#they are also living in the correct timeline so can go and do things like watch the Christmas lights being switched on

[amisonist]

fuck it transition timeline

I was originally gonna wait until July to do this because that'll mark 3 years on E but I feel like now's a good time all things considered

With that out of the way lets start from the beginning AKA freshman year (AKA 2018)

This was on my way to band camp which is why you can see my trombone in the background (random fact: that was the only year I got to do marching band and our show was "the music of harry potter". yeah irony's a bitch ain't she?)

Graduation picture featuring the bestest boi Jinn :3

This pic is from 2020 because I switched to online and finished high school early out of spite (I was 16 here if you were wondering)

Now then this is from 2021 and was taken only about a week before I started hrt when I was 17

The lake in the background is Lake Superior in case you were wondering. Me and my mother were all the way up on the Keweenaw Peninsula for my family's 4th of July party held at the family farm

Moving on from that I started HRT on July 22 2021 (the appointment was at 9:30 am and I took my first dose at 7:42 pm yes I kept track)

This was taken like a half hour after my first dose (I actually don't really like this pic that much but I'm including it because it is important)

Fast forward from that a year to 2022 when I was 18 and here are a few pics of me around then one of which again featuring best boi Jinn

(it was windy out that day and he tried to bite me immediately after this lmao)

I've never been particularly good at taking selfies lmao

That brings us to now. I've been on hrt for about 2.5 years now if my math is correct. I'm pretty much living full time as a woman, started laser hair removal a couple months ago (next apt is actually tomorrow lol), and I'm working on getting my legal name and gender changed. It's been a long ride thus far and I don't really plan on stopping anytime soon so yeah here ya go

So that's it! At least thus far lol

also fuck photomatt 🚗🔨💥

#Trans #Transgender #transition timeline #queer #lesbian #long post #I might have gotten a little bit carried away there lol #🚗🔨💥 #idgaf if this is cheesy or whatever #I kinda like how it turned out #took too long to gather all these together #I like never take pics of myself #my camera roll is just 4000 memes

[inbarfink]

So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

#undertale #ut #utdr #sans #sans undertale #sans ut #undertale analysis

[youkissedareaderinthedark]

Waiting

Synopsis: It’s never the right time for Y/n and Max. It takes the right place to get them together

female reader x max verstappen

(this fic is set from 2018 to 2022, ik it’s not ideal that it’s set in the past but it’s the timeline that made the most sense for the story)

It’s 2018 and life is good for Max Verstappen. He’s three months away from entering the new race season and he’s just coming off a fairly successful one. He’s got a pretty good car, a team that believes in him, and a country that supports him. Things in his career were changing, getting more serious, and Max decides he might be due a new place to live.

Maybe not to live full time, just a place to go home to after a long weekend. He loves his mom and sister, Victoria, but flying back to Belgium almost every week was a hassle, and he needs someplace that made his lifestyle easier. A few drivers live in Monaco, that might be a contender. It's in the middle of Europe, so close to most of the races, it has a lot of privacy, traveling to and from there is easy, and of course the tax benefits, so why not?

Max spends a few days thinking and researching Monte Carlo. He talks to his friend and Monaco resident, Daniel Ricciardo, who, predictably, loves the idea, and then talks to his mom and Victoria about it. The three of them come up with the idea that Max buys an apartment in Monte Carlo, lives there during the race season, and comes home during gaps in the schedule, summer break, and after the season ends.

The Verstappen family finds a suitable apartment and once it’s bought, they spend a few days scrambling around to the house trying to decide what Max should bring and what he should leave. It’s December, so Max will spend the rest of 2018 at home with his mom and Victoria before leaving for Monaco in January.

Max liked Monaco from the first time he traveled there to race and fell in love with it when it became the place he’d call home for a while. He gazed at the tall trees and the turquoise water and even though it was winter, it looked like a summer paradise.

All of his stuff from home wasn’t supposed to get here until tomorrow, possibly later if the shipping company was dodgy, so all he had to live off was the carry-on and two suitcases he brought on the plane with him. His mother helped him plan what furniture he should buy for his place, and he figured he should get a move on that if he wanted a place to sit for dinner tonight.

The apartment complex he chose was nice, almost luxurious, and even though money was not a problem, not crazily expensive. Two bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a nice kitchen even though Max couldn’t cook very well, it was good. It was semi-furnished, the kitchen and bathroom were basically done, but the bedrooms, living room, and dining room were empty so he would spend the next few days at furniture stores.

It’s Day 7 of living in the new apartment and Max is fumbling with the parts of a coffee table. When he suddenly hears a beeping noise coming from below him. The apartment downstairs. He figures.

Probably just an alarm. Is what Max thinks until the beeping noise doesn’t stop, and the Dutch realizes it’s a fire alarm. It’s fine. It’ll turn off in a second. But then Max hears a muffled voice and a clanking noise, then repeated thwacking noises, against his floor?

Curiosity killed the cat, but Max decides curiosity could also be fun and before he can stop himself, he’s walking out of his apartment and towards the elevator.

He does the math on which room would be the one below his on the way down and is knocking at the door he thinks is the correct one. “Hold on!” A voice calls through the muffled alarm. He hears another faint curse before the door swings open and reveals a woman, probably around his age, looking frazzled and a bit panicked.

“Hi. Are you okay?” The words tumble out of his mouth and Max realizes he’s had no idea what he’s doing until now. “No. Can you help me turn that stupid thing off?” You reply as if he is not a stranger, and this is totally normal.

Why not? He thinks before saying it out loud, and you open the door wider to reveal a smokey kitchen. “The smoke alarm is up there, I just forgot how to turn it off” You point to the detector on the ceiling near your fridge. The 21-year-old steps onto the chair that is strategically placed underneath it and uses the little knowledge of fire safety he learned in a health class in high school to disable the alarm.

“Oh. Thanks” you say as he steps down. “I’ve just realized I haven’t seen you before, did you just move in?”

“Yes, I moved to Monaco and started living here about a week ago. I’m Max, by the way, I live in the apartment above yours” He sticks out his arm in a handshake.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n. I’ve been living here for three years, so if you need something, just let me know” You smile and he’s glad he now knows someone in the building.

“Thanks, I’ll see you around” you say the same as Max turns and lets himself out of your room. The man realizes as he gets into the elevator that he has no clue if something was on fire or not, or if you were okay or not. Well, I’ll see her around, I’ll ask then.

You don’t see Max again until the middle of the night, about two months later. You don’t know it, but Max has just returned from the first race in Australia and is trudging back to his apartment from the airport, desperate to get some sleep. You’re walking to the elevator, just coming back from a midnight snack excursion to the vending machine on his floor. “Oh hey. Max right? You okay?” You ask with what he deems too much energy.

You're wearing what looks like pajamas, a Monte Carlo crewneck and a pair of shorts. “Fine, just tired” He’s really not in the mood to talk, but he doesn’t think this will last long. “You want a cookie?” You’re holding a bag of his favorite biscuits, ones that he thought he could only get in Belgium, and surprises himself when he nods his head. “Why not” And takes it from your hands. “Thanks Y/n” The driver is already walking away. “Goodnight Max”

Strangely enough, the same thing happens when Max gets back from Bahrain. It’s like a replay from the last interaction; You’re in pajamas, carrying a bag of cookies, and he’s trekking down the hallway to his flat. “Hi Max, you want a cookie?” Without hesitation, he grabs the one in your hand, and with a yawn-covered thank you, he’s turned around and heading back to his original destination.

Instead of a two-month gap between your encounters, Max sees you the next day. It’s 10am, and the driver decides to utilize the balcony attached to the apartment. Every apartment has one, and because of the side of the building his room is on, it faces a view of the Monegasque streets and the ocean in the background. It’s a beautiful sight, so Max should probably be more surprised when he hears someone else outside.

Soft music, the clattering of utensils, and occasionally the sliding of doors, all audible and coming from the apartment below him. Max looks over the railing from his seat at the edge of the platform and sees you. “Hi Y/n” His mouth is calling out before his brain can stop it. You look up and smile. “Good morning, Max” You pause for a moment, wondering what to talk about with the kind-of-stranger that lives above you.

“Were you just coming home from vacation last night?” You remember the suitcase by his side and the tired expression on his face that only someone that has been away from home can have.

“I mean, I was away, I wouldn’t call it vacation though” You two have to shout to be able to hear the other clearly and even though it’s piercing the calm morning air, neither of you seem to mind. “So a work trip, then?”

“Yeah”

“What do you do for work?”

“It’s a secret” Now, Max is not sure why he says that. Maybe because he doesn’t want his neighbor and possibly friend to know he’s a high-profile Formula 1 Driver. Maybe he just doesn’t feel like telling a neighbor and possible stranger his work. Or maybe he just feels like being difficult.

“A secret?” You shout back. “Yes! A secret!”

“Well can I know the secret?”

“No! Then it wouldn’t be a secret!”

“Fine! When do I get to know the secret?” Max pauses for a second, contemplating his options.

“I’ll surprise you. One day I will just tell you. Out of nowhere”

“What if I don’t see you for another month?”

“Then you’ll have to find a way to see me!”

“Fine!” It’s a word that is usually shouted in frustration, but the Dutch man hears the smile in your voice and is surprised to feel his own face twisted into a grin.

You take Max’s words as a challenge and you’re not going to lose. The next few days, you go up to your neighbor’s floor multiple times, hoping to catch him leaving or going. You step out onto your balcony in the morning and again at night, shouting, looking for his accented voice. You even wandered up at midnight a few times, anticipating him to come walking tiredly down the hall again. You can’t exactly figure out why you’re so anxious to know this secret your neighbor has, you just know that you do.

So two weeks later, when you’ve very nearly forgotten about this whole ‘secret career’ business, you see him trudging down the hall again, you ignore his tired face and speak maybe too loudly for 1am. “Did you just get back from your secret work trip?” A smirk comes onto your neighbor’s face.

“Maybe” He continues walking, even ignoring the bag of cookies in your hand. “If I see you tomorrow, will you tell me?”

“Maybe” And then he’s turned the key into his door lock and is gone.

The next morning, you’re out on your balcony as usual, eating breakfast while listening to music, when you faintly hear the slide of a door coming from above you. You pause the song playing on your phone and wait. Max knows you’ve heard him and he interrupts the silence. “Good morning, Y/n”

“Hi, Max. Long night?”

“Long few days, yes”

“Wait, I’ll be right back” You quickly hurry inside to retrieve the bag of cookies you didn’t finish last night and bring them out onto the platform.

“Will you tell me now?” Then with the best angle you can manage, throw them directly up and hopefully over to his balcony. He catches them and thinks back to a few hours ago. “Weren’t you eating these last night?” “Don’t worry, I only eat like three” You hear the bag crinkle, and then his voice.

“I am a Formula 1 driver” You’re eyes widen. You’ve had a lot of time to think about all the possible secret careers Max could have, and while celebrity was one of them, you did not expect that. Just as you hear the sliding door open again, you move to shout. “Wait! Tell me about it”

Of course you knew what Formula 1 was, everyone who lived in Monaco did, but you didn’t know much about it since you only pay attention to it when it comes to your country. “Okay. But I don’t want to yell anymore, come up and I will tell you” And surprisingly, he does.

Without a touch of discomfort, Max answers any questions you have and asks a few of his own. You tell him that you got the opportunity to go to the International School of Monaco and moved into this apartment so you could attend. You tell him about the life waiting for you back home, the place you would go return to in a few months.

“So, you are moving back there soon?” He asked. “Yeah. Not immediately though. I’m gonna stay until summer ends and if I haven’t found a good job by then, I’m leaving”

“I will be the best neighbor possible then” By August, you can safely say he was.

Max told you about his schedule for racing and you told him about yours for school, though much simpler than the one he lived by. You make a tradition of welcoming him home with a bag of cookies, whether it be minutes before 12 Sunday night, or just as the sun begins to set Monday evening.

Max makes a habit of going down to your balcony every time he returns from a race, either for Monday breakfast or dinner. You both sit and watch the Monegasque view with awe before you either have to go to class or start your homework. Due to the crazy prices, you’ve never attended the Monte Carlo race, you usually just watch from the balcony of the other neighbor you’re friends with that lives across from you but Max surprises you with a ticket after he asks you whether you’d be interested in going or not.

