to the kiss. As his cock hardens, trying to push out of his pants, he growls at the lack of space.

He pulls away momentarily to undo his pants, but he commands you onto the bed with a simple nod in the right direction. You sit on the edge of the bed and look up at him with innocent eyes as he approaches. When he finally kicks off his pants and stands in front of you, he grabs you by the chin and smirks down at you.

"Oh, are you being good today?"

"I'm always good, sir."

"Of course, baby, how could I forget?"

He leans down and places a quick peck on your lips before straightening again. You watch as he deliberates with himself over what he wants to do to you. You see the moment he decides as his eyes darken and his smirk twists up ever-so-slightly.

"What do you want right now, baby?"

"You, sir. All of you."

"Then lie down. Let's get started. It's going to be a long night if you want all of me."

You scoot back and follow his instructions without a fight. He climbs onto the bed, hovering over you with hunger in his eyes. Slowly, he leans in and kisses your neck, paying attention to everything he does. You already know he wants to drive you insane, and you also know that there's nothing you can do to prevent that outcome. As he continues his slow, drawn-out worship of your exposed skin, you close your eyes and embrace the sensations. You focus so much that you almost miss his words as he whispers his next command into your ear.

"Take it off. All of it."

He moves to the side, eyeing you like prey as you remove your shirt and then slide off your pants. He swallows back saliva as you unhook your bra and let your breasts fall freely. In striking contrast to his recent looks of hatred, the craving look of a predator makes your heart race and adrenaline pump. You feel on cloud nine as you slide your panties down your legs and hear him grunt out at his view. Even if the love is long gone, the lust definitely remains.

He lets you sit there on display all pretty for him for what feels like forever, but you know better than to beg for his touch, even if the cold air perks your nipples and sends shivers up your body. When he finally stops staring at you, he sits against the headboard and taps his thigh. You quickly sit on his thigh with your hands on his shoulders. Guiding your chin to him, he envelopes you in a deep kiss. You don't even notice his hands slowly dropping down to your waist until he grips tightly. His lips fall to your neck and then your chest while his hands guide you to rub yourself along his thigh.

When he feels his thigh get wet from your actions, he smirks and flexes, earning a yelp from you. He pushes your hips down into him more, making you experience even more of the friction against him. He continues to casually cover your upper body in kisses and hickets as if he isn't pushing you dangerously close to the edge on his thigh.

"Jongho~"

"Shh... I know, baby. You're close, I know. Don't be all whiny about it."

He removes his hands and tells you to lie down on your stomach. You hug one of the pillows to your face, excited but terrified to know what he'll do next. When you feel his hands explore your back, the tingles make you tense up.

"What's wrong, Y/N? Scared?" There's a sinister tone to his words as if he hopes that you're afraid.

He begins massaging the tenseness out of your back, kissing in between to give his hands short breaks. Suddenly, you feel him lift your crotch, and his thick cock grazes your inner thigh slightly. You don't know when he stripped out of the rest of his clothing, but you feel his naked chest as he leans in to kiss your shoulder and whisper into your ear.

"Now, be a good girl and take it all for me, okay?"

You nod into the pillow, but he doesn't pay attention. Instead, he's busy lining himself up properly. Slowly, he pushes inside, keeping a slow but steady pace until he bottoms out. You bite the pillow as his girth stretches you out. After not indulging for over a month, the pain burns through you more than usual, but Jongho lets his lust drive him. He trusts that you'll use the established safewords if you need him to stop or slow down, so he immediately begins fucking you.

This lust-driven sex feels much more carnal, nothing like the sex you had when you loved each other. Fueled by the mutual desire of one final hurrah, you enjoy the rough grabbing and hard thrusts.

"Fuck. You're so good."

He slides one hand up your back, knotting it into the hair at your nape. He uses it to pull you up against him. With your back against his chest, he lets go of your hair and snakes his hand around to the front of you. Holding onto your neck, he aggressively thrusts up into you. As he steadies his control, he brings his other hand around to your front. After a bit of blind searching, his thumb finds its place on your clit.

With the added pressure to your clit, you tap on the hand around your neck, signaling that you need to breathe freely. He moves that hand down to your boobs, grabbing one tightly and using his long fingers to rub your nipple. Being stimulated in so many places, you begin to lose yourself, muttering out nonsense in your moans.

"That's it, Y/N. You're taking it so well. Just a little bit more, baby. You're almost there. I can feel it."

Sure enough, you feel your climax approaching. Without letting up on anything, he bites down on your shoulder. The unexpected sensation sends you straight into your orgasm. You shake as it overtakes you, and you feel his moans vibrate against your collarbone as your walls tighten around him. His thrusting becomes rushes, with short, quick thrusts to bring him over the edge as well. Bodies flush against each other, you feel him fill you up as he finishes.

He removes his mouth from your shoulder first, with a curse under his breath over the wonderful feeling. After, he slowly pulls out of you and guides you to lie down next to each other in bed. For a while, the only sounds in the room are your combined panting, but Jongho breaks the silence with a lighthearted jest.

"A spark of lust... What a fun thing, that is."

"Y'know what? I think it might be easier to pretend to love you after that."

After he cracks up at your statement, he throws himself under the blankets, exclaiming, "We'll see. Just don't get on my nerves. Good night, Y/N."

Surprisingly, you both cruise through the day. You're able to joke, hold hands, and even kiss without feeling any way about it. San jokes that it took an extra day for you guys to adjust to the room, but he points out how clear it is that you've broken in the bed. Jongho begins walking towards him without comment, scaring the louder boy away quickly. But even that interaction was all in good fun. When you turn in for the night, you can't help but smile at the fun day. As Jongho joins in, you comment jokingly.

"Maybe San's right. It was obvious we did much better today. We can't let ourselves get sexually frustrated, or it'll make the mission harder."

"I know you're not asking for more after complaining about being sore this morning."

"I'm just saying. No need to get fussy about it, Jongho. Or maybe... Are you already getting sexually frustrated again?" You look at him with a devious smile, but he doesn't respond, so you continue, "Do you need me to help you again? Oh, poor baby!"

Quietly, he asks, "Are you gonna help, or are you just gonna be mean?"

"Oh, my poor baby. Lay down. I'll help you."

You slyly hook your thumbs onto his waistband as you guide him onto the bed. When he scoots back, his pants and underwear slide off with ease. Although he's slightly embarrassed by the sudden nakedness, he doesn't comment. Instead, he silently lets you pull the clothing fully off him before climbing onto the bed to hover over him.

"You're right, though. If I take you again, I'm not sure if I'll be able to get up tomorrow. I guess I'll have to figure out some other way to help."

"Y/N, please, just touch me. Please, no more teasing."

"Oh, poor baby. You're that needy, Jongho? Needy enough to beg for me to touch you?"

Softly you place your hand on the tip of his dick, keeping your eyes on his face the whole time. You revel in his reactions as you rub your palm over his tip with the leaking precum acting as a bit of lube. When you progress down to stroke his dick, you watch his eyes roll back into his head, encouraging you without even realizing it. While he's momentarily blinded by the pleasure, you lean in and take his tip into your mouth. Purely reactionary, Jongho thrusts his hips up into you, but you've had enough experience to predict it and hold him down. However, you notice just how needy he is by his whiny moans, so you decide to give him a quick release - just like he wants.

Quickly bobbing your head and moving your hand in unison, you do everything exactly how you know he likes it best. You ignore the whiny mess spewing from his lips and focus hard on your task, trying to bring him to orgasm in record time. Feeling the usual signs that he's close, you gain a sense of satisfaction in knowing you can still mess him up this quickly and easily. You focus on keeping the pace the same despite it being a bit faster than usual. When he pushes your head down and finishes down your throat, you emerge proud of yourself.

"Did that help?"

Already half asleep after the wave of pleasure, he only slightly nods before passing out. You laugh at the exhausted man before doing your nightly routine and joining him in sleep.

Waking up on the dawn of the final day, you feel a weird sensation overtake you. Grief? Not quite, but something similar, for sure. As you realize that today marks the last day of the trip and your relationship, that sad feeling washes over you from the moment you wake up. Even though you've known the day was coming, it still feels strange to let go, especially after you were able to tolerate each other over the past couple of days. When you join your friends, they're all hugging and crying, claiming that they don't want to return to their regular day-to-day lives. You find it funny to watch, as they take frequent vacations anyway. You and Jongho awkwardly stand there, holding hands and watching the sobbing cuddle huddle.

Before they can pull you in, Jongho claims that he wants to beat traffic, so you two will be heading home first. This quickly pulls everyone apart to say their goodbyes, and you head out to the car within ten minutes. Once there, that overwhelming feeling envelopes the air between you. Neither of you brings up the elephant in the room until you nearly reach your house.

"So, is this officially where we call it?" You ask as he turns down your street.

"I guess it has to be, right? Without the love, there wouldn't be much of a relationship."

"Yeah... We'd make better friends with benefits at this point."

After a short silence, he parks the car in front of your home and turns to you, "Should we?"

"I'd be down for it, honestly."

"Then let's do that. We're no longer in a relationship, but we can still reach out for hook ups."

"Deal."

#cultofdionysusnet #wonderlandnet #16 days of smutmas 2023 #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop smut #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #choi jongho smut #ateez jongho #jongho imagines #jongho scenarios #jongho smut

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04mxfutbol · 1 year

Text

Falling in or out of love? (Ashley Sanchez x Reader)

A/N: This is the fic I had in mind for a while now! I was listening to Labyrinth and the song inspired me lol. (So kind of based on my current favorite song Labyrinth.)

You walked into the hotel, holding your suitcase tightly. Walking towards the receptionist.

“I should have a reservation for Y/N Y/L/N.” You say to the receptionist. Handing her your ID.

“Y/L/N. Ah yes, room 313, your roommate has also gotten here. Rebecca Sauerbrunn.”

Score. You got a chill roommate.

“Great thank you.” You say with a smile, grabbing the key card and walking towards the elevator.

You arrive to your room, opening the door, you hear nothing but silence. You walk inside the room and you’re met with Becky laying on the bed, a book in her hands. Glasses on as she reads. A cup of coffee on the table beside her.

“Y/N so nice to see you once again. Sure feels great to be playing alongside you rather than against you.” Becky says making you laugh.

“I feel the same way about you cap.” You say nodding your head. “So roomies huh?”

“I’m just glad I got you as my roommate, I think I’d quit the team if I were to get Emily one more time.”

“You could never leave us, you love us too much to leave us alone and unprotected.”

“Correct.” Becky says nodding her head. “I know you’re a big fan of being close to the window so I took this bed here. Unpack and get ready for two weeks of pure calmness with me.”

