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#this is what I do now to procrastinate writing I guess
milkovichrules · 7 months
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true love
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ruelpsen · 5 months
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Honestly, as someone who has been going through fictosexual attraction for years and also didn't know how to deal with it at first: Just write and think about the most self-indulgent bullshit you can picture. It is the only way to keep sane or so I've found.
Oh I'm already on it, believe me. In fact, here's a little snippet from what I've been working on...
"Are you... turned on by this too?" you ask. "I'm not sure," he growls. "I will admit it's not something I've ever involved in my... liaisons before. But seeing you so desperate like this is always sure to awaken a hunger in me. Or rather-" he pauses for a moment, burping again- "a thirst." With that, he kisses you deeply once more. You feel his fangs press against your lips as you moan with pleasure. You grip the back of his shirt as your hips instinctively buck against his, suddenly jostling his body. He abruptly breaks his lips away from yours only to turn his head to the side and release a short, thick belch. "Apologies," he says. "I didn't want to be..." He trails off, lost in thought for a moment. He eyes you for a second, observing the redness in your cheeks and the pleading look in your eyes. "On second thought, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" "Yes," you moan. "God, yes." "My, my, what a nasty little creature you are..."
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thrilling-oneway · 6 months
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oh this essay is going to be so fucking good (it is currently 159 words long)
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corpsoir · 1 year
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hi. ever wondered how skagen got his scar over his eye. well i wrote a little silly story about it have funnnn if theres misspellings or weird grammar no theres not dont look at it <3
its about 1.4k words long!
cw for drowning!
He has dreamt about drowning. Read about it in books, seen it in movies too. All of that had failed to mention just how badly it would hurt and how exhausting it is. Every single gasp for air feels like knives in his chest, but then again, it’s not much air he’s breathing in after all. His lungs are filled with the salt of the sea around him, the loud crashing of the waves against the rocks fills his ears, making him feel dizzy. His arms and legs feel like they're made of lead, fighting the waves becomes increasingly impossible the more he moves.
How did he even end up here? Skagen’s mind feels foggy and blurry, and instead of focusing on trying to keep his head above the waves, his mind wanders. It’s easier than trying to fight the sea anyways, and oh he’s so tired… Oh, how easy it would be to just... Let go and relax, letting the sea cradle him and rock him until his eyelids feel like heavy leather, impossible to keep open. One wave sweeps him farther away from the rocks, and the next sends him hurtling against them. Somewhere in the distance he can feel the barnacles tearing his skin open.
The salt in Skagen's eyes and lungs stings. The waves are whispering and roaring simultaneously, and he feels himself floating away to just this morning, lying safely in bed under his warm covers. The memory already feels a little bit blurry around the edges, like spilled water on an ink drawing. Was it really just this morning? It feels like it's been eons. Another gasp for air just fills his lungs with more water. He misses his blanket; this shit is cold and kind of sucks.
Skagen let’s himself get carried away by the sea, back to his warm bed under the covers, the morning sun casting golden stripes in his room, tickling his eyelashes. A hand brushes his hair from his cheek, and he can feel a tired smile forming on his face. The hand then grabs his shoulder and shakes him impatiently.
"Stooop, just five more minutes, come on..." he drawls.
Skagen is hit by a cold rush or air when the covers are lifted, and someone slinks in beside him. Oh, that's right. Solvei had stayed over for a sleepover, now he remembers... Or... Does he? The memory is getting really grainy, the ink on the paper losing its original shape becoming a pitch black, shapeless swirl in the water.
He's so warm and cosy here, his bed rocking him back to sleep. Just five more minutes. Arms still heavy as lead, wrapping them around Solvei proves to be a challenge. Is she slipping away from him already?
"What the hell Sol, come back, where are you going...?" he mumbles, or at least he tries to. All he can muster is a wet gurgle, and it burns. Oh, it burns and his entire face hurts. The covers suddenly feel sharp, like they’re digging into his skin, the pillow a sharp point straight through his eye.
"Skagen," he can hear Solvei saying somewhere far away, above him. "Open your eyes, you idiot."
He does.
He's greeted with the worst pain he's ever felt in his life. His face feels like it's being split in half, torn apart, and a rush of adrenaline surges through his body. Skagen tries to whip his head around to find the surface, but the pain is literally pulling on his face, and the water around him is red, thick with blood.
Wait, are there sharks on the west coast? The thought suddenly hits him out of nowhere, until he realises it’s a fucking stupid thought and he’s currently drowning. There are no blood-thirsty sharks in Sweden. There is water in his lungs though.
He can barely see anything. His hair, the seaweed, the blood, the sunshine breaking through the surface above, all rendering him completely unable to see.
Something yanks on him then, the pain in his face shooting through his entire body, and suddenly he breaks through the surface, yet again feeling his skin being torn apart by the barnacles on the rocks. He wants to scream, but instead of noise its water rushing out of his lungs.
While in the water, his arms and legs felt heavy and difficult to move, but now it's virtually impossible. He tries to sit up, tries to move his arms and get away from the waves lapping at his feet and legs, but no matter what he does he can’t force his muscles to move even an inch.
He can hear someone shouting, a man’s voice. Stop yelling, Skagen thinks. I’m trying to sleep here, can you shut up?
The last rush of adrenaline he felt has left him, and he's left a cold, bruised and bloody mess on the rocks.
---
Next thing he knows, he's in a hospital bed. Warm blankets remind him of this morning again. Oh, this feels nice actually, it's just what he needed! Warm, cosy, it feels like he's floating. He can hear his parents outside, but their conversation is muffled and sounds... Weird. It's as if someone pitched everything down and made every noise sound offbeat and out of tune. There's a pressure on his face and opening his eyes he realises his right eye has been covered with something. He tries to raise his hand to poke at whatever is covering his face.
Someone is holding his hand in place.
"If you would've died there, I would've killed you, Skagen."
Ah, it's Solvei.
Grinning, he turns to look at her. "What're you talking about... I’d be double dead…” he grumbles. God, his vocal cords feel like they’re made of sandpaper. Sound like it, too.
Solvei slaps the hand she's holding and doesn't return his smile. The slight upward twitch in the corners of her lips doesn't go unnoticed by Skagen though.
"You-... Shut up, you were drowning! Stop joking, you scared the shit out of me! They had to bring you here with a fucking helicopter! What if it had crashed!" She is genuinely upset with him, that much is clear. Skagen feels a sting of guilt. He shuffles onto his elbows and slowly sits up, even this little movement renders him out of breath. Ugh, breathing hurts.
"Are you saying I got to fly in a helicopter, and I don't even remember it?" he says, voice strained.
Another slap on his hand sends him into a hoarse laughing fit, and this time Solvei can't keep herself from smiling.
"Careful, before I go tell the nurse to bring me water to finish what the sea started, you idiot."
Skagen scrunches his nose, pokes his tongue out at her and lies down again. God, his body is tired, aching. Bones, muscles, lungs and everything. Especially his face.
About that.
Skagen raises his free hand to poke at the bandages. What the hell happened to him?
“I don’t think you should touch that; the doctor said it looked uh… Pretty bad. I didn’t get to see it though, he might be lying. I dunno.” Solvei lets go of his hand and runs her fingers through his bangs. Sectioning the hair off in even chunks, giving him a clumsy, five stranded braid.
Skagen pokes at his face anyways.
“I can’t really feel anything though, it’s probably not that bad. I think I just got hit with the boom when the boat gybed…” Skagen closes his eye and yawns.
Solvei snorts. Continues her messy braiding. “Uh, yeah no wonder you don’t feel anything, they’ve probably given you like, every painkiller ever. On the planet. And also,” she yanks the half-done braid playfully, “did you forget what I told you already? You nearly drowned. Some guy found you and helped you, said he was out fishing. Caught you on his hook.”
It takes a few seconds of Skagen processing what he’s hearing – no doubt the painkillers making his mind a little foggy – before he starts giggling uncontrollably.
“Would you still like me if I was a trout?” he wheezes.
The laughter erupting from Solvei is only making Skagen cackle more.
“No, you weirdo, I would turn you into fish fingers immediately!” Using the now finished braid she whips him over the nose with it. Gently, of course.
“I bet I would taste delicious.”
“I bet you would taste disgusting. Hey, your hair is still full of salt.”
