#to describe it. like it's what i should be doing but not because *i* actually want to personally? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vanteguccir · 2 days

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Hey guys! I actually spent long minutes staring at these reblogs and debating whether it was worth responding and talking about or not. But as I'm not the type to take hate and keep quiet, I decided to talk about it.

First of all, Reia, you really seem like a person who doesn't read many fanfics for the way you put it in your text, so I'll explain the meaning of the word. Fanfic, short for "fan fiction", is a story written by a fan based on characters, universes, or real people (like the triplets). Fans create their own narratives, expanding or reimagining everything, creating their own version, which in real life does not exist OR, as writers, we often draw inspiration from real-life events too.

And yes, you and Evangeline are trying to be "fanfic police" and even "sturniolo police", if you scroll through the thousands of Sturniolo Triplets fanfics, you will come across A LOT where Matt, Nick or Chris go through situations of anxiety attack, panic attack, OR where the "reader" herself goes through this, sometimes even involving situations way worse than that. Furthermore, there's thousands of fanfics describing explicit sex scenes with them, the famous smuts, does that bother you too? Because in the world of someone who writes a FANFIC in here, it doesn't.

And yes, I was indeed writing about the meet and greet situation, and this was nothing new to ANYONE in the fandom WHO READS THE FANFICS HERE. I even made a post the day before ASKING who would like to read the idea, and you want to know the news? All 200 people who voted wanted it.

I understand that you feel this story is disrespectful FOR YOU, especially because it touches on a real-life situation that may be sensitive or painful for some people. I want to assure you that it was never my intention to cause harm or disrespect anyone involved in that situation.

I myself am diagnosed with chronic anxiety, and even so, I didn't feel affected by the way I wrote. In fact, I described how I feel during MY anxiety attacks.

In no way did I make fun of the situation Matt went through, in fact, my intention in writing this story was to explore Matt's complexity and show how he deals with real problems, such as anxiety. It was a way to give more depth to his situation during the tour and highlight the importance of the emotional support he receives from "Y/N". It was not my intention to mock him, but rather to explore his humanity and the challenges he faced, and I know with all the certainty in the world that I did not mock him, much less affect the people who read the story.

Please, I ask you to reevaluate the need to throw hate at a person who has nothing to do with your outside the box opinions of what WRITERS ON THE STURNIOLO'S TUMBLR should or shouldn't write about.

There are thousands of posts on Instagram and TikTok from "fans" really mocking Matt and throwing hate at him about "their bad experiences" during one of the shows, these are the people you should be giving a piece of your mind to, not me. 🩷

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #vante thoughts

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the-hydroxian-artblog · 23 hours

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Are Merch Mimics capable of using assimilation offensively against humans, for self-defense and otherwise? Like, if someone tried to break a toy/game/etc they were inhabiting, could the Mimic instead pull them in?

To a degree, yeah. I should mention though that Victor isn't "in" the TV in any magical sense; spoiler alert: he's the controller Vance is holding! Hence, the eye on the controller reacting to the dialogue. The Victor on the screen is actualy a model he rigged for a homebrew game he coded the old fashioned way, which responds to whatever inputs the controller sends to the Wii.

He actually is an active member of the homebrew community, and loves to mess with electronics the old fashioned way. Almost no one on the forums knows he's a toy bird, but are impressed nonetheless with his little projects, various rail-shooter games, and weird obsession with snarky anthropomorphic birds.

Victor could technically "jump into a game" on a tv screen, but it'd be a bit of a weird process if he doesn't know how to mod the game, so it'd look more like a shitty greenscreen effect rather than anything coherent. He'd need to learn in real time how the game is coded, how to inject arbitrary code into the system while it's running, etc etc. He CAN do that because he's a fucking NERD, but it wouldn't be a quick process at all.

I should also mention, mimics have an inherent ability to create dreams, since they come about from processing the thoughts and ideas of humans. If a human bonds with a mimic, such that the mimic now knows how the human thinks, they can pull a (somewhat) willing human into the dream when the human sleeps. So to wrap this all up: what Victor could do for a game he understands inside and out is pull a human into a dream that happens to match whatever he himself experiences as currently going on in the game. Basically the ultimate VR experience, with the mimic as a middle-man. Which might be something that'll happen in the comic soon....!

So that all seems a bit convoluted, right? Here's even more worldbuilding about matter assimilation by mimics below the cut. Stop here if you don't want a headache.

The reason so many hoops would be needed to pull a human into a game world is that assimilation is much easier on inert, inanimate objects that are not currently "in use" by a thinking thing, or something that relies on constant electrical signals to function. This can be something with brainwaves, or some other kind of animation like a normal robot. A mimic can convert a CRT TV that's turned off somewhat easily, but a TV that's turned on, with particles of every kind constantly moving into and out of it, is much harder to convert.

This means that humans and biological creatures in general are also trickier to convert, though it can still happen if done gradually enough. Hence, Victor wouldn't be able to rapidly convert Vance in one fell swoop, it'd be a whole process. It's easier to just pull a human into a dream instead, and if a mimic undersrands a video game, or a story in a book really well, they can basically make the fictional world into an extremely lucid reality for whatever human tags along with them.

I often describe mimics as just "jojo stands if they were corporeal and could just get up and move around on their own with no user"; you know how in jojo stand battles or old stories about magic curses, if you break the curse or kill the stand before its effect becomes permanent, all of the damage is magically undone? Like if you kill Green Day, the mold stand, all of the molding just instantly stops?

Mimics who use their powers of assimilation offensively work similarly; they can project their influence to a certain range, and partially assimilate matter in that range. If you knock out or kill the mimic, however, everything reverts to normal. A human who doesn't want to get converted can basically just turn around and walk away most of the time, or shoot the mimic, so the mimic in question needs to pull off some trick to get the human to stay within range for the assimilation to fully stick. A human can still break free and get out of range even if fully converted, but it's much harder, as assimilation usually means the mimic gaining greater control over the converted object in question. The exact range and effect mimics have is again like jojo stand ranges; it varies.

Different mimics have different affinities for different things. Victor can assimilate cheap electronics fastest because he likes them and understands how they work (it's why he's a toy bird mp3 player). Az can assimilate guns, and turn ammo into weird anomalous ammo with weird effects. Zachary is a genius who can assimilate any matter, including biological matter, faster than anyone... but he's also extremely picky and hates the sight of blood, so he only uses assimilation on things he really, really likes.

If I could somehow make another read more at this point, I would. It's gonna get messy:

What a weird power and setup though, right? Why? The true nature of mimics is unknown to most of them, but the deepest lore is that the first mimics were constructs made by a people long ago, who first made them as highly advanced machines that'd recognize the thoughts of their masters to fulfill any practical desire. Need a road built? Done. Need a ship repaired? Done. With physical needs all met, the people began to turn inward, and use the mimics to illustrate their own artistic ideas. Eventually, the will and consciousness of these people were assimilated and inherited by mimics, who themselves became people. Mimics spread, altered themselves, duplicated, deviated, fused, split, and wandered around. Getting into recreational wars, manifesting horrors and delights into reality because they could.

Somehow, after the dust settled, the strongest mimics, the angels, decide to set their sights to the stars, and observe other lifeforms develop technology and their own art. Did mimics come to earth millions of years ago, and simply watched humans grow, evolving with them in-tandem? Or did humans make the first mimics, and somehow became undone and set back to the stone age? The answer to this mystery is currently known only to the oldest of mimics. Except Zachary. He's old, but didn't care to remember.

