#this is actually after the scene where she dresses up ‘sexy’ for him and says ‘does this make you… cray?’

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

another piece of evidence for those who choose not to believe that matty was a pedo (he was)

he knew she was thirteen at this point. how is this supposed to be “oh it was just platonic he only wanted to be friends she seduced him🥺” like his hand is around her body and they are sleeping together

#this is actually after the scene where she dresses up ‘sexy’ for him and says ‘does this make you… cray?’ #he repeatedly says ‘nooo ur too young’ and then continues to do shit like this #shameless #matty baker #debbie gallagher

[friendly-witcher]

Damn

just a small spencer x gn reader (I think, tell me if I missed something) ficlet about the first time you see him in his FBI vest. inspo was all the tiktok edits 🔥

word count: <1k

warnings: implied sexual themes set in the finale of season 7. bank heist + bomb threat with Lady X. established relationship with reader, who is a misc. scientist at the Smithsonian (yes I watched too much bones). this is a no maeve zone.

if you like this, I might write a few more with them :)

please be kind, my writing is my own, I do not own these characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your boyfriend is hot, you’ve been well aware of this since the day you bumped into him in the hallway of your apartment building and every day since then. He’s tall, handsome, and has perpetually tousled hair, to say nothing of the fact that he is the smartest person you’ve ever met. He looks like a sexy professor straight out of a romance novel, yet somehow has no idea how gorgeous he is. All of this being said, you were not prepared to see him in your office wearing his usual dress shirt, tie, and his FBI bullet proof vest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ An hour or two before ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer had rushed to the scene after a bomb went off in the bank. He had sent you a brief text saying that he was fine, not to worry, and that he was heading into the city. This was the first time since you had been dating that a high profile case had been this close to home. So while you were used to being worried, this worry felt so much more immediate as you watched the chaos unfold only a mile or two away. 

You stayed in your office trying to concentrate on tables and graphs, but your eyes kept drifting to the news live-stream in the corner of your screen. You heard a quiet knock on the door and looked up to see your colleague Renee eyeing you with concern. 

“Lover Boy is on the scene isn’t he?” She asked, grimacing. 

You nodded, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears that threatened to form. 

Renee perched on your desk and took your hand. “He’s a highly trained FBI genius, he’s going to be ok.” You nodded again, rubbing your face in exasperation. “Let’s go and make a tea.” Pulling you from your desk. You resisted, motioning to the screen. “Watching isn’t going to help him, it’s only going to make you more stressed.” 

“I’m bringing my phone.” You grumbled as you followed Renee to the kitchen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Emily and Will walked out of Union Station, battered but unscathed, Spencer let out the breath he felt he had been holding in since Will had walked into that bank. 

“We’re ok, we’re ok.” Emily held out her hands as you all rushed towards her. 

“Thanks to Miss Calm and Collected here.” Drawled Will, looking at Emily with a mix of gratitude and disbelief. "She defused a bomb in under two minutes without breaking a sweat."

“Well done. Both of you.” Hotch looked them both over approvingly. “You two go get checked out. I’ve got to debrief with Strauss then we are good to head out.” 

Everyone nodded in agreement, patting each other on the back and inspecting their wounds. Spencer hung back and looked at his phone, “Actually guys, I have to go check on something…” not meeting any of their curious gazes, “I’ll catch up with you guys later. If that’s ok?” 

Hotch nodded, dismissing him. “Good work today.”

“Catch you later, Pretty Boy.” Derek winked at him and turned to walk away. 

Spencer looked back down at his phone at the message, “Please be careful, I love you.” You had never said that before. He had suspected that you did love him for a while, but this was the first irrefutable evidence. He smiled and started towards where he knew you would be waiting. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Spencer often dropped you outside work or met you nearby for lunch, he had never actually been to your office. He came through the doors slightly out of breath, “Do you know where I would find Dr Y/N L/N’s office?” 

As he strode through the corridors of the Smithsonian Institute trying to find your office he noticed he was drawing quite a few stares. Ignoring this, he finally reached your door. Where he found you with your head resting on your arms, a forgotten cup of tea beside you. 

He knocked on the door gently and you started to say, “Renee I’m fi- ” until you finally looked up and saw Spencer standing in the doorway. Your face broke into a smile, “Spencer!” 

Your eyes raked over him as he approached, unscathed, and damn. You had thought the men-in-uniform thing was a joke but looking at Spencer now you got it, picking your jaw off the ground you barrelled into his arms. 

“Are you all right?” He asked, turning your face to examine your features. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine now,” squeezing him tighter and smiling up at him. He looked at you amused and curious. 

“What was that face? Was it about the text?” Concern marring his beautiful face. 

“Honey, no! I meant that…I just…” you blushed, “I’ve never seen you in this…” your hands tracing across his chest adorned with the letters ‘FBI’. 

“I did get a lot of funny looks walking over here,” his brow furrowed, “I’m sorry I should have taken it off. I just wanted to see you and forgot.” He shook his head, admonishing himself. 

Looking up at him you continued trying to stifle a giggle, “Spencer, you sweet beautiful genius,” you said as you cupped his face, “They weren’t looking at you funny. You look, how should I put it, smoking hot. Like an actual real life superhero.”

It was his turn to blush and he tried to disagree with you, but met with your adoring gaze he stayed quiet and grinned. He gently pressed his lips to yours then met your eyes, “By the way, I love you too.” You kissed him again, smiling. 

“Come on, let me take you home.” He picked up your bag and extended a hand to you. 

“Yes please, Dr FBI agent.” Taking his hand and smirking at him. 

“So I should wear the vest more often?” He asked innocently.

“Definitely.” 

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #derek morgan #criminal minds x reader

[lilydalexf]

hi! do you know of any fics where mulder or scully (i think this fits either of them well) ask the other "can i kiss you?" ? its my favourite fic "trope" but i think ive only found one xf fic that does it and i cant even remember it, please help!

Thank you for this ask! I have (many) older asks I maybe should've answered first, but it was very fun compiling this rec list of fics where one of Mulder and Scully asks the other "Can I kiss you?" Enjoy! Anamorphosis by Megan Reilly Assigned to find a horrifying serial murderer, Agent Scully discovers things about herself and her past that she never suspected. City of Light by Bonetree On the run through the American Southwest, Scully and Mulder flee the shadowy forces of Owen Curran and Padden's government agents, who threaten their freedom and their lives. On the way, they must also struggle with their own demons, which threaten to tear them apart. (Part of the Goshen universe) Eleventh Hour by Rachel Anton Some feeling defy the confines of time. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Jenna Tooms Scully comes to Mulder with a wound only he can heal. general conundrums by @intrepidment Nonsense fluff. Impulse by Suzanne Schramm Mulder and Scully investigate some strange doings in a little town where people seem to have no control over their actions. Let's Bee Together by @baronessblixen Set during IWTB: Scully comes home from the hospital to find a bored and restless Mulder has picked up an interesting new hobby: apiculture. Little Notes by aRcaDIaNFall$ Mulder and Scully are bored in a meeting and start passing notes... The Mad Physicist & The Lab Rat by littlemisfit5290 (@alittlemissfit) "Who said I was even going to the party?” “I said you are if you plan on knowing whether I dressed up as a sexy alien or that beast woman.” MSR, pre IWTB, Halloween fluff. The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Baroness_Blixen (@baronessblixen) For the first time ever, the FBI is doing a secret Santa exchange. But what do you do when you're not paired with the only person you can imagine exchanging gifts with? You do everything in your power to rig the game. Nuptiae Sub Rosa by SisterSpooky1013 and XFMaweezy (@sisterspooky1013 and @xfmaweezy) A series of canon-compliant missing scenes showing that some dynamics of Mulder and Scully’s relationship may have changed much earlier than previously thought. radiant by kittenscully (@kittenscully) Under normal circumstances, her vulnerability would shock him. But things are different now, the shift tectonic and undeniable. He owes her the same trust that she’s showing him. Saying the Words by Karen Rasch Mulder and Scully finally confront their feelings for the first time. (Part of the Words series) Tender Intent by A.I. Irving When Scully returns to work after recovering from her illness, Mulder discovers that she isn't quite the changed woman she claims to be. Untitled by @baronessblixen “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.” / “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?” Untitled by @broadcastnews1987 a “what if one breath never happened au.” Untitled by @msrafterdark scully puts the moves on mulder post-millennium. What Happens In Vegas (Sometimes Finds Its Way Into Official Documents) by tiredmoonlight (@myshipsintheharbor) When some interesting news about the marital status of two agents finds its way to back to the FBI, questions are raised, the main one being that the agents don't actually remember getting married. While You Were Sleeping by Skinfull Mulder falls for an intoxicating red head he spots in the park, then saves her life but not before she is injured and put into a coma, then he meets her sister! Den den dehhhhhh! Seraphim by chekcough (@chekcough) After Mulder returns from the dead, Scully tries to pick up the pieces. AU, with Mulder/Scully relationship pre-established after FTF. Implied character suicide.

#fic rec #roundup #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #anon #asks

[mermaidsirennikita]

Too bad now you have to give recs of "hero goes down on the clueless heroine and she’s like wow thanks that was AMAZING, can women do that to men too? 🤔 " haha

I love the clueless heroine going down on the hero, she has no idea what she is doing but her eagerness makes it a 10, Best blow job of my life 🤌🏻

@hptriviachamp posts every time the latter thing happens with a very apt meme that makes me laugh every time (IT AIN'T MUCH BUT IT'S HONEST WORK)

I can't remember a lot of PARTICULAR moments, but for these moments or this vibe:

You should definitely try Elisa Braden for this vibe. Mooost of her heroines are virgins (honestly: too many of them for me lol, I do need a bit more variation) and they're often all "WHAT'S THIS BUTTON DO" about sex. Her Midnight in Scotland series is really good. I think The Taming of a Highlander is the one where the hero is like "THERE'S NO WAY IT'LL FIT. WE MUSTN'T." and she's like "la la la it grows exponentially bigger when I look at it, I suppose I shall attempt to stuff it in la di da" blase about it.

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean, one of her best. The heroine's a scientist who initially gets the hero to teach her about sex only! Verbally! Before graduating to physically! Also! She's very "if he'd let me study his penis with a magnifying glass I would" in nature. I also really enjoy the scene where he eats her out, comes in his pants, and immediately afterward is caught when his buddy stumbles in like "hey where do we keep th--OH. SORRY."

The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy doesn't have this scene/a totally clueless heroine, but it does have a scene where the hero is like "my dick is trying to make friends with your pussy" so there's that.