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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streaming comic-makin sessions would be a nightmare cause i know damn well id just be digitally pacing between twitter and youtube before actually doin shit. it'd be like trying to host a writing stream where everyone would look at a blank canvas for half an hour as i try to figure out what the fuck im gonna do
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miabrown007 · 1 year
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the Night Circus is fiction because there's no way an Adrien-level sheltered guy goes out to the streets in the 19th century and kisses a girl in an hour
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limelocked · 1 year
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My will broke, I’m making a timeline of Yoo Joonghyuk actions outside of his interaction with the Dokja squad, I’m gonna end up writing it huh
I’m not even finished with orv but I’m gonna end up writing a canon from the protagonists perspective fic
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tardis--dreams · 2 years
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11:45pm, sitting here with my ridiculously large tomato-mozarrella sandwich and crying to bad and crazy. I love life.
#I have to write through the night thanks to my immaculate time management skills#but i haven't eaten a lot throughout the day and I figured it would be sensible to eat something even if it's technically night#since i will be staying up for a While (probably until tomorrow night tbh ahaha)#so i took a break from 'working' and continued the rewatch and that one scene in ep 4 again made me ugly cry#which feels ridiculous when you're eating tbh#aw man#I'm too emotionally attached to this show#I'm not even kidding this is on one level with tdj and beyond evil#(well.#beyond evil is kinda unbeatable. but still it's definitely one of my absolute favorite shows now. so I'm very happy i watched this in the#first place because i wasn't sure if I'd like it and almost didn't give it a try)#sorry for rambling#i will continue working now i guess#only have 3000 words left#i can't believe I'm not even feeling stressed after procrastinating this for 4 weeks and now having to write the entire thing in one night#something really is fundamentally wrong with my brain#(or maybe i just got more chill about doing a bad job. i guess i realized it doesn't really matter anyway so why stress about it#bullshitting is fine when it doesn't affect anyone or anything but you. and i would not benefit from doing well anyway so what's the point#yeah good grades are nice but in my position ultimately meaningless since I'm not gonna get a job anyway and also won't stay in academia#for much longer. so whatever. just do whatever ahahaha)#shut up amy
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crimsonblackrose · 2 years
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Finished binging/watching the show. Because my week got all messed up I now have 24 hours to write and edit and polish this article. So I have to figure out how to take all my notes and turn it into something that my boss will enjoy reading and also not be too embarrassing? Like I keep getting hit with waves of embarrassment. On the one hand I really want to write this and it’ll be good for my portfolio to have a pop culture piece on the other hand, my boss is reading it. And no one has the same taste in TV shows as I do at work. Like maybe the new people do but I know my boss doesn’t.
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princesssmars · 8 days
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sweet✰honey✰buckin
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a rodeo!abby x reader.
its a hot spring in the south and rodeo season is here. your hunt for a new fling leads you to an up-and-coming hotshot bull rider with an aversion to groupies. maybe you can change her mind.
wc : 2.509
contains : fxf relationship. barely attempted country slang. fluff. smut. oral and penetrative sex (r!receiving). nicknames (baby, darlin', a single bunny).
a/n : yeah guess who just listened to cowboy carter. idk why i posted about this before writing a single word but i didn't procrastinate this time yall clap it up and enjoy.
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if you think about it, this was really all dolly partons' fault.
you could still picture the first time you saw her, the grainy recording on your grandmother's television, the gentle melodies from the blonde bombshell wrapping around you like a warm hug. you'd only been exposed to the south for a few weeks, and you already knew who you wanted your role model to be.
and the buckle bunny stuff also wasn't your fault! you were gorgeous, as people so loved to remind you at every twist and turn. and maybe you used your looks to your advantage sometimes. the first time was when you batted your eyelashes to make a boy do your project a day before it was due in junior year. he was... good-looking, you supposed. smart enough to be on the chess team, so he would do.
so you went to a little party with your friends that night. a spacious house, nice music, and good enough booze. everything was normal until you saw her. she was lean and mysterious, and under the lid of her black ridge top hat you could see her eyes tracking your body as you danced
so yes, her eating you in the back seat of her truck until you cried, holding down your hips when you tried to move changed your brain chemistry just a bit.
now a few years later, you're a little taller, a little smarter, and have collected a handful of studs for your belt. sure you've collected a...not so savory reputation in some of the local bars, but it was nothing a smile and a little flirting couldn't help. and its only going to get better; as the air warms and the trees bloom pussy spirit starts buzzing, and you know rodeo season is upon you again.
it was a hot night at the cow belle and the people even hotter as you scoped the scene from the rim of your glass. you and your friends were perched at the bar, daisy dukes heightened and crop tops tied under your busts.
"i heard red devil rosie'd be here tonight," savannah whispers to your group from beside you, her tall dark legs relaxed with her arm resting on the wood behind you. she always had a bit of a thing for redheads, and she'd had her eyes on rosie ever since it got around that she'd broken up with her fiancee.
"jesus, sav, the poor girl just got heartbroken, now you already wanna jump her bones?" charlize laughs, taking a hard swig of the beer in her hand. standing at a solid five feet and four inches tall the little kentuckian was a handful, always the first in line to ride a mechanical bull or jump in the front of a line dance.
"whats that saying men always use? as soon as you lose one hop on a 'nother?"
"you are deplorable."
as the girls banter back and forth your eyes focus on the rising commotion at the front of the bar. with a slight rise on your toes, making sure not to scuff your boots, and you can't help the growing smile on your face when you spot that blonde hair pushed down by her signature brown stetson.
abigail anderson, the rodeo's angel. she'd only been in the circuit for under two years and sponsors were lining up and begging for her to go pro. it was always easy to spot her, frequently trailed by her already professional friends manny alvarez and owen moore, along with a handful of groupies begging her to look their way.
luckily for you, manny had flirted with you a few weeks back and remained friendly after you turned him down, and he was heading straight towards you while his friends headed to a booth.
"oh god, hide your wives and girlfriends, the buckle brood is here!" he laughs, thanking the bartender for his beer and taking a swig.
"whatever manny, you're just upset our darling here didn't give you a chance." savannah winks.
"i think god was doing me a favor. y'know dixie's been trying to call you for about a week? the poor girls even thought about sending a bouquet. dixie. a bouquet."
"i made it clear before we slept together it would be a one-time thing. 's not my fault she wants more." you sigh.
that just makes the man laugh harder. he chats it up with charlize about how the rankings are looking when he notices how your gaze keeps wandering off, following your eye straight to-
"no."
"hm? i didnt say anything!"
"you said it with your eyes. and im gonna tell you with my mouth that you don't stand a chance. abby hates groupies." he shakes his head.
"abby, huh? i like it." manny grows exasperated as his words go in one ear and out the other. "'n and im technically not a groupie. never seen the woman in my life before now."
"well, look don't touch. or maybe don't look at all, before you put a spell on her or somethin."
you pout, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck and bring him into a hug. you see abby look your way in the corner of your eye and make sure to stretch your torso just a tiny bit until you're able to feel the bottom of your shirt ride up just that much more. when you see her eyes trail down your waist you hide a smile into the side of your arm.
you let the man go with a sweet goodbye, watching as he grabs two more beers and heads over to the booth and twisting your head before you can catch the blondes gaze.
its only a few minutes later when manny comes back with wide eyes and invites you over to sit with them.
sitting across from her, you can see why people are so attracted to her. she’s big, her muscles bulging out from the sleeves in her plaid shirt. despite her size she doesn’t try to take up more space then needed; confident but not cocky.
she clearly notices your glances, and maybe even the smile on your face when one of her past flings with a girl is brought up in conversation.
“so, you’ve had girlfriends before?” you ask, stirring your cocktail with the little colorful umbrella that came with it.
“no no, don’t answer that, you’ll regret it.” owen butts in, meeting your glare. you’d never talked before, but you were pretty sure you had slept with his fiancée a few years ago. last you’d heard they’d had a baby, maybe you’d offer to babysit sometime.
“why not? are you a groupie?” abby asks.
“can’t be a groupie if i barely know who you are. so why don’t we get to know each other better. preferably in private.”
“whatever you say, darlin.”
you hear the sudden sounds of a few hoots and claps and a familiar song that they always play to get people dancing.
“why don’t you show me some of your moves, big girl?”
she rolls her eyes, letting out a quiet sigh before following you onto the dance floor.
as much as she’s trying to fight it, you can tell abby is enjoying herself, learning quickly as you show her the moves to the dance. you’re a bit surprised she doesn’t know it already until she tells you she’s originally from utah.
