#they have a special brand of angst that is very interesting to explore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cupofteaguk · 3 years

Text

switching my positions

summary: Fresh out of college, Min Yoongi makes a name for himself amongst his online fanbase as an artist who writes about the ins and outs of falling in love. But when he is signed to a record label, his producer insists that he reveal a public romantic relationship to weed off any potential scandals or dangerous assumptions about the source of his love songs. So who else should Yoongi turn to, but you: his manager—but more than that, his best friend and secret crush.

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

genre: solo artist!yoongi, manager!y/n, fake dating au, friends to lovers au | fluff/angst

warnings: yoongi starts off as a musician on youtube but it’s not really highlighted for most of the story, kim seokjin is a Hot Music Executive who’ll take good care of his favorite boy, jungkook gets promoted from a cameraman to a bodyguard and i love to see it <3, nayeon + hoseok cameo as radio show hosts BECAUSE THIS STORY HAS SO MANY CHARACTERS I’M SORRY, IU shows up as a ~superstar~ because i love her so much, it’s a slow burn fic what can i say, mutual pining, actually an idiots to lovers plot tbh ????, recreational alcohol consumption, POV switches occasionally but i try to make it as obvious as possible as to what is going on, mentions of insecurity, there’s angst BUT IT’S A HAPPY ENDING !!!

word count: 40.1k

a/n: big big thank you to @gukyi for being my fic consultant for this story! she encouraged me and believed in this story more than I ever could (and contributed like 50% of the foundation that made this fic into what it is), and also reminded me that yes this is a fic so no it doesn’t require one hundred percent accuracy to the music industry despite every discord message i sent her falling somewhere along the lines of “how realistic is this scenario…” she was a very big support for this fic, and this story wouldn’t have existed without her!!

and regarding the word count… my hand slipped. I’ve clowned this fic a lot over the past month but I am really happy that this is done and so so excited for you all to read it. Pls enjoy!!!!!!! Xx

CHAPTER 1: THE DISCOVERY

You’re late.

Yoongi lets you know that much as you have to shove your way through a rather large crowd of people to reach him. When he turns away from his keyboard to glance down at you, your chest is heaving and your knees are bent in order for your hands to rest upon your thighs. There’s a plastic bag curled on your arm, the hard plastic of CD cases reflecting off the street lamps.

“Sorry, sorry!” You breathe out, giving yourself a few more seconds to catch your breath. Nothing more, nothing less, because there is a crowd of people around you, currently staring you down, counting down the seconds until the clock struck 8:00—but many people wondering just who were you to shove your way towards the front. “The printer wasn’t working, and do you realize how difficult it is to get your stupid picture into these cases?”

Yoongi scoffs, walking towards you and holding both his hands out. “Don’t call them stupid, you took the picture,” He hisses, taking the plastic bag from you and rummaging through the many CDs you had to make for him last minute. After ensuring that everything he had asked for is in this very bag, he softens up. “But thanks for getting these done for me.”

You finally are able to straighten up into a full standing position. “Not my fault you underestimated how many of your wonderful fans were going to show up.”

Yoongi reaches over and presses his index finger straight into your forehead for that comment. The force knocks you back a few steps, and Yoongi takes your few seconds of distractions to pull a phone out of his pocket. “Just go off to the side, dummy, my show starts soon.”

“Fine, fine,” You tease back, easy smile, but your hand goes up to take the phone from him. “Break a leg, Min Yoongi.”

Yoongi gives you a playful glare but he turns away from you to line up his CDs along the now-table next to his set. As soon as he starts placing CDs atop the surface, a small line of people step from the crowd—pointing to the CDs and holding out a stack of cash. Yoongi nods, takes the money, and hands over the CD. This happens a few more times before the line of people have died down. Yoongi looks over at the significantly less amount of cases at his table, and looks over at you, where he flashes a thumbs up.

As Yoongi steps up to his keyboard and microphone, the crowd around him starts to cheer. The claps echo through the gathering of people, enough to draw the attention of passersby who crane their heads to see who has attracted so many listeners.

Yoongi’s fingers curl around the microphone. “Hey guys, thank you all for coming out today.”

The crowd claps back in acknowledgement, a few of them giving their own shy nods and waves towards Yoongi—gestures that the boy responds with his own nods and gummy smiles.

His attention returns back to the next set of words he’ll speak into the microphone. “I got a couple covers and original songs for tonight, all requested by you guys—so let’s have some fun today.” His voice is deep, raspy and gentle, croaks slightly along the edges, but a perfect reflection of the soothing nature he brings to his audience.

And you are attune to every single second of it. Of course you are. You blend into the crowd but really your responsibilities for Yoongi lie far beyond just packaging CDs for him and dashing through hoards of people at the last fucking second to make your delivery. You further prove this further by logging into his phone and clicking into the first background music he’s produced for today’s show. Using the music as a guide, Yoongi starts to sing. His fingers dance across the keyboard to bring an extra sound to his performance—to give it that extra live element that his fans love.

You know that Yoongi has added these additional things over the months because he adores his fanbase and would likely do anything and everything he could to give them the best experience he could offer. After all, they’ve propelled him to this very spot—his own little corner of the bustling city streets amongst all the bars, shops, universities, street food stalls, and cafes.

As the music continues from one song to the next, and Yoongi shifts his focus from singing to rapping to the in betweens, you see his passion. You hear it in his voice, in the way his lines string together where it seems like the boy doesn’t require oxygen anymore. Months of these live shows, even longer years to get here—and the people around him only continue to watch him in awe. Just like he’s done since the beginning.

Min Yoongi started off his music career on Youtube, where he uploaded music covers with his own special beat thrown into the mix. Yoongi enjoyed music arrangement (still does), and used his videos as an opportunity to explore that hobby and share it with people who could also enjoy it. And enjoy it people did, as viewers started pouring in and his fanbase grew in the form of positive comments and increasing subscribers. From some videos, Yoongi had always teased the idea of original songs he had written in various notebooks that expressed the wide range of his emotions—overall all the trials and tribulations of growing up: the notion of love in all its forms. Normally, there was always a fear of an audience losing interest at the prospect of original songs, especially coming from someone who previously arranged already popular #1 hits.

But that never happened with Min Yoongi. His songwriting abilities became part of his brand—became his entire brand. Yoongi always wrote out love to be more than sappy pop songs or tragic heartbreak. He established himself as someone who seemed to speak from the mind of every single person he came into contact with. At least, that’s what his comment section claims.

In the beginning of his Youtube career, you found Yoongi’s online persona unusual and amusing to say the least, but it was always clouded with an air of sweetness and sensibility. After all, you had known him about a year before Youtube was even an option for him to pursue. The pair of you met in a general ed college class—big lecture halls and voices getting lost in the background as the professors’ voice boomed through speaker systems. Yoongi had asked to borrow a pencil, and the pair of you spent the rest of the class making side-handed comments about the lecture material. You sat next to each other for the rest of the semester and have been friends ever since.

So it’s not like Yoongi’s core characteristics have ever been anything other than caring, thoughtful, or loyal—he’s just never been outwardly expressive about those emotions. But Youtube changed everything: it’s made him a more vocal person, more open about his feelings as well as his need to share those feelings with the world.

The world responded positively—wrote in the comments that they would love to hear some of his original songs, that he had already provided just a small taste of his talent and left them an insatiable desire for more.

As soon as you and Yoongi graduated, his commitment to Youtube increased tenfold. With the previous obligations of assignments, papers, and research internships out of the way, it left more time for writing, for filming, for editing, for sharing. As his work levels increased, so did his subscribers. And so did the attention.

You’ll never forget the day his followers suggested live street performances in one of Yoongi’s neighboring cities—a city street more specifically that was famous for taking in street performances of all origins and talents, a place for him to show off his freestyling on a keyboard and finally meet his fans firsthand. The idea caught on so quickly and vividly that Yoongi was immediately attracted to the idea. He held his first performance just a few months ago, as a thank you present for reaching one million subscribers. If you had trouble materializing Yoongi’s musical success before, the first live performance and meet and greet Yoongi hosted did well to eradicate all those thoughts.

Hundreds of people showed up—standing alongside the shops, restaurants, food vendors, and cafes that already lined the streets, everyone intersecting to meet the artist who made them feel heard.

You still remember that day very vividly. Yoongi had been so nervous that day, had worked so hard to put together the perfect set for his fans. Obviously, though, he had nothing to worry about. Soon, one show turned into two, and just like the request for live performances and meet and greets, the question of monetary compensation became a topic of discussion amongst Yoongi’s fans. That’s where the question of albums came into play: a singular place for Yoongi to put his covers and original place—and charge money for it as well!

As per the request, eventually you and Yoongi decided that exclusive covers and original songs would be part of his album as a way to open up different modes of access rather than take away an individual’s general (free of charge) chance to view Yoongi’s content and just simply support without having to spend money. The introduction of his albums has been a very recent development, something added into Yoongi’s live performances after the tenth show and usually always sold out by the end of any aforementioned show. From what you’ve been able to see as of now, the albums have been a good addition.

In terms of Yoongi’s current career, you acknowledge that it has always been you and Yoongi—him staying up late for last minute song-writing sessions or recording or arranging a specific set of chords he had been holding off for weeks, or you arranging the time and date of his live shows and fulfilling requests to put songs on CDs and figure out how to market those in an era of streaming services. And if there’s anyone who knows that he has what it takes to get big—it’s you. After all, you would do anything for him. As you would have done from the moment you met him.

An hour later—after twenty songs and a swaying crowd around him singing along—the last song fades out and Yoongi pulls back from the microphone to catch his breath. Everyone else around him seems to hold onto their own, before Yoongi pulls himself back towards the mic to utter his last words for the night: “Thanks for coming out you guys. I really, really appreciate it.”

In the midst of the claps and cheers, Yoongi smiles towards the audience, turns around to address the circle of crowd that has formed around him.

As some of the crowd begins to disperse and some begin to linger for a potential meet and greet, Yoongi hastily remembers to return back to his mic for one last word to his audience. “And thank you guys so much for one million subs!”

You smile to yourself as members of the crowd acknowledge his thanks with thanks of their own. As you watch Yoongi start disassembling his equipment for the night, you simply stand where you’ve stood for the past hour, allowing the crowd to simmer past you towards their next destination for the time. You pocket Yoongi’s phone into your coat, waiting for a few minutes, before you slip around towards the front of the crowd. There, a boy stands in front of a tripod, and his fingers dance around to unclip his camera from the standee.

“You get the whole thing, Jungkook?” You ask with the tilt of your head.

Jungkook whirls towards you, bright eyes full of excitement as he holds the camera with both his hands now. He utters your name. “Oh shit, yeah I did. We’ll get to see how Yoongi’s mic set up works.” He taps to the cord that connects the mic on Yoongi’s clothes and on his piano into the camera.

You perk up at the sight of new technology. “Oooh, going fancy with us, I see JK. Very future.”

Jungkook’s grin widens, as it always does when talking about cameras and filmography. “Yes. Future…” He stretches out the word with the exact dips, curls, and croaks the way Squidward does in that one Spongebob episode, which makes you laugh. Jungkook clicks through the video of Yoongi’s set that he’s just recorded, before he clicks the screen off and lowers the camera. “It’ll probably be better if I wait until we get back to look through the footage. I’m sure Yoongi is anxious to get back too…” He looks up towards where Yoongi is supposed to be standing a few feet away, but the younger boy trails off. “Hey, look over there.” He jerks his chin towards Yoongi. “Some guy is talking to him. Do you know him?”

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion—none of your college friends had texted saying they were going to come by and listen in on Yoongi’s set—you crane your own neck towards the direction Jungkook is gesturing to. Up ahead, Yoongi is indeed talking to some guy that you don’t recognize so of course it would peak your curiosity.

It’s a feeling that increases tenfold when Yoongi looks up, seems to find you from his search, and points across the space right at you. There’s even something in his eyes that beg you to walk over to him. This makes your frown deepen, because what the hell is this about?

Min Yoongi doesn’t allow for too much vocal expression that doesn’t involve the assistance of a keyboard or a music arrangement, but he speaks into the microphone without thinking. “And thank you guys so much for one million subs!” His smile widens as the crowd responds with the claps and cheers of their own—all responding to him and communicating with him. This is it, this is what makes coming out to do these shows all worth it. Obviously there’s a thrill he gets from being in front of a camera and another thrill from uploading a video that people can access from all over the world. But to see the faces of the people who have left positive comments underneath those aforementioned videos… now that’s a completely different kind of feeling he didn’t think he would enjoy so much.

So Yoongi steps away from the mic to put away his equipment for the day. He only gets so far as to open the case for his microphone and mic holder before he’s hearing his name behind him. Turning around, he is faced with a few unfamiliar and a few familiar fans that are asking him for pictures and a short conversation. He indulges them, of course he does, and he signs a few albums while he’s at it.

It’s like you always teased him about: he really is a softie for his fans.

The fan interactions only last for a few minutes, before another voice comes in—it’s a deeper voice and radiates so much confidence and presence that it actually halts the next fan from trying to finish a conversation with Yoongi. All gazes turn towards the source of the voice: it’s a tall man with broad shoulders, pointy boots and a long coat that drapes down, hands stuffed into the pocket of that very coat. He looks like a model.

The man gives an apologetic smile. “Sorry for interrupting, but I need to request a chat with Mr. Min and am in a bit of a hurry. Do you mind if I cut in for a moment?”

The fan gives a weak smile. “N-No problem.”

Yoongi gives his own small smile. “Sorry about that. Oh, here.” He quickly makes a grab for the CD in her hesitant hands, signing his name across the sleek surface. “Thanks for coming by. Have a good rest of the night.”

Her smile brightens. “Thank you so much!” With a quick little bow, she runs off towards her friends.

This leaves Yoongi alone with the stranger. “What can I help you with?”

The stranger extends his arm. “Mr. Min, I’m Kim Seokjin. I’m a music executive. Nice to meet you.”

Music executive. These two words pique Yoongi’s interest. Just enough. “Wow, uh, nice to meet you sir.” Yoongi can’t help but lower his head slightly in a small bow as he returns Kim Seokjin’s handshake.

Seokjin waves him off. “Oh, no need to be so formal Mr. Min. I just thought that I should finally come by to introduce myself. I’ve been following your Youtube channel for awhile and think that you’re extremely talented, very capable to be a recording artist, in fact.”

Yoongi blinks in surprise, completely taken aback by the direction of this conversation. When he came out for his show today, having a conversation with a whole ass music executive hadn’t been on the list of things he was expecting. Of course, it was always a dream of his to be a recording artist. But he thought something like that would always just remain a dream. “T-Thank you.”

Seokjin continues. “Honestly, this is the third live performance of yours that I attended. Artists like you who radiate lots of passion and dedication both through the screen and on a stage are pretty rare. But your confidence and presence is quite admirable.”

At that, Yoongi can’t help but laugh a little. He scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I wouldn’t call this a stage, Mr. Kim, it’s just a small street corner.”

Seokjin laughs. “Fair enough—but you treat this little street corner like a stage and I find that cool. It appears that that’s what a lot of your fans think as well.” He pauses. “Mr. Min,” He starts up again after a moment. “Have you ever considered becoming a recording artist? Signing with a music label, releasing music and being able to reach millions of people? Having concerts in venues all over the world?”

At the question, Yoongi utters a scoff of disbelief. “I have,” He acknowledges after a few minutes. “Having this youtube channel and these street performances is amazing…”

“Of course,” Seokjin replies with a nod.

“But sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to do more than that. So, to answer your question, I have thought about it before. Many times, in fact.”

Seokjin nods again. “What if I told you that I was interested in signing you, Mr. Min?”

Yoongi stares at that, stares and stares with unblinking eyes, one hundred percent of his attention on the man standing in front of him—waiting for the signs, waiting to see the laugh or the glint that gives away his prankster tendencies. But none of those things come. Seokjin just stares right back, challenging him to question him and agree to his claim.

But Yoongi is younger, more naive, so of course he falls for it. “Why would you want to sign me?”

Seokjin grins. “Mr. Min, I like to think I’m pretty good at spotting talented people who have a fully fledged career ahead of them—which is something my gut is telling me that you can do. And don’t worry, it’s not just the gut feeling I have. Like I mentioned, I’ve been keeping tabs on you for a few months and I’ve seen the numbers and the turn out. You clearly have what it takes to bring fans in, keep them, and create events that’ll drive their attention—and I want to help you make an opportunity out of that.”

Yoongi hears the words of the older man, he really does, but he still cannot help the feeling of his head spinning at all the positive things Kim Seokjin says to him. Not only that he believes Yoongi has what it takes to make it, but that Yoongi has the concrete numbers to back that up. He is offering Yoongi an opportunity—an opportunity that seemed much too big for his youtube channel to birth, an opportunity that he had always just written off as nothing more than a dream. Yet for Seokjin to say that it could be more than that? And for all of this to happen on a normal performance night?

Was Yoongi about to faint right now or what.

Seokjin takes in Yoongi’s stunned silence and smiles. “I understand that this could be a lot to take in. No worries. I have a card for you to take—so call me when you make up your mind, alright?” He rummages into the pocket of his coat before producing a business card. The name KSJ RECORDS is printed on the surface, shiny lettering in sleek font.

Yoongi takes it wordlessly.

“By the way, do you have a manager?” Seokjin asks. “You can have them reach out to me if that’ll make it easier.”

Yoongi stays quiet for a moment. He doesn’t have a manager; he never really saw the need for one if his schedule was as simple as it was. After all, it was more than enough for him to handle with you—!

His mind explodes, as if someone had just plugged it into an outlet. His gaze flickers to you, where he sees you now standing just a few feet away next to Jungkook. You’re already staring back at him, but your head tilts slightly as if you could read his internal struggle. Before Yoongi can even figure why he’s looking at you, his body seems to act on its own. His arm raises, finger pointing straight at you. “She’s over there.”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, seeming to read something in his gaze that even Yoongi couldn’t figure out. Still, you walk over to them. “What’s going on?”

Seokjin acts first, turning towards you and giving you a nod in greeting. “Hi there, I’m Kim Seokjin. Yoongi says you’re his manager, is that correct?”

You blink, caught off guard by the question because you definitely were not Yoongi’s manager. He knows that you know this. You give Yoongi another look, and his eyes widen at you, poorly attempting to transmit a singular message: please.

You understand immediately, of course you do (you’re his best friend), as you turn back to look at Seokjin. “I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

The pair of you shake hands. “I was just telling Mr. Min over there that I was interested in signing him to my company. I’m a music executive for KSJ records, and think that he would make a great addition to the team.”

It takes you a second to process the news, but you do so quicker and much more graceful than Yoongi could ever hope to do. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You turn to look at him, bright-eyed. “Yoongi, that’s amazing!”

“He hasn’t made a decision yet,” Seokjin continues to explain. “I don’t blame him, it’s a lot to process. I just told him that he could have you call me once he made up his mind. Then, contracts could be drawn up.” He pauses for a moment, then seems to scramble on something when you don’t say anything immediately. “Of course, you would remain his manager. I’m sure that he’s gotten as far as he has with your help. I would want you part of Mr. Min’s team regardless.” Seokjin composes himself quickly afterwards. “Like I said, take some time to come to a decision and let me know. Let me give you my card as well.” He mirrors his previous movement at Yoongi towards you now until you have his business card between your fingers.

“W-Well,” You start, lowering the card and offering up your hand. “Thank you so much for coming by, Mr. Kim. We’ll be sure to send you a response soon.”

Seokjin takes your hand carefully, giving it a firm shake. “I look forward to hearing from you.” He turns to Yoongi. “And I hope we’ll be able to work together, Mr. Min.”

Yoongi blinks, but he snaps himself out long enough to return Seokjin’s handshake. “Y-Yes…” He replies, still feeling completely starstruck by what the fuck this encounter had just been. “T-Thank you for stopping by…” He trails off. He stays quiet as he watches Seokjin give one last departing word before he’s turning around and making his way down the street of the city.

When he regains some of his attention back, he turns to find that you’re already staring at him with an unreadable expression across your face. “Let’s head back,” You say at least, holding up the business card. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“No way,” Jungkook utters, completely shocked as he practically throws himself onto the couch in the living room. His camera equipment has been set down near the door, too much exhaustion present in its owner for the trudge back into his room. “You got casted today? That’s incredible, hyung!”

“I-I didn’t even realize what was going on,” Yoongi grumbles back, crossing his arms over his chest. “I still wonder if that moment even happened or if I conjured it up in a strange fever dream.”

You raise your hand slightly. “I was there. Can confirm that it was real.” You dig the business card out of your pocket and stare down at it.

Jungkook hikes himself deeper into the couch as he turns on his phone to start scrolling. “I gotta know who this guy is. Kim Seokjin you said? Of KSJ records?”

“Yeah, KSJ records,” Yoongi replies, looking down at his own business card. “He seemed pretty legit.”

A whistle from Jungkook confirms that. “Yeah, he’s definitely real. And look at that!” Jungkook turns the phone over to expose the photographs of Seokjin. “Used to be a singer as well. I bet he knows a lot about the industry.”

Yoongi nods. “He did seem nice.”

“So, does that mean you’re planning to meet up with him? Get signed and all that jazz?”

“All that jazz?” Yoongi echoes, but he shakes his head before he could go off on that tangent. “But honestly? Yeah, I’m thinking about it. I really do love youtube and do want to continue that, but I just feel like there’s more for me to explore with the right connections.”

Jungkook grins. “Wow, I can’t believe my roommate is gonna be famous.” He says the last word with a bite of curl in his tone, flashing a teasing smile when Yoongi merely glares in embarrassment. Jungkook’s eyes flicker further back towards where you are standing in the apartment, calling your name to get your attention. “What do you think of the idea, Miss. Manager?”

You perk up at that. “Before I get into my answer—when did I suddenly become your manager? I don’t remember us ever having that conversation.” You’re situated in the kitchen, drumming one hand on the counter and using the other hand to stir some last night boxed mac and cheese.

Yoongi coughs at your observation, sinking himself further down into the couch. “I didn’t want Seokjin to think I was an idiot or something for not having a manager. But when I do officially make up my mind…” He angles his head to stare over at you. “You’ll do it for me, right? You’ll actually be my manager?”

You frown, hesitant. “You’re serious about asking me? I don’t know anything about being a manager though.”

Yoongi almost pouts at that, sitting up so he can whirl around completely on the couch to face you. “But you know me and my music career almost better than anyone! And you graduated with a business degree, what do you mean you don’t know anything about being a manager?”

You flush hotly at that. “It was just a general business degree, Yoongi, it seems like what you need to make it big is a legit artist manager! Someone who will actually know how to schedule your tour dates or keep up with your public image and know exactly how to market you to the general public. You really want me doing that for you?”

Yoongi gaps at that. “Okay, but who’s the one who literally schedules my street performances and helps me with editing my videos?”

“Jungkook does some of the editing too,” You grumble underneath your breath.

“Yah! Stop selling yourself short!” Yoongi interjects, pointing at you accusingly. He does, however, lower his finger long enough to turn and address his roommate. “Not that you don’t help out with any of the editing, Jungkook…”

Jungkook waves him off. “I know where my talents lie.”

Yoongi turns back to you. “Besides, Seokjin acknowledged that you and I basically come as a packaged deal. He saw that you were working just as hard to get me my gigs.”

You give him a one-shouldered shrug, the hesitation still laced in your tone. “I don’t know Yoongi. I just don’t want to fuck up and jeopardize your shot.”

Yoongi’s attention is one hundred percent focused on you now, so much so that he has made his way into the kitchen and has come so close that he can switch off the stove that held the macaroni and cheese. “Hey, listen, the only reason I’ve even been given a shot was thanks to you. You work just as hard as me to keep my channel up and running—and you already have another job on the side, so you don’t have to do anything for me. But you do.” He plants both his hands on your shoulders and twists you around. “Would you be my manager? Please? I seriously don’t trust anyone else enough to do this for me.”

You sigh, staring down Yoongi as tensely as he’s staring you down. He sees the flicker of continuing hesitation in your eyes, and responds with just tightening his grip on your shoulders—trying to convey as much pleading as he could to you. Honestly, if you rejected his request, he knows that he wouldn’t be able to do this without you.

So when you seem to realize that he won’t give up, you sigh and look down for a moment. “Damn that I can never say no to you, Min Yoongi.”

Hearing those words of confirmation, Yoongi’s gaze hyper focuses on you. Even when you look back over at him, you don’t look away and that merely confirms the unspoken question of your participation.

When he realizes that you aren’t going to outright reject him, and that you’re actually on board for him, Yoongi’s face lights up as he immediately envelops you into a hug. “Thank you! Thank you—wow, that means a lot to me.”

You suck in a breath at his words, tensing slightly at his words, but you eventually learn to relax long enough to pat him slowly on the back to return his hug. “Don’t thank me yet,” You grumble into his shoulder. “We haven’t even had a meeting. I may not be able to negotiate as well as you think I can.”

Yoongi shakes his head at that, tightening his hold on you. From his close proximity to you, he doesn’t notice the way your breath seems to shake and your heart seems to quicken. “It doesn’t matter,” He reassures, finally backing off. “I don’t care if you don’t know how to do all those fancy manager things. Like I said, you’re the only one I could trust to do this.”

You stare at Yoongi for a few more seconds before you sigh in defeat, knowing that you’ve just put all your thoughts and feelings on the table for him to react to. “Alright then,” You say, placing one of your hands across your chest and onto your shoulder—atop his hand still lingering. “I’ll make the call tomorrow then.”

Yoongi nods. “Thank you.”

There’s a brief silence that covers the pair of you, before a voice rings from the living room. “Do you mind bringing the mac and cheese over here?”

CHAPTER 2: THE REQUEST

One year later, and you learn that the crowds from Yoongi’s street performances are nothing in comparison to this. This—overwhelming and unmatched in all degrees, the screams and the cries and the shoves, all of it echoes around you just as it has for the past few months. Surprisingly, you’ve always been okay with being a little more firm if the situation called for such and today is absolutely no exception.

“Off,” You say gently, tapping an outstretched hand trying to get past you and grab at the person behind you.

The girl you’ve intercepted jerks her hand back as if you’ve burned her, her eyes wide and vaguely hurt as if you’ve singled her out specifically from this crowd. Rather, it’s more along the lines of keeping your client safe and trying to avoid the incident from last week. You block the memory out for the time being.

You feel a hot breath at your ear. “If you make my fans cry, I swear—!”

“Try to be less desirable then,” You bite back over your shoulder, holding up your hand when another fan tries to shove a sharpie past you. “Sorry, but we’re in a bit of a rush,” You say to the boy. “Come to the next concert—we’ll have a meet and greet then too.”

The boy deflates, but that expression only lasts for a second before he seems to brighten slightly at whatever has just occurred behind you. Stealing a glance, you realize it’s because Min Yoongi has just thrown him an apologetic wink.

The car appears in view a lot quicker than you had been anticipating, which is good as you muster all your energy to pull the handle that opens the car door. You step off to the side, further cutting off the fans who are trying to keep Yoongi from entering the vehicle. Soon enough, a taller and more dominating figure appears next to you as Yoongi manages to slide his way into the back seat. You and Jungkook exchange a nod—you had been in the front of Yoongi’s protection squad and he had been in the back, and the arrangement continues to work wonders. As long as Yoongi doesn’t lose a whole sleeve (like last time) then you would consider this departure a success.

Jungkook tilts his head towards the still opened car door, allowing you to enter the car yourself. As soon as you’re settled, Jungkook leans forward to join you. He slides his way into the seat all the way in the back of the car. Closing the door behind him, you signal Taehyung to take off with a nod into the rearview mirror.

The screams and calls of Yoongi’s name are loud, and pass through the metal structure of the car as if it is nothing. But you know that the boy doesn’t mind, and that he lives and breathes moments like these as he has for the past few months.

It’s crazy to think how much a year could change, after you and Yoongi decided to meet up with Seokjin to discuss how Yoongi was going to be signed under KSJ records. Seokjin had talked about the big plans he had in pushing Yoongi towards the spotlight—and goals like an album, a concert, and meet-and-greets around the country had been promised for Yoongi’s first year.

And of course, Yoongi was completely enchanted by the promises. Just one final ‘of course’ confirmation to have you as his manager, and Yoongi was signing on the dotted line. Truth be told, you didn’t know what KSJ records would have in store for Yoongi—how long that glimmer of passion would remain in the boy’s eyes.

A year later, and you acknowledge that you might have underestimated Kim Seokjin. As a former performer, he knew all the ins and outs of the music industry and his well established connections as well as his good ear for good music meant that Yoongi was allowing his music to get the treatment it deserved. Pair that with Yoongi’s growing popularity on Youtube, and it all equates to an EP that debuts with tens of thousands of copies sold within the first week. The EP itself hadn’t been much—just six songs that contained a mix of old songs and new songs, but all written by Yoongi. His previous (although small) experience with producing and arrangement allowed him constant access into the various studios at KSJ records, where he learned from all the other producers on how to make good music.

The hands-on, personal touch Seokjin allowed Yoongi to deliver in his music had been a good call and a large contributor to the success of the EP. You recall fans praising the album and talking about how it matched Yoongi’s youtube aesthetic perfectly, but just with the higher quality element that top notch equipment could bring to music.

In a way, the current atmosphere of concerts and meet-and-greets is just a way to celebrate the success of Yoongi’s music career launching off into the stratosphere.

“Hey.” There’s a gentle tap against your head, and you jump before turning to face Yoongi in the seat next to you. “You good?”

You blink, bringing your finger up to brush the hair out of your face. “Yeah, just spaced out.”

“Cool. I thought you might have fallen asleep.”

“If anyone should have fallen asleep by now, it’s you,” You point out. “I think that today’s meet-and-greet was the largest one you’ve had so far.”

“Don’t worry,” Yoongi says. “I have every intention of following asleep as soon as I fall into bed. Plus, don’t let me hold a pen for the next week—I think my wrist almost fell off.”

You laugh, angling yourself so you can face him. “But you love it, don’t you?”

Yoongi’s gaze softens as he lets your question sink in. “Course I do. I never realized how cool it would be to have an audience sing my lyrics back to you. More than that, it was all lyrics I used to write in the apartment, or in between lectures back at college, or late into the night on my phone… back when the idea of all this was just a dream.” He pivots his body towards you, eyes bright as the passion for his current place in life seems to have gotten him hyped up again. “You know, during the meet and greet, this girl came up to me all confidently and told me that my album got her through a tough time. I think that’s when it really hit me that this was all happening.”

The corner of your lips quirk up into a smile. “Oh yeah, I actually do remember you writing those songs and you showing me the lyrics. You speak from the heart, and your fans understand that. Helps that you’re pretty cute too. Anyone with eyes could see that.” As soon as those words escape your lips, you almost want to chide yourself and immediately throw yourself out of the car. Why would you say something like that—why would you openly admit to Yoongi’s cuteness? Your face grows warm at the realization, leaving you to hope that Yoongi won’t notice your flustered state.

Yoongi doesn’t notice. He’s too busy gawking at your observation, too busy tearing his gaze away from you to stare firmly out of the car window.

Jungkook simply shifts his gaze between the two of you.

In the midst of the silence, you fish out your phone and start scrolling through your social media pages. Due to the third party cookie ads that follow you around, you immediately notice news of Yoongi’s concert of the day has started hitting various news sites—most articles praising Yoongi on his song selections and live adaptations of his music to suit the concert style more. Reading these articles leave you unable to stop the grin, because Yoongi deserves this so fucking much that you could have sworn your heart sings a little as you continue reading.

It’s a moment that lasts for only a couple of seconds, as recommended articles start coming up that do well in setting up the gray cloud. With the increased amount of attention that comes from being a newly top rated best selling album artist, so does the intrusion into personal life that follows—the dark side of the media, the side that just loves to stick its nose in places it does not belong. It’s something that you had been seeing since Yoongi’s youtube account hit five hundred thousand, but at the time these kinds of questions were more dark shadows or curious inquiries taken in the form of casual comments.

Now, those questions have become much more normalized, as a common curiosity seems to have taken form from all these drama articles: was Min Yoongi dating anyone? And even better: who is Min Yoongi writing all his love songs for?

As if love was limited to romantic relationships, and wasn’t a feeling one could recreate from other love songs or romantic comedies. Or just the feelings of growing up.

“We’re here!” Taehyung calls from the front seat, as you jump up from your train of thought. Refocusing on your surroundings, you realize that you’ve made it into the parking lot of the hotel.

You sigh, regathering your belongings that have moved around during the drive. “Thanks, Taehyung.”

“Hey.” Taehyung utters for you to come closer to him as soon as the pair of you step out of the car. He jerks toward Yoongi, who is exiting from his side of the car before quickly side-stepping to let Jungkook come out as well. “Was that flirting back there?”

You protest hotly at once, your hand raising up and wave side-to-side frantically in complete denial. “N-No, it wasn’t—!”

“Okay, good,” Taehyung interrupts, leaning back to stuff his hands into his pants pockets. “Because if that was the case I think we would have had to re-evaluate your definition of flirting—!”

“Will you stop?” You squeak.

“Is everything okay?” Yoongi asks, having rounded around the car to stare over at you and Taehyung.

You whirl around quickly, tightening up your expression once more to make sure that any remnants of your conversation with Taehyung would be undetected. “Yep!” You say immediately. “Everything is fine. Let’s get going, yeah?” You allow Jungkook to lead the four of you out of the parking lot and into the elevator that’ll take you to the main floor of the hotel room. Yoongi has to slip on a pair of glasses and a baseball cap, just on the off chance that a fan might be staying in the same room—it happened a few stops ago—before the four of you are making your way through the lobby. The four of you have reserved four separate rooms for your overnight stay in the city, rooms that you have already checked into earlier that day, so it feels nice to just make your way to the elevator and select the correct floor.

Taehyung decides to check in first for the night, waving you all off and congratulating Yoongi on another well done performance. Jungkook lingers around as you make your way to Yoongi’s room next.

“Thanks for walking me,” Yoongi says, sliding the key card into the slot and pulling out when he hears the beep of confirmation on his door.

Jungkook flashes him a thumbs up. “Good show today. Now get some rest.”

Yoongi nods, just about to close the door when you make a sudden noise from the back of your throat. “OH!” You call out suddenly, startling both boys as you reach your arm out suddenly to prevent Yoongi from closing the door. He had been so close too. “Sorry, I just realized. Seokjin sent me an email of some deadlines he wanted me to go over with you. Your sleep is gonna have to be put on hold.”

Yoongi grumbles something under his breath.

You turn to look at Jungkook. “We’ll be fine, Jungkook, go rest up—you deserve it.”

Jungkook nods, grinning at Yoongi. “See you guys around.”

“No fair…” Yoongi pouts as he watches Jungkook stroll down the hall to reach his hotel room. “Why do they get to rest and I don’t? I’m so tired…”

“Well, this is the price of fame,” You retort with the shrug of your shoulders. “You have your face the paparazzi want to see, and the name that sells the albums. Naturally, it means you just have to put in more work than everyone else.”

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, still pouting but less so as he opens the door once more for the both of you to enter. “When you put it that way…”

You giggle behind him. “For the fans, Min Yoongi.”

You immediately task yourself with throwing yourself atop his bed, surprisingly put together despite the fact that you had checked everyone in earlier that day. You would have assumed he would have taken a nap. But the bed doesn’t look slept in at all.

Yoongi notices your observation immediately. “I was too nervous to fall asleep earlier today,” He provides, taking a seat on the couch on the other side of the room. “So what was it that Seokjin needed you to go over with me?”

“It’s short, I promise,” You reassure, pulling out the iPhone from your pocket. As soon as you unlock the device, you’re faced with the articles you had previously been looking up—the ones about Yoongi’s dating life. Without meaning to, you sigh heavily at the sight.

Yoongi quirks an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

You jerk up. “Oh, no, nothing sorry. I just…” You hold the phone up for Yoongi to see. “These articles about you and your dating life—it’s getting worse.”

“Oh.” Yoongi’s fingers fiddle with each other. “Yeah, I’ve seen a few of those floating around too. Honestly, for someone who writes a lot of songs about love, these curiosities don’t really surprise me. I wish that they wouldn’t be so intrusive.”

“Unfortunately, people always think it’s their right to know who these love songs are for.” You spare him a quick glance, only to realize that he’s already staring at you. Hastily, you look back down. “If the songs are even for anyone, that is.”

Yoongi is quiet for a moment. “Right.”

“Anyways…” You exit your internet app, tapping through until Seokjin’s email comes up. “Seokjin just wants to know your progress on the new songs. He’s trying to gauge your progress so he can see whether or not to arrange studio time for you to start recording.”

The new songs—it’s a reference to Seokjin’s next plan for Yoongi’s career. With the launch of the EP and the current success that it has been harboring, it makes sense that the next step would be to launch a full-length album. Technically it could be called a repackage, since the album would most likely feature a few songs from the EP and cover the rest of the spots with new music.

But aforementioned new music takes time to write, not that Yoongi ever had a problem with writing music. That has always been second nature for him—and was something he could do anywhere so long as he had a functioning, conscious mind. It was all just a matter of whether or not he could create the required number of actual songs within the scheduled deadline. With those higher expectations, time definitely plays the biggest issue and it makes sense if Yoongi couldn’t write proper songs given the current circumstances.

Nonetheless, Yoongi nods at the question. “I actually have rough drafts of most of the songs, if that was okay with Seokjin. We could probably schedule some meetings to polish up the writing, since a lot of them are still in the beginning stage.”

You blink at his answer, surprised by his response. You had been expecting one, or maybe two songs to be written out but to have all eight songs written out? “W-Wow…” You utter. “You wrote so many songs so quickly.”

Yoongi shrugs, but he does look a little prideful at your words. You don’t notice his lingering gaze. “I have a lot to reflect on, what can I say.”

“I-I mean,” You stammer, not really hearing his response. “I could schedule the meeting with Seokjin, but if he knows that you have everything basically done, he’ll probably be okay with giving you a little more time to polish up your work yourself.”

Yoongi ponders this, but he shakes his head. “No, go ahead and schedule the meeting. It’s actually nice having extra hands in the music.”

You nod. “Alright then, I’ll go and do that. I think I should also just go over tomorrow’s schedule with you.” Quickly, you relay the time details of what tomorrow’s day will look like since you’re flying out for another show the next morning. You give him some details about the stage, how many people are going, and how many people he will be meeting afterwards. It’s a standard review conversation, one of the many that you’ve had with Yoongi over the year. “And… that should be it,” You wrap up as soon as you’ve reviewed the day. Looking over the schedule once more, you cannot help but sigh once more.

“What is it this time?” Yoongi asks from the side.

“Oh, no nothing!” You reassure with a promising smile. “Just another busy day.”

Yoongi gives you a grin, but you can see the exhaustion clinging to the corner of his eyes. “There’s only a few more stops left of the concert—what happened to you being positive rock?”

At that, you laugh nervously. “Sorry, sorry. You’re right.” You clench a fist in front of him and pump it up to showcase a display of energy. “Another day of excitement and one more day towards fulfilling your dreams!” You lower your fist and give him a slightly dryer look. “How was that?”

“I could have done without the look at the end, but it’ll do, I guess.” Yoongi stands up from his place on the couch and throws himself atop his bed. His head ends up near you, his back on the mattress, and his feet dangling off the side. “There’s only a few stops left of the tour, and for some people this is their first time seeing me live. And for other people, maybe they saw me back when I would perform on the streets, so in that case it’s their first time seeing me perform on a stage and everything!” He lifts one of his hands up into his field of view. “Either way, I just want to do the best I can for the people that take time out to come see me and support me. Because I owe them everything—I owe them more than what I can give them.”

You don’t say anything to that. What could you say, anyways? Instead, you reach over and run your fingers through his hair. After a second, you retract your hand. You shouldn’t let yourself linger for too long anyways. “It’s late,” You say, a tone of finality in your voice. “I should head to my room. I’ll make sure to let Seokjin know your update.” You slide off the bed into a standing position. “You should get some rest.” You turn to him. “You may not think you can pay back your fans, but you probably help them out every single day. The same way they help you out too.”

Yoongi tilts his head back to see you. Upside down, but still look at you nonetheless. He grins. “There’s that positive energy I was looking for. Thanks.”

You laugh, already making your way towards his hotel room door. “Thank me by giving me another kickass performance tomorrow. Makes my job a whole lot easier.”

The following weeks of concert tours pass by without a hitch. To Yoongi, any event now that doesn’t end up with a torn sleeve and nail scratches up and down his arm is a success. And you haven’t freaked out for the remaining dates as you had when security had been at its worst—so he’d consider that the icing on top of the cake. Although he’s glad to finally be be home and be anchored to his own bed and be in his own space for the first time in months, he knows that his first concert experience to celebrate his first EP had truly been a memorable undertaking.

And it had been more successful than anyone at KSJ records could have predicted. At least, that’s what Seokjin tells him when Yoongi arrives at the studio the following day to start going through the process of polishing up his song lyrics.

“It seems that you really enjoyed yourself throughout the tour,” Seokjin remarks as Yoongi steps into the former’s office. Seokjin is scrolling through some articles on his laptop. He closes it as Yoongi takes a seat and regards the younger boy with a look of curiosity and wonder. “How was it?”

Yoongi brightens. “So much fun. I didn’t realize how cool it would feel to have audience members sing song lyrics right back at me, but that was probably my favorite moment.”

“Ah, of course, first time for everything as they always say.” Seokjin folds his fingers atop one another. “And how was your team?” He says your name, given that you are Yoongi’s manager. “Along with Jungkook and Taehyung? I wish I could have given you more people, but we didn’t know how crazy moving you around was going to be.”

Yoongi nods. “I mean… it was fine. Jungkook was really good.” He can’t help but think that Jungkook should have been good—after all, Yoongi is the reason why Jungkook has been getting safe with job security recently. “And Taehyung too. I think having the small team was good because we ended up all getting really connected and had this whole system in place after a few stops.”

“I heard a fan tore your sleeve,” Seokjin points out, looking mildly concerned. “How did that go?”

“Oh, it was just a one time thing,” Yoongi tries to brush off with the wave of his hand. He thinks of you, because of course he does. He mentions you. “She would tap the fans who were getting too close. It was reassuring, honestly.”

“That’s good to hear,” Seokjin says. “And I’ve heard that you’ve been making a lot of headway with the upcoming album. So we’re definitely gonna set some time for us to go through the lyrics and structure what you’ve come up with already. But I did want to go over something with you first—the main reason I called you in, actually.”

Yoongi tilts his head. “Okay, what’s up?”

Seokjin re-opens his laptop, and clicks through a few links before he’s pivoting the laptop in a 180 degree motion so Yoongi can see the screen. At once, he’s faced with several articles, all centering around the topic that has been haunting him since the beginning of his concert journey. He gets a flashback to one of the nights you came into his hotel room to discuss scheduling, and how you had mentioned this particular topic showing up more and more.

Yoongi had known it was becoming a problem. He just didn’t think it was something that required urgent discussion.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, your growing popularity means that people are developing a growing interest in your relationship. Since you are labeled specifically as a song-writer who writes songs about growing up, struggles, and love, this only heightens people’s curiosity.”

Yoongi allows Seokjin to continue talking, as he moves forward in his chair to actually scroll through one of the articles Seokjin has pulled up. It’s entitled: UP AND COMING SINGER SONGWRITER MIN YOONGI IS DEFINITELY IN A RELATIONSHIP, BUT WITH WHO? As he scrolls down, there’s several people that are listed as potential girlfriends to Yoongi’s partnership—some people he does not know at all, some people he has only seen once.

You’re on the list too, and Yoongi’s eyes widen when he identifies your picture amongst the lot. He zeroes in on the description underneath the simple title: Yoongi’s manager? Although most manager and artist relationships are platonic, we can’t leave this one out! Fans have tracked down Min Yoongi’s current manager as an old assistant from Min Yoongi’s youtube days, so there’s definitely some history between them!

“This article has been blowing up. You may or may not know, but people making assumptions about your relationship status could be dangerous. Since you write songs about relationships, it leaves a lot of room for error and scandals, especially if news sites decide to publish something or someone else with bad intentions try to claim you wrote a song about them. Or something else of the sort.”

Yoongi nods slowly at that, not entirely understanding what direction Seokjin is going with his build up. It makes sense though. Leaving Yoongi out in the open like this could be dangerous for his career. “S-So, what ideas do you have to combat that?”

“I’ve been thinking about this in the recent weeks you’ve been on tour,” Seokjin says quietly, pressing his hands together. “I think that we should push your relationship status into the public—get you a girlfriend to maintain your ‘pure romantic heart’ reputation so it looks like you’re writing love songs solely for your girlfriend.”

It takes a second for the words to sink in. “Aaaaah,” Yoongi finally says, but his voice sounds far away all of a sudden, the further time seems to creep on. Sure, he’s seen this concept of surface relationships between in film and television—and the idea of it makes some sense. For someone whose best songs were related to moments of being in love, surely most people would suspect that the inspiration for those songs had to come from somewhere. If Yoongi came out to admit his lack of relationship experience, would people approve of that? Or would they think he was lying?

In that regard then, it makes sense that Seokjin would come up with the idea. But faking a relationship for the sake of faking a relationship has never been something Yoongi thought he would ever have to go through.

Mainly because first of all—who would play Yoongi’s girlfriend?

Now, Yoongi isn’t the worst actor in the world. But he can be stiff at times, and if Seokjin wants to push a relationship status into the public eye then Yoongi imagines that this girlfriend would be someone Yoongi felt the most natural around. Someone he wouldn’t mind pretending to be in a relationship with.

Would Yoongi even get a say in the matter? Or would Yoongi’s approval be the only requirement before Seokjin went off to find a girlfriend for Yoongi himself?

“D-Did you have someone in mind?” Yoongi finds himself asking instead.

Seokjin hums, tapping his chin with his finger. “Not at the moment. I just wanted to bring it up with you in case you had an idea for someone.” Mindlessly, he reaches to take back the laptop and flip it back towards him. This exposes him to the article Yoongi had been previously scrolling through—one where pictures of you are plastered over the current screen.

At the sight, Seokjin wavers slightly, staring down your pictures and furrowing his eyebrows. Yoongi looks over, noticing immediately that the laptop (and the pictures of you from that article) is no longer right in front of him but rather in front of Seokjin instead. When he glances over at Seokjin, he finds the older man lost in thought, running the side of his finger across his lip. Back and forth, clearly pondering something.

“Yes…” Seokjin says after a moment. “That could work, actually.” He looks across the desk at Yoongi. “Good idea, Yoongi. I think originally, I would have said no, but these pictures and this description actually makes a valid point.”

Yoongi blinks, not really connecting the dots right away. “Uh, sorry, Seokjin, but I’m not really following…”

Seokjin makes a noise, gesturing to his laptop screen that he has just gotten back from Yoongi. “You were suggesting Y/N as your fake girlfriend, weren’t you? I’m assuming that’s why you stopped on these pictures. My initial thought was that it probably wouldn’t work, but actually considering your history with each other it seems like this could be the most likely case scenario.”

It takes another second for the information to fully process. You. His fake girlfriend. Seokjin misunderstanding that unintentionally stopping on your pictures meant that Yoongi was trying to convey some sort of message.

You—playing the role of his fake girlfriend, the ‘supposed’ inspiration for all his music. It would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic.

It would be funny if you didn’t inspire all of his music—but you do. And Yoongi isn’t laughing.

