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the-goddess-of-mischief-writing · 3 years

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New York High Rise {1}

Chapter summary; During all your years as the most successful mob boss of New York, no-one have ever dared to seriously battle for the crown with you. Up until now. Steven Grant Rogers, son of the infamous mob boss Joseph Rogers, has suddenly chosen you as his rival. Who will be winning in the end?

Pairing: Steve x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Chapter 1/5

Word; 5.9k

Warnings; swearing is standard in my works, mentions of canon-type violence

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: I actually started this series on a whim and all of a sudden ended up having four chapters. I really love it for some reason, maybe because it such a powerplay and I’m a hoe for that trope, especially when it’s a enemies to lovers story. Anyhow, enough of my rambling, I hope you guys enjoy this little mid week update! PSA: If you want to be tagged in the series, jus send me an ask!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Golden chains and champagne. Fancy watches and whiskey on the rocks. Whatever related to the word expensive you were associated with. Although, unlike many others in your business, you hadn't grown up in this world of luxury, nor had you inherited the empire you now were the boss of, enabling you to live the extravagance life you did. No, you were one of the few who'd worked their ass off to earn every last thing you owned.

By most, your efforts looked like a great business mind and some luck. How else could you've become a multi-millionaire on investing in stocks? But to others, those knowing the flipside of the coin, they knew your success in capitals was nothing but a cover for your stealthy work in the shadows. It was a dance, one with feline grace, that you'd performed to reach your position. A status meaning you were one of the most famous mob bosses in New York City.

When hearing mafia, most would think of the old Italian image of people smoking cigars in fedoras, with some moustache that looked similar to pencil lines on their upper lip. Those who owned cities and the whole country knew of it but could do nothing about it.

Perhaps some of these stereotypes suited the older godfathers of New York, who sat proudly on their pedestals and watched the world pass by. But you were different from them. You didn't just watch the world continue and progress by itself. You moved along with it.

You were the new generation.

Compared to the godfathers, who every last person in New York and the bordering states knew off, you had two faces. One you showed the public and one you ruled the underworld with. To society, you were spotless, a name associated with nothing but a sharp mind and benevolence to the public. But you were at the top in the underworld syndicate, the biggest of the biggest. Yet, you didn't rule with fear, simply that of uttermost respect and earned trust. In other words, your reputation or connections weren't bought. They were deserved.

Thus, compared to the older generations, your face could be recognised by a civilian or someone from the underworld, none thinking about calling the police or betraying your trust. You owned the city without it even knowing it.

It was from the way you'd reached this top in stunning silence, together with the grace you played everyone with, that you and your empire earned the alias felines. Like a tiger cub who grew into an adult, your empire was once the smallest but now the biggest. Like a lion, you evoke respect and awe no matter where you went. Like a cat no one cared about, you could cross the streets without an issue in public.

Some of the elders, at least those who were your allies, had expressed their concern of your brassiness. 'Why play cat and mouse with fate?' they often said. But you always answered the same 'I am the cat'. And it was true. Despite some of those opposed to your methods, or just you in general, took the chances they could at picking you off the map. No one ever succeeded. Solely for one reason.

Now, you deemed agreeing to one of your first ever business deals the best choice you ever made. Although it meant you financed some of the worlds leading underground tech corporation with quite some substantial coin, the panthers were nowadays always watching over you. They lingered in the shadows, disarming every try at putting a bullet through your skull.

Albeit not as famous as yourself or the organisation you ran, the Black Panther Operation the sibling pair T'Challa and Shuri operated was, in no shape or form, not impressive. They'd established themselves as the leading organisation, even if not known by half of the people in New York, in the tech area. Not only were they invaluable to the numerous politicians wanting them to work under the radar to get the upper hand on sovereign states, but they also were to you.

They hadn't only supplied you with their physical protection of their elite bodyguards, the Dora Milaje or in common-tongue known as the shadow panthers, but their tech as well. Although, compared to anyone who would've been in your position and chosen the weapons or impenetrable bodysuit that Shuri, ever the genius she was, had invented, you'd chosen one of the other assets. The cloud, the internet.

Hackers were the way forwards compared to warriors. They were the weapon of keeping you one step ahead of anyone by supplying you with the information needed to be able to hold someone's life in your hands.

It was only to look back at the countless occasions anyone tried to persuade you into a business deal you would do nothing but lose at. Thanks to Shuri having dug out the facts that could bring any of your rivals down in the dumps, you'd walked victorious away anyways.

You were certain any of the other godfathers would've killed someone for even thinking, no less trying, to propose a disreputable arrangement with them in the first place. Yet, you knew how much one ever could make a death look like a self-caused accident, that in the end, people would start to wonder why it happened to people of the same background, connected to one and the same empire. However, the former generations didn't really care about bad publicity anyway, so why would they care about lining the street with dead bodies? But the difference was you weren't them.

By all means, some would say your ways was far more torturous than a bullet between the eyes. You wouldn't agree or disagree, only say it was just. Involving a legal and judicial battle was the new way of handling conflicts, after all. It was more efficient than having to wash the blood of your name all the time, according to you. Not only that, you gained a lot more than just a dead body.

You were in somewhat of partnership with most bosses around the city. Those you weren't, rather those you'd only settled a deal with that said "as long as you kept to each of your own territory nothing would happen", did try to bend the rules and use the terror tacit. Either they targeted you personally or something equally as important in your part of the city. It could be anything that would get to you, really. But, no matter what they did, they tried to not do it themselves. Instead, hire a hitman or someone equally as bad. The problem with this was that these people's records were far from innocent, something you used to your advantage.

If you tasked Shuri to find anything and everything these people had done, it was easy to find a person they'd wronged and who sought revenge or justification. The only thing you did was play your hand well, usually meaning you pulled some strings and supply the money. While T'Challa, as the expert he was on it, handed out the information his sister had gathered to reliable sources. Your collaboration made the person you hunted sit opposite someone from their past in a courtroom. Most of the times, they also lost the case.

Choosing to do this rather than go rampage and fire your gun aimlessly meant you settled as a second, or sometimes even third or four-hand source to what went down. So not only did your name remain clear despite answering a rivals offence, your involvement was nearly impossible to track as well. Thus, you could take down five of a rivals' men while they only took one of yours.

Despite one could call you out on hypocrisy, saying that the shadow panthers protecting you didn't own the same benevolence and were quick and silent in their killing, there was one reason you didn't care about the fact. Currently, they may be under a shared command, but their never-ending allegiance was always towards the founders of the Black Panther Operation. If either Shuri or T'Challa said stand back or decided to cut their deal with you, the shadow panther's protection would disappear. The same went if you chose to rip the contract.

However, it was a slim chance that either of the siblings or you would terminate your arrangement. Seeing how now, years later, you still were the sole person working a continuous agreement with them. That was why nowadays, your and theirs organisations were nearly associated as the same by most in the underworld.

Your style of ruling New York and living such different lives in the light and dark made others in your profession joke you were the sole one with an ordinary life. That you were no traditional mafia, simply a highly functioning business-orientated company that invested in stocks. However, both you and everyone around you knew that wasn't true. The reason? You weren't afraid to use every last of your assets to remain in control of your empire. Whatever it took.

And that was a promise someone the last months had put up to the test.

You don't know what set it off, perhaps the old saying of cats and dogs never working well together. Or that because you were at the top drew enough confidence out of someone to try and knock you down. For whatever reason, someone decided to start a ruckus with you.

It had begun small enough you had no idea that someone was behind it. Connections or deals with companies connected to your empire backing out of contracts in the last seconds, saying they got a better offer. The word secrecy, frequently used for ones own safety in the world you lived in, was a term you'd heard enough times by now to grow tired of. It was no significant agreements, seeing how you were well enough to not care about money, but it was plenty bothersome for your pride.

The next step in the escalation had been dealings slightly more important than a question of money, which was your territory and thereby also safety. You still had some meetings with a few godfathers, had fore some time actually. It was mostly those who once had opposed you in the days you weren't a threat or those who just tried to live secludedly enough that they died by natural causes rather than in a cell or from rivalry.

Each of those conferences had been about securing your grip on Manhattan. Primarily to obtain some neighbourhoods closest to Harlem Park and the northern part of the Inwood neighbourhood. Both of which currently was in some sort of grey zone. Meaning neither owned by them nor you. Although those areas were still not written as yours, concerning how those old bosses abruptly didn't seem to want to seal any deals that they weeks ago had agreed on.

Then you'd entered the third stage. The one that made you understand all these cancellations wasn't merely coincidence, but somebody working against you. People from both your closest crew and the Black Panther section had been disappearing. It wasn't uncommon. Your business was nothing but personal feelings and wants most of the times. However, concerning how few men and women you'd lost under your watch, this sudden increase was off-putting.

Closer to the truth was something like this had never happened to this extent before. You hadn't had people close to you or anyone associated with you abducted. However, the worst thing was that the bodies of those disappearing were never not found bloody or in a morgue.

Money or failing to persuade old godfathers wasn't something you took personal, but when people started dropping like flies around you, that you took personally. Hence, you, Shuri and T'Challa worked endlessly on finding who was behind it.

Almost every time, you found the culprit of the act, but not the big boss behind it all. Disabling you from taking more than one person out of play. That your jaw hadn't broken for how much you'd clenched it in frustration, or your teeth shattered from the amount you gritted them was a mystery. You hunted the person ordering these things, yet with no success.

Although one day, when one of the subordinates in your very own team had been missing for a week returned, barely clinging to their consciousness, you'd gotten to know who this new rival of yours was.

Steven Grant Rogers.

The canines, an alias for the Rogers family, were equally known as any of the old US President in the underworld in New York. If one hadn't heard of them in your profession, it was more likely that you already were dead or not in it all because they were notorious.

They'd ruled Brooklyn with an iron fist and was probably the crown specimen of the reputation that accompanied the word mafia. There was a grace in their affairs and killing. But compared to your work, which was performed in shadows and silence, they flaunted it, not scared of running from the police because they already knew they never would be caught.

From what you knew, they'd fallen off somewhat after Joseph Rogers, the head of the Canine Empire, died in one of the rivalries between mobs. His death had been years before you were even born, close to an age it was as high of a chance he could've passed from natural causes. Still, the commotion and continuous dispute following his disappearance and the unclear leadership had served as a fall for the Canine Empire. There was no doubt your rise to the same amount of power as the former union possessed would've been as easy if you'd had them as your opponents.

However, now, it seemed like the past would haunt you down in the form of Joseph Rogers son.

Albeit you never met the new boss of the Canines, there was no doubt you considered, for the first time, to personally put a bullet through someone's head. Steven Grant Rogers was as ruthless as stories told his father had been. He'd even been labelled the golden boy of Brooklyn, rumoured to restore the brutal power of the Canine Empire. Yet, the spot he was reaching for with old alliances regrouping to boost him to the top was a position you currently occupied.

This is where the difference between if you'd had a regular business organisation and the domain you now did, settled in. You went on total offense.

You contacted T'Challa and Shuri, calling them in for a meeting. Even though the pair knew of what had happened so far, they were your partners and thus, you would discuss the actions you would take with them, even if your deal said nothing of that sort. But you knew, compared to your rival, it seemed, how important it was to hold onto your closest allies with other methods than fear and the threat of death. And thus, you also received the help of a friend rather than a business partner.

It must've been the bloodiest month in the last decade from the rivalry that blossomed up between the Felines and Canines the second you started to answer the new top dog's advances. You got reports that the shadow panthers watching your back had cleared more people putting you up as a target than in a long time. As well, did more of the people under your name end up red in back allies.

Then it shifted. As soon as you started getting trails of more people than just the executioners, you were suddenly able to take out divisions of his minions. And while the killing went on, you started winning the big battles. In other words, while Steven continued to play it hard, you started to play smart.

You cut off deals he could do in Brooklyn, much harsher and unforgiving than his initials ones on your side of the East River. It was everything from supplies, to money, to the extra set of eyes. Everything to limit him to sources you knew he wouldn't be happy with having to resort to. While handling this, with the help from Shuri, you also broadened your search to find every little dirty-worker under the mob boss's command. Thanks to those now operating for you on the Brooklyn side, you helped people who'd had a past with Steven's men tip police of and capture them.

Pawn by pawn, you lessened the number of ways the Canine boss could run in taking down your empire. You had him cornered, already several moves ahead of him whatever he chose to do. Only, it was one step you thought he never would do that, in the end, made everything come to a skidding halt.

He'd requested a parley.

"Y'know I don't really like the idea of you meeting him", you didn't look up from the papers you currently were reading to look at Shuri where she lounged on your office's couch.

Though it felt like you should examine the folder that rested in your handbag -the one containing the event plans for the charity event you would host for the many high society individuals and governors, or anyone with money really, in two weeks- those documents weren't the ones you were looking through now.

It was five days ago since Steven had asked for the parlay. Ever since then, you'd worked on the deal you would offer him. You had no desire to sign whatever he would hand to you. And you knew he would propose something. The Canine boss was the challenger, after all. Even more so, the one requesting a meeting from the start. Thus, he, for one, would offer something to cease your continuous confrontations and two, he would try to drag you down while elevating himself. That you couldn't have.

"I know", you finally responded when having read the side you were on in the contract you had put together for your rival. "Still, I want to hear what the man has to say so I can stop losing resources, time and people", you turned to the next page as you said this.

There came no response immediately despite that you felt Shuri was looking at you. You'd gotten good at noticing this, someone observing you. Hence, even though the best of the panthers always were safeguarding you somewhere in the crowds, it never hurt to not solely depend on others for your own safety. Because that was what your constantly high attentiveness was for anyways. To always be keen on your surroundings and try to detect someone's move before they did it.

