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not-poignant · 1 year

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im finally sick of my brain being shitty enough to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, but in the meantime i thought i might ask you this: in your wonderful answer to my ask re writer's block you mentioned burnout, which im pretty sure is whats happening to me. i dont want to ask you to give me a long answer if you dont have the energy for it, but i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. its been head empty hours over here 24/7 for months, lol, i miss creating

Helloooo,

I actually have written about burnout quite a bit because I've gone through burnout er, quite a bit... In fact I'm going through it again right now.

I have written a fairly long post about it in the past, so that's there if you want to read it.

I've had different kinds of burnout. I've had 'I couldn't write for years' burnout (literally, after university I just couldn't write anything for years and just assumed it was dead and gone because I didn't want to do it either), I've had burnout that's lasted months (even while like...writing as I am now), and so on.

A lot of dealing with burnout is just...resting more. Taking the pressure off yourself more. Grieving that you can't create right now without guilt-tripping yourself for it, a sort of 'I mourn that I can't do it, but there's nothing wrong with me and I am not failing because I can't do it. I need rest and care.' You can try little writer's block tricks here and there when you want to prod again. You can try other kinds of creativity. I can't write like I used to write, so I tried fanfiction. I can't write like I used to write fanfiction, which is why I've never written another Game Theory, because I just...don't want to write another story like that right now (I mean specifically all the sex every chapter, not the politics lmao). I've been feeling an urge to write poetry lately.

For you, through burnout, low-stakes creativity may help. Stuff that can be automatic (cross-stitch kits, where you're just doing someone else's pattern and don't need to really think about it beyond the stitching), colouring books. Or stuff that's low-stakes for you. For me that's often poetry. For you it might be something else.

I also think of getting through burnout where I can't create anything as needing to 'refill the well.' I catch up on shows I've been missing (writing as much as I do actually gives me no time for reading / watching media), I read books, I watch movies, I listen to new music and comfort music, etc. If my well is empty, rest will partially fill it, but so will inspiration. Watching Studio Ghibli for example almost always makes me think 'I want to write the way this makes me feel' - even if I don't write it, that little urge is like, a pulse or spark of alive-ness that gives the well a drop more inspiration for when I'm ready to write again.

It's very different for everyone though. It's important to address the basics - sleep, medications, quality of life, hydration, being well-fed, health (as much as health is possible) etc. If you're anxious and have insomnia and skip meals and forget to drink water etc. then it's back to square one with just...doing your best there. If that's mostly covered, then burnout is often just about meaningfully resting your mind.

I'd also add that there's different kinds of rest. Physical rest (sleeping / stretching), sensory rest (unplugging from screens and social media and overstimulation), emotional rest (time and space to express your feelings), spiritual rest (connecting with something greater than yourself - going into nature, community, giving, meditation etc.), mental rest (breaks, journalling), creative rest (like the cross-stitch and stuff I mentioned above) and social rest (spending relaxing time with people who love you as you are now).

So it's also worth looking at maybe... you're only focusing on one or two kinds of rest right now. Sometimes burnout requires that you address more of them. <333

There's no easy way through, because rest is the easiest way through, and rest is very hard (and not always possible to the degree we need it) for all of us in this day and age. Be gentle with yourself. I wasn't going to write a post as long as this but actually as someone who needs to hear these things myself right now, maybe you might need to hear some of them as well.

The main thing is burnout doesn't last forever, it's cyclical, it's not like chronic fatigue, or other chronic illnesses. Even people with chronic fatigue (like me!) can experience burnout cycles. So this will pass! You may not feel like writing again in the same way, and that's okay, whatever new version of you evolves out of your current exhaustion, I hope you enjoy that version of yourself, and learn to care for and show compassion to the current version of your tired self as well <3

#asks and answers #burnout #creative burnout #pia on writing #look burnout is just really hard actually #there's no easy answers #like writer's block is hard but writer's block isn't hard like burnout is #because often in that exhaustion #we don't have the energy to care for ourselves properly #so do what you can #when you can #and be gentle with yourself

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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Dear Quil, it's June. One of my friends has a really low self esteem and often hates herself and calls herself garbage. The thing is, she's actually really talented and clever and just well so brilliant that sometimes I wish I could be like her. But as hard as I try (I've been trying for months now) I can't get her to see that. You're good at this stuff, so what do you think I should do? How can I help my best friend?

Hey June! It's very kind of you to want to help your friend, but know that a big part of what she's going through is going to take a mental shift on her behalf--that's not to say you shouldn't try to help! Just that if you do everything you can and nothing helps, it doesn't mean that you didn't do enough or failed; it's not on you.

That being said, I have some ideas which I'll put under the cut that might help

I think something that might be beneficial to your friend is baby steps towards a more positive self-perception. If every time she calls herself trash it's countered with something like "no you're not! you're amazing!" it's not going to stick. Being garbage and being amazing are miles apart from each other, so trying to immediately replace one with the other is going to be dissonant and hard to accept.

There are two approaches to baby steps that I've found to be helpful: steadily working up to positive thoughts and complete extremes from the very beginning. Those sound contradictory but let me explain.

I said that going from garbage to amazing is hard because it's so different, so for a steady build up instead go from garbage to recycling. A small step up at a time. You could help her identify and point out the smaller things about her that are positive. Maybe she doesn't think she's the smartest person ever, but she's always so helpful when you need help spelling something. Maybe she doesn't think she's good enough at something, but she draws the neatest doodles on her papers. It's about finding the small things to start counteracting the negative thoughts, gradually finding bigger and bigger things.

The other is basically the exact opposite but also works. Go to the extremes, so extreme that it can't possibly be true but in a joking manner. Reward the smallest things with extreme compliments Things like saying "I'm the most graceful person to exist ever in all time" right after spilling water all over yourself. I put it in first person, but you can also give these kinds of compliments. Like when my dad was helping hammer a few nails in my bookshelf, he set a couple of the nails upside down first and I told him "that's exactly how you do that, you're a natural!" Because the compliments contradict what is happening it removes the awkwardness of trying to accept it but not wanting to because you know it's not accurate. But it gets them used to positive words used to describe them, and from there instead of building up, it starts to build down. Maybe she's not the most graceful person in the world, but you know what? She is light on her feet. When you go to the extremes, the reality doesn't seem as far fetched.

So that's the background or approach I think could help, but then comes the question of what you can do to put that in motion and be there for your friend. I think expressing to your friend how it makes you feel to see her talk about herself the way she does could be a good starting point. Ask her why she talks about herself the way she does, why she indulges those thoughts. That could be a good place to segue into changing thought patterns. All this sounds serious, which it is, but if you can find a way to kinda bring it up more naturally and light-hearted, go for it! There's no way to ensure that would happen, so I'm focusing more on the bones of the conversation that you can build on. The one stipulation I'd add to that is that if you can't find a good place to slip into that conversation after a while, don't keep waiting. Sometimes you'll find a good time, sometimes you gotta go for it and make the time.

You can use that conversation to start approaching the topic of changing something, nothing big, nothing major. Just baby steps--you could also make it into something you're both doing! You could express that you want to start challenging your own negative thoughts and ask her to do it with you for emotional support, that way you can both be there for each other. To be clear I'm not saying lie and coerce her into participating, just that sometimes its easier to do with a friend! Then it's not all about her and less uncomfortable, so it might make her more open to changing her thoughts.

The last thing I'd say is patience! When helping someone or yourself, patience is super super important. It is a process and it takes time. There are going to be setbacks. There are going to be days where you just want to shake some sense into her to get her to see how incredible she is. But you can't do that and you have to be consistent, you have to be patient. Think things through before you speak when you're struggling. Changing thoughts is a lot of repetition and kindness and patience and repetition. Things going slow doesn't mean it's not working. Being clear and rational and patient will be invaluable to the both of you.

This is the kind of approach I'd try to take in your situation. Of course you're welcome to completely ignore me or alter things to better fit your/your friends' needs. But essentially it all boils down to kindness, patience, and open communication. I wish I could be more specific, but everyone reacts to things differently so I think you'd better gauge how your friend would react than I would, and you can take what I've said and piece together which direction would work best for what you want.

Of course if anything is unclear or you'd like to ask further, please feel free to do so! I put a fair number of words here but I can also expand on anything to the best of my abilities if needed. I hope some of this is helpful and you can help your friend <33

#quil's queries #june nonsie #i'm very proud that you're trying to put the effort in to help your friend #that's a wonderful thing to do and even if things don't work out it's clear how much you care about her #which is invaluable #negative thoughts can be really tough to help out with so please hae patience with yourself as well #everything's a process but it's worth it #i hope you're doing well!!

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bearpillowmonster · 2 years

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Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door Review

I've never played a Paper Mario game until now. When I was a kid, they had it on display at KMart and you could play it, I thought it was really cool but I never played the whole thing none the less, I had a lot more on my plate. By the time I was interested in buying it, it was already hiked up in price and Nintendo being Nintendo, never ported it or put it on the eshop. I was hoping that for the 20th anniversary, they would come out with a collection of the first 3 games kind of like they did with Mario 3D All Stars but that day never came and it probably won't ever come. I wanted to start with this one specifically because I heard it was the best one and if not then second best plus when I see the other games, I see a similar sort of style or pattern that I think would be a genuine experience no matter which game you started with but may potentially get derivative afterwards so if I was to pick only one out of the series, it'd be this one. I will go and try to visit the other games, it just may be hard for reasons I've already stated.

So here we are. FINALLY.

First thing I have to say is that it has personality, I feel like that was a given though. There's an audience while you're fighting which I could gush about just that for minutes on end but just the overall characters, lore, and world is very fun, it's like if you gave Mario more layering when I already have that initial interest just from playing the platformers. There's a dedicated button to have someone in your party just tell you what things are "Oh that's Goomfrey, he thinks he's gonna hit it big but we all know he's not." and stuff like that. Goombella can get a bit annoying that way at times but it's well within tolerance.

At the beginning there's a path blocked off to you by a toad and the way she stops you is she says "Freeze! I'm looking for my contact lenses." so if you move then you automatically break them. There's an in game reason not to let you pass, I can respect that and even if you do break the lenses then she stays there in spite "well I'll block you until you buy me another pair." and it's committed. You go to the shop next door and the clerk says "We're fresh out of contact lenses, we'll have to special order those if you can just wait a few days."

It feels like a good old classic Mario fanfiction but even if you're not into it at the beginning, I'd give it until after Hooktail because I found that the plot itself of "getting the crystal stars and save the princess" storyline is kind of a cliché but once you start getting accustomed to everything else around it, it sells itself a bit better.

