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lucy90712 · 1 year

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Insecure- Pablo Gavi

A/n: hey all this if my first Gavi fic if you have any requests for him or Pedri feel free to send them to me

Wc: 1600 There is no way to escape the news it's every Instagram, Twitter, the actual news and even texts from my friends. No one will let me forget about the fact that literal the princess of Spain has a crush on my boyfriend. I'm used to people having a crush on Gavi because I mean look at him but usually it's just random people not the princess of Spain. I have tried my hardest to not let it bother me as I know Pablo will think I'm being stupid but it's so hard when everyone is talking about how the two of them could end up dating and what that would mean for his football career and whatever else.

I had managed to sort my head out and convince myself that if Pablo didn't love me he would have broken up with me but when I woke up today to find out that the king had been to visit the squad and gotten Pablo to sign a shirt for his daughter all my worries came back. The more videos that came out the more insecure I felt as he had such a big smile on his face signing the shirt and taking a photo with the king. All of this isn't helped by the fact that he's in Qatar while I'm still back home in Barcelona as we don't get to talk as often because of the time difference and our schedules. Not getting much time to talk means I never bring up my worries as I don't want to waste the time we get to call on what is definitely me being stupid.

Despite all of this I'm still excited as I'm actually going out to Qatar to watch the next game which Pablo doesn't know about so I get to surprise him after the game. We haven't seen each other in ages as of course he's been at the World Cup and even before that we were both so busy we didn't get to see each other so it's probably been about a month since I've seen him in person. The only person that knows I'm coming is Pedri as I told him so that he could help me organise everything as I have no idea where the best place to stay is and I know you can't get tickets so last minute but he helped me with all of that. Having to hide my plans has been difficult as all I want to do is tell Pablo that I will be there especially when he says he wants me to see him play but I've stopped myself from telling him as I hope he'll like the surprise.

There was a a lot of delays on my flight as the plane was late to board so then we arrived into Qatar late and then it took ages to get my bags so my schedule has been thrown out the window as I need to drop my bags at the hotel and head straight to the stadium to make it for the start of the game. Of course there is a whole load of traffic but luckily once I made it to the hotel I could walk to the stadium so I grabbed my bag and sprinted to the stadium and just about made it before kickoff. There was no time to catch my breath as the match had started and it was already pretty tense as this game determines whether the team make it out of the group stages.

It was very tense the entire game as at times they were going out and others they were top of the group and then they were second. The guys were trying so hard to score another goal but Japan were playing really well and just not letting it happen. Pablo was subbed at 68 minutes which I could tell he wasn't too happy about but he still sat and watched the team for the rest of the game. The match ended 2-1 to Japan but the boys made it through 2nd in the group which means they will be facing Morocco in the next round which I think will be a hard game as they have been playing incredibly well but I know they will put up a fight.

After the match finished I left my seat and went with all the other family of the players to go and meet them outside the changing room. Up until I was stood waiting to see Pablo I was excited but standing there I got nervous because what if he doesn't want to see me? What if he has thought about our relationship while we've been apart and thinks he'd be better off with someone like the princess. So many thoughts were swirling around my brain that I didn't even notice Pedri come out and walk over to me until he tapped my shoulder which got my attention.

"Hey are you ok?" He asked

"Yeah I'm fine just nervous" I replied

"Ok well he'll be out in a minute I'll see you both later" he said giving me a hug and then walked away

Once again I was on my own just waiting which made all the thoughts come right even though it was just a few minutes I got myself so worried that my hands were all sweaty but also shaking with nerves. This time I was paying attention so when Pablo came out the door I locked eyes with him and tried my best to give him a smile. He came over right away and gave me a quick hug before linking our hands together and dragging me out of the stadium. I thought seeing him would make me feel less insecure but after that reaction I honestly feel worse. To me it just seemed like he didn't want me to be there and he didn't want anyone to see me there as normally after a game we will stand together for a bit before we leave but this time he just dragged me straight out. It also hurt as when he came out the dressing room he was smiling but when he saw me his smile seemed to disappear which almost made me cry but I held it together just about.

We made it back to the hotel and went up to the room together where I hoped he might actually seem excited to see me but no he just sat on the bed and went on his phone. I crawled on the bed next to him and rested my head on his shoulder to see that he was on Instagram looking at edits people had made of him and the princess together. That was the last straw for me and the tears started to fall rapidly down my face so I got up and shut myself in the bathroom where I just let all my pent up emotion go until I was sobbing. I tried to my best to be quiet but Pablo must have heard me as I heard him knock on the bathroom door before it opened as I didn't lock it. As soon as we looked at each other he came and sat on the floor next to me and pulled me into his lap. He tried to wipe the tears from my face but they just kept falling so he tried gently rubbing my back to calm me down.

"What's wrong mi amor?" He asked

"Do you still love me?" I asked back instead of answering

"Of course I do so much what makes you think I don't?" He questioned

"Well you didn't seem too happy to see me back at the stadium and when we got here you were looking at edits of you and the princess if you would rather be with her I'd understand but just tell me now" I said

"Oh sweetheart I'm sorry I didn't meant to give you the wrong impression I don't want to be with anyone other than you I promise" he said

"Then why did you act like you wished I wasn't here?" I asked

"I didn't mean to love I'm sorry I was just upset about the match and I wasn't expecting to see you I should have acted differently so I'm sorry but I'm very happy you're here" he said

We talked things through a bit more and he made me feel a lot better about my insecurity without making me feel stupid which I was worried about. Communication is all we needed but it was the one thing we weren't doing so when we actually talked about everything going on in our heads it made everything so much better. I promised to tell him when if I was feeling insecure and he promised to not let games interfere with our relationship which I think will help us in the future.

He said he wanted to make it up to me so he picked me up and carried me to the bed where he attacked me with kisses all over my face until I was laughing and smiling. When he'd cheered me up he turned the tv on and we watched a film together while cuddling. We also ordered room service most of which I ate as Pablo has a diet he is supposed to follow but I did make him eat a few things and promised not to tell anyone. We stayed up longer than we probably should of but eventually we fell asleep cuddling and much happier than we were a few hours ago.

#pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi imagine #gavi imagines #gavi oneshots #pablo gavi oneshots

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mrscakeishere · 5 months

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Innuendos Aplenty

As we are gearing up for the pending GOAD Smut War (Jan 8th!), I wanted to share a little snippet Polychrome (@polychromicron-persei-8) and I wrote from An Ode To Eclairs (Rated Explicit). The excerpt below is NSFW (or at least for my work) but rated M.

As context, Crowley is trying his hardest to get Aziraphale to engage in phone sex. It's a bumpy start:

“What are you doing right now, angel?” Crowley cooed, one hand holding his mobile phone, the other brushing along the top of his pants.

“You know what I’m doing,” Aziraphale replied curtly. “I’m talking to you.” He placed another book on the shelf.

“No, I mean…what are you doing?” Crowley used his most honeyed voice, wanting Aziraphale to play his little game. The line was silent. “Sexually,” Crowley added, hoping this would garner an actual response.