He should say something. He knows that it would make sense, as Seokjin is claiming, but it would also potentially inch him towards a can of worms he has been so sure would never see the sunlight. More than that, having you as his fake girlfriend would bring him the closest he has ever been to feeling hopeful.

He really should say something.

But for some reason, the words don’t come out. He just lets Seokjin believe his ingenious plan. “Yes, yes!” Seokjin continues after the many moments of silence that lapse between the two of you. “This could work actually. You guys have known each other for years, and older fans of yours from the youtube days would definitely recognize Y/N. That way, the announcement of your relationship wouldn’t seem entirely out of line, especially if we say that you guys have been dating for years. It also makes sense that we could say you becoming Yoongi’s ‘manager’ was always part of a cover up—after all, that’s what they did in that movie That Thing You Do…”

The more Seokjin drones on and on about his plan, and how exactly he intends to work up to it, the more nervous Yoongi gets. Was Seokjin actually planning on doing this—enlist you as Yoongi’s fake girlfriend and drag you along to participate in this facade? Yoongi is mildly shocked. He should have known Seokjin would follow through on the question, but he had just assumed that today was just the idea phase and that plans to arrange this fake relationship would take weeks.

But if there’s anything Yoongi knows about Seokjin, it’s that the man knows how to get something done. Quickly, too. In Seokjin’s word, it’s a natural occurrence for a simple idea phase to morph into actual concrete plans within the time span of a day. Yoongi should have planned this out better—but then again, he didn’t think that him accidentally stopping on a picture of you from a fucking drama article would serve as the catalyst for Seokjin’s ideas.

Yoongi straightens up onto his feet. “Why don’t I talk to Y/N first about this?” He asks. “The idea may seem good on paper, but if she’s uncomfortable then it’s a no go.”

Seokjin studies Yoongi carefully, before the former relents. “Okay, fair enough. Let me know what happens.”

As soon as the pair of them exchange the last nods, Yoongi is dashing out of Seokjin’s office with one clear objective in mind: to talk to you.

Luckily, you aren’t too far away. You’re in your office, typing up something on your laptop and your eyes scanning through what he can only assume are emails. It’s eyes that widen when Yoongi practically storms into your space, shutting the door behind him.

You straighten up. “Yoongi, you alright? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize that his chest is heaving until you point that out. He coughs. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t run a marathon though.”

Your eyebrows furrow, but the corner of your lips turn up in mild curiosity. “Okay. What’s up?”

Yoongi presses his lips together. Even with the many feet of space between the two of you—he can make out the glimmer in your eyes from the sunlight pouring through the window, he can see the shadow of your eyelashes and the line where your collarbone dips below your blouse. Fuck, he’s in deep. There’s no way he could ask you something so monumental to the downfall of his sanity. But he knows that it’s too late to just walk away. Partly because he’s already in your office and partly because the idea has already been planted into Seokjin’s head. And if Yoongi didn’t speak up, then Seokjin was going to.

So Yoongi opens his mouth. “I may or may not have gotten you into a situation,” He starts up.

You snort, of course not taking him seriously. “That might just be the summary of our relationship.”

“No, I don’t think you understand…” Yoongi pleads, stepping deeper into the office.

You frown at his behavior, closing your laptop this time to address him completely. “Okay, what’s up, really? You’re kind of scaring me…”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not… scary or anything…” He trails off.

You raise an eyebrow. “Let me be the judge of that.”

So Yoongi shoves his hands deep into his coat pocket, and slides next to your desk, leaning against the surface as he starts his story. He covers everything: from Seokjin bringing up the drama articles about his relationship status, how he had scrolled through and saw your name, how Seokjin had misinterpreted that as a sign, and worse of all, how Seokjin thought it would be a good idea for you to play as Yoongi’s fake girlfriend.

To say you’re appalled would be an understatement. You’re staring up at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Are you serious?” You ask. “B-But I’m your manager!” You scoff at yourself. “No, more than that—I’m your friend, Yoongi. Seokjin must be on something. He has to be. What did you guys decide on? Please tell me that you said no.”

“W-Well, there was no agreement or disagreement,” Yoongi argues weakly. “I walked out before Seokjin could make up his mind.” He pauses for a moment, something sinking in. “Wait a minute,” He brings up, a slightly teasing smile across his face. “Do you really find the idea of dating me that gross?”

You make a noise in the back of your throat at his accusation, and you immediately begin to scramble. “I-I mean,” You start, the flush present in your throat as you start speaking very quickly at once. Both your hands go up in a defensive position. “It’s not that I don’t find you gross… because I don’t! You’re a very attractive person—it’s just that—we’re friends and—stop looking at me like that!” You stand up, slamming your palms onto the table when you realize that he’s just flashing you a shit-eating grin.

He has half the mind to be mildly disheartened that you are so against the idea of dating him. But then again, he’d probably say no to fake dating you if he was being forced into a situation like this. He’d definitely say no.

Okay, he’d probably say no.

“Well, I told Seokjin that if you were uncomfortable with the idea, then it’d be a no go and he seemed to respect the idea.”

Still standing, you sigh and press your face into the palm of your hand. Your fingers brush through your hair. “Okay, let’s step back for a moment.” You remove your hands from your face. “If I were to say yes, what exactly would that entail?”

Yoongi manages a weak one-shouldered shrug. “I’m not sure exactly. Seokjin would probably have a better idea of that. I imagine KSJ records would release a statement about our relationship, and we would be scheduled to go to variety shows or press interviews together. We’d probably have to go out to restaurants together too. Hold hands…” The thought of holding your hand dries up his throat a little, but he passes it off well by faking a cough. “That sort of stuff.”

You glare at him. “And what about your fans? You’re trying to preserve this ‘pure romantic heart’ image, but I’m sure there’s a lot of fans that like to believe the songs could be about them.”

He shrugs. “That—I’m not too sure about. I imagine Seokjin prefers the idea of my fans believing that my heart only belongs to one person rather than them believing that I’ll just write a love song for anyone.”

You nod. “That’s valid, I guess.”

Yoongi stares at you from the smaller space of distance between the two of you. “Again, you don’t have to say yes. Frankly, I think it’s a batshit crazy idea.”

“It’s not… completely out of line.” After a moment, you sigh. “I can actually understand why Seokjin would get the idea of trying to set you up like this. The news articles will probably get worse. And since your songs market themselves on being personal, people want to know who the songs are about. If Seokjin gave the public a face, then there’d be no room for assumptions and even less room for scandals to come about.” You give him a look. “Sadly, if you were to stay single, there’s only so much I could do as your manager to control that bad press.”

Yoongi raises both his eyebrows up. “Does that mean you’re saying yes—?”

“I’m not… saying anything yet.” You plop yourself back down into your seat. “I’m not saying yes. But I’m not saying no either.” You sink further into your seat. “Hopefully Seokjin will change his mind before I have to make up mine?”

That’s an unlikely case. But Yoongi doesn’t argue with you, and you don’t wait for him to. He simply nods one more time before leaving your office.

You would be lying if you said you never thought about dating Yoongi. Of course you have. You’re sure that you’ve had a crush on the boy within the first week of your introductions. This crush explains so many of your past actions—your support for his Youtube channel, your fulfillment as his manager, and now this pull towards agreeing to become his fake girlfriend. And you hate yourself for the every second you consider it a good idea.

Because it’s not a good idea. It’s a terrible idea. More than that, it’s an unfair idea. Agreeing to fake date someone you actually want to date seems like too cruel a hand to be dealt. Considering your more-often-than-not fragile state, setting yourself up with Yoongi in this way already seems doomed to fail. It would be unfair to Yoongi, because agreeing to this would deprive him of an actual relationship he could be happy in. But it would be more unfair to you, because losing control would mean losing your best friend.

So you don’t give Yoongi a positive confirmation. But you don’t give him a negative one either. See, you don’t have the heart to just outwardly reject him, because you know that he needs you to help him with this. You know that he understands the situation he’s been put in, and that getting a fake girlfriend seems to be the best case scenario. You know that it wouldn’t make sense with any other girl—it had to be you. Saying no straight to face is something that you don’t have the heart to do.

Rather than give a yes or no answer, you opt for the second best option: hold off and avoid indulging too deeply.

It’s a strategy that works for a grand total of one day.

The following day post Yoongi’s conversation, you show up to work with information that Yoongi is going to start recording songs for his new album. His first full-length album, at that—something he has been working hard for since the beginning. Every second of free time available to him during the tour, during off-days had been dedicated to writing the music necessary to fill the album. You know how hard he’s been working—you’ve watched throughout the duration of his tour, and spoke to him for many nights about the progression of this album.

You just didn’t think that the recording part would be coming around so soon.

This is a thought you reflect to Seokjin when you enter the recording studio. Yoongi is already behind the glass, and his voice is amplified in the studio, where they appear to be discussing the arrangement for how a song is going to go. This leaves you vaguely surprised—if Yoongi is in the booth already, it means that there must have been some ground covered on how the arrangement was supposed to go. Just how long has Yoongi been in the studio before you showed up?

“Ah, good morning,” Seokjin greets from the back of the studio, seated on the couch and his arms resting along the back. “Don’t get mad, but Yoongi worked through the night again.”

Your lips part into a gape as your eyes widen in disbelief. “Please tell me you’re joking,” You return.

Seokjin merely laughs in return. “I wish I was! When I left, he was going at it with Namjoon and when I came back this morning they were still going at it. But, you know, who am I to rain in on a breakthrough moment?”

You relent your control of the situation slightly (only slightly) at Seokjin’s rhetorical question. Namjoon is one of Seokjin’s top producers and arrangers—very gifted in songwriting and how to make a good song. From the year that you and Yoongi have been a part of KSJ records, Yoongi and Namjoon have gotten along great and their close relationship has been the reason for many late nights. The pair of them were always caught in the drift of making sleepless but record-selling hits.

Like Seokjin said, who are you to interrupt art in progress?

Although you have a sudden flurry of desires and objectives (mainly to reprimand Yoongi for being so careless with a slap or a hit where you could put him to sleep yourself), you bite it down long enough to shed your jacket and rest it on the armrest of the couch. “Fine, fine, I’ll let it go this time.”

Seokjin chuckles at that, removing his gaze from you and sliding it across the studio back into the booth where Yoongi is still in the midst of discussing something with Namjoon. Something about how the arrangement isn’t as smooth or on beat as they had originally intended. “You’re a good manager,” He says at last. “I can tell that you really do care about him and will definitely give him a peace of your mind once he’s done with today’s session. And what’s more…” He laughs. “He’ll actually let you walk all over him. You’d be surprised how often I see managers in it just for the money, where they don’t have their artist’s best interest in mind. You’re definitely not like that.”

You slide into the vacant seat next to Seokjin. “If I don’t keep an eye on him, I know that no one else will. It’s nothing against other people, but no one else in his life is as involved in his career as I am. But I’m his friend first, and his manager second.”

The pair of you are quiet for a moment, as you watch Namjoon fiddle with some of the switches on the music panel. They seem to come to an agreement on the newly modified beat, because it starts playing through the speakers in the booth. Yoongi presses his hands against the headphones he’s wearing, and starts to relay the lyrics into the microphone. It starts off slow—Yoongi has his phone in his hands to read the lyrics, to double check the flow and the tempo. After a few lines, he stops. “Ah—let’s reword this line. I do like the change we made to the music, so let’s change the lyrics to match.” His voice is amplified through the studio.

Namjoon presses a button on the music panel, allowing him to communicate with Yoongi. “Sure. Want to head in and make the changes?”

Yoongi ponders this for a moment, but shakes his head. “Give me a second. Maybe if I listen to the song again, I can feel what I vibe with.”

“Sounds good.” Namjoon releases his hold on the button, and turns around in his chair to face you and Seokjin. The sight of you makes his eyes widen, as Namjoon coughs back a choke. “O-Oh, Y/N, you’re here—!”

His words make you narrow your eyes as you point a finger at him. “YAH! Which one of you was it that contributed to your all-nighter?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Namjoon protests, raising both of his hands up in defense. “We were both in the groove!”

You lower your finger with a sigh. “You’re lucky that you’re in the middle of helping Yoongi achieve his dreams. Otherwise I’d kick both of your asses.”

Namjoon seems to realize that you’re not messing around, because he emits a nervous laugh. “I promise we’ll be a little more careful next time…”

“Oh, Namjoon, I rewrote some of the lines!” Yoongi calls from inside the booth.

Namjoon whirls around in his chair again to press the button. “Sounds good, let’s do it.”

As the music starts up again, Seokjin decides to speak up once more. “Yoongi told me that he talked to you about the little fake dating plan I had.”

The mention of it, as well as your previous internal insistence of not talking or thinking about that, makes you stiffen. “He might have mentioned something like that.”

When you turn to look at Seokjin, he has an unreadable look glinting in his eyes. “Since you were talking about achieving Yoongi’s dreams and all…” He trails off. “I wanted to apologize for bringing that idea onto you so quickly. I didn’t really consider how you’d feel about the arrangement. I just wanted to try and do what I thought was best for Yoongi.”

You sigh. “I know why you thought of the idea. And I totally agree with you—I think that if he wants to carry on, this is the least costly next step that should be taken. I just… I don’t know if I’m the best fit for it.”

Seokjin nods. “I respect your decision. After all, Yoongi told me that if you were uncomfortable with it, then it’d be an immediate no go.”

The corner of your lips turns up upon hearing Yoongi’s thought process. Even though you’ve already heard the words from the man himself—it’s nice to hear that assurance from his boss. Knowing that Yoongi puts your thoughts and feelings on the forefront of his mind is a nice feeling. A misleading feeling if you let yourself think too deeply into it. But a nice feeling, nonetheless.

You decide not to comment immediately on Seokjin’s apology; rather, you tune into what exactly Yoongi is singing about in the song. It’s got a softer beat to it—an opening song to the album, perhaps? It’s much more whimsy compared to his hard-hitting personal rants that touch on the frustration of miscommunication, of not saying something when he should have said something.

Instead, this is a song about distance—about missing someone due to distance and the longing of returning home because of the normality it brought. About how even closeness sometimes isn’t enough to fill the gap of desire in his heart. It takes on a beat you’ve never heard before, and a feeling of missing something that isn’t even tangible for you as a listener. Nevertheless, his words, his raspiness, and the hard lines hidden within the otherwise soft tone of the song work hard to poke at your edges and your weak spots. The parts of you that have always been willing to cave for Yoongi, the part of you that has never hesitated to do what needed to be done if it benefited Yoongi.

You were his manager, so you always want what’s best for him. But you’re also a friend who has been in love with him for years, so you will do whatever it takes to get him there.

You hope you don’t regret this.

“Actually,” You admit quietly, but it’s loud enough to perk Seokjin’s attention. “I’ll do it.”

Seokjin blinks, clearly trying to process your words right off the bat. “You’ll…” He trails off.

You look away. You have a feeling that if Seokjin looks at you for too long, he’ll see your emotions spill out across the entire fucking studio. “Do the fake dating idea.”

Seokjin fumbles a little. “H-Hold on a second—are you sure? Seriously, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. Since you’re the one least adjusted to being in the spotlight, a lot of this pressure is going to fall onto you. I don’t want you to say yes and then regret it later on… so maybe you should think a little more about this…”

You steel yourself. It feels a little bit like holding your breath. Finally, you spare Seokjin a look. “I won’t regret it,” You say. “You and I both said that Yoongi needs me to keep going at this pace—I was going to get roped in eventually, so I think it’ll just be easier if I agree now rather than drag this thing around for a couple of months. Besides…” You try to relax a little in your seat, but it’s hard to tell if you’re being convincing or not. “It’s nothing too serious right? You just want us to go out together, hold hands occasionally, speak highly of each other… We already do half of those things but it’ll just be emphasized now. No big deal.”

Seokjin is wearing that unreadable look in his eyes again, like he knows something that you don’t even know yourself. “You’re right,” He settles with after a long pause. “It’s nothing too serious. You’ll probably have people also digging into your space though, but we’ll make all the necessary arrangements before any sort of announcement.”

“If that’s the case,” You reply. “Then I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Besides.” You try for a smile. “It’s all just fake anyways, right? As long as the ones who really matter know that, then I don’t really see the harm in it.”

Seokjin only continues to stare at you, before he relents. You know just as well as he does that your decision is one of an adult, and that if you really had a problem with something you would vote your opinion without hesitation. No matter if he can somehow read the thoughts in your head.

At last, he nods. “We might need you to sign another NDA but…” He extends an arm out towards you. “Welcome abroad, Min Yoongi’s girlfriend.”

You laugh a little, hollow but still present, as you reach over to take his head. “We’ll start having problems if that nickname becomes a regular thing.”

Seokjin laughs a little louder, a complete opposite of his more quiet and observant side displayed just a few seconds ago. “Don’t worry—just for formalities. HEY, Namjoon, let me talk to Yoongi for a second.” He practically throws himself off of the couch and towards the music panel where Namjoon and Yoongi are still mid-discussion about another aspect of music you do not understand. Namjoon relents, pushing himself and his chair off to the side as Seokjin comes up to press the button on the panel that allows for discussion between the booth and the studio. “Hey, Min Yoongi, there’s been some discussions behind the scenes. Say hello to your new girlfriend!”

There’s a brief silence in the studio, and Yoongi’s eyes immediately bug out of his head like this is the last thing he expected to hear on this very casual Wednesday morning. Knowing the agenda for the day, it probably has been. “What?” Yoongi says after a long moment, his voice amplified by the speakers in the studio.

Seokjin turns towards you, jerking his head at the booth, and you get up with a sigh. You approach the music panel where Seokjin and Namjoon are currently situated—and aren’t sure how to feel when you see the way Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sight of you through the window.

Still, you cannot help your own weak smile as you lean in towards the microphone. “Hi honey,” You say.

Yoongi continues to stare at you, before his lips part and his face takes on a very unusual shade of red. “HUH?”

CHAPTER 3: THE ANNOUNCEMENT

KSJ records releases a statement within the next following days, and it gains momentum like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

HELLO, WE ARE KSJ RECORDS.

Recently, we acknowledge that many fans have developed a curiosity about the relationship status of our newest artist Min Yoongi. The release of his latest EP and the undertaking of his concert has left many questions regarding who he writes his songs for—and many of the different assumptions made by people around the world could leave very dangerous and lasting impressions on people that our artist sees as platonic. We want to respond properly and say the truth.

Min Yoongi has been in a relationship with his current manager, Y/N, for the past three years. When Min Yoongi was first signed to KSJ Records, they were already in a relationship and Y/N was assigned the task as Yoongi’s manager given her experience working alongside him during his Youtube career. They have good feelings about each other, and have agreed to make this information public to avoid future misunderstandings. KSJ Records and Yoongi hope that you all will support their relationship as they continue to navigate through Yoongi’s growing career together.

You cannot help but laugh a little at the statement, which is flying so close to the truth that it might as well have been your reality. And in a way, it is. You’ve already prepared, molded your online presence just barely to meet these new expectations to the new facade you have to put up.

And it’s not like the announcement actually changes anything in your daily life. In the days leading up to the post, you had decided to delete your Twitter account (you weren’t making much use of that platform anyways—what, with all the thirst accounts for Yoongi that you were stumbling upon due to internet cookies and the algorithm), and archive a fair number of your Instagram photos on an account that was already set to private. For someone who didn’t live and breathe social media, it wasn’t too hard to rid of that element in your life.

One thing you hadn’t really accounted for, however, were the news stories that wrote about you in the hours following the press release. Several of them were base-level lists about your childhood and how your relationship with Yoongi could have festered—most of which were correct given that older fans of Yoongi knew what university he attended and how you were also a student there. But that information is generally public, and it’s not like you attend the university anymore.

Other than that, there are a few comments on your looks, a few assumptions on your personality. But surprising, there’s nothing too severe. At least, from the surface-level information you can collect from just doing a basic google search. Social media would probably be a more difficult battle, one that you would need nerves of steel and a hardened heart in order to navigate, but like mentioned: professionally managing your own personal social media isn’t exactly your forte.

Over the next week, you follow Seokjin’s advice to lay low and let the news of your relationship with Yoongi continue to spread through the ranks. You spend that time in your apartment, answering a few messages from friends and family but doing what you could to keep the information as limited as possible. You assume that too many people knowing, regardless of how close or trustworthy they were, sort of went against the NDA you had to sign. And you’re not sure how your friends would react if they found out you were only dating Yoongi for a cover-up. Especially since some of them actually are fully aware of your feelings for him.

Regardless, you carry on. Yoongi sends you some screenshots he takes of supportive messages from his fans wishing the both of you the best in your relationship, and he also sends you some memes about your relationship that make you laugh. His fans have a good sense of humor, what could you say.

However, a week is the most you allow yourself to hide away within the comfort (and boring nature) of your apartment before you’re already texting Seokjin with news that you were showing up to the studio.

Surprisingly, Seokjin doesn’t question this. He calls you. “I was just about to ask if you were going to come over anyways!” He says in a rather upbeat nature. “So it’s good to hear that we’re both on the same page.”

So you step out of your apartment, dressed up in your usual work uniform and feeling much more put-together than you had been for the week you were ordered to remain quiet and lowkey. There’s something exciting about stepping out after being unable to do so for an extended period of time—and it shows in the little bounce that occurs with every step that you take down the sidewalk. Since you usually take the subway to work, you decide to dawn a bucket hat with a face mask tucked over your nose and mouth to blend in just enough but not so much so that your strange fashion choices could draw attention.

It doesn’t, and you enjoy the rocking of the subway racing down the tracks as you peer out of the window quietly. KSJ Records is just a few stops away from your apartment, so you waste no time standing out and stepping out as soon as the doors of the subway open at the right stop. You bound up the stairs, through the familiar pathways you’ve always taken to get to work, and after a few blocks, you arrive at the building of KSJ Records.

As you shoulder open the door, you greet the secretary behind the table, who smiles back at you. “Oh, good morning!” She greets cheerfully. “Seokjin is waiting for you in his office. I believe Yoongi is already with him.”

You nod. “Sounds good, thank you so much!” You bound deeper in, navigating through the different hallways until you arrive at Seokjin’s office. True to the word from the front desk, Yoongi is already there. He looks surprisingly meek for someone who has been trending on Twitter for a few days, but you suppose that he’s still trying to adjust to the fact that Seokjin’s plan is already in motion. After all, he didn’t even get the final say before Seokjin started taking the situation into his own hands. The last he had heard of it was your apparent agreement before Seokjin drew up a company statement for him to approve.

A part of you feels guilty—but Yoongi had been the one to ask you first! Perhaps he’s still in that normal state of uncertainty. After all, you feel like that as well.

“Good morning guys,” You greet as soon as you register who exactly is in Seokjin’s office. You close the door behind you as both boys turn to acknowledge you.

Seokjin grins. “Hi, thanks for coming in.”

You wave him off. “You gave me the week off. I was starting to get a little restless.” You take a seat in the other vacant chair, in front of Seokjin and besides Yoongi. “What’s up, Yoongi?”

Yoongi is already looking at you when you turn to greet him, but as soon as you ask your question, the corner of his lips quirk up into a vaguely uneasy and nervous smile. “H-Hi honey.”

You freeze at that, immediately furrowing your eyebrows as you produce your own nervous smile. “Hi?” You return. “What the fuck are you on?”

Seokjin interrupts before Yoongi can get an answer in. “Stop, stop, you’re way too stiff, Yoongi!”

“Well, I’m trying!” Yoongi spits, before looking back at you with an utterance of your name. “Sorry, Seokjin wanted me to try treating you the same way I would treat a girlfriend. Apparently I didn’t do too hot.”

“Not apparently, you just didn’t do hot at all,” Seokjin retorts back, flashing you an apologetic smile. “We were trying out a few moves easier to see how well you guys can adjust from having your normal manager slash artist relationship to displaying a long term, healthy and happy romantic relationship. It’s one thing to say that you guys are dating, but you guys do need to have something of an act ready.”

You fold your fingers over each other, your mind on a dissociation for the briefest of seconds as the realization sinks its teeth just a little deeper. Holding hands and saying cute shit to each other had been easy to talk about in passing dialogue to Seokjin—but actually having to do it is a hurdle you hadn’t considered to the fullest.

“I mean…” You speak up after a moment. “What if we’re just one of those couples that aren’t handsey with each other? Or don’t need that lovey dovey look in each other’s eyes to prove that we’re in a relationship?”

Seokjin ponders this for a second. “True. But if we’re starting this, there needs to be a full level commitment on the act. If people start questioning the legitimacy of your relationship, that would be an even worse scandal than just letting people make assumptions about Yoongi’s relationship status in general! We definitely, at least, need to develop a basic level of your relationship, and then you guys can work around your own varying levels of comfort. This is something that we need to get rolling as soon as possible, because you.” He points at Yoongi. “Are booked in the next few days to do some radio interviews. And you.” He points at you. “Are going to go with him, as his girlfriend.”

Even though you had known the label was coming, you can’t stop from feeling hot all over at how you were now technically Yoongi’s girlfriend.

“So,” Seokjin continues. “How about I give you a base level of what I’m looking for. And we can do a few practice runs to make sure you guys are comfortable enough with these expectations?”

Yoongi nods, leaving you little option but to do the same. But the thought from the recording booth bubbles up again: you hope you won’t regret this.

A few days later and you don’t think you’ll regret the outcome of this situation. But you’ll definitely get a little sick on the way.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” You say in the car. You’re sitting in the back, next to Yoongi, staring straight ahead at the passenger seat before you. “And stay all in one piece,” You add as an afterthought.

Yoongi glances over at you, looking nervous enough to admit a pout. “At least you don’t have to say anything—I’m the one doing all the talking…”

You huff out a breath. This is true. You’re just here to play the supportive girlfriend, the agreeable partner who’ll publicly accompany Yoongi to a public event since a public announcement. Seokjin says that doing this with the lense of a romantic relationship makes you seem friendly, open, and supportive of the relationship. You’re not too sure how public perception is shaped, but you understand where Seokjin is coming from. Tagging along to an event as a girlfriend instead of a manager makes you and Yoongi seem free. Like you have nothing to hide.

Only in reality, it’s the complete opposite. With everything coming out to the surface, you have everything to hide.

It only takes a few more minutes of driving before you arrive at the radio station. The instructions for today’s assignment have been easy: get out of the car, and walk the many steps needed to reach the entrance of the station. The empty step ahead is surrounded by paparazzi and fans, all screaming and shouting—trying to get their fill of Yoongi.

You sigh. You could do this. You and Yoongi have been practicing for the past few days. Albeit, ‘practicing’ just mainly consisted of the pair of you walking down a hallway close together. It was more lackluster than anything else, and you don’t think it was entirely productive use of time. Seokjin seemed to think that the pair of you needed to work on a closer level of proximity. But you know the truth about your feelings, and know that the complications will come from just being too close to him.

Yoongi unbuckles his seatbelt and is already moving to tug at the handle that’ll open his side of the car door, immediately exposing him to the walkway along with the flashing cameras and loud screams. Before he can pull all the way, however, he stops short. You’re about to ask what the problem is, before he angles towards you and flashes you that grin he has when he’s thinking of ideas you wouldn’t approve of. “I have an idea,” He breathes out, quickly reaching over to grab your hand.

You stiffen at the contact, trying to ignore the flash of your heart speeding up in your chest. You and Yoongi hadn’t agreed on this—if you had, maybe you would have been a little more prepared for the situation! Oh god.

On instinct, you try to wiggle out of his grasp. “What are you doing?” You hiss.

Yoongi gives you a dry look, reaching over to grab your hand again. “Calm down,” He argues back, lacing your fingers together for extra measure, like that’s gonna be the thing to help you calm the fuck down. “This’ll help sell it, okay? Just trust me.”

Leaving little room for arguments, he squeezes your hand briefly before loosening it enough. He pulls the car door handle, pushing it outwards, and stepping out into the wild. People notice his appearance immediately, because the screams grow louder as Yoongi uses his unoccupied hand to wave and bow towards those who have come out to see him.

You trail behind rather helplessly; the hand connected to Yoongi pulling you out of the car. Yoongi stays near the door, staring down at you with a rather watchful gaze that only leaves you feeling hotter than before. Still, you don’t speak of it as Yoongi steps back just enough for you to step out of the car. “You okay?” He asks.

You nod, readjusting yourself with one hand before Yoongi starts to pull you alongside him to walk the distance towards the radio station entrance. Although you want to engage slightly with the crowd, your nerves keep you mainly at bay, forcing you to angle your head downwards just enough to avoid any serious eye contact. Yoongi keeps his gaze ahead, walking a rather brisk pace towards the radio studio—where security leads the way in opening the door for the pair of you. Whether he’s walking fast because he doesn’t want to keep up the charade of holding your hand for so long… or because he can feel how sweaty your palm is getting. You don’t know.

It’s only a few more steps before you and Yoongi are entering the building for the radio show, where Jungkook is lingering near the entrance. He’s on his phone, probably having just made a call with Seokjin about your arrival, before he spots the two of you entering. “Hey guys, how was it?”

Yoongi nods. “A little loud, but I think it went alright.”

Jungkook’s eyes flicker down to your intertwined hands. “Wow, you guys are committed,” He comments.

You seem to remember that your soul has returned to the body that is still currently holding hands with Min Yoongi. Alarmingly, you take your hand back. “Y-Yeah, Yoongi thought it would be a good show for the people outside! No biggie—just a simple hand holding technique, people do that all the time!” You realize that you’re rambling.

Yoongi, oblivious as always, raises an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” You manage. “Why do you ask?”

Yoongi is about to answer, before an intern shyly approaches the three of you with an iPad in hand.

“Are you all under Mr. Min’s team?” She asks, fishing out some badges when you nod in confirmation. “Okay, so make sure to take these so everyone knows who you are. Mr. Min? I can lead you to the studio you’ll be interviewing in, if you’ll follow me—did you need me to grab a soda for you?” She begins listing a series of questions about his well-being, leaving you and Jungkook behind in the hallway with your newly acquired badges in hand.

Jungkook, observant as always, gives you a look. “What was that all about?”

“Huh? I-It was nothing…” You trail off looping the badge around your neck, meeting Jungkook’s eyes and realizing that he’s wearing a shit-eating grin. The same kind of grin that Taehyung gives you when you’re standing too close to Yoongi. Your eyes flare. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”

Jungkook laughs. “Calm down, calm down, Taehyung and I gossip a lot on the side—hey, what the fuck, don’t hit me—we’re in a public place!”

You relent your aggression, but only slightly. You lower your arms as well. “Just—don’t tell Yoongi.”

Jungkook levels with you a dry look. “Do you think I have a death wish? C’mon, let’s head over.”

With a hesitant sigh, you relent and let Jungkook lead you down the halls of this studio, until the pair of you find a door with Yoongi’s name written on the white board. There’s a darkened LIVE light panel above the frame, indicating that Yoongi’s radio interview hasn’t started yet. There’s some people lingering about, who nod and open the door for you when you present your TALENT badge at them. The inside of a radio booth is similar to the recording booths Yoongi has found a home in as of late. There’s people in this current room, headphones on and monitoring what’s happening before them while being surrounded with sound panels and laptop screens. On the other side of the glass is Yoongi, and the main hosts of the radio station, Jung Hoseok and Im Nayeon.

From your side, you can hear their conversation amplified through speakers in the studio. They’re all currently joking around about external matters—it makes sense too. Yoongi has been on this particular radio show a handful of times.

“Okay, okay, you guys,” Hoseok speaks after a few more minutes of playful banter. “Today, we have a very special guest with us today. He’s fresh off the tour of his first and most recent EP, we have Min Yoongi in the studio! Yay!” He claps. Nayeon follows suit.

Yoongi stops his clapping sooner to speak into the microphone in front of him. “Thanks for having me back.”

“Thank you for deciding to hang out with us for the afternoon,” Nayeon says. “Especially since you’re a big hot shot now.”

Yoongi laughs. “I wouldn’t say that… I just finished my first tour, Nayeon, no big deal.”

“‘No big deal’,” Nayeon quotes him. “As if your EP didn’t chart into a top 50 list or anything like that.”

The conversation trails like this for a little bit. Yoongi is scheduled to spend thirty minutes doing a segment, which is meant to be uploaded onto Youtube later, so it gives the three of them a lot of legroom to play around and play off of each other. The purpose of the interview is to discuss the tour, the progress of the album, and (if anyone dared venture there) the status of his relationship—!

“Well, moving on from the album—which I’m sure is going to be a huge success, by the way,” Nayeon continues on, bringing you back from the daydream that you’ve slipped into. “Seriously, it’s a very highly anticipated release.”

Yoongi manages a nervous smile. “I’ll make sure not to let anyone down.”

Nayeon nods. “I think it’s a good time to ask about a recent development that has occurred with you as of late.”

“And, that is the announcement of your relationship,” Nayeon carries on. She glances at Yoongi from across the table. “We’re allowed to ask you questions about it, right?”

Yoongi nods, choosing his words very carefully. “I’m all ears for your questions, Nayeon.”

Nayeon brightens at that. “I just think that a lot of people want to know: how are you guys doing since the announcement?”

He takes in a breath. To the general public, it’ll probably look as if he’s steeling himself to finally come clean about a relationship he’s been hiding for three years. But to you, you know it’s because he’s just trying to figure out what exactly to say.

“We’ve been doing well,” He says with a nod of assurance. “It was a little stressful at first, and it still is because of how recent the news is, but I am glad we decided to make this call. Y/N has been with me since the beginning and has supported me and has been the inspiration for a lot of my music—and I’m at a point in my life where I want my fans to know that rather than drag them along and just make them assume these parts of my life.”

“That’s so sweet,” Nayeon gushes. “So Y/N wasn’t always just your manager, even back in your Youtube days?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “Actually, she was my girlfriend before I decided to upload song covers.”

Nayeon swoons a little. “Can you tell us the story of how we met? You can be brief, of course.”

Yoongi laughs. “We shared a class together in college, and she was probably the funniest person I had ever met—of course, we were friends for about a year before we started dating. But Y/N was always very supportive about me pursuing music, even when it was just a hobby. When I did start my Youtube channel, she stayed up to help with editing and just letting me know how some lyrics I had written would sound. She was a business major in college, so it felt right to let her have the reins on scheduling my appearances—and now she’s my manager. Besides just being my girlfriend, we work together really well.”

You huff out a breath, something you hadn’t even realized that you were holding. You didn’t think Yoongi lying straight through his teeth could cause you so much anxiety. As if there are people around this radio station to fact check everything leaving Yoongi’s mouth.

Nayeon hesitates for a moment. “Alright, I want to ask one more question.”

Yoongi gestures for her to continue.

“You write a lot about being in love and all these little moments of stability and that feeling of contentment—but what is your experience with love? How did you know that you were in love?”

Your lips part in shock at the question, having not expected it. After all, Seokjin didn’t quiz Yoongi on this answer. And to talk about love in such a personal manner—would Yoongi even have an answer for everyone?

Your gaze is trained on Yoongi, watching them through the glass separating you from him. It seems as if the entire room is silenced in anticipation. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze hot on your back, clearly trying to gauge your response—but you try not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“It’s actually funny,” Yoongi speaks up after a moment. Your heart lurches, thinking that he’s going to divert from the question. But you should know him better. “I always thought love, when it came to romance, was supposed to be this big explosion of fireworks and what not—like in the movies. You see someone and there’s this feeling in your gut right away, you know, this whole concept of love at first sight. I used to think that was how I was going to fall in love. It was going to be dramatic, but everything I wanted right away, and I was going to be whisked off and everything would be sunshine and rainbows. I thought that I’d meet someone, and they’d be everything I wanted them to be right off the bat, and that I’d know right away they’d be the one.

But the truth is, through my relationship, I realized that it’s not like that. I didn’t know Y/N would be the one right away. It took a long time—because we liked each other, but that’s not the big explosion of fireworks I was promised. We liked each other, but it was never love at first sight. And truthfully, she wasn’t even everything I wanted right off the bat. I’ve realized that love is more about these adjustments you as people have to make to fit, and it happened so subtly with me that then I didn’t realize it was happening until I just woke up one day and knew.

I knew because one morning, I woke up in a fit—I had fallen asleep at my desk again trying to get through some of the music arrangement of this one video I was working on, or something like that. I was always working on music and editing—so I actually don’t remember. Anyways, I woke up and my head was resting on a pillow, and there was a blanket over my shoulder, which I didn’t remember fixing up the night before. I got out of the little makeshift studio I had in my apartment, and there was breakfast food from this cafe I really like around the corner at my table. It was a little cold, but Y/N had taped a little note on the bag with heating instructions and what not, just telling me to do my best—really nice and supportive things. I had assumed that she had gone back home, because she knew I was pulling another all-nighter for work. That’s what I thought, until I look into the living room and find her sleeping on my couch. More than that, her hands were still on her laptop, where she had been in the process of still editing one of my videos. She still had her headphones on and everything. We had been dating for a little less than a year at that point, so it wasn’t like this was a rare thing. It was a pretty normal thing for her to do—wrap me up in blankets and buy me breakfast food the following morning, even falling asleep on the couch was a weekly occurrence. But I just saw her sleeping on my couch and I felt this wave of warmth and contentment. Like I always knew that she’d be on my team. I think that was the moment I really knew what love was.”

It’s a long story, one that ends with a stunned silence—like no one had expected him to give out such a detailed answer and make it sound poetic at the same time. That’s the songwriter Min Yoongi for you, you supposed.

Quickly, both the studio and the booth give out a chorus of aw’s and ooh’s, gushing amongst one another over the charming nature of Yoongi’s story. But you are still trapped into submission, staring straight through the glass with millions of questions still going through your mind. The spike in your heart rate also points to the rush of adrenaline flowing through you. Because you know this story that he is telling. He’s not lying through his teeth. You remember this night. Or, one of the nights, at least. Like Yoongi had said, you giving out blankets and food like air was second nature in your friendship. So was you falling asleep on the couch.

Did those situations hold as much weight for him as they did for you? Or, was he just making up his feelings? After all, the key to lying was skirting as close to the truth as possible. That kind of situation may work for Yoongi, as the liar, but it wasn’t as comforting for you.

You watch the way Yoongi laughs at the gushing Nayeon does, the way he smiles brightly and continues to reinforce how important you are—and you recognize his facade better than anyone else. Of course he’s lying, and you reach their realization with a bit of downfall in your stomach. There’s no way he would be telling the truth, especially considering the situation the pair of you are now in where Yoongi’s career is dependent on his ability to tell a proper lie.

You allow yourself to sink a little deeper into the studio, near the back where the producers of the radio station can discuss amongst each other. This puts you with Jungkook, who has been watching the situation closely the entire time.

“Yoongi can be quite the actor,” Jungkook mumbles. He has this unreadable expression in his eyes, but you know that Jungkook knows that situation Yoongi is describing. It had been Jungkook’s apartment as well. He glances at you, but says nothing.

You continue to stare ahead. That pensive silence continues as Yoongi is released from the radio interview, and thanks Nayeon and Hoseok eagerly for their time and energy. Nayeon returns the gesture, waving to you through the glass when Yoongi points you out. You weakly return the action.

It isn’t until you get into the car, where the pair of you are safe from the wandering eyes and careful ears of the entire world, that one of you elects to speak up. “So, what did you think?” Yoongi asks.

By this point, you’ve recovered swiftly from your disappointment. You smile like it’s your only shield. “As your manager, I’m glad that you were able to make love so poetic—just on brand for you. As your fake girlfriend, I also really have to congratulate you for your storytelling. I even remember those nights too, so it was definitely a good memory to lie about.”

Yoongi flushes a little at your comment, looking pleased with himself for a moment. You smile at his expression, before turning to train your gaze out of the window. The gesture makes you miss the way the smile slips off his face, the way he glances over at you. A good memory to lie about—right.

Yoongi’s radio interview goes viral, and so does any hope you have in trying to forget the tale he had spun during it. Granted, you are happy that people bought his story. You just wish that it wouldn’t have muddled up all your thoughts and feelings along the way.

Naturally, Seokjin is excited about the good press and the fact that the pair of you completed your first assignment well enough. At least, that’s the display he’s presenting when you walk into his office two days after the radio interview. Yesterday was spent looking over social media to see the public’s reaction to Yoongi’s speech about love, and if you as his manager would need to do any damage control. Luckily, you do not. As his manager, it leaves you in good spirits.

But as someone who actually has a crush on Yoongi, it’s less so.

That dejection only furthers itself when you see how excited Seokjin looks, like he’s already plotting the next steps to his little project.

“Ah, Y/N!” Seokjin greets carefully. “Hi, hi, congratulations on your first successful outing with Yoongi! Per the reports I’ve been seeing over social media, you guys did a very good job.”

You sigh, placing four coffee orders onto the table and sliding into the seat in front of Seokjin’s desk. “I didn’t really do that much,” You admit with a half-hearted shrug. “Yoongi did all the talking. I just waved at Nayeon through the glass window.”

“Aaahh,” Seokjin hums, opening up his laptop and turning it around in order for you to see what is on his screen. “Seems like you did a little more than that.”

Your gaze flints down to the big, bold words across the screen: THE INSIDER REPORT ON MIN YOONGI’S RADIO INTERVIEW: Employees at the K-IM Radio Station detail their experience meeting Yoongi and his girlfriend following the announcement of their relationship.

That piques your interest, and you scoot forward in your chair slightly in order to reach out and see what Seokjin is talking about. It’s not a very lengthy article—there is a summary detailing Yoongi’s interview, of course referencing his grand speech about love—but that’s not what takes up the most space.

Your eyes continue to skim over, almost not even believing what you were reading. The intern that first greeted you and Yoongi is in here, talking about how the pair of you were holding hands “in such a loving way, and the way they looked at each other before I led him to the radio booth was so romantic!” (The intern’s words, not yours). There’s even some excerpts from the employees and producers inside the radio booth, the same room you had spent the interview in. Surprisingly, a lot of the accounts are not talking about what Yoongi said. It’s all about how you looked when Yoongi was telling his story.

“It was such a powerful speech, I couldn’t help but look over to Y/N to see her reaction, and she was staring back at Yoongi in such a way that I knew immediately that the genuine nature of their love was a two-way street.”

“... a definite softness in her gaze, like she was reliving that memory with him.”

And so on, and so on.

Your face feels a little warmer when your eyes as you push the laptop away, glancing up to see Seokjin’s staring at you. “See? You did good. The small gestures you do can go a long way—especially when you don’t notice you’re doing them.”

You close the laptop, as if that can physically distance yourself from the assurances of those who had been around you. “Right…” You manage weakly.

“Well,” Seokjin hums, already moving onto the next point of the conversation. If he senses something fishy in your response, he doesn’t comment on it. “Anyways, Yoongi is in the studio right now with Namjoon, so I just want a little update report on your relationship with Yoongi. As in, how is it going between the two of you?”

You ponder this for a moment, thinking about how he took your hand in the car, how he recounted such a personal story to explain the details of his love, the look he gave you when you congratulated his storytelling abilities—like he knew something that you did not.

At the same time, it was such a minor appearance that you didn’t get much of a feel about the romantic aspect of this fake relationship. This is why you sigh. “I’m not too sure. We had such a minor acting role together that it’s hard to say. I will say that right now it feels pretty much the same.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Seokjin approves with a nod. “So you don’t have a problem if I want to plan some informal hang-outs for you and Yoongi? Just as a way to keep your guys in the public eye enough times that fans don’t start doubting your relationship.”

You smile weakly. “Of course. That’s what I signed the NDA for.”

Seokjin laughs, finally waving you off. “Okay, sure. I’ll look into where I think your relationship will make the biggest impact and will update you and Yoongi when I’ve made my decisions.” Finally, he looks over the multiple cups of coffee you had brought over on your cardboard tray, and fishes out the one with his name on it. “This one for me?”

You lean over, flickering your gaze from the cup to his face. “Well, at the very least, I know you can read now.”

His relaxed expression morphs into a playful scowl. “Get out of here brat.”

Your laughter echoes through his office as you take your cardboard tray of three coffee cups and reemerge back into the hallway of the record studio. You walk the familiar path until you reach the door to the recording room—pulling open the door and letting yourself in. Inside the booth, Yoongi is rapping away into his microphone, as his low voice fills the tiny space of this studio. You place the tray down onto one of the tables, picking up your own before sliding over to take a seat on the couch.

As you continue listening to Yoongi wistfully hum about a desire to cross an emotional distance, about how he tells the truth because “it’s you, it’s always been you”—you cannot help your mind wandering into what Seokjin has in store for you over the course of the next few months.

CHAPTER 4: TURNING POINT

Yoongi’s first full length album is set to release in two months.

At least, that’s what KSJ records claims after uploading a quarterly report of Yoongi’s schedule. At first, you don’t think it’s a big deal for Yoongi’s label to post a tentative update about his music progress, but his fans are extremely observant and catch on immediately. It’s good to draw up the hype, you suppose.

Anyways, at the rate that Yoongi is working on the songs for the album, you won’t be surprised if he manages to follow the schedule down to a T. The boy lives and breathes music, and last time you checked the album would consist partly of songs from his EP and new songs—meaning that it cuts down Yoongi’s usual workload into half. Not that he minds, at any rate.

“Okay, Min Yoongi,” Seokjin starts up, standing at the head of the meeting room which only consists of three people. Normally, with meetings with the head of KSJ records himself, there’s a lot more people around to discuss schedule, promotions, and the likes. The fact that it’s just you and Yoongi tells you exactly what you’re doing here. “It’s been a few weeks since your radio interview, and I know that you’re doing well in your progress of the album—but I think it’ll do you well to take a break.”

Yoongi huffs. “It’s nice that you’re reminding me about this, but I’ll rest when the album is released.”

Seokjin snorts. “When did I say rest? I just meant take a break from your album work. Plus you need to get some vitamin C, or whatever shit you get from the sun.”

“It’s vitamin D,” You interject gently.

“Pish posh,” Seokjin waves away your interruption. “Anyways, like I was saying, there is a way for us to kill two birds with one stone. So that you.” He points to Yoongi. “Can get out of the studio for a few hours and you.” He points to you. “Can play into a relationship that’ll help us kill two birds with one stone.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What exactly are you proposing?”

“Well,” Seokjin continues, leaning over his side of the table to get a few good at his laptop, where it appears that he has a few notes written down regarding the direction of this meeting. “In order to continue generating curiosity about Yoongi’s upcoming album and maintain the public’s constant queries about your relationship, I want you two to go on public outings. I have a few specific places I think would be good cornerstones to touch on, but I’m also willing to let the two of you figure out where you want to spend your time.” He glances up at the two of you. “That should be okay, right?”

You and Yoongi glance at each other. Come to think of it, the pair of you haven’t talked about nor reviewed the events at the radio station since it happened and the underlying questions you still have about his side of the story feels vaguely like a weight hanging over you both. But Yoongi smiles at you, and you think that you can continue to do what you’ve done for years: hide away your feelings.

“Yeah, that should be fine,” You speak up first, smiling back at Yoongi. You turn to Seokjin. “What did you have in mind?”

The question is how you find yourself in a car with Yoongi a few days later, your hands in your lap and your mind spinning with nerves. The radio interview had been one case, but a limited one at that—your role had been very minor and your interaction with Yoongi had only been seconds long. They had definitely been a lot smaller than this new role that Seokjin has assigned to you.

For today, Seokjin has directed the pair of you to the streets of Yoongi’s old stomping ground—the same shopping district with the same corner Yoongi spent all his nights performing in from a time period that seems so long enough. Not long enough, apparently, as Seokjin thinks it would be a nice nod to be ‘accidentally’ discovered walking along a place that holds so much memory.