Playing it on Dolphin allows me to add on the HD texture pack which looks gorgeous, it also enables widescreen which can be both a blessing and a curse because it really shows you how windowed the game was on the GC and makes me wonder what other games have been limited to. Some scenes are only partially mapped out to fit the widescreen, so you can turn it off if it becomes too much of a burden seeing things load in and green screens pop in. That might actually be part of the reason they didn't remaster it, despite the need because of aspect ratio and the amount of work it'd take to uprez.

I won't say a lot about the gameplay but I feel like it tries to engage you with its combat which is good for someone that doesn't really care for turn based gameplay. The Punis (that could've turned out badly) are a good idea at first glance but man are they annoying to make follow you around. I actually had one softlock me because it got stuck on the other end of the bubble bath and it wasn't affected by the stone so it couldn't be blown, luckily I had an older save. So really I feel like each of this game's chapters can be different in quality, some I liked, some I didn't, so the adventure aspect seemed a bit choppy to me but other than that, good game.

By the way, this is Duna the Yosh. He likes oranges.

#paper mario #ttyd #paper mario ttyd #thousand year door #the thousand year door #review #video game #game review

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randomshyperson · 3 years

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Left Behind - Chapter 8 - Fine Line

Gif was made by my friend @abimess

Summary: The one where you lived in the apartment under the Maximoff family in Sokovia, or, your journey as a Sokovian civilian to Avenger.

Warnings: (+16) Violence, fighting, cursing, civil war environments, abuse of power, assault, torture, underage kissing, psychological torture, substance use, mention of assault/fighting of children, smut, kissing, teasing, insinuation of sexual and moral harassment, verbal offenses.

Words: 4.183K

A/N> I have no idea. Good reading.

All Works Masterlist || Read on AO3 || Series Masterlist

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Chapter 8 - Fine Line

As soon as the jet landed on the compound, things started to change.

Nick Fury was waiting for the Avengers at the entrance, and you exchanged a look with Natasha as you walked alongside everyone.

"I would like the twins to attend this meeting." Nick asks as soon as Steve leads the team into the office. You sit down next to Bucky on the couch in the common room, and he looks at you, as if wondering if you were going to contradict the other man, but you are looking at the Maximoffs.

Wanda and Pietro nod in understanding, and you try to give a reassuring smile when the girl looks at you, but it doesn't seem to help much as she just looks away and walks inside with her brother.

"What do you think they're talking about?" You ask a few minutes after you and Bucky are left alone. The winter soldier sighs lightly.

"Ultron, of course." He says. "Nick will want to know everything the twins have on him since they were working together. And I think some legal questions about them being here, like we did with you."

"Do you think they will want to become Avengers?" You ask a moment later, twiddling your fingers anxiously. Bucky gives a little smile.

"Depends on how much Tony talks."

You laugh, leaning back against the armchair.

"Maybe that will take a while, wanna eat something?" Bucky asks next, and you glance at the meeting room door before muttering, "Sure."

You and Bucky stand up toward the kitchen counter and he reaches into the cupboards, pulling out some ingredients as you prop your elbow on the counter.

"I'm going to make my secret recipe." He comments with a smile, taking two plates and placing them on the wood. "Grab some cheese for us?"

"Sure." You reply as you walk over to the refrigerator.

For the next few minutes, you watch Bucky prepare what resembles a cheese sandwich, but which he calls the Barnes secret recipe, but which is only different about the tomato and the fact that he heats the bread with oregano.

"Are you sure about that?" You ask as you watch him put on even more oregano. Bucky laughs lightly and then closes the bread, handing you one piece and taking the other.

"Come on, tell me what you think." He asks and you grimace uncertainly still biting into it. It is surprisingly good tasting, but deciding to tease him, you don't smile and the man looks at you wide-eyed.

"Dammit, pal, I don't think that turned out so good." You start and he takes a quick bite of the sandwich, and realizing you were joking, he nudges you lightly as he chews, making you laugh.

"Idiot." He grumbles but ends up laughing too.

You are in the middle of laughing when the meeting ends. Distracted by the interaction, you don't see the Avengers leaving the room, much less notice the way Wanda quickly catches the scene of you and Bucky laughing, and misinterprets it all.

"Barnes' secret recipe? Do you still have any for me?" Steve asks as he approaches, and you look at the Avengers who have entered the kitchen, scanning around for Wanda, but she is looking at the floor.

"I'll make one for you." Bucky says as the captain sits down on one of the stools. "Are you going to tell us what happened in there?"

Steve smiles, propping his elbow on the potty.

"For the current time, you guys are looking at the new two members of the Avengers." He counters and you widen your eyes, looking immediately at the twins. Pietro matches your excitement, but all you get from Wanda is a quick, almost annoyed look.

You leave your unfinished sandwich on your plate, and thank Bucky before walking over to the twins.

"Can we talk?" You ask them half-heartedly.

"Of c-

"Are you sure you're not busy?" Wanda interrupts her brother halfway through, crossing her arms. You frown in confusion, but Natasha approaches you.

"Why don't you show them the compound, Y/N?" She suggests with a smile. "They're going to be your door-mates too."

"Okay." You agree and exchange a look with Pietro before waving the direction where they should follow you.

It takes a few minutes to show them around, but you ensured that if they ever got lost, all they had to do was call out "Jarvis" who was already restored to the compound, plus there were maps in every corridor.

And then you led them to the hallway of rooms, and Pietro was the first door.

"I guess that's you." You say, and Pietro takes out the magnetic key he must have gotten from Fury in the briefing room to open the door.

You let the twins in first, and then follow them with your hands in your pockets, smiling at the impressed hiss Pietro gives.

"I know, it's fancy." You comment and he gives a short laugh, looking around.

"I never thought I'd be under the same roof as Tony Stark." He speaks and you bite the inside of your cheek, looking away to the floor.

"Yeah, me neither."

Have a moment of silence as they look around until Wanda, who is standing with her arms crossed and beside her brother, looks at you.

"Did you talk to him?" She asks. "About... Sokovia?"

You sigh lightly.

"I kind of did." You say. "Tony is... difficult. There' s not much to say about it if you ask me. I learned about how he had no idea that Stark Industries bankrolled the war, because he was busy spending his own fortune."

"Great guy." Pietro mutters and you give a weak little smile.

"Yeah, I know." You continue. "I'm sorry about that. I know you guys always wanted to find him and make him pay, but he didn't even know about the whole thing."

You shift the weight of your feet, and then sigh. "I know that doesn't change anything, but he apologized. And then he made me a suit, and let me stay here."

"You're right, it doesn't change or fix anything." Wanda retorts, but her gaze softens, "But, it's a start."

"And now we promise to help defeat Ultron." Pietro adds and you shake your head.

"What did Nick Fury say to convince you guys?" You ask with mild amusement and Pietro laughs, exchanging a quick glance with his sister.

"Your name." Wanda replies and you stop laughing because you feel your heart race, and your face heat up at the intensity of her gaze. Pietro seems to find the whole interaction amusing.

"W-what?"

"It doesn't matter. Can I see my room now?" Wanda asks quickly, already walking away to leave. You exchange a quick glance with Pietro, who just shrugs and then follows Wanda down the hall.

"Is this the one?" she asks as she stops next door and you shake your head.

"No, I'm in the middle." You clarify. "Yours is next."

She gives a smile as she looks at your door.

"I've never been in a room that was yours."

"That's because I've never had a room of my own before." You comment with a chuckle. "Wanna take a look?"

Wanda glances at you and then nods. You move closer to open the door, and try to ignore the way your heart races and your hands tremble because Wanda doesn't move aside and you have to lean in to open the lock.

She walks in as soon as the door opens, and you follow her in silence, trying not to look so affected.

"I think I just have the stuff the Avengers gave me here." You explain as you watch Wanda look around. "Not that I had anything in Sokovia."

Most of the rooms in the tower had a pattern of furnishings, and colors. As they became more comfortable, the team members would add their own personality to the room. In the short time you stayed with them, the most you had were sweaters with the team logo all over the place, or training shoes. There were also, however, drawings. And Wanda noticed.

"What are these?" She asks as she reaches for the small notebook on the armchair. You ran your hand through your hair shyly.

"A hobbie, I guess." You count with a smile. "It's new, it's...therapeutic, I think that's the word."

Wanda looks at you curiously.

"Since I've been here, I've had some trouble getting relaxed." You explain and Wanda frowns slightly. "So Bucky suggested finding a hobby of some sort."

"Who is Bucky?"

"The guy with the metal arm." You say and continue talking, not noticing the way Wanda squeezes the sketchbook a little too hard. "Since we've been through similar experiences, he figured that what his therapist taught him would probably help me too. He cooks, and I draw."

"Got it." Wanda murmurs, shifting her gaze to the notebook again. She opens it and looks at the pages carefully, smiling at some of the drawings. "When you say, similar experiences, what do you mean?"

You hesitate. Wanda doesn't know all about it. Everything you went through to get there. You wonder if you would like her to know.

"Maybe that's something for another time." You say as you look away and she looks upset.

"You used to tell me everything."

"Maybe there are things you don't need to know."

Wanda stares at you with her jaw locked. You look back, not sure what it is exactly that you're trying to hide.

You give in, with a soft sigh. You have waited so long to see them, only to have this strange nervous tension between you two.

Running a hand through your hair, you gesture to Wanda to return your notebook.

"Let me take you to your room..."

"No need, next door right? I'll be fine." She interrupts angrily, tossing the notebook into your hand.

"Wanda..."

But she's out of the room before you're done. You take a deep breath, staring at the notebook in your hands. Wanda never got to see the drawings you made of her.

Figuring that you should give them time to settle into their rooms, and take a shower after a mission like that, you return the notebook to your desk and decide to do the same.

With luck, you will be able to talk properly to each other in no time.

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Wanda and Pietro joining the team, seemed to have been the essential advantage for the Avengers to be ahead of Ultron.

Once you were back in the common room, Natasha handed you a mug of coffee while making a joke about Tony bragging about deciphering Ultron's entire plan, and you just laughed when she commented that it was easy to decipher when the twins had already shared the key information.

"We're going to Korea early tomorrow morning." She counters. "I think Steve wants to know if you're still going to be a part of it."

"Why wouldn't I?" You ask confused and she raises an eyebrow.

"You found your friends." She retorts and you sigh.

"Oh, yeah." You say. "B-but I can still help. I...I still want to"

"Is this about Ultron manipulating your friends?"

"Maybe."

