#trying to live life in peace | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

greenglowinspooks · 6 months

Text

(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 4)

—

Tw: descriptions of body horror, Dr. Crane has PTSD and Does Not Realize, Crane has an actual panic attack and just doesn’t care, the Riddler makes one (1) sex joke about Batman

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Pt. 1 here) (Prev here) - (Pt. 5 here)

(Masterlist here)

—

Dr. Jonathan Crane is in his lab, the acrid scent of chemicals filling the air, and his hands are shaking.

Danny’s health, for the first week that he had him, had been steadily improving at an extremely quick rate. However, his healing had begun to stagnate. Danny said that it was because his body had run out of ectoplasm, and that while there was a lot of ambient ectoplasm in Gotham, he needed a stronger type in order to heal.

And so, that led Dr. Crane here.

He had stolen the research notes from the Penguin years ago regarding his experimentation on him.

(He quite vividly remembers the sound of bone creaking and groaning as it twisted, lengthened. The squelching of shifting tendons and muscles, the strange fabric-like tightening of skin. The feeling of going from man to monster, of losing all claim to his humanity.)

Danny had called him Liminal, part ghost. He had said that he was transformed by, among other things, a kind of synthetic ectoplasm.

Danny needed ectoplasm.

Crane had the research notes. He had every ingredient necessary. And yet, attempt after attempt failed.

The chemical smell burns his nose. His hands tremble.

Dr. Crane is not afraid.

He doesn’t feel fear anymore. He’s tried to, many, many times, but nothing has worked. And yet, his hands are shaking still.

(The horrifying sensation of vertebrae pop-pop-popping along his spine, growing and lengthening. The unbearable itching beneath his skin as toxin glands begin to form. The feeling of his teeth sharpening and elongating, of his skull growing, of his vision changing and brightening. The awful stench of chemicals. The awful stench of ectoplasm.)

Jonathan takes careful note of his shaking hands, his blurring vision, his accelerated heart-rate and shallow breathing.

(Human hands. Human vision. Human heart and lungs and organs.)

He takes note of them, but he does not let that distract him from the task at hand. Danny is not a chemist, but Jonathan is.

The boy knows enough about chemistry in theory, but he won’t go anywhere near Crane’s equipment. He seems to have some sort of intense fear of laboratory settings, probably developed during his stay with the GiW, and Crane is willing to respect that, if only because he cannot afford to lose him.

As such, Crane is the only one qualified to do this. And, unfortunately, if he isn’t successful the boy may very well die.

He heats the chemicals to precisely the right temperatures, adding each one to its correct container.

Dr. Crane thinks of the Scarebeast, that creature born of cruelty and greed and a sense of superiority. That creature which he tries to ignore is a part of him, that can never be removed. A damage which cannot be undone.

He pours the contents of a small beaker into a larger flask, watching the liquids swirl together. The stench in the air is becoming closer and closer to the one burned into his memory.

Crane’s whole body is wracked with unpleasant sensations. It’s truly unfortunate, he thinks, that despite his mind’s lack of fear, his body still reacts so harshly.

Jonathan’s eyes wander, eventually settling on a purple and green card sitting innocently on the corner of the table.

Right.

Even if they wiped out the GiW tomorrow, and even if Danny could survive without ectoplasm, he would still be in danger.

Crane has to get him back to good health. It’s the only way he can be sure that the boy can defend himself properly.

The solution in the flask begins to foam, and Jonathan does not hesitate as he adds the final ingredient. He pours the mixture into a new container, capping it and placing it into a freezer set to -40 degrees.

Hopefully this time he got the timing right.

Jonathan tries to relax, the ventilation in the room slowly but surely clearing the familiar smell from the air.

He thinks of the letter.

Surely, he thinks, that man can come up with some better material for his jokes. Or, at least something new.

Same old threats, same old attempted poisoning.

Aiming his threats at Danny, though, that was new. New and utterly unacceptable.

Scarecrow did what he had to.