“I just want you guys to walk around—be happy, but be close,” Seokjin had noted just a few hours prior to you and Yoongi’s departure. “Just look like the pair of you are on a date. Hold hands, smile at each other, all that jazz. Nothing too serious.”

Too bad it actually was kind of serious for you.

You and Yoongi make minor conversation, making some jokes here and there that do well in helping to ease your nerves. You don’t think Yoongi would take notice, but he can be strangely observant. Perhaps the way you keep bouncing one of your legs helps let him know that something is up.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

You stop bouncing your leg. “It kind of feels like I’m about to perform, or something—it’s that same kind of rush.”

Yoongi stares at you for a moment, before he looks out his side of the window. “Well, technically speaking, you are about to perform. You know, with this whole relationship being an act and all.”

“Very true,” You say, nodding your head. “Do we need a game plan?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I thought that we’d just wing it. We held hands back at the radio station so, uh, I’m assuming that you’re still comfortable with doing that?”

“O-Oh yeah, of course!”

“Then, we can do that. And walk around. Improvise while we do so—just see how the day goes.”

You nod. “Okay, true, true. That sounds good.” You can’t help but give him a sneaky smile. “Look at you, Min Yoongi, you’ve become quite the performer. Improvisation used to be something you were never too good at.”

Yoongi flushes a little, smiling back at you. “Give me a little credit. You gotta have backups for your backups, especially in situations when your sound gives up on you in the middle of one of your sets.”

You laugh, because this reminds you about one of Yoongi’s first live sets along the very street the pair of you will be approaching shortly. His speakers had just given up, forcing Yoongi to go entirely acapella. In a way, that mistake ended up garnering him more fans who grew to respect his craft and talent for music and singing. But as they say, hindsight is 20 20.

You and Yoongi continue to laugh about that memory for a few minutes before Taehyung arrives along the outskirts of the shopping district, pulling up along the curb. The car is on the other side of this bustling area, just a few feet away from the pedestrian walkway that is littering with people going to and fro.

Taehyung turns around in his seat to give the pair of you a look. “Now kids, I want you to call me whenever you’re ready to get picked up.” He’s grinning around the words though

You glare at him. “Sure thing dad,” You bite back, already opening the car door to take your leave. Your feet land onto the concrete of the sidewalk as you pull yourself into a standing position. Yoongi joins you shortly after, standing close to you. “Bye,” You say, slamming the door into Taehyung’s face before he can get in one last snarky reply.

Yoongi looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh for Taehyung’s benefit. But it’s an act he can only hold together for so long, because he does start to laugh as soon as Taehyung and the company car turn the corner and disappear out of sight.

After a second, Yoongi turns to you and gestures towards the pedestrian walkway just a few feet ahead. “Shall we?”

You nod, taking the hand that he extends out to you. Just an act, you tell yourself, you allow him to lace your fingers together. Nevermind the fact that the weight on your hand feels entirely too reassuring and comforting for the current context.

Ignoring that feeling, you squeeze his hand and let him lead you towards the walkway, where you cross the street with no problem. Since Yoongi nor Seokjin had announced Yoongi’s presence at this plaza for the day, you can only hope that too much attention won’t be drawn to you.

It’s a thought that you are able to entertain for a few minutes. Yoongi may not have the star quality status of mainstream celebrities (yet), but he’s still someone who has been on the radio, has done a country-wide tour, and has a youtube following of a couple million people (four now, the last time you checked—subscriber counts tend to zip by after a person hits a million). That small list of accomplishments is more than enough to drag in a few wandering eyes. Okay, maybe a little more than a few.

You think that you’ve kind of developed a seventh sense to knowing when Yoongi was being recognized. It’s shown in the double-glances some people start shooting at him, at quick whispers behind closed hands, and craning necks over shoulders.

You’re okay with people knowing about Yoongi’s current location, but the memory of his tours and even the crowd problem that came up during his street performances flashback in your mind. You don’t think you want to deal with that situation right now—secretly preferring if people just observed from a distance.

Without thinking twice, you tighten your hold on Yoongi’s hand long enough to lead him into one of the stores along the sidewalk—an accessories booth with fake glasses, rings, earrings, the likes.

Yoongi watches you, a touch of amusement in his eyes like he knows what you’re thinking. Still, he asks. “What are you doing?”

You rummage through the wide selection of glasses, fully aware that one or two people have spotted the pair of you and are lingering near the entrance to catch a glance at what you two are doing. From the looks of it, no one is going to stir up a commotion. You still want to make sure.

“You stand out,” You explain vaguely, finding a pair of circle glasses in black-rims from the pile before turning around and more or less smashing the glasses against his face. It’s difficult to try and put glasses on another person, you miss his ears a few times and almost get him in the eye, but Yoongi strangely enough lets you manhandle him.

In the midst of your last few attempts you step forward and scoot even closer to him to try and get the glasses more properly situated on his face. Due to the proximity, Yoongi’s hands fly up from his side to avoid being pressed uncomfortably against his chest, choosing to rest at your waist. At first, you don’t feel the weight of his hands, you’re too focused on making sure the fake glasses you’ve selected can fit in place.

As soon as you’ve properly aligned the glasses to his face, you lower your hands from his face. The action makes you suddenly hyper aware of the current position you’ve put yourself in. It’s not very often that you get handsy with Yoongi, it’s a side of you that comes out when the pair of you are in a hurry, but hardly during candid moments like this.

Immediately, Yoongi’s hands feel like warm flames tickling your skin, and you suddenly feel hyper aware of his position, of his closeness. Your eyes flicker up, seeing his face with those glasses you’ve just shoved onto him sitting nicely at the bridge of his nose, highlighting the intensity of his gaze. The stare he’s giving you only heightens the gravitational pull you feel towards him.

You don’t know how long the pair of you are just standing in the middle of the store, staring at each other, until you feel the weight of a third party approaching the pair of you.

You practically shove yourself away from Yoongi, trying to make it seem as if you’re just stepping back to get an overall look at his face (Yoongi featuring glasses). Yoongi lets you go.

The third party is an employee of the accessories booth, smiling widely. “Sorry to interrupt,” She says, looking over at Yoongi. “Sir, I just want to say that those glasses look great on you. And just to let you know we’re having a sale on that collection so it’s a buy one get the other one half off so maybe you two can match if you’re up to it…”

You tune her out after a second, realizing that you can’t really keep up with what she’s saying considering the current firestorm that’s going on inside your head. Why couldn’t you have just asked Yoongi to put the glasses on himself? You curse yourself for letting your guard down—sometimes you try to do things of your own accord, and today you were paying the price.

When you don’t speak after a few seconds, Yoongi smiles at the employee. “Got it, thanks a lot.” He waits until the employee returns back to rearranging some earrings on a nearby shelf before turning back to you. “How does it look?”

He does look good, but you play it down by tilting your head and settling with a shrug. “Well, you’ve looked better—but this’ll have to do.”

Yoongi laughs, before he does something that catches you off guard. He steps closer to you. “So you think there are times when I do look good?”

You try not to look too bewildered at his gesture. You can tell that he does feel a little nervous about the fact he’s testing the waters so boldly without any practice, but it’s all part of the act. Just as Seokjin said: be happy, be close.

So you place a hand on his chest, pushing him slightly with your own little teasing smile. “I said better—that doesn’t always mean you were ever good to begin with.”

Yoongi makes a noise of protest, and without warning just swings his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close to his side. “You’re breaking my heart everyday!”

“You must like the abuse, you’re still with me,” You bite back playfully without thought. For a split second, it doesn’t feel like you’re in a store with people who vaguely recognize Yoongi’s appearance—for a split second, it feels like just you and him, and everything you’ve ever wanted.

Upon Yoongi’s lips hover over the shell of your ear. “Good job, I think the group of girls outside caught our picture.”

That dreamy fantasy where it was just you and Yoongi and nothing else mattered came crashing down, squaring you right back into reality. It’s not a disappointing feeling per say—just a vague extra hammering of your heartbeat, a vague guilt that you let your mind let its guard down like that. “Right,” You say. “Uh…” You try to think, which proves to be a difficult thing to do with Yoongi’s weight pressed up against you and everything. You clap your hands together. “Okay, let’s grab a hat and then we’ll be on our way.”

You make sure to be a little less handsy when it comes to hat selections, but you knew there was only so far you could escape given the current context of the situation. Yoongi seems to know that, because he stays close to you as you’re both shifting through hats, and even when he pays for his hat and glasses combination before exiting the booth. The pair of you pass through the two girls that were lingering outside of the booth, where Yoongi gives them the smallest wave and hello before carrying on with the rest of the trip.

With the hat and glasses combination, it definitely draws less attention to Yoongi’s classic fluffy black hair and gummy smile—especially if you’re using what was going on in the beginning of your trip as a baseline. This means that you and Yoongi can carry on with the rest of your outing with feeling the obvious heavy weight of gazes on your shoulder.

With intertwined hands the pair of you first stop by one of the local cafes and sit right alongside the window to enjoy some pasta and soda combinations. You roll up the noodles onto your fork and clink utensils with Yoongi before slipping the noodles in your mouth—tomato sauce with flavor slipped into every side piece of noodle. It’s amazing, and you cannot help but gush so as you smile brightly around your fork.

You’re too busy stirring your fork around yet another string of pasta that you fail to see the softening look of the boy across the table from you. It’s a look that disappears by the time your gaze glints back up to resume the conversation. The pasta is considered a snack above all else, so it doesn’t take long for the pair of you to finish up your meal. Leaving a tip behind on the table, Yoongi walks over to you just as you’re straightening up from your chair. Silently, he offers his hand to you.

Knowing the routine by now, you take his hand, silently lacing your fingers together and letting him lead the way out of the cafe and back onto the sidewalk. The later afternoon shows itself in the steady increase of people, which is good because it makes you feel as if you can blend into the crowd either. There are still the occasional phones out, trailing after you and Yoongi as you walk along the sidewalk, but nothing that ever makes you feel as if you need to call Taehyung.

“Actually, this isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be,” You grumble to Yoongi quietly, a comment that he laughs at.

“I’m not that famous,” Yoongi jokingly teases you. “And my fans are just being respectful—give them a little credit.” His voice dies down shortly after, however, but it only takes you a few seconds to realize why.

The pair of you, in the midst of your simple ‘walk along the sidewalk’ plan, have arrived at a very familiar street corner. The sunset means that arriving performers who work best once the sun leaves are just beginning to set up their stage—laying out equipment, testing out sound systems, saying hello to some passersby who recognize the artists getting ready. You can read the signs of these interactions very easily. After all, it’s what Yoongi used to do a year ago, at this very spot too.

In front of you, a new performer, a singer, is setting up her own equipment—guitar in hand as she practices her strumming. You inch closer to Yoongi, your arms molded against each other. “Hey, hey,” You whisper at Yoongi. The boy leans over to better hear you. “She reminds me of you.”

Yoongi laughs. “What do you mean? How?”

You glance over at the girl again, not noticing the way Yoongi is still staring at you, quietly awaiting your answer. “You guys have the same drive,” You eventually note. “And the same determination. It’s easy to see in her, just as it’s always been like that for you…” You trail off, looking over to realize that he’s still looking at you.

“You noticed those things, huh?” Yoongi asks quietly.

His gaze is too enticing to look away from, pulling you in through a situation not unlike what had happened at the accessories shop earlier that afternoon. “I-I mean, of course I do…” Yoongi’s gaze feels like hot magnets that are just pulling the next words out of you. “I always notice with you.”

The world seems to quiet down at that, everything slowing down as you feel yourself mentally curse yourself out for those words. Why would you say it like that?

A million thoughts go through your head at once. You weren’t really lying or trying to play a part. You were being honest. You do always notice with Yoongi. And since he clearly only sees you as a friend that could participate in whatever scheme he can get himself into, then he would obviously hear your statement and think of it as nothing more than a friendly complement. Right? RIGHT?

Except, Yoongi is still just standing next to you, staring at you, not making any sort of comment whatsoever. He has that unreadable expression in his gaze, a look he always gives you when you let the cracks slip in your facade, but it’s something he never talks about, never explains to you—just like right now.

The silence grows tense, so tense that it begins to feel like weights on your shoulders, like a coil wrapping itself around your heart, because why isn’t he saying anything?

Yoongi hums, low and throaty and that coil around your heart drops into your stomach. “Is that so?” He inquires softly, continuing to gaze at you.

His gaze drops down to your lips, and that coil is replaced with butterflies all around you. It starts are a flutter in your stomach, in your heart, and your mind starts to race because what the fuck is happening?

Around you, the growing number of people means that someone accidentally bumps into you, driving you forward right into Yoongi’s chest. The pair of you stumble, effectively dissipating that cloud of tension that had threatened to curl through you. You cough, taking a small step away from Yoongi so that while the pair of you were still holding hands, that was the only thing connecting the pair of you.

You and Yoongi don’t have another run in like that for the remainder of the date, as that late afternoon sunset fades away into nighttime and you and Yoongi spend that time trying to enjoy each other’s presence whilst also not engaging in too much physical contact. Your fingers remain loosely intertwined but it never tightens as if the small air of space between your hands can hide away the nerves and tension you feel yourself trying to contain.

Even when Taehyung comes to pick the two of you up, and you no longer are under the obligation to hold hands, that air of space still feels heavy between the two of you.

The overwhelming positive response of your first official public date sends Seokjin through the moon, as well as provides him with a drive to arrange and send you and Yoongi out on more dates. All of which, fortunately for you, don’t come nearly as close to the level of tension experienced from the first date. Partly because you know your limits, and go into each planned date with a level of expectation for yourself as well as rules that you’ve internally programmed yourself to follow every time you and Yoongi step out of the car.

At the museum date, you make sure to keep your distance, using your intertwined hands with Yoongi as the only signal of your relationship. The pair of you joke around about the art pieces, whispering between each other about how many fans have taken pictures of the pair of you lingering about the museum, as well as relay information to each other about various rooms that you are interested in. But in a way, it definitely feels more like a typical friendly hang-out rather than a date.

The same idea can be applied to the next date Seokjin sends you on—a casual date at one of the local botanical gardens, each garden filled with a different culture to serve as the theme for its layout and plant growth. Some gardens have little cafe booths and grassy fields to buy some snacks before sitting down to enjoy the sunlight, which is an idea that Yoongi suggests that the two of you do. He points to one of the ice cream shops along the outskirts of a garden, and claims a seat on one of the benches so the two of you can enjoy your treat. The current summertime weather emits a warmer heat and breeze that curls lightly through the air throughout the day, making for a perfectly comfortable season to wear a sundress. It’s also the kind of undetectable weather for ice cream to melt down the cone, onto unsuspecting fingers curled into the dry waffle texture. Yoongi makes that well aware by poking your cheek with his sticky finger, garnering several pictures of the encounter.

Seokjin has even tried to implement studio life into his constant narrative to keep up the facade of your relationship with Yoongi. While the pair of you go on these occasional dates, Yoongi also has a deadline to fulfill with his album release. On the days where dates are not planned out, he’ll be in the studio—rearranging songs to fit in with the music beats that have more or less been tapered down to perfection. As his manager, sometimes you find yourself staying past your allotted time slot of being at the studio, before sneaking into the recording booth way past midnight to see what Yoongi and Namjoon are up to.

Just as it follows: you straighten up, craning your neck backwards a little to allow for slight muscle extensions after sitting at a desk for an extra hour too long. With Yoongi’s album steadily approaching, there are interviews that need to be arranged, magazines and newspapers and radio shows alike all reaching out to you for the opportunity to cover Yoongi’s growth as an artist. Albums also equate to tours to help promote the album, and with the close call from Yoongi’s last experience with such, it means that you need to book more locations—or the same location across multiple dates.

Overall, the growing pile of work means that you and everyone else at KSJ Studios are just as anticipated for Yoongi’s album release as the general public. It seems as if his collective fanbase are hoping and waiting under the same parameters: was the album going to be as good as they were expecting?

You shoulder your purse, stepping out of your office and shutting it behind you. You navigate through the hallways, glancing sideways to peek out the long glassway of windows, all overlooking the city skyline, the multicolor lights flickering ahead in the distance. You quirk a lip.

Your usual brisk pace dies down when you pass the studio you know Yoongi and Namjoon are recording in. The soundproof walls inside mean that hardly any music ever seeps out from between the cracks, only heightening your curiosity. Your busy schedule recently has made it so you have hardly been able to hear what Yoongi and Namjoon have come up with.

You glance down at your watch. It was nearing midnight. Well, you think to yourself, a little peek wouldn’t hurt. You reach over to grip the door handle, pushing it down and pushing it open. Inside is the usual scene: Yoongi behind the glass, his fingers curled around the headphones as he speaks into the microphone. His voice filters through the main studio area, where Namjoon sits behind computers and music panels, capturing every single second of what is going on.

Further driven by curiosity, you find yourself pulling harder at the door to let yourself in. Namjoon turns at the sound, but softens a little when he sees that it’s you.

“Burning the midnight oil?” You tease, standing next to Namjoon at the table, watching Yoongi’s closed eyes as he loses himself in the song.

Namjoon grins back. “You’re not gonna tell us to stop, are you?”

“Hey.” You bring both arms up in a sign of surrender. “I’m off the clock on this one. Just wanted to see what you two were up to.”

Suddenly, Yoongi calls your name from behind the glass, as the noise is amplified through the studio. You jump slightly, having not expected to be noticed so soon. Yoongi waves. “It’s late!” He calls. “What are you still doing here?”

You lean forward to press the button that opens the two-way communication. “I’m not sure you heard, but there’s an artist in this studio that’s working on an upcoming album—it’s causing a lot of pain for the rest of us.”

Yoongi laughs at that. “Touche, touche.” He brightens up slightly. “Hey, we’re wrapping up on this song, so if you stick around I’ll drive you home.”

This is a natural offer for Yoongi to make, considering the extent to which you’ve spent long nights here. Brushing it off as nothing more than Yoongi just being a good pal, you nod and flash him a thumbs up. “Sounds good, sounds good. But take your time. Don’t let me get in the way.”

You turn around, allowing the music of Yoongi’s song to refilter back through the studio. You park yourself atop the couch at the back, settling into the soft cushions. Come to think of it, falling asleep definitely isn’t the worst thing in the world to do—especially on this couch. And you’re exhausted, what with scheduling events all day and having to burn through your social battery by making one too many phone calls with various people within the industry.

The last thing you remember is Yoongi’s soft humming that fades away into a quiet static.

You jerk awake after what feels like a few minutes—but judging from your new position on the couch (horizontal this time, instead of vertical) and the blanket that has been tucked under your chin, you realize quickly that this few minutes has actually been a few hours. It might be hard to believe that, because the world around you still seems very similar to what it had been when you fell asleep. The lack of windows in the studio make it very difficult to distinguish time—although Yoongi’s voice sounds much closer than it had when you first fell asleep.

You sit up.

Namjoon and Yoongi jolt at your sudden movement. “Woah! She’s awake now,” Yoongi teases.

Blinking for a few seconds, you turn your head to find Yoongi out of the recording booth and instead sitting at one of the tables in the actual studio setting. Surrounding Namjoon and Yoongi looks like an entire McDonalds family meal: chicken nuggets, $1 menu burgers, lots of french fries…

You let out a breath to help further situate you to your new surroundings. “Min Yoongi…” You start, voice hoarse. “You said you were just finishing up.”

“I was,” Yoongi explains, looking vaguely guilty. Only vaguely though. “But I had this sudden epiphany, like holy shit you really had to be here—it was crazy.”

“I was here,” You choke out.

Yoongi waves you off. “You know what I mean—here here. Anyways, yeah, we realized that we couldn’t leave, especially when I got Namjoon on the same page. He was just as excited as I was!”

Namjoon slaps his hand. “Don’t drag me into this!”

Yoongi ignores him. “Anyways, it’s like two in the morning and we got hungry. McDonalds is the food of champions, after all. You hungry? Here, have some water first.” He grabs a bottle of water from the table and unscrews the cap. Suddenly, he’s standing up and making his way towards the couch. He sits down next to you, offering the water to you. “Here. You must be thirsty.”

You are. Still heavy-lidded too, but you try your best to blink away the exhaustion as you blindly reach for the water and manage to grab it after Yoongi adjusts his own angled arm. He watches you as you tilt your head back to down some of the water, accidentally drinking a little more than your mouth can handle. Some of it slides down the corner of your lip, making you angle your head back properly and remove your lips from the bottle head.

Yoongi softens a little at your clumsy nature, tugging the sleeve of his long-sleeved forward in order to pat the corner of your mouth. “Aw, look at my tiny little baby, can’t even drink water properly,” He coos.

You flinch slightly away from him, trying for a glare that comes out more like a pout. Yoongi laughs softly at the sight. “There are no cameras around us, Min Yoongi,” You grumble out. “You don’t need to be so attentive.”

“Nevermind that, I’m just trying to be a friend. You want a french fry?” He reaches across the space separating the couch from the table, and grabs the box of salty french fries. His voice carries that usual positive disposition from previously, but the light in his eyes has died down a little. You don’t notice it, too busy looking at the french fries and realizing that you are actually a little hungry.

The remainder of Yoongi and Namjoon’s break is dedicated to finishing up the family meal, before Yoongi looks at the clock and claps his hands together. “Hey Namjoon, I think I should take my girl home before we get back to working. Is that okay?”

Namjoon’s eyes flicker between the two of you, but he relents. “Of course.” He utters your name. “Have a good night.”

“I should be saying that to you,” You return teasingly, more of your senses have returned since putting food into your stomach. “See you tomorrow, Namjoon.”

So Yoongi takes you home, driving through the darkened streets, making light conversation with you, completely ignoring the fact that he has just addressed you as his girl, before your phone starts to buzz in your lap. It’s a notification from Instagram, saying that Namjoon has tagged you in a picture. Raising an eyebrow, you tap the alert, which takes you to a picture from just a few minutes ago—you and Yoongi at the studio, Yoongi tapping gently at your face with his sweater paw. The caption burns into your mind: three am company, ft my favorite artist and his favorite girl.

His favorite girl.

His girl.

CHAPTER 5: HIS GIRL

Yoongi’s album is entitled Y2, and it releases in the autumn, when the leaves are colored orange and the breeze has called for cozy jackets and big sweaters. It’s the perfect attire to wear as the earphones get plugged in and slipped into ears—curled up by soft cashmere and Yoongi’s luring voice. He’s got about sixteen songs on the album, a sweet mixture of loose beats and soft vocal voices that seem to simultaneously battle the drawn out harsh tone of stories extended across various three minute arrangements. The stories cover the low point—passive aggressive fights, of late nights, of “holding your hand, being so close, yet feeling so lonely”. But the songs also touch on the high points—coming back together, of soft morning light, of “being with you, wiping the traces of exhaustion from the corner of your lips, so close yet so far away, and still knowing you’re all I [he] could ever want”.

At least, it is what one article touches upon in a Y2 review, where the journalist gives high remarks to Yoongi’s album. She calls it a refreshing interpretation of music, continuing in the era of singers actually singing about their feelings. More than that, an era of storytelling in music. Of anything, of life, of the highs and the lows—the sadness, the happiness, the softness.

Safe to say that Yoongi is very excited to read this review on his phone, along with the surplus of positive things people have to say—from highly regarded journalists who belong to highly regarded newspaper companies, from social media, from his friends and family. Most especially, from you. You: whose hand he holds underneath the table as the numbers of listens start pouring in from various streaming websites.

He’s been nervous about this. He’s put his blood, sweat, and tears into the creation of this album, every song has been nailed down to perfection. His name, and his heart, is back out into the world.

The night of the album release is the launch party.

“Dude, it’s supposed to be a chill night,” Jungkook calls from the hallway, and you can’t help but laugh at how exasperated the boy sounds. “Would you just calm down?” Jungkook emerges from the aforementioned hallway. Despite his mention of this ‘chill night’, he’s still wearing something vaguely casual chic. “You’re his manager. Manage his overthinking tendencies.”

You laugh, watching as Jungkook plops down into the empty spot next to you on the couch, immediately leaning back into the cushion. “You know as well as I do that I don’t have that much control over him.”

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “You probably have more control than you think.”

Before you can ask more questions, think more deeply into what the fuck Jungkook means by that, his eyes land on the hallway entrance before straightening up in the cusion. Your eyes follow Jungkook’s movement, where Yoongi is now standing in the once vacant space of his apartment. But his stance isn’t what gets you to stare, what makes your breath feel like it has just caught in your chest. Although he’s following the ‘casual chic’ dress code that Seokjin has ordered, there’s something about a white t-shirt that hits differently when it’s paired with a coat and dark jeans that highlight his long legs.

Yoongi gestures down at what he’s wearing meekly. “What do you think?” Although it appears that he’s addressing both you and Jungkook, his gaze is almost entirely fixed on you.

Trying hard to ignore the racing of your heart, you straighten up and somehow manage to make your way over to him without snapping your ankle on your chunky platform boots. Doing your best to pay attention to his outfit over his face, you reach over to straighten out the silver necklace he’s got dangling at his chest. “You look good,” You settle calmly. “And Jungkook is right—it’s supposed to be a chill night. Seokjin just invited people from the label. And some of your friends as well. Relax a bit, will you?”

Finally, you force yourself to level your gaze with Yoongi’s, fully confident that he’s just staring at you and probably wondering why you aren’t making eye contact with him. But when you do manage to glance at Yoongi’s face, you realize quickly that he’s not even staring at you. Instead, he’s staring down, at the curve of your throat.

Without warning, your cardiac system seems to pump itself too hard, because your breath of surprise comes out through your nose, effectively bringing up and lowering your lungs so fast that anyone would be able to read your vital sounds now. This proves to be true, because Yoongi’s gaze darts up from your neck to your eyes so quickly, that you probably wouldn’t have noticed had you stuck around without looking at his eyes. Doing that, however, might have saved you from this now tricky situation. “Sorry,” Yoongi manages, eyes flickering between yours. “I, uh, didn’t hear what you said.”

You realize the gravity of your position—your fingers now curled around the lapels of Yoongi’s jacket and one of his hands curled around your waist. That gravitational pull from every single one of your dates with Yoongi comes back again, curling around your neck and seeming to push you closer, closer—!

Jungkook coughs loudly from behind you.

You and Yoongi tear your gazes away from each other, as you uncurl both of your fingers from around Yoongi’s coat. “I-uh,” You start. “Was just saying that you should relax a little. You don’t have to try and impress anyone tonight.”

Yoongi sneaks one last glance at you. “We’ll see,” He says, before stepping away from you and brushing past Jungkook to make his way towards the door. Jungkook turns to look at you, wide-eyed and mouthing the words ‘what the fuck was that?’

To which you shake your head, very sure that you don’t want to get into this tonight of all nights. This was supposed to be a celebration for Yoongi. Just as you’ve done for the past few months, you can continue to keep your emotions in check. Easy-peasy.

Except it’s not easy-peasy because you see Seokjin at the club that he’s reserved for Yoongi’s album release party, and you realize that this is not a chill event for you—you still have to keep up the facade of your relationship in front of everyone.

Yoongi seems to realize this at the same time you do, because he inches closer to you and laces your fingers together. From afar, Seokjin nods in an unspoken confirmation regarding your behavior.

The beginning of the party starts with the trickle in of the various guests Seokjin has invited—from the friends he has made in the business, to others signed under the KSJ records label, to you, Jungkook, and Yoongi’s personal friends from college. The onslaught of new people fills you with the usual sense of excitement after not having attended a party in what feels like years. Working as a manager for a budding new artist is a lot less about the parties and more about the hustle.

The first hour of the event is dedicated to the mingling of people—of free food and conversations around the bottomless cocktails that every guest rushes to the bar to take full advantage of. It’s nice to be able to catch up with the friends that you and Yoongi haven’t spoken to since graduation—which is the group you and Yoongi first approach, as Yoongi is slinging his arm around one Park Jimin. The latter whose eyes widen and lips curl up into a grin at the sight of the two of you. It’s nice to see an old friend again, it almost brings you back to a time where you and Yoongi were both in-tune and surface-level friends.

“Hey, congratulations on the new album release!” Jimin exclaims brightly after the three of you have acquired some drinks from the bartender. Jimin raises his drink first, to which you and Yoongi follow suit.

As the glasses clink into the air, Jimin adds in another thing that reminds you of the fact that you and Yoongi are not back in college. You are here, in the present, with a fake relationship on the line.

“And congratulations to your relationship announcement,” Jimin continues.

You cough on your drink at that, lowering the glass immediately, feeling guilty all of a sudden. “Jimin, I know what all those reports have been saying…”

“Don’t worry,” Jimin brushes off. “I read through some of them. You guys have been dating for three years, right? I’m honestly surprised I never saw it. In hindsight, it makes sense.” Jimin takes a longer sip, gesturing towards Yoongi with a noise of acknowledgement coming from his throat. “Hm—I guess because you guys are dating now, I can let the cat out of the bag—but, Yoongi liked you from the first moment he met you.”

Now it’s Yoongi’s turn to choke on his drink, his chest heaving as he coughs into his sleeve. “Jimin, ah, you don’t need to talk about that—!”

Jimin laughs, naturally assuming that Yoongi’s choke was done out of shyness and not something deeper than that. “What, you think just because this happened when we were at college, I wouldn’t have said something all these years later?”

You can’t help but smile at their exchange. Although Jimin’s comment about Yoongi’s crush definitely piques your interest. You turn to Yoongi. “You had a crush on me back then?”

Yoongi opens his mouth, but Jimin beats him to it. “Oh yeah, he wouldn’t shut up about you—said that you had this smile like starlight and were super easy to talk to.”

“You have a great memory for someone who almost flunked college algebra,” Yoongi bites out hotly.

Jimin, clearly oblivious to the situation, laughs out loud. “I agree. Normally I would have forgotten all about that. But.” With Jimin’s fingers still curled around the wine glass, he is only able to point an index finger out at Yoongi. “I’ll never forget that look in your eyes. Like you saw something you were never going to let go of.”

You know Jimin is the one talking, but you cannot help but look at Yoongi as you feel your world spinning slightly around you. You blame it on the alcohol—as small of a sip as you have taken so far. Jimin, unlike a lot of the other parties you’ve been spending your time with, is not in on the joke of your relationship with Yoongi being a PR cover story. So there has to be some merit to it. Right?

Right?

Before you can even think how to phrase the billions of questions flying through your mind, the soft beat of a hand against a microphone sounds through the bar, as the original music that has been pounding through the club gets lowered to show that someone is trying to command everyone’s attention.

It’s Kim Seokjin, situated at the stage, with the microphone in hand. “Hey everyone! Before we actually start unveiling the numbers that Y2 has hit so far, I just want to say a few words. First of all, thank you everyone so much for joining us tonight as we celebrate the anticipated release of Min Yoongi’s album.”

Lots of claps sound from the guests, several cheers, one of you and Jimin join in just for the sake of embarrassing Yoongi. If he’s flustered with the attention, he’s gotten a lot better at hiding it.

“Actually,” Seokjin continues. “Why don’t we have the man of the hour join us? After all, my words don’t mean shit up here—I wasn’t the one who just released new music. Yoongi, come on up!”

Lots more claps and cheers, and the music volume increases dramatically just to give Yoongi some sort of platform to enter on. It makes you laugh. Seokjin is clearly having fun with his role. So you watch, sticking by Jimin, as Yoongi emerges from the crowd to step onto the stage. Seokjin pulls the microphone away from the pair of them as he leans over to whisper something into Yoongi’s ear, where the latter nods a few times before accepting the microphone that is now being extended out to him.

Yoongi clears his throat, speaking over the lowering music. “Hi guys, thanks so much for coming out,” He starts, laughing a little when there is another round of cheers. “As I’m sure a lot of you know, this is my first full length album that’s being released out into the world and it’s basically everything I ever could have dreamed of. One lesson that I’ve learned is that making albums of both the cover songs I did and the original songs I would produce in my shitty college apartment is a completely different experience than getting professional equipment to do a lot of the work for me.”

You laugh at that, the memories floating through your mind.

Yoongi smiles a little at the feedback he gets. But he continues. “And of course a lot of that professional equipment was able to work in my favor because I had helped. Seokjin of course, deserves a thank you for letting me learn and experiment with new sounds, and for letting me take a risk by trying out beats and stories that a lot of people might have turned down. And Namjoon.” He seems to spot Namjoon from the crowd, because he delivers a nod. “For being more than my favorite producer, but also my mentor and my guide. We had a lot of lightbulb late nights together. And finally…” His eyes land on you, and you feel yourself self-consciously straighten up. “Y/N—my Y/N. For those of you who don’t know, my girlfriend is my manager and we recently made our relationship public. I thought the transition from private to public would have been the hardest thing of my life, but she made it so easy. Just as she’s always made it so easy to inspire my music, to be my best friend—and to love her.”

Love.

You suddenly feel like you’re seeing the world through a small lens, unable to believe the words you are hearing and the sights you are seeing. Yoongi is staring right back at you, with all this love and adoration in his eyes, lips quirking up as a result of the coos from the audience.

It’s a vague kind of spotlight anxiety from seeing so many people looking at you considering the circumstances. It’s a feeling that only heightens when Yoongi opens his mouth again to continue speaking. “Actually, honey, why don’t you come up here, so I can thank you properly.”

The whoops and cheers sound again, and Jimin has to nudge you in the ribs to get you to move. Your initial thoughts are one of panic, suspicion, and curiosity. One glance at Seokjin’s direction conveys the high influx of questions that are flowing through your mind—what exactly are those two boys planning?

Yoongi’s hand extends out to you, helping you up onto the stage, as you turn around to face the crowd of people Yoongi has just been addressing. Of course, you have less experience hiding your general shyness around crowds, so the most you can muster is a smile and a wave.

Yoongi laughs into the microphone. “Don’t worry baby, I didn’t call you up to embarrass you. I just wanted to show you that all of this…” He gestures to the whole club, the crowds of people who have taken time out of their schedule to show support, the sounds of his album now filtering through the speakers. “All of this was possible because you believed in me, you supported me, and agreed to help me work toward my dream. This is all as much yours as it is mine.”

Then, he surprises you by leaning forward to brush his lips across your cheek—a gesture that further incites a bigger reaction of positive cheers and hoots from the audience. You turn your head immediately towards him as soon as he pulls away, your eyes wide with surprise. After all, you and Yoongi have never discussed the rule on kissing before, have never brought up any sort of lip contact to any degree. His boldness is something that takes you completely off guard.

And judging from the uncertain look that dances behind his eyes, a flicker that only you can see and decipher, you can tell that he hadn’t been expecting that from himself either.

You’re about to pull away, maybe walk off the stage and take another drink to whatever the fuck that was all about, before Jimin’s familiar voice sounds off from within the crowd.

“You call that a kiss, Min Yoongi?” Jimin calls, close enough now that it’s easier to see him. “C’mon, kiss your girlfriend like you mean it!”

The rest of the crowd immediately catches onto what Jimin is doing, and they play into it immediately. Suddenly, shouts of “KISS HER, KISS HER!” sound throughout the guests.

The new direction that this has taken over the span of just a few seconds seconds you into another wild onslaught of differing emotions. Nevermind the fact that you’ve never agreed to actually kiss Min Yoongi. Obviously, the internal choice has been made for a handful of reasons, none of which you can explain to Yoongi or Seokjin without digging yourself further into this hole where you would truly have no way of escaping.

Which is why you clearly can’t say anything of protest right now. Everyone thinks the pair of you have been dating for years, and that kissing has become a natural action for you both to do. Of course they would play into Jimin’s game, thinking nothing harmful of it.

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears as you shift your gaze from the crowd of people before you to Yoongi, who looks equally as stunned by the request as you. He plays it off a little bit, however, smiling as he brings the microphone close to his mouth again. “I’m not sure you all would want to be subjected by some PDA, especially you over there, Park.”

Jimin makes a noise of disapproval. “It’ll just be this one time! I’m sure people don’t mind! Spread the love, Min.”

Other people from the guest list add on that they don’t mind in between their laughter and giggles, probably writing off you and Yoongi’s shy disposition as just that: a shy, private couple who is still getting used to the watchful eye of the general public. Nevermind the fact that you and Yoongi have just never kissed each other before.

Yoongi then turns to look at you, microphone down to his legs so that it can’t pick up the small whispers the pair of you start exchanging. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you up here…”

“No, no, it’s fine, I understand why you did it…” You trail off. “Kissing my cheek, on the other hand…”

Yoongi groans. “Yeah, that’s my bad. Seokjin said I could consider doing it but I wasn’t thinking when I leaned over. I completely forgot that Jimin is a menace to society. I’m gonna kick his ass after this.”

You want to continue this private, side-lined conversation, but it is overrun by the louder voices that keep repeating the same two lines over and over again: “KISS HER, KISS HER!” until the echoes of it start ringing in your ear drums.

Yoongi switches topics to the more pressing one at hand. “So, uh, I guess we should…”

You exhale quickly, nodding. “It seems so…”

Yoongi inches closer to you, his breath fanning your lips as your eyes instinctively close. “I’m sorry,” He whispers, the final thing he says to you before he kisses you.

Now, let’s backtrack a little. You’ve liked Yoongi for years, so to say that you’ve never thought of this moment would just be a lie to yourself. Of course you’ve thought about kissing Yoongi. Or, at the very least, you’ve caught yourself staring at his lips when he would go off on another spiral about his passions. That type of talking is very hot, so what?

But you never thought you would be able to experience it, to kiss the lips you’ve flickered your eyes to more times than you’re willing to admit. So as soon as you feel the weight of his mouth against your own, your brain goes haywire. Suddenly, all your senses are hyper focused on Yoongi—from his lips, to the warmth of his body wrapping itself around you, to his fingers curled around your wrist.

You hardly hear the cheers from the audience, too busy allowing your heart to melt into butterflies as he presses harder into you, moving his lips against yours. You part your lips as well, curling your wrist to gather the material of his shirt into your hands.

It feels like time has stretched out before Seokjin claps both of you on the back, forcing you to jolt away from Yoongi. He actually looks flustered this time—pink cheeks and reddened lips, his eyes are fixated on you, chest heaving. You feel like you’re in a similar state of shock, especially because kissing Yoongi makes something dawn on you. A realization of ice cold water.

This isn’t just a crush you’ve harbored on Yoongi for the past few years. This isn’t just some small schoolgirl crush living out a fantasy, or something you can easily brush off, or simple butterflies you can squash everytime he reaches out to hold your hand. This is love. You’re in love with your best friend. And you have absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it.

If the audience is taken aback by this long-term couple in front of them looking zero point two seconds away from devouring each other in a frenzied passion, no one settles long enough to comment or stare upon it for too long. Seokjin does well to grab the microphone from Yoongi and bring the attention back to the actual party on hand. He mentions another round of free alcohol, which are two words that can take anyone’s attention away.

“And Yoongi, uh, I actually need to borrow for you a moment,” Seokjin murmurs in a low voice. “So I hope I’m not taking away from…” He trails off, gesturing awkwardly between the two of you. “Whatever this is…”

“Oh no!” You interject quickly, taking a step away from Yoongi. “Not taking away at all.”

Yoongi gives you a concerned look. “Maybe we should, uh, talk about that…”

You shake your head. “No, it’s okay, seriously.” You shrug a shoulder. “Just part of the act, right?”

Yoongi’s concern melts away into something that might be hurt, but it’s gone just as quickly as it had come. “I’ll try not to be long then.”

You nod. “Yeah, no problem—no need to rush or anything… I’ll just be hanging out with Jimin…”

Yoongi gazes at you for a few seconds longer, before he lets himself get dragged off the stage by Seokjin. Rather than immediately go out to seek your old friend, you find your gaze following after the two of them, trying to see where exactly Yoongi is getting roped into.

You continue to trail after them in the club, until the two of them are pulled into a booth—the person opposite of them makes your lips part in utter shock.

“Yoongi, I want you to meet an old friend of mine,” Seokjin starts as he and Yoongi dive deeper into the thrones of people. Yoongi feels himself being directed towards a corner booth, currently occupied by two people. “She wanted me to introduce you.” Finally, the pair of them stop at the head of the table. “This is Lee Jieun.”

Right off the bat, Yoongi is vaguely insulted that Seokjin thought that someone like Lee Jieun needed an introduction—because who wouldn’t know who Lee Jieun?

Lee Jieun, like Yoongi, is a singer-songwriter with a sweetheart reputation, who weaves stories and experiences through her music. But unlike Yoongi, who got his start through Youtube and built himself from the ground up, Lee Jieun signed into a record label at the age of 15. As one could tell, she was that talented. Still is, as a matter of fact. Her albums are continuously winning awards, establishing herself in the charts, connecting with people all over the world. He would know—when Yoongi finally discovered Jieun in the midst of his Youtuber days, it was the catalyst that served as the biggest influence towards the release of his original songs. The fact that they’re both the same age only makes Yoongi even more in awe of her.

Yoongi being able to see Lee Jieun, in the flesh, is a powerful enough sight to leave him speechless.

Lee Jieun sits at the booth, looking all prettied up with her big eyes and red lips. Everything about her seems regal, from the smile she flashes Yoongi to the hand she extends out towards him.

It takes a second for Yoongi to register what he needs to do. Hastily, he steps forward and takes her hand in his. Despite her delicate nature, her handshake is firm as the pair of them move their joined hands up and down once. Honestly, considering their status difference, he feels like a handshake is too casual for them, but he doesn’t speak of it. He just basks in the moment, until he lets go of her hand.

Afterwards, he joins Seokjin in the booth, sliding into his seat.

Jieun smiles brightly at the two of them. “Thank you for going out of your way to come talk to me. I hope I wasn’t disrupting your night.”

Yoongi shakes his head immediately. “Oh, god no. Of course not. I’m just—I’m really honored to see you here. I-I had no idea that you were friends with Seokjin.”

Jieun laughs. “Oh yeah, we go way back—we were actually signed under the same label. Seokjin left to pursue management a few years ago, but we’ve always kept in touch.” She reaches over to take her glass of soda from the table. “He told me when he signed you, you know. He said that you were doing street performances a few cities down?”

Yoongi flushes at that. “Oh yeah—my origin story.”

“I mean, everyone starts from somewhere,” Jieun brushes off, laying down her cup again. “So I’ve honestly been looking out for your name since Seokjin signed you. I heard about your tour, but knew that I wanted to wait until your first full length album just to make sure your reputation was a little more fleshed out before bringing up my idea with Seokjin.”

Yoongi blinks, switching his gaze from Jieun to Seokjin. The latter nods, as if to let him know that Jieun would be the one providing information. So Yoongi turns back to Jieun.

Jieun continues. “Since it seems that we’ve both developed a songwriting, storytelling reputation amongst the music industry, I was hoping that you’d agree to do a collaboration with me. Just one single, both of our names attached to it. It’s been awhile since I worked with another artist, and I’m sure that doing this will only further put your name out there. It could also be a really good learning experience.”

Yoongi almost cannot believe his ears. Lee Jieun wanted to do a collaboration? With him and his inexperienced ass?

Yoongi coughs out in wonder. “Wow.”

Jieun smirks. “Not what you were expecting?”

“No, no, not at all!” Yoongi reassures, but then he backpedals a little. “I mean, it’s not that I was expecting you to ask for a collaboration—I just—!” He cuts himself off, exhaling heavily to calm his nerves. “It’s just, you were a very big reason I even wanted to sing my original songs back when I was street performing. So the fact that you’re asking me to do a song together is honestly so crazy to me.”

Jieun grins. “I’m honored—so are you agreeing to my request?”

Almost on instinct, Yoongi turns to Seokjin. It’s not that Yoongi doesn’t want to do the collab, it’ll probably be the single most greatest thing to happen in his career, but Seokjin was technically his boss and their contract had it so Seokjin usually had to final say in what he believed would be best for him.

And for the briefest flicker of a second, Yoongi’s mind switches to you. More than Seokjin’s approval, he finds himself seeking your praise the most. After all, you know how much he admires Lee Jieun. He wants to share this moment with you.

Instead of jumping up to go find you, he forces himself to stay rooted to his seat. “I-I think I would be the one who feels honored. T-That is, if Seokjin says it’s okay.”

Seokjin holds his arms out. “Of course it’s okay! The collaboration was also partly my idea. Anywho.” He turns back to Jieun. “We’ll have to run through Yoongi’s schedule with his manager just to see when he’s available. But after that, we can get started.”

At the mention of you, Yoongi’s manager, Jieun’s eyes brighten with her smile. “Oh yes, your girlfriend.” She sits a little straighter, trying to seek you out. “She’s here at the event right? I’d really love to meet her, if that’s okay?”

Yoongi nods immediately. “O-Of course!” He also sits up a little straighter, moving about in his seat to try and locate you. He finds you near the bar, seeming to have ditched your hang-out with Jimin, as you take an occasional sip of your drink. “She’s over there.”

With a nod, the three of them move out of the booth and towards the bar, where you’re still slouched over, scrolling through Instagram on your phone. You seem to notice their approaching presence, because you take a quick glance over to acknowledge them, before doing a double take when you realize who else is in Yoongi’s company.

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaim, immediately sliding out of your bar stool, your gaze fixated on Jieun.

Seokjin laughs at your starstruck reaction. “Y/N, this is Lee Jieun—but I’m guessing you already knew that?”

You seem to realize your behavior, because your shyness comes back. “I do. Um, hi! It’s really nice to meet you.” You reach over to offer your hand.

Jieun takes it, shaking for a second. “The pleasure is all mine.”

Your gaze immediately flints to Yoongi. “Yoongi, you didn’t tell me that you were acquainted with Lee Jieun herself!”

Yoongi waves you off. “Actually, Seokjin is the mutual party.”

Your lips part in shock, as you nod once, twice, in understanding. “Well, uh, in that case, I hope you’re having a good time tonight, Jieun.”

“It’s really a wonderful launch party,” Jieun praises. “But I do admit to having ulterior motives. I actually came by to ask Yoongi if he wanted to work on a collab song with me.”

Your lips part, and Yoongi feels a vague sense of pride swell up in his chest when you turn to look at him, eyes brighter than they have been all night. “Yoongi! That’s so amazing! I hope you agreed.”

“I did, actually,” Yoongi says with the nod of his head. If you notice that he’s puffing his chest out a little as your words go straight to his head, you don’t comment on it. “We’ll definitely have to go over my schedule with you, pick some dates where Jieun and I can have some writing sessions, and then the recording sessions, just to name the big picture stuff that’ll have to get done. But we should all be good to go.”

As Yoongi continues to list everything that’ll need to be done in order to create music together, your gaze shifts between Yoongi and Jieun occasionally, taking in their equal excitement and passion for the long project ahead. It isn’t until the end, when you and Yoongi leave the launch party, after having collected praise and much more from the many friends and connections that have been gained throughout the night, you enter the car wearing an unreadable expression—like you’re pondering something that threatens to break you.

To be frank, you aren’t surprised that Lee Jieun asks Yoongi to collaborate together. Sure, maybe she came a little earlier than you had expected, but you always knew it was a matter of time before the pair of them met. Their reputations are too similar, their personalities too good together; you’re sure that fate would have lined them up at some point.