This is generally why mimics seem so compatible with humans; they were made by either them, or people who were, for whatever the reason, very much like them, flaws and all. The ability to assimilate is basically the conversion of matter into a more malleable state of information. A virtually magical power, but this was achieved not through prayers and spells, but a very human-like obsession with developing technology to the point of exerting control over molecules, then atoms, then the lowest planks of matter. The obsession with scaling every mountain and crossing through every valley. To rip the natural world apart, and hopefully, put it back together before it's too late. Angels seek to ensure humanity walks the right path there, but with human's own desires and intent honored, for better or worse.

To answer your question: yes. A mimic of Mario can pull you into the game and you can jump with him and eat shitty low poly spaghetti with him.

The process for doing that is just convoluted and complicated, and you need to get to know each other a bit first. If he tries to use it as an attack though, it either won't work, or it might just wind up giving you mild brain damage.

#Victor #Merch Mimic #worldbuilding #Character Design #Fantasy race design

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i-guess-im-into-this-now · 2 days

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The Apothecary Diaries

S1E16 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lakan - mysterious officer

Basan - an officer who works in the palace

Jinshi is deeply divided on whether he should have allowed Lakan access to Maomao. He's going to feel pretty guilty if things go badly.

Jinshi explains the details of the case of the metalworker's estate to Maomao. She's always interested in a mystery.

Jinshi: What's with all the sudden enthusiasm?

Dude is asking a question he knows the answer to.

Solving mysteries is where Maomao shines. Jinshi knows this better than anyone. It's one of the things that knocked him head-over-heels for this lady. But he's a little ticked at how easily Lakan was able to hook Maomao's interest. Lakan who hasn't even met Maomao yet, knew exactly how to lure her out. Perhaps Jinshi was hoping that Maomao would refuse, and release him from the deal he made with Lakan. Why did he agree to this? Jinshi is supremely uneasy with all of it.

As the conversation progresses Jinshi takes a more comfortable position on the couch, no longer bothering to behave as a proper palace official or even an employer in front of Maomao. Rather his pose is more like the casual sprawling one might do with family or friends. Jinshi is so persistent in how he stays open and inviting to Maomao, even in his body language. In this scene, Maomao is kneeling properly at the low table. Her body language is formal.

Lakan had provided an address to follow up with the mystery if it intrigued Maomao.

Maomao: How well prepared. It's like he anticipated this happening.

I do not like this at all. This Lakan is too good at maneuvering Maomao and Jinshi.

Maomao request a day off to look in to the case, and Jinshi is not happy. Not because she's missing work around the residence, but because she walked so willingly into Lakan's well laid plan for her. He's probably also pissed at himself for allowing this, but apparently Jinshi really wants to know the rest of Lakan's courtesan story. Jinshi can't see what Lakan has planned, and he's very worried about Maomao. Suiren is completely fine with Maomao leaving. Smiling and waving? Is she actually happy that Maomao is leaving, or is she looking forward to drowning her in work when she returns? I can't read her yet. I miss Lady Gyokuyou and the Jade Pavilion ladies who were so sweet.

Basan. Another mystery. Damn those golden eyes! Who else had eyes like that?! Maomao said he looks familiar, and he does, but like who? Gaaaaah!

Basan is suppose to escort Maomao on her investigation, and he's still acting like an ass, and I'm still wondering when I can see Jinshi fight him again. Maomao says she can tolerate his bad attitude, since she views him as harmless. That's good, because sometimes with trauma, especially from sexual trauma, aggression can be a trigger. I don't like that she has to just put up with this guy's pissy attitude.

Fuck me, Basan and Gaoshun?! Well a blood relationship between the two at least explains why Jinshi and Gaoshun feel comfortable letting this guy go all around the palace with Maomao. Is Basan a child of Gaoshun or like a nephew or something? Is this going to be enough for Maomao to at least question if Gaoshun is a eunuch or not? No. The answer is no, but she should!

Of course Maomao solves the mystery that was left by the metalworker for his sons. A majority of this episode is spent unraveling this mystery, but as far as I can tell the details aren't important to the larger story, so I'm not going to bother describing the twists and turn of it. Basically we get to see how a father would rather go to extreme lengths to create a puzzle for his sons to try to solve upon his death, then give them words of encouragement or advice while he was still alive. The youngest son tries to reconcile the family by passing on compliments he heard his father say in private and never directly to his children. Maomao wisely bows out of that bullshit, but suggests they seek medical treatment from Luomen if they develop symptoms like their father had.

On the return trip, Basan gives Maomao a considering look. Perhaps he's starting to see how brilliant and capable she is? Maybe he will try to rein in his bad attitude where it comes to Maomao? Or maybe... he will fall in love with her! I don't know why I'm looking for more drama from this show, it's already angsty enough. Even so, maybe a romantic rival would help push Jinshi and Maomao past the standstill they've come to.

Lakan is back. He thanks Jinshi for Maomao's work, which I understand within the context of this show, but it still pisses me off. It smacks of misogyny as it's a subtle way of affirming Jinshi's ownership of Maomao, and demonstrates Lakan's lack of respect for women and servants.

Lakan then goes on to explain what happened sounding far too pleased, like he's already gotten everything he wanted. Jinshi knows all of this is part of a stratagem from Lakan, but what his goal is, is yet unclear. Jinshi doesn't know what happened on Maomao's outing (in his head he refers to her as "the apothecary," here which I find odd). She never reported back about her findings. And maybe that is what has Lakan looking so smug. He's uncovered that truth that Maomao is Jinshi's courtesan in name only. And even though Jinshi may be trying to hide what he feels for Maomao from Lakan, I'm sure Lakan is aware. Maomao is a soft spot to attack or control Jinshi.

Jinshi notes that Lakan is very good at discovering people with talent. And now his attention has landed on Maomao. He talks about the three sons each finding their proper place, and I can't help but think that Lakan believes "finding one's proper place," also applies to Maomao and Jinshi. It's possible that Lakan is insinuating something to Jinshi about him not being in his proper place; perhaps he knows something about Jinshi's true identity. But more likely Lakan is thinking that Maomao is not in her proper place here in Jinshi's residence. Lakan gave her a test and he was delighted by her ability to pass it. Does he intend to remove Maomao from Jinshi's employ? This guy is definitely not done with Maomao.

Lakan: The late metalworker's creations were absolutely remarkable though. There was this simple looking metal piece, that when combined with a ritual utensil... it looked truly magnificent.

I don't know what that thing is, but Lakan's scuzzy look combined with Jinshi's disgust is enough to tell me it's something terrible. What kind of ritual are they talking about here? Jinshi straight up lets us know that this is beneath him. What kind of ritual would be something that someone in Jinshi's position would never use? Jinshi knows that Lakan knows that this is not relevant or appropriate. Lakan so very clearly said it to see how Jinshi would react. And Jinshi is doing his best to hide his thoughts and reactions, but I get the feeling that Lakan can see everything. I can only guess based on the way my stomach feels nauseous watching this exchange that this item is used for something heinous like slavery or rape. Props to the storytellers here for freaking me out. I hope I'm wrong and the horrid thing is a spoon rest.

Lakan: I simply can't abide good talent being kept buried. ... Those who possess genius should receive the appropriate praise and attention.