“what, they don’t have country bars out in salt lake.”
“no, not like this. at least i never went to any of them.”
“wellll if you ever need a tour guide i’m available. whenever you want me.”
“god, manny told me about you.”
“really? what’s he say? i can probably guess.”
“so you know everybody thinks you’re a playgirl who sleeps with cowgirls for damn near a living and you don’t care?”
you shrug. “‘m just young and having fun. maybe everyone else, including you, is too uptight.”
“oh really? and what, you're supposed to help me loosen up?” she raises a single eyebrow. you don't answer, deciding to just look at her face for a while.
you like how pretty she is. the soft blue of her big eyes, the freckles dotted across her face that trail down her neck and disappear into her shirt. you feel pride in your chest when you see her cheeks redden.
when the song ends you pull away from her, ready to go over and tell your friends goodbye when a large hand grips your wrist, tugging your body back to its previous position. before you can question her you feel the weight of her hat sitting on your head.
"well? you gonna answer my question?"
you can still remember the looks on your friends face's when abby told them she was heading home, still gripping your hand. manny looked like he had just seen pigs fly.
it was hard to ignore the way she didn't let go of you until she was driving or the looks she was giving you when she was looking at the road, or how desperate she was when you finally got her here, dragging you to her room and attaching her strap like she'd die if she didn't get you in bed.
"i don't see what the big fuss is about, this really isn't that hard." you tease her, admiring the way she whines when you refuse to let her wrists go from your hands, using all your strength to keep her from flipping you over
but maybe you should learn when to shut your mouth because she roughly starts bucking her hips, smiling at the euphoric look on your face before you hide your face in her neck, trying and failing to muffle your moans.
"what? i thought you said this was easy?" she laughs when she hears your muffled groan, failing to ignore when you roughly bite her. you can tell she's getting frustrated at being restrained, her hands clenching into fists and repeatedly trying to get them from under your hands. "fuckin - cmon, baby, lemme help you."
god, she was so cute. you'd never say it out loud but you liked all the little nicknames she gave you, the gentle kisses she would place on your skin when she was warming you up for her. if you didn't have a one-time policy you would have chosen to keep her around. just for a little while.
but you could also see the inner turmoil in her eyes, the battle between dominance and submission. when you first met her you thought she'd be a stone top, so you decide to take advantage and reach one of your hands up to her hair and pull, forcing a loud moan from her as her mouth gaped open.
"not so uptight now, are you?" you laugh, awwing at her when she lets out a small whine.
you didnt realize until it was too late that it was a mistake to underestimate her because she was attaching her hands to your hips, planting her feet on the bed, and thrusting up into you like a wild bull, sucking a mark into your chest like she can't see you struggling to breathe.
"yeah, that's it. not so easy now, is it darlin'?"
and oh how you hate how you can't answer her, only able to muster up a weak glare as the pleasure grows, feeling the burning heat gross in your stomach. you're trying to hold off, not ready for this to end just yet, and hating the satisfied look on her face when your shaky arms wrap around her neck.
"you gettin' close, baby?" she maneuvers your legs to spread wider, hitting that spot inside you at just the right angle. god, everything feels so hot and overwhelming and so damn good-
"that's it, show me how pretty you look cummin around me." once she reaches a hand down and roughly rubs your clit it's over, moaning and gasping her name as your orgasm hits you like a freight train. she never stops her movements, in fact, you think she goes harder once she feels your nails dig into her arms.
your head flops onto her shoulder, basking in your post-orgasm bliss as her large hands rub up and down your back. mind hazy, you feel yourself drifting off and giving yourself a mental pat on the back when you're shocked upwards by a fierce thrust from below you, wide eyes darting to abby's.
"what, ya thought we were finished? if you wanna claim me you gotta earn it, bunny."
"oh no, abby i cant-" you try to decline, not sure you can take another before she presses you back into her sheets, manhandling your legs over her shoulders and your arms under your back. she can tell you're about to fight it because she's pushing her strap into you again.
it's embarrassing how close you are already after a few minutes, unable to move as she splits you open in a damn mating press. trying to hide your face in the sheets is futile so you have no choice but to keep eye contact with her, which only brings you closer to the edge because she's looking at you like she wants to fuck you until she physically can't anymore.
she's quieter now but you can hear her mumbling under her breath about how 'you're too damn fine, jesus you're gonna be the death of me,' and the next thing you know you're both cumming, feeling the wet mess grow between your legs.
she sinks into you, boneless on top of you as she gently rubs at your sides as you do the same for her head. after a few minutes she gets up, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips at your soft whine at the strap leaving you before heading off to the bathroom to get a washcloth.
it's gentle as you both clean the other, softly trailing the rag down her arms as she observes you. its almost...domestic. which you haven't done in quite a while. it feels nice.
when she gets up to throw it in the hamper you reach for your clothes on the floor before she questions you.
"excuse me, what do you think you're doin?"
"uhh...leaving?"
"nope, bad manners if i let you go home now," she tosses you a shirt from one of her drawers, finding her own pajamas before flopping on her bed. "i don't know what kinda girls in the circuit you've been seein', but I'm not like that."
you're on the fence, rubbing the fabric of her large shirt before putting it on and settling in next to her. it couldn't hurt just to sleep with her, right? "fine. but you should know i don't normally do...this."
"me neither. but there's a first time for everything, right?" she smiles, rubbing your hip from over the shirt before trailing it under. "besides, maybe we can go again in the morning. still need to prove to you I'm not uptight."
thank god for dolly parton.
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sorry if this is shorter than expected i feel like death. can we all do rodeo!abby this summer. pretty please.
taglist : @euphternal @jupiter-502 @vqxen @youcallmeconnor @andersonlore i love you guys im giving you kisses rn
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kremlin · 2 months
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@wikwalker hi sure yes anything to give me an excuse to procrastinate the post i should be writing right now. here are all teh drugs and how to manage them. you can trust me, a drug addict
first of all: https://www.erowid.org/ , erowid always
don't be afraid of drugs, if they're the right drugs, you should do them since they will be a blast regardless and overcoming fear is also good (but outside the scope here)
OK to do as much as you want: alcohol - social benefit greatly outweighs health effects, no reason to avoid if predisposed to abuse since that'll happen sooner or later. what can i say? don't be a fucking dork. when you start drinking, really overdo it as much as possible without dying and get a few real nasty hangovers under your belt so you know how much is the right amount to drink.
weed - innocuous enough to be fine but will make you stupid in the long term. make sure to only buy from a real drug dealer and never some legal institution. cut it out when you're a "real adult". don't smoke weed and watch TV routinely, go out and do things so you naturally grow to hate it. good to go through this as early as possible to minimize the time you spend as a cringe weed enthusiast
i guess those are the only two.
ok to do infrequently (annually): "lsd" - or whatever it is, probably not lsd, blah blah blah, if it works and is sold on blotter its fine and won't make you go nuts or whatever. opt for a better psychadelic imo. see psych rule at bottom of section
mushrooms - better than acid since you know what they are. rule of thumb is to always do more than you think you want. minimum 1/8oz. see psych rule at bottom of post
dmt - if you somehow have a dmt hookup you don't need to be reading any of this. lasts 10 minutes which leads to tendency to way overdo it, don't do this, my favorite webcomic artist is permanently crazy from exactly that. using a crack pipe is also not the uhhhh most dignifying-feeling thing to do either. it's harder than you think.
mdma - for use at electronic music event or rave. overuse causes brain lesions or something.
coke - wait until you're in your 20s, have maxed out your roth IRA for a couple of years in a row, and havent missed a car payment in a similar timeframe. better still if you've worked a very shitty low paying job and know the value of a dollar. if you still find yourself buying candy you're not ready. too expensive to be worth it to get hooked on. know that you are VERY ANNOYING to anyone who also isn't high. don't fuck around with the guy selling it to you. avoid discussing or thinking about business ideas. you can't afford to make it a habit + kinda turns you into a piece of shit after a while, but at least a very interesting one
ketamine - another sick drug that rules, but save it for a special occasion. don't try and go into the k-hole your first time
rule for psychedelics - you get one good strong trip a year and that's it, make it count, always opt for doing a bit more than a bit less. but don't make it a habit, otherwise you turn into a very stupid very annoying "hippy" style cliché and believe in ghosts, aliens, crap like that.