It just feels like maybe the universe made them a little too perfect for each other—and it’s something that becomes glaringly obvious as a month of songwriting goes by without a hitch. Every few days, Jieun would turn up to KSJ Records, bright-eyed and always looking so, so pretty. Every few days, Jieun and Yoongi would sit next to each other, conversing about the story of their song, both bright-eyed with unbridled affection for what they were writing. And sure, Namjoon would be a part of these songwriting sessions. But that’s not the point.

The point is that as Yoongi gets bigger and success becomes a more natural occurrence in his life, the more people he’s going to meet with whom he shares a common interest and dedication for. People he would probably (most definitely) get along with a lot better than he could get along with you. Friendship is nice and all, but it can’t substitute for the powerful combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment that comes out of romantic companionship.

And you see it in his eyes: the excitement he gets when he’s surrounded with like-minded people. You’re Yoongi’s manager, sure, and one of his best friends, obviously, but there’s only so much you can contribute to conversations about the actual music. Truth be told, when it comes to editing, you just do whatever Yoongi tells you to. And don’t even get you started on the music arrangements—you can’t even lift a candle to what Yoongi himself can do. Or Namjoon. Or especially Lee Jieun.

And although you know that Yoongi means no ill-intention, it feels as if he takes every opportunity to remind you of that fact.

“I mean, she’s amazing.” He’s sighing dreamily over his bulgogi. The pair of you are at a corner booth in a Korean barbeque restaurant, on another fake date Seokjin has prearranged for you. It’s not the first date you’ve been on since Jieun entered the picture, and it’s definitely not the first time Yoongi is bringing her up. And although this isn’t even a real date, and although this isn’t a real relationship, there’s only so much you can take—both as a friend and as someone who is starting to feel the curl of jealousy in your stomach.

Still, you refuse to let the cat out of the bag. So you sigh, picking up your chopsticks and digging into your meat. The only thing you can manage is: “I bet she is.”

But Yoongi doesn’t stop there. “You should have seen her today, she was on fire. Songwriting abilities, obviously. We were stuck on this one part of the song, but then she just swooped in with this perfect one-liner that made my heart drop. Seriously, it was so cool. I don’t know how her mind works, but I want to keep hanging out with her to learn more.”

You almost drop your meat completely into your salt dish, but you recover quickly with a cough. The noise helps cover up the fact that your heart feels the white-hot burn of frustration and confusion. “W-Well, you guys do make a good team. You know, being on the same level talent-wise.”

Yoongi laughs at that, completely oblivious to your state of mind. “Talent-wise? I wouldn’t say I’m anywhere near the level Jieun is at…”

As he trails off, you dare yourself to flicker your gaze up to him, seeing the pink flush that dusts along his cheeks. Interpreting this as shyness for the internal praise and fondness he has for Jieun, you look away and pick up the plate of raw beef brisket to dump into the grill.

Yoongi notices what you’re doing, and immediately reaches over to take the plate from you. “Here, let me do it.”

A part of you wants to fight about it, but you know doing so will just lead you down the path of no man’s land. So you let go, offering the tongs to Yoongi as he takes it to scrap the meat into the grill between the two of you. He takes the silence as an opportunity to further gush about Jieun, and how he can’t wait to work on music arrangements with her, how he’s excited to record the song with her, so on and so forth.

How could you even contribute to a conversation like this? He’s talking to you about a girl in a way that reminds you of your college days—back when the pair of you were strictly friends and nothing more, and he would talk to you about girls he thought were cute. It feels a little bit like right now. Yoongi and Jieun do make a good team, they get along together, and have formed a closeness within such a short period of time that anyone passing by the studio would assume they’ve been friends for years. Or, even further, that they were dating. At the very least, Yoongi speaks highly enough of Jieun that one could assume that she was the one he liked, and not you.

It feels a little bit like being left behind—it’s a thought that only continues to fester.

It takes a few more weeks, but you eventually draft up Yoongi’s tour schedule. It’s a few sheets of paper that detail the duration of the tour, the cities, the locations, the dates of each location, the size of the venue, how ticket distribution will work, on, and on, and on—all information that Yoongi has insisted on knowing about ever since he was signed into KSJ Records. The man just likes to know what his fans have to go through in order to see him, and you respect that.

However, before you can officially create the tour post that’ll be up on the KSJ Records social media account, it needs to go through a final approval: from Yoongi himself. And because he likes to take notes with paper and pen, like the old-fashioned songwriter he is, he’s asked you to print everything out for him.

This is what leads you to stand near the printer in your office, waiting for the last page to print and slide into your awaiting hands. Once all the pages come out, you flip through them to make sure that every city on the tour is accounted for. You turn back to your desk, collecting some magazines that have been stacked on top of your table.

Along with getting the setlist for the tour, Yoongi had also asked you to get a hold of some magazines and articles that provided reviews from his first tour. Something about wanting to read any critiques people might have had for his show.

You gather the small stack as well before sliding it into your bag and stepping out into the hall. It’s surprisingly early for you to be leaving your office, the late afternoon, but there’s a part of you that just wants to give the document stack to Yoongi and dip out for the rest of the night. By now, the doubts of Yoongi’s affection for Jieun has dug itself deeper into your mind and letting yourself be around Yoongi for too long brings up too many questions that cannot be good for your mentality.

Questions like: If he could, would Yoongi prefer to date Jieun for real?

Was Jieun better than you?

And the best one of them all: Were you just holding Yoongi back from better relationships?

You continue to walk down the hallway of the building, your pace a little slower than normal because of the cloudy thoughts that threaten to overtake your mind. Finally, you stop outside of the studio you know Yoongi and Jieun are recording in. You take in a deep breath, forcing your usual cheery personality to shine through as you pull down on the handle and let yourself into the studio.

As soon as you step inside, you almost wish that you had just slid the documents under the door. The sight of that would probably have been easier to process than the one in front of your eyes right now.

Namjoon, as usual at the desk surrounded by music panels and laptops, playing the recently finished music through the recording booth situated on the other side of the glass. Behind this aforementioned sheet of glass are Jieun and Yoongi. With headphones on, they’re standing next to each other behind the microphone. Their shoulders practically touching, you don’t miss the way they both keep sneaking glances at each other, the corner of their lips turning up, looking like they’re having the best time together.

You try not to slam down the door behind you, but your grip on the knob is a little too harsh to call for a softer click. Fortunately (or unfortunately, given how much fun Yoongi and Jieun look like they’re having—wait, did Jieun just touch Yoongi’s arm), neither of them notice your arrival.

Namjoon, however, notices.

He turns around to look at you. “Hey, what’s up?”

You try for a smile, your hand brushing against the door. “Sorry, I slipped a little,” You lie cleanly. You hold up the documents in your other hand. “Yoongi wanted me to prepare a few things for him, stuff for the upcoming tour.”

Namjoon gestures for you to sit next to him, something that you follow. As soon as you sit down, Namjoon asks to see these aforementioned documents, which you pull out of your bag and hand over to him. It’s quiet between the two of you, the only sounds being the laughs and giggles between Yoongi and Jieun—as if one has them as just told a secret only understood between them. It’s a feeling that doesn’t settle well in your stomach.

“Wow, this is very efficient,” Namjoon observes, seeming completely oblivious to your internal seething.

You shrug, eyes still locked in on the inside of the recording booth. “Yoongi asked for the best, so I gave him the best. Hey, so—!” You change topics. “Is there a reason they’re in the booth together? Don’t a lot of collabs nowadays just exchange everything virtually?”

Namjoon hums. “I didn’t know the jealous girlfriend was a full time act of yours now.” He’s clearly just trying to have fun. After all, only Taehyung and Jungkook know about your crush on Yoongi. “But honestly? I’m not too sure. They just wanted to go in together—said that they could be more personal when working in a face-to-face setting. And they’re actually making a lot of changes as they keep going through the song and hearing how the music is turning out. They’re a good team.”

Namjoon’s usage of the very same phrase that has been haunting you for the past few weeks doesn’t sit well in your stomach.

Namjoon returns the documents to you. “Did you want to talk to him now? See if he’s cool with you just dropping it off?”

You nod. “If that’s okay?”

Namjoon smiles. “We’ll just wait until they take a breath.”

Waiting doesn’t turn out to take a long time, because Jieun stops the song to make another statement about what line should replace the one they just sung. And Yoongi looks at her like she’s just hung up all the stars in the galaxy.

“Namjoon, do you mind starting the song over? We got a new idea for this part,” Jieun calls from inside the booth.

Namjoon leans forward to press the button. “Actually, you guys have some company.”

You lean forward as well. “Hey guys.”

Jieun grins, waving at you through the window. Yoongi acknowledges you as well, but there’s something suddenly stiff about his movements. You notice that he’s also stepping away from Jieun, as if to hide what has been going on between him and Jieun. As if that makes you feel any fucking better.

“Hey, uh, Yoongi?” You continue. “I have the documents you asked me to prepare for you. I can just leave it here for you to go over if that’s cool. Maybe take a little bit of time today to go over everything.”

Yoongi thinks about this for a moment. “Actually… honey,” He adds the pet name as an afterthought. “Do you mind dropping it off at my apartment? We’re probably just gonna be focusing on the song until pretty late tonight.”

The acknowledgement Yoongi has that he and Jieun are in for another late night only grows the seeds of doubt in your mind, as you clench your teeth. You can’t let your insecurities get the best of you. Not now. “Sure,” You manage, trying for a small.

Yoongi grins. “Thanks baby. I’ll make it up to you this weekend, okay?”

At this point, it just feels like he’s teasing you and it’s something you find you aren’t really in the mood for. So you manage a curt reply, giving a positive response that you’ll drop by his apartment to deliver the documents regarding his upcoming tour, before you’re up and out of the studio before Jieun, Yoongi, or Namjoon can say one last thing. But you don’t care. The sooner you’re out of there, looking at the heart-eye festival between Jieun and Yoongi, the better you feel.

So you take the train to Yoongi’s apartment, a now much bigger space in a slightly nicer area of the city. At least, nicer than the college apartment he shared with Jungkook that was no stranger to bed bugs and constant maintenance issues. The newer apartment Yoongi has recently acquired is nicer, has more modern finishes, and is now a space he fills in all by himself.

As you unlock the door to his apartment, you immediately make your way down the small hallway entrance, where a mirror and his shoes occupy a small corner of the area. The hallway opens up into the living room, and you turn on the light and take in the vaguely familiar sight of his new furniture—home pieces that you helped arrange with him a few months ago. Come to think of it, that was probably the first and last time you had come by Yoongi’s apartment. Before certain life elements got involved.

Tonguing the inside of your cheek, you plop yourself down on the couch and place the document stack at the corner of the coffee table. It looks rather strange just stacked like that, no context provided, so your eyes shift over for a pen and a post-it note.

You find a stack of post-it notes, and find a pen sticking out from inside a notebook. Paying little attention to the notebook, you just make a grab for the pen and rip it out of the notebook with the aggression of a gorilla. The notebook flies open, the contents inside barring itself right at you.

Your immediate reaction is to close the notebook. After all, it just takes one glance at Yoongi’s scrambled handwriting to know that this is one of his writing journals. His most recent one, in fact, judging from how flat the pages after the one currently open appear—like it hasn’t been stained with a pen yet.

You want to close it—you really do. You and Yoongi have built a friendship on trust. That’s what kept you both together throughout the long years, and you know better than to risk everything just for the chance to scope through what is essentially a songwriter’s diary.

Your fingers inch towards the edge of the book, about to close it shut, before the title at the top header makes you freeze.

MY SECRET

Without meaning to, your eyes read over the lines. And you feel sick to your stomach.

The song is so raw, so personal, brimming with desire in every verse. It covers lingering stares, secret smiles. A barrier. How Yoongi “wants you more and more with each day, but I know I can’t have you, that I shouldn’t have you”. And you know Yoongi—you know him better than anyone. You know that for all the love songs he sings and the topics he sings about that he feigns ignorance for, he draws on personal experience to write his music. How else could he make everything so personable?

How could this song not be about Jieun?

The lingering stares, secret smiles: it clearly points to the events in the recording booth you saw earlier that day, and if he’s writing a song about it, it’s obvious that today hadn’t been the first time for those stares and smiles.

The barrier: obviously you. The relationship facade he’s forced to put up with you, when he’s clearly so much happier with someone else.

With those factors, it’s so clear that Yoongi would want Jieun, but would be unable to have her.

And you’re just the girl in the background with the starry eyes for a guy who would never even look at you the way you want him to.

That realization brings the hot tears to your eyes, as you slam the notebook shut and bring your hand to your mouth, biting your finger to muffle your sobs. What comes out is the build-up of months of insecurities, of having to keep the biggest secret of your life to yourself, and the additional jealousy brought in by a third party.

This despair and sadness isn’t good for you, and you know that only continuing to hide it away in light of Yoongi and Jieun’s partnership, in light of your feelings, and Yoongi’s exploding career—you should only be able to handle so much. You’re a human being, and you have your limits.

And you think this might be it.

CHAPTER 6: TRUTHS

“Y-Yeah, I think it’s food poisoning or something,” You speak quietly into the phone, playing with the edges of your blanket. “I’m really sorry, Seokjin, I’ll try to send out some emails to respond to news outlets today…”

“Hey, no, you’re totally fine,” Seokjin replies hastily. “I don’t blame you for that. Just try and get some rest today, and update me on how you feel tomorrow.” A pause. “What was it?”

“Uh, it must have been in the takeout I got last night.” That’s a lie. You cooked your own dinner last night, and are lying straight through your teeth regarding your condition, but you can’t find it in yourself to go to work today. Not since the discovery of Yoongi’s crush on Jieun made you want to dig yourself into a hole and never crawl out.

It’s not like you ever thought you had a chance with Yoongi—but you had just thought maybe something would be different after the hand holding, after his radio interview, after your kiss together.

But Jieun serves as that nice splash of reality that Yoongi wants someone better than you. Someone more like him—someone passionate about music, who gets along with him better, who can write music with and write music about.

At this point, it just feels like you’re a weight, dragging Yoongi down in the waves of his past.

On the other side of the phone, Seokjin sighs. “Damn, that’s always the worst. Those are the ones you suspect the least. Anyways, I’ll let you go. Get some rest. Maybe I’ll let Yoongi know so he can bring some soup.”

The mention of Yoongi makes you feel like you could actually get food poisoning. “You can let him know, but he’ll probably be too hung up on Jieun to give a shit.”

Seokjin, of course, knows nothing, so he laughs at what he thinks is your joke. “That’s true. They’re actually at it again today, which is surprising considering Jieun only comes by a few times a week. But no, she was here bright and early and so was Yoongi. Basically, they showed up to the studio at the same time. They called it fate, or some shit like that.”

“You don’t say,” You return dryly.

Namjoon’s confirmation that they make a good team, paired with Seokjin’s admittance that Yoongi is hung up on Jieun, puts you in a delicate mood for the rest of the day. You try to watch some TV shows, some movies, play some video games, but you are constantly distracted by thoughts of Yoongi and Jieun.

You’re all curled up on the couch, about to click into another movie, when there’s a knock on your door. Your heart leaps in your throat as you stand up. You hate the brief flicker of hope in your chest, the curiosity that perhaps Yoongi is the one knocking.

All those hopes are dashed when you see it is Jungkook on the other side of the door.

“Oh,” You remark, the smile dropping from your face. “It’s just you.”

Jungkook looks at you like you pissed in his cereal. “Uh, I don’t see other amazing friends over here bringing you store-bought chicken soup because they heard you got food poisoning last night.” He holds up the bag for extra emphasis.

You roll your eyes, grabbing the bag from him. “I don’t actually have food poisoning, I just didn’t want to go to work today.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at your statement. There’s a lot you’ve given him that he can work with, lots of things he can ask about. Maybe ask why you would lie about your food poisoning, maybe ask why you didn’t want to go to work today, maybe ask why you still looked like shit.

But the first thing he says: “You owe me twenty dollars.”

You roll your eyes, beckoning him inside with the jerk of your head. “Sure.”

Jungkook laughs a little. “Wait, okay, I was actually kidding.” But he still steps into your apartment. “I’ll be serious now. Why lie about food poisoning? And since when do you not want to go to work? If anything, you love to go so you can stare at Yoongi’s ass through the recording booth—!” He cuts himself off when you give him a glare of such pure hatred that it actually shocks him. “Wait, are you mad at Yoongi?”

You tear your gaze away from him, placing the bag of groceries on your countertop. Sorting through what Jungkook has bought serves to be a good distraction.

Jungkook continues to look at you. He’s quiet, but he always has a lot to say, and since you’ve been his friend for so long that only heightens his need to talk. “I knew it!” He finally says. “I knew you were mad at him. Taehyung and I were placing bets down.”

You slam the can of chicken soup on the counter. “HEY. What did I say about gossiping?”

“Not in front of your face?”

Your hand flinches, as if to stop yourself from grabbing the can and throwing it at his stupid face. Jungkook doesn’t even move in fear, the bastard. “I’m just gonna pretend I don’t know about the bets. You want a can of chicken soup?”

Jungkook confirmation finds you at the stove, heating up two of the many cans Jungkook had bought for you. Included in his twenty-dollar purchase had been a few containers of tums, and some orange juice.

Jungkook lingers in the back. “You wanna tell me why you’re mad at Yoongi?”

You whirl around to face him. “How did you even know I was upset?”

Jungkook snorts, but quiets down when you glare at him. He coughs. “You’re pretty easy to read, you know. You’ve been acting weird ever since Jieun started coming by the studio.”

“Weird how?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re just a little quieter. And you haven’t been spending as much time in the studio as you used to. That was the biggest giveaway.”

You’re quiet for a moment. You rub at your cheek. “Does Yoongi know?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Doubtful. But I think he knows something is up. I was on the phone with him last night.”

It’s your turn to snort. “Okay, that’s really fucking funny.” At Jungkook’s raised eyebrow, you explain. “I thought he’d be too busy comparing Jieun to sunlight, or something, to notice me.”

“Oh, so you’re jealous.”

You and Jungkook have a staring contest, before you sigh. “I accidentally saw Yoongi’s writing notebook yesterday. It had all these love confessions in it, and I’m pretty sure he was talking about Jieun.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “No way? Are you sure?”

You cough. “Well, I’m not a hundred percent. But it was all about this forbidden crush he couldn’t act on because of a barrier. Who else could be the barrier? He obviously thinks I’m holding him back from pursuing a relationship with Jieun.” You think about your words for a second, trying to decide if Jungkook is trustworthy enough to disclose this information to. “I think I’m gonna break it off with him. Maybe quit too, while I’m at it.”

Jungkook’s lips part. “But why?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” You cry. “I can’t keep up this fake dating with Yoongi anymore, it’s too complicated, and I’m actually in love with him so that opens up this whole other series of complications. And it’s not fair to Yoongi—he shouldn’t have to deal with feelings he obviously doesn’t return. The whole charade thing just isn’t doing me any good. And even if I break off the relationship, I would still have to see him all the time because of the whole manager situation. Quitting just seems like the best option for me.”

Jungkook is quiet for a second. “How do you even know he wrote that song about Jieun?” He finally asks, speaking carefully.

You shrug. “I don’t know. I just have this feeling. Who else has he been spending all this time with? Who else could that song possibly be about?”

Jungkook gives you a long, hard look, like he almost can’t believe your brain can be thinking those thoughts. But he relents. “I think you should talk to Yoongi before quitting. He’s one of your best friends. He deserves to know why, at least.” He looks over your shoulder. “The chicken soup is done.”

You whirl back around to turn off the stove. But also so Jungkook can’t see the tears glassing over your eyes.

It turns out, telling Yoongi you want to quit is a much more difficult task than you could have thought. For starters, Seokjin sets the pair of you up on more dates than before. Apparently, there are some rumors going around regarding Jieun’s more and more frequent turn-ups at KSJ Records, and people have started connecting the dots that her appearances are tied to either one of two reasons. Either Yoongi and Jieun are collaborating on music. Or they’re dating.

The second reason is a lot juicier, much more exciting, so naturally a lot of people have gravitated towards supporting that reason. To try and expel those thoughts, Seokjin sends you out on more dates with Yoongi. It’s all fine, but your thoughts about breaking off this relationship and quitting just makes you more quiet and closed off as you wallow deeper into your thoughts.

You suddenly don’t know how to contribute to the conversations Yoongi tries to bring up to you. The words seem to fail you every time, and you feel yourself constantly resorting to silence or one-worded answers. And it constantly always feels like Yoongi is standing too close to you. Every step towards you is a step away from him. When he tries to hold your hand on the sixth date in two weeks, you wiggle out of his grasp and pretend that you need to fix your jacket.

Your own journey to self-destruction means that you are completely oblivious to the hurt in Yoongi’s eyes with every step you take to distance yourself from him. But what could you even say to him?

How could you tell him you want to quit your job in public? That would obviously lead to a fight, and it would reflect badly on Yoongi’s public image. Just because you want to quit doesn’t mean you still care about him, because you do. And you still want him to succeed. With Seokjin’s constant scheduling of dates, it leaves little room for you to share in an actual private discussion. The only off times Yoongi has are the days Jieun comes by the studio, and you try to stay a mile away from that place now.

But it turns out, you don’t have a choice today, because Seokjin calls you into his office and tells you to drop off the samples of cover art that has just been dropped off at the studio. The cover art is something that Jieun and Yoongi have designed together for the album, to be displayed when the single is released.

With heavy feet, you make your way through the hallways and towards Yoongi’s studio space. Every fiber in your being hopes that Yoongi and Jieun will be in the recording booth, working on their song (or even better, just not in the studio at all), so that you don’t have to face them enjoying each other’s company right in front of your face. There’s no music coming through the door, so your heart soars that latter prospect.

As you open the door, however, you realize that there’s no way for you to be so lucky.

Inside, Yoongi and Jieun are eating lunch, takeout noodles split between the two of them, and they’re in the middle of laughing. The laughter, however, stops when you open the door, effectively interrupting their fucking date. Which is a thought that does nothing to make you feel better. The silence that echoes on only further makes you feel like shit.

You and Yoongi sharing a room privately nowadays is a rarity, since you’ve been doing a good job at avoiding him at all costs. His unanswered text messages and shortened calls echo through your mind at the sight of him. With the look he’s giving you, you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing.

Jieun, however, remains completely oblivious to the situation as she gives you her normally bright cheery greeting. You stare at you, momentarily stunned. You would have thought Yoongi shared the troubles of your relationship with her, for some reason. You try to remain nice about it, though, giving Jieun a small smile as you return her greeting.

“I, uh,” You start, bringing the package up for both of them to see. “Your cover art came in today. Seokjin just asked if I could drop it off here.”

Jieun brightens at the sight. “Oh my gosh, it came! Do you mind if I…?” She trails off, hands reaching out to take the package from you. You give it to her. “Yoongi, isn’t that so exciting?”

“Yeah…” Yoongi trails off. A quick glance at him tells you that he’s staring at you. You look away. “Did you see it yet?” He asks you.

You shrug. “I, uh, haven’t. But, anyways, I have to get going.”

“Hey,” Jieun calls, freezing you slightly in your path. “Thanks for bringing this over. We really appreciate it.”

We?

The use of that specific noun, while supposedly harmless in the current context, makes your stomach flare with that white hot curl of jealousy. Your teeth clench, as you swallow down the spiteful words that almost manage to escape into the air around you. You smile, no teeth. “You’re welcome.” That’s the only thing you can manage before you’re turning around to open the door and practically bolt yourself out of the studio.

You only make it a few feet before the door to the studio opens and you hear footsteps trailing after you. He calls your name, and your heart drops. You are so not ready for any type of one-on-one conversation with Yoongi right now.

But your entire soul still gravitates toward him, so you stop and turn around to face him.

Yoongi is by himself this time, and looking like a mixture of confused and defeated as he approaches you. “Listen,” He starts. “I know that we haven’t had a lot of time to really talk…”

“It’s okay,” You brush off.

Yoongi says your name again. “You know, you don’t need to lie to me. You’re my best friend—I can tell when you’re hiding something from me.”

You sigh, shaking your head as every nerve in your body is telling you to walk away. “Yoongi, I’m not sure I can do this right now.”

“Do what?” He presses. “I know that I’ve been super busy, but if you want to talk you can just let me know. Tell me what’s bothering you, okay? Because I…” He trails off, sighing, and you feel that vague sense of guilt wash over you. “I can tell that you’re avoiding me and it’s really shitty. I can’t even focus that much on my song with Jieun.”

The mention of Jieun stiffens you up again. “Well, sorry for being an inconvenience,” You spit. “Why don’t you go back to your new fucking girlfriend if you’re gonna bring her up to my face again.” You couldn’t stop yourself this time—the words were too ready at your lips. Your chest is heaving from it too, but it is things that you know that you will regret saying.

Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow deeper together as your words.

You stare right back at him, the shadow of a thought passing over you. If you’re going to tell Yoongi your biggest secret, it might as well be right now. You don’t know the next time you will be this brave, this reactive, this bold.

Both of you open your mouths at the same time.

“Did you just call Jieun my girlfriend?”

“I’m quitting.”

You clamp your mouth shut. You hadn’t meant to speak at the same time as him. A small wave of regret passes through you, as you hope that Yoongi wouldn’t have heard your statement over his question. But of course he does.

Yoongi’s frowns at you. “Did you just say you were quitting?”

You take a step back, running a hand through your hair as your exhale comes out shaky. More shaky than you intended it to. Oh no. “Yeah,” You manage, already feeling your emotions bottling up. “I was gonna try and talk to Seokjin about quitting before I left.”

If Yoongi thinks you were joking before, he definitely doesn’t now because he takes a step towards you and catches your wrist before you can go that far. “B-But why?” His eyes have gotten a little wider, and he’s staring at you like his world is being pulled apart.

You try to tug your wrist away to no avail. Your mind tries to flash through several different excuses, but you realize that you need to tell him the truth. Yoongi deserves that much, at least.

As you try to collect your thoughts, Yoongi starts scrambling. “W-Was it something I did?” He asks quickly. “Because normally you’d always try to call me out and I’d fix myself immediately. A-Are you unhappy with your position? Because I can try to get Seokjin to give you less workload or something. I-I’m really sorry if it was something that I did to hurt you. I-I just really need you here so talk to me… please…”

You shake your head. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” You whisper. “I know your secret, Yoongi, and that’s why I can’t do this anymore.”

“W-What secret?” His eyes are still on you.

You take in another breath. “I went over to your apartment that night,” You start. “And I saw what you were writing in your journal. I know that you’re in love with Jieun, and that you only see me as a barrier to pursuing a relationship with her. And that sucks because normally, I’d encourage you to go after her. But we’re doing this whole dating thing, and I feel like I’m neck-deep because…” Your words come out a little more shaky. “Because I’m in love with you,” You whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for years. B-But I know now that I’ll never measure up to Jieun, or any of the other girls in this industry who deserve you more than I do. I thought that I could keep being professional for you and your career. But it’s too hard for me.”

“W-Wait,” Yoongi says, tightening his grip on you. “Can you just let me explain, please? It’s not like that, I promise you.”

You rip your wrist from his hand. “I read it!” You retort loudly. “Who else could be the person you want more than anything, but can’t have because of a physical barrier? When else have you used a real person to inspire your music? It’s too hard for me, Yoongi! I can’t keep doing this!”

Yoongi seems to be struggling with his next words. “So, what?” Yoongi asks, circling around his next question carefully. “You’re just going to leave? Is this… the end of our friendship?”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know! I haven’t thought this out that far. But I know that we shouldn’t be doing this fake dating charade anymore, because I know there’s no way these past few months have meant the same to you as it did to me. I also know that I can’t really be in the same room with you right now.”

Yoongi hopelessly gazes over at you, his own chest heaving as he himself struggles with what to say. “Please don’t do this,” He returns softly.

Your gaze lingers on Yoongi’s for just a while longer, trying to burn the image of him in your mind, before you shake your head. “I’m sorry.”

As it turns out, Seokjin is out of the office for the rest of the evening. Which is fine, right? Whatever. You can just call him tomorrow morning and schedule a meeting with him, tell him the urgency of it and will definitely be able to muster your strength for another conversation about your secret feelings for Yoongi.

You return to your apartment and immediately burst into tears as the weight of today’s confrontation sinks its teeth right into your neck. You just shared your feelings with Yoongi, you threatened your employment, and almost cut off your friendship with Yoongi as a result of that.

Your many years of friendship, of late nights, of laughter together. It seems silly to want to cut off an important friendship just like that—but it just seems unfair of you to carry on with a friendship where you’re always going to crave more. And if Yoongi is smart, he’ll know that as well, and he won’t come back.

Still, a part of you just hopes a little. Even though, of course, it’s a stupid thing to hope for. Yoongi has already established his taste, and it’s definitely for people leagues above you. The thought only makes you cry a little harder, so much so that you try to drink some water in order to calm down.

You’re in the beginning stages of patting down your face, of grabbing some spoons to put into the freezer, when there’s a series of frantic knocking at your door. You turn your head towards the source of the noise, trying to figure out who could be visiting at a time like this. It’s been a few hours since your confrontation with Yoongi at the studio, but you assume that he’s probably blowing smoke up Jieun’s ass. There’s no way that it could be him.

So you open the door, and freeze when you realize that it is Yoongi.

More than that, it’s Yoongi with his chest heaving. Almost like he has just run around the entire city to reach you.

The only thing you can manage right now is a wide-eyed stare.

Yoongi stares right back at you. Just a few hours ago, he had looked so helpless and lost for words. A first, actually. But this time, he’s staring at you with so much intensity that you cannot look away.

Yoongi finally seems to catch his breath. “You’re an idiot,” He states.

You’re so caught off guard by that statement that you forget you’re supposed to be upset with him. “I’m sorry?” You ask.

Yoongi huffs, practically barreling past you to step into your house. You try to tell him to stop, but he’s distracted by rummaging through his backpack for something. With a sigh, you decide to close the door. As soon as he’s standing in your kitchen, he finds an old, beaten up notebook that you vaguely remember from his college days. He points at you with his notebook. “You’re an idiot,” He repeats. “If you think that the lyrics on my coffee table are the first time I’ve written lyrics about a specific person.”

At your shocked expression, he immediately starts flipping through the notebook. You notice that certain pages are marked with sticky tabs.

Yoongi settles on a page and clears his throat. “Hidden within the walls of our lecture hall, your laughter curls through the cracks like liquid fire. You light up my day amongst borrowed pencils and shared jokes. I knew that you were going to change my life,” he reads. He looks up at you. “The first day I met you, when I asked you to borrow a pencil.” You remember those lyrics. It was from a song he had written called ‘starlight’—the opening song on his first EP.

He flips through a few more pages. “I never learned about love, but I watch her believe in my dreams, take the same steps to join my team, and I feel like I could figure it out.” He looks at you. “When you agreed to help me with my Youtube channel.”

He continues through his notebooks of lyrics, of stories, of secrets. Every single lyric he reads to you connects back to some memory he holds of the two of you. All the memories together in college: from the panic attack he had in the bathroom of the first party the pair of you attended, to exploring the nearby cities via subway until early mornings, to corner ramen shops.

Soon enough, he moves on to the lyrics he had written during his first tour. The distance he felt, and how that related to the emotional distance he felt with you—that desire he constantly felt for more, and how the manager and artist relationship the pair of you had couldn’t hold a candle to the friendship you once held. The distance was never a physical challenge, and that was something you could never connect the dots on.

Every stone of his hidden affection is turned over, every lyric he has marked read over and explained with such a passion. It’s like he has waited years to finally have his turn, to finally speak the way he’s always wanted to—directly, with no tricks of music and whimsical arrangements to make you doubt everything he could say.

He had written whole songs about the fake dating experience, of how he wasn’t sure he could only pretend to love you when it was the only thing he ever knew how to do.

Finally, he flips to his most recent song. The very song that you had stumbled upon the other day in his apartment. “I want you more and more with each day, but I know I can’t have you, that I shouldn’t have you,” He reads. He looks up at you. “The barrier was the blanket of our fake relationship. You were never stopping me from doing anything, because you were the only thing I have ever wanted. So…” He gestures to all the notebooks that he has laid out across your kitchen counter. “Do you now see how many song lyrics are actually about you? All about you. Because you’re all I’ve always known.”

Your gaze carefully studies each notebook, layered over each other, overflowing with dedication and passion. The privacy of someone who has surprisingly spent his entire singing career sharing nothing but his darkest secrets. Your arms are overlapped with each other, tightening against your form. “I-I had no idea.”

Yoongi shakes his head, but when he looks at you, his eyes are soft. “I figured that.” He’s leaning across the counter to keep his gaze leveled with you, but he pushes himself even closer to tap a finger on the spot between your eyes. “I thought I made it so obvious. You were never listening.”

“I-I never thought to,” You admit softly. But Yoongi has a point. Ever since he started writing and sharing his original songs, he has done nothing but sing them to you in any and all forms. From the private sessions the pair of you shared in his college apartment, to the performances he would deliver on the street, in the recording booth at all hours of the day, to the tours and the audiences that sing those love declarations right back at you. For years, Yoongi has done nothing but give, and give, and give. And you had no idea.

Your breath hitches, and Yoongi rounds the counter and gathers your face in his hands. “Shh,” He coos softly. “It’s not your fault.”

You sniff. “It is my fault! I’m such a stupid bitch. And I treated you and Jieun like shit because I thought you were in love with her. I thought I was holding you back from being able to date who you really wanted to be with.”

Yoongi shrugs. “I mean, technically, you were.” At your look, he hastily goes to explain himself. “The person I really wanted to date was you. But since we were, uh, fake dating, that prevented me from being able to date you for real…”

You groan at his teasing grin. “You idiot, that was so bad.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Yoongi is still grinning though, tracing his thumb over your cheekbone. His eyes follow the movement, mentally outlining you into his mind. “I just wanted to see you smile.” His smile slips a little. “Since you had been ignoring me for so long.”

You pout. “I told you, I thought you were in love with Jieun. And honestly, that would make a lot of sense… she’s really pretty and talented and you guys could talk about music for hours, especially compared to me—!”

“Stop,” Yoongi cuts in, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m gonna stop you there before you say something I don’t like.” He angles his head to level his gaze with you. “Jieun is really cool, I’ll probably be the first one to admit that. But she’s not you. Hey, c’mon, look at me.” He forces you to look at him again. “You are also so, so pretty and smart and talented. You may not know a lot about music and songwriting, but you were always the one who pulled all-nighters with me to edit my videos, or learn music with me, or point out if something in my music didn’t sound right. Your passion to help is something I really love about you.”

You pursue your lips to hide your smile. “Love, huh?”

Yoongi doesn’t even hesitant. “Well, yeah, because I’m in love with you. I thought that was obvious.”

You exhale. “Yeah, well, it’s different hearing you say it outloud.”

Yoongi grins. “Well, hopefully you’ll get used to it. I have many years to make it up to you.” His smile dies down a little. “I’m sorry,” He finally settles with. “I should have been more straightforward and honest with you about my feelings. You must have been suffering for so long, having to keep it all in and everything.”

You shake your head. “I’m also sorry,” You whisper. “For jumping to conclusions so fast. And also not really listening to your lyrics. That was kind of stupid of me, considering I’m your manager and everything.”

Yoongi laughs. “It seems like you’re good now, seeing as you’ve just gotten an exclusive behind-the-scenes artist cut and commentary about his songs.” He pauses for a second. “So, I hope this means that you won’t quit being my manager. And that, maybe, we can promote our relationship from fake dates to real ones.”

You smile. “I’d like that.”

His smile turns softer. “And I was hoping that maybe I can kiss you again. For real, this time. No cameras, no Seokjin breathing down our necks.”

You giggle. “Just so you know, if the kiss at your album release party had been a real one and we were actually dating at the time, I probably would have wanted you to fuck me in the bathroom or something.”

Yoongi groans. “Don’t say that with that cute smile on your face. Makes me want to do things to you.”

“I don’t see you pulling away though.”

“Of course not.” Yoongi’s figure loams over you now, his lips brushing against yours. “I have three years to make up to you.”

With that, he kisses you, silencing whatever next words you were going to say. That is, if you even had any to begin with. Now that he’s kissing you, stealing the breath from your lungs, you’re not even too sure any thoughts have been floating around at all. Unlike the kiss at the album release party, which had been softer and dainty, held back to hide a secret, this kiss is rougher. Yoongi is already moving his lips against yours, already parting his lips to brush his tongue against your lower lips. His hands are already sliding across the counter, trying to cover you more and more.

His hand slips on the counter though, almost sending his sprawling on top of you. You catch him with your hand on his chest, as the sudden action makes both of you pull away from each other. The sight you both face is very much like the sight from the launch party: flushed cheeks and redden lips, a desire for more flickering behind eyes.

But this time, there is no expectation to carry on in a party like a long-term couple. That is what allows Yoongi to wrap his arms around you, pulling you to his chest this time. He kisses you again, slower, softer, but you deepen the kiss with the part of your own lips this time. There is an unspoken agreement between the two of you as he lifts you into his arms and blindly navigates through your apartment, into your bedroom, where you both fall atop the mattress.

“And just for the record,” You whisper, right when Yoongi pulls away to let both of you catch your breath. “I love you too.” You’ve already admitted your feelings earlier in the day, but it’s worth it to see Yoongi deliver that heart pounding gummy smile.

#btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #yoongi scenarios #yoongi scenario #yoongi fluff #yoongi x y/n #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #bts imagines #traci writes

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saladejin · 4 years

Text

Admire | 04

Seokjin x Fem!Reader | arranged marriage!au, husband!Seokjin | Strangers to lovers, angst, self discovery, loneliness in luxury, touch starvation (eventual smut), eventual domestic fluff

Summary: You’d never needed anyone else. Growing up alone, living alone, existing alone. It all came naturally and effortlessly, quite like breathing. That was until your somewhat distant parents finally decided it was time to make good on a promise. One they’d made before you were even born.

Warnings: Brief mentions of semi-absent parents

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Hey there, this is just a short chapter I decided to post as a bridge to the next part of the story-line. Hope you enjoy :)

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“I know that you’re living a different life now (Y/n), but you still can’t skip out on the annual summer road trip,” your mother’s voice chided. You held the phone away from your ear slightly to avoid bursting your own eardrums.

“But - am I just meant to go on my own and leave the house? The road trips aren’t exactly meant for…”

You trailed off with a weird strangled noise in your throat, knowing that saying ‘people like him’ would only sound bad. Seokjin looked up at the changing tone of your voice, eyeing you with an intense curiosity. There was no way he didn’t pick up that it was him you were referring to.

You had been sitting together at the dining table, feasting on an old-style Italian pasta dish you’d decided to whip up right before your mother called. It was one of the only times you two had actually eaten together since getting married, as you usually just ordered food whenever you were hungry or ate out somewhere his driver would take you.

You had just been shocked that the stoic man agreed to share what you’d made in the first place.

“He can come along, no worries. I’ve already told the guide that you’d be bringing your husband anyway, since I just assumed he’d go with you,” your mother said in a dismissive tone, seemingly distracted on the other end.

Shit, right. We’re meant to be in love.

“Okay, but it’s going to be pretty different to what we’ve been doing so far.” You sighed, thinking about all the high-class parties you’d attended in the last few months, twirling some pasta around your fork absent-mindedly. Seokjin was going to be way out of his element here.

“Then it’s settled, you leave in a couple of days. Remember the meeting spot?”

“Yes, Mum. Bye then.”

You hung up the phone and sunk back into the chair across from Seokjin, exchanging his look with one fizzling with tension. Not one of you had touched your food since you took the call.

“You going to tell me what that was about?” he hummed after eventually moving to swallow down the last of his meal with a satisfied sigh.

“Yeah, just trying to figure out how to tell you.”

He seemed a tad concerned, but didn’t push any further. You sat and brooded with your thoughts for another minute or so before running your hands slowly through your hair in exasperation. You could almost laugh at how strange this was going to be for him.

“Okay so we do this thing every year, although my parents don’t usually go, where our extended family and friends have a summer road trip out to the countryside and sometimes stop by the beach. It’s kind of like a break from the busy lives they all lead, and it’s … such a big difference from their wealthy lifestyles,” you explained, not catching any change in facial expression from the handsome man across from you.

“So … I used to tag along because like you just heard, my mother nags me to go, and the trips always turned out being not half bad. If anything, I enjoyed getting out and seeing the different ways of life the people there lived. It was a nice change of scenery too.”

You realized you were ranting and cleared your throat, pushing your half empty bowl away from you. Seokjin looked like he was pondering again, but you were already guessing the thought of a road trip probably put him off terribly.

“Look, my mother said you’d come along but no one’s going to force you. It’s just a getaway thing that lasts for a couple of weeks, I wouldn’t be gone for too long. Maybe you could attend a party or ball by yourself for once, it’d make everything much easier for you-”

“I’ll go.”

You blinked at him in shock, but he only gazed back with a spark of interest flashing in his dark eyes. The raw emotion was such a rarity for him that you had to blink again to snap out of the awed emotion that was now warming up your cheeks.

“You will?” you squeaked, hating how high your voice had pitched itself.

“Yeah, I don’t want life to get boring. I’ve never done something like this, so I’ll see how it goes,” he replied simply, a small smile resting on his lips as he took in your expression alighting with appreciation. Was he always this adventurous? Maybe deep down, there were sides to this man you had yet to discover.

“Well, we leave in a couple of days. I can tell the driver the meeting location and everything… uh, are you sure?”

“Yes, (Y/n).”

You got up from your seat and swept up your dishes, feeling an odd excitement flood your whole chest at the prospect of going on a retreat with Seokjin. Getting to spend some time with the man who was slowly but surely warming up to you was such a promising idea. Plus, lately you’d been wanting to get closer to him. Your need for pure company was becoming overwhelming.

You wanted your own husband to be the person you could turn to when you needed attention … but after giving it too much thought, you knew that there was no way he’d care enough to want to put up with that. It was borderline foolish of you.

“So, you didn’t really go on many holidays?” you probed quietly after rinsing the bowls. He’d shifted himself from the table to one of the kitchen stools to watch you work. You felt oddly comfortable under his searching gaze, even if you did look quite average in your tracksuit pants and simple white tee.

“If my father’s business trips count?” Seokjin snorted in dry humour. You could tell he was legitimately curious about the whole road trip thing, which was so baffling to you considering he’d barely tried to ask you about your life at all.

“Well, what did you do on those trips?”

You wiped your dripping hands on a dish cloth and sat across from him, only the sparkling white benchtop separating the two of you. You had been spending a fair amount time in this position during the past week or so, and it filled you with joy having these longer interactions with him whenever it happened.

“My father would take my brothers and I when we were younger to his workplaces. Teaching us his ways and getting us prepared for when we would take on jobs at the firm. My mother did her own thing, but would only talk to us about what we’d done that day. Maybe there was the occasional shopping trip for new clothes, but both parents were busy most of the time,” he said rather sourly.

Seokjin was obviously tired of having to spend so much of his life pleasing his own mother and father. You couldn’t have imagined how repetitive it all must have been, then again you didn’t really know what it was like spending time with your own parents in the first place.

“Can you tell me what you used to do, then?” he asked suddenly. You raised your eyebrows in disbelief, because he was asking about you, but then you felt bad for painting him in such a bad light. He wasn’t a terrible person; he just hadn’t engaged this much before. That’s why you were taken so off guard when he looked at you straight in the eyes and asked you the question so calmly.

“Um, yeah of course.” You smiled as the feeling of warmth enveloped your very soul, “So… since I never went on business travels with my parents, the only form of a holiday I ever experienced were these trips. They helped me relax and took my mind away from everything.”

You breathed out deeply at the memory of the countryside breeze, and the feeling of the piping hot beach sand crunching underneath your toes. You could only imagine the feeling of the sun’s rays kissing your skin as Seokjin watched in a mildly fascinated state.

“We’d travel as a large group in separate motorhomes – by the way we’ll most likely get one to ourselves – and stop in many small towns along the way. We’d go on walks and find lovely spots to eat lunch, and we’d visit special lookouts along with other cool cultural sites. The best thing was when you got the day to just venture through the place on your own, doing whatever you wanted and exploring the country.”

You unclasped your hands and let your voice die in your throat, not wanting to subject the man to more of your wistful reminiscing. He was hearing all about memories you held close to your heart, because throughout your school years the travelling was what’d kept your mind relaxed and stress-free.

“Sounds like it’ll be interesting for me. You said we’ll be given a motorhome, so we’re the ones driving?” he questioned quietly, almost as if he didn’t expect you to cut yourself off so soon.

“Yeah, I grew up with that brand of vehicle so I can do most of the driving. I’ve got my license,” you assured, barely stifling a giggle as you recalled memories of learning how to drive a motorhome for the first time.

“We can take turns,” he replied shortly, raising a strong eyebrow at you as if daring you to challenge him. You nodded in a slight daze of shock.

So you can drive too, huh.

You never would have guessed, after knowing that the handsome man had been chauffeured around basically his whole life. What need would he even have for a driver’s license?

“Well, I’m going to bed. I’ll start packing for this trip, just let me know if I need anything else,” Seokjin announced with a grunt as he slid off the chair and made his way around the bench to stand before you. He was dressed pretty casually as well, with a light blue button-up shirt hanging over grey trousers, but he still looked so unfairly tasteful.

“The only thing I’ll really say is just bring casual, but comfortable clothes. Oh, and a hat or cap if you have one,” you said, feeling giddy with anticipation for the holiday already. He nodded to acknowledge the advice, resting his weight onto one foot and pursing his thick lips as he thought about if he did, in fact, own a hat.

“Goodnight then,” you spoke after feeling something strange wash over you. This random urge to show him how elated you truly were. Your steps were bouncy and full of life, similar to the fitful pounding of your heart that felt full to the brim.

You stepped forward and placed your hands upon his crossed arms, then stood on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his smooth cheek. He didn’t jerk away or tell you off, just stood rigidly still for a few seconds before leaving the room to head to bed. It was only after he was gone that it finally hit you.

No way… did I just do that? Did I actually just freaking do that?

Your face erupted into a fiery crimson blush and you almost slammed your head down into the benchtop below you. All the couple-like actions you both performed at the parties must have made themselves a habit of yours, and since you’d been feeling so happy the desire to kiss him just leapt out.

“Idiot, oh my God,” you whimpered to yourself, busying your hands by cleaning the rest of the kitchen in a hurry. The fact that he hadn’t said a single thing scared you. Did he hate it? Or did he like it, or did he just not care? There was no way of knowing!

You scurried off to your room and heard the door shut behind you a little louder than normal. Your embarrassment was flowing thickly through your veins at this point. You just needed to bury your head under the covers and forget that the whole thing happened.

It wouldn’t take long for him to forget, right?

#seokjin x reader #seokjin scenarios #seokjin smut #seokjin imagines #seokjin series #jin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #arranged marriage au #husband jin #bts jin #bts smut #jin angst #admire #saladejin

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that-shamrock-vibe · 4 years

Text

Movie Review: The New Mutants (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the week following the movie first airing in the U.K, so if you haven’t yet seen The New Mutants do not read on until you have.

General Reaction:

A three year delay for the final instalment of a twenty-year franchise, was it ultimately worth it? Well as an X-Men fanatic I am always going to say yes, it wasn’t a swan song or a wrap up to the X-Men Cinematic Universe, far from as it was originally pitched as the start of a trilogy and does sew the seeds for that. However, while Dark Phoenix did feel like a sombre instalment not only for that “First Class” timeline but also the team movies as a whole, this had an air of sadness to it because this is the last time I will see anything X-Men related on the big screen for who knows how long.