He's going to take Maomao! Stop him Jinshi!

And Jinshi is actually VERY interested in Lakan's method of decreasing a courtesan's value. Is it that Maomao still owes money at Verdigris House? Is this time now at Jinshi's residence just boughten time, and not the end of her contract? Is this why Jinshi wants to know how to bring her price down? Does Lakan know that Maomao may still have a debt to Verdigris House?! Does he plan to buy out the rest of her time?! Hell no! I won't accept that! What the hell is happening?!

Lakan doesn't want to admit to the fucked up thing he did to that courtesan, so he tells Jinshi to ask Maomao how to reduce her price. This guy is terrible. He told Jinshi his messed up story then left off the part that Jinshi most wanted to know, with a promise to tell him if he could have a chance to test Maomao. Which Jinshi agreed to. When Maomao fulfilled her part, Lakan goes back on his word and refuses to say. Utter trash. And Jinshi let himself be sucked into Lakan's game. I hate all of this.

Then Lakan leaves a beverage for Jinshi's "serving maids," i.e. Maomao. WTF. I am so creeped out by this guy.

Lakan: Farewell. Until tomorrow that is.

Yeah, we're not getting rid of this guy any time soon.

Jinshi collapses the instant Lakan leaves. Yes, Jinshi is going to have to continue to deal with this nightmare who keeps making Jinshi's life difficult, but what is really bothering Jinshi is that he knows he fucked up. Lakan came to see how interested Jinshi is in his concubine, and baited him with his own story about a courtesan. And Jinshi showed him, that he is actually very interested in Maomao. Jinshi also let Lakan take Maomao's measure, knowing this guy has a knack for determining and using such talents. Jinshi is definitely going to blame himself for putting Maomao in this guys sights.

Gaoshun makes a request of Jinshi, that we don't get to hear about, but in the very next scene Jinshi is changing his clothes and asking Maomao to help him with some makeup so is he planning to go out in disguise somewhere? Is he going to visit the annex (one of these episodes will show me what it is!)? What did Gaoshun say to Jinshi? I guess we will find out next time, since that's where the episode ends!

I'm so creeped out by Lakan, but it feels like we are about to get into some plot stuff now, so I'm excited for that.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Next Episode:

Episode 17

#the apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi x maomao #jinshi #jinmao

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athenagranted · 2 days

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idk if you're still writing the post-cemetry scene fic with pining eddie (idk if i'm describing it right) but i would love to hear more about it/see a snippet or too if you feel so inclined 👀

someone asking about angsty pining fic in the month of our lord april 2024? this was such a lovely surprise 😭 i'm gonna be honest with u anon i'm likely not going to publish 911 fic again BUT because you asked so nicely i'll give you a few older snippets from my draft:

Eddie sighs, breaking the stare. “You have a key, you know,” he says finally. “Feel free to come join me whenever you want.” He turns on his heel and walks back inside to finish his goddamn brownies, leaving Buck standing in the doorway. It’s silent for a few minutes. He’s in the middle of measuring a tablespoon of espresso powder when Buck steps into the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. Eddie feels the weight of Buck’s gaze on him as he folds the powder into his brownie mixture, but he doesn’t turn to meet his eye until Buck speaks. “Is that…” Buck falters. He clears his throat. “Is that my recipe?” “Yeah,” Eddie says gruffly. “Chris asked me to make it. Said he wanted to share it with his friends when they come over tomorrow for their playdate.” Buck snorts. “Man, you can’t call it that. Chris nearly bit my head off last time I tried. Kept reminding me that ‘playdates are for kids, Buck,’ and that he’s not a kid anymore.” Buck emphasizes that last bit with air quotes, and Eddie can’t help but grin at that. But his smile fades instantly, remembering the somber look on Buck’s face when he’d opened the door. He highly doubts that Buck came over just to commiserate about the trials and tribulations of watching Christopher grow up. Eddie bites the bullet. “Why are you here, Buck?” Buck shifts nervously. He shrugs and looks away from Eddie. “I — I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to answer that. You’ve never asked me that before.” Eddie scrubs at his face. “I've never had to ask you that, Buck. Things are different now. You’ve been busy.”

“Wow,” Buck says acidly, all traces of heartbreak gone. “I’ve never heard that one before.” Eddie frowns. “What?” “Really, Eddie?” Buck’s voice cracks on the last syllable. He shakes his head. “Unbelievable. Just — unbelievable.” “Buck — what are you talking about?” “We were just trying to protect you, Evan," Buck mocks. "You were never supposed to find out. We kept it from you because we love you. Any of that sound familiar to you?” Eddie’s breath hitches on the word love, because he doesn’t know, he can’t know, but then — Oh. Fuck.

Buck: We’ll get through this just like everything else. I promise. It’ll be okay. Buck: Eddie, did you eat enough today? Should I come by and bring you some food? Buck: You know you’re still my best friend, right? That’s never going to change, Eddie. Never. He reacts with a thumbs up or a tap-back heart on most of the messages, too exhausted to do anything else. He replies with a thumbs down to the message about food, certain that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Buck so soon. He knows he’ll have to face him in person eventually, but his tired, broken heart just wants to postpone it as much as he can. The last one, though, is a balm that both soothes and agitates Eddie’s burning, aching heart, and he taps out a brief, Thank you, you too. Always, in response. It feels like too much and not enough all at once, and Eddie wishes once again that he was a little better at resisting Buck, that he didn’t feel that need to reply to his every message lest Buck worry even more about him. The only one he actually acknowledges is a message that comes in at 2:43 AM on Sunday. As he opens the message, Eddie absentmindedly wonders if Buck’s having a hard time falling asleep for the same reason as him. Probably. It’s a link to a new exhibit at the Griffith Observatory, accompanied by a text that reads: Can I take Christopher here next weekend? Eddie squeezes back tears as he replies with a brief, Of course, and puts his phone down, letting the darkness swallow him again.

Hen beats him to it. “What happened, Buck? I thought you really liked her. Weren’t you planning to introduce her to Maddie and Chimney next week?” “Not anymore,” Buck mutters. “I broke up with her.” “What?” Eddie snaps head snaps up. “Why?” Buck doesn’t meet his gaze, his lip quivering. The rest of their team is watching them, eyes darting back and forth, and Buck blinks hesitantly before swallowing down a sip of coffee. He wipes the cream off of his upper lip and looks Eddie in the eye. “You know why,” Buck whispers.

#i love sad men. also thank u for the ask btw it does mean a lot that someone was still thinking about this fic <3 #rae writes #fic: blue skies #answered #anon

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shirtlessradfahrer · 3 days

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I absolutely love songs that immediately (or almost immediately) let me know what sort of energy to expect for the whole duration of the song. I love a consistent, aggressive, often mechanical rhythm that confidently pulls me into the song and forces my scatterbrained mind to stick to the musical “path”. Within seconds of hearing Fantastista for the first time last year I knew I had a new obsession, because it stimulated my brain oh so perfectly, as did the vast majority of his other songs. I think that (Fantastista), Hirttää kiinni, Siitä viis and Toiset samanlaiset are in my most frequently played partly for that reason.