You cheer with your friends from your spot on a balcony above the track when he goes P4 and the two of you enjoy the biscuits together that night.

In June, Max celebrates your graduation with you and your friends from university, who have accepted Max into the friend group by now. The eight of you spend a week basically living at the beach and enjoying life just as young adults before Max goes back to racing and the seven of you have to find jobs.

The summer break is in August and Max goes back to Belgium to spend it with his mom and Victoria, while you are in Monaco, looking for the job that will keep you there. You loved your home country, you loved your family and high school friends there and everything it had to offer you, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t over-the-moon excited once your acceptance letter for the International School of Monaco came in. Nothing was chasing you away, but so much from Monte Carlo was keeping you there.

When Max returns at the end of August, he has no idea whether you’re still there or not. He has your phone number and you two have been texting back and forth through the weeks, but you play his own card when you tell him, “It’s a secret”

Like he has done so many times before, Max is standing tiredly in the elevator of the apartment building he’s just returned to from the airport and is terrified when the lift stops, and you step in matching him all the way down from the drowsy eyes to the two suitcases at his side.

“No” he says, face stretched into disbelief. “No way” He tries to look into your eyes, but your head is tilted down. “Tell me you got a job”

It’s silent for a moment, and Max thinks you haven’t when suddenly you’re grinning, and the suitcases fall open, revealing themselves to be empty. “Okay. I got a job” A laugh falls out of your mouth and the Dutch pulls you into a hug, trying to wave the sadness off.

“Oh my god, that was not funny! Don’t do that again!” He scolds you but he’s laughing as well.

“You found one though? You will stay?” He suddenly pulls back, hands on your shoulders looking for the only answer he’ll accept. “Yeah, I found one. It’s good too, I got a salary and proper days off to see my family and everything. I’m staying” Your eyes are sparkling with joy and Max wants them to stay that way.

“Thank god, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have you here, keeping me sane” “Me either” You hug one more time before Max says, “C’mon, you are buying me the biscuits now, that was mean” “Oh, I’m mean? What about when...” And you two continue to banter all the way up to the floor that is not yours but feels like it could be.

The Formula 1 season starts again in September and the traditions between you two remain but are more appreciated. You have no more homework to do after dinner, so Max comes down almost nightly to sit on your balcony or at your dining table and listen to the music you’ve chosen. You still eat breakfast with him every Monday morning if he’s home before you go to work, and when you return, sometimes Max joins you in grocery shopping after one too many complaints about the food you make for dinner.

“If you don’t like it, go make it yourself Verstappen! I am not your maid and you do not have to be here” The neighbors next to his apartment could probably hear you, so Max just offers to buy the groceries himself somedays.

You two don’t fight often but when you do, it usually takes a few days the silent treatment until one of you swallows your stubbornness and pride and apologizes with a peace offering. The driver doesn’t like it when you fight, but he finds it a bit funny when you do because it’s always when you get annoyed by his complaints or when he’s tired of you forgetting stuff at his apartment. It reminds him of a married couple fighting. A couple. You remind him of a couple. Max decides he likes the sound of that.

Max also decides he loves the hugs you give him after he returns from a race, good or bad. He decides he loves coming to your apartment before you make dinner so he can help you cook. He decides he loves the gesture of you two making a key for each other because Max didn’t think it was a good idea for you to have your door unlocked for him most of the time. He decides he doesn’t mind you forgetting your belongings in his apartment because sometimes once you notice they’re gone, you leave them at his apartment for him to use. By the middle of October, the final thing Max Verstappen decides is that he likes you.

When Max walks into the Red Bull Garage Friday afternoon for the Japanese Grand Prix thinking bout these decisions, he sees a woman sitting in one of the chairs and a toddler in the one next to her. The woman must feel his gaze because she looks up. “Hi Max, I’m Kelly. Nice to meet you”

And then suddenly the woman is not a stranger. She’s smiling a mind-numbing smile and Max isn’t thinking when he says yes to having lunch with her Monday afternoon. He isn’t thinking when he says yes to extending his hotel in Japan so they can spend more time together. He isn’t thinking when he flies back to Monaco with her next to him and he goes back to her apartment, not his. His brain only starts to work when he sees it’s almost midnight on Thursday and he realizes he hasn’t gone home yet.

He hasn’t gone home to you, and he doesn’t know how you’ll react. Shit, he doesn’t even know how he’s reacting. Max has just figured out that he likes you, but he’s been in another woman’s house for two days.

Both you and Max have brought people home to your apartments. One of you will go to the other’s place and when they realize the door is locked, they don’t knock and wait for the other to answer, they give the other privacy and say good morning the next day as if nothing happened. There have been one-night stands but never two-night stands; You’ve been in relationships since moving to the building but not since Max moved in, and vice versa for him. You’ve never introduced someone to each other, and now he’s gone and ghosted you.

The driver doesn’t hesitate to gather his things and head back to the complex. It’s not Monday so you have no reason to be up late when you have work in the morning, and somehow, he knows he won’t see you until dinner the next day.

You don’t ask Max where he’s been. You don’t send him a million text messages and you don’t call a thousand times. You want to, because you’re worried about him, but you don’t because somehow, you know. You think it’s when of those unspoken girl things. Even though you don’t know the woman, you know she exists, and you know it’s time for you to step back so she can step in. With this realization, you wave your sadness away as if it was an annoying fly, push your feelings back into your heart where they belong and should never get out, and continue with your day.

When Max opens the door to your apartment Friday evening to have dinner with you, you don’t ask him where he’s been, you just congratulate him about Sunday’s race and tell him that you’ve made plans with your friend group to go out for dinner.

“There’re no reservations, so you can come last minute if you want. I just didn’t feel like making anything and missed everyone, y’know?” “Yeah” The Dutch swallows the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I’ll come. Are we leaving now?” “Yeah, it’s at that one place on...”

Max follows you down the hall and in the silence between you two, he realizes that you know that he met Kelly, and that you both know this is someone he will introduce to you.

The Red Bull driver thinks he thought the action into existence because when Max comes home from Abu Dhabi, Kelly Piquet is by his side. You don’t need Max to tell you, you hear his voice and a woman’s come from his apartment when you’re eating breakfast on your balcony Monday morning. It’s getting cold. You use it as an excuse to eat at your dining table inside until you feel warm again.

You haven’t talked much to Max since the end of October because you rarely see each other. The races are all back-to-back until Abu Dhabi and when Max isn’t traveling, he’s at her apartment. You’re spending more time at work getting ready for Christmas and are glad for the distraction. Your coworkers tell you that everything at the building is ‘double-time’ to get ready for the break and it’s bittersweet because it takes a lot of effort to get it all done in time but knowing you don’t have to think about work during the break and the money you get paid makes it worth it.

You can’t avoid the couple forever though, and that fact proves itself when you run into them in December. Today was the last day at work before Christmas break, and you’re checked out. Even though it was nearly 8’o clock at night when you left the building and was exhausted, you rushed into your apartment to get the suitcases you’d gratefully already packed and leave for the flight you had to catch.

You’re not paying attention when you step into the elevator, looking down at your phone to get music playing through your headphones, when Max calls your name.

“Oh, hey Max” You look at the woman next to you and just as you’re about to introduce yourself, Max does it for you. “Kelly, this is Y/n, she lives in the apartment below me” “Hi, Y/n, so nice to meet you” She shoots a charming smile at you, and you do your best to give her a real one.

“Hi Kelly, nice to meet you” You’re glad neither of them tries any small talk with you and ride the elevator down to the lobby fixing your headphones in silence. “Have a good Christmas, Y/n” Max says on the way down and you realize that he has become just like any other neighbor, one that you ride the elevator in silence with and just wish each other happy holidays when you converse.

It’s sad, what you two have become, but you know better than to try to go back to the way things were before. “You too Max, and you too Kelly” You smile at the two of them before exiting the lift, dragging your suitcase behind you.

A holiday with your family and high school friends turns out to be exactly what you needed. You love Monaco and are glad to be living there, but there’s something comforting about your hometown that no other place can bring. With everyone’s work out of the way, you spend Christmas decorating the house with your family and shopping for presents with your friends.

You let yourself forget about Monte Carlo for a few days and submerge yourself in the safety of your home. It’s refreshing, it’s loving, and it’s welcomed. New Years is fun; You spend some time with family before going out at night to celebrate with your friends and your New Year’s Resolution is to come home more often.

You return to your apartment in January and let the Monegasque winter cool you. You don’t know where Max is, you haven’t texted him since New Years, and that was just a “Happy 2020” message and just assumed he was either in Belgium or with Kelly. You try to make yourself not care and it’s almost easy because at this point, Max barely lives above you anymore.

You focus in on work again and spend time with your friends whenever you can. It’s enjoyable and even though it’s not exactly what you imagined, it’s nice nonetheless.

This lifestyle takes you to March, when something you could’ve never imagined happens. The Corona Virus is announced as a world-wide pandemic and Monaco is shut down. Your work is forced online and suddenly you’re in your apartment building all the time.

You’re friends with the woman that lives across the hall from you, Andy; she’s two years older than you but she was the first person to welcome you to the building and you have a good friendship. You two are suddenly traveling between the two apartments all day, looking for anything to do while you’re trapped inside. Her family lives in France, so like you, she’s living alone and you guys' bond over that.

She reminds you of Max, who just then remembers he lives there and comes back a few days after the pandemic was announced. You’re on your balcony, gazing out at the empty streets of Monte Carlo that you are not used to, when his voice calls out from above. “Hey Y/n”

“Oh, hey. Max right? Did you just move in?” You joke, but the sentence has serious and slightly angry undertones, and you don’t try to hide it.

“I’ve just been away. Not exactly on vacation, something between that and work” He lets your joke run on for a second before breaking it. “But seriously, how are you? We haven’t talked in a while”

“I’m good. I’ve just been working and hanging out with my friends. Well, not anymore, obviously. It’s usually just me and Andy”

“Who is Andy?”

Over a year living there and he still barely knows anyone besides you. “The woman that lives across the hall from me”

“Oh, yeah. Andy”

Max still has no idea who she is, but he doesn’t want to stop talking to you. He realizes he will have to break the ice first. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I’ve been at Kelly’s place a lot and whenever I am here, I can never find you”

“It’s okay. We’ve both been busy with different things”

Just as the driver is about to interrupt, saying that it’s not okay, when you start to talk.

“Why aren’t you with Kelly, by the way?”

“She decided to go back to France to be with her family. She has a young daughter, Penelope, and Kelly wants her to be surrounded by family, not stuck in the house with her mother all the time. She said she’d be back when this is all over, but who knows when that will be”

“Sorry, Max” You don’t know if this means they’ve broken up, but apologizing seems like the right thing to do. You two are silent for a moment.

“Y/n. What are we going to do?”

“Well, me and Andy have a few ideas”

And in the way male/female friendships work, you two are acting like no time passed since the last time Max ate dinner at your house. Immediately, you, Max, and Andy are spending every non-working moment with each other, desparate to interact with someone that is not on a screen.

You three take advantage of the empty streets of Monte Carlo; going on walks whenever you want, lying on the beach even in the cool April air, and seeing every sight that is usually too crowded to enjoy. Your trio enjoys the rooftop all residents have access to and litter it with whatever outside activities fit. You binge watch a lot of shows, switching between Max’s apartment, yours, and Andy’s to view them in. In May, Andy convinces you and Max to try art as a way of passing time, and it brings many trips to the nearest craft store.

By June, Max has wall art and your fingertips are burnt from all the times your hot glue gun scorched you. He’s also reconnected with the friends you once shared, and after Andy joins the group, the nine of you spend the hot days lying in the sun at the beach and wading in the pool outside your building. The other members of your friend group are spread throughout Monaco due to their work, but because the world has literally stopped, they aren’t worried about having trouble getting to you three.

The Formula 1 season starts again, and you and your friends fill the weekends by trying to learn more about F1, half for Max’s sake and half because you’re all bored.

Everyone is stir crazy, so you’re glad that by July, plane tickets are available and after spending nearly five months together, every single one of you spends at least a week with your families and away from each other. It’s not summer break for drivers yet, so Max hangs around the people he’s friends within the paddock.