In that sense, this was an emotional movie for me, more than just the fact that the emotion of fear is a running theme through the movie. However, in terms of my actual enjoyment of the movie, it was a very good movie for what it was.

When your very final movie is effectively an origin movie then there’s always going to be that sense of incompleteness, and what this movie teases both for these characters and who is the big bad behind all of this, it’s really frustrating to know it’s over before it truly starts.

With that in mind, The New Mutants is very slow to get started as there’s a lot of exposition and because it feels like it’s own branch of the X-Men Cinematic Franchise, similar to Deadpool, there is a level of “Beginner’s Guide to Mutants 101″ at play here with the explanation of what a Mutant is and when a young or “New Mutant” first discovers their powers that, to give this movie credit, I have never truly seen explored properly outside of the comics other than a quick explanation from Storm to Jubilee in the first episode of X-Men: The Animated Series.

It’s also disappointing to know that unlike X-Men: The Last Stand or Dark Phoenix, there isn’t a sense of finality for these characters as we have just been introduced to them. Outside of Sunspot who has briefly appeared in X-Men: Days of Future Past, this is the first cinematic appearance for all of these characters. The X-Men are briefly mentioned and Professor X is alluded to quite cleverly but every character outside of Sunspot is debuting here and to know they’re never going to be seen in this continuity again with a chance to develop is very sad.

In terms of the “horror” aspects of this movie I have to say this is very comic-book horror as in how Blade in the late 90s was horror. If you know the jump scares in this movie are coming then there are no jump scares, so basically if you’ve seen the trailers you know the jump scares.

As a horror movie, it felt very much like It-lite in terms of the theme of bringing nightmares into reality, only without the hard R-rating of the blood and gore because outside of one maybe two scenes there is nothing truly horrific to look at here.

There’s also a great parallel to the Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer shown from their episode in this movie and the Smiley Men who are Illyana’s nightmare brought to life. They’re creepy like them but they’re not as sinister as them...and that is a great choice of wording considering who the big bad behind the scenes of this movie is.

As an X-Men movie, which is what this is as the New Mutants in the comics are basically younger versions of the X-Men, as I say the first half of this movie isn’t that power heavy but is about introducing and establishing this team, the second half/last third on the other hand is power heavy. Not exactly Days of Future Past or Apocalypse heavy but still heavy for the powers this group of Mutants have.

Overall generally as both an X-Men movie and a comic-book movie, this was really a great movie particularly for the first new movie I have seen since lockdown.

Characters:

So this breakdown will be easy as there’s only really six characters to talk about but I’m going to make it a seven-character breakdown as the looming presence in the shadows of this movie deserves their own section.

Illyana Rasputin:

Alright so it is somewhat difficult to say if Illyana is my favourite or if Rahne is my favourite but I ultimately landed on Illyana for first as Anya Taylor-Joy is really in the spotlight the entire way through this movie. Every time she’s in a scene she commands the attention, and all five of the New Mutants have solo scenes so for Illyana to stand out the most, this is why she is #1 for me.

I’m not entirely sure where this movie takes place in terms of the overall X-Men timeline...but considering it’s supposedly in the revised timeline and Colossus is a member of the X-Men in the late noughties/early 2010s, I imagine this is either around the same time or can even be modern day (2017 or 2020).

Anya Taylor-Joy is as suited to the role of Magik as Channing Tatum would have been as Gambit in my opinion. Not only does she have a reasonable Russian accent but she just simply looks like how Magik looks in the comics.

I loved the rebel teen angst she had all the way through from when we first meet her to the very end, not only is it fitting for the movie but in my opinion it’s fitting for the character. This is a girl that literally goes through some resemblance of hell and is effectively a serial killer so of course she is going to have this icy dark exterior.

In terms of powers, I am slightly disappointed she never fully armoured up, it was always just her left arm that she had armoured complete with Soulsword, whereas in the comics her main look is her entire body. I guess the argument could be made the majority of it is simply a uniform and her arm is the only part armoured but I would have liked to have at least seen her crown.

But Magik’s powers for me here are an interesting combination of Zatanna and Nightcrawler which is a very good combination. The scene where she first appears through limbo fighting the Smiley Men was very impressive.

I would have also enjoyed it if we had spent more time in Limbo, given that we always saw cameo flashes of it whenever she manifested a portal, but we never actually had a full scene of her in her “special place”.

Not being too familiar with the comics however, I am almost completely unaware of Lockheed as a character. My only prior knowledge is his appearance in Pryde of the X-Men as a pest and I have to say I much prefer him here. The animation of both Lockheed and the Demon Bear were stellar.

As I say, I feel we have only just scratched the surface with where this version of Magik could go. I doubt very much Kevin Feige would bring Anya Taylor-Joy back if/when he does bring the character into the MCU because he doesn’t like playing with used toys but if ever there was an exception I would hope it would be her.

Rahne Sinclair:

It is slightly obvious to think of when Maisie Williams was filming for this movie as her hair, unless it’s a wig, is in that “Arry” phase of her Game of Thrones tenure.

Because of the current entertainment climate and the non-starting stance this movie finds itself released in, I think the lesbian romance between Rahne and Dani is going to go unnoticed. But considering this is the first major LGBT romance in a comic-book property I feel this movie will be cheated out of that representation in favour of what is to eventually come from Marvel.

Outside of the romance, I feel Rahne’s story rooted in her religion and mutation was fantastic. I love me some werewolf action and I feel I saw enough actual wolf to satisfy Rahne spending most of her time in “halfway form” as the character has been known to do in the comics.

The fact her nightmare was that religious leader branding her as a werewolf and thereby a monster, not only was it believable given her character but also the parallels to devout religious views on homosexuality were subtle but there.

I do feel the character spent way too much time screaming towards the end of the movie. This girl is a werewolf but spent most of the final battle as the screaming protector of her unconscious lover, I mean she was I guess helpful in waking Dani back up but never truly let rip like I feel the character could have.

I’m not entirely sure if Williams has any Scottish heritage about her but the slipping in and out of the accent was slightly distracting at times. When she was able to be loud the accent was often broken but in her quieter moments or longer dialogue scenes you could hear it.

I do appreciate keeping the nationality of the character from the comics, considering the mess they made of Banshee and Moira MacTaggert, and I do understand having an at the time name talent like Maisie Williams in the role, but there are surely Scottish actresses out there and the casting pool wasn’t exactly high for this movie.

Dani:

The main character in this movie, or focal character I guess as it’s an ensemble movie, is either Illyana or Dani, but because we start with Dani and are introduced to the other characters through Dani I guess she is the focal character.

Again, I give credit to the movie for keeping the nationality of the characters from the comics, but while Anya Taylor-Joy and Maisie Williams border on appropriation as they are not Russian or Scottish themselves, although Anya is of Scottish Argentine descent, Blu Hunt is at least Native-American as Dani is. I think they come from different tribes but I don’t think people are going to focus too much on that technicality.

Similarly to all these characters I don’t really know much about Dani so have no frame of reference to compare her to. I remember she appeared in one episode of X-Men: Evolution and I know her powers involve dreams, which similarly to the majority of the characters in this movie lends itself beautifully to a horror movie, but that’s about it.

I felt her relationship with Rahne was genuine and her own “survivors guilt” over being the only member of her family still alive after the Demon Bear attack was well explained.

I just didn’t understand why it was decided that Reyes had to kill Dani because of the severity of her powers, maybe it was the unpredictability of her powers because their limitations are literally the power of imagination, but I thought Reyes was responsible for sorting out those capable of being killers...surely the power to bring nightmares to life as many times as it takes to kill the person qualifies?

With the Demon Bear being tamed at the end of the movie, I kind of don’t see anywhere for Dani to go if they did continue, she still has the power to solidify nightmares, and I guess she can always call on the Demon Bear, but unlike Rahne or Magik I do not see any further development for her.

Sam:

Sam Guthrie aka Cannonball was an interesting one for me as I knew the character and I knew the actor, but hadn’t properly seen either one fully explored before. I have not watched Stranger Things so do not really know Charlie Heaton’s acting potential...but what I do know is he is from Yorkshire and cannot really do a Kentucky accent.

As for the character of Cannonball, I thought that early scene of him strapping himself to that weight while zooming through the air to either test himself or hurt himself was really well realised. There wasn’t enough of him going full cannonball throughout the movie, mostly it just came across as a sort of super speed which in a way I guess it is but projecting that force-field while he is zooming about is what makes the power set unique.

Similarly to Dani he had guilt over his nightmare which was him causing a mining accident which killed his co-workers and dad, but unlike Dani who never really developed the thought of it being her fault for her family’s death because of her conjuring the Demon Bear, Sam did at least hold a lot of guilt over what had happened...despite his nightmare being probably the weakest as the main effect it had was totalling a washing machine.

I also didn’t understand the back-to-back scenes of Sam suggesting he was meant to be in the hospital and felt he had to be there, but then in the next scene him trying to walk out saying he doesn’t belong there. Maybe it was the editing but it just seemed like a complete 180 from scenes that were literally back-to-back.

Roberto:

As I said this is Sunspot’s second cinematic appearance and I guess in the revised timeline he has gone from being portrayed by Mexican actor Adan Canto to now Brazilian actor Henry Zaga.

I didn’t feel the boys in this movie had that much to do, with both Sam and Berto it did feel like them simply coming to terms with their powers. I did like how both had that fear of hurting people and both had to learn I guess to push past that fear.

With Berto’s fear though, I do feel his power first manifesting in conjunction to him reaching sexual maturity was very well explored, because of course the combination of testosterone and becoming a living solar flare are not exactly two things anyone wants to mix. So when the result is burning your girlfriend to a crisp it is going to shake you.

Outside of his powers though there wasn’t a lot to the character and it is hard to remember a good line that he or Sam had that weren’t douchey, but for what we got he was a good character.

Reyes:

Wow this woman deserved to be eaten by the Demon Bear, which by the way I found almost as humorous as Katie McGrath being carried away by a pterodactyl in Jurassic World.

But yes, this doctor was the “villain” of the movie as she was the agent of the big bad Essex Corporation in charge of determining the new mutants’ powers and whether or not they’re worth progressing to their facility.

Outside of that I didn’t really think much of her as a character, she wasn’t a sympathetic character, she wasn’t believing to be doing this for the benefit of these young mutants, she was simply following orders.

It’s a deviance from the comics where Reyes is a hero and member of the X-Men, whereas here she is far from it.

Alice Braga is also regionally appropriately cast as she is Brazilian whereas the character is Puerto Rican, although whenever she spoke I kept thinking about Gal Gadot a lot, even looks wise there are similarities.

Sinister:

Now let’s talk about the looming big bad who I imagine would have been the major big bad of this supposed trilogy. Despite the new mutants believing the facility to be owned and run by the X-Men, it is in fact run by the Essex Corporation...Essex as in Dr. Nathaniel Essex, a biologist obsessed with evolution who became the Mutate supervillain Mister Sinister.

I want to see Mister Sinister in a live-action movie so badly it’s unreal, they’ve done Apocalypse so why they can’t do Sinister I don’t know.

This isn’t the first time Sinister has been alluded to as the Essex Corporation was in an end credits scene of X-Men: Apocalypse that acquired samples of Wolverine’s blood presumably to create X-23, but because those events took place in the 80s and these events take place in somewhat modern day it’s hard to correlate the two.

Obviously we are no longer going to get X-Men movies in this universe and continuity, but with the seeds being sown for Sinister more than once now, the baton has been laid down for Feige to finally bring this villain to life.

Reccomendation:

If like me you are more or less interested in just completing the twenty-year franchise because you love these characters and any interpretation of them then this is the movie for you. However, don’t expect wall to wall action, and I would recommend not getting too attached to these characters. It’s too late for me with Illyana I already love her and already feel Anya Taylor-Joy has set a high bar for whoever plays Magik next.

But for me personally, this franchise has been my favourite movie franchise and my favourite property. Even the bad movies I can at least find something good about them regardless of if the overall movies have been good or not. But just to reiterate, I do feel this is one of the good movies.

In a ranking of the 13 movies (not counting Once Upon a Deadpool), this ranks somewhere between #6-8 for me.

Overall I rate the movie a solid 8/10, by no means the best or a perfect X-Men movie but by no means one of the worst. The movie benefits from new characters (aside from Sunspot) but suffers due to the inevitability of this being the definitive end for the current franchise.

So what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.

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devotionthatcorrupts · 3 years

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samdeanjess for that thingy !

when or if I started shipping it.

I hadn't even considered it until reading the infamous body swap fic. x. (<---- here it is in case anyone wants to read it) but since it brought together the two relationship dynamics I like to explore the most within the show it is now one of my favorite "what if?" relationships.

my thoughts:

I just think that they're incredibly well balanced as a hypothetical dynamic. It's been established that Jess, at least physically reminds Sam of Dean and since we don't have that much of an established personality for her within canon there's a lot of room to work with whether they share personality similarities as well. Dean is attracted to Jess and I don't think it would be much of a stretch to think that in the event that Jess lived and went on the road to learn how to hunt they would have a level of chemistry. They both are protective and possessive of Sam and Sam loves them both for different, but equally heartfelt reasons and I think that would cause friction that could lead to some really interesting relationship dynamics.

My personal headcanon is that Jess is also a special child and her and Sam are able to support each other through their psychic awakening in a way that Dean wasn't able to support Sam. I also think that Jess would want them to get along/supports Sam having healthy relationships with his family. I don't want to make her the therapist of the group but I think Sam and Dean have never had an outsider observe their dynamic and that she would be able to help them communicate. I also think that Jess and Dean would be best of friends and the idea of them going on hunts together and goofing around while Sam stays back to do research is very charming to me. It's such a vast creative playground imagining how her presence in their life would change events as she is the catalyst for why Sam leaves and stays gone.

What makes me happy about them:

The idea of Dean begrudgingly accepting her into their group because he doesn't want to share Sam but eventually letting up and buying her the brand of chips she always gets and paying attention to which side of the bed she sleeps on. I think that she would be family to him in a really tangible way because she's family to Sam and was the person who took care of him while he was away at college. I think after a few months on the road together they would all get really physically comfortable with each other. I imagine them sprawled out on motel beds while Jess and Dean talk about their favorite black and white westerns as Sam fondly smiles at them over his laptop screen. I think that Jess is already a good shot and Dean sometimes pulls her into a jumping hug when she knocks four bottles off a ledge and blows out the smoke.

I think that Jess is kind to Sam in ways that Dean wishes he could be kind to Sam and that Jess eventually is able to get him to open up to a lot of the way's that Sam has changed or grown as person. I think that Jess makes them treat life a little more like an opportunity then a duty. She plans field trips and gets them to stop at landmarks that they've passed by that she hasn't seen. I am a believer in artist Jess so Dean will surprise her with art supplies and canvas and Sam will take pictures of buildings and nature that she can use as reference photos. Jess sometimes will stay back from a hunt to let the brothers have time together so she can work on a painting or a sketch. She'll draw silly little doodles of them and tape them on the dashboard and they all get lovingly tossed into the glove box to be saved. I just see them operating as a strange "room for one more" type of family.

What makes me sad about them:

I think that Dean would struggle with the fact that the existence of Jess means that him and Sam are never going to be travel on their own again. (I do think that Jess once she was proficient enough as a hunter would go on solo trips or visit her family again. I think that the road life isn't for everyone and she not only would want stability but see that Dean and Sam need to spend time together on their own.) I think that there would be a lot of conflict in the beginning because Dean is bad at expressing his feelings and Jess doesn't really understand the world she's getting into or necessarily the people she's now working alongside. I also think that Jess would react with a lot of pain finding that Sam hid this entire world from her and that their first few weeks would be difficult as they talked that out. They aren't really a sad relationship to me and I don't really create AUs with the intention of angst so they're very much my indulgent "everyone lives, everything is fixed" trio.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

There is so little fanfic for these three but probably pettily that the authors idea of Jess don't align with my idea for her. That's inevitable when there's so little known about a character but I have such a particular idea of her in my head that I'll be reading and be like "the Jess I created from literally nothing would never do that."

Things I look for in fanfic:

JESS AND DEAN ARE BEST FRIENDS. Jess and Dean having a good relationship outside of Sam is like, absolutely crucial or else it doesn't work and I'm not having fun.

My kinks:

Sam being like "the two people I love most are in a room together" and Jess and Dean just staring at each other intimately aware of how much tension is happening behind the scenes. I actually have such vanilla headcanons for them because most of my idea of them is like, cuddling together and just forming a weird family unit. I do think that Jess being the one that realizes that there is tension between her and Dean as well as between Dean and Sam and being the person who orchestrates everything crashing together is ideal.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I actually would love to write something about Jess/Dean if Sam was the one who died in the fire (like a reverse AU where Jess is the chosen one and Sam's only role is to introduce her to the supernatural via his death) and Jess forces Dean to tell him everything and to let him join her on his quest for revenge. I don't think they would necessarily be happy, but I think that they are the only two people in the world besides John that really "knew" Sam and they would spend a lot of time mourning him and sharing the versions of him they knew and like, sad fucking in the back of the impala.

My happily ever after for them: them on the road being a hunter trio driving off into the sunset and Jess eventually getting them to settle down and having the peace and rest that they deserve.

#mailbox #samjessdean #MY FAVORITES THANK U FOR ASKING #literally the blueprint #I had so much fun answering this.....they are the moment

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sterek-bingo · 4 years

Photo

Greetings everyone, it's finally time to announce this year's themes!! We're sorry for the delay, but here they are!

Childhood friends- A trope that could easily be one of the fluffiest or one of the angstiest- not to mention anything and everything in between- this AU asks you to imagine how Derek and Stiles may have formed their relationship if they had known eachother as kids, ofcourse it doesn't have to be strictly AU, it isn't impossible that they knew eachother as kids to some extent!

Nightclub- Ah nightclubs, from The Jungle to The Bronze to The Scratching Post to Le Bon Nuit, it seems like every teen show has a popular town nightclub, and though you don't have to use the ones that have appeared in Teen Wolf, as long as there's music, dancing, and teenagers, you're probably good to go!

Pirate- Argh matey! Are you ready for high stakes and high seas? For treasure hunting, sword fighting, and answering the calls of sirens and merfolk? Then climb on aboard, for it's a pirate's life for us!

Rivals- The best thing about rivalry is that it can happen with anything! Sports, academics, baking, rival Alphas, rival covens, rival love interests.... or love interests who are rivals, wich is exactly what we're going for here!

Neighbors- And then they were neighbors... one of the most popular tropes in history, it's time to put Stiles and Derek in a neighboring situation! Apartments, condos, houses- AUs, canon compliant, canon divergent- fluffy, angsty, rom-commy, it doesn't matter the details, this trope can work for any plot!

Medieval- The days of kings and queens, knights and dragons, action and adventure, it's time to go back in time to place our favorite duo in the middle ages! ...Or you could always just place them at Medevil Times too!

Fake relationship- One of the most popular tropes, fake relationships can come about via all sorts of plots, from A/B/O to fluff to office AUs to even canon, and the best part of fake relationships? Watching them become REAL relationships!

Mistaken identity- An especially good theme for humor, "mistaken identity" can span quite a few different plot types, plot twists, and

Pride- From LGBTQ+ pride to pride in eachother to werewolf pride to pride as a sin, this theme is quite versatile and can either be seen as something to be celebrated or condemned depending on how it's portrayed

AI- Artificial Intellegence has been a hot topic of conversation as well as fiction over the past few years, and now it's time to Sterek-fy it! There are so many possibilities- Scientist? Mechanic? Engineer? Are AIs evil? Are Stiles and Derek AIs? All that matters is that artificial intellegence is included!

Arranged Marriage- Be it for politics, for status, or just for the sake of trying to find that special someone when no one seems to be working out, arranged marriage is an age-old plot that's been around probably as long as fanfiction has, if not longer!

Matchmaking- Here's a theme that's quite versatile, as you can either have Stiles and Derek as the matchmakers or as the match being made! From fluff to A/B/O to romcoms or even angst, this is a theme that really branches out over genres!

Full shift werewolves- One of my favorite thing about Teen Wolf, full-shift werewolves provide interesting additions to the lore, excellent plot material, and perhaps best of all... a REALLY nice aesthetic!

Self-Defense- Be it taking a self-defense class, killing in self defense, or defending against a bully, there are plenty of ways to turn this theme into something fun and unique

De-aged- What happens in fanfic... clearly doesn't stay in fanfic considering this trope made it all the way to being part of canon, but that's more than fine, it just give us more material to work with if you ask me!

Penpal- Be it writing to eachother or writing to someone else, be it online or through mail, in a modern AU or one taking place in the past, penpals are a great form of communication and some truly magnificent romantic plots can stem from this theme!

Wedding- Is there anything more romantic than a wedding? That depends on who you ask, but one thing is certain, it's definitely a fun theme! It could be Stiles and Derek's wedding, or it could be just one that they're attending, all that matters for this theme is that a wedding is involved in some context

Seasons- Spring, summer, fall, and winter, the four seasons often make for great themes, and now you have the choice to use any one you want- or several! You could even go for something that involves all four of them, whatever you create, it's sure to be a thing of natural beauty!

Baking- No matter if you have a sweet tooth, or are a bigger fan of savory goods like garlic bread, everyone loves a good baked good, and now is your chance to explore what kind Stiles and Derek love most! This is an especially good opportunity for fluff and the more light-hearted creations, though it certainly doesn't have to be

Petnames- From classics like "honey" and "sweetie" to the stranger sort like "creature" and "Wolfy McFlufferson", petnames are affectionate, fun, and definitely good material to work with, especially with Stiles who has a petname for everyone, although maybe that just makes it even more fun for Derek to use them for once....

Madness- We’re all mad here... madness, insanity, a loss of the mind, they’re all the same thing, and have all been frequently featured in Teen Wolf, no matter if you take inspiration from one of the many instances of madness from canon or create something brand new, your work is sure to be maddeningly good

Insomnia- Insomnia is another frequent theme in canon, and it’s something that Stiles experiences often, you can play upon that in your work, or perhaps give Derek the sleepless nights, or even get creative and use the theme of insomnia for someone else and in some other way, we just hope creating for it won’t keep you up at night

Reconnection- Stiles and Derek have a series-long history of playing into the old romantic trope of spending a fair deal of time apart before reconnecting in a dramatic reunion, and now is your chance to add onto that history! Ofcourse it doesn’t have to be the lovebirds that reconnect, you can go wild with any ideas you want to use, just so long as Stiles and Derek remain the focus

Travel- Roadtrips, train rides, and international flights, what could be simultaneously more romantic and absolutely irritating than travel? There are dozens of possibilities just for the method, not to mention the reasoning, so the diversity of this one will really be a blast to play with!

Hollywood- Ah Hollywood, the city of shining stars and twinkling lights, and, atleast for the purpose of this theme, Stiles and Derek! Now is your chance to run wild with the glitz and glamor of the film capital of the world!

Mad science- From Frankenstein to Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, from bringing people back to life to creating experimental drugs, there are alot of ways to use “mad science” as a theme, is it dark? Is it crazy? Is it evil? Or is it something... else? There’s no way to do this one wrong!

Fashion- Arguably one of the biggest categories of fandom, fashion can be whatever you want it to be! Show staples like Derek’s leather jacket and Stiles’ plaid, dressing to the nines in suits and tuxes, playing with gender non-conformity with heels and skirts, or just going wild with whatever else you feel like, even a fashion disaster can work for this theme!

Overworked- A feeling that’s overcoming most people these days, being overworked is something I’m sure neither of our favorite boys are strangers to, now it’s up to you, will you give them a break? Or choose to keep working them into angst? It’s up to you!

Ice- Ice ice baby! Be it ice skating, ice on the road, ice powers, or even just ice cubes, there are alot of things you can do with this cool theme and we look forward to all of them!

Turning- Stiles is a blank slate for supernaturalism, and that makes him a perfect person to use for this theme (though obviously using Derek is just as acceptable) but what does he turn into? A werewolf? A vampire? An abominable snowman? We can’t wait to find out!

Wild card- This is the obligatory bingo square in the very middle where you can do absolutely anything you want! That’s right. There’s no restriction, no guideline, no THEME! It’s your freebie to do anything you may have been wanting to do, but haven’t really had the time or inspiration to do until now- here’s your chance. Now go forth and create Sterek!

#sterek #sterek bingo #sterek bingo 2020 #sterekbingo #stiles x derek

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bokutoslittlebird · 3 years

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CHEERS TO ABOVERSE IM STILL CONFUSED BUT I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ABOVERSE

IM ON A BREAK SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT at least my version of it. Many authors who write for Omegaverse have different styles of writing it and often will make it more complex or simple, depending.

A/B/O (Omegaverse) dynamics under the cut because uh... this is gonna be long

So first off, we have the rankings:

Alpha, which are the top of food chain, theoretically speaking, and are able to impregnate anyone. “But what about females?” Yes! Female alphas have a penis, like male alphas. Now, some authors will change it up. I’ve read some where the female alpha will still have the normal female genitalia, but has a penis that can pop out of the vagina? It was weird explanation, but that’s the gist. I’ve also read it where the female alpha is born with male genitalia, so only a penis. They could also have both, it is really up to the author’s wishes. Alphas have cycles of prime breeding which is referred to as a rut.

Betas are considered the normal class, they’re the middle men. Betas do not have cycles but they do have a scent. Male betas can get female betas and omegas pregnant, and alphas and male betas can get female betas pregnant. This means female betas go through their normal menustration cycles.

Omegas are the last class rank. They are the baby makers and can get pregnant regardless of their gender. So, male omegas. They also have a prime breeding cycle which is referred to as a heat (which is very similar, in my opinion, to a normal female’s estrus period). The equivalent for this in female betas is ovulation. Now, omegas can have babies, but how do you do that if you’re male? Well, some male omegas will have female genitalia, or they go through a c-section. Some authors write it with the baby coming out of the butt. It’s weird, but it’s creative expression, no strict laws of Omegaverse. Some male omegas will have the normal male genitalia, the penis and ballsack. These are useless, however.

Now, I headcanon that there is an extra level to both omegas and alphas. Some people have the abo dynamics interacting to create alpha/beta genes or beta/alpha genes (yes, there’s a difference). I add a level to alphas, so they’re a cut above the rest. This would include, but not be limited to, Enji Todoroki (BNHA), Iwaizumi Hajime (HQ!!), and Bokuto Kōtarō (HQ!!). These alphas above alphas would be deemed “Apex Alphas”. I have seen this term used before, I just can’t remember which blog I follow (or followed) used it, so please let me know if anyone knows where the term was coined; same with the omegas. An omegas extra level is a “Fecund Omega”, and these are highly submissive, housewife-esque omegas. These can include, do not come at me for this, Yachi Hitoka (HQ!!), Rei Todoroki (BNHA), and Oikawa Goshiki Tsutomu (HQ!!). Why them? Because I feel like they just are. Of course, they can be whatever you headcanon them as. Jesus fuck i hc Oikawa As a bottom and an omega but I know a lot of people don’t see that so it’s personal opinion.

If you’ve gotten this far, you’re probably still caught on that whole “scent” thing. If you’re not, that’s okay. You’re still gonna read this. Scents are distinguishing smells that each alpha, beta, and omega carry. An alpha’s pheromones are stronger and overpower an omega’s and beta’s. Betas, while they have scents, cannot actually smell the distinguishing scent (See BokuAka: Threesome, Kinktober day 13 for an example). Omegas have scents which are often more feminine, usually referred to as being “sweet” or “floral”. There is nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t mean an omegas scent has to be feminine. An alpha’s/omega’s scent increases and gets heavier with their rut/heat cycle. Fan fictions set in school setting are usually introducing a set of guidelines for this: either the alpha/omega is forced to stay home during their cycle, or some kind of suppressors are put in place. I’ve seen medicine used, scent-blocking collars, as well as a “special perfume/cologne” (it was only in one fic and it was on Wattpad, so not common).

Alphas and omegas also tend to fall to their instincts more often than not. It isn’t a common theme, but I feel like it would fit properly. Maybe if an apex alpha gets a whiff of an omega about to enter a heat cycle, that alpha will then become obsessed with that omega, perhaps even howling (the idea of Bokuto howling at a Reader who accidentally entered a heat cycle gets me hot dont @ me).

Onto intercourse aka sex! So, alphas have what is called a knot. It is used to plug up their mate (which is their s/o) full of their cum, yummy! Jk The knot itself will inflate as the session goes on, and is quite painful for the receiving partner. Due to this, some authors will write it so a knot is only used during a rut or heat cycle. I do them regardless because, well, I like it. Also, alphas will be adamant about not being submissive or on the receiving end due to instincts, and vice versa for omegas. Their instincts come first when it comes to their cycles, definitely, but in general as well. Knotting also faces a problem, aside from the stretch: the inflation lock. The knot acts as a plug, yes? So, the alpha has to wait for their knot to deflate before detaching themselves from their partner. This can take a few moments, until the alpha has expended their seed and possibly until both parties breathe normally. I’ve also seen it where this can last up to 30 minutes, so get comfortable!

There is another aspect of sex with alphas, but is not necessarily only with sex (it will commonly be seen during intercourse, however). That is marking. I don’t mean writing a name on skin with a marker or branding their name into skin (even tho that’s hot), no. Biting down hard enough to draw blood, therefore leaving a mark? Yes. This lays claim to an omega or beta by an alpha and is a signal of a lasting relationship. Here’s where authors differ: how long the mark lasts. Some have the marks last forever, some only a week, some a month, some for years. It depends. When a mark starts to fade, it requires the alpha to once again claim their mate. This can also lead into angst material, as I’ve read one fic where the alpha marked an unmated omega and essentially ruined their life. Or, on a different note, having a mark that will last for months and having their mate die and soon, their mark fades too. Now, both omegas and alphas can mark their mates, it’s more commonly seen with alphas, though. Betas are not seen to mark their partners, but can be marked by an alpha or omega.

I briefly mentioned scenting, which is different from scents. Let me explain. Scents are what an individual has that is their distinguishable smell. This can vary from person to person, author to author. For example, I headcanon that Akaashi (HQ!!), regardless of rank, has a distinct spearmint and/or coffee smell, which is actually quite common for him. On the other side, I headcanon someone like Bokuto to smell like a pine forest, maybe even sandalwood? Something rustic, but other authors may see him smelling like a beach or even like smoke, due to his love of barbeque. The scents are completely versatile and can come from their hobbies, interests, or favorite food. For example, Sugawara’s scent could be spicy, like maybe it has a hint of Tabasco sauce or Buffalo sauce. Another indicator of scents, if they don’t have specific interests or a favorite food (looking at you, Osamu 👁👁), their scent can somehow relate to their personality. Like in the Suga headcanons, his omega had a spicy scent because of their chaotic, feral energy. Osamu would probably smell like a recently extinguished fire, or the air before a storm. Calm, quiet, but a warning. Scents get heavier with heats and ruts, of course, but they can also be amplified due to emotions. This is often seen in fics where an omega is upset and their alpha can tell and comfort them. Or, if you’re into angst, the beta cannot properly be there for their alpha/omega because they cannot smell their scent. (Yeah I went over this twice but it’s an important aspect of Omegaverse)

Scenting is different because, well, it’s a verb first off. So, an action. Scenting is usually what mates do to mark a claim. So, scents come from scent glands (I usually put them on the neck, as do other authors). Scenting is the action of rubbing their scent onto their mate/partner. Like I said previously, alpha’s scents overpower others, so if an alpha scents an omega, their scent could stay on the entire day. An omega’s scent doesn’t hold very long, but it’s faintly there. A beta cannot, in my little world, carry another’s scent. They have their own scents, but cannot be scented or be scenting anyone.

I think that’s everything lmao. Like I said, every author differs so this is basically my system of Omegaverse. A lot of people think Omegaverse is weird or just complicated and strange, but I see it as a way to explore, kind of? Like, if I wanna make this one character go absolutely feral, I make them an alpha or omega (see Kinktober piece, day 13, again lmao). There’s a lot of freedom when it comes down to it, since their is no strict rule or law about how it is to be written or produced. Not only that, it’s an AU that can be added onto anything, since it only really affects the genitalia and who can get pregnant, yknow? It’s also good as a society set up for gay ships, like BokuAka or IwaOi, having Akaashi and Oikawa being omegas while Bokuto and Iwaizumi are alphas. This is because same sex couples are still frowned upon in most countries, especially America (the south) and Japan. It also gives these gay ships a chance to have their own little offsprings together, which is downright adorable. I personally enjoy writing Omegaverse more than regular stuff because it adds an extra element to work with and don’t get me started on the whole predator-prey dynamic. Delicious 💦

#BB.Chirps #BB.asks #Omegaverse #omegaverse Haikyuu #I guess since that’s the bulk of the focus #anyways yeah I love Omegaverse #and I’m so glad my BokuAka x reader gets so much love

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cynicalrainbows · 4 years

Note

Favorites Six fanfics?

So there are SO many Six fics that I love, and so many authors too, so this could take a while... In no particular order:

Queenly Masks by Remeinhu is a really amazing exploration of the concept of autistic Cathy and adhd Anne. In general Remeinhu just writes fantastically amusing characterisation of the queens while also dealing with topics very sensitively so 10/10, definitely recommend. Also, their fic Love and Work should get a special mention bc I have no interest at all in read about sex in fics APART FROM WHEN THEY WRITE IT.

HMA64 is an author I've only started to see popping up quite recently but oh goodness did the Six fandom get lucky when they began writing! They also explore the autistic Cathy/adhd Anne concept really well. My particular favourite of theirs is The Choker Incident: they wrote this silly short concept I'd briefly mentioned so incredibly deeply and characterised the queens so well and it was just so very satisfying to read.

RatKingDad has written lots of excellent drabbles for tumblr but my favourite fic of his that has made it onto tumblr is Happy Death Day To You- it's such a fascinating exploration of how the queens deal with trauma, and it also doesn't hurt that he writes Soft Aragon so beautifully!

ExhaustedSunflower is another new-ish writer (at least to me) but I'm so pleased they're writing. Their series There is a reason for every little thing we do is so good that it's hard to pick just one fic but I think my especial favourite is Cracks in the Heart of Anne Boleyn, although their newest fic, Growing Pains, featuring a young Catalina, is so wonderfully original, it deserves a mention too.

Shut_up_heather3's fic She cares so much is her only fic but I have so much love for it: I've never been happier to have NOT written a fic myself because she's doing such a good job and I especially enjoy getting to have a hand in the creation of the original idea. I've said it before and I'll say it again: abusive Jane is an amazingly original concept and I think my favourite thing about this is how she's taken so many elements from Mum-Jane fics and sort of....twisted them. It's very effective.

I know LailaLiquorice doesn't write Six any more but I still go back and read her stuff when I'm sad, esp write like you're running out of time and everyone who loves me has died. Peak Sad Cathy hours!

2nerd4this basically has me squealing excitedly every time she posts something new because she tends towards the exact brand of Catalina-Cathy fluff that my soul craves. I think my favourite fic of hers, if I had to pick one, would be Mothers and Daughters, as a fantastic exploration of the Thomas Seymour issue....but her series The art of recovery is also excellent: really well thought out characterisation of the queens, all very thoughtful but soft too!

@the10amongstthese3s writes such lovely soft fluff ghibli-esque fics that are just innately comforting. My favourite of theirs, although again it's hard to pick, is You bring the Snow because it's such an adorable Christmas fic which involves Jane getting taken care of by the others for a change!

And last (but not least!) @moan-jeutas, who I really admire as a writer because she is just the absolute embodiment of the point of writing fanfiction: write what you enjoy, write to please yourself. Of her fics, I tends towards the fluffy stuff (because her fics are either the fluffiest fluff or the angstiest angst): Candy Crush, in which Bessie owns a small pet cow, is one I have an especial soft spot for. Also Skintight is excellent as an exploration of dermotillomania.

That’s just off the top of my head: i’m sure there are tons I missed out!

#they're all amazing and fantastic and you should read all their work and leave comments too!

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star-spangled-eyes · 4 years

Text

Forbidden: Part 2: Someone You Loved

This alternate universe fan fiction uses characters created and owned by Pixelberry Studios. Character names, descriptions and likenesses are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Some content in the first part are direct words from TRR Book 3, Chapter 16. The MC, Bragnae Bennett, and story is created and owned by this author.

Book: The Royal Romance (Alternate Universe)

Alternate Universe Theme: The Queen of Cordonia as an adulteress

Pairing: King Liam x MC / Drake Walker x MC (Bragnae Bennett – *pronounced Brawn-yah)

Warnings for this series: NSFW, Adult content, suggestive and strong language, heavy angst, drama of course, very steamy sex scenes in each part -- IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, DO NOT READ THIS SERIES. Also, if you do not like reading smut, especially mine, please do not read this series.

Series Description: Forbidden is an extremely steamy story that takes place in Cordonia picking up the night of Bragnae’s bachelorette party in Las Vegas. She accepted King Liam’s proposal, despite also being in love with Drake. But when Liam gives Bragnae permission to have one last fling before they’re hitched, she chooses Drake.

Even though Bragnae tells him their dalliance is for one night only, Drake can’t seem to let it go. Once they return to Cordonia and the King marries his betrothed, Drake convinces Bragnae to embrace the forbidden pleasure of being with him in addition to filling her role as queen – consequences be damned.

Master List

A/N: I definitely don’t condone cheating in a relationship, but I have to say this is more a love story, than a lust. And it is delicious! I’m just having fun with this fic (but don’t worry… drama will still ensue), and I hope you are too!

Warnings for this chapter: NSFW, Adult content, sex, angst, suggestive and strong language, (I’m amping up the sexual language in this series!)

Word Count for this chapter: 9408 – Sorry, not sorry. It all needed to be said.

Setting for this chapter: Bragnae and Liam have some fun on their honeymoon, and Drake copes with his decisions.

Permatags: @burnsoslow @cora-nova @dcbbw @thorfosterlove @emceesynonymroll @edgiestwinter @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @msjr0119 @notoriouscs @drakewalker04 @pedudley @desiree---1986 @choices-lurker @kingliam2019 @loveellamae @drakexnadira @flutistbyday2020 @indiana-jr

Series Tags: @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @silverofdreams @texaskitten30 @mskaneko @jemrmax2love @nomadics-stuff @queenjilian @yukinagato2012 @ravenpuff02 @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @moneyfordiamonds

Part 2: Someone You Loved

The first few days of their honeymoon went by in a blur. Leave it to the King of Cordonia to own his own private island. With only a few staff around to cook their meals and tidy up the villa, Bragnae and Liam were virtually alone. It was a refreshing change after the whirlwind that was her life once she stepped off the plane in Cordonia for the first time.

Getting a moment alone with Liam was more difficult than she would have liked, but she understood. First, she’d been competing for his hand with five other women. So, he had to be fair to share his time with them all. Next, he was engaged when he didn’t want to be, and Bragnae was branded as a harlot, so having Liam seen with her would have looked bad on him.

Once they were engaged, they had the freedom to be with each other more, but with Liam’s duties as King, Cordonia always comes first. Bragnae accepted that. She knew what to expect with him, but it didn’t make her want him any less. If anything, the moments they could be alone together were that much sweeter.

The honeymoon was a particularly special treat because it was truly just about them. In the days they spent on the island, their pleasure was of the utmost importance. A true honeymoon. They’d eat, have sex, sleep, wake up, have sex again, eat some more, and the cycle just repeated itself. Far from being an exhausting routine, they enjoyed every minute.

After they intimately explored every square inch of the villa, Liam took Bragnae out to discover the island leading to many impromptu erotic moments. In a quiet oasis towards the center of the island, Liam bent her over a downed tree, making her come hard twice while the wild birds scattered from her ear-piercing screams. They had also found a beautiful waterfall to make love under, letting the power of the water invoke many sensual and heightened orgasms.

As if Liam had placed it there himself, a large, smooth bolder sat in the shallows of the ocean, which was the perfect place to enjoy the silvery glow of the moon bouncing off the water while Liam pounded into her. The crashing waves lapping against their lower halves only enhanced the experience. With miles separating them from the nearest person, especially after the staff left the island for the night, Liam encouraged her not to hold back with her pleasured cries, and he made sure she didn’t.

Aside from the frequent, mind-blowing sex, Bragnae and Liam had grown even closer than they ever had before. There was actually time for them to talk about their interests, relax without any major distractions, and just be with each other. It was all she could ever hope for – the perfect honeymoon with her new husband, the King.

Bragnae finished getting ready for bed with a quick spritz of perfume. She looked at herself in the mirror, admiring the black and red negligee that hugged her curves. She knew it wouldn’t stay on long, and being naked made more sense, but the King liked a challenge.

Flipping off the bathroom light, she strolled back into the bedroom to see Liam sitting up in bed with a laptop resting on his thighs. His brow furrowed as his eyes scanned the screen. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and she hoped he was bare even under the sheets. She’d soon find out.

Bragnae got on the bed, and crawled seductively towards him, catching his attention. “How’s the kingdom, Your Majesty?” Her tone was flirty and playful in hopes to get his mind on her instead.

He smiled at her. “It’s running smoothly, although it looks like we’ll be a bit busy when we return.”

“Why do you say that?” She straddled his knees, and leaned over his computer letting her ample cleavage tease him. His eyes immediately shifted to her chest with an appreciative look.

His gaze returned to her eyes. “Well, for starters, we have to have your coronation. Since you married the king, you automatically fill the role as queen, but Cordonian tradition states that there must be a coronation for you to be officially considered a ruler of the country. It has to happen within a month of us getting married.”

“That sounds nice. I’m looking forward to it. What else?”

Liam sighed. “As soon as we get back, I have to go to Lythikos.” He ran a hand through his silky, blonde hair. “Olivia needs some help with something in her duchy. She’s being vague as to the details, but needs my assistance.”

“Can I go with you?”

“Normally, I’d say yes. But I want you to get settled in at the palace, and start getting to know your role as queen. There will be a lot for you to adjust to, I’m afraid.”

“What’s a queen without her king?” Her lips transformed into a sultry smirk.

“You make a valid point, but I won’t be gone too long. One night, maybe.” Her smirk faltered at the thought of not being with him. “Trust me, I don’t want to leave you either. We can make up for it now, and when I come back.”

Bragnae nodded assertively. “Fair enough. And speaking of now, what do you say we put the country’s needs aside, and focus on ours instead?” She slowly pushed the laptop closed, and put it on the bedside table, making it a point to hover over him in a sexy feline sort of way.

Liam grinned, using a finger to pull down her top for a better view. “I don’t even know why you’re wearing this. I’m just going to take it off of you anyway.”

She inched herself closer, still on all fours. “Maybe I wanted you to work for it.” Leaning forward, she slowly and barely brushed her lips against his before sitting back again.

“I will always make an effort to work for it when it comes to you.” Just then, Liam sat forward grabbing her by the waist, and pulled her on top of him like it was nothing.

“You’re so strong, Liam,” she said biting her lip. Flattening her hands onto his well-defined chest, she admired his physique. “You have such a sexy, toned body. I can’t get enough of it.”

“A king should be strong to defend his kingdom… and his queen.” Liam pushed the satin fabric above her hips before running the back of his hand across her pelvis.

Bragnae tingled at her core. No matter how many times they’d slept together, his touch always inspired such a reaction. Not to mention staring at the blonde Adonis sitting beneath her already made her wet and ready for him.

“Well, on behalf of the citizens of Cordonia, we want to thank you for every chiseled muscle on your body for the betterment of our country.” Her finger outlined his pectorals, dropping down to trace each of his defined abs as she spoke. Her hand slipped further down beneath the sheet to gently grip his already hardened cock.

A low groan rumbled in his throat. “That particular muscle is not for Cordonia. It’s only reserved for you.”

“Yes, but the citizens are rooting for me to have a very pleasurable honeymoon, and this,” she paused to peel back the sheets to expose his monumental erection, “plays a vital role in that.” Bragnae slowly stroked him, mesmerized by his mouth-watering dick.

She briefly wondered if all Cordonian men were as well-endowed as he was. A recent memory breached her mind of the other massive cock she encountered and who it belonged to, but she quickly pushed it away.

Liam smiled, shifting a bit under her touch. “The people are already rallying around you, huh? It makes sense. They, like me, want you to be completely satisfied.” He rolled her on her back, so she was underneath him. “Over and over and over again.”

His mouth crashed against hers, kissing her with everything he had. That was Liam – full of passion, devotion and eagerness to please her. She moaned as his hands moved down her body. He gripped her hips, and tugged her down the bed a bit before lifting her negligee up. Instead of removing it completely, he made it so the fabric both covered her eyes and restrained her arms. She was bound by her own outfit with her body bare and entirely at Liam’s mercy.

She squirmed a bit just to play along. Seeing nothing but darkness made her other senses spike, especially when Liam caressed her breasts, loving each one of her taut nipples with his tongue and a gentle tug of his teeth. Bragnae gasped, her breathing increased.

“God, Liam that feels so good.” A surge of heat rushed to her core as he loved her body.

After assuming he’d move south next, Liam surprised her by capturing her lips once more. “You ready to scream, my Queen?” He bit her lower lip, slowly dragging away from her before his mouth worked its way down her body.

Bragnae moaned deliciously. “You know that I am.” If there was an award given for ‘most skilled at oral sex’, King Liam would win it every time, hands down. He not only was exceptional at it, but he liked doing it as well – almost to the point of obsession. It was thrilling and unbearably hot. A man with such a skill should be afforded as many opportunities as he wanted to perform, and Bragnae would happily and shamelessly enable his pleasurable addiction anytime.

It didn’t matter what position he had her in – because it did vary, she would reach her climax hard and fast, and would soon be putty in his arms. Worthless to the world for at least two minutes, sometimes longer. He was that good. Thinking about it in more depth, it made sense that he excelled in this particular area.

Liam was charismatic, a well-spoken man, and he addressed the public on an almost daily basis. His tongue assisted him in speaking five different languages, negotiating with diplomats and other foreign leaders, and her most favorite, talking dirty to her. It was no wonder that when he flicked his tongue at just the right speed and pressure that she’d fall apart around him.

To add to the suspense of it all, he would always include an extra move that pleasantly surprised her whether that be using his hands to assist his skilled mouth, humming into her, or even biting. Yes – biting. Where she thought it might be too much for her sensitive skin, the way Liam did it made her toes curl. Whatever combination he decided to use never failed to elicit the same response in her – glass-shattering screams, soaked sheets, calling to God… it was all amazing.

Liam spread her legs wide, placing tender kisses on her inner thigh. Bragnae gasped as she felt him blow lightly on her hot, aching center. He chuckled at her reaction.

“I could stare at you like this all day. Spread eagle, your hot, wet pussy in my face, your beautiful breasts moving up and down along with your ragged breathing. You’re. A fucking. Work. Of art.” Liam punctuated each word with a lap of his tongue, making Bragnae writhe with anticipation.

As much as he enjoyed the act itself, it seemed he relished teasing her beforehand as well. She didn’t mind it because she knew what was coming – aside from herself, that was a given – and it was worth any wait she had to endure.

She smiled, exhaling a giggle that turned into a moan. “I wouldn’t mind this all day, but I’m pretty sure the country would need your attention sooner or later.”

“Such a pity.” Bragnae could feel his hot breath before his expert tongue grazed the soft skin between her southern lips. He always knew the right place to start.

Bragnae dreamily sank into the incredible and hastened strokes of his tongue, which he would use in all the cardinal directions as well as the occasional swirl. Her hips would have rolled with him if he hadn’t held her firmly in place.