And in the same sense, because I fucking know these authors are friends and there's no way this was a total coincidence... Frankie in Mila Finelli's Mafia Mistress & Mafia Darling is NOT a virgin by any means. But when she and Fausto make it official, they do immediately roleplay him deflowering her as if she has literally never seen a dick in her life and it's HILARIOUS. Like these are DEEPLY COMMITTED people going "oh no! what's that????" "it's my dick! it's trying to say hello!" and I. Die. Not only because it's very funny, but because it actually makes their relationship more authentic to me. That's the kind of shit you only do with someone you deeply trust lmao.

Grace Callaway is gonna give you this vibe. Not all of her heroines are virgins, but the ones who are... often are precocious... and will like stuff their mouths with the hero's dick like they're doing the chubby bunny challenge.... The Duke Who Knew Too Much comes to mind because he's like "NO WAIT STOP THERE'S CRIME AFOOT" but she's already going for it.

Speaking of, Elizabeth Hoyt's Duke of Pleasure always deserves cred for the singular moment in which the hero and (virgin, grew up as a street rat dressed as a boy) heroine are investigating crime and some evildoers come upon them and he's like "quick just pretend you're blowing me" and she does start like, a mild actual beej while he's telling the guys "PLEASE LEAVE I'M GETTING BLOWN BY MY DOXY~" but after the guys leave he's all "so you can stop" and she's like "no no no I'm going somewhere with this". This one is special to me because he makes her spit into his fancy handkerchief after and I promise that even if he didn't know it that's when he decided to marry that girl.

I would say How to Marry a Marquess is one you should check out--by Stacy Reid. It's a classic "brother's best friend teaches me how to be sexy and then things get Really Outta Hand" book. I also really liked this one scene in it when his whole "let me teach you what dudes are into" thing leads to him like, eating her out in a moving carriage and when the carriage stops he does an entire "EGADS" jump off of her.

I need to reread The Lady Gets Lucky, but that's a rake meets virgin sex lessons book, and I have to think based off the scene I remember where he's like 30 seconds away from coming just from watching her lick her lips, there's a lot happening.

#romance novel blogging #lol i wish i could be more specific it's just something that has happened in so many books i've read #it's very similar to the 'SWEETHEART STOP OR THIS WILL BE OVER BEFORE IT'S BEGUN' moment #which often kinda bugs me bc i'm like jesus dude. just eat her out after. #take a minute to rebuild your strength while she sits on your face and you can fuck her after #EASY! #book recs

[yourheartonfire]

A few folks have asked about how to establish distinct character voices in dialogue. I'd say for me there are three key things you need to decide that help distinguish voices: 1. Your character's primary value, 2. Your character's main strategy in how they speak to others, 3. What your character wants in this moment and how they intend to get it.

And since everyone's talking about Goncharov (1973) right now, let's do a little scene study and look at the bedroom scene before the poker party. On the surface level the dialogue is simple, even trite. But it's the subtext that reveals character.

Here's a line by line breakdown, dialogue in bold, my comments in italics.

This scene of course immediately follows the involuntary revelation from Andrei that Goncharov knew something about Katya's father's death, a sequence that ends when Goncharov barges into the bedroom and asks:

GONCHAROV: Have you seen my braces?

He doesnt wait for an answer, strips off his shirt and starts putting on a clean one. Katya's thrown off her rhythm, as are we. After all the buildup of Goncharov as this unstoppable force of nature, this is... silly. It's disarming, it's intimate, it's human. (It's also sexy.) Goncharov meanwhile is distracted, doesn't notice Katya's expression in the mirror. It's not until he moves towards her dresser, where the gun is hidden, she says:

KATYA: On the chair.

Because of course she knows where it is. She knows Goncharov so well, yet not at all.

GONCHAROV: Thanks, love.

A rote endearment and a rote kiss on the cheek as he squeezes past her vanity. Such a great bit of physical business - that little squish and the face she makes. Katya puts down her make-up and watches him dress in the mirror. Does she directly confront him? Haha no.

KATYA: Must we really do this?

She presents this behind a bored sigh, as if her real concern were social. This is her strategy: hide her intelligence and fear behind this pouty, playful, spoiled persona, walking a fine line between demanding respect and not being taken as a threat.

GONCHAROV: Eh? Hurry up, we're going to be late.

Goncharov's strategy - ignore what he doesn't want to hear, bull his way forward. With a side of deflecting his own error - his lateness - onto his wife. It's gasoline on Katya's simmering anger. She stands, spoiling for a fight.

KATYA: I said, must we really do this? Why not stay home? Why do things that make us miserable?

I mean, there it is. There's Katya's real question and it flies completely over Goncharov's head. He cannot hear what she is asking him because they are speaking different languages. He assumes she's being a brat and again, brushes her words away.

GONCHAROV: We don't have time for this. What's the matter with you?

If he'd actually meant that, actually took a minute to hear what was wrong... But he doesn't. Vest still unbuttoned, he grabs her and steers her out the door. She lets him, still complaining as he frogmarches her down the hall.

KATYA: Maybe I have a headache. Maybe I need to pin you to the bed and make sweet love to you all night! Stay home and find out.

MARIO AMBROSINI: I'd understand if you take her up on that.

The Russians pull up short. Mario Ambrosini stands (beautifully framed) in half shadow in their living room beside the open door.

Goncharov immediately releases Katya, slips into character as Il Straniero.

GONCHAROV: Mario, my friend, I did not know you were meeting us here!

He embraces Ambrosini, who is notably less comfortable with physical affection than Andrei. Ambrosini prefers to be the one needling people.

MARIO AMBROSINI: I did promise to take you for a ride in the new auto. If you are still coming?

Goncharov turns to Katya.

GONCHAROV: My dear. Do you really have a headache?

There's a sincerity there under Il Straniero's charm. He is offering her the chance to stay home. Katya tightens her lips.

KATYA: I'll get my bag.

She marches off. Goncharov and Ambrosini are left awkwardly together. Goncharov shrugs with smarmy smile: "Women, amirite?". Ambrosini does not smile back.

MARIO AMBROSINI: What if she really wanted to fuck you?

Before Goncharov can answer, Katya returns, purse under her arm and fastening her watch (!) on her wrist.

KATYA: Are we going to a party or are we standing around with our dicks in our hands?

She flounces out the door, Ambrosini jumping to offer his elbow like a gentleman. Goncharov takes a deep breath and follows them.

So there you go. Goncharov's value is establishing his business/power base, his strategy is dismiss/ignore, and what he wants is Katya to fall in line and do what he says. Katya's value is relationships and safety, her strategy is to hide her real concerns behind this big, outrageous persona, and what she wants is to make Goncharov slow down and think. And then of course Ambrosini is a mystery, but I'd say his value is to defend his Naples power base, his strategy is to needle at people's insecurities, and what he wants is to throw Goncharov off his game.

Hope this is helpful to those looking to learn from a great script and a great movie!

#goncharov #scene analysis #unreality #lol #film theory

[archivalofsins]

So, there's something that we should probably be looking for in I Love You. Though it could be nothing.

In Backdraft people were able to identify another party shown to us in Bring It On by the watch they were wearing.

We don't see many people in This Is How To Be In Love With outside of Mahiru and her alleged significant other. However, we do see one other woman with a very identifiable article of clothing on her.

Taking into consideration the previous point and Mahiru's focus on clothing items I believe we should be looking out for her hairdresser's horseshoe necklace. Especially considering after day ten Mahiru's neck is either obscured by another item or she doesn't wear necklaces anymore.

Unlike on the day she confessed, day eight, where we see her wearing a heart-shaped necklace.

Day. 8

Plan of Action: Wait and ambush him in casual dress

I’m waiting for him until his part-time job is over. It’s a bit cold at this time of night, but I don’t mind at all. After all, I have something I absolutely have to tell him.

Even for a rougher style of dress you can’t be careless! Painted toenails and a necklace show some attention to detail to make for a sexy casual style. T-shirt, shorts, sandals, necklace ／ All personal possessions

It doesn't help that Mahiru says this in regard to her hairdresser,

Day. 10

Can’t go without my regular maintenance! ……he’s not the brightest, so hasn’t noticed though. The beautician I go to is actually my advisor when it comes to love too. She’s taught me so much……

Have fun spending a day to yourself to recharge all your feminine charms. The combination of beige and pink will make you love yourself as well. Hoodie, skirt, boots, bag, earrings ／ All personal possessions

There's a chance the person Mahiru was attempting to emulate was her.

If her hairdresser were the person, the object of her affections liked then she could have started going to her to figure out why he liked her. Or even collect information on their relationship under the guise of beauty salon small talk.

Such as,

"I just don't know where to start when it comes to romance; like where to go or how to meet up with people. How did you and your boyfriend meet?" Leading to them discussing her relationship casually under this idea of just giving her some advice.

This would give a different meaning to "....he's not the brightest, so hasn't noticed though." Because it could not only be referring to her hair but the fact that this woman is her hairdresser.

She also hones in on giving the mature oneesan look an image her hairdresser seems to give off in that muted turtleneck dress and subdued ponytail with the only accentuating item being a simple necklace. Mahiru's hair is even parted similarly to hers however it's still too short for her to wear it the same way as her.

If her hairdresser were in a relationship with the person Mahiru liked that would explain why it's only after this day she goes to his house. That is if the scenes we see are in chronological order with pieces in between missing. Because after all this time of seeing both of them either through school, running or work- They may have both begun to consider her a mutual friend and invited her over.

Hell, the guy may not have even invited her over. The girl could have which would explain the caught off look she has. If he reacted poorly or in surprise to her being the one to show up of course she'd be a bit startled. Especially considering before this Mahiru showed up at his place of work unexpectedly to confess and we're never told how she finds out where he works at.

We even see her boldly replicating this woman's hair style later

Despite her hair still being too short for it. If this is really the case, then we may not have seen the last of this hairdresser and it would explain why she's highlighted within Mahiru's first song at all.

