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1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt · 1 year

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Today on popping the corn and feeding the children, what do you folks think of this discussion? :)

I'm always curious to hear what other Trek fans, especially queer Trek fans, think about our place in Trek history and how we fare as the queer participants within our fandom. What have your experiences been like?

Overwhelmingly I've found a great reception and a welcoming attitude, but I admit that has increased considerably since the 90s. However, there are still some Trek fans who seem to be vehemently in denial about queer history in Star Trek, or the fact that anyone who has worked on Trek has pro-LGBT attitudes. This always surprises me considering some of the blatant queer content we have already seen in Star Trek such as the Jadzia Dax and Lenara Kahn kiss.

Anyway, I enjoyed the discussion that followed and seeing the overwhelming outpouring of support coming from Star Trek fans in response to this thread.

Here was my two cents contribution:

"No, what they said was factual.

Have you forgotten Nichelle Nichols was indeed an African American woman in the core seven bridge crew back in 1966?

Or the fact that Gene Roddenberry went out of his way to write The Motion Picture Novel, creating the term "T'hy'la: friend, brother, lover" so that fans could choose which interpretations of Kirk and Spock they saw fit? He also embraced K/S fans and hired a number of them to write the earliest Star Trek novels, including the very first official one (The New Voyages Vol. 1 & 2) which included slash fiction as well as Gene's approval/forward in the books.

In case anyone has forgotten, here's a little bit of background on Gene Roddenberry and his perspectives on queerness in Star Trek.

He admitted that in his early life he was very affected by how society and culture treated the LGBT community, and that he too found himself subjugating and judging others for that lifestyle because it was what people did at that time. As he got older and had more life experience, he began working with a number of queer artists in Hollywood -- and through TOS, a number of queer individuals began asking questions about Kirk and Spock.

Instead of vehemently shutting down this perspective, Roddenberry was intrigued, and saw potential to tap into a large audience (LGBT) that most others didn't want to go near or acknowledge publicity-wise. He saw it as an opportunity to expand the fanbase while also pushing yet another envelope.

But with the heat already on the show for what they'd already pushed, he found he was often stuck between what he'd like to do and what production would let him get away with. There are a number of Kirk and Spock scenes in scripts that got cut out for leaning a little too obviously romantic. Tiny trickles of that content still made it in were infamous moments like the backrub scene in Shore Leave. Even the 2009 movie had a K/S moment while Spock Prime and Kelvin Spock talked that was written and filmed that was cut out of the final product.

Queer subtext and coding has always been relentlessly weeded away at with an excuse ready to go for why they always try to cut us out, but we all know it's because they are scared of the homophobic backlash and ratings hits. Look how violently homophobes went after the gay romance episode of The Last of Us **just this year**. This has always been our reality, so for someone like Roddenberry to make efforts in the 70s? That was massive.

But Gene as well as the queer/slash Trek community managed to accomplish some things in the 70s which I'm surprised more folks don't talk about or give much credit.

In the same TMP novel which features "T'hy'la" and the famous footnote, Gene cleverly wrote Kirk with a bisexual/pansexual lens: Kirk describes himself as *preferring* women but being open to "physical love in **any** of its many Earthly, alien, and mixed forms." (Direct quote from Genes book). Basically, Captain Kirk was DTF with whoever if there was a connection, which was a very progressive take for a character in a novel written in 1979, but made sense for the future which would have a lot less hang ups about sex and love compared to our current rather puritan/conservative society.

I also prefer women, but I married a man. Shout out to Gene Roddenberry for giving us a seat at the table back in the 70's when folks *still* try to insist there is no place for K/S or queer concepts in Trek, because he made efforts -- however small -- to employ queer people and show queer perspectives. According to David Gerrold, LGBT+ representation was a big thing that Gene personally pushed for in TNG and wanted various depictions of love/couples in the Risa scenes, to name one example.

In the 70s, fanzines led to meetings and swapped fanmade magazines, which got so big that they needed hotel centers, then convention centers, then one day the TOS cast came to one and what we know as modern fan conventions were born -- inspiring even George Lucas who attended Trek conventions in the 70s and saw how popular Trek was in syndication; it was a great climate to launch his Space Opera. Star Wars then became so huge that we got TMP.

But none of that would have happened without the level of organization, passion, and creativity that those fans poured into Star Trek and their characters after it got cancelled and went into syndication.

Without queer folks we wouldn't have George Takei, Theodore Sturgeon who gave us Tribbles, Bill Theiss and his amazing TOS costumes, Mike Minor's art direction, Merritt Butrick, David Gerrold (writer for TOS, TAS, TNG) to name a few of many queer contributors to Trek that Roddenberry respected and tried to go to bat for wherever he could in a climate that was absolutely impossible to gain an inch in.

At a time during the 70s and 80s when so many people resented and feared the queer community and wanted us to disappear, especially in the 80s during the AIDS epidemic which many homophobes claimed was "God's punishment to the gay community" or "Gods's answer" to our "hedonism", thinking we'd gotten our just desserts and should just disappear . . .

During that time, Gene Roddenberry gave us queer folks a place to say: "You know what? Sure. Write your stories. TV says you guys shouldn't exist, they pull books with queer people off the shelves and burn them. Laws exist specifically to forbid you guys from loving each other, and call you mentally ill. You can't even hold hands in public. But I'm going to validate you guys and invite you to write novels or work for me, try to see what we can get by production, and allow you to see yourselves in my characters if you want to. There's a place for you in our fandom."

He gave us bi/pan Kirk, he gave us K/S is open to interpretation. In Phase 2 Kirk's surviving nephew Peter, son of his brother Sam from Operation: Annihilate!, was going to be written as gay and living on the Enterprise with his partner -- that also got chopped and reworked into a script that wouldn't get used until decades later. That was huge at a time that being queer was officially listed as a mental illness, and villainized due to the AIDS crisis.

So before you try to dismiss or tell K/S + queer Trek fans whether or not they deserve a seat at the table, remember that Gene Roddenberry was among the **first** to pull that seat out for us in a climate that was ruthlessly against LGBT+ folks." -- 1Shirt2ShirtRedShirtDeadShirt

P.S: Have some cute bisexual/pansexual K/S pride gifs. :) Pride month is a hop, skip and a jump away.

LLAP!🖖💚

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ivyinne · 24 days

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I feel like I'm in the minority here but I just feel like... I don't like Stuart. And I don't mean I think he's boring or reprehensible or a badly written character, I specifically mean that I don't think his relationship with Neil is as affectionate or parental as people make it out to be.

Fanon Stuart is overwhelmingly portrayed as someone who cares about Neil. Being actively involved in his life, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Fanfics even go so far as to have Stuart fight for Neil if he ever incurs the Moriyamas' disfavour — and I love that relationship. I love that exploration, I love seeing a Neil who at least has his mother's family in his corner.

But in canon, we hardly have any evidence to support that version of Stuart. All of their encounters have an element of business to them; Stuart rescues Neil from Nathan but that wasn't what he came down there to do — he came there because he just really, really disliked Nathan. Finding Neil was unexpected, and the first thing Stuart did was leave him there as a distraction for the FBI.

Still, it's not like he could have helped things on that front. The same way he tells Neil he can't protect Neil after the whole deal with the Moriyamas has been struck — it's just not something that can be helped. In TSC, Stuart comes to meet Neil to walk him through a plan designed to protect the Moriyamas — because that's who Stuart has allied with, and that's who Neil belongs to. It's a business transaction with a common denominator, and I see very little evidence that these two have the sort of relationship fanon maintains they do.