"It's almost interesting to see someone challenge you for the position of being the big boss, Lekati", it wasn't only at the reserved nickname Shuri used that caught your attention. The rest of what she'd said also made you pause mid-turn of the last page, eyes automatically shifting to her.

Now, instead of sprawling across the piece of furniture the women occupied, she sat upright with a smile ghosting her lips. Your eyes narrowed as you noted this.

"Oh, stop imagining using your sharp claws on me".

"I wasn't".

"You're a bad liar when you want to be", the tech mogul pointed out with a finger directed towards you. Your features stayed indifferent despite the fact that her remark had been correct.

"When will your brother be back?" The dark-haired women cocked a brow at your sudden change of topic.

"Any minute, I suppose, why?"

"He's more pleasant to have around while I try to work, less chatty", an incredulous snort left Shuri as she crossed her arms, leaning back against the couch's backside. Her reaction made your stoic facade drop somewhat, causing the side of your mouth to tug upwards. It was an act she caught and couldn't help but shake her head at.

"I never get tired of not knowing whether you're about to send half of the city after me or simply are in a playing mood", your repressed smile bloomed into a fully-fledged one, amused by Shuri's comment.

"Opt for the latter for as long as those couple of hundred thousand dollars are rolling into your account". Averting your eyes from the women you were speaking to, you once again inspected the bunch of papers before you.

Having worked on them for days and ever since this morning re-reading the contract, you knew it was worded to perfection. There were no loopholes nor any unnecessary losses for either part. So, for as long as Steven didn't belong to the old saying of 'it’s hard to learn an old dog to sit', you knew his signature would decorate the last page.

"However, you should worry about the day when the money is missing", you hummed while stacking the papers orderly, putting them back into the same folder they'd been stored since you'd gotten the paper copies of the transcript.

"Would that be my sign to start running?" You looked up again, instantly meeting Shuri's humoured look.

"It would probably be too late", you shrugged nonchalantly, placing the folder you would have to the meeting in your handbag in a swift motion while swivelling your chair to face her, rather than your desk as you'd done previously. As a chuckle was heard from the dark-haired woman, you crossed one leg over the other and leaned back in your seat.

"It's good that I'm your ally and not your foe".

"Good to hear you view yourself as a friend. Was fearing you would switch sides to my challenger's", you mused, arms coming to prop up against your armrest to support your head when you tilted it.

"I never would, even if I knew he had a chance to win", even though feeling somewhat relieved - because this world and one's alliances could change fast, no matter current contracts or friendships- when Shuri said this, you wouldn't show it. Therefore, instead of smiling at her belief that Steven had no chance of beating you at a game you had been the best player at for years, you simply kept observing the woman as she stood from the couch.

The young tech mogul started to make her way closer to you, a slight sheerness in her step that impersonated the glint in her eye. And you understood why for when she opened her mouth to speak.

"But you can't deny it's interesting someone is seriously trying to take you down", you rolled your eyes while you let your hand fall to tap against your thigh.

"Seems like you're more excited about it than me", you started, spinning your chair slowly to follow Shuri as she settled partly on the empty edge of your desk. She looked expectantly at you, waiting for an answer despite your deflection of it initially. For once, purely because of the topic, you complied. "But no, I definitely do not find it interesting", you sighed out.

"Oh, come on, Lekati...".

"Stop with the nickname", you cut her off with a roll of your eyes. However, instead of earning the quick nod of confirmation to follow your exasperated order, the dark-haired women grinned. Perhaps if it was anyone else than Shuri, you would've been irritated and sent them out of your office, but concerning you viewed her more as a friend than a simple job partner, you did neither when her teasing continued.

"Has the dog really gotten that much under your skin?" She chuckled. "Must be the first one... ever. Or correct me if I'm wrong?" You simply dropped your head and shook it. The young women were right and she knew she was. Steven was the sole one able to make you nearly lose your footing ever since claiming the crown of the underworld.

"Why couldn't he just stay put?" You mumbled under your breath, thumb smoothing out the wrinkles having settled between your brows. "We'd never heard of him before. Why decide to make himself known now all of a sudden? After years of silence?"

"Some men seek the satisfaction of bringing entities down, especially if they ruled it before and now it's overtaken by a woman", you looked up at Shuri. But instead of meeting her gaze, your eyes fell to the piece of paper she held up. Evidently, she'd plucked your Cartier pen and a sticky note from the stack always resting on your desk and written three letters on the piece of paper while you spoke. You, it stood on it.

"Thank you for the flattery", you replied, reaching forward to snatch the note from her. "But I would've prefered if Rogers hadn't, would spare me the task of crushing his ego", the brown-eyed women chuckled at that.

"Maybe he needs to take yours down a step or two too", you stood from your chair as she said this, dropping the slightly crumpled note you'd taken from her into the bin under your desk, then starting to head towards the mirror you had in your office.

"I don't have an ego. I simply know my self-worth".

"Sounds a lot like you're bordering on narcissism", she said in a sing-song voice. "Maybe you and his pride can go on a date. I bet they would rule New York happily ever after", you couldn't suppress a chuckle at Shuri's words, whether you wanted to show how absolutely hilariously unbelievable it was or not.

"Can't your brother come and save me from your antics?" You muttered, spotting the smile the genius behind you sported in the mirror. It was meant for her to hear, so you weren't shocked when she responded to the banter.

"I actually prefer his absence. The two of you together nearly drown me in the seriousness", Shuri complained dramatically. You amusedly rolled your eyes before settling to look at your chosen attire.

Compared to how far away you stood from tradition in the godfather's senses, it was one custom you fulfilled like the rest of them. You believed that the clothes made the man. And, for a meeting like the one you soon would go to, you didn't hesitate to strive for that effect.

You knew Steven was old fashioned. Everything he did cried it. So, of course, you would try to throw him off at every point you could. The skirt and dress were switched out for a suit, midnight black. It was a loose fit and probably matched the high-end fashion more than traditional meeting standards, but you didn't genuinely worry. You were here to show you are the new generation and wouldn't budge because you were the sole women in New York running a syndicate. Doing the best job at it as well.

However, if the man you would meet would frown upon women in a suit, the lace bodysuit, black as well, you wore instead of a dress shirt would probably give him a heart attack. It covered enough but were in no way domesticated and left the upper part of your chest bare. It was a great way to show off the two thin chains of gold decorating your neck.

For some reason, your eyes lingered on the golden metal shining from the light trickling into your office. You started to fiddle with the necklace then, concentrating on how they weren't cold but rather heated up from your body temperature.

You became lost in your own world, fingers splaying over the hollow in your throat to absentmindedly play with the chains there while you thought about the meeting that was rapidly coming closer.

The action, together with the far-away look you stared at your movement in the mirror, was something that caught Shuri's attention.

"Relax", instantly your eyes flickered up to watch her in the mirror's reflective surface as if snapped from a daze. She'd shifted, so she now sat on the front of your desk, head turned in your direction. "It'll go good".

"Wasn't it you who said that you didn't want me to meet him in the first place?" You began to challenge her words of reassurance, hand falling from your skin to instead hang by your side. Not until you'd turned and cocked your brow at her did you continue. "That must insinuate you don't think it will go good", she simply shrugged when you said this.

"I did say I don't like his sudden call for a conference and that you accepted it in the first place", she began, crossing her feet at the ankle and looking down at the movement momentarily before her gaze found yours once more. "But that doesn't mean I don't think it will go good. I know it will. You're good at your job", you smiled at that. You already knew that you worked great under pressure, or else you wouldn't be standing on top of the empire you ruled. Although, it was always comforting to hear it from someone else.

Fittingly, in the next second, a knock on your door echoed in the room, effectively putting an end to your previous conversation with the women perched on your desk.

"Enter", you called without hesitating, as soon as both your and Shuri's attention also turned to the entrance. The guard stationed outside of your room didn't need to inform you of who'd wanted to enter. You already knew it was T'Challa. And as the guard opened the heavy door to your office and held it open for whoever had requested it, indeed it was Shuri's brother stepping through the doorway.

You didn't more than slightly tip your head to acknowledge the guard's nod of respect your way before he closed the door. Primarily because you spotted the slate grey folder the older of the children of T'Chaka held. It was the call about the seemingly insignificant object being completed that had interrupted the earlier discussion you, Shuri and T'Challa had. Your assemblage hadn't been much more than some minor last discussions and to wait for the folder the man now walking through the room held. Thus the portfolio contained a report, the ultimate attempt of finding anything that could aid you in the meeting with Steven.

"Anything good?" You skipped the unnecessary greetings as you gestured to the portfolio in T'Challa's hand while walking closer to your desk, which also was where he was heading.

"Look for yourself", when he said this, the brown-eyed mad held out the folder for you to take. You did but didn't open it until you'd rounded the counter and sat down in your chair again.

You didn't know what you'd expected to meet you, but a photo and a single sheet of paper weren't it.

For a moment, you stared at the picture resting on top of the report underneath it. Presumably, it should've been a photo of Steven sitting in some club. Although it was blurry and had no great exposure, which made it impossible to tell much about his appearance. Still, you knew it was him or else the picture wouldn't be here. However, it did nothing to help you paint a picture of the man which name so far seemed to be faceless.

Putting the picture to the side, you quickly started to eye the document. You scanned it, finding it contained random facts citing what properties the Canine boss had invested in, even owned. Apparently, Steven managed several clubs, which would explain why his first suggestion of a meeting place had been just that. Other than that, he owned some other businesses that wasn't much to cheer for. All infected by alcohol and drugs by the looks and names. Classical.

"This all?" You finally questioned after turning the sheet over, finding the backside blank. When glancing up, you saw T'Challa nodding. You clenched your jaw and looked back down at the paper.

Ever since Steven had asked for an official meeting, between your eyes only, as his message had been clear to state, you'd requested for the siblings to find out whatever they could about him. You wanted the advantage you knew he couldn't get over you. Thus, what was publicly known of you wasn't anything to hide. And frankly, he was more than welcome to read the articles that had written things about you. Yet, every secret of yours, or anything you'd deemed unfitting for anyone to know, had been wiped. No one could ever find something about you that you didn't want on the internet. Though, it seemed you weren't the only one sitting on resources like that.

Albeit the "new mob boss" was discussed in several articles, Steven's name had no face in any of them. In general, there was no picture of him or much information to track him down by either. So, despite your best efforts, now it seemed you didn't have much more than your hunch to go on during the meeting.

"I do not think it's wise to meet him", T'Challa said, much like his sister had earlier. With a sigh, you leaned back in your chair, fingers releasing the paper you'd gripped to pinch the bridge of your nose instead.

"Neither of you wants me to meet him, do you?" At first, silence met you, which made you look up the sibling pair. They shared a glance before Shuri turned slightly to look at you and her brother crossed his arms.

"No", they said simultaneously, which made you huff.

"I may like it as little as you two, but it put a temporary pause to the conflict. And if he comes to accept my terms, maybe that will remain".

"And what if he doesn't?" T'Challa inquired, receiving a frown from his sister, while you simply tilted your head down to look at your watch. "What if he refuses to tuck tail?" He continued to push.

"He won't", you stated, rising up from your chair, handbag now in your grip. It was three minutes until your driver would be here, so you needed to start heading down to the spot he would pick you up in. Yet, you were stopped in your tracks by a hand gripping your upper arm lightly.

"But what if?"

"T'Challa!" Shuri hissed at the unrespectful way her brother insisted on having his questions answered. She'd shot up from where she up until now had remained seated but before she could drag the man staring down at you with insistent eyes away, your raised the hand of your free arm. It stopped the younger women's movement, merely making her watch you and T'Challa.

There was a reason the siblings were able to run their tech operation as smoothly as they did. They complemented each other. What one lacked, the other possessed. For example, Shuri may own the belief everything was possible, then naturally, her brother would be more cautious. As in this instance. Hence, you didn't take any great offence to the dark-haired man's action, despite that your aloof tone could imply such a thing.

"What if he doesn't accept my deal after having me listen to whatever godawful settlement he offers me? Then I've kept my promise on meeting him for the parley he requested and one, which in the end, unfortunately, didn't establish an accord. Henceforth, our war will continue", you said, instantly feeling how T'Challa's hand fell from holding you back. Yet, you didn't pursue your track to the pick up you already was late for. Not until you assured him of one last thing.

"Let me remind you that he was the one that asked me for a meeting, not the other way around. He asked me for a temporary truce and a chance to negotiate. In the end, that shows who's the most desperate to settle an agreement, no matter the terms".

