#these characters would be judgmental and homophobic about it I fear.

[compacflt]

When it comes to historical research, do you research for things that DON'T exist? For example, foods that are common now but didn't exist in the average American restaurant or grocery in the '80s or '90's? Words, phrases, and entire concepts that are commonly accepted today but unheard of to the average American when Mav and Ice were at Top Gun?

Your writing is so unbelievably good.

not really because I don't care about food, I care about the literary device that is "taking communion." i.e. it doesn't matter what they eat, it only matters that they're eating together, for the plot.

And, okay, showing my little-kid bias, but was there actually stuff in grocery stores in the 80s/90s that wouldn't be there today/vice versa? brands might change, like okay Pringles might not exist but you still have potato chips; and obviously specialty stuff like what you find in your average Asian market might not be commonplace, but, like, were the 90s all that different from today, American-food-wise? its my assumption that they weren't, but I also wasn't alive in the 90s, so. Um, ectocooler Hi-C, maybe? that's the one 90s food I know.

attitudes of course are what change. today's concept of being so QUICK to publicly label sexual identities would be extremely foreign, for instance. obviously people did label their sexualities in the 80s & 90s, people were definitely calling themselves bisexual and such, but probably not the people ice & mav would be hanging out with, in the Reagan-era navy. which is what my fics are about. that's the whole point.

and, also, COMMUNICATION changes. I have never used a payphone in my whole life so I actually have no idea how they work. but they were ubiquitous "back then," and lend themselves to amazingly interesting conflict (omg I don't have enough change to call my boyfriend maverick who's mad at me!!!) which is why I lean on payphones so much in my writing. honestly, im gonna be real, the invention of the cell phone makes telling stories about miscommunication so much harder. instant-speed communication would make certain stories less interesting, which is why a lot of horror movies default to the "no cell service" trope to isolate their characters, or why some teen dramas have the characters reject cell phones on principle (Alyssa or James having a phone in 2017's "The End of the F***ing World" would solve most of their problems, which is why Alyssa smashes hers in the first five minutes and James basically says he views them as a cancer to society--if they had phones the story would be boring, so the writers took away their phones).

I also feel like people used to treat society differently "back then," i.e. Going Out was much more of a thing when there were 10 channels on TV and no one had cell phones, so you Went Out and had drinks & met strangers & interacted with general society to an extent im not sure we do anymore. So that experience is way more fun to write about in the 80s than today. (u can't see me but im seething with jealousy over ppl who were born in ~1965)

idk. im not sure I did a great job reproducing the zeitgeist of the 80s/90s in my fics, bc I wasn't there to have knowledge of what they were like. I got most of my presupposed knowledge about that time period from reading Calvin & Hobbes anthologies as a kid. oh well.

#I actively avoid talking about the aids crisis as much as I can for instance #that is certainly A Can of Worms. #a massive omission in my fics to be sure. but... not one I want to touch. #these characters would be judgmental and homophobic about it I fear. #btw I stole a bunch of stuff from teotfw for my fics #Carole asking ice if he actually wants maverick or if he just goes along with things is directly ripped from s1e02 #favorite tv show of all time #top gun #edts notes #from Calvin and Hobbes I gather most people in the 80s were obsessed with hostess snacks like Twinkies etc. #and dieting consisted of chainsmoking cigs on the front porch #bloom county was also a truly informative comic strip re: my 1980s cultural education #just the way characters like opus/Steve/binkley talk for instance #people in the 80s just talk different from the way they do now #fun to try and replicate even if I can't put it into words #my god I love bloom county #my birthday is tmr I will finally be old enough to legally drink in the US 😋 #thank u for the ask 🥺

[watermelonlovershigh]

I remember this girl saying the reason My Police Man wasn’t getting alot of promo from Harry was because his management is homophobic which doesn’t even make since because why would his homophobic management allow him to play gay man in a very gay movie

Exactly. I do think Harry wanted to play the role of Tom because he wanted to be able to express his queer side, even if through a character, without fear of judgment. His management wouldn't have allowed him to wear a dress on vogue if they were homophobic. His management wouldn't allow him to perform Medicine where he states he likes men and women. His management wouldn't have allowed him to go on a date with a man in the LNT music video.

I think the reason we don't see much of Harry's queer side is for either two reasons. The first being he just isn't ready to fully be open about that part of his sexuality. Or, though he likes men don't make it a whole personality trait and it doesn't define his everyday life enough to talk about. Harry may be like me where i'm sexually attracted to two genders but only romantically attracted to one gender. Maybe that's why we only see him with women because maybe that's what he prefers to date. (then again we don't know him well enough to confirm this.)

#anon

[sir-klauz]

I posted 2,886 times in 2022

That's 1,886 more posts than 2021!

808 posts created (28%)

2,078 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sir-klauz

@wizardpotions

@treesofgreen

@galactic-bi-cat

@tired-small-gremlin

I tagged 2,163 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#manga - 483 posts

#genshin impact - 302 posts

#anime - 197 posts

#requiem of the rose king - 126 posts

#mcr tag - 110 posts

#baraou no souretsu - 100 posts

#genshin posting - 99 posts

#mcr - 97 posts

#therapy game - 94 posts

#genshin impact forum - 94 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#‘you’re so happy and you love this so much dont you’ no i’m actually manic and can’t think can’t think right now n squealing to expel energy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

203 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#4

“Do your chores!”

Me: “ok..!” *adhd brain possession midway thru washing a bowl* *5 hours later* “how did I get up here”

210 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#3

𖤐 found in a charity shop, gorgeous 𖤐

254 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#2

How are you watching Heartstopper and taking in the entire plot whilst bullying the actor who has an undefined sexuality off of their own social media in the same way the story literally shows the bullies behaving. You’re quick to attack someone who’s not even defined. If this wasn’t a celebrity, and was alone, then deleting social media over this bullying could further isolate them, which if someone is queer, we get pushed into isolation enough as it is. It could be dangerous, it could result in much worse things.

God forbid someone might be bisexual as well, because all bisexuals are totally queer baiting fake gays and fake straights (sarcasm).

Someone said on Twitter: “If I was Kit Connor I wouldn't come out either. He's not exactly been welcomed with open arms."

And I absolutely agree, you’re creating an unsafe environment. Did you even watch the series properly? Look at yourselves.

The start and predominant part of the story is literally about a guy being forced out before he was ready and then experiencing bullying, fear and being alone pretty much for the rest of the school year until he met Nick.

It’s swinging to “you have to come out or else we will destroy your life” vibes yet even if he did, he would still very much have to experience homophobia straight away/bullying if he is, because it is still risky to come out in our society, and people can take as long as they want to feel like doing that. He’s comfortable in his sexuality, and that’s all that matters and it’s no one’s business but his but jumping to “faking it” to someone who doesn’t wanna define it, is 100% disgusting. You don’t know anything about what he likes so don’t dish your judgment, bully.

Come out and be attacked by homophobes or don’t come out and be attacked by us (tbh that behaviour in some cases is homophobic bc of the instant denial and bullying surrounding their potential queerness being real despite not even knowing them or anything).

9/10 queer baiting massacres I’ve personally seen have be towards queer people, or those who later come out as queer. Ya think?? Yeah lemme just make out with the same gender for the lols despite knowing it could end my career in this pretty homophobic industry.

Jessie J came out much later because she was told her career would be over if she came out as gay, and was barely “allowed” to come out as bi, many more older celebrities are finally able to come out now as well and have recently too, which shows how much the industry repressed them and how unsafe it still is and has been, to come out as a celebrity.

283 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It’s the Irodori grand festival in Inazuma and Venti just gets wasted and passes out the night before and turns up very confused on a ship the next morning

Credits: s_selyn

584 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ywhiterain]

on dean's bisexuality

"When pressed to tell a secret he would never, ever reveal to another person, Dean relates a story in which his teenage girlfriend made him try on panties - and he liked it."

Legacy, Hazel Domain

Is this a case for trans Dean? Because I got news for you, men liking and fetishizing women's panties is not generally a sign they're attracted to men.

As the seasons go by, this reading is legitimized as Dean grows less insecure and owns more and more of his real desires.

Legacy, Hazel Domain

Dean is not going to apologize for loving Finding Dory.

Over the seasons there are a lot of jokes whose punchline seems to be "Dean and Castiel are bisexual."

Excuse you, Sam has also been called Castiel's lover. He, unlike Dean, seems interested in fans shipping him with Cas. And, also, Dean and Sam have way more jokes about them being married to the point that there's a running gag of Sam being the female partner in heterosexual duos (Mikey and Mallory, Mulder and Scully, Bonnie and Clyde).

Queer fans are left standing alone, seeing their own struggle in Dean's fear of judgment, but unable to say so without criticism and condemnation.

Us malewife Samgirls are just as likely to see themselves in Sam's character. But we don't get as much criticism, in general, because Sam's never openly said he's straight like Dean. Dean is Word of God multiple times over, straight. Fans who go 'lalala can't hear you' are often mocked because people who refuse to acknowledge facts are easy to mock. And it's really fucking annoying to keep seeing over and over. Read Dean as bisexual! There's a long history of reading characters being intended as straight as queer. But that's not the intent and intent matters when you're arguing about what's gonna happen in canon.

And here's the rub, Sera Gamble wanted to make Sam bi, but she was shut down for homophobic reasons. This, right here, is a case of a character and a writer being shut down. But I don't see these LGBT activists arguing that Sam was silenced, despite that actually being a thing that happened.

Because it's about a ship. People wanted Dean/Castiel to be canon. The supposed erasure of Dean's bisexuality is just another cannon they can use in their ship war.

#supernatural #dean is straight truther #anti destiel #hazeldomain's book

[booasaur]

God people being angry bc the Hera died and the girls survive is one of the things I kinda expect it but surprise me.

And another anon:

people really are being like "actually literally everyone other than the lesbians were the best characters in fear street and it should've focused on them instead, but I'm not homophobic or anything" i don't know why i'm surprised

I dunno that many God people would be angry if Hera died... :P

But yeah, I get it. You know what, I'm gonna address a bunch of the complaints and comments I've seen. First: where is the media literacy?! What do people think they're watching? It's a slasher, most people, including likable, fun best friends, will die.

And despite how often this happens, I am surprised each time. I guess in this case I at least expected that with leads, as rare as that is, THEN they'd get a certain inherent sympathy that leads get. But the issue is, Certain types of characters have to earn it. The viewer actually starts off a little bit against them, waiting for them to justify their selection over someone more default in Western media.

This happens for a variety of people, in all kinds of combinations: men (and even many women) find it difficult to get women's viewpoints, straight people toward LGB people, cis people toward trans, white people toward POC, POC toward other POC, especially Black people. Even within groups, darker skinned people find it harder and it took me a very long time to feel the same empathy for desi characters as for white (in case you don't read my bio, I am desi).

Even people who've had one queer experience may feel judgmental toward other queer people, like recently we've seen a rise in frustration and annoyance with closeted people, right. The biggest victim of Sam's struggle with homophobia is not Deena, or even Peter, it's Sam! So many people act like closeted people are manipulating others for the joy of it, like it's a secret because of selfishness and not a deeply traumatizing fear! They're never granted that empathy, though. I've seen people call Sam boring and undeserving, meanwhile she's the girl who showed huge personal growth, fully came out to her scary mom, has a fun lowkey sense of humor, and made the decision THREE TIMES this night to die!