“Oh I’m definitely looking forward to it.” You say with a smile, setting your suitcase up on your bed.

After unpacking your stuff you decided to take a short nap because who doesn’t love naps. You’re woken up by Becky who tells you it’s time for dinner. You both start to head downstairs to meet the rest of the team.

“A secret of mine is I kind of hate elevators.” You whisper to Becky.

“Why?”

“It’s a metaphor.” You say waving her off.

You grab a plate, serving yourself some food. You look around and see Christen sitting next to Alex and Rose.

“Can I join?”

“Of course, take a seat.” Christen says scooting over to make room. “How are you?”

“Fine thanks.” You say.

“Are you sure?” Alex asks you, putting her hand on your shoulder.

“Why do you ask?”

“We just want to know how you’re doing, can we not ask that?” Alex asks.

“I mean yeah I suppose.” You say furrowing your eyebrows. You look down to your food poking it around and then taking a bite. “I want my own home cooked food. This is a little too healthy for my liking.”

“We heard about the breakup.” Alex says and you look up.

“So is their a weekly newsletter about stuff like this going around or?” You say curiously. How they knew who knew. You sure didn’t know how.

“Hey guys.” Kelley says.

There’s how.

“We broke up like almost a year ago, mutually.” You say calmly.

You and Ashley broke up mutually about almost a year ago, agreeing that you both needed some space. From what? Who even knows. But something wasn’t right between the two of you which made you both realize you both needed to step back.

“But you’re doing fine?” Christen asks softly.

“Yes. I’m doing fine, sad most of the time, crying on the floor sobbing, screaming, crying. But fine.” You say with a chuckle.

“Y/N.” Christen says softly.

“I’m kidding, sorry I am kidding. I just like messing with you guys. I’m fine. I’m okay.”

A liar.

Oh how miserable you were for the first couple of weeks, the realization hitting you so deep, especially when you were alone in your apartment.

“I’m trying to get over her. Although I think I’ll be getting over her my whole life.” You whisper. “But I remember we both agreed we needed to break up so there’s that.”

“Oh Y/N.” Christen says pulling you in for a hug.

“I’m better though, every day that passes by I think I am closer and closer to getting over her.” You say with a shrug. “But I don’t know how you guys expect me to bounce back from the break up so fast.”

“We’re not Y/N. We just want to make sure you’re okay and dealing with the break up in a healthy way.”

While Christen comforted you, Ashley was just outside the room with Trinity.

“You look like an absolute mess.” Trinity tells Ashley as they walk out the elevator.

“Gee, thanks for that.” Ashley says.

“You still haven’t been getting enough sleep have you?” Trinity asks.

“No and it’s dragging me down like you have no idea. I get so tired quickly, I barely even have energy to put on nice clothes to look decent.”

“And this whole losing sleep isn’t because of the breakup?”

“Nope it’s definitely not that. We broke up like almost a year ago. Trust me it’s not that.” Ashley says opening the door.

As soon as she opens the door to the breakfast area, she spots you laughing with Rose.

“So definitely not because of Y/N. Right.” Trinity says passing Ashley and going for a plate.

“It’s not! I’m like not even bothered by it.” Ashley says following Trinity.

“Sure. You definitely have me fooled.”

“It was mutual.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re over her.”

“I am.” Ashley says making Trinity stop in her tracks, turning around to face Ashley. “Kind of?”

“Thought so.”

“I’m getting there though.” Ashley says. “Soon.”

- - - -

The following day you had practice until sunset. Your legs completely giving out at the end of it. Grabbing your bottle of water and chugging it as if your life really does depend on it, which it does.

“Hey, tomorrow we’re grabbing some food downtown. Do you want to come with us?” Abby asks you.

“Who’s we?” You ask looking at Abby.

“Sam, Rose, Lynn, Alex, Naomi and I.” She says and you think about it for two seconds. “Oh and Taylor.”

“Yeah I’ll come with.”

“Good it’ll be nice for you to get out.” Abby says patting her shoulder.

The following day you dressed yourself in some of your comfy clothes to go out with the rest of the girls. A smile on your face as a nice little lunch with your teammates would be fun.

“Are you going out?” Becky asks as she lays in her bed.

“Yeah with some girls to grab some food.” You say as you put on your hoodie, more specifically a hoodie Alyssa had given you.

“That’s good to hear, have fun Y/N.”

You walked out of your shared room, bumping into Alex.

“You ready?” Alex asks and you nod your head.

Across the hall, in the room next to Rose and Megan was Ashley with Trinity.

“Come on Ash get up, let’s go shopping.” Trinity says shaking Ashley.

“Does it look like I’m in the mood to go shopping?” Ashley says, Trinity backs away, arms up in defeat.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Trinity says.

“I’m tired.”

“You’ve been tired for almost the exact amount of time you and Y/N split up and you’re still denying that she isn’t the reason why you’re like this.”

“I’m getting over her trust me.”

“No I don’t think you are, you’re only telling yourself that to convince yourself but you are not. You’re not over her.”

“Slowly I am.” Ashley says.

Ashley pulls out her phone going straight to Instagram. Watching Naomi’s story. A picture of you looking at the camera, holding your cup of tea, a smile on your face.

“I’m not over her. I don’t think I ever will be. I thought I was. It feels like there’s a labyrinth in my fucking mind and I can’t seem to get out.” Ashley whispers. “I definitely thought I was slowly getting over her but-.”

“You’re falling in love with her again?” Trinity asks and Ashley looks up from her phone.

“Oh yeah.” Ashley says with a sigh. “I’m falling in love with her again.”

Ashley pulls the blanket over her head as she lets out a groan.

“I’m falling in love again.”

You returned to the hotel after an eventful and fun day with the girls. Going out for some lunch and finding an arcade where you totally beat Alex at mini golf.

You go to push the door when someone opens the door making you fall forward.

“Oh crap.” You shout as you almost fall.

Your eyes meet green eyes. Green eyes you knew so well.

Oh no. It’s happening.

“Sorry I didn’t expect someone on the other side of the door.” Ashley says and you stay quiet.

Oh no. You know this feeling all too well.

“You okay?”

“Y/N you okay?” Sam asks and you nod your head.

“Christen is up in her room right?” You ask Sam.

“Yeah why?”

“Great thanks.”

You run up to the room, obnoxiously knocking on Christen’s door.

“Christen open the door please!” You shout.

“Y/N lovely seeing you here.”

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure thing what’s going on?”

“Have you ever been in love with someone and they didn’t love you back?” You ask Christen.

“Of course.” Christen says and your eyes widen.

“You have? Who wouldn’t be in love with you, with all due respect.” You say quickly.

“You.”

“Sorry excuse me?” You ask as you stumble backwards.

“I’m messing with you, sorry continue.” Christen says and you sigh in relief.

“Respectfully I love you but anyway, I think I may have fallen in love again.”

“Okay? What’s so bad about that Y/N?”

“With Ashley.”

“Oh well how does that make you feel?” Christen asks as she sits up from her bed. You walk over and sit on the edge of her bed.

“Like I’m falling in love again?” You say.

“Right but what’s going through your mind as you say it out loud.”

“I thought this plane was going down.” You say. “I don’t know how it turned around and I’m once again falling in love with her again.”

“Pardon? Plane?” Christen asks confusedly.

“Metaphors.” You say. “What do I do? You’re like an expert.”

“I wouldn’t say expert but I will say that you should take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. Now relax and tell me what your heart says.”

“I want to tell her I love her and I can’t see my life without her.” You say looking at Christen.

“That’s a choice yes.” Christen says nodding her head.

“It’s a bad choice isn’t it?”

“No, no. Don’t rush it. Talk to her and see where that leads you. If you ask me, I think she still loves you.” Christen says softly.

“Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime.”

You get up from her bed, giving her a hug then head back to your room.

Talk to her, easy.

You walk into your room going into the bathroom to wash your face. The light in the room was on.

“Hey Becky I have a question.” You say but get no response. “Becky?”

You pat your face dry with a towel and walk fully into the shared room. Becky isn’t there, instead it’s someone else.

“Hi.” Ashley says getting up from Becky’s bed.

“Oh hey.” You say looking at Ashley. “Becky isn’t here apparently. Weird. I’d look for her in Alyssa’s room.”

“I’m not- I’m not here to talk to Becky. I’m here because I want to talk to you.”

“Me? Oh okay. What’s going on? Is it your roommate? I won’t trade, I’ve been getting the best sleep. Ten out of ten would highly recommend having Becky as your roommate.” You say, face facing down to the floor, your thumb rubbing your pinky because of how nervous you are.

“I’m falling in love again.” Ashley blurts out breaking the silence which filled the room. You lift your head up, looking at Ashley.

“Oh.” You say, you feel your heart break, knowing she was falling in love again. With someone who wasn’t you. You looked back down, biting your lip in an attempt to not cry. “You fell out of love from me, understandable.”

“I feel so stupid but I’m falling in love again.” Ashley says looking at you, taking a few steps towards. “I’m falling in love again.. I’m falling in love with you.”

“Oh.” You say lifting your head back up.

“I haven’t been sleeping well for almost a year. I can’t think, I can’t sleep, I can’t function. Every time I come across any picture of you, I feel like I just fall in love with you over and over again and I can’t stop.”

You stand there in silence, not being able to speak but just stare.

“And I know you’re probably already moving on or already moved on and I wouldn’t blame you. but I-I I’m falling in love with you and it scares me because I don’t know how you feel. I just couldn’t stand and say nothing. I had to say some-.”

You cut Ashley off as you cup her face with you hands, kissing her deeply and softly. You pull away, your foreheads resting against the other.

“I’m falling in love with you again too.” You whisper. “I just also didn’t want to say anything. But being without you has been by far the most painful thing ever. I thought you were over me.”

“I could never be over you. You’re the best of me.” Ashley whispers against your lips. “I want you. Realizing that I was falling in love with you again scared me, I didn’t know if you still loved me.”

“I thought I was but every time I saw you those feelings came back around. I could never stop loving you Ash.”

“I can’t stop loving you and I don’t want to stop.” Ashley says cupping your face, shaking her head as she looks into your eyes.

She knew she was finally getting out of the labyrinth in her head. And you finally knew where the plane was heading, it had landed.

“I don’t want to stop loving you either. Never.”