I know there are crumbs here and there to indicate that they do have a positive relationship, I just don't think they consider each other family, or that there is even any uncle-nephew bonding going in. Neil orders the hit on Grayson, and Stuart treats it like it's a query from a stranger. Really, Stuart? It's your organisation and you're not even gonna offer your own nephew a family discount?! I know Neil has his blood money but he's spent so much of it — and he's a student!! Who has pledged 80% of his future earnings to a crime family!! Maybe just do him a solid this once?

I think it's best explained by this example — in the EC we came to know that the Moriyamas will eventually end up getting rid of Stuart in favour of another leader within the Hatford set-up, and that before doing so they will ask Neil if he's going to be a problem when it happens. And Neil will be pretty broken up about it, but he's certainly not going to be a problem.

Which is the crux of the matter: as the canon dynamics stand, Neil and Stuart's relationship is simply too regulated by a careful balance of politics and crime and power for them to ever view each other as family. They operate in fucked-up contexts and their normal interactions are too much the product of belonging to crime families and knowing the price of necessity. Do I think they're callous about each other? No. But there's certainly no overflowing familial warmth there either.

I love that fandom explores the potential of what their dynamic could have been. But I don't think it's canon. Feel free to share any disagreements or alternate reading you have of the text, though, because I'm really open to changing my mind! And I'm also really curious about why a large part of the fandom has interpreted Stuart as having such strong pride and attachment over Neil in the first place.

#tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #stuart hatford

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olderthannetfic · 1 month

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I understand that nobody deserves to be questioned for their own preferences and truly there is nothing actually wrong with preferring m/m over f/f for any reason what so ever; it doesn't matter in and of itself that ship stats are so lopsided; we don't have to "do" anything about it besides encourage people who prefer f/f to be the change they want to see in the world, and so on.

But "Men Are More Interesting Than Women" is an idea we can all agree that patriarchal society pushes on all of us from childhood, right? Both in real life and in fiction, right? So then why is it so controversial to point out that maybe-- just maybe-- this could affect ship stats on a large scale? That this is an example of a wider trend of people believing that Men Are More Interesting?

I'm not even arguing that this necessarily is (exclusively) TRUE - there are more factors in play and other anons have made very good arguments pointing them out! But the resistance to even considering such a basic feminist explanation-- even as one factor among many-- is so strong from some people that I wonder if it comes from a hostility towards feminism itself.

I have not, by and large, seen much pushback against the idea that society primes us to see men as people and women as space aliens less default.

I have seen lots of people going "There aren't enough interesting female characters, and that's why I don't ship f/f", which I agree falls a little flat in this day and age. For many types of media, there are options with lots of interesting women in the main cast. What people really mean is that the big budget live action and/or fic fandom with twenty long, good works in progress posting per day isn't serving them the kinds of female characters they'd like.

I agree that we should abandon this particular "no good female characters" talking point. It's not actually what's going on.

But, again, this topic rarely comes up in majority het spaces devoted to the latest bad boy romance or the like. It rarely comes up in spaces that are full of cis men. There is overwhelmingly a context and subtext to these conversations that is:

You, amorphously queer, vaguely woman-shaped being, justify yourself for the crime of liking m/m!

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simnostalgia · 7 months

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The Pedophile Hunts in Progressive Spaces Were an Alt-Right Operation to Cause a Rift in Our Communities.

So, I need to talk about something for a minute that has been REALLY bothering me even though the drama about it is pretty much over. I'm stirring it back up because it's not sitting right on my soul. I know I'm gonna get flack for this but I don't care.

A few weeks ago someone started referring to an MTS user as a pedophile because he posted a picture of a teen sim in their underwear. However, the problem was that it was pretty much immediately a reason that he was targeted for a harassment campaign against him.

Which, no, we're not going to ruin a man's life over this. If you think I'm a bad person for that- the unfollow button is above. Block me. We Are Not Friends. Goodbye.

This isn't even about The Sims community, or at least not just about it. You've been tricked. I'm sorry but you have. This is obviously bigger than this ONE small drama but it's obvious that this is being used as a manipulation tactic on a macro level to create distrust and a way to break down people easily. And it's specifically henious since it's targeting queer people with propaganda which has historically been used to demonize them.

This sudden fear of pedophiles was a targeted effort by the far right to sow discord in the queer community and I can prove it.

Firstly, 4chan and other online arenas have been doing missions like this for YEARS. Some are successful and others aren't. They were responsible for the discourse surrounding whether or not being "bisexual" made you transphobic.

Second and MOST importantly, I NEED you to know about the alt-right group curiously named Gays Against Groomers. This group was created to undermine the queer community. They've regularly supported anti-lgbt bills and targeted schools. This group is a psyop.

The MO of these sorts of movements has ALWAYS been packaging harmful content in a way which would resonate with queer social media spheres to get them to claim it as their own and the propagate it. This is a MARKETING company. This was a MARKETING STRATEGY.

When you repeat a lot of these things, using the specific verbiage that you do, you're following the plans of people like Jamee Michell.

They specifically targeted areas that had large groups of young impressionable queer people who wouldn't already be familiar with the tactic of equating gays with pedophiles so that they would create a sort of panopticon. This is what has caused this "obsession with pedophiles" this was not an accident.

Hyper-vigilance of groomers, a hatred of pedophiles, was the place to start and then creating a ever-changing definition of what a 'groomer' was is just a long play to make things like 'being a drag queen' a stand in for pedophilia.

For people around you, in your fandom communities who are 'progressive' but seem overly obsessed with grooming. Fandom spaces are often targeted as they're overwhelmingly queer. We know for a fact that the proship debate came specifically from this sort of messaging.

Keep an eye on them. They might not be who you think they are. And if you're mad at me for saying this?

I'm sorry but I'm not afraid to align myself with some potentially terrible people to protect queer people from being falsely accused.

#original #pro-ship #proshipping #proshipper #proshitter #proshit #pro-shitter

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entomolog-t · 2 months

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is there any reason u think small knights are kind of a common theme used in the g/t community? i’ve seen it used a few times and am a bit mystified by the coincidence

- 80

OOH Thats a good question!

I think theres lots of factors at play there- The main one I can think of off the top of my head goes as follows.

Subverted expectation

Charismatic Archetype

Easily "accessible" g/t premise

Symbolism

First off, its a great role reversal/subversion of expectations. Knights are seen as protectors, a beacon of strength and what have you, so making the knight small is an easy way to make something enticing to an audience since it defies expectation. This can be for comedic reasons, or angst ( or both). I think the biggest factor is going against the grain creates new avenues/perspectives to explore/thus high intrigue.

The second point is that knight are a fairly fun and charismatic archetype- their role is already exciting, and you don't necessarily need a lot of background knowledge to use the archetype to make a compelling story. So while prevalent in g/t media quite often, I think they are also quite prevalent in media as a whole (especially fandom), and would fall in the same "Charismatic Archetype Bin" as other such characters like witches, vampires, mafia bosses, pirates etc. Though I do think knights stand out particularly in g/t, which leads me to my next point-

Its an easily accessible g/t genre. Adding a g/t element can at times be difficult- Giants in a modern world usually mean a lot of question about world building pop up, as well as logistics. A knight setting is normally much more primitive, and often times has a fantastical or magical element, thus taking a lot of the "How can we make this work" leg work off the creator's shoulders.

