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teddybeartoji · 2 months

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it's not often you get to see a sleepy suguru.

it's not like he's not tired – he's fucking exhausted; the dreams just don't seem to like him all that much. but he's usually toughing it out, trying to seem as composed and put-together as possible. the dark skin underneath his eyes betray him, though.

so you don't really know why today is different. is he just more tired? have all of the sleepless hours caught up with him? or is it just you; could it be that your body is the most comfortable place to rest his heavy head? or is it your perfume that's soothing him to sleep?

or is it the fingers in his hair?

he doesn't really let others play with his hair too ofter either. satoru and shoko had been the only exceptions but that was before you came along. satoru uses his hair as a stim, something to play with when he's bored. suguru has taught him manners though – a few slaps against satoru's fingers and chest to remind him to be more careful. and shoko is just more likely to brush a strand from his eyes or help him tie them up in a half-assed bun whenever his own hands are full with whatever.

you like playing with hair, always have and always will. it's relaxing and it's fun and it's calming and you love it. when you first met suguru, his hair was the second thing you noticed about him (his keen purple eyes being the first). an irresistible itch burned in your fingertips everytime you saw him, everytime he wore his hair down. it just looked so pretty and soft.

he takes very good care of his hair, you know that much. specific shampoos and conditioners, masks and all – he's all in. and nobody bats an eye. not that they should but satoru definitely gets made fun of because of his stupidly expensive collection of figurines and shoko gets teased for her silly mug shelf – and yet, neither of them ever comment on the bottles and tubs of fancy products that lay on his bathroom counter.

his hair also smells good. the compliment always hangs on the tip of your tongue but stays hidden in fear of coming off too weird. too creepy. but he doesn smell good. even with closed eyes and ears and you'd find him in a crowd. you wonder whether he knows that.

as you grew closer and closer, the now scorching itch only doubled in need. you never did gather the strenght to outwardly ask him – if you could play with his hair? if you could caress it? comb through it? it was an accident.

a simple gloomy friday afternoon: you're both lazing on your couch, staring at the screen. it's funny – you find yourself muffling your already quiet bursts of laughter, suguru alongside you. he's sitting close by, closer than usual. you don't ask him about it.

he asked to come over; something-something about being sick of his own apartment. you understand that, so you tell him that your home is his home (you'd tell him that even if you didn't understand). you hear the faint smile when he thanks you over the phone.

even when he looks like he hasn't slept in months – he looks good. you can tell he's overexaggerating his smile a bit but don't say anything about it, rewarding him with a grin of your own. his eyes flick to your lips and how they curve and he thinks about how warm it feels to look at you. maybe he's not exaggerating anymore.

your arms open wide, inviting him into you and he obliges, as always. he smells good. as always.

his hands lock behind your back and your behind his neck. your hearts meet and they greet each other with a fastened beat, eager to be in sync – to feel each other again.

he pulls back and the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. he's not doing it anymore and you're happy to relieve him even if it's for mere moments.

he's wearing a sweather and his hair is down. he has lip gloss on; you try to think whether he's more of a mint guy or more of a shea guy. it remains a mystery.

and now you're on the couch with two cups of warm tea waiting for you on the small table. he smells good. he's so close. he snickers at the screen and you can't take your eyes off of him. it's the same small crinkle of the eyes and the faintest pink tint on his cheeks.

you know he knows that you're looking at him. you've been told to have a staring problem and he's just an observant guy. it's a terrible match. or a perfect one.

he doesn't say anything though; instead he leans his head back and little to the side against the headrest (he's even closer now) and you find yourself shifting an inch aswell. perhaps magnets are involved? the iron in your blood pulling you together?

no, that can't be. you'd have to be polar opposites for that to work. warm-blooded and cold-blooded? would that work? you're getting too poetic and he's looking at you now.

it's an accident. it slips out on its own. you smell good. caught off guard by your own comment, you're about to apologize when a hand on your thigh almost makes you suffocate on the words stuck in your throat.

he laughs and it feels so good. he thanks you. he means it, you see it in his tired eyes. he likes the way you blush.

turning his focus back to the tv, you try to collect yourself. a deep breath in and a deep one out and a deep one in and a de—

a weight on your shoulder. he smells so good. he's so close. you peek down, curious as to whether this is a dream or not. but suguru's head is in fact laid on your body, sinking a bit more into you by the second. a deep breath in and a deep one out.

seeking for a more comfortable position, you snuggle closer to him. it's hard to focus but you're making it your sole mission to make him feel safe. your arm curls around his body, his shoulder, and rests right by a flock of his hair.

his cheek is now smushed against the top of your chest and the weight of love doesn't seem as bad as everyone keeps telling you. his hand finds a place around your waist; loosely – as if he's the one who's afraid to scare you off. silly.

his breath against you feels right and the butterflies in your stomach refuse to calm down. so you do what you always do when you get nervous – completely on their own, your fingers caress his hair. just smoothing over it at first but before you know it, they're combing through a strand and twirling the ends between themselves.

you wanna apologize, again, but the soft little grunt that emits from the man keeps you from doing so.

don't stop.

+ this is for @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat just bc it feels right

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yoursweetdenial · 3 years

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I'm fine.

Description: Imagine that Karl Heisenberg invited you to his house to have a drink and have a good time together. You could not refuse him, because he does not seem to you such a bad person, as Lady Dimitrescu says about him. And now you are reaping the fruits of your indiscretion because you are so drunk you can barely stand, and you will have to somehow get back to the castle of your beautiful vampire lady.

Pairing: Lady Dimitrescu x reader

Word count: :)

You entered the Dimitrescu Castle, slowly closing the massive oak door behind you. You did not even know how you managed to do it, because you could barely stand.

"The last shot of tequila was obviously unnecessary."