#uswnt x reader #ashley sanchez x reader #uswnt imagine #woso imagine

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thickenmyblood · 1 year

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With 15/20(?) chapters completed for hand in unlovable hand, I still can’t understand how any version of Laurent could have a sexual and romantic relationship with a person he barely knows and clearly doesn’t love. It seems so totally out of his nature. I respect you making this choice for the story you wanted to tell, I guess I’m just curious why you made it. Pacat said that Laurent is an “all or nothing” person, so the idea that he could dump Damen and shortly start hooking up with some random jerk like Maxime is really hard to fathom. The guy seems like a pretentious, performative douchebag that the canon Laurent would have ridiculed and excoriated, not someone he would have considered as any type of partner. Laurent choosing to have sex with someone like that is inconceivable and unrecognizable to me. I love how you write Nicaise and a lot of the other relationships, and again, it’s your story and so whatever characterization you choose is your right! But regardless of whatever in-story reasons your Laurent has for being like this, I hope at some point you as the author will also talk about why you wrote him in this way. Thanks for reading my opinion.

hello! my reply will be below the cut.

i don't think we're at a point in hiuh where you can fully understand why laurent started seeing maxime, so i don't exactly fault you or anyone else for asking this kind of question. this reply will sadly give you very few spoilers on laurent's motivations. what needs explaining will be explained in the fic, and whether you or other readers agree/disagree with it (as in, laurent's intentions and actions and thought process), from a moral or even psychological point of view, exceeds the limits of my writing.

however, what does concern my writing is the characterization aspect of your ask. i understand that fanfiction, by definition, does not exist in a bubble. it is a derivative work. it comes from somewhere else. obviously, when compared to canon (where laurent turned down every single romantic/sexual offer he had before and after damen), hiuh exhibits a lot of contradictions and apparent ooc-ness. it is impossible not to compare fanfiction to its original source. without the og material, there would be no fanfiction.

having said all of this, i think your ask and overall perspective overlooks the main point of the fic itself. in order to understand hiuh (boiled down to its bare tags: a breakup fic), you have to understand why laurent dumped damen. for the first half of the fic, damen himself doesn't understand this. he looks at the truth and denies it, time and time again, rewriting the narration of their break up to fit into a more comfortable lie: he didn't dump me, it was a mutual agreement. later on, once damen has had some character growth, he realizes that it was laurent that initiated the breakup and why.

laurent did not break up with damen because he was cheating on him, because he was bored, because he was suddenly straight. laurent broke up with damen because he felt that damen was hurting nicaise, emotionally and psychologically. in fact, we have seen in early chapters how nicaise absorbed damen's harmful messages on mental health/masculinity/self-expression. whether or not that was the right decision is not the point. whether or not laurent became the Perfect Single Parent after the breakup is not the point. laurent broke up with damen because they were vastly different and they were no longer good for/to each other. that was laurent's reasoning, flawed or not, morally correct or not, hypocritical or not. in real life, people make decisions and convince themselves of why they're right all the time. why should fiction be the exception?

now that we have established that the breakup was not simply a whim on laurent's end, we can perhaps approach laurent's dating life with a more balanced perspective. is laurent truly and irrevocably in love with maxime? so far into the story, damen doesn't know, which means we don't know. he sees them together, they seem happy, he concludes that they're in love. has damen always been right in hiuh and, dare i say, in canon? no. why did laurent start dating someone so radically different from damen and yet so much like him? have you thought about how much damen and maxime might have in common and where they differ? why is maxime more awful than damen? maxime made some bad, reproachable comments. but so did damen at the start of the fic. has damen not been pretentious throughout the fic? has he not thought himself above others, judged them, ridiculed them, and hurt them? has damen not hurt laurent? (yes, laurent also hurt damen, i will address this in a different ask). i know i have said this before, multiple times, and i stand by it: economic class is NOT examined well or thoroughly in hiuh. however, are maxime and damen not rich? do they come from different economic backgrounds? aren't they both slightly out of touch with reality? what is it about maxime that truly gets on your nerves?

it is more than okay to read this version of laurent and 1. not understand why he is the way that he is, given that it hasn't been explained in the story yet and 2. not like it. you and anyone reading the fic is completely, 100% allowed to dislike, hate, loathe, be irritated to the point of tears by this version of him. what i care about is that when the fic is done, you look at him, IN THE VERY SPECIFIC CONTEXT OF THIS STORY, and see a consistent, well-written characterization. this is not about readers rooting for lamen, for laurent, for damen, for true ever lasting love... this is about the story making sense. that is what i care most about: coherence and consistency.

to answer your final question: why did i choose to write laurent like this? i chose to write laurent the way i saw him to be in canon. snarky, smart, sometimes unjustifiably mean, and at his very core self-hating. that is my personal interpretation of laurent. from the moment we disagree on any of those pillars, it becomes quite difficult to think that we are talking about the same character. yes, he is frigid in canon, he is saving himself for the grave, he is not at all promiscuous. but to me, his self-hatred is perhaps his most defining feature. and, obviously, my favorite. which is not to say you can't read laurent as someone that doesn't hate himself in canon. you can. these are not my books, and even if they were i wouldn't dream of telling you what you can or can't think about them. yet this is my vision, this is how i see him.

as for the "all or nothing" quote, i believe you are talking about a snippet from the summer palace. if not, correct me. i have many, many, many issues with that short story. that is why i have decided to exclude further commentary on that from my reply. i hope you understand. either way, I don't see how that statement contradicts what's happened so far in hiuh.

i don't want you or anyone reading this to take my reply as a slap on the wrist or some sort of "angry writer yells at a cloud" exposition. i am not mad, and i like getting questions and comments that challenge my writing, that ask for clarification, that complain. this is part of being a writer and sharing your work with others and i am more than fine with it. i wish, if anything, that i had more time to explain and reply, to quote my own work and give you specific examples for things, but i do not have that luxury.

thank you for your time!

PS. this entire commentary is not to be taken as The Author's Interpretation Is The Holy Word.

#hiuh #anon #yes ch16 is coming #no i havent abandoned the fic #yes i will post before march ends #yes i am going to reply to the laurent questions #it's just taking me a while #i have a lot of questions to reply to but i hate posting everything all at once skwmnwenwnnw

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callsign-phoenix · 2 years

Text

I wrote this because I love the song ‘Mutual Friend’ by Jessie Reyez, I hope you like this fic inspired by it.

It is a Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x female!reader imagine.

Thank you @lt-natrace for proofreading and @blue-aconite for thinking this through with me!

Warnings: cheating (him on you), cursing, angst (seriously), violence (she punches him in anger), this fic is racially and body type inclusive despite the moodboard suggesting otherwise

“You fucking asshole, how fucking dare you?” You shouted as you made your way towards the group of aviators, Hangman in its centre.

Your anger was only fueled by the cocky grin he wore as he turned around to look at you, even if it was washed off the moment he saw you.

Jake’s eyes widened and your fist connected with his cheekbone, the pain flaring in your hand and wrist, before it went numb from adrenaline.

A silence lay over the aviators as their attention turned to you, your anger and tears prominent.

“You fucking dick, I trusted you, I loved you, and you sleep with the next best whore!” You went on, and even though you had just assaulted a Lieutenant no one dared to stop you.

When you finished talking you waited for a reply, but other than an apologetic and saddened look, he didn’t reply.

You took the hint and left, not looking back until Natasha caught up with you, pulling you out of sight and into a hug that allowed you to let your feelings free.

As a mechanic in the Navy you didn’t have much time to grieve the rather serious relationship you had had with Jake.

He had seemed so honest to you, like he wanted a serious relationship, you were devastated that you had been wrong about him.

Phoenix was there for you the entire time, trying to help you get over Jake, while also maintaining a friendship with him.

You never understood it but she didn’t talk about him out of consideration for you, except for when she one day did.

She knew it would upset you but she believed in your friendship, so she tried to casually bring it up in conversation.

Rage filled you at your friend’s audacity to bring his name up in a conversation that didn’t involve anger.

“He’s not doing great, you know,” she said softly, swirling the wine in her glass before she looked up at you.

“He’s miserable, has been since your breakup actually,” she continued, but you only snorted into your drink.

“Well he should have thought about that before fucking cheated on me,” you said, but she just gave you a sad smile.

“Who says he didn’t deliberately destroy what you had? He had reasons for it, don’t you think?” She asked, but you dismissed the idea quickly.

While you didn’t continue talking with Phoenix about him, Jake and what she had suggested was undoubtedly on your mind.

You had managed to only need to think about him once a day before but now he was a constant, the need to talk to him just for the purpose of closure too strong to resist.

So you texted him, asking to meet him at a bar to get it over with quickly and in public, where he couldn’t make too big of a scene.

You hated yourself for the longing you felt the moment you saw him enter the bar, making his way towards the table you were sitting at.

There was anger in you but you couldn’t help but realise how much you had missed him, which only made you shut yourself off more harshly.

You stood up out of courtesy but when you saw Jake take a step towards you, too close for your liking, you flinched and he stopped moving.

His usual air of confidence was replaced with something that resembled modesty, he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping and his mood seemed down, even if you could see a glimmer of hope as his eyes didn’t leave your face.

“I’m glad we get to talk,” he said as he sat down and you mirrored his actions, his fingers curling around the bottom of the beer bottle you had ordered for him and fiddling with it.

“I’m shipping out tomorrow on a mission, I’m glad we get to talk beforehand,” he continued, but you interrupted him harshly.

“I didn’t ask you to come here so we could talk. I asked you to come here so I could talk and you would listen.” You stated firmly, and his eyes left you for the first time to glance at the bottle in his hands in shame.

You didn’t know how he had expected this meeting to go, but you realised that this wasn’t the way he had imagined.

“Phoenix said you’ve been telling her that you’re sorry and that you wanted to talk. We’re doing this on my terms, because I have more than enough things to say to you,” you continued, and he crumbled in his seat as he nodded, his eyes once again finding yours.

You needed to take a breath before you managed to continue to speak.

“These past months have been difficult for me, not because I miss you, but because I am dealing with the trauma of being lied to and cheated on. You were the one person I trusted not to break my heart but you went and did it anyways, I don’t give a fuck about your reasons to do so,” you told him, your voice much deeper than usual in your anger.

“I don’t give a fuck about you or your feelings, so this is really therapeutic for me right now. You broke my heart, you made my life miserable and made me doubt anything and everything in my life. Honestly, Jake, if you died tomorrow I don’t think I’d cry. I don’t care if it sounds cold, it is what it is,” you finished, taking in deep breaths after your rant.

It wasn’t fair how Jake looked at you when you finished speaking, the sadness, the heartbreak you seemed to see in his eyes making you feel guilty for what you said.

He didn’t say anything, he simply nodded slightly, his eyelids fluttering as his eyes lowered to your hands on the table.

He only stared into space until you let out a breath, getting up to leave him with a lighter heart after all those months.