“Oh!” Aziraphale exclaimed, finally twigging the intention of the call. “Oh, I…uh…I’m…” Aziraphale looked at the hardcover book in his hand. The title was plausibly spicy if no one asked too many probing questions. “I’m reading Curious George.”

“Oh?” A sly smile grew on Crowley’s lips. His angel was finally playing along. “What’s he so…curious about?”

Aziraphale considered saying, “he likes a good banana,” but thought better of it. He needed to find a different book.

Aziraphale quickly ran his fingers across the spines of the works on the shelf in front of him. James and the Giant Peach? Aziraphale paused. Possible. Was he the peach? The Poky Little Puppy? No, think! He had to get out of the children’s section.

“Angel?”

“Uh yes! Um…no, not Curious George…er….” Aziraphale ran to the other side of the bookshop, the phone cord circling around his waist, and pulled out the first thing he saw. “I’m reading…Naked Lunch!”

Bingo!

Aziraphale had been so joyous with the adult book’s title that he had shouted it straight into Crowley’s ear, causing the demon to yelp and drop the phone.

“Crowley?”

There was a scuffling noise on the other end of the line.

“Yes…so…Naked Lunch.” The demon let out a soft moan. “That sounds very titillating.”

“Oh it is,” Aziraphale replied, scanning his memory for what happened in Naked Lunch that didn’t involve drugs and made any sense. He didn’t have much to work with. “It takes place in Morocco.”

“Ah, the desert. No wonder it had to be a naked lunch.” He put the emphasis on naked lest the angel get distracted. “I bet it got so hot they had no choice but to strip off. Do you feel hot, angel?”

“Well, actually, that’s a common misconception,” Aziraphale stated matter-of-factly. “Moroccan winters are in fact rather cold.”

“Oh…er…but they’re having lunch in summer, right?”

Aziraphale frantically flipped through the pages. This is why people have cliff notes! Where was the bit about Morocco?! A.J. wearing a walking condom-covered penis costume…that’s not it! Junkies…more junkies… He closed the book with a panicked sort of resignation. Just fake it, Aziraphale!

If you'd like to read more (including how they got to this point, where they end up, and what eclairs has got to do with any of it) visit https://archiveofourown.org/works/52581016.

Also, words can not express how much I enjoy writing with Polychrome! Our writing goal often centers on giving the other author something funny to wake up to (we're in very different time zones). I think that shows throughout this whole story.

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beebascloset · 2 years

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Ethical Alternatives to Dolls Kill

While Dolls Kill offers kawaii, punk, goth, and streetwear fashions, they’re an unethical fast fashion company that has been accused of stealing designs from small creators. They’ve also been accused of promoting rape and racism (implying that only white people can be goth, selling a Native American headdress as a costume, and supporting police during the Black Lives Matter movement) and having a lack of transparency in how they reduce their impact on people, animals, and the environment. With this in mind, here are some of my favorite alternatives I found (you can tap on the titles to access the sites)

LOUDBODIES

This Romania-based retailer offers sizes from XXS-10XL, and you can even make a custom order for free if you'd like! Many of their pieces are pricey, but they do offer an affordable line of fashion. Their values include sustainable and recycled materials, made-to-order clothing, low waste production, OEKO-TEX certified fabrics, carbon neutral shipping, body-inclusive models (see above) and locally-made clothing. They also offer worldwide shipping.

NOCTEX

NOCTEX is great for dark, goth, edgy fashion. They’re based in Canada and ship internationally. Available sizes only include XS-XL, but this retailer uses reclaimed and deadstock materials, and also have low-waste production. They offer many items including tops, dresses, pants, skirts, footwear, and accessories like bags, makeup, and jewelry, so there’s a lot to choose from!

Uye Surana

For lingerie lovers, this is the place! While they’re based in New York, their clothing is ethically made in Columbia, with cute designs that come in sizes XS-5XL, so it’s quite inclusive! Items include bralettes, undies, stockings, camis, and garter belts, so go on and be adorably sexy, my loves.

KILLSTAR

Despite being introduced by Dolls Kill, the UK brand Killstar is actually more ethical. In fact, they’ve cut their ties with the brand over the owner’s support of police during the BLM movement. They’ve donated to charities that promote ending racism (whereas Dolls Kill promoted racism to an extent) and they also promote individuality. They offer sizes XS-4XL (from what I’ve found) and they even have men’s clothing!

Broken Promises

Another brand that left Dolls Kill, Broken Promises is based in California. Offering sizes XS-3XL, this brand offers clothing that caters to skate culture for all genders. Their clothes are also sold at Zumiez, so if you don’t want to shop online and you would prefer to go to the mall, you’ll probably find them there!

Disturbia

And another UK gothic brand that was promoted by Dolls Kill, this family-owned business has been going strong since 2003. Their website claims that sustainability is “a core value in [their] ethos”, and their goal is to create fashion that doesn’t harm the environment. They’re committed to recycling and reducing their carbon footprint, and all of their leather is false or recycled to reduce animal cruelty. They have a fully traceable supply chain with manufacturers in the UK, China, Portugal, Turkey, and Morocco, all with safe production facilities. Rest assured, your money will be going to a great place.

Cyberdog

Ravers, this one is for you. Catering to clubbers and DJs since 1994, Cyberdog offers neon and dark streetwear. They’re based in London, and their flagship store is located in Camden Market, so anyone who lives around the area (or would like to visit) can see these rad designs in person! (P.S: A huge downside is that they only offer sizes S-L, so this brand has the smallest size range on here)

Gothic Lamb

“The home for melanated misfits”, as their designer calls it, is black-owned and offers sizes from S-5XL, making this brand one of the more inclusive ones on this list. The owner, who calls herself Lucy, founded Gothic Lamb in the summer of 2016. She was inspired by brands like Killstar and Disturbia, however, she found that there was a lack of representation at the time, as she felt that none of the models looked like her, so she decided to create her own. While there is a small collection, it’s still a great collection and it’s a great place to purchase from if you like supporting black-owned businesses.

publicspace

A vaporwave-streetwear brand based in Los Angeles, CA, they support and collaborate with artists to create their designs (hence why they’re named publicspace). Though they have a small collection, their size range is XS-3XL, so it’s mostly inclusive.

Shop secondhand

You can also shop on Etsy to purchase from independent designers. A much cheaper option would be to shop secondhand. Sites like Poshmark and Depop are great for shopping secondhand, especially if you want to buy from fast fashion brands like H&M and Shein without giving them your money. Alternatively, you can go to your local thrift shop (do not shop at the Salvation Army, they are aggressively Christian, homophobic and transphobic) or consignment store. You can give your unwanted clothes and other items to these places (consignment stores will give you a certain percentage of their price for the item) to help people and need.

In conclusion, please do not buy from unethical fast fashion retailers and consider shopping ethically, whether it be for new or used clothes.