Now to Deena. Again, the way people view her from the outside instead of thinking, oh no, she has to try to force pills down her gf's throat and then drown her while hearing her best friends be killed, now she has to pick between her brother and gf, hoping that she'll be able to save both but possibly losing them. You know what it is, it's such a lack of good faith toward these characters. I said sympathy and empathy above, but really, it's simply not believing them of being capable of the same emotions and feelings as everyone else. There's this suspicion and bad faith jump to the worst motivations.

Like, other characters do this all the time? Prioritizing saving a loved one? There is almost no concept more generally pushed forward by Western fictional media than "a group that sacrifices the few to save the many means they don't deserve saving the many"?? That love and teamwork will always win out, that you don't give up or give in, that against all odds, every effort should be made to save everyone?

Speaking of which, going back to media literacy, I love Kate and Simon, enough to say that before the official airing, but the moment they were ready to sacrifice Sam? These movies don't forgive that kind of selfishness. Like, okay, usually that comes from very obvious bad guys, the kind of smirking, bullying jock that Peter was, who would normally survive to be able to pull something exactly like this and then be killed right when he thought he'd escaped but the movie playing around with tropes doesn't mean it's completely ignoring them.

It's funny, people talk about how bold media like GOT, The Boys, Succession, etc, are but really, where's the boldness when you know your audience is gonna eat up your straight white people doing shitty things? It's stuff like this, wanting your audience to like characters they normally wouldn't and allowing them to be messy, that is far braver.

HAVING said all that....thanks for letting me vent the thoughts that've been percolating, lol, but I don't think we should dwell on this. As hard as that sounds, because the more mainstream this is, the more ubiquitous the discourse and it's obviously more than just fiction, it's about the real life ways real life people relate to us, and clearly I have had a lot of thoughts about itttt, but let's not let them ruin it, eh? Get your frustrations out and then just have fun.

It's not our responsibility to try to defend or promote the movie or even, really, try to get its ratings up. It's incredibly unfair that we have to do that and surely media producers and neutral consumers expect things like review bombing and lack of audience sympathy and factor it in. We get two more movies, it's their loss if they can't enjoy them.

#>_> #I didn't mean for it to get this long #but I've been thinking on it since the 5th #and seen the comments even before that #replies #femslash related stuff #sent on 20210705 #sent on 20210706 #Anonymous #fear street spoilers #fear street #fear street part 1: 1994 #deena x sam

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I love that we as a fandom have declared the clem comic an noncanon lmao. i'm curious tho, do you believe clem will get a new love interest? do you think it will be amos or someone else?

Yeah, gotta love seeing a fandom come together to agree on something.... even though that something isn't exactly invoking happy feelings, y'know? Like yeah, the comic sucks and at this point I doubt the trilogy will be much better unless Tillie suddenly starts to understand Clementine and makes some impossibly massive improvements..... but it's nice to see all of us mostly getting along?

As for the whole love interest thing, I'm like 98% sure that Clementine's going to get a new girlfriend in the comics. That's my prediction.

During the dumb xpo thing, Tillie talked about how she's excited to explore Clementine as a queer character in the apocalypse and considering Tillie's other works, I will bet literal cash that Clementine gets a new girlfriend. I don't think Amos will be the love interest, and if he does end up being that for Clem or if Clem gets a boyfriend, then I will genuinely be shocked.

.....Y'know what, I need to get this off my chest and this seems relevant enough-

I was talking with my roommate about this the other night actually. I told her all about my predictions for Clem getting a new girlfriend and how annoying this whole comic is, but also how annoying people are being to Tillie over this and like.... everything is a mess.

My roommate, who knows that literally everything is wrong in the 12 page comic and who I told about the xpo where Tillie talked about Clem being queer is important, asked me how I would feel if she ended up getting Clementine's canon bisexuality wrong, and what if she decides to make Clementine a lesbian?

And like...... I actually stopped what I was working on because this wave of dread crashed through me at the thought of that, and I could actually imagine it happening because she already got everything else wrong and if she hasn't actually played the games and is pulling this shit out of her ass.... I can't even describe to you the feeling I felt...

I want to believe that Tillie would at least know and respect the fact that Clementine is a canon bisexual. From what I've gathered, Tillie herself is wlw and I don't believe she would erase a bisexual character. She knows that Clementine is a queer character. Clementine's bisexual.

Like obviously, if I'm right and Clementine gets a girlfriend, she'll still be bisexual. Nothing will ever change that.

But I'm going to tell all of you this right now because just thinking about it upsets me.... if for whatever reason, if Tillie Walden actually erases Clementine's bisexuality and makes her a lesbian in the graphic novel trilogy while "exploring what it means to be queer in the apocalypse," I'm done.

I will have nothing left for Tillie. I will no longer support anything she does. I won't condone harassment towards her because that makes you just as shitty, but I will absolutely call that bullshit out and then never support her again. I will never talk about the comic again because how dare you think you can get away with that and still expect me to waste brain cells on your comic? Hell, I will probably be so fucking livid that I'll drive my ass all the way to barnes and noble just to return the books I bought of hers.

Dramatic? Yeah, but y'know what? I've never really touched on this outside of a few "Clem being bisexual is important representation and we love it" but her being bisexual means so much to me. It truly does, I mean.... after the dumb "btw Javi is bi, we just wrote him straight and threw in a line of flirty dialogue with jesus so we can have our cake and eat it, too-- the straight homophobes will still buy our game and the lgbt+ community will love us, win win," I cannot explain the joy I felt when Clementine was written as a bisexual woman and that she was given two love interests that meant so much to the players.

Like.... I dunno, I never got any real bi rep in games or books or movies, especially bi girls, when I was a teen trying to figure shit out. In jr high and high school, I could never find stories that has bi women as a lead because I was too afraid to look anything up. I didn't wanna be caught reading/watching things that were lgbt+ because I had a shitty boyfriend at the time and our friend group were heavily religious and judgmental. My best friend [who I haven't spoken to for years now] was one of those people who claimed to support lgbt+ people.... but also once told me that she thought lesbians were okay but gay men were lowkey gross and probably only into other dudes because girls wouldn't date them. Oh, and I'll never forget the time she told me that bi people don't actually exist because you either like one or the other.

That's a great thing to here from the best friend you've know since you were an infant after you've realized that you aren't only attracted to boys.

But now I'm out of that environment and I haven't talked to anyone from high school since I graduated, and I've felt more free to intake all the things I wish I could've before...

I just.... Clementine is important to me for a lot of reasons. I've played these games forever, I've gotten to watch her grow for years, and she's just so well-written and amazing in tfs, and the fact that the writers wanted to write her as a bisexual woman means so much, I just.... even though it's not canon, I can't help but take this disaster of a comic personally. Just from those 12 pages, everything about Clementine is destroyed and it sucks. It hurts..... but I'm still not holding anything against Tillie herself. Her comic is bad, but that doesn't mean she's bad..... however, erasing Clem's bisexuality would be the last straw for me.

.....This turned into a rant. Sorry about that. You asked a simple question and I dumped my life story on you but I dunno, I needed to get that off my chest because it's been bothering the back of my mind.

I do wanna add once more that I don't think Tillie's actually going to do that... she should know that both Louis and Violet are canon love interests, plus Clementine canonically had a crush on Gabe in ANF. I think if she's going to get anything right, it'll be the fact that Clem is bi.... I'm just expressing a major fear I have and what it would do to me, and others, if it happened..... y'know?

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet

[hewasmadeofthegalaxy]

One older gay person to another—how did you feel about Broke back Mountain when it came out? 🥺👉👈 Because I kinda... didn't like it and I got called homophobic a lot because of it and I feel like you would at least not be judgmental about me feeling that way???

Oh I hated it and still do. That movie fucked me up and kept me in the closet single-handedly for years.

I watched it when I was in middle school and how rough they were with each other, especially at the beginning where they "fought for dominance" felt rapey as hell to me and scared the shit out of me, especially when my Cishet mother started nodding and saying it was "normal" for gay men to treat their lovers like that. The absolute FEAR that went through me at that. I'm glad I know now that it's not like that, but I didn't then.

Also, one of them dying in the end??? What the actual fuck??? I think it was even implied that Jake Gyllenhaal's character was murdered for being gay, but it has been YEARS.

Also, the whole movie feels like it was made for the Cishet gaze and not for the LGBT+ community and it's soooo uncomfortable. That movie, while it broke barriers in cinema, was CONSTANTLY used as proof by my homophobic family that gay men were disgusting savages who didn't deserve rights.

So no, you were never "homophobic" for not liking it, people can get bent with their performative bullshit.

It's a shit movie, no lie.

#tw: homophobia #brokeback mountain #man FUCK that movie #glad it broke barriers but honestly? don't understand how it did it was hella fucked #anon #ask #also #OLDER GAY?!?!?! #I'm not even 30 yet am i really an elder gay already?!?!

[toxicpineapple]

now im just curious abt rantaros relationships w the v3 cast.... mwahaha spill everything 🦟🦗🦟

hi anon! sorry for taking so log to reply to this, i knew i’d have a lot to say and i didn’t have the spoons to go off until now. FLKDJSFLkj here we go!

hehe! okay. so just as a preface, i’m like. REALLY into rantaro pairings. like. the only rantaro pairings i don’t like all that much are am*cha, rantaro/himiko, amaguuji (sorry lgbt community), and ranmugi. the rest i’m either open to or obsessed with. so like. bear that in mind when you read this.

i’m going to rank rantaro relationships by how much i love them so i can get an order to this (and also so i can do amamota last because i have a lot to say).

rantaro + korekiyo (2.5/10) oh gosh. kiyo, i’m so sorry a dumb bitch like me would do you like this. listen, amaguuji is a good pairing, just, objectively. i used to be super into it. but then the fandom crabwalked all over me with their amaguuji hurt/comfort fics and i got so Tired of seeing rantaro get treated like a security blacket... eugh. amaguuji is a good ship. i have written amaguuji, and would write it again, without prompting. i’m just... so tired.

they’d get along! obviously they would get along, we’ve seen their canon interactions, we’ve all slurped up as much rantaro tdp content as we were able to get, we know the tea. rantaro is passive and not easily creeped out, so he’d be able to look past all the unsettling things about kiyo, and similarly, kiyo is understanding and not pushy, so rantaro would be able to vibe around him without being asked about his secrets, or his travels, or anything that he doesn’t want anybody else to know. i like the aesthetic of them sitting around and drinking tea together, just, vibing like bros. kiyo infodumps to rantaro. rantaro fucking loves it. they’re best friends.

also like. they travel together. or whatever.

rantaro + kiibo (4/10) to be clear, i’m like, they’re cute, it’s just. i don’t have very strong opinions on kiibo as a whole FLKDJSFKLJDSFKDF kiibo is one of those characters who i kind of close my eyes on because to me he is just, he is very boring! he is very boring and i am so sorry to the kiibo stans who follow me, i have so much respect for you, i just have never had a kiibo thought in my life. they’re fun to write, though, i’ll tell you that.