The Red Bull driver does spend his break with Kelly though. He travels to France and spends a week getting to know Kelly again and playing with her daughter. He doesn’t know where their relationship stands. They were officially dating before the pandemic started, and they decided to go on a break while it was going on. Kelly invited him in hopes of figuring out their relationship and what they want to do when the world goes back to normal.

After talking about how they feel, what’d it be like if they were together again, and everything that would have to change for them to work. After spending five months apart, Max isn’t sure he wants the same things he did in February, so the couple breaks up for now, and he goes back to Belgium to spend much-needed time with his mom and sister.

You return from your vacation much like last year’s holiday break, refreshed and prepared for whatever the world could throw at you, as long as it’s not another pandemic. Everything is definitely not back to normal but it’s more normal than it was in March, so you appreciate it.

By September, half your work week is in person and Monaco gets a bit of life back. Your neighbor gets a bit of his life back as well; Max told you about him and Kelly, and things aren’t 100% normal with you two yet, but it’s definitely getting there.

Due to your enthusiasm, Halloween brings you two back together and on the 31st, Max is on your balcony, eating a bag of cookies from the vending machine, and watching little kids trick or treat beneath you. Not many kids live in your building, but you buy a bag of candy just in case someone shows up and share it with the man next to you while you wait.

In the cool November air, Max comes over for dinner nightly and when Andy isn’t with her boyfriend, she’s there too. There are only three races left in the 2020 racing season, but Max uses them to visit your balcony and eat breakfast with you on Mondays. You only have about a week left until the holiday rush starts in your building again, so you frequent your friend’s apartment and bother him with all the things you two should do with your friends for the holiday season.

You convince Max to buy a fake Christmas tree, but he draws the line at decorating gingerbread houses. You make him watch Christmas movies with you and he pretends to hate every one of them, but when you each have a blanket wrapped around your shoulders and a cup of hot chocolate warming your hands, you know he’s enjoying it.

Your neighbor goes back to Belgium for the holidays so it’s just you until your work stops for the break. The rush is a little less stressful than it was last year because you’re not a rookie anymore, but you still don’t appreciate going home way after your original hours end.

Clocking out and the overtime check you receive after is sweeter this year, partly because you don’t run into any girlfriends on your way out of the building and to the airport to catch your flight home. You're glad to see your hometown keeping its holiday charm and holding on to traditions that track all the way back to your childhood.

You party on New Years with your friends and a few days into 2021, you’re on another plane back to Monaco and everything waiting there for you.

You don’t spend much time with Max though; when you see him after you’ve finished unpacking, he tells you that’s he’s flying to England to Red Bull Headquarters for a while to start preparing for the upcoming race season. He tells you that Red Bull is supposed to be a serious contender for the Driver’s Championship this year and he can’t disappoint. Understandably, you nod, telling him ‘Good luck’ and see him off when he leaves a few days later.

You wish you had more time with him. When you look back, you realize you spend a lot of time with Max, but it never seems like enough. You wished time would move slower in the mornings, so you two could sit in the Monegasque quiet and watch the tide come in and out while you eat breakfast. You wish he came to your apartment earlier for dinner so he can “help” or really just watch and hand you ingredients and read off instructions for the recipes to you.

You tell yourself you shouldn’t wish these things, that he and Kelly could get back together any day, and that you shouldn’t get attached because you know his career will take him all over the globe. But then your heart speaks up, telling you to enjoy the time you have with him, and you listen.

Your neighbor returns on the cusp of February and is prepared to surprise you from his balcony, when he sees a man out on yours. Looking down, instead spotting you reading or eating, there’s a man, sitting on what Max deems his chair, sipping out of a glass. You’re nowhere to be found, probably serving yourself inside, and the Dutch hurries to close his doors when he hears yours open.

Max assumes he’s just one of your lovers, but when he comes outside a day later, the same man is again sitting in his chair, eating off one of your plates.

Fine, a two night-stand, he thinks, but is wrong when he checks again a day later, and still sees the same man sitting in his chair, drinking out of one of your mugs.

This time you are out there as well, and Max doesn’t hesitate to shout to you. “Y/n! Hey Y/n!” You look up. “Oh, hey Max! You want to come over for dinner later?”

It’s about 2 in the afternoon, and Max hopes that man is gone by then. “Yes, sure. Who is your friend?” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them.

“That’s Adrien” You are interrupted by your friend speaking. “Hi. I’m not eating here mate, don’t worry” Adrien has a French accent and even though Max has never minded them before, he doesn’t like them now. And I am not your mate. He thinks, before shouting down to you again, “I don’t care, mate. See you later, Y/n” And without waiting for your response, the driver goes back inside and closes his back door.

Instead of coming around 6 when Max knows the food will be done already, he walks to your apartment at 5 to help you cook and see if your friend has left. Unlike almost every time Max has stood in front of your door, he knocks and waits for you to open the door. “Hey” You’re about to say that he doesn’t have to knock and wait, then he can come in anytime, then remember Adrien and stop your mouth from saying those words.

“Your friend has left?” he asks, taking off his shoes. You hum yes and move to the kitchen to continue cooking. You tell Max about him over the music playing in the background.

You met him during your third year of college and bonded over the class you had together. You stayed friends during your final year and Max is about to ask why he isn’t a part of the friend group he met when you all graduated, when you tell him Adrien left school after final exams were done to leave for England. “He’s training to be a doctor, and he wanted to get a head start on preparing for the course set to start in August”

Apparently, he’d been living in the UK all this time, and came back to study under a doctor here in Monaco as in intern. “He told me he wanted to surprise me and asked one of our friends where I lived. Kind of creepy, but I haven’t seen him in a while, so I guess it's okay? He was friends with everyone, but then he left, and nobody knew when he was coming back”

You also tell him that Adrien grew up in France, and that he doesn’t like motorsport. You say the last one with a teasing smile, and while Max rolls his eyes, he mentally adds it to the list of things not to like about Adrien.

Max fills you in on everything he did at Red Bull headquarters and for a while, it feels like nothing ever changed. A Netflix show plays while you semi pay attention and Max cleans up, something he first insisted on doing ages ago. You say goodnight a couple hours later and then your routine starts again.

You and Max see more of Adrien as time passes. He’s staying in Monaco for a full year, and he seemingly wants to catch up with his college friends. Every Friday night, you all go out to eat and as often as they can, Max and Andy go with you.

You see him more often though, as he usually comes to your apartment on Sundays. It’s an old tradition you two had in college; you would go over to his dorm and watch either a football match or a movie. Sunday is your day off from work though, and you usually spend it with Max, so you tell him he can come over once the Formula 1 season starts.

When the race in Bahrain begins, you convince him to skip that day’s match and watch the race with you. Predictably, he loses interest quickly and while you cheer on Max’s podium finish, he sits on his phone, waiting for you to change the channel.

This is how it goes for months. You go to work and hang out with Max during the week. You go out to dinner on Friday nights, and when Max leaves for a race, Adrien comes over and keeps you company while you cheer on your neighbor.

When the cars come to Monaco, you are standing above the track with the Dutch fans, breathing in the warm May air and listening to the roar of each engine. Max goes P1 and you nearly lose your voice shouting. You also met his mom and Victoria; they were in the same section you were in and without even realizing they were related to your best friend; you become friends with them, and they help you find your way down to where Max was allowed to see you. You went home while he stayed out with the other drivers and left a bag of cookies in his kitchen before going to bed.

As the racing season goes on, so does yours and Adrien’s friendship. You still make him watch the race every Sunday but let him pick what you watch afterwards and what you two eat for lunch.

Adrien was a good friend to you back in college. He did his best to help you understand the class you shared together, no matter how many late nights it took. He vouched for you when you came in late and didn’t hesitate to give you whatever snack he had in his bag. You two spent a lot of time together on campus and would be lying if you said you didn’t miss him.

One Sunday night in August, after you and him spent the afternoon out in Monte Carlo, you’ve migrated back to your apartment and onto the balcony, now recalling memories of your college days. Max is in Belgium for the summer break, and your friends are all doing their own things.

“Remember the water balloon fight between my dorm and yours?” You say, both of you collapsing into laughter. “Of course, I remember! You soaked my brand new shirt!” Adrien exclaims.

“You threw one at my shoes! I needed to get revenge” You defended. “And then I got revenge by chasing you all over your room”

“Didn’t we break a lamp?” You remember.

“You did, I did not”

“Yes you did! When you grabbed me, I fell and then you fell on top of me” You trailed off, thinking back to that day.

“Then I fell, and...” You both fall into silence, recalling the look in his eyes and the hesitancy between both of you.

“And then, I wanted to kiss you” Adrien says, turning to you. The mood shifts, neither of you laughing anymore. “I wanted to kiss you then, and I want to kiss you now. I’ve missed you, Y/n. When I first heard of the internship of Monaco, I was the first name signed up. I came for the experience, yes, but I also came for you”

When you hear this, you don’t know what to think. You remember having feelings for Adrien two years ago and missing him terribly after he left, but a lot has changed since you graduated. You loved the days you spent with him, but you remember the days you spent with Max, too.

A part of you wants to get up and tell him no, tell him that you like someone else and that he is too late, but then another part of you thinks of Max, and how you are not even certain of your feelings for him, and that you don’t know if he feels the same way.

Max is thousands of miles away right now, and Adrien is right in front of you. So you stop reaching into your heart for feelings for Max and extend your hand onto Adrien’s face to pull him closer to you. His lips press against yours and you wallow in the feeling to ignore the fact that you are not thinking, and how sometimes it is easier not to.

Because the race after the summer break is in Belgium, Max stays with his mom and doesn’t come back to his apartment until Monday afternoon, 24 hours after he went P1 at Spa-Francorchamps. He comes to your apartment for dinner as usual and because he does not see Adrien there, he assumes he was never there at all.

Max continues to think nothing has changed since he left Monaco and you can’t really blame him. Adrien has taken you out on a few dates since you kissed on your balcony, but nothing is official yet, so you don’t bother to tell your neighbor anything.

The most PDA you two express in front of other people is a kiss on the cheek, and to Max, could be very platonic, so he doesn’t think anything of it. The Dutch carries on with his regular routine of excelling on track, celebrating at your apartment with a bag of cookies, then coming by throughout the week to hang out until he has to leave again.

You spend Halloween with the rest of your friend group this year by watching horror movies on one of their couches and picking out of a candy bowl. By then, Adrien has asked you to be his girlfriend, and now spends entire weekends at your apartment. You don’t tell your friend group until the beginning of November and for the most part, they’re all happy for you.

The Red Bull driver though, does not know how to feel. He doesn’t exactly know what will change between you two, but he does know that he doesn’t want it to. Max thought it would just be you two for a while, traveling between your apartments, supporting the other’s career, and always being there for one another when his car underperforms, and your work is too stressful. He knew there’d be someone else one of these days, he just didn’t think there’d be someone else now.

Max tries to think back to what you did when he dated Kelly and even though he didn’t particularly like it, he tried to stay away. On weekends where there was no race scheduled, he’d stay out of your apartment after he saw Adrien entering one Friday night and not leave until Sunday night.

He walked down to yours for dinner one evening, then stopped after seeing Adrien’s hoodie on the back of your couch. He goes out on his balcony less because more often than not, you and your boyfriend were out there, eating and laughing for too long to Max’s liking.

The Dutch knows he has no claim over you, that he should not be upset he’s distancing himself from a girl he insists is only his best friend, but he can’t help feeling jealous and disliking Adrien.

You are happy, but you could be happier. Adrien is wonderful; he’s handsome, he’s gentlemanly, he takes you out on nice dates, and he always makes time for you, but it just doesn’t feel as great as it sounds. You think you two work better as friends, you don’t see a future in the Frenchmen and there’s no spark between you two. You’re happy to be in a relationship, but what good is a boring relationship?

You miss Max. You appreciate him distancing himself out of respect, but you’d rather be hanging out in his apartment than Adrien coming over to yours every possible moment.

While you’re walking into your apartment building late in November, you think that this isn’t at all fair to your boyfriend and are thinking of how and when to break up with him when you see Max. “Hey Max” You smile at him. “Hey Y/n” He pauses for a moment.

“Listen, there is a race mid-December, and I know you like to spend your entire break with your family, but you remember when I told you that I’m competing with Hamilton for the championship this year?” He asks, recalling your text conversation a few weeks ago.

“Yeah?”