ok to try once prescription opiates/benzodiazepine (xanax), valium, this kind of shit - worth trying so you can go "holy shit, this stuff is way way way too good to ever use responsibly" and then never do again. especially if you're white. for some reason we just can't handle this shit. if a doctor prescribes it to you, idk, that's your call to make.
ayhuasca - this is just dmt in a different form. do some other psychadelics a number of times before you do this. once you realize the whole "substantial visual hallucinations" thing is made up, its time. do exactly this: -buy root online (legal). receive box of dirt -boil dirt into "tea" (read erowid for exact recipe) -take over-the-counter anti nausea medicine or anything that will give you a stronger stomach -drink tea (its nasty as fuck, get it down quick) -have someone bigger than you keep an eye on you for the next five hours. -have the experience, which is absurdly intense, has no bearing to the real world, etc etc. don't be a bitch and throw up, if you do it'll only last an hour or so. again there is no way to provide a consistent description of the experience except that you will meet god. you only ever need to do this once and never again. trust me
peyote/salvia/etc - try em if you want, you'll never ever want to again afterwords. these are drugs for idiot teenagers too lame to get real drugs. imagine being very very sick from poison and utterly terrified at the same time. No good
whippets/nitrous oxide - just find a dentist that uses it and don't bother creating hundreds of pounds of trash on your floor for this crap that lasts ten seconds. you have to understand the extremely short timeframe coupled with the cost makes zero sense. go to a phish concert parking lot and do some people watching -- you do not want to be these people. only use is as a motivator to get routine dental exam. also if you somehow manage to make it a heavy habit your fucking legs stop working, no shit, but they start working again once you quit.
don't ever do heroin/meth/pcp - is is truly a mystery why you should never do these 🙄
synthetic weed/k2/shit from the gas station - it is so funny that they sell this as "weed that won't pop you on a drug test". its not weed. it is some dubious chemical sprayed on yard waste. smoke it to have a terrible time and go nuts. only buy drugs from legitimate drug dealers!
kratom - anyone's guess as to why this is legal but it's heroin for pussies. its still heroin
dxm/cough syrup - do you ever wonder why it is exclusively teenagers robotripping? it's because it sucks ass. is like a cheesegrater on your brain in terms of health effects with repeated usage. you're better than this king
inhalants - these are at the bottom of the list for a reason. do not huff gas. don't huff paint. do not consume computer duster. not fun + fastest way to make yourself a complete, uh, (word i can't say anymore) and then dead
not listed quaaludes- unavailable due to no longer being manufactured. these ruled apparantly
sincis2c - unavailable due to not existing, i just made this up
amphetamines - cannot provide objective take here. they're my albatross, lifelong (posted 4:55am natch)
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thegoldensundreamer · 3 months
Text
Love At Last
Onyankopon x black!reader
Warnings: exes, use of n word, squirting, fingering (f receiving), eating out (f receiving)
Word Count: 6.2k
He was a little older than me. A junior, and I, a sophomore. In college, you only had two focuses: have fun and study, and truthfully it helped me. No matter what anyone told me I had control to do whatever I wanted in life and didn't want anyone's opinions on how I'd be living it.
Honestly, that's what made my other ex's love me and even some, hate me.  But I mean it wasn't like he was always putting his expectations too high for me. Onyankopon just wanted to see me as my best self. When we broke up and I told him the reason as to why I couldn't do it anymore, it all really didn't make sense. I wanted to tell myself that I knew the reason as to why he was just so terrible but subconsciously I knew I didn't. And it was hard for me these past months. Really hard. I been seeing him on campus like a thousand times and he just keeps getting more beautiful and glowin like the sun.
He's the head of his team now and it never helps me that he didn't ever have any girls he just messed around with. Especially bonding and having a real relationship with his exes. Including me. And Its painful seeing him just living his life and me not hating him for any reason because he is really a great guy. So whenever I see him I make sure to shift my eyes to the complete opposite direction of where his head is at. Or even cover my face with a book or a water bottle to not have that awkward walk past. But I kind of wish he chased after me... and although I know its selfish I'm just as confused as when I left that boy. But I guess we all just have to move on.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"The assignment is still due this Sunday at 11:59 on Blackboard. I don't want any emails, text messages, or conversations next class about an extension. Period."
I honestly think Professor Rodriguez is tweaking now. No excuses? What if someone is sick or something?
The whole class groans as we pack all of our stuff. I mean, it's just a paper so I'm not tripping or anything. I just got to make sure to do it before the Que party this weekend. There's never been a problem before so I don't think I have anything to worry about.
Me and my girls have been planning to go to one of the Que parties we keep infamously hearing about. It's always wild, lit, and memorable till you graduate. All of a sudden when you get that degree they don't exist no more because you don't want no one to know of the hoe tales.
I haven't been to one of their parties yet, but Im excited. I haven't been outside in a while especially since I ended things with Ony. A few kickbacks here and there were going on this past semester for me but that's about it. I like being inside just as much or even more than I like being out.
When I walk down the university building, I put in my headphones ready to blast some Sexyy Red. That woman music got something in it I swear.
"I'm looking for the hoooesssss" I mouth to myself while I nod my head. Shit, I forgot how hard that bass goes. As I bob my head I can't remotely hear the voice behind me trying to catch my attention.
It was Jaden, one of Ony’s teammates, and he's also in Professor Rodriquez class. He gave up calling my name and just let me go.
•••
When I finally left the building and head to my car I instantly switch my music over to the Bluetooth aux and look at my assignment before I pull off. You see... he assigned it to us last Friday and I for real have just been procrastinating till now. I would say my time management is usually really good but its not.
"Ok so I got to just write about 500 words. I could do this tonight no problem."
I put down my phone and start adjusting my rear view mirror only to find light grey clouds of the day turning darker grey. I really hope it don't storm when I'm on the road.
Driving out of the lot and onto the highway, I continue blasting my hoochie playlist. Shrugging at the random pain in my heart I'm feeling, I call one of my girls talking about how much I think this party gon cut all my feelings from Ony and revive the party girl in me.
Im pulling into my apartment complex excited . I haven't been this joyous to go to a party in a while. The mere thought of shaking ass is bringing me serotonin. Just a sweet release of stress. Plus, it's Friday and the party is Saturday night so I'm definitely geeking.
When I stumble up the steps right before the entrance to my residence giddy and jovial, looking for my key, I slightly looked up. The scream in my head is definitely showing me how much I'm not over this feeling in my heart.
I stopped my movement and fought the urge to back step all the way back into my car and hide. I'm not sure why hes here at this time. It's 5:30 which isn't late for real but just a bit confusing enough to make you question why the hell someone is at your door uninvited. Especially since its here. At my apartment. And it's him. With his aura and skin glistening like oil on a hot body.
He was in some black muscle shirt with matching jogger pants. Shyly smiling at me at first but then noticing my expression, he looked down at the state of his body and cringed before looking back in my eyes. Clearly embarrassed. "Sorry you seeing me like this, I just came from practice so I'm still a little sweaty"
I secretly moaned in my head. He looks so good I had to catch my breath and his voice is still captivating up to now. I still can't forget the way he used to t-
I'm getting sidetracked. Let me regain this composure.
"Is there something you need?" I quietly ask. This is no good. The whole point is out of sight out of mind. You know how you want to block somebody on everything and really go out of your way to not see them in person so you won't have to think about them or double back? Well I feel like I'm breaking that right now. It's not my fault sure but the shame still feels the same.
Ony pulls out an object from his pocket. A white, slightly long but thin figure. He looks at it for a moment before looking up at me again and holding it up.
"I came here to give this to you. Im pretty sure it's yours. At least that's what Jaden said."
I squint my eyes in confusion at what he was holding and hurriedly looked through my tote bag to find that I did not have my Apple Pencil for my iPad.
So that's why he's here.
Apple pencils are expensive so I'm not mad. I would've been more upset if I only figured out I dropped it when I got inside and tried to start my paper. But how did he even get it?
He reached his arm out as I began to walk up to him for my pencil. I thanked him for bringing it to me and awkward silence overtook the little rain droplets that noted the thunderstorm about to take place.
Our hands touched ever so slightly as I grabbed my missing pencil. I withdrew immediately and he did the same faintly after. After a few long seconds, he broke the silence.