He doubted that his solution would last forever, of course, as with that man it never did. As such, he would prepare both himself and Danny for the inevitable moment that his choices came back to bite them.

However, for the moment, they were safe. Danny could rest and recover, and Jonathan could figure out a plan to minimize possible damages.

Jonathan is no longer shaking.

He’s exhausted. This is his fifth attempt today, and each one leaves an unfortunate strain on his mind and body.

With a sigh, he settles himself into his seat at a nearby desk, opening up his computer and logging his most recent attempt. He still has to wait for it to chill to know if it was successful, but he can always update the logs later.

Once he’s done, he stretches, joints popping loudly as he walks to the freezer.

When he sees the results of his tireless work, the ghost of a smile flits across his face.

Success.

Jonathan picks up the jug of ectoplasm and leaves the lab, which is in all actuality the basement of the new apartment that he moved himself and Danny into after receiving the note. The scrappy old woman who was his landlord had told him that as long as he paid her five hundred dollars up front, she would let him set up in the basement without any questions or cop calls.

And so, the most expensive apartment in the Narrows was his.

At least, he thought, the distance between the basement and the apartment was short enough that Danny didn’t have to sit in while he was doing his labwork.

Jonathan knew that he didn’t exactly have a strong grasp on the concept of ‘lab safety,’ proven by his built-up immunity to almost every toxic chemical he’d ever encountered, and he doubted that Danny should be around such an environment.

He was back to the apartment quickly, not bothering to hide the self-satisfied smile on his face. Danny is sitting in his armchair, trying to read one of his books. Danny looks up, ready to greet him, when he sees the jug in his hands and pauses.

“Is that..?”

“Synthetic ectoplasm,” Jonathan says proudly, “I found the Penguin’s research notes and decided to recreate it, since you said that you needed it to heal properly. I’m not sure if it’ll work the same as what you usually have, but I hope it’s helpful all the same.”

Danny is standing, now, and looking at Jonathan with a strange look in his eyes. He looks, Jon thinks, like he’s about to cry.

Then Danny is rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Jonathan, his scrawny form shaking.

Jonathan is, for a moment, horrified. Did he do something wrong somehow? Why is this child, who’s so afraid of touch, hugging him?

And then he hears Danny’s voice, and he knows that it was all worth it.

“Thank you,” he’s mumbling, over and over, “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.”

“Of course,” Jonathan says softly, because what else can he say?

The boy cries in his arms for a while, and Jonathan briefly wonders what his life must have been like before, if a person like him can be seen as a comforting figure.

Then, Danny pours himself a small glass of the synthetic ectoplasm, putting the rest into the small fridge which had come with the apartment, and he settles back down, sitting in the armchair once again.

Jonathan sits opposite of him, and they chat with one another as Danny drinks.

Danny talks to him about the stars and tells him about different spaceships, and Jonathan makes sure to pay attention and ask the boy questions.

He doesn’t miss the way that Danny lights up every time he asks him something about his interests. He’s so passionate, so smart, a trait that he seldom sees outside of his fellow rogues, and Jonathan wants to encourage that.

It’s…nice. Peaceful, almost.

And then the front door flies open, because Jonathan isn’t allowed to have nice things.

“Jon,” a familiar voice rings out, “what the hell?!”

Danny is frozen in place, clearly terrified.

Jonathan heaves a sigh, turning to face the nuisance who’s entered his apartment.

“Eddie,” he drawls, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Edward’s face is red with anger as he invades Jonathan’s apartment.

“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe it’s the fact that you sent a bunch of rogues a cryptic message and then dropped off the face of the earth for two weeks! I was worried, Jon!”

Jonathan hums in acknowledgement.

“I didn’t think it was that cryptic,” he says, picking up a book in order to pointedly ignore the Riddler.

“Oh, of course you didn’t, you straw-stuffed hickory dickory dickhead. I swear, you’re always—” he pauses, finally having noticed Danny sitting opposite of Jonathan, “—who is this?”

“My apprentice,” Jonathan replies, dreading the upcoming headache he was no doubt going to develop from Edward’s company, “he’s helping me hunt down the GiW. His name is Danny.”