kiibo is one of those characters who i think engages with you based on how you engage with him. i don’t mean that he’s a code switcher, (at least not a notorious one), but he’s emotional, and he’ll give back as much as you put in. if you treat him poorly, he’ll respond with anger and indignity. if you treat him with kindness and respect, he’ll respond similarly. which is why i think he and rantaro would really get along! rantaro is relaxed and kind and non-judgmental, and kiibo is the kind of person who needs chill vibes, so i think they’d have a lot of fun hanging out. rantaro is also the type of guy to get his friends a lot of gifts, and i think kiibo would be overwhelmed at like, the thoughtfulness that goes into that, and would grow really fond of rantaro accordingly. they’re sweet! amiibo rights, even if the first time i saw it my gut reaction was “wait, huh?”

rantaro + ryoma (5/10) this is another one of those ones where the rating was cucked because i don’t see a lot of them interacting and there’s not enough fandom content for me to really be in love with it. five is like, a solid neutral rating. i could swing either way. probably more for the positive though; i fucking love ryoma.

another one of those duos where they kind of just, vibe. honestly i don’t know if they’d get too close, if only because rantaro is gone so often he doesn’t really have the time to work on tearing down ryoma’s walls, and ryoma similarly is so tired he’s like, he doesn’t have the energy to try and figure out what the fuck is up with rantaro. unlike with amamota, rantaro and ryoma both have things that trouble them from their past, but the difference is that like, ryoma is so open about it? he’s not closed off. he won’t let people get close, but sure, he’ll tell them exactly why they shouldn’t. rantaro is the complete opposite, all sunny smiles and subject changes. this isn’t to say that they wouldn’t get along! i think they’d get along fantastically. sometimes when rantaro is just feeling so fucking tired, he’d pop by ryoma’s dorm for a candy cigarette and a casual conversation, and they’d chill. or maybe rantaro tells people to let ryoma have his space sometimes. just. vibing in solidarity. they’re bros! they’re bros.

and sometimes they kis--

rantaro + miu (6/10) full disclosure: i love them. leila i am so sorry that a dumb bitch like me would do this friendship like this. i’m just looking at the list and thinking “oh no i love them all” and when it comes to like, my favourite characters, unfortunately, miu had to go on the chopping block. i love them. feel like shit just want egg rp miu and rantaro back.

god! this is another one of those where like, rantaro isn’t judgmental (but he is firm!) so he and miu would get along really well. rantaro is really patient and he like, goes with the flow, so he and miu would be able to have conversations and he’d either shut down or tune out the sex jokes, actually carrying the conversation based on what she’s saying. miu is pretty chill, like, at least i feel like she’d be a really chill friend? so rantaro would be able to make insensitive jokes about how he just got stabbed and miu would be like “KYAHAHAHA you’re such a fuckin moron come to my lab i’ll make you a drink or some shit” and they’d just be cool. they’d just be cool! i want them to be best friends. please. just. two pals who spill tea and come to each other to make dark jokes. also miu cries into rantaro’s shoulder sometimes and he braids her hair fuck you i doooo what i want.

also sometimes they k--

rantaro + gonta (7/10) hey! it’s SO fucking homophobic that the only amagoku fic on ao3 is fucking porn! i hate it here can you please give me some actual food? please? i’m dying. i’m dying here and you’re doing me like this. these two have so many rights! they have so many rights. i just, two special boys? thank you. thank you for them. i care them. if there was more fucking CONTENT for these two i would have given them a higher rating but i guess! i’ll fucking die!

damn i’m actually like... really tender, thinking about them. i just think they could take care of each other! that’s all. i feel like rantaro would be really patient with gonta but he would also treat him like! a real, intelligent person! idk! like not infantalise him despite being sweet and comforting. i don’t know! i think that’s important can you guys STOOOOP infantalising coded autistic characters that would be really sweet </3 but anyway. i headcanon that rantaro likes insects! or at least, he thinks they’re pretty neat! he thinks they’re neat and he likes them and even more than that he likes listening to gonta info dump, it’s just, it’s important. idk. i think rantaro would be really psyched by how excited gonta gets about insects, and of course gonta would be thrilled to have a friend who wants to talk to his insect friends.... hhhhHhh... and of course gonta would take care of rantaro, too, just, he’d respect rantaro’s boundaries and not ask him any questions, he’d offer space and let rantaro just, exist, and be. gonta is soft and he gives good hugs! and i think that he would just be able to let rantaro cry one out on his shoulder and that’s SO important to me.

also gonta is such a sweetheart so it would be like, hard, for rantaro to lie about stuff? i dunno, like, he’d do okay, and then gonta would ask him a question or something and rantaro would be hit with the Guilts... also like, rantaro employs a mix of like, slight coldness, and airheaded subject changes in making people back off, and i doubt he could really do that with gonta. why would you!!! he’s a soft man, just the softest!!!! these two soft green men :) i care them so fucking much can you imagine rantaro taking gonta to places to see bugs PLEASE they have so much potential can we fucking talk about this

rantaro + tenko (7/10) this one would be higher, but i deducted points because of how the fandom always sees rantaro as “fixing” tenko’s man hatred. that’s literally so gross can you shut up? please? i hate? men?

okay n e wayz. i like them! i think they’re neat, i think they’d be great friends... eventually LFKDJLKDSF like listen, okay? i think tenko really does have real fear of men. think about her backstory, like, her master dripping poison in her ear all her childhood, and then the way he had her working as a fucking VIGILANTE? HELLO? like tenko probably saw some horrible traumatising shit as a child that strengthened these beliefs. this is entirely her master’s fault and he is such a, clenches fist, i can’t even articulate this beanie has better master hatred thoughts than i do, but god he sucks? wow. and fuck tenko’s parents too, sending her off to a temple because she had anger issues. you ever heard of a therapist, chabashiras? hello?

i got distracted, but the main thing is, tenko wouldn’t like him at first. not even reluctantly! like rantaro very much looks like a playboy and that’s the epitome of the kind of guy tenko is against. obviously rantaro isn’t, but tenko isn’t getting close enough to see that! if a man so much as touches her she’s responding defensively, don’t you even think rantaro is going to get past that. and i don’t think rantaro would try Too hard, i mean, like, i think he’d be endeared to tenko because of how much she protects the girls, and how sweet she is when she’s like, not actively thinking about it, but i don’t think he’s so ready to get his ass kicked, y’know? FKLDSJFLKSDFJ

but then maybe like! an accident will happen, and tenko falls over, and rantaro reaches to help her but she freaks and grabs his arm and flips him over and then BOOM!!! neo aikido magic things and she sees all his fucking stress, all his distrust, just how much he really blames himself for everything, how afraid and angry and tired he is, and we all know tenko is super compassionate so i think she would absolutely be worried about it. and then i think she’d like! keep an eye out for rantaro, at the very least try and get confirmation on all those emotions because this pretty boy soooo does not act like it, and then maybe one time she sees him getting grilled on his travels, or he comes back injured and tenko finds him, and she bails him out, begrudgingly, and then they start to become friends.

idk! i think they have platonic potential. i think rantaro would see her as a sister and i think tenko would eventually ask rantaro if he’s really a guy. (which he would laugh off, if he was cis, but if this is nb rantaro.... i’m just saying, the potential for tenko to help rantaro with gender awakening.... fantastic.) get into these two as friends. do it.

if some MOTHERFUCKER reblogs this post with am*cha in the tags i’m going to kill. i’m going to KILL. i won’t even hesitate /hj

rantaro + tsumugi (8/10) (looks at ibuki poster) oh mioda, we’re really in it now. and by that i mean, god it’s so fucking hard to choose favourites from here FKJDSLFKJ i have almost all the girls just, up here, because i’m so fucking fond of their relationships with rantaro. and i know i said i don’t like ranmugi or rantaro/himiko, and it’s true, but i am obsessed with their platonic relationships with him. ESPECIALLY when tsumugi and rantaro are one-sided enemies.... that’s such good shit, holy crap.

okay, let me explain. i feel like rantaro and tsumugi can swing both ways, here. they can either be really good friends! like, rantaro is mellow so he lets tsumugi put him into cosplay (i think rantaro would make a really good n off the top of my head since they’re both green FLKJDSFKJ or light yagami..... handsome men) and since he loves listening to people info dump he just... lets tsumugi go fucking OFF about anime sometimes FKJDSLKFJ i think it would be sweet! i think tsumugi could give rantaro a place to unwind, because she’s so like, hard to phase, i guess? like tsumugi and rantaro share that trait where if you hit either of them in the face with a pie, they’d just go “oh, funky” and go to wash their clothes LMAO. power duo! they’re brother and sister! and i headcanon mugi as a lesbian so she talks to rantaro about ~girls~ sometimes. also u already know tsumugi got tea to spill so rantaro helps with her hair for a cosplay while she gossips KFJDLK honestly why aren’t she miu and rantaro a trio? i just think they’d be neat. good friends! best friends.

or tsumugi absolutely fucking detests rantaro with every fiber of her being. she couldn’t even tell you why! he’s just, he’s a normie! he’s a normie, and he’s like the flirtatious pretty boy stereotype except he isn’t even flirtatious, he’s just genuinely nice and he takes care of people and god tsumugi hates it when anime tries to be subversive! there’s a reason tropes exist, y’know! and he’s so smiley and innocent when obviously he’s hiding some kind of shit, why else would he be going on travels all the time, not that it matters because everyone knows how much she hates rantaro so they wouldn’t listen to her anyway... on rantaro’s end, he really doesn’t have a clue why she loathes him so much, like, he’d like to be friends? but wow she hates him, huh. well, whatever. rantaro’s got more important things to worry about.

in other words, i fucking love them in any form, please give me content of these two they’re so fun.

rantaro + angie (8/10) i love these two and these rankings are? so difficult for me, i am going to cry, you guys get the idea about me being a rantaro stan, right? i hope you do because god i love him so much. and i love him with angie! man. okay. okay.

so like. first of all. angie climbing onto rantaro’s back? perfect. she’s in need of piggy back rides and rantaro will gladly give them. rantaro is so patient and like, hhh i don’t want to use the word pliable because of horny people but that’s the best one i can come up with? like, he just goes with the flow, y’know? angie is so high strung, platonically i think she works really well with people who are patient and indulgent. i don’t know if rantaro would be much for her as far as fulfilling her loneliness, because angie is sort of looking for someone who Wouldn’t indulge her that much, but i’m absolutely weak for their dynamic. just, angie bringing up wacky ideas, rantaro responding with mild skepticism but also listening to her. i think she’d cause some trouble and he would be entirely here for it. bless them, honestly.

also angie painting rantaro’s sisters? please they’re so cute

rantaro + shuichi (8/10) before you come at me like “but toxic! amasai is your otp!” it’s not, okay? it used to be. but due to negative associations i can’t really write it (or shuichi ships as a whole) that much anymore and it’s really frustrating so uh, yeah. amamota supremacy.

that being said, god the potential of these two. they’re a great balance. shuichi is anxious and rantaro is laid back, shuichi is reserved and rantaro is outgoing (to an extent; he definitely doesn’t have any issues voicing his opinions). i think rantaro would be really gentle with shuichi! he matches the quiet, less overwhelming vibes, and just. feels inclined to take care of him, y’know? and spend time with him. i think they’re sweet! i think they’re really cute. the other part of the amasai dynamic that i used to be obsessed with his shuichi’s natural curiosity. shuichi would be so curious about what’s going on with rantaro and why he’s traveling, and rantaro would want so badly to tell him, but he can’t risk it happening again, he can’t... oh!!! rantaro is is really good at comforting people i think so he’d be able to like, support shuichi when he’s upset, and shuichi has great communication skills! or at least i like to give them to him. so shuichi would nudge rantaro into being honest, and talking about his feelings. i just want to see them do well together, that’s all! i think that shuichi is earnest and emotional and he cares very dearly for his friends, and he would try really hard to take care of rantaro. he would also probably worry a lot about rantaro after figuring out he gets injured a lot in trips, which, like, FLKDJSFLKJ rantaro might not be so big on but honestly? the guy needs someone to worry about him.