"Jaden gave it to me at the locker rooms after practice. He said he tried to give it to you after class but couldn't catch up or something so I guess he just wanted me to carry out the deed especially with some paper he mentioned."
I grinned and slightly nodded in understanding, quickly glancing at his eyes before staring at the Apple Pencil. It's strange. He can't really look me in the eye. I mean, I can't either but he's 6'2" so my excuse is good. On top of that, the nonchalance in his tone doesn't sit right with me. It's either he's forcing it or a part of me wants to believe he is just to delude myself that he still cares. It's unfair of me, especially since I probably broke his heart, but it's the real.
"I'll thank Jaden when I see him next class. Thank you for bringing it to me." I quip and walk past him to my door, beginning to find my keys in my bag with the pencil still in hand.
Damn when did I get this shy?
Onys attempt at being nonchalant somewhat was breaking. He stared at the pencil smiling as he spoke and pointed.
"I'm surprised you still have Chowder on there".
I turned my head around, mid-hand in bag. He was referring to the little sticker I had on my ex-missing item. The one that would help me differentiate my pencil from everyone else's so no one would take it. The one he gave me as a funny gift for the love of our mutual favorite childhood show.
I'm surprised he still remembers these little details about me. About us.
"Well it's still my favorite show. I don't think that's ever going to change." I giggle looking back for my keys.
It's hard to do this. To face him. How do people talk to their exes? This isn't even my first but damn. Now my minds all over the place with him and us all over it. All those memories we share. Good and bad.
I stop fiddling in my bag and spoke under my breath with the same thought, caught up in the idea.  "I'm surprised you still remember." I mumbled to myself.
I can feel his presence and his eyes on me, not exactly sure what his actions are. But his voice speaks up with a small sense of fervor in his tone. Something undeniably him. The tone I always craved since it left me.
"Y/n, you can't tell me you don't call to mind how Ive remembered every single thing I've been blessed to learn about you"
I still my hands from roaming once again after I found my keys. At this point, I don't know what's going on. But as I motion my mouth to find what to say a grand lightning bolt flashed down from the sky, hitting somewhere nearby. Thunder that sounded like an earthquake erupted, immediately pouring heavy rain down with it. With that, we instantaneously saw lampposts shut off. All electricity in the area immediately being gone in an instant.
"Ain't no way" I groaned. I can't believe this. I look around at all of the dark areas surrounding the complex except for the emergency lights powered from the generator. Putting my keys in the door, I heavily sigh opening up my residence.
Slowly walking in to the dim natural light from the blinds I turn around to Onyankopon, standing still at the doorstep, and tell him he can come in.
"Are you sure? My car is all good and everything I can still drive."
"In this storm?" I ask raising my eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, "You not gon get nowhere the way this storm going right now. It's fine. Plus, your place is probably out of electricity too."
He nods, "Well thanks, I really appreciate it" He awkwardly steps into the 3 bedroom apartment. My girls usually have class during this time last I checked so we're the only ones here.
I grab some candles to light across my home hoping for some sort of spark to brighten up the place.
Once I withdrew a breath and looked around, the rooms seemed to be lit up enough comfortably outside of the insanely romantic essence it gave off. I stood up from where I was crouched by the living room table where I made eye contact with him sitting up on the couch.
"Soooo could I get you anything?" I awkwardly stand there and he's just sitting... menacingly.
Ugh who am I kidding he looks so geeked out right now.
"It's honestly fine. Once the storm passes I'll be right out forreal you don't have to go through any trouble." He laughs.
With that in mind I obliged and went to my room setting up my laptop and iPad with my now found Apple Pencil. Since the electricity's gone that means I shouldn't have any distractions on focusing on my work.
"Right y/n, focus on the goal. It don't matter that your ex is in the other room. Get on your zoom!" Mumbling to myself  as I type in my username to blackboard to view the rubric.
"What the-"
Shit. Of course blackboard and the wifi is down too if all the electricity is out.
As I groan and leave my room to get a glass of water, I'm getting Ony one too. Seeing him roaming on his phone and placing the glass in front of him on the table I sit on the sofa opposite of him.
He looks up from his phone, "You did not have to do this", he began to grin to himself as he lifted the cup and started to drink.
As I began to speak we both got a notification.
ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS: ELECTRICITY IS DOWN ON CAMPUS AND ON AND OFF CAMPUS HOUSING DUE TO A SEVERE WEATHER STORM. MORE UPDATES WILL COME SOON. CURRENTLY, AN ESTIMATION OF 3 HOURS WILL BE NEEDED TO REPAIR DAMAGES TO ELECTRICAL UNITS.
"Fuck" I groaned.
"You're not gonna be able to finish that paper huh?" He questioned.
"No and it's due Sunday. I was hoping to knock it out today before the weekend really starts. I don't need to procrastinate anymore than I already have."
"Oh trust me I remember." He laughed. "I can help yknow. There's nothing else we can do here."
"On what though? Blackboard is down."
"Not google docs or notes app though." He smiled, "As long as you know what you're supposed to write about you're set."
"But I like looking at the rubric when I write to make sure my grades solidified"
"I'm hearing a lot of excuses misses honors student. If you wanted to do it you would at this point. Plus, my specialty is writing papers so I can definitely help"
I remember oh so well. This reminds me of when I procrastinated on a paper last semester the weekend before it was due just like this one and we stayed up till 3 AM writing it. So many laughs and double shot espressos from that time. His specialty really is writing essays and all sorts of papers. That assignment was 5000 words and we started the Saturday and still got an A.
"Shit, why not. It's only 500 words anyway" I joke.
He smiled and we got to work. The first hour went by like nothing. It felt like old times. 200 words were typed but the only thing holding us back was that I actually need to have proper cited sources. Professor Rodriguez do not play around either so it's been a painstaking amount of time trying to find anything with no internet and a on and off personal hotspot.
As Ony and I sit next to each other working on the paper, he lifts up his glass and it accidentally slipped out of his hands onto the table.
"Ah damn I'm so sorry. Let me-"
"No it's cool." I put down my laptop and got up to get a paper towel. When I sat back down and handed the paper towel to him our hands touched again. That once jovial, funny and somewhat relaxed mood we had was now gone. We're exes. This isn't what exes do. We're not friends.
But shit we were . That was exactly what we were like before we started anything or knew there was something there. Even during our relationship we felt just like this at times too. Where the hell did we go? Why did I let us go?
The awkward touch we had became more intimate as I decided to gently grab his hand. The eye contact he made was confused but willing. It spoke "why haven't you done this all this time while I'm right here?" Or at least that's what I think.
Our hands interlocked letting go of the paper towel at this point. Eye contact on something serious as we ask questions to each other with them. As I began to lean down on the couch, Ony couldn't stop staring between my eyes and my lips. He eventually and quickly took the dive, trying not to lose the moment. Embers burned and flowed through the air as he began to shift from my power to his. He embarked on leaning my back onto the couch rather than his. Hands splayed in my locs and taking small breaks to breathe before going back in.
Small moans escape my mouth as he's working me. Kisses pressed on my lips were coming down my chin... then my neck as he suckled on my skin. His hands roamed my body slowly. One on the side of my stomach nearing my ass and the other beginning to feel my breast under my shirt. At this point, he's starting to get more vocal, groaning and whispering sweet nothings along my body.
"You know how much I've missed you y/n. How much I've missed this pretty face... this pretty body... and this pretty pussy" he hissed one kiss after another. "Is this all ok? If you're not fine with this of course I'll stop. Tell me what you want."
His asking for consent was always so sexy and those words... damn I missed him and this.
I looked at his lust blown eyes as he looked up to mine from my stomach as he briefly stopped from going lower and lower.
"I want you Q. I'm all yours." My composure is definitely done at this point. He's got me right now.
"Don't worry. You know I will always take care of you." He slurred, slowly sliding my bottoms and panties down and kissing my inner thighs before locking them in his arms. It's been a while since I've been in this position and I've missed it since forever ago.
Slow pecks from my thighs came closer and closer to the apex of them. He must could tell how nervous I was since his thumbs gently rubbed where they laid at to comfort me. Im in love with the way they feel on me.
"So as you can see I do have some hair ri-"
He side eyed me. "Y/n I'm a grown ass man. You know I like my peaches with some fuzz on it. Now can I have my dinner please?"
He can get so forward like this it's making me shy. I rolled my eyes and laid my head back. I never thought I'd be in this predicament.