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mainfaggot · 12 days

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Top 5 places u wanna visit GO 🎤🎤🎤🎤

hi zahra ^_^ omfg idk .. um in no particular order: metropolitan areas in Morocco (Islamic architectureeee), Turkish seaside (need to stay in a cottage and try every coffee drink), Spanish countryside (idk seems nice), Karachi (Pakistan... I've only ever been to Lahore and Islamabad lol), Jeju Island (South Korea.. i heart the sea and also tangerines)

#asks #mewchiez

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cathkaesque · 4 months

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The 'Be Nosy' question list: 4; 24; 32; 45

Hello!

4) "What piercings do you want?" I really want to get my ear lobe pierced! Very standard issue but it's not something I've ever done before. Relatedly I recently came to the conclusion that I really want to get a tattoo on my shoulder of a flock of swifts!

24) "What are three places you want to travel?" - I really want to go to Cuba, but in a political and not touristic capacity. Idk if they're still happening but there used to be these Solidarity brigades run by the trade unions that went to visit the Cuban Workers Central and I'd love to do that. I'd like to visit Souss Massa in Morocco and visit the FNSA farmworkers union. And lastly I'd really like to visit the western Scottish Isles, Skye, Mull, Rum, and see some sea eagles.

32) "If you could live in a fictional world, what would you pick?" Oh goodness, this is making me realise how long it's been since I've seriously thought about fiction...probably the Daily Mail article where Tony Benn becomes PM, abolishes the House of Lords and replaces it with a House of the Trade Unions headed by Arthur Scargill.

45) "What's the worst date you've ever been on?" - This is by no stretch of the imagination the worst date or even a bad date but it was a very funny series of events. Anyway me and my bf were at a country park, and found a trail called the "[country park] Challenge", so of course it we had to do it. It was very challenging but eventually we made it to the top of a very very tall hill. Only, it wasn't the trail, it was a dry stone wall we had chambered up, and now we were stuck at the top with no way down and it was getting dark. After some tooing and froing (where I insisted on not climbing down the sheer drop that we had climbed up), we eventually found a sheep track back down to civilisation. We got back home, exhausted but pleased to have survived the ordeal and ready for a rest and some dinner. While cooking dinner however, I touched a hob that was on and gave myself a second degree burn, requiring a very late stay at A&E. Again, not a bad date, but a wild sequence of events

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amtrax · 5 months

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Top 5 anime? Top 5 places you've visited? Top 5 places you'd like to visit? Top 5 sonic characters?

-TTGL, Cowboy Bebop, DBZ, Nichijou, FMA

-Little Tokyo (Los Angeles), Oregon, Spain, Germany, Morocco

-Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan

-Rouge, Shadow, Eggman, Surge, Amy

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emudi · 1 month

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Top 20 Most Beautiful Cities In Africa | Travel Tips

Certainly! Africa is a continent known for its diverse landscapes, rich cultures, and vibrant cities.

You may choose to watch Top 10 Most Beautiful Cities In Africa | Best Places

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Here's a list of 20 of the most beautiful cities in Africa, each offering its own unique charm and appeal:

Cape Town, South Africa: Nestled between the iconic Table Mountain and the Atlantic Ocean, Cape Town boasts stunning natural scenery, vibrant neighborhoods, and a rich cultural heritage.

Marrakech, Morocco: Marrakech mesmerizes visitors with its bustling souks, intricate architecture, and the vibrant colors of the Jardin Majorelle.

Nairobi, Kenya: As the gateway to East Africa, Nairobi blends modernity with wildlife conservation, offering attractions like Nairobi National Park and the Karen Blixen Museum.

Fes, Morocco: Fes is a UNESCO World Heritage Site renowned for its medieval medina, elaborate mosques, and labyrinthine alleyways.

Cairo, Egypt: Cairo is a bustling metropolis steeped in history, home to ancient wonders like the Pyramids of Giza and the Sphinx, as well as vibrant markets and lively streets.

Zanzibar City, Tanzania: The old Stone Town of Zanzibar City is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, featuring ornate doors, winding alleys, and beautiful beaches.

Luanda, Angola: Luanda is a coastal city with a mix of Portuguese colonial architecture and modern skyscrapers, offering stunning seaside views and a vibrant nightlife.

Johannesburg, South Africa: Johannesburg is a dynamic city known for its cultural diversity, thriving arts scene, and historical sites like the Apartheid Museum.

Dakar, Senegal: Dakar is a lively coastal city with colorful markets, vibrant music scene, and stunning beaches like Yoff Beach and N'Gor Beach.

Cape Coast, Ghana: Cape Coast is known for its picturesque beaches, colonial architecture, and its historic role in the transatlantic slave trade, evidenced by landmarks like Cape Coast Castle.

Asmara, Eritrea: Asmara boasts a unique blend of Italian colonial architecture, modernist buildings, and palm-lined boulevards, earning it recognition as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Windhoek, Namibia: Windhoek is a city surrounded by breathtaking landscapes, offering visitors a blend of German colonial architecture, lively markets, and nearby safari adventures.

Kigali, Rwanda: Kigali is a clean and green city known for its orderly streets, cultural attractions like the Kigali Genocide Memorial, and stunning views of the surrounding hills.

Accra, Ghana: Accra is a vibrant capital city with lively markets, beautiful beaches, and historical landmarks like Independence Arch and Jamestown.

Lagos, Nigeria: Lagos is a bustling megacity with a vibrant atmosphere, offering a mix of beaches, bustling markets, and a thriving arts and music scene.

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia: Addis Ababa is a city of contrasts, blending modern skyscrapers with traditional Ethiopian architecture, vibrant markets, and cultural attractions like the National Museum.

Maputo, Mozambique: Maputo is a coastal gem with a laid-back atmosphere, colonial-era architecture, vibrant markets, and stunning ocean views along its scenic waterfront.

Stone Town, Zanzibar: Stone Town is the historic heart of Zanzibar, known for its narrow streets, ornate doors, and rich Swahili culture, offering a glimpse into the island's past.

Gaborone, Botswana: Gaborone is a modern city surrounded by natural beauty, offering visitors botanical gardens, wildlife reserves, and a thriving arts and crafts scene.

Abuja, Nigeria: Abuja is Nigeria's modern capital city, known for its impressive architecture, lush greenery, and cultural landmarks like the Nigerian National Mosque and Aso Rock.

Top 15 Best Places To Visit Tokyo Japan | Tourists Attraction

Top 10 Best Places To Live In UK [ United Kingdom] 2024

Top 10 Best Places To Live In Canada 2024 | Best Cities

Top 10 Best Places to Live in America [ USA Cities ] 2024

How To Make Money : Top 10 Niches To Monetize YouTube

Hillbrow Johannesburg The Vibrant Area Of South Africa

Dubai Downtown Walking Tour 2023 | Burj Khalifa UAE

Dubai Beach: Walking Around | The Best Tour 2023

Ethiopian Airlines Flying Queue At Addis Ababa Airport

#cities #canada #africa #south africa #usa #uk #cape town #Youtube

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kiruthikablogs · 3 months

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Best travel destinations to visit 2024

Top best places to must to travel :

Bhutan: Land of Happiness: Nestled amidst the majestic Himalayas, Bhutan beckons with its enchanting landscapes and vibrant cultural heritage. As one of the world's happiest countries, Bhutan offers travelers a unique opportunity to immerse themselves in the tranquility of Buddhist monasteries, hike through pristine mountain trails, and witness traditional festivals that celebrate the rich tapestry of Bhutanese culture.