also they FUCKING TRAVEL TOGETHER!!!! shuichi is a detective!!!!!! he can help rantaro search! cue post-salmon mode amasai slowburn as they travel the world together finding rantaro’s lost sisters. i really need to finish writing search, it’s been four months.

rantaro + kaede (9/10) hhh. oh man. oh geez. amamatsu, huh. amamatsu. i just. think about kaede having a little crush on rantaro after he painted her nails, because he’s so reassuring and patient and observant, and she knows he’s sketchy but she believes in him anyway because he has to be trustworthy, he has to, and then she sees him dead and is at first betrayed, horrified that he was the mastermind, only to realise he wasn’t, and she just killed an innocent person for no reason...

now that that’s out of the way, GOD I LOVE THEM! there are things about this relationship that prevent it from working out in the long term (at least in my opinion) but i don’t even care they have such a lovely dynamic and they look so good together... hhhhh i’m also so into them, just, platonically? god. okay. they just! like they already have that canonical dynamic of like, kaede bringing concerns to rantaro and him reassuring her or providing insight, and it’s so tender! the way he talks to her about miu or kiyo or kiibo (depending on who you choose) is so like, i dunno! he doesn’t judge her for having bad first impressions but at the same time he calmly looks a little more into why they behave the way they do? it’s just sweet! it’s just sweet, and i think rantaro can really help kaede like that, and help her to let her barriers down a little and feel not so pressured to be like, perfect all the time, y’know? to be a leader and take care of everyone 24/7. kaede really needs that.

and kaede! believes in him! she believes in him and looks to him for guidance and that’s so important for rantaro too, just, feeling trusted and knowing someone has faith in him... i really genuinely think kaede would encourage rantaro to keep on looking for his sisters, and urge him to trust other people and believe in himself, and it’s that same thing where she wants him to trust and open up to her and he wants to as well but it’s so difficult.... hhh!!! i think they’re so good!!!!! i just think they’re so good. they would take care of one another.

(the reason why i don’t think they’d be sustainable in the long term is because kaede like, she worries. and not in the way shuichi does? i just feel like she needs more stability and vulnerability than rantaro can actually bring to the table. i think kaede would try so, so, so hard to get rantaro to open up, and try so hard to take care of him and make sure he takes care of himself, and rantaro wouldn’t be putting in the same effort, because he can’t, and i don’t think kaede would blame him for it, but i do think that eventually she’d see it’s not. healthy. and it’s making her upset all the time. and she can’t keep up like this. they hurt me but i love them so much and i live in a world where they’re forever teens and never have to break up.)

also love them platonically! sorry i have amamatsu brainrot at all times but i really do love them as friends! i love rantaro painting kaede’s nails and doing her hair and kaede teaching him a duet on the piano, and she comes to him for advice and he brings her souvenirs and kaede makes sure he’s welcome in the class, and saves him cake after parties... also he calls her a brat and ruffles her hair a lot HEHEHE.

rantaro + maki (9/10) what? what? two people who never interacted and who have almost less interactions than gonta and ryoma do with rantaro? why, tox? why?

... because i’m a simp. that’s the only reason! that’s the only reason. i think they look good together, i’m really weak for maki and rantaro, and that’s the only reason. that’s the only reason! i have a crush on them both and i want to see them interact. there it is. boom. get your “make fun of tox” juice. before i ramble about how much potential they have, i just want you to know how utterly biased i am towards them.

there! that’s out of the way! biases admitted. i think rantaro and maki have the potential to really balance each other out. rantaro is really mellow and maki has a bit of a temper, rantaro is airheaded and maki is focused, rantaro is sociable and maki is closed off. at the same time, though, they like, handshake on a lot of things, y’know? they’re both secretive and distrustful, they both don’t want to let other people get close out of a fear of losing them, they’re both so FUCKING sad please i just want to hold them. i think there’s a lot of potential for them to be like, coming back to hope’s peak late or something, rantaro coming home from a trip and maki coming home from an assassination, and to run into each other and both be curious but also neither of them asks anything because they’ve both got so much to hide...

(that’s actually the exact premise of my amami week day one oneshot, stay tuned, gamers.)

but!! then it happens more often and they start seeing each other a lot more, and slowly they start to get like, a sort of companionship? like they’re not close or anything, but they’re united by their like, distrust of other people. and maybe maki tends to a wound of rantaro’s, or like with tenko tells people to lay off of grilling him, or maybe RANTARO tends to a wound of MAKI’S, or sticks up for her in a conversation. and fuck!! maybe a mission goes wrong and maki is upset and she trusts nobody at this goddamn school (because kaito hasn’t taken her on as his sidekick yet) so she goes to rantaro for, fucking, something, for comfort, and it’s embarrassing and vulnerable and absolutely terrible but he’s so gentle and sweet maki can’t help but let her guard down for just a second. also love the aesthetic of like, rantaro coming home from a trip disheartened and running into maki and she calls him an idiot or something and he just starts crying while maki stands there, not sure what to do, before stepping forward and awkwardly patting his arm FKLDJSFKJd i just think they’re neat. strictly speaking he’s not maki’s type (read: optimistic and stupid) but i love them for each other.

love them as friends! love rantaro to be maki’s go-to friend when she needs her empowering haircut, and them tending to each other’s wounds is not an inherently romantic thing, and they just stick up for each other and vibe... hhhhh.

if none of this happens then idk rantaro is a bit intimidated by maki, and maki thinks he’s unreliable and untrustworthy. that’s probably more likely FLKDJSFKJ BUT I CAN DREAM OKAY? CRIES

rantaro + himiko (9/10) these two are brother and sister, full stop. there’s nothing morally wrong with shipping them, it’s more just that like. i don’t know! himiko is so childish, like, the epitome of a younger sister, and rantaro is the epitome of an older brother... they vibe so hard platonically and then romantically my brain just restarts itself. but anyway!

magic is himiko’s special interest!!!! it means a lot to her and she’s very adamant that it be called magic and not tricks, like, even to the point of slowing down a trial and making herself look guilty in chapter two. i think rantaro is very used to playing along with his sisters’ stuff, and i think he would absolutely humour himiko. and like, they both know it’s not really magic, but it’s the effort that himiko appreciates, and in like, a no-pressure way like rantaro does it? yes please.

i think he would give her piggyback rides. like in chapter five when they’re climbing the stairs to kaito’s lab and himiko goes “someone give me a piggyback ride!” you already know rantaro would be volunteering. (side note: read whattheskyknows’ fic “missing (isn’t always so bad)” because it has that scene and i’m emotional.) i think he’d really take care of her! idk i know i’ve said that about a lot of these but rantaro is very caring. he’d look after himiko and make sure she’s taking her depression meds and carry her to her room when she falls asleep and tell people off when they overwhelm her and hhhh... and himiko would support him too! like with his travels and stuff, she wouldn’t really care about knowing why he’s traveling because it’s not her business and also like, asking about that stuff is a pain, who cares, if he’s gonna travel he’s gonna travel. rantaro would buy her books about magic while traveling and read them to her if she wants, and she would perform magic tricks for him and remind him of what it’s like to have a younger sister again. they matter to me. they should matter to you, too.

rantaro + kirumi (9/10) now i KNOW you weren’t expecting me to put amatoujou any lower, do you know who my favourite person in this fandom is? you are legally obligated to go check out Storyflight’s ao3 and read all of their amatoujou fics because they’re phenomenal and story is too. story ilu. amatoujou week is coming up on october third. participate or die.

anyway! i just think like, in general, rantaro has a lot of respect and appreciation for kirumi. she takes care of everyone! she works so hard all the time and she can really do anything and she’s so composed and calm all the time, and she has this sweet smile and this little laugh and this relaxing, patient energy, and hhhhhhh. rantaro respects her so damn much! so damn much. and maybe he simps a little regardless of whether they’re romantically involved because she works so hard. they get along! pseudo-parents of the group as people always make them. rantaro wants kirumi to kick back every so often, y’know? she matters to him and he’d like to see her being true to herself and enjoying herself. i also think he’s pretty stern with people when it comes to her, and just like, respecting her boundaries, the kinda guy to calmly and casually go, “hey, ouma-kun, she told you not to call her your mother, maybe you’d better respect that?” and kokichi goes “simp” but nevermind nevermind, i’m covering oumami on the next bullet.

idk! i think they’d look after each other! i think rantaro would make sure that kirumi is actually Taking Care Of Herself and of course kirumi would notice him coming in injured all the time and she would absolutely tend to his injuries without asking any questions at all. she would make sure he’s eating and if he requested, she would even tell everyone to Back The Fuck Off on his secrets and leave him alone FKJDSKFj i think she would always emphasise to him that she’ll do whatever she can for him if he so much as asks, as is her duty as a maid or whatever, but rantaro will refuse because like!!! hell’s no, he’s not about to feed into her complex my dude!!!!! but anyway.

i think it would... i just think it would be neat if he told her about his sisters! that’s all. kirumi is a fucking powerhouse, even if rantaro didn’t request it, she would totally help him find all twelve of them and bring them home. honestly? prime slowburn material, just, rantaro requesting that she help find his sisters and they slowly fall in love along the way... hhhhh if i wasn’t a fucking coward i’d write it myself, what a fantastic multi-chapter concept. i am so smart.

rantaro + kokichi (10/10) romantic oumami i go back and forth on but these two are really high at this specific moment in time because i love them SO much platonically, my god.

kokichi is a fucking brat! he’s such a brat, just, an absolute menace, a troublemaker and buffoon. i care him a lot but he’s so tiring to deal with, and if you don’t have the patience it’s hard to like, try and understand him? like with the shorter fuse members of the class (read: kaito and maki) it would be really hard to actually, get to the point where you can see past his bullshit KFJSDLFKJ but rantaro is patient! he’s a patient boy, and he’s hard to menace, and he grew up with twelve younger sisters. twelve!!! he takes care of them, bro, he can handle a little shit gremlin in his life. i think he’d be endeared to kokichi because of this reason, like, the immaturity, it just reminds him of his sisters, and if kokichi pulled out the “onii-chan”... hoo, it’s over. rantaro will do whatever this guy wants. just, a total enabler. absolute goon and enabler. i love them so much.

on a more serious note, they both have a lot of baggage, and similar to harumami it’s like, they’re both really distrustful! they’re distrustful, they just deflect in different ways. i think they’re both observant and intelligent enough that they could bounce off of each other really well. i do think kokichi is a bit smarter than rantaro is, if only just because it’s really hard to be smarter than kokichi, but i still think rantaro could keep up with them. and i think they could be a safe haven for each other! like rantaro gives him a place to truly feel safe, y’know, which is SO rare for kokichi the way he believes everyone is out to get him, and kokichi could give rantaro a place to just, stop smiling. unwind and be himself a little bit. be a little mean! bitch a little! be openly distrustful!