You chuckled, struggling to climb the stairs to get to the main hall, and from there to walk to your and Alcina's shared chambers, but your legs did not obey you at all. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts to climb at least one-third of the stairs, you sat down right on the steps and stretched your legs out, leaning your head against the railing. The coolness of the marble was somewhat refreshing, but it was impossible to banish the alcoholic haze. You were so drunk you couldn't even walk. There was no question of a coherent expression of thoughts. You prayed to all the gods that they would keep you from meeting Alcina at this moment. Lady Dimitrescu would not be pleased to see her lover in such a state. You were completely drunk. You felt really bad besides. And not only because you were ashamed and embarrassed about your condition, but also because you still thought it was kinda funny.

"God dammit Heisenberg! How could I ever accept his invitation?!" you asked yourself, still in the clouds, as a very silly smile bloomed on your face. "Oh I know... Sometimes he can be really... Ugh... Convincing."

Suddenly, you heard a noise that usually would make you truly happy, but not in this case. They were her heels, the sound of which seemed to resound throughout the castle. You shuddered. You tried to get up, but couldn't make a move. Then you tried to crawl away, so as not to be seen by the mistress of the castle, but your legs would not obey you. With a howl of frustration, you slumped against the stair railing, as if that would make you invisible to anyone else. Of course, it didn't work. When the sound of Alcina's heels was very close, you squeezed your eyes shut with all your might. However, the moment the footsteps in your direction stopped, you dared to open one eye and immediately gave a startled cry, instantly covering your mouth with your left hand. Lady Dimitrescu was standing right over you, looking far from happy.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" the tall vampire lady said, looking at you excitedly. "Ah, my little dove, what happened to you?"

"Nothing... Ugh... Really... I'm fine..."

It was difficult for you to express your thoughts coherently. The words were confused in your head. Your mind was filled with recently drunk alcohol.

"May I ask, draga mea, are you drunk?" it wasn't a question, but rather a statement. The lady pursed her lips in displeasure, and although her eyes were filled with visible disappointment, they also expressed extreme concern for your condition.

"No, I'm not!" you started to protest. "I would never go outside the castle and drink tequila with Heisenberg without your permission!"

"What?! Tequila?!! HEISENBERG?!!!" Alcina frowned, clenching her fists and showing her teeth. "Well, now I see..."

"No no no!" you tried to calm Alcina down. "I'm completely fine! Really. You don't have to worry, my love!"

Somehow, you managed to get up a little and grab the vampire's arm, drawing her attention to you.

"Please, Alci... Heisenberg's done nothing wrong."

"I'll decide for myself what he has done wrong or good," Alcina looked at you sternly, but without the previous irritation. You looked at her with the most innocent and pure eyes you could muster. After a few moments, the vampire's face relaxed a little. She even managed a small smile.

"This Alcina I like more than the one who was going to tear poor Heisenberg to pieces." you nervously chuckled, gently stroking the tall lady's hand.

"Don't be ridiculous, my little flower, Karl isn't a good man at all," with her free hand, Alcina ran her fingers through your hair.

"But he doesn't deserve to be slammed into a wall only because of his will to be friends with me," you replied as seriously as you could in such a drunken state of yours.

"He's the last person you should be friends with," Lady Dimitrescu frowned slightly, but quickly regained her calm and relaxed expression. "Either way, this conversation can wait until tomorrow. We'll go to bed now."

And without further ado, she took you in her arms, despite your feeble protests, and carried you up the stairs, straight through the main hall to your shared chambers.

"Why are you so worried about me? I'm just an ordinary person. And completely unremarkable. And you are a gorgeous, beautiful woman with incredible curves..." you said it, obviously without fully realizing what you were saying. Now Alcina will have another reason to tease you later, but that's not so important right now.

"I thought it was obvious. Well, I've grown fond of you, my little one." Lady Dimitrescu put you on the bed and sat down next to you. You rested your head on her thigh, looking into the tall lady's golden eyes, in which you saw nothing but boundless tenderness and warmth.

"I love you, Alcina," you told her, slurring your words and smiling stupidly, and received an equally sincere smile in return.

Lady Dimitrescu responded by gently running her hand over your cheek, then leaning down slightly and kissing your forehead.

"I love you too, Y/N."

#resident evil village #re8 village #lady dimitrescu #tall vampire lady #alcina dimitrescu x reader #fanfic

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phoebe-lou · 4 years

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A Forgotten Birthday

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Pairing: Number Five x reader

Summary: After saving the world from the apocalypse, Five struggles with living a simple life causing a strain on his relationship.

Word Count: 2009

__________________________________

5...4...3...2..1! Happy Birthday to me.

Sunlight shone throughout my room, and a gentle breeze drifted through the open windows. Looking over at the clock which now read 6.00am, I allowed a smile to grace over my lips. I had been restless all night and had been sat up worrying about Five like usual. I hoped today would be different, giving both of us one day to take a break from his obsessive apocalyptic nature.

Rolling over on my side, I was shocked to find the other side of the bed empty and Five's early morning 'signature' coffee missing. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I peeled back the duvet and groggily trudged over to the bathroom. After gently splashing some cold water over my face and brushing my teeth, I tossed my crazy-ass hair into a messy bun like a boss, and began the trek to the kitchen.

Expecting to be greeted with breakfast and a fresh cup of coffee, I found non other than a half-naked Klaus passed out on the table, and Five no where in sight. For fucks sake. I rolled my eyes and began making Klaus some breakfast as he'll need some hangover food to soak up all the alcohol. I decided to just throw in some toast and pour a glass of orange juice, as Klaus began waking up and mumbling something about his ass and chocolate pudding?

"Morning sunshine." I said with an amused smile on my face, whilst Klaus began to groan and pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"What rude bitch opened the blinds this morning?" He said after accepting a glass of orange juice I handed him.

"That would have been you, and your amazing Picasso skills last night I'm guessing."

Klaus looked up at the blinds to see that someone had cut them up to make some clothes, since there was underwear shaped holes missing.

"I was wondering what I was wearing, it's definitely not yours or Allison's."

"I think the yellow 'blind' underwear, really complements your eyes." I laughed winking at him, as I took the toast out and began buttering it.

"Danke."

"So what year is it again?" Klaus mumbled as he began munching on the toast I put in front of him.

"You mean the date Klaus?."