Croatia Adriatic Gem: With its azure waters, picturesque islands, and charming medieval towns, Croatia continues to captivate travelers seeking a Mediterranean escape. From the historic city of Dubrovnik, known as the "Pearl of the Adriatic," to the idyllic islands of Hvar and Korčula, Croatia offers a perfect blend of history, culture, and natural beauty.

Japan: Land of Contrasts: From the bustling streets of Tokyo to the serene temples of Kyoto, Japan is a land of captivating contrasts. In 2024, travelers can discover the country's rich cultural heritage, sample delicious cuisine, and marvel at the beauty of cherry blossoms in bloom. With the upcoming Tokyo Olympics, Japan promises to be a vibrant destination filled with excitement and cultural festivities.

Peru: Land of the Incas: Home to ancient ruins, breathtaking landscapes, and vibrant indigenous cultures, Peru offers travelers a journey through history unlike any other. Explore the iconic Machu Picchu, trek through the Sacred Valley, and savor the flavors of Peruvian cuisine in Lima, known as the gastronomic capital of South America.

Iceland: Land of Fire and Ice: Renowned for its otherworldly landscapes, Iceland is a paradise for nature lovers and adventure seekers alike. From the dramatic waterfalls of Gullfoss and Skógafoss to the steaming geothermal springs of the Blue Lagoon, Iceland's raw beauty never fails to mesmerize visitors. In 2024, travelers can also witness the awe-inspiring spectacle of the Northern Lights dancing across the Arctic sky.

Australia: Land Down Under: From the sun-kissed beaches of the Gold Coast to the rugged beauty of the Outback, Australia offers endless opportunities for exploration and adventure. Discover the vibrant city of Sydney, snorkel the Great Barrier Reef, and embark on an unforgettable road trip along the scenic Great Ocean Road.

Portugal European Gem: With its charming cities, picturesque coastline, and rich cultural heritage, Portugal is a hidden gem waiting to be discovered. Explore the historic streets of Lisbon, wander through the vineyards of the Douro Valley, and relax on the sun-drenched beaches of the Algarve. In 2024, Portugal's warm hospitality and laid-back charm await travelers seeking an authentic European experience.

Morocco: Gateway to Africa: Immerse yourself in the exotic sights, sounds, and flavors of Morocco, where ancient traditions blend seamlessly with modern influences. Explore the bustling souks of Marrakech, wander through the labyrinthine streets of Fez, and embark on a desert adventure to the Sahara dunes. With its vibrant culture and diverse landscapes, Morocco offers a truly immersive travel experience.

New Zealand: Land of Adventure: From rugged mountains to pristine beaches, New Zealand is a playground for outdoor enthusiasts and adrenaline junkies. Discover the breathtaking landscapes of Fiordland National Park, hike the legendary Milford Track, and experience the thrill of bungee jumping in Queenstown, the adventure capital of the world.

Greece: Cradle of Civilization: Step back in time and explore the ancient wonders of Greece, where mythology comes to life amidst stunning archaeological sites and sun-drenched islands. Discover the iconic Acropolis in Athens, sail the crystal-clear waters of the Aegean Sea, and indulge in delectable Greek cuisine overlooking the Mediterranean sunset.

In conclusion, the year 2024 promises a wealth of exciting travel opportunities for adventurers of all kinds. Whether you're drawn to the cultural heritage of ancient civilizations, the natural beauty of remote landscapes, or the vibrant energy of bustling cities, these ten destinations offer something for every traveler seeking to make unforgettable memories and embark on a journey of discovery.

#travel #travel blog #traveling #2024 travel #beautiful place

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mchiti · 11 months

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a few things:

thank you for the reassurance and perspective on the support hakim gets in morocco 😭 it made me happy and also it makes me happy to see him having a great time there right now

did you notice how the bulk of the players saudi have gone after are muslim...i don't know if i'm reading too much into this but i suspect that they are targeting these players and trying to shill the "we're a muslim country don't you want to play in a muslim country and help develop it blah blah" thing. Which, if true, makes me very annoyed because a lot of the things they do are very unislamic lol. like spending the first ten days of dhul-hijjah (literally the most sacred days in the entire year) doing shady deals with the shadiest club in the premier league

that racist white girl in footyblr who made the sabiri/ghazali post a while ago made another post basically saying that hell isn't hot enough for the players going to play in saudi because they are funding the yemeni war and famine 💀💀 i wish white people would stick to talking about what they understand

hii anon!! Ohh really, no need to thank me. ♡♡ You can't imagine after world cup 2018, I was in Fez/Tanja (Tangier) and then we went down to our usual trips as usual (Marrakech, Casa etc) and all I could see was his shirt everywhere. And my cousins were telling me all the time of the amount of craziness around him growing even more and more (also 2018 was our first world cup in 20 years can you imagine loool. And he played a big part in that qualification. Now we're here but look what we were even 5 years ago...and what we were when he joined back then...yeah anyway). Like, look at him now when Morocco train, he's always subjected to a lot of media attention etc. Moroccans love him, don't worry about a few of them on twitter. YEAH I love to see him there. I always think how he didn't get to go until he was in his teen years which is so so so sad, a lot of maghrebis can't afford trips to visit more often and it's heartbreaking.) ... to see him in Morocco is. Special. ♡♡ To see so many of them home!!!! Either Marrakech or around in their places of origin, I was watching Sabiri's latest ig stories and mashallah. It makes me so emotional. As if they kinda decided to be there at the same time. 😭I miss it so much i can't wait to be back inchallah.

I'll put the rest under shortcut

yeah the narrative of muslim players x a muslim country it does seem to me like being part of a developing plan. At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if Saudi will truly be competitive in a few years time, now we're joking about it but - it seems way different than MLS now or what China tried to do years ago. You know, I do have conflicting thoughts about it- bc on one hand I agree with you, it is upsetting given the high percentage of poverty in Saudi. A country with so much money and so much power in the hands of a few oligarchs... of course leaning on those players' religion seems like a big fallacy. But then again, you have the same oligarchs in the US, in England, in China, in Russia (and nobody gave a shit about it before the war) in the very heart of Europe... also billionaires, rich, powerful, investors in every major top league. And so you do wonder if somehow we're also being affected by the same double standards. When Arab people tell you: after everything Europe has done, it's our turn, why are we the only ones subjected to your moral standards? - When you put it that way, can you blame them? As a Muslim you get upset because again, I totally understand your feelings and they are also mine. But I also wonder about these stuff, you know

WHICH WELL I guess it also applies to this white girl on tumblr (not kidding I tried to find their blog bc I was so curious fodjsha) are we have to blame players for going Saudi? What about players who are paid by Saudis in Europe? Bohely's bought part of Strasbourg - what about players payed by americans in Europe? Arsenal is owned by an american who both financed trump and israel - are we have to blame arsenal players too? These double standards are just....unreal to me really. It's so easy to blame one part of the world and dismiss what happens in the heart of your own continent or your own part of the world. White privilege as its finest.