Kot Kot, uh….does not do this. I was actively fidgeting in my chair from how irritated I was during the first listen. It frustrated me because I felt like I was being teased with spoonfuls of something really good, but as soon as I could begin to savor the taste, he yanked the spoon from my mouth and shoved a completely different spoon in instead. And tbh I'm not a fan of the increased amount of singing being added to his songs lately, but that should probably be a separate post. There are very brief, fleeting moments of joy, but before I know it, it's over.

But after several listens and going through the lyrics…I guess that’s the point? He's in a frustrating loop. He's momentarily filled with joy, but it's over all too soon, and he doesn't know where or when he'll find it again-besides The Party, so that's what he chases, for better or for worse. And if I'm being real, I've been stuck in a similar emotional loop to what he's describing more times than I'd like to admit. I still don't really love the song, but I...really appreciate it? It's hard to describe

In any case I have to say I respect him so much for trying something different, even if it’s not quite what I expected. It’s both deeply satisfying and unsatisfying at the same time, but I feel like that accurately sums up how he feels as an entertainer at this point. And it makes me even more curious (in a good way) about what the next album will be like

Also if anything like this means more visuals like t h o s e than you know what I actually have no complaints, 12/10 six out of five stars god fucking bless you man

#käärijä #alright back to crying over that red album

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deadly-espresso · 2 days

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(kenneth simmons)

apparently i have been drawing Kenneth Simmons the "incorrect" way. Kenneth does NOT have cucumbers for legs, he's actually "built like a Minecraft Skeleton". So I put my Kenneth on a diet and he now has the correct proportions. /j

(ok to be serious I saw someone describing Kenneth as being "built like a minecraft skeleton" and I was like "holy shit, that's actually a fun art idea". So I drew him like a minecraft skeleton. to be a bit more clear about what the post was about, it was criticizing about how people draw Kenneth "like a femboy" (probably in the sense of giving him more prominent hips and legs). I do believe that the original poster's got a point since even my own art is guilty of this (my art isn't all that realistic and I've drawn plenty of characters with pretty damn wide hips and legs, my OC Marble is a very noticeable case of this). However, if I do have my own criticisms about the post, Kenneth really is NOT built like a skeleton cuz even Kenneth's canonical artwork doesn't give him a waist THAT thin, and also the reasoning for why people "shouldn't" draw him "like a roblox avatar" is because he supposedly isn't a femboy? Like, even if we're working how he was described officially in text, he was described as a showy and effeminate character, and even then his fashion sense does resemble the kind of fashion that was associated with campy male characters in the late 20th century (which fits since Kenneth's story takes place mostly in the 1980s). So, it's not unreasonable that Kenneth could be described as a "femboy". So, yeah, even if the post does have a point about people's tendency to draw Kenneth with more meat on his legs compared to how he depicted officially, the claim about him being built like a skeleton isn't quite accurate either. So, in conclusion, you should have fun about how you draw characters, okay?)

(sorry for the random tangent, I just had some thoughts I needed to get out regarding this art challenge. this art challenge wasn't something done out of spite, but rather out of genuine interest and also to poke some fun at how I draw characters.)

#art #digital art #ghost and pals #minecraft #colorbars #broadcast illusion #art challenge

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the-trans-folk-witch · 2 days

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A Warning to new witches

Reading makes you smarter. But reading does not mean you are smart. This applies to those who read occult texts as well. Just because it is about magic and witchcraft, does not mean you are smart to read it. Be discerning of authors, publishers, and wording. You should not judge a book by its cover but you SHOULD judge a book by its title. be cautious of books using words like ____ Magic(k). The overuse of adjectives to describe types of witchcraft are purely used to make books attract crowds who follow trends. An example would be "Lunar Magick" which is a title to over 200+ books on amazon. They use these names to get your money for very little information. Most of these self published books are plagiarized or just watered down versions of actual grimoires with a historical basis. Be perceptive. And if you struggle to discern if a book will be good or not, ask me! I try to read the shitty throw away books just so I can help educate my mentees on what to NOT do. Know your enemies including bad authors. (Matt auryn is one of these bad authors. No matter how popular "psychic witch" is.

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syntaxaero · 2 days

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Would love to know more lore about Stratus and their lance weapon. Are they a soldier? What's their designation as an angel mean in your lore? Who of your other sonas can they beat?

YAY I GET TO INFODUMP ABOUT THE MOST LORE DENSE CHARACTER/SONA OF MINE (THEYRE SORT OF THE GLUE THAT HOLDS ALL MY CHARACTER LORE TOGETHER) So! Hmm wheres the best place to start?

What is an Angel?

Angels can be described as soldiers, or trained specialists who serve The Creator (I don't exactly have a permanent name for them currently, but I usually call them "Big Median". 'Normal' Median is actually one of Many Medians that are essentially just. Tiny Instances of The Creator.) Their primary objective is to combat and keep Entropy (The Creator's opposite, ultimate adversary) under control, ultimately preventing Entropy from destroying every single one of The Creator's universes.

Anyone can become an Angel, though that is up to The Creator's decision. As a part of this contract, Angels receive a portion of The Creator's power, typically in the form of a halo and weapon, and the ability to hop between universes, to do as The Creator commands!

What is Entropy?

Figured I should maybe include this, since they're sort of the driving force behind the creation of Angels.

Essentially, at the start of The Creator's Realm (or multiverse, whatever you wanna call it), The Creator had severed Entropy, one single being at the time, into countless pieces, limiting Entropy's power to the best of Its own ability. However, all these fragments have formed into souls and beings all of their own.

These beings, Fragments of Entropy- or Deities/Gods of Nihility as they're sometimes called-, can have GREAT power, though their power can only grow through the destruction of mana (through converting it into an anti-mana that only Entropy can wield.) Although each of these beings are essentially born from Entropy, and reincarnate once defeated, they are still independent beings, with their own unique bodies, thoughts, and desires. Aurex is one of these beings. He is capable of endless destruction. However, for no known reason, he doesn't appear to thirst for said destruction.

What can Angels do?

The typical Angel is generally capable of slaying one of these nihility gods all on their own, with relative ease. They receive a ton of training, and report back to The Creator during missions. In terms of power scale, they surpass mortals and gods (dragons capable of using elemental manas), and are on par with Demons (Dragons made by The Creator to maintain the afterlife of each universe. They're actually good guys!).

Some Angels do use elemental manas, if they were capable of doing so before becoming an Angel, but most are trained to use pure "divine" mana, and sheer physical force (hence the weapons!). They can travel at multiple times the speed of light, are protected from any and all poisons, illnesses, and most weak attacks. They can only really be hurt by particularly powerful gods, nihility gods, demons, other Angels, and of course The Creator Itself.

So, what about Stratus?

Well, the exact specifics about what led Stratus to becoming an Angel aren't exactly clear. The Creator doesn't speak Its motives. Though, Stratus does have an innately strong ability to detect manas of both divine/standard types and anti-mana, and even more peculiarly, the ability to directly influence mana itself- capable of borrowing it from other beings. As such, Stratus is one of the most powerful Angels, and popular among the Angels--

Despite their strengths, The Creator simply tasked Stratus with keeping Aurex alive- only because if Aurex is killed, his reincarnation would likely go on a destructive rampage like all the other Fragments.

Ultimately, Stratus is the most powerful of all my characters. Only The Creator or a fully powered up Aurex (/Entropy itself) would really be capable of defeating Stratus, at their theoretical strongest.

anyways all stratus really does, since they're chilling with aurex, is worldhop to try out tons of different foods-- cloudbeasts are naturally silly critters and stratus is a particularly food-obsessed one!!! once in a while stratus may be called in to assist other angels with handling a Fragment of Entropy, or universal anomalies, but most Angels can handle their assignments without much issue.