Edward gasps dramatically.

“You—an apprentice?! And you’re letting him sit in the old man chair?! You don’t even let me sit in the old man chair,” he wails, draping himself over the headrest of the couch with a flourish, “Jonathan, I thought I knew you!”

“Edward,” Jonathan says, “get out of my apartment.”

“Oh my goodness, this is incredible. You’re becoming the bat!”

“I am not becoming the bat, Eddie, now get out.”

Edward has a shit-eating grin on his face as he waltzes over to Danny. Danny, who seemed terrified when he first appeared, is now looking at him with obvious amusement written all over his face.

“I mean, look at him! The hair, the eyes, the scrappy build. If you put him in one of those traffic light vigilante costumes, he could easily pass as a Robin!”

“I’m not doing this with you today, Eddie.”

“Riddle me this, Jon: I am a treasure hidden inside of a chest. You can break me, or steal me, or give me a rest. I can flutter, or pound, or attack, or drop, but if you don’t have me, you’re certainly fucked. What am I?”

Jonathan pauses for a moment before he groans, dropping his head into his hands.

“Eddie.”

Danny sits still, a confused look on his face as he repeats the riddle silently. Then, his face lights up in delight.

“A heart!”

“Jon, I like this one,” Edward says with a smile, ruffling Danny’s hair, “you are correct! A heart, something that I wasn’t aware that our dear Jonathan had!”

“Eddie, stop.”

“No, no,” Edward says, “I was worried about you, you deserve this. I mean, you even missed girls night! You never miss girls night!”

“Girls night?” Danny asks, absolutely delighted.

“Oh, of course,” Edward says, sprawling over on the couch, dangerously close to just laying in Jonathan’s lap, “we have it once a week. I’m invited because of Selina and Jon’s invited because Harley likes him.”

“And what does girls night entail, exactly?”

“Eddie,” Jonathan groans, “please.”

“Well,” Edward hums, “we usually paint our nails, or watch a movie, or gossip about the other rogues, and occasionally, we tell each other about any ‘encounters’ we have with Batman,” he says, raising his eyebrows up and down.

Danny’s jaw drops.

“Edward, shut up,” Jonathan says, an irritated tone in his voice that wasn’t there before.

“No way,” Danny says, “I thought that Batman, like, hated you guys or something. You mean he actually..?”

“Oh, the Bat is much like a bottle of liquor or a cheap cigarette, in that he was made to be passed around.”

Danny chokes on air.

“Edward Nygma,” Jonathan hisses, getting out of his seat and looming over the man, “get the hell out.”

Edward pales.

“Leaving, leaving!” Edward says, dashing away from Jonathan. He pauses, turning to flash Danny a quick smile.

“Remember Danny, I’m your favorite uncle! Not any of the other rogues, me!”

With that, he leaves, the room falling completely silent.

And, as per usual, that silence does not last.

“You full-named him?” Danny asks gleefully, “and it worked?”

Jonathan just sighs, sitting down on the couch and rubbing at his temples.

“Please, don’t take anything Eddie says seriously. He’s a moron.”

“Dr. Crane, please let me come to girls night with you,” Danny pleads, his eyes sparkling, “I promise I won’t embarrass you.”

Jonathan groans.

“Of course you won’t, Eddie will do it for you.”

“Come on, please?”

“I think we’re a bit busy with the GiW at the moment,” Jonathan snaps. He pauses as he notices the crestfallen expression on Danny’s face.

This boy is going to be the death of him.

“Perhaps, though, when all that is taken care of…”

Danny cheers, grinning wildly, and Jonathan is not at all relieved to see him happy again. Certainly not.

The rest of the day is relatively normal.

Danny works on trying to get information from the GiW database while Crane refines his his fear toxin, both preparing for a raid on the GiW base they located in Gotham.

It was only a temporary base, nothing of note, but there was a chance of discovering more bases through it, and that wasn’t something either of them were willing to give up.

