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oliversrarebooks · 9 months

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lay down on the operating table

TW: forced sedation, experimentation, restraints, struggling

Lay down on the operating table for us. I know you're upset about being experimented on and brainwashed, but it's for the greater good. You'll feel much better about it once we've sedated you. These restraints are for your own safety. Just put your arm down, and -- there we go, all secured. Just relax. There's no point in fighting. You should know that by now.

That's right, soon you'll be trapped inside a body that's too heavy and too drowsy to move, completely relaxed, unable to focus on anything but how much you want to sleep. Every fiber of your body will be relaxed. Your eyelids will become too heavy to keep open. The sedation will slowly overwhelm you until you can't fight it any more.

And once you're asleep, no matter what is done to you, you will not resist. You won't even be aware of what is happening. You'll be completely at our mercy, sleeping so peacefully. Once the sedative starts to kick in, you won't even remember a thing.

Here, let me put the mask on you and secure it. It's only oxygen. Now breath in deeply. One deep relaxing breath for me. In and out. That's it. Another deep breath. In and out. Good.

Now I am going to start the drug that will put you to sleep. It'll take a few minutes to work, but soon it's going to make you very, very relaxed, and very, very sleepy. No use holding your breath. Just breath normally. There you go.

That's it. Relax and let the sedative work its magic on you. You'll start to feel drowsy and floaty as the drug enters your system. Your eyes will become heavy, and you'll let them drift shut. Your mind will blank, leaving you so relaxed. Do you feel it yet?

You're starting to look a bit dazed. The sedation is beginning to work, I think. You're feeling nice and relaxed, aren't you? And so sleepy. I can see your eyes blinking so slowly. No, no, it's no use to struggle against the restraints. Eventually, you'll stop fighting it and go to sleep.

Your body is becoming heavy and your mind is growing hazy. Just lie back on the table, yes, that's good. Take another deep breath. Is that a yawn? Is the gas making you drowsy? You're starting to feel it affecting you, aren't you? Lying there, staring up at the ceiling, fighting those heavy eyelids.

I bet you feel so calm and peaceful. Like you want to let yourself drift off to sleep, right?

Your body and mind are relaxing and becoming more sedated, and there's so little you can do about it. Your eyelids want to drift shut. That tiredness is spreading all throughout your body. Is it starting to get hard to keep your eyes open? Is your head starting to feel heavy? Do you feel like you could fall asleep at any moment if you wanted to?

Yes, that's how the sedative is supposed to make you feel -- calm, relaxed, heavy, sleepy. You're fighting your body's natural urges to go to sleep. You'll lose that battle. You are going to go to sleep.

Did you realize that you've stopped struggling against the restraints? It looks like you can barely keep your eyes open. Slowly and surely, the sedative is putting you to sleep, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's no use fighting those heavy, tired eyelids. They're shutting all on their own.

That's right, you're completely unable to fight the sedation. It's strong and powerful. It will make you feel floaty and drowsy and oh so blissful. It will override your desire to stay awake. It was all over the second we started the drug, and you knew that.

The sedation is conquering your body and soon it will conquer your mind. Your body will fall asleep soon. Let yourself stop fighting, let sleep claim your helpless body. Let sleep take you. Let the sedation claim you. Let your eyelids close.

You're becoming drowsy, drowsier and sleepier. Soon your eyelids will close, and you will give in to the sedation, and you will be so docile and pliant and entirely at my mercy. Are you ready for that? The moment when your eyelids close will be the point of no return. A fleeting moment when you are not yet asleep and not quite awake. A moment where you know you've lost the fight, where you feel utterly helpless.

There we go. Shut those sleepy eyes for me. Don't open them again. Let the sedative put you fast asleep. There we go, fall asleep. Go to sleep, deep asleep. So deeply asleep. It feels so good to stop fighting and go to sleep. And now that you've fallen asleep, we can do whatever experiments we please.

Now, we can get to work.

#whump #whump writing #whumpee #medical whump #drug whump #sedation #experiment whump #tw restraints #sleep

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unclewaynemunson · 1 year

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What if the bats got Eddie so bad that part of his guts were damaged beyond repair and he needed to get a stoma?