Feel free to ask specifics, or if you'd like more clarification on something!!!

#Stratus #lore #oc lore #important #ask

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thorraborinn · 2 days

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Hi there! I was wondering, would you know where I could find anything on like, social taboos involving marriage? I wanted to know if there's anything in the sagas or maybe in archaeology/anthropology that touches on forbidden unions. I know the goddess Lofn is cited as one who grants permission to such people to be together, but I wanted to know if we have anything on what these forbidden unions could look like? Off the top of my head, I imagine feuding families to be a good start, but I can't find much else on the subject. Thank you!

Marriages in Old Norse society were arranged by families (usually between the prospective husband and the father or other male relative of the prospective bride), and more for political and economic reasons than for personal ones. Some people were married specifically because their families were feuding, to bring the feud to an end (often the people involved wanted out but failure to retaliate could have consequences; uniting the families could end the feud in a way that saved face. In Old English a woman who is married into an enemy family for this reason is called freoðu-webbe, 'frith weaver'). Frands Herschend went as far as proposing to see women in Iron Age Scandinavia generally as hostages (in the sense that Freyr and Njörðr are hostages in Ynglinga saga). If the sagas are relatively accurate there does seem to have been an understanding that the family should be arranging things such that the woman is happy with the result, but they weren't legally obligated to.

In this kind of situation, a marriage that's forbidden would be basically any that either side of the family, especially the woman's closest male relatives, opposes. The reasons were probably diverse and personal, and not generally based on widespread taboos. Most of it probably had to do with money and social hierarchy.

Feuding certainly played a role here, or rather we should say relations based in reciprocity, whether positive or negative, did. As I said, marriages were sometimes arranged specifically to bring hostile families into a single family and end the conflict, but if one side thought they had the upper hand and stood to gain by continuing the hostilities then they would surely not permit such a marriage. Marriages might also be arranged out of obligation to more powerful people.

In fact, it might be possible to frame any actual social or legal prohibitions on marriage that did exist as protections for the woman from being married off to someone she didn't want, rather than restrictions on her freedom, because she hardly had any. We can surely consider divorce in a similar way, which was permitted in certain circumstances.

The main restriction that we do have evidence for is marrying someone who is too close a relation. There were probably situations where the financially or politically advantageous thing to do is to get two close cousins married to each other and it may have actually happened, but it's illegal in the laws we have a record of. This may have been less regulated in heathen times.

Of course, there could have been culturally-assumed restrictions that weren't formally prohibited in the law. There's speculation that, while a Nordic man marrying a non-Norse woman was not uncommon, happening the other way around was not generally permitted. This is supposedly reflected in the mythology, where the male gods marry jötunn women but the goddesses do not marry jötunn men. However, there is archaeological evidence from the Vendel period that contradicts this (the book I'm getting this from is over 20 years old, so by now there could be contradictory evidence from the Viking age too, but I'm not sure), so if there was ever such an ethnic taboo it must have either not been universal, or developed later. I'll also remind that there is a contradiction in the mythology as well; Gefjun isn't described as marrying a jötunn but she does have kids with one, which scholars do typically count as a violation of an ethnic taboo, sometimes as grounds to reject the myth itself as "impossible" (Lindow's description).

A lot of this may have varied by class. We mostly know about the land-owning class. It's hard to say whether poorer people would have even less freedom over whom they married because of their dependence on land-owners, or if they had more freedom because there was less social and financial stake in it. It seems likely that their marriages weren't as regulated, but their ability to actually move from place to place was the major limiting factor.

I'm not aware of any sources for it, but I have no trouble believing that illegal or otherwise unsanctioned marriage happened. The thing that kept people in line was inheritance. So if people were in a position where they could turn down their inheritance (whether because they had another source of resources or because their families were so poor their inheritance was negligible anyway), and could have a place to live, they could probably just do what they wanted.

So I think for the most part, if we were to picture Lofn's intercession as historical events, we might picture the site of those intercessions as kind of distant from the actual marriage, like opening opportunities to get by while forgoing one's inheritance, or unexpected changes elsewhere in the social network. Or a simpler example would be a woman successfully convincing her father, brother, or other male representative to let her do what she wanted.

This is a little out of step with Snorri's etymological explanation of Lofn's name as related to 'permission' but as I explained here I think the actual etymological meaning of her name was 'hope'.

Of course a lot of heathens read Lofn's description in the Edda as affirming of marriages that deviate from gender and sexual norms, which the text does in fact leave room for but probably isn't what Snorri had in mind. There's a lot of room for speculation about how this may have been relevant in pre-Christian times but it would be difficult to move it beyond speculation.

Unfortunately quite a lot of this is already pretty speculative, because of how much later our sources concerning marriage are than the time when Lofn may have actually been recognized. Frankly, the same applies to our sources for Lofn, and the time when she may have been recognized. If I'm right about the etymology of her name then I think it's at least a partial vindication of Snorri but that does not necessarily mean that his description of her is entirely reliable.

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is-the-owl-video-cute · 3 days

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I did google it. Generic unsourced websites tell me it's kink with a safeword, wikipedia tells me it's kink without a safeword, some websites imply it encompasses both with no safeword kink being the "harder" form, and in casual use I've heard all three with the second and third being most common.

I think people use CNC to mean any one of the three without clarification because they're unaware the other two exist, which makes things infinitely more confusing when discussing whether or not it's safe.

Oh my god CNC just means sexual roleplay where one partner pretends to not want it but all parties involved have safe words and open communication to ensure everyone is safe and enjoying themselves I cannot believe I have to break down the meaning of a kink that literally is an acronym of what it amounts to.

Are you confusing it with the concept of having a fake safeword to use in a scene to make it feel more realistic? Some people do that on occasion but having a fake safeword doesn’t mean you don’t have a real one.

Perhaps I was too vague.

Wikipedia is a great source for many things. It is not a great source for describing kink dynamics and bdsm practices.

At this point how about you actually talk to people who have and practice this kink in healthy ways to hear their perspective on it.

Here’s my hot take, if you’re having sex you should have a safe word and talk to your partner before and after to be on the same page. Lacking a safe word is an irresponsible exploration of kink issue, not a cnc or even bdsm specific issue. There is no correlation to cnc and lacking a safe word because the idea that fetish amounts to just having someone sign a contract saying their partner can do whatever to them just sounds like 50 Shades, not what actual people do.

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happiness-of-the-pursuit · 3 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @kiwiana-writes for the tag!! I did this back in like... October, and a LOT has changed since then lol

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

299,988 (though this includes 110,000 from the co-written PJO AU and 2,000 words from Manu's fic that I podficced to)

What fandoms do you write for?

Only RWRB for now, though never say never to others. I recently read Check, Please! and I've had some thoughts, but I have far too many WIPs for RWRB to write them rn. Also I have some ideas for The Pairing, but again, I have... so many RWRB wips...

Top five fics by kudos:

Longer Than Most | 26K, trans Henry accidental pregnancy (also this is how I found out it had become my top kudos-ed fic AH)

The Super Six Take a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair | 7K, YouTube interview

Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) | 6K, epistolary roommates

Claremont 2008 | 28K, canon divergence where Ellen gets elected in 2008, childhood friends to lovers

(Dil)Do It Yourself | 17K, meet cute at a DIY dildo workshop

Do you respond to comments?