Still, something like this would take time. Rushing would only lead to failure.

…

Late in the night, long after Danny is fast asleep in his room, Jonathan pauses.

The GiW are not the only threat out there. They aren’t the only threat to him or to Danny. Perhaps it could be helpful to reach out to someone with greater resources than himself.

He sends a quick message to Red Hood.

Hopefully, he thinks, everything will go smoothly.

—

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp fic #liminal scarecrow #Jon’s PTSD is triggered by the smell of ectoplasm because his life is a nightmare #HDJFNDNDNFKDJF #I am the master of emotional whiplash #rip Jon just trying to have some peace in this fucking house #never gonna happen king 🫡#oh also Eddie is not lying that bat can manwhore #and like half the rogues in Gotham know this from experience #and also most of the JL #and some of JL dark #btw Eddie and Jon are besties #they’re both awful but they make it work #when Jon full-names Eddie that just means that if he doesn’t stop whatever he’s doing he’s gonna get a dose of fear toxin #Eddie isn’t intimidating enough to full-name anyone so if he gets mad he just bashes whoever in the head with his cane #Jon is the living embodiment of ‘me and my girl don’t argue she bash me in the head with a rock and I walk it off like a man’#also side note I’m not doing any ships in this #because I don’t want to #they are just Like That #if you wanna read it that way though it’s completely fine #also shoutout 2 that one scriddler fic on ao3 that helped inspire that riddle LMAO

1K notes · View notes

treasureplcnet · 6 months

Text

inverness here they come!!!!

#ignoring canon. does everyone know that esther forces her way back into his life even in a world where they don't have to meet #and then they just ditch london and live an oddly quiet life until the end of the war in scotland. they told me that.#more than anything in the world i am always thinking of the incredible force that these two are and how determined they are to survive #please see: esther genuinely trying to shoot him (makes me laugh everytime i see it) and the way karl blends himself into every scenario #not above lying not above running away just trying to get by. 'i treat others the way they treat me'. distrustful by default #and finally the only reason these two stop kicking and clawing is the budding family they accidentally form #AND THEN THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF EP4 HAPPENS.#ep8 gives me a semblance of peace. theyre in inverness to ME.#i do also rly adore their twin rbf. at any given moment they look as though theyre chatting shit (they are)#AND the gun thing is so funny. the gun fails and instead of giving up esther just tries to shoot him again LLOOOLLLL #no thoughts towards the consequences and with no experience with guns as well. she's literally goated #jacob fortune lloyd's interview on this and his thoughts on their relationship also makes me a tiny bit sick so .#anyways. WATCH BODIES #karl weissman #esther jankovsky #bodies netflix #my art #bodies 2023

834 notes · View notes

ash-and-starlight · 3 months

Text

modern au and esen’s honkers are haunting the instagram feed

#id in alt text #yea this was inspired by That watermelon smashing vid #if u don’t know what i’m talking about you’re living a more peaceful life than i am #at first I was like hm maybe this is a bit too ooc for ouyang #then I remembered the 'doEs GeNerAL Xu pLAY thE FLuTE???' and I was like nah ok it checks out #no filter & accidentally revealing how much of a gayass he is is how he rolls #also rip Ma she's just trying to hang out with her boygf and that hideous Pest that Wretched Thang that useless twink #just manifests wherever zhu is and ruins the mood #she deserves to hatecrime him as much as possible #also I don't think esen is 100% aware he's posting blatant thirst traps. his insta is mostly pics of his horses and his beautiful eagle #then one vid of him doing mounted archery that breaks the internet for 3 weeks #rinse and repeat #also yeah wang's special skill is starting shit in the comments section #he would absolutely thrive in the toxic waste that is social media fights #ty for reading this far. more unhinged takes at 5 #esen-temur #zhu yuanzhang #ma xiuying #general ouyang #the radiant emperor #she who became the sun #he who drowned the world #my art