Translation:

Lekati = Kitten

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mallowstep · 3 years

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📖 (foxstride)

ask thingy

@foxstride

okay i mentioned this to you on discord but i didn't go into it but. okay. okay. the au where mistyfoot is hawk, moth, and tadpole's mother. this has been just. it's been chewing on my brain and i don't know when i'm going to write it so since u gave me a blank canvas, i'm going to ramble about it for as long as i can.

cw: implied/referenced sexual assault; brief suicidal ideation; standard tigerclan content (abuse, child abuse, starvation, dehumanization, etc.); referenced force feeding

okay oh my gosh okay. this has. so obviously i've been thinking about riverclan lately. a lot. it's rcam. anyway. i don't want. i'm trying to get to the point and not loop around aimlessly for two hundred words but okay but okay. anyway.

i've been thinking of all the different ways i can deeply traumatize misty, storm, and feather. and maybe stone. maybe i'll let stone live at some point. that'd be fun.

right so i've been thinking of that and my ideas are all over the place. i'm going to let primrosepaw live at some point. at one point i'm going to have stormpaw, and maybe primrosepaw or reedpaw (and...what's the other one? is it perchpaw or pikepaw? whatever) the point is i'll have some collection of stormpaw and some or all of mistyfoot's kits escape but not misty and feather so we can do survivor's guilt and.

anyway so i was writing the excerpt for the primrosepaw is definitely there au (it's kind of not Tethered because most of these aren't mutually incompatible like that au could be any of the others), and tigerstar has that dialogue about kits yeah?

so when i was writing it, i was thinking about just. he's trying to dehumanize all of them, right? that's his goal with that line. he's separating mistyfoot from her kits, trying to erase the meaning of their relationships. that's like. that's what i was considering when i was writing it.

buuuuuuut. y'know. my brain is chewing on it. and it just. hm. Hm. what if. what If tadpole, moth, and hawk were misty and tiger kits. hm. hmm. hm.

and so i am just instantly. very on board with this. there's so much potential.

so i Think the point of canon divergence is the rescue attempt. i haven't decided if stormpaw is successfully rescued or not. featherpaw doesn't for reasons i'm circling around to, but stormpaw may or may not. it certainly Matters in a broad sense but i haven't made up my mind, and i doubt i'm going to write Multiple aus about this. i mean i might u never know but it'd b like writing an alternate stolag: i mean i suppose i Could but it would feel weird.

okay almost burnt my dinner i said i'm very this has just been slowly rotting my brain out. i like Angst and it's been a while since i've written any.

okay there was fmtws but really that got me started. i'm not a fluff person. and y'all know that by now.

so Back On Topic. so Anyway after the rescue attempt fails/partially fails, tigerstar takes his anger out at the apprentices being Alive on featherpaw and she gets to. uh. help tigerclan practice fighting.

"Let me see her," Mudfur hissed. "No," Tigerstar said. "I've told you." Mudfur growled. Featherpaw dragged herself to her feet, and Mistyfoot glanced back at her. They would leave they would leave they would leave and then she could lie down again and try not to think. "You're not my leader," Mudfur said, and Featherpaw winced. Mistyfoot could see what was going on, but she was sitting still as a stone. Mudfur pressed into their — Mudfur pressed in, laying a wrapped bundle at Mistyfoot's feet. "Let me—" "No," Mistyfoot said. "Just go." Mudfur dipped his head. Tigerstar's steps moved away from them, but the shouts and arguments surrounding Mudfur were just buzzing noise in Featherpaw's head. She made out, "She's going to die," and she thought, that wouldn't be the worst thing.

thank You featherpaw. you will suffer for the au as a whole. anyway this takes place...i'm not Quite sure but mistyfoot does have a reason for not letting mudfur in. and that reason is she is in Denial about being pregnant.

if mudfur comes in he'll know (i have not forgotten that cats can smell unlike the erins), and mistyfoot is acting in denial. altho she rationalizes it to herself as being for mudfur's protection: runningnose is a medicine cat too, and so tigerstar could off mudfur without much effort.

(also i tend to mix up mudfur and mudclaw sometimes understand i am talking about the riverclan medicine cat, not the windclan deputy. i just mistype them sometimes.)

anyway so she has a legitimate reason (mudfur's continual survival, which is better for her and featherpaw longterm), and she does not want mudfur to know.

yeah.

all in all, this happens before the great battle. mistyfoot fights in it (again, denial), featherpaw and stormpaw are reunited (yes i think i made up my mind), (wait maybe stonefur lives too, and then both pairs of siblings reconnect, and stonefur is like "oh Shit" and. okay yes. maybe. i don't know.)

(there's a Lot. ohh maybe. wait best of both worlds okay. mistyfoot Thinks stonefur is dead. but stonefur doesn't get a proper burial but at the same time riverclan is Not going to go for their deputy on bonepile and even if they do go for it, they're not going to stripe his bones nor are they going to let a Physical Cat Corpse rot in camp. so when firestar and greystripe rescue stormpaw, stormpaw Insists they go back for his body, and then they realize he's Alive but obviously mistyfoot doesn't know.)

(there then i get the Best of both worlds. and stonefur and feathertail are in the Chronic Pain club.)

(also the thing w/ fighting is also what happens in "someday when the world is much brighter". not that Particular scene or in that Particular way, but it does happen. i mean almost exactly in that particular way. but that scene is from a different fic.)

anyway okay moving on i did add too much chili powder to my dinner but that's fine i'm still not over when someone refused to give me more harissa because "it's spicy" like yes i know i guarantee my mom makes it spicier.

back on topic sorry. i've been writing this as i do other things bc i have so much to say about this and i don't want to wait for tomorrow to share this because it's been just Rotting away my brain.

anyway so siblings reunite. it's...terse. it's complicated.

there's some parallels going on right? like because both featherpaw and stormpaw are basically in the mindset of looking after their mentors (which mistyfoot and stonefur feel Terrible about), everyone has survivor's guilt (i don't know what to call like, survivor's guilt when it's not actually survivor's guilt so if someone has a correct word please let me know) except for Maybe featherpaw.

featherpaw might be the Only one here who doesn't have survivor's guilt. i don't really want to explore the one way she could end up with it. that's past my comfort level at the moment.

but stormpaw and mistyfoot are the most physically healthy, and stormpaw and stonefur escaped.

stormpaw: i have not been hurt by this in any way

everyone around stormpaw: you have definitely been hurt by this

stormpaw: i have not been hurt by this in any way

stormpaw and featherpaw become warriors, leopardstar makes mistyfoot deputy (because stonefur is still recovering and also no longer wants the position. mistyfoot doesn't either but she's in denial and she doesn't want anyone else to have it. mistyfoot is visibly pregnant and still kind of in denial at this point. like it's been at least a moon and she is refusing to talk about it.)

right so i think stormpaw's name is going to be stormheart because i don't know it was always weird to me that stormfur and stonefur have the same suffix. like given Everything that's going on it feels weird to me. ig it'd actually be less weird in this, given that stonefur is still alive, but do you know How Close stonefur and stormfur are. they're one consonant cluster off. they're One consonant cluster off.

so leopardstar names him stormheart. feathertail can keep her name because it's pretty.

mistyfoot is a moon away from kitting. she refuses to talk about it. to anyone. whatsoever.

feathertail and stonefur decide to stage an intervention.

(they leave stormheart out not because he's not part of the found family, but because mistyfoot literally will not tolerate a single word about this. like a single word. like she will growl at you if you look at her stomach for too long.

so given the fairly high odds that mistyfoot gets violent, they keep stormheart out of it. she's the least likely to attack stonefur and feathertail.

stormheart finds out about this later and is like "do you guys realize if this went south you had absolutely 0 control over the situation. like what are you guys going to do. you incapable of doing anything to stop her if something goes wrong."

feathertail is like "yes. that's the point."

feathertail is both kind of right and also very internally messed up from being used for "training" when she wasn't allowed to fight back. feathertail also hates if you call her by just her prefix. she does not tell anyone this. misty is aware of this, and she tells stone and storm, and riverclan does eventually figure it out. plus it's not like feathertail is close enough to anyone else for them to call her "feather".

okay i'm getting off topic sorry i've been working on a tpb thing for swtwimb, and the one scene i have is cats making fun of her for not fighting back (again she is not allowed to they might kill her if she does), so they call her "featherkit" and that eventually gets brought down to feather and i'm rambling anyway On topic again.)

so stonefur and feathertail are like. "mistyfoot you are like. a half moon away from kitting. it is impairing your ability to do warrior duties. you need to like. acknowledge this."

anyway after a very terse conversation. after a veeery terse conversation, where mistyfoot is like. very close to just absolutely abandoning riverclan. they get her to admit that yes she is pregnant and yes she needs to stop doing warrior duties for the moment.

she wasn't exactly Healthy when she was pregnant because even tho tigerstar made a Point of making her like. eat enough to be healthy and also not violently attacking her. she had still been starved for...idk long enough for her ribs to show. i'm not sure what the exact timeline on this is yet.

also then After Tigerclan she did not eat as much as she should have because (a) denial and (b) she had been forcefed and so now she's. not doing that.

oh wow i've written long enough for my grammar checker to turn off again. that hasn't happened in ages.

all bets are off from here on out re grammar and spelling.

okay so mistyfoot isn't going to move into the nursery. i believe mosspelt has had a litter of 3 kits, or will have one as we see in asir, but mistyfoot isn't. she's not moving into it. stone, misty, storm, and feathertail share a den. no one else is allowed into it for Any Reason.

so anyway, they expand the den. riverclan as a whole might? i'm not sure who's good at weaving bc i don't have headcanons for this time period. probably not feathertail, but possibly stonefur. hm. anyway, they expand the den, mistyfoot will raise the kits in this den, everyone is on board with this.

mostly because it's this or mistyfoot like. runs away. which obviously no one wants. riverclan is on the side of...the four? riverclan is on the side of the four. even if they're not like, even though the four don't trust them, feathertail and misty especially (stone and storm tolerate it much better). but even tho things are complicated, riverclan is certainly going to do actions. they're certainly going to try to demonstrate their support.

okay so mistyfoot gives birth to her kits, and she is. not feeling good. about it. she's feeling terrible about it actually. she's feeling terrible about things. she doesn't want to name them.

usuuually in this situation, after the queens (collective) decided its in the best interest of the kits to be raised by someone other than their birth mother, the kits would be given to another queen.

but see. feathertail, stonefur, and stormheart are All attatched to these kits. deeply attatched to them. and mistyfoot is not willing to give them up either.

so mistyfoot isn't willing to give them up to another riverclan queen, and feathertail, stone, and storm all Want to raise them, and also don't want to give them to another queen.

the queens confer with mudfur that it is absolutely the worst possible thing they could do to forcibly remove the kits from mistyfoot. like that is the Worst option. they'd be lucky to get the kits alive, feathertail and mistyfoot are likely to abandon riverclan, and if misty and feathertail abandon riverclan, stone and storm will follow.

they're stuck in a standstill for a while. the four eventually do name them hawkkit, mothkit, and tadpolekit. the kits are about a moon old and ready to be weaned. mistyfoot is still extremely tense about the affair, but she's willing to part with them. she's able to recognize that's in the best interest of the kits, mosspelt's litter is about the same age, moving them into the nursery is going to give them a more normal upbringing, everyone is on the same page.

feathertail, who's having a lot of self worth issues, decides that moving into the nursery is her best bet for clan usefulness (which (a) feathertail you cannot keep up with kits and (b) the whole Place she's in is bad to begin with), moves in with them.

the kits decide feathertail is their mother now (they're old enough to understand that she didn't give birth to them, altho i haven't decided if they remember misty as their mother and if they're told any information re their birth parents depends exactly What kind of angst i want to write), and feathertail is. okay with this.

unlike asir, she's not blindsided with the tigerstar-is-their-father reveal, so she does have some issues with hawkkit reminding her of tigerstar, he's not really her Big Bad Trauma Nightmares. she has way more issues with the riverclan warriors directly involved in her abuse.

anyway, i don't know what happens tnp era stuff. i haven't gotten that far yet. maybe this will be another au where hawk and/or moth is a prophecy cat. i'm not sure. i haven't gotten farther than this.

but here you go i started writing this like an hour and a half ago and while i did stop to eat, i also just finally put everything i have for this au on one page and i hope and pray that will stave off the brainrot until i have a chance to actually write it.

#long #like 2.5k words of me just Talking #but this has just been consuming my brain holy shit #thanks for giving me unrestrained access to just talk about it #also like for anyone interested in this ask game #i'm not going to give you something this dark #unless you ask off anon and i know you're okay with that #i already mentioned this to fox #usually i don't talk about anything above pg-13 on tumblr but this has been literally rotting my brain away #i have never meant brain rot so literally #ask #ask game #mine #txt

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pastiel · 3 years

Note

I was wondering if you have any headcanons for NiGHTS actually! My personal favorite is ADHD NiGHTS,,

I don’t want to share too many headcanons because NiGHTS’ ‘Real Clown Ramble’ post is coming out later this month... I wanna save all the juicy stuff for that, however I have a ton of headcanons for NiGHTS!

- I do not believe those goodles would easily be able to catch NiGHTS. Perhaps for plot convenience, but lets take them out of a linear game. NiGHTS is, first and foremost, a speedy, acrobatic, and downright tenacious flier. What is stopping NiGHTS from, oh I don’t know, actually putting up a fight? Literally nothing. Nothing is stopping them. So, quite personally, if I rewrote JoD they’d go kicking and screaming lemme tell ya-

- Though it might not seem apparent, NiGHTS is a lover of literature. Specifically fictional novels or poetry. If you don’t see them playing a flute, they’re oftentimes reading, or writing something down. If a visitor equally loves literature, they’ll go on. For hours. Nonstop. “Have you heard about this book? Or this one? The ending to the first one is awful but to really understand you have to look at the characters-“

- NiGHTS will often go on small excursions to the waking world, within allowance of their capability and energy levels, of course. Normally it’s to visit (spy on) previous visitors to see if they’re doing well without them, or if they’ve accomplished something wonderful in their lives. Other times it’s just to fly around aimlessly, and get away from their troubles for a bit. However, the high can only last so long, and they eventually return home before the crash hits. Bothering NiGHTS during a mood crash is the same thing as bothering a rattlesnake when it hisses at you; ill advised, and will end you up with some nasty claw marks or wounded self esteem.

- If you’ve ever wondered, NiGHTS’ favorite season is the Spring. Something about life being reborn within the world is heartwarming to them. It’s not just that but the beauty of it all as well, and the fact that many dreamers have delicately floral dreams during the early moments of Spring. Their favorite flower is the Wisteria, and their favorite springtime creature is the Eastern Tiger Swallowtail.