Natasha laughs lightly.

"Well, the captain is in the conference room organizing everything." She says.

"I think he will be pleased to know that you are not heading off to Sokovia."

"Yet." You retort with a smile making Nat laugh as you take the coffee mug back.

When you arrived at the conference room, Steve was distracted by some paperwork, and you knocked on the door before entering.

"Hey, kiddo." He said as he turned his head to look at you quickly before returning his attention to the papers. "Everything okay?"

"Sure, Steve." You replied approaching, deciding to stay on your feet. "I wanted to let you know that I can still help."

Steve looks at you with a mixture of surprise and amazement.

"I thought..."

"Yeah, I know what I said before."You interrupt with an almost embarrassed smile. "But I want to help. I don't know what Ultron is planning, and I thought this was not my fight. But then..."

"It affected your friends." He concludes and you nod. Steve sighs and leans on the table, crossing his arms as he looks at you. "You know, I think I should give you a speech about how being a hero is about helping everyone, not just the people who matter to you."

You laugh humorlessly, looking away. You were going to contradict, but Steve quickly adds.

"I'm not going to do that." He says. "I won't because you grew up in a war that wasn't yours, with no one to fight for you. So you three were the only heroes you ever knew."

"We weren't heroes, Steve." You retort with a sigh. "We were just orphans trying to survive."

"My point is, I'm in no position to lecture you." He clarifies and you cross your arms, waiting for him to finish. "Your motive for fighting is nobody's business but your own. What matters is that you will be helping."

"Thanks, Cap." You grumble and Steve smiles.

He grabs a clipboard, and starts telling you about them finding out that Ultron had intention to create a better body made of Vibranium, and how they would be going to Korea to stop that and get the scepter back with the stone.

He is in the middle of the sentence about putting you on the support team when you can hear his heartbeat.

The sudden noise startles you and you frown in confusion.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he notices your expression, before you can say anything, your head starts to spin.

It's not just his heartbeat, but all the blood circulating in his veins that can be heard next. You suddenly find it hard to breathe, and just as you notice Steve's full molecular presence, you're able to know Natasha is in the next room, hear Tony chew in the basement, or feel Clint scratch his back.

It is oppressive and overwhelming and you stumble back in despair.

"W-what's happening?" You ask trying to breathe normally.

"Hey kid, breath, are you okay?" Steve asks worried, approaching you with his hands raised.

His heartbeat accelerates because he's scared for you and you gasp, covering your ears because you feel your head is going to explode.

"Please stop it." You ask in desperation, feeling your eyes fill with tears with all that information at once. "It's too much. please..."

"Tell me what's wrong." He asks but you just sit on the floor, burying your heads in your knees, and covering your ears as you try to breathe. "I'll get help."

Even after he leaves, you can feel his presence in the other rooms.

And it gets considerably worse when all the Avengers are around you, worried and asking what's wrong. Their heartbeats feels like it's going to pop your eardrums, and you want to scream.

"Hey Y/N, I need you to focus on my voice." It was Bruce, kneeling in front of you. "It's your powers increasing, remember how we talked about that? Try to focus on me."

"I can't. " You cry. "Please Bruce, it's too much. Tell them to be quiet."

"This will help." He says and you feel a sting in your thigh.

Little by little, the sounds become muffled, until they disappear. You get a taste of iron in your mouth, and you look up to see the whole team looking at you with concern, and Bruce in front of you, giving you a short smile.

"I'm sorry." You mumble awkwardly, feeling exhausted.

"Do not worry kid." Bruce says. "Can you stand?"

"I think so."

Bruce helps you anyway, one hand around your waist while your arm rests around his shoulders.

"I think you'd better lie down for a while." He says and then you are walking. "Guys, let's give her some space, alright?"

Bruce asks the team and they stop following you two. Bruce takes you to his room, and helps you to bed.

"Here we go." He murmurs as soon as you lie down completely. "How do you feel?"

"Exhausted." You respond weakly, feeling your eyes grow heavy. "Thanks for help."

"Any time." He says. "Rest kid, we have a lot to talk about when you wake up."

You want to tell him you'd like to know what's going on now, but you're falling asleep right away.

You don't know Wanda is standing at your door with a pounding heart.

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Waking up is surprisingly unpainful.

You expected at least a headache, but your powers do the job right.

"Good Morning." Bruce greets you as soon as he notices you fidgeting with the sheets. You frown.

"Morning? How long was I gone?"

"Thirty-eight hours and twelve minutes." He responds by placing the tablet he was holding on the table beside him. You widen your eyes in surprise, sitting up quickly. "Hey, take it easy."

"B-but the mission..."

"Do not worry about it." He says as he approaches your bed, sitting next to you at knee level. Bruce assesses you quickly and then sighs. "Are you feeling something? Any dizziness?"

"No." You say. "Where are the others?"

"The twins also went to Korea if that's what you want to know." He responds while looking away to fiddle with his jacket. He takes out a small lantern and holds it close to your eyes, examining something in them as he mutters to himself.

"What was wrong with me?" You ask as soon as he puts the object away. He adjusts his glasses.

"Don't talk like that." He asks. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"I was out for two days, doc." You retort with irony and he gives a short laugh.

"Yes, because you were exhausted." He says. "Don't worry about it, it's not a bad sign."

You mutter, crossing your arms. Bruce clears his throat as he reaches for the tablet on the table and then hands it to you.

"I did some analysis while you were sleeping." He says, and you stare at the graphics without understanding much. "They are good news."

"What did you inject in me back there?" You ask then, handing the tablet back to him.

"An alternative to Hydra Serum." He clarifies. "Without the obeying part, just the controlling of your abilities."

"Thanks, I guess." You mumble. Bruce locks the tablet before looking at you again.

"I'll ask Bucky to cook you something to eat, and then we'll go to the lab." He warns you. "We have some things to talk about."

"Whatever you say, doc."

//-//-////-//-////-//-////-//-//

After eating, and thanking Bucky for the favor, you returned to the lab.

Bruce set up a kind of glass room that made you frown.

"I have a cell now?" You joked and he grimaced.

"It's not a cell." He retorted. "It's a training room."

"It looks like a cell."

"It is not."

"But it looks like."

Bruce sighed and you giggled, crossing your arms as you look at the glass in front of you. He walked over to open the door through the holographic lock and you took a closer look.

"Why did I get a training cell?"

"Your training room is special." He says entering the glass box. You follow him, and as soon as he enters, you notice that the glass muffles all outside noise. When the door closes behind you, you can only hear Bruce. "I needed something that could block out everything else when your powers awaken again."

"But I don't have super hearing, Banner." You retort. "I don't understand why an anti-noise room is the best option."

"That's not what it's for."

You tap the glass with your fingers while Bruce fiddles with the tablet. And then the glass gains a new layer of protection, which glows golden before becoming practically invisible.

"Cool." You whisper and then turn to him again. "But what is it for?"

"Well, as I said earlier, I did other tests on your blood." He counts. "By my calculations, and from your little scene two days ago, you're going to be showing an immediate growth in your healing abilities over the next few days."

"Okay..."

"Shield tries to classify the enhanced humans as best as possible, and after working with Maria, we put you in some of those categories." He counts and with a flick of his fingers, a hologram comes out of the tablet into the air in front of him.

It was your file, and lots of texts and some photographs that you thought were images from your time in Hydra. Those were Shield's files on you.

"Of course we'll just have to wait for it to happen, but you're already classified as an enhanced beta level with biotherapeutic skills."

You looked around the files, surprised about the pics of your young self that Shield managed to recover. Even images from your childhood.

"For now, you've only demonstrated cell regeneration and close-range healing manipulation."

He narrates. "And two days ago, you had a small episode."

"I could hear everyone's heartbeats." You clarified still looking at the files. "I felt them in the next room."

"I understand." Bruce grumbles as he writes something down on his tablet. "This is called biomolecular detection. Depending on how you evolve, you might be able to detect injured people meters away."

You frown in surprise. Bruce is thoughtful.

"Not only detecting the injured, but also being able to tell exactly where the wounds are." He says. "It's impressive."

"You forgot the part where I couldn't breathe and I curled up on the floor like a scared child." You mock.

"That's what this room is for." He retorts with a smile. "You need to learn to handle your powers in a controlled environment."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It's better than putting you in the middle of the fight, I'm sure of that."

You sigh, crossing your arms.

"What else does Shield have on me?"

"You want to look at childhood pictures, don't you?"

You laugh, shrugging.

"Obviously."

After showing your files, Bruce also explained how the room was designed to block, at a molecular level, your ability to sense other people outside the room.

Since the team wasn't in the tower for the next few days until the end of the mission in Korea, Bruce and Bucky would help you practice with your powers.

And as soon as the serum Bruce developed started to wear off, you felt your powers come back with a vengeance.

"I need you to focus on my voice until we get to the lab." Bucky asked worried as he found you on your knees at the living room floor, hands over your ears. You muttered weakly, feeling him help you to your feet as you heard the air rush in and out of his lungs. He started humming a song, and you whimpered, trying to concentrate, but everything was overwhelmingly noisy.

It seemed to take forever, but then everything went quiet next.

You look up to realize that Bucky has left you in the room, and then close the door.

"Thank you, buddy." You say, adjusting your balance by leaning against the glass.

"Don't worry." He says giving you a gentle smile. "Do you feel better?"

"Fuck, yes." You grumble as you quickly wipe your tears. Bucky watches you carefully.

You sit on the floor, closing your eyes. It takes Bruce a few minutes to get to the lab, but when he does, he looks worried.

"Sorry for taking so long, I was all the way downstairs." He clarifies as he approaches the glass. "How do you feel?"

"It happened again." You count. "But as soon as I got in here everything was quiet."

"Well the room works, that's great." He says and you laugh weakly. "I think we can start your training then."

"But who will train her?" Bucky asks confused.

"I thought you could do that." Bruce retorts and Bucky looks at him in surprise.

"What? I thought you were going to do it."

"I don't know how to train anyone, I'm just a doctor." Bruce argues.

"Well I'm a sergeant who was brainwashed for eighty years, I'm not the teacher type."

"But you're a still a sergeant..."

"I was never a drill Sergeant..."

"Jeez." You grunt humorously, clearing your throat to stop the argument. "I have an idea, as clearly none of you are in the mood to train me, I suggest Bruce give me some more of the special serum until Natasha or Steve get back."

"We can do that." Bruce agrees. "I'll get the serum. Hopefully you'll learn to control this soon."

"I hope so, doc."