“Well, if we continue to tie in the points, and I win the race in December, I would win the Driver’s championship and...I want you to be there” His voice lowers as he finishes his sentence.

“I could reserve a ticket for you, and you would fly to Abu Dhabi with me there and back and you’d get home in time to spend Christmas with your family-” You cut him off.

“Max. I’d love to watch the race. I want to be there when you become World Champion” You grin at him, and he smiles back relieved. “Okay, I will come by later and we’ll talk about it, yeah?” You nod and exit the elevator once it stops at your floor.

You call Adrien when you get inside who was planning on coming by for dinner to let him know that you have to cancel. He sounds a bit dissapointed, but you’d see him in a few days, you weren’t worried.

A few hours later, you have a ticket alongside Max to Abu Dhabi from Thursday morning to Sunday night. The rest of November and the middle of December go by quickly. as predicted.

Your work keeps you busy, and any free time you have in spent preparing for the race and your trip home Monday afternoon. Before you realize, it’s 6am and Max is knocking at your door to collect you for the drive to the airport.

Though tired and a bit stressed, you and Max talk and laugh the entire way through the airport and take turns annoying the other on the plane. When you arrive hours later, Max leaves to the paddock to do media duties and puts you in charge of planning what you do that night.

The Dutch is friends with multiple other drivers on the grid but wants to spend all the time he can with you. When you told Adrien you were taking this trip with Max, he was unsure about his girlfriend spending 4 days with the man she tells him not to worry about, but he can see how much you want to go and sends you off with a kiss and a message to have fun.

You watch FP1 and 2 from the best seat Max could get you without bringing too much attention to you and he meets you in the parking lot when he’s given the okay to leave. You two spend the rest of the day wandering around the city and competing to see who can find the better dinner spot.

FP3 and Qualifying go well, and the hours you spend together afterwards are a little less carefree. It’s obvious your neighbor is anxious about Sunday and you try whatever you can to help him. You both have rooms right next to each other but much like your apartments in Monaco, he spends most of his time in your room.

The atmosphere at the track the next day is so exciting you wonder why you haven’t attended more races. Max was quieter than usually that morning and when you’re seated and waiting for the five red lights to go off, you understand why.

The entire race is spent on the edge of your seat as you watch Max and Hamilton overtake one another. The entire arena is almost silent when your best friend crosses the line first and you shamelessly jump around cheering, copying everyone around you. You’re almost laughing with relief while you walk down to parc ferme to reunite with your friend.

By the time you get there, he’s just finished the post-race interview and is about to walk to the podium celebration when he sees you. An immediate grin paints both of your faces and you don’t hesitate to push through the crowd in front of the barriers. He meets you halfway and pulls you into a hug through the barricade, not caring about everyone who surrounds you.

He’s sweaty and the arms around you make you feel warmer than you already are but you’re both grinning because he’s the world champion and you’ve watched this all happen right from his side. It’s a hug that makes you question everything and you don’t think you’re going to hesitate to answer any of them.

Max’s flight is leaving tomorrow afternoon while yours in leaving tonight, so you watch him spray champagne on the podium and hug all his friends with a bittersweet smile. Your Uber arrives just as he’s leaving to celebrate with his team, so you send him off with a tight hug, a congratulations, and promises to see him in January. He’s still beaming at you through the window of the car and it’s an image that plays in your head through the rest of December.

You spend your holiday thinking things over, and you’ve decided to break up with Adrien the next time you see him. It’s not fair to be in a relationship when one of you isn’t totally happy with the other, and it’s not fair to be in a relationship where one person is constantly thinking of another.

You tell Adrien that you think you’re better off as friends, and understandably, he gives you a cold shoulder that matches the chilly January winds. Adrien leaves Monaco in February to go back to England to resume his medical studies and you can’t wholeheartedly say that you’ll miss him this time.

Max knows from Andy that you broke up with the Frenchman and he stays away for a few weeks in case you’re still getting over him but comes to your apartment around Valentines Day out of impatience. The Dutch man is a welcomed sight, and he happily reclaims his chair on your balcony and helps you make dinner, just as he’s done a million times before.

To make up for the time lost, Max comes over almost every day until he has to leave to train for the upcoming 2022 racing season at Red Bull Headquarters. In the true nature of your friendship, you welcome him home with a bag of cookies and without knowing it, you both decide you hope you don’t find another boyfriend anytime soon.

Life goes on a bit like this; Monday through Wednesdays, Max comes over for breakfast and dinner, the two of you somehow never running out of conversation. Thursday through Sundays, Max is in a different city, racing and dominating the track. Sunday nights and Monday mornings, a bag of cookies and a rant about the weekend is expected.

And every hour of every day, you two are unknowingly thinking about how much you wish the other would never leave. When you two hang out with your friends, they know for a fact that you two are the last people are Earth to know that Max likes you, and you like Max.

It’s every longing glance and hug that lasts a bit too long that reveals your feelings for one another. They think it’s adorable but also a bit pathetic because it goes on for months, so you can imagine the relief when the invitation arrives in Max’s mailbox.

The Grand Prix Trust is a charity used to support anybody that was actively involved in Formula 1. The Trust gave aid to anybody that was going through financial problems and enabled clients to continue in the motorsport industry. The charity allowed promising young drivers to continue competing and keep employees working with their teams.

Donations are the main source of income for the trust and to keep the flow of donations going, the team behind the cause chose to host a charity gala. It would be a huge event held in April and even though just about everyone in the F1 community was invited, plus one’s were heavily encouraged.

Max knew he was attending, it would be almost wrong not to, he just needed a plus one. The first and only person that came to mind was you, but if he wanted to bring you, he needed to ask you and that was far too nerve wracking.

He received the invitation a month in advance and both he and his date needed to RSVP within the week, which meant Max had less than 7 days to ask you.

He thought it over for a bit, and instead of asking you on your balcony over the dinner you made together, he accidentally blurted it out while you were cooking in your apartment. “Will you go to the charity gala with me?” He didn’t even realize that the words escape his mouth until you’ve turned around.

“What?” The Dutch wants to smack his own face in idiocy. “Oh, um, do you want to go to the charity gala? With me?”

He adds the last part quietly. Instead of laughing in his face like he thought you would, you smile at him. “Yeah, Max, I’d love to go with you” He has to move his head away, so you don’t see his reddened face and lovesick smile.

“Be careful, do you want to set off the smoke alarm again?” He jokes. “Do you not like how it turned out the last time that happened?”

You spend the days leading up to April 16th putting your outfit together and preparing yourself for the event. You weren’t usually nervous about these types of things, but Max told you to expect hundreds of people and you’ve never met any of them before, so you’re sure your anxiety is understandable.

You and Max speculate about the gala all the way until Saturday night when you’re in your respective apartments getting ready. Max has been ready for about half an hour and is waiting on his balcony, nervously. “Y/n! Are you ready yet?” He shouted, knowing that your balcony door was open enough to hear him.

“Almost! Two more minutes!” You yelled, putting your earrings in and checking yourself out in the mirror. You had a gorgeous dress on, shoes and jewelry to match, and a beautiful hairstyle to complete it. You stepped out onto the platform. “Okay! I’m ready!” You looked up to see Max standing over his railing.

“You look amazing, liefde” (love) The pet name slips out in his awed state. He’s known you for almost three years and he’s seen you dressed up before but not to this extent, he had to remind himself to close his mouth and stop staring. “Hold on, I’ll be right there!” He called out before closing the door and making his way down to your apartment.

He knocked on the door, even though he knew he didn’t have to. “Are you ready?” He said as he held out his hand once you opened the door. “Yeah, let’s go” You placed your hand into his outstretched one and locked your door.

He held the car door open for you and let music fill the nervous silence on the way there. The venue is just outside Monte Carlo, so it’s not a long drive but you feel like the scenery passes by slower than usual.

It’s an extremely high-profile event, so as soon as Max’s car pulls up in front of the red carpet leading up to the doors, the flashes of cameras fill your vision. The driver gets out before you to open the car door and offer his hand. As soon as your face is visible, the clicks of the photographers seem to multiply and the only thing you can do is to keep smiling while Max keeps a hand around the small of your back and guides you along with carpet.

Just as your neighbor told you, you only have to stop along the carpet to pose for photos, interviews are optional, and Max would gladly skip media at any event. The venue is beautiful, filled with people mingling around courting a date and champagne glass. He leads you to your table where a few people are already seated.

“Y/n, this is Daniel, and his girlfriend, Heidi” Max has told you all about the Australian Mclaren driver and you can’t help but mirror the smile on his face.

“Hi, Daniel, Max has told me all about you, it’s nice to meet the man behind the stories. And it’s nice to meet you, Heidi, I love your dress” You compliment the woman sitting beside Daniel.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/n. And Max has told me all about you too” The older man grins and winks at Max. “It’s nice to meet you as well, Y/n, you look beautiful” Heidi says. You thank her and Max points to the couple next to them.

“That’s Lando, and his girlfriend Luisa, that’s Charles, and his girlfriend Charlotte, and that’s Carlos, and his girlfriend, Isa” He finishes, pulling out your chair and sitting in his own.

“Everyone, this is Y/n” You smile at everyone around the table after Max introduces you. “Not your girlfriend, Max?” Lando jokes as Lusia hits his arm.

“No, I live in the apartment below him actually, and we’ve been friends since he first moved in” You deny, but no one missed the smile and blush on each of your faces.

“Y/n, do you want to go grab drinks with us?” Charlotte asks you. “Yeah sure, I’d love one” All five of you get up and they lead you to where a waiter is walking around with a tray. Max watches you talk and laugh with the other girls with an infatuated smile.

“Just friends for a while, Max?” Daniel teases.

“Yes, we are just friends” The Dutch shrugs.

“Well, you shouldn’t be” Lando emphasizes. “Mate, it’s so obvious you like each other. Tonight’s the perfect night, just tell her how you feel and kiss her”

“When did I ever tell you I liked her?” Max questions.

“You didn’t, it’s just extremely obvious” Carlos interrupts.

“Do not worry, Max. We saw the way she looks at you, trust me, she likes you” Charles assures. Just as Max is about to respond, the five girls walk back to the table, giggling.

“You picked a good one, Max” Luisa teases as you just blush and smile. “Okay, okay, that’s enough. Y/n, I’m going to go donate, do you want to come with me?” Your neighbor says, offering his hand once again. “Yeah sure, I’ll grab my purse” You reach behind you and get up from your seat, leaving your friends smirking at the table.

“I’m sorry about them, they just-” You interrupt. “Max, it’s fine. I like them” You squeeze his hand as you both place your donations.

You two go back to your table and continue to talk, mostly about you and Max. You share stories about each other over the years, all with grins and flushed cheeks. When the music starts playing, almost everyone seated floods to the main floor to dance to the live band on the stage. It’s mostly upbeat music until a slow song starts to play and people pair up on the floor.

“Will you dance with me?” Your date offers his arm. “Of course” You smile as you wrap your arms around his neck, and he moves his arms to around your waist. It should’ve been awkward, two ‘friends’ just staring into each other’s eyes, swaying to the music but it wasn’t. Max’s eyes were enchanting, and the music playing softly in the background created a beautiful atmosphere.

“Do you want to come outside with me?” He leans toward you, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Yes” You whisper back as your date takes your hand and leads you outside.

The venue has a patio overlooking the city and the view of all the shining lights below you combined with the glow of the stars above you sculpted a captivating scene.

He brings you to where the railing stands and grabs your hands. “Y/n” He takes a breath before staring into your eyes.

“Y/n, I really like you. I’ve liked you for a while now and I know you broke up with Adrien a few months ago and we live really close, and this could go terribly wrong, but I had to tell you”

“Every time I come to your apartment it’s like a completely different world, one where I don’t have to put on a face and answer a bunch of nosy questions, I can just breathe and talk and laugh with you for as long as I want and It’s the only world I want to live in. I know-” At that, you’re looking at him with so much love and the only thing you can think to do is cup his face and press your lips against his.

Max responds immediately, moving his hands around your waist and kisses you back. He moves his lips against yours before pulling away. “I really like you too, Max” you say, not moving your hands from his face. Even after his speech, his face didn’t redden until then.

You two walk back into the gala, smiling like idiots, and the eight others sitting at your table grinned knowingly.