481 notes · View notes

evilkitten3 · 3 months

Text

one pet peeve of mine in founders-era fanfics is when madara's whole,,,, everything is solved by izuna just being there

like maybe this is just me, but i don't think izuna surviving or even coming around to the idea of a truce with the senju would've been enough to keep madara from the path he ended up on.

izuna wasn't the reason he left - he was definitely part of madara's issues, but he wasn't the why. even if izuna had stuck around, and even if that had been enough to keep the uchiha clan from losing their faith in madara, i think he would've still come to realize konoha wasn't what he'd hoped it would be.

best case scenario, i think izuna's survival might've caused madara to stick around a bit longer, but i don't think it would've lasted. honestly, even then, that might've just made the inevitable break-up between madara and hashirama even more agonizing (particularly for izuna)

it's a fun idea to play around with for sure, but frankly i don't think canon!madara could've ever been 'saved' from that path. certainly not if the hidden village system ended up getting set up in the same way.

#naruto #naruto shippuden #meta #uchiha madara #uchiha izuna #senju hashirama #from the moment madara was born into that world he was doomed to walk that path i think #most fics that have izuna live and madara still leave that i've seen keep izuna's death as the catalyst. but moved down a bit #which i understand #but imo it'd be more interesting to explore how izuna would feel about his brother's choice #bc as much as people like to view izuna as like a super big bro supporter. he really REALLY isn't #his loyalty is to the uchiha clan #we're explicitly shown that if forced to pick between the clan's interests and madara's dream izuna will pick the clan #both as a kid when he and tajima fought tobirama and butsuma #and as an adult when he used his last words (or the last words hashirama ever heard from him) to further that divide #the clan chose konoha over madara. and i think izuna - as against the idea as he was to begin with - would've also #not bc he doesn't love his brother. bc his loyalty is and always will be to the uchiha clan #hell madara was the same until he was physically forced to stop #first by hashirama trying to use his own life as a bid for peace between their families #and later by the uchiha clan's rejection of madara himself #madara is like. if the doomed hero trope was the antagonist #having said all of that zetsu was never going to let izuna live bc he needed madara to get the eternal mangekyou sharingan #and izuna was the only one of his siblings who lived long enough to see him get the regular sharingan. so it had to be him #but like i said even if that weren't the case it wouldn't have mattered #madara believed that the end - the world of dreams - would justify the means. if izuna hadn't given up his eyes freely...#well. it's not like people didn't end up thinking madara had taken them anyway #i don't think even naruto could've saved madara really #the only thing anyone could've saved him from was dying alone #which is what would've happened if everyone except him was in the infinite tsukuyomi when kaguya came back #and honestly even tho all three of his deaths had other people there (hashirama then obito then hashirama again)

127 notes · View notes

obihoe · 7 months

Text

i think its so crazy the way having power as a shinobi always seems to be such a double edged sword on naruto. like on one hand, u need it, its a tool for survival and it earns u respect from ur peers. but on the other .. it can also lead to the exact opposite. if u have too much power it can lead (or contribute) to isolation and becoming ostracized from ur community bc it makes people fearful of u .. this is applicable to madara i think and to naruto and gaara as well. madara isnt ostracized only bc of his power, it is also his lack of skill in forming bonds bc he has trust problems but his power is a major contributing factor. he is feared for his power (but also admired) and the more he gets isolated, the more he starts building his own identity around it as well and starts thinking its the only thing valuable abt himself. naruto as well is feared for his power as a jinchuuriki even tho he is also a bit of a special case since its only the grownups that know abt this so his peers ... they ostracize him for the opposite thing. he's a failure at the academy and a difficult learner so he gets no respect. it is only when he starts gaining more power (or controlling it better) and using it for the sake of the village that he gets everyone's respect and acknowledgement. he's a hero even all of a sudden. but gaara is an even more extreme case. gaara is also a jinchuuriki and he's ostracized for it to such an extent that he does not get to build bonds at all and in a bit similar fashion to madara starts self-identifying only over his power. both him and madara end up consumed by their power but while madara decides to use it for the sake of saving the world, gaara just fully decides to just live for himself, fight for himself and love only himself ... madara also becomes a bit self-absorbed but its not something he does purposefully i think. gaara just goes, well, everyone fears me and despises me anyway, so i might as well give them a reason. my only purpose in this world is to kill ... i have no other reason to live. i forgot where i was going with this but .. something something isolation, objectification and dehumanization from others on account of ur power and it leads to the person internalizing it and seeing themselves also as either below or above being human .. madara perceives himself to be above it, he develops a god complex and comes to think that he is the messiah who will solve the world's problems (with power) and gaara seems to perceive himself to be beneath it .. as a tool and a servant. both to his village and to the bloodthirsty voices he hears in his head.