TW for body issues and medical content (I guess? Please let me know if I should use another TW for that)

EDIT: I posted an extended version of this post on ao3. Thank you @spectrum-spectre for helping me get there <333

They were in Eddie's bathroom, Eddie on the stool that had been placed there for him before he got home, and Steve standing right in front of him. Eddie was still recovering, but he had finally gotten the green light to leave the hospital. He had spent the day with Wayne, who was now at his night shift, so Steve had arrived to the trailer to keep Eddie company instead. Nobody really liked the thought of Eddie being alone in the trailer, even though Eddie himself pretended like it was all fine – the guy was a terrible liar, and Steve wouldn't mind spending some time with him anyway.

At least, he had thought he wouldn't mind, before he actually got there. He had pictured them spending a couple of hours hanging out together, then helping Eddie get ready for bed, and falling asleep in Eddie's bed together at a reasonable hour because Eddie still needed his rest. What he had certainly not pictured, was Eddie practically begging him to leave him to his own devices behind a locked door in the bathroom.

'I'm not letting you do it alone,' Steve said, getting tired of Eddie's stubbornness. 'Wayne would kill me if he found out, and I only just won his trust – not worth it, man!' He hoped that throwing Wayne in his arguments would be more successful than his concerns about Eddie's health and safety, which did not seem to hit home at all.

'I can take care of myself, alright?'

'Barely,' Steve couldn't help but scoff.

'Wayne can help me with this shit in the morning!'

'I know, but he isn't always here. What if you need help when he is at work?'

'I can teach Nancy how to do it, or Robin.'

Steve wanted to say something along the lines of 'So it’s just me who you don't trust with this?' but he knew it'd be a real dick move to make this about himself, so he decided to go for logic instead.

'Both of them will be off to college after the summer,' he pointed out. 'And I'll be right here. So why don't you teach me how to do it and let me help you?'

Eddie opened his mouth, no doubt to protest some more, but Steve was losing his patience by now.

'Look, you need a backup close to you, man,' he said. 'You want Dustin to do it?'

Eddie chuckled darkly. 'God, no,' he mumbled.

He squeezed his eyes shut – but not before Steve caught a glimpse of the tears Eddie was apparently trying so hard to hold back – and suddenly he understood that this wasn’t just Eddie being an annoying little shit. Eddie was scared. He was vulnerable. And trusting people when you were scared and vulnerable... Well, that was a goddamn scary thing, even Steve knew that.

'Hey,' Steve said, in a much softer voice than before. 'I got you, alright?' He gave a gentle squeeze to Eddie's knee, feeling the soft skin through the rips in his jeans against his fingers. 'It's okay, I really don't mind. I'm happy to help you out. And I’ll be careful, you can trust me.'

'It's not that I don’t trust you, it's...' Eddie took a deep, shaky breath and Steve could sense that something important was coming.

'It's kinda gross, you know. The whole stoma thing. And, like, extremely unsexy.'

And there was something about the combination of Eddie calling it unsexy and him preferring the help of Robin or Nancy over Steve's... Something that Steve very much could not begin to unpack right now, even though it was doing something weird to his stomach.

'It's not gross,' he protested, focusing on the other – the easier – part of Eddie's confession. 'It's just your body, man, it's part of being alive. I like that you're alive.'

'I can barely even look at it,' Eddie whispered, so softly that Steve could barely make out the words. It sounded so small, so un-Eddie-like, so fragile...

'So let me take care of it,' Steve tried. 'I'd be happy to do it for you. And I promise I won't find it gross. I mean, yeah, maybe it's not sexy, but not everything needs to be sexy at all times. Things can be neutral, right?'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.' He made sure to not lose eye contact with Eddie as he nodded earnestly.

'Okay. I think I can settle for neutral.'

'Can I take off your shirt?'

And somehow, that got him another chuckle.

'Sure, big boy, you can take off my shirt,' Eddie answered.

Steve felt like there was a joke in there that went over his head, but he helped Eddie pull the black fabric over his face and his curls.

There was so much more to look at than the tiny piece of intestine peeking out of Eddie's belly and the pouch filled with turbid liquid attached to it. There was also a whole maze of wounds and bruises scattered across his torso, some all-too-familiar looking bite marks that would no doubt leave scars in Eddie's sides. But none of it was gross or unsexy. Yes, maybe some of it was neutral – Steve wouldn't wish the bite marks both of them carried onto anyone – but underneath all that, there was something else: it was the fact that this was Eddie's skin, that the half-torn-apart tattoos he saw had once been selected by Eddie, that Eddie's heart was beating in that chest...