Lastly I think Knights as a whole offer a lot of interesting symbolism. Certain aspects could be a combination of things such as strength, duty, loyalty, obedience, bravery, dedication etc... And those make for a very interesting character, especially when making that character small.

How do they handle losing/not being able to use their strength?

Does their sense of duty crumble in the face of someone so much larger than them? Does their bravery crumble ?

How do those traits look on someone so much smaller? Is it inspiring? Sad? Comical? Infuriating (A good ol combination is my favorite)

Whatever the case, knights act as a very clear symbol in both the cultural zeitgiest and within the unique perceptions of an individual. Its easy for one's mind to project particular feelings onto a symbol.

For example, someone who may highly value duty/responsibility could easily (both consciously or not) project those feelings onto a knight character. Making that character small could be a way to vent/explore the idea of ones responsibilities being overwhelmingly large, or as if you feel like you've lost the capacity to deal with them.

Another may write about others not viewing them as capable because of their size, despite having the skills and abilities of a knight- they just aren't seen seriously.

Knights offer a really loaded character archetype, especially in the G/t sphere, since the symbolism of both themselves as a knight and then the concept of being small can create such a variety of metaphors for the audience.

#I am such a sucker for tiny knights #jksdfglskdh #Love em to bits #My brain spat this out so fast #g/t community #g/t prompts #AskEnto

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anghraine · 1 year

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I saw a post the other day about the absence of aristocrats in Austen's novels (in the sense of British peers of the realm, or at least people with titles, and not merely a social elite). I see this raised as a point pretty frequently, both in fandom and academia, and I find it intriguing that it comes up so much because the premise is ... wrong?

There are actually quite a few peers of the realm or immediate relatives of peers in Austen's novels. And that's even considering that knights and baronets are not included in this. Knights and baronets are technically not nobility, and knights especially could be quite low-status compared to the extended families of peers—e.g., look at the dynamic between Fitzwilliam Darcy, untitled grandson of an earl, and Sir William Lucas, a tradesman turned knight.

Some examples of canonical Austen characters who would generally be considered aristocracy in a fairly narrow sense:

Lord Courtland (unknown rank)

Lord Longtown (a marquis)

A viscount and his wife Eleanor (née Eleanor Tilney)

Lord — (Darcy's uncle, an earl, and one of the only peers in Austen's published novels with an openly redacted title, IMO as a reference with plausible deniability to the RL Earl Fitzwilliam)

Lord —'s son, Colonel (the Hon.) [?] Fitzwilliam, and his older brother, the heir

Lord —'s father, the previous earl

The previous earl's daughters, Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Lady Anne Darcy

Lord Ravenshaw, the host of the aborted theatricals mourned by John Yates, and Lady Ravenshaw

(The Hon.) John Yates

A duke also at the theatricals

Lord Stornaway and his wife Flora, Lady Stornaway

Lord St. Ives, a newly-made peer scorned by Sir Walter Elliot

Lady Dalrymple, a relative of the Elliots and widow of a viscount, and her daughter, the Hon. [?] Carteret

Lady Susan Vernon, the spectacular villain of "Lady Susan" (her rank tells us she is the daughter of an earl or above)

Some of these figures (and others) are familiar to most readers. Quite a few aren't. I don't think this is on the readership. Many of the noble characters in Austen are entirely offstage figures, mentioned once or twice. So why is the question even worth bringing up?

Well, I think it's interesting that she does include them in the social world she depicts, but largely relegates them faaaar to the periphery of that world. And the noble or noble-adjacent characters who do appear in person are overwhelmingly the relatives of peers, not peers themselves.

Part of this, I think, is avoiding trouble. I mean, if the person who confronted Elizabeth at the end of P&P was not Lady Catherine, but Lady Catherine's brother the earl (complete with the allusion to Lord Fitzwilliam!), that might register to contemporaries as a lot more confrontational towards the nobility. Aiming the critique of snobbery at the earl's sister (and nephew) threads that needle carefully.

But apart from that, although the nobility of Austen's novels differ in character and background, from Lord St. Ives (son of a curate) to the performing duke, there is something that most have in common.

Most of them simply do not matter very much. They're generally over there, somewhere, doing something that the more major characters don't really care about. Or they simply exist. The ones we know something about either fail to impose their wills on the world around them, or aren't in a position to try. The gathered nobles' play in MP is disrupted by the course of nature, Lady Catherine and Lady Anne's plans for their children fail, Lady Susan has to scrape quasi-victory out of the wreckage of her schemes, etc.

And that's the minority that we know much about at all. Most are just part of the wallpaper of Austen's world. And I feel like that's the point. The nobility are integrated into the background of Austen's novels for verisimilitude. Their existence is part of that social world, as it would be in life. But it's hard not to come away feeling that she neither likes nor cares much about them. And if you exclude just one of her novels, Pride and Prejudice, the impression of the aristocracy's presence in her world goes way down.

I think this is partly why there's a sense that fandom is way more into the nobility than Austen herself was. Partly this is the influence of Regency romance/Heyer tropes. But partly it's because ... like, 90% of Austen fanfic is P&P fic and a bunch of it essentially has to deal with the Fitzwilliams. In Austen's larger oeuvre, though, the shadow they cast is largely an exception to the rule.

Normally, she includes them only to shove them off the stage. And that's kind of fun.

#anghraine babbles #long post #austen blogging #sorry not tagging all the characters #anghraine's meta #austen fanwank

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the-fo0l · 1 year

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Tbh i won't mind if this acc ever becomes a 47 fan acc cuz i barely see any 47 fanfics😭 and i'm simp for that man<3(im recently in the fandom too)

Can i request a yandere 47 with a sleepy reader? Who basically just sleep everywhere and everywhere that would be interesting and probably stressful for him lol

Yandere!47 x sleepy reader

Notes: i think i would kinda mind if this became a 47 fan acc, don't get me wrong, i love him w all my heart but i have other characters and ideas

Warnings: none, I'm not a native english speaker, im totally fluent but this made me question my skills a bit

The drive back home was never quite fast enough.

The headlights were the only source of light on the rural road. Not like there was much to illuminate though, the night was overwhelmingly dark and the windsheild wipers couldn't do much against the pouring rain.

A palpable anxiety hung in the air, one that was only amplified by the fact that, aside for the harsh sounds of wind and rain outside, everything was completely silent.

God. He missed you so much

Your smile, your laugh, your touch, your expressions, opinions, thoughts, even your playful teasing.

This particular mission had taken unusually long. Well, the kill itself was quick, but the process of infiltrating for the required intel took much longer than he would've liked. He even had to spend a night in a hotel, not like he could sleep anyways. At least during the extra days away he had time to get you a few gifts (and by "a few" i mean seventeen).

His paranoia grew every passing minute that he wasn't with you, it was funny, how only you can bring out that kind of emotion in him. Of course a part of him knew you were okay, the house was stoked with everything you could ever need plus if someone broke through the security system he'd be the first one to know.

For a moment, 47's brought out of his thoughts as the road transitions from asphalt to gravel and the drive itself gets more uneven and noisy. It was a comforting sign that home wasn't much further.

Still, he couldn't help but be worried, worried about how you were doing, worried about how felt about him being gone for so weirdly long, worried over irrational scenarios where you accidentally hurt yourself.