#milgram #shiina mahiru

[catty-words]

anyway, the show is so funny for making 3.07 and 3.08 sister episodes wherein ben and paxton have to watch devi/des co-opt storylines that would traditionally belong to them - academic competition and being the thing in devi’s life that outshines her grief, respectively.

in 3.07, along with des demonstrating ben’s affinity for being cutthroat in his academic pursuits, he turns up ben’s condescension to 11, all the while dressing up these ben-borrowed traits in some patented paxton so-cal chill. and the particular way his paxton-chill interacts with his ben-superiority keeps des from meeting devi on a level, either in terms of disposition or intellectual respect.

naturally, the casually supposed superiority frustrates devi. rather than trusting herself to think on her feet - which ben has a demonstrated history of inspiring her to do (see: the seawall corporation argument she pulled out of her ass and “i really have to thank you, you keep my devi on her toes.”) - devi essentially gives up by resorting to cheating. which is not to say that it’s des’ fault devi cheated - it’s very much not, she made her bad choice - but rather, it’s telling that his treatment of their rivalry led her to pursue disingenuous means of winning. the end result is that they’re not actually engaging with each other.

when devi and ben compete, on the other hand, there’s a sense of equals going toe-to-toe, only heightened by the full-on pipsqueak energy they’ll both start serving the second they lose the upper hand. more to the point, though, it’s not actually about the competition in and of itself where devi and ben are concerned. after all, their canon academic competitions are hardly more mature or productive than the debate tournament ends up being - think of the beaker smash and viva wwiii! no, it’s specifically the way they’ve developed their rapport in the fires of that competition and therefore have a well-honed ability to call out the other’s bullshit that’s important.

in the closing scene of 3.07, devi confesses her crime to des, and he calls upon his paxton-chill to let it go with ease. which is nice and everything - devi did a well enough job of holding herself accountable by telling des she cheated in the first place - but it still stands in sharp contrast to the dynamic upon which devi and ben’s intimacy is built.

in 3.08, des switches gears to become the paxton analogue as the object of devi’s burning desire.

now, if you’ve been following along with my nhie brainrot for any length of time, you know i go hard for the layers of complexity in devi and paxton’s dynamic. he’s the symbol of normalcy she craves and getting with him is the goal she’s set to prove to herself and her peers that she, too, is totally normal. when she finally does enter a relationship with him, it all at once proves her worth as datable and turns out to be more alienating than ever.

so, by merit of being the next person devi dates, des inherits the runoff of that incredibly complicated dynamic. he is also escapism from herself, though this time devi’s not trying to get out of dealing with her grief so much as she’s simply relieved that she doesn’t feel the shadow of her reaction to that grief hanging over the entire relationship (x, x). the result is that she actually gets to experience the comforting normalcy of low-stakes high school romance and lust at the same time she handles her grief head-on and with a heretofore unseen emotional intelligence.

the thing is, this all happens almost incidentally to des’ presence in the episode. his paxton-like loyalty to his shitty friend keeps him from fully engaging with devi’s horniness, and his ben-like inferiority complex where paxton’s concerned keeps him from engaging with devi’s grief.

but you know who does acknowledge devi’s sexy efforts and emotional turmoil in one loaded scene? paxton hall-yoshida.

with all that laid out, it’s clear that these episodes have two things to say about des’ place in devi’s journey. firstly, of course, is the importance of their lack of history, which affords devi a freedom from her established identity as nerd and the space to explore which parts of her high school life are important to her, what she’ll carry with her when she leaves sohs behind in just over a year. 

the more interesting part, in my opinion, is the way des is sold to us as an amalgamation of everything we already know devi finds attractive: smart, dreamy, driven, and effortlessly cool. he’s supposedly the best of both worlds and, therefore, the ideal partner for devi.

in actuality, the way his ben-like and paxton-like attributes interact with each other in both episodes makes him a worse partner. possessive without being supportive, condescension dressed up like wit. though a combination of ben and paxton sounds nice on paper, the act of divorcing the two guys from their complexity and - yeah - their rich history with devi makes for a blander, shallower dynamic. the whole of both paxton and ben is greater than the sum of their parts.

at the end of 3.08, devi makes the choice to claim her identity as loser to des, and he affirms that the person he’s gotten to know is “super cool, beautiful.” their lack of history allows him to show her that she, too, is greater than the sum of her parts.

as such, this final scene marks an important turning point in the relationship. moving forward into 3.09, we get to see devi/des on its own merits, not as a blank slate for devi to sort her identity issues, nor as a ben/paxton dream combo. and we all know how that ends…

#of course it’s the particularities of how we pick apart the dynamic in its final stage that interests me #very excited for my 3.09 rewatch now #catty liveblogs nhie s3: rewatch edition #nhie meta

[coraclavia]

Cora Watches: The Way She Moves (2001)

Hello friendos! Today, in this random series no one asked for, we tackle a 2001 movie made for VH1, which I would describe as the love child of Dirty Dancing and She's All That. I've been watching X-Files season 9, spiraling in Doggett/Reyes (see here). This movie not only stars Annabeth Gish, it aired within months of X-Files season 9.

The Rookie fans: that's Kamar de los Reyes, aka Detective Caradine, as the male lead.

Let me whet your appetites. Here are the ending credits. Just drink it in:

Fun fact: this was hard to track down. It's not streaming and didn't get a US DVD release. So the copy I watched was not the best video quality, and it's a Polish overdub (I do not speak Polish). Not voice actors. It's just one (1) dude saying the lines in Polish over top of the English. ngl, it added entertainment value.

AG's early career cast her multiple times as the classic Good Girl: sweet, innocent, naive, kind of shy. This movie does the same. She plays Amie, a sweet-tempered office worker with a Wealthy Bland WASP-y Fiance and two Zany Gal Pals, as is law in a romcom. Amie likes photography, and if you don't think this movie will give her the chance to embrace life for real instead of hiding behind her camera, well, you have not been paying attention.

Her girlfriends give her and Bland Fiance salsa dance lessons as a gift, hoping they'll "loosen up" before the wedding. When Amie and Bland Fiance walk into the studio, they see a Sexy Salsa Group dancing a routine, and Amie is amazed. Whoa. Who knew dancing could be sexy?

Annabeth Gish does a reasonable job pretending to have two left feet; you better believe she steps on someone's feet within 60 seconds of the beginners' class starting. It's adorable.

Bland Fiance, who does Business, gets a Business Job offer to do Very Business in NYC, so he zips off and tells Amie, sorry babe, have fun in those dance classes without me. I have to go do Business.

And how convenient: Hunky Obvious Romantic Lead breaks up with the woman who was both his dance partner and girlfriend. She decides to bait him, tells him he can't train a new dance partner. He takes the bet, they see Amie awkwardly doing basic steps nearby, and Ex says Okay, train her, then. Yes, exactly like She's All That.

So now Amie is getting personal lessons? Just like that? She just goes with it, a little confused that Hunky Dancer is suddenly totally focused on her (meanwhile, her Zany Gal Pals are all eyebrows). Hunky Dancer has her meet him at a salsa club to give her a chance to learn in context. She shows up in one of the many super, super adorable dresses she'll wear in this movie. I have real wardrobe envy.

Hunky Dancer was hoping she'd relax seeing everyone around her having a good time. But oh nooooooo the dancing is so SEXY and she is so SHY.

Luckily, Hunky Dancer is really nice about it. He takes her back to the studio so they can practice alone, no pressure, and she can kick off her shoes.

We have the first of many montages. Amie and Hunky Dancer practice! She's getting better! This is where I realized that Annabeth Gish is actually a good dancer. She and Hunky Dancer end up leading a little studio get-together, and everyone is dancing and attractive and having a great time.

They step outside for some air, and... can you believe this... they kiss.

Amie panics and walks away, leaving Hunky Dancer feeling guilty. The next day she explains to him that she's actually engaged (she had briefly lost her ring, then decided not to wear it in front of him, so he'd never seen her wearing one).

After some deep thought, Amie dumps Bland Fiance.

She goes back to dance lessons, and if you don't think that means another montage, well. Try to keep up.

And yes, the inevitable happens. Amie hooks up with Hunky Dance Man, in a very tasteful basic-cable-TV-movie, fade-to-black love scene.

There is another montage. This time, they're going around the city, taking each other's pictures and just generally being cute. Everything seems perfect, right?

PSYCH!

At a big fun picnic, Amie again looks adorable.

But at this picnic, Amie finds out that Hunky Dancer's Ex actually dared him to partner with her (as @mylittleredgirl pointed out: "am I a bet? am I a fucking bet?"), and she's very hurt, because we need some kind of conflict in our movie, because that's how movies work. Also, there is a Big Dance Event, and it is conveniently on the same day her wedding is/was scheduled. Amie very gently tells Hunky Dancer to take his old dance partner back.

Buckle up, because this is where we leave the rails.

-So I guess Amie is just... engaged again? Just like that?

-Amie's mom stops her just outside the ceremony and tells her to follow her heart and marry for love, not money

-as she walks down the aisle with her brother, Amie experiences her own mental montage, thinking about all the great times with Hunky Dancer and the many times he's been shirtless and brawny

-she bolts. just turns around, mid-aisle, and hightails it out

-oh, did I mention that her brother is a firefighter? Because he is. So Amie hops onto the fire truck in full wedding gown and veil and they drive over to Dance Event

-Amie kicks off her shoes, loses the veil, and joins the dance team onstage for the Big Final Dance, which she knows perfectly, even though she stopped going to rehearsals

And here's the final shot:

Do I recommend this?: Honestly, yes. It's ridiculous but it's so fun. Of course, you might have to watch a blurry Polish overdub like I did, so keep that in mind. This is a giant ball of cheese, but I love cheese, and Annabeth Gish is so adorable, you can't help wanting to hug her.

What did we learn from this movie?

Be Yourself™

Follow Your Heart™

Feel the Music™

have an endless supply of cute halter dresses

Works for me.

#cora watches #The Way She Moves #Annabeth Gish #kamar de los reyes

[autumnaaltonen]

Imagine alucard’s confusion with the gen z obsession with renfairs and those TikTok’s that are like “when thou is in a tavern throwing it back with thy fellow wenches to gain the attention and approval of the knights in the corner”. Like he grew up in that era so he knows how much it sucked arse, but here’s these teenagers glorifying it and larping the worst years of his life while dressed as fairfolk lmao 😭 (not hating on renfairs, they’re amazing)

The only time I ever see Alucard entering a LARPing fair is becuase it is for a mission. But there is always fun to be had where there is mead and turkey legs, yes?

This was probably one of Alucard's more daring missions

The year is 1990, and Integra is 13-years-old (note: this was likely before she would be knighted)

This would be the first official mission Alucard would complete under the orders of his new, prepubescent, Master

And of all places to go hunting for a rogue vampire, it was in a bloody Renaissance Faire

The target was staging as a black knight in the duelling competition, using his newly garnered vampiric strength to cheat his way to the top

Pfft, nerd

Unfortunately, this nerd was also causing serious injuries and killing his competitors behind the scenes when they upstaged him in any way

So something needed to be done about him, fast

The discussion Walter had to have with Alucard in regard to what renfair's actually were was entertaining to say the least

"Human's actually recreate the Medieval Period for enjoyment?"