"Yeah that."

"It's __________ (insert birthday🥳)."

"Holy shit!" Klaus shot up, knocking his chair over and throwing the toast to the ground. Then sassily marched over to me, where he pulled me into a giant bone crushing hug. Jesus how does he wake up so fast?

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SEXY MIDGET."

"I'M ONLY 4"10, FIGHT ME BITCH."

"ALSO BEN SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

"TELL HIM I LOVE HIM."

*Meanwhile Ben just rolls his eyes*

"There is way too much Klaus and Y/N in here, this early in the morning." Diego huffed as he began filling up the kettle, not even bothering to comment on Klaus's attire.

"Good morning to you too Antonio Banderas." Klaus laughed and high-fived me.

"Besides it's only 7.00am." I smiled.

"Whatever."

"Oooo whose got your panties in a twist?."

"Anyway, Happy Birthday Y/N." Diego huffed.

"Awww you remembered, I knew you loved me really." I said forcing Diego into a hug which he eventually gave into. Suddenly another pair of arms wrapped around us. Diego became alarmed and shouted "What is wrong with you?!"

Klaus innocently smiled "I just wanted to be part of the moment."

"What's wrong with who?" Trust monkey boy to enter at this moment.

"I'll take this as my leave." Diego shrugged Klaus's arms off him, then subtly tilted his head at me, towards a card he placed by the microwave. Before marching off, after I gave him a beaming smile and a wave.

"Happy Birthday kid."

"Thanks Luther but you know I'm 28 years older than you."

"And your even more immature than Klaus, and trust me that's saying something."

"Rude. Hey don't agree with him Ben, you're supposed to be on my side." Klaus began to have a one-sided argument with 'Ben.' While I took this as a chance to slip out the kitchen and get ready.

*2 hours later*

Yes I'm high maintenance, and looking this gorgeous takes a while.

I finally finished my outfit my adding my new moon necklace, which was a birthday present from Luther (that was probably picked by Allison).

I sprayed some perfume and let my h/c hair fall down. Mission was ago. Find Five. Get drunk. Party. Have an awesome birthday. Go back a few steps and whoop Five's ass for no breakfast in bed. Perfect.

I looked through the entire house, where there was no trace of him so decided to head over to Griddy's Doughnuts. As I opened the front door, I walked into Allison and Vanya who immediately wished me a Happy Birthday and began planning a girls night out. Just what I need after putting up with all this shit, Five keeps throwing at me.

*Flashback* - Warning Mild Smut ⚠️

I was lounging across Five's bed pretending to read this boring romance novel, whilst Five was consistently writing long, complicated equations all over his wall. I wasn't expecting this is what he meant when he invited me over to spend sometime together. My patience was wearing thin, as I tried to tell myself that he was just not used to having a life outside of the apocalypse. But I went through it with him, so if I can learn to adapt, he should to.

Sneakily looking over at him, I came up with a plan to draw his attention away. Gently placing the book on the bed, I slowly walked towards him and placed my arms around his neck. It was no shocker that he immediately tensed up and his brows began to frown deeper.

"What do you want Y/N?"

"Not much." I whispered in his ear, as I ghosted my lips over his neck. "Just a little bit of attention."

Five sighed and tried to focus on the equation he was working on, which had now proven difficult as I began to pepper kisses along his jaw.

"Come on, enough."

I ignored him and began to drag my soft kisses down his neck, sucking a little harder until I found his sweet spot. Got you.

"Y/N...." He drifted off, as the pen dropped from his hands.

"Hmm?" I smirked and began grasping at his dark hair.

He finally turned around and smashed our lips together sloppily, as our tongues began fighting for dominance. He obviously won. His hands began to gently slide up the bottom of my top, just resting above my hips as he began to draw circles on my skin. Suddenly blue sparks surrounded us as I found ourselves teleported onto his desk.

He shoved all of his work out the way and began making out with me again. I gradually lifted my arms up, as he began to pull my top off...

"Y/N?"

"Y/N?!!"

My eyes fluttered dreamily as I looked over at Five who was frowning at me.

"For gods sake, did you fall asleep?! I wanted some help with these equations as you're the only non-idiotic person I know. Ugh forget it, of course it doesn't matter if there's another apocalypse." He whined sarcastically, and turned back around, continuing his work.

Five's writing came to a stop and as I launched my book at the walk near his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted, finally exploding with frustration.

"You're an ass." I mumbled. He rolled his eyes and teleported away, probably before he did or said something he'd regret.

I preferred dream Five.

*Flashback over*

Arriving at Griddy's, I locked the car and walked over to the entrance and went inside. Surprise, surprise my 'affectionate' boyfriend was sat with a mug of coffee writing equations on napkins.

"Well, well, well good afternoon handsome." Five looked up irritated and forced a smile.

"What is it?" Was he joking?

"I thought we were going to spend the day together, you said you had something planned last week."

"We'll have to reschedule or something."

"Hahaha very funny grumpy-ass." He didn't look very amused, as he sighed and took a long sip of coffee.

"Can we talk later, I'm kind of in the middle of something?"

Alarms were going off. He had forgotten. Maybe he needed a little more convincing and a few hints.

"Well today is kind of a special day." He looked blankly at me before he gave me a genuine smile.

"Is it national coffee day? Thanks for reminding me gorgeous." He smirked and winked. Was he for fucking real?

"Maybe you should get some cake with that coffee."

"The sweetness ruins the bitter taste I like." You bitter old bugger.

"Isn't there something you're forgetting Five? Some sort of special day, for a special girl."

"Shit. You're right. Meet me at the house in 20 mins." With that he teleported away. Well my work here is done. I'm expecting a decent last minute party though.

After wasting 30 mins shopping, I decided to head back and see what Five had done. As I entered the house it was really quiet, until I reached the living room....

Where Five sat lounging on a sofa drinking margaritas with Dolores.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!"

"Well when you say about a special day for a special lady, I remembered-d that it's been some years years since we found the lovely-y Dolores." He smirked cheekily at me and offered me a glass.