It was times like these he wanted nothing more than to call you, to hear your voice and to talk to you, but he couldn't, he had made sure there was no line of communication between you two, thus no chance of calls getting traces.

So he kept driving, it was all he could do. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice how his grip on the steering wheel tightened and pressure on the accelerator got increased.

Would you be in the living room, binging that show you like? In the kitchen, having one of the pre-made dinners he prepared for you? In the bedroom, reading? Relaxing? Or, as you so often did, napping?

Relief washed over him once the house was in view. He could see that some lights were on but he couldn't see you in any of the large windows of the modern house.

He hastily parked, grabbed the supply bags and practically ran to the front door.

The door smoothly slid open and 47 practically threw his bags on the floor, he couldn't care less about anything besides seeing you right now.

There was no sign of altercation in the house. Though, if someone were smart enough to find your location (and be stupid enough to think they'd get away with it) they probably wouldn't leave a trace.

After all, there was no shortage of people who wanted 47 dead, and they certainly wouldn't be afraid to use you against him (they should be). He couldn't even trust Diana with the knowledge of your existence.

The first floor was dimly lit, you never did like using the big light. A few dishes were left out in the kitchen and on the coffee table, and you had clearly made yourself comfortable with the pillows and blankets on the couch, but you were nowhere to be seen.

47 made his way upstairs, quickly clearing other rooms on the way, since he was rather certain of where he'd find you.

He opened the bedroom door a lot more cautiously and carefully stepped inside.

You were in a deep sleep, the blanket only partly covering your body. You had made yourself into the most comfortable position possible and he couldn'thelp but smile at the sight.

He should have expected this, the sound of rain outside had always been relaxing to you. It would be a crime to disturb you when you looked so peaceful, not that 47 had considered it.

He slowly sat down at the edge of the bed and took you in, your messy hair, relaxed expression, slow breathing. You looked like the most beautiful person in the world, the best person in the world, and you were, at least to him.

God. He'd missed you so much.

The longer he sat there admiring you the harder he felt his heart swell with overwhelming adoration and love. He'd spent nearly a week yearning to get home, and only now that he was sitting beside, knowing you were safe, did he feel truly at home. It was a foreign feeling for most of his life, home. Before meeting you all it meant was the house one lived in most, but now, this house you two shared could get blown to pieces and he wouldn't care, as long as you were safe, and happy.

After a while he gently laid an arm over your hip and leaned in to give you a chaste kiss on the forehead.

His body and mind weren't quite ready to sleep just yet, so he begrudgingly pushed himself to get up. Now in a much calmer state of mind, he went to put away his gear and clean up the house. He wanted to prepare for when you woke, he wanted you to wake up to the smell of your favorite breakfast (plus the gifts he got you).

He could already picture it. You groggily stumbling downstairs, your eyes lighting up when you see him in the kitchen, you hugging and greeting him like you usually do-

-He couldn't wait <3

#image you wake up and his blue eyed ass is just staring at you like 👁👁#not sure how i feel abt this one guyysssssss #agent 47 x reader #yandere agent 47 #yandere agent 47 x reader #yandere hitman

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captain-lovelace · 1 year

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That post about fandom Discord servers being bad because they’re “exclusive” is honestly… I think it’s not wrong that it sucks that fandom activity is moving to Discord but being quote-unquote exclusive is not the primary reason. Large fandom servers suck because they take people who like the same thing but hate each other in a space where neither can get away from the other without shutting themselves off from all community activity, which creates a hostile environment that breeds discourse. Large fandom servers suck because they are overwhelmingly poorly moderated, which can lead to everything from people accidentally doxxing themselves (or purposefully doxxing each other) to posting violently racist content. Large fandom servers suck because moving fan activity to Discord runs the risk of whatever creative endeavors are posted on the server being completely lost if anything happens to it. So ultimately while exclusivity might be an issue— like, I can see people who don’t use Discord feeling left out if most fan activity moves to a server— it is in no way the only or largest issue with fandom servers being a primary forum!

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queenimmadolla · 10 months

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A majority of the time, this fandom is straight Shit™ to the writers here. Readers are jerks to writers, writers are jerks to writers, there’s just no real winning. Positivity is preached but followed less than maybe 15% of the time. I know it’s not all of you but it’s an overwhelmingly large amount. I’d advise you to follow as many writers as you can right now because by the time summer is over, this fandom will have sent most of them packing, and there’s gonna be like 10 left.

And that’s gonna be really fucking sad considering how big, full of energy and nice this community used to be. Really fucking sad.

#most of us have to make writing sessions just so we can motivate each other now #its not feeling very fun anymore

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mysaldate · 2 years

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Why Vil’s overblot matters and why the fandom was wrong

With chapter 5 coming to twst en, there will inevitably be people who completely misrepresent what the overblot is about (again) and people who will call Vil shallow and undeserving of compassion (again). So let me try and explain why Vil’s overblot matters so much more than a lot of the fandom gives it credit for, what makes it different from the other overblots thus far, and why the start of chapter 6 was such a massively harmful gut-punch.

Obviously, there will be Twisted Wonderland spoilers up ahead. Not only for chapters 5 and 6 but for overblots in general as well as the Halloween event. I won’t talk much about Idia’s overblot, or anything beyond the start of chapter 6 though since that chapter is very uncomfortable for me to talk about. If you want sources for any of what I’ll be saying here, feel free to send me an ask or a dm. I will not be linking them here because Tumblr hides posts with links from the search.

Let’s start with the obvious fact we’ve known since chapter 1: Overblots happen as a result of overwhelmingly negative emotions and a build-up of magical residue known as blot. They are often rooted in deep childhood trauma and shattering of one’s deeply-rooted beliefs about the world or people around them. Riddle’s trauma itself doesn’t push him to overblot, it’s when he realizes Trey has been lying to him the whole time. Leona doesn’t overblot because his plan to get attention didn’t work but because Lilia openly mocks him for his efforts. Azul’s memories of being bullied don’t cause him to overblot until he believes the twins have abandoned him and won’t help him out anymore. Jamil doesn’t overblot because his plan didn’t work but because he believes his true intentions have been broadcasted to the world and while trying to protect himself, he doomed his family.

Vil doesn’t have this in the typical sense. The people in his surroundings are largely supportive of him, albeit very creepily so in some cases. Through-out the chapter, he even manages to get Epel’s support and the two of them come to see eye to eye in a very lovely set of scenes. All seems to be improving for Vil the further into the chapter we go. So why the sudden overblot? Why didn’t Vil lean on the support that he had and which had been his obvious edge over all the other overblotees? Vil’s world shattered as well, but it wasn’t because of the people around him. What truly shattered was Vil’s belief about himself.

Up until the last minute, even though Vil’s blot is gradually building up, he manages to keep things under the wraps extremely well. He’s calm, metodical, optimistic even. It’s only after the trial runs of their songs that he really starts to doubt himself and his group, and it’s for a good reason. Vil and the NRC group have slaved away at this performance for a fairly long time. They have their own original song written out, they came up with their own choreography, and they tried their very hardest to polish their dancing as much as they could. And it wasn’t enough. After the first trial, Vil saw some success. He was finally coming out on top for the first time in his life – only to have it immediately snatched away. By a nursery rhyme remix no less. And from the comments the other characters gave, that’s not even the worst part. The dwarves couldn’t dance. Instead, they kept bumping into each other on stage and weren’t in sync at all. By all objective means, the performance was largely inferior to that of the NRC group, and yet they easily overtook their standing in the eyes of the public.