/-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-///-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-

Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #avengers imagines #Left Behind #Wanda x yn #wanda maximoff x you #elizabeth olsen x reader

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curioskitty · 3 years

Text

THE・Rarest Bakugou

Given Bakugou-kun's description as a "juvenile delinquent" (Horikoshi sensei uses the term 不良少年, or furyou shounen, meaning juvenile delinquent boy), it's expected that he wouldn't conform to standard. So obviously, it's not possible to find Bakugou-kun wearing a tie properly................

What is up with this perfectly tied nonsense right here?!

Bakugou-kun, I thought I knew you!!! THE LIES! THE BETRAYAL!!!

But, it's probably just a fluke. You didn't mean it, right Horikoshi-sensei?

WTF?! WHY?!!! Horikoshi-sensei?!

Yep. Contrary to expectations, Bakugou-kun wearing a tie correctly only ranks at Ultra Rare status: difficult to find, but not impossible.

So, what's rarer than a tie-wearing Bakugou-kun? Go Beyond, Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In fact, it's even harder to find Bakugou-kun wearing a tie improperly. Given proto-Bakugou's loose tie design, I would have expected that to be the likelier delinquent-esque tie option. But I've only seen Horikoshi-sensei draw him like this once:

(Horikoshi-sensei's one year celebration illustration. This is still fairly early in the publication.)

On top of that, Bakugou-kun consistently wears his uniform tie-less and with at least one button undone on his shirt collar. His pants are always slung low on his hips and legs bunching up at his feet (except when he had to wear jeans for Best Jeanist). You can even see panels where Horikoshi-sensei drew in the rips at the hems near the heel where they drag on the ground.

So why the inconsistency, Horikoshi-sensei? I see you over there, stop pretending you didn't notice. I know you're paying attention.

Horikoshi-sensei gave proto-Bakugou a loosened tie, so what is the reasoning for taking Bakugou-kun's tie away?

Some No-Tie Theories

Fan Theory #1: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW

//Like Midoriya-kun, Bakugou-kun came from a middle school with gakuran uniforms. They never learned how to tie them. Midoriya-kun messes up his tie, while Bakugou-kun doesn't even bother to try.//

I actually think this is the least likely reason. Bakugou-kun was designed to be a naturally talented genius. I think this applies to anything he wants to do. If he does something, it's always perfectly done.

Bakugou-kun can (and does if you look above) tie it perfectly when necessary.

CONCLUSION: If Bakugou-kun doesn't do something, it's completely out of personal preference or because he doesn't see a reason to.

Fan Theory #2: REBELLIOUS NATURE

//Bakugou-kun is a delinquent and maintains that image because he thinks it looks cool. Or maybe he is rebelling against fashion designer parents. Either way, because of his family background he knows how to tie a tie, but wants to be a rebel.//

I'd give partial points for this one. I'm pretty sure he wears his pants loose at least partially because he thinks it looks cool. However, Bakugou-kun's parents were noted to be designers and not specifically fashion designers.

Despite appearances, this is the kid that sleeps at 8:30pm, doesn't break school rules, and yells at his friends for smoking.

He zips up the collar on his gym track suit all the way. Both the summer and winter versions get the same treatment. He doesn't feel the need to "make a statement" by wearing his track uniform incorrectly. Outside of class, he can and does sometimes wear his track jacket unzipped, but during class he always wears it properly.

So then why does Bakugou-kun refuse to wear the band T-shirt and Christmas party Santa outfit? Because he isn't cooperative. In Ultra Analysis, his Cooperativeness Stat was the lowest rank: E.

CONCLUSION: Bakugou-kun may be non-conformist and uncooperative, but he isn't a rebel.

Fan Theory #3: TRAUMA/PTSD

//This is one of the more popular theories. Between Dabi grabbing his neck, the Sludge Villain and being restrained at the School Festival, our boy has been through the wringer. As a result, he just doesn't like stuff around his neck because it gives him anxiety.//

The Western Fandom is definitely concerned about the mental health of the kids. But I don't actually think this is the reason. Not that I don't think they all need some therapy and self care, especially right now, but there just isn't evidence for this specific trauma in Bakugou-kun.

He wears scarves and even turtle necks without a problem.

On top of that, Bakugou-kun ALSO unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and gakuran in middle school; even from before the Sludge Villain incident. There isn't any evidence Bakugou-kun changed his dressing habits due to trauma. He wore a scarf to the entrance exam for UA, too.

CONCLUSION: Bakugou-kun has ALWAYS worn his shirts with the top button unbuttoned.

These 3 theories are inadequate, too. Even if they did explain the reasons Bakugou-kun doesn't wear a uniform tie, they don't factor in the reasoning for why he DOES wear his other ties properly sometimes.

HC#1: Bakugou-kun's preference

Bakugou-kun doesn't seem to care about his image and how "extras" see him. Even during the press interviews after his hero debut, he wore the same style of open collar look. He's not shy about being nude or taking his shirt off.

But what he hates is being uncomfortable.

He is "explosively brawny". Just look at how thick Bakugou-kun's neck is when compared to Midoriya-kun's. It isn't just that Midoriya-kun is supposed to be scrawny, but also that Bakugou-kun has a thicker than average neck.

Bakugou-kun doesn't like to button up his shirts all the way because it's uncomfortable. It's reasonable that he zips his track suit and everything else up because those are looser at the neck or made of stretchier materials.

As for why he doesn't wear the uniform tie at all... Don't forget Bakugou-kun is a perfectionist and a bit of a neat freak.

He always tucks his shirt in. For the band performance he wore a collared black dress shirt. From what we saw of his room, it's minimalist and clean. I don't see him wanting to look like a slob.

A sloppy loose tie would probably irritate him more than just not wearing it (which is even funnier when you think about Midoriya-kun's chonk tie. It probably makes him want to strangle Midoriya-kun, or maybe just tie it himself...)

Bakugou-kun has difficulties compromising when it comes to his high standards. So if he has to wear it, it's going to be either 0% or 100%.

HC#2: Explosiveness

Why draw Bakugou-kun with either 0% tie or 100% tie? If Horikoshi-sensei is going for a delinquent image, wouldn't the 50% tie option make more sense?

Taking a look again at Bakugou-kun's profile page, Horikoshi-sensei describes him to be explosive in every way. That includes his whole body being "explosively brawny", but also adds a note that he looks slender in clothes.

Horikoshi-sensei put an effort to make every element of Bakugou-kun's character in some state of either fully compressed or explosive.

His slimming clothes, general appearance and even his speech patterns are highly compressed (blunt/terse) and loud. The extremes of his attitude are compressed too; if Bakugou-kun is not loudly raging, then he's quietly observing.

This contrast is key to his character. You can't explode if you aren't compressed first. It's supposed to be shocking to see how brawny he actually is under his slenderizing clothes. And I always feel shocked whenever I see this kid compressed into a tie.

HC#3: Deku & Kacchan

These two are set apart from the class by design and very much on purpose. Horikoshi-sensei designed them to be at opposite ends of the same spectrum.

If Bakugou-kun has muscular arms, then Midoriya-kun needs muscular legs. If Midoriya-kun buttons up his shirt all the way to the collar, then Bakugou-kun's collar has to be loose. Their designs reflect their connection.

So if Midoriya-kun has a poorly tied tie, the opposite of that is either non-existant or perfectly tied. If it's perfectly tied, he'd just blend in with the class.

The no-tie option just makes more sense.

Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou

Horikoshi-sensei only ever draws Bakugou-kun with a tie in specific scenarios. Costume events that require the neck tie as part of the costume or "fancy" events where everyone is in formal wear. And even in those, Bakugou-kun manages to not wear his tie 90% of the time.

So, I just imagine that when Horikoshi-sensei makes Bakugou-kun wear his tie, he's super grumpy! Just look at his face in every illustration he's wearing a tie in. He's probably hot, uncomfortable, and really not enjoying himself at all.

Ultimately, the "Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou" is a Bakugou-kun who wears the tie and SMILES while doing it.

(Yes, I know that's NOT actually a tie. Shut up Bakugou-kun. You're only smirking in this one because you won the Popularity Poll for the 5th time in a row...)

(Well that's random, you say? Welcome to my blog. Considering the stuff going down on canon, I figured I should give fans, and myself, a break from angst to talk about something silly.

Please note that this applies only to the manga. I've found that the anime isn't quite so strict about how Bakugou-kun looks.

Regarding the headcanons, I just want to clarify that everyone is free to think whatever they like. I enjoy all headcanons and support your right to have them.

I wrote this a while ago and then debated posting it because it's such a huge meta about... Bakugou-kun's tie. I had regrets. But now it's become my new years post. Regrets were for 2020, it's already 2021!

Demons out, fortune in!!! I know it's not setsubun for another month, but 2020 was such a demon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!)

#why did i write this #does this even qualify as meta #bnha headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bnha randomness #bnha spoilers #bkdk #bakudeku #decchan #if you squint #bnha meta #boku no hero manga #Bakugou Katsuki's tie

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supertunanana · 3 years

Note

Saw this in the Jikook tag and thought I'd add what I have seen. What I've seen isn't that people think they're fighting or broken up even though I'm sure there's a lot of that going on but for some they now believe Jikook were never a couple and are just close friends and they feel foolish for buying into blogs that have their own theories that Jimin and Jungkook are an actual romantic couple. Not entirely sure why this NY trip and middle half of 2021 in general have people changing their minds but I guess only they know. It happens every so often but this time I've seen people make permanent changes to their accounts whether it's on here or another sm platform. I just know some are comparing those blogs to the one who shall not be named in the other toxic shipper base. It's not that they see Jikooker blogs as toxic and horrible as that other person but that these Jikook blogs offer their own brand of manipulation only this time using facts instead of lies. No idea if that made any sense lmao How do I put it? Like taking events that have happened and making them out to be a bigger deal than they actually are which in turn gets other people to go "Really? I didn't see it that way but these people are older and wiser and maybe see things clearer than I do" then gifs or clips are usually provided and it all becomes pretty convincing. The thing is no one knows if they're a couple. Could they be? Yeah sure. Could they just be close friends with their own set of personal boundaries? Absolutely. When someone tries to offer up that suggestion to many Jikook blogs, they don't want to discuss that most of the time. Personally I've seen anons suggest a close friendship and are met with comments that that anon must not be experienced enough or anyone who can't see that Jimin and Jungkook are in a relationship must be blind or are choosing to ignore what's right in front of them. That's messed up. That's acting as if the opinion that they're dating is no longer just an opinion. I can see how that can be a mild form of toxicity in itself. Nobody has the right to belittle somebody because they share a different opinion. Even after this NY trip, I've seen many Jikook blogs erupt in anger, calling anons stupid and ridiculous for having doubts or changing their minds and coming to their own conclusions that Jikook aren't a couple but close friends. It's odd to see "Why does no longer car sharing convince you they're not dating?" When actually we've never known if they are to begin with so someone changing their minds over something that's never been confirmed in the first place isn't a problem or "stupid". Maybe the reasons for changing their minds might seem a bit hasty but they're still allowed to change their minds. So yeah I see people are feeling foolish for believing these blogs who hold the opinion they're dating and I think in time the negative feelings will fade away and I have already seen some move on from those types of Jikook blogs and make changes. Perhaps they'll be able to enjoy BTS content without worrying about Jikook's status? As for me, I've never believed they were a romantic couple to begin with but their relationship whatever it is in reality has me aww'ing so that's why I follow Jikook tag. Their interactions are very cute. Sorry for rambling on so much!