Just as she felt the warmth start to build, Liam hummed as he licked, making her entire core vibrate. She pressed her head back against the mattress, tensing her body as the flood gates were about to open. His name left her lips in a breathy whisper as he helped to unleash the blissful fury she had expected.

Her body convulsed as her still restricted hands grasped at the pillows above her head. Liam kept up with his mission until her long screams subsided. An overwhelming sensation of pleasure, love and comfort filled her – almost as if she had floated out of her body and was left hovering on cloud nine.

She tasted herself on his lips as he kissed her, and removed the negligee so that it no longer held her captive. Her eyes fluttered open looking at her husband who wore a big, accomplished grin on his face.

“I love when you scream like that. Makes me so hard.” Liam winked at her before hopping off the bed.

Still in a euphoric state, Bragnae barely noticed as Liam tugged her towards the edge of the bed. He picked up one of her legs letting the other rest on the mattress, and stroked himself as he looked at her. Her gaze met his – those blue eyes dark as an ocean with desire.

“I’m going to be useless to you for another minute or so.” Still panting, she barely managed to speak.

He lined the tip of his engorged member to her, teasing her dripping wet entrance. “Hmmm, not completely useless. All you need to do is relax and moan like the goddess that you are.” He pushed himself inside her with ease prompting a throaty moan of agreement from Bragnae.

Leaning over, pumping slowly in and out of her, he smiled. “That’s it. How do you like my dick, Bragnae?”

All she could do was whimper from the wonderful feeling of him stretching her out.

“Tell me you like it,” he demanded in a low, hoarse voice. He increased his pace a little.

“I love it. I love when your big, hard dick is inside me.” What wasn’t to love about that?

“Such a dirty mouth you have,” he said chuckling before bending down to kiss her again. “And I love your tight, wet pussy.”

She smiled. “I remembered to do my Kegel exercises for you too, big boy.” As if to emphasize her point, she used her internal muscles to contract her walls around his cock, giving him a unique, sexy hug.

He smirked down at her. “I do appreciate that.”

“Harder, Liam.” He answered with a powerful thrust that she felt in her throat.

“How’s that?” He did it again. She hissed a sharp breath through gritted teeth.

“Good. Now, faster.”

He kept his eyes on hers as a determined look spread across his face. His abs flexed with each thrust he made into her, pounding at rapid speed. Her leg pressed against his chest as he held onto it with both hands, squeezing her thigh.

The position of her leg and the slight curve of his dick made for the perfect position for him to rub in just the right spot. She felt the hot pressure in her pelvis swiftly change to the promise of more.

“Liam, I’m close. Oh, my God. I’m so close.”

He moved his thumb over her clitoris, lightly rubbing as he kept up his pace. “Go on. Soak my dick, baby.”

The added stimulation sent her over the edge. Gripping the bed sheets with both hands, she squeezed her eyes shut, and became consumed with all that encompassed her sensual release. Seconds later, Liam set free his own climax draining himself into her.

Still nestled safely inside her, he leaned down again to kiss her. “I love you, Bragnae.”

“I love you too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Empty bottles that once contained alcohol and used glasses littered Drake’s otherwise tidy room. He laid in his bed, fully clothed, as rays from the sun shined on his face. This was the way he’d fallen asleep every night for the past week – drinking until he was good and drunk, and then passing out on his bed with the lights on. He felt a pounding headache throb at his temples that hadn’t seemed to go away since the night of wedding no matter how much whiskey he drank.

Of course, he knew the alcohol wasn’t making things better, but he didn’t care. He needed two things: to be comforted, and to forget. Since he didn’t have the woman he wanted to warm him with her touch, the whiskey sufficed. And because that particular woman was on her honeymoon, likely getting fucked in every position imaginable – and if he knew his friend, he wasn’t far off, he needed to get her out of his mind.

He had grown to realize that even after nearly drowning himself with all that he consumed in alcohol, it hadn’t been as reliable as he’d hoped. Still, through the mind-altering haze, he found himself thinking about Bragnae. There wasn’t an inch of her body he didn’t see in his mind, not a single detail of their dalliance that he didn’t obsess over.

Hoping to find some solace amidst the pain, he even tried to use the thoughts of her to inspire a release of his own built up sexual tension and strife, but knowing he couldn’t be with her took the thrill of the fantasy out of the equation. Frustrated, horny, sad, pissed off – this is what his life was now. He was already a bitter person, but somehow in the last week, he was able to dig down to a whole other level of disturbed.

He wanted nothing from life but Bragnae. Being with her made him happy, in ways he didn’t even know he could be. She challenged him, laughed at his sarcastic jokes, and went out of her way to make sure he was having a good time. They had bonded to the point of friends, which he didn’t expect at first.

But with his desire for her coupled with her reciprocating need for him, they had entered a new plane of existence between platonic friendship and romantic relationship, which was confusing as fuck. And because of his incessant need to put others before him, he missed his chance to be with her for good. He hadn’t even told her how much he loved her, and had loved her since the beginning.

A knock at the door startled him. It sounded as if a bomb had just gone off, making him cringe. There was a pause before another repetition of knocking came. He drew in a deep breath, heaving himself off the bed to stop the head-splitting noise.

On his way, he stumbled a bit, still feeling the effects of last night’s binge. He opened the door to see the small, but fierce Hana Lee looking up at him in surprise. Why the hell is she surprised to see me? This is my goddamn room.

“Drake, you look awful.” Her mouth had gaped open as her eyes raked over his disheveled appearance. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, so his dark stubble became more than that. His wrinkled clothes hadn’t been changed in a day, and his longer hair hadn’t seen a comb in twice that amount of time. Maybe he shouldn’t be so shocked that she had that reaction.

“Thanks. It reflects my mood. What do you want?” His voice was low and grumbly. When she pulled back, appearing to have been offended, he retraced his words. “I’m sorry. I have a headache. What can I do for you?” His eyelids felt heavy, probably from the lack of decent sleep he’d gotten, but also from the anguish that plagued him. He hoped she didn’t notice too much.

Hana placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I just came to tell you that Liam and Bragnae come back to the palace today. And I thought it’d be nice for us to be there to greet them when they arrive.” As soon as the happy couple was married, Hana stepped in as Bragnae’s Senior Lady-In-Waiting, and she took her role very seriously. “It looks like you could use some time to… freshen up. How about I grab you some coffee, and then you can do what you need to do?”

Hana also grew to be one of Drake’s few friends. She was sweet, caring, talented as hell, and could knock a guy’s block off if she wanted to – even if her confidence told her she couldn’t. Standing at just over five feet tall, he towered over her small frame at his own six and a half feet. She was half-Chinese, half-Cordonian – gorgeous. She’d make any man happy, any man that wasn’t already infatuated with someone else like he was.

He looked into her compassionate, brown eyes that pleaded with him to comply. He hadn’t wanted to leave his room today, except maybe to find something to eat, but he couldn’t say no. Plus, they were coming home today. It wouldn’t look good if Liam’s best friend wasn’t around to welcome him back.

“Sure, Hana. That’d be great. Give me twenty minutes, and I’ll meet you in the dining hall. And I take my coffee black.”

She nodded. “I’ll order some food for you as well. Twenty-minutes, Drake,” she said, pointing at him with a stern look.

He chuckled at her sudden assertiveness. “I promise. Thanks, Hana.”

“You’re welcome, my friend.” He closed the door as soon as she walked off.

Leaning against it, he sighed. Now, he had to do the impossible: prepare himself to face the woman he loved as she hung on the arm of another man. All the while, he had to look presentable as if her marriage to his best friend had not transformed his life, now wrought with despair.

An hour or so later, Drake had showered, shaved, and eaten a bigger breakfast than usual. Having a strict diet of whiskey over the past week would surely make a person ravenous. The coffee was strong, just how he liked it, and it gave him the energy he needed to brave the rest of the day. Maxwell and Bertrand had even come in from Ramsford to greet the King and Queen.

Hana had caught them all up with the day’s festivities. They’d have a dinner with the royal couple celebrating their return. Drake grumbled inward – all the royals did was throw parties, it didn’t matter the occasion. He tried to mask his bitterness, but felt like he was failing. His intention wasn’t to snub his best friend and his new wife, but the situation dictated a different response. He felt like an asshole.

His headache had gone away with the coffee and stomach full of food, so after everything was said at breakfast, he excused himself to go back to his room. He had a little over an hour before he was needed in the Grand Hall, so he took some time to clean up his room. The trashcan filled up quickly with the embarrassing amount of empty whiskey bottles. He made his bed, and picked up his floor.

Checking the clock, the cleaning had only taken thirty minutes of his time. He sighed, sitting on his bed, feeling antsy. Normally, when he hadn’t resorted to poisoning his liver with endless whiskey, he would go to the gym to exert his tension, stress or just for the fun of it.

He couldn’t do that now, there wasn’t enough time, and he’d have to shower again. He decided he’d go later. Late night work outs were nice to clear his head before bed, and he’d most likely need it after being forced to be in the same room as Bragnae.

He leaned back, thumbing through his phone. First through social media, then over to a game that could let him escape reality for a bit. His fingers twitched before moving to the other app. What he really wanted to do was look at the few saved pictures of Bragnae he had on his phone.

Some of them were some they took together over the engagement tour, when Liam was still betrothed to Madeleine, and the others were some he’d swiped from her social media. She had modeled in a photoshoot for a friend in New York once, and the second Drake discovered those photos, he was a goner. He’d incorporate them into the background of his phone had it been acceptable, but of course it wasn’t. Still the guy on the outside looking in, he had to hide his desire for her.

Luckily, the game had done its job, and it was time to head to the Grand Hall. Drake slipped his phone into his pocket, and left his room.

When he reached the meeting area, Hana, Maxwell and Bertrand were already in place along with many other servants and guards. Select members of the press too.

“You’re just in time. Their plane landed twenty minutes ago, so they should arrive any minute,” Hana told him. She looked happy, as she should, for their friends’ return. He wished he could be that happy.

Drake acknowledged her, and proceeded to cross his arms over his chest. After a few seconds, he realized the way he stood made him appear unapproachable, so he shook out his arms, and let them rest at his sides. He fidgeted a bit more, feeling uncomfortable.

Loud applause and cheering spread through the room as Liam and Bragnae strolled through the double doors. Camera flashes went off and the crowd swarmed them. Drake and the rest stood in the back allowing the media a chance for their questions and pictures before the palace guards would shoo them off.

After a few minutes, the crowd began to dissipate, and he could now see his friend, the King. Liam wore a polo and shorts, his aviator sunglasses hung on the V-neck of his shirt. He looked relaxed, care free. Why wouldn’t he? He just got to spend the week doing nothing accept his wife. Drake clenched his jaw at the thought.

Finally, the persistent media goons left, allowing Drake full access to look at the new queen. He dreaded this moment just as much as he craved it. No matter how much pain sat in his heart, not seeing Bragnae was worse than seeing her. He missed her – he wasn’t afraid to admit that. She had been such a big part of his life over the past several months, and being away from her for a week was excruciatingly difficult – obviously.

He drew in a sharp breath as he saw her face. She smiled brightly at those around her. Her skin looked tanner than usual, and her long, black hair was tousled in a breezy sort of way. She wore a strappy sundress that extended to the floor, and a long gold necklace, drawing his eye to her impeccable breasts. God, that dress looked great on her.

Drake felt stirrings of arousal hit him suddenly. He wanted to deny them, but they were relentless the more he looked at her. The high slit in her dress gave him all kinds of naughty ideas, and soon he was daydreaming about the things he’d love to do to her. He wasn’t even concerned with anyone else in the room. All that mattered was her.

Liam stepped up to Drake first before greeting the rest. “Hey, buddy. Things been well while we’ve been gone?” He pulled Drake into a bro-hug.

He cleared his throat. “As well as can be expected.” What can anyone expect of a man with a broken and lust-filled heart except that things were all they could be? Unchanging and depressing as fuck.

Liam clapped him on the shoulder. “Good to hear. Looking forward to catching up with you soon.” He quickly moved on to Hana and Maxwell sharing similar greetings.

Drake knew Bragnae was close just by the smell of her sweet perfume. Her scent was intoxicating, both graceful and seductive. It suited her. He watched her traipse over to him with a bright smile. It awakened his heart to see her looking at him like that.

“Your Majesty,” he said with a slight bow and straight face.

Bragnae lifted an eyebrow at him. “Come on, Drake. You don’t have to do that. ‘Bennett’ is just fine.”

“That’s no longer your name.” His responses seemed callous. He didn’t exactly plan on them coming out that way, but it did reflect his mood.

She scoffed. “Fine, Drake. Call me whatever you want.” As she turned to walk away, Drake grabbed her hand. He couldn’t let her leave like that. He had to make it right.

Bragnae snapped her head in the direction of their joined hands before glaring up at him. “What are you—,”

“I’m sorry, Bennett. How was your honeymoon?” He hoped she’d tell him it was terrible, and that she thought of him the whole time, but he knew that wouldn’t happen.

She visibly relaxed, but didn’t pull her hand away. “It was nice. Thank you. How’ve you been?”

“Well enough.” He looked into her amber eyes. She stared right back. He noticed her breathing had quickened, and knew it was a result of holding her hand from the way her gaze dropped to it. She swallowed, trying to hide being flustered, but Drake could see it. He saw everything.

He still affected her with a single touch, even after being a rude asshole to her. He, too, felt the electric current running through his veins stemming from their joined hands. He knew she was experiencing the same thing. Seeing her react that way gave him hope. A hope for what? What would he do with it? He didn’t know just yet, but he had a feeling he’d soon figure it out.

Bragnae cleared her throat and shook off her entranced expression as she gently pulled her hand out of his. “That’s good, Drake. I’ll see you later.”

He nodded, keeping his heated gaze on her. She took a step toward Hana, but looked back at him once more. The end of his mouth curled up into a smirk. Bragnae quickly averted her eyes and focused on Hana instead offering her a warm greeting.

After a week away with her husband, a single touch from Drake still muddled her composure. He decided he would test the waters further telling her what he wanted, and maybe she’d want that too. The night should prove interesting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was good to be back at the palace, even though she already missed her alone time with Liam. After greeting the welcome committee, they went back to their suite to shower and get ready for the dinner with their friends. Liam, as insatiable as he was, caught her before any other clothes could shield her body, and made love to her in their king-sized royal bed. Good to be back, indeed.

Bragnae slipped on a pink, chiffon dress that stopped at her knee, and stepped into a pair of peep-toe heels before her husband escorted her to the Dining Hall.

Everyone was already waiting for them when they walked in the room and took a seat. Liam at the head of the table, and Bragnae to his left. Out of courtesy for their position, their friends waited for them to sit before taking their own seats. Hana sat next to Bragnae, while Drake, Maxwell and Bertrand filled in across from her.

Her eyes flicked over to Drake as he settled in. He was looking particularly handsome today. She didn’t know what it was, but still she tried to ignore that. So, she turned to look at Maxwell, and thought about how nice he looked, and even Bertrand.

Maxwell, the hilarious party-guy she had come to love, was extremely good looking. He styled his hair, in what she considered was purposefully carefree, but he always looked good. He smelled delightful and warm, as a man should, dressed nice, and was toned and fit. Despite all of that, Bragnae had grown to love Maxwell as a brother-figure than anything else, which was probably best as she already had two men, specifically at this table, that she had romantic feelings for.

Bertrand was handsome in his own way. As Maxwell’s older brother, he was the Duke of Ramsford. He had been the indignant man that always gave her a hard time during the Social Season when she wanted to act like her ‘carefree American self’ – his words. Over time, however, he had become something more to her, like an older brother or even father-figure. Raised as an orphan, she was grateful to have him and any of her friends to consider part of her close-knit circle, part of her family.

Drinks had been served, and the servants presented them all with their meals. Everyone started to chat, especially Maxwell with his seemingly endless, but adorable questions about the island they just spent a week on, already making plans for them all to go back.

As she continued to listen and eat her meal, she felt like she was being watched. After taking a bite of the savory pot roast, she looked at Maxwell again before shifting her eyes to Drake. It was him. He was looking at her. But when their gazes met, he didn’t look away. In fact, he made it a point to deepen his stare.

Bragnae had to avert her eyes as a shiver shot down her spine. That was the second time that day one of his looks affected her that way. She took another bite. Maybe he was done staring. Of course, she’d need to check. Looking back in his direction, he had a glass of his favorite libation in his hand, and before he took a drink, his eyes flashed over to her again.

She could feel her heart race. Drake, with his dark eyes, could slay any woman with a single look. Well, so could her husband. But there was something to his smoldering and always brooding expression that made her tingly. She wondered why he was so attentive with her today. Before the wedding, it felt like he did all in his power to avoid her eyes, perhaps so she wouldn’t see the hurt inside him.

But now? He was eyeing her like a predator stalking its prey. Not that she ever felt threated by Drake, but his looks now definitely were intimidating. Mostly because she didn’t know what they meant.

Liam put his hand over hers on the table. Startled, she jumped slightly at his touch.

“Are you okay, Bragnae? Your face is a little red,” Kindly, he lowered his voice to a whisper not to draw the attention of the others, but they all still honed in on her.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious and needing a moment to sort out the mixed emotions running through her head, she stood. “I’m fine. Thank you,” she told him with a soft touch to his arm. “I’m a little warm. I think I’ll go splash some water on my face.”

The men at the table stood, chivalrous as they were, as she left the room. Once she was out of their sight, she headed to the nearest powder room. Closing the door behind her, she walked up to the sink, leaning on the counter as she took a few deep breaths.

She raised her head to see herself in the mirror. She was a bit red in the face. Damn Drake. No matter how hard she tried, he would always get a rise out of her. She shook her head, partly in disgust at herself as well as frustration. How could she move on from him if she saw him every day? He lived at the palace, same as her.

It would have been fine, and easier to deal with had he not started to intentionally capture her attention with his sexy, determined eyes. She put a hand to her chest feeling her heart beat faster than normal. Even her breathing was ragged. That wasn’t good. It was too soon to be around him again. How would she get around this?

Bragnae sat down on a cushioned tuffet she pulled out from under the counter, and gave herself another minute to regain her composure. Then, there was a knock at the door. She sighed. This was how life would be as the queen. She’d never truly be able to escape for a moment alone without someone coming to check on her.

Stubbornly, she let the person knock again before she called out. “I’ll be right there.” She stood, pushing the seat back in its place, and looked herself over once more. Taking another deep breath, she opened the door to see Drake staring down at her.

Her heart rate skyrocketed again. “Drake, what are you doing?”

Without an invitation, he gently pushed his way into the small powder room, closing the door behind him. “Shhh, Bennett. I’m sorry but I’ve got to talk to you.”

He’s got to talk to me? No way. I’m doing the talking. “Why do you keep looking at me at the table like you are?”

The room felt bigger before he was in it. Now, standing over her, crowding her a bit, the room was shrinking. She backed up against the counter, and he continued to step forward. Summoning all her strength, she tried her best to appear confident instead of the reality of her about to melt on the floor in a lustful puddle of herself because of his presence.

“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” He paused to study her for a moment. “I missed you… and I’ve been an idiot. I should have told you this sooner. You’re everything to me. You’re my last thought before I fall asleep, and on my mind immediately when I wake up. I love the way your smile lights up your entire face, I love that you laugh at all my stupid jokes, and I love that you push me to be better — you make me want to be a better man than I was.”

Drake took a small step forward. “I care about you so much, and… I want to be with you. It hurts,” his hands clutched at the fabric of his shirt over his heart, “it physically hurts that I’m not the one you call yours.” He visibly swallowed. “I love you, Benn— Bragnae.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her eyes frantically searched his for an ounce of humor or sarcasm, but there was none. He was sincere. He was pouring his heart out to her, telling her everything she wanted him to say before, and he chose now to do it. What a nerve. Suddenly she felt hurt and irate.

“How dare you say this to me now? You’ve had plenty of chances to tell me how you feel, and you wait until the day I get back from my honeymoon?” Her voice had raised a bit on that last word. “What is wrong with you, Drake?”

He dropped his hands to his sides again, and straightened his posture. “Plenty. And don’t think I don’t know it. But I’m not going to apologize for telling you this now.”

Surprised by his confidence, she gave him a questioning look. “What am I supposed to do with that? In case you forgot, you can’t be with me. I’m married now. You were there. You saw it.”

Drake stepped even closer to her. Their bodies mere inches apart. “Yeah, I saw it. Do you want to know what else I saw that day – on your face in particular? Longing, desire, maybe some regret – and that was just a few minutes after you said ‘I do’. Today, five minutes after you return from your honeymoon, I saw it all again. But this time there was more. I know you care about me, Bennett, dare I even say that you love me.”

He shifted his weight, looking down in attempt to gather his courage again. “I wouldn’t be telling you this – I wouldn’t be trying to ruin your marriage if I didn’t think you felt the same about me.”

I do, but I can’t allow you to think that. Not when my heart is still in this fragile state. “Well, I don’t.”

“Bullshit.” He narrowed his eyes at her. He had the gall to call her out, and at a time like this?

Unwilling to let him compromise her emotions further, she started for the door. She got it open a crack before Drake’s hand slammed it shut. She turned around to face him. His arm extended against the door, not allowing her to leave.

“What are you doing, Drake?” Anger and shock filled her voice.

His stature exuded confidence, but his face and words showed his vulnerability. “I know why you’re running away, but I can’t let you leave until I get all of this out. It’s… it’s okay if you don’t want to be with me. I know you said what happened in Vegas was a one-time thing. And at the time, I was so desperate to touch you again that I didn’t give a shit about the consequences. And now, it’s haunting me.”

Her expression and voice softened. “I was afraid of that.”

Drake looked deep into her eyes. “The day you got married, I sat in the parking lot trying to figure out whose life I was going to ruin: Liam’s, yours, or mine. I considered leaving Cordonia for good, but I knew that would hurt you. And to be honest, I didn’t think I could survive without seeing you regularly. So, I chose Liam because I just had to have you for myself.”

Bragnae listened intently. He was opening up to her, and she wasn’t going to interrupt.

“I walked into that church, spotted your door, and made my way to you. Before I could get there, Liam stepped out of his room, and told me it was time to go. And it was at that point I realized that Liam deserved to be happy too, and I couldn’t ruin his life by taking you away from him. So, I ruined mine instead.”

She so badly wanted to reach out to touch him, but something held her back.

“Bennett, you will never understand the level of pain and regret I have for letting you slip between my fingers. I know I hurt you. I know I didn’t speak up when I needed to. I know that I have no leg to stand on, but I couldn’t go another day without telling you how I felt.” Drake ran his hand softly down her arm. “I’d give anything to turn back the clocks, and tell you all of this before Liam proposed, but I can’t.”

“No, you can’t.” A lump of emotion welled in her throat. “Please don’t bring this up again. It hurts too much.” She turned away from him, hoping to avoid seeing the agony on his face. After a moment, Drake dropped his hand from the door, and she left the room.

Later that evening, Bragnae lay awake in bed next to her peacefully snoozing husband. She couldn’t sleep. Even when she and Liam had sex a few hours ago, she was distracted. Drake’s words had imprinted her mind, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what he said, and how he said it.

She hadn’t seen that kind of passion in Drake, when he was speaking, in… ever. The barrier of his friendship and duty to Liam always shielded whatever emotion he’d hoped to convey.

It was half past midnight. Liam had to leave early in the morning for Lythikos, so she didn’t want to disturb him with her restlessness. She decided she’d get up, and walk around the palace to help clear her thoughts. She threw on a camisole before slipping on a pair of pajama shorts. On her way out of the bedroom, she put on a jacket, zipping it up halfway.

Bragnae shoved her hands in her jacket pockets as she roamed the hallways of the palace thinking about Drake. As much as she wanted to hear those words from him, and as wonderful as they were to hear, she was more upset than infatuated. Why did he have to wait so long to tell her?

He had mentioned he wanted to break up their wedding, but changed his mind at the last second. Thinking about her wedding day, she tried to imagine what she would have done had he found her before Liam interrupted his plan. Would she have run off with him, or would she have denied him? Knowing her heart, and how desperately she wanted to be with him, there was no question.

But what about Liam? He wasn’t just this unbelievably attractive guy who was also a king. He was kind, tender, and loving. Even though it had only been about a week, she enjoyed being married to him. Granted, they were on their honeymoon the entire time, but still. He meant the world to her.

So, Drake corralled her in the bathroom to tell her all the things he should have said before, and expected her to jump right into his arms? She shook her head at the thought. Although, she’d be lying to herself if she said she didn’t want to. It was Drake, after all.

Looking ahead of her, Bragnae saw a bright light coming from a room. As she approached, she recognized it as the palace’s gym. The room had a wall of windows looking into the spacious area. She had only seen the gym in passing, never visited it for its intended purpose.

She looked at the vast array of equipment, cardio machines, weights, other contraptions geared towards different muscles in the body. A brief thought came to mind for her to go in there and work out – try to release the stress and pressure she now felt inside her. But before she could make any plans, she spotted someone.

It was Drake. He wore a black, razorback tank top, and a pair of red athletic shorts. She watched him pick up a set of free weights, forty-five pounds in each hand, as he pulled them up and away from the sides of his torso, putting his impressive wingspan on display. His back was turned to her, so he hadn’t noticed her gawking. Thank God.

The muscles in his arms and shoulders rippled with each repetition. His back glistened from the sweat of his hard work. Bragnae’s heart fluttered in her chest at the sight of him. The strength he possessed made her insides ache. Seeing him now reminded her of the few times his strong hands held her, picked her up, and touched her. She wanted more, but it wasn’t right. Not now. Not ever.

And suddenly she was mad again. Mad that she couldn’t have him. Mad that he waited so long to tell her. Mad that he conflicted her already unstable emotions when he confessed his feelings. Before she could think better of it, she opened the door and stepped inside the gym.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drake set the weights back down, and squirted water into his mouth before wiping his face with a towel. The melodic tunes of American Classic Rock blared in his ears, helping to motivate his work out. He shook his arms out as he rested in between sets. He’d move up to the fifty pounders next.

As he turned back to the weights, he was startled to see Bragnae walk into his view. Why is she here? For only a moment, he froze up, not sure what to do, but then logic set in. He slowly removed his ear buds, one at a time, and gently tossed the cord over his shoulder.

He continued to stare at her, not wanting to speak first. Not after what happened earlier. Plus, it gave him time to catch his breath, both from the work out and his surprise.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she told him, crossing her arms over her chest.

Drake felt guilty. He knew why. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Well, you should be.” Her tone had taken an unexpected direction, and now the softness of her amber eyes burned with ferocity. It had been a very different reaction from what he witnessed from her earlier.

She’s mad at me? He scoffed. “What? Look, Bennett, I know it was a dick move to surprise you with this information, but I do not regret it. I needed to tell you. No matter your response, you had to know.”

“Drake, I was happy!” Her elevated voice stunned him, but he stood resolute as she continued. “After we made love in Vegas, you kept pushing me away. I knew then it was never going to happen with us. I made peace with that. So, I pushed the thought of you out of my mind, and focused on the other man that I love.”

He heard her emphasis, and his heart swelled at the thought of her loving him – actually loving him. The concept was unfathomable.

“I love him, Drake. I wouldn’t have said ‘yes’ to him if I didn’t.” And just like that, her words cut him deep. Now he had to put up his walls again, so he didn’t get hurt anymore.

“So, what? Did you just come in here to rub that in my face? If you did, you can leave. I’ve already been tormented enough seeing you two together.” He turned away towards the weights, hoping she’d take the hint to go before his heart shattered into a million pieces.

“And whose fault is that?!” She screamed at him.

Drake rounded on her, snapping his attention back to her livid face. Even with her as mad as she was, he still wanted to kiss her. “Mine! I fucking said that earlier!” He fumed, staring down at her. With almost a foot of height over her, she had to tilt her head back just to look at him.

“I need you to hear me right now.” Her voice leveled out again. “I’m in love with you, Drake Walker. And if you would have acted on what you wanted instead of trying not to hurt your best friend, I’d be with you right now. I was prepared to hurt Liam’s feelings because you were worth it.”

She was right. Everything she just said, as hard as it was to hear, was true. He hated himself.

Bragnae lowered her gaze, shaking her head. “And now it’s too late.” She looked back up at him, her eyes glossy. “I’m married to a wonderful man who tells me he loves me every day. I’m the Queen of Cordonia. I just can’t erase that. No matter how much I might want to.”

They looked at each other for another moment, letting the words sink in. This can’t be how it ends. She obviously had feelings for him, and desired him still. If his lack of action before was what kept him from being with her, then he wasn’t going to make that mistake twice.

As Bragnae started to walk away, Drake grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply. She protested at first, feeling rigid in his arms, but after another second, she melted against him. Her hands ran across his swollen biceps as she pressed her full lips into him.

She felt amazing in his arms, and even better was her kiss. He could feel the love pouring out of her, and the little moan she released told him she was enjoying the moment as much as he was.

Suddenly, he felt the pressure of her hands pushing against him, and the protests returned. He let go of her as she took a few steps back. Both of them breathing heavily, staring at each other. He waited for her to say something or rush out the door, but she didn’t. She just kept looking at him with hunger in her eyes. And he really wanted to finish that kiss.

He took a step forward, so did she, and soon their lips were locked again in a heated kiss. Their bodies pressed together so tightly, it’d take a crowbar to pry them apart.

Drake wanted her. That much he knew. And he also knew he’d do whatever it took to have her. Against his own desires, he tore himself way from her, gripping both of her arms as he looked into her eyes. He needed her full attention.

“You can still be the queen, and be with me if that’s what you want. If I can’t have you completely to myself, I’ll share you with the king. If that’s what it takes to be with you, then so be it. I need you, Bragnae. I can’t live without you.”

Her eyes fixed on his as she contemplated his suggestion. Even he was surprised by it, but he was past the point of caring. His morals were shot the second he agreed to have the fling with her in Vegas, regardless of Liam’s approval. And now, he was offering himself to her as someone she could fuck on the side of her marriage.

“I’ve got to go,” she finally said, taking another moment to look at him before she gently pushed herself out of his grasp.

Drake watched her leave the gym, as guilt and pain reentered his heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Bragnae stood on her toes to kiss Liam by the front entrance. He would be traveling to Lythikos, and wouldn’t return until tomorrow. Whether that was a good or bad thing, she didn’t yet know. With Liam away, she could have time to sort through her thoughts, to find out what she truly wanted. But with him gone, she was afraid that would present a convenient opportunity to explore Drake’s proposal.

“I won’t be gone long, my love. Just an overnighter, and I’ll be back in your arms tomorrow.” He smiled down at her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

“I’ll miss you.” She pulled him in for another kiss.

His hand slid down to her curvy tush, giving it a hearty squeeze. “I’ll miss you, too. I’ll call you when I land.” Liam gave another kiss. “Goodbye, my queen. Have fun today.”

She smiled at him as Liam walked out the double doors to his limousine. Heaving a sigh, she turned around to head back to her room. As she walked out of the foyer, she saw Drake standing with his shoulder leaned up against the wall, looking at her. She stopped in her tracks.

Even though he stood several feet away from her, she could see the longing in his expression. She felt it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stared at her not moving a muscle. Everything had been laid out on the table. Now, they knew how each of them felt about each other, and Drake had told her he was okay with being the other man. Still not completely proud of his proposition, he was more than willing to move forward despite it. She was worth the risk and everything else involved.

Bragnae reached around her neck and unclasped her pearl necklace, balling it in her left hand. Curious about her peculiar behavior, he watched as she ascended the stairs, dragging the pearls over the polished banister keeping her eyes down and in his direction. His gaze followed her as she reached the top of the stairs, and turned right down a hallway. Before she walked out of sight, she looked right at him, and that’s when he knew.

Drake waited a minute. He pulled out his phone, and pretended to engage with it in case anyone was watching before casually walking up the red carpet-lined stairs. He nonchalantly looked down both hallways before following Bragnae’s trail. With many closed rooms before him, they all looked alike, but only one had a set of glossy pearls hanging from the doorknob.

#trr #trr choices #trr choices fanfic #trr liam #trr drake #the royal romance #the royal romance drake #the royal romance liam #the royal romance fanfic #drake x mc #liam x mc #king liam #drake x bragnae #liam x bragnae #drake walker #bragnae bennett #TRR Forbidden Fanfic #Queen of cordonia #very steamy fanfic

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emma-nation · 4 years

Text

Within You - Bloodbound AU- Chapter 1

Summary: One year after defeating Gaius, the gang has finally found peace… Until a tragic incident awakens the ultimate and most dangerous threat they ever faced.

Genre: Angst/Adventure/Romance

Rating: T - Warning for violence and language

Notes:

- Sequel to the fics For You, In The Daylight and Without You. You can read all of them here.

- Sorry to everyone who liked my plot about The First Vampire. I wrote it before Book 2 release and now I really felt like changing it, as I want to explore some characters and elements from the original BB universe in this fic.

- Slightly NSFW alert/Minor Nightbound crossover

Tag List: @supersphynxsworld, @lightning-fury, @spacecarrousel, @tigerbryn11, @gavryllo, @annabellewerecorgi, @whoinvitedalx, @sheyah, @imnotdonewiththeelementalists, @scaryqueenbee, @bigmemesplz, @la-guerra-69, @kamilahsayeed-owns-me, @morvengarde, @tephy24, @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @voltos9, @scorpistraub, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @justejuste727, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices, @sleeping-with-her06, @galaxyside-0, @msuhailey, @zoe6111, @noodledragon22, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh, @ilovetaylor13m, @honorablebicycle, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @allaboutchoices, @fal-carrington, @scarlet-letter-a0114

Lysimachus

The previous night had been intense. A failed attempt to perform a ritual to bring back a loved one resulted in someone summoning some sort of demon instead. It took three hunters to contain the threat. Even being a vampire, Lysimachus still felt sore and bruised from the battle.

"What time is it?" He rubbed his eyes and checked his phone screen. 9:36 AM. And about ten unread messages from his sister. Kamilah was extremely upset because he hadn't picked up her calls.

"Same old Kamilah," even almost two years after their reunion, her habit of acting so overprotective of him would never die. He needed to let her know, every single day, he was alive and well. "Oh shit."

The last message wasn't another complaint, but a summoning from Adrian. A Council meeting was scheduled for that night. Being one of the six Clan leaders, he was forced to attend. The subject was said to be highly important and related to his personal interests.

He wondered what could it be this time. Since defeating Gaius, they had been living normally. Some groups tried to follow his lead and start a rebellion in New York, but they were easily contained by Kamilah, Adrian and the others. Their biggest issue they had was his sister's disastrous honeymoon. She and Amy chose a private island in Greece as destination, where they had a nasty encounter with the Order Of Dawn, a secret society formed by some of the most elite and efficient killers in the world. Their sole mission was the eradication of their kind.

If there was an organization Lysimachus hated to his guts, that was the Order. Not only because they rejected him in the past, when he was still a vampire hunter, but because they acted fanatical and biased about their views. It was very pleasant to see their headquarters being burned to the ground, but what they discovered deep down the compound changed everything they knew so far... the tree that originated their bloodline. The Tree Of Eternal Life.

The secret files they found in the Order Of Dawn's computer told an entire different story about their origins. They were all wrong, including Jameson. The First Vampire, supposedly helped by a goddess, drank blood from the tree. Which granted her all the power she possessed.

There was an attachment on Adrian's email. Lysimachus opened it and started reading. He had been studying the tree's blood. And from the results, that story was being proved to be real.

After a quick showering, he went to the same usual diner for coffee and breakfast. The owner, Hazel, was a very sympathetic Fae, giving every meal a personal touch of her magic.

"Morning," Lysimachus greeted, "the usual, bacon and eggs, and... Espresso, extra strong please. I'm gonna need it today."

He glanced at the very end of the diner, at the most secluded booth, near the old jukebox. Lysimachus could barely see her short figure with magenta hair hidden behind the daily newspaper.

"And a blueberry French toast for the lady, please."

Lysimachus sat down right in front of her, who barely noticed his presence until she dropped the newspaper she was reading.

"Hello to you too," he joked, facing her closely.

"Oh, hey," Katherine removed her sunglasses, revealing the results of a poor night of sleep and complete exhaustion. "I came here for some coffee. I don't think I can make through the day without it."

"Same."

"All I can hope is no one will be doing anything stupid tonight. I don't think I can't handle."

Lysimachus let out a small laugh. They had been working together for one year now, hunting supernatural threats and protecting magical artifacts. There was some romance in between, but nothing serious or official. Katherine wasn't the kind who created too many attachments. Neither was him.

"Don't tell me," yet, he felt bad for leaving her behind. Her company was enjoyable. "I'm suppose to go to New York tonight. Council meeting."

Katherine stared at him in silence for a moment before rolling her eyes.

"Why do you even agree to be part of that vampire elitist crap? Isn't it exactly what you always hated and wanted to abolish?"

"I... uh..."

He didn't exactly have an answer. After The Baron's death, he was immediately chosen to have his seat. He rarely spent time in New York though, he mostly traveled through America and other parts of the world, seeking for vampires in dangerous situations, in need of a Brand or protection.

"It's for a greater good," he lied. The position was kinda imposed to him.

"Sure," Katherine let out an ironic chuckle. "Whatever you tell yourself."

Through his cell phone, Lysimachus scheduled the first flight back home. While he couldn't wait to hear his twin sister's complaints about his constant absence, there was one person he wished to avoid at any cost... Priya Lacroix.

"I'll be back next week," he assured Katherine. "But if there's any emergency..."

"You know I can handle it own my own," she interrupted. "But as for you, watch out for threats with brown hair, sharp fangs and red eyes. She was spotted at Alicia's former club several times in the last few months. Don’t even try to tell me she wasn’t stalking you."

Before he could answer, she stood up and walked away, leaving him wondering if that could be an act of jealousy or only her usual bad mood in the morning.

----------

Kamilah

"Anything else you need, Mrs. Sayeed?"

"Could you gift-wrap this for me, please?"

Kamilah sighed in relief as she accommodated herself on the comfortable seat of her private jet. She thanked the universe, and the humankind, for the existence of airport shops. She was so busy during her business trip to Paris she didn't have time to pick her wife a proper gift for their one year wedding anniversary. If there was one thing she considered extremely necessary was to spoil Amy. Though the girl refused to admit, she loved being spoiled.

Yet, she couldn't grant her the one gift she wanted the most, being Turned. They only had one conversation about this and Kamilah gave her a definite answer. When she reached her thirties, age when she was Turned herself, they'd finally discuss this again. Amy obviously wasn't thrilled about it.

Kamilah opened her laptop, attempting to chat with her brother, but he wasn't online. He was never online, or even answered phone calls, after he started this new lifestyle. Adrian messaged all the Clan leaders requesting a meeting to discuss important information, and she'd be truly angry if her twin brother wasn't there.

During the flight, she took some time to read the papers Serafine Dupont delivered her before her departure. She only met Amy once, during their honeymoon in Greece and an incident with the Order Of Dawn. Being a psychic vampire, it was enough for her to take some conclusions about her wife.

Bloodkeeper, Kamilah read. The parallel line that descended from the Tree Of Eternal Life. Passed to one woman, born in every generation and triggered by the contact with vampires. They had the ability to access every memory, from every vampire that ever walked on Earth.

That was the most coherent answer of why her visions were increasing. Being married to a vampire, Amy couldn't be any closer to that world. Somehow Kamilah felt relieved. After all, the prophecy previously made by Wright's cult in London was mostly wrong. What made Amy special, was her bloodline. She was no Chosen One to bring the First Vampire back to life. That was nothing but a myth created by old civilizations and passed along to their descendants. Only one of the many legends regarding their main ancestor.

She closed her eyes, trying to get some rest before her arrival, but Serafine's last words were still repeating inside her mind.

"There's more about Amy than it shows. I could sense something within her... a darkness."

Hours later, she was finally back in New York. It had passed 7 PM and her penthouse was dark and silent. She sighed, placing her bags near the front door. Amy should still be working at Ahmanet Financial. She was about to make her way to the master suite when someone jumped on her back.

"Surprise!" She recognized her wife's cheerful voice. "Please don't go to the dinning room, I'm not done yet."

"Amy..." Kamilah said, still stunned by the surprise. "I couldn't sense your presence and you're not even a vampire. How on earth do you manage to do that?"

"Practice I guess? By being married to a vampire?"

"I suppose you're right. Anyways, what were you up to in the dinning room?"

"Wait a sec," Amy disappeared through the corridor for a few minutes. "Stay right here."

Kamilah waited patiently, examining her surroundings and being surprised the penthouse was very organized, even in her absence.

"We're making some progress," she thought.

"You can come now."

The female vampire followed her wife, finding a candlelight dinner waiting for her. A huge smile appeared on her face. After she teased Amy a little bit about her cooking skills, they exchanged a few quick kisses and sat down to eat. Kamilah picked one special bottle of wine from her collection. She glanced at her wife, putting on some music on the stereo. Amy had the most beautiful and pure smile on her face. Serafine could only be wrong. There was no darkness inside her. Only light.

"So," at the table Amy's expression changed a little, "how much did you speak to her?"

"Who?" Kamilah took a sip of her wine. She already knew the answer.

"You know who I'm talking about."

After some alcohol in Greece, Serafine let slip some juicy details about their quick affair in the past, what caused Amy to become extremely jealous of her.

"Only enough," Kamilah assured her. "Small talk, work and... about you."

"What about me?" Amy raised her voice, clearly annoyed.

"Your visions. They're increasing, Amy. I needed answers."

"And what did the expert told you?"

"You're a Bloodkeeper."

----------

Amy

Bloodkeeper. A rare kind of human that possessed the ability of accessing every vampire's memories. Amy shook her head in denial.

"One more label to the list," she thought. "Damsel in distress, The Chosen One, Bloodkeeper..."

She entered the bathtub, that was in just in the perfect temperature. Everything was perfect in her life right now. The penthouse she lived with Kamilah, her high-ranked job at Ahmanet Financial, the business classes she was taking, their marriage... yet, she couldn't help feeling there was something missing. Since her death experience, she was constantly feeling empty, incomplete. Something she couldn't explain.

"I know what it is," her mother told, when she shared these feelings, obviously omitting all the supernatural and eerie part. "Motherhood. Your biological clock is ticking."

"Mom, I'm only twenty-four. And no, we're not even considering this possibility yet."

Deep down, she knew what would fill that hole. She knew exactly what she needed. She wanted to be Turned. Amy intended to keep all the promises she made in her vows, except for one: 'til death do us part. They could skip that part. It could be easily replaced by: 'til Turning makes us eternal.

When she left the bathroom, Kamilah was getting dressed for the Council meeting. She picked something formal, yet more casual, instead of her usual suits. Even after being together for two years, Amy was always impressed by how stunning she looked. Her wife would look great in anything she wore, even in the costume Lily designed her for their last Halloween party.

"I forgot..." She sighed, recomposing herself. "I printed the reports from the last few days, I left them on the office's desk."

"I don't need to see them," Kamilah shrugged. "I trust you, you run that company so well as I do."

"You're gonna make me believe it someday."

"It's true. Your communication skills have gotten us profitable deals, attracted new clients and everybody loves the improvements you suggested. Trust me, you're doing absolutely great."

Amy sat down by her side in bed and laced her fingers with hers. She felt a little remorseful for arguing with Kamilah as soon as she came home. She had all the right in the world to be concerned. Living for over two millennia, she had done things she deeply regretted, and having Amy to watch them, like a movie, should be truly upsetting.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just... sick of all of this. All these names and speculations about me. Can't I just be... Amy? Amy, the regular mortal?"

"You're far from regular. You're the most remarkable person I've ever met," Kamilah tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Whatever you are, Amy Sayeed, I love you."

"I love you too."

Amy wrapped her arms around her wife's waist, kissing all the way up from her neck until her soft lips. She kissed them passionately for minutes. While their tongues moved together, Kamilah’s hands moved down to the knot on her bathrobe, untying it and exposing her naked body.

“I missed you,” her nails softly raked Amy’s stomach, “so much.”

“And so did I,” Amy whispered in her ear. “But you were always on my imagination, you know?”

Her last sentence sparkled Kamilah’s attention, who raised a curious eyebrow.

“Oh really? Have you been having fun without me?”

“Quite a bit, if you ask me.”

That was one of Amy's favorite manners to provoke her wife when she was away on her business trips. Or she'd ask her opinion on which underwear she should wear that night, followed by pictures. It had the power of causing some interesting effects when the female vampire got home.

Kamilah's hand traveled down her body and stopped in the middle of her legs, touching her most sensitive spot only to tease her.

"After this Council meeting," she spoke in her usual demanding tone, "you better be prepared."

———-

Kamilah

Adrian requested to see Kamilah in particular, one hour before the meeting started. He wanted her to be the first one to see his findings in person. She and Amy arrived at Raines Corporation at 11 PM, Lily was already there, preparing the slide-shows. While the girls got distracted, speaking about their video games and favorite TV shows, Kamilah followed Adrian to the laboratory.

"Is it..." her eyes went wide as she observed the ancient, marble sarcophagus in the middle of a highly secured room.

"Yes," Adrian told. "I retrieved it from that underground temple in London. But..."

"But?"

"It's not the First Vampire in there."

"What?! What about Amy's visions when she was in that death state? She saw her. She spoke to her."

"Indeed, she spoke to her trapped spirit, but, this? This is unreal, Kamilah. The First Vampire's body is stored somewhere else."

That wasn't the only one of his findings. Since the discovery of the Tree Of Eternal Life, Adrian obtained many samples of its blood for studying purposes. The blood that started both of their lines, Vampires and Bloodkeepers. The blood that was rumored to be the ultimate source of power.

"The results are absolutely impressive," he explained. "For example, besides finding out this body is not the First's, I concluded that what truly killed Gaius was Amy's blood, not that stake. The Bloodkeeper blood in contact with his heart, had the ability of destroying an ancient vampire."

"So?"

"Unlike ours, her blood has no impurities."

He drove her to another section of the laboratory, where the samples of the blood were being studied for different purposes. One of them, was Adrian's most proud creation, a serum that could cure Ferals and prevent new vampires from developing that condition.

"What about the the other samples?" Kamilah asked, her eyes running through the screens and laboratory machinery in front of her.

"One of them is to give us more time in the sunlight."

That was no problem for Kamilah. Her ring still worked perfectly, even after some time. And so did her brother's and... Priya's. Lacroix's new line of swimming suits and beach outfits was hit during the last summer.

"And these," Adrian's lips turned into a smile, "my two biggest dreams. Two projects in development."

"Don't tell me you're trying to become human again?" Kamilah rolled her eyes.

"It could be an alternative. Kamilah, some of us never wished or adapted to this life."

"Fair enough."

That wasn't the case for her. After 2065 years, she was pretty comfortable being a Vampire. With Amy, she was enjoying her life at fullest now.

"This one is my top secret project," Adrian showed her another sample. "It's uh... a project for us to be able to reproduce. I don't know what results it could bring and I have no one willing to test."

Kamilah quickly dismissed that subject. Being a mother was something she never considered before, not as mortal, even less as vampire. At the moment, Amy completely agreed with that decision. They still had a lot to experience together before taking such a big step in their relationship.

She returned to the main hall, where a surprise awaited for her. Her long missing twin brother had finally showed up.

"Well," Kamilah crossed her arms and frowned. "Hello, stranger."

Lysimachus didn't say anything, he only involved her in a bone-crushing hug and messed up her perfectly lined hair.

"I missed you too, sister."