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not this that pushed Vil over the egde. What ended up ruining everything wasn’t even the fact that Vil got caught trying to poison Neige – at least not in the way you would expect. Unlike the other overblotees, Vil never, not once, defended his actions. This, in itself, is very unique. It wasn’t Riddle abusing his dorm “for their own good,” or Leona trying to kill and injuring dozens of people because he “deserves to be the best,” or Azul stripping a bunch of people of their talents, abilities, or even selves because he “needed that power more,” or even Jamil hypnotizing Kalim for “the dorm’s good and for freedom.” The moment Vil was stopped from the momentum and realized what he was doing, he owned up to it immediately – and that, ironically, is what doomed him.

For those of you who didn’t read chapter 5 yet or don’t remember the whole backstory anymore, let me walk you through it before I go on. Vil’s father is a famous actor. We know nothing about his mother but given his father would usually take him with to movie sets and all over the world when he traveled, we can assume she was probably not around much. Vil’s father, Eric Venue, was, for all we know, a wonderful dad. He was always supportive of his son and made sure the time spent together was cheerful and happy. It was him who made Vil want to become an actor as well. And Vil started, like many children, with school plays... where he would quickly fall into a routine that would follow him into the professional industry as well.

Vil would always get cast as the villain. Be it the protagonist’s rival or a cruel bully, his characters would always be evil in one way or another, and never get redemption or their own happy ending. Dreary already but once Vil joined the industry, this became so much worse. During a shooting when he was still in elementary school, he overheard two of the movie staff talking about him. They did praise his appearance (and to those who say being called a “beautiful child” is predatory or SA, please shut up) but they immediately followed it up by calling him “too perfect” and stating that he would never play a protagonist because nobody could relate to him. He would never get his happy ending because he was not who the audience wanted to see succeed. And in a way, they were right. Even off-screen, Vil would get bullied for what happened in the movies and tv series he played in, because it was easier for people to believe he was just as much of a scumbag in real life as he was on tv. Vil called this out, clearly showing he had more brains in elementary school than the average Twitter user has in their early 20′s, but that doesn’t mean it never affected him.

In fact, the exact opposite is true. It affected Vil so much that as soon as he had the luxury of choosing his roles, he would vehemently refuse any villainous role he was offered, even when they were extremely lucrative offers. He even went off at his agent when she signed him up for one such role without consulting him first. Vil also changed his last name and while the officially stated reason was so that nobody could account his success to his father, it more than likely was also to put his past behind him. Because he was better than that, because he was not a monster, because he was not a villain.

Except once. During VDC (and I refuse to call it SDC because twst en versions of names are poor at best), Vil did become the villain for a moment. He let his own goals and desperate wishes get the better of him and was ready to seriously harm an innocent person to get his way. And yes, Neige is an innocent party in all of this because although his performance was poor and kind of pathetic when compared to Vil’s, it was not his fault that he was put on a pedestal. And Vil knows that too. So when he was snapped out of the moment and he realized what he was about to do, he crumbled.

Now let’s talk a bit about coping mechanisms and trauma responses. There’s no doubt that Vil is traumatized. Not in the same way as many of the other overblotees, and his trauma manifests differently as well, but overall, Vil didn’t overblot because of the trauma but because of his response to it. Vil lashed out against the trigger of his trauma, and acted in an objectively incorrect way. That isn’t unusual with many trauma victims. More often than not, victims of physical abuse begin to strike back at their abusers, victims of mental abuse have a hightened risk of becoming abusive themselves (not saying all of them do, put the pitchforks away, they just have a hightened risk of it), and so on and so forth. Vil’s response, though inappropriate, is still understandable. His response is human. All the more hurtful it is that he felt as though this response meant he was just as bad as all his evil roles painted him out to be. THAT was the real breaking point of Vil’s overblot. What shattered wasn’t his view of others, it was his view of himself.

Even with his overblot starting to set in, Vil’s first instinct was to plead with the people around to not look at him, to not watch as he becomes something ugly, something he never ever wanted to become. His pleads went ignored, and even purposely disregarded in one case and it only pushed him further in. This is just speculation, but I firmly believe Vil would’ve been able to pull himself together, did his wishes go followed and had people given him the time to calm down. Instead of, you know, going on and on about how what he did was so terrible and how you were there to see it and would purposely look as he turned into that ugly thing he absolutely hated. But that’s going off the topic a bit.

Personally, I have a lot of gripe with how the chapter ended. But it got even worse when chapter 6 tried to address this. At the start of chapter 6, the rest of the NRC group tries to confront Rook about his final vote. And full disclaimer, he is free to vote for whoever he wants, that is not the issue here at all. What IS the issue is Rook defending his vote by saying it was all Vil’s fault for not being beautiful enough, in regards to his overblot. It is Vil’s fault that he lashed out after years of continous trauma, and Rook is actually the good guy here for putting him in his place, never to be seen as a hero, never to be seen as someone deserving of praise, because of one trauma response that was less than desirable. There was no need to say that and yet, he did. Just like on numerous other occasions where he purposely puts Vil down for no reason. But that is material enough for another post like this. The take-away from chapter 5 and the start of chapter 6 somehow stopped being “when you break down, your friends will help you overcome it” but it instead became “if your trauma response is not morally unambigously correct, you do not deserve fair judgment” and that bothers me.

Chapter 6 then proceeds to completely skip any character development Vil went through and instead just hits us with “Yeah he’s fine and made peace with his share now” with no build-up so that’s not even worth talking about. But Vil’s overblot is a total stand-out among all the others and I wish more people actually paid attention to it rather than disregarding it as “first-world problems of a spoiled movie star” when there’s so much more to it than that.

I could go on for a while, talking about how dehumanizing Vil’s experience in the movie industry has been (not the world of child actors irl but just his personal experience) or how the society put Neige on a pedestal because he was born poor and how he’s always had support of his community unlike Vil, but we would be here for far too long if I did. So I leave you with this, I hope you enjoyed the read, and I’ll be back some other time with another long ranty brainrot analysis.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twsten #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #twst vil #twst chapter 5 #the tyrant of beauty #twisted wonderland vil #twst analysis #twisted wondeland analysis #overblot #twst overblot #twisted wonderland overblot #some of the takes i've seen about Vil's ob are so wild #like have y'all read anything from his backstory at all?#i really can't with this fandom sometimes

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jagged1 · 5 months

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Ignorance is Bliss, But Those Rosy Days Are Gone

Fandom: Outlast Rating: Teen Characters: Eddie Gluskin/Waylon Park, Jeremy Blaire/Waylon Park, Rick Trager Summary: In the midst of a relationship that's slowly drifting away from him, Waylon meets a bar performer who understands. Contains: Cheating, lies of omission, mental health problems, murder. Somehow Jeremy and Rick are the (relatively more) sympathetic characters here. There's also a Spotify playlist. Word Count: ~3300 AO3 link

“Breaking news: A deadly stabbing occurred last night. Local businessman, Jeremy Blaire, was found dead after being brutally attacked. Police are investigating both his death and the disappearance of his fiancé, Waylon Park.”