Some short and sweet headcanons! Their ‘Real Clown Ramble’ post will come soon! Stay tuned uwu

#nights into dreams #nights journey of dreams #real clown ramblings #nights you’re such a funky jester #tbh in my headcanons they’re not so much as jester as they are a Venetian clown #which is basically just a jester but extremely fancy with elaborate clothes

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disneydreamlights · 4 years

Text

Cendrillon

FFN | AO3

Summary: Gula's job as a mercenary for hire means he never turns down a job, even if that job is killing the heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Vulpes. [GulAva]

A/N: Inspired by this. Originally this was written for the 2019 rarepairs zine but the tight deadlines combined with my busy work and class schedule did not work out, so I had to drop the zine and left this on the back burner for a while. Cue a sudden burst of creative energy this month and some determination and I returned to this fic to finally finish it almost a year later.

Gula pulled down on the mask once more, giving it a firm tug to make sure his face couldn’t be seen underneath the leopard styled mask. The masquerade ball tonight was important after all, Lady Ava of the Vulpes kingdom was going to be making her grand debut, and it would be best to make a good impression.

Or at least, that would be what most would be thinking as they prepared for tonight, but as Gula straightened out the tie on his golden yellow suit, he had a lot more pressing matters to be thinking about. The knife, hidden in his socks felt cold, just one of many hidden, but hired killers had to be prepared. It really was nothing against his mark, she probably was a fine girl, but this was his job.

“Name?” Gula smiled as the guard looked at him with no more scrutiny than any of the stuffy royals that had entered into ballroom that night.

“Ventus, of the Kingdom of Leopardus.” The guard nodded, likely assuming he was simply a lower noble. Which was fair, royalty in Leopardus changed often enough that even in the kingdom of its closest allies, it was difficult to keep track. As he officially entered the ballroom, he couldn’t help but reflect on how that had been a part of why he had been brought into the ball in the first place.

The man had entered Gula’s home about two weeks ago, shortly after Gula had returned home from his last mission. He was dressed in a black cloak, with his face fully hidden in its shadows. “Why hello there, it took you long enough to get here.”

“How did you get into my house? What do you want?”

“Easy there Tiger, I’m not here to make any enemies. I just need a favor, heard that you’re willing to do any jobs, legal or illegal, if the pay is high enough.”

“Most of my clients don’t stop by my home.”

“Yeah, well mine is a special task.”

Gula had raised an eyebrow at that. “What did you have in mind.”

A bag was placed on his desk, holding what looked like well over a few hundred thousand munny after a quick investigation of its contents.

“I need you to kill the crown princess of Vulpes, Lady Ava.”

The plan was most definitely simple enough. Sneak into the ball in her honor, find her, stab her, get out. Leave the leopard mask behind to implicate Leopardus. War would allow for whatever his name (X? He was pretty sure that was some part of the name given) to take over the kingdom, reinstate peace. Murder admittedly was not one of Gula’s usual tasks, but money talked, and true to the meaning of his name, he was never satisfied with what he had. Not to mention, there was so much wrong with the nobility anyways, even if an innocent had to die, a new ruler might mean a new chance to fix the world, he couldn’t complain about that. He wandered the floor aimlessly, enjoying the party for what it was, listening in on the conversations of the various nobles and sneaking some of the food while he waited for the princess’s presentation.

“Why aren’t you talking with the rest of the guests?” A girl’s voice rang caught his attention, as a young girl around his age stood in front of him. He hadn’t even noticed her approach. He took in any details about her he could. If he got caught and needed to clear up the loose ends, he would need to remember any details. She had pink hair, and a fox’s mask covering almost as much of her face as his own leopard mask.

“I’m not one for small talk, it doesn’t really have much point.” And it was true, small talk was hard to maintain, and he had no interest in learning about any of the nobles who would be out for his blood before the clock struck midnight.

The girl gave him a confused look. “If you don’t like small talk, then why are you at the party?”

“I like to dance.” It was the first excuse he could come up with, but she seemed amused by the way her mouth threatened to turn into a smile. This was bad, he didn't want to be remembered here. “I understand social niceties, even if they aren’t my favorite thing,” he added on afterwards, hoping she’d buy it.

She did, seeing as she nodded. “Who are you anyways, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a lord with blond hair as messy as yours.” She poked at one of the many spikes coming from his head, it was one of the few things of his natural appearance he’d retained.

“Ventus.” Gula used the same fake name he’d used for the guard earlier. Best to keep it simple.

“My name’s…” The girl hesitated for a moment, as though holding the knowledge of her name close to her. For the first time, he was actually intrigued by her. Why was this girl holding back her name? Was it possible that she, too, was an uninvited guest to the party.

“Fox.” He supplied the name for her, surprising himself. “You wear a fox mask, if you want to avoid using your name at the ball, why not go by the name of the animal you’re wearing a mask of.”

She nodded, her face brightening. “Fox is good!” She paused for a moment, almost as though she was unsure of what to talk about with him. For a moment, Gula was almost sure she had the intention to find the next sulking partygoer, but she seemed to stay quiet.

“It was a pleasure meeting you Fox, but I can’t stay and talk for--”

“Wait.” Gula stopped, letting the girl talk. “Could I have just one dance?” He was about to answer no, but she continued. “You did say that dancing was the main reason you came, don’t you want to?”

He could tell her no, but placating the girl would better serve his interests better. It would be better if she remembered the unknown lord as a good person, rather than poorly. Then he wouldn’t have to take out any more people than necessary. Fox had been nice enough anyways to him.

“I suppose one dance won’t take too much time out of my night.” And before he knew it, he was pulled out of his corner by Fox, who seemed to take a natural lead as she put her hand on his shoulder, clasping one of his with her second. He settled for a hand on her waist, sharing the dance floor as he chose to let the girl lead. She moved swiftly and gracefully, but she was a noble. It wasn’t a surprise that she knew how to dance. The two fell into a natural silence, following the rhythm of the music, following through each step.

“You know, for a self proclaimed dance lover, I’m surprised you’re letting me lead.” A small smile formed on Fox’s face as she teased him.

“You’re the noble, I’m just the party crasher who likes a good waltz. Leading’s in your job description.” It was true enough. Besides, he’d rather not risk leading her in the dance on the off chance she saw through his flimsy lie. The fact that she’d bought it so far was a surprise enough. “It gives me a chance to see if you’d be a better one than all the others here so far.”

“Not a fan of the current ruling party?” Fox turned a corner, pulling him with her and keeping them moving in the same pattern as earlier. “I can’t say I blame you, I know a lot of the commoners aren’t very fond of us either.”

For a moment, Gula couldn’t help but wonder if there was something different about Fox than the rest of the nobility she was a part of. The frown she wore on her face seemed genuinely upset at the thought of not being loved by the people she ruled over, but he dismissed it. Nobility didn't care for everybody else. That’s why he needed to take jobs like this in the first place. “I don’t care for them, no. Life in Leopardus isn’t easy, but I’ve heard life in Vulpes is worse.”

“Maybe Lady Ava will change that?” Fox spoke in a small voice.

“Maybe.” Maybe she could’ve, but she wouldn’t get that chance for sure. He raised his arm, allowing Fox underneath it while she spun. “But nobody knows what she’s like. Perhaps she asked for her grand debut to be something as glamorous as this ball, and she’s worse than both her parents.”

Fox’s face scrunched up in disgust at that thought. Despite being a look of disgust, Gula couldn’t help but find it cute in a way. “It’s a terrible way to make a public appearance. All it does it make a show, like some display of power. I can’t imagine anyone liking it.”

“Not a fan of balls I take it?” Gula asked.

“I’d like them more if they were events for fun for everybody. A party only allowing nobility...like I said, it doesn’t do anybody good.” She shook her head. “I know the commoners don’t like this ball at all. My friend, Ephemer, he said--” She stopped herself the moment she realized the song ended. “I’m sorry, I asked you for a dance and instead I spent the whole song rambling to you about why I don’t even like the ball.”

If Gula was honest, he hadn’t minded the Fox’s rambling. In general, she seemed to dislike the way other nobles ran things. Perhaps he could negotiate with his boss for her to get a higher up position after the fallout, have her help make change. “Ramble away, your opinion is a breath of fresh air compared to most of the others I’ll hear tonight.”

“Oh?” She looked at him, surprised. “Why’s that?”

“I’m not the biggest fan of balls either.” And he wasn’t. “Truth be told, it wasn’t even my choice to come here.” She’d been honest with him, a random stranger at a ball. And she at least seemed to give half a mind about commoners. He owed her a small part of the truth.

“But you said you liked dancing.” She tilted her head, though somehow he got the feeling that it was just for show than not knowing as though urging him to continue. “So if it wasn’t dancing that brought you, what did?”

Gula released her hand for a moment as they continued their dance, and put his finger to his lips. “I’m not allowed to say. That’s going to stay a secret.”

“Hey! I won’t tell!” Fox protested, and the serious girl who’d shared her political views on all of this snobbery was gone. “There’s no reason I can’t know.”

He chuckled, finding her energy endearing. “It’s not a secret if you include somebody else in on it.” Besides, it was better that she didn't know. Forgetting that she would become a liability, it’d put her in real danger. She’d be a conspirator, and somebody like her being involved in a murder plot wasn’t what he wanted.

“Sure it is. That’s what makes it a secret, when it’s shared between two friends.” Mentally, Gula cursed. He hadn’t wanted to make a friend. He hadn’t wanted to be seen. Somehow, this girl had managed to throw a wrench into all of his plans. She’d be able to point them to Lady Ava’s killer in an instant.

Somehow, none of it bothered him.

“You’ll know before the night is done, don’t worry.” He pet her on the head, watching her pout. “In the meantime, maybe I could learn more about you.” He was searching for any conversation topic. “I have until midnight before I can complete my task, and I’m sure you’ve got a lot of interesting things to say.”

And so they talked, and in spite of himself, he found himself listening to her every word attentively. About her stubborn and overprotective mother, her overbearing father with no sense of what the world needed, her best friend Ephemer who was a commoner she had befriended while sneaking away unnoticed, who told her all about the world and how hard things were. And in turn, he shared with her what he could about himself. About his older brother Aced and how they didn't talk much anymore since Aced didn't approve of his job (not that he said what that job was), how Aced’s husband would check up on him, make sure he was doing okay, and he even threw in a few tales of his more noble deeds.

A small voice in his head whispered that Fox was a liability, that she was learning too much about him, but he didn't care. She was by far one of the most genuine nobles he’d ever met, and as they continued to share dance after dance, he couldn’t bring himself to regret this friendship they’d struck up.

“Ventus, do you think we could leave the floor for a bit?” Fox smiled. And for the first time, Gula noticed how tired she looked. They had been dancing for a while.

“Of course, my lady.” The words left his mouth as a part of the character he was playing, but he still couldn’t help but wince at how they sounded. She didn’t seem to mind as she led him out to the balcony, away from the dancing party. In the distance, he could see a clocktower, proclaiming the time as 11:30. A half hour until the mysterious princess would reveal herself, and Gula could finally take out his target.

At first, they sat in silence before Fox walked over to the edge, looking down at the plaza below as she leaned on the railing. “You know, I didn’t think I’d have any fun at tonight’s party.” He was surprised at her honesty, but then again, he shouldn’t have been. The whole night Fox had been nothing but open with him.

“So why did you come?” As much as it turned out he definitely didn’t hate her, he still wished she hadn’t. He still berated himself for letting himself be so clearly recognizable to her. He walked next to her by the railing. “You could’ve been off, sneaking around with...Ephemera?”

“Ephemer,” Fox corrected him before turning to face him. “I would’ve skipped it if I had a choice, but I’m obligated to be here.” Gula remained silent, waiting for her to elaborate. She chose not to. “I’m glad I got to meet you, if nothing else, it means I get to have at least one more friend.” She reached her hand out tentatively, resting it on his.

He looked at Fox, noticing her smile. “I can’t say I hear that often, but I’m glad we met too.” And it was the truth. There would be problems, but it was nothing he couldn’t try to smooth over with his boss later. They fell into a companionable silence, just enjoying being in the other’s presence.

Finally, Gula spoke once more as the minute hand slowly got closer to the nine. 11:45. He needed to get into position. “Fox I–”

A small gasp sounded from behind them, causing both Gula and Fox to separate. “There you are Lady Ava! Your father’s looking for you!”

Lady Ava!?

If it wasn’t for the fact that the servant had come in, Gula would’ve uttered every curse he could think of. What did she mean Lady Ava? That...no, that could not be right. Ava was his target. And if Fox was Ava…

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Fox...Ava? gave the servant girl a small smile and watched as she left before sighing. “I guess this means our night has come to an end.”

“You’re Lady Ava.” Gula could only repeat those words emptily, as though changing them would somehow allow him to change the fate he would be forced to give her. As though she could go back to being Fox. The worst part was, this was perfect. Ava was his target. Ava was right here. He could complete the crime, leave no loose ends, and nobody would even know. It might not be as showy as his client wanted, but it would do. Ava would be dead and it might stir up more talk about the quiet assassin who managed to kill the princess without anybody having seen her.

But she was also Fox. The girl who had approached him because she’d thought he was lonely and ended up deciding to bug him enough to show him a small piece of her life, and got him to open up about his in return. She was a noble who he was so sure would bring about change in the world, and he was going to have to be the one to end her life. End the spark before it could even begin.

“Ventus?” Evidently Ava had been talking to him while he’d been lost in thought trying to comprehend what that meant. “Ventus!”

Gula shook himself from his thoughts and looked at Ava, still trying to figure out what he was going to do about all this. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I was apologizing.” After a moment of silence, she added, “For lying to you about who I was. I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just there’s so many expectations on me tonight. I’m sure you know why this ball is being held, and you know my distaste for it.” She stopped. “I just wanted to have a normal night before my anonymity is permanently ruined.”