When you glanced back at him from the doorway he was still sitting in the same position you had left him, his hand wrapped so tightly around his beer bottle that you thought it might break any second.

Confessing your feelings to Hangman wasn’t as satisfying as you hoped it would be.

It felt good to know that he knew how you felt but you had been harsh on him, maybe a little too harsh.

You were contemplating to call him but you knew he was on a mission so you refrained from doing so.

When Phoenix’s caller ID popped up on your phone you were happy to check in on her.

You were about to speak up when she beat you to it, addressing you in a voice that sent shivers down your spine.

“Jake was in an accident. He’s… he’s in hospital. We don’t know… we don’t know,” she said, and fear struck you like lightning.

You felt sick to your stomach and you were shivering, the news having to sink in before you could reply.

“I’m on my way,” you muttered, stumbling your way towards your car and the hospital.

The moment you saw Phoenix you rushed to hug her, the shock in your body feeling like your bones were deep frozen and waiting to break with your next step.

“How is he?” You asked her, and when she broke away from you her face was clouded with anger.

She didn’t answer your question but instead posed one of her own.

“How could you tell him you’d be happier if he were dead the day before his mission?!” She asked angrily, her voice raising even if she didn’t mean to.

“I thought you wouldn’t be that dumb, that you would come to your senses when you talked to him. But it almost killed him to hear that and it definitely didn’t help him focus on the mission,” she exclaimed passionately.

While you had felt cold and lifeless there was a rush of hot fear and guilt running through you now.

“You’ve been terrible since that incident with Jake but you didn’t give him the chance to explain, I know cheating isn’t to be dealt with lightly, he messed up bad, but he has a reason for it all. He wanted to make amends and I knew you were still hurting, you needed each other!” She said, but it took a while until her words seeped into your consciousness.

“I didn’t think you’d react that way, you love him,” she said, running her hand through the hair that had fallen out of a very messy bun.

“I know you love him, I thought you would talk it out. I honestly thought you would make up, or I wouldn’t have suggested the meeting.” She said, and she was shaking lightly, looking at you with a hint of tears in her eyes.

You didn��t feel much, your breathing starting to grow heavy and you could feel tears in your eyes as well.

“How is he?” You asked with more intensity, and Bob spoke up from a corner somewhere where you hadn’t noticed him before.

“He’s fighting. They can’t do much, he’s unconscious, we just have to wait,” he told you, nodding towards a door that made you feel anxious just looking at it.

You were feeling sick to your stomach again when you entered the room, your heart racing and your breathing picking up when your eyes searched for Jake.

He was unconscious in a hospital bed, unmoving, and you felt like someone had punched you in the stomach when you walked closer.

There was a chair propped up next to the bed, but you couldn’t sit down for a while as you stared at him.

The tears came naturally, even if you didn’t want them to, Jake’s busted up face and the way he was so unusually still scaring you beyond anything you had ever experienced.

After a while you weren’t physically able to stay standing anymore and you sank into the chair, carefully reaching for his hand that was propped beside him on the bed.

You hesitated for a second before you took his hand in yours, the feeling of his skin on yours both grounding and terrifying you.

It made it all real, it made his accident real, and your blame in it as well.

“I don’t know what to say to you, Jake,” you said softly, your voice breaking as your eyes searched his face for a reaction that of course didn’t come.

“I’m so sorry for everything,” you whispered, leaning forwards in your chair to grasp his hand firmer in both of yours.

“I’m so sorry for what I said when you left, it wasn’t fair to you, I shouldn’t have said what I said,” you said as you felt the tears run freely down your face, and you were sure they had made their way on the skin of his hand as well.

“I don’t know what got into me, I was just angry because you hurt me, you hurt me so much because despite everything that happened there wasn’t a single moment in which I stopped loving you,” you said, sobs rocking your body and your hands shaking around his.

“I don’t think I could forgive myself for doing this to you, I was reckless and selfish, I love you, I…” you tried to go on, but you didn’t know what to say.

You were wrapped up in your thoughts, crying and internally cursing yourself when you felt a thumb graze over the back of one of your hands, and you froze mid-sob.

When you finally found the courage to raise your eyes they were met with Jake’s green ones, his face stern due to anger or the bruising, you didn’t know.

part two

tagging: @wildbornsiren @mayhem24-7forever @green-socks @hederasgarden @letsfvckingdance @shadeds-library @a-reader-and-a-writer @yespolkadotkitty @whateverbagman @neptunes-curse @sweetheartlizzie07 @top-gun-rooster @kyramaximoff @iloveprettyboysblog @ateliefloresdaprimavera @imjess-themess @littlebadariell @angstyjellybean @marchingicenotes7 @thelifeofthelifeofme @midget713 @dannyramirezwife @supernaturaldawning @gspenc @adorephina @gigisimsonmars @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bespinnn @softromantist @malindacath @peaches-1999 @oliviah-25 @natasharomanoffisbaebby @luckyladycreator2 @blue-aconite @tipsykeen @airedale17 @iangiemae @dempy @princessofglitterland @teti-menchon0604 @butaneandthebeast @katesmadness @call-sign-hurricane

(please tell me if you want to be added to the taglist, or use this link)

#jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin imagine #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #hangman x you #hangman x reader #hangman top gun #top gun hangman

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aprillikesthings · 1 month

Text

I think I finally have the energy for more rewatch

We're on the home stretch now folks

*cries*

s5 ep9 An Ill Wind

Me when I started doing this nearly two months ago: oh my god I can't do this for every episode it'll take me MONTHS to watch them all I want is to refresh my memory of the show enough to write my damn fic

Me now, having done this for Yes, Every Fucking Episode: I'm not ready for the show to be over ;_; Also I am devastatingly obsessed with Catra and learned I have a specific kink I didn't know the name of before and I keep practicing eyeliner like every night so I can cosplay Catra :D

ahahahah oh god

also from here on out I am going to not read the synopses

(I didn't do that for most of the episodes anyway tbh)

Glimmer can teleport relatively far distances with multiple people again but Catra is NOT a fan

also they're toUCHING

Adora, looking into the woods: hey come look at this

Catra: *still suppressing puking from some form of motion sickness caused by teleportation*

oh they find the empty torn up camp

Glimmer: maybe they went to Bright Moon or Mystacor? Catra: dude you know they could all be chipped so maybe we should be careful Glimmer: oh you don't trust princesses? Adora: Catra's right Catra: *grins in satisfaction*

just look at her

the fuckin. lack of subtlety here. as always. *chef's kiss*

("ugh they didn't HAVE to be so obvious don't you think it's Too Much" listen I've literally seen people who've watched Arcane be surprised to find out that people are shipping Vi and Caitlyn. "Really? I didn't think that was romantic." You didn't? Did we watch the same fucking show??? The one where those two have romantic tension so thick you could carve it with a KNIFE? The one where they had an overdramatic breakup scene in the rain even tho they hadn't kissed or anything? The one where they lay on Caitlyn's bed and talked about Vi's past while making significant eye contact and holding hands and Caitlyn pet Vi's face? That scene where they hug on the bridge and Vi does that like, face pet thing before walking off and they're clearly both in AGONY at being separated?! Are you really that fucking oblivious??? Jesus H Christ. Yes She-Ra made it SUPER OBVIOUS because some people are BAD AT PICKING UP THIS SHIT also She-Ra is aimed at kids and they haven't learned subtlety. Arcane was aimed at adults.)

no really I've seen people express surprise that people think they're going to be a couple. when that ^ was after they'd known each other like two hours

(seriously tho, if you can handle violence (there's a LOT ngl, it is not a show for kids) then you should watch Arcane, the people who make it have made it pretty clear that it's gonna be canon, and the next season is out in November; but also leaving shipping aside it's just REALLY, REALLY GOOD)

ANYWAY back to other animated lesbians

lol Glimmer teleports them all again without warning and Catra really does look like she's gonna hurl

And Erelandia ain't looking so good, oops

(but also yes Adora helped Catra up again)

intro is the same as the last episode

AHAHAH a dozen planets are rebelling against Horde Prime he's so pissed. And they apparently all mention She-Ra

yeah I am again surprised at how much of the actual plot I forgot lol (but I remembered that Glimmer liked to sneak into the kitchen to eat cake with her hands. Y'know. Important things.)

given his tiny facial reactions I think that's Hordak-Hordak. Our Hordak. Not the Wrong Hordak. I think.

once again I ask myself: where did y'all get those outfits

Entrapta teaches Wrong Hordak how to wink and it's so cute. I also love that she explains what it means--because I'm sure she had to consciously learn it, too: "It signals unspoken intent behind my words. In this case, our mutual deception of the Horde. Now you try."

awww

but yeah everyone in town is terrified and won't talk to them, and especially doesn't want to talk about any princesses

"should I buy property here?"

"...go team."

C'MON THAT WAS FUNNY, GUYS

Also, note to self, Melog definitely understands human speech--they split up, Catra is told to stick with Entrapta and Melog (and Catra frowns at this, just barely) and Adora tells Melog to keep them safe and it does a little noise of affirmation. (wait is Melog a he or a she or a they?)(fan wiki says it's an it but dang I feel weird using "it")

Okay so the scene where Glimmer, Adora, and Bow hide in a shop and then end up arguing with the shopkeeper is like, fascinating on multiple levels

Because on the one hand: I can't blame the townspeople for just keeping their head down and trying to get out alive. On the other hand, reporting them to the Horde isn't cool; they could just pretend not to be suspicious of these guys; there are in fact lots of places on the spectrum between "actively collaborating with one's oppressors" and "mounting a full-scale armed rebellion."

But on the other other hand I also think it's interesting that Adora's the only one of the three who's like "nah dude just let these people live their lives omg," something about Adora having lived in an oppressive environment for her whole childhood maybe

poor Adora someone get her an ibuprofen

Anyway Spinerella found them ack

Also Melog steals an apple for Catra, just magically takes it from someone's basket and into Catra's hand, which implies they're communicating non-verbally more than just moods, though I suppose "hungry, that apple looks good" is a mood

speaking of things that would make ANYone motion sick--

(Adora is saying it) Catra's right there, dude. You spent the last four seasons fighting her. lol.

Oh I paused it too soon lol Catra says this line:

LOLOL

Back on Horde Prime's ship, Hordak keeps looking at the chip thing Entrapta gave him and gets caught by Prime, whoopsie

oh hey, lore: Horde Prime can't access ALL the memories in his previous bodies without going into them, and he keeps his old bodies around in that green goo, that's fucking weird and gross, anyway he plugs a connection into his old body

Horde Prime: "The First Ones sought a new source of power of ancient worlds. Why? Why bend themselves to the whims of magic and myth?"