"Yes, it's really becoming quite popular these days. Common activities include theatrical arts, costume making, and mock-jousting."

Alucard is baffled and intrigued at the same time

What little memories he can recall from his mortal life are not one's of enjoyment, and are usually accompanied by the stench of blood and shit

Will people be throwing the contents of their chamber pots out the windows? Will there be bloody duels outside of pleasure houses, fighting to the death and leaving a stinking corpse out in the alley? CAN HE STAB SOMEONE CUS HE WANTS TO?

When Integra decides to accompany Alucard to the fair for educational purposes, she plays the part by dressing top to bottom in noble silks, jewels and fencing sword on her hip

That's when Alucard begins to piece things together

This is a glorified beauty pageant, and he was going to draw attention to himself if he walked in with his long red coat, glasses and sunhat

With Integra's permission, he quickly slips into his Vladcard form to better fit in

Chain mail armour, tattered cape, crucible steel kilij, and that sexy sexy stash 😏

Unfortunately for Alucard and Integra, this achieves the exact opposite intent

Everyone is all over them in an instant, wanting to admire Alucard's "hype threads" and super realistic sword

Everyone assumes that the two are doing a guardsman and princess cosplay, which pre-teen Integra quickly refutes with a swing of her also super realitic sword

After begrudgingly posing for a number of photos, and having a many number of ladies (and men) shooting their shot with smexy Vladcard, the pair finally make their way to the duelling competition, which was scheduled for midnight

The plan was to enter him in, make his way to the top two (too easy), where he would fight the vampiric black knight and 'theatrically' end his un-life

Alucard has never taken out a target with his kilij before, so he was actually beginning to enjoy this little excursion

That was until he read the Yee Olde Rules

"No metal weapons allowed"

There was a barrel next to the sign filled with foam swords and dulled pull arms, ready for any new competitors who were without their own prop-weapons

YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY ALLOWED TO HURT PEOPLE???

Alucard his done. He's so done. This is bullshit. Why bother to hold a tournament at all?

Integra has to pep-talk him into the game, convincing him that this would be the cleanest way to kill the target with all the people around, so they'd just think it was part of the show

But how was he supposed to kill the vamp with a foam sword?!

This is Alucard we are talking about

He could turn a ball-point pen into a deadly weapon

Alucard actually has to go easy on the pimple-ridden teenagers that lead up to the final fight, dodging their measily plastic swords with ease, before *bonk*ing them on the head with what could be considered a pity swing of his foam blade

It was very boring for both him and the audience, ending each match in 10 seconds flat

By the time he is finally facing the target in the final 1 V 1, Alucard picks up one of the dull-pole arms as his weapon of choice

Integra adorns it with a lily wreath she pruchased as a joke, giving Alucard her 'favour' with a wink and a smirk

With enough force and precision, Alucard is able to drive the blunt end of the polearm into the black knight's heart, impaling him 15th century style

The audience is initially stunned silent, not used to seeing fake blood being added to the mix of things, as well as the audible *crunch* of the pole arm snapping when it makes contact with the black knight's rib cage

Integra has to cheer and applaud dramatically, breaking the awkward silence and giving everyone the green-light that this was "just a part of the finale!"

Roses and daisies are thrown down to Alucard as he takes in the cheers and praise, giving a noble bow before exiting the ring

That was definitely a nostalgic experience, who knew he missed that stupid era so much?

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard #hellsing alucard #sir integra

[rayslittlekitten]

Random WIP

I was looking through some stuff and found this Will x OFC best friends to lovers/fake marriage fic that I started a while ago and never continued because I couldn't flesh out the story. I know the beginning and end but filling the middle was very challenging especially knowing nothing about how the military and marriages operate. I had certain scenes already written out but still have a lot more to fill in. But here is the first chapter that I had written for it. It definitely starts out strong:

Alex pulls the dressing room door shut and fires off a text to her best friend.

“Are we still on for 2nite?”

She sends the message and puts the phone down on the bench to start undressing. As she removes her shirt, her phone starts chirping. She picks up her phone and sees she is receiving a video call from “Will”. She swipes the screen to answer the call.

"Hey bestie. You could have just texted me back," she says as she tosses her shirt onto the bench.

"Whoa!"

She glances over at her screen and sees the screen completely covered. There's movement and it sounds like the phone is being brushed up against something.

"Will? Helloooo? Did you accidentally call-"

Finally, his face re-appears.

"Seriously, Alex, next time give me a warning. I'm out in public," Will says.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're in your freakin' bra!"

She glances down and shrugs. "What's the big deal? You've seen me in my underwear plenty of times before."

"Yeah, well, you want the rest of the world to also see that?"

Alex had been partnered with Will in a college class and the two of them became fast friends. Their friendship grew after constantly running into each other on campus and then the two became inseparable. It has always been strictly platonic between them. Will would always be Alex’s shopping buddy, even when shopping for lingerie. He would always help her choose whenever she was unsure and in return, she would help him pick out something whenever he needed a woman's touch. The man has way too many polo shirts. She once threw a fitted gray Henley on him and told him his future girlfriends can thank her for that.

Even after college, when Alex went back home to New York and Will went to join the military, Alex would always send him pictures to help her with her shopping. Will probably has more indecent photos of her than anyone she’s actually dated. He's honestly the only one she trusts with compromising photos.

Will is glancing around him.

"Where are you anyways?” Alex asks him.

"I'll explain tonight. What are you doing?"

"I'm going dress shopping. I need to look like your trophy girlfriend for the military ball."

Will couldn’t find a replacement date so he asked his best friend even though they haven’t seen each other in a while. 

She pauses and thinks for a moment. "Wait, maybe I should look less sexy so the ladies know you're single. Should I pretend to be your sister instead?" She looks off to the distance, thinking about her question.

"No, you're going as my girlfriend. I don't want them to think I'm taking my sister," Will scoffs.

"Aren't you like, lying to your superiors?" Alex asks, then puts her phone down on the bench to try a dress on.

"You're a girl and you're my friend. That's not lying. If I told them I'm bringing my sister, that would be lying, especially since I don't even have one."

"You were going to bring your mom. How is a sister more embarrassing?" She looks at herself in the mirror, turning around to see how the dress fits.

"Hey, moms are different. Moms get a lot of respect."

"Then why don't you go stag? You’re a handsome man in uniform. Someone’s gonna wanna tap that tight ass."

"I already got the ticket and I'm not wasting it. I really wish my mom could go, but you know." Will shrugs.

Seeing her best friend's sudden mood change, Alex switches gears.

"Hey, what do you think about this dress? I'm not sure I'm feeling it." Alex picks her phone back up and faces it towards the floor length mirror. "Does my ass look fat?" She turns around to show him.

"If you're fishing for a compliment, yes it does."

"Will, come on!"

He chuckles. "I don't really like that dress to be honest. Why don't you try that red one I see hanging back there?”

"Oh hey, the sexy one. So what's my backstory this time?"  

This would not be the first time Alex has pretended to be Will’s girlfriend, just as he's pretended to be her boyfriend many times before.

She puts the phone down again to remove the current dress, then puts on the red number Will chose.

"I don't know. Just be you. We met in college and... " Will shrugs.

"You sure I can't just be your sister? Because this dress would probably get me laid and I can sure use it." Alex brings the phone back to the mirror again.

Will whistles. She had removed her bra since it's a very low cut dress, and she twirls to see the back, which is all open. The halter dress is held up by a strap hanging by her neck and the skirt of the dress clings on to her every curve and flares out a little knees down.

"Got some side boob action going too." Alex turns to the side to show him. "Am I overselling myself as the trophy girlfriend? Oh, look at this high slit." She sticks her leg out from the opening on the side of the dress. "You sure this is fine? I'm going to be around all these respected military people and shit."

"Ooooh, yeah. I am sure you're fine. You still got those sexy black stilettos?"

She switches the camera from the rear to the front.

"Will, are you being a perv right now?"

"What? No! I just want every guy to be jealous of me when they see you hanging off my arm!"

"William dear, let's get one thing straight. You're the one that's going to be hanging off my arm, okay? I know I'm the guest, but we know you're going to be my arm candy. Women are gonna wonder what the hell you’re doing being with me." Alex points her finger to herself. "I know you've always been like, very reserved since I've met you, but you've always been pretty confident. Is there someone bullying you? Whose ass do I have to kick?"

Back in college, Alex was always his wing woman. She knew Will was a good looking guy and was charming as heck, but he could be so shy at times. She would reel in the women he had interest in and let him work his magic once she got them hooked. She was always the energetic one, dragging him to wild parties and events. Sundays though were usually the days the two of them would recoup from partying three nights in a row and this is where Will would balance things out by bringing back shitty coffee and cafeteria breakfast and they would just nurse their hangovers together by watching mindless TV while cuddling under the blanket, which was a tradition Will started. Even if one of them hooked up with someone the night before, they always found time for each other.

"No one is bullying me," Will chuckles. "I just want to have a good time with my best friend. That's all. I miss you."

"Miss you too, kiddo. So this one's it?" Alex switches the camera back to the rear-facing to show him the dress again in the mirror.

"Yup. That's the one." Will nods.

"I hope you're paying for dinner tonight because I'm going to have to live off of ramen noodles and hot pockets for a week or two like back in college after I buy this dress," she tells him as she puts the phone down again and starts to undress.

"Wait, how much is that dress?" Will asks.

"It's me having to decide on looking like hot shit or having a decent meal. That's how much it is, although me eating less probably would make me look better in this dress anyways."

"No, seriously, if you can't afford it-"

"Shut up. I'm not that broke. Listen, I'm going to look good for my best friend, okay? It’s also been a while since I’ve dressed this fancy. I could use this too." Alex picks up the phone one last time after she gets dressed. "So we're still on tonight?"

Alex’s been thinking about getting her masters degree and she’s in town to check out a school she’s been looking at which happens to be close to where Will is stationed so they made plans to meet up for dinner today.

"Yes, I'll pick you up at six at your hotel. Sounds good?"

"Yup. See you later, Miller.”