“It’s alright.” It wasn’t alright. He now had an attachment to his target. It was unprofessional and embarrassing. Murder may not have been his field of choice, but that doesn’t make the fact that it happened any less of a problem. But he didn’t want to make any of this worse. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Ava gave him a smile, a genuine one, and he felt his heart skip a beat. “It was nice meeting you, Ventus. I had a wonderful night with you. I know you’re not really here as an invited guest, but I hope I’ll get to see you again anyways.”

Had this been anybody else, Gula would have let her walk out the door and back into her dance. He would’ve gotten into position and waited for her to be presented, and then taken her down and escaped. But this wasn’t anybody else, and in that moment, the conflict he was experiencing came to a resolution. “Gula.”

She paused at the door and turned back to look at Gula. “What?”

“My real name,” he said, “it’s not Ventus. It’s Gula.” Ava turned around and closed the door back into the ballroom, which he took as a sign to continue. “I’m not who I said I was, Fox.”

Rather than flee, Ava walked back over to him and sat on the railing. “I have ten minutes before my father starts the ceremony.” She was willing to hear him out.

He could possibly save her.

“I mentioned my brother doesn’t normally approve of my job. That’s because I don’t just do odds and ends jobs that I can find. I’m a mercenary.” Once the words left his mouth, it wasn’t long before Gula told her everything about tonight. How he’d been hired by somebody to kill her, how at midnight, when she was presented, he was to do his job. She remained silent throughout, wanting to hear him out on what he said.

“I don’t want to kill you, Lady Ava. I’ve enjoyed the night we’ve shared, and I think you might be what this kingdom needs to finally start getting things right. To fix this broken world.” And he did, he believed in Ava as hard as it was to say.

“So don’t. You don’t have to do anything.” He couldn’t say he was surprised. Ava may have had a friend or two, but her lifestyle had been horribly sheltered. It was unlikely that she would understand the choice in front of him. “You may have been hired to kill me, but you can refuse the job.”

“It’s not that simple.” So long as his client knew about him and his brother, so long as Ava breathed, he wouldn’t be safe. “If you’re still able to take the throne come the end of the night, then my client will know I failed. It would cause problems.” Problems he couldn’t afford. Problems Aced couldn’t afford.

“There’s always a third choice Gula, one that doesn’t result in death.” Well he could always kill the person who hired him, but somehow, that option didn’t seem like one Ava would approve of.

As Gula went to respond, the clocktower’s bell went off, ringing one drawn out bell at a time. They had run out of time. “It’s midnight.”

Ava nodded. The two looked at each other, unable to look away for fear that if they did, then Gula would make the decision to kill Ava.

“...What if the world thinks I’m dead?” Ava spoke so quietly, it was almost impossible for Gula to hear what she had said at first. But the moment he realized it, he couldn’t stop the small smile that appeared on his face.

“It’s perfect.” If the world thought Ava was dead, then that fulfilled his contract. It would be more difficult for her to change the world if she was no longer the crown princess of Vulpes, but it would save her life.

But it would also end everything about her life as it is now. Lady Ava of Vulpes would be dead to all but himself. “If we do this, you can’t go back. The world has to think you’re dead.”

“I know.” Her voice was soft as she acknowledged what he said. “But I don’t want you to be in danger either.” She took off her mask and looked up at him. Able to see her whole face, he looked her over for any hint that she wasn’t sincere. That she was lying just for the sake of her own life. Instead he found nothing but sadness for what she would be losing, and determination to save them both.

Gula smiled. “Then let’s get started.”

#Kingdom Hearts #Gula #Ava #GulAva #Heather Writes

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dearrrabbit · 3 years

Note

OH OH OH OH desi asks 2 4 14 20 these asks are so cuuuuuute!!!!

2. A mango lassi desi or a chai desi?

OHHH chai all the way!!! i love making it for my friends. its become a soothing ritual for me, plus, ive never been a fan of like.. thick creamy things?

4. An elephant desi or a tiger desi?

elephant 🥺..... i love tigers and big cats were like... all little vee talked abt, but elephants are so gentle and kind i love them sm.. plus i have like those little string elephants and they are LITERALLY my favorite desi room fixture aside from like. the little idols my aunty got me

14. A bindi desi or a bangles desi?

i feel guilty for admitting it but i HATE bindis they are soo so so uncomfy!!! bangles are so pretty and make such nice noises,, i always find myself loving how certain comfort actions feel when i have bangles on

20. A mehndi on the hands desi or a mehndi on the feet desi?

hands only!!! do not touch my feet >:(!!! but seriously i like to aimlessly walk around drying my mehindi on my hands, so i never rlly. got any on my feet as they were always afraid id track it across the house 😭 lemme see if i can find some of my old mehindi pics i had some really pretty stuff on at my cousins wedding !

RIGHT THESE ASKS ARE ADORABLE!! thank u for sending me them and giving me this chance to ramble aaaa

#mutuals tag #asks

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olivenight17 · 5 years

Text

Yuga Aoyama x Aaliyah (oc) “You’re Enough”

Hello, hello! Okay, so this is finally finished! I’m really glad I took the time to write this, it honestly made me so happy and I’m actually proud of how this turned out? Like, that’s a first lol, I hope you all didn’t mind it either. I know no one really cares about oc’s, especially in writing, but I couldn’t help myself this time around. Plus, this was my first chance to write anything romance wise for bnha and I couldn’t not take that opportunity lol. So, just a little warning, this got super angsty at the end, I’m not totally sure how I ended up down that road, but we’re here. I don’t know, I just feel like Yuga has so much love to give but he shuts it off because he’s self deprecating and man I feel that. Though this is my first time writing for Yuga, I hope I didn’t write him too ooc. And let me know what you think. Of my oc’s, of how this went, anything! I really love hearing from you guys. Enjoy everybody!

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It was an accident.

That’s what Aaliyah swears at least. But despite her claims, Mara chuckled as she tucked her hands into her pockets. “Really, that’s the excuse you’re going to use? It was an accident that you fell in lo-” Aaliyah threw a hand over her mouth before she could say anymore. She rolled her eyes as the brunette shushed her.

“Hey, be quiet seriously! Do you know what will happen if my brothers find out I have a crush? I will absolutely never hear the end of it!” She insisted, trying to ignore the heat overtaking her face.

Her childhood friend merely removed Aaliyah’s hand from her mouth. “Okay, okay, I get it. But in all honesty, this is adorable Ally. Though also unexpected, Yuga usually keeps to himself, how did you two even meet?” Mara asked, raising an amused eyebrow at the girl’s growing flustered state.

“We uh, we met at a bookstore near my house. He seemed nice, I realized I didn’t actually know that much about him so I stuck around a bit. Then we became friends, and I realized how funny he was and he’s really caring and oh my god he is such a dork when it comes to romance books,” The brunette continued to ramble. It was only when Mara cleared her throat that she realized what she did. The red on her cheeks grew and she hid her face in her hands. “This is so embarrassing… Mar-mar, you’re gonna help me right? I can’t do this alone.” She confessed as her hopeful gaze met her friends.

Mara’s face softened into a smile. “Of course, you know I’ve always got your back, Ally. I just don’t know what you expect me to help you with, I’m not an expert with feelings or confessions.” She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly as Aaliyah paused in her embarrassment to let a sly grin make its way onto her face.

“Oh, I forgot, you still haven’t confessed to Sh-”

“Hey now, we’re getting sidetracked. We’re supposed to be helping you,” The navy haired girl interjected. She glanced around to make sure no one heard before letting out a sigh of relief. “Alright, so, you need help with asking him out?” Aaliyah nodded to the question. She paused, racking her brain for ideas. “Personally, I’d probably just ask him out over text or send a note. Anything that’s not face to face, but I know that’s not how you work. What about writing a poem for him? That’s something you’ve always been good at.” She guessed with a shrug.

The brunette was silent for a moment, mulling over the idea in her head. Mara was right, it did sound right up her alley. Plus, they were both romantics, and what’s a more romantic gesture than a poem coming straight from the heart? A silly grin appeared on her face as she already began sprouting some ideas. “I think I’ll give it a try. Thanks Mar-Mar, you’re the best!” She squealed, grabbing her in a tight hug.

Her friend hugged her back with an extra squeeze. “Go get him, tiger. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure the twins never find out about it until you want them to.” She promised as Aaliyah grinned up at her before skipping off to the library to write.

However, there was one miscalculation in this plan.

Aaliyah was not as good with writing romance as she had thought. Especially when it came to poetry.

She slammed her head onto the desk as she crumpled up another paper. None of them were good enough. Either the words were jumbled and choppy, or too wordy. She couldn’t quite get the flow of it no matter how hard she tried. Yawning, she lifted her head up, only for it to plop right back onto the desk. The brunette had been at this for two hours and after countless failures, a nap seemed like the perfect way to take a break. Decisively ignoring the buzzing in her pocket, she drifted away into slumber.

But the person causing the buzzing was not so easily ignored.

After about a half hour with no reply, Yuga began getting worried. Aaliyah was always fast with replying to text messages and if she was doing something else, she told him she would be gone before disappearing. There was no such message and the brunette was supposed to meet him a few hours after school.

So, Yuga began frantically searching for Aaliyah around school whilst calling out her name dramatically, as one does.

The blond hadn’t had any luck and as he was fishing out his phone to simply call her, someone tapped his shoulder. He let out a small squeak as he turned around, quickly covering it with a cough. He was met with the confused face of his classmate, Mara. “Yuga, you’ve been wandering school aimlessly for ten minutes now. Do you need help or something?” She asked, giving him a disbelieving frown when he said he didn’t. But the frown vanished as a realization dawned on her. “Oh, I get it. The last I heard from her, she was in the library. That’s your best bet, good luck,” The navy haired girl sang as she patted his back.

Yuga chuckled nervously as he watched her walk away. “Merci, Mara! But, for what?” There was no reply as the girl disappeared behind a wall. He was beginning to stress over what really caused Aaliyah to not respond to him now.

Pushing the doors open to the library, he spotted Aaliyah almost immediately. The blond relaxed as he saw her figure. This was why she hadn’t texted back, she fell asleep. Making his way over to her, he took his school blazer off and folded it neatly under her head as a makeshift pillow. He chuckled under his breath as the brunette shifted into a more comfortable position. “I’m sure it’s tiring having to sparkle almost as brightly as I do every day…” His eyes slid off her form as he noticed all the balled up papers that surrounded her.

She was writing, and it wasn’t in her notebook? This had to be a special occasion.

Yuga shook his head. This was a dear friend of his, the only person he let see passed his facade. The least he could do was respect her privacy. So, that’s what he did. Taking a seat next to her, he fiddled with his phone until she woke up.

He greeted her with a blinding smile when she did. “Bonjour, ma cherie! Feeling well rested?” He inquired, lighting up inside when the girl shot a sleepy grin back at him.

“You betcha! Sorry if I made you worry, I got preoccupied and then I fell asleep, but then you knew that.” Aaliyah giggled lightly as she rested just a little longer on his blazer. Yuga took that time to grab one of the scrunched papers that were littered around her.

He held it up carefully. “May I?” A fleeting panic overtook her features for a split second but it was gone before the boy could even blink.

Aaliyah reached to grab it from him. “Well, I mean you could but I wouldn’t! It’s still a work in progress and it’s not the best that I’ve written. In fact it’s probably some of the worst,” She continued to ramble. That made Yuga frown and he withdrew the paper from her grasp, standing up when she got off her chair to get it. At this point she began jumping for it. “This isn’t fair Yuga, you’re using my height against me!” Aaliyah pouted which almost made Yuga give the paper back to her. Almost.

“Cherie, I’ll have you know that no matter what stage of the creative process your work is in, it’s gold either way! There’s no need to be so modest, you shine brighter than any other writer I know!” The blond proclaimed, making Aaliyah smile lightly. “Good, that’s the smile I love to see.” He tensed as the words slipped out of his mouth. He hadn’t planned on being quite as bold.

There was silence before Aaliyah latched onto him in a tight hug. “You are so sweet it’s not even fair! Ugh, because you won me over with that nice compliment, you can read the paper. Hopefully it’s not one of my worst drafts. Some of these things literally only have one word on them.”

“It’ll be beautiful nonetheless,” He assured her. Careful not to rip anything, he uncrumpled the paper.

I love you, how does anyone say it?

There are different forms

A soft touch here

A lingering gaze there

It’s a soft blanket being placed on a sleeping figure

Your love is what some consider strange

It’s bolded words and sparkling smiles

A firework show in private

I love the way you say I love you

I just wish it was easier on me

And I want to just scream it from the rooftops

Because I love you, I swear I do

By the time you read this

I hope you love me as much as I do you.

Yuga blinked, lost in a daze as he trailed over the words on repeat. A love confession, but for who? It couldn’t possibly be for him, but he hadn’t seen Aaliyah freak out over anyone else. His gut was twisting and somehow it hurt worse than any time he had used his quirk. These words weren’t for him. They couldn’t be. He wasn’t good enough-

“Yuga?” Aaliyah snapped him out of his daze and he gave her a queasy smile.

Quickly, he shoved the paper back into her hands. “Like I said, the words were beautiful, exactly like I thought! Whoever it’s meant for is a lucky man.” He announced, waving his arms in the air for dramatic effect. But he really needed to leave, it felt like he was going to be sick.

The brunette shifted on the balls of her feet. “Well, I’m glad you think that because you’re that uh, lucky man…” Her words trailed off as she looked at her feet shyly for a minute before trying to look up at him through her eyelashes discreetly.

The grin on his face lost all of it’s emotion but it still stuck on, as if he was frozen in time. Just as she reached out to touch him, the blond caught her by the wrist. “That’s sweet, truly cherie. But there’s no need to lie like that to save my feelings. I can accept that someone else has stolen your heart!” He laughed but the sound was hollow and his words lacked their typical flamboyance.