Poor Hordak has flashbacks to Entrapta and the Fright Zone. Mostly Entrapta. Including a moment of her looking at him fondly--I think it's the moment when she says "Imperfection is beautiful."

Horde Prime: "The fools took their secrets with them when they died. But I will find another way."

(I've seen a fan discussion suggest that there aren't actually any First Ones left--that when Light Hope made it so Adora came through the portal, the portal itself went back in time. I like that explanation in part because it means in my fic I don't have to figure out why Adora doesn't go looking for her birth family. Which tbh most fic-writers don't worry about anyway lol.)

Back with the rebellion, poor Catra is once again trying not to lose her lunch because they've all teleported.

And Netossa is like WTF IS THAT BITCH DOING HERE

Melog doesn't like that

Adora: "It's a long story, but she's with us now" Netossa: "...really??" (Catra in the background: hisses)

BAHAHA and then Netossa spots Wrong Hordak and they have to explain, no that one's with us, too 😬

But yeah p much the entire rebellion has been chipped except like Netossa and Perfuma

Adora and Bow have a guilt trip about having been gone for so long (...to rescue the queen! and also Catra)

and Catra's remembering what it's like to be chipped :(

Glimmer gives them all a ra-ra little speech

Adora just makes the sword appear in her hand without transforming lol that's cool

but they're doing the "I'm in" "yeah me too!" thing and

like, on dates?

(lol)

yayyy

Anyway the team heads back to Erelandia and starts kicking some ass

there's a great moment when Catra's like "you go deal with Spinnerella we'll take care of the bots" and Adora says "be careful" and Catra grins and says "always am!" like ma'am that is a LIE

Spinnerella is torturing some poor villager, and Netossa is worried her wife isn't still "in there"

Adora would know. From literal, personal experience. ;_;

She transforms into She-Ra and Netossa literally does a whistle of appreciation and says, "New look?" and She-Ra grins back. And somehow that is, like. Super queer. Like literally just one lesbian to another, in a flirty-but-not kinda way. Like I have *had* those interactions, where the underlying meaning is "I know we're each in a relationship, so I'm not actually hitting on you; but as one queer woman to another I want you to know that I see what you're putting out there and I like it." It's one of the best things??????

Netossa gives a little speech to Spinnerella about how she loves her and Spinnerella actually comes back for a few seconds ;_; but then she's gone again, but She-Ra and Netossa convince her to disappear for a while at least? And the locals rejoice.

And Catra would know. ;_; (She rubs the back of her neck after saying this.)

Anyway word gets back to Horde Prime that She-Ra is back on Etheria :D and he's so fucking pissed he's going to go there

...and Hordak spends a long moment looking at that chip from Entrapta again

They go to where the rebellion is actually hiding out, Glimmer and Catra recognize it

and I'M BLANKING ON WHY THEY'RE REACTING THIS WAY HELP seriously I have spent like ten minutes trying to figure it out, I don't think they talked about it while on Horde Prime's ship? Fuck!! IF YOU KNOW PLZ TELL ME

Any Perfuma ties them up and makes sure they're not chipped and then it's Happy Reunion Time with everyone :D

Adora to Catra: it's time for you to meet everyone Catra: are you sure??

I got that one without trying I didn't know it was coming lololol I was trying to get a shot of Catra looking hopeful

poor thing

Adora: long story but she's with us now!!!

Adora (well, as She-Ra) gives them all a little pep talk

ANNND EPISODE OVER

and I don't have time to do another one tonight and I won't have time tomorrow until like after 6:30pm aaaaaaugh

ON THE UPSIDE I only work two days this upcoming week.

Because it's Holy Week. I'm going to be in church like every day starting Wednesday and twice a couple of days ahahaha including an hour in the middle of the night on Thursday.

It is DEEPLY HILARIOUS to me that I'm going to end up watching the last episodes of She-Ra mere days before Easter. Like I literally have four left. Assuming I watch one tomorrow, I could end up watching the next one Tuesday night and watching the last two BEFORE GOING TO CHURCH ON WEDNESDAY how tf am I gonna focus for SHIT lolol

#april rewatches spop #an ill wind

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softmoonlightmelody · 1 year

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quick thing: this is perachabeth. and also percabeth-critical.

In my head, Percy and Annabeth truly do love each other. But they break up.

Okay, they're seventeen and stupid and right now, they're too codependent and Annabeth's realizing that physical violence, despite growing up with it, is really messed up for a relationship, any relationship. Percy's also realizing this, so they both decide, after a conversation one day, to break up and work on themselves a little bit. They're still best friends. They don't talk to each other as much and have less alone time, and they also decide to stop living with each other. Just... separation.

Two years later, they're both nineteen and thinking that they should let them be a thing again. They're still in love as ever, just significantly less codependent and less violent.

Then Rachel comes into the picture.

On account of wanting to live a little, Apollo and her decide to try to find a replacement. And Rachel visits Annabeth and Percy at that point, and they're talking again, and it's all good. Annabeth and Percy are back together.

A year later, three years after the mutual breakup, Rachel finds the next oracle.

It's amazing for her. She's free. She, Percy, Annabeth, and Grover - the four of them, just being happy, go out for drinks. And Grover, being Grover, notices that he's a fourth wheel. Like a fourth wheel on a tricycle.

Grover knows that the other three don't realize it, but the change becomes more obvious the longer Grover looks.

Rachel, Annabeth, and Percy have movie nights and Rachel's cuddled between Annabeth and Percy? Well, it's just comfortable.

Rachel, Annabeth, and Percy go to the New Years party at camp together? Oh, it's because Annabeth and Percy didn't want Rachel to feel alone.

Soon enough, their other friends start to notice it too. Annabeth and Percy call Rachel things like "love", "dear", and "darling", nicknames that used to be exclusive to them.

So, that's how, two years later, the first development happens.

One day, Grover comes to Rachel, Annabeth, and Percy's shared apartment, and Rachel isn't there.

Annabeth and Percy are still completely oblivious, but Grover talks about it with them.

Then they decide to attempt seduction.

Spoiler alert, it doesn't work.

Rachel's been torturing herself by pining for two halves of a happy couple, and it's slowly eating her up inside.

Then one day, they go to a bar or something. And when they head home, they just stumble into bed together, and immediately fall asleep.

Rachel wakes up with Percy hugging her side and Annabeth curled next to her, and panics. Percy doesn't let go, and Annabeth just snuggles closer, so Rachel leaves it and falls asleep again.

Next time she wakes up, she's alone in bed. She fell asleep between a heads-over-heels couple, and she's screwed.

But then Percy and Annabeth talk to her.

And there's crying.

But five years later, Annabeth and Percy are standing at the altar, watching Rachel walk up to them, and it's perfect.

Grover is Percy's best man. Thalia's Annabeth's maid of honour, and surprisingly, Drew is Rachel's maid of honour (because Rachel and Drew are besties in my mind).

And it's beautiful.

And all three of them look back and think yeah, this is what I want.

I might actually turn this into a multi-chaptered fic, starting from Annabeth and Percy talking and deciding to get together again.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #pjo #grover underwood #rachel elizabeth dare #perachel #percabeth #rachabeth #perachabeth #ot3 #i just love this three #and grover my beloved <3

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thatdesklamp · 4 months

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lol my bad, sweets.

When I asked for fics I was mostly asking about jjk fics, but since you don't have those, maybe just what fics really REALLY does it to you in general. Personally I'm in multiple fandoms and I'd appreciate a good read. so really, anything. Like ur fav fics ever and ever.

Muah muah 😚😚

AHHHH I see I see

Yeah I don’t really read many jjk fics! Shocker, lol. Mainly because none of the main ships have really reeled me in (this includes satosugu… sorry, I’m just not a geto girlie…)

As for some general fic recs, I can happily oblige! (Most are haikyuu. That fandom shaped me as a person.)

‘campfire in your chest’ by deanpendragon: my all-time favourite fic ever. The fic that started it all: this is the reason I love friends-to-lovers, folks. Slowburn, mutual pining, everything I’ve tried for with IW was done first and done best here. I have reread this fic so many times that it feels nostalgic now. So, so incredibly beautiful. I will read anything by deanpendragon, but especially recommend ‘the certain things we lack’.

‘Then, Now, and Again’ by buttonstuck: I love so many of buttonstuck’s works but this is probably my favourite: poignant and so realistic, about getting together post-breakup and exploring what lead to the breakup in the first place. I loved the way it used time, and its structure was a huge inspiration for my other fic, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’.

‘Close to the Chest’ by darkmagicalgirl: Again: slowburn, coming of age, and really candid explorations of grappling with homophobia as a teen that did, in fact, make me a lil teary eyed.

‘Written in the Stars’ by Quixoticity: the pining. The pining. I remember reading this and thinking—oh, God, this is what I was going for with IW. I love soulmate aus with worldbuilding and angst and complexity (again, if you’ve read SDG you’ll know lmao) and this fulfilled everything.

‘Hemingway Can Suck It’ (orphan account): okay, this is just so funny. The premise is just giggle-inducing and I had to stop so many times to do the whole kicking-feet thing.

‘Spite’ by wellitcouldbeworse3: if you’re looking for a Levi x reader, literally look no further. I have such a soft spot for this fic (spot me in the comments!) but it truly is *that* levi fic from *that* levi author. A plethora of other fics, too (let me recommend ‘As The Spark Dies’ if you enjoyed the angst of IW).

There are so many more but these are the ones I’ve got off the top of my head. You’ll be able to tell that I have a genre of fic that I like, lmao. (I’ve also done a book rec list if you’re interested—it should be under the ‘book rec from me’ tag below) <3333

#I binged teen wolf over the holidays lmao I’m not sorry #book rec from me #ish #asks from la lamp de desk

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sapphire11 · 1 year

Text

all the words you didn't mean for me to hear

Part 2 of 'Secret Messages' a Break up era Tarlos fic Read Part 1 Here

Hello Again Everyone! Still posting this fic in 'mini' parts here on tumblr before releasing the whole thing on ao3. (still mostly because I need some encouragement and validation despite not feeling ready to publish it yet there and you all have always been supportive) Think of this as a little gift for being wonderful followers/mutuals 💛

Counting this as my Seven Sentence Sunday (Sneak Peak Sunday in my world) Thanks so much for the tags @ramblingdisaster73 & @ravens-words

Thank you to everyone who reached out with encouragement and kind words on the last part! (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or my Tarlos fics) @chaotictarlos @firstprince-history-huh @bubblesandroses8

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes in his mind as he shoves open the door to the stairwell.