they take care of each other is all!! care them.

rantaro + kaito (20/10) you think you know a simp’s rating system and then she pulls one of these. i’m honestly a little worried about how long this will be because i’ve literally been writing this for three hours but KFJDSKJFDK i’m going to try my very, very best! so here goes :3c

kaito and rantaro have... so much in common. look at these two emotionally constipated, constantly smiling, constantly putting on a brave face, never letting their guard down, never relying on anyone but themselves, always taking care of other people, always taking the burden onto themselves... yeah. it’s like looking in a mirror. and in some cases that’s a really terrible foundation for a relationship. but with these two, when their unhealthy similarities are so reliant upon the other person being willing to just let themself be helped... it works out.

because they’re sweet! they’re sweet people, and rantaro will probably notice the way that kaito takes so much crap from people, including his sidekicks, while working so hard to take care of everyone, and kaito will of Course notice how rantaro is gone all the time, and how he kind of takes himself out of group interactions and makes himself an outcast, and how subtly closed off he is... there’s interest! and they’re both so inclined to help each other i feel like they’d get close! kaito would probably have a bit of a squish on rantaro anyway because he’s the fucking ultimate adventurer and what the hell, that’s so fucking cool, kaito’s destiny obviously lies in the stars but knowing someone who’s going to conquer the earth... that’s awesome. he probably sees rantaro as an equal even before they start getting close. (aka he thinks rantaro is totally above him in every way, like, the ideal almost, but “an equal” is something the luminary of the stars would say, so there he is.) and rantaro thinks kaito is a little silly, but he’s sweet! it’s sweet how much he takes care of other people and just, like, looks after them. rantaro’s weak for a good dork.

and maybe kaito asks rantaro to train with him sometime, or challenges him to a fight, and of course rantaro goes for it because he’s a Man or whatever (and if they do fight it’s homoerotic as hell FKLDSJFK) and plus he’s been meaning to get to know kaito anyway, and then they make a habit of it and start like!! spending time together. and kaito drags rantaro into the larger group and makes him interact and rantaro quietly tells people to lay off kaito, or else makes sure that he’s actually taking care of himself, and then they’re both trying so hard to just, help each other, and they keep like deflecting it back onto the other person, and it’s frustrating! and rantaro is sitting there like “man i really wish momota-kun would open up to me!!” before realising fucking... wait. i do the same thing. like how can he expect kaito to open up to him if he wont do the same thing, y’know? and then he ponders that, and is like, well maybe the relationship just isn’t worth it like vulnerability is for gay losers, but rantaro is, inevitably, a gay loser, so...

there’s just something about seeing your own flaws magnified on another person who you really, really want to take care of, that makes you realise how uncomfortable that is. obviously kaito doesn’t realise he’s upsetting people by pushing them away, not until rantaro closes the door in his face during a breakdown, and then he seriously needs to reevaluate the way he takes care of other people.

idk! i think they’re fantastic. i think kaito’s fervent belief in people would lend itself well to rantaro’s task, like, who doesn’t want to be believed in, y’know? and kaito is so strong about it, even when rantaro doubts himself he’s so encouraging and it’s nice. and rantaro gives kaito space to stop being the hero for a second and just! be kaito! and kaito can tend to his wounds and rantaro can take care of him when he’s sick and hhhHhHhHhhhhHh i care about them SO fucking much.

also? amamota baking sessions? absolutely fucking flawless. these two are so important to me.

hahahaha. sorry for such a long reply, anon. i have a lot of feelings about all of these guys. especially rantaro :) thank you so much for the ask, this was a lot of fun to answer. hope you’re doing well.

#amami rantaro #shinguuji korekiyo #k1-b0 #gokuhara gonta #hoshi ryoma #yonaga angie #shirogane tsumugi #momota kaito #saihara shuichi #akamatsu kaede #harukawa maki #yumeno himiko #chabashira tenko #iruma miu #toujou kirumi #amamota #amasai #oumami #amiibo #harumami #amamatsu #yonamami #irumami #amagoku #amaharu #saimami #amatoujou

[anticallouts]

(1) There's a blog from where I am on Tumblr who has been masquerading as a safe-space for writers to share their experiences of writing groups, or more alarmingly other writers. More often than not these ‘experiences’ are used as an excuse to attach controversial, baseless and false accusations against another person. When challenged, the author of this blog accuses the ‘threat’ of invalidating someone else’s experience and declares their culpability in poor behaviour.

(2) Terms frequently thrown around are: ‘toxic’, ‘disgusting’, ‘sexist’, ‘racist’ and ‘homophobic’. The author of this blog consistently names writers and tells their audience to avoid them. To make matters worse, this entire community is dictated by this blog. For years countless people have been forced to stop partaking in a hobby that they enjoy (writing) through unjust harassment and bullying.

(3) The community isn’t granted freedom of thought, instead we are expected to fall in line. Group admins must conform to a narrative that has been crafted by anonymous messengers and endorsed by the blog author. Usually there is little evidence of wrongdoing and instead, the owner of the blog and their ‘sources’ of information vilify individuals, manipulating the wider community to believe that someone has done wrong.

(4) The influence they have has created a culture of fear amongst us and most, myself included, dare expose ourselves and stand against these behaviours. In reality, most of these writers have created characters that don’t fall within the confines of their version of a safe space. They preach about protecting others, but instead isolate and target an individual until they have been bullied out. Sometimes, this goes on for months. We have been dealing with this for years.

(5) I know many people who have been banished. We are a small community conditioned to believe whatever information comes from this blog is not to be questioned, or challenged. With every person that leaves, I feel guilty. I feel hurt. We are a different community to the one that you discuss here, but we are writers nonetheless. I don’t know what to do, nor do I know how to remedy the situation.

When in doubt, start your own. Start your own discord, your own safe-space blog, your own archive, whatever the case may be. Start an appreciation group, or a shout-out group. Make it clear you don’t accept rumors or callouts without evidence of purposeful maliciousness. Poach the more accepting members of the fandom and leave the others to their own bitter medicine.

They have every right to complain about the things they want to complain about, but if they accept rumors as fact from little grey circles then that certainly speaks more about them than it does about any of the people they’re harassing.

No fandom is a monolith. You yourself are tired of being pushed around and told the correct way to enjoy your hobby, I’m sure there are others (likely including those who have been chased away in the past by this BNF/group). Take control, run things the way you want to run things, block the people who annoy you, create the welcoming space you want to see in your fandom/community/whathaveyou.

In the past, I got together with a couple friends and created a discord server from scratch to connect with ‘the wrong kinds of shippers’ in my fandom at the time. People like me, who just wanted to ship and let ship, who couldn’t have a conversation on this website without someone barging in to tell us to kill ourselves or making posts about what bad people we were and sharing it with strangers who had never even met us. I thought our server would have a handful of people at most, I wasn’t even sure it would be active at all. I was so wrong. I am no longer in that fandom and I left the server a long time ago, but to my knowledge it still exists and is going strong. They still host writing/art exchanges! It’s amazing how many people came out of the woodwork when we gave them the opportunity to do so in a safe space that was free of judgment and away from the anti-infested tags of tumblr. It took a lot of work, but it was so worth it to see our tiny little community grow and flourish.

The internet may not be the wild west it used to be, but it is by no means a rigidly controlled entity. Those people only have as much power as the community allows them to have. They literally cannot stop you or anyone else from doing anything you want to do, no matter what they say. Without more specifics about your community, that’s really all the advice I have to offer on the matter. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do!

#mod fox #purity culture #advice #responses #this really is sad btw #that kind of heavily policed atmosphere kills creativity and talent

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''teen idle'' by marina

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

I think part of the reason I was so scared of being a lesbian when I was in high school was because I had such internalised and sexist ideas about lesbians. I was like oh lesbians are just inherently stupid compared to gay men. And lesbians are ugly compared to gay men. Lesbians don’t have culture like gay men. Lesbians are gross but gay men are clean and nice. I just had all these horrible notions in my head and I already had such low self esteem that I thought if I were to be a lesbian my whole life woul just be over because I’d be stupid and ugly. I hate how much self hatred I had back then. Because I knew. I came out as biromantic asexual when I was 16 (partly due to sexual trauma and being a late bloomer) but even back then I think I knew I was a lesbian. Because during that whole time I had guys ask me out and everytime I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. But then one girl asked me out who I only sort of liked and I’m like YEAH!! LETS DATE!! I knew I was gay. I knew I was only into women. But I kept thinking no no I don’t want to be a lesbian. I remember thinking that I wished I could be a gay man a lot , because I thought they were just better and more likeable for some reason. But like keep in mind too I’d never even met a lesbian a this point. Being a lesbian will make me a bad perosn. I kept holding out and say thing this like , I love Tamahome from Fushigi Yugi!! I’m totally into men! It would be so cool to be hugged by captain America! And I used to make up fantasies in my head where I was like dating an anime character or something, but in everyone of them I would have the dude cheat on me and then I would have an incident like a falling building kill me. But I did that for so long because I just didn’t want to “stupid” and “ugly” I didn’t want to be hated for being a lesbian. But when I was 18 I had a friend say the most homophobic things to me. They made this long internet post about me and called me all these horrible things. I had another “friend” start to do similar things. My worst fears came true. I was seen as ugly and horrible for being a lesbian. It was definitely one of the worst experiences. But because of that I was able to accept my lesbianism. What I had been running away from for so long happened. I was seen as those things. There was so taking that back. After that I think I definitely started having a much healthier approach to lesbianism. I didn’t automatically assume they were worse then gay men. And I’m so thankful for that. But honestly I still tend to fall into that line of thinking sometimes. I start thinking my sexuality makes me ugly. Or that another lesbian is dumb simply because she’s a lesbian. And I hate it. I hate having this much internalised hatred to myself and those like me. Because as soon as I think them I’m suddenly like no that’s not right, you can’t say that. It’s like my initial thought is full of judgment and then I just snap myself out of it once I realised what I was thinking

#I don’t even know if this makes sense lol #personal

[not-poignant]

Top 5 memeee! Top 5 m/m books? :)

Oooo, okay this one is particularly tough, and would definitely change month to month, but here we go:

1. Bad Judgment, Sidney Bell - I have reread this book so many times. The fact that I can enjoy this book despite the fact that one of the MC’s names is Brogan (which to me is like a hideous cross between Bro and Bogan - the Australian derogatory term for our version of a ‘redneck’) is a testament to how good it is. And Embry is one of my favourite characters of all time in m/m. Fussy, picky, dangerous, unpredictable, lonely, and probably one of the strongest depictions of a victim of domestic violence I’ve ever seen. Also, like, I wouldn’t have called myself a fan of suspense romance until I read this, and I’m still not sure I am, but I’m definitely a fan of this.

2. Claimings, Tails and Other Alien Artefacts, Lyn Gala - Xeno? Sure. Two literally incompatible species who have to fuck through very unconventional means? Definitely. The most solid worldbuilding you’ll pretty much ever see in a science fiction m/m romance - so far, for me, yes. The entire Claimings series is a gift, as far as I’m concerned, with one of the most interesting biological takes on domination and submission I’ve ever seen. I like Lyn Gala in general, but this one I reread for it’s generous hurt/comfort factor.