Players ain't to blame. You can question their decisions and whatever but they are just players in this system - lots of them grew up poor and weren't born into the massive privilege these multi billionaires were born into. And i'm sure they are gonna love putting all the blame to Muslim players for going Saudi - what can you do, shit white people do.

thank u for writing to me anon! sorry for the long reply ghgh

#asks

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adelko55 · 6 months

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Bucket List Travel: The Top 50 Places In The World

According to a new survey, Bali is the top bucket list destination in the world.Getty

The website surveyed its 1.5 million-strong social audience in order to determine the best bucket list places around the world. According to Sarah Clayton-Lea, head of content with Big 7 Travel, this is the first time the site has assembled this list. "Bucket list travel was a trend that popped up again and again in previous surveys when asking our readers what sort of travel content they most enjoyed consuming," says Clayton-Lea. "So, our curiosity got the better of us and we wanted to know which destinations people are dreaming of for 2019/2020."

READ MORE: "Why You Should Skip Iceland And Go To These 9 Under-the-Radar Places"

The results of the world’s top 50 bucket list destinations include some of the most beautiful places on earth. "White sandy beaches are still a must-visit for many, with vibrant cities also making an appearance on a lot of people’s bucket lists," says Clayton-Lea. Countries with naturally beautiful scenery and world-famous landmarks came out on top: 22% of the destinations on the list have white sandy beaches, while 52% are iconic cities.

The famously colorful Bo Kaap neighborhood in Cape Town, South Africa.Getty

In the study, Big 7 Travel found that people were also more likely to add a destination to their list if they had seen it on social media, and 33% of people research vacation destinations on their Instagram feed. "With over one-third of our readers saying they look to Instagram for travel inspiration, it makes sense that cities with colorful neighborhoods (such as Cape Town’s Bo Kaap) made the cut," says Clayton-Lea.

Bali topped the list of the 50 most popular bucket list destination on earth, but there were also some unexpected picks. "The top 10 list has a lot of the expected dream destinations, but there are a few surprises on the list: Paro Valley in Bhutan, for example, or Virunga National Park in the Congo," says Clayton-Lea. "I think this shows a great appetite for a need to get off the grid and can only assume that social media (and Netflix, in the case of Virunga!) is responsible for spreading the word of these amazing places."

An interesting factoid uncovered in the study: Most people have an average bucket list of just 11 places, with the hope of visiting seven of those locations during their lifetime. Read on for the top 50 bucket list destinations in the world and what Big 7 Travel had to say about each one.

Overlooking the jungle on one of Bali's highly Instagrammed swings.Getty

1. Bali, Indonesia: "You’ll find beaches, volcanoes, Komodo dragons and jungles sheltering elephants, orangutans and tigers. Basically, it’s paradise. It’s likely you’ve seen an image of Bali on social media at least once in the past seven days, as it’s such a popular bucket list destination for 2019."

2. New Orleans: "The lively city known for its street music, festive vibe and a melting pot of French, African and American cultures is well worth the trip. NOLA is a city packed with adventures at every turn and should be on everyone’s must-visit list."

3. Kerry, Ireland:" All the way west in Ireland is one of the country’s most scenic counties. Kerry’s mountains, lakes and coasts are postcard-perfect, and that’s before you add in Killarney National Park. The unique small towns such as Dingle add to its charm."

El Badi Palace in the Marrakesh medina.Getty

4. Marrakesh, Morocco: "This ancient walled city is home to mosques, palaces and lush gardens. It’s known as The Red City thanks to the color of the brick walls surrounding the city. The medina is a UNESCO World Heritage Centre."

5. Sydney: "Sydney is known around the world as one of the greatest and most iconic cities on the planet. Amazing things to do aren’t hard to find; the city has gorgeous beaches, great cafes and world-class entertainment on offer wherever you look."

6. The Maldives: "This tropical nation in the Indian Ocean is made up of more than 1,000 coral islands. It’s home to some of the world’s most luxurious hotel resorts, with white sandy beaches, underwater villas and restaurants and bright blue waters."

7. Paris, France: "One of the most iconic cities in the world, Paris tops many people’s bucket lists. You’ll see so many famous landmarks here: the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame cathedral—the list is never-ending."

8. Cape Town, South Africa: "Cape Town is a dream location to visit: endless natural beauty and clifftop views, pastel pink neighborhoods and turquoise waters."

9. Dubai, U.A.E.: "The high-flying city of the U.A.E, Dubai is one of the most glamorous destinations you’ll ever visit, and is particularly popular with Big 7 Travel readers."

Sunset In Bora Bora, French Polynesia.Getty

10. Bora Bora, French Polynesia: "Bora Bora is Tahiti's most famous island. How do overwater bungalows and underwater adventures sound to you? To us, it’s everything we could want from a bucket list destination."

11. New York: "New York is one of America’s most exciting states. With charming upstate scenery, world-class cuisine and culture and more things to do than you could fit in one lifetime. The city’s five boroughs all have special features; it’s almost impossible to narrow it down"

12. Dubrovnik, Croatia: "As George Bernard Shaw once said, 'Those who seek paradise on Earth should come to Dubrovnik.' With its winding streets, cliffside beach bars and UNESCO World Heritage Site of the Old Town, it’s no wonder Dubrovnik is such a popular spot."

Carlton hill in Edinburgh, Scotland.Getty

13. Edinburgh, Scotland: "With the historic Edinburgh castle looming over the city, culture in spades and wonderfully friendly locals, this is one of the world’s greatest city breaks."

14. Rome, Italy: "Whether it’s your first time in Rome or your 50th, the best thing about this city is that you’ll always discover something new each time you stroll the scenic streets."

15. Paro Valley, Bhutan: Paro Valley is known for its monasteries, fortresses (or dzongs) and dramatic landscapes. Tucked between China and India, Bhutan is a mysterious country that prides itself on sustainable tourism. You’ll find Paro Taktsang here, a Himalayan Buddhist sacred site."

At the Jal Mahal Palace at sunset in Jaipur, India.Getty

16. Jaipur, India: "Jaipur is known as the ‘Pink City’ for its pale terracotta buildings. This was originally done to impress the visiting Prince Albert during his 1876 tour of India by order of the Maharaja (Sawai Ram Singh). Even today, it’s illegal to paint buildings any other color."

17. Waikato, New Zealand: "Waikato, a region in New Zealand’s North Island, is home to massive underground caves, lush rainforest and the buzzy city of Hamilton. But the area’s main attraction? A Middle-earth adventure on the film set of Lord of the Rings. Hobbiton Movie Set still has the original Hobbit holes from the making of the films."

18. Havana, Cuba: "Cuba’s capital is almost 500 years old and a riot of color. Brightly painted buildings and vintage cars make Havana a photogenic dream."

A view of Tokyo Skytree and the city skyline from the Tobu Levant Hotel.Photo courtesy of Jonathan Bloom

19. Tokyo, Japan: "Visiting Tokyo is like visiting the future—flashing neon lights, incredible technology—yet there’s still a rich sense of culture and history."