We could lose him.

His own voice is too loud in his head. Drowning out all others. Nancy’s reassurances, Captain Vega’s attempts at hopeful optimism. They’re all lost in the terror that grips him by the throat.

We could lose him.

His own voice shaking with fear that he doesn’t want to feel anymore. He needs to feel something else. Anything else. So he collapses on the top step of the stairs and roughly pulls out TK’s phone, headphones coming with it.

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes and he needs to drown it out with another.

Hey babe … shit. Let me just …. *background noises, buttons being pressed rustling …

Hey Carlos.

He turns and settles his back against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, closing his eyes and allowing TK’s voice to block out everything else.

How are you? I hope you’re doing okay. Nancy let me know that she’s still in touch. I’m glad; even if I think she only told me because she’s trying to get more information out of me about why we … well about what happened.

I hope that you are letting our friends be there for you. They’ve been trying to be there for me. Even as scattered as we all are at work. Paul still texts. Marjan sends me funny memes. Mateo begs for Marvel movie nights every time we have a night off together. It’s not the same, but it’s something. Plus, Doctor Matterson has been telling me to lean into those friendships; to that support. It helps. Sometimes.

On one hand it is worrisome that TK is so freely admitting that he’s struggling in these messages. On the other hand, he is grateful that TK still in some way was turning towards him, trusting him with the truth of his feelings. Of course he wishes that he’s trusted him at the time, but he knows how much it must have cost TK to admit this even in a message. He knows how even saying the words out loud can feel like you are giving them power over you.

At the same time, he thinks about the way he pushed everyone away during the breakup. He didn’t want them to have to choose, he wanted TK to be able to vent and have people that were safe, away from Carlos, as TK seemed to want to keep them apart. He should have had more faith in his ex, in TK, in person he has always known him to be. Of course he’d want Carlos to have the same support, and of course he wouldn’t tell them anything.

Other times it honestly just makes me miss you more. But I’m trying and I hope that counts for something.

It counts for everything, because if only in this hollow, cold, hospital stairwell, Carlos can admit that he didn’t try. He just gave up. Let the anger build inside him until there was nothing left to do, but to pretend to forget. To pretend to move on.

Just wanted you to know that I’ll be okay. That you don’t have to worry, because I know you. I want you to be okay too, so take care of yourself Carlos. Let our friends be there for you; it’s the least you deserve.

It’s the least you deserve

Those words burn into his mind, like the flash of light when you look directly at the sun. They’re all he can hear for a long time.

He knows that TK left this message months ago. That he was alluding to the fact that Carlos doesn’t deserve to deal with what TK would call his ‘fucked up brain and mess’. But listening to this message now, it almost feels prophetic. It is as if TK is telling him that there is no other choice, but to lean on their friends.

If the worst comes to pass and TK doesn’t come back to him, he’ll try to take care of himself, for no other reason than because TK asked him to. Asked him in some stupid message recorded months ago in the middle of a communication drought, but it feels important. Moreover, it feels like the truth. TK asked him to take care of himself and now there might be no other options.

TK’s wisdom about leaning on their friends propels him back towards the ICU waiting room. He finds Nancy and Tommy in the same chairs he left them, only now Mateo and Judd have joined them.

“Hey man.” Judd nods, he’s the first one to notice him, and as he shifts off his spot leaning against the wall, Carlos freezes in place. Despite being compelled to come back, and feeling the itch to follow through with TK’s plea of letting their friends be there for him, he feels out of place. It’s been so long since he occupied the same space as all of these people that mean so much to TK, and it’s impossible to ignore the real reason why they’re all here together now.

Judd watches him carefully, slowly making his way over with the look born of way too much knowledge surrounding grief. Carlos finds himself engulfed in the warmest hug he’s felt in a long while, the older man’s arms wrapped completely around him, shielding him for just a moment. When Judd pulls back and pats a hand on his shoulder, the look of understanding on his face brings tears to Carlos’ eyes. He can’t stand to look at it anymore as he turns towards the rest of the group who are doing their best imitation of not watching the spectacle.

“Hey Carlos,” Mateo greets him with the least amount of exuberance he’s ever heard from the kid and a soft, careful hug. “We’ve missed you man. Just wish –” he stutters, a shifty glance thrown in the direction of TK’s room.

“Me too, Mateo,” Carlos offers, “Thanks for coming. I know TK would appreciate it.”

“We’re here for you too.” The fierce insistence in Mateo’s voice is a clear holdover from other times. From months of Carlos’ absence in not just TK’s life, but all of these people’s. For the first time since the break up Carlos allows himself to feel the grief of the loss. The weight of it pulls him down and he sinks into the chair between Nancy and Tommy. Allowing them to take his hands in theirs again, except this time he doesn’t pull away.

Mateo and Judd excuse themselves sometime soon after that, with mentions of needing to get some rest before starting a new shift early tomorrow. It’s a stark reminder that the world outside the walls of this hospital marches on. He wishes he had the power to slow it down, prevent the inevitable ending that hangs over him.

“Want to go grab some coffee?” Nancy’s voice breaks through his dark thoughts and he meets her gaze before turning towards the room that holds his heart. He knows what he wants to do.

“I’m gonna go sit with TK.”

He feels Nancy follow his gaze and her hand landing on his shoulder. “I’ll grab you something,” she promises as they both get up and without a second glance he’s striding up to the door to TK’s room. Nothing has changed since the last time Carlos entered this room, the quiet slide of the door opening allows for the sounds inside to reach his ears. His heartbeat kicks up at the too slow, unsteady rhythm of the heart monitor. It brings him back to nights laying tangled up on the couch with TK, fingers and lips finding pulse points. The always higher than average beat of TK’s heart, that Carlos took great pride in making speed up with a well placed kiss.

As he settles into the chair next to the bed, the hiss and click of the ventilator surrounds him. Wrapping around him like a noose, cutting off his access to the very thing that gives him life. It’s not air though, no that thing is TK, his liveliness, his energy, everything that makes up that man Carlos loves. Desperate to hear something else, besides everything that is wrong, he pulls TK’s phone out of his pocket.

Opening the app he thinks how it’s better to listen to these now, while there is still hope, rather than later when they’re the words of a ghost.

November 6th, 2021

Hey Carlos, is it weird if I tell you I saw you on a scene today? Probably. Sorry. You looked good. Really good. I’m glad you seem to be doing okay.

Startled at the thought that he looked good at any time during the break up, Carlos tries to remember what shift that would have been, but the days blur together in his memory. He’s suddenly sad that he can’t remember the last time he saw TK at a scene before the disastrously awkward meeting earlier that day.

Doctor Matterson has been encouraging me to reach out, try to talk, but I haven’t told her that I walked out and then ghosted you. I did tell her that I definitely don’t have the right to come waltzing back in, now that I finally have some shit figured out.

She says that having the conversation might do us both some good. Help us move on. Find closure. I think that it’s just easier to keep the door as firmly shut as that day I walked out. Am I a coward for that, probably, but at least I’ll survive to tell the tale.

Move on. Find Closure. Survive to tell the tale.

He wonders why TK’s words always land like an arrow to his heart. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to move on after this. Find the closure that TK alludes to in his message. He wonders if TK felt like he was finding closure all those months ago, or if he was just pretending like Carlos was.

The anguish he feels hearing TK tell him that he thinks it would be better to keep the door shut. That TK forgot he held the key to every door Carlos ever had, all he had to do was come back, be there, talk, and Carlos wouldn’t have kept him out.

Mind whirling, the sounds of the medical equipment grow louder again and Carlos clicks the next message.

November 8th, 2021

“Hey. So I’ve been keeping busy.

TK’s voice floats over him as he stares unseeing at the body lying in the bed, unconsciously he closes his eyes, imagining the voice is coming from the man himself.

Work has been good. Steady.

Scaled down to therapy twice a week. Meetings. I’ve been trying.

Some days I think it’s working, but then I remember how good we had it before and how that blew up in my face. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m okay. That I’m not giving up.

It’s such a short message, but the tone of the message is different from all the previous ones. The tone of TK’s voice pitched up, an attempt at lightheartedness. It’s not quite sincere, but there is a flicker of truth underneath it, like TK maybe had started to believe some part of what he was saying, that he wasn’t giving up.

Carlos longs to reach out and take TK’s hand now, to beg him to keep fighting, to not give up. Old insecurities hold him back, but he moves the chair a bit closer, the legs scratching loudly across the floor, and then he leans closer still as he hits play for the next message.

November 10th, 2021

Dad left. Said he was sorry he couldn’t do more for the 126 and just ran away into hill country. I want to be so mad at him, until I remember that running is exactly what I do, did, have done. I don’t know. Some days it sucks to be a Strand.

And just like that all traces of hope are washed away again. Sucked out by the force of Owen Strand’s distinct lack of ability to be what TK needs when Owen himself is struggling to not be the hero everyone else sees him as. Anger stirs in the pit of Carlos’ stomach at the reminder that no one has been able to reach Owen since TK was admitted. That he’s not here now when TK needs him, and that he apparently hasn’t been for a long time.

It’s a kick in the gut that despite TK’s own words several messages ago that Owen could tell he wasn’t doing well, the man still couldn’t face being just what TK needs if he couldn’t be what he wanted.

Mom’s been trying to get me to go visit her. She’s got Jonah and can’t travel, otherwise I know she’d be here right now. She’s worried. She’s also pissed, I heard her yelling at dad through the phone. It didn’t change anything though.

Nothing really ever changes, does it? At least not the things that matter.

The words are a clear contradiction to who TK is at his core. TK has never believed in permanence of situations/people/feelings, sometimes to the detriment of believing that nothing good ever stays, but he always believed that things could change.

Once, TK had told him that ‘nothing ever stays the same’ and now he’s saying that ‘nothing ever changes’. He supposes the sentiments aren’t necessarily the same, but the lack of hopefulness in the words blankets him. Even at his most wary, even when he was pushing and pulling Carlos in every direction, TK never completely disregarded the possibility of things changing.

In the beginning TK had told him he wasn’t ready. Not that he wouldn’t ever be ready.

Before the solar storm TK told him that he needed to figure out himself before he could figure them out. Not that he would never be willing to figure them out.

With Carlos’ parents, TK promised to be whatever he needed, until he was ready because, nothing ever stays the same and he had faith in Carlos being ready sometime.

After the fire the number of times TK comforted him by reminding him that living with Owen wouldn’t be a forever thing, that things change.