“I’ve only known about those two for a few hours, but I feel like I’ve waiting ages for them to get together” Heidi says to her boyfriend.

“Yeah love, knowing him, they have”

#formula 1 driver imagines #reader insert #max verstappen x reader #formula 1 imagines #reader x f1 driver #best friends to lovers #slow burn #neighbor trope?

[shannonsketches]

I noticed that the element of the triforce that the individual characters are supposed to represent, is also their weakness. Zelda's wisdom is being stifled by doubt and lack of experience; she's eager to learn, but her zeal is not enough and relies on faith and Link to save the day. I'm not implying that wisdom and faith cannot go hand in hand, but she needs to be able to represent her element more. Maybe her wisdom is knowing when to wait and allow someone else to bear the task? But it takes away too much initiative from her. Ganon's element is power but he's the one who ends up losing almost every time. And Ganondorf on his own, isn't powerless! He's a king, he knows magic, he can wield almost any weapon, he's patient, conniving and intelligent and knows how to make best with what he has. He isn't weak! And yet, the whole split happened, because he was feeling powerless.

They locked themselves in a self-sabotaging cycle that's powered by doubt.

Yeah! So one of the reasons I really love the Triforce lore is that it’s a three-way mirror that reflects both what the user has and also what they need (very wizard of oz).

Ganondorf is a very powerful man, physically, and magically.

Politically, though, he’s next to helpless, which is an awful thing for a king to be. He’s a king of thieves in OoT, because the Gerudo are not a wealthy or thriving nation there. In-Game they don’t have a local living area like the other regions (or even a store — just one floating bombchu salesman in the middle of the desert) — they’ve got a post-war fortress full of guards, and a temple that is being used as a secret base Hylians can’t get to.

Consider also, Ganondorf is the most highly decorated of the Gerudo, and he’s not decked out in gold. He’s wearing mostly iron and topaz. Nabooru and Twinrova are the only ones who have gold fixtures/jewelry along with the higher ranked guards for their protective elements (which is why I think it could arguably be pale bronze or yellow brass, which is a common and highly durable gold alternative).

The Gerudo are implicitly just surviving in OoT, and Hyrule speaks of them like they’re monsters (except for the one guy in town who has a fetish). More than that, WW establishes that his real grief comes from the weather, which any mortal is powerless to control.

So Ganondorf is powerful as a person, but powerless as a king, which is literally the only thing he was born to be.

Be that as it may, though, he is a well-loved king, and a survivor, and a thief, so he also has to embody both wisdom and courage too!

Zelda is the most obvious mirror to Ganondorf. She is a very powerful woman politically and magically, but physically-- compared to Ganondorf -- she's terribly meek. That's the obvious read, that they're 1:1 Parallels, but her real weakness lies in her courage.

Zelda (in OoT) leans on her massive political power -- In the child timeline, she literally sees a foreign dignitary executed before he does anything wrong, based on a recurring dream she has.

Do you know how insane that is? Do you realize how powerful she is?

Ganondorf is not just some guy -- he's a foreign KING. He's a KING that a TEN YEAR OLD had EXECUTED based on VIBES.

And we think she embodies wisdom because her vibes were (as we, the audience know) correct. But it's actually because as an adult, she understands that none of it needed to happen that way. That the only reason Ganondorf was able to pull off his stunt and get the Triforce at all was because she tried to control the situation, sending Link to gather everything Ganondorf couldn't get himself and put it all precisely where Ganondorf needed it to be.

Despite being a child at the time, by the end of the story, by the time she's Sheik, Zelda is taking full responsibility for what happened, and is doing everything in her now extremely limited power to fix it. She's so sorry to need Link, and at the end of it all is desperate to give him another chance to be a kid, and to be innocent, and to be happy, because she realized so quickly that she never should've involved him, visions be damned. She knows none of it was his fault or his business, and she's mortified that she dragged him into it in her own attempt to control the weather.

These other two items shift in other games -- WW and Twilight Princess show us a Zelda with tremendous courage and very little power, physical or political. And then the Wild's era, despite removing the Triforce narrative, shows us a Zelda with immense power and terrible guilt and insecurity -- her power locked behind her fear, and she is only able to access both when she embraces courage.

Which brings us to Link.

Link, on the surface, is a third wheel in a chess game between ancients. But the reality is that he's the base of the prism. He's the foundation that reflects both of the others.

There are MANY different personalities for Link, and personally my favorite gag is that Link is simply too stupid to be scared, but that's just a gag -- because something I've come to really enjoy and respect about him is that he consistently displays fear. Link embodies courage because he is full of fear and chooses to fight anyway. Link leads a good life. He is comfortable, he has family, he has friends, he knows peace. What makes Link courageous is that he is willing to give up his access to all of that if it means that everyone else keeps theirs.

Link will lock himself in a room with the apocalypse if it means he's the only one who gets hurt, and it's not because he believes this is his sacred duty, or his life's purpose -- he'd much rather be at home chasing chickens around or riding his pony through some pretty scenic route -- it's because he is so full of love for other people that he's willing to give up anything to keep them safe.

Link's not very powerful, but he is also unburdened by any desire to be powerful. Link's not very wise, but he is unburdened by any desire to be wise. Link is content in who he is, Link is happy to keep things simple. But Link is so brave that he becomes a leader, which actually makes him the most dangerous of the three.

Courage, unburdened, is fucking terrifying. To both Wisdom and Power. Because, unlike Wisdom and Power, Courage is contagious.

Link can empower and inspire and reveal truths others might not have been able to find on their own. Link doesn't need charisma or brutality. Link can build armies just by being observed.

"But Sketches, you haven't really said anything about how Link reflects the other two." It's subtle! But he does. I see it like this:

• Ganondorf reflects Link's relentless determination, refusing to stand down in the face of impossible odds. In this way, they're connected by their power and courage. • Zelda reflects Ganondorf's burden of being born in a crown, forcing them to learn leadership, and how to use their recklessness strategically, as children. In this way, they're connected by their power and wisdom. • Link reflects Zelda's sense of love for the faceless innocent, and her dedication to protecting all who can't protect themselves. In this way, they're connected by their courage and wisdom.

Because the inherent configuration of the triforce requires those connections to be balanced -- Separately they are overwhelmed by their traits. Ganondorf is willing to sacrifice everything he is in order to reach his goals, Zelda is so pre-occupied with preventing prophecy she ends up instigating it, and Link is so ready to step in and help that he never considers the consequences.

Every single one of them, left to their own devices, would rather see themselves destroyed than fail those who may or may not be relying on their success. They're all very similar, highly reflective characters who all represent compelling foils for each other and yes, display how their unfettered strengths are also the thing that damage them most.

#i LOVE triforce plot #I will never stop loving triforce mythos #FUCK good versus evil give me people being desperate and flawed #lozhc #oot eidolon #this is a very sloppy disorganized essay but I'm done looking at it I'm setting it free laksjdla

[always-is-always]

Post-June 2025...what will we see?

Hmmmm. Okay, so I'll just put this here, and we will either see just how wrong I can be 😁 , or just how spot-on I can be. 😇

With recent developments in the movement of furniture, from Jimin's place to his Dad's cafe', I'm just going to say what is in my mind. We are going to see Jimin moving into that big 5-level home, that Jungkook is building. Yeah.

Don't quote me. And, don't dog me either. lol... this is just my little ramble based on stuff that I sense (there's a ton of that), and simply observing what we have been shown (subtle as some of it is). Yeah.

After they finish this life-changing 18 months of literally living side-by-side, I think that they will not want to separate themselves from one another. Again, that is just my thought/sense, and that's that. lol... I'm not sayin' it is absolutely correct, but I am sayin' that it is absolutely a possibility. 😆 And, being free of their MS requirements actually takes the legalities of being a queer couple out of their future timeline. Meaning, they will no longer have to consider things quite the way they did in 2023, prior to their application to enlist as companions, and after it had been accepted.

After June 12 2025, they will be FREE. Sure, they have the constraints of their culture, the fandom and their industry. But they are also well enough established that they have far more wiggle-room, and they have more power in their personal choices. Honestly, they have enough money between the two of them that they don't have to work another day in their lives, if they chose not to. They are that wealthy. (I think we forget that they work by choice.)

It feels like this time that they have AWAY from the cameras, away from the fandom, away from Big Hit and HYBE, is the biggest gift that they could get. I'm reminded of 2020. I actually feel that the insanity of the 2020 lockdowns and cancellation of their public performances gave them the break they needed, and the time to be together that they needed. If I've really learned anything so far from all the original content I have been watching, it is that the members NEEDED to have their own space to live in, and privacy.

Right now, Jimin and Jungkook are in their military bubble, safe and sound, and exactly where they chose to be as companions. Afterwards, I think that they are planning to be housemates, once discharged.

So, there. I said it. We shall see what comes in 2025....

One more thing. I am not saying that they will come out, as a couple. That is a whole other can of worms. But as I have written before, if they can pull off applying to enlist as companions AND actually enlisting as companions, they CAN pull off being housemates (without putting any label on it publicly).

Another ramble that just kinda happened. Blame my fingers for just doing their thing, and that other thing called, "intuition". Yeah.

2025 is going to be an interesting year. For sure.

#jeon jungkook #park jimin #jiminie #jungkookie #jikook #kookmin #jk #jm #got my crystal ball #what will 2025 bring for jikook #cant wait

[o-wild-west-wind]

so after the s2 teaser drop the pirates have been ping-ponging inside my brain for the past few days rapidly enough to reach a boiling point and I think it’s just cooked a theory: the Kiss™ was, for all intents and purposes, a marriage proposal—and Ed’s not raiding weddings just because he feels like the possibility of a future marriage is off the cards, but because he sees himself as, quite literally, having been jilted by a man who just said yes to his proposal.

Prefacing that a) I know the historical context is not (and absolutely should not) be given much weight in this show, and b) I am not a historian (so please correct me if I say anything patently ~falshe~) but that said and with my only qualification as being a Certified Slut for period dramas, I think a case could be made that this show—and Ed specifically—could be assuming an era-specific formula for romance.

While the majority of society was kind of a free-for-all when it came to sex/marriage/etc. in the 18th century, the upper echelons were still bound to a relatively strict level of propriety, as well as transactional views of a relationship; and at the same time, this was a period when the notion of marrying for love was rising in popularity (Stede, of course, is the poster child of someone forced into this contradiction). For the upper classes, you'd be lucky to get a period of courtship before the actual marriage, because if you did, it meant you got a shot at getting to know the person you were going to end up with (and had the potential for love). And—as such—courtship was kind of a thrilling, romantic thing with a few common qualities: it tended to be very public, very loaded & grandiose, and very brief, and even though it didn't have to end in marriage, marriage was always the end goal. You can probably see where I'm going here.

I think it's easy to read the "you wear fine things well" scene as a possible soft-launch of their courtship, and Lucius's nudges solidify it. Courtship was traditionally full of big, romantic gestures—maybe planning treasure hunts and setting ships on fire weren't typical ones, but they sure do count—and as much "getting to know you" as possible. Like dating, it was the time when you'd learn the other person's values, hobbies, preferences, etc., except perhaps to a shallower degree given the typical lack of privacy. If anything, Ed and Stede have a leg up in this respect.

Now, I do think it's a misconception that the majority of marriage proposals in this time happened after, like...3 weeks of knowing each other, but the trope is there for a reason. It was a lot more common for the engagement period to be the time you really got to know each other, and it wasn't abnormal for the engagement to last longer than the actual courtship; a marriage proposal kind of WAS the first truly official step in someone's relationship socially, emotionally, and physically. And while this might not have been true of the rungs of society Ed has been a part of, it definitely would've been true of Stede's.

Now, I don't think Stede is really thinking consciously of all of this during the timeline he's with Ed; he's intent on breaking all the rules he's felt strangled by his whole life. But Ed—he wants all that. He loves the idea of an aristocratic life, but he's also a romantic who wants an aristocratic love. Like how so many of us romanticize Jane Austen novels because it's a world we're so far removed from, Ed probably romanticizes love in Stede's world. He doesn't want the free-for-all he's been living; he loves the thrill of a courtship, of gentlemanly sensibilities, of the metaphorical dance of it all. And when an upper-crust gentleman appears to have initiated this courtship—and when he's being encouraged by everyone (except Izzy, but there's even more romance in rebellion) to reciprocate—he's going to indulge in it with all his heart. He's literally living a romantic novel dream world, and once he's sure of Stede's feelings, he has absolutely no reason not to expect that their trajectory is marriage. Sure, Stede is a pirate now—but he's still a gentleman, and isn't that what being wooed by a gentleman means?