Steve quickly let his gaze travel upwards, back to the safety of Eddie’s eyes.

‘Alright, tell me what to do,’ he said.

Eddie finally gave up his protesting and guided Steve through the process of taking off the pouch, cleaning the skin underneath it, and applying a new one.

'Sorry,' Steve mumbled when he was struggling to attach it properly.

'Don’t worry. Takes a while to get the hang of it,' Eddie answered. And Steve tried not to think about how there seemed to be a promise in those words, a promise that Eddie would trust him to take care of him, now. That he'd get to do this often enough to get the hang of it. That he'd get to know all about Eddie's body.

'Thank you,' Eddie said in a soft voice when they were all done.

'You don't need to thank me for that,' Steve protested.

'No, I mean, thank you for... Not, like, flinching or, I dunno, looking disgusted or something, when you...' He stumbled his way through the words, uncharacteristically awkward, as if he felt ashamed of what he was trying to say to Steve.

'No need to thank me for that either,' Steve answered earnestly.

But Eddie still looked at him with those scared wide eyes, so he gently placed both his hands on Eddie's bare shoulders.

'You look...' He swallowed, chickened out right on the verge of saying whatever it was he was going to say. 'It's not disgusting. Not at all. It's... It's just you.'

And there was this shy smile around Eddie's lips, as if he knew exactly what Steve had almost blurted out.

'I think it's kinda metal,’ Steve added in attempt to steer things back to safer territories - and for the first time since they were in that bathroom, Eddie let out a real, actual laugh.

He playfully bumped a fist against Steve's shoulder.

'You really don't know enough about metal to decide that, big boy.'

Steve chuckled. ‘Well, I’m pretty sure Izzy would agree with me on this one.’

‘Ozzy,’ Eddie corrected him, rolling his eyes but still smiling.

Steve's hands were still resting on Eddie's shoulders, and Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve's back, tugging him closer until he could rest his head in the crook of Steve's neck. Steve was sure Eddie would be able to hear how violently his heart was beating right now, but he didn’t pull back, didn’t move; he simply kept holding him, gently tracing his hand over the bare skin of Eddie’s spine.

Eddie wasn't the only one who had been damaged beyond repair, but in this moment, in the trailer's tiny bathroom, they could simply hold each other and pretend like they were both still whole.

#full disclosure: i don't have any personal experience with stomas #so everything in here comes from what my housemate told me and some internet research #please let me know if i should make any changes!!!#tw body issues #tw medical content #the mortifying ordeal of being known #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stoma #stranger things #fruity ficlet #don't mind me rambling about stranger things

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 9 months

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Autism and Alcohol

Neurodivergent_lou

#autism #actually autistic #autism & alcohol #how alcohol affects autistic individuals #I can’t drink due to medication #what are your experiences with alcohol?#feel free to reblog/share #neurodivergent lou (facebook)#tw bright colors #tw eye strain

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serashalala · 1 year

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Generation Loss's Mind Manipulation; A theory by a tired college student

OK. GENERATION LOSS. That was a ride and it’s not even done!

Fuckin loved it, by the way. It was so good. I loved everyone's acting and Sneeg's realization part gave me literal fucking chills as well as Slime screaming and Austin freaking out while Ranboo n Sneeg were just chill.

FUCK that was cool. Thank you @ranboolivesaysstuff for sharing this with us.

Anyway, here’s a nerd dump on the entire mind control thing. I’m not exactly a genius but I’m studying neurosci as one of my college units and this is basically the gist of how I understand the mind control aspect that this is showing.

SO.

You recognize this? This is the device that we think is controlling Ranboo’s mind. It’s at the back part of the brain, and easily this leads to two possible structures that it can influence: the occipital lobe of the cerebrum and the cerebellum. However, we don’t really know HOW deep this device goes considering Ranboo’s lucious locks of hair covering the rest of the mask and the fact that we don’t know if this is the only thing penetrating the brain.

Anyway, let’s discuss what we know which is that it’s likely latched onto the back part and thus likely embedded onto the cerebral occipital lobe and/or the cerebellum

The occipital lobe is at the back part of the head, and as you see on the picture below, it’s the visual area (mostly).