3. Out of Nowhere, Roan Parrish - It was this or Invitation to the Blues by Parrish, but frankly I’ve read this one far, far more often. This is the second part of a series. In the first part, the MC has been - among other things - verbally abused by his homophobic brother Colin. You learn to hate him. THEN, comes Colin’s book. I was prepared to hate this story. I hated Colin. Then I learned how much he hated himself, how closeted he was, and worse (or best, if you like angst as much as I do), what he’d endured in his back story that made him the way that he was. This is probably one of the least obviously likeable MCs in a series, and yet I love him so deeply. I come back to this one again and again.

4. The Good Boy and its sequel, The Boy Who Belonged, JA Rock and Lisa Henry. Hands down one of my favourite hurt/comfort reads, with really typically awesome BDSM depictions from these two (anything they touch generally turns to gold when it comes to kink, and I very nearly chose The Subs Club instead, but this series won out for how many times I read it a year).

Basically it’s the story of a rich millionaire young man who suffers a horrendous fall from grace, and how he ends up in the lap of the man who initially hated him for having all that money in the first place (it’s more complex than that). It features some really lovely puppy play, some creative BDSM ‘I want you to hurt me, but I don’t want to be hit’ resulted in some lovely scenes as Lane grew through his fears and his trauma around masochism and sadism. When I talk about good BDSM in m/m, this is generally what I’m thinking of. What sends it above and beyond for me is the absolute bevy of hurt/comfort. Also? Brin gets better, hang in there, lmao.

5. Axel’s Pup by Kim Dare. I was going to say ‘probably one of my favourite shifter reads’ but I just realised that given I’ve read it about 10+ times, along with a lot of other Kim Dare’s shifter works (including Duck! and Magpie, which feature bird shifters and an interesting bird shifter universe), this is definitely my favourite shifter read.

For a start, Bayden is like, one of the most interesting ‘omegas’ (for lack of a better term) I’ve ever seen. He’s traumatised, quiet, self-sufficient, engages in behaviour that harms him (including getting himself beat up and whipped for money), and has almost no faith in humanity or indeed, many other wolves. He meets Axel, the human owner of a biker bar, and a well-practiced dominant. Bayden begins to gravitate towards Axel (thinking of him as an alpha), but Axel has a whole lot of ‘what the fuck is this’ around Bayden and all his issues. Watching the way he handles them and offers Bayden structure, comfort and discipline is really fascinating.

*

I was going to do some honourable mentions but frankly you can also just go into my m/m shelf on Goodreads and sort it by rating :D

*

From the Top 5 meme!

#asks and answers #memey goodness #inadvertent recs #now i'm going to have to reread all these books #lol #especially axel's pup it's been a while since i've read that again actually #i read the Claimings series again really recently #ahhhh there's so many good books out there though #administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue #Anonymous

[enbyleighlines]

Alright, let’s talk about the theme of homophobia in mo dao zu shi

Before I begin, some disclaimers!

Obviously everything I say here is my opinion and not the One True Way to interpret the text. If you disagree with what I say, or parts of what I say, then good! That’s how literary analysis works. Please write your own rebuttal post if you wish. You can even link me. I would be happy to read a different point of view on this issue

I’m not going to be talking about the author’s intent. I’m pro “death of the author” so it really doesn’t matter to me whether the homophobia depicted in mdzs is a reflection of the author’s own prejudice, or if it’s a social commentary on China’s views towards LGBTA issues, or even if it’s just being employed to push a “forbidden love” trope

I’m not going to be making judgment statements about the quality of the writing or whether or not the homophobia is depicted realistically. While that would make for an interesting topic, it’s not my main concern

I’m going to discuss spoilers, so if you haven’t read the novel, and you intend to read it, and you don’t want to be spoiled, please skip this post!

I’m going to be discussing things like societal homophobia and internalized homophobia. Also, I’ll be discussing Mo Xuanyu’s suicide, so please read this at your own discretion!

With all of that out of the way, let’s begin!

Homophobia is undeniably a running theme in the novel and audio drama versions of the story, and it even plays a minor part in the manhua. However, it is noticeably absent in the live action and donghua. In an ironic twist of fate, censoring the gay romance from the live action and manhua made it so that they also accidentally made the cultivation world a lot less homophobic. Because depicting homophobia would entail acknowledging that gay people exist.

Meanwhile, the homophobia in the novel and audio drama are not like front and center but they are certainly there. As merelhyn points out in this post that inspired mine, “…it’s so common that Wei Wuxian rolls with it and try to weaponize the homophobia to disgust people, hide himself and flee.”

While I don't think it's necessarily dangerous to be gay in the world of mdzs, it definitely is not normalized. The word “cut-sleeve” is most often used as an insult. At one point, Jin Ling calls being gay an “incurable disease”. At another point, the story says that “it was forbidden to engage in cut-sleeve behavior in public.”

Okay, so why am I even bringing this up? Basically, I want to do some character analysis of two of the three canonically gay/bi men in the story: Lan Wangji and Mo Xuanyu. Wei Wuxian could get his own post, and I might do that in the future, but this post just concerns Lan Wangji and Mo Xuanyu.

First: Lan Wangji

Personally, I think Lan Wangji struggles with internalized homophobia, the fact that he is attracted to men.

Lan Wangji is a gay man who cares so very deeply for the rules, he likes knowing right from wrong, good from bad, he likes making others proud and setting a good example, and yet he cannot help but break the rules. The Gusu Lan sect doesn’t have any specific rules against homosexuality that we know of, but I think "Do not indulge in debauchery" and "Do not be promiscuous" could certainly be interpreted to include homosexuality. After all, the Gusu Lan sect is descended from an aesetic monk, and their sect’s philosophy is very much about restraining oneself from earthly pleasures.

I like to imagine that at least part of Lan Wangji’s adherence to the rules is due in part to the fact that, inside, he fears that he's not actually a good person. And not all of it comes from his attraction to men. As we see in all the adaptations, Lan Wangji has quite the temper. He is also prone to jealousy and pettiness, like the way he acts around Wen Ning.

And there’s the childish side, too, the side that wants to play hide and seek or steal someone’s chickens when he’s drunk. Or how he continues to be overly sentimental, like how long he grieved for his mother.

And then Wei Wuxian comes around and Lan Wangji falls madly in love, just like his father did with his mother, except it's with a man, and try as he might, Lan Wangji cannot control his feelings. He can control everything else in his life, but he can't control his feelings. And I think that’s the lesson that Lan Wangji ultimately has to learn.

By the end of the novel, we learn that Lan Wangji actually confessed his love to Wei Wuxian before his death. We learn that Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren knew of Lan Wangji’s confession, and that later Lan Xichen even told Jin Guangyao. Yet Lan Jingyi once told Wei Wuxian, “HanGuang-Jun is not a cut-sleeve.” So Lan Wangji’s feelings are kept a secret, just how the details of his mother’s seclusion were kept a secret. They have to be kept secret, or they would ruin his reputation.

How painfully ironic, then, must it have been for Lan Wangji, when Wei Wuxian is reincarnated into the body of a man who is known and hated for being gay. And as previously stated, Wei Wuxian fully plays into the stereotype of the predatory, promiscuous gay man, in order to keep his identity a secret, and to keep other people from getting too close to him.

In the past, Lan Wangji had to struggle with his own internalized homophobia. And then, once he finally accepts himself, he has to deal with Wei Wuxian’s homophobia. It just makes his whole character arc all the more tragic.

Second: Mo Xuanyu

Admittedly, we don’t know a lot about Mo Xuanyu. We know that he was cowardly and timid, that he was gay, that he dabbled in demonic cultivation, and that after the abuse of his aunt, uncle, and cousin, “he often behaved in a crazy manner, almost as if his life was scared out of him.” He was also accused of sexually harassing Jin Guangyao, his half-brother, though the novel never really clarifies if this accusation is true.

Personally, I find it too much of coincidence to be true. After all, how likely is it that Jin Guangyao would have two half-siblings lusting after him?

If you compare Qin Su with the accusations against Mo Xuanyu, there are some interesting parallels.

It’s said that “Mo XuanYu had always regarded Jin GuangYao as a deity”.

It was also proposed by Wei Wuxian that Jin Guangyao and Mo Xuanyu were once close, since Jin Guangyao allowed Mo Xuanyu to study Wei Wuxian’s manuscripts.

Qin Su, on the other hand, is often described with words such as “innocent”, “naïve”, and “childish”, and apparently she fell so deeply in love with Jin Guangyao that she “never gave up, insisting that she wanted to be his wife.”

We also know that Jin Guangyao never again touched Qin Su once they were married. Now, it’s entirely possible that Qin Su accepted that without question, but it’s also possible that, being the persistent woman that we know her to be, that she tried to seduce him many times after their wedding.

And so, if at any point Jin Guangyao did want to come up with perfect rumor to smear Mo Xuanyu’s reputation and get him kicked out, then he could easily take inspiration from his own wife: A half-sibling, who loved him very much, and frequently expressed interest in getting intimate with him, to his continued disgust. If Jin Guangyao did make up the rumor to get Mo Xuanyu kicked out, we still don’t know exactly what caused his change of heart. But we do know that since Mo Xuanyu was already known to be gay, and since he was already known for following his elder brother around like a puppy, it’s quite easy to see how people would have believed the rumor.

At one point, Wei Wuxian questions whether it’s possible for a man as timid as Mo Xuanyu to have taken his own life. Now, I for one don’t like that interpretation. Suicide does not require bravery, just intense emotional pain.

However, I do think it’s safe to say that a man as timid as Mo Xuanyu probably wouldn’t have sexually harassed his older brother, the one he treated like a deity. He was probably just happy to have someone in his family, other than his mother, who didn’t abuse him. So while it’s not 100% canon that Jin Guangyao framed Mo Xuanyu, it’s what makes the most sense according to my reading of the text.

Aaaaand that’s it!

Kudos to you if you actually read this far. Lan Wangji and Mo Xuanyu are two characters I have A Lot of feelings about, so I wanted to condense it all into one super rambly post.

I hope you enjoyed reading it!

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #mdzs meta #long post #character analysis #lan wangji #mo xuanyu

[crash-cinematic-universe]

Headfirst for Halos (ch.2)

Ship: Tate Langdon/fem!Reader

WARNINGS: allusions to both physical and emotional abuse from a family member, actual physical abuse between a freshman and a senior, allusions to mental illnesses such as depression, student v. student violence. A certain way an event was phrased could be considered an allusion to molestation. strong language. a reference to homophobic slurs (none were used), Allusions to suicide and eventual character suicide. Read at your own risk.

general comments: Pluto is nb, for those interested. I might fuck around and make this a series. By ‘might’ I mean definitely will. SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1 FOR AMERICAN HORROR STORY AHEAD. pre-death tate, pre-shooting tate, pre-beau death

ch. 1

________________________________________________________________

          As it turns out, I’m not as alone as I thought I was. I can see his eyes follow me through the library. I can see it in his eyes, he wants to talk to me, but he’s hesitant. I get it, I’m intimidating, and the first time we ever spoke I was beating a bunch of jocks off of him. I originally planned on ignoring him for the rest of my high school career, but now it’s different. He lingers in the library, even after school has ended. He reminds me of me, young and anxious and reserved. 

          He peeks over the top of his book, it’s about birds. Byron, maybe he wants to pursue ornithology. I can see him in my peripheral, his eyes snapping up to scan me once over periodically. It's almost endearing, this strange infatuation with me. I'm somewhat compelled to approach him, to see what this strange interest stems from, but someone beats me to it.