You're good, Anon. And I agree with most everything you've said! However, I'm not so convinced they aren't a romantic couple, but then again, I'm not convinced they are. As I told a friend, I'm pretty agnostic about this (and as an actual Agnostic in the religious sense, that's on brand, lol). I'm pretty bad about seeing things in black and white. I used to, but then law school happened, and I've mellowed out a lot (which is ironic, because I think most of my fellows only got stronger in their opinions, lol! IDK I think my ENTJ is slowly dying into an ENTP; the world has beaten me down into seeing the gray). But I don't really worry too much about it. I did at one point, simply because I think it's human nature to want absolutes, to want labels and definitions especially when something is "other" or "unusual", but I got over it. Do I think they do some suspicious things that make me raise an eyebrow and question them? Yes. Does this definitively make them a couple? No. Will my world fall apart if they are just friends with weird boundaries? No. I understand those blogs that are CONVINCED seem a bit dismissive of doubts, and I envy their conviction. I think they feel they are seeing a truth and supporting/defending a truth that is screaming to break free. That Jikook ARE IN FACT a couple, desperate to be seen as such, but muted by their careers and the socio-political climate of where they live. And I am sympathetic to that. It's why I cannot simply dismiss Jikook as NOT being a couple or forcing heteronormative expectations on them. If they are, I do indeed see signs, and I support them if it's true. BUT, that often leads to looking at a lot of what they do with confirmation bias. That is, you believe your hypothesis "they are a couple hiding in plain sight", so everything they do or say supports this hypothesis, and I find that equally faulty. I see some Jikookers who get just as silly about Jimin and JK being near each other or looking at each other as Taekookers. Sure, they'll spin a more eloquent web using those odd and unusual things that make me side-eye ("SE") to support this, but it often boils down to the same thing. Not everything Jimin and Jungkook do equates to some magical, romantic relationship! I get that they are often trying to cite patterns of behavior (eg JK gravitates towards Jimin) which could be seen as innocuous and BFF stuff and then couple it with "SE" stuff (eg JK sucks on Jimin's ear) to give more meaning to the former as being more romantic and legit than a Taekooker possibly citing similar, but it's not. Not fully. I know the BEST romantic relationships have partners who are BFFs, but that doesn't mean that BFF behavior equates to a romantic relationship. Or even the "SE" behavior equates to a romantic relationship (as you said, it could be BFF's with weird boundaries - I've made out with a few of my friends and I was in no way attracted to them physically or romantically). It's not the transitive property of relationships here. So, that's where I see more wiggle room, that's where I think a lot of people question or have doubts, but that's where these blogs are so convinced. I don't necessarily think they're trying to be rude (but they can be and that sucks), but I think they're just stuck in their confirmation bias loop. They are convinced and they use the strength of that conviction to put emphasis on a lot of things. I don't think they're trying to manipulate anyone, because they genuinely believe it, and that's where they can be dismissive when questioned. And again, I don't think they're inherently wrong, but I also don't think they're inherently right, either. I will say, that if ANY pairing in BTS were to be legit, Jikook have the strongest argument, but it doesn't mean they are (but it also doesn't mean they aren't). And that's ok, to me at least. I'm fine living in the gray and seeing Jikook as each other's person, regardless of what that fully entails. They have a beautiful relationship, they make each other better people, and as my double biases (Jin is my bias wrecker - my chaos trio!), that makes me happy.

#ask #this is me #jikook

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akampana · 2 years

Note

Anime asks 19 and 26

Hi!!!! ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰

edit: i forgot to say i answered 26 recently so ill just answer 19 huhu

19. Favorite Anime Ships

oh god okay here we go. I'll do 5 cause there's no way I can discuss them all. Non-Fate since you already know my opinion on that. (harem au go brrrrrrrrr)

1. C.C. and Lelouch from Code Geass

I'd like to start off my list with my favorite Witch and Warlock. Lelouch's little harem was a pretty cool sideplot to one of the best animes I've ever watched and I've always liked how each of his heroines liked an aspect of him. (Kallen liked Zero, Shirley liked Lamperouge, while C.C. liked the real him without either mask, Lelouch Vi Brittania)

But the connection between him and his green-haired partner in crime was just divine. Their fateful encounter began a powerful alliance that could floor entire nations. She gave him the power he needed in the hour of his greatest need and he found out her true wish. I always like pairings with strong themes and they do that for me. I cant word out everything i feel for these two rn but god, I will never be over them.

2. Gajeel and Levy from Fairy Tail

I don't think there's ever been a shounen manga that had me scouring through pages just to find the tiniest clues about a ship. That's what Gajevy did to me. These two had the best enemies to lovers arc because step-by-step you get to watch Gajeel's redemption and Levy's struggle to be stronger side-by-side. Even if they weren't the main focus of Fairy Tail, just seeing these two slowly go from being awkward, to developing a friendship, to catching feelings, to BEING SEEN IN MANGA PANELS WITH THE TINIEST GLIMPSE OF A BLANKET WITH THE SAME PATTERN, to confessing, to that blushy whisper in the final chapter. Yeah. They're great. Best ship in Fairy Tail.

3. Shion and Yayoi from Psycho-Pass

I really like when relationships are just you know, running in the background like its nobody's business and I have to claw for crumbs and this is that. Like, when the bed scene dropped showing the two hottest women of 2012 with EACH OTHER my jaw dropped along with it. *inhales* *exhales* Psycho-Pass just delivers on bloody every aspect, I swear.

4. Hyuga x Riko x Teppei from Kuroko no Basuke

And again with the ships running in the background like its nobody's business, my GOD I went down a rabbit hole with this one. I was really enjoying Riko's dynamic with Hyuga I thought they were kind of great together parenting the rest of the team and then boom Teppei arrives and she's the only one that calls him by his first name and OHOHHOHOHO what is this that I sense is it HISTORY??? and yes it is, they used to date. So while I was crying relating to the athlete angst (i was a swimmer, not a basketball-er but yknow) going on I was also checking to see glimpses of the interactions of these three, like full on looking in backgrounds and stuff. Off the top of my head S1 EP21 dropped a TON of shipping fuel for me, with the way both Hyuga and Teppei's reactions to her cooking. Look me in the eye and tell me they don't love her. I dare ya. plus Teppei and Hyuga have a healthy relationship with each other too. It's a very subdued love triangle and it lasts the whole time, I love it.

5. Vi and Cait from Arcane

Wanted to add something more recent, so guess what I just watched. HAHAHAHAwheeee. Brainrot. You ever see two characters whose eyes connect ONCE and sparks fly. Yep, that's exactly how I felt when I saw these two. Every second of screentime delivered. Every interaction was with purpose. Arcane didn't have that many episodes, so to showcase a relationship so strongly in essentially the latter half, was great. Watching them was a joy, and for anyone who hasn't checked this out yet, yáll should watch Arcane, even if you don't play League. (I don't, but my friends pushed me to watch and yep. Loved it.)

Thank you for the ask! :D

ask

#akampana asks #there are too many ships in my inner filing cabinet #but i didnt want to talk about the ones that i like that are already super talked about #these were the first I dug up #ANYWAY WATCH KUROKO NO BASUKE AGAIN AND LET ME DRAG YOU WITH ME DOWN INTO HELL MWAHAHAHA #is it TEPPEI OR IS IT HYUGA #WHY NOT BOTH #RIKO HAS TWO HANDS #yes so as you can see ot3/love triangle brainrot as always lmao

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that-wildwolf · 3 years

Text

I was tagged by @crescentbunny and I'm not tagging anyone in particular because I never really have a good grip on who's already done a tag game and who hasn't...

Anyway! Here goes :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

I write lots of one-shots, so this should be around thirty... Yep, twenty-seven.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Where do you check that? You can check that???

*spends approximately 10 minutes going through AO3 settings they didn't know existed*

Cool! A lot of features I didn't know about. Anyway, um. Yes. My total word count is, for the moment, 471,674 words.

Wow. I. Um. Almost 500K words. But—and this is extremely important—I feel like this graph contains some vital information:

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Wow. Okay. I'll do this in chronological order because I never really counted.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Inheritance, Assassin's Creed, The Wolf Among Us, The Walking Dead, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Attack on Titan, Fallout, Sarah Jane Adventures, Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, Steven Universe. I don't think I missed anything...?

That adds up to 13.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Of course I do! I thrive on feedback! Not implying that my entire self-esteem hinges on the approval of strangers on the internet, but comments are the best fucking thing ever! Instant serotonin for a whole day! Of course I'll reply! I love getting into little conversations with my readers, too!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Wow. I'm usually more of a happy ending kind of person, but A New Quest (which I wrote at the super proud age of 11) did end with half of the main characters dead and a memorial service for them as the last scene, so... You know. If you consider that angsty, then sure.

Fun fact: Crossing A Line was actually originally supposed to end with Shepard dying! The last chapter (which to me still feels a bit out of place) was rewritten completely. I'm glad I changed it, though. I'm having a lot of fun with the sequel!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

A month ago I'd have said Waiting Between Worlds without second thoughts—does it count as a happy ending when the whole fic is just a happy ending?—but it's just been going downhill the last three or four chapters. Pretty much every one of my one-shots in the When I Need You series. Also, Crossing A Line, I guess, now that it has a happy ending.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I... really don't. I'm wildly ace, all my sex knowledge comes from smut and porn and I'm pretty sure that if I were to actually write the adult stuff, I'd either go way overboard and make it too obscene to read or end up with something completely dry and clinical and unreadable too.