#william ironhead miller #will ironhead miller #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #random rambles

[thegeminisage]

ok tng update time. this one is four episodes because i let it get away from me. i at some point watched "manhunt," then we caught "the emissary" and "peak condition" together, and finally i sped my way through "shades of gray" earlier today

manhunt: not even majel barrett could save this one. not only did deanna not take a stand against her mother like she did in the last lwaxana troi ep, she went back to acting as though she never had at all. so much for my favorite deanna moment ever. i'm sorry women

riker carrying the suitcase WAS funny. i love how down he is to do literally anything. he is rapidly becoming one of my favorites he's finally coming into his own

husband hunting bc of menopause bad. holodeck WORSE. combine them and i am in agony

the jokes about how ugly those stasis aliens were were also kind of unfunny. the twist about them being assassins and lwaxana knowing all along because she's psychic WOULD have been funny if 1. they hadn't established her telepathy was off and 2. she hadn't been so annoying this episode

i hate when she scolds people for "having naughty thoughts" when it was established last episode that she's making that shit up or at the very least sharply exaggerating it to embarrass them and then it WORKS TO EMBARRASS THEM. shouldn't everyone in the room by now know that she's just inflating her own ego...

anyway it was unwatchably bad.

the emissary: this one was ALMOST good. they got really close. i really liked the half-klingon woman when she was hanging out with deanna...they had genuine chemistry and they should have kissed about it. unfortunately all her scenes with worf were INSUFFERABLE

like, this woman DESPISES klingons. she doesn't say one thing about them that isn't completely derogatory the entire episode. she hates her own klingon half, she hates other klingons, why on EARTH was she 1. put in charge of this mission 2. made to work with WORF even after he asked picard to pick someone else?

like, worf literally spent the entire episode trying to do his job, and she kept bringing up their past drama so she could provoke him into fucking her

and then when he tries to """do the right thing""" by marrying her (WHICH MAKES NO SENSE WHEN COMPARED WITH PREVIOUS LORE...BUT WHATEVER...) she's like haha no silly that's what those silly backward awful KLINGONS do, but EYE am a way more evolved human

and then we don't examine that at all ever.

like, she could have been a fascinating character when foiled with worf - both of them are klingons who operate in a world of humans and feel isolated and othered as a result, but she HATES her klingon half and worf wants to connect more closely with his own klingon heritage. they could have been good for each other but instead she was super annoying and then just left.

i DID like the scene at the end though where worf got dressed in full klingon captain regalia and bluffed his way into captaincy of a klingon warship. GOOD for him. that was fun and sexy of him and for once i didn't mind them using the woman as eye candy.

THAT SAID IF SHE HATES KLINGONS SO MUCH WHY IS SHE THE ONE ABOARD THAT SHIP. IT MAKES NO SENSE. anyway it missed the fucking mark. i loved the poker game though

peak condition: i loved this one. it was so funny and full of shenanigans and hijinks. this is actually the most i have ever liked wesley, who used his dumb annoying kid persona as a cover to CHEAT a metaphorical kobayashi maru. i genuinely unironically thought it was great. eveyrbody was rolling their eyes at him bc he had to go back for his experiment and then meanwhile he's loading antimatter onto the hathaway with a PERFECT fucking poker face behind their backs

i loved the little npc this episode, he was such a ham. he truly was doing the most he was so funny

best plot twist ever is when worf fakes the first enemy ship and then the second enemy ship is the real one. the comedic timing of that was HILARIOUS and riker finding a way to make it work even when that strategy guy said it was impossible bc he had too much charisma was great

my one sour note was pulaski setting data up to do that video game match. she realized her mistake and apologized but i still wanted to kill her. i would have hated it less had data volunteered on his own, because i DID like his little arc about learning sometimes he will make mistakes even if his solution to beating the guy in the end felt like a little bit of a copout. anyway, stellar episode despite that little hiccup, i wish tng was that fun all the time

shades of gray: actually much less horrific than i expected given its clip show nature. some of the clips were ones i liked and the ones i fucking hated i felt no shame in speeding up or even skipping through entirely (i can't believe they wanted us to watch tasha yar die again LMAOOO and that fake girl on the holodeck like come ON).

that said, the part before the clipshow was very VERY charming. riker living it up while everyone else is having kittens about his impending doom, his determination to keep both his dignity and sense of humor while facing death...unironically some of the best riker content hiding in that episode. i feel like i got to watch 12 minutes of cool riker stuff and then a few cool clips.

i guess that was pulaski's last appearance? rip girl, you tried and again women i am so sorry.

anyway, that's it for season 2. we literally fucking made it. tomorrow night we're starting season 3 and doing every episode together until we hit three duds in a row lol.

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb

[bluebayousblog]

SWEET TALK

(JOHN B. ROUTLEDGE ONE-SHOT)

This is not a full on story but if you want more I’ll be happy to add on upon request

Plot: in which John B meets a girl at a bonfire after his breakup with Sarah

Setting: S2; bonfire scene

Visuals:

Gwyneth was at a bonfire that was being thrown by some kids at her school, one that she’d came to with her friends but hadn’t seen in a while. The girl didn’t care though, she didn’t mind being by herself where she could observe everyone and sip her drink.

A curse left her lips as she swatted yet another mosquito off of her soft, brown skin. The humid air of the outer banks inhabited all kinds of mosquitoes that loved the vanilla scent she was obsessed with spritzing all over her body. She would take a million bug bites over smelling like absolutely nothing.

Her head was down as she examined the red skin on her thigh obviously not quick enough to avoid actually getting bitten this time. What she didn’t expect was to be sent flying towards the ground as if she weighed nothing, a small squeal leaving her mouth.

“Shit, I am so sorry.” A deep yet familiar voice rushed out.

Gwyn looked up to see none other than John B. Routledge with his hand extended towards her with a sorrowful look on his face. “You’re good I suppose.”

Accepting his hand, another gasp left her as he pulled her up just as easily as he’d knocked her over. This guy had a grip on him, the same grip he’d been accused of killing Sheriff Peterkin with not too long ago, but now he seemed to be a free man.

His little friend group seemed to have a lot of strange things going on that they always managed to get away with but I doubt John B, the golden boy, killed a fucking cop.

“I swear that was an accident.” He promised with urgency still in his voice, like he was trying to avoid upsetting her at all costs.

A tiny laugh left her lips at his nervous demeanor, could he not act normal around people that weren’t in his inner circle.

“Hm, well I would hope you didn’t intentionally tackle me like a full on line backer.” Gwyn joked trying to lighten the mood, successfully prompting a chuckle out of him. “Where were you in such a hurry to that you’re knocking helpless girls over like bowling pins, John B?”

“I’m actually avoiding someone who invited me here, Gwyn.” He taunted, the nerves he once had completely vanishing.

She quirked her eyebrow, slightly surprised at the use of her name from the troublesome boy. “You know my name?”

The two of them went to different schools with Gwyneth being a kook and John B a pogue. Her family didn’t make being in the higher part of society their entire personality but she also found solace where she was having a small friend group at her school.

She wasn’t an uptight priss that thought she was better than anyone, she could befriend a pogue, it just seemed like they weren’t too keen on befriending someone like her.

Which she couldn’t fault them for, the kook reputation proceeded her.

“Of course I do, JJ thinks you’re the hottest girl walking the island.” The boy informed despite his eyes continuously dropping down to glance at her body that was covered in a tight little knit dress that stopped about mid thigh.

When she caught his gaze again he didn’t falter from being caught in the act of checking the girl out, a shameless look on his features as if he was silently saying ‘can you blame me?’

“Really? What else does JJ think about me?” She asks with a suggestive tone, his eyebrows raising telling her he caught on to what exactly she was getting at.

A wave of heat washed over her as he took a step towards her figure, definitely in her personal space but not touching her at all.

“He thinks the way your body looks in anything you wear should be a fucking hazard to the whole town.” He said with a low voice at an obvious attempt to sound sexy, and she would be lying if she said it didn’t send a couple shivers down her spine.

“-Don’t let me forget how he goes on about your scent, and how every time you walk by you have the power to cause a trail of men to follow in suit.” A short laugh leaving his lips.

She watched him as he leaned into her with his eyes closed, not sure if she should be weirded out that he was in fact smelling her neck, this had been the first time they’d actually spoken to each other after all.

“Do I smell like all your favorite things?” She whispers in his ear that was now adjacent to her mouth. The hum he let out vibrated her entire body, almost making her forget what she was about to say, “Anything like Sarah, John B?”

“Oh, you’re funny for that one.” He said as he pulled away but not taking any steps back to create some distance. He ran a hand through his sun kissed hair causing his barely buttoned shirt to open up even more than it already was putting his abs on display.

The boy always looked like he’d stepped out of a sauna, his skin illuminating in the light from the fire across the way from us. “You thought I would let you sweet talk me while having a girlfriend?”

“We’re broken up, Gwyn, I’m sure it’s hot gossip at Kook Academy.” He rolled his eyes. She wasn’t sure if the disgust in his tone was directed at her or how superficial the academy is.

She chose to ignore it, figuring he was still a little sensitive from his breakup, any guy would be devastated at losing the kook princess, Sarah Cameron.

“Yeah, broken up for like two seconds.” She smirked.

Getting sick of standing there and staring at each-other, she decided to lay back against the car they were standing in front of, gazing up at the stars. “The North Star is shining brighter than usual tonight don’t you think?”

Gwyn was met with silence as she looked over to see John B gazing up at the sky with an indistinguishable look on his face, something obviously on his mind.

“Oh shit, don’t tell me that’s like you and Sarah’s star or something.” She partially joked but all amusement fell from her features as she looked over to see he was already gazing at her.

“Yeah, it was our star, now let’s stop talking about her, I’m talking to you right now.” He practically begged.

The shift in his voice at the last part making her body tingle again despite her trying to run him off. While he was definitely still trying to reel her in while still obviously being hung up on his freshly made ex-girlfriend.

“I just don’t want to get involved in any mess is all, the wound is just too fresh.” She sighs.

“So if I were to be honest with you and tell you I didn’t think it’s the end of me and her, you would reject any advances because you don’t want to get strung along, you want something sustainable with me, Gwyn?” He’d managed to flip the script on me within a second, a stupid smirk now on his face.

“No! I just don’t want to get in the way if you plan to get back together with her in a few days, fuck sustainability.” I scoff, having no idea where this was coming from. Why did all males think women had attachment issues and couldn’t fuck and dump just as easily as they did, “You two are too attractive of an couple not be crawling back to each other by next week, it’s simple science.”

To her surprise the smirk on his face grew at her words, still not deterring him whatsoever, “So you think I’m cute then?”

“-that’s the besides the point, John B.” She groaned, finding it difficult to stop the smile that was forming on her lips.