Aaliyah tilted her head, he was trying to put his facade back up again and push her away, but she didn’t understand why. “I’m not lying, Yuga. Come on, you know I don’t joke about things like this. The only one who has my heart is you,” She confessed. She wiped her palms against her skirt. Library’s were supposed to be cold, why was she suddenly burning up?

“Then, I would suggest you take it back. You can have it, free of charge.” Yuga’s smile was suddenly cold as he picked up his blazer and began walking away. Aaliyah could only stare at him as he left, suddenly feeling as if everything in her just vanished.

She could barely feel her legs move as they ran to catch up with him. There was no way, she couldn’t have messed up so bad he didn’t even want to be friends with her anymore. Before she could even think, she gripped onto his shoulder and turned him back to face her. “Wait, please. Don’t tell me I just messed everything up. Do you hate me now? Why are you pushing me away? You don’t act like this, Yuga. Please don’t push me away. Just explain what I did wrong. I promise I won’t do it again,” She begged. The brunette searched his gaze for any type of emotion.

But all that was there was his usual smile, though there was a flash of sympathy in his violet eyes. “It wasn’t anything you did. I’m giving you a chance to give your heart to someone else, someone better. You don’t want me.” His tone was gentle as if he was soothing a small child. “After all, no one wants the defect.”

Aaliyah went silent at those words and Yuga assumed she understood and began turning away again. But, her grip kept him in place. She mumbled some words that he didn’t hear, repeating them over and over until they were loud enough to be heard. “You are not a defect!” She screamed, letting tears drip down her face. “You are not broken just because you have problems. I have problems, everybody in the world has problems. But none of us are broken. Especially not you, you’re the strongest out of everyone here, because despite the pain and the issues you smile through it all. And I’m not sure how you do it, but you do and I’m proud of you for that.” Slowly, Aaliyah began pulling him into a hug. “But whatever you do, don’t push us, push me away. You do not have to do this alone and whether or not you love me back, I’m going to make sure you never have to. You deserve to say all of those self praising words and mean it.” Squeezing him tightly, she felt relief pour through her when Yuga returned the embrace.

Lips were placed at the top of her head as the blond did his best not to shake. He rubbed her back soothingly and just allowed himself to be in that moment. It was a while before he finally spoke. “I’m so sorry for the hurt I caused, I love you. Though I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve you, I’m thanking every last shining star that I did it, amour.”

A soft giggle came from Aaliyah as she looked up at him, love shining through her green eyes. “You didn’t have to do anything, you were just you. And that’s more than enough.”

#bnha #mha #mha aoyama #aoyama yuuga #this lovely boi #aoyama yuga x oc #he deserves all the love in the world #definitely deserves to love himself #you guys better love yourselves too #if not #prepare for hugs and cookies and a bunch of encouragement from me #you're all wonderful people and I appreciate you all

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nerdypinupcrystal · 5 years

Text

Every Breath You Take Chapter 6: Pain, Hurt For So Long

Masterlist

Hey guys I’m back with number 6!!! Last chapter was a roller coaster of emotions, and this one is full on angst, so brace yourselves... There’s no music playing in the actual chapter, but the song that inspired the chapter title is “Pain” by Tiger Army. Great song, and it’s perfect for Iris. Anywho, enough of my rambling, on with Chapter 6!

Chapter 6: Pain, Hurt For So Long

I woke up the next morning still sitting on the floor, barricading the door. I use that term loosely; waking up would require going to sleep first.

After that terrifying nightmare last night, I was on high alert and in full panic mode. I kept the knife in a vice-like grip the entire night, as if I was expecting him to pop up out of nowhere.

But that’s not going to happen. He’s still in Miami, he has no idea you’re here. You’re safe.

Was I really, though?

As long as I was being plagued by these nightmares and the paranoia, I was never going to be safe. Not from the dark corners of my mind. Not really.

I sluggishly stood up and walked over to my room to get dressed for work. I had no idea how I was going to get through the day without passing out from exhaustion. But I couldn’t disappoint Lucy on my second day of work. I’d never forgive myself.

It wasn’t until I reached for my clothes in the dresser that I realized I was still holding the knife. I shakily set it down on the dresser, allowing a few tears to fall before I stiffened my spine with determination and grabbed my clothes.

I was exiting my apartment and locking the door when I saw Matt stepping out of his apartment at the same time.

“Good morning, Iris.” Matt greeted. His voice so sweet and tender, it even sounded concerned. I was on the brink of tears again.

“Good morning, Matt.” I replied, my voice as hollow and broken as I felt.

Matt tilted his head in concern. “Are you alright? You don’t sound so good.” He asked as he stepped towards me.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” I replied, my eyes shifting to the ground.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his voice a lot closer as he reached out to touch my shoulder.

I couldn’t control the impulse as I flinched away from him. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s no big deal.” Liar.

Matt seemed to agree with my inner thoughts. “I’m sorry, but I’m having trouble believing you.” Matt replied as we started walking towards the elevator. I walked ahead of him to keep him at a distance.

“Well, it’s really none of your concern, Matt.” My voice was tight as I tried to keep my composure.

“I disagree.” Matt argued as he walked ahead to stop me from moving. “Iris, I care about you. A lot. So whatever you’re going through is my concern.” He tentatively reached for my face to caress my cheek. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I feel something between us, and I know you do too.”

I could hear my heart racing, my eyes welling up with tears. “Maybe there shouldn’t be anything between us.” I whispered broken-hearted. Don’t you dare end this with him before it can really start.

Matt stiffened. “Don’t do that. I know what you’re trying to do.” Of course he does. He’s a very clever man. “I know you’re in some kind of trouble, and I want to help you. But you have to let me in. Please.” He begged desperately.

I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat as tears ran down my cheeks and onto his hand. My voice cracked as I gently squeezed his hand before pushing it away, and I replied, “Nobody can help me.”

With that, I walked around him, not giving him a chance to argue. I walked past the elevator and took the stairs instead, distancing myself further from the first genuinely sweet man I had met.

I entered the bakery feeling more broken and exhausted than I felt earlier this morning. I had barely reached the counter when Lucy appeared from the kitchen.

“No.” She pointed at me with authority. “Go home.”

My eyes widened perplexed. “Good morning?”

“Good morning, Sweetie.” Lucy greeted. “Now go home.”

“Why? What did I do?” I asked, feeling super confused.

“Not taking care of yourself, apparently.” Lucy replied, gently scolding me. “You, my friend, need to go home and sleep. You can come back to work tomorrow or when you’re well-rested.”

Now I was even more confused. “How the Hell did you even know about that?”

Lucy was quick to reply, “Matt called Foggy, and then Foggy called me. So it’s my duty as your new boss and best friend to help you.”

I had so many questions for that statement, but only one came to mind at the moment. “Foggy called you?”

“I encouraged him to ask me out and I gave him my number; don’t change the subject.” Lucy replied with a fond smile on her face. “The point is we’re all worried about you, and you need to take care of yourself even if the three of us have to force you.”

There was no winning this argument with technically three people ganging up on me for my own good.

“Alright.” I conceded. “You win, I’m going. I’m so sorry, Lucy.” I felt so guilty for being the one thing I hated being. A burden.

Lucy wrapped me in a comforting hug. “Don’t be sorry, Iris. Just get some rest and come back when you feel better. And call me if you ever want to talk about what’s going on with you, okay?”

I nodded as my eyes welled up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time. “Thank you so much, Lucy.”

I started walking towards the exit when I stopped and asked one more question. “Did you call yourself my best friend?”

Lucy shrugged with a smile, “We baked shot glasses out of cookies and christened them with chocolate liqueur. If that’s not Best Friend material, I don’t know what is.”

I let out the first laugh I’ve had today. “I couldn’t agree more. See you tomorrow.” I waved to her as I walked out of the bakery. Unaware of a familiar presence watching over me and following me from the rooftops above my head.

I couldn’t bring myself to go back to my apartment yet. The idea of being cooped up in there alone with my thoughts and the nightmare from last night still lingering terrified me. I just kept walking with no real destination in mind.

I found myself at a park not too far from a hospital I passed on the way.

I saw an old pay phone nearby; surprised there were any still around, I quickly made my way towards it. Relieved to find it was still working, I put in the change and called for the one person whose voice I desperately needed to hear.

“Amsterdam Nursing Home. How may I help you?” A woman’s voice greeted on the other end.

“May I speak to Violet Williams in room 17, please?” I asked patiently.

“May I ask who’s calling?” The woman kindly asked.

“A friend of the family.” I answered.

Thankfully that was enough for the receptionist to patch me through to her room.

I could feel my palms sweating, my heart beating a mile a minute.

“Hello?” My mouth went dry as I heard the sweetest voice that always gave me comfort.

“Hi, Mom.” I whispered, keeping my hand on the mouthpiece so she couldn’t hear me.

I had panicked. I didn’t have the courage to speak to her yet. But all I wanted was to hear her voice.

“Is anyone there?” The sweet and confused voice asked.

“I love you so much.” My whispered voice cracked from the tears I fought to hold back.

“If someone’s there, could you speak up, please? I can’t hear you.” Mom asked kindly with a chuckle, breaking my composure more and more.

“I have so much to tell you.” My knuckles turned white from the death grip.

“Jane, I don’t think anyone’s there.” I heard Mom say to who I assumed was her nurse.

“But I’m okay.” I whispered, wishing I had the courage to let her hear me.

“I’ll hang that up for you, Violet.” Another woman, possibly Jane, said on Mom’s end.

“I miss you, Mommy.” I said as the other line hung up and all I heard was the dial tone.

It was only when I hung up the phone did I allow myself to surrender to my tears.

I wandered aimlessly through the park until the lack of sleep caught up with me, urging my exhausted body to sit down.

I sat down at the nearest empty bench,staring off into nothing as I lost myself in my thoughts.

I was startled out of my thoughts as someone took a seat next to me.

“Hi. I’m sorry if I startled you, but is it okay if I sit here?” The woman kindly asked me.

I turned to look up at the stranger. She was a beautiful brunette with caramel colored skin, and was wearing blue hospital scrubs.

I smiled and silently nodded for her to sit.

She sighed in relief. “Thanks. I’m on my lunch right now, and I needed to sit somewhere that wasn’t in the hospital.” She held up her small bag full of food, pulling out two green apples. She held one out to me.

“Here. You look like you haven’t eaten anything today.”

I shook my head in protest. “No, you don’t have to do that. I’m fine.” My stomach chose that moment to growl in hunger.

The woman eyebrow raised at the sound. “Sweetie, your stomach is calling you a liar. Take it. I have plenty.” She insisted as she pushed the apple into my hand.

“Thank you.” I softly replied as I took a huge bite of the apple.

“I’m Claire, by the way.” She introduced herself, holding out her hand towards me.

I took it in return, “Iris. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Claire replied. “I haven’t seen you around here before.” She rolled her eyes, “huge city, I know. But you seem new. Did you just move here? Or are you visiting?”

I couldn’t explain it, but I felt comfortable enough around this woman to give her an honest answer. “Just moved here. To be near my mom. She’s by herself in a nursing home. She's blind and can't move her left side very well. She had a stroke.”

Claire’s face crumpled with sympathy. “I’m so sorry to hear that.” She paused for a moment before she continued. “Where were you at before? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“I was visiting an old friend.” I started to lie. “She needed me.”

Sympathy still painted Claire’s features. “Oh god, was she sick too?” She then shook her head. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

After going this long without telling anyone the truth about me, I couldn’t contain it any longer. I felt so tired and done with keeping my past to myself. It didn’t really hit me until that moment that I needed to talk to someone. Maybe I needed to talk to a kind stranger who I didn’t see every day. Who didn’t truly know me. I needed to tell someone the truth.

“She left her husband.” I finally said in a whisper, causing Claire to turn her eyes towards me.

There’s no turning back now.

My heart raced as I continued, “He was a horrible man. He used to beat her.”

“Oh my god.” Claire gasped, keeping her eyes on me.

“It started right after their honeymoon.” My voice sounded hollow as I continued. “At first, he was charming, and tender. But then it all changed. He was a tyrant; he controlled everything she did. Took away things she loved that he didn’t like. Kept her isolated from the world so that all she had was him. He said if she ever left him, he would punish her, and he meant it. His punishments…” My voice cracked and my body shivered at the memories. “Were terrible.”

I took a shaky breath to calm myself. “He would never let her go. He said he’d find her anywhere.”

“What a bastard.” Claire visibly shivered as she asked, “Couldn’t she call the cops?”

I quickly nodded, already expecting that question. “Well yeah, she did. She called them, and a lawyer too. They said she could make a citizen's arrest, get a restraining order. It was pathetic.” I let out a weak laugh. “She knew that would never be enough. She truly realized that nobody could help her. She was all alone.”

“Well, how did she leave?” Claire asked anxiously.

I took a deep breath as I looked away from her. “She...risked everything. She escaped. Started a new life. New home. New look. New name.” I finished with a whisper.

The silence was deafening. I could feel Claire’s eyes on me as I looked over at the trees.

“She’s a really brave girl.” Claire spoke with admiration.

I shook my head in protest as I admitted in a broken whisper, “She thinks she’s a coward.”

I felt the unnecessary shame of my actions hit me all at once. I never truly felt brave for doing what I did to escape him.

“A coward?” Claire exclaimed in disbelief. “No way. Not a girl like that.”

I’m glad one of us thinks so.

“How long did you stay with him?”

My heart stopped and my head snapped over to face her. There was no judgment in her eyes. No disgust or shame. Just a knowing look of sympathy . She nodded in understanding.