When there's sex scenes in my fic, I usually leave them implied. I say the characters had sex, but I never explicitly write the actual sex. I don't think I'd be good at it. (Actually, I've tried plenty of times and I know I'm not. It's the dirtiest, kinkiest filth you'd ever see and I'd really recommend against reading it.)

I do like writing the pre-chorus to sex, as it were, though. The sensual foreplay to the sexual foreplay. The soft or heated moments leading up to the act. I've even gotten comments about my lime being "extremely hot despite not being smut" and I'm more than happy with that description.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the strangest one you’ve written?

I used to write crossovers. Now I only sometimes write AUs based on a different fandom, like a Shakarian Kimi no Na wa!AU.

The strangest crossover I've ever written? Don't know if any of them were strange. I had The Wolf Among Us/The Walking Dead crossovers and Doctor Who/Sarah Jane Adventures crossovers, but both of those pretty much exist in the same universe already, so... No. No weird crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. At least none that I know of.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Plenty. A lot. I'd wager around 4 out of 5 comments on my Shepard Twins fanfic are negative. I haven't updated the fic in a while, but that doesn't mean I'm not writing anymore. I have around 50K words' worth of WIP of it. So no, the hate comments don't bother me. (A lie: they bother me a lot. They even make me cry, sometimes. But they're not gonna be the reason I stop writing a story I enjoy.)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

My very first fanfiction writing experience, actually. In retrospect, I think that worked out great, because that kind of cooperation made it easier to carry the whole thing through, get it to the end, and was a very positive experience - which is probably why I've continued to write fanfic.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Ahhh. Royai or Shakarian? Royai or Shakarian? Stupid, since they're almost the same relationship dynamic, but they're both amazingly written. I'm edging a bit more towards Shakarian, because interspecies stuff is always a bonus. Still, it's a close competition.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I wish! I've translated other people's fics, but I've yet to have someone do that for me.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I plan to hope to finish all my WIPs.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. This is going to come off as boastful, but I think I'm pretty good at replicating individual characters' speech patterns.

What are your writing weaknesses?

According to my beta, I use elispses too liberally. According to me, I have trouble with transition scenes. I never write in order, so I always end up with disconnected scenes I need to join into a chapter. And the join parts don't even come easy to me.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Not a fan. (When I write fanfics in Polish, I sometimes use English, but that's not the same because everyone in Poland knows English anyway.) If it's a made-up language in the fandom, I like to include some words every now and then in dialogue - especially when it doesn't translate exactly. I love spotlighting cultural differences. I actually learned a load of Jel words for my Murkmire fanfics.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Good times. Damn, that was a long time ago. *suddenly gets the overwhelming realization that they've been writing fanfic for the bigger part of their life* ...Wow.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Big Spoon/Little Spoon, a short Shakarian one-shot exploring the psychology of the Spacer background a bit. I also used lighting in a really cool way in this one! I'm really proud of it. Even when I call it "the Spooning As A Metaphor For Nationality Issues fanfic", I mean it in an affectionate way.

As far as non-one-shots go, I'm going with Crossing A Line. It's got it all: Enemies to Lovers, language barrier, interspecies awkwardness... Plus, writing from Garrus's POV is always a treat. I get to refer to humans as "aliens". What more could you want?

#tag game #writing #fanfic #fanfic writing #meet the blogger #aka #wild rambles #thanks for tagging me in this bunny it was a lot of fun!#my life #long post

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iceslushii · 3 years

Note

So, I'm writing this to document what I can only assume is my sudden descent into insanity. I can't possibly be THAT bad a navigator, and yet as I write this I've been trapped in Ikea for 2 days. I haven't seen another person in the entire time I've been here. I thought it was a prank at first. Turn the place into a maze, get all the people out and see how long it takes me to get lost, then everyone has a good old laugh. Realised that wasn't the case when I tried to backtrack. Everything had changed, so I ended up lost. Instead of the exit, it was just row after row of bookcases.

So, I'm trapped in Ikea. Sounds like the setup for a bad joke. The lights went out at 10pm. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, that loud electrical THUNK sound and then pitch blackness. Place is full of beds though and my phone has a torch on it - but no damn signal - so I found a bed and went to sleep. Spent most of the next day trying to find my way out with no luck. Did find a restaurant serving those meatballs though, so at least I won't starve. That's probably the punchline to that joke. Anyway they were still warm and fresh, but I haven't seen anyone around who could have cooked them. Made my way back to the beds before the lights cut out again since it's too dark to search with them off.

It's 9.10am now, the lights came back on a little while ago. I'm sure I've searched the entire area around where I came in now and the exit obviously isn't here, so I'm going to pick a direction and hope for the best.

Day 3 of my magical Ikea mystery adventure. If I wasn't sure that there was something seriously weird about this place before, I am now. Walked for 3 hours in a more or less straight line (insert Ikea joke here) before I came across a ladder next to one of those huge stock shelves they have here. Climbed up to get my bearings, and it looks like this place just stretches on forever. Like that scene from the Lion King, except instead of trees and grass it was all shelves and tables and crap. I did see a person moving not too far away though, so I headed over.

Thought it was a staff member at first - it was wearing the uniform. And hell maybe it was, maybe freakish 7ft tall monsters with long arms, short legs and no faces are just the kinds of thing they want working at Super Ikea. Damn thing completely ignored me though, and with no eyes or ears I can't even be sure it knew I was there. Thought about shoving it or something to get its attention, but its hands were big enough to crush a water melon so I decided against it. It just kept moving along and eventually I lost sight of it so I decided to carry on the way I was going.

Anyway, no comfy bed for me tonight. Looks like I've entered the Improbably Hard and Pointy Table section of the store. Guess I'll have to make do with some bunched up tablecloths. Phone battery died during the day too. Didn't work anyway, but I feel like I've just lost some vital lifeline.

You ever see one of those cartoons where they're going through doors in a hallway and they just pop out of another door in the same hallway? That's how I feel right now. I've seen nothing but the same identical bookshelf for 2 days now. Just row after row after row of them. I mean, come on. I love books as much as the next guy, but this is excessive. I'm obviously still moving forwards though, I can see the signs hanging overhead passing by. Too bad none of them say "Exit".

Not sure who I was addressing that question to. Lets just say it was practice for the autobiography I'm going to write when I get out of here. I'll call it "My perfectly normal trip to a regular old Ikea".

If I ever get out o

Finally found some other people! Yeah, turns out I'm not the only poor bastard trapped in here. Lucky for me, I guess. My 6th night here, 2 of those staff things came at me in the dark. Different from the first one I saw, but still messed up. Heard them coming, they were saying that the store was closed and I had to leave the building, all nice and polite like. I'm not sure which part of that was weirder, that they don't have mouths or that they were apparently trying to kill me while they were saying it. Came at me like rabid dogs.

So, I legged it. Sprinting through ikea in the dark like a fucking madman. I saw it when I cleared another stand of those giant stock shelves, all lit up with torches and floodlights. They've built a whole town in here! Got a massive wall built out of shelves and beds and tables and whatever else. I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyway I guess they saw me coming (or maybe they heard my girlish manly bellows of fear), because they had a gate open and 2 people were there waving me in. Heard the staff things slam into the gate behind me after it closed, still politely informing us all that the store was now closed. They wandered off eventually though.

They call the town Exchange, because that's whats on the sign hanging from the ceiling directly above it. Exchange and Returns. All lit up against the night using lights they've found and plugged into the power lines. And there are beds and food and people. Over 50 wonderful people with regular sized limbs and a full set of facial features. It's now my 7th night here, and the first one not spent in darkness. A full week living in Ikea. There's probably a TV show in that somewhere.

Now that I'm around other people, I'm starting to feel more normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. But after a week with only the sound of my own footsteps for company, I was becoming increasingly sure that I'd just gone nuts. That I was tied up in some padded room somewhere, banging my head against the wall. But no, I feel quite sane now, thank you very much!

Apparently there are other towns out there. Some with more people, some with less. I found that fairly mind-boggling - how can that many people go missing with no one noticing. Surely someone would have noticed that everyone who goes to ikea seems to fucking vanish. Or maybe it's not everyone. Maybe we're just the lucky ones.

The people here just call those staff monster things the Staff. Apparently they are fine during the day, minding their own business walking the aisles. As soon as those lights go out though, they go fucking bonkers. So during the day people go out to find food, water and whatever else they need. Apparently there are restaurants and shops around that randomly get restocked. No one knows how. Maybe the staff do it. Apparently they aren't very good at their jobs though because the restocking sometimes takes a while, which means the food needs to be rationed. Maybe if they weren't so busy chasing people around in the dark they'd get more done.

Anyway when night comes the staff go nuts and everyone holds up inside the walls. Apparently it's the same everywhere in this place, whatever this place is. The Ur-Ikea, from whence all other Ikeas sprang. Or maybe we're all still just in the regular ikea and this is all some fever dream brought on by mind-numbing boredom. Who knows.

Been here for 10 days now. Most of the people I asked said they stopped keeping track a long time ago and one guy, Chris, said he'd been in here for years.

Years.

[ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLES]

Apparently there are rumours of people who do manage to get out. And of people who see the exit, only to have it vanish before their very eyes. I get the feeling not everyone believes that, but I do. Explains how we got stuck in here in the first place (sort of). And I mean, come on. Staff monsters, row after endless row of high quality Swedish furniture. I don't know why they would find a disappearing door so hard to believe in.

Anyway, I went out scavenging for food at a nearby shop with Sandra and Jerry today. Once you learn the landmarks of this place it's not so hard to navigate. The overhead signs help a lot, but there are others; not too far in the distance a huge section of those giant stock shelves has collapsed against each other and way off in the east (we all assume it's east anyway - apparently Ikea doesn't sell compasses) is some kind of tower that looks like its made of wood, reaches all the way to the ceiling. Maybe they were trying to break out through the roof. Lights up at night so there must be people there, but its apparently a few days walk (which means it must be miles away) so no one here really knows for sure. Apparently I got incredibly lucky sleeping out in the open for a week without getting ripped to bits by the staff. That's me. Lucky lucky lucky.

We found some food in the shop. Guess the staff restocked it during the night, which was nice of them. There was a telephone on the wall, so I figured I'd try it out. There was a voice on the other end, but they were just talking nonsense. Random words strung together with no real meaning. You ever see a video of someone with aphasia? Kind of sounded like that. Didn't answer me when I spoke to them anyway. Sandra says all the phones in here are the same.

Oops, asking the journal questions again!