He moved from his spot beside the girl, now standing in front of her body. She didn’t like the feeling of him towering over her while she relaxed on the warm metal of the car so she propped herself up on her elbows.

“Nah, I think it’s important we establish that right now, I already told you what JJ thinks about you,” he teased, referring to him eyeing me up and masking his apparent attraction for me through his best friend, “and the only way you could get in the way was if Sarah was any where on my radar, and she isn’t the girl that’s got me feining at the moment.

“Oh, for real?”

“For real.” He answers, his legs now touching her glowing brown ones.

She hooked one of her fingers in the waist band to the board shorts he was wearing not really invading any territory and looked up at him through her lashes, “So if we were to kiss you wouldn’t run away feeling all guilty and dirty?”

“No, Gwyn, you had me sniffing you like a dog a few minutes ago for God’s sake and I’m still here.” He groaned seeming to get more impatient with the girl.

She was just fucking with him at this point, and he was catching on to it rather fast, “You having some weird scent fetish and kissing me is two completely different things, John b.”

Just as he was catching on to her games, she could read into his too, not at all shaken when his two hands dropped down beside her head, caging her beneath him, and she couldn’t bring herself to say she hated being in this position.

“I guess we’re going to have to find out, yeah?” He mumbled, leaning further into her body, their lower halves brushing the other.

His face was just a few inches above hers as he tore his eyes away from her’s to glance at her plump lips, Gwyn wetting them with her tongue off instinct. He looked back up at her silently asking for permission, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, JB.”

A moan immediately left her throat as he conjoined their lips together, John b also letting out a deep groan at the feeling of her soft pink lips against his.

Gwyn broke the kiss, pushing him off to drag them on the other side of the car since they weren’t too far from the bonfire, not that she planned on getting drunk and nasty outside with a boy she’d just met.

His lips attached themselves to her neck, trailing light kisses down her collarbone as his back hit the window, “Shit, I think I’ve got more then a scent fetish when it comes to you, Gwyn.”

His words went straight to her vagina as he whispered against her skin, not being able to take his lips off of her. “Stop trying to butter me up.”

She released a high pitched moan as she grabbed his face to pull him from her shoulder, her skin sliding from between his teeth, making her writh from the feel of it. The two stared at each other in silence, Gwyn grinding against him liking the way he struggled to not let his eyes roll to the back of his head as he looked down at her.

The boy dove down to kiss her again at the feeling of her rolling her hips against his yet again, torturing him beyond lengths while barely doing anything to him. She melted into him even more as he ran his hands up her arms to meet her hands that were resting on the sides of his face, squeezing her small ones.

A hum left her lips as she guided their hands down the sides of her body, John B pulling her even tighter against his body if that was possible. A grunt passed through his lips when she removed her hands once his had gotten to her ass, Gwyn swore she felt his dick grow against her at the feel of it.

“Are you an ass guy, John B?” She asked against his lips, his mouth falling open when he squeezed the thick flesh, wasting no time to knead it, “It’s a little more than what you’re used to, can you handle it?”

The thing growing between his legs that was pressing against her thigh spoke for itself, “Fuck, yes.” He dragged out, smacking her ass in the process.

That had her clenching in areas she hadn’t planned on stimulating tonight when she agreed to attend this party with her friends, but she wasn’t as far gone as John B, he probably didn’t even know where he was anymore.

“I’m sure you could, and maybe I would’ve let you find out if you didn’t tackle me to the ground earlier.” She says, placing her hands on his chest and pulling their mouths apart.

“You being serious, Gwyn?” He groaned, but thankfully didn’t look too pissed off. He didn’t seem like the type to force a girl into doing something she didn’t want to, otherwise she wouldn’t have let him kiss her.

“I mean yeah, we just met, what do you take me for?” I give him a toothy grin.

Her eyes struggled not to flicker to his bulge between them as his hands remained on her ass, just holding her against him. “You’re such a tease, but I think you know that already, huh?”

“John B, is that you back there?” A deep voice made us jump.

Our heads snapping to the origin to see Pope staring at our position with wide eyes, John B finally dropping his hands from the girls backside and clearing his throat as she moved away from him, “Yeah, what’s up man?”

“Um, Sarah is looking for you, her and JJ have been searching everywhere, I see you’ve been occupied though.“ shock obvious in his voice.

His friends probably had just gotten used to him being with Sarah for all this time, and now here he was with yet another kook, this guy obviously had a type.

“Dude, there you are, we thought some kook kidnapped your ass.” JJ’s voice catching our attention as he walked over with a beer in his hand and Sarah trailing behind.

He was definitely with a kook, but he was here voluntarily no matter how many time she’d tried to send him away. “Nah, JJ, Pope and I have just been over here talking with Gwyn.”

Sarah gave me a friendly smile as I gave her a small wave—I hadn’t seen her at school since everything went down with her dad—but I guess she was here to distract herself, and here I was macking on her ex-boyfriend.

And, she didn’t need to know that, partially relieved at how easily John B had lied about what he’d been doing over here and roping his poor friend into it as well.

“What’s up, Gwyn?” JJ greeted, the stars in his eyes confirming what John B had said earlier about him thinking I was hot shit was in fact true.

I could feel John B shifting beside me, that problem between his legs not being relieved whatsoever.

“I’m good JJ, your friend was just telling about your little crush.” I smirk, the said friend awkwardly clearing his throat at my words.

“That’s kind of fucked up John B, but hey I got no shame baby.” He shrugged, taking another swig of his beer, making me smile, JJ was the most likeable person to ever exist.

I gave John B one final glance before moving away from the car, hoping he’d gotten that hard-on he was sporting taken care of, the look in his eyes told me I’d landed myself right in the middle of the wake of a disastrous hurricane.

“You want to walk with me to get one of those?” I asked, gesturing towards the bottle in JJ’s hand, wanting to get away from this awkward situation.

Thank God , Kiara wasn’t over here, she definitely would’ve sensed something was up. Sarah obviously had a few drinks under her belt so she hadn’t questioned us at all.

“You drink beer? Now that’s hot.” JJ smirked before dragging me away, taking me away from the storm I’d just help create.

At least for now.

#obx jj maybank #john b routledge #john b x fem!reader #outer banks #sarah cameron #rage #rafe outer banks #pope outer banks #kiara carrera #fanfic #oneshot #john b outer banks #chase stokes #obx fandom #obx fic #obx smut

[mermaidsirennikita]

What are your thoughts on the Phantom of the Opera movie?

Uhhhh they're complicated. I just rewatched it for the first time in many years (introducing it to my youngest sibling who was born three years!!! after it came out!!!) and idk. I definitely don't think it's a super solid movie, but I also think it got shit on in a way that I find extremely dated--it's too campy! It's too gaudy! It's too over the top! Like, I'm sorry, have you even vaguely heard of the musical? Even the original source material. This is the story of a middle-aged virgin who groomed an opera singer into loving him while he desperately tries to get up the courage to hold her hand. Also murder.

If anything, I think it could have been more over the top. I enjoy the visuals of the movie (the golden opera music, the wintry scenes, the Sissi dress) but honestly? I'd love to see what the fuck Baz would do with the source material. Phantom should've, imo, gotten something bombastic and bigger and more impassioned, like Moulin Rouge.

I think that Schumacher's directing issues were like, less about the *look* and more about some of the direction I think he gave the actors, a general staticness at points--I think The Point of No Return is one of the better parts of the movie, but when you compare it to how some stage productions have done it, it just doesn't go hard enough. He should've been groping her more.

Buuuut lol he couldn't have, because Emmy Rossum was underage. This is where I go to another issue, which is casting. Now, to be clear, I love Emmy Rossum, and I don't think the general flatness of her performance entirely unintentional or really her fault. She was a baby here, but I don't think the script had a very good handle on how to take Christine from the stage to the movies, and flattened her out a lot more. I do think about what Anne Hathaway, who auditioned for the role as well and is 4 years older than Emmy, who would've been able to embody the burgeoning sexuality in Christine a little more explicitly, would've done with it.

Patrick Wilson is another actor I like and he did well as Raoul, but I think there was again an issue with translating the character--Raoul is not a super popular guy, but I like him, and I actually appreciate his efforts being bigger in this movie, but! I do feel like it felt at times like the script was overly aware of Raoul not having a lot to do. And it's like... if you're padding out a character for the movie... you pad out Christine lol........... not her boyfriend................ Christine is heroine..................

And Gerard Butler... Generally, I'm not a fan, but he does have a couple movies where I think he does a good job. I love P.S. I Love You. That's the best I've ever seen him in anything. I also enjoy 300, for very different reasons. I get why the impulse was to cast a guy who was seen as "sexy" at the time, and I don't think that's a bad impulse. But like, aside from the acting, which I think could've been like... again, hornier, but that's not really his fault, but also just more volatile and vulnerable and weird............ like I'm not suggesting Adam Driver for this role lol, but I'm saying whoever tries this again should really be giving the kind of performance that actors like Adam Driver and Andrew Garfield give, is what I'm saying... Aside from all THAT lol--Butler obviously didn't have the singing chops. And I don't even think his singing was as bad as I remembered, though he does totally shout some lines and his "soar" hurts me. He's just not where he needs to be in that kind of role. He can't put the type of subtleties of emotion in his voice that he should, and tbh, very few actors who haven't done bIG musical work on the stage could, I think? It's a refined skill.

Also, Erik's makeup sucked. Like, it's very funny and adds something to watching this with others, because my sibling did go "where is it?" when he's unmasked and looks in the mirror after Music of the Night. But it's not what it should be, lol.

So yeah. I think it didn't go far enough and it didn't serve its actors well enough, and there were casting issues aside from that, but I like the camp and the extent to which it went gaudy, the gaudiness, and I have a fun time watching it. Especially when I'm drunk or stoned or both.

[falsebooles123]

The End of a Very Long Month - Diary of a Big Ole Gay

Hey Whores, this is the pretty much the diary entry for the rest of the month of April, also I am almost finished with this fucking watchlist. Which is really exciting, a sword of damacoulas over my head fully swallowed.

(I honestly just wanted a Rocky Horror Clip for shit and giggles)

but at the same time I now have so many leads and little films that I want to watch to complete the collection. Sure I don't need to watch George et Georgettes, (the french version), or Theres Three but like I might as well I've literally seen every single other film that people talk about.

but enough navel-gazing thats for later.

Lets get into the Good Stuff

Winter Kept Us Warm (1965) dir. David Secter

A movie that was so subtle gay that the actors didn't even realize thats what they were going for. No, Like for real, that is like a real thing people say about this movie.