#gaara #madara #naruto #posts #.. had a whole other chunk of text here that i deleted bc i thought it wasnt that relevant to the topic of thr post #but i still think its interesting so i'll put it in here #when i said gaara hears voices .. i was going to say mdr doesnt but then realized that thats not true? mdr also hears voices #presumably. he heard kuro zetsu speak to him in his head during their first (well majority actually) time that they spent together #in the cave. mdr seperates him from himself when he gives him to obt. and he seems to believe that to have been the moment of his creation #anyways but i think its so interesting how both him and gaara have a seperate identity with them that benefits from this?#they benefit from their corruption. the ichibi benefits from gaara's bloodlust and hatred and kuro zetsu benefits from mdr's power lust #and they both drive them to further pursue it ... there is something in there i think. something abt how experiencing isolation etc #will make u susceptible to ill-natured manipulation or influence. from the outside #gaara apparently can handle having to live with shukaku after he gains his first bond (naruto). and he isnt susceptible to it anymore #mdr wouldnt have gone down his path either if his bond w hsrm hadnt fallen apart #naruto is saved bc he does not give up on trying to find bonds. putting aside how it kinda sucks for him to have to prove his worth #to his village first. it is ultimately abt him never giving up. always trying ... and eventually finding the right people #to bond with #mdr never finds this up until the end of his life ... and its the reason he cant find his peace ever before #but i also think its interesting how both kuro zetsu and the ichibi .. i mean they dont outright manipulate their targets #theyre moreso just feeding into whats already there .. its why mdr/zetsu work great together narratively i think #but it also applies to gaara as well. gaara wants to shed blood bc he wants to share the same kind of pain he has experienced #just like mdr wants to gain power/become god cuz he longs for control and is fearful of depending on others #and both the ichibi and kuro zetsu want that as well. the ichibi hates how the humans have treated him. he hates being confined to #a jinchuuriki's body. he wants to be free. and if he cannot be free he will use his host to go punish the humans who did that to him #and kuro zetsu well ... he wants to be powerful i guess. but he moreso wants mdr to think that he is #so that he can become host to kaguya who will explode the fucking shit out of him #there's more even .... gaara seeing himself as a tool to others since he believes the voice to be his mother's .. and mdr seeing himself #at the center of everything cuz he thinks that the voice is his own. mdr bc of this being even more self-centered #but then also more altruistic. bc he's the savior. running out of tags here unfortunately but yeah .. much to think about

98 notes · View notes

sciderman · 10 days

Note

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

#sci speaks #i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified #but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.

36 notes · View notes

feroluce · 10 months

Text

Extremely in love with the idea of a time loop scenario for submas, because PLA made it just so PERFECT for them. ♡♡♡

I love thinking of it from Ingo's POV because that would be so confusing. Like he goes to bed with Emmet totally normal and fine one night, and the next morning, the change is just so. STARK.

Emmet looks exhausted, in a way that Ingo has no idea how to deal with, because it doesn't look as simple as Emmet not having slept well. He's tired in a way that sleep won't fix, he's listless, he's quiet, all of his energy and chipper attitude that Emmet usually displays even in the early hours of the morning has been completely sucked away and left him looking hollow and empty.

Emmet seems resigned to something, and Ingo has no idea what it is or what to do about it.