I was thinking last night. The ceiling on this place is pretty high and as far as anyone can tell it goes on forever. Shouldn't there be some kind of weather in here? I'm sure I read about some NASA building that was so big it had its own weather patterns, with clouds and stuff. This place is definitely bigger than that, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I've never felt so much as a temperature change in here.

I'll add it to the Grand List of Weird Bullshit.

The staff attacked the Exchange last night. Must have been 20 or 30 of them all just asking us to leave the store calm as you like, while trying to smash the walls down with their bare hands. Apparently this happens pretty regularly, so everyone is prepared for it. Knives from the restaurants, lawn mower blades made into hatchets, a fire axe. One guy, Wasim, even made a functional crossbow. Anyway the walls have holes in them, which I hadn't noticed before, specifically so we can stab out at the staff when they attack. Took a couple of them down myself. They don't seem to bleed, which is weird, but they go down as easy as a regular person once you start sticking holes in them.

We had to haul the bodies away in the morning. Apparently the dead ones will attract more during the night, so we had to get them away from Exchange. We have a couple of those trolley things they use to move big boxes around, so we loaded them up and took them over to Pickup. Apparently people just name everything in here after whatever sign is hanging overhead.

Pickup was grisly. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of dead staff all piled up. There was no smell, which was a blessing. Apparently in addition to not bleeding, these things don't rot either. My curiosity got the better of me while we were unloading them, so I took a look at one of the more cut-up ones. They're just skin, or something that looks like skin, all the way through. No muscle, no bone, no organs. Are they even really alive in the first place? They certainly seem like they have bones when they are moving around, pounding on the walls. And I'm sure I felt more resistance than just skin when the knife went in during the night. Maybe something happens to them when they die. Just one more thing on the ever-increasing list of Weird Shit that goes on in here, I guess.

Something occurred to me, after the staff attack the other night. Every time you see a situation like this on TV or in a film, like its the end of the world or everyone is trapped on an island or whatever, once groups like ours start to form people always seem to turn on each other. Fighting for food or dominance or whatever else. That hasn't happened here. Apparently people from other towns come by from time to time, just to check in or occasionally to trade if they are short on something. But everything is always cordial. Friendly, even. Maybe its the threat of the staff, or perhaps the constant restocking of supplies in the shops means there's nothing much to fight over.

Maybe people are just better than they are generally given credit for. That's a nice thought. I think I'll go with that one.

A dozen people showed up at the gates this afternoon from a town called Trolleys. Apparently the staff broke through the walls and tore the town apart during the night. These 12 are the only survivors out of over a hundred. We let them in, obviously. One more point in the human decency column. Later, I asked if anyone knew how many of these towns there were out there. Between us and the new folks, we managed to come up with over 20 names. 20 towns filled with people, and who knows how many beyond that.

The motto for this place should be "How Is That Even Possible". Surely someone, somewhere must be looking for the thousands of people that must be in here.

I've been here for a little over 2 months now. Not that much changes, as it turns out. A couple of new people showed up, same story as the rest of us. Nice little trip to Ikea and suddenly they're trapped in Billy Bookcase's House of Faceless Weirdos. The staff attack the Exchange once or twice a week. We kill them and haul their bodies off, sometimes they hurt some of us first. They killed a guy called Jared a couple of weeks back. It was awful, frankly. Turns out regular humans still bleed in here, even if the staff don't. We tried our best, but none of us are doctors.

Jared was a good guy. He deserved better. We all do.

It occurred to me a couple of days after that, none of us were really looking for a way out of here. I don't even know where we'd start.

One of those quad copter things with a camera attached buzzed passed Exchange today. I thought it meant that someone was finally looking for us, that help was on the way. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, though. Same thing happened a few months ago, and everyone is still here.

No idea if it saw us, it didn't stop if it did. Just kept flying until we could no longer see it.

Note: Based on recovery time of the journal, this entry appears to line up approximately with our first successful test piloting a drone inside SCP-3008-1. Analysis of footage shows a walled settlement under a sign labelled "Exchange and Returns". Attempts to relocate the settlement failed. Origin of previously sighted drones is unknown.

I started talking to people about the stuff they miss from home during dinner today. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, everyone seemed pretty down after. A bunch of people here have families. Husbands and wives, kids. Dogs. Franklin apparently has a pet llama, though I'm not sure I buy that.

But apparently some of the people here have some seriously odd gaps in their knowledge. 3 of them had never heard of the International Space Station, 2 of them seemed to think █████ ███████ was the Prime Minister, and one of them had apparently never heard of the Statue of Liberty. I believe them, too. They seemed just as confused as the rest of us.

The more I thought about it though, the more it started to explain a few things. What if the reason no one is looking for all us missing people is because we haven't all come from the same place. This is going to sound weird (maybe that should be the motto for this place) but what if all the people here have come from different dimensions? Realities? Whatever you call it. I've seen enough TV shows to know the drill. Sarah comes from a place where there is no Statue of Liberty. They didn't launch a space station where Wasim is from. If everyone here came from different places, even from ones that seem identical, there'd be no huge missing persons panic. No mass search. We'd just be a blip, a single missing person in a world of non-stop news.

Well. That was a fun train of thought.

Just realised that yesterday was the six month anniversary of my arrival here. I wonder if Ikea sells party hats. The routine around here has remained more or less the same. More new folk show up, one every couple of weeks or so. Food supplies go up and down, but we've never actually had a major shortage. Occasionally we get a visitor from one of the nearby towns, usually Checkouts or Aisle 630. We check in with each other from time to time, occasionally trade supplies if someone gets particularly low on something. It's comforting, in a way. A reminder that we aren't alone in here, some small glimmer of civilisation. Sometimes they bring medical supplies. Apparently there's a pharmacy a few towns down from Checkouts that gets restocked every now and then, so they share out what they can. I've never heard of an Ikea with a pharmacy before but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if someone stumbled on an Ikea Organ Harvesting Lab. Would certainly explain the staff.

Speaking of our faceless jailers, their attacks have been getting worse lately. 3 or 4 times a week now, with twice as many staff as there used to be. No idea where they all come from, or why the attacks have increased. We tried following one of them during the day a few weeks ago, me and Sarah. Wanted to see if they lead back to a staff room or something. Didn't seem to go anywhere though, just randomly walked through the aisles. We had to turn back before we found anything.

We've been reinforcing the walls, trying to arm ourselves better. Certainly no lack of materials to use. Wasim has been making more crossbows, but it's pretty slow going.

Too bad Ikea doesn't sell guns.

Note: No new personnel have entered SCP-3008 at Site-██ in the time span indicated in this entry.

The attacks are getting bad now. Almost every night, and with so many staff that the bodies almost pile high enough for others to climb the walls. I think we're in real trouble here.

Exchange is

I think Exchange is done. We got hit pretty bad last night. Not many casualties, but the wall is wrecked. We finally figured out why the attacks had been escalating, too. A box of supplies had a chunk of one of the staff in there. No idea how it happened but apparently a piece of one will draw them as well as a full body. Too late now in any case, there's too many bodies for us to haul away and still have time to fix the wall before night. Candace has called a meeting. I suspect there will be talk of abandoning Exchange, maybe try and get shelter at Checkouts or something.

It's already getting late though. I don't think we'll have time to make it. Maybe some of us will. I was fine for that first week out in the dark, after all. But then, how often can I keep getting lucky.

I'm only writing this for a sense of closure, I guess. For me, or for anyone who finds this. If this is the final entry here, I hope whoever is reading this is doing so from outside of this place.

My biggest fear? If I do die tonight, I'll just wake up here again in the morning.

Note: This is the last entry. It is assumed that while attempting to reach the "Checkouts" settlement he was separated from the rest of his group by a pursuing SCP-3008-2 instance and happened upon the exit.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye

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pbandjesse · 5 years

Text

Today was a pretty good day. There was a big stressful part of the beginning but the majority of the day was very good. There was even a special surprise. And yoga.

I slept super poorly last night. I couldn't fall asleep for forever because I felt sick and nauseous and bad. And then when I did fall asleep I woke up a few times again. Air conditioner turned off in the middle of the night and James rollover next to me and I woke up just horribly uncomfortable. He wouldn't turn the air conditioning back on that because he always takes care of me. And I was able to sleep until about 7.

James was awake and told me I could keep sleeping but I didn't really want to. I wanted to lay there so I just played on my phone for a while. And then I got up. I got cleaned up and dressed and I felt okay.

I hung in my hammock for a little bit and then James told me he made a waffle. And I was like okay. And I was confused because he had asked me what I wanted for breakfast last night and I said I was going to have the avocado scramble thing I made the other day. And then he remembered that after he made the waffle and felt very bad. But it was fine. He made the thing I wanted and he had the waffle for breakfast instead.

I got the best boyfriend.

We hung out for a while and then left to go to the bus. James walked me there. And then bus proceeded not to show up for almost a half an hour. I was very frustrated. Because it was supposed to be there at 9: 30 but it didn't come until almost 9:50. And we had been there since 920. So I was very stressed out and I hate being late!! I texted Tiffany and let her know and I was just very distressed.

I was about 15 minutes late in the end. Sucks. I'm going to try to get an earlier bus tomorrow. So even if it runs late I will hopefully have the same issue. Because seriously we were three blocks away from access art and our bus driver saw someone on the street that he knew and he park the bus and got off to go have a conversation with him. I was losing my mind.

But I got there and everyone was fine. We're just lesson planning so it wasn't like I was missing anything yet but I hate being late. We all kind of bullshitted and talked for a little bit and then the teacher from holistic Life Center came.

He was a really nice guy. He told really funny stories and he was young and covered in tattoos and wearing a Orioles yoga shirt. He mostly talked about mindfulness. A little bit of yoga. And we learned a lot about breathing exercises. I felt very Vindicated and validated about the types of breathing exercises I already do with the kids when they're upset or hurt. But I learned some really interesting ones today. Specifically that I breathe wrong and I'm trying to retrain myself but it's very hard. It was very enjoyable even though I hated sitting in the folding chairs for that long. My feet don't reach the ground and it's uncomfortable.

But we also played a couple mindfulness games at the end of that was cool. Stuff that we can use in the classroom and it's awesome. I'm really glad that we were able to do that.

We had a late lunch. Marcus went down the street and got me a spring roll. Was very good. And I worked on my lesson plan. Almost out. I think I'll probably end up finishing it tomorrow. And then I'll go back in and make sure it's all good. I also think I want to use a couple other visual things for the classroom. And maybe add some tutorial images of some kind. We have tomorrow and Friday to finish lesson plans. And even with my brain breaks where I sketched tattoo ideas I still got a lot done.