Tears of pain and relief ran down my cheeks, my voice cracked as I replied. “Too long. Three years. Seven months. Six days.” Three years of my life I could never get back.

I quickly wiped the tears from my face as I gave Claire a broken smile. “Thank you for the apple.” Claire smiled back at me, her own eyes welled up with unshed tears. “And thank you for listening.” I thanked her graciously.

“Any time.” Claire replied with a gracious smile. “Do you have a phone on you?”

“Yeah, why?” I asked out of curiosity as I pulled out my cell phone.

Claire reaches for it and started typing on it. “I’m giving you my phone number. Anytime you need someone to talk to,or just have a friend to hang out with, give me a call.” She finished as she handed back my phone after using it to call hers.

“Thank you, Claire.” I said, not knowing what else to say to express how grateful I was.

“You don’t have to go through this alone anymore, Iris.” Claire gripped my hand in comfort. “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

I nodded gratefully as I tried to swallow back the tears threatening to pour out once more. I couldn’t believe my luck at finding the most genuinely kind and caring people in Hell’s Kitchen of all places.

My mind immediately brought up Matt, and my heart felt heavy. I felt awful for how I treated him this morning. He poured his heart out to me and wanted to help me, and I repaid him by pushing him away. I didn’t even know where to begin with how to face him again.

Claire must’ve noticed my mood dampen even more. “What’s the matter?”

Well, you’ve gone this far with telling the truth. Why stop now?

“There’s a man,” I started, “He’s my neighbor. He’s…amazing. He’s so sweet, and considerate, and funny, and charming. I like him...probably so much more than I should. He feels the same way, he told me as much this morning. He’s also incredibly clever and observant. He knows that something is going on with me. He even wants to help me.” I started to crack as I continued. “I pushed him away. I was so rude to him. I just don’t know how I’m going to face him.” I rolled my eyes at myself, “Hell, after this morning, he probably wouldn’t want to come near me anyway.”

Claire rubbed my hand in sympathy. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. And if he’s as great of a guy as you say he is, then he won’t be driven away so easily. He probably understands better than you think.”

I couldn’t help but agree. “You’re right. He had his friend call my boss to send me home for the day because I didn’t sleep last night. He was worried about me, even after I was being horrible to him.”

“Sounds like a pretty great guy to me.” Claire chimed in.

“He really is. The amazing thing is he’s blind, and yet he can see things better than anyone else can. When I’m with him, it’s like he can not only see me, but see right through me into my soul.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Claire sit up a little straighter with curiosity.

“This neighbor of yours...his name wouldn’t happen to be Matt Murdock, would it?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“You know him?” My eyes widened. How small is this damn city?

Claire chuckled. “Yeah, he’s a friend.” She looked like she wanted to elaborate, but she didn’t. “If there’s one thing I can tell you about Matt, it’s that he’s extremely protective over the people he cares about the most.” She looked at me pointedly. “When he says he wants to help, he really means it, and will do everything he can to do it.”

“I believe you,” I said in agreement. “I definitely got that impression from him. But I just don’t know if he can help me with this. I tried talking to a lawyer before, and it did nothing.”

“True, but Matt’s different from most lawyers. He actually gives a shit about the people he fights for.” Claire gave me a gentle nudge in the shoulder. “And in your case, that especially means you.” My face flushed at her statement. “Now, Iris, I’m not going to push you into doing anything you don’t want to do. God knows, you’ve experienced enough of that. But will make a suggestion if you’re willing to hear me out.”

What do I have to lose? “I’m listening.” My eyes met with hers, giving her my full attention.

“Talk to him.” She advised. “Tell him the truth. At least as much as you’re comfortable with. Speaking from personal experience, I know what it’s like to be with the wrong guy and have him break your trust, and you have every reason not to want to trust a man again.” She really gets it. “But, and I’m not just saying this as his friend, you can trust Matt. Believe me when I say he’ll understand, and the last thing he would ever want to do is hurt you.”

What Claire said made a lot of sense. I thought it would be easier and safer to just keep my past to myself. However, I’m starting to realize that keeping everything that happened to me bottled up inside is actually doing more harm than good. Maybe telling Matt could help me; although the thought of telling him everything scares the shit out of me. Can I trust him? Should I trust him?

He’s been nothing but wonderful to you. He hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him. He wants to help you. Give him a chance.

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and nodded in understanding. “You make a hell of a point, Claire... I’ll try.”

Claire smiled, “At least you’re considering it, and that’s what matters.” Claire started to stand up from the bench. “I guess so should head back in before they actually miss me.” She said with a sarcastic roll of her brown eyes.

I offered a sympathetic smile, “It was great meeting you, Claire. I hope the rest of your day doesn’t get too crazy.”

Claire snorted, “You and me both!” Claire stopped and looked at me. “Have you had a checkup at all?”

My brows furrowed in confusion, “Um, not in a long time. Why do you ask?”

Claire gave a tense nod. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m only asking because of what you said about…” she trailed off, hesitating on how to approach this delicately. “How your ex treated you?” She paused until it dawned on me what she meant. “I was just wondering if you’ve had anyone check on your...injuries.”

I couldn’t help but feel touched at someone actually asking about that. “No, he’d never let anyone else see me like that. He’d leave me alone to tend to myself.”

Claire shook her head in disgust. “I’m hating this asshole more and more.”

I let out a surprised laugh, never having had the courage to say such a thing myself.

“Me too.” It felt liberating to allow myself to admit that much at the very least.

Claire offered me her hand with a sincere smile. “Come on. I want to give you a check up, it’ll ease my mind.”

I could feel those damn tears coming up again in gratitude for this incredible offer of kindness. How could I possibly refuse such a generous offer? I grabbed her hand and rose up from my seat. “Lead the way, Doc.”

“Technically I’m a nurse, but I’m not going to stop you from calling me that.” Claire smirked.

I let out a laugh. “Then Doc, you shall be.”

I proceeded walking towards the hospital entrance with my new friend.

Once more, I wasn’t aware of the secret third person keeping a close watch from above; and had been listening to the entire conversation.

Matt

Matt stood on the roof of the hospital speechless; his body stiff and his fists clenched tightly to the point they were shaking. His usual vision of the world on fire burned even hotter and redder. He waited until Iris and Claire were inside the hospital before he grabbed an abandoned empty beer bottle and hurled it aggressively against the wall as he let out a yell of rage.

Oh how he wished the bottle was the face of the asshole who dared laid his hands on the woman he’s fallen for.

Oh God, Iris. What did that bastard do to you? What monster could look at your sweet face and still have the nerve to hurt you like that? You’ve been through so much for so long. You didn’t deserve to suffer in that Hell. You deserve to be cherished and loved, and protected. He thought as he loosened his tie and tried to control his heavy breathing.

Oh how Matt wanted more than anything to hold Iris in his arms and protect her from anything and anyone that wanted to harm her.

He knew that she was running away from something, but he never thought she’d be running and hiding from the one man who was supposed to love and protect her for the rest of their lives together.

His blood froze as he remembered one detail she mentioned. “Three years. Seven months. Six days.” Iris is only 23. She got married when she was only 19, 20 at the most. She was just a kid, young, naive, and in love. Too young and naive to realize who she agreed to spend the rest of her life with before it was too late. She had sounded somewhat older than her actual age in the few times Matt has spent with her.

Suffering at the hands of that pig forced her to grow up too fast.

God, Iris. You were so young, and small and fragile, you must’ve been terrified. You’re still so young, and you’ve survived this whole time. You’re so much stronger than you think, sweetheart.

Matt’s heart broke for Iris as he listened to the still vague details of her past being told with years of pain in her voice; and his blood boiled with an unspeakable rage towards the man responsible for that pain.

It took all of his self control to not burst into Iris’s apartment the moment he heard her scream last night from the other side of the city. Her heart had been beating out of control, causing his heart to beat in sync with hers as he rushed back to their building to check on her. Each sob she let out caused him more pain than being stabbed ever did. She wasn’t the only one who lost sleep last night.

Matt didn’t expect to feel this strongly for anyone, but that all changed when the adorable girl next door with an enthusiastic love for music charmed her way into his heart in the span of a week without even meaning to. She managed to ignite a light in his life he didn’t think he deserved to have; and he’ll be damned if he let some worthless abusive asshole hurt her any more than he already did.

It didn’t matter to Matt whether or not he and Iris would ever get together; he swore right then and there that he was going to protect her no matter what.

He hoped Iris was going to take Claire’s advice and talk to him. He wanted her to trust him enough to tell him the full story, but it’s her choice to do so, and he wasn’t going to force it from her. She deserved better than that.

Until then, he’s going to continue watching over her and making sure she was safe. If only he could protect her from her nightmares and memories. The thought of what she could’ve possibly dreamed about last night made him sick to his stomach and made him shake with rage towards the man who’s caused her suffering.

He needed to let out his aggression.

Feeling hesitant at first at the thought of leaving Iris alone unprotected, Matt reasoned with himself that she’s safe with Claire for the time being.

With that resolve, he leapt across to the next building, and made his way towards the church, all the while he kept a vigilant ear out for Iris.

Some guidance from Father Lantom was in order; but first, he was going to make great use of that punching bag they kept downstairs.

A/N: Matt knows! I’ve been looking forward to this chapter and that scene with Iris and Claire since I started this fic! So a lot more has been revealed about Iris, but still not the full story, but ALL will be revealed very soon! I hope I did Matt’s POV justice, this is a much darker side to him that I haven’t fully explored in this story yet, but I hope I did him right. He has so much anger, but the first and most important thing in his mind is Iris and keeping her safe. God I love this man. Well, that’s all for now. Thank you so much for reading, don’t forget to follow me, reblog, and PLEASE leave comments! They really make my day and I love hearing what you guys think. Until next time! *Kiss noise*

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akutagawaprize · 7 years

Note

No offence, but I feel as if in this chapter, the author got tired of this entire ark in general, as the entire situation was solved ridiculously fast. Now, I don't really understand Japanese, so this may not be accurate. But from what I see, both highly powerful opponents were ridiculously quickly subdued, and somehow Fitzgerald decided to side with the Mafia and the ADA for no reason. We didn't even get to know Fyodor's ability yet, and he's already defeated.

I, too, was disappointed in this chapter, but after collecting my thoughts, I decided that it wasn’t a bad way of ending this arc, if this indeed is the end. Sure it may have looked abrupt, but it could have been worse… Or so I like to tell myself.

(Warning: I try my best to be unbiased and objective but this may read like a lot of whining. Only proceed if you’re fine with that.)

The good:Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi; appearance of the rest of ADA and Port Mafia; Fitzgerald saving the day; Ango and his crew appearing; that not-so-subtle nod to Odasaku in the end

The “I don’t have much of a good or a bad opinion on this”:Shin soukoku new combo move; Chuuya still in the book

The bad:Quick resolution to the arc; implied lobotomy(!?); Dazai and his keikaku doori antics again; strange sense of déjà vu since they used practically same buildup as the last arc, but now it’s the remix version

First of all, I’ll just have to throw out my wildest (not really) theory out here: Fyodor is still the “final boss”. Come on, he gets the moniker “The Demon” and gets jailed off like that? No, no. It doesn’t make sense at all, at least to me. So my guess is that Agatha and the Order of the Clock Tower will swoop in to try and mess with the Agency, but when they’re on the verge of defeat, Fyodor steps in and uses this chance to strike ADA for himself. So uh Guild Arc 2.0. Or something along those lines. This could’ve been a test drive. Or he could have other Rats in Russia waiting for orders in case there’s a Phase II. Call me optimistic, but that’s what I would like to believe.

We jailbreak from Azkaban and invade Ministry of Magic now.

There really isn’t much to say about Dazai proving himself a formidable chessmaster again, other than I called it on an earlier ask. I just hope I’m not the only one tired of him being right all the damn time. No one can be that all-seeing…

People keep asking about Chuuya. Some were disappointed he only had one panel, some were rejoicing because it was “in-character” he stayed because he enjoyed fighting. But Ranpo kinda confirmed Chuuya stayed not because he wanted to beat people, but because it’s faster that way than using his brains? He’s not dumb, but come on, why would he prolong his stay if at that time his current concern was to protect Mori/kill off Fukuzawa? So yeah, his fate doesn’t really interest me, because I’ve always thought he was someone who is too popular to die… Not important, because sheesh let’s face it, Asagiri hasn’t really fleshed him out yet and doesn’t seem to have the intention of wanting to anytime soon. (Light novel soon please? Or a backstory in the movie if they wanna get dat yen lmao)

I’m more curious about how Ranpo got out, because the last time Poe trapped him, he was transported back with Yosano after solving the case. Was there some unwritten rule that a person can be selective with who he brings back with him? I hope we get clarifications on this, I’m a sucker when it comes to analyzing abilities and their corresponding limits and restrictions. It bugs me that in BSD there are a lot of additions and contradictions when it comes to abilities and that they come up only when it’s convenient to the plot. (For example, anyone can activate Doppo Poetry as long as they have a page with them. I don’t think it’s been mentioned before, but anyway it bothered me for some reason.)

Another big thing this chapter: Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi. I got an ask talking specifically about this, so I’ll write a post about that later. For now, I can just say that it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to Akutagawa after the “You got stronger” shoulder pat. I’m not expecting him to turn over a new leaf, now full of hope and vigor for life, but he’s trying and he might come up with his own concluson to an unanswered question in his heart: “What is my life worth living for?”

Oh and Atsushi being able to rip out abilities… Imagine if Wolverine can No Longer Human enemies… I don’t like this at all, but what can you do, he’s the protagonist anyway so he gets a pass.So for now I’ll be bumping Atsushi to No. 2 of the most powerful known Ability users second only to Lovecraft. Granted, he had to team up with Akutagawa to come up with this Ultimate Dark Claw thing, but still. I guess I just like balance. In any case, one can argue that shin soukoku needs to grow stronger if they want to fend off the coming Europeans.