         It's a jock, his face isn't familiar, but the jacket is. Toddwell is embroidered on the back of his jacket.. I'm alert, my eyes boring a hole into the back of his skull. I can't see the boy anymore, the body of the tall athlete blocking my view. Just wait, Y/n, just wait. If you see him do anything even slightly threatening, go over there. Every part of me screams to stay put, to not intervene, but I go against my better judgment and make my way over

"Well, I didn't expect to ever catch you in the library, Toddwell." I snarl slightly, standing behind the anxious freshman. The jock's eyes widened with recognition.

           "Hey, look, I don't mean any trouble. I'm just apologizing to Tate on behalf of the other guys." He puts his hands up in faux surrender. His name is Tate. I'll have to remember that.

           "Oh? well, it's nice to know not every football player is an asshat." I state, standing up straighter. I made sure to glance down at Tate every so often to make sure he wasn't freaking out. Toddwell lingers a bit before leaving me and Tate alone in the library. Well shit, what do I do now?

          "Thanks for looking out for me." The voice shocks me, it's quiet and unsure, yet at the same time it's full of wonder and mystery. He’s hesitant, it’s almost as if he’s afraid I’ll attack him for speaking out of turn. I suddenly realize that I don’t want him to be afraid of me. I want his trust.

“No problem, dude. If they bother you again--”

“I’ll be sure to give them a five second head start before I let you know.” He joked. I bit back a laugh of my own, I’m getting too comfortable. 

“Tate, right?” I inquire, the more info I can get on this kid the better.

“Uh, yeah, Tate Langdon.” He’s timid again, his eyes ducking away from mine. I know I have to decide whether or not I can trust this kid. With trust comes vulnerability, and vulnerability brings pain and weakness.

“Why did you help me?” Tate speaks, seemingly out of nowhere. “We haven’t ever spoken before, you don’t know me, so… why?” His eyes meet mine, and I can see myself in them. I can see the disbelief that someone would care. That’s it, I’m taking the leap.

“Why wouldn’t I? You needed help, I wasn’t just gonna let them hurt you. You deserve more than that.” I say plainly, standing up and preparing to leave. I scribble down my phone number on his folder. “For whenever you need me.” He looks shocked, but I can tell that he’s appreciative. I turn my back to him, my eyes set on the front doors. Pluto walks down the hallway, their black hair falling in their face as they leave. I can tell they’d been crying.

My pace is hurried in an attempt to beat Pluto to their car, the gentle patter of raindrops filling the empty hallways. My boots thunk against the tile floor, the grey lockers staring me in the face as I desperately try to be inconspicuous in my pursuit of Pluto. Apparently, I had failed.

“God, Jamie, please, leave me alone!” Pluto shouts before whipping around. Their face contorts in shock, followed by embarrassment once they realize it’s not, in fact, their boyfriend Jamie following them.

“Hey, Pluto,” I say cautiously, imaginary eggshells beneath my feet. “everything alright? You looked pretty upset and I wanted to make sure you--”

“Everything is fine.” They snap. Ouch.

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Pluto.” I growl, taking a step closer. “Tell me what's wrong.”

“I thought we agreed we’d stop being friends. I’m not your problem anymore. Stop bothering me.” The anger is back.

“You decided you’d cut me off. I still care about you! I still want to be your friend!” I shout, the rain gradually growing stronger. “You’re my only friend, and you’re desperate to get away from me! But, no, right? I’m the one who’s drifting. I cried our first day of school this year, you know why? Because I knew you’d graduate and go to college and I’d be left here alone! I thought I’d take advantage of our last days together, but I’m now realizing I’m grasping at straws.” This was it. The vulnerability that I feared so much. The floodgates opened and now I’ll face the consequences.

“Yeah, I guess you are.” Pluto said dryly. “What relationship did you think we had? You were a freshman who I thought was three days away from offing them self, what was I supposed to do?”

“So that’s it. We were never friends?” It hurt so bad. Hearing Pluto, my closest and only friend, tell me they didn’t care. “It was all a pity party? You felt like you’d be charitable for a few days and realized you couldn’t shake me off?” It was pouring now, and we were both shouting-- in anger and in an attempt to out-scream the rain.

 “Fuck you, Pluto Davis. I don’t need you.” I spit. They get in their car and drive away. It’s only then that I realize a very important fact: Pluto was my ride home. God, being vulnerable really fucking sucks.

#american horror story #american horror story fanfiction #tate langdon x reader #american horror story murder house #ahs murder house #ahs evan peters #tate langdon fanfiction #irl dont look

[angelo-thoughts-and-stuff]

Playing the Last of us part 2 just showed me why I hate and love the gaming community.

In my life, it goes anime, games, and depression. The first game I ever played was Lara croft on ps1. And I can't forget the feeling of being absolutely enthralled in this universe. This medium became my way of experiencing a world of fantasy, gore, love, and amazing storytelling. The reason I loved this medium is because even though I could fail over and over again I could still try again and not have the constant fear of someone telling me I was a failure. It's a medium in which I could have fun and relax and escape the horrors of the world. And last week one of my favorite games that I enjoyed the last of us came out with a sequel which I was really excited by. And the gaming community is going to war. I never realized until recently that gaming had such a toxic environment around it. You can just watch a slaty compilation on YouTube to see what I'm talking about. And this critique can also be directed at me. I fucking hate it when I play online games and it's just a lagy game or when I'm playing a fighter and I can't land a hit on the AI or when I'm playing PVP. It scares me sometimes on how much such a trivial thing can angry me, but it's cause I care about this medium, maybe too much sometimes. But I have never seen community hate on something so much, to clarify I read the leaks and I fucking hated them. I tweeted a pretty bigoted post on Twitter about and I vowed not to get the game. But I got it anyway and I loved the game. One of the best storylines I've experienced in my life. That doesn't mean that the game doesn't have a shit ton of things wrong with it cause it does like a lot. Like any medium there aren't perfect movies, books, or music all of our opinions are subjective. I don't think the game is a 10 out 10 or a 0 out 0. I really don't like scoring things but I know that it's important when it comes to critiquing art. In my opinion, it's a 8 out of 10 I absolutely love Ellie's storyline because it's believable and to honest Joel dying was not pointless, he's death is the reason why the story gets going.  I really didn't like Abby's storyline it wasn't done well. A lot of the side characters aren't really that well fleshed out. The first game primarily focuses on Joel and Ellie's storyline and both their character arcs are really well done but with some many characters in part 2, it's really hard to connect with them. A weird thought that I had I was if they splint this game into two-part like what they are doing with the final fantasy remake which I really hate but in the context of the story it would have helped. The people that are sad the Joel died and say it's a bad story really loss me. I have learned not to become a Stan of the things I like cause it really clouds my judgment on the things l like. As an example, Naruto is my favorite anime and I thought there was absolutely nothing wrong the story at all but going on social media and seeing how crazy people are about the things they love it really opened my to see that just loving something doesn't make it perfect and I don't want to a have a cult-like love for anything l like. Joel is one of my favorite character in gaming but he isn't a good person he's human and that's why l love he's character. I love it when writers create characters that are believed. A lot of times as fans we want the people we lot up to be perfect and obviously if we knew their flaws we wouldn't like them as much as we do. But there are anti-heroes who we love Deadpool, Vegeta and Joel falls into this category. Joel's story is sad, the world he lives in is sad losing your daughter in the beginning of an apocalypse is sad. Joel had to become a monster to survive in this cruel world. The ending of the game really left me  conflicted cause it really shocked me how selfish Joel was but he's decision made sense. I felt sorry for him throughout the game. But when you see him becoming a happier person in this depressing world it's such an amazing story, to see a character have hope in a hopeless world is compelling storytelling. It's very rare that we see our characters deal with their consequences, I really liked the risk that they took, it wasn't executed perfectly but I appreciate the risk.  The last of us part 2 isn't a story about "revenge is bad"  it's a story about forgiveness. It's about both Ellie and Abby learning how to forgive. I honestly haven't seen one positive review of this game anywhere and I'm going to to make a massive generalization but it seems they hate the game for either the following reason 1.) they killed Joel a "beloved character" 2.) you had to play as his killer 3.) they don't like the second half of the game. These are reasonable critiques but the ones I constantly see are "trolls" who are just hiding behind the really stupid defense of "it's just trolling or I'm joking" to hide behind their bigotry. And this why I sometimes hate the gaming community, it's the people who are saying homophobic and transphobic things about the game and making "jokes" about people that like the game. And there are people who say if you don't like the game that your bigot these two extremes are also going to be a part of the conversation it's just said that they are also going to be the loudest voices in talking about this game. These two sides are really infuriating when they talk about the game its just sad that this is how we as community react to things we don't agree on but this is who we are and I don't why I'm surprised about the war going on. Now, time to talk about Ellie's character arc I really loved it. It's her descent into revenge that makes the story believable. Here goal is to kill Abby it's pretty straight forward. And one quick side note I really didn't mind the violence cause I don't see how it's different from the first game violence. There are casual gamers that will find the violence disturbing but I've seen game reviewers and journalists who loved doom eternal and think this game violence is too hard to deal with like really dude?  I'm gonna make another post talking about Ellies' characters arc cause I really wanna flesh out my argument.

#the last of us #naughty dog #playstation

[cath-with-a-c]

This is the comment I woke up to on Friday morning. The amount of bigotry hiding behind the almost polite and seemingly thoughtful wording is astonishing. 

I’ve responded to it already, informing the individual behind it that I won’t be discussing the points of the comment with them, as they’ve resorted to personally attacking me, which is...dumb. I mean, attack my work all you like, it either helps me grow as an author by learning from my mistakes or as a person by growing a spine and defending my work. But coming after someone who has no connection to this and can’t defend themselves because they are no longer with us? Low and disgusting. (Also wow, they’ve taken the time to find the only truly personal post I have on tumblr, and it’s more than a month old, what a commitment to come off as pathetic, really)

Anyway, while talking to that particular individual is out of question, I still kinda wanna address the certain things in the comment because wow, my first queerphobic comment and an excuse to talk more about “Nothing and Everything”, my boys and myself? How can I pass that?

(this is like... a long-ass one... prepare yourselves)

(I’m gonna refer to the commentator as “Fox” and, probably, “them” because well, I don’t know what their preferred pronounce are)

NB! I’m using the term “queer” as an umbrella term to mean everyone who isn’t strictly straight and/or cis-gender.

Let’s start from the top

1.

The best part about slashfic writers is that when they write about child abuse, child sex abuse, and drug and alcohol abuse while including gay characters, is that they’re really writing about the lives of gay men without realizing it. To you, gay men being abused and that being the arbiter of their homosexual identity is too homophobic to fathom. But you still confirm it in subtle ways, and that always brings a smile to my face. 

Now, English isn’t my first language, so I might be missing something, but If Fox meant being the arbiter of as in defining, being the reason for, than no, it’s not homophobic. It’s just dumb. One, there isn’t a single relevant scientifically accurate study on the abuse causing someone to “turn gay”. Two - there might be a correlation (and it’s not necessary there, I’m just guessing), but the cause and effect will be the other way around, queer kids get abused more because they are queer, not become queer as the result of the abuse. And, most importantly, three - in terms of sexual orientation, you can’t turn someone queer, as well as you can’t turn someone straight. It’s something you are born with and discover as you go along. 