While I was taking a break on my lesson plan I was looking at eBay and I got a crazy good deal on a Furby buddy. Something that I've been trying to get for 2 months now there's a little plush versions of the Furbies. I don't absolutely love them but people use them to make the long Furbies. And I'd like to try my hand at that. And I got one for $5. Usually they go for $35 to $40. I am very excited. I think I'm going to use it slightly as part of my example for my quilt making lesson. I'm going to make its belly pattern based off of Victorian crazy quilts. I'm very excited.

At 3 we finished up. We all decided on which weeks we should be teaching our lessons and when. Was decided that my quilt project would go first which makes me slightly nervous but it's probably a good idea. Because it's community building project we're going to kind of have all the kids get out there art things right away before they jump into other projects and I think that will work out nicely.

And then me and fitsum went home. His driving kind of makes me nauseous. Lot of fast speed up and then stopping. But we had a nice conversation about capitalism and its downfalls. And talked about apartments because he's moving as well. We saw a couple meet cars that we pointed out and talked about. It was a good time.

He dropped me off and I made some food. Did a couple packing things. Made a pile of the furniture and getting rid of. And just kind of hung out. Me and James were going to have dinner together but I kind of just wanted to be by myself a little bit. My dad's going to come visit this weekend and he's going to take the bed. So really these are the last couple days I'm ever going to live alone if all goes according to plan. And it feels very strange. I've lived alone for a long time. But I am excited. Nervous but excited.

I was just kind of chilling. Even though it was too humid in here to call it chilling. Playing Animal Crossing and watching videos. And then I decided to go check the mail.

I was excited because I had a package. But then I saw that there was a letter in there as well from the Minneapolis Apartment project. Which means it's from the class action settlement. Which means it's a check. When we won the settlement last year they said that we would get all of our rent back. But of course it was going to go into appeals. So we would probably just get a portion of our rent back. And honestly getting any amount of money from living in those apartments would be fine. But I was so nervous about opening this check. So he opened my package first. And it was socks! very exciting. I was looking forward to those socks. They're black and they have little hearts on them.

But I couldn't put off opening the check any longer. And I did and if I did my math right I thought about nine months worth of rent back. And the checks that this might not be the only check. That I might get more? Like after all the lawyers and fees are paid if there's anything left over there going to send another check. That's wild. And like all of my money stress. The $40 me and James got scammed out of the other day. James his bike breaking. Moving. All of it. This kind of feels like a buffer. We don't have to worry about it now. Least for a while. And I'm making more money and if he gets this job he's going to be at making more money. And even if he doesn't get this job he's going to keep looking until he does get something good. Don't have to be so stressed out and nickel-and-diming ourselves all the time. it's exciting. It feels Like the universe is telling me everything's going to be okay. That means using my white privilege to help make the lives of my neighbors and Minneapolis better is being rewarded. And that sometimes being a good person and trying to help other people does pay off in the end. And sometimes in cash.

I kind of didn't know what to say when I open the check. So I called James and let him know. And then I called my dad. We talked about taxes and he's going to check with the tax lady to make sure that I have put enough aside next year. I don't want to have an issue. But yeah it's exciting. And it was good to hear dad. He sounds a lot better. And he's looking forward to coming on Sunday and I'm looking forward to having him here. We're going to patch holes but hopefully we'll also do something else. Maybe we'll eat some good food and maybe we'll go see something interesting. Unsure of what yet but I'll figure that out.

I called Jess next to let her know. And she was very excited for me. And then I went back to packing. I brought more stuff from the basement. I broke down all of my Furby boxes. I don't know why I'm keeping them but it feels weird to throw them away. So flat in the Middle East to put them in storage. And I use the box that I have been storing them in to put kitchen stuff in. Paper towels and Ziploc bags. That one bottle of alcohol I always have. And then I took a shower. I painted my toenails and I'm just watching videos and enjoying my night.

Back to lesson planning tomorrow. And then I think falafels with James. No matter what it's going to be a good day. I can feel it. Hope you all have a good night tonight. Be kind to each other. Go out of your way for someone else. Don't expect anything in return. Good night

#ootd #work #good day #weird dog #cat #drawings #wensday

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dalemeetsworld · 4 years

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Chef Anthony Bourdain once said, "If you're young, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel- as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them wherever you go." Those words inspire me and impacted my whole being. I'm 25 and fortunate to have traveled the world and absorb what it has done to me. Through it, I realized that traveling is a better investment than more material things. Why? It's because there are so many life lessons you can learn from it. I can tell you some of my favorites.

1. IT IS OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

There is nothing more like diving out of your comfort zone to make you realize that you are a newbie in life no matter what your age is.

When I was younger, middle eastern countries used to be terrifying and scary to me. Maybe because the way these countries are portrayed by media can sometimes be negatively biased. But that has all changed when I visited Abu Dhabi and experience it first hand.

It's exhilarating to forget what's familiar for a bit and expand your horizons. Once you do, there is no better feeling than taking on unfamiliar territory and making it familiar. All it takes is pulling the trigger, and you'll come home with endless stories.

2. IT DE-STRESSES YOU

It helps us break our behavioural patterns when we feel like too many days look the same. It's also a great way to add a new dimension to your life, which makes the hustle bearable.

As cliche as it sounds, sometimes we don't know how to handle issues and what we want to do, until we step away from our family, friends, workmates and tune in to our inner voice. Travel gives you the space to just be you and think alone in a way you could never do back home. It's so much easier to deal with issues and solve problems when you look at them from the outside. It gives you a lot of time to think without destructions and make healthy decisions.

3. YOU GET TO TASTE DIFFERENT TYPES OF FOOD

Life is too short to eat the same type of food every single day. Imagine there's a book with thousands of pages and you read over and over the same first page never turning it once, that's how most people live their lives. I never thought that pelmini, sushi and kimchi would become some of my favorite dishes in the world until i tried them country to country. Try a restaurant serving ethnic food and avoid the touristic ones with equivalent food from home.

As a cook, I cannot go to a restaurant in a foreign country without mentally reverse engineering the food that I am eating. Many times your waiter will tell you the recipe. Afterwards, I try them out in my kitchen. Not only it gives me the pleasure of eating the food, but also helps me become a better cook.

4. IT IS A MORE ADVANCED FORM OF EDUCATION

Traveling is like condensed education. So many scales and new forms of interconnected knowledge merged together in a travel experience. It gives you a detail of insights whether about Geography, History, International events or even Language which others only study in school books. It makes you realize how much you don't know, and it opens your mind and broads your perspective. These absorbed information will stick around a lot longer than what you learn from school. After all, experience is the best teacher of all.

5. YOU MEET NEW PEOPLE

The best part of traveling is the people you meet along the way. I've found out that it is extremely rare to come across another traveler who isn't eager to hear your stories, where you've been, or where did you come from. You listen to their stories, tell yours, share the same interests, hear various opinions and experience things together with people.

Some of my favorite friendships are the ones I found from traveling. To name a few: with a Mexican guy called Arnold and a Danish old man named Ben. During a carnival in Veracruz, a man named Arnold approached me and asked stuff about my camera, turns out he is a blogger from Tampico who came to celebrate the carnival. He gave me a liter of local beer and took me to his group of friends and partied all night. The other one is with Ben, who offered me a lift to Esbjerg downtown because he was worried that I'd be walking longer than i thought. And the list goes on. Who would have thought that simple situations like these help you build relationships that would last a lifetime.

It is a beautiful thing to say that you're friends with people around the planet.

6. YOU START TO UNDERSTAND OTHER CULTURES

Living somewhere completely different gives you a new perspective that's different from just hearing or reading about it. People fear what they don't know or don't understand. Just because someone lives in another geography than you do, their skin color is different, and they believe different religion than you, it doesn't mean they don't share the same emotions. When you travel, you'll find that most people are good and welcoming, and they'll share with you what they have in order to make you feel good.

The act of being somewhere new allows you to fully immerse yourself and appreciate that new place, from the people, the language, the clothing, and everything in between. Taking the time to interact with the local culture is the way to experience and appreciate it fully. Again, this can't be taught, only experienced.

7. YOU'RE EXPOSED TO NEW IDEAS

Whether you are staring at a menu realizing you have no idea what the items are, or jumping on a bus that you hope will get you somewhere familiar, traveling is exciting. It forces you to do new things, and it's gonna be easy after the first couple of times which eventually makes you learn the system. Being in new territory will probe new ideas and curiosities- what the local customs are, the local food, what language is spoken and religious practices. It gives you a better understanding, and therefore turning these curiosities into discoveries. This will then make you hungry to learn more, ask questions and completely immerse yourself into a new place.

8. IT MAKES YOU MORE INDEPENDENT

One goal in life is to be independent. Meaning, if it comes to it, you're own set of tools is enough to keep you going. Most parents are overprotective and do not allow their children to face the hardships in life until it's too late. You grow up in a bubble, and the reality hits you like a brick on the face. When you travel, you will learn one of life's most important skills, self reliance.

I remember the first time I visited Venice, I was alone by myself, only got 2 euros in my pocket (I had enough cash but in a different currency which isn't acceptable in the local area), without an internet connection and even got lost, since the city was pretty sketchy. It didn't bother me. Instead, you'll find it more valuable. Nothing like being lost in Venice where every corner has beautiful little bridges that serves you a very peaceful view. One's paddling the Gondola, while some walks slowly and taking their time, with their eyes mesmerized. You have to trust yourself and understand that life's circumstances aren't bad at all and sometimes it'll lead you to somewhere even more beautiful.

9. IT FORCES YOU TO BE MORE SOCIAL

People says we're always connected because of how technology develops. But a digital world is an invisible world. Sometimes, people lack of personality because they no longer go out to form one. Due to our indoor existence, we are forming our personalities based on almost the same type of pattern provided on the internet, until we become products of what companies wants us to be. When we travel, we get to have real life conversations, talking to people we don't know and learning from them. Our connection should be invested in real people, from our neighborhood to the world.

10. THERE WILL BE NO MORE WARS

It's only when you travel that you will realize how big and diverse our world really is, but also how similar we are as one people. What if world war III would happen. The people that will be harmed are the people you became friends with, the people you met in the cafe, or in carnival, people who gave you a lift, gave you recipes, people who smiled at you on the streets, or the receptionists who are very courteous, the children you saw on their way to school because they have dreams. You will realize it's never going to be okay to see them injured or get killed. I think, even world leaders would feel the same.

People are our most treasured gifts in this life. Go meet them. Let them see we are all one too. If we could do that, we can change the world. One traveling peace maker at a time.

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