20. Antarctica: "Earth’s southernmost continent, Antarctica is a once-in-a-lifetime destination. Nowhere else can compare with the extreme remoteness of this snowy place. It’s not an easy trip to make, but you’ll be rewarded with breathtaking views of the white wilderness, icy sea kayaking and whale sightings."

21. Vancouver, Canada: "Vancouver is surrounded by water yet close to the mountains and has world-class art, restaurants and heaps of other attractions to keep you entertained."

22. Los Angeles: "In a city with year-round sunshine, glam bars, beaches and hikes, there are endless incredible experiences to enjoy in Los Angeles. It’s no wonder there are almost 5O million ‘LA’ hashtags on Insta."

In Kruger National Park, South Africa.Getty

23. Kruger National Park, South Africa: "The Kruger National Park is a vast space in northeastern South Africa that is home to a huge array of wildlife. The park has safari experiences of all kinds, allowing you the opportunity to escape busy city living and get back to nature."

24. Santorini, Greece: "Santorini is actually a group of islands; Thíra, Thirassiá, Asproníssi, Palea and Nea Kaméni. Beaches with volcanic black or red sand and clear blue waters make this an ideal holiday spot. With its famous Santorini sunsets, it’s no wonder that it’s one of the most popular bucket list destinations."

25. Moscow, Russia: "Russia’s cosmopolitan capital, Moscow is a beautiful destination to visit in any season. Colorful domes and bell chimes ring out from over 600 churches in the city, and the sense of history is immense. Culture lovers will be impressed with the museums and ballet."

26. Singapore: "Singapore is a small island city-state off southern Malaysia which punches way above its weight on a global level. It’s a modern city with colorful buildings, futuristic bridges and a cloud forest."

London's Westminster Bridge.Getty

27. London, England: "Pretty pink restaurants, futuristic space-age toilets and jungle skyline views are just some of our favorite things about London. And of course, all the classics: Big Ben, red phone boxes and world-class museums and galleries."

28. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: "Rio de Janeiro has always been one of the most iconic cities in the world with instantly recognizable landscapes and landmarks."

29. Petra, Jordan: "The ancient Nabatean city of Petra in southern Jordan is surrounded by beautiful red rocks and steep gorges. The world wonder is without a doubt Jordan’s most valuable treasure and greatest tourist attraction."

30. Hong Kong: "Famous for its skylines and vibrant food scene, what most people don’t know is that 70% of Hong Kong is mountains and lush parks. Colorful playgrounds and sci-fi apartment blocks give HK an enviable edge."

Beach and sea waves shot from above in Barbados.Getty

31. Barbados: "Barbados is one of those magical holiday destinations that everybody dreams about visiting. Who wouldn’t put this on their bucket list? Nestled in the south of the Caribbean, it offers stunning beauty and wonderful local culture and is the perfect place to unwind."

32. Amsterdam: "Forget about cliched images of smoke shops and gaudy red lights. From floating flower markets to bohemian neighborhoods, this city has it all."

33. Santiago, Chile: "Santiago is a cosmopolitan city with the very best of Chilean culture; art galleries, design shops and handicraft markets, as well as lively Latino nightlife. You’ll stroll through historic neighborhoods with pretty winding streets and charming bars and cafes."

34. Cairo, Egypt: "Cairo is one of the most ancient cities in the world. Sitting on the Nile river with wonderful museums, vibrant culture and friendly locals, it makes for a great holiday."

Biking in Copenhagen.Getty

35. Copenhagen, Denmark: "Copenhagen’s rustic fishing ports, modern graffiti and winding red brick streets are just some of what makes it such a beautiful bucket list destination. It oozes Scandi cool from every corner, with top-notch food, stylish design and an always hip atmosphere."

36. Seoul, Korea: "Seoul is a vibrant metropolis where old-meets-new, with pop culture (K-Pop!) alongside Buddhist temples.

37. Laucala Island Resort, Fiji: "Laucala Island Resort is a private island in Fiji, in absolute paradise. It is one of three small islands off the northeast coast of Taveuni in Fiji. There are coconut trees, a sustainable farm and miles of beach, as well as coral reefs, postcard-perfect beaches and lush rainforest."

38. Providencia, Colombia: "The Colombian island of Providencia is the perfect combination of South America and the Caribbean. It’s best known for Crab Cay: an unspoiled little island where all there is to do is snorkel and lie on the beach."

Photographing Machu Picchu, Peru.Getty

39. Machu Picchu, Peru: "The best way to get here? Arrive at Machu Picchu in style on the 360° Train that will bring you through the Peruvian countryside to the lost city. The wide, panoramic windows are perfect for soaking up the view, plus they serve Pisco Sours on board."

40. Virunga National Park, Democratic Republic of Congo: "Virunga National Park is one of the most biologically diverse areas on the planet and home to the world’s critically endangered mountain gorillas. It’s full of lush rainforest and has received even more attention since the documentary Virunga."

41. Lisbon, Portugal: "Lisbon, the hilly capital of Portugal, is postcard-perfect with its cobbled streets, pristine waters and local Atlantic beaches."

42. Hanoi, Vietnam: "Hanoi—the capital of Vietnam—is known for its rich history, busy street life and centuries of French, Asian and Chinese influences all blended into one bustling city. It’s a wonderful base from which to explore the North of Vietnam, including Halong Bay and Sapa, while also enjoying the comforts of a modern vibrant city."

A view of Honolulu's Magic Island And Waikiki Beach.Getty

43. Hawaii: "From the hustle and bustle of Oahu to the romance of Maui and off-the-beaten-path adventures on Lanai and Molokai. The Hawaiian Islands are pure paradise. Explore colorful canyons and waterfalls and eat your body weight in fresh poke."

44. Ibiza, Spain: "While you’ll have your fair share of techno club experiences, Ibiza is also one of the most beautiful Spanish islands, with a pretty Old Town and scenic beaches. Spend the day on the beach and the nights in legendary clubs."

45. Beijing, China: "Beijing is China’s political, economic, and cultural center, with six Unesco World Heritage Sites in this city alone. Discover Forbidden City, street food dishes of Peking duck and of course, the Great Wall of China."

46. Budapest, Hungary: "The capital city of Hungary, Budapest is a fairytale city in Eastern Europe. The city itself is separated by the 19th-century Chain Bridge that connects the hilly Buda district with flat Pest—hence the name Budapest."

Photographing Vernazza in Cinque Terre.Getty

47. Cinque Terre, Italy: "Is there anything prettier than this area of centuries-old seaside villages on the rugged Italian Riviera coastline? The five towns (Manarola, Riomaggiore, Corniglia, Vernazza and Monterosso al Mare) are made for bucket lists."

48. Buenos Aires, Argentina: "Bookstores set in palatial theatres, tango dancing in the streets and brightly painted neighborhoods. These are just some of what makes Buenos Aires so beautiful."