So when they're in a desperate situation and the bar for grand gestures can't go higher, and they experience true privacy for the first time ever, and Stede kisses back, and he says yes to running away together—and Ed even asks for confirmation to make sure it’s all for real—"yes?" "I think so?" "yes!"—that's as good as a vow. That's a promise on par with a proposal. And this is probably when it clicks for Stede, too—he hears Mary's words, "we never would've chosen each other," and suddenly he realizes that he can finally choose love! And so there they are: relationship made official, 1700s style.

Cut to Ed, crashing weddings and stealing little cake toppers in dramatically tragic, anachronistic fashion—because, well...they were supposed to get married, weren't they? Because that's what gentlemen are supposed to do, or so he thought. But in reality, gentlemen aren't romantic; they're just fickle.

And let the divorce arc commence.

#i went for a thesis brainstorming walk and came back with this can i send this to my advisor instead #and apologies if this has been said before and I didn't notice i've been awol from fandom for a while and i miss her sm #also obligatory note that i think Kraken!Ed is 100% Izzy's doing but i do think the sims wedding era is something closer to his true self #and i love him for it <3 #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #our flag means death #blackbonnet #edward teach

[scribble-brain-aced]

more sans au headcanons because if i do not share them, i mayhaps will explode into a million pieces

• i once broke my school computer (stay with me here) and the inside of it smelled like chemicals. like nail polish remove, but more hospital. that’s what the anti-void smells like, and by extension, error.

• getting the feeling that Killer is a bit obsessive with who he likes. like, he won’t straight-up stalk them because he knows that’s apparently terrifying for the victim, and he doesn’t want that. but he WILL watch them really carefully, hang out with them as much as possible, and probably write a list about them. generally, really toeing the line between ‘okay’ and ‘kinda creepy’.

• Dream and Nightmare have synesthesia. Dream can see emotions, Nightmare can taste and smell them. (Although, he thinks it’s weird, so he doesn’t talk about it at all.)

• dust is from a Handplates AU, Killer was homeless until 18, and Horror is part of Gaster’s split brain if you’ve seen Matpat’s theory.

• nightmare has about a million ways to pass the time because as a kid, he had like no social contact whatsoever, and instead read a lot, screamed into a forest, pondered the meaning of life, and made up several conspiracy theories. because he was bored.

• yknow how the Gang is portrayed in this awesome gothic castle/mansion? well, the Stars are permanently broke. they literally just share a tiny little hobbit-hole house in the omega timeline.

• Nightmare stole a money-printer from the government in a Mafiatale AU. that’s how he’s so rich.

• also Killer somehow got everyone to name it Jasper. like, if Dust ran out of money, Horror will just tell him “go talk to Jasper.” and everyone just accepts it.

• cross and epic have a thing where if either of them say the word corn, they chant the corn thing from Slimesccle. they have no clue where it came from.

• error, nightmare, cross, epic, and chino have started the Fresh Hate Club.

• Nightmare somehow keeps getting mistaken for Satan. He doesn’t know how. (and it definitely does not bring his already-low self esteem down.) But if there’s a satanic cult nearby, he won’t correct them, in case they can be useful.

• You know how gods have a ‘true form’ that’s ineffable to mortals? all of Reapertale, Ink, and Error. Reaper’s gonna teach Ink and Error how to access their true forms. Dream once saw Ink’s true form and fucking sobbed because he could barely handle it. he’s not a mortal, so he’ll live, but he can barely comprehend it.

• (inspired by The Stupid Chair on ao3). the gang has The Stupid Hat. it’s a horrible bright yellow neon construction hard hat that gets duct-taped to someone’s head if they’re dumb enough to make an easy mission complicated. ex, if Dust provokes the Stars into a fight during a supply run, he gets the hat.

• ccino is a licensed therapist, but he is still depressed

• dream and nightmare have a lot of insecurity around the auras they emit. ‘do they genuinely like me, or do they like my aura?’ ‘does my aura make them feel that negative? do they wish i weren’t here?’

• cross and killer impulsively started a band called StashMark. They made the instrumentals for half of a song and that’s it. nothing else. they forgot to actually do stuff.

• Dust gets really nervous around medical, scientific places, and doesn’t trust any doctors or scientists except for Sci. but he still refuses to take anything from him, whether it be a shot, or a lollipop. he’s just not having it.

• killer sleeps on the floor because sleeping in a bed still feels strange to him. he also keeps the windows open because he used to sleep in the cold. gets really anxious about the price of something, money in general, so even if he can afford something, he just steals it.

• horror will get random flashbacks of the Core, or Gaster, and he’s not sure why, but on the rare occasion he meets a Gaster, he always ends up feeling “fake” afterwards. like he’s not supposed to be here, not supposed to do this.

#error sans #nightmare sans #ccino sans #dust sans #killer sans #horror sans #dream sans #ink sans #reaper sans #cross sans #science sans #epic sans #sans au headcanons #utmv headcanons #undertale headcanons

[dreamescapeswriting]

Small PSA...

Hate seems to be something growing inside of my inbox at the moment and I just wanted to address this anon. Yes. THIS anon because it is quite clearly only one person making these comments (And more) 🙃💀

First of all, Hi there. Lovely to meet you, do you make a habit of doing this to people online?

Secondly, I have said this a million times before but I'm dyslexic so sometimes spelling mistakes or even mistakes slip past me....Even if I read, reread and reread again and again over and over. A lot of the words slip through because my mind thinks that they're written correctly.

Ie. Sometimes I will write "box" instead of "books" and not realise because my mind sees it as right. There's times where I writing Changbin instead of CHANGING.

I'm not using my dyslexia as an excuse. I never have and I never will. But I also won't be bullied because I happen to have a few spelling mistakes here and there. I try so hard to make sure everything is correct for you guys. I also use grammarly a lot and sometimes it'll suggest something for me to use...even if it doesn't look right I'll use it because the Grammarly website said it's 100% correct.

If I have to start adding it to the beginning of every single post I will.

Thirdly, Writing is something I want to do for a living, if you don't think I'm good enough maybe you could suggest ways I could improve rather than being nasty to me behind a anonymous button. I picked the nicer asks that you sent me, as I didn't want to put the truly disgusting ones on my timeline. Ones where you have told me to end my own life, or to do something not so nice to myself.

I think it's truly disgusting that you think it's "funny" or even "clever" to hide online and say these things to people you don't know and don't even know what said person is going through.

If you don't like my writing, my writing style or even my mistakes. Block me. Or better yet, politely tell me where I made a mistake in the comment section or through a private message so I can improve?

The reason for my break is because of anons just like this one. Anons like this make it hard for me to want to continue to provide content for everyone because they make me feel as though they're right. That I should give up on writing but I won't.

Writing is one of the only things that bring me joy and I will continue to provide you with pieces as long as you'll have me.

Thanks in advance.

M.

#ms updates #sorry for the ramble #I'm just sick of seeing this anon and more in my inbox #words hurt

[readychilledwine]

do you ever feel awkward writing for Eris? I saw your poll about doing an SJM bad guys week, so I'm guessing not.

Warning - This is going to become SJM critical. Please know I am not anti any of these characters. I am, however, critical of SJM as a long-time fantasy reader.

You answered your own question in your ask there, friend.

I do not have issues writing for Eris. The main issue the fandom has with him is the situation with Mor, and here's my stance on that:

We have an issue with the timeline around this incident, so I will make my judgement call when SJM does her eventual retcon and fixes it.

We know Eris is younger than Mor and Rhys, who are around the same age. Mor was sold to Autumn as Eris's bride at the tender age of 17. When Helion is giving us his gorgeous monolog talking about his love for Momma Autumn, we find out that she and Beron were married young and had barely been married for two decades around the start of the first war. Meaning Eris was around 19 at the time.

This passage from Rhys is a little hazy and unclear, but from how I and several other people took it, he was around 28 at the start of that war, meaning Mor was also around 27 to 28. That makes Mor at least 8 to 9 years older than Eris. Meaning, he potentially was a LITERAL child when he and Mor were engaged. He would have been around the age of 7 to 9 and already had the mindset to fear Beron.

This where I am going to look SJM critical. She is great at a few things, creating plotholes by retconing, and fucking up timelines due to her retconing.

Let's say she retcons to correct that issue. We still know Eris is younger than Mor by a year or two. So, let's say he was 15 to 16. At 15 to 16 years old, I want you to think about what you would have done in this situation:

You are a young prince or princess. Your father is a known abuser and racist. You all have just found out your betrothed has sullied themselves with a person your father considers below all of you, and you know it was done to get out of a marriage she did not want to be in. You and your men find her on the border of your father's court, beaten and with a nail in her womb. Here are your options:

1. You take her back to your father, the known racist and abuser. Thus making her, in reality, his problem. You have witnessed how your father likes to handle his problems. You also know he's angry and embarrassed this female made the choice to sleep with a lesser born bastard Illyrian over marry his high fae princeling.

2. You cannot risk touching her, so leave her somewhere her friends can find her without risking her or them having to enter Autumn. This will allow her to go home, where she is safe, and heal.

In both scenarios, Eris could not win. He either took Mor to his father and risked her death and was blamed for that, or he left her knowing her friends were more than likely coming and be blamed for that as well. He was now the villain in Mor's story regardless of what actions he took, and he was that villain as a teen. A literal child. As a child he picked to allow Morrigan life. To allow her to live without being trapped the way he and his mother are.

Eris, in theory, made a selfless choice. He made the choice to damn himself and his reputation for the sake of Mor and as he says, it cost him..

As for me being willing to write other SJM bad guys-

It is perfectly normal and acceptable in every other fandom to be attracted to the bad guys and to write dark fanfiction about them. You see it all time in Tolkien, Harry Potter, and (grossly since they are all children) it has resurged in the Percy Jackson fandom. Please have several seats and let me, and the several other people who are excited for it, enjoy my little story about Pollux, my reader, and his heavy cock that sways to and fro.

It's also, as someone pumping out the amount of content I am right now, really nice to get to write a dark fic with a villain here and there for a change of pace, so thank you to everyone who is supportive and open to me doing that.

#send anons #send asks #send questions #elizabeths.updates

[mamawasatesttube]

Do you have thoughts on how kon would be as a big brother to Chris and Jon? I've read Chris and Jon's comics and I'm writing a thing with them but I want to have their big brother be part of their character/internal problem solving even if he doesn't (as of yet) appear. But I've only read yj and superboy is unfinished/on my tbr so I'm going to the Expert

(If you have any thoughts opinions on Kara's familial relationships you can include those as well)

OOH OOH YES DO I EVER!!!!!

every time i think about kon as a big brother i immediately think of sb94 annual #2, which opens on kon taking a kid flying for his birthday and joking about him being superboy jr., kind of like his little brother. then we move to cadmus, where it turns out the prototypical experiment #1 (whereas kon was #13) has awoken and escaped his containment pod. he fights kon briefly, believing himself to be/wanting to be the "real" superboy, but is injured and collapses in kon's arms afterwards. it turns out he's not stable outside the pod and is dying; despite kon's best efforts to get the cadmus doctors to save him, he only lasts another few minutes. i'm personally never ever getting over kon's face when it happens (right after they both find out their dna donor was paul westfield):

SO!! with that being established backstory: i think kon would be soooo excited to be a big brother. he'd talk a big game and want the kids to think he's cool, and of course, he's a mega dork (he'd try to get them both into wendy, and if they didn't like it, he'd be offended). but imo, he's also gonna be so protective of them right off the bat, in large part because of poor clone #1. he's got a lot of feelings about people he's gotta protect, and little siblings are sooo high on that list.

one thing is that i don't think kon really thinks of clark as his dad. of course, it depends on the point in the timeline where you're really introducing chris and jon (because like kon was dead by the point of last son introducing chris, and fitting jon into new earth is always a fun puzzle), but (to be clear this is to an extent my hc also) by the time he's living with the kents, kon no longer wants superman to be his dad. i do think he does at first ("i wish i had parents" in sb94 #85 paired with how reactive he is about shooting down superman being his dad in sb94 #94), but when he moves in with the kents that dies down pretty fast. but he'd way rather the kids call him their big brother than, like, their uncle. that's so uncool (haha see, 'cuz uncle sounds kind of like uncool--aw, whatever)!!! it makes him sound so OLD!!!! he's not an uncle!!!

so overall i think it's like. he's a fun-loving and protective figure. they probably think he's So cool for a while, then get a little older and go oh wait. that's a dorklord. i do think jon throws one hell of a tantrum the day he finds out he's never gonna get ttk even if he grows into all the other kryptonian powers, though.