"Good girl. Just stay just like that baby."
He nestled his lips on my bundle, wrapping them on to gently suck at a slow and smooth pace. His rhythm was gradually fastening and shortly, his lips unattached from my clit to lap at the bundle once more flicking his tongue. He remembers. He always remembers what I like.
Beginning to close my legs from the sensation, he parts me once again lapping at my cunny fervently. Like some undying need that he can't let go. As a "punishment" for me not taking it, he inserts a finger and then a second to make me break even more than I already am.
I plead and moan, "Ony, baby, I'm leaking"
I can barely control my body now. My breath getting fainter as I breathe heavy.
"Good. You know that's what I want." He keeps pumping. Squelching ensues as he becomes infatuated with his doing. "Look at that shit. All for me huh" He asks looking at my fucked out face.
I disappointedly moan when his fingers leave me but he swipes my essence from its trail and sucks his fingers while maintaining eye contact with me. I whimper and squeeze at the sight.
I guess he wanted to finish the job though. I tried to reach over to slip my hand in his boxers just for him to grab my wrist and pin both of my hands down to finish what he started.
It's always like a switch in him when he's like this. So different from the sweet Onyankopon from everyday that everyone knows. So nasty. I love it. I miss it.
He mischievously watches me. "You feel this?" I moan as he pumps his fingers back in me. I roll my eyes to the back of my head and he chuckles. "I'm gonna take that as a yes. Let me make you cum, princess."
He lowered his head down again as he continued pumping into me. Licking a stripe up my honey and continuing the mess he was creating previously. Languid strokes of his tongue were hitting me just right and my moans started turning to desperate whimpers.
Building me up for a while, he then dipped his muscle into my pussy and interchanging with his fingers, curling them with each stroke. His other hand left my thigh and his thumb began rubbing my clit. Faster and faster he went I started to find my stomach tensing and the air becoming hard to breathe.
In between heavy pants I slip out "O, stop, I'm gonna make a mess!" my eyes rolling to the back of my head and legs lifting and coming together.
He didnt stop and pinned me down pressing on my lower stomach. My moans became octaves higher and higher. He lifted his head from my cunny, "you gon take it and make a mess all over my face. Don't hold back nothing."
With that, he continued his ministrations. My grip on his hair became as tight as it could as I could feel my voice go weak. My legs began to shake as clear liquid lightly sprayed out onto his face and a white ring began to form on his fingers. My pants were beginning to rapidly slow down as I came down from my high, un loosening the death grip I had on his head.
He came back up kissing my cheek then licking my essence off his face and fingers, "Always taste so good." Proceeding to take a rag from my bedroom to clean me up and carrying me to my bed.
Before we even got the chance to speak about what happened, my eyes fell. A nap took over both of us and hours that felt like minutes rolled by.
His arm around me as we slept on our sides felt  like old times. Like something right that I just ripped away from my body. It's so comfortable.
After a dream I couldn't remember, I wake up in a daze, looking behind me to see him knocked out and his arm still around my waist.
Gently moving it off of me, I slowly get up and walk to the bathroom.
"Shit I might as well take a shower"
To be honest, none of this has settled in my head yet. My ex boyfriend who I'm clearly not over in my bedroom after being nasty on the couch is sleeping on my bed... crazy. Real fanfiction kind of shit.
Pushing the light switch up, I notice the bulb illuminate the room. Thank the Lord almighty. I put on my shower cap and get in. I feel myself let go of a breath I didn't know I had when the hot water hits my skin.
This is insane. I shouldn't be hooking up with my ex. I cut it off for a reason... I think. It's gotta be this way for the both of us so nobody gets hurt.
"Bitchhhh" I think to myself in the shower holding my head.
Leaving the bathroom with my towel on, I see my ex looking over at me from his phone, arm now holding his head up to stare me up  and down in awe.
"It's been a while since I seen this view"
I cut my eyes and stand in front of him on my bed. "Look we need to talk- " and my head turned immediately when I heard the front door of the apartment open. Thankfully, my room doors closed, but my girls walked in the apartment gossiping when they called out my name to have our daily debrief of the day.
I cuss at myself and know they probably see the cups of water, candles, and his shoes at the door as they fell silent. Whispering to themselves with words I couldn't make out,  I eventually hear a knock at my door.
I looked at Ony, mortified with a finger to my lips, then took a deep breath, opening the door so they can only see me still in my bath robe.
"Heyyy" I greeted with the awkwardest get out and don't make this weird smile I know.
"Hey mookie, we just wanted to check on you and see if you're good with the electricity going off and everything earlier." One of them said, clearly peeking inside my bedroom to see who's here, eyes widening that it was him before he could move himself. She gave me a look and I gave her one back like we telepathic or something.
"Girl yknow I'm good, just trying to finish this paper" I say hoping she takes the message that I know she's getting from me right now.
"Yeah I'm sure it's realll hard" She said acting like a real smart ass.
With a few more exchanges they go to their rooms to settle down for the night. After hearing both of their doors close I rush back to my room.
"Yeah, you gotta go" picking up his clothes and pushing them to his chest.
"But-"
"Look, I wish there was a better time to talk, but you have to go. This... is strange. We broke up. There's a reason why this ended. I know it was probably stupid of me to let you stay here during the storm, but this wasnt my intention." Pointing at the both of us.
I picked his arm up before he could get a word out to reason with me, clothes just tussled onto his body. If he sweet talks me again I really might not double back this time.
We get to the door and with the least amount of strength he has, he turns his body towards me and gently grabs my hand before I could open the door placing it back by my side.
"Y/n...why are you letting go of us... again? This still doesn't make sense and you know that."
I still. I remember this feeling... this sense of regret. But just like last time, I can't tell if it's the wrong choice or because I don't want to let go.
In truth, Ony feels... familiar. He'll always feel like a memory and I don't want to get too comfortable in his light of nostalgia. He brought such a level of solace in my life that I never wanted to replace. It was even more so after we became official....I don't want to become stagnant because of it. I have my own dreams, my own endeavors, and my own goals that I want to reach. It would be so easy to be a trophy wife to him... and he'd gladly let me. As a woman, I don't want that to be the tell all be all of my life when I know that I had a life before him. I didn't know if I could escape from it then and I definitely don't know now. That's the real reason why I keep shutting him out and probably why we broke up... but he can't know that.
"Because I know we won't end well. We're two different people Ony and this idea that you can just up and think everything is picture perfect for us has to stop now"
He looks in my eyes with such disappointment, then slight anger as his eyebrows pushed together. He opened his mouth to speak again but thought about it and decided not to, closing his eyes in the process. With a heavy huff from his chest, he looked at my eyes one last time for the night before turning away and leaving the complex.
When I shut the door, My girls came out immediately like paparazzi.
"You were over him huh?" One of them snarled at me. "It don't seem that way to me love. Maybe you shouldn't even go to the party tomorrow."
I looked down at the ground and they both took notice of my state. We all went to my bedroom and I explained everything that happened tonight. Their eyes looked at mine with frustration and awe. I held my head knowing their reaction just like they've been telling me for the past 3 months.
"You are not over that boy y/n"
"I think you're confused"
And they're right. I am. But I tell them the same thing I told them every time.
"But when he makes it to the league, what am I going to do? Wag my tail like a dog after him and have niggas tell me that I want his money or that I don't have half his talent for anything like them bitches was saying when we were together? And what if he cheats? He gon have hella girls at his disposable and I'll be feeling stupid like  "I really wasted my time on this nigga". Y'all know how much I love Ony and I was just getting over him too. This is for the best for me right now y'all know that"
They gave each other a look and got up to hug me.
"Whatever decision you choose to make girl you know we got you. Just remember to listen to your heart sometimes"
With that, we said our little goodbyes and retired for the night. Ony on my mind, I went to bed.
Waking up, he is still on my mind. Getting my laptop, I tried to continue the paper but had no will power to do so. The whole morning and afternoon felt like that... no volition and all a blur. Wasting away in my bed after the three different times my girls checked up on me throughout the day I just can't escape him. It doesn't help having the daydream engrained of what could've been present with our past. In that same thought, I hear a buzz on my phone, too in tune with the delusional reaction thinking it could be him.
I look at it to see the ticket for the party tonight that one of my girls sent. I groan and get up, finally deciding to start my day and also prepare myself for tonight.