49. Las Vegas: "With the bright lights, party atmosphere and endless things to see and do, it’s no wonder that Las Vegas has become a glittering global tourism destination. Take a chance in the casinos until the early hours or see world-class entertainment."

50: Matterhorn, Switzerland: "The Matterhorn is one of the world’s most iconic peaks—the pyramid-shaped mountain, which is very difficult to climb, is said to be the most-photographed mountain in the world."

READ MORE:• "Ranked: The 20 Most Dangerous Places to Live"• "Bucket List Travel: The Top 50 Places In The World"• "Why You Should Skip Iceland And Go To These 9 Under-the-Radar Places"• "23 Surprising Things That Will Get You In Trouble In Italy"

• "Bucket List Travel: Top 10 Places In The World And Top 29 In The U.S."

#ADELKO55 #HAGSHEY999 #classic car #nature #motorcycle #cars #fast cars #TRAVLES

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prolix-yuy · 6 months

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Getting to Know Me Tag Game

Thanks to @musings-of-a-rose for tagging me!

Top Three Ships: 10th Doctor x Rose (my OGs), Loki x Darcy (a very strange exploration but I really enjoyed it), Sherlock x Molly (I know!)

Favorite color: Daffodil yellow, royal blue, dusty rose

Last song: Ceilings by Lizzie McAlpine

Last Book: The Society of Shame for book club, and Billy Summers by Stephen King is on loan from a coworker, so I've been meaning to start that.

Currently Watching: I've been sick for most of this week, so I chewed through Loki S2 (LOVED it, still crying) and a season of Dimension 20 (The Ravening War). Now I'm starting Fall of the House of Usher and as a big Poe fan, I am LOVING it so far.

Current Obsession: Trying my hand at bullet journaling because I've been in a productivity rut lately and want to see if it helps motivate me. Though all I've done so far is watch videos of people talking about how to bullet journal, so not much started on that front.

Currently working on: So many things!

Fic related: A BEEFY next installment of I Think of You, Dieter and Murch's first date, the next SW!Frankie ask (which starts a new mini-arc with them, which I'm excited for), prepping for a couple of challenge fics, and deciding if one of my oneshot WIPs may come onto the schedule after that.

Non-fic related: prepping for Thanksgiving, new holiday decor for my place, Christmas shopping and my favorite part - wrapping gifts!

Country I want to visit: I'd love to see Morocco, New Zealand, Japan, and Montreal!

I think this made the rounds recently, so anyone who hasn't played that wants to, jump on in!

#dash games #I finally have brain cells again!#huzzah!

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thousand-winters · 11 months

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Children of dust and ashes

Trying to do this like I've seen done in this fandom, cof.

Oh, also @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone

Read on AO3!

Relationships: Cordelia Carstairs & Alastair Carstairs, implied Thomastair (in this one, at least)

Chapter 1: We were angels once

Cordelia doesn’t think feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders is a normal reaction to moving places. In fact, she knows it’s not, as the feeling of detachment and exhaustion that accompanies it is one she has come to associate with the strange dreams she’s been having since she was 14.

The dreams are insistent, haunting her days as much as they do her nights. It’s strange. She has never thought of herself as someone who chases riches, and yet one of the only things she can recall after waking up, no matter how tightly she holds on to the dreams, is the shimmering color of gold.

The glimmer of a blade. The twinkle of an eye. The brush of golden strands.

Gold, gold, gold.

On the intimacy of her room, on the loneliest nights where she’s only accompanied by the stars outside her window, she thinks she must be destined for something bigger than herself, although the elation she feels at the idea sits within her chest in an uncomfortable way, as if it didn’t fit, as if it were more of a burden than the gift her young mind conceives.

Still. Destiny is destiny, she thinks, and so every time they travel to a new country, she declares it an opportunity to seek adventure, hoping that one day the golden glimpses of reverie become something tangible and real, something she can look at and say ‘there you are, I caught you’.

So she grabs onto her brother’s arm, claiming that he can’t stay holed up in his room, not this time –in spite of the fact that she drags him with her every single time, and he’s big on the habit of taking walks, no matter if they’re in a city new with promise or old with unwanted familiarity

Alastair always rolls his eyes and makes a show of dragging his feet, but he would always comply with her wishes in the end.

Sometimes she has the weird sensation that she already recognizes the places they visit.

Dejá vù, Alastair says simply when she confesses, and she frowns with the petulance only little sisters can reach, or so he claims anyway. Because each time, she can almost swear that there is recognition sparkling in his dark eyes as well, but where she stubbornly chases her dreams, her brother seems to use that determination to put another brick in the wall that separates them.

She can hold his hand through it, but there’s a fear deep inside of her that one day the wall will be so tall that she won’t be able to see him.

The bubbling nerves in her chest as they arrive in Idris do nothing for her hidden worries to subside.

On top of her unusual weariness, she feels certain anticipation; her mind is telling her something important is going to happen soon, and by this point she knows better than to dismiss the feeling as nothing. Which perhaps should be odd, maybe because her gut feeling has never led her to anything big.

That statement feels wrong in her head.

As they sit at the table of their new house to take breakfast, Cordelia wonders what kind of surprises will come in this new place they’re living in. She truly hopes they can stay for longer than a few months this time, although she isn’t sure of why; Idris is beautiful, but hadn’t Bombay been too? Morocco? What makes this so different? She doesn’t have answers, she just knows that it is.

Her dad isn’t there, probably oversleeping due to the exhaustion of the travel; she knows he was still awake when she went to bed, after all her mâmân always leaves the light in her bedroom on to wait for him. Speaking of her, she looks pensive this morning, drinking slowly from her tea without saying her usual drill about making the best of what they have while it lasts. Alastair isn’t even pretending to have breakfast, and she surmises that he must have similar thoughts to her in mind as he gently caresses the compass tattoo on his forearm, no matter how much he may deny it.

She has noticed that every time he gets in this melancholic sort of daze, he’s always touching his tattoo. She has asked him a million times why did he choose a compass and a rose of all things, when she knows him to be particularly fond of collection daggers instead, but frustratingly, he always shrugs and says it seemed like the right thing to do.

“Right to whom?” She grumbles under her breath, earning herself a glare without any real heat in it.

“What are you mumbling to yourself all of a sudden, Katāyoun?” He asks in exasperation, pointing a spoon at her.

Ready to fall into the familiarity of sibling bickering, Cordelia finds herself almost smiling, but as she opens her mouth to reply, there’s a bang on the front door followed by the sound of glass breaking and she startles so much she almost spills her own tea all over the table’s mantle. Alastair doesn’t fare much better, his spoon clattering against his cup so harshly that Sona flinches.

But when the woman turns to look at her son, she doesn’t look scolding, just sad.

“Alastair Joon,” Sona says softly, and Cordelia’s confused at the sorrow in her voice. The tension in her chest bubbles, and she knows somehow that her anticipation is about to have a payoff.

She’s suddenly scared about what that means.

“Stay,” Alastair says seriously, and naturally, as soon as he’s out of the door, she’s getting up from her chair to follow him.

“Cordelia, dear, why don’t we give him a minute?” Her mother asks without any conviction. She’s not hoping she can truly stop her, she realizes.