To make me sound more professional and shit let me introduce to you the brodmann areas. Brodmann areas divide the cerebrum by its function.

Area 17, 18, and 19.

Area 17 is the primary visual area. This is where you see shit. If the device’s influence is only as deep as area 17 then Ranboo is either literally blinded by the device OR the device intercepts what his eyes are really seeing. Damage to this area will lead to literal blindness or difficulty to see.

Area 18 and 19 however are the secondary visual area, otherwise known as the visual association area. This is where you recognize the things that you see. Damage to this leads to dyschromatopsia (color blindness), and visual agnosia (inability to perceive visual stimuli.).

Basically to explain, as an example you see an apple. That’s the job of area 17. However, you don’t really know yet that it’s an apple. To know that an apple is an apple, you tap into area 18 and 19– the visual association area.

The device LIKELY reaches into this area because the entire time, Ranboo doesn’t recognize that he’s on a show set and he doesn’t see the people on the set like the directors and the staff. What he does see is a 4th wall.

Upon deactivation of the device, only then does he recognize that oh shit, that isn’t a wall.

twitch_clip

Does it stop there? Ok, why not go deeper?

Next to Area 19 is area 37. This is the Facial Recognition area. It's self explanatory if Ranboo's mind control device goes that deep.

How about Area 39 and 7? They're both Someasthetic areas. 39 and 40 specifically have a lot to do with memory, emotion, behavior, sex. rage, fear, and pain.

Area 7 integrates sensory inputs-- it draws upon stored memories of past sensory experiences. This area aint that deep tho ngl, it's basically the part that goes: yo, this fire thing burns you, maybe don't touch it. This can be as deep as you want to interpret it being.

Edit: I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THIS. Ranboo's stream confirms it SCREAMING RIGHT NOW. THEY SAID. "Change someone's perception of reality, and they will act how you want." SCREAMING CRYING WAILING SOBBING. I KNEW IT. The next parts of the theory will be further discussing the things that MAY still apply, alongside the things that Ranboo almost confirmed.

Next suspected area:

The cerebellum.

The cerebellum is mostly responsible for a lot of important things (as are the rest of the brain but let me get into it)

The cerebellum has 3 main functions: maintenance of posture and balance; maintenance of muscle tone; and coordination of voluntary motor activity.

You see where I’m going for here?

The cerebellum is a likely attachment site of the device because it is gunning for that motor activity and posture and balance. It controls the agonist and antagonist coordination of the muscles to make sure that there’s no jerky movements going on. As for posture and balance, it can affect your movements so that you don’t look robotic, and so that you don’t have to voluntarily maintain your posture. Maintenance of muscle tone has the same idea.

It is also the best bet because it has its lapses.

While it controls a lot of motor function, it isn’t the only site of motor control in the body. There’s other areas, like the Basal Nuclei, the motor area of the cerebrum (brodmann area 4 and 6) and the spinalcord (though this is more on reactionary shit).

It makes the device fallible where the fine motor movements (such as in the fingertips, where the cerebellum controls less of) is less prone to influence by the device, leading to this nifty clip right here:

twitch_clip

And this here too:

twitch_clip

They're able to do morse code with his hands, the fingers.

And, chances are, the reason they have a mask in the first place is because it’s significantly more difficult to reach the area that controls the facial expressions since that is a direct connection from the brain to the face via the Facial Nerve that stems anteriorly to from the brainstem. It’d be hard to reach from behind especially. (unless the device yanknow, snuck around the spine or something idk)

So if the connection is posterior, they’d have difficulty reaching that (to a safe extent, at least. We have no idea how deep it goes.

Then again, we don’t know the function of the rest of the mask.

Now for some close competitors of where the mind control device is attached/penetrating!

"But sera, what if it influences at a lower level than the occipital lobe or the cerebellum?"

Cervical spine C1 Level

Difficult to defend. That leaves the problem of Ranboo's speech control. The lower the level the less things it's able to influence. At C1 level, a person's speech, which is something Ranboo's clearly being influenced over, can't be damaged from this level.

"How are we so sure that it's at the back??"

Because it's the clearest shot we've got with that weird circle thing.