Hype hoochie music is playing on my speaker and I hear Looking For the Hoes again. I'm thinking of how good everything was before all that happened yesterday. Do I even regret it? Am I blocking my blessings?
I can't let a man distract me from my life though. There's a life before and after him and I have to remind myself of that.
Finally finished with my look and it finally being an hour after the party started, me and my girls head out for the wild night we been planning for months.
What I didn't know was that the line would feel like 3 miles long and realizing we need our ID when we're finally 5 feet before the security. Why are parties this complicated? I don't know. But luckily we all at least have pictures of our ID and got in.
When we step foot into the party, the first thing we see is purple lights illuminating the entire venue. People are scattered everywhere and in every other corner we see the Ques barking and hopping to their stroll.
"Lawd have mercy" one of my homegirls say in love with the ques. Me and the other laugh and roll our eyes.
After some time just standing, we decided to find a small table and sit down with our small get ups. Our drinks from the pregame were starting to kick in after 10 minutes and we were laughing our ass off drunk when we hear "Girl the way you move it got me in a trance-", and that was it. All of us pulled each other to the dance floor and start to turn up. I'm throwing ass on my home girl and catching from the other.
I needed this. Seriously. I forgot how fun it is to be outside in the streets. Seconds later, we hear a scream and laugh from a girl and gasp from the crowd. One of the Ques picked up a girl and started acting like he was eating her out.
We all looked at each other with our jaws dropped. Ain't no wayyyyy. They were not lying bout it getting wild.
Right behind where I see the spotlight shining, about 30 feet away, I saw a face I didn't think I'd see at all. Just as his eyes set in on the scene before him he also saw my eyes and we made eye contact for a brief second.
I turned my body so fast that I almost knocked my home girl over. In the middle of her fussing me out she asked what happened. Naturally, I told her that Ony is at the party.
"Why is a nigga at a Que party is the real question though?"
"Girl unimportant can we please move somewhere else"
We all move to a separate section of the party venue. This can not happen. I'm drunk and I been dancing? I can not see or be around that man right now.
Before I could even get the nightmare out my head, I hear a "Y/n" near my head. I turn around mouth slightly agape to see him once again. Even finer in his put together party get up than his athlete clothes from yesterday. My mind all caught up in him just like last time I'm in a blur of what he's actually saying to me.
"Y/n, why are you here right now?" He whispers yells in my ear from the loud music blasting from the speakers.
I look to my left and right and my homegirls dashed off like the road runner... traitors.
Looking at him once again, eyes low from the drink in my system I ask, "Ony, why would it matter to you? I'm not your girl and you not my man. We single. The real question is why you're at a Que party." Remembering what my homegirl had said to bite back at him.
He fixes his face, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek looking at me clearly frustrated. Just looking at his face he can't leave me alone. Sorry that's just drunk me talking I don't know whats on his mind.
"Y/n, why the hell you been drinking so much? Don't you got a paper to finish?"
"Ony you are not my daddy get up out my face!" I yell at him. "I'm out here having fun with my girls trying to get over YOUR ASS so why can't you just mind yo business!" Oops. My eyes widened, that last part wasn't supposed to come out. Fuck.
Shit, how did he react to that?
Without time for me to look up and see his face or even hear him utter a word, he has my hand in his and leading me somewhere and fast. I'm trying to keep up but it's kind of hard to have good foot and direction coordination in a party like this and off my ass.
With all of the movement feeling like a blur, I found both of us outside of the party venue from some back door. It's slightly raining by the building and the night sky showed a bright orange street light that was our only light source.
He takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulders to warm me. It's a bit cold. What a gentleman.
"Y/n ... what did you say?"
He stares directly in my eyes with a sense of fervency and hope. One that I can't deny now.
Part 2?
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Authors Note: Hi y'all! I haven’t written fanfic in soooo long but never stopped reading lmao. I loveeee this one so much. It’s Literally the best fic ive done period thus far. I’m trying to think if I should start writing again fr esp for my fictional anime men.
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lostgirlmuseum · 6 months
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Pulse 💗
Summary: Bucky can hear your heartbeat through the wall, and he can tell everything isn’t alright.
Pairing: Bucky x gn!Reader
Words: 600 (exactly 600, holy moly)
Warnings: None really, just mentions of anxiety and adhd. Wrote this within an hour, sorry if its bad
A/N: Self indulgent fic alert! This goes out to all my peeps who struggle with ADHD/anxiety. It sucks, but hang in there!
Divider credit: @saradika
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Come in,” you called, not looking up from the papers on your desk.
A brief second passed, and the door creaked open. A cautious Bucky peeked his head in.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked.
You suddenly became aware of your leg bouncing 70 miles an hour, and forced yourself to stop. 
“Yes, why?” You replied, ignoring the urge to get up and walk around.
“Well, I—” he hesitated, and brought his hand to rub the back of his neck, “I was passing by and I heard your heartbeat going really fast—super hearing and all that,” he awkwardly chuckled.
“120,” you stated, glancing at your watch.
“What?”
“My heart rate is 120 right now.”
“That’s pretty high for just sitting,” he responded, having a hard time hiding his concern.
“Well, y’know, anxiety,” you breathily laughed, but it wasn’t that funny.
“What are you anxious about? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Nothing.” You sighed, lowering your pen and facing him. At this point he was now in your room, perched in front of your door.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“Seriously, I’m kinda freaking out over nothing right now.”
“C’mon, you’re always telling me I’m valid for having concerns, you are too.”
“No, I mean there is literally no singular thing I’m anxious about right now—it’s just physical anxiety, the general feeling that I’m going crazy, or dying, I don’t know, both I guess. That sounds so dramatic. I really am fine. I mean, I’m not fine, but I am, yeah?” You rambled on and on, and cursed yourself when you noticed your leg had started bouncing again.
“I don’t think you’re okay, do you want me to bring you to Dr. Cho?”
“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t think there’s much she can do. The worst of this should pass in thirty minutes anyway, it’s just my meds.”
“Oh.” 
You could tell Bucky wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure if it was polite.
“I have ADD. ADHD, whatever you want to call it. So I take medicine so I can focus on certain tasks, like these reports. And it does help me focus, but it’s also a stimulant, so it also gives me a lot of anxiety, which is totally awesome!” You scoffed.
“Why do you keep stopping your leg from bouncing?”
“I don’t know, I don’t want to annoy you.”
“If bouncing your leg makes you feel better, it doesn’t bother me.”
“I feel like I’m embarrassing myself,” you whined. 
Beep.
You looked at your watch.
“Oh, look at that, 126!”
“Do you—would…would a hug be something that would help you? Calm you down?” He offered, casually putting his arms out for emphasis.
“Sure, Bucky,” you smiled, and stood up to meet him halfway. You knew it wouldn’t fix it, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.
Bucky wrapped you in a big embrace, and you were shocked by how warm and teddy-like it was. You gave a small sigh, and rested your face in his neck, knowing you weren’t going to be the first to let go.
He held onto you for longer than you expected, just calmly swaying together in your room. 
To your dismay, he eventually let go of you. You were about to thank him and return to your work, but he gently grabbed your wrist and brought your watch to his sight. 
“107. Good, but I think we can do better than that,” he sweetly smiled, and wrapped you back up into his arms. 
“It might take a while.” You mumbled into his shirt.
“As long as it takes.” He cooed.
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A/N: Should be either A) studying for a history exam I have tmw, or B) writing my stupid essay that the rough draft is due tmw, but I wrote this instead bc I’m procrastinating  HELP ME
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mkkk12345 · 1 month
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Divus Crewel x Wife Reader How they met
Sorry this took so long to write, I was once again procrastinating lol Feel free to request situations (I write slowly and I’ll be pretty busy for the next while sadly, but please do request if you would like to! I'll do anyone in twst for the most part with your usual restrictions) (side note I got the names for the dogs from the 101 Dalmatians)
1.2K words
------
Oh how Crewel would come to regret what he had done that day, he really should have seen it coming. “Hey! Professor Crewel, tell us how you met your wife!”
This had all started when Crowley had approached him with a challenge. “If you manage to raise the class average of the first years to let's say~ 80 percent? I'll give you a raise! Am I not so incredibly generous? Hahahhahaaaa” He cawed to himself as Crewel walked away absolutely done with the crow mans shenanigans
Rolling his eyes he responds “I guess there is no harm in attempting it”
As an encouragement to study harder he had told his students that if they were able to raise the class average to 80 percent by the next semester he would allow them to ask one question about his personal life. Of course all of the students had jumped at the chance to glance into the oh so mysterious and strict teachers personal life.