“You know I can’t do that,” She says. It’s too heavy of a statement for innocent curiosity, but she means it. She doesn’t know why she does and she’s tired of not knowing. Following will let her know, she’s certain of this.

“I know,” Sona’s smile is sad, her fingers cupping her mug so tight that her skin is looking fraught. “You’ll be alright, Layla.”

Parental approval acquired, Cordelia barely stops to wonder about the strange nickname –it feels right somehow–, choosing to hurry to the hallway and the entrance of the house, almost tripping over her own boots on her hastiness.

She almost wishes she hadn’t when she takes in the view in front of her.

Elias Carstairs is lying on the floor, seemingly having passed out immediately after slamming the door of their new house open. This normally would have her frantically going to his side and measuring his pulse, but there’s a trail of drool coming out of his mouth and a broken bottle at his side.

She’s not naïve enough to not recognize alcohol when she sees it.

Alastair is doubled over him. As Cordelia watches, her brother grabs onto the man’s arm and propping it up against his shoulder to get him to stand up a little. Her father groans slightly, but doesn’t wake up, too drowned in what he must have drunk of the discarded bottle to care.

Drunk, he’s drunk, she realizes, and while the thought sends a painful pang to her heart, she almost feels resigned.

“Esfāndiyar?” Her voice is thin and frail, the right name on the wrong lips. Or the wrong name? No. It is her brother. But she never calls him that. Except because that’s not right, she has called him that with affection since they were children.

Not before though

The thought is fleeting, but it leaves her unsure of what to do, unable to even fidget with the bracelets on her wrist as her brother manages to look at the same time as if he hadn’t expected her to disobey his petition and as if there had never been another choice.

“Just… let me get him upstairs,” Alastair asks, sounding so exhausted that one would think it’s midnight instead of 8 a.m.

She nods numbly.

As both disappear upstairs, presumably to go into her parents’ bedroom and leave Elias there, Cordelia’s head is spinning with unwanted images.

Her father causing a ruckus at a ceremony. A nude hand that should have been shielded by black ink. A specter seeking forgiveness from beyond death.

She feels sick.

By the time Alastair comes downstairs, she’s high-strung and irritated, ready to lash out in the only manner a wounded animal could.

It’s a good thing that Cordelia Carstairs has been cornered many times in her life.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” She demands, feeling anger and sadness bubbling inside of her. Alastair hesitates, looking surprised at her outburst and Cordelia wants to shake him. Didn’t he think she would care?

“Because I never wanted you to know,” He sounds defeated, perhaps because he can tell that to continue lying to her is a pointless endeavor. The thought should make her pleased, knowing that he recognizes that there’s no force on Earth that can keep her from finding out the truth, not when her family is involved, but instead she feels like she’s underwater, a flash of spectral hands appearing before her eyes while a strange thought takes over her mind. It wasn’t supposed to be like this this time. “Because I wanted you to have a childhood, a thing I never had.”

As soon as the last word leaves Alastair’s tongue, they both freeze. Her brother’s breath hitches in his throat, but he doesn’t move, not even to look at her. Cordelia finds that she can’t move either. There’s something about this moment that feels as if they were puppets whose strings had been loose until this very moment and have been now grabbed tightly, or perhaps actors over a stage, dancing, dancing, dancing with the glimmer of gold in front of her under a captivated audience.

She shakes her head, just as Alastair opens his mouth again, his words sounding pained, but hurried in a way that almost feels practiced.

“I wanted you to be able to love and respect your father as I never could. Every… every time he made a mess who do you think had to clean it up? Who told you Father… Father was ill or sleeping when he was drunk?” He sounds confused as he speaks, but it’s not the kind of sentiment born out of a lack of veracity. Somehow she knows these words ring as true as they always have. Somehow she knows all of this. “Who went out and…? Who…? Layla…”

Cordelia looks at the brother she has lived and grown up with all her life and for a moment she doesn’t recognize him; she sees dyed blond strands pulled back, a black tattoo flashing on his neck, and she’s oddly certain that there’s a spear hidden inside of his jacket. She looks at her own hands, somehow expecting to see a golden blade there. Her heart lurches painfully when she sees nothing but empty palms.

When she looks up, her brother’s hair is black again.

“Lay- Cordelia?” His voice is steady, but he’s avoiding her eyes, looking instead to the side at the wall. No, not the wall, the door.

“Dâdâsh…”

Alastair recovers miraculously fast, clearing his throat and straightening his back, his face returning to a neutral look as if what just happened

“Did you need anything else?” He turns as if he’s already planning to leave. He seems ready to play this off as if nothing happened and Cordelia gapes at him, feeling furious all over again.

No, you don’t get to shut me out, not this time.

“Alastair.”

He stops, but he’s still not looking at her.

“Cordelia.”

“Don’t ‘Cordelia’ me. What was that?”

“I have no idea what are you talking about.”

“Yes, you do,” She accuses him.

“Well, then why don’t you illuminate me, Layla?” He turns with such ferocity that for a moment she’s tempted to take a step back. But this is Alastair, her Alastair, her big brother that had been looking after her before she was even born into this world, the same Alastair that always protects her.

Into this world.

And that’s the crux of the matter in the end, isn’t it?

“Why didn’t you tell me this time?” She asks softly, and her brother’s shoulders deflate.

“I told you, I-“

“No, you knew I never wanted this for you. Why torture yourself a second time?”

He hesitates.

“This time you actually had the chance to be free,” He croaks out.

“No, not like this,” She steps carefully over the broken glass and the puddle of alcohol over wooden floors before grabbing Alastair’s face with both of her hands. “Never at the cost of your happiness.”

He takes a shuddering breath.

“Mâmân helped.”

“I could have helped too.”

“You were just a child.”

“So were you.”

“I didn’t… keep this from you on purpose,” Alastair takes a deep breath and raises his hands to cover hers gently, looking at her with a mixture of affection and sadness so strong that it makes her want to cry. “I only know remembered that we…”

“… Have gone through this before?”

There are no better words to explain, and so he simply nods, closing his eyes and letting himself fall back onto the comfort of a sister that became a protector, that shouldn’t have been but that’s always willing to become one for him, for all of her loved ones.

Speaking of…

“We should find them,” She says.

“Who?”

“Playing dumb doesn’t suit you, Alastair.”

“And playing coy doesn’t suit you.”

They’re smiling at each other.

She takes a step back, but instead of releasing him completely, she extends a hand that he grabs easily. The wall has fallen back down again and her heart sings. She didn’t want a tragedy to bring it down to pieces this time, and that much has at least been avoided.

“Do you think they remember?” He asks, his tone uncharacteristically shy, and she notices with little surprise that he’s staring at the tattoo on his forearm.

“Well,” She starts slowly. Her blood is once again calling for adventure, and this time, she knows, they’re ready to take the call. “we should find out, shouldn’t we?”

#cordelia carstairs #alastair carstairs #sona carstairs #elias carstairs #some implied thomastair #the last hours #tlh #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #reincarnation au #my writing

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