Overall this was like a super cute movie. It was just about two guys just meeting in college and vibing and like having quickly developing a deeply intamint and insular relationship something that straight people totally do.

They were totally like ROOMMATES

anyway as a gay man who totally also didn't have a really close friendship that made me realize that hey maybe I'm into dudes this shit made me feel called out.

The Sergeant (1968) dir. John Flynn

Yeah, this kiss is noncon. Sorry to tell you.

The Sergeant is about this older guy who basically has this super toxic working relationship with this enlisted man who he essentially forces to be his secretary.

They have an uneasy friendship with The Sergeant being at turns extremly friendly and extremly cold to this man and his boring wallpaper of a girlfriend.

Anyway the whole reason thats hes like that is that HE IS A FAGGOT, HE IS A DRUNKARD, HE IS CORRUPTING THE FRENCH ARMY WITH HIS ... DEGENERACY!!!!!!

and after the dude rejects him because hes not a homo, The Sergeant just straight up fucking kills himself.

THANKS I HATE IT.

The Killing of Sister George (1968) dir. Robert Aldrich

ok first that is the cutest GIF I've ever seen.

Anyway this ones about LESBIANS HAROLD. These woman GAY, there in a fucking relationship. THEY KISS HAROLD! and they FUCK!

So yeah this was if I rememeber correctly based on a comedy play and the movie turns it into a drama but they kind of fail so its basically like a gay ass camp melodrama and I'm a little hear for it.

I do have to say that the Titelul SIster George is like TOXIC AF but I mean sos Dr. Frankfurther and I still want them to fuck me.

This film is mainly centered around an actress named June Buckridge who plays in this kind of petticoat junction, call a mid-wife type show as a sweet little nun named Sister George, (yes I know that Sisters and Nuns are techically different suck it). She is also *gasp* about to be killed off.

What follows is the fall out of that decision and her extremly toxic relationship between her and her girlfriend. Theres definetly a DMLG aspect to their relationship as well as just generally BDSM and it borders on abusive. But also just woman who like woman dressed as like fucking laural and hardy which is so fucking gay.

They knew what they were doing.

Something For Everyone (1970) dir. Hal Prince

So a couple months ago I watched this really awful porno called The Switch is on with this Guy named Jeff Stryker. So theres this one scene where Stryker is fucking this chick and her husband comes in and just starts getting cucked but then this guy just gets so fucking horny for what can only be described as a sexy bowl of oatmeal that he literally pushes his wife aside and is like UWU fuck me and Jeff Stryker without a single reaction just preceeds to start fucking this guy. It was like watching some type of milling machine and the worker just put a different grain of wood in. What I'm saying is that if your going to watch porn support actors that actually work on being entertaining and present in there sex play.

The other reason why I bring this up is that this is like if one of those Catalinina Bi-Features was actually well thought out, (this obviously excuses Bi-Coastal which is probably one of my favorite pornos ever).

This is a Comedy of Manners were a bisexual disaster who stoacicly fucks everyone trys to sleep his way into getting a castle.

There isn't a lot of PDA with the man he seduces but its actually really nice that they validated the fact that this man can be bisexual and also have like a honest to goodness relationship with this guy, and his sister, and his wife, and HIS MOM. what can I say theres SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE *Roll Credits*

Fortune and Men's Eyes (1971) dir. Harvey Hart

Ok thats a slutty image.

So heres the thing this movie is very gay. Its all about men who want to fuck other men. Sexual. It also, unfortunetly, frames that sexual desire purely through the lens of male rape and explotation.

This is a film about having a prison wife or being someone old man and a lot of the queer relationships are explotative and sexual abusive. A lot of these men are being sexual abused. Which is not a lovely time with the gays.

The film does raise a lot of interesting notions around how situration homosexuality remains seperate from normative queerness or at least simply becames another aspect of normative masculinity and in that lens I think its important to watch and study this film. But I wouldn't say watch this for fun.

Also Michael Greer does a full on drag number and this shows us his dick. Iconic faggot behaivor, we stan.

Lulu (1962) dir. Rolf Thiele

Ok I think I would have remembered this scene because she looks super fucking hot in that photo. heres whats up.

This is an adaptation of the Lulu Cycle plays by Wedeman the same plays that G.W.Pabst adapted however this chick is not in louise brooks and I'm going to hold that against her. also this movie was like super hard to get into and follow. Which I didn't have that issue with the original 1930's film. This movie also just doens't have the right energy for me. I'm sorry but Pabst made a masterpiece. Pabst woke up and said I'm gonna make a movie that goes so hard that it will be a faggots laptop background for like 5 months straight and it is.

This is like um ok theres some hot people but its not that gay. so ew.

P.J. (1968) dir. John Guillermin

So P.J is another one of these schlocky action detective movies from the 60s that were really popular and this one just so happens to have a gay bar in it.

The scene is very explotative and not in the best way to be honest. Like I love that the fags are just another group of generic ruffians for this saturday morning cartoon and that they even like beat the shit out of him. (one guy scatches him which is first HOT and also a lot to unpack). I also compare the scene to the Dyke Bar in Foxy Brown but theres a few differences.

the dyke bar has both like Femme and Butch women where the gay bar basically only has men who look like Liberace

In Foxy Brown she essentials claims or acts as the guardian for a woman that shes trying to get information out of the woman in these scenes take on a auru of queerness were as P.J. stands as stark opposition to the queer community

The Dyke Bar scene actually makes sense in context with the film. Whereas this film just feels like it shoehorns in a gay bar. For reasons. Reasons that arn't important or neccisary to the plot.

Deathwatch (1966) dir. Vic Morrow

Ok so this is based on play by noted faggot Jean Genet who also did that other hot prison movie.

So in this one Leanord Nemoy and a bunch of other guys basically fight over who gets to bang there hot illeterate cellmate. Its very gay but its also more a lot of homos doing theater and less them actually fucking and sucking like in Un Chant d'amour.

Theorem (1968) dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini

Ok this was my first Pasolini film which I watched in Spanish of all things for reasons. The Reason being that that was the only version with subtitles. Luckily this film is famously light on dialogue.

This one is a little bit like Something for Everyone except a lot more surrealistic.

The Stranger comes to a novea riche family gives them all a good fucking, (including the maid), and then just fucking leaves. They then proceed to have like a religious experience over it???

This is Pasolini so its really weird and allegorical but also like super fucking cool. Damn now I want to rewatch it.

Pink Narcissus (1971) dir. James Bidgood

Ok just imagine if Kenneth Anger made a full length feature porno and this is basically that. A young male prostitute lazes about his apartment and has a series of erotic dreams.

As a movie Its giving hints of Anger as well as de Rome and it is just an insanely weird/cool/kinda hot thing to look at.

Its on Internet Archive btw.

Fellini Satyricon (1969) dir. Federico Fellini

Ok so this is like one of those old ass Bible story epics from the 30s except its based on a roman novel or history or something and also it is the GAYEST thing you've ever seen. Basically this hot blonde guy rescues his twink husband from a guy dressed as a pig (don't ask), then they fuck, then his brother shows up and just like steals his husband and then there entire neighborhood collapses in an earthquake. After that I stopped asking questions and I'm pretty sure we don't see his hot twink husband again so RIP i guess.

To be honest I have no idea what happened in this movie but it sure was cool and i need to watch more Italian cinema.

Anyway whores thats enough out of me today. I'll probably return near the end of may with the last 10 or so films left on the watchlist.

#diary #early queer film #finding the first gay kiss #Winter Kept Us Warm 1965 #The Sergeant 1968 #The Killing of Sister George 1968 #Something for Everyone 1970 #fortune and men's eyes #Fortune and Men's Eyes 1971 #Lulu 1962 #P.J. 1968 #Deathwatch 1966 #Theorem 1968 #Pink Narcissus 1971 #Fellini Satryicon 1969 #slurs reclaimed #suicide CW #homophobia CW

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 1, Episode 1: Shattered Vows

Many times the first episode of a series isn't the best example of the show. It may not have figured out what it wants to be yet or maybe the characters haven't been fully realized. But let me tell you, this episode as a first start was fantastic. It pretty much had everything you would expect - the semi famous actors, supernatural forces coming out of nowhere, the crazy scenarios and the sexy results.

What I did notice though, in these early episodes, they seem to not really know what to do with this Hitchhiker character and how to relate him to these stories. I also need to mention that Page Fletcher was not actually the first Hitchhiker and the first few episodes were filmed with an actor named Nicholas Campbell playing the title character. The only version I can find of this episode was the version where they re-filmed his shots with Page Fletcher, so I'm not sure if anything was changed. In this particular episode, the Hitchhiker is shown hitchhiking and the main character's car drives past him fast, not bothering to stop for him. This appears to be his first mistake, possibly contributing to his downfall at the end.

But let's get into it. The episode starts with Jeff, played by Bruce Greenwood. This actor has been in a lot of things, but I mainly know him from the mostly forgotten late 1990s movie Disturbing Behavior. Yeesh, not even that awesome Harvey Danger song could save that movie. Anyways, he's apparently a professional water-skier, who doesn't like picking up hitchhikers. The Hitchhiker describes him as "not a bad guy" but comments that ambition can take people places they wouldn't usually go. This water-skier is soon to be in water way over his head.

After almost hitting the Hitchhiker with his car, he goes to an old Eastern European woman's house. We find out this is his grandmother and she is giving him a wedding gift, a old figurine of an old couple.

Thanks grandma, I'm sure this will totally fit in with my freewheeling, waterskiing lifestyle. He mentions something about how he is going to be living in a big house after he is married, so we can assume he is marrying for money. Waterskiing doesn't pay too much I guess.

Then we meet his wife-to-be or the old bag I guess. She is a very attractive semi-older woman played by Alexandra Stewart. She looked so familiar to me, but looking at what she's done, I realized I was remembering her from a couple episodes of Highlander, the series. They have sex while a bird watches.

It's hard to tell from this screenshot, but this bird is definitely forced to watch their intimacy and if you think that doesn't come up later, you are wrong.

After the soft core, we get a nice establishing dinner scene. Introducing, the sexy step-daughter, who says...well I have no idea. Let's just call her Mushmouth.

This is the old bride-to-be's step-daughter and you can tell there is some friction between the two and maybe some heat between her and Jeff?

He's just watching his favorite TV channel, the pool, when what do we have here? They have sex in a jacuzzi while there are no birds watching.

Then the blessed day arrives! The wedding day is here and I mean I know this was filmed in Canada but why is this bride dress like Anne of Avonlea? We get it, she's old.