Frontal Lobe

This one is a good contender. The Frontal Lobe has the Decision and / or Judgement Center of the brain (area 10, more to be mentioned about this later), as well as the motor areas (areas 4 and 6), and twisting that could lead to being able to change what a person does when faced with a stimuli as well as a bigger portion of voluntary movement.

However, this one is difficult to visually justify.

While it's true that we can't see much behind the mask, we also can't see it penetrate towards the frontal lobe. Let's say it penetrates through the mouth somehow-- how is Ranboo's diction so clear?

But the reason why it's a very good contender is that it could possibly go through the nose. Did you know that the cribriform plate, the part of the skull where the olfactory nerve goes through, is the easiest to break? and thus it's also the easiest to penetrate?

Issue with that though is that Ranboo has a working sense of smell. The Olfactory nerve (smelling nerve) is easy to disturb.

Anything deeper? More anterior?

Any deeper structures are likely too unimportant-- the diencephalon, pons are all mostly on the hormonal / nonvoluntary actions (breathing, sweat, thirst, hunger, etc). Those aren't too fun to control especially when what you want is a puppet.

The most likely candidate is the basal nuclei, which has a lot to do with movement. However it's mostly useless when you target it because it's goal is to make sure that when you want to raise a glass, you don't yeet it to the sky. It makes sure that you have the right amount of output to the muscle without overcompensating.

So what does the device control?

Both.

Well, not both. All-- err, mostly. Ding ding ding! They're all winners.

Only at its best, though, which was during Episode 1 (when undisturbed)-- NOT episode 2.

At its best, the mask is able to take full function of the brain-- most strongly at where it's sourced, though, which is at the posterior regions. Weaker control is evident when you see the finger taps that Ranboo is still able to do. Think of it as some sort of energy gradient-- most concentrated at the back of the head, and weakest at the front.

At its blinking state, influenced by the outsider, Ranboo regains Control of most of the more anterior parts of the brain, but you'd notice it's still blinking-- it never really fully released Ranboo. Its still got a strong influence at the back portion of the brain.

It takes a lot to rip away its influence from Ranboo, as you can see from what the weird shadowy figure from the TV says in the end where he had to do something to disable it fully before Ranboo breaks the fourth wall.

How do we know that? Let's go back to the clip where Ranboo FULLY 'wakes up':

twitch_clip

It took some effort by the hacker to fully release Ranboo, but until that point Ranboo hadn't even seen the 4th wall despite being able to gain autonomy of most their function.

Then let's go back to the part where, when Ranboo's device was 'reset':

twitch_clip

You notice how the showbizz person isn't someone they interact with? They don't SEE these people. The device is still on, because it's intercepting with Ranboo's perception.

Let's go back to the announcements then.

We don't get to choose a lot this episode, instead we're subjected to puzzles that have more to do with everyone else BUT Ranboo.

I present to you, Brodmann Area 10

This is the largest area in the frontal lobe, and is incharge of decision making (among other things). We, the audience, can't make decisions as flexibly anymore because they needed a stricter control of the device.

The hacker is able to intercept that flexibility and thus the showfall media reduced the extent of which we're able to control ranboo, taking all that control for themselves. It isn't interactive anymore.

Literally being gatekeeped from the audience, smh.

Now what?

A summary of course.

I suspect that when the lights are on (in the mask), it has a stronger pulse and thus influences a larger chunk of his head, ABLE (but not necessarily) to reach the frontal lobe.

It blinks, then it indicates that its pulse is weaker, but still present (the cerebellum is slightly further to reach than the occipital lobe) which is why his sight might still be influenced.

And lights being gone? That's Ranboo's full autonomy baybee. They're back in business!

As for the others' mind manipulation system, I'm not quite sure yet. Probably could reduce it to having already been subjected to being conditioned, not like our 'fresh' protagonist. I'll probably add onto this when something clicks in the future.

This ended up a lot longer than intended...

Anyway, that’s just a theory, a tired-college-student-from-an-allied-health-course theory. Thanks for reading.

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jordanstrophe · 11 months

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Whumpee's strapped to a cold steel table with no room to struggle. Whumper holds a needle staring at them hungrily without hardly blinking.

"This won't kill you..." They say, flicking the mid of the needle.

"But depending on how much you struggle, it will hurt you."