I really try to. But. I have gotten quite behind recently. I would love to catch up but it's just a bit overwhelming at the moment.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really have any angsty endings?? but a fic @affectionatelyrs and I are working on is going to have an ambiguous ending and my joke is that someone should the version of it where things take the angsty route

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mostly write happy endings, but I am going to say that Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) is the happiest because it's kinda the tropiest

Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, but I've gotten one or two weird comments, or comments asking about updates.

Do you write smut?

I do! (this is one of the things that's changed since the fall)

Craziest crossover:

The closest I've gotten to a crossover is the PJO AU, but that's not even an actual crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! Super Six and the Siren's Call with @inexplicablymine and @read-and-write- was the first, and then I wrote Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) with @affectionatelyrs. I also did the podficcing of the voice notes for love has a voice (and it's yours) by Manu. I've also got a couple more projects coming up with Jamie also.

All time favorite ship?

Well that I've written for, FirstPrince :)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unfortunately I don't know if I'll ever finish Baby's First Pride because I've grown a ton as a writer since then and I would want to redo the old chapters and that just isn't all the compelling to me anymore...

What are your writing strengths?

I fucking hate this question. But I am going with dialogue and humor (and humorous dialogue) which has been co-signed by others so I feel less weird about saying this.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I would like to be able to keep smut more concise at times, because it always turns into a Big Scene but it doesn't always need to be a Big Scene. And I've been trying to work on a particular style of writing which is a bit more uhhh snappy? I don't know how to describe it. But that's still a huge work in progress, because I always get more rambly than I want.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I definitely try to include it for the characters in RWRB who speak other languages, and when I do I lean on my friends who speak those languages as a native speaker.

First fandom you wrote in?

Officially: RWRB. For myself: HP.

Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly it's always whatever I'm working on at the moment, which is a couple of WIPs: Fire Island WIP, Parasocial Relationship AU with @affectionatelyrs, and my Big Bang fic come to mind.

But really I want to know what y'all's favorite fic of mine is!!!!

I'll tag 20 people, sorry if anyone's done this recently, but in case anyone wants to go again: @mainstreamelectricalparade @14carrotghoul @anincompletelist @littlemisskittentoes @gay-flyboys

and @songliili @gayrootvegetable @leojfitz @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

and @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie @captainjunglegym @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise

and @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @bribumblebee @nocoastposts @magicandarchery @itsmaybitheway!!!

#20 questions for fic writers #tag game #happinessofthepursuit writes

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diabolikangel158 · 3 days

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Maybe We Should Talk About It...Or Not?

WARNINGS: Mentions and/or use of the following: verbal, sexual, emotional, physical abuse, strong language. No explicit smut, but somewhat mentioned. Alcohol abuse (?) slightly. Valentino. Yes. That should be a warning.

Valentino x Reader angst

Admit it. The only reason you stay with Valentino is because you don’t know what it’s like to have someone who actually cares about you. You’re used to the abuse already.

That’s what Husk told you one of the nights you were visiting the hotel, drinking your worries away. At the time, you had just blown him off, telling Husk to mind his own business. After all, what would his alcoholic ass know about meaningful relationships?

You decided to return to the V tower shortly after that. You knew Val would get upset if you “overstayed your welcome” as he would put it. So, you call up one of the drivers Valentino lovingly appointed to you. Getting in the backseat, you thought back to what Husk said. You’re used to the abuse already. You suppose that is the price you pay for blabbing to him about all your family problems you used to have when you were alive.

You head to Valentino’s room– well, your room, too. There’s hardly a night that goes by where Valentino doesn’t want you in his bed. Unless Angel Du– no, no. There’s hardly a night that goes by where Valentino doesn’t want you. Husk’s words echoed in your mind. Maybe if you talked to Valentino… everything could be cleared up? Surely?

You knock on the porn production room; Val must be working late. One of his employees opens the door for you nervously, and moans fill your ears from the actors’ performance. “Good evening, Ms. Y/N. He’s just finishing up.” You nod and your eyes trail to Valentino, sitting with confidence in his director’s chair. Valentino felt your eyes, regarding you for a moment. He winks and throws a smirk your way before turning back to the scene in front of him. Your heart couldn’t help but flutter– out of love or anxiety you couldn’t quite tell anymore. Or was it always one in the same?

You wait patiently while Valentino finishes the shoot. When it’s done, he motions to you with one of his hands, beckoning you closer. “Hey, amorcito… What are you doing here?” He blows a heart-shaped puff of smoke in your direction.

You try not to make it too obvious how much you revel in his attention. “Um… babe? Can we talk for a minute?” You ask carefully.

He sighs with a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Fine…what do you need, amor?”

You fiddle with your fingers and turn your gaze to the floor between your feet. “It’s…come to my attention that…” You struggle to find the best words to describe your feelings.

He hums with curiosity. “Hm? What is it? Did someone badmouth me again?”

“Well not really… more like… us?” You reply quickly. You know he abhors when people speak poorly of him.

Valentino seems uninterested, yet annoyed at the same time. As though people speaking badly about the relationship with you is fine, but your concern is irritating. He takes another breath from his cigarette. “And what did they say about us?”

You take a deep breath and hurriedly tell him with a glance to his face, “They say that you’re actually really toxic and that the only reason I don’t know is because I’m so inexperienced and just used to it.”

Valentino looks down at you and whistles lowly, blowing even more smoke in your face. “Oh boy… and you’re telling me you actually believe that garbage?”

You’re back to fiddling and looking down. “Well sometimes you..well you…”

Valentino’s eyes narrow. “Oh yeah? Sometimes I what?”

Your voice lowers to a whisper. “Sometimes you get a little… mean.”

The tension is thick in the air. Valentino looks around the set, dropping his smile. “Everyone except Y/N get the fuck out!” The rush as though their lives depend on it; in all honesty it probably does. He turns his attention back to you. “Oh right…I’m a horrible person to you, right? I’m so horribly mean and inconsiderate to you. Is that what you’re saying, carino?” You don’t say anything. “Well? Go on, don’t be silent now. Say it. That’s what you believe isn’t it?”

“No…I- well…You are unsure how to proceed. You subconsciously start rubbing your forearm and wince. There’s a fresh bruise there that you had forgotten about.

Valentino smiles, flashing that golden tooth of his. He peers at you over his heart-shaped shades. “Ah there it is. The bruise. Of course. Did I do that, amorcito? Am I the one who causes those bruises?” He asks, sugary sweet. You nod slightly. He nods along with you, leaning down to get a closer look at your face. “Yeah. Just as I thought. You honestly believe I abuse you, don’t you?”

You can’t help the tears that start to form in the corner of your eyes. “I don’t know…is this…that?” You ask with genuine questions in your voice.

Valentino notices your welling tears, saying, “Yeah that’s right, just keep crying. Go on, get your little act out because you’re just so abused and innocent. Cry on command just like the little actress you pretend to be.”

His words hurt. “I’m not pretending!” You cry out. “I just… wanted to talk to you about it.” You wipe pathetically at your tears, hoping that maybe if they stopped, it would quell Valentino’s anger towards you, even if just a little.