(i also hc that chris can get some weird funky powers other than ttk, not ttk itself, bc its like... kon is THE ttk guy, and thats a metagene designed to emulate kryptonian powers, so it feels a little weird to take something that specific and give it to another character who doesn't have any of the narrative reasons to need it. someone who knows more abt editorial please do correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure they only gave chris ttk because prior to infinite crisis, the nightwing in new krypton shown to be using ttk was supposed to be kon, and was changed last-minute into chris.)

so like, he'd be a figure they can count on, someone they regard as always in their corner if they yell for him. he'll take the heat if they get in trouble (he spoils them. lois however has a very uncanny ability to tell if kon's taking the blame for something they did). i think as they grow older they might be like ...why's kon our brother but he doesn't live with us? and doesn't call our parents mom and dad? because kon stays with the kents but just hangs out with them all the time, and he calls clark and lois "clark and lois", and understanding that their family isn't nuclear might be a learning curve for them.

as for kara, i'll try and keep it brief bc this is already long i'm so sorry sdkhj but i generally operate in the realm of postcrisis kara, aka linda lang. she's roughly the same age as kon and she's got a Lot of feelings re: new krypton and her own guilt and her duty to her family, as well as whether she as supergirl can really measure up to superman. i love her. i think she would Adore having baby cousins because they mean her family is growing, after all the people she's lost. that said i think it's very possible she's a little awkward with kids because she just doesn't have that much experience with them. but i think she'd teach them to draw, and she'd really earnestly try with both of them. she'd LOVE to teach them about krypton, too.

#answers #noon-shadows #kon #kara #chris #jon #superfam

[alittledizzy]

I absolutely agree with you on all points regarding the ask about Dan and Phil building an audience back, what's holding them back, etc. When they both started posting a little more regularly again after their coming out videos, and seemed to be hinting at trying to post content again, I was excited. However, I can't say I wasn't disappointed in Dystopia Daily. It's like Dan mentally cannot break free of 2016 internet humor, right down to even his snarking, depreciating humor about his audience being outdated. Phil has gotten much better about being himself on-camera, but you can tell he's still keeping it at arms-lengths. Which is fine, he's certainly entitled to create a healthy barrier, but watching the two of them in 2023 is like trying to straighten a slightly crooked picture but just not quite being able to get it right. Just...off. I think the tours were supposed to be their "grand finale" and now they just want to settle back into how things were before, but don't know how to do that without drawing from what they're comfortable with. Which they haven't done regularly since 2016, so that's their comfort zone. They want things to work within their comfort zone, but that might not happen.

"watching the two of them in 2023 is like trying to straighten a slightly crooked picture but just not quite being able to get it right"

this is the best description of them i've seen in recent history.

it's also something you can compare to other content creators that are still going; most have shifted content away from sit down stare at the camera videos into something softer and more blurred into their life. zoe and alfie vlog, louise vlogs, tyler streams on twitch. they're all still content creation but they've understood that the time for persona heavy youtube creating has come and gone.

i don't think dan and phil could, would, or should vlog. they wouldn't enjoy that. i don't even want phil to stop making sit down videos if he's that attached to the format! but they need to find what is their own middle ground between the rigid division of their pre-coming out selves and finding comfort with an audience. i think youtube for phil feels safe right now but i do not think it is on any level creative or challenging for him. i said something similar before, but watch even his 'questions i wouldn't normally answer' video and tell me he's pushing even a single boundary in it.

and if he is honestly happy with them having made their bank and likely being able to live on the interest from investments and residuals for the rest of their lives, more power to them. i'm here because i love them as people. i will never stop following them with passion and interest.

"I think the tours were supposed to be their "grand finale" and now they just want to settle back into how things were before"

i think this is correct and also where it gets even stickier because they are out of touch. with younger audiences and the content they want. with no video platforms and what does well there. i think they understand the audience they cultivated years ago very well, for better or worse, but that's not going to get them forward momentum.

i think a podcast would be a great way for them to safely do that. but i think their perception of how the audience would react to joint content is skewed too. phil gets numbers on meme tweets but nothing short of dan dropping an hour and a half 'here's a timeline of my relationship with phil' is going to pull ten million views so they've surpassed the era where they need to fear about making major headlines anywhere. they whethered that storm and i'm happy for them, i'm just not convinced they realize that. since obviously to a singular person any amount of direct attention is going to feel like a Lot.

#anon asks #phan asks

[waitmyturtles]

Let's do this! I'm so sad this lovely show is over, despite its structural flaws. But I was with the story from beginning to end. Be My Favorite, episode 12/finale!

Before I get into my FEELINGS, of which I have a lot, I want to note that I think I misread the timelines in episode 12, of which @lurkingshan in DMs (and here's her fabulous wrap-up post!) and @grapejuicegay in her meta (thanks for the tag!) both corrected me. During episode 12, I assumed that the intimacy of episode 10 was actually with future Pisaeng. I stand corrected: that future Pisaeng goes back to the future AFTER the conversation with Kawi in the amusement park. That future Pisaeng is left assured by past Kawi that future Pisaeng can't change what might happen that can't be changed. And that life should ultimately be lived with intention in the moment, and not with a design in mind to change anything that CAN be changed.

Okay, now that that confusion is out of the way (HA!), what did I take from this episode?

First, regarding my confusion (ha), I think the narrative structure depending on the jumping of the timelines ended exactly where it needed to end -- right at the edge of it getting confusing enough for an old mom like me to start forgetting all of them, ha. Unfortunately, I always have to take away a couple points from any show where me and the clowns are left to try to piece together a narrative after an episode is over -- my biggest demand of any show is that the story needs to be told convincingly enough, even if there's mystery, for us to end at least not confused, if not satisfied. But it's a small gripe, because by way of the previous philosophical references -- we kinda knew it was going to get confusing anyway. I appreciated that we left the jumping forwards and backwards behind in the end, that the ability to do so had expired. Honestly, though -- I think it also added a lot of intrigue and movement to the plot.

Leaving structure behind: after ALLLLLLLLLLLL of the references to SO MUCH throughout this show -- the philosophical references, @telomeke's INCREDIBLE post on Buddhist and other Thai cultural references, and so, SO much more -- what I LOVED about this episode was its utterly stripped-down approach, going back to a straightforward narrative after everything we learned about the past and the future. That what we were left with was dialogue and contemplative silence as Pisaeng and Kawi discussed HOW they would live their future, driving with the top down, and enjoying the breeze together.

These were such gorgeous metaphors for what would ultimately bring them both happiness and meaning in life -- that overthinking these things, that designing better futures for themselves with whatever powers they could muster, would ultimately not lead to ENTIRELY perfect outcomes for the both of them. That instead, a life that's well lived is one that can withstand outcomes that you may not predict. AND: despite your best intentions to change things that you THINK may not work.... they may end up working, after all. Kawi lives.

@telomeke: this entire episode may have been one big commentary on the biggest Buddhist philosophy of all -- that of enlightenment. I think Kawi emanated this the best during the conversation at the theme park. I love how Shan referenced @shortpplfedup's commentary on the Serenity Prayer, because I think that's part of what we got here. That ultimately -- we need to let go of control, of the tangibility of our existence, and focus on just living and loving, in order to find true happiness/satisfaction/fulfillment.

In the face of my gentle criticisms about the structural flaws of the show, what I'm left with here is satisfaction, emotionally, for Kawi and Pisaeng. I'm thrilled for where they ended up. I loved every minute of it -- I loved their contemplative happiness in the end.

But, this is me, right, LOL, and I'll posit one last clown theory. While we're talking about enlightenment and letting life live: we still have Max wearing a Pride pin at a wedding. We have Kawi and Pisaeng talking about getting married without legally being able to. We had discussion previously in the show that Pisaeng could move out of Thailand to get married and live a happy family life. He doesn't want to leave Thailand.

The back and forth of past to future, of communication improving over time, of lessons learned, of pushing forward in a path: if I'm to look at that from a political lens, I want to say that there's a lesson that BMF is offering, that we can LEARN from the past in order to live a better future. Again, after all the philosophical references -- I believe that what we're left with is a message of hope and optimism that things will change, over the course of its own time, that life will improve for every single person if we have the patience. (I always remind folks that it took DECADES of work to legalize gay marriage in America -- DECADES.)

Maybe the lessons of Kawi's illness, maybe even his dad's illness, not only serve to tell us that we can't change EVERYTHING, to EXACTLY the way that we want it, at the moment we are living. But if we want a life that is at least IMPROVED -- with intentionality, and with PATIENCE -- we can live that and do that, if we can trust and feel that our decisions will lead to some kind of betterment in the future. We know that future Max hasn't stopped working for equality. I think the lesson in this last episode is that we all shouldn't stop working towards that equality goal, despite the obstacles that all of us -- queer family and allies alike -- will face in our work.

Y'all: I AM SO GLAD I PICKED UP THIS SHOW. I recanted on Krist, I am TOTALLY IMPRESSED, WHAT?!, with Gawin -- this show was FABULOUS, and I loved every minute of it. Will GMMTV bring back GawinKrist? I'm going to guess not, but I appreciate the both of them biting the BL bullet and focusing on a show that had so many phenomenal themes to chew on. This was a great one, and it's going on my high recommendation list.

[I ALSO LOVED TALKING TO THE BMF FAM -- HEARTS TO ALL! @dribs-and-drabbles, @grapejuicegay, @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @pandasmagorica, @twig-tea, @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle (OOOOH, HEIDEGGER, GO OFF, I LOVE THIS!), @thegalwhorants, @rocketturtle4 -- I loved reading and being tagged in your meta! Will we assemble again for Only Friends?!]

#be my favorite #be my favourite #be my favorite meta #be my favourite meta #kawi x pisaeng #pisaeng x kawi #kristgawin #gawinkrist #krist perawat #gawin caskey

[yeenybeanies]

This is sort of a two-parter

Was part of why Price was so sad to see that Soap had hybridized himself because he knew it effectively halved his life expectancy? (Just saw your new tweet about hybrids rarely living past 50) and did Soap know it would do that?

Additionally would Gaz be any sort of exception because his species is so long lived? Or would it be burning the candle on both ends because he never stops growing, hence taxing his body faster

And then pt 2.

You said Ghost is effectively blind, how does that affect him with using firearms and how did the task force find out about that? I imagine he doesn't go about advertising it

aaaa i'm LIVING for these questions aaa thank youuuu!!!

putting under a cut bc it's a lil lengthy.