#medical whump #needle whump #whump #whumpee #whumper #whump prompts #whump scenario #whump angst #creepy whumper #lab whump #test subject whump #kidnap prompt #kidnapped whumpee #tw medical #experiment whump #whumper prompt #whump dialog #torture whump #torture prompt

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sonicattos · 6 months

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shadow being a victim of medical experimentation and malpractice having to deal with constant modifications and changes in his body. trial and error. invasive procedures. auuughh head in hands. let him heal.

#tw abuse #medical abuse tw #saltcat text #sonic hcs #this isn’t entirely canon but it seems inevitable considering he is a lab experiment #shadow the hedgehog #sth

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uncanny-tranny · 3 months

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Passing as a trans man is a nuanced and complex topic, but one thing I have been noticing as somebody who is a cis-passing (white) trans man is the way I'm treated when there is conflict.

I've noticed that in conflict, people are almost meek around me, willing for me to try working with them up until a woman is involved. When a woman (or, really, anybody who the other party assumes is one) is part of the conflict, they direct all their anger and rage to them. It's fucking insane the way a woman is treated when there is conflict, even if it isn't her fucking fault. These people are fundamental cowards for seeing my manhood as the only reason they can't be openly hostile to me, but it reveals a lot about how a misogynist thinks on an almost primal level.

I'm watching the women and people around me I care about being torn apart by people, and that's unacceptable. I can't sit around to watch it, and I don't want to do that. I need other people to perhaps read this and remember to not stand by if there is something that you can tangibly do to help, even if it's to lend a listening ear or let the person vent.

#feminism #misogyny #misogyny tw #before writing this i was worried about my blood pressure because i'm fucking angry #i hate the way cowards will look at me and see a man and be scared of me until they see a woman they feel strong enough to abuse #and i have faced my own experiences with misogyny and abuse now that i have transitioned and am recognized as male...#...like i had NEVER been catcalled until i medically transitioned. and now that i'm much more male i have been catcalled MULTIPLE times...#...which is why this topic is nuanced and complex and i hate this idea that we can bulldoze it down flat to 'make it make sense'#i want to always believe in people but i'm not a fool. i am not willing to stand around and just pretend like this shit doesn't happen #i WATCH this shit happen. i WITNESS it and HEAR it and i try to find some way to help the woman and/or person in question #and i know there's this aspect of white privilege in this where my white manhood is seen as a lesser threat #i can absolutely imaging a Black or otherwise MoC trans person not being given this level of grace from the get-go #i'm angry right now and i hope that my words are making sense. i want to address as much as possible but i'm sure you understand

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marvel-ous-m · 1 year

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*another installment of Modern Elementary School Steddie AU* *TWs: Hospital visit, medical scare*

It’s a rainy Friday in March when everything goes to shit. They’re coming up on Steve and Eddie’s 6 month anniversary, and Eddie’s using his lunch break to browse some potential weekend getaway spots. They can’t go too expensive- they’re both living off of a teacher’s salary after all, they can barely afford their living expenses, plus Valentine’s day just happened and they went a little overboard with a nice dinner- but Eddie had picked up a couple extra shifts at his old shop over the last few weekends while Steve was busy grading papers and lesson planning, so he had a little money set aside to treat Steve to something special.

Eddie’s just about to press the ‘reserve’ button on an AirBnB in Chicago for the weekend when Mike Wheeler and Will Byers walk into his library holding hands.

Unaccompanied.

And Mike looks like he’s been crying.

Eddie stands from his chair and circles his desk, crouching in front of the two boys. “Hey guys. You should be doing…” Eddie searches his brain for a moment, trying to remember Steve’s schedule for the kids. “Math problems right now, right? Does Mr. Steve know that you’re here?”

“He told us to come here.” Will sniffs, and Eddie notes that he looks on the brink of tears. “He stopped teaching and then turned all the lights off and then sat down and then made us come an’ get you. ‘S he gonna be okay?”

Eddie tries very, very hard to keep the panic off of his face. He honestly has no clue what’s going on, but he doesn’t waste time trying to figure it out. “Let’s go make sure. Good job being safe by coming here together, boys.” Eddie walks out of the library with them and down the hall- and goddamn why was Steve’s classroom so far from the library?!