During their last fight TK had shouted that he knew it wouldn’t last, that nothing ever stays the same. At the time it had just hurt to hear those words that Carlos once took reassurance from used against him. Now he is hit with the realization that TK hasn’t had anything permanent. He hasn’t had anything stay for him, not his parents, not his sobriety, not his love.

Carlos wants to be the one to change that. Same as he always has, but now with a new understanding of why TK doesn’t believe happiness will last.

With that thought he clicks play on the next message.

#ali writes #secret messages #tarlos break up era fic #tarlos #tarlos fanfic #carlos reyes #tk strand #3x03 #911 lone star #911 ls fic #part 2 secret messages

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insidethekaleidoscope · 2 days

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Give the flowers, 13, 14, 20!

13. Favorite line of dialogue and what inspired it:

Ok, I'm having a hard time picking, but I'm going to go with this bit from Flo, because I just really love writing Flo.

“Looks a bit like the house went through a bad breakup and decided to cut its own fringe,” she said with an evil grin. She wasn’t wrong. While he had managed to at least cut the vines back out of the way, the shape of the plant had now taken on a rather abrupt and choppy angle, a bit like a botched haircut. Lockwood raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. “I didn’t realise you were a landscaping connoisseur. Seems like a bit of a lost calling, then, living on a boat.” She grinned wider. “Oh no, I’m no expert when it comes to landscaping, but I’ve got existential crises pretty well on lock, and this house, my friend, is three glasses of wine deep wondering if she should just quit her job and go live in that little cottage she saw once when she was hiking in the Swiss Alps.”

I just love that Flo can be completely unapologetically weird but also perceptive at the same time. Flo and Lockwood have this understanding of one another where there's a bit of mutual worry, but they're never coddling one another, so I wanted to put something in that was both funny and highlighted their friendship as well as gestured at that worry. Also... I've spent plenty of time fantasizing about running away to just like garden in a little cottage so

14. Favorite line and what inspired it:

Now he was thinking again of the roses and the fact that they had been loved first by his father and then by Jess and then managed to survive neglected all of those years until they were there for him today to pick and give away. And there it was again: that feeling of a circle closing, but this time it wasn’t the inexorable looping around of death, more so a subtle, patient revelation. Life changing shape and persevering.

When I wrote this I was thinking about all the times that Lockwood's family's possessions served to protect him, to guide him, to help him express his love. I love this idea of their love for him enduring on through what they left behind. He's very much feeling their absence in this fic, so I wanted him to have this partial revelation where he's starting to see some of the ways in which they're still with him. It's like he's suddenly able to see what was there all along.

I was thinking of the roses as a parallel to Lockwood himself as well, both of them persevering, for years trying to grow alone and unguided, but still persevering and carrying on the love of the people that raised them. And now he's caring for them, just as he's trying to care for himself, and he's finding this love within himself that he's now able to give away as well.

I also read this Andrea Gibson poem around the time I was writing this, so this set of lines was also definitely rattling around in my head.

"My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones, Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples, I am more with you than I ever was before. Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night gathering sunflowers into your chest the last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling lighthearted."

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

This is an interesting one. I think one thing that I thought about while writing was this parallel between Lockwood and Lucy in this fic where they're both kind of stuck waiting, and they both are struggling with this combination of hope and dread - Lockwood still ruminating on the possibility of seeing Jessica's ghost, Lucy knowing that she left home for very good reasons, not really wanting to dive back into that family dynamic, but still wishing that her family cared to fix it. Then the case is an amplification of that, the visitor forcing them into this agonizing state of anticipation, waiting on something that is just largely out of their control. Lucy's relationship with her family and her home town just really fascinates me. One of these days I gotta write something that focuses more directly on that.

#thanks bestie :)#lockwood & co #chekhov's emotionally loaded roses #ask game

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halfmoondaze · 2 years

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Hi! How have you been? Hope you have been well💕 I'm Absolutely in love with your stories there really amazing!! and I was wondering if you can do another break-up with Jack but the reader is mentally attached to him and won't let go no matter how hard she tried?

If not it's ok! I just wanted to let you know that I love your work!!💕

Wilted

authors note: when writing this fic, I thought of this as a part 2 of my previous fic Last Goodbye, however, you can read it by itself. thank u for requesting @cvamri! I hope you like it

Even though going through this breakup was a mutual decision, Y/N couldn’t help herself from feeling stuck.

Suddenly it felt like she had made a mistake as she craved his attention and being with him.

Maybe she was being needy and selfish but she couldn’t help herself. It was her fault for being obsessive and loving too hard. What she was afraid would happen when going through a relationship had finally come through.

Even though she would date around with guys, it never got to the point of lasting more than a month or being serious. So, Jack was her first real serious relationship, and to say she was scared was an understatement. They had the most couple of weeks together, and even though everything was running smoothly she couldn’t help herself from growing anxious or feeling too much. And eventually, she started to find reasons to not be with Jack and go as far as to sabotage her relationship.

She would find reasons to stay busy and cancel dates. Jack at first was understanding, but then they started arguing. Then didn’t yell, they just talked; however, Jack always felt he wasn’t being heard or understood and he would grow frustrated. It would always get to a point where both of them would have to step away from the situation to not let this escalate into a full-on argument.

But as time went by, they started distancing from each other more and more, until they had to come to terms that they had to end this before they would end up resenting each other. It was a mature decision, but that didn’t mean it was less hard.

After he left through the door, she felt her whole world crumbling down. This was when things actually got worse.

She couldn’t help herself from looking up posts from him on Instagram. What started just as being curious escalated into an ongoing need to lurk on him any time she could. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help herself.

Her friends and family saw the impact the breakup had on her, and they tried to help her. But Y/N was in denial that she had a problem. Therefore, she found herself sinking more and more into a spiral.

“Ok, Y/N I think you have to stop” Y/B/F said as she found her going through her phone for the sixth time while attempting to have a conversation with her.

“What?” Y/N said confused as she looked up from her phone.

“I didn’t want to say anything, because I know what you’re going through is really hard on you, but if you want to get better you need to let go.” “I know…but I think I made a mistake-“

“Babe, you both did what you felt was right at that moment. Maybe the two of you would find their way to one another, but until then, you have to live your life”

Deep down Y/N knew she was right, but it was just too difficult for her.

“I know is hard, but maybe you should start by deleting Instagram from your phone? I can see how is taking a toll on your mental health”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded in response.

“I- I don’t think I can do that. Maybe you could do it for me?” Y/N asked handing Y/B/F her phone.

As she was about to delete the app, she got a notification. A DM from Jack.

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but I miss you. I’m in the city, I was wondering if we could meet up sometime?”

As she carefully looked up, she realized Y/N didn’t notice what had just happened. So without hesitation, she pressed the button and just like that, the app was deleted.

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x you #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow fluff #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack x y/n #jack x you #jack x reader #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow angst #angst

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teawan · 2 years

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Heyoo! Saw your post for fic ideas but I was wondering if you would mind doing a Byler forehead touch in the rain that evolves into a kiss? Something that mirrors the "It's not my fault you don't like girls" scene but less angsty and more romantically tense?

Then afterwards they hug and laugh or something, like, you can feel the relief when they realise all the tension (from the mutual romantic feelings) has been burst.

this one was a little tricky!!! i'm not really confident about the characterization (as always) but i do think it's pretty fluffy and hopefully satisfies someone's cravings for a sweet byler moment <3 enjoy!

Mike is staring at Will when the shrill ringing of the downstairs phone sounds, and he just barely manages to look away before Will’s head shoots up from where it had previously been bent over, studying one of Mike’s X-Men comics. Willing his heart to stop pounding like he’s a toddler who’s been caught with a hand in the cookie jar, he glances back over at Will in what he hopes is a nonchalant manner.

“That’s probably my mom,” says Will, seeing Mike’s questioning look at his peculiarly severe reaction. He grimaces slightly, as if tasting something bitter. “I think I forgot to tell her I was coming home with you today.”

Mike’s brain short-circuits at Will’s choice of words—coming home with you. He knows it’s nothing, because yes, Will had, in fact, come to the Wheeler house after school today instead of to his own home, so there’s nothing to read into. At all. But he can’t help but think back to the soap operas his mom watches at night after dinner, when the protagonist meets a tall, dark, and handsome mystery man in the bar after a breakup, and he asks her, word for word: what do you think about coming home with me tonight, darling? It doesn’t take much of an imagination to guess at what that kind of “coming home” implies.

But this is Will. William Byers, Mike’s best friend since kindergarten, and he should not be thinking this way about the boy sitting on his bed across from him; he shouldn’t be thinking this way about any boy.

He knows there’s something wrong with him, that he shouldn’t be thinking like this—he’s grown up with a father that scoffs and curses under his breath at the rare sight of two men doing something as simple as holding hands in public, with a mother that can’t even speak the word homosexuals or queers without glancing around and lowering her voice like it’s a dirty thing to say. Yes, he likes girls and their uniquely feminine beauty, the way their hips curve out gently, that indescribable pleasant girl-smell that seems to radiate from every female person he’s encountered, but that’s not all he likes. He’s stared at the men in the dirty magazines under Lucas’s bed just as much as, if not more than, the women. He shouldn’t be thinking like this, but yet, his thoughts race a million miles a second at that phrase leaving Will’s lips, those words shaped by Will’s beautiful, musical voice, directed at him.

He realizes Will has been watching him patiently, waiting for a response. His head is cocked to the side just slightly, like a curious puppy. Mike is certain that he is about to explode. “...Ah. Should we—”

Before he can finish his trainwreck of a sentence, his mother’s voice travels up from the first floor. “Will, honey? Your mother’s on the phone!”

“Yep,” Will says, as an answer to Mike or a confirmation to his own previous statement, Mike isn’t sure, and then slips off the bed, walking almost silently in sock-clad feet over to the door. He turns the knob, pulling it open, and glances back at Mike, looking expectant. “Aren’t you gonna come?”

“Uh, yeah! Of course,” Mike splutters, cursing himself silently. He is so far in over his head right now. If he keeps this up, the entire population of Hawkins and their mother will know about his big, fat, crush on Will Byers. He wishes he could shake out his head to clear it, like how dogs do after getting baths, but he figures that would only make things worse. Instead, he schools his face into the most normal, absolutely-not-attracted-to-his-best-friend expression he can, and stands as well, following Will through the hallway and down the stairs.

His mother is waiting for the two of them by the phone, and when she sees them appear, she says so into the speaker and then hands it to Will. He can only hear one side of the conversation, but it’s not hard to follow, since he’s been around for enough of Will’s interactions with Joyce that he has a feel of how a typical conversation might go.