Ingo himself has had a strange anxiety lately, something he's left unspoken so as not to worry his darling brother, an odd ominous sensation that haunts him constantly, but all of it goes on the back burner immediately. It's probably nothing. It's certainly not his main concern anymore.

His day only gets weirder as it goes. Not only does Emmet evade Ingo's questions trying to figure out what's wrong with him, he also refuses to explain odd things that he shouldn't have or know. Ingo finds a pokeball that doesn't match any of their team, it's one he's never seen or even heard of before, gold on one side and silver on the other-

Emmet lays his hand over Ingo's, carefully takes the pokeball from him, quietly tells him not to worry about it. Everything will be ok. Emmet will explain everything, he promises. But later...ok?

Ingo doesn't push. Emmet goes back to cooking breakfast. He somehow manages to make exactly what Ingo's craving.

÷÷÷

When they get to Gear Station, Emmet asks to do the multi train instead of running their own separate lines, and Ingo is so distressed about Emmet's behavior so far that he doesn't have it in him to refuse. Ingo would do just about anything right then to see Emmet actually smile, not the crestfallen, stitched-on expression that's been fooling everyone else all day.

Emmet goes on to correctly predict every single pair of trainers they face that day, to the point that it becomes uncanny. He's always been an extremely able battler, Emmet has excellent intuition and he can quickly adapt to almost anything thrown his way. Ingo has always admired and been so, so proud of him.

But that's a little different from Emmet adjusting to a trainer's attack pattern before they even toss out their pokeball.

Over their lunchbreak, Emmet doesn't leave Ingo's side for even a moment, much as he's done for the entire day. They normally stick pretty close together, they prefer to function as a pair after all, but there's a strange desperation to it today. Emmet pulls out the lunches he'd made that morning; it's all of their favorites.

Ingo watches Emmet savor it like a last meal.

And then, that night, at the end of their shift, well after dark when the hour is closing in on midnight. Ingo gets a message that a bright light was seen down in one of the abandoned subway tunnels. Must be a flashlight; a trespasser, probably. Ingo turns to tell Emmet to go home without him; Ingo is the night owl between them and Emmet has had an off day. He deserves to go home and rest, Ingo will be home as soon as he's done with some more work.

Ingo has no more opened his mouth when he realizes Emmet already has all his things gathered and is taking his hand. "I'm going down with you."

Ingo hadn't told him about the message yet. He shouldn't have known.

÷÷÷

The whole way down the tunnels, Emmet has a vice grip on Ingo's hand, fingers laced tight together. He barely even seems to investigate, he just kind of walks with Ingo, pace slower than usual, always watching their steps.

Ingo sticks his head around a corner to check for intruders, and hears a quiet intake of breath behind him before the hand in his suddenly redoubles its grip.

Ingo turns around. Emmet is looking down. Ingo follows his gaze.

There is light. Bright, searing, white light, that is not Emmet's flashlight, not Ingo's flashlight, but is wrapped around Ingo himself, coming up from the bottoms of his shoes.

Ingo tries to jump back but finds that he can't move, he's rooted to the spot, there is light pouring out of him and flooding the ground, spreading outwards, lapping at Emmet's ankles who is suddenly right up against Ingo and holding onto him like he might disappear.

"I am sorry. Ingo, I am so, so sorry." Ingo pushes at Emmet's arms, but he won't budge, he won't get out of the way- "I tried. I really did!" the light wants Ingo, just him, he can feel it, Emmet needs to get away from him- "Many, maaaaany times!" he has no idea what he's talking about but he can't let Emmet be collateral, he can't, he can't, Ingo shoves at him again, harder, Emmet stubbornly clings on, Ingo's panic is rising like the tide, like bile in his throat, only growing more desperate in the face of Emmet's disarming calm, the light is obscuring everything, warping it, twisting it- "But I could not keep you here with me."

Everything, all of it, his entire world turns violently on its head, and when the light finally lets him go, Ingo sees bright blue sky all around him. Emmet looks up at him, the force of the shift having put them at arm's length, but unable to break their grip on each other. He can see the entire expanse of the landscape sprawled behind his brother, far far below. Pinpricks of tears bubble up from Emmet's eyes and spatter against Ingo's cheeks as they hurtle like a comet towards the ground.