SO yes! that is definitely part of why price was sad! i haven't worked out a full timeline yet of events but price has been a hybrid for most of his military career (underwent the change when he was 19; he is currently 37, but him reuniting with soap was probably a couple of years ago). price was pretty well-informed on what hybridization would/could do to him, & how it would, among other things, shorten his lifespan.

when he was mentoring soap early on, working to get him into the SAS, soap had expressed a passing interest in undergoing hybridization, but price strongly advised against it. said he didn't need it. truly no one needed it. never went into much detail, though. soap didn't bring it up much after, so price figured it was settled. moved on.

so, when price does reunite with soap after soap's hybridization––which he did without telling price (he wasn't obligated to, & hadn't talked to him in a while)––price feels more than anything a sense of guilt. regret. like it's his fault for not doing more to talk soap out of essentially ruining his life.

made worse still because soap wasn't fully informed on what hybridization does. not for a lack of trying to find out so much as he was more or less lied to about it. he was fed the perks, while the downsides were downplayed or omitted.

gaz would not be an exception partially for your reasoning, yes. the continuous growing, even if it's slow, does tax the body significantly. & crocodilian longevity, it doesn't counteract the other strain that's put on the body as a result of the hybridization. the fact of the matter is that human bodies are not meant to be spliced together with these animals, & hybridization is not done with the recipient's health in mind. hybrids are created to be tools & weapons. so long as they can do what they were made to do, that's good enough.

so ghost is largely blind, yes. pretty much entirely blind in his left eye, & his vision is still pretty bad in his right eye. he can detect light (which he is still very sensitive to, despite the poor vision) & shapes, but not much else. he does wear contacts/corrective lenses, though. not a whole lot can be done for his left eye, but it's salvageable in his right, which is the eye that he shoots with anyway. it gives him decent enough distance vision that, with a scope, he can snipe just fine. (reading things up close, however, is a bit more of a challenge, as the contacts make him far-sighted.)

for closer situations, he doesn't really rely on sight at all. he instead uses his sense of smell, hearing, & echolocation. & he's damn good with it too. most people don't know that he's almost blind, because he moves & behaves like anyone with decent vision would. he tracks movement with his eyes, makes eye contact, & he can fight/shoot perfectly at close/medium range. hell, he can shoot better than most because he can work in pitch black with ease, & he doesn't need to be facing a target to know it's there.

price does pick up on the blindness almost immediately, since he's known ghost the longest & was there to help him adjust to his forced hybridization. & also because he's price. ghost knows gaz the next-longest, & probably just ends up telling him eventually. gaz suspected something was up (bc ghost is always wearing sunglasses, even at night), but never asked, & certainly didn't think that ghost's vision was as bad as it actually is. that surprised him, considering how ghost can still snipe. soap likely figures it out on his own after a while. just because of how his relationship is/grows with ghost & how close they end up becoming. soap is observant. notices how ghost squints sometimes, how he occasionally asks someone to read or summarize something to him, & other small things. & he might not ask about it either, but he'll start doing things to try & accommodate. writing/drawing things bigger. offering to read stuff for ghost (or just doing it unprompted). sharing audiobooks & music he thinks ghost would like. & when ghost does admit that he's mostly blind, soap's just like. oh. i know, but i'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me 🥰

#cod #john price #john mactavish #kyle garrick #simon riley #hybrid!price #hybrid!soap #hybrid!gaz #hybrid!ghost #hybrid au #guess i gotta make a tag for this now lmao #hyena asks

[archangelween]

Do big miracles preemptively affect reality, including the past?

I think the big miracle each season is following the phrase "Out of sight, out of mind, out of time". Each big miracle in each season seems to affect reality before it happens though.

Take a look at the similarities between seasons. Each bullet point in each season describes the same running thread, ie, the first describes the big joint miracle, the second the running references to that miracle, etc.

S1: Out of time

Crowley and Az take Adam out of time.

Constant references to being late and out of time.

Adam leaves hell, changes reality, removes the time of s1.

Adam doesn't want to rule.

Time ran in the correct order but they were always late, "out of time".

Did taking Adam out of time, and Adam removing time, affect everything in the present AND past to be late, ie "out of time"?

S2: Out of mind

Crowley and Az take Gabriel out of memory, aka mind. He is hidden so they don't know they're looking at him.

Constant references to not remembering things.

Gabriel leaves heaven; his presence snarls time, or does it snarl the memory of it?

Gabriel doesn't want to rule.

Time is messed up and an instance of being early.

Did hiding Gabriel from memory affect everyone's memory, present and past? Is that why flashbacks have elements of the future, like 1941 having Aziraphale's present waistcoat and desk layout? In s1 we were shown that the show we're watching is indeed a show, something recorded by god, like on god's cctv. If time is affected preemptively, then the recording would also be affected. The order we see things would be affected, even if we see things "as they are happening", like on "live cctv".

If the big miracle can reach backward to affect things before it, then does that mean the joint hiding-Jim-miracle should have happened at the end of the show, in e6, instead of e1? Just like the time stop was in e6 of s1?

Predictions for S3

S3: Out of sight

Crowley and Az take Jesus out of ... sight? So nobody remembers he ever existed? Or so that nobody can see him, he's invisible?

References to being unable to see things. We've already gotten some of that with Crowley squinting at stuff and "mass hallucinations" in s1.

Jesus "leaves" earth, finally fixes time.

Jesus doesn't want to rule.

Vision is messed up? Mass hallucinations? Too bright or too dark? Time runs backwards.

Time has been messed up every season, so I think in this last season Jesus will finally put it to rights. It was forward in the first, snarled in the second, so it'll be backward in the last. I am not real sure how the "out of sight" will manifest, or how not-right vision will be realized.

Bonus: face swapping

If big miracle energy causes effects to leech backward through time, does that mean that the face swapping miracle reached backward ALSO? And made Crowley and Aziraphale more similar each other in personality? Or did it mean they shared "essences", and that made them like each other?

If that's true, then they are a chicken and egg problem: did they like each other first chronologically and then swap faces, or did they swap faces first, during some iteration of god's game of life, and then come to like each other on a different go-round? We have evidence that there have been different timelines, different attempts at the same events, which means we've been through these events many times without people knowing they've done it before. A sort of time loop theory. So did Crowley and Aziraphale not like each other in the first go round, swap faces in later iterations, and that caused them to like each other in later iterations? Or vice versa? Or even, did they come to like each other, and swapping faces only intensified that, and that intensity was kept in later iterations?

#good omens #miracles #big miracle energy #s2 theory #s3 prediction

[mothxmoons]

Bringing you home.

Self aware au/ Yandere

It had been a couple of weeks since Wesker became aware of himself and the game he occupies. Of course everyone was else normal, there were a lot of parts of his universe that weren’t in the game, that you did not see. However things would go back or forwards in time depending on which game you were playing.

Frankly, he had seen everything so many times that he knew exactly what to do and how to counter it to make his plans go perfectly. However, he wants you to be there. Blaze a new trail with you by his side, a whole new universe, none of which no one could have ever seen coming. Who else could possibly be by his side? Who else to cheer him on as he cut down his, no, their enemies?

Sure, he could feel you when he touched the camera screen when you placed your hand against it as well. But he wanted the real thing. You would need some training of course but there’s nobody better than him. And you would also be safe, the safest in fact. Right next to him.

He’ll be sure to take care of you, to make sure you’re loved. He’ll let you know that your devoted love means absolutely everything and more to him. Now Wesker just needs you in his universe, with him. He just needs to wait for you to angle the camera to look at him.

“My player, may we talk while we wait for the enemies?” He asked suddenly, surprising you, you still weren’t used to that. Your fingers jolting off of the controls for a second.

You chuckled after calming down for a second and tilted the camera towards the front of him.

“Sure, Al, what did you need?” Usually he only talks to you when he’s bored, or accepting praise, or when he needed some ammo or something.

His character paused before titling himself towards the camera, it did not move away as the wall in front of him prevented it. Seeing as mercenaries is placed outside the timeline, if his theory was correct you two would be sent back in time to the last game you played. Which was Umbrella Chronicles. Perfect for him. Perfect for you. He knows how much you love to see him in uniform, with how you ooo’d and aaa’d at him in the first resident evil cutscenes.

“I just want to try something.” He said, placing one of his hands on the camera. One theory correct, he can press on it, and against it. Now onto the next theory, can he go through it and bring someone else back through? Only one way to find out.

He pushed his hand against the screen and to his surprise, it went through. And that shocked you as the surprise yelp left your mouth to see a hand come out of the TV screen. To his luck, you had a very big tv so he could easily push the rest of his body through and…presto!

“Hello, my dear player.” He greeted, now in your living room. Millions of questions rushed through your mind but mainly “WHAT THE FUCK” was playing like a mantra. You just stared up at him as he looked around, spotting the games he was apart of.

Wesker picked up one, and replaced the mercenaries disk. He then turned to you, smiled, or well smirked, and picked you up. If this is a hallucination or a dream, do not wake me up, you thought as he held you in his arms. He waited until the game showed up on the title screen, The umbrella chronicles, appeared. He then stuck one leg into the tv and his whole body next, bringing you with him. It was a bright flash of light before…the lab.

You looked up at Wesker, he was younger, in his STARS uniform you adored so much. He looked down to you, and smirked wide and menacingly. One hand coming to stroke your cheek longingly as your wide eyes stared up at him.

He looked back to where you two presumably came from. No more screen. No more camera. No escape.

“Oh my dear. We are going to do great things together. You’ll be mine…forevermore.”

#albert wesker x reader #yandere idea blurb #self aware au #fic

[bookishfeylin]

I love how feyre outright states that she wants to settle and learn to paint and "set down that savage, wild part of me that had only survived hour to hour" for Tamlin to then get shat on cause he wanted to give feryre the life she wanted...

I was talking about something similar here and here and here. As a big disclaimer for this post, it is WRONG for Tamlin to coddle and confine and control Feyre against her will in ACOMAF. I am not going to argue against that, because it is clearly wrong. What I will discuss is that it makes no sense for being coddled and whatnot to make Feyre feel like she's "drowning" and to be what triggers and compounds her trauma in the first place. It's a critique of the writing, not Feyre herself. With that disclaimer out of the way, let's begin.

Firstly: While Tamlin DOES NOT, as I've outlined in the first post, fall for Feyre because he sees someone dainty and feminine he can protect and provide for, you're correct that Feyre does explicitly want that type of life. @katymckateface pointed out that ACOMAF tries to retcon this and turn her into an adrenalin junkie and that it makes no sense, and I agreed, in particular because of what I wrote about how terribly Feyre's trauma is written (see the third link above). But we'll discuss trauma in a minute. For now, let's focus on ACOTAR 1. Feyre is her family's provider, the 'man of the house' as it were, so she's naturally tired. She doesn't want to be responsible for caring for others, wants to be able to enjoy life for herself and have someone else take care of her. This makes her suddenly hating this idea in ACOMAF very... strange. The book tries to argue that it's because of her trauma that she changes, but that excuse just doesn't work for me.

Secondly: About Feyre's trauma. The way Feyre's trauma is written makes no sense. After dying... shouldn't that have made her more scared of doing things? Of getting hurt? Of dying again? Logically, it makes no sense for her to desire danger and desire going on missions, when being in danger last time, and killing people in particular, is the main source of her trauma; and it makes no sense that being coddled and protected makes her feel overwhelmed like she's "drowning." Again, this is a critique of the writing, not with Feyre herself. I just don't know why it never occurred to Sarah that almost being killed and being forced to murder others traumatized Feyre UTM, so it makes no sense that going on dangerous missions where she's almost killed and murdering others heals her in ACOMAF. I do wonder if her original arc in ACOTAR 2 was about her withdrawing from the world and wasting away because she's so traumatized, and Tamlin, her family, and any new friends she makes were the ones who helped her out of that. If her original arc was that fear of death shouldn't keep her from enjoying life; that maybe she was originally going to learn to live, laugh, and love in spite of how dangerous the world is. At any rate, we live in the timeline where ACOMAF was published so we'll sadly never know. Anyway... The fact that going on life-threatening missions and doing dangerous shit in general is what Feyre finds healing as opposed to like. Living the soft life or whatever is interesting as she's apparently about to get this "soft life" anyway in ACOSF. As I said in my second linked post, do the stans actually like her arc in ACOMAF, or do they like that it's what Rhysand wants Feyre to be at the time, which is why when he wants her to play housewife they're fine with her throwing all her goals and desires and political aspirations from ACOMAF under the bus? And if, again, getting that life was "overwhelming" to her in ACOMAF and it made her trauma worse, shouldn't she also find this traumatizing now in and post ACOSF? Why wasn't Rhysand's overbearing nature and incessant coddling during her pregnancy to the point of putting her in a freaking shield triggering? And now post ACOSF, if being coddled and taken care of triggers her, how is she going to heal from the reproductive trauma she endured at the end of the book? Unless Sarah does a u-turn again in the future and decides that actually Feyre does find being coddled and whatnot healing. In which case I give up.

Thirdly and finally: again, the main issue with Tamlin is that he forces these things on Feyre without it being her choice to do so. He was rightfully called out for it, and I don't want anyone to think otherwise. But it doesn't change how bizarre it is that Feyre's character flips between wanting and loathing that life, seemingly for no reason other than the convenience of the plot, sadly doing a real disservice to the discussions of trauma these books attempt to have.

#ask #anon #acotar #anti acomaf #acosf #acotar analysis #anti sjm #feyre archeron meta i guess? #feyre archeron