And that is why we are here now.
Professor Divus Crewel, now being forced to tell the oh so embarrassing story of how he had met his lovely wife.
“Well it's not the worst question you lot could have asked. I would rather not share this story but if I must I will do so…”
—----
Divus was around 17 when he first met Y/N It was a bright and sunny day, the weather was perfect and it just so happened to be a long weekend, a rare opportunity to visit home in the Queendom of Roses.
It was also a perfect day to take his beloved pet dalmatian Perdita for a nice long walk in the nearby park for some long deserved bonding time.
When Crewel was home from NRC he would often take Perdita to the park. Whether it was actual exercise or for some relaxing time outside to sketch new fashion designs, Perdita never really minded. But today was different, the minute the pair stepped out of the door the spotted dog went bolting in the direction of the park. “Hey! Slow down girl, why on earth are you in such a rush today?!” he said, trying to keep all his sketching supplies from falling to the ground.
Luckily for young Divus, the dalmatian did eventually slow down once they reached the park. “You act as if no one has been bringing you to the park since I left for school.” he said exasperated from the impromptu run.
Soon after catching his breath Divus and his companion walked over to a nearby bench so the boy could start sketching, but right as he put his sketching equipment down there was another sudden tug on the lead and once again they were off “hey! Slow down! What has gotten into you toda-” CRASH he had been cut off suddenly, crashing into another person as Perdita and what seemed to be another dalmatian were running circles around the two very effectively tying the two together.
When he finally pried his eyes away from the dogs he finally realized the full situation he was in, tied up with a very beautiful young lady. “Oh my god I'm so sorry he doesn't usually act like this, Pongo would you stop that already?”
“Don't worry it was neither of our faults really, I guess these two have taken quite the interest in one another” he said as he pulled his arm out of the leashes to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck a blush forming on his face as he looked at a very interesting tree behind her.
“They've actually been like this for weeks!” she laughed as she finally met his eyes, “Oh you must be Divus! Your mother talks about you very often.” He was surprised, not only was this girl absolutely stunning but she already knew him. Although he would never admit it, he practically fell in love with her right then and there, the way she beamed with joy, the slight blush on her cheeks, her laugh even in the strangest of situations.
In an attempt to calm himself he averted his gaze again and began to untie him and his new developing crush from the entanglement of leashes they were trapped in “Oh you must have met mother while she was walking Perdita I do hope she didn't tell you anything embarrassing” a strained smirk appeared on his face, knowing how his mother liked to tell the most embarrassing stories of his childhood.
“Well I cant say she didn't say anything” she laughed softly again drawing Divus’s attention for a moment the blush on his face growing ever brighter.
Snapping out of his short trance he asked “Might I ask for your name then since you already know mine?” With blush remaining on the tips of ears he held out his hand like a gentleman, both with the intention to give her, her dogs leash back but also to lead her over to a bench so they could hopefully continue their conversation.
“Oh my apologies how rude of me, My name is Y/N nice to finally meet you.” She bashfully took both the leash and his hand, walking over to the bench.
“The pleasure is mine”
—-
“And whilst that was all happening I looked over to our dogs, only to find them looking at each other with what seemed to be a grin on their faces like they planned that all out.” Crewel sighed as he recalled how proud those little devils looked. “After quite a long conversation that ended up in me never actually starting a new sketch, we traded contact information and left the park.” he looked up at his students now regretting all his life decisions.
“And that is how I met my wife, now it seems like class is over, please leave quickly so I can question why I ever became a teacher in the first place.”
“But prof how did you ask her out?” “Yeah yeah! Who was the first one to confess!” “How did you propose????”
Frustrated crewel quickly answered “If I recall correctly you were all only given the privilege of asking one question, now if you don't stop pestering me I will be giving you even more homework.” a completely very unnoticable blush began to form on his face.
“Sorry sir!” Everyone shouted in unison, but on their way out the students did not miss the slightest hint of red that dusted their professor's cheeks as he pretended to sort through papers.
Once everyone had left and silence had fallen through the classroom a laughter could be heard coming from the Professors phone. “Awwwww darling, you retell that story so fondly~” Crewel sighed as he finally looked over at his phone
“I honestly can not believe I let you talk me into letting you listen to that.” he said with a hand firmly planted on his face covering any sign of pink that appeared.
“Consider it as repaying me for when I dropped those papers off for you. Now hurry home our two rascals of dogs are looking at me like I should thank them for getting us together.” she laughed nervously
“Yes yes honey see you soon” ending the call with a small smirk as he muttered “I should buy some more dog treats on the way back.”
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marvelavengerspovs1 · 1 month
Text
Feel Better
Pairing: Bucky x F!reader
Warnings: No warnings, just fluff!
Length: 674
Summary: Bucky takes care of you while you’re sick.
A/N: I am currently sick so I decided to write a cute little post to make me feel better (and so I can procrastinate on my calc homework)
I do not give consent for my work to be translated, copied, or sold!
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You felt fine a day ago. Maybe your throat was a little scratchy and you sneezed maybe once or twice but you felt completely fine. But Bucky knew better.
The scratchy throat soon turned into a sore throat and the sneeze turned into a coughing fit and a low fever.
“Bucky, I’m fine!” You push your boyfriend’s hand away from your shoulder and try to get out of bed.
“Doll, you need to rest.” You give up and let Bucky gently tuck you into bed.
“Bucky, It’s probably just allergies.”
“Doll, you’re burning up and all you want is soup. It’s not allergies.” You sigh and watch as he goes into the bathroom.
You hear him turn on the bathtub and fill it with warm water and some Epsom salt. He goes into your side of the dresser and gets out a clean pair of black sweatpants, a pair of underwear, and his red henley that you stole.
“Really, Doll?” Bucky turns to you with a smirk.
“It’s a comfy shirt and it smells like you.” You shrug.
Bucky lets out a laugh and brings the clothes into the bathroom. He grabs one of your favorite candles and lights it before turning off the bathroom lights. He goes to your side of the bed and sits next to you, gently stroking the side of your face.
“Come on, Doll. This will make you feel better, and I’ll make you a nice bowl of canned soup and some ginger tea.” You laugh at his comment about soup but start coughing.
“Bucky, just go stay with Steve. I don’t want to get you sick!” Bucky looks at you before kissing your lips.
“Well, I just kissed you so now I guess I’m sick.” You gasp before weakly punching his arm.
Bucky’s face scrunches and he holds his arm. “OW! What the fuck Doll?”
“Why did you do that, I’m sick! I don’t want to take care of your whiny ass!”
Bucky smiles down at you and kisses you again. “Doll, I’m a super soldier. You don’t need to worry about me.”
You look up at him before grabbing his hand. “I’m sorry for punching your arm.”
Bucky kisses the tip of your nose before getting up and carrying you bridal style to the bathroom. “It’s ok, Doll. Now let’s get you in the bath.”
Bucky gently puts you on your feet and helps you undress. He peppers kisses all over your body, saying how sorry he is that you’re sick. He gently takes your hand and helps you get into the tub, making sure that you’re comfortable.
“Ok, Doll. I’m going to make your tea and soup, I’ll be back with a glass of water.”
You grab his hand before he can leave and kiss his knuckles. “Thank you, baby.”
He kisses your forehead with a smile. “Anything for you.” And Bucky leaves the bathroom, leaving the door open in case you needed him.
You relax into the bathtub and close your eyes. You could feel your muscles relax as you let yourself be. However, the chills start to come and soon you’re shivering. You decide to sit in the bath for a few minutes before getting out to get dressed, you wanted to get all of the “sick” off of you.
Bucky comes in with a glass of ice cold water. “Doll, you’re shivering!”
He quickly puts the water on the counter before rushing to you. He helps you get out of the tub and gently dries you before helping you in your clothes.
“Can you get me some medicine?” You ask, your teeth chattering.
“I already put it on your bedside table with your soup and tea.” Bucky quickly picks you up to tuck you into bed.
“You don’t have to do all this Buck, I can handle getting into bed myself.” You tell him as he runs to get the water he left in the bathroom.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m doing what I want to do and that’s taking care of you.”
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