"So let's Fall together."

#blankshipping #submas #pokemon ingo #pokemon emmet #subway master ingo #JUST. OUGH #that gap between Ingo having no idea what's going on while Emmet knows exactly what's happening #the implied horror of Emmet going through loop after loop after loop trying so so hard to keep Ingo with him Unova and never succeeding #and realizing that. he's never going to succeed. he wasn't meant to. he won't be allowed to.#and now he has a decision to make. Emmet can either let Ingo go- make his peace with the loss of his brother and try to live without him-#-or he can go with him. Emmet can give up everything and everyone he's ever known and throw himself into the rift with Ingo to follow him #and maybe it's an easy decision. but it is not one he makes happily or without agonizing. but he still makes it.#Emmet knows exactly what he's doing and that it will be the most horrible thing he will ever experience in his entire life #and still he does it because Ingo is worth it. Ingo is worth EVERYTHING to him- even the loss of their home.#so all that's left is to try to get in one last good day before they lose everything #Emmet makes Ingo his favorite foods and savors his own last meal because he doesn’t know when he'll ever be able to eat it again #Emmet gets them to do one last run on the multi line because that was always his favorite- getting to battle as a team with Ingo at his side #and he sticks by Ingo's side all day so that he'll be ready #because whatever wants Ingo is going to have to take him too #ingo #emmet #time loops #my fics

82 notes · View notes

gayofthefae · 2 years

Text

Will and Mike is going to be so beautiful. Because think about it - the 80s. Will crying in that van is no tragedy. There was no loss of hope. He never had it. Neither of them did. To Will, this is just what was always inevitable. That’s why he holds onto this “keeping childhood” idea and you never hear him mention living next to each other anything truly reminiscent of the future. He never expected anything. He realized he was gay and had feelings for his best friend. He enjoyed the time he had. Then Mike got a girlfriend and he tried to hold on tightly to what they had before but then Mike said they had to grow up some day and it hurt because he knew it was true. He had thought it before, I’m sure. That even may have hurt more than the homophobic comment. Because it wasn’t ill-intended; it wasn’t an insult. It was just a (perceived) truth. He always knew this was coming, some part of him at least. So when Mike needs help with his girlfriend, he helps, he lies for her, and for him, and for the success of their relationship. Because he loves El and he loves Mike. He loves Mike in the way that he wants him to be happy and he assumes that this is how to do that. And if they break up - he won’t assume he has a chance. He’ll assume that he has some more time with Mike before he finds his next girlfriend, future wife, etc. That’s why there needs to be a coming out before a confession and/or why Mike needs to initiate (he has the info via the painting now available to realize that he isn’t completely without chance).

But for Will, this is no tragedy. This is just life, as part of him wanted to try to forget but always knew it was always going to be. And so he makes the best of it. He is sad for himself but he is also happy for them. He only ever steps in personally when their friendship is jeopardized.

But what all this really sets Mike’s reciprocation up to be is a nice surprise. And there’s a certain kind of joy that’s different from relief that he was waiting for. Because he wasn’t waiting for it. I doubt he believed enough to “give up”. This is him getting something he had become contented with never having. And what healing too. Not just of people with experiences like his in those unsafe setting but I feel a certain generation healing too. So many self-aware gay people and lesbians settled and made the best of their situations because realistically, they would never expect more. And Will Byers doesn’t either. But he gets it anyways.

#will byers #he gets his happy ending for all the queer people that didn't #all the queer people that died happy but not relieved #or just happy enough but not truly at peace or content #or miserable but trying their best to find little ways not to be #gay #lgbtq #lgbtq healing #lgbtq generational healing #byler #stranger things #yes i know that the 80s was not that long ago and many living people went through what he is and found love and freedom and happiness later #in life #but it doesn't take away the past generations stripped of it #or even the decades stripped from themselves

465 notes · View notes