And also the other two queer characters, Rob and Penny, weren’t abused by their parents and/or other family members, but we will touch on that later. 

2.

“The Brotherhood had no problem with homosexuality” - Of course not, and neither do the Templars. It’s the Current Year. You can marry/have sex with whomever you want, whatever you want, whenever you want.

Ignoring the fact that this was taken out of context, and the whole phrase has a slightly different meaning, there are two things that are factually wrong with this statement. First - even in the Current Year, there is a ton of places where being openly queer is dangerous, from the countries that have “anti-gay” laws (ranging from “you can be gay, but stay quiet or go to jail” to “die a horrible death for being gay”), to certain, let’s say, traditionally oriented places in the US. Second - this is not Current Year. The bulk of the story takes place between 1998 and 2003, this phrase is taken from the chapter taking place in 2003, 16 years prior, things were, let’s say, slightly different.

Also, I don’t understand why Fox tried to make this sound sarcastic, we are talking about two societies, with one canonically being for freedom and choice and the other one relying on public favor to propel their agenda, of course, none of them will have qualms with the GRSM community, 

3.

“Honorary gay parents of a gay kid” - Well no wonder the kid is gay. Look at the environment xe/xim/xer grew up in.

I like how Fox uses the non-binary pronounces referring to Penny, when the only thing that has been said about her/them is “I’m into girls.” Also out of 16 kids on the Farm, only 3 are confirmed to be queer. They’ve all grown up in the same environment, so that statement is... meaningless. And in case Fox was referring to Rob and Des turning Penny “gay” well, they’ve also been close with Sam and he’s - what a shock - straight! So again - meaningless.

I’m gonna skip Fox shitting on my friend’s art, again - such remarks are low, pathetic and not worth discussing, let’s get to the juicy stuff. 

4.

It’s amusing, no, to have a pansexual – an individual who is attracted to ‘all genders’ - writing about gay men so much? How many genders are there? Thousands? 51? All on the spectrum? Regardless, tumblrinas are as big on their sexual identities as they are on their activism. In this case, we have a person – presumably female – getting wet over two dudes banging. I’m simply wondering if they packed enough lube and had their enemas. Maybe it was hidden in their stash?

Well, as a matter of fact - they didn’t have lube in their stashes because the only way to get it was to essentially ask one of the adults going to the city to get it for them, can you imagine a 16yo asking something like that? Death from mortification would be the most likely outcome.

Seriously though, I write what I like about whom I like. The only thing it has to do with me being pansexual is that I have more confidence in writing non-straight characters and relationships because I know it’s fine, and my queerphobic background can’t silence me anymore. Also - Desmond isn’t gay, he is bisexual. Rob is gay, true. 

The amount of genders is still up for debate, in my personal opinion it’s all on the spectrum, and the only reason gender issues don’t come out in fiction as much as sexual orientations do is that gender in a lot of cases is a more personal thing than orientation, that’ll inevitably reflect on the inter-character dynamics. A lot of genderqueer people are fine with using male or female pronounces, which to an outsider would put them in respective categories. There are, of course, androgynous people, trans people, non-binary people and others for whom gender and the perception of their gender are important in day to day life - and there are more and more stories featuring them.

Also, on the note of pansexuality - it’s not “attraction to all genders,” it’s having an attraction to the person regardless of their sex or gender, those labels play an insignificant part in me deciding to pursue a relationship. (Also also there might be like a ton of things to discuss in regards to how sexuality relates to gender identities, but not here, not now)

And yes, I’m afab, so yeah, “female” and I do “get wet over the two dudes banging”. Fox got me. Now what? Shame Fox seemingly can’t conceptualize that I “get wet” because I wrote those boys in a story that contains a hard emotional journey full of heartbreak, and I do revel in the short happy moments they’ve got together. The sexual/sensual part is hot because it’s those particular two guys, not just random two guys. 

Oh, and the last thing here - I don’t know if it’s news for Fox, but not all people in a homosexual relationship engage in anal sex. Especially teens in their first relationship. Just saying.

Let’s skip another personal attack part, here we go, sorry that the phrase is broken up

5.

she educated a pansexual SJW into confirming every negative and dirty secret in the gay community: a brutal, abusive father, societal ‘homophobia’, drug and alcohol abuse, and feeling inadequate compared to heterosexual people.

Tbh, this is the part of the comment that had me confused for a moment, as I mistook Fox for one of the “hardcore gay” people, that think that with letters added to LGBT and by putting everything on the spectrum we somehow affect negatively the “real” gay community. The next paragraph cleared this shit for me tho.

Right off the bat - SJW isn’t a dirty word, Fox shouldn’t try to sell it as one. And I won’t label myself as a SJW, because as of now, I lack the commitment to the cause. 

For the next part, I’d really, really like to quote a line from one of my fav vines “Bitch, where?” but for the sake of politeness, I’ll go with “Citation needed,” because from all of the things mentioned, the only one that is really prominent in the text is the “brutal, abusive father”. Societal homophobia isn’t exactly in the text (pay attention, teen Rob is cautious about adults being homophobic, it’s a valid fear a lot of queer teens have prior to coming out, but the general atmosphere isn’t homophobic. If I wanted it to be, adding a scene of public shame/shunning for someone caught in the act wouldn’t be hard), no drug and\or alcohol abuse (1 scene of teens trying drinks for the first time doesn’t count - surprise, teenagers try drinking), and feeling inadequate is mentioned once as a fear of a nine-year-old Penny, who has no frame of reference other than heterosexual behavior of the others, and is corrected almost immediately by Rob.

6.

Was this about Assassin’s Creed? No, not really. Despite you being a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, you don’t really respect these characters. Miles is a douchebag, it’s true, but he’s respected even by Otso Berg. That should tell you something. 

(I’d like to see an example of Fox-approved, really-about-Assassin’s-Creed fanfiction, for a future reference, but alas, they’ve commented from as guest)

Interesting how me not liking or respecting Bill, canonically abusive douchebag known for alienating people because of how cold and manipulative he is, translates into me automatically not respecting every other character in the series. 

Also, I don’t see how Otso Berg respecting William as an opponent should sway my judgment. I’ve mentioned here on my blog that I like Garnier de Naplouse as a villain - how self-assured he is, and how much quiet intelligence he has. Do I like him in general as a person? No. Do I respect him? No. He tortured people. I relished in seeing Altair murder him. 

With Bill, him being a douchebag and abuser is a deciding fact for me, I do not respect abusers, no matter how great they may be. But tbh, on the leadership front, I can’t quite decide if Bill is a fine leader given the circumstances, or if the number of instances of him being canonically shitty as a leader is big enough to call for his removal. 

7.

You crafted him into a predictable homophobic dad, albeit he isn’t Christian. I was waiting for the Bible to be thrown at Desmond.

Again - citation needed. One instance in the text of Bill being homophobic. Not abusive, not overly-demanding, but homophobic. 

(Spoiler alert - there isn’t one.)

As for the Christian associations - well, it’s in the tags. Literally. In this story, the Brotherhood is a cult, like the JWs, or the LDS church, but with Creed instead of a holy book. And I guess I succeeded in conveying the feeling.

8.

In another Tumblr post, you wrote about how William is very abusive to Desmond, and how that is inexcusable. You bring up Nikolai and putting his child out in the cold as punishment, and earlier, cited Philosophy Tube in regards to solitary confinement (which really shows a lot). How do you explore this concept?

I wonder what me citing Philosophy Tube shows, except for maybe that I find Olly to be a very pleasant narrator and that the themes he touches on are rather interesting (Olly is precious, protect Olly).

I think I was rather unsubtle with showing what exactly abuse, inflicted by Bill, did to Desmond. And not, not “turn him gay”, about that in a moment. I don’t delve like deep into what was happening in Desmond’s head because this story is from Rob’s perspective. Not Desmond’s.

This story isn’t about the relationship between Bill and Desmond. It’s about Desmond not living in a vacuum all those years on the Farm.

Write William being SO abusive he turns his son gay. You make him so homophobic Desmond reacts by engaging in self-destructive behaviour and, in turn, becoming your average gay man. Your OC, Richard, Robert is merely the bridge.

“Bitch where?!“ (c) 

1. Desmond isn’t gay. He is bi (because I’m keeping it as close to the canon as I can and I love Elijah to death). It’s in the tags, and it’s in the tags rather than stated because Desmond’s sexual orientation isn’t the point of this story, 2. Bill isn’t homophobic, at least not openly. There’s a different issue within the Brotherhood, the fact that they expect everyone born into the Brotherhood to have kids of their own. This is the source of Rob’s unease and perceiving adults as not reacting positively him or any other kid in a queer relationship.  3. If I wanted Bill to come off as homophobic, I’d portray him like that. Using slurs, for example.  4. Bill abuses Desmond not because he thinks his son is gay - he thinks his son is weak. In general. Not related to orientation. Like in the fucking canon. I’m merely turning the abuse factor up to eleven. 5. No one abused Rob, his father is shown in the text to be one of the best parents on the Farm - and Rob is gay. No one abused Penny, her family is mentioned briefly, but I specifically did it in a way that shows that they are nice - and she is a lesbian. Another boy, Colin, got abused by his strict mother - and he is straight. Desmond got abused by his father - and he is bi. There is no correlation between abuse and being queer.  6. Desmond's self-destructive behavior came from him being abused on a daily basis for most of his life and having no way out. Again, if it was linked to his orientation Rob would do that stuff too. He doesn’t.

9.

You make these characters gay because, as a ‘queer pansexual person’ you can. But you don’t really make them human. In fact, every single negative stereotype you want to protect yourselves from our oh-so-bigoted society are confirming them, while simultaneously denying that they exist.

In short, everything and everyone acted the way I expected to, and was written the way I expected a queer pansexual to write them: meaningless, with only the sexual identity taking place. Funny how that’s the only identity politics that’s allowed. Everything else is oh so bigoted.

I’m not denying the existence of the stereotype, I’m just not acknowledging it as valid, because it’s not. It’s like blaming violence on video games - you’d be hard-pressed to find a youngster who doesn’t play a semi-violent game of some kind, with blood and murder, but every time someone brings up that another shooter was playing those games, they forget to mention how many youngsters play and don’t commit murder as a result.

The same way Fox keeps bringing up the “abuse turned Desmond gay” without acknowledging that there’s a ton of straight teens that get abused worse than Desmond in this story, or the two queer kids right in the text who weren’t abused.

It’s also funny that Fox is adamantly holding to the “sexual identity” thing, despite the fact that it came up only in 5th chapter (with 4 chapters before that having nothing to do with sexual orientation) and it’s not even an identity/orientation thing. It’s the “relationship between Rob and Desmond” thing and “Desmond is clinging to as much happiness as he can because he has none” thing. The only time orientation comes up in term of identity it’s when Rob talks to Penny and thinks of himself as a closeted gay man, but it immediately switches back into the “relationship between two people” again. 

10.

You call yourself an AC fan? 

Yes. Yes, I do. Ain’t nothing some bigot on the internet can do about it ;)

(If you read this through to the end, I applaud you, thank you for your time <3)

#Assassin's Creed #Desmond Miles #william miles #my writing #nothing & everything - AC #bigotry #queerphobia