#this is the job

[softquietsteadylove]

For the bodyguard AU:

A crazy Fan attacks Thena with a knife on stage. Luckily Gil is there to protect her👀

The crowd was roaring with enthusiasm for her performance. She was coming off the high of a few straight shows that had gone well. The audience was feeling excited, and it had even spread to Thena, penetrating her pessimistic shell.

Thena waved to them as they applauded her efforts. She swallowed, feeling the fatigue in her vocal cords after the full set she had performed. Nothing like a full concert, but evident none the less. She backed up from the microphone.

"Athena! Athena, you're my goddess!"

Gil looked out from backstage, trying to find where the voice had come from.

Thena also scanned the crowd, but couldn't find anyone who might have been able to be heard so above and beyond everyone else. She tried not to let it show on her face.

"Athena, I love you!"

She looked closer to the front, wondering who possessed that voice. It was male, deep, rough. Everyone close to the barricades seemed to be younger fans jumping and waving.

"Athena, be mine!"

Her chest rose and fell more quickly. This was becoming more of a situation by the second, but she couldn't pinpoint the source. She took a few more steps back, her hand subconsciously reaching behind her for a comforting presence.

Gil emerged from backstage to meet her halfway. Usually his code of conduct - per the label's insistence - was to be present but not seen. But this was an exception, "come on."

"I said you're mine, you bitch!"

Gil pulled Thena behind him, holding out his arms and making his surface area replace Thena's tiny frame behind him. He searched the crowd for himself, with eyes trained to detect problems like this.

Security dove for the man, but he must have had training in something. Because all they did was provide him with a staircase of bodies he could use to launch himself onto the stage.

"Athena!"

Gil's eyes focused in on the knife in his hand. There were worse weapons to face, but the best one to disarm was none. He held out his hand, "put it down!"

The assailant charged at them, fuelled by either delusion or a more powerful, more tangible substance. He came in swinging, "she's mine!"

Thena curled up behind Gil, not able to do much else in the given situation.

Gil moved only as close as needed to grab the assailant's hands by the wrists. So long as he could overpower him, he could keep the threat minimal. "Don't even think about it!"

Gil was stronger than the freak jumping impossible distances up onto the stage. He raised their hands above their heads, not leaving much room to get stabbed in the crosshairs. "Let it go!"

Bodies in yellow and black polo shirts came rushing out; better late than never, at least. The venue security rushed the assailant, enough of them piling on the threat that it didn't matter what was in his system, he went down hard.

The knife clattered away across the stage. The crowd screamed.

Gil didn't wait to see what would become of the animal, or deliver any last words. He turned around, pulling Thena into his arms and rushing her off stage, "come on."

Thena clung to him.

"Move, move, out of the way!" Gil barked at anyone who so much as came near them. This was his job, this was his protectee, his client: this was Thena. "Make some room!"

He led them straight through the backstage and out of the building. He wasn't making any stops in any dressing rooms, Kingo would bring them anything they had left behind. His priority now was getting Thena alone and safe with him.

She followed him silently, clinging to him.

Gil held his jacket up and in front of her face as they made their way to the car waiting for them. As always, no matter how they tried, there were still fans clambering to get a glimpse of the Goddess of War in her human form. "Back up!"

Thena climbed into the SUV, immediately sliding over in the backseat so Gil could slide in after her, no need to go around to the other door. He jumped in, nearly cracking his head on the frame in his haste. He slammed it closed and leaned forward, "drive!"

The ride service didn't ask questions.

Gil put the divider up immediately, looking over at Thena, "hey."

"I'm okay," she exhaled, with only some trembling in it. She pushed her hair out of her face.

"Thena," he repeated, moving until their legs were squished together on the hard and uncomfortable leather seats. "Look at me."

"I'm okay, she repeated before he held her cheeks, guiding her gently to meet his eyes. Her face crumbled.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling her into his shoulder as he rubbed her back. No matter how expected or calculated a risk it was, it was still someone threatening her safety and life. He never blamed her for feeling rattled by the actions of those obsessed with her persona.

Thena shook her head against him, still pressing her eyes into his suit jacket. She was dismissing herself.

"Hey, no one would blame you," he said gently, holding the trembling songstress. "He came at you with a knife, Thena. It never should have happened."

She let out a breath, even more shuddery than the last. "You shouldn't have to keep doing this."

Protecting her? "Thena, it's my job to do this. I'm certainly not gonna let you fight these creeps by yourself."

"I mean it!" she lifted her head, pursing her lips in that stubborn way she had.

He brushed away some of her tears, careful of the eye makeup she had on that was admirably still in place. "I do too, Thena. I'm not going to let anyone get away with shit like that."

Thena pulled back, brushing more of her tears off his lapel and clearing her throat, which any vocalist usually did their best to avoid doing. She sniffled, "this seems to keep happening."

Gil let her fuss over him, if it made her feel better about it, "a couple times in a year is a pretty bad streak."

Thena looked at him in the dim light of the back of the limo. "I know you're saying it's not a big deal, but I've watched you had to fight a few too many psychos for my liking. And I still haven't forgotten when that mob of Eros' little fan-children mobbed you."