Finally, after the longest three minutes of Eddie’s life, they make it to the classroom and Eddie finds a dark classroom of quiet kids sitting politely at their desks and Steve sitting at the front of the room, his forehead against the metal of his teacher’s table. Eddie clears his throat, smiling at all the kids. He needs to check on Steve, but if something is seriously wrong, he knows that Steve wouldn’t want the kids to see it. “Alright everyone, line up, we’re gonna visit Mr. Argyle’s 2nd grade class. C’mon, hop to it.”

Argyle teaches across the hall, so Eddie figured it would be fastest to usher the kids across the hallway to him. He gets them all in a line within a minute (which is probably a world record for any elementary school anywhere, but he doesn’t exactly have the time to parade his accomplishment around at the moment). Argyle accepts the kids without question, having them all join him on the carpet at the front of the room for story time. He must see something in Eddie’s expression because Argyle waves him off the second the last kid steps into the classroom.

Eddie’s back across the hall in a heartbeat, kneeling next to Steve and brushing some hair out of his face. “Hey pretty boy. What’s goin’ on?”

Steve lets out a low groan, shaking his head slightly against the table. Eddie sighs in response. “I need to know what’s wrong so I can fix it, babylove. Can you give me any direction? Is this a need-a-break-for-30-minutes thing or a need-to-call-the-paramedics thing?” Eddie sends a quick prayer to whatever being is listening that it’s not the second option.

Then Steve unfurls his fist that was previously clenched in a fist and holds up two fingers, and Eddie’s stomach drops.

He uses Steve’s phone to dial Nancy’s extension, petrified of letting Steve out of his sight. He tells her it’s a code red and that she needs to come to Steve’s classroom pronto. Steve doesn’t complain about anything, like, ever. They were making dinner one night about a month ago and Steve cut his hand open on a potato peeler and laughed it off- then kept laughing it off as they went to urgent care to get him stitches.

Eddie meets Nancy in the hall- reluctant to leave Steve, but also conscientious of not freaking Steve out as they go through the motions of getting him help. Nancy’s got her cell phone out and she dials for a paramedic first, then texts Johnathan to let him know that his afternoon library session had to be canceled. They both wait with Steve in the dark of his classroom until Nancy gets the call from the front office that the ambulance arrived. She stalks off, returning five minutes later with four paramedics and a stretcher.

Eddie is pushed out of the way- and fuck, he hates having to stand by and watch, chewing at his fingernails as he sees the gaggle of paramedics speaking quietly between themselves and making Steve respond to questions and open his eyes for them to shine a light and check his pupils. Then they’re loading him on a stretcher, and everything starts to go by too quickly for Eddie to process.

Eddie blinks, and he’s in the back of an ambulance, his hand wrapped around Steve’s ankle- the only spot Eddie feels like he can touch without messing with wires, but he’s desperate to hold onto something. To show Steve that he’s here.

He blinks again, and Eddie’s standing at the doors to the emergency room, staring at the doors through which they had just taken Steve, the doors through which he was not allowed to follow.

Another blink and he’s sitting at Steve’s bedside, head in his hands while Steve takes a medically-induced nap next to him. He’d been taken in for scans- MRI, CT, XRay- Eddie wasn’t sure, he got the letters mixed up in his panic, all he knew was that they scanned his head because his pupils weren’t dilating correctly, then took his blood to run some tests, then put him to sleep because he had thrown up from pain and had begged for them to turn the lights off.

Which, Eddie hated the image of Steve feeling that way. He could barely stand it. But he was glad that the nurse had told him- because seeing Steve wheeled back to the hospital room asleep had scared Eddie in an entirely different way.

Steve woke up about two hours after he had been returned from his scans. He was groggy, but had reached for Eddie almost immediately and said that he was feeling a lot better, which made Eddie’s heart rate go down to a semi-normal bpm (in comparison to the previous extremely high heart rate- his anxiety was a bitch). A doctor joined them a few minutes later and Eddie held Steve’s hand as they got the update.

Steve had a migraine, which the doctor explained could be chronic- Steve would need to speak with a neurologist about that. The emergency room doctor said he suspected it was due to head trauma and was latent until something knocked it into presenting itself. And that’s how Eddie found out that Jonathan Byers, 5th grade teacher, once beat up Steve when they were teenagers to protect Nancy Wheeler’s honor? Which... it was a very confusing timeline, not aided by Steve’s exhaustion, but Eddie made him promise