Valentino sighs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure you did. And is that all you wanted to “talk” about?” He places one pair of his hands on his hips, while the upper pair lights another cigarette. You nod and he looks down on you. “Right… So what about those bruises? How’d you get those? Did another man hit you? Is there another man you care for, amorcito?” He inhales the smoke, a small smile forming in the corner of his lips.

“No of course not,” You reply swiftly. “Maybe… you don’t realize it… but you’re… you can… be a little rough with me at times, love.” You trail off slightly. You are running out of ways to describe things in a… nice way.

He looks unbothered by your words, giving a small shrug. “Oh I see… so I just get a little rough is that it? You know, that’d be fine if you didn’t have such fragile little bones and weren’t such a coward. All it takes is a little shove and you’ve got bruises. Does it hurt more because I’m mean?”

You take a small step back, replying, “Nevermind…I’ll just go back to my room.”

“Oh no, no, no,” Valentino chuckles. “You’re not going anywhere. We’re going to finish this little chat right here.” You pretend not to hear him and try to open the door, but he smoothly blocks your path. “Where do you think you’re going, amor? I told you, we’re not done here. You wanna talk about bruises? Fine, let’s talk about bruises. But you’re going to listen to me now.” He roughly grabs your arm and you flinch as he points at the array of blemishes present on it. They vary in color; different stages of healing. Yellow, purple, blue. An in-progress canvas he paints on you. “So I’m the reason for all of these. That’s what you’re saying, right?”

You can feel the rising panic inside of you. You regretted everything. “Y-yes.” You stutter out.

Valentino’s grip tightens around your arm. “And are we going to ignore the fact that you’re such a fragile little thing? You bruise so easily. That’s not my fault, is it amorcito?” He pauses, taking his other hand and tenderly traces the marks. His voice softens. “You have no idea how easy it is for me. Don’t you believe me? I could break your arm right now if I wanted to.” He brings his eyes to meet yours. He’s serious. Dangerously so.

“Val… please…”

He gives you a look of mock concern and he coos, tilting his head to the side and pulling your arm close to him to cradle it…or prepare to break it, you’re not sure. “Aww… am I saying something that’s bothering you, carino? Is it intimidating to know how easily I can physically hurt you? Is that what all this whining is about?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? Are you sorry because you believe I abuse you? Or are you sorry because I’m right, and you’re just a frail little thing who bruises at the drop of a hat?”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

His grin widens, red saliva dripping from between his teeth as he presses his face even closer into yous. “Oh, yeah? I’m not upset. I’m enjoying this. Tell me the truth. The fact that I could break you if I wanted to… does it arouse you?”

Your eyes widen. Of course Valentino would turn this into about that. “No way! That’s not what this is about.” The panic begins to creep into your voice.

“Liar. I know you enjoy it. You don’t want to admit it, but inside you crave that feeling of fear and helplessness.” Val blows another breath of red smoke into your face.

You shake your head, but you feel confused. Do you like it? Do you like being afraid? “Maybe… but I don’t like the pain.”

Valentino chuckles again. “Sure… keep telling yourself that.”

You are desperate to simply leave this conversation and never bring it up again. “May I go back to bed?” You ask as politely as your trembling voice will allow.

He drops your arm, instead pulling you in close, holding you. “Oh no you don’t,” he says right next to your ear. “I’m not done with you yet. Tell me one thing…” He presses his lips to the side of your head, kissing you gently. You stay quiet, waiting, wishing that Hell itself would just swallow you whole so you could disappear.

“Are you scared right now?” He whispers.

“A little.”

“And isn’t that lovely? Aren’t you just adorable, all scared and helpless like this?” You try to pull away, but Valentino firmly holds you in place. “No, no, no… I’m not letting you go anywhere. I want you to stay here and tell me… Tell me how scared you are you stupid fucking bitch.”

Your heart races as you look into his eyes, the fear plainly written in them. “I’m scared. Very scared.”

Valentino strokes the top of your head, smiling into you and continues in a mockingly kind tone. “That’s good… Do you know what that fear makes you?” You shake your head. “That fear makes you mine. It means I have control over you and there is nothing you can do to stop me. I’m the one who decides what happens to you. Do you understand…amorcito?”

“Yes… Valentino.” You look off to the corner of your eyes, ashamed.

“That’s right. Good girl. Just a scared little actress who’s too inexperienced to know how good she has it…or when she’s being taken advantage of by people trying to ruin the only good thing that’s ever happened in her pathetic, miserable life.” Valentino abruptly stops caressing your hair and grips it hard, forcing you to look in his eyes. “Now tell me… are you going to be good for me from now on?”

You nod helplessly. “Yes Val.”

“Good!” He smiles and lets go of you. It’s as though nothing even happened. The air feels clear again, the tension gone. “That’s better. Now go ahead, little one, go back to bed.” Valentino kisses your cheek happily. “I’ll be there soon.”

You turn around slowly and begin the walk back to Valentino’s room, heart beginning to calm down from the danger.

“And remember,” Valentino calls out from behind you. “Next time I might not be so gentle.”

#valentino x reader #valentino #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #angst #hazbin hotel valentino x reader #val x reader #hazbin hotel val x reader #val

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davey-in-a-minivan · 3 days

Note

Second Star to the left Pasithea Au??? 👀👀👀👀

okay there are actually three permutations that @munchiezxx and i discussed (listed in increasing order of my fondness for them!)--

scoutminder jane, scout sophie:

personalitywise, this one feels most obvious--sophie's got that intrepid explorer air, and jane WOULD be over-particular and stressed if she had to try to watch over sophie in a situation where she has almost no actual influence!

remember that part in pasithea season 1 where jane admits she doesn't mind hearing sophie's stories about other planets bc they're probably the closest she'll come to seeing new worlds herself? scout sophie lovingly describing her planet for the sake of jane, who they both assume will never see it, is born from that same wistfulness

like bell, scoutminder jane ONE HUNDRED PERCENT has a "criminal due to decisions of conscience" past that she drops no hints of and sophie is too self-absorbed to prod until something happens

a very funny situation made possible by this set up is that moreau is jane's on-station nemesis that she complains to sophie about and sophie's like "um are you're sure they're not flirting?? *i* think they're wildly attracted to you and it's pissing them off. you should flirt back" and jane's like "you're insane" and sophie, who finds the saga wildly entertaining, is like "jane pleeeease, im stuck on this nowhere planet, i can't start drama myself, you have to do it on my behalf, i'll literally coach you" except then one day jane gets on the radio and says "um. something very lgbt just happened between me and moreau" and sophie's like 👁👁 wait a minute (<- suddenly super jealous and BLINDSIDED by the feeling bc she literally spent weeks egging jane into this)

sometimes sophie crosses a line and jane gives her the cold shoulder, refusing to talk about anything non mission related, and sophie resorts to narrating stupid choices she's "going" to make until jane can't take any more and is like "i know you know that putting your fork in the outlet won't fix it, stop that" and sophie (who was bluffing about the fork AND the broken outlet) is like well okay fine :) 2. scoutminder sophie, scout jane:

my backstory thought here is maybe instead of jane getting thrown in prison for the ssttl-verse equivalent of the rowley conspiracy, she was "invited" to become a planetary scout

sophie would probably have an ideological faith in the institution of the scouting office (which she works for as scoutminder) that gets broken down over the course of the story

jane would freely rearrange mission priorities and modify equipment to suit her and sophie's like "for the love of god there is protocol to follow." and does jane listen? no <3

jane asks sophie to slip hieronymus cheng novels into her data download packages and sometimes she reads them out loud and sophie insists she's only half-listening and doesn't care about the plot. which is true she doesn't care about the plot!! but she loves to hear jane's voice :')

sophie also asks jane to describe her planet sometimes but she's trying so hard to picture jane, not the planet... she's like "what's the light like? is your hair up or down?"