Stepping into the lounge is always a breathtaking experience. Jeremy has been a regular for years and once they went from 'just dating' to a couple, he promptly introduced Waylon to it. The burst of warm air when the doors open, the warm lighting that spills onto the sidewalk, and the low indistinct murmur of overlapping conversation makes for an overwhelmingly inviting welcome whenever they spend a night out there.

They have an unofficial booth, the circular plush seating perfect for intimate conversation or hosting any number of business partners as needed. It also provides them an unobstructed view of the stage and its rotation of performers.

The latest of them is a startlingly large man, compared to the piano he plays. He makes it look like a toy, but his fingers dance across the keys in smooth, beautiful motions. The first time he sang, Waylon was expecting a deep baritone, but was instead surprised by a softer pitch. It hasn't been long, but he's probably his favorite.

Jeremy chuckles at the way Waylon smiles when it's the man's night on stage. He doesn't mind indulging Waylon's whims and it makes it easier for him to slip away from their booth and into Rick's to discuss business. It's been a growing necessity to meet up during their off hours to manage the new direction of the company.

It's on one of these nights that Waylon runs into the performer at the bar. It's hard not to notice a giant of a man wedging his way through the small crowd, before coming to a stop beside him. The bartender is down at the other end and while he would usually never bother someone on their break, the opportunity to compliment the man is too perfect to pass on.

"Excuse me," Waylon says as he lightly taps the man's elbow, "I just wanted to tell you that you play beautifully." The alcohol he's already had makes his smile softer and looser than it normally would be, but it's fitting.

"Thank you. It's always nice to hear that, especially from regulars, such as yourself." The man smiles back, equally gentle and without the veneer of politeness he's learned to recognize from Jeremy's work associates. It makes Waylon smile just a bit wider in contentment.

Suddenly the man blinks and gives a small shake of his head. "Oh dear, where are my manners? My name is Eddie. May I have yours?"

"Waylon."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Waylon."

"You as well, Eddie."

Why’d you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you

Waylon starts to give Eddie a friendly nod and a wave whenever he's playing. If Waylon’s alone, Eddie stops by to check how he's doing when he has a free moment.

Waylon almost wants to ask Jeremy if it's alright he's striking up such a friendship with Eddie, but it seems like something he shouldn't speak of. It's not as if it matters, Jeremy's been sitting with Rick more and more lately. He feels a little lonely, but having Eddie around makes it better.

"So, how did you get into this line of work?" Waylon sips his drink, licking his lips clean of alcohol. "You play wonderfully. I sort of expected you to want to do something…bigger."

Eddie raises his eyebrow, his own glass of water on the table. "Bigger, darling?" He chuckles. "Is our lovely establishment not enough for you?"

Waylon coughs, a light flush on his cheeks. "You know what I mean. Instead of playing a few nights a week at a, truly, beautiful lounge, I sort of expected someone with your skill to be part of, I don't know, a larger band. Maybe an orchestra or headlining a bigger venue." He shrugs. "I don't know much about the music scene, but you're really good." He takes another sip, hiding his embarrassed expression as best he can with Eddie staring holes into his head.

Eddie looks away and hums, absently tracing his finger around the rim of his glass. "Growing up was difficult. My father was very strict and I took after my mother more than he liked. Singing was something we shared and it helped me get through some rough times. It still helps me now. I don't want to turn it into something more, not when I'm doing just fine. Sometimes my lyrics get away from me, but no one pays much attention to the background music.” At that, he curls his lip up in a sarcastic and sly smile.

"Well it's their loss."

Somehow, Eddie's smile grows even more amused.

Let's take a trip down a dark place, baby Look for me now, I'm not that crazy Let's talk about what makes you happy

It's a rare instance when Waylon gets invited over to Rick's table. They usually try to keep their private lives separate from work, but it's been getting harder and harder to spend time together. Maybe Jeremy thought this would be a good compromise, but he just feels awkward and uncomfortable.

Rick is the type of man who just has an inherently underhanded feel to him. He's done nothing to deserve any suspicion or rude behavior, but Waylon can't shake the feeling of being looked at as a commodity and not a person.

He can't wait until dinner is over and he can excuse himself back to his table.

It gets to the point where they might as well not even arrive together with how quickly Jeremy leaves to talk with Rick. He drops Waylon off in the booth, pecks him on the cheek, and rushes off, coat swirling behind him.

Eddie doesn’t ask; he just opens his arms for a hug. He sinks into it gratefully.

Is anyone else feeling lonely? It just can’t be me only Losing our cool so slowly

One night Waylon follows Eddie home after his shift. He lets himself fall into his bed and out of his head, soaking in his attentive care. Eddie's hands burn on his overheated, sweat slicked skin. His lips and tongue map what feel like every inch of him, but the sting of teeth never comes. When he finally pushes into Waylon, he buries his head in Eddie’s neck, eyes shut tight, and holds onto the brightest thing he has in his life right now.

He stays long enough to shower before heading home to a mostly dark apartment. The only light is in Jeremy’s office and Waylon can feel the heavy and expectant air of the silence through the door.

He hesitates for a moment, shifting his weight back and forth before turning towards their room.

They never speak of it.

Jeremy cuts back significantly on the amount of meetings he has. They go out on their first real date in months. Eddie and Waylon are suddenly back to being almost strangers with how closely Jeremy sticks to Waylon. It’s everything he’s wanted for weeks.

(He misses Eddie.)

The ring shines even in the soft lighting of the lounge and Waylon is terribly aware of the weight on his left hand as the phantom smell of roses lingers.

Eddies catches sight of it immediately and his face twists into something unreadable before settling on a smile.

That's what you get for falling again You can never get him out of your head

It's late and they're walking home when a huge shadow peels itself away from the wall of an alleyway. Waylon barely has a moment to be surprised before the glint of metal flashing in the lamplight strikes out, right through Jeremy's throat.

A splash of hot blood flies through the air and hits him directly in the face, causing him to flinch and shut his eyes from the sudden impact. He can hear the thud of Jeremy's body dropping to the ground, the sound of someone hitting- no, stabbing someone (Jeremy). He can't breathe and even with his eyes closed he can feel his vision go fuzzy around the edges and the next thing he knows is nothing at all.

Eddie follows Blaire to the ground, blood roaring in his ears, drowning out any conscious thought. He needs to get rid of this- this disgusting- this worthless man. He doesn't deserve Waylon, Eddie is so much better than him, so much better for him. He just needs a chance to prove it without Waylon feeling caught between them. He knows what they shared was special, he knows Waylon feels it too, they just need to be free.

The softer thump of Waylon falling manages to break through the fog of his rage. He's always acutely aware of him, has been since that first meeting at the bar. He heaves himself off the bloody, shredded corpse and turns to Waylon, out cold against the pavement.

That won't do.

He tucks the knife safely away into his coat, before kneeling to pick Waylon up in the gentlest manner possible. His face is scratched from the gravel, blood slowly welling up on his cheek and lip, mixing with that filth's.

He carefully shifts his hold on him, settling Waylon's head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. It's where he belongs, where Eddie can keep him safe from a cold world, full of cold people.

He melts back into the shadows of the alley, his precious love in his arms and nothing left in their way.

Slowly, Waylon begins to stir. His eyelids feel as if they're stuck together, but for some reason he's hesitant to reach up and rub them. There's something drifting around the edges of his memory he does and doesn't want to know.

He hears the creak of a door opening and closing softly and ignores it. Jeremy has always kept odd hours.