"Are you drunk?"

"No...."

"......."

"Maybe..."

"......"

"Yes..."

Just at the wrong time everyone came rushing in with party poppers, and balloons shouting 'SURPRISE.' I looked down to the floor with angry tears burning down my cheeks, I couldn't believe him. Everyone could sense the tension in the room, except for Five who still looked completely clueless.

"What's goin-n on? He slurred.

"Check the calendar..." I whispered.

I couldn't stand everyone looking at me with such pity so I went straight to our room, crying myself to sleep early.

*A few hours later*

I woke up to knocking at the door.

"Go away."

Hearing the familiar sound of Five's special jump I buried my face into my pillow.

"Can we talk...?"

"...."

"Please... Y/N."

"...."

"Can we just..."

"WHAT?!" I hissed, ripping the duvet off me to glare at him.

He straight away noticed my red, blotchy face, and long tear lines causing my mascara to run down my face.

"I'm sorry..." With that Five burst into tears. I'd only ever seem him cry twice so I wasn't sure what to do.

"I'm sorry-y... I've j-just been trying-g to be ready f-for something bad to happen-n again, as I know the c-commission wants order-r. We've both been-n to hell and b-back, and I can't imagine-e loosing you. I j-just wanted to keep-p you safe, but I've b-been so wrapped up in d-doing all these possible equations-s, that I've p-pushed you away.... Then I've been-n so preoccupied that I forgot-t your b-birthday..."

"Oh Five." I wrapped my arms around him as he began to sob into my chest. I whispered soothing words as I gently rubbed his back.

"You'll never loose me, and I'm not upset about my birthday that much. I honestly just miss spending time with you, and can't believe you prioritised coffee and a manikin over me you ass!" At this Five chuckled and began to calm down.

"You know I don't say it enough... but I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Five."

"Did you want to have that amazing party you've been telling me about?"

"Actually can we just spend the rest of today cuddling and watch a move?"

"Anything you want love."

"You were totally jealous of Dolores."

"Shut up Five."

_________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think 💖☂️

#number five #tua #writers on tumblr #the umbrella academy #netflix series #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five x reader #number five x you #number five x reader

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Five

Table of Content or Part Forty-Four

Read HERE on Wattpad

Words: 3.1K

Warning(s): Explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

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Five days detoxing at Doc's house+rehab+therapy=road to recovery=out of the woods. It's the magical equation I swore up and down wouldn't end in "Error."

The few dishes on the counter shatter into the floor once Nikki roughly sits me on it, his fingers digging into my thighs that wrap securely around him, our tongues twisting as we tug and pull at each other's clothes.

I get his pants undone as he pulls the towel from around my body, taking a handful of my soaking wet hair in his hand and tugging my head back to leave bites and bruises up and down my neck, causing me to hum in pleasure while my core pulses with anticipation to be filled by him.

Moving myself to the edge of the counter, spreading my legs as he runs his fist up and down his length a few times, I take heavy breaths, a wash of shame coming over me for a moment because this is the complete opposite of what we were instructed to do.

But fuck the "no contact" rule.

I've barely had any contact with him the past few months because he's been stoned or drunk. Telling me to practically ignore and avoid him for 30 days straight is like waving a loaded syringe in an addict's face before sitting it down in front of them and leaving them alone after telling them "okay I know it's right there and it's the one thing you struggle most to control yourself around, but don't even look at it."

Fuck that, and Nikki. And I refuse to walk around my own house anymore and not do the latter of those two.

The indescribable feeling of him pushing into me has my head tipping back , and my eyes closing as the both of us let out content sighs.

I put my weight on one of my hands that rests on the counter beside me, the other hand wrapped around the back of Nikki's neck, as he moves in and out of me ferociously and I meet him thrust for thrust.

Let's take a step back and catch up on how he and I had gotten to that point.

Eight Days Earlier

"You two can detox at my place, check into rehab, come out when you're better and we'll go from there." Doc explains to Nikki and Tansy as they both sit on our couch.

"W-What about the press? Or my mom?" Tansy asks him nervously, fumbling with the tag on the throw blanket she's enveloped in.

"You let me deal with your mom and the media, alright?" Doc assures her.

"Surely your mom won't be pissed at you for getting help, Tans." I try to tell her and she rubs her lips together.

"People will know I have a problem if I got to rehab." She points out. "It'll make me look bad."

"Having to cover your entire body with makeup to hide the discoloration of your skin and the track marks, looks bad, Tansy. Screw what people think. At least you're admitting you need help." I say and she doesn't reply, just looking at Nikki to gauge his reaction to all of this.

He looks pissed, but too tired and defeated to give a shit enough to argue with me anymore about it.

"What's the point of rehab if I'm just gonna end up kicking it at Doc's place?" Nikki asks me and I let out a breath.

"Because rehab will teach you coping mechanisms that Doc can't, Nikki. It won't take that long for you to get out if you just try your best at it." I reply and he scoffs.

"So, what, you're babysitting me at Doc's until I'm done throwing up, shitting myself, and having hot and cold flashes and then shipping me off for a few weeks?" He cuts his dead eyes at me and Doc and I exchange looks.

"Well, it depends on how quickly you adjust to rehab and make a turn around, as to how soon you can get out...so it might be more than a few weeks." Doc informs him. "And Bob has already scheduled you and Viv an appointment with a marriage therapist."

"Well if I'm spending more than three weeks in rehab there's no point in working on our marriage."

"The program you'll be in includes this particular therapist who's currently working on creating a schedule for Vivian to come visit you often and you two have your sessions bi-weekly." Doc states and Nikki rolls his jaw, looking at me.

"Is this what you really want? Your husband gone for weeks on end until some quack gives me a certificate and a gold star because I went 'X' amount of time without shooting up?" He harshly questions me and I rub my lips together.

I think of the reasons Nikki didn't spend more than three days in rehab the first time he went, was because A.) He refused to believe in a higher power, and B.) He didn't go to rehab because he knew he had a problem and wanted to get better, he went to rehab to appease the people around him because he felt we were twisting his arm until he gave up and cried "mercy" a.k.a "fine I'll go, just as long as you shut the fuck up and get off my back about it."