"Well, your life must be active in New Orleans as you barely have time to call anymore."

"Sorry," he smiled. "I've been quite busy."

"When am I going to meet her?" Kamilah playfully elbowed him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Together, they followed to Adrian's conference room, where the meeting was about to start.

----------

Lysimachus

Since the night of Kamilah's wedding, Lysimachus had permanently cut ties with Priya. The only few times they met were during Council meetings or when she was visiting New Orleans by occasion. The fashion designer wasn't obviously interested in changing for better, or maintaining a healthy relationship. All she ever cared about was her fame, status and herself.

As usual, she made her late entrance in the conference room, eyes focused on her cell phone and pretending to not notice his presence.

Kamilah started with the formalities and, before passing the word to Adrian, she asked:

"We have some important information to be shared tonight, but before that, anyone has another subject that should be discussed in this meeting?"

"I do," for the first time Priya looked at him. "I'm starting a petition to impeach Council members that who are mostly absent from meetings and have a questionable conduct, such as hunting their own kind or sharing private information. Also, the Pact clearly states that every member should be a New York resident."

Lysimachus ignored her desperate attempt to insult him. He should be expecting that. Priya would attack him in every opportunity she had. Three of the projects he proposed to the Council were denied because of her.

"I meant..." Kamilah sighed, "another important subject."

"I'm getting married!" Lester announced, standing up from his chair. "We've met during my visit to a ranch in Texas. She's a cowgirl and horses aren't the only thing she's good at riding, you know..."

"What?" Lily and Jax asked at the same time, exchanging looks. "Ewww."

"I never thought I'd say that," Amy said, "but I miss The Baron. At least with him we had all these interesting murder and betrayal accusations, instead of... this!"

Kamilah only shook her head and gave Adrian a signal to proceed with his subject. While Lily set up the technological part, they still had to hear Lester bragging about his fiancée for some very long minutes.

"Congratulations," Lysimachus tried to make him stop before it became to graphic for everybody's sake.

"Yeah," Priya smirked sarcastically. "Maybe you're next, Hunter. I mean, after you sell out our heads to your girlfriend, she'll want to stick around."

It was becoming too much for him.

"I never shared a single bit of information we discuss in this room with my co-workers from New Orleans!"

"Can you all shut up?!" Kamilah angered. "Relationship counseling is in a different building. Two blocks away."

The presentation started. He knew what Adrian was about to share, being a former member of his company he had sent him all the research results he managed to obtain beforehand. Now, they were finally having access to real information about their origins and all the potential the blood from the Tree had, not only to create but to destroy.

"Any further comments?" Adrian inquired.

"I'm not a disgusting Feral, I can walk in the sunlight and I have no interest having children," Priya headed to the exit. "Can I leave now? My new collection isn't going to draw itself."

As she opened the door, another female figure was standing outside. Everyone turned their heads and stopped to watch. Katherine walked into the conference room, going straight to Adrian.

"Adrian Raines? I've obtained confidential information that, not only you're in the possession of the First Vampire's blood, but has been using it for research."

"That's correct."

"Being it considered one of the most powerful and ancient artifact, I've been hired to monitor it closely."

"Why don't you follow me to my office?"

As they both left, the whole room stared directly at Lysimachus, even his own sister. He had absolutely nothing to do with that, except... that he remembered connecting his cell phone to Katherine's computer one night to sync some files.

"Fuck!" He thought. He couldn't have acted so careless.

Priya stood by the door with a victorious grin on her face.

"I told you so," she said before leaving.

----------

Amy

When they finally made back home, a heavy rain started pouring outside. Kamilah was completely stressed, pacing around her home office. At first, she thought to be a scheme plotted by Priya against her brother, until he admitted his mistake. Yet, someone had indeed hired Katherine to have deep access to Adrian's research and they couldn't figure out who.

"I always knew my brother was making a mistake getting involved with those people," Kamilah vented to her. "Sooner or later, it was bound to happen."

"Do you think Priya is actually right?" Amy massaged her wife's tense shoulders. "That he must pick, between New Orleans or being a Council member?"

"The more I hate to admit it, yes. Lacroix is right this time, Amy. Even though my brother has done an amazing job as Clan leader, he can't keep a double life as Nighthunter. He may have put us all in danger, that was the most important information we had in ages."

"And what do we do now?"

They had been together long enough for Amy to decipher all Kamilah's looks. The one she had at the moment meant she was about to suggest something she wouldn't like.

"No..." Amy scowled. "Absolutely not."

"Amy," Kamilah closed her eyes, trying to stay patient. "Adrian agreed. Being a psychic vampire, Serafine can debrief her."

"Doesn't your brother knows how to debrief people? Why her?"

"He's not doing it. Lysimachus thinks it's too extreme and could put her in danger with her employee."

"Okay," Amy threw her hands in defeat, "it's for a good cause I guess. But she's staying away from you."

"Of course."

Suddenly, Kamilah had her pinned down to the bed, eyes red in desire.

"I love when you're jealous," her nail traced Amy's cheek. "I can sense the insecurity in your heart, the fear of losing me to someone else, the thought that you're too inexperienced..."

Kamilah was right. Amy had all of that in mind when it came to Serafine, Gaius or even her Italian girlfriend. The flashes that were now often popping-up in her mind of their moments together only made it worse.

"But truth is..." she whispered in her ear, "no one has made me ever feel this way before," Kamilah placed Amy's hand on her chest, where she could feel her heart beating fast.

"Really?"

Kamilah didn't answer, her eyes were determined to prove Amy her feelings. She drove Amy's hand to another spot, inside her underwear.

"Or this way. You have the power of driving me completely crazy."

"Okay," Amy smiled in satisfaction, feeling how much her wife wanted her. "I see your point now."

She wanted her too. She wanted her really badly. Their mouths had just found each other when a cell phone started buzzing.

"Ignore it," Kamilah ordered, against her mouth. "I don't want to hear anything else, other than you saying my name loud tonight."

It continued. And Amy tried to keep her focus on the tips of Kamilah's fangs brushing her neck. But the buzzing wouldn't stop, for some reason it seemed to grow louder. It was entering her ears causing discomfort. Penetrating her brain like if it was ringing inside it.

"I'm going to pick up," Amy told, pushing her away. "All this noise is giving me a headache."

"Huh?!" Kamilah furrowed her brows confused. "I can barely hear it, it's coming from your purse in the living room."

As Amy grabbed her phone, the number of missed calls scared her but no more than the text from her mother.

"Amy, what's wrong?"

She couldn't answer. She just stared at the screen paralyzed in horror.

"K-Kamilah... it’s my dad... h-he's in hospital. He had a heart attack!"

#bloodbound #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #bloodbound fanfiction #within you

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komatsunana · 4 years

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My Ai Yazawa Reccomendation List

This is a list that I’ve actually been thinking about for a while now (like... years lmao). Basically just a few of my personal recommendations of series (only manga and webtoons this time around but I have a couple tv shows and anime that I also might rec in a second list if people like this one...) that people like me that are missing Yazawa’s work might enjoy. The bulk of this list is for NANA, because that is her unfinished work, but I’ve got quite a few recs for her other series.

I don’t love all the series on this list (or even like tbh), but I can see where someone who likes a certain aspect of Yazawa’s work might enjoy the series more than me. I didn’t include trigger warnings because it’s been a number of years since I read some of these series (and some I never finished) but feel free to ask me and I’ll do my best.

Obligatory recommendation that if you enjoy any of Yazawa’s series, you should give any of her series a try. I think all of the series that I’ve read by her are masterpieces in their own right and if you’re missing NANA (or any of her other works) you should definitely read the rest of her work because many of my own favorite aspects of Yazawa’s works are present in all of her work - like female friendship and continuous story lines (rather than episodic).

Feel free to add on with your owns recs... And tell me if you read any of these series!

If you like the past/future mechanic of NANA with young adult characters and enjoy unveiling the mystery in Kagen no Tsuki then give Piece by Ashihara Hinako a try. The MC and her best friend have a good passing resemblance to Nana and Hachi, if Hachi were chubby but they have more than appearance in common with NANA’s leading ladies... To say any more would be spoilers! This series also marries some of the messy melodrama of RL with realism like NANA.

Summary: One day, Mizuho, a university student, receives news that her classmate in high school, Origuchi Haruka, passed away. Mizuho doesn't remember being best friends with Origuchi, but apparently, Origuchi told her mother that Mizuho was her best friend. And now, her mother wants Mizuho to help her find the boy Origuchi dated during high school. Mizuho told Origuchi's mother that Origuchi was a very plain girl, and she was never seen with a guy, but her mother told Mizuho that Origuchi got pregnant and had an abortion when she was in high school. Mizuho was shocked, but she still starts asking her other classmates in high school and following the traces Origuchi left behind.

Status: Complete

If you liked Paradise Kiss for the portrayal of a bunch of odd-balls coming together to do something creative together and inspiring Yukari with their passion OR for Yukari’s struggle with her mother academic expectations then you might enjoy the webtoon Spirit Fingers by Han Kyoung Chal!

Summary: What do you do if you're going on 18, totally awkward and lacking in self- confidence? You could just sit in your room all day and all night and study and wonder why you never get asked out…OR, if you’re Amy Song you could join up with the Spirit Fingers – the strangest, hippest, coolest (yet most welcoming) art club ever. But as Amy is about to learn, discovering your TRUE colors is about more than just painting.

Status: Complete, still being translated. Best part is you can start reading the series completely LEGALLY here. They changed the character’s first names to more western ones and it’s a bit behind the unofficial translations but I still recommend reading it legally.

If you liked NANA because you liked how the Nanas had the same name and had all these other similarities, meeting under fateful circumstances but also wish they’d date then give Lonely Wolf, Lonely Sheep a try by Fuka Mizutani!

Summary: Two women with the same name happens to meet each other when they're at the same hospital for the same injury. They want to become closer, but both must overcome their insecurities and self-loathing first.

Status: Complete

If you like the past/future telling aspect of NANA with a large, fully-fleshed cast of characters who are all living their life check out Cheese in the Trap by Soonkki. Sul is a very strong, no- nonsense MC but with plenty of charm with great friends. Like NANA it’s easy to hate some of the more flawed characters but at the end of the day even the antagonists have complex reasons for being the way they are and aren’t just living to be an opposing force.

Summary: Seol Hong is a hard-working student, who has returned to college after a long break. Jung Yu is a senior at the college known as Mr. Perfect. Seol feels like her life took a turn for the worse since she got involved with Jung. Is Jung intentionally turning Seol's life?

Status: Ongoing... I think? You can read the webtoon legally [here] and the translations are being posted weekly still at least.

Do you like younger looking characters like Mikako and Miwako? Do you like playboys like George as a male lead but wish he were a bit more earnest? Did you like how Akira and Midori took their time getting to know and understand each other by the end of the series? Do you just like how Yazawa emphasizes friendship in her work? Here’s Lovely Everywhere by Ke Li for you.

Summary: Tong Danwei is a high school freshman with romantic dreams about the boy she is fated to meet. While on the way home from picking up groceries, she runs into a pretty boy, and that’s where our story begins. Will she find love in high school? And more importantly, will any boy be able to overlook the fact that although she is in high school, she still looks like an elementary student?? Follow along on Tong Danwei’s adventure of love and high school angst, with plenty of comedy thrown in to the mix.

Status: Complete

If you like the supernatural mystery aspect of Kagen no Tsuki starring younger characters with mysteriously dead-but-not-dead characters, then Route 225 might by a good series to try. It’s by Shimura Takako & Fujino Chiya (Original Story). You might know Shimura Takako from her other series like Wandering Son and Sweet Blue Flower, so you know she is great portraying emotional realism like Yazawa.

Summary: 14-year-old Eriko finds herself left in charge of her younger brother Daigo when their parents suddenly disappear one warm summer evening. Trapped in a world that is very much like their own save for the lack of their parents, Eriko and Daigo find themselves desperate for the return of the worrywart mother and apathetic father they never thought they'd miss so badly...

Status: Complete

If you liked NANA because you liked reading about a pair of women who are very different and yet are very good friends to the point where their friendship is more important to them than romantic relationships (even if they struggle to properly communicate this to each other) then try the short series Tomodachi no Hanashi by Kawahara Kazune (Story) and Yamakawa Aiji (Art).

Summary: Eiko is something like a plain Jane and a doormat, while her best friend Moe is a head-turning beauty. Despite their differences, their friendship is as strong as ever. Guys are always asking Moe out, but her answer is inevitable, "only if you promise to put Eiko before me."

Status: Complete

Did you like how Hachi from NANA kept losing her jobs? And had no luck in love? Do you prefer to read about young adult characters? Even though we never talk about how funny Yazawa’s work is... was that something you really liked about her work? Dame na Watashi ni Koishite Kudasai by Nakahara Aya! Hachi and Shibata aren’t exactly alike but they are both fun to read and get into the mindset of in a similar way.

Summary: The unemployed Shibata Michiko is betting everything she has on her romance with a younger man—literally. In order to keep him happy, she deprives herself of the things she wants and buys him expensive clothing and accessories. Since she's flat out broke, she needs to find a job before she starves to death and loses her young love interest. However, Michiko discovers that the boy was never interested in her romantically. Depressed at being dumped and after a series of unsuccessful interviews, she bumps into Kurosawa—an intimidating former boss she used to dislike.

Status: Complete, with a spin-off

If you’re interested in exploring Mikako’s feelings from Gokingo Monogatari when she dropped out of school then Cat Street might interest you. Both MCs find themselves a group of friends and attend alternative high schools - though while Mikako’s is an art’s school, in Cat Street is more of a free school that seems to specialize in drop-outs and the like.

Summary: The story centers around Keito Aoyama, a former famous child actress. Due to a childhood incident, she retired from her career early and withdrew from normal society. Now 16, she passes her days in boredom and without purpose. But one day she runs into a stranger who takes her to El Liston--a free school for high school students like herself, who don't have a place where they belong. Though hesitant at first, Keito decides to enter El Liston and subsequently, she begins a new stage in her life. With the help of her only remaining childhood friend, Taiyou, and her new classmates Rei, Momiji, and Kouichi, Keito slowly finds the courage to open up to others and to accept their support. Will Keito return to acting? Will she find true friends? Love?

Status: Complete

If you want a series like NANA that is about adult women who are good friends and roommates as they balance their life with their career, love-lives, and friendship with each other try Tokyo Alice by Toriko Chiya. Alternatively, if you were wondering what Hachi might look like if you reversed her obsession with love with her love of shopping... you’ve got Tokyo Alice’s MC (lol)

Summary: Fu Arisugawa is a little worried there might be something wrong with her. She loves shopping above all else, using her money to buy designer and brand-name items to the exclusion of all else. But while her friends also enjoy shopping, they're all also on the hunt for love in one way or another – something that Fu finds she just isn't all that interested in. When her boss starts showing interest in her, will Fu figure it out? Or is she going to keep going in her shopping wonderland?

Status: Complete, also has a recent drama that you can watch with Prime TV!

If what interested you most about NANA was it’s portrayal of the music industry of a new band and wanted more of that then try Beck by Sakuishi Harold. Beck, like NANA, has an anime that while it doesn’t cover the entire series is worth watching or even having the soundtrack on as you read the series.

Summary: Fourteen-year-old Yukio "Koyuki" Tanaka is a dispirited young boy with no goals in life. However, this all changes when Koyuki saves a strange-looking dog named Beck from being harassed by a group of local kids. The dog's owner, 16-year-old Ryuusuke "Ray" Minami, is an emerging guitarist and the former member of a popular rock band. After Koyuki meets Ray again in a diner, the older boy leads him to his former band's meeting place and dazzles Koyuki with his amazing guitar skills. Slowly becoming interested in the glamour of western rock culture, Koyuki decides to start playing the guitar while helping Ray achieve his dream of leading the ultimate rock band. Together with Ray's younger sister Maho and a few other members, the two boys launch their career into the world of rock by forming a band called BECK. Beck follows the group's struggles and successes as they spread their fame across Japan.

Status: Complete

If you like how Yazawa writes her female “rival” characters as sympathetic and likable (even if not everything they do is likable) then you might enjoy Koda Momoko’s Heroine Shikkaku. It’s about a girl who is shocked when she discovers she’s more like the bitchy villainess who bullies the sweet and pure heroine in shojo manga.

Summary: This could be any girl. Imagine being a heroine of a love story. Hatori also believed that one day she would get married to her childhood friend, Rita. But that's not how the world works! This is a hilarious comedy that honestly paints a painful unrequited love story of this young girl!

Status: Complete

If you want a short read like NANA, with two very different girls with the same name who tie their futures together then read the one-shot Watashi to Watashi by Sahara Mizu. Note that I’m only suggesting you read this specific one-shot, not any of the other one-shots contained in the collection this one is in... Actually I very much insist you don’t read the first one. I highly recommend reading others’ of Sahara Mizu’s work if you enjoy this one because even if none of them are directly similar to any of Yazawa’s... the emotional complexity is.

Summary: Two girls with the same name; one beautiful and athletic, the other awkward and shunned. But who’s the lucky one?

Status: Complete

If you like a series having 2 characters named Nana in NANA (even if their relationship with each other is... entirely different) and enjoy the format of Nana and Hachi continuing to address each other in inner monologues in the future where they haven’t seen each other for years or you just like messy, realistic relationships try We Were There by Obata Yuuki.

Summary: The start of high school life. To the girls, that also meant the start of their love lives. For brand new first year student, Takahashi Nanami (Nana for short), it was no different... She happens to end up in the same class as the incredibly popular Yano Motoharu, who rumors say that two thirds of all the girls are guaranteed to fall in love with. But will that hold true for Nana, who says that if she had to choose between like or dislike, she'd say she dislikes him!?

Status: Complete

What was your favorite thing about Tenshi Nanka Ja Nai? Was it Akira struggling with his feelings for someone that married into his family? Was it Midori and Mamirin’s friendship? Try Omoi, Omoware, Furi, Furare by Sakisaka Io. (Strobe Edge also by Sakisaka might also work for you).

Summary: The story centers around Yuna and Akari who have two very different views of love: Yuna is someone who sees love as a dream and Akari is someone who is very realistic about her romance choices. Meanwhile, there are two boys, Kazuomi and Rio, who also have different views of love: Kazuomi's an airhead and doesn't understand the concept of love, while Rio grabs the opportunity when confessed to as long as the girl looks cute.

Status: Complete, being translated

If you just like Yazawa’s work and want to read works by a close friend of hers... Yoshizumi Wataru! You might know her best from Marmalade Boy, but she also worked on quite a few josei works about young adults... Like Cappuccino (if you like moving on from a first serious relationship as we saw with Hachi and Shouji), but also Cherish and Spicy Pink.

That’s all I got for now... But again... Let me know if you read any of these! Whether or not at my suggestion lol. And add on too! I’ve read or at least tried all of these myself so now I’m the one in need of recs lol.

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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How Ginger Snaps Explored the Subversive Horror of Womanhood

https://ift.tt/30jSLcc

In 2000 Mission: Impossible 2 topped the box office, Gladiator triumphed at the Oscars, and the first X-Men movie ushered in a new era of superhero movies. Meanwhile in Canada, while no one was watching, a new hero was emerging. Her name was Ginger, she was a 16-year-old girl, and ok, she might have turned into a monster and killed a few people but, wow, was she a ferocious figurehead for females everywhere.

“That’s what she’s about. She’s about fuck you, fuck the patriarchy, fuck the standard, fuck society, fuck the norm. And to me, that’s a hero,” says Katharine Isabelle, speaking with Den of Geek via Zoom from her home in Vancouver, 20 years after the film’s debut. Isabelle was just 17 when she stepped into Ginger’s very cool boots and she had no idea it would become a massive cult hit.

“When it first came out, no one fucking watched it. It did well with some critics at a few festivals, but no one cared. No one went to see it,” she recalls. “It wasn’t until it hit the VHS circuit in small town Canada that people were like, ‘Oh, Ginger!.’ Emily [Perkins, who plays Ginger’s sister Brigitte] and I thought we’d be the only people that liked it because we were weird and dark. We had no idea that through the generations it would continue to have an effect on people.”

Watching 20 years on and Ginger Snaps absolutely holds up. More than that, in fact, it looks positively progressive and even transgressive in a year where we were onto our third Scream, our second Urban Legend, and our first Final Destination. Glossy teen slashers were the thing, which didn’t often make for great parts.

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“In the ’90s, as a 17-year-old girl it was ‘be hot, get murdered’,” says Isabelle. “There weren’t a lot of really interesting characters coming out of that, especially in my small Vancouver, Canada acting world. So to see this and be like, ‘Holy shit, this really speaks to me, I am this dark, insecure, troubled, deep, dark humored girl who feels outcast and misunderstood by everybody,’ I was just like, ‘Yes. 100%.’”

Written by Karen Walton who would go on to write for Queer as Folk and Orphan Black, and directed by John Fawcett (one of Orphan Black’s co-creators), Ginger Snaps was a fresh take on the werewolf subgenre and a brand new slant on teen horror. This was about girls for a start – sisters Ginger and Brigitte who are weird outsiders fascinated with death. Though there’s sex in the movie it’s really a love story between the two females while the only male character who we have any sympathy for is a drug dealer who has no sexual interest in either. There are dog maulings along the way, and as we head towards the climax with Ginger becoming more and more monstrous, there’s plenty of gore.

But the most scandalous splash of blood is Ginger’s own first period.

Period piece

“You never see that. The visual of bloody panties is so shocking,” says Isabelle.

“It’s what, 2020 and we’re just seeing feminine hygiene products using red dye instead of this fucking blue shit? We’re always so mortified by this human experience that half of the people on the planet go through. And you know what? At the same time you should be, because being female is a fairly horrific fucking experience in itself. So guess what? Why don’t you fucking look at it once in a while? For it to be labeled as shocking is just so boring to me.”

It would be bold even in 2020. That color matching company Pantone only last month released a new shade of red inspired by periods as part of a campaign to end menstruation stigma shows it very much still exists. So to be this open in discussing it in 2000 in a horror movie – traditionally assumed to be the playground of young men – was a brave move.

“I remember a friend of mine, his older brother had taken his friends to see it and he was like, [Isabelle does impression of bro-tastic young man] ‘Oh yeah, we were all screaming and throwing shit at the fucking screen and then we walked out. All this fucking women shit.’ I was like, ‘Cool. Thanks, buddy. Awesome.’ Fuck you! They thought they were going to see hot girl tits and werewolf stuff and they weren’t prepared for an actual look into what the female experience is like. And they couldn’t handle it. Pussies.”

Suddenly it’s like I’m talking to wolf-Ginger, fierce, articulate, full of fire, the Ginger that punches the mean girl in the face for hurting her sister, the Ginger that isn’t going to stand for any of your shit any longer, the Ginger that could tear the flesh from your bones if she wanted to.

The metaphor of werewolf transformation and puberty is a no brainer to Isabelle.

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“You’re going along your life perfectly fine, something happens to you, boom. In one day, you have all these strange urges, you have all these weird thoughts. Your body is completely abandoning you and morphing into something else that you are not comfortable with,” she says. “It’s a complete betrayal of everything you know and how you feel. And it creates this monster in you that you have to reckon with and deal with. It’s a brilliant allegory.”

Ginger Snaps is body horror. It’s a movie about a woman’s own body destroying her from the inside out. Before she knows what’s really going on Ginger is bleeding, weak, crippled with cramps. Weird hair starts sprouting – a shaving scene really hammers home the horror of teenagers taking razors to their legs.

But with this pain comes power. Ginger is suddenly confident, beautiful, strong, the boys at the school all desire her and she knows it. She will take who she wants and do what she wants – there’s some serious wish fulfillment going on at the same time as the trauma of her transformation.

Being Ginger

It’s not really surprising that Isabelle is so like this iconic character. She says she had an immediate affinity to Ginger – both sides of Ginger, the troubled outsider as well as the she-wolf.

“At that time, I wasn’t a good enough actor to have acted it. I just had to be myself,” she laughs, “They showed a pieced-together trailer halfway through to the cast and crew and I had a complete panic attack. It was my first panic attack, and I was like, ‘I’m fucking this up.’ This is the best character in the best movie and I clearly have no idea what I’m doing. I’m obviously the worst, this is terrible. I’m ruining this, I should just die. So all of the insecurity and the manicness…”

This just in: it’s shit being a teenage girl. Even more so when you’re 17, on location without your mother for the first time and working 18 hour days.

“I nearly fucking died!” she says. “Towards the end, it’s like a seven hour prosthetic piece when I’m full blown werewolf. I was living off of Oreos, McCain Deep Delicious Chocolate Cake, cigarettes, and Coca Cola. It was not good. And honestly, I wasn’t a good actor. So everything in that was just me being manic and sleep deprived and upset and insecure.”

Whatever was driving it Isabelle is excellent, flitting from difficult outsider with an undercurrent of fury to a whirlwind of teenage angst, sex, hunger, and violence that feels absolutely authentic.

Becoming the wolf

The effects are practical rather than CGI, which helps Ginger Snaps not to look dated on a rewatch. Ginger transforms gradually from woman to full blown wolf over days – she’s not a traditional werewolf who only becomes a wolf during the night of a full moon, instead once she turns fully she’s not coming back. Her different looks in the movie are cool and iconic – unsurprisingly Ginger Snaps cosplay is a ‘thing’ – which pleases Isabelle. The prosthetics procedure was somewhat less pleasing, however.

“I didn’t understand what the process was,” she says. “You see it in your head like you do when you read a book or whatever, or how the movie is going to be. You don’t think of the six hours on top of your 18 hour shooting day that you’re going to be inhaling alcohol-based paint until you’re high out of your fucking mind.”

The transformation came with other obstacles too.

“The process of losing my senses was a first for me. By the time I’m in the very late stage werewolf with the hair, the contacts and the claws, I can’t see anything, I can’t hear anything, I can’t smell anything, I can’t talk. I have fangs. I had to ADR most of the movie when I have fangs in. Because I had a lisp, so I’d be like, ‘Ask Tham. He’th the exthpert.’” She says, mimicking a line from the movie.

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“It’s just terrible. I couldn’t touch anything and there is blood all over me, and it’s drying and I was trapped in my own body nightmare. You don’t really realize that when you go into it. So now when I read scripts, ever since then, I’m very like, ‘What does that exactly mean for the physical torture I will be experiencing through the duration of this?’ Let’s take a step back and just really look at this more closely,” she laughs.

Pain and gain

Isabelle is funny – like Ginger, she has a dark sense of humor and though we genuinely get the sense that the shoot was traumatic (“We were all fucking ill and we were shooting nights for about three weeks in a row, so you do not see daylight. You lose your mind. It wasn’t quite Apocalypse Now, but it felt like that to me when I was 17.”), she’s got great stories. Like the time she gave herself a concussion…

“There’s a scene where I slam my head on a desk and I was like, ‘Ginger probably really slammed her head on the desk.’ So I really did it a bunch of times and then woke up the next day with a fucking full on concussion headache. They had a doctor come in because I was fucked. He gave me Tylenol T3s and I took them on an empty stomach. I’m vomiting on set and they’re holding the roll, and I’ve got a bucket I’m puking into. And then immediately I had to do the slow motion walk down the hall scene. I was so fucked they had to put tape on the floor. I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I’m so mad every time I see that. I’m like ‘Fuck, you only get so many slow motion walking down the hallway looking cool and hot in your whole career, and you really fucked this one.’”

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Of course, it doesn’t play that way on screen. It’s a key moment in the movie and even 20 years on, Ginger’s look still stands out. Costume designer Lea Carlson put together her outfits from thrift stores to create a kind of indie/goth cool with spot on accessories for an aesthetic that matched Ginger’s newly awakened give-no-fucks vibe.

“When that infection hits and she’s got that fucking attitude, it’s like, don’t we all wish we could just walk around with that attitude like a hero?” says Isabelle.

She says she can watch the movie now and enjoy it, though she couldn’t for a while.

”I haven’t seen it in 15 years because I tend to not revisit my most awkward moments on film as a teenager,” she laughs. But she now speaks fondly of this “wonderful sisterly love story.”

Ginger and B

She and co-star Perkins had known each other “forever” before filming began, having even been born in the same hospital and gone to the same elementary school so they auditioned for Ginger Snaps together. Perkins as the younger Brigitte (even though Isabelle is actually four years younger than Perkins) is sympathetic, awkward, vulnerable, and eventually heroic and there’s an obvious chemistry between the two. Isabelle recalls how between one of the auditions and the first time director John Fawcett came out to meet them Emily had shaved her head.

”I was like, ‘What are you doing? You’ve fucked this for us!’, I didn’t even recognize her in the room. And then thank God, we got the part. And that’s why she’s wearing this wig, this very offensive wig throughout the film…”

Why did she shave her head during casting for this movie? We can’t not ask…

“I don’t know. I don’t know. She was having a moment. She’s a very smart, progressive woman, and she was feeling her oats,” Isabelle laughs.

Despite the traumas of the prosthetics and the shoot, Isabelle has clear affection for the movie and a character who rings incredibly true even 20 years later, largely because of her authentic performance “It connects still to this day with people who weren’t even born when it came out. And that’s always shocking to me,” she says.

So what would today’s Katharine Isabelle tell her 17 year old self, 20 years ago?

“Oh, God. Fucking suck it up, you whiny bitch.” she says, all wolf-Ginger before swapping back to pre-transformation Ginger. “No, I would be like, ‘Yo, this is good, and you’re going to be okay. You’re gonna be good, and you’re not going to hate yourself as much as you think you do. And eventually, in 17 years, you’ll be able to watch this without having a total meltdown about how obviously terrible and insecure you are.”

She pauses.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“Isn’t that what everyone says to themselves 20 years ago? ‘You’ll be okay, don’t be so insecure, believe in yourself, you got this?’ I think that’s what everyone would say to their younger self. Also, ask for more money.”

The post How Ginger Snaps Explored the Subversive Horror of Womanhood appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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ngame989 · 5 years

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Starco Fic Recs

Disclaimer: This list is largely curated to my own personal preferences (minimal feelings angst, minimal AUs, character development >>> plot) and has a fairly high bar for quality in characterization, etc. There will likely be many popular/beloved fics that I really don’t think highly of at all and therefore don’t make the cut. Feel free to DM me things you think I should consider adding, but I make no promises.

And of course I’d be flattered if you gave my own works a chance - stop by my About Me section for links! Thus far I’m particularly proud of the post-canon series I just started in collaboration with an awesome team, The Greatest Gift.

(Updated 9/26 - I decided to redo the list since people might appreciate seeing it in the tags again. To anyone whose own work is featured here that I haven’t personally responded to - I’m a tough critic with a lot of strong personal preferences so PLEASE do not take my gripes as condemnations of your skills - if they make the list at all, I think they’re worth a read!)

See below for the very thorough list!

Bolded titles indicate must-read.

Italicized titles indicate work is incomplete (in the case of continuous stories).

Asterisks indicate new additions from last update (3 for brand new, 1 for status update).

I’ve VERY loosely organized the categories by personal priority order this time around, but read the descriptions and decide for yourself!

Must-Reads

Forevermore - A Starco wedding story (with a bit of Jantom as well). Simply one of the best fics I’ve read in the fandom. I have no meaningful criticism to give it, and that’s the highest praise I can possibly give something.

Monarchs of Mewni (+ Traditionally Lovingly Yours) - A series of chronologically disconnected oneshots set years after the show. The backstory is very dated given how long ago it started (Jarco was kinda serious for a few years, Tomstar v2 never happened, etc) but overall it’s lovely. Has a bit of plot, a bit of Jantom, a lot of other character interactions, and a boatload of Starco - plus a Starco kid who is a decently developed character but also doesn’t just take over and crowd out Star and Marco themselves! That alone deserves merit.

Ruined - Aftermath of a hypothetical return of Monster Arm. Angst with a happy ending (and one of the few angsty fics that gets my seal of approval), so read this extra early if that’s more your schtick than mine.

study buddies - Y’know what, fuck it, I’m putting this here. It’s a short ball of Starco fluff but it’s one of the sweetest and fluffiest fluffballs I’ve seen in a long time and it’s very emotionally immersive and y’all needa read it.

*When Two Worlds Collide - One of my favorite postcanon series thus far. I admit I’m really not big on “magic returns!” plots in postcanon (which this has), and the sections that focus on that are hit or miss for me, but overall it has some of the funnest and cutest characterization and gags I’ve seen in any SVTFOE fic, ever. Absolutely worth following (and it has a fair amount of art to go along with it!)

***Star Chef - Oneshot (two chapters, so twoshot technically?) set in the same universe as Starlight Justiciar (see below) and is just a day in the life of Star and Marco. Goes absolutely above and beyond at emotional immersion and little nuances and details to bring the world and characters to life, which elevates it to something special to me.

Light of the Sun and Stars - (Promoted to Must-Read!) One of the few heavily divergent AU fics I care for. Marco is an orphan raised by monsters, and meets Star after running away. Just finished its “first season” and I've loved the recent chapters, am very excited to see where it goes.

*Don’t You Let Me Go - Wonderfully fluffy post-Cleaved Starco, one of my favorite oneshot “epilogues”.

i want to tell you (but i don’t know how) - Post season 3 fic detailing the growth of Star and Marco’s relationship. It’s spectacular writing and shows off a lot of the true depth of Starco beyond just being cute.

Adult - NSFW warning, non-explicit (aged-up characters). It’s a story about the journey towards Star and Marco’s first step into adulthood together - it’s not graphic and way more focused on the emotions involved, but it still is definitely more explicit than your average FFnet rated-T fic. If sexual themes ain’t your thing, I totally respect that, but this is a charming and funny piece of writing.

Lawchan’s various oneshots - There isn’t a great compilation for them right now so the best I can do is give you her tag for it and you can comb through it yourself. I like some more than others here, but they’re all very well-written - my only gripes with some of them are my own tastes in subject matter, so have fun perusing this on your own.

I Will Always Be There For You - A really pure and wholesome Starco oneshot. Very well-written.

Post-Canon Series to Follow

I figured with the show being over, and so many people starting their own series, I should include a lot of them here even if I’m personally not the biggest fan just to help gather them up so people can decide for themselves. Little bit looser on judgment here.

*Life on Earthni A to Z - Non-chronological postcanon slice of life oneshots, Starco and some Globclipsa and Jantom. Overall really good so far, one of my favorites in terms of direction.

*When Dimensions Cleave (sequel - Unforgettable Getaway) - Another postcanon series hellbent on bringing back magic queen lore, but it has some solid Starco fluff still. Credit where it’s due, the “Star constantly freaking out over what a horrible person she was” bit that I called preachy in the prior rec post gets somewhat less preachy and does end up actually going somewhere as part of character development, but I’m left scratching my head at how they all act sometimes. The good parts are certainly good, though, and in terms of quantity of lovey dovey Starco, it really can’t be beat (especially the sequel) and that’s worth something by itself.

We’re a Miracle - Extra adorkable postcanon fluff. Lighter on the “but ACKSHUALLY MAGIC IS BACK” stuff compared to the others, but it’s there, like almost every postcanon fic in existence.

Star vs the Sands of Time - Heavy politic/lore postcanon fic, not my fav but if that’s more your thing then great. Has some casual Starco too.

Goodbye Isn’t Forever - More POV dives into Cleaved.

Fake Proposal - Some decent jokey but cute fluff

The Stars Above - Some exploration of Earthni

New World - A bit over-the-top meta, but fun fluff

The Starlight Justiciar - Four years after canon, some social change plot stuff and some decent Starco. Not the biggest fan of some of the plot stuff but check it out for yourself!

Starco vs the Forces of Evil - Another collab fic/art thing. Fair warning, I really am not personally a huge fan of a lot of the characterization and plot decisions here (see my notes on Sign of the Moon waaaay down below) but decide for yourself, don’t let my pickiness dictate your own preferences!

Ready For The Future - Technically a oneshot (with some Starco) but sets up some Mina plot, if you’re interested in more give it a follow/review.

Worlds Together - Some Starco and exploration of Earthni.

Epilogue - Some Starco and exploration of Earthni.

***A Dark Horse - Has a few really nice lovey dovey Starco bits but also lots of superdrama with politics stuff. There’s a lot of fics here that I honestly just windowshop the scene I like for a quick fix of dopamine every now and then and skim at most otherwise, and this is one.

Revolution - end of canon AU where Moon is as anti-monster as Mina, dark as fuck. Only putting it here cuz some of y’all angstlords might like it.

Shorter Works/Oneshot Collections

I’ll Carry Your World - Big ole’ ball of wonderful Starco fluff with an important moment between them (written before end of show so a bit divergent).

***LoveIsTheStrongestKindOfMagic - Very short and basic fluff.

Starco Week 5 (Hugs Included) - Some of it is postcanon Earthni oneshots and others are from the Light of the Sun and Stars AU (see above). Great author, fun as hell writing style.

Fragile - Star worries about keeping her boyfriend Marco safe.

Complete - An older Star reflects on her past and present. Short and sweet.

Knighthood - Simple fluff piece on if Star and Marco got together after Storm the Castle.

Too Hot to Move - Star and Marco try to survive a heat wave on Earthni. Also funny fluff.

Marco Make-out Mayhem - Star really likes kissing Marco. Funny fluff.

Cleaved Together - NSFW warning, non-explicit (aged up) - Star and Marco’s first time. Very very overly focused on the whole purity/sacredness of first time thing, but still pretty cute.

Like Us - Really nice, sweet casual reflection on her life with Marco from a future Star’s POV.Toothpaste Kisses - Short fluff about its title.

A Friend’s Memento - Starco fluff with some reflection on the results of destroying magic

Plum Pie - Some goofy antics and hurt/comfort.

Not Losing You - A little dive into Marco’s POV at the end of Cleaved. Also adds a kiss.

We Belong Together - More speculative slightly angsty comfort/fluff.

Enough - A nice study of the emotions and thoughts during the last scenes of Cleaved, adds some depth to it.

Heartless - A bit of angst over magic going away with some sweet Starco comfort.

Together - Post-Cleaved Starco megafluff.

My Prince - Starco fluff set in a world where they were together before Cornonation.

Dancing with a Star - Starco fluff from alt S4.

Love in the Time of Pancakes - Written hours after my last update of the list, another little ditty based on the pancake promo.

Pancakes - Fluffy S4-promo-based little oneshot.

Hers - Hurt/comfort/confession-y fic, has some really nice moments and shows off a lot of how much they care about each other. Nice to see after such a drought.

Someone to Stay - Another hurt/comfort fic, nice and simple.

A Viola, a Violin, and a Butterfly’s Sword - some nonlinear oneshots about Starco. Some kinda weird directions gone in with the “plot” but it’s pretty good overall.

Falling - One of many, many fics from throughout the fandom’s history about Star and Marco getting together. Short and sweet.

forget about white horses & once upon a time - Drabble collection of various moments scattered throughout Star and Marco’s lives. Cute fluff.

The One Where I Thought I Lost You - Post-BFM fic where Marco realizes his feelings for Star earlier. Very wholesome.

christmases when you were mine - Established relationship fluff.

lightning in your veins, thunder in your heart - Post-season 3 established relationship fluff (slightly divergent, written before 3B).

once upon a december - Established relationship fluff.

Flags - Alternate rendition of the episode “Flags” with Starco.

Spells and Hot Chocolate - Wintry fluff.

5 Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ - Post BFM with some events in Star and Marco’s lives.

You’re My Wish Come True - This is just indulgent Starco trash. I won’t even argue for the characterization/writing quality, this is just a straight-up guilty pleasure.

Wands and Nachos - ^

The Princess and the Safe Kid - ^

A Day in the Life of Starco - ^

A very Starco Xmas - ^

Could It Be -^

All the times Star wore Marco’s hoodie - ^

Protect Me, Squire - ^

Crushed - Star and Marco both get turned down by their respective crushes and find comfort in each other.

Stay - Cuddly fluff. There’s another Stay out there which I frankly can’t stand with will-they-won’t-they melodrama out the wazoo, so don’t get confused.

Longer Series

*The Inescapable Us - Really tropey miscommunication will-they-won’t-they type of thing. Not my fav, especially now that the show is over and finished that leg of Star and Marco’s story once and for all (I’m personally WAY less interested in things that redo something canon already did). However, where it’s at now has some really good Starco moments. Fully admitted that I hella skimmed most of it until the parts I enjoyed, but And if you’re more fine with that type of thing then you’ll probably really like it, it’s well-written otherwise.

Together We Fall - Throwback S2 AU fic where Star and Marco go to the dance together instead and Toffee makes moves earlier. Gets kinda dark but has a lot of nice Starco along the way.

Safer, Sorrier - A recent rewrite of an older fic, Better Safe Than Sorry, where Star has to leave early to become queen and Marco is alone for a few months before they reunite. A very dated premise (post season 1 ish) but quite good.

Sugar and Spice - NSFW warning, non-explicit (NOT aged-up characters). In this fic, Star and Marco have gotten together after BFM, and a spell gone wrong leads to Mewberty relapses with obvious consequences. This fic has adorable Starco moments, but what I love this for above all is the other character interactions (especially Glossaryck and Star’s parents). This is probably a controversial add-on to the list, but I stick by my decision - if the subject matter isn’t your thing, then by all means avoid it.

Beyond Dimensions - Plotfic + established Starco where some ancient sorceress has to trap Star to escape and try to take over Mewni. Maybe y'all are more into plot stuff than me but the Starco that’s there is quite good regardless.

Starfall - NSFW warning, explicit (aged-up characters). Probably the most popular one to make the cut. Star and Marco are forced apart and have to find their way back together. Very old fic, lot of dated stuff here, and the narration and plot itself can get kinda questionable sometimes, but it has a lot of good Starco and some interesting plot elements that make it, in my opinion, worth a read despite a lot of flaws. A few epilogue chapters contain rather explicit sexual content, so be wary of that (and the epilogue itself after Ep 6 kinda transitions into a nextgenverse, so maybe just skip that entirely).

The Star Butterfly Effect - The sole fic on the list that is purely plot-based, with very little actual Starco development whatsoever. I can’t even really explain it, just give it a shot and see what you think; I was rather engrossed by the plot, and that’s rare for me.

The Princess and her Knight, Return of the Empire The former fic in this series is way more character-based, while the latter is very heavy plot stuff. Pretty decent character writing with some fluff. There’s a third that I honestly can’t recommend because I completely dropped it because it was just a nonstop war story.

Experimental - REALLY heavy, dark AU where Star and Marco are tortured and corrupted. It’s pretty decent.

Blood Moon Blitz - Alt BFM fic of Marco going to fight Toffee with Star. unfortunately dropped without completing, but what’s there is pretty solid.

Read at Your Own Risk…

The Sign of the Moon, The Dance of the Stars - Starts post-3A, involves the growth of Star and Marco’s relationship as they take on foes in and out of the castle and learn more about the Blood Moon. This series is rather… melodramatic, and there were some chapters and character interactions I flat out did not enjoy reading. But some people aren’t as strict on character interpretations as I am and would love such a long plot-based Starco fic, so overall I still will at least list it and let you decide for yourself. There might be a third entry in this series now, but I dropped it before then.

Photos - I hesitate to include this one here because the “Tom is a perfect angel who must sacrifice his love for Star” thing pisses me off. But just skip all that (and ignore the random “a part of me will always love Tom” line) and it’s a really nice post-s3 confession fic.

#starco #svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #fanfic #ngame

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ifeveristoday · 4 years

Text

you are the vessel and she’s the life

Okay. When I first read issue #3, I did not like it. The art continues to be amazing, the colors glorious and they add to the atmosphere of the Hellmouth world - but I felt at first read, this was a weaker installment for the non-movement of the plot. If Hellmouth was a longer arc, I would have less issues because Jordie & Jeremy are developing Buffy and Angel, and giving the space for the audience to learn more about them, just as other characters are being brought into the spotlight for the namesake comics. I want to learn more about Kendra, Jenny, Fred, Gunn, et al. But it’s also a valid criticism that Buffy was missing from her story, long before Hellmouth began.

To compare Buffy (the intellectual property) to another cultural juggernaut for a minute - Star Wars. The reboots, the prequels, the ever-expanding universe - it’s all Star Wars, no matter what fans may feel about certain portions of it. But I see a lot of the same argument leveled at the Boom!verse that I do about Star Wars - ‘it doesn’t feel like ________________’, or ‘that’s not my Buffy.’ I’ve certainly done my fair share of completely ignoring/complaining about the Dark Horse ‘canonically approved’ verse, so I get it. And I think just by the nature of a reboot, there are so many expectations, especially when you use the same characters. And IMO, Jordie and co. have been doing an admirable job of balancing their version of Sunnydale vs. memories/nostalgia of the TV canon.

The point is to remake something for a new audience while respecting the source for the ‘original’ (whatever that means) fans. And it’s such a rich world with many characters to play with, and lots of different ways to explore themes that the show didn’t, or botched/dismissed. It’s a daunting experience to adapt, I’m sure - and I’ve been enjoying reading what Jordie has been doing with character development and the emotional beats of a story. The characters do feel like they exist in 2019.

However, with this issue, I felt like there was retread/not enough of a building on the momentum that Issues 1 and 2 had, along with a last-minute feel of a brand new original character, and some in-jokes that didn’t really add anything. This was my first reaction. Then I read it again, and with the other Hellmouth issues.

Major spoilers underneath the cut.

Back to my earlier point about Buffy being missing from her story - we still don’t know very much about Buffy’s backstory but that was never the point of her character, she was always very much in the now. The earlier issues had her in full Slayer mode with little intervals of an awkward, uncertain teenager! Buffy, and the last time she gets to hang out and do teenager things, Xander gets turned. And we didn’t really see the fallout in terms of Buffy’s feelings about it - but we did get very much appreciated insight into Willow and Xander’s characters.

Then Buffy flings herself into the Hellmouth, after feeling estranged from Willow and dealing with a lot of unspoken guilt/shame. Oh no, not like TV Canon Buffy at all.

However, the break from the Scoobies and entering the Hellmouth brought out Buffy Summers in all her confused, messy, intense bravery. Here was the girl who quipped malapropisms, made up sassy nicknames and leaped into the fray, fists first. And here was the girl who’s self-aware that her impetuousness and desire to save people also hurts the people she loves because she pushes them away - both out of necessity and because it’s her job. It’s a common refrain throughout the run of the series, emphasized by Giles and repeated by Buffy - she has to do this, and often alone - she’s the first responder in the apocalypse.

Heroine complex, man.

And then she meets LA’s finest, the dark knight, Mr. Hunchy Shoulders Guy - Angel. I’ve said it before, Bryan Edward Hill’s decision to have Angel meet Buffy cold, with an already established backstory of his own and then Jordie carrying that over into the Hellmouth event really changes the Buffy and Angel dynamic in the Boom!verse. A welcome change, and then when the portents/prophecies kick in, Angel dismisses them completely. His no-nonsense, I’m just here to do a job and then I’m out mode is amusing to me, because obviously, this is going to end up in romantic comedy land, just with a higher body count and lots of blood.

Buffy and Angel in TV canon never really got that light-hearted, getting-to-know-you phase because there was always the pall of forbidden love/gothic angst/and willful misunderstandings on both parties, never mind the interference/concerns and complaints from the people who loved them.

In Hellmouth, not only do Buffy and Angel get developed as characters, so does their budding ‘work’ friends relationship. Their banter is just delightful to read, and they get to be vulnerable/honest (to a point) with each other, that they haven’t been able to do so with their respective friends. And as they’re fighting demons and tracking down Drusilla, it creates an understandably sudden bond that most likely wouldn’t have happened above ground. They’re the only ones who can stop the forces of evil and cover each other’s backs.