Then something wet touches his face and his desire to remain blissfully unaware vanishes. He flings his arm out, pushing whatever it is away and tears his eyes open, looking around wildly.

It takes a moment to sink in that he recognizes this room, is intimately familiar with it for how little time he's spent here. Eddie stands by the bed, a dark red-brown stained cloth in hand.

Memories rush forward and Waylon gasps, tucking himself into a ball, hands flying up to cover his face. The rough, tacky texture he feels has him jerking them away in horror as he stares. Someone wiped them clean, but there's traces of blood left behind in the grooves of his fingers and his nail folds.

'No…'

"No," he breathes. "No,no, no, no, NO!" Each no grows louder and louder until he screams the last. "That's not- it wasn't- he didn't-" He stops and spins to face Eddie. "How did I get here? Where's Jeremy?" He pleads, gripping the blankets tightly.

Eddie approaches him slowly, as though any sudden movement will set him off. He might not be wrong. Waylon feels like his skin is too tight for him. Whether it's from nerves or the blood, he doesn't know.

"Shh, Waylon, darling, calm down." Eddie extends his arm slowly, hand brushing Waylon's hair out of his face. "You're safe. I brought you here."

He can't help but lean into Eddie’s touch, needing the comfort it brings him. "And Jeremy?"

"Dead."

Waylon's heart stops for a moment, before speeding up and rising into his throat. A creaky "no" escapes from between his lips.

"Yes." It's said so matter-of-factly that he freezes before slumping into himself. Eddie doesn't say anything and lets him absorb it quietly, a comforting presence by his side.

I been living in a bad dream

Waylon takes Eddie’s offer of a change of clothes and the use of his shower, steadfastly ignoring his reflection as he stands under the hottest water he can stand. By the end of it, he's scrubbed himself a tender, raw pink. He still feels the phantom sensation of dried blood stretched tight across his skin, but the water's already begun to run cold and he can hear Eddie pacing just beyond the door.

It's time to face the music.

He gently pushes open the door, both to be polite and not hit Eddie with it and to delay their conversation just a little longer.

It's not nearly enough time.

Eddie is right there, waiting with his arms wide open. Waylon steps easily into his embrace, tucking himself close. He still feels so cold, but Eddie’s warmth helps. It takes long moments before he can bring himself to ask, "What happened?"

Eddie cards his fingers through Waylon's damp hair, idly twisting the ends around his fingers. "You were attacked. By the time I saw you, he was already gone. I could only think about taking you away from it all and bringing you here."

Waylon shudders and clings closer to Eddie. "What about Jeremy? Did you call anyone?"

"It never occurred to me. I just wanted to keep you safe."

"We should tell someone..."

"They'll likely find him soon. Don't think about it, darling."

Waylon jerks his head up in surprise. "Don't think about it? How can I not? My fiancé's dead, because of some- some lunatic! I don't know who they are, what they want, why this happened- I don't know anything!" His knuckles are white with how tightly he's holding onto Eddie’s shirt, eyes wide and voice cracking shrilly in his hysterics.

"Shhh, calm down. You're safe, Waylon. He didn't want to hurt you, otherwise you wouldn't be here with me." Eddie gently rocks them back and forth, petting Waylon gently.

"But why?" Waylon pleads. "Why did this happen?"

"Why does anyone do anything?"

He has nothing to say to that.

Morning comes and Waylon dreads what the news could be saying. He wants to pretend it's not real, that this is a weird dream he conjured up as a "what if he picked Eddie" scenario, but even with their issues, he's not cruel enough to wish death on Jeremy.

Ignoring it won't help though, so he reluctantly asks Eddie to turn it on.

Waylon goes limp in surprise, body slumping to the ground even as his heart jackrabbits in his chest. "Oh my god, I have to call them, I have to tell them-"

Eddie cuts him off, even as he kneels down to rest a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Tell them what? You didn't see anything."

"But they're looking for me when they need to be looking for whoever ki-" The word sticks in his throat and Waylon tries again. "Whoever attacked us." His voice is a weak, watery little thing, but he pushes on. "And I can't keep hiding here forever, Eddie."

"But I need you, too."

Waylon reaches up to hold onto Eddie’s wrist. "Eddie…" He gently rubs his thumb across the delicate skin there. "I'll come back, I promise."

"You can't promise me that. You didn't before and I need you, Waylon. I can't let you go, not again." His grip flexes on Waylon's shoulder and he's struck by how strong Eddie is.

"Eddie-"

He continues right over him, speech faster and more manic than he's ever heard before. "I love you. I love you so much and I'll do anything for you. I'll be so good to you, so please. Please don't go." His pale eyes are fever bright with unexpected desperation and Waylon has a terrible feeling.

"Eddie," he chokes, "what did you do?"

"What I needed to; he was keeping you away from me, I had to."

Waylon jerks away from his touch, the full body flinch knocking him off his knees and onto his ass. "Nonono, I didn't hear that, no, you're- you're lying, you have to be!"

Eddie surges forward, hands clamping tightly onto Waylon's upper arms, grip tight enough to bruise if he wished. "Why aren't you listening? I said I did it for you, and I meant it! Why don't you understand?!" He searches Waylon's gaze for something, desperate in his frenzy. Whatever he's looking for, he doesn't find it and that wild look in his eyes fades and morphs into something cold and furious. He loosens his grip, dropping one arm entirely, only to raise his open palm up and slap Waylon hard across the face.

He staggers from the force, slumping awkwardly into Eddie's grasp. The crack of skin on skin echoes in the deathly quiet and neither man moves, scarcely evens breathes for one. Two. Three.

The tension in the air suddenly snaps, a horrified gasp breaking the standstill. "Waylon." Eddie's voice is strained and his hand spasms once before letting go completely. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I- I didn't- I- it wasn't-," he stutters.

Waylon can only lie there in shock and pain, struggling to understand.

Eddie holds his head, one hand running through his hair repeatedly in an anxious gesture. The normally neat strands are a mess and Waylon can't stop staring at them, fixated on this truly insignificant detail.

Finally, Eddie manages to speak, his eyes wide and darting constantly between Waylon and the floor. "I never meant to hurt you." He chokes a humorless laugh at Waylon's uncomprehending silence. "I won't blame you for not believing me. I… I thought I was better, but, evidently, I've been fooling myself."

The frenetic energy that's been building up in him suddenly disappears and Eddie looks so defeated that Waylon jerks in surprise.

Eddie misunderstands and hisses in pain. "I know it won't ever be enough, but I'm sorry, Waylon. I'll let you go, I'll tell the police everything, I'll go away and never see you again. I'll do whatever it is you want of me."

That is what causes Waylon to finally catch up, shaking himself awake from his stupor, scrambling to sit upright and grab onto Eddie’s sleeve. "No! You can't!"

"Why not?"

Maybe Waylon should be ashamed, but all he can think is 'I can't be alone.' What he says is "I can't lose you too."

Eddie shudders, body going limp and reaching out gently for his hand.

There's a moment where Waylon struggles. He killed Jeremy. He killed Jeremy. But he also was there for him when Jeremy wasn't and the ache in his chest from losing one, then the other throbs. He doesn't think he can handle losing both at once. He knows he can't.

He slips his hand into Eddie’s and never looks back.

I wanna live better days Never look back and say It could have been me

A dreamy lounge with a rotating cast of performers continues on. Two near permanently reserved tables become open seating. One pianist resolutely avoids looking at one in particular.