Food for thought: If Dazai can nullify abilities and Atsushi can also cancel out abilities with tiger claws, will they cause a singularity if they got into a serious fight?

Hmm.

Fitzgerald! He didn’t care about Fyodor getting his leftover assets actually, but remember, it was Fyodor who crashed Moby Dick. He also reasoned that while he has no interest in whatever he’s “left” behind, he didn’t want a rat using his leftover resources. In short, he did it to spite the Russian. So while I can respect that, I was still hoping that instead of Dazai coming up with the deal (how did he even know Fitz acquired Eyes of God?), it would be Katai who would call this to attention. After all, as someone who is knowledgeable about technology and electronics, he could have picked up information on Eckleburg. Of course, there’s a fair bit of chance that he heard about it from Ranpo or Atsushi (they were there when Alcott asked for help) but there was no explanation for how Dazai came to that knowledge. Ah. Well.

I mean, until now we don’t know how Natsume saved Katai.

Dazai then went on to say that Fitzgerald will declare war on them again so this + the yacht are the last friendly gestures they’re going to get from the Guild. Wonder what happens to Lucy and Poe now…

They totally could have asked for a Special Ability Permit in exchange for their services but okay Richard!

The victory afterparty. Kunikida and Katai were nowhere to be seen, so was Yosano. You know who else we haven’t seen? Hawthorne and Katsura. With Katsura, he could have been helped by Kunikida… who I believe is still mourning the deaths of the innocent children… They should really address that next chapter. Or whatever. As for our Winter Soldier, he’s either roaming around aimlessly or he was captured. Who knows? We don’t know how he got mind-controlled either (another Rat? or suffered a similar fate with Ivan…). But if his goal was to heal Mitchell, then Yosano is the perfect answer.

What else? Oh! Fuku wasn’t in the party too right? Meeting up with Natsume and Mori? I don’t know… As you can see, I come up with various scenarios and get them wrong 75% of the time. I was being dramatic too over Elise even though I knew she’d come back, but… This was fast. Glad to see her again though!

Oops. I rambled enough. Those were my thoughts, more or less. As I’ve said, it was a fairly standard BSD chapter. Disappointing, but still has a lot of loose ends which can be neatly tied up in upcoming chapters. I know a lot of people liked how this chapter ended, but… I’m not one of them, I’m afraid. I hope to be more enthusiastic about future chapters.

#asks #bungou stray dogs #text #spoilers #i suppose it's obvious i'm more plot > characters #though that can go hand-in-hand

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kelolon · 7 years

Text

On “Agape”

(Or, The Closest I’ll Ever Get to Meta, Probably)

This is like some kind of weird, disjointed masterpost on why I love Agape. It’s not particularly deep or thought-provoking and it has a lot of bad words (sorry) - I’m not the best at this stuff. But it’s something I felt like writing about, so here we are. Enjoy! (Or don’t, see if I care.)

6/22/17: Updated with info from the guidebook!

So. Agape.

Where to even start? I love everything about Agape. The song, the choreography, the overall message - it’s far and away my favorite program. Please allow me to talk about it at unnecessary length.

Yuri: “Damn it. Who cares about agape?”

Me, that’s who.

The official stuff

The guidebook has this to say about Agape (this is a somewhat rough translation - feel free to correct!):

With unconditional love as its theme (in opposition to Eros) is the impressive "In Regards to Love ~Agape~", with its boy soprano overflowing with the feeling of translucence. When he was assigned the song by Victor, Yuri said "this innocent image makes me wanna barf," but during his mandatory trip to a waterfall, memories of his time with his grandfather surfaced, and he put those feelings into the program. He had realized that the feelings from when he was very young and he skated to see the joy on his grandfather's face were agape. From the choreography, it was said to be "made in the image of things like a white bird or something holy (Miyamoto)", so it feels light as a feather, and yet you can also feel the strength of the will of someone who has something to sacrifice.

There's beauty in the limit of what can only be done "now" with an androgynous appearance. It's an earnestly flexible and delicate program, but the jump composition includes two quads in the second half, putting it at a high level and prompting Yuuri to name him "a beautiful, ever-evolving monster." Although the triple axel is in the first half, you could say that the program composition is challenging for Yuri, who is still young and lacks stamina. Also, in the same way as Yuuri's "Eros", the filler between components is strong, making it a difficult program as well. With a firm foundation in ballet thrown in, movement is in the orthodox Russian skater way, and the costume can't be overlooked.

The concept

What is agape? baby don’t hurt me Okay no, this is serious shit. It’s one of at least four Greek words for love, two of which should be immediately recognizable to YOI fans (the other being eros, of course). The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy has a lot to say about love, including agape-flavored love:

Agape refers to the paternal love of God for man and of man for God but is extended to include a brotherly love for all humanity. [...] Agape arguably draws on elements from both eros and philia in that it seeks a perfect kind of love that is at once a fondness, a transcending of the particular, and a passion without the necessity of reciprocity.

Beautiful, right? Almost brings a tear to your eye. Or maybe that’s just me. Anyway, I feel like this sets the stage pretty well. Agape evokes certain themes: purity, selflessness, clarity, innocence. Not necessarily traits that embody Yuri as a character, but that’s what makes it interesting, isn’t it? (I’ll go into this more later.)

The song

Yuuri: “It’s very clear and innocent, like someone who doesn’t know what love is yet.”

Holy shit. I really, really love this song. I can listen to it over and over and have done so many times. It’s just gorgeous. I do enjoy Eros, too, but something about Agape just really resonates with me. I’m going to punctuate this liberally with lyrics (fun fact: music with lyrics wasn’t allowed in ISU competition until 2014), which I have taken from the YOI wikia in the case of the Latin-English translation. The Japanese-English ones were done by me.

Since my life is only temporary, it desires ardently the eternal love

The translation of this line from Japanese to English (rather than Latin to English) is somewhat different:

This life, driven by passion, is like the briefest flicker I pray for an eternal love

The addition of “driven by passion” is fitting (as opposed to the Latin’s use of “desires ardently”). It makes it seem a little more forthcoming, which is very appropriate for Yuri, who is very obviously driven by passion.

I will believe, I will give, I will wait, I will honor I will work, I will give thanks

Here, too, the Japanese-English translation differs slightly:

I believe, I sacrifice, I seek, I revere, I bear it and I give thanks

I feel like these lyrics in particular do speak to him at least a little. When you remove the religious connotations (whether or not he’s actually religious at all seems to be up for debate - personally, I take the giant, gaudy cross necklace he wears in WttM with an equally giant grain of salt), a lot of these words ring true. Sacrifice? Check. This kid provides for his family, who he rarely gets to see, and has little in the way of friends. Work? Double check. He’s been busting his ass almost his whole life. The waiting part is iffy, but I guess I have to give him credit for holding off on doing quads while still in the junior bracket, even if that was only to get Victor to choreograph his next program. It totally counts.

And at the end, opening doors hidden to us, solemn and famous, it will take care of us to us, solemn and famous, it will take care of us

And the Japanese version:

At last the hidden door is exposed God's great spirit appears, bringing with it pure healing

Clearly, the second is more explicit when it comes to the religious themes. I think in some ways the Japanese version kind of expands on the Latin version, which seems a little more vague.

One can certainly speculate that there are death themes at play in this song, with death presumably being the “hidden door.” The final two verses can be interpreted to be a reference to death as well (the Japanese version is not much different, so I’ll only share the Latin):

The grand, grand Mercy. Ah! I hear your voice My freedom is near! My life with love, the peace of benevolence That this is the eternal happiness, I pray.

The only real difference between the Latin and Japanese versions are that "Mercy" is replaced with "god's love" in Japanese. Whether this “eternal happiness” refers to something like the afterlife is probably subject to interpretation unless there’s some translated commentary floating around that I haven’t seen (which is certainly possible).

On the other hand, it could just be some kind of reference to opening your heart to God’s love or whatever. Who knows? Not me, clearly.

Yuri: “Switch them! That piece isn’t me at all!” Victor: “You have to do the opposite of what people expect. How else will you surprise them?”

Yuri makes it no secret that he doesn't care for this song. He's Not Into It. When Victor plays it for him and Yuuri for the first time, he proclaims that "this innocence crap makes [him] want to barf." He wants Eros, but of course that's not how Victor assigns them and he winds up with Agape. This is the part where I admit I'm really glad, because Yuri is my favorite character and Agape is my favorite program. What can I say.

The choreography

How do you take a song (and concept) like Agape and a character like Yuri and make it actually work? The program itself, of course. Choreographed by Victor (as he originally promised), it does a fantastic job of turning an angry little hellspawn of a teen into the embodiment of the highest form of love.

(Please excuse my extremely fake photoset - tumblr will not let me do what I want. Thanks tumblr.)

The program begins with him facing the ground, and then reaching up towards the sky. Possibly to a higher power? As the program comes to an end, he’s got both arms extended upwards, hands clasped together as if in prayer. That makes it a little less ambiguous, especially considering the song closes with the words esse oro, or “I pray.”

The program composition is as follows, according to the official guidebook:

Triple axel Flying sit spin Change-foot camel spin Quadruple salchow/triple toe loop Quadruple toe loop Step sequence Combination spin

It also notes that the planned components were not changed for the Grand Prix Final.

You can watch the choreography as performed by a real person on the second BD, and you can also watch Johnny Weir do part of it on Instagram!

The costume

Yuuko: "It's the see-through costume of legend from Victor's junior days! I never thought I'd see it in person! It's so beautiful..."

I don’t know what to say here. It’s pretty. Look at it. (It’s my phone case.) I do think it’s worth noting the vague cross shape over the chest and the fact that the shoulders look somewhat like angel wings, tying into the religious themes of the song.

The part where I ramble aimlessly

Yuuri: "Everyone's drawn into Yurio's agape performance. I can tell it's completely different from what I saw in practice. No one can look away from this beautiful, ever-evolving monster!"

I think the fact that Agape is at such odds with Yuri's personality has a lot to do with why I enjoy it so much. He's called "a beautiful monster," and aside from the implication that his off-ice persona is quite different from what he typically exhibits on the ice (with the obvious exception of Welcome to the Madness, which is basically him going “hahaha, fuck you” and finally doing what he wants - I highly recommend reading @ice-tiger-kitten‘s fantastic WttM meta!), Agape (and Allegro, I guess) really embodies the “beautiful” part of that, whereas the monster comes out in WttM. Agape is very ethereal and angelic, playing into his “Fairy” nickname quite well. Which he undoubtedly hates, but hey. I happen to enjoy it. In the end, the “Punk” nickname comes out on top, anyway - WttM cemented that pretty solidly.

Yuri: “Agape... unconditional love. To me, that means grandpa.”

With that said, I don’t think Agape is that outlandish a choice for him. He did find his “agape” in his grandpa, after all. It takes him a little while to realize it - and even longer to really embrace it - but it’s a perfect example of unconditional love. It’s when he’s with his grandpa that we get to see what he’s like underneath all the prickly bullshit. He may not form relationships easily, but I think when he loves someone, he really loves someone. Maybe not unconditionally, but it’s obviously a mistake to think he doesn’t feel things besides anger and arrogance. Aside from the scenes where he’s with (or thinking about) his grandpa, he also shows this side of him when he goes out of his way to bring Yuuri pirozhki on his birthday and in his friendship with Otabek, who he actually roots for in spite of their inherent rivalry. Honestly, that’s a post of its own for another day, but I think it’s worth mentioning.

Yuri: “Sorry, grandpa. I'm too busy trying to skate the program to really think about agape at all!”

At Yuri’s first performance of Agape at Hasetsu, his performance is technically correct, but the “agape” feeling isn’t there, and he winds up losing to Yuuri. The next time we see it, at the Rostelecom Cup, he’s thrown off when he discovers his grandpa can’t stay to watch his performance and becomes angry, falling on a jump he hasn’t screwed up in a long time. In his inner monologue, he claims that he’s “not feeling agape at all.”

Despite the initial difficulty getting into it, though, Yuri nails Agape during the Final and manages to break Victor’s world record short program score. If he was simply going through the motions, stringing together jumps and spins, he would not have scored as highly as he did. This isn’t to say he doesn’t employ strategies to maximize his points (like backloading programs and doing Tano/Rippon jump variations, aka the thing where you raise one/both arms in the air), but there are elements of IJS scoring that focus on presentation - the program components score, which includes the following:

Performance/Execution: Performance is the involvement of the skater/couple/teams physically, emotionally and intellectually as they translate the intent of the music and choreography. Execution is the quality of movement and precision in delivery.

The performance aspect of this score includes “style and individuality/personality.” In addition, choreography is scored based on things like “purpose (idea, concept, vision)” and interpretation is based on the following:

Effortless movement in time to the music

Expression of the music's style, character, rhythm

Use of finesse to reflect the nuances of the music

Needless to say, if Yuri wasn’t able to pull off the concept of Agape, his scores would have suffered. It can certainly be argued that it’s just the performer in him that gets the job done, but I think the fact that he becomes able to infuse his own feelings into the program is what closes the gap.

Lilia: "His short program will have 'agape' as its theme. I believe he's found an entrance to 'love' through his many encounters with others. People shine brightest when they seek to understand what kind of love sustains them."

He may not like it - indeed, when left to his own devices, he does things like WttM, which could not be more different from Agape - but it works. They both do, somehow. He really does make Agape his own, and it’s completely believable.

...Well. Mostly.

#yuri on ice #yuri plisetsky #agape #in regards to love: agape #on love: agape #why are there so many goddamn titles for this song #some semblance of meta i guess #mine

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