“Yeah, sorry,” Will is saying quietly, looking down at his feet as he listens to his mother’s reply. “I forgot to tell you, but yeah. I’m okay. I’m with Mike.”

The first thing his mind jumps to when he hears those last two sentences from Will is that to the Byers boy, being okay and being with Mike is synonymous. His heart swells for a moment—I’m safe to him, he knows I’ll protect him—before he checks back into reality and realizes that, once again, he’s reading way too deeply into things. He doesn’t know what the hell’s gotten into him today—maybe the sight of Will sprawled out on Mike’s bed like he belonged there, fitting perfectly in like the last piece in the puzzle of Mike’s life, was too much to handle.

“Okay, okay, I got it,” Will says, voice tinted with a touch of exasperation. Clearly Joyce’s overprotectiveness is showing itself again, but, if he’s honest, he can’t blame her. Sometimes he catches himself worrying about Will a little more than maybe he should when the shorter boy is a couple of minutes late to school, or when there’s a hint of that glossy-eyed dissociation that takes Mike back to that night in the shed, with Will tied up like some kind of criminal, his best friend’s body taken by a sick, evil creature, when Mike had thought for one horrible moment that perhaps he would never again get to play Dungeons and Dragons with the only person he felt had ever really understood him.

“Calm down, Mom, I’m sorry. Look, I’ll head home now, alright?” With one last drawn out goodbye, Will finally hangs up, turning to Mike with a wry smile. “I have to go. My mom’s pissed off that I came over without telling anyone.”

“It’s cool,” Mike reassures him, “she’s just worried. I can understand why.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he wants to slap himself. He can understand why? That’s exactly the kind of thing that’s going to get him in trouble, the kind of thing that’s going to clue people in on his weird, twisted desires and make him lose Will forever.

Luckily, though, Will doesn’t seem to really process what Mike has said as thoroughly as Mike himself has, and just sniffs a laugh as he heads toward the door to the garage, where his bike is resting against the wall right next to Mike’s. Slightly disoriented, Mike trails behind him.

He slams into a wall.

Will spins around, startled at the sudden noise, and rushes to Mike’s side when he realizes what’s happened. “Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?”

Mike blinks once, twice, three times, head spinning a little from the impact, and waits until Will’s face comes into focus to reply. “Oof. Yeah. I’m okay, I, uh, lost my balance.” It’s a crappy excuse, and he just lays there on the ground, waiting for Will to call him out on it, but he never does. Instead, they stare at each other for a little a lot longer than what would be considered normal.

Will’s face is close enough for Mike to see every little detail: his eyes are this deep, beautifully smooth brown hue, a color that makes Mike imagine the taste of chocolate melting on his tongue—warm, silky, and decadent. He wants to tell that to the boy leaning over him, but the words are stuck in his throat because he can’t really tell what’s happening right now. Are these same thoughts circulating through Will’s head? Is he waxing poetic about Mike’s irises in his mind? Is he admiring the way Mike’s features are sculpted like they were carved by Aphrodite herself? Is he imagining what Mike’s lips would feel like pressed up against his own mouth?

Then the moment shatters. Will stumbles back, away from Mike’s face like he’s snapping out of a trance, face burning red and mumbling something that Mike can’t understand. He thinks it might be an apology. He wants to scream.

He doesn’t scream. In reality, he picks himself up off the floor casually, pretending not to see the deep red blush climbing up Will’s neck, and prays that Will has the decency to ignore the heat he can feel crawling up his own cheeks. Then, he walks on, taking the lead like the last two minutes didn’t happen, and listens closely to make sure he can hear Will’s footsteps behind him.

They exit the house silently, both avoiding each other’s gazes—Mike knows this because he’s taking every chance he has to steal a look at Will to see if maybe he’ll suddenly develop telepathic abilities and be able to read exactly what the Byers boy is thinking, and once or twice he catches Will turning his eyes away from Mike just a beat too late—as they make their way over to the corner where Will’s bike leans.

Will clears his throat awkwardly, making Mike jump a little. “Um, bye.” He doesn’t sound angry; more uncertain, as if he’s just as confused as Mike is. The thought that he might feel that way relaxes Mike a little. If they’re both stumbling blindly in the dark, then maybe it won’t be so embarrassing if he trips up and makes a mistake.

“Bye,” he offers back weakly, forcing a smile. It’s not that he’s mad or upset; he’s just far too bewildered to muster up a genuine one at the moment. Will smiles back, swings his leg over the seat of the bike, and, with one final glance back at Mike, who tries to look as reassuring as possible, he rides off.

He’s only just turned the corner and disappeared from Mike’s field of vision when the sky opens up and rain comes crashing down in gray sheets, hitting the ground so powerfully that drops of icy cold water travel what has to be at least two feet and splatter onto the front of Mike’s shirt.

His first thought is of Will—Will, who’s on his own in the streets in the middle of this downpour, trying to make his way home. Without any hesitation, he sprints out into the storm and in the direction of the Byers house, and only then does he remember that he’s dressed in just a thin t-shirt and jeans, both of which are not even remotely waterproof. Within a second, he’s soaking wet and dripping like a soggy Goldfish cracker in tomato soup.

Fuck it, he thinks to himself. It’s not like running back into the shelter of the garage is going to magically dry his clothes, so he forges ahead, sneakers squelching as he runs, rain running down his face and into his eyes like cold tears. He can’t really see anything at all, but that’s okay, because he’s been down this sidewalk enough times that his feet can recognize the texture of the familiar pavement beneath them.

“Will!” he yells uselessly into the watery world. It would be a miracle if anyone heard him over the incessant shh-shh-shh of the rain, but he keeps on calling his best friend’s name nonetheless, using his hand to block as much water as possible from his face. He’s not even actually quite sure of what he plans to do if he does manage to catch up to Will, but he isn’t really thinking all that clearly right now.

Mike slows when his lungs begin to burn from breathing in air that is more water than oxygen, and by now he thinks he might be screwed. He’s cold, really, very cold and wet, at least half a mile away from his home, and Will is nowhere in sight—he’s uncomfortable enough now to admit that maybe this was a bad idea. His fingers are turning numb. Turning blindly around in circles, he tries to decipher his exact location. He knows the general area that he’s in, but with the rain obscuring his vision, he can’t quite pin down where exactly he’s standing. Sighing to himself when he realizes that there’s nothing to do but wait for the rain to mellow out, he blinks hard a couple of times to dispel the excess water from his eyelashes and wraps his arms around himself in an attempt to conserve body heat—

“Mike!”

He’s so fucking freezing that he’s hallucinating. Wonderful.

Then the voice, Will’s voice, calls out again: “Mike? Is that you?” and Mike takes a moment to try and figure out if this is real or just a figment of his imagination. Before he can decide, though, a dark figure appears somewhere from his left. It grows closer and closer until Mike can make out the shape of a boy, a boy wheeling a bike towards him. “Will?” he asks, although he’s certain that this is his friend, his best friend who’s stopped on his way home to backtrack through a rainstorm just because he heard Mike call his name.

“Mike! What are you doing out here?” It is indeed Will Byers, usually-fluffy hair plastered to his skull and plaid button-up soaked through. Water is dripping from his chin, his hair, his dark, clumped-together eyelashes, and all Mike can think about is how warm, how alive he looks.

“H-hi,” he stutters back, and realizes that his teeth are chattering.

“Jesus, you’re freezing,” says Will worriedly, casting his beloved bike to the side carelessly so that he can get closer to Mike. He pulls Mike into a hug, attempting to rub some warmth into his shoulders, and Mike presses his forehead down to Will’s. The shorter boy’s skin is warm, a little chilled by the icy downpour but still at a considerably higher temperature than Mike’s. Will doesn’t react much, still putting all his effort into transferring as much body heat as possible to Mike through various methods. Finally, he settles for the full-body hug, locking his arms around Mike and moving in to create as much contact as he can between the two.

Mike just watches, so starstruck at this beautiful boy in front of him, fussing over him—maybe it’s the numbness in his extremities or maybe it’s the years of pent up feelings and urges but he’s so distracted that he can’t really even feel the cold anymore—that he doesn’t protest, or blush, or freeze up like he might if this were to happen anywhere or anytime else. Then, Will tilts his head up a little so he can meet Mike’s eyes and opens his mouth to ask what Mike assumes will be another query as to why he’s not home, and Mike moves before he thinks.

Will’s mouth is just as warm as the rest of his body, and it feels like heaven against Mike’s cold lips, reminding him of sitting in front of the fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate after coming in from a day of playing in freshly-fallen snow. Will tastes like cinnamon and peaches and boy, so different from anything Mike’s ever tasted before, and he’s mesmerized by the complex flavor that tastes like sunshine and cologne and a newly-mowed lawn—in a pleasant way—all at once. It’s at least three times better than the way girls taste.

And then Will’s kissing back, and Mike is completely sure that this is the best kiss of his life. There is no possibility of anything, or anyone, topping this feeling of pure exhilaration and giddiness that’s sweeping away any remnants of the wet chill from his bones. It’s gentle but insistent, the kiss, and, as if the universe is somehow synced to Mike’s feelings, the rain abruptly lightens to a much more reasonable drizzle.

Will pulls away, and Mike panics for a moment, but then he sees the wonder on the smaller boy’s face and any fear is erased from the pit of his stomach. He sees Will stare, at him, at the rain, at the water dripping off of the both of them, and suddenly he’s laughing, laughing so hard that he doubles over because he feels so light. As he clutches his stomach, peals of laughter escaping him uncontrollably, he hears Will start to giggle as well, a sweet, light, beautiful sound that makes Mike want to kiss him again and never stop.

He hadn’t realized how heavily these feelings had been weighing on him, on his friendship with Will—hadn’t realized that suppressing those thoughts and emotions had actually taken a toll on him, like someone had been gradually dropping rocks into his pockets as he struggled to tread water. Now that that weight is lifted, though, he can’t do much more than relish the floaty feeling in his body, the bubbly happiness that he doesn’t think he’s ever experienced before. A glance at Will confirms that the other boy seems just as elated, brown doe-eyes sparkling, and Mike recovers enough to pull Will into another kiss. This one is shorter, more of a drawn-out peck, but it’s just as awe-inducing as the one before it. “Guess what,” he asks Will when they part again.

Eyes wide and smiling, Will asks what.

“I’m in love with William Byers,” Mike tells him, and it’s like the clouds part in his heart, allowing sunshine to reach into every nook and cranny of his insides. “I’m in love with you.”

#fanfiction #one shot #byler #mike wheeler x will byers #fanfic #stranger things #text #fluff #first kiss #might be ooc #fic request #byler fluff #constructive critism welcome #kissing

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