Rick screams obscenities down the hall, slamming his fists against the door. "It was a setup, you witless imbeciles!" His hands are beaten bloody, streaks running down his forearms and smeared into his hair where he's shoved it out of his face. "I didn't kill Jeremy Blaire and I didn't kidnap Waylon Park!"

The guard rolls his eyes. "Tell it to the judge. Oh wait, you already did. Didn't work out so well for you, did it, buddy?"

The strangled noise he makes startles a bellowing laugh from the guard.

Just once, months after it all ends, he thinks about what could have been. It's a fleeting thought, fluttering at the edges of his mind before disappearing like smoke.

It doesn't matter. He has Eddie and they've pulled off the greatest performance of their lives. He's had enough fantasies to last a lifetime. He settles deeper into his corner of the couch, waiting for Eddie to come home.

That's all he needs.

#outlast #outlast whistleblower #waylon park #eddie gluskin #jeremy blaire #richard trager #weddie #jerway #my writing #my fic

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tanadrin · 1 year

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I read your post about like reactionary politics and while I think I agree with you mostly I think it’s a bit of a stretch to equate “antis” to the current surge of anti transphobic rhetoric, esp when that term is so nebulous. Like are we talking about people being weird about kink at pride shit, or people being upset about the production of fictional csem? I think that while def the first person has an internalized reactionary view of sexuality, I don’t see how the second person does beyond like a generalized fear of child exploitation. There’s def like a middle ground between those two positions but I feel like this is not a great example compared to the very cut and dry “trans people are child abusers”

Well, part of the thesis I'm trying to stake out (more or less successfully, depending on how well I did it and whether or not you agree with me) is that there may be differences of degree but similarities in kind between mildly and more severely reactionary/censorious forms of affect-driven fear-based politics, and even socially acceptable forms (like true crime fandom) will tend to correlate with surprisingly vicious reactionary strains in people's otherwise progressive politics, if not even encourage the intensification of these strains over time.

I think it's risky to speak in straightforwardly causal terms, which is what the "pipeline" imagery does: if you hold views X and engage with other people with similar views, over time you will (or are overwhelmingly likely) to progress to certain other views. The Hertzsprung-Russel diagram from astronomy really is a useful metaphor here, I think. If you don't know, if you take all the stars in the sky we know about, and you plot them on a graph where one axis is their luminosity and the other axis is their color, you get an image that looks something like this:

It's hard to observe stellar evolution because it's rarely noticeable on human timescales (outside of the odd supernova), but you can notice patterns in the graph itself. Some of these, like the asymptotic giant branch or the Hayashi track, are reflective of diachronic relationships: how stars evolve over time. Others, like the main sequence, represent a synchronic relationship: stars at the opposite ends of the main sequence don't evolve to the other over the course of their lifetime (a large, bright O star at the top left of the main sequence will never become a red dwarf at the bottom right), but there is a real physical relationship here, about the relationship between mass, luminosity, and color of a star.

I think (to make the metaphor explicit) if you could chart people's tendency to indulge or even cultivate certain kinds of fear-driven ways of thinking, ones which are prone to dehumanizing the other, tickling our collective purity taboo, and exaggerating the threat to oneself and one's ingroup, against their political beliefs, a distinctive track or sequence would emerge: one not necessarily representing a full-blown evolutionary path all people with such tendencies are on, but nonetheless showing a useful relationship between the underlying thought process and the expressed opinions. I think this correlation is especially fertile in some quarters of American politics where it's often heightened by a racial dimension--witness what happens when you try to integrate school districts full of otherwise progressive, white, middle-class parents--but it's by no means solely an American phenomenon. British TERFs and the German anti-nuclear movement are both relevant here.

Now, to be clear, this is just a metaphor. I'm not sure you can give people's political beliefs an easily-agreed-upon Reactionariness Rating (though various dubious experiments in psychometry have tried) or Panickiness Rating. And similar instrumental beliefs can emerge from distinct frameworks about the world: to run with the trans example, person A has fearful and disgust-based responses to trans people bc they have their own hangups around gender and have cultivated an attitude of threat and disgust toward the outgroup; person B just has a cognitive tendency to sort the world into immutable categories, applies this to people also, and so has decided a priori trans people must be wrong about their self-reported experiences, and hasn't given it much thought since then. Both views are bad; but it requires something like the former to turn into Graham Linehan, a real obsessive asshole on a single issue, whereas the latter seems like the default starting position of most cis people before their beliefs are challenged in any way.

So I'm not positing the origin of all reactionary political beliefs here. Just one (I would argue) interesting trend. That said, yeah, I do think a lot of people's objection to (for example) the more fucked-up parts of AO3's archive stems from this impulse. It's hard, when society is increasingly converging on a roughly-though-not-entirely consequentialist understanding of the law and social mores, to make a purely deontological argument against the existence of pure fiction; thus, a lot of censorship regimes, or proponents of those regimes, work really hard to invent consequentialist reasons to support their censorship policies, and one of the only way I've seen these lines of argument really gain traction is by relying on our old friend, this kind of affective fear-driven reactionary politics I do not have a good concise name for. The relative popularity and perceived social acceptability of a particular flavor of affective fear-driven reactionary politics doesn't make it not an example of affective fear-driven reactionary politics.

I think you betray your own biases by your use of terminology: it seems to me that definitionally nothing that is fictional is CSEM. CSEM is used as a term for a very specific reason, because the common parlance, "child pornography," seems grossly inappopriate to, you know. Evidence of an actual crime, whose most central examples (i.e., not teens texting each other pictures of their butts) are records of acts of brutal violence. If I take to twitter and threaten the life of President Jack Ryan, it would be weird to classify those threats as an act of political terrorism, because Jack Ryan is a Tom Clancy character I just picked off a list of fictional U.S. presidents. And depictions of acts of political terrorism in the novels of Tom Clancy are not, themselves, political terrorism, just more schlocky political thriller that makes for decent beach reading. So "fictional CSEM" seems a contradiction in terms, at least in the sense that drives the reason for using the term in the first place.

Trying to censor things which only incidentally resemble other things because of that resemblance is usually bad, IMO! And some people seem to think that recognizing that something can be repellent and offensive to you while not meeting any reasonable criterion for censorship is the same as endorsing it--or, to be more accurate, they pretend to think that, hoping you will forget there are positions besides "think a thing is wholesome and good" and "think a thing should be made illegal."

More importantly, there is a more hard-nosed reason for us to go full "censorship is bad, eat my entire ass" in response to this kind of attitude, which is that censors lie about what they want to censor. "I only want to ban things we all can objectively agree are gross as hell" is a pretty popular position, historically. But then the Parents' Fanfiction Council or whatever gets involved, people try to shift the Overton window on what counts as gross as hell, and--as happened with Hollywood under the Hayes code--the space of acceptable expression contracts until the most vocally censorious are satisfied. The result is that eventually any kind of non-normative self-expression is considered objectionable (because someone somewhere can hammer out a Jesuitical logic whereby a theoretical innocent may come to harm)--and you're not going to protest that, are you? Because surely no decent person would want to read that disgusting filth, right? And you're a decent person.

#this is a way too long response #sorry #the short version is that antis and terfs is the same #and despite not being very personally invested in fanfiction #pearl-clutchers generally really get on my nerves

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