This is where we find out all about Mushmouth's inheritance which she only gets if her step-mother dies. Hmmm interesting.

Then the maid, Edith Bunker lights candles on the wedding cake right near that old figurine from Grandma.

The wedding couple suddenly feel like they are burning up and then...

The couple also falls over after this figurine falls and gets a face full of cake. You know, I'm getting some serious Teen Witch vibes from this when she makes that voodoo doll of her teacher. That bird is watching this too by chance. Is this like The Crow, and the Hitchhiker is seeing all this through from the bird's point of view?

After another experiment involving the figurine, Jeff has now pieced together the connection and has a brilliant plan for being able to have his cake and eat it too. He will kill his new-old bride using the figurine so that he can have the young girl and all the money...wait did she say she was going to stay with him after she got her inheritance? Boy this guy is confident.

The plan starts with Jeff taking his new-old wife's friend scuba diving. Because you know he's a water-skier, so he's an expert. They don't get far from the land while Mushmouth is taking part in the other part of the plan, placing a glass case over the figurine.

Jeff has his regulator in, so he can breathe fine, but his wife suffocates and dies. Wow, I can't believe that worked.

After the funeral, it's time to have sex, and that bird is kept from the action yet again. He must not be happy about it because he squawks like crazy, escapes the cage and makes his way towards that figurine. You would think if this thing was basically the cause for his life and death, they would keep it in a safer place.

Blood starts pouring out of Jeff. Before you can say "scratch his eyes out", the bird does just that. By scratching the figurine of course.

He runs outside and then...shattered vows.

Mushmouth has nothing left to do but stare confused at what happened. Well at least she's rich right?

The Hitchhiker doesn't have anything too clever to close this, by voiceover only at this point. Something about stumbling into Hell.

Okay, but my question is why didn't the waterskiing come up again? Wouldn't it have made more sense if he was a scuba diving instructor at the beginning? It never comes back around.

All in all, a great start to this series. You get deception, someone wanting too much and a horrific, confusing ending. I can't wait to see what's next on this Hitchhiker's adventure.

#TheHitchhiker #hbo #ShatteredVows #bruce greenwood

[drakenology]

the yakuza wife - yakuzaboss!bakugo x housewife reader - inspired by @hanji-is-life ‘s sexy ass. 

yakuza au

tw: violence, sadism, mentions of blood, smut, cum, cussing, daddy/ddlg kinks undertones, mentions of guns, very much harley quinn and joker only joker actually loves harley in this ya know?

“where the fuck is my money?” bakugo asks this bludgeoned man tied up to a metal chair in some god forsaken warehouse god only knows where. 

“please sir, i’ll get it to you as soon as I can! please stop!” the man pleads, flinching when bakugo raises his fist to land a mean left hook into his jaw with a dark chuckle. 

“you know you shouldn’t borrow from people if you have no intentions in payin’ em back. it’s fuckin’..” he pauses before taking a crowbar and bashing the man in both his knees, blood curdling screams filling the empty space. “rude!”

bakugo smirks as the man begs for mercy, pulling a set of pliers of his pocket and holding them up to the man’s face to tease him, grabbing by his neck to make him meet his intimidating gaze. 

“shoulda thought of that before trying to playing me for a fuckin’ fool.. hey, I wonder how many teeth I can pull outta ya before your weak ass passes out.” he grunts, waving the plier in his face until the sound of his phone ringing stops him from doing anything.

“you’re lucky I gotta take this.” he mumbles, taking a piece of dirty cloth and shoving it into his mouth to keep him quiet.

bakugo turns away and rolls up his sleeve, setting up his tools for torture as he answers the phone. 

“hi baby!” you chime, at the mall having the time of your life with his credit card. 

“hey. ‘m workin’ whaddaya want?” he says, holding up his pliers and sitting them down on the table as his hostage screams in the background. 

“just checking on you, dummy! whatcha want for dinner, hm? i know you haven’t eaten yet.” you say, holding up different dresses to your frame to imagine yourself in them. “hey, pink or powder blue?”

“pink. and ‘m not hungry. you’ve got security with you, right baby?” he asks, kicking the man onto the floor with a loud thud. 

“of course. you won’t let me leave the house without them.” you respond, not even paying attention to the muffled screams you hear in the background. you’ve learned not to ask too many questions when it comes to being a yakuza wife. 

“gotta keep my baby safe, right? listen, princess I gotta go. i’ll be home before 9 okay?” 

you suck your teeth and roll your eyes, “fine. be careful okay?”

“always am. love you baby.” as he hangs up and returns to his task. 

the difference between you and katsuki was night and day. everyone knew you to be so sweet and kind; unbeknownst to them all how you ended up with a cretin like Bakugo. even though Katsuki was immoral in many ways, he knew marrying you was the right thing to do. who else would want to dress his wounds and pick out his suits for the day?

katsuki demanded you quit your job. in fact he came with you to put in your two weeks notice, tough scowl staining his features as your boss signed the approval with shaking hands.

from that day on he ensured you were well taken care of and that marrying him and becoming his housewife came with many perks.

for starters, your husband was loaded. all those years of extorting and money laundering paid off every time you come home with a couple shopping bags from the mall.

katsuki loved lavishing you in the finest of everything, adoring how you look in designer. so much so, he fucks you by the bay window of your luxury penthouse, the Chanel dress he just bought you hiked up over your ass as his calloused fingers make way into your mouth. you’re pinned to the glass, bare breasts pressed against the window as he railed you from behind. and he wonders why you turned out to be a spoiled brat.

your gifts always made you stand out above the rest. many men fawn over you and he knows this. just a small price to pay for having a fine ass wife. but if anyone ever forgot their place, if anyone ever got to close. well. that’d be the last time you’d ever see them. course you have no idea why. but even though katsuki loved you with all his heart, you could be a real pain in the ass. you were so bratty, especially when he was busy. 

one day you came trotting into his office in the middle of some business deal. whatever. your jimmy choos popped and you needed a new pair before the yacht party you were attending started. 

“daddy’s taking care of business right now, okay? go wait outside.”

“no! you promised we’d go shopping! I need new shoes what the fuck am I supposed to do with these?” you whine, pouting like usual to get your way. bakugo’s brow raised, walking towards you and gesturing for the meeting to continue without him. his hand rested on your lower back as he escorted you out.  

he fucked your brains in in the next room for disobeying him, panties around your ankles, your charm anklet jingling as he picked up your legs. 

“spoiled fuckin’ brat. told you to wait didn’t I? hm? or did you make a scene ‘cause you wanted my dick?” your head hangs back as your hips are held down by him, thrusts brutal as you cry for him to slow down, face turned away from his. he grabs your chin and turns you around harshly with his scarred and calloused hands, bruised knuckles turning white with a tight grip. 

“look at me when i’m fuckin’ talkin’ to you.” 

he came inside you when he was done, pulling your panties up for you as it dripped down your leg. 

“now.. back to what I was doin’. tell the driver to take your ass home.” he huffs with a zip of his pants and a shake in his sleeves to fix them. bakugo leaves you on the desk, leaving the door cracked for you to leave when you got yourself together. and when you did you could hardly hold yourself up, holding your high heels in your hand as you limp to the car waiting outside for you. 

having a yakuza boss as a husband was always exciting. something in you liked the danger; the thrill.

you tell this tale to your other socialite girlfriends and they almost never believe you.

you were out with bakugo on a date when work called. to your dismay, he had to get up and leave. you insisted on being brought along, hating being left alone in that big house that was often empty without him. he agreed but only if you promised to be quiet like a good little girl. 

when you arrive at some warehouse (the same one mentioned earlier), a man was already hog tied on the ground, muffled screams behind a piece of duck tape as bakugo ripped it off. you sat by a table, legs folded in annoyance. this interrupted date night? you scoff and fold your arms. 

“ah. good seeing you old friend. remember me?” he asks, taunting him a little with a gun in his hand pressing it against his jaw as the man let out muffled pleas for him not to shoot. 

“you tried stealing from me. fuckin’ idiot. my boys caught you in some hotel with your little girlfriend. did you think you were gonna have a victory fuck after you made off with my money, hm?” bakugo asks, hitting him upside the head with the butt of his pistol.

you jump at the sound of the blow, a small part of you turned on watching your husband beat the crap out of a complete stranger. your pussy starts to ache when you peer over at bakugo’s strong tattooed arms as he flung his jacket aside, rolling his white sleeves up to ensure his expensive suit doesn’t get soiled. 

“oh fuck, where are my manners? this is my lovely wife, y/n. say hi baby.” he coos at you, a switch from rough to gentle when he spoke to you. you smile and wave, the hostage sobbing out a weak greeting when bakugo demands him to. 

“anyways. what’d you do with the money, asswipe? gonna tell me or are you gonna make me fuck you up in front of my pretty wife. god, look at ‘er, ain’t she gorgeous? you know I was about 30 minutes from railing her before you had to go along and ruin our night. I should kill you right here.” bakugo turns his head towards you with a sick look in his eye. 

“whaddaya think, princess? what should I do to this motherfucker, huh?” he asks. 

“smack him again. he ruined date night.” you grumble, folding your arms. 

“he sure did, baby.” bakugo says, punching the hostage in his jaw. he gestured for his men to crowd around him, all of them taking turns kicking and beating him with metal bars. katsuki walks towards you and pulls you into a passionate kiss, a bit of blood on his knuckles as he pulled your hair. god, this whole situation was sick. but why was it so hot?

bakugo carries you away to the car, tells the driver to fuck off somewhere while he rails you in the back seat, knowing his men will take care of the rest of what he started inside the warehouse. you straddle his lap, bouncing up and down on his stiff cock as the car rocked back and forth. the car windows fog up as your body heat commingled throughout the space, your hands pressing against the glass to gain to balance as you rode his fat cock. 

“fuck, daddy. you’re so hot when you’re handling business. ooh, you’re dick’s so hard.” you purr, bakugo’s hand pinching and playing with your breast as his hips thrust upwards. He smirks at you, almost a bit shocked you got as turned on as he did from the pain he inflicted.

“hmm, I know baby. god, you’re sick. getting this wet from watching me beat up some punk. dirty fuckin’ girl.” he huffed into your hair, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck followed by harsh nibbles.

truth is even though you were so sweet and caring, you had a dark side no one knew about. I mean why else would you marry into the yakuza? 

you were both fucking insane. 

#bnha smut #bnha bakugou #bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #bnha todoroki #bnha kirishima #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo x reader