I look at him for a moment, studying his knotted hair, his yellow skin, his shot eyes, his weak appearance, before saying:

"I'd rather you hate me for a little while for getting you help, instead of waking up and trying to convince myself to continue to live in a world with no Nikki Sixx in it."

"We're not indestructible, Nikki." Tansy adds softly, knowing very well she and he both need help.

He doesn't say anything else.

She had Doc and I convinced she wanted help...but truth be told Nikki actually went to rehab while Tansy had Duff come get her from Doc's house.

She knew she had a severe problem, but the only time Tansy would "clean up" was when she gave her veins a break, out of fear of completely losing them, and was muscling smack. She would fall back on pills and lots of booze, then when some of her veins would start reviving themselves back from their smaller size, she would start up again.

I can't even say how much money she and her mother were paying people to keep quiet to the media.

Nobody could know perfect Tansy Lyn, Playboy's Barbie Doll, was so broken inside that she repeatedly destroyed her body, let it rebuild, and wrecked it again.

It must have been a punch in the face to her mom when Tansy came clean in '88 and admitted she had struggled with addiction and was going into rehab...and an even harder punch in the face when she came back in into the spotlight in 1989, dropping her stage name "Tansy Lyn" and dawning "Tansalyn Rose" after marrying Axl, and practically confessed every grimy detail of her obsession with hard drugs and alcohol since 1981, and why she started them to cope with what was happening behind the scenes of the brutal modeling industry.

In 1990, her vision-come-to-life, "I Won't Just Smile", was born. It started as a campaign to raise awareness against sexual abuse, exploitation, and coercion in all corners of the modelling industry, then stemmed into an organization that offered free services to victims of addiction and abuse, from rehab to post-assault counseling and everything in between.

Years of Diane's hard work to create her daughter's untouchable persona, completely shattered.

I was just thrilled Tansy had turned her struggles around and used them to help others, but first, she would have to face a handful of overdoses, one of which nearly killed her, have a section of her liver cut out, and have a temporary pace-maker.

All of it just made Axl more strict about drugs. Not just for the sake of the band and the fans, but he was afraid some members of Guns in particular would pull Tansy back into the merry-go-round of addiction after she got clean.

"You're telling me I can't stay with him and Tansy?" I ask Doc harshly in a whisper once the four of us get to his house.

"You won't want to stay, Viv. I'm telling you, they're gonna pull out all the stops to get you to cave and get them some smack because they'll be in so much pain. I don't want you to see them like that and I don't want you to compromise their recovery." He explains.

"You think I would do that?!"

"I know you would if it came down to it." He states and I roll my jaw. "This isn't just little flu symptoms and some body aches. They will feel like they are going to die, they will look like they are going to die and I cannot trust you not to give in." His brutal honesty. "You'll be able to see them in about a week, they'll be better by then and then we can look at the next step. Got it?"

I just glare at him.

"Go kiss 'em 'bye' and fuck off." He says next, waving his hand at me dismissively as he goes to my car to grab Nikki's bag and his car to grab Tansy's.

I step back into the living room to tell them 'bye' but stop myself, deciding it's better to let Doc deal with Nikki's pissed off temper when he discovers I won't be staying with them.

Grabbing my car keys from the table by the door, I head the house.

When I get back to our house, I check the machine that's blinking a light to signal a missed call.

I go to the kitchen and get a glass of water as Slash's voice slurs through the speaker.

"H-Hey, Viv, um...uh...we..." I chuckle at his incoherent mumbling and step to the phone to call him back as another message starts playing where his left off.

"Viv," It's Duff. "Call us back as soon as you can."

I furrow my brows a little, about to dial them back until yet another message comes on.

"Viv, we got signed!" Steven's screaming has me dropping my water and the phone, joy coursing through the soles of my feet up to my hair, and I'm running around and screaming along with his recorded message loudly blaring his own excitement.

I run back to the phone and pick it up, dialing their apartment.

"We got signed!" Steven's voice is shouting at me before the phone even rings a single ring.

"When?! How?! By who?!" I say back.

"We'll tell you over dinner because guess who got $7,500 cash advances?! The same mother fuckers who've been stealing from strippers to get by, that's who!" He exclaims.

"Yeah, don't ever tell people you guys did that!" I say in the same tone. "Lemme change and I'll be over there, okay?"

"Okay." He replies, and I can just hear his smile through the phone.

I hang up and give one last scream of happiness before sprinting to get changed and leave.

Tom Zutaut, the same man responsible for giving Mötley Crüe their shot, had given the same shot to Guns N' Roses.

They had signed to Geffen Records, and although that was their second goal--the first was getting a band together--they knew the main goal was to release their first album, and hopefully, have it a success.

Before I can even knock on the door, it's swinging open and Steven's like a puppy, jumping around, waiting on me by the door.

I hug him tightly, trying to keep myself from crying with immense relief that they're one step closer--a giant step closer--to their dream.

When we pull away from each other, Duff holds his hand up for me to give him a high-five and I do, his fingers locking with my hand to pull me into a hug and I'm sandwiched between him and Steven momentarily.

A flash catches my eye and we pull away from each other to see a girl with short, blonde hair, that I've never seen before, holding a camera.

"That's gonna be a good one." She tells us, smiling at Duff as the Polaroid deposits.

Mandy Brixx, member of the punk band, Lotus Lame and The Lame Flames, was a cute girl with bleach blonde hair, beautiful brown eyes and a captivating smile...and was also Duff's first wife.

Mandy wasn't perfect, but she didn't disown Duff after he told her he had gotten me pregnant.

Even though he didn't cheat on her with me, and they had been broken up for about six months when he and I got involved, I know it hurt her knowing he had hooked up with the woman she was sure she didn't have to worry about when they dated. They ended up getting back together in 1988 and got married the same year.

They divorced two years later because something just "changed" and neither of them were happy, but I've always respected her because she was really good to Monroe.

His second wife, however, was crazier than a run over dog because she was always on something.

The last time I saw her in 1993, she had said something crass and rude to Tansy and before Tansy could reply, I was asking Linda, "were you born a cunt or does the crack just bring it out of you?"

She swung on me and I swung back. Except when I throw a punch, I make sure it lands.

Maybe she would've actually hit me if her equilibrium weren't as fried as her brain.

I would've kicked her ass if Duff and Matt Sorum hadn't pulled me off of her.

I hope she got her shit together after they divorced in 1995.

I guess bass players and crack-head models go hand-in-hand...

"Viv, this is my girlfriend, Mandy." Duff introduces me. "Mandy, this is my best friend, Viv."

"Hi, it's good to finally meet you." Mandy tells me with a gentle smile and I extend my hand to her.

"You, too." I reply as she takes my hand in her's, my eyes subtly flickering to Duff now that he's standing beside her, silently asking him when the hell he was going to tell me about his girlfriend.

"I'll tell you later." He mouths to me where she can't see and I just keep smiling as she strikes up conversation with me.

Once we get to the Rainbow, Steven and I are a few steps in front of Duff and Mandy, the blonde drummer letting out a little sigh.

"What is it?" I ask, nudging him.

"Just worried about Tansy." He admits, and I raise my brows. "It's not like that, Viv, I swear." He promises. "She's a cool person, is all. I wish she was here to celebrate this with us."

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear about it when you're allowed to go visit her in rehab." I remind him. "Where's the guys?" I ask next as we step into the Rainbow.

"Slash is hanging out with this chick he met a couple weeks ago, Izzy's with his girl friend and I don't know where Axl is." He tells me and I nod. "So it's just a double date for us tonight." He grins widely, winking at me slickly.

After hours of just goofing off, talking, eating and demonstrating our celebration of Guns' stepping stone, Mandy's calling it a night.

"I'll call you later, Duff." She says to him as she grabs her jacket and he stands up to let her scoot out of the booth.

"Sounds good, babe." He replies, kissing her cheek.

"It was really nice to meet you." She tells me.

"It was nice to meet you, too." I reply.

"Bye." She smiles one last time at Duff, waving to Steven before leaving.

"When did you me--"

"Viv, lemme out." Steven interrupts me and I furrow my brows.

"What?"

"Lemme out, there's a hot girl at the bar and she just waved me over. I wanna get laid. Lemme out." He pleads and I roll my eyes and scoot out so he can stand up.

He does so, heading straight to the bar to try his luck with a beautiful brunette.

And then there were two.

"You were saying?" Duff chuckles out when Steven's gone and I smile a little.

"When did you and Mandy meet?" I ask him and he lets out a breath of cigarette smoke.

"Uh, a month ago, maybe? She gave me her number and I went back and forth with myself until I convinced myself to call her." He explains. "We spent the weekend together so I guess we get along pretty good. She's a great girl."

"She seems nice." I tell him, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, she is." He agrees, taking another drag of his cigarette.

I take a sip of my water and sit in the silence that falls over us before noticing he's staring at me.

"What?" I ask him.

"You wanna go somewhere with me?" He offers, putting his cigarette out.

"Where?"

"C'mon." He stands up, nodding to the door.

"But Steven--"

"--Is about to go mess around with that girl in the bathroom. He's not gonna be mad if we leave him." He adds. "C'mon, you'll like where we go."

"If you say so." I shrug.

He pays the bill and the two of us head back to their apartment so he can get his car.

I know I should have been at home by the phone, waiting for a call from Doc or Nikki or Tansy, but it was pointless to sit at home and worry when I couldn't do anything about it anyway.

When we get to where we're going, Duff is parking his car in the lot of an abandoned building, and I glance around to see there's not much traffic around us.

"Is this the part where you murder me?" I ask him and he busts out in laughter, shaking his head.

"This is where Mandy and her band rehearses." He explains.

"Why're we here?"

"I picked her up here the other day and noticed something you might like." He gets out the car and opens his trunk, pulling out a shopping bag.

"Duff..." I say, uneasy as we approach the rusted door.

"Shh, I got it." He digs in his jacket pocket and plucks out a worn key, unlocking the dead bolt and the door knob.

I follow him inside, and he switches on a light switch, only one light beam in the ceiling comes on, and in the large, dim room, I see a large mirrored wall, sleek but worn out wood floors, and I turn to see Duff holding out a brand new pair of pointe shoes to me.

I wasn't going to tell him I'd gone so long without dancing that I'd have to work my way back up to dancing on pointe, because he'd spent money for the shoes and they looked to be around my size and I didn't want to know how observant he had to be to estimate my shoe size in terms of ballet...so I did something I was really good at doing at that time in my life.

I kept myself from crying.

I knew Duff was going to be a constant encourager in my life when he held those shoes out to me and so easily, so confidently, said:

"You've supported and helped me get into my groove of things to start accomplishing my dream. Now, I'm helping you get back into your's."

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mötley crüe #gateway drug

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rainycl0udss · 4 years

Text

Chapter 2;

The party of the year

//When can I say "I love you"?//

Written part!

Word count; 2843

Moons pov

It has been two hours since we arrived at the Halloween party and I already managed to lose my friends.

Again.

I stand at the bar alone and look around the crowd. I absolutely hate crowds.

I pick up my glass of water and move to go and find my friends.

This is the last time that I'm giving in to them. I knew it was a bad idea.

They were kinda right that I don't spend that much time with them anymore but that isn't my fault. I'm just really busy with school. Music isn't going to produce itself and films aren't going to shoot themselves either. It's alot of work, definitely if I want to keep my scholarship. I can't afford to lose it. Daniel always tells me he would pay for my studies and that I should enjoy myself, but I know he doesn't have the money to do so. Plus I am perfectly enjoying myself in the studio.

My thoughts are interrupted when I suddenly hear someone yell my name.

"MOON!"

I look around to see where the voice is coming from.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I turn around to identify the person who just touched me.

"Here you are, I've been looking for you."

It was Jae-hwa. And what does she mean, she been looking for me. I have been looking for her.

"Jae, where have YOU been? I've been looking for YOU. Where are Mimi and Yun?" I ask her.

"Well..." She stared.

I can already feel that something happened. Something I probably don't want to know and definitely don't want to get involved in.

"... Mimi drank a bit too much..." She continues.

" When does she not drink too much?" I tel her while rolling my eyes.

"She dank so much that right now she's puking in the bathroom." Jae finishes.

I just sigh.

Honestly I'm not even surprised anymore at this point. Mimi always drinks too much. It was bound to happen at some point that she was going to puke it all out.

"Are you serious right now?" I sigh.

"Yeah and it doesn't look to good." Jae notes.

"Wait a hot second, why are you here when Mimi is puking her guts out in the bathroom? Couldn't you better have stayed with her?" I ask

"I didn't leave her there alone you moron, Yun is with her." She informs me.

"That's the same as leaving her alone. Or am I wrong?" I argue.

There falls a short silence between us. Or well, as silent as it can get at a party in a club.

The silence only confirms that I am right.

"She didn't look that drunk yet..." Jae mumbles after a while.

"Let's just fetch those two drunk bastards and go home, I've had enough." I decide.

Jae just nobs at me and pulls me along to the bathroom.

This is exactly why I hate going out. So much people. So much noice. Strangers making out with other strangers and let's not forget Dumbass friends who are picking all over the place.

We finally arrive at the bathrooms.

"Jae, Moon tHerE you GuYs aRe." Yun slurs out.

Yep, she is definitely drunk"

"Eumm... She WaS hErE jusT a MomeNt aGo." Yun giggles.

"Yun? Are you trying to tell me you lost Mimi? Because I hope to God you are not." Jae barks

Well, this ain't good. Not at all. This is bad.

Yun doesn't seems to be bothered at all by the turn of events.

"I dIdN't lOse hEr, I jUsT doN't knOw wHerE sHe is." Yun tries to argue.

Key word; tries.

"YUN! You are supposed to be the oldest here!" Jae angerly yells out.

"I shouldn't have left you both alone.." she then mumbles.

Just before Jae has the chance to start yelling again I hear an all to familiar voice.

"Guys here you are." I hear a cheerful voice say. It's none other then Mimi herself. She sounds oddly happy for just puking her guts out.

"Mimi! Where were you? Why the fuck would you just leave?" Jae yells. Ones again.

I have a feeling we will be going home soon.

I like that feeling.

"I didn't leave, I just went to another bathroom stall. Mine was a little dirty from, you know.." Mimi replies rather calmly.

At this point I'm not sure whether she is completely wasted or wether she actually sobered up a little.

"Let's just all calm down and try to stay together for the rest of the party, alright?" Mimi suggests.

"Or how about we just get the fuck out of here and go home?" I hint.

"I lIke MimiS iDea bEtTer." Yun replies.

"Nobody asked for your opinion Soo-Yun." Jae hisses.

I hear Jae sigh.

That is not good.

"I'm JuSt saYiNg, I waNna sTay sO I cAn trY anD fInd My SouLmAtE. Isn't tHat WhY we cAmE in ThE fiRsT pLaCe?" Yun slurs out.

That probably means we'll be here for a while. This sucks.

"I guess you have a point there, I don't wanna die alone either." Jae agrees after a second.

"Let's get to the dance floor bitches!" Mimi then yells out and pulls me with her in the direction of the dance floor.

This night is turning out to suck even more then I thought it would. That statement alone says it all.

"I'm just gonna sit over there yeah?" I excuse myself while sneaking away from Mimi.

Without waiting for a response I turn around and walk over to the bar.

If I'm going to be here for the rest of the night then I at least deserve a good drink.

And here I am, ones again, alone at the bar with a drink in my hand. This time I at least know where my idiotic friends are. I look up at the dance floor to see all three of them moving their bodies in the rhythm of the music.

Lord do I hate parties. I do have to say that the dj isn't that bad. The music sounds good mixed up. But I guess you don't need to be a pro to be able to do that.

An hour later and I'm still in the same spot I was in the hour before.

I've got to say, things didn't escalate.

Yet.

I look up from my third drink of the evening. Only to see Yun grinding on a guy, Mimi making out with a guy and I can't see Jae at the moment.

I sigh ones again.

I'm way to sober for this shit. But I can't get drunk right now. That would mean I would be hungover tomorrow and tomorrow I have a bunch of stuff to do.

I take the last sip of my drink before I put it down on the bar.

Sometimes I really question why I'm friends with them. I guess because I literally don't talk to anyone else but them. We also have known each other since highschool, so that might be another reason why.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when I hear an unfamiliar female voice on my right side.

"What are you doing here on your own?" The female voice asks me gently.

I look up to the side and look right into some soft brown eyes.

"Eum., I eum I just don't really feel like eum feel like dancing." I stutter out.

I mentally face palm. Damn Moon, you can't even talk to another girl.

"Did you come here alone?" The gentle voice asks me.

"Eum.. no I'm here with my friends." I reply as steady as possible.

"That's good to hear, I've seen you sitting there for over an hour doing nothing at all. I got a little worried so I thought I should come up and ask you." The gentle woman explains.

"That is very considerate of you unnie." I smile up at the gentle female.

"Oh no, where are my manners. My name is Areum, you can call me Ari unnie." The gentle voice tells me, who I now know belongs to Areum.

"It is nice to meet you Ari unnie, I'm Moon." I introduce myself.

"Nice to meet you Moon, so, what are you doing here alone?" Ari unnie asks me again.

I sigh for the one hundred time this night.

"I'm not really a party person, but sadly my friends are. So they convinced me to come along with them. I'm regretting it tho." I ramble.

"Sounds like a pain." Unnie giggles.

I laugh at her statement.

"It is a pain." I laugh a little.

"Do you want another drink?" Unnie asks me.

"No thank you unnie, I can't afford to get drunk tonight, I've got alot of work to do tomorrow. I also have to stay sober because I'm fairly sure I'll have to dive tonight. Let's not forget my friends who I have to look after. I'm their babysitter after all." I ramble on.

"Not trying to find your Soulmate?" Unnie asks curiously.

"I'm not really churching for them .." I begin.

"Oh? That's unusual. Why not?" She wonders.

"Well, if I'm meant to be with my soulmate I believe I will find them without trying. Why try so hard when it should happen naturally. And even if it wouldn't find them, I wouldn't really care...." I explain.

"That is an interesting way of seeing it. I do understand your philosophy, many people just see it different then you do." She responds

Most people think it's weird that I don't want to find my soulmate. They all think I don't give a fuck, even tho that is partly true, it isn't completely the truth. I wouldn't mind finding my soulmate, I just don't think I should do such an extensive church for them. I want to be together with a person because I like them for who they are, not just because they're my soulmate.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when I hear Ari unnie continue.

"Although, I do know someone who thinks the same as you." She recalls

"Tell them I agree and that they're not the only ones who are strange." I reply while I giggle a little.

We talked for probably an hour like this.

We talked about anything really. She told me about her friends and her husband. Apparently she's already married to her Soulmate. She doesn't look that old tho?

Overall, I was actually enjoying myself.

I look up at the dance floor ones again to check what my friends are doing, only to find out that I no longer see any of my friends anymore.

You can't be serious right now.

I literally don't look for five minutes and they're gone.

"I'm really sorry Unnie, but I really have to find my friends. I can't see them at the moment and God knows what they're doing right now." I inform her.

"But ofcourse Moon, I didn't mean to hold you up at all." Ari unnie expresses.

"You did not hold me up at all Unnie, I actually quite enjoyed talking to you." I confess quickly.

I definitely don't want her to think she was bothering me. I'm happy it was her who started talking to me instead of some random guy who tries to get in my pants.

"Why don't you come to my coffee shop sometime, I'd really like to talk to you again." She smiles at me.

"You own a coffee shop?" I ask her surprised. She doesn't look that old.

She only looks a year or two older then me. I guess it's possible to own a coffee shop at such a young age, it's just very surprising.

I think she could see the surprise on my face because she stared to laugh before she started to talk.

"You seem rather surprised that I own a shop." She continues laughing.

"I'm sorry Unnie but you just look rather young, not much older then me and I'm only 20..." I mutter.

"Oh dear, I'm 26 years old right now. So that is not that near your age as you think." She smiles at me.

"But thank you for thinking I look so young." She continues.

Suddenly I hear someone yell, I'm pretty sure they're telling my name.

"MOON?!" Yep, that's my call.

"I hear you have to go to the rescue. And who am I to stay in your way " unnie jokes.

"But before you go, my shop is called Blooming, please do consider coming." She says quickly while waving at me as she leaves.

"I definitely will unnie, thank you!" I yell while walking away from her.

She was very nice, I honestly enjoyed talking to her. She is probably the best part of this night.

"Moon, jUsT wHo I nEedeD." The slurring voice from Mimi says.

I already regret leaving the bar.

"What do you need me for Mimi?" I elaborate.

"I tHinK it'S tImE to Go hOme And yOu neEd to drIve." She tries to explain to me.

Ofcourse that's why. I'm actually rather happy that she wants to go home, Because I do too.

"Where is the rest?" I ask her because there is no sign of Yun or Jae.

"Jae is AlreAdy By tHe car." She responds

"Oke that's good, where is Soo-Yun?" I imply.

"I'm..... Not sUrE..." She mumbles to herself.

I facepalm.

Did they seriously lose each other again. This is ridiculous.

"Just..eum.. just go to the car and wait in the car with Jae yes? I'll just go and find Soo-Yun..." I begin to explain to her.

But I soon realize my idea is very bad.

There is no way she would find the car on her own.

Fucking great.

"Nevermind, I'm bringing you to the car and you'll wait there." I reply quickly and drag her with me to the car.

Ones we arrive at the car I see Jae sitting next to the car on the ground.

"Get of the ground and get your asses in the car." I exclame frustrated.

Luckily both of them do as I say and get in the car.

I close the door and walk back to the party.

Great, now I have to find that little midget in here.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I turn around and am faced with very familiar soft brown eyes.

It's Ari unnie.

"You seem stressed my little coffee bean, what's the problem? Can't find your friends?" She asks rather worried.

Wait, did she just call little coffee bean?

Nevermind that, I've got no time for that, I need to find Soo-Yun and get us home.

"You can say that, I only can't find one. The others are already in the car." I try to explain quickly to her.

"Want me to help you out a little?" She asks me.

I don't think I've ever been so happy with help that I have been offered.

"That would be very kind if you want to help me." I practically marvel.

She gives me a kind smile and nobs as a sign for me to keep walking.

It didn't take us to long to find her, only about ten minutes. I think that's a new record.

After Ari unnie and I found Yun, we walk to the car.

I have no idea what the hell she has drunk this evening and I have a sneaking suspicion that I don't want to know.

One thing is for sure, it was way to much.

Ones all three of them are in the car I turn to Areum.

"I can't thank you enough for helping me out." I cry out.

"Absolutely no problem little coffee bean, I'm happy to help. But can I ask for a little favor?" She chimes

"Ofcourse unnie, what do you need? You want a lift home?" I ramble.

"No coffee bean I don't need a lift home, I've got one but thank you anyway." She smiles at me.

I urge her to continue talking.

"You have to promise and come by my shop, yes? I'd really like to have a coffee with you little coffee bean." She grins.

She then gives me a small cart with an address on it and contact information.

"Ofcourse unnie, i promise to come next week." I promise her.

She seems pleased with my answer and gives me a hug before going back to the party.

After she left I get in the car and drive the four of us home.

Ones we're home I get everyone to their room and then go to mine.

I actually had some fun tonight.

That's a first.

I dress up in my PJs and jump in my bed.

I look at my phone and notice it's already 03:18 am.

I had no idea it was that late already.

I lay down in my bed and turn on my alarm.

Tomorrow morning is going to be a pain.

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🏷️Tags;

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