my favorite aspect of THIS scenario is i think sophie would just wildly overshare abt her life to fill in gaps in conversation so she tells jane waaaay too much abt her love life on the station at first "for jane's entertainment" because "it's not like she's got much else going on", and then one day jane's like huh sophie hasn't told me about any of her hookups in excruciating detail recently, thank god (this is because sophie is pining horribly)

3. scoutminder jane (again), scouts sophie and george:

this one is notably different from scenario (1) bc in that one, scout sophie fills a gwen hartley-ish role; in this one she's mikhail

from sophie's pov: she finds out her planet is inhabited by a sentient species (the others!!!) and realizes that in order to protect them & humanity from each other, she has to fake her death and stay here alone. (i don't remember the name of mikhail's alien lover but THAT'S OMIKRON)

from jane's pov: sophie gets weirder and weirder over calls until jane hears another voice in the background and goes cold bc it sounds just like evelyn. and then sophie's like "yeah i need you to tell everyone i'm dead and leave me here alone with no company except my ghosts and the undead replica of the guy we both loved!!! and you have to be the only one who knows what happened to me while everyone else mourns me!!!"

meanwhile jane and moreau are having their whole haters-to-soulmates arc over the radio (remember how moreau names the egoran corpse in their closet and insists jane treat her with respect?? they would sooo anthropomorphize their bot and then condescendingly explain to it why jane is wrong during arguments)

also moreau's a xenobiologist and i just think they deserve to have a field day investigating the weird vines on their planet and jane listens to a thirty minute monologue abt the vines' growth behaviors and is like "wait why is this so endearing"

jane gets in trouble for insubordination on the station bc of course she does and moreau finally gets josephine to track down information abt jane's background, finds out abt [rowley conspiracy equivalent] and is like "oh shit. that actually makes me like her even better. shit she can't go to PRISON abt this"

i do think coordinating a long distance jailbreak by calling in favors from random ppl who are fond of jane (anders? david alegros?) is something moreau is capable of AND likely to do

so jane escapes to moreau's planet, they finally meet in person, and then sophie turns up out of fucking NOWHERE to find jane bc while moreau's been having their ssttl 'express your newly recognized feelings for your erstwhile scoutminder by breaking them out of jail and bringing them to your planet' plotline, sophie was having her pasithea s3 'i need to convince the aliens to give me a ride home' plotline

now all three of them are on a planet together and it's GOING to cause problems!! but the fun kind!!!

ANYWAY THANKS FOR ASKING!!!

#THE SCOUT/SCOUTMINDER SET UP IS JUST SOOOO FUN #like really how could a scout Not develop a really intense relationship w the ONE person they talk to??#second star to the left #ssttl #the pasithea powder

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krirebr · 3 days

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So, I've been going back and forth about sharing this here but it's really been dominating my thoughts for the last two days, and while I've talked about it a lot with friends, I'm hoping that writing everything down will help me process things. And maybe other people, especially aspec people might be able to relate.

I mentioned on Wednesday that I'd had a really terrible evening that had really shaken and upset me. Below the cut, I want to share what happened.

TWs for references to depression, aphobia, exclusionism, and bad therapy (there's probably a better word for it but I'm not sure what it would be.)

So some of you know that I started this year with a pretty intense depressive episode. It was bad enough that I had to take a leave of absence from work and pretty much spent that whole time crying in bed. It's taken a lot of work over the last few months to get myself back to a more stable place. A big part of that work has been regularly going to therapy.

I went to therapy on and off as a kid and in college, but not at all since then. All of my previous therapeutic experience was long before I came out as aroace. There's a long, ongoing history of aspec identities being medicalized and pathologized and that's something I was very aware of while looking for a therapist this time around. But I was also really desperate for help. So I chose as wisely as I could and crossed my fingers.

I chose a queer therapist who specialized in LGBTQ issues. I told them I was aroace in my first session and while they didn't seem very familiar at all, they also didn't make me overly explain myself or want to focus on that rather than the very real and urgent issues I had come to them for, which is what I'd been most worried about.

As I continued to meet with them weekly, they would sometimes ask questions about it, and while it was pretty clear they didn't really get it, they were respectful about it and it wasn't interfering with the help I actually needed.

That brings me to my appointment this Wednesday. I didn't have anything really pressing to discuss so they asked about my plans for the week and I mentioned that I was getting my hair cut and I was excited because I've been feeling lately like my hair is really hetero (I use that word instead of straight because my hair is so, so curly 😂) and I was looking forward to having queer hair again. They stopped. "Wait," they said, "I'm confused. Why did you use that word to describe yourself?" It had never occurred to them that aspec identities would be considered part of the queer community. They, in fact, had an incredibly narrow definition of the word queer - gay, just gay. And they didn't consider asexuality or aromanticism to be orientations at all.

My memories of the following conversation are pretty jumbled, but some highlights included such chestnuts as "What if you meet the right person one day?", asserting that the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for ally, there has to be a sexual component to romantic relationships, and "everyone has to have attraction, humans are sexual beings." They also said that we should dig into my childhood going forward because they were sure there was something there that caused this. I had a pretty traumatic middle school experience (bullying and some psychosomatic stuff that stemmed from that) and they were pretty eager to blame all that for this.

I became increasingly defensive and combative as this conversation went on (which if you know me, isn't like me at all). It ended with us both feeling very bad and uncomfortable.

I think they kind of came around a little bit by the end. They seemed open to educating themselves and even sent me a link to an article they'd found after our session. And that's great, I guess? But the whole thing made me want to crawl out of my skin. I cried a lot when I got home.

I'm not exactly sure what to do from here. My initial plan was to go next week, talk through what happened, offer some context for why I had gotten so defensive, and discuss together whether this was going to be a good long-term fit. But that's feeling less and less likely the more I think about it (I haven't been able to stop thinking about it). This is just such a big part of who I am. And it's a part of myself that I like and am proud of! And I just can't imagine a situation where I would ever feel safe talking about this aspect of my life with them. And I don't really want therapy where I'm constantly having to censor myself. So do I even go to my next appointment? I really don't know.

I know there's a lot of hopelessness in the aspec community around getting mental health care and I really don't want to add to that. I don't want to believe that we can't get help for our actual issues without mental health professionals just wanting to fix things that don't actually need to be fixed. And I hope that's not the moral or ultimate outcome of this story. I've talked to my very lovely network of queer friends and several of them have already said that they'll reach out to their contacts to find some recommendations for me. I deserve to get the help that I need in a space that is actually safe. And my need isn't as urgent as I was. I can take my time now to find someone I'm fully comfortable with.

I'm not sure exactly why I shared this. I don't always get so personal on here. And some of you have already heard it (thank you for being such good friends, seriously). But it's just been festering inside of me for the past two days and I really needed to share it. Thank you for listening.

#kris gets personal #vent post #kris rambles #asexuality #tw aphobia #therapy #bad therapy

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