Gil chuckled, "that was a pretty bizarre fight to have."

"I wouldn't call it a fight," Thena grumbled but sat back again with a sigh. She flicked some hair over her shoulder, "at least the show was good. Although I'm sure Kingo is already bursting a blood vessel over the coverage of that attack."

"It was pretty open to see that the guy was nuts," Gil shrugged, already reaching into his suit jacket for both their phones. "Limo's taking us straight home. Do you want delivery?"

She looked up from her phone as he handed it to her, giving him the saddest, greenest eyes, like a kitten in the rain. She nodded.

How could he ever say no to that? He opened the app, "mood?"

"Surprise me," she sighed, looking down at her phone to check what Kingo was saying.

"Okay," Gil chuckled, already knowing to order her a comforting bowl of ramen with some dumplings on the side. He claimed one of her hands with his, even though it hindered her texting greatly.

She did visibly have trouble texting Kingo back with only her left thumb and a phone wider than her slim hand's width. But she gave him a squeeze back, grateful for the comfort.

#Thenamesh Bodyguard AU #it always feels nice to revisit these #because I never feel out of practice with these two #hopefully they always feel in character in this universe for you guys #Gil really does have a lot to deal with #but he's made for this #this is the job #and he takes it very seriously #Kingo does text them like wtf was that? #Gil tells him to look it up he's sure all the fans caught footage of it #also please bring Thena's stuff to her place for them #he's not leaving her side because obviously #They're both exhausted from the adrenaline #she walked into the building in costume and everything #door guy is like hey Thena hey Gil normal thursday night huh? #Gil does get delivery and basically feeds her all night #runs her a back #rubs her feet for her #the ultimate malewife #but he's your security guard #what is this booktok? #just kidding I don't read books I write this instead

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

you should be so proud of yourself on your promotion!! Be excited! Congratulations buddy!! We’re so proud of you, too 💛

Thanks 😭😭😭😭

#I have moments where I’m like- #wow this is it #this is the job #this is the title #this is the paycheck #what I always wanted #like my long term job destination #and now it’s like…. what now? #it’s like I just got everything I wanted for my career but now I’m terrified of what’s awaiting me after 30 😬

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

@magitekconveyor

#work #job #jobs #twitter #meme #memes #tweets #tweet #funny #lol #humor

[daylighteclipsed]

ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL

#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GAIN EXPERIENCE YOU STUPID FUCKS #I HATE THIS I HATE JOB HUNTING THIS SYSTEM IS ABSOLUTE DOG SHIT

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

#guy who is getting out of work at 1pm!!!! 📢 #tomorrow is my last day but u have loved this job. i love to leave. #trb.txt #i* have

[corpish]

in recognition of World Down Syndrome Day on March 21

#please watch!! #imo this ad does a really good job of storytelling from start to finish #tiktok #down syndrome #1k #5k #10k #15k #20k #30k #40k #50k #75k

[temporalteardrop]

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

#me serving customers while chappell roan's red wine supernova is stuck in my head #me: yeah that'll be £3.60 / my brain: she did it right there‚ out on the deck: put her canine teeth in the side of my neck #rose's incessant yearnings #rose's gay little job #rose's ramblings

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin

#it is hell on earth out here #got like 6 different rejection emails today #so much fun /sarcasm #job hunting

[bahoreal]

obsessed with this

#like. not to make everything about good omens but #crowley #there are so many versions of this with him gazing at aziraphale its so fkabdkahdbw #i did a real bad job at positioning these fjsbdhs i also know the last one is 'no one knows what..' but. whatever #.jtxt

[animentality]

#twitter #baby boomers #gen z #job market #economy #recession

[literallyaflame]

how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

#yes this applies to gender too #if a kid says ‘i’m a girl!!’ it might be because they’re a girl or #it might be because they’ve got an incomplete picture of what a ‘girl’ is in their brains #and as a parent ur job is to help them complete those pictures #by asking them questions and giving them new information and playing w them

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers #they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy #but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure #respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys #I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years #anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period #i was always at my besties house lol #i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever... #bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️

[anotherchariotpulledbycats]

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.

You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.

Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.

#chariotposting #jobs

[wrishwrosh]

one neat bonus of being a picky eater as a child is that adult life is filled with so many beautiful discoveries. have you guys heard about caesar salad? im turning 26 this week

#i didnt like lettuce as a kid #but now as a grown up with a full time job i have the glorious opportunity to pay $14 for very delicious lettuce #im havin a shit week but damn if that salad cant fuckin caesar

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

#class war #class warfare #classism #capitalism #second job

[ato-dato]

Piss off!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!! :)))))

#bookstore-sitting is a very hard job #you wouldn’t understand #anyway #we interrupt your usual funny programme for a little bit of angst #but we’ll be back shortly #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #crowley #muriel #good omens muriel #good omens season two #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens fanart #good omens s2 #art #artwork #my art #fanart #digital art #drawing #comic #fan comic