Except for the undead elephant in the room, that has been in the room since Angel first appeared in Sunnydale -

Angel is a vampire. Angel witnessed Drusilla attacking Xander -- and did nothing to stop it.

And he knew it was Drusilla and Spike.

That lie comes back to majorly haunt his ass in Issue #3. Drusilla gleefully tells Buffy that he saw the whole thing, and also he has this whole other name, Angelus, which Buffy completely mishears and then rounds on Angel, asking him pointedly if they need a moment, or can she do the job she’s here for.

The revelation that Angel didn’t stop Xander’s turning naturally pings Buffy’s anger defenses and she tells him actually, no, we’re not friends, you don’t know me (even though I vented my guts out to you and you know I’m a slayer and you give weird pep talks to try to make me feel better -- Issues 1 & 2) - and I think besides the fact that Angel stood by and did nothing, it’s also that he didn’t tell her. Angel not telling Buffy important things, lying by omission basically, breaks their fragile alliance.

But it’s not until the second lie.

Something that has been driving me nuts since the first issue is that Angel hasn’t revealed his Vampire self to Buffy. There’s different levels to the relationships Angel has cultivated so far in the Boom!verse - with Fred and Gunn, he’s an ally (reluctant on Gunn’s part) and a friend (Fred) and he’s upfront with them that he’s a vampire. But with Buffy, who is going to be a major part of his life (if any of the previous portents and prophecies are to go by), he holds off/and hides his vampire self. And the question is why? Buffy already has a friend who has a Vampire side, but Xander’s a special case because he can still pass as human.

And it’s humanity that pops up in this issue - I knew it was coming, due to Boom’s wildly spoilery summaries/previews, but the way it was delivered?

Auggie - I know he has a full demon name but I’m not typing it out - and I think his name is also derived from Augury which means an omen/sign of what will happen in the future, seemed out of place to me. I mean, okay having a hell hut in the middle of the Hellmouth is whimsical and not completely out of the realm of the Buffyverse tone, and demons just trying to demon with no ambition to destroy the world is always nice to see - I just felt the introduction of him was too McGuffiny. There already was a figure who could see into the future (two of them, if you count Fee Fee from Angel’s first issue, except she disappeared into the plot hole where women characters go in that issue) and the initial one who set Angel on this path: Lilith.

Having Angel strike up a random conversation with an essentially magic demon eight ball when he could have been searching for Buffy or Drusilla felt like an unwelcome departure from the main story. Yes, the revelation that Angel could achieve humanity through some terrible ritual is important, but also - do you believe a demon who’s making a stew out of unidentifiable parts in the middle of the Hellmouth and just casually drops that information?

Read the room, Angel. It’s probably a trap.

Back to the A-story, Buffy thinks the Cthulu shape-shifter demon is back when she sees the vision of the guys in her life attacking the women - Giles and Jenny, Eric and Joyce, and Xander and Willow.Just as the Demon Joyce taunted her about her absence causing more havoc than help, the Demon men call her out Greek Chorus style - Giles says, “Sunnydale burns, Sacrifice.” Xander tells her, “But we can stop all this. The mother awaits you.”Eric says, “Come. End this suffering.”

Buffy accuses Dru of orchestrating this, and she laughs and tells her, “This is the hellmouth. Adapt, won’t you? It’s adapted to you....these are your people. This your nightmare.”

Buffy denies it coming true, and Dru tells her that it may yet come true - and she’s left Sunnydale defenseless. A slayer without her friends. There are fouler things than beasts, above. There are men.

Who have become the puppets of the unseen Hellmother.

So Drusilla was a red herring, a pawn in the game of Evil Chess. And this bums me out because Dru as a tangible villain/opponent is more interesting to me than another shadowy doom voice from the ether. Hellmother? Really?

This is where the reboot kind of loses me - Buffy’s greatest villains have been the ones who were personal to her, not as in just wanting to kill her, but an active part of her life. Dru (and by extension, Spike) in the Boom!verse would qualify because of what she did to Xander and threatening her mother. Dru being the front of a disembodied voice (that probably will take form in the next two issues) is a letdown. It’s the First Evil again.

The side effect of the men being turned into malevolent goons - okay, that is scary, but are we talking the Pack/Billy scary? (aka not very good episodes of either show because they either pulled punches or handwaved consequences)

Buffy teams up with Drusilla, which was unexpected, but at this point in the game, Buffy doesn’t have that many options. Her friend is missing (and it’s telling that even though she was hurt by the knowledge Angel did nothing to prevent Xander’s turning, she still refers to him as a friend to Drusilla. It might not be true forgiveness, but she was willing to move on, just for the sake of finding him and working to stop this mess.) And she keeps on reminding herself, these demons are not her friends, and are not real.

Which brings us to the final act - in more ways than one. Angel gets ambushed by a bunch of orc looking vampires, and finally goes Not Today, Satan on them.

And of course Buffy spots him on a mound of corpses, in full vamp face.

As much as I’m disappointed with the way Angel’s vampirism is revealed, it had to happen, and I have to admit, those last pages and panels are incredibly vivid and affecting.

Angel’s outstretched human hands covered in blood?

Buffy’s disbelief and then hardened look of disgust and her, “Don’t touch me.”

Goddammit.

Jordie and Jeremy have specific repetitions that I find interesting in terms of character development and where I think the plot is going -

Friends - the potential loss of them, the making of them, who to trust and how personal actions always have a consequence in relation to friends - Buffy is down on herself because she pushes people away and tried to lone wolf and it always, always blows up in her face, so this new thing with Angel is Buffy trying something new - trusting the other person so she can trust herself (because even though Willow and Xander are helpful and her besties, Buffy still can’t fully trust them with the fighting of evil because of her Slayer nature and belief that it’s her sole responsibility. She’s never had friends like that before. Angel has an equivalent strength to hers and already knows the evil game.)

So this issue blowing up all those tentative friend bridges?

Fucking painful. Because now it feels like Buffy was right - she can’t trust Angel, he’s not a friend, because why would he lie? Why didn’t he stop Drusilla? They clearly have a history. Has he been in on this from the beginning?

Buffy is alone, again.

And Angel? Who the fuck knows. Buffy has become important to him in a short amount of time, and it still needs to be addressed why he did nothing to save Xander. He was already on the saving gig, and was it because he knew Spike and Dru that he let it pass out of...familial bonds? That still doesn’t jibe with what he’s atoning for now.

As always, thanks to @jenny-calendar for being there for me to figure out all these fiddly parts. I still think this is the weakest issue of Hellmouth, and I’m not as confident as I was before in thinking it’ll be wrapped up neatly in the last two issues - but I hope this doesn’t signal the end of crossovers, and that the relationship wherever it goes, continues to develop over both of their lines. But I dislike it less on reread.

And Buffy better make an appearance in Ring of Fire, damn it.

AND WHERE IS CAMAZOTZ?

#buffy comics #boom! studios #hellmouth #boom! verse #meta #tldr summary i didn't like it as much as i did the first two #but i didn't hate it either #reactions and reviews #spoilers and reactions #angel in boom! land #angel done fucked up #disaster grumpy bats

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some-cookie-crumbz · 5 years

Note

I really love the Kidge Child HCs, I honestly can't get enough of them! Do you have any Grandma Krolia headcanons? Or headcanons for the rest of the Paladins?

REMEMBER HOW I JUST SAID THIS WAS COMING SOON?? IT’S FINALLY HERE, EVERYBODY!!!!!

First, for those who may not have seen my other posts, here are the links to all my other Headcanon posts.

Kidge Married Pre-Babies: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.1: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.2: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.3: [here] *There’s a little angst in this one, FYI

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.4: [here]

Kidge w/ Babies Part 2.5: [here]

I’m gonna go the full monty with thisone; we’re taking about the kids with Krolia, Sam, Colleen, Matt, the Paladins(and any/all of their children), and all the other peripheral people involvedwith them! This is gonna be a little bit of a longer one, as such, but I wantto be as thorough as possible!

Also, mentioning this here, but there will also be mentionsof Shatt (I have two sets of headcanons for Shiro and Matt, both as a coupleand in relationships with other people, but don’t want to have to write downboth alternatives), Hunay, and Allurance, as well as me talking a little bitabout their respective families, so be aware.

The order will be as such; Krolia, Sam and Colleen, Matt andShiro, Hunk and Shay, Lance and Allura, Coran, Romelle, Kolivan and Slav.

Krolia

As I know I’ve mentioned in my previous parts, the kidsrefer to Krolia as “Nana Olia”. Amber was the one who started it – obvious, asshe’s the oldest – because, when trying to say Krolia’s name, she couldn’t getthe “Kuh” sound right, gave up, and opted into the part of her name that shecould pronounce. The other kids follow Amber’s lead because she’s their bigsister. Krolia loves having a special name that only the kids use for her.

So, being a grandma was never something Krolia ever thoughtshe’d get the chance to be, but she absolutely loves it. Part of this is because she gets to come over and engage withthe grandbabies at an age she didn’t get to with Keith, which is bittersweet.She comes over to visit as often as she can and loves playing with the kids;specifically, she loves taking the kids to the park and going on little walkswith them. She’ll admit in private that she has a soft spot for Kaden – due tohow much he looks like Keith – but she loves each of her grandkids equally.

So, for each of the kids, Krolia goes on the harrowingsearch for more luxite mineral to get them each their own brand new blades.Amber and Kaden are the two who make the most use of theirs; Newt keeps his incase he gets himself in a hairy situation, and Aria keeps hers mounted in herroom for safe keeping.

In regards to Amber, she absolutely adores what a fiestylittle thing she is. She often remarks that Amber carries in her the fire ofthe ancients in her, remarking that she’ll certain accomplish great things inher future. Krolia is absolutely correct about this, but that’ll be somethingwe talk about in later posts. She always starts their little training sessionswith a small meditation session to help get Amber grounded, and this actuallybecomes something that Amber implements in her every day; especially onstressful days. Krolia enjoys teaching her how to properly use her luxite bladeand teaching her about what, exactly, being a successful Blade member entails.

She never admits that Amber wouldn’t be the best atespionage due to how short-tempered she is, but she still loves how enthralledAmber gets to hear her stories.

Kaden breaks her heart in some of the harder ways during hisinfant and toddler years, simply because watching him interact with the worldis a physical mirror to what it looked like with Keith at that age, and shemissed out on all of that. She admits this to Keith and Pidge, who both trytheir best to help comfort her. As Kaden gets older, he becomes equallyinterested in the lessons she does with Amber, so she starts training both ofthem. He’s also a bit more interested in their Galran heritage and the historyof the Blade; including how long their Galran family had been involved and ifthere were any relatives of notoriety. This leaves her absolutely thrilled andshe’ll often tell him about their long family-lineage of involvement.

Kaden actually writes a history paper discussing his great,great, great, great grandfather, Tulore, for class. He got a perfect mark andgave it to Krolia to keep when it was returned.

Her relationship with Newt is a bit strange at first butdevelops much better as he gets older. At first, Krolia sees him as a littlehellion since he’s almost always a shrieking little grouch, and is very meekabout engaging with him. Due to what occurred when he was born and his infantilepersonality, she thinks this means that he’s much more delicate than hissiblings were, and she worries a lot about hurting him. Once he starts to getolder and his tears transform into tricks, she sees how clever he is and findsit entertaining. Something about a child constantly outwitting his parents andsiblings is entertaining.

She’ll occasionally bring him materials from other planetsto help improve his pranks; taking the time to explain how he safely use it, ofcourse.

Aria is a bit of an odd duck when it comes to Krolia,specifically because of how drastically different she is from her siblings. Herbeing such a delicate little thing makes Krolia hyper-aware of how she is withher, but the fact that she’s the clingiest, most affectionate of her siblings?Oh, Krolia loves nothing more than getting to snuggle up with her littlegrandbabies. Additionally, small footnote, but Aria and Krolia share a distainfor the snow. Krolia lived her years on Earth in the desert and she tends toprefer warmer climates in general. During the wintery season, she’ll oftenhunker down in the house with Aria is the other kids want to go play in thesnow, sipping cocoa and playing with her inside.

She teaches Aria a lot of old Galran lullabies, as well asactually teaching her their language, too.

Sam and Colleen

For the Holts, the kids call them “Nanny” and “Pappy”.Sometimes they’ll use their names as well, but since they have different titlesfor their grandparents, it’s not always needed. When they do add the names,they’re “Nanny Collie” and “Pappy Sammy”.

Being grandparents was something Colleen and Samuel had beenhyped for the minute their kids got into serious committed relationships. They’rerespectful and understanding to the situation, of course, but there’s a secretbetting pool between them on which of their kids will yield grandkids first.Colleen loses because she bets on Matt and Shiro, banking on the fact she knewthe two of them had been having more active conversations about it than shethought Pidge and Keith were. Samuel banked on it being Pidge and Keith morebecause he’d noticed the subtle things; Pidge looking at baby clothes whenparoozing the mall, Keith making the throw-away comment about what kind ofthemes he think would be cute for a nursery, etc.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but Colleen knits littlebaby blankets for all the little Kidgelings, using colors that arerepresentative of the respective season they were born in. Samuel also does alittle crafty thing for them; he makes little ceramic ornaments of the kidsfeet when each of them after they’re born.

So, Amber is probably just a little bit closer to Colleenthan Samuel, but it’s a very slim margin. As I’ve mentioned, she tends to helpKeith with tending to their garden and yard at home. When she goes over tovisit with the Holt’s, she loves seeing what latest new flower or vegetableNanny has introduced to her garden. During the summer, Amber will also drop inunannounced to help Colleen take care of pulling weeds and such, since sheknows it can be hard for her.

With Samuel, Amber explores an interest in space travel andwhat, exactly, that entails. Pidge and Keith will tell the kids stories abouttheir time as Paladins, but they don’t talk about the really difficult andfrightening missions, and they don’t necessarily encourage the kids to followin their footsteps. As she gets older, Amber is a bit more aware of herparents’ apprehension, so most of her interest is only ever explored underPappy’s watchful eye. He tells her about the things he’s seen, the ships he’spiloted and helped to build, and occasionally sneaks her onto the Garrison baseto fly simulators. Samuel keeps this all secret from Pidge and Keith, though,because he thinks they’d be terrified at just how skilled their daughter is.Amber never outright asks him to keep this under wraps, but she appreciatesthat he does.

Kaden’s naturally reserved demeanor leads him towards morequiet hobbies, but also ones that are a bit more hands-on. Much like withKeith, Kaden bonds with Samuel about making models, but with Samuel it’s moreclassic vehicle models such as old trains or boats. They’ll typically sit withsome soft music playing in the background, but as Kaden gets older they’lloccasionally have more conversations about whatever’s going on in their livesat the time. It’s mostly just pre-teen angst and post-retirement gossip, butit’s nice and Kaden enjoys it.

As for Colleen, she bonds with him over painting, actually!Kaden’s not very good at drawing with a pen or pencil, but he’s pretty good atdoing landscapes with paint. I like the idea that Colleen was a hobbyist whoused painting as a form of stress relief, and she ends up passing this on toKaden. She’ll show him all the little tips and tricks she’s figured out for herown, and he’s always happy to take her advice. Colleen likes to hang some ofher favorites of his paintings in her office at work and, upon retiring, shekeeps them hanging in the guest room of the house. It always makes Kaden superembarrassed but also super flattered by it.

So, Newt’s cheeky and mischievous nature make him prettygood at things that require a high level of trickery; this includes poker,which he’s taught by his Nanny. Colleen actually tries out a couple ofdifferent card games with him – War, Uno, Spoons,etc. – but poker ends up being the one that Newt enjoys the most. The kid justloves getting to be a sneaky little shit, and he’s incredibly skilled with hispoker face. Colleen takes him with her sometimes for her weekly poker gameswith her friends and he usually makes a killing in hard, caramel candies.

With Samuel, he enjoys playing more tactical, contemplativegames, such as Risk and Clue. Newt has inherited Pidge’sinquisitive nature, but also ends up developing a huge fascination withmysteries and scandals and such. He likes the idea of breaking down lies anddeceit used for malicious intentions, inheriting his Dad’s sense of morality.He may be a little shit who likes to prank and tease his family, but he’s alittle shit for Great Justice™. One time, for the fun of it, Samuel hide aplaque he received upon his retirement and pretended it got stolen for Newt toinvestigate. During his investigation, Newt uncovered that one of the Holt’sneighbor’s was involved in helping with human trafficking.

So, since Aria’s the family oddball, she ends up with someodd interests that she shares with her grandparents, too. With Sam, they bondover researching old, classic amusement park rides and innovations,interestingly enough. While Aria isn’t a big fan of mechanics or engineering,she finds the lore and developments of entertainment technology to beabsolutely fantasy, and I headcanon that Samuel was a total theme park fan boyin his younger years. They’ll watch videos and documentaries, and one time theyactually broke into an abandoned amusement park to take pictures and videos ofhow far dilapidated the place got.

With Colleen, they learn how to make special effects propstogether. One of the little troops Ari attends for her performances is short onstage hands, so Colleen volunteers to help, and sometimes the cast have to helptoo. Part of this requires masks and other such things, but because the Holt’srun under the mantra of “Go Big or Go Home”, they become super invested in thequality of their work. They watch tutorials, take classes, watch tons of Face Off on Sci-Fi, and, of course, learnfrom some level of trial and error. Ari’s group put on Beauty and the Beast once and they actually had to remake theBeast’s face piece because the mask was deemed too realistic and terrifying forthe grade schoolers that would be coming to see it. During Halloween, Ari andColleen also end up creating the scariest haunted house in the town with howrealistic they make the make-up look. Especially zombie-with-head-axe Amber,who is surprisingly dedicated to her role.

Shiro and Matt

Mkay, so, I’m not going to get into all my Shatt headcanonshere, but I will give a brief overview of their family and their relationshipswith the Kidgelings. So, I headcanon that Shiro and Matt have three kids; a setof twins – one boy and one girl – and a second daughter; names are Akihiko,Auryon and Hikari respectively. The twins are born in the gap between Amber andKaden, placing them about a year and a half younger than Amber and a year or soolder than Kaden, while Hikari is born the same year as Newt, but at the tailend of the year. The children are biologically Shiro and Matt’s, born throughwhatever means is most comfortable to the viewer. I’m sure Altean tech could beadvanced enough to allow this sort of thing, or one of them could be trans. Ipersonally love Trans!Character headcanons but that’s just me.

So anyway! We’ll start with Shiro, then Matt, and then I’lldo small notes about the relationship between the cousins.

I mentioned this in my last post and said I’d elaboratehere, so here we go! Amber talks with Shiro a lot about sexuality and thestruggles that come with it. Keith and Pidge are completely supportive of theirdaughter, and she’s fine talking with them, but sometimes she likes getting totalk to Shiro about it. I’ve always headcanoned that Shiro is someone who isincredibly comfortable in his own skin and simply saw his sexuality as oneother part that made him who he was, and never shied away from that. It’s thatconfidence in himself that makes him so easy to talk to for Amber.Additionally, Shiro being a bit more of a modest and well-spoken sort – whereUncle Matt is a bombastic disaster – makes him a bit easier to talk to aboutwhat’s going on in her head. They tend to gossip all the time and Shiro, who isattentive to those he cares about, always remembers the stories about herclassmates and crushes that she shares with him. Aside from those talks, Shiroalso bonds with her over helping her a bit with her classical literaturereadings for school, because she finds the classics dull but I think Shirowould really respect those pieces himself. He mostly just helps her by lettingher bounce thoughts off of him and give her some additionally insight to thedifferent ways the pieces art interpreted.

Keith appreciates the help, since sometimes Amber can be abit stubborn and ill-tempered when she struggles with her homework, and Shiro’sa bit more patient.

As for Kaden, Shiro helps him a lot with his training forthe teams he joins and doing workouts. Once the kids are a bit older andindependent, Keith is able to pick his workout schedule back up and Shiro tendsto go along with him. As Kaden starts getting interested in sports and, byproxy, starts taking how well he maintains his physical health more seriously,he starts asking questions about it. Keith knows a decent amount, but admitsthat most of what he knows is from Shiro helping him out, which causes him togo ask Uncle Shiro his questions. From there, Shiro offers to help Kaden figureout his schedule to help keep him in peak form for his teams and such. Sometimesthey’ll work out all three of them, but more times than not it’s just Shiro andKaden, since Keith tends to get busy doing other things with the other kidswhen they’re gonna do their workouts. From the workouts, Shiro eventually endsup helping Kaden out specifically with his training for baseball. Shiro sees itas a good way to keep himself active, as well as pass along his own knowledge.Sometimes, he and Matt’s son, Akihiko, will join them, too.

This helps Aki and Kaden bond as well, but I’ll talk moreabout that later.

Newt is a bit of an anomaly when it comes to hisrelationship with Shiro. Between Uncle Shiro and Uncle Matt, he’s mostcertainly closer with Matt, but Newt very much loves his Uncle Shiro and findsa unique way to bond and help him. Much like a majority of people like to talkabout, I like the idea of Shiro benefitting from having a service animal.However, I also see Shiro as being someone who doesn’t like the idea of lettinghis weakness show; because he didn’t want his illness to hold him back when hewas younger, because he had to be in charge both with Voltron and later theAtlas, and in more recent times because he has three little babies of his ownto look after. I plan to write a fic about this, but Newt finds out aboutShiro’s situation and starts looking into what it takes to train a dog to be aproper service animal. He ends up adopting a young pup from one of theirneighbors, with Keith and Pidge agreeing, and starts working with specialiststo get the little pooch trained up to help Shiro cope with panic attacks andnight terrors he gets on a somewhat regular basis.

Shiro is absolutely floored but also incredibly touched bythe gesture. He ends up naming the little pooch Leia.

With Shiro and Aria, they bond over something a bit on theodd side. So, this was a headcanon that was inspired by a talk with my oldersister that I absolutely fell in love with. Shiro is a huge fan of theprohibition era style; speakeasies, mobster/gangster organizations, the wholeshebang is just wildly fascinating to him. Aria herself has a soft spot for theaesthetic and the Big Band sounds of the time. And, since Shiro is a big fan ofthat time period, he has a huge collection of music from the time period. The twoof them bond over it. One year, for Halloween, he actually helped her make hervery own flapper costume from scratch.

So, what about good ole’ Uncle Matt?

Matt and Amber bond over space travel, much like she doeswith Sam but on a drastically different note. He talks a lot with her about theworlds he got to visit with the Rebels and what all he learned. He teaches hera lot about different cultures and customs, different strategic approaches theytake and the like, as well as how to read the stars in some of the othergalaxies he’s traversed to. He and Keith have a few serious conversations aboutit, as Keith is highly uncomfortable with his kids taking an interest in spaceexploration, but Matt continues to do it anyway. After the fifth or sixthconversation, he just gets better at lying about it.

As for Matt and Kaden, they bond over medical training andmedical shows. As I mentioned before, Kaden becomes fascinated by the work ofEMTs and medical professionals after he breaks his arm. Matt, through both the Garrisonand the Rebellion, has a pretty decent wealth of knowledge on the subject. Heteaches Kaden how to do CPR properly, how to make a short-term splint forbroken bones, and other such things. In regards to programs, they watch tons ofHouse, Untold Stories of the ER and Scrubs.With the drama shows, they mostly just make fun of how ludicrous it is, whilefocusing on the diagnostics. With the reality-based shows, they enjoy seeinghow the case develops and the ultimate outcome. Sometimes Auryon will jointhem, just to have something to do, but that’s incredibly infrequent.

Newt and Matt go together like peanut butter and chocolate,to say the least, and they have the most shared interests. The big one theyshare on, though, is a love for all things Star Wars and Star Trek themed; theshows, the comics, even a couple of podcasts that talk about the lore of eachrespective series in depth. Newt likes Star Trek a bit more than Star Wars –and he really likes Captain Picard – while Matt is the opposite – with a hugeaffinity for Han Solo – and they like to tease one another good-naturedly aboutit pretty often. Other than that, Matt is his biggest helper when preparingLeia to be a proper service dog for Shiro when he gets the idea and is the oneto first suggest it to Keith and Pidge.

Lastly, Uncle Matt and Aria bond about her cheerleading,interestingly enough. I like the idea that Matt, despite being a bit of stringbean, was on the cheer team in his high school years. Back then, he wasn’t verygood at helping with the flyer stunts, but as an adult who has lived throughfighting with a rebellion and being a Dad to three kids? He can most certainlylift up his petite little niece to practice her flyer routine. Aki joins thecheerleading squad as well, so he’ll help out sometimes, too. Additionally,Matt played the violin, so sometimes they’ll do duets together. They typicallypick pieces where the cello takes the lead, as he hasn’t really kept up withplaying over the years, but also because it’s good practice for her.

Now, as for how they bond with their cousins, the dynamicsare interesting, to say the least.

Aki gets along well with Kaden and Aria the best, gets alongdecently well with Newt, but actually butts heads a lot with Amber. Aki’s alittle bit of a rebel and tends to get himself into a lot of trouble, whichAmber often times tries to dissuade him away from. And, if he doesn’t listen,she tends to be the one to narc on him. As they get older, she’ll typically goalong and have Hikari, his sister, record his stupid stunts and show them offlater. Many times, she’ll end up using it as either blackmail or showing it tohis parents without showing it to him first. Her favorite was the time when hewent to a party, got drunk underage, and face-planted doing a keg stand. Asmentioned before, he bonds with Kaden and Ari over baseball and cheerleading,respectively. He’s a bit more of a physical activities kind of kid, with apassion for those kinds of things visible since he’s young. With Newt, they don’thave a whole lot in common, but Aki still looks after him because he’s hiscousin and is also a smol. Newt also occasionally helps him with his mathhomework, since he struggles a bit with his academics.

As for Auryon, she gets along pretty well with all of themequally. With Amber, they bond a lot over the ideas of space travel. WhileAuryon herself isn’t particularly interested in engaging with travelling, shedoes find the way the now-unified galaxy operates, and how the unification effectseach different planet within the Coalition, which leads to some interestingconversations between them. Auryon and Kaden bond over, interestingly enough,martial arts and hand-to-hand combat training. She admires Amber’s eagerness tofight to protect her friends so she decides she wants to learn as well. Sinceshe and Kaden are a bit closer in age, he tends to be her sparring partner moretimes than not. With Newt, they share a passion for animals. Auryon actually hastwo ferrets – named Boo and Radley – that she loves to pieces and Newt happilyjoins her with playing with them and has even helped her with cleaning up theircages every now and again. With Ari, they actually bond over learning foreignlanguages. Specifically, they both learn Italian together, but Auryon alsolearns how to speak Japanese. Sometimes, she’ll translate songs from Japaneseto English for Ari to do covers of for her YouTube channel.

Hikari, as opposed to her brother and sister, is an artistictype with a decent relationship with all her cousins. She and Amber have thebiggest rift between them, due to the moderate age gap, but they enjoy makingher brother miserable. Like most little sister’s, Kari lives for teasing her brother. So, when Amber offers her theperfect chances to do that? She’ll be there with a camcorder in a heartbeat. With Kaden, she recordshe and Auryon’s sparring sessions to use as reference for some of heranimations. Additionally, Kaden enjoys just talking with her about his lovelife. I won’t go into too much about it here, but she offers him significantlymore practical advice than his other source of information coughAlforcough. WithNewt, he’s pretty good for sound boarding her ideas off of. While he’s workingon this or that, or training the dogs, she’ll settle in and just kind oframble. If he thinks something is dumb or needs more thought, he’ll say asmuch, which she appreciates. She and Ari bond over the aforementioned YouTubechannel. She helps record and edit together the music videos that Arioccasionally makes for the songs that she performs, as well as handling thedirectorial responsibilities. She loves getting to have the experience andreally enjoys how she and the rest of their little group work together.

Hunk and Shay

Much like with Shiro and Matt, just a quick rundown of theGarrett family! Hunk and Shay had two children together; one son named Richterand one daughter named Morganite. Richter is a few months younger than Amberand Morganite is a few months younger than Newt. The reason for the huge agegap between to the two siblings is due to another headcanon of mine, in whichthe less similar two alien races are, the more difficult it is to reproducesuccessfully. Galra, Altean and humans are all somewhat similar in geneticmake-up, so it’s easier for them to conceive, but since Balmerans can bedrastically different based upon their environment. Due to this, while it’sclearly capable, it is a bit of a struggle. They’d been trying long before anyof the others to conceive Richter, and are delighted when he’s born. They weren’tactually trying to conceive Morganite and view her as a happy accident.

So, let’s talk about Uncle Hunk for a moment or two!

In regards to Amber, Hunk is actually appreciative of whatan abrasive personality she is. He knows that Richter tends to be on the morereserved side, which makes him an easy target for bullies, but she’s alwaysthere to protect him. As a sort of repayment for how good of a friend she is tohis son, he tries to help teach her how to cook and bake. Kaden ends up joiningin the little lessons, too, simply out of interest to learn how so he can helpout more at home. Amber’s downright awful at anything culinary-themed, but withHunk’s help she ends up getting decent. She can’t do anything particularlyfancy or extravagant, but she can make meals without burning down the kitchenand those meals taste well enough to not leave her paying homage to the porcelainGods.

Kaden actually ends up being a lot better than Amber, aswell as being a bit better at baking than cooking. He can make some of the mostbeautiful multiple-layer cakes out there. When the extra-curricular activitieshe participates in do fundraising bake sales, he always volunteers to help makeproduct for sale. A lot of the time, Hunk will help him as well. They alwaysend up making asinine amounts of baked goods, but they also end up selling allof it, so it never goes to waste.

With Hunk and Newt, he gets to work with him on his roboticsprojects and such. Newt and Morganite end up joining the robotics club andalways work together on the projects they’re completing. Team Punk often getsback together to help the pair out. Hunk takes the time to really explain thenecessary components to create an engine that’ll allow the robot to do whatthey intended purpose is, as well as occasionally smuggling themGarrison-issued supplies that they probably shouldn’t have access to. Do thejudges at the competition need to know that? Absolutely not. And Hunk wouldn’t breathea word of it, even if he was asked.

So, we all know that Hunk is ultimately the beacon of peaceand unity that the universe truly deserves. As Ari gets older, she seeks Hunkout for advice and suggestions on better ways to approach conflict-resolution.This is due to how some of her friends – outside of the other Palababus – like totalk smack instead of just dealing with disagreements in a more civil approach.While Ari can certainly understand that sometimes being a little petty can helppeople get over things, when the problems start causing rifts and involvingmore members of their group, she feels the need to intervene. Hunk, who wasalways the Voice of Reason on Team Voltron, he can sympathize with her. Whilehe didn’t have to deal with too much of that, he knows how it can be whenothers are using little things as an excuse to be mad and cause furthertrouble.

I see Shay as being a very affectionate and doting mother,and that extends to all the children of their friends as well. I really lovethe idea that Shay, Allura and Romelle get super invested in trashy daytime televisionprograms like Maury and Jerry Springer and such. There’s even spaceversions where different alien species go on and the trio love to watch andcommentate. The Allurance kids find the shows the most interesting, thoughthere is a level of entertainment in it for Morganite, Newt and Ari as well. Richter,Amber and Kaden tend to spend more time with her learning about the legends ofthe Balmera of crystals and how to distinguish which types of crystal are goodfor what purposes.

Richter gets along best with Amber and Kaden, and sees Kadenas a pseudo-little brother. The three of them grow up running in the samecircle and, even as they get older, remain close. When Amber’s still reallyyoung and bad at controlling her temper, Richter’s the best at getting her tocalm down. He’s also the one who deals with the petty squabbles between she andAlfor the most often. When the kids play pretend, they take it very seriously.Richter’s really good at constructing stuff out of cardboard and buildingblocks, so when they have tons of play-props that he and Kaden have built and coloredtogether.

Last note, he’s a pretty big boy who certain could defend himself, but he’s just agentle giant. There’s something really cute and funny about this really big,sweet guy being protected by these smol little firecrackers.

Now, Morganite is closer with Newt and Aria; especially sowith Newt. As I’ve mentioned, Newt’s a bit stand-offish with other people, butshe sees beyond all that to what a sweetheart he actually is. At one point, he thinksthat she’s only his friend because their parents are friends, but he realizesthat she genuinely does like him. This allows their friendship to develop evenfurther and the two of them to actually focus on the many things they have incommon. Consider them to be Team Punk Version 2.0. Lastly, I mentioned this inmy last headcanon post, but Morganite is really talented at making jewelry andother accessories. She teaches Ari how to make them, as well as helping herfigure out which accessories are best for this or that situation.

Lance and Allura

Let’s get the little notes about the McClain-Altean Heirs outof the way first! Lance and Allura end up having five kids; Alfor, Raya,Coriander, Paige and Anthony. Alfor and Raya are each a few months younger thanAmber and Kaden respectively, Coriander and Paige are a few months older thanNewt and Aria respectively, and Anthony is about two years younger than Aria. Ioriginally planned for them to have six kids, but decided to cut Anthony’s twinbrother, Ben, from the equation simply due to the fact it felt like too manykids. Additionally, since I started this before season 8 dropped, this isn’tnecessarily compliant with that; though, admittedly, it could easily just be aslight deviation where Allura saves the universe without having to sacrificeherself. But I think that we’re all mostly in agreement that that who spiel wasa little lacking, yeah?

Anyway, let’s get in to it!

I can’t talk about Lance and Amber’s relationship nearly asmuch as I want to. Initially, while Lance doesn’t hate her, he does get a bitmiffed by how she and Alfor always seem to be at odds with one another. As thekids get older, though, Lance starts to see a bit of his own struggles in Amberand becomes a pretty good source of reassurance for her. Amber clearly wants tobe someone who does great things for others, like her parents, but is unsure ifshe’ll ever have her chance to. She also worries that her abrasive personalitywould prevent her from being a very good source of comfort, even if she did getinvolved in any kind of work like that. Lance is able to help reassure herthat, so long as she’s willing to work hard and dedicate herself, she’ll beable to accomplish her goals.

Kaden goes in a bit of different direction than his sister;Kaden’s leaning towards being reserved but typically pretty polite, Lance hasno problem with him. He isn’t as aggressive as Amber can be in his issues withAlfor or Raya, and even when they do, the most that ever happens in the way ofphysicality is knocked over drinks or water fights. In regards to bonding,Lance actually offers him little tips and tricks to help him with his drivingduring his soap box races. I like the idea that Lance liked go-cart racing inhis youth so he knows a little bit about how to maneuver a smaller vehicle.Keith greatly appreciates this, as his own experiences prior to meeting Shiroand attending the Garrison is limited.

Lance actually teaches Newt a lot about farm animals. It’skind of implied by how Lance knew how to deal with Kaltenecker, and is apopular headcanon that I’m fond of, but I like the idea that he came from afamily in which his mother was a successful business owner and his father rantheir successful farm. As such, growing up, Lance had a lot of first-handexperience with the ins and outs of how to care for barnyard animals. Newtlatches on to him so he can learn all that he can about cows, horses, chickens,goats, and any other animals. While Lance doesn’t actively work on the farm anymore – what with now being one of the ruling monarchs of New Altea/ living alife as a Garrison recruiter on Earth – he has a lot of fond memories of hisexperiences caring for animals, as well as finding Newt’s passion to beendearing. He specifically regales him with the tales of his favorite animalthey ever owned, a goat named Hoppie, who would scream at you when he wanted atreat and had a bad habit of hopping fences; including a hilarious time hejumped into the pig’s pen and got coated in mud.

As for Ari, he probably likes her the best, simply becauseshe tends to be around the most due to her friendship with his daughters. Whenthey have sleepovers, he’ll often be brought in to help with braiding hair,doing facials, painting nails, etc. He also occasionally helps out with thechoreography, costuming and music for Ari’s YouTube videos; specifically, withthe music, he’ll help with the balancing of the audio and occasionally offerback-up vocals. We’ve already seen how well Lance can… Put on a show, to put itlightly, so he’s got a lot of creative ideas to help Ari catch attention. Pidgeis the one who tends to step in and rein him in if she thinks his ideas aregetting a little too salacious.

Now, what about our favorite Altean royal?

Allura gets along with Amber a bit better that Lance does,simply by virtue of seeing that her son needs someone to call him out. Sheloves her son to pieces – he is her first born and her baby in general – but sheacknowledges that he has inherited his father’s ego from their youth, whichmeans he needs to occasionally be reminded that he isn’t the greatest thingever. She doesn’t always agree with how she goes about it, and is happy tovoice her opinion, but also finds Amber’s interest and skill with fighting tobe admirable. She helps to teach her some Altean combat moves, along with herteaching them to her own kids as well, and admires what a quick study she is.

Now, her and Kaden actually bond over something kind ofinteresting; superhero comic books. Of all the Earth literature that she checksout, I think that Allura would find comics to be incredibly interesting. Thestories, the characters, the situations that cause them to gain their powers,all of it just kind of amuses her; both the campy stuff and the more seriousstuff. This hobby of hers is one that she ends up getting to spend a lot oftime bonding with Anthony, she and Lance’s youngest son, as well as Kaden.Kaden’s favorite characters end up being Spiderman, because he’s super smartbut super snarky, and Captain America, because he’s so moral. Allura’sfavorites are Thor – which is shared between she and Anthony – and Storm. Oneyear for Halloween, actually, the three of them all dressed up as their faveswhen they went trick-or-treating.

Newt, being intelligent and having some interests similar tohis Mama, talks with Allura a lot about how, exactly, she developed Shiro’sprosthetic, as well as how the Castle Ship worked. He also talks with Coranabout this, but he likes to talk with Allura about it a bit more since she wasthe one who made the ship able to jump through wormholes. He’s absolutelyfascinated by the idea of technology and magic being melded together to theextent that it was with the Alteans. Due to his lack of Altean heritage, he can’tdo anything involving alchemy, but he still finds the practice to be absolutelyfascinating and loves listening to Allura talk about everything she’s learnedfor hours on end. Additionally, Alfor is the only one of the Allurance babiesthat inherits any Altean alchemic ability, so Newt will often sit in whenAllura’s working with him just to see how, exactly, it’s done.

Much as I mentioned before, Ari in the Kidgeling thatprobably spends the most time around the Allurance babies because she gets alongso well with the girls. Much like with Lance, she’ll join in for slumberparties, but she also likes to take the girls out for mani-pedis. Pidge enjoysoccasionally going out for pampering, but she’s not nearly as big into thatstuff as Aria is, and Allura is always more than happy to bring Aria along.Pidge is grateful because she wants Ari to be able to enjoy herself in herinterests. This is also good for Allura, as she sees her friends and their kidsas her family, and loves getting to spend time with all of them. Allura is alsothe one that takes the girls clothes shopping at the start of each new schoolyear, since Pidge loathes having togo shopping.

Alfor and Amber’s relationship is completely complicated.They absolutely love each other and will shank someone for bad-mouthing them,but they’d also happily roast each other until they’re a well-barbequed chickenthigh. As kids, they constantly bicker and butt heads because they’re bothincredibly stubborn and have huge egos, but as they get older and become moretempered, they’re more like caddy frenemies. There is a point where theirfriendship almost implodes on itself, but that’s something I intend to touch upon my final headcanon post coming out soon. Alfor gets along pretty well withKaden and Newt, as well. With Kaden, he takes on an older brother role andoften tries to help give him love advice, because he considers himself to be areal Casanova like his Daddy even though he’s never asked out Akihiko,who he has a HUGE crush on. With Newt, he actually really likes how hesits and watches his alchemy training. Newt will take notes and, through thesenotes, Alfor can often figure out what he was getting wrong when he’sstruggling. Alfor likes Ari, but he sees her more as his sister’s friend, so hedoesn’t really hang out with her much.

Raya is the Queen Bee of the little Girl Gang that is formedby the Palababus. While she and Amber don’t really spend a lot of time hangingout in their youth, there’s a sense of mutual respect for one another, and theydo become closer as they get older and get to know one another better. In theiryounger years, she always tries to include Amber in their activities, butnormally the older girl isn’t too terribly interested. Raya and Kaden havedrastically different interests and tend to not get along at all – due to Rayahaving a “little princess” personality and Kaden finding this annoying – thoughthey do grow to admire one another and become significantly closer during theirlate teens, as mentioned before. She and Newt don’t really talk much; shethinks he’s kind of weird and he thinks she’s a spoiled brat. Aria is theKidgeling she gets along with the best and, as I’ve mentioned before, looksafter her just as much as she does her own sisters. She helps Aria with herYouTube music videos, as well as helping her work on her cheerleading routinesand preparing for try-outs.

Coriander, much like her older sister, isn’t very close toAmber but has some respect for the older girl; though, admittedly, she thinksAmber can go a little overboard when she sticks her nose into a fight. It mightbe a little bit of a crush, but she never acts or speaks of it to anyone, andit fades relatively quickly. She also respects Kaden a lot, given hisreputation of being the Bullier of the Bullies, but is also a bit intimidatedby him. Due to her own tendency towards being a sociable and outgoing character,she finds Kaden’s quiet personality to be a bit unnerving. With Newt, she goes tohim and Morganite for some help with her academics, as she struggles a bit withscience and geography classes. Lastly, as I know I’ve mentioned multiple timesnow, but Ari gets along best with the Allurance girls. Since Cori is such asocial, outgoing girl who likes the spotlight, she ends up becoming a hugetheater kid. She’s not the best at musicals but she loves getting to do regularshows, and Ari always helps her with her lines. In return, when they domusicals, she helps push Ari to audition, as well as practice her songs/ linesonce she gets cast.

So now we get to the youngest little lady, Paige! Unlike hersiblings, she lacks the outgoing personality. She’s really sweet and friendlywith her friends, sure, and she gets along well enough with others, but she isn’tquite as interested in expanding her social circle like they are. She’s notreally passionate about it, but she does join the swim and volleyball. Herinterest in volleyball isn’t particularly big – most just doing it because sheknows how helpful extracurriculars are for college applications and such – but Amberstill helps her get ready for the team tryouts. She’s grateful for this,especially since Amber doesn’t once chide her for signing up for something justby virtue of being signed up for something. Paige is ambivalent to both theboys, though she does think that Newt’s fascination with Altean alchemy isweird. She really enjoys writing poems and actually goes to Kaden for hisopinion, since he’s the bluntest and most straight-forward person she knows, soshe knows his criticisms will always be his honest opinion. She has a huge softspot in her for cheesy romantic comedies – even the ones with awful writing –and she’ll happily marathon them with Ari. Sometimes the two of them just enjoygetting settled in nice and comfy and having themselves a squeal-fest.

Last, but certainly not least, is little Anthony! Anthony isan absolute Momma’s boy who talks a big game but will back down pretty quickwhen he knows he’s about to get smacked down. Due to how much younger than theother kids he is, he doesn’t really know Amber and Kaden all that well; mostlyjust knows what the kids say about them. At one point, after finding out he’sbeen dealing with some jerks at school, Amber outright tells him to just useher and Kaden as a threat to any potential bullies, and he actually does and itseems like enough to dissuade them from pestering him too much more. He ends upactually joining the local scout’s troop and goes to Newt for helpful tips onwhat to expect from the wildlife they encounter. Through this, he grows toreally admire how much care and effort Newt puts into learning about the thingshe’s interested in, and decides to do the same. He gets really passionate aboutdoing little magic tricks and slight-of-hand things. Aria ends up agreeing tobe his partner when he participates in shows and charity events and such. Also,instead of pulling a rabbit from his hat, Auryon will occasionally let himborrow Boo and Radley and he pulls them from the hat.

Coran

Now, I see Coran as being significantly more invested in theAllurance babies, simply by virtue of him Palababus, too. These last few willprobably be a bit on the short side, but I hope it’ll still be good!

Coran loves getting to tell the children about everything hedid and saw throughout his many years of travel. He’ll often regale them with thetales of shenanigans that their parents, as well as the OG Team Voltron, got upto. Does he occasionally embellish the stories to make their parents seem alittle more imposing? Maybe. But the kids don’t even care and the parent’s coughLancecoughappreciate being seen as total badasses by their kids. Additionally, he teachesthem how to do all the strange, alien-animal calls that he knows just for thefun of it. None of the parents thank him for this; especially not Pidge andKeith, who end up getting the worst of it because of how much Newt loves making the strange noises.

Additionally, he ends up hitting it off particularly wellwith two of the Palababus through offering them more insights in to Voltron andhow the Lions work, but, again… Subject for later! ;3c

Romelle

She ends up becoming super in to video games and Eaeth boardgames; specifically I think she’d be really in to Sorry!, Monopoly and anyRPG games she can get her hands on. Her being into games makes her a favoritewith Kaden and Newt, who loves having little gaming tournaments. She’s kickedtheir tales at literally every game they have but they still enjoy getting toplay with her. She also loves teaching them the different games they playedback on the colony when she was a child. She teaches Amber some meditationtechniques to help her calm down and help rein in some of her violenttendencies. She also teaches Aria how to play some Altean instruments,including a strange tuba-accordian hybrid.

Additionally, she tells them cautionary tales about her lifeback on the colony and lies they believed about Lotor. The kids are aware thatLotor was a bad guy, but they don’t know the extent of it. She saves thosestories until they’re a little older, just to avoid causing them nightmares,but they take what she says to heart.

Kolivan

So, I have a lot of headcanons about Kolivan that I won’t begoing into great detail about right now, but I will state I think he has atleast one child of his own, but they have an estranged relationship. Betweenthis and how close he is with Keith and Krolia, when he opts to retire fromactive Blade assignments, he ends up settling on Earth and taking up Grandpa Privilegeswith the Kidgelings.

Much like with Krolia, he helps teach Amber and Kaden aboutself-defense techniques and other such things. He decides pretty early on thathe likes how the two contrast but complement one another, what with Amber beingan enthusiastic little spitfire and Kaden being a sneaky little tactician. Theymake for a good team and he can see that the two of them have greatness laidbefore them. With Newt, he really enjoys listening to him go on his ramblesabout the tech he’s working on; specifically, he likes when he goes on hisrambles about the prosthetic limbs he wants to develop for humans and animalswith missing limbs. He thinks it’s really cute how this snarky little bratactually has a very soft and compassionate heart underneath it all. With Aria,he really loves letting her play with his hair. Since it’s so long, she’ll sitfor hours and comb it out and then restyle it. Sometimes she does simplebraids, or twists it into a bun, or even busts out her curling iron and leaveshim with a cluster of bouncy silver curls. Sometimes they’ll talk while shedoes, and other times she’ll just put on music and they’ll let the quiet musicfill in the peaceful space.

Slav

Slav is literally only here for one hilarious footnote.

One week, for show-and-tell, Aria actually smuggled Slav toschool with her. At lunch, she swapped candies and lunch tray desserts forreadings of their possible futures from the alien genius. This led to a bunchof the children going in to complete panic and the school hadto call in Pidgeand Keith.

They’re both impressed with the fact their daughter managedto sneak Slav to school, as well as how she managed to carry around a backpackwith him inside for the entire day.

#crumbles grumbles #Keidge #Kidge #Peith #Kidgemas #half baked headcanons #This ended up 13 pages long!#And I had wanted to talk about more interactions about the Kidgelings extended family members #*coughAcxaEzorZethridVeronicacough*#But I started this before S8 dropped and it was already getting crazy long #Maybe I'll do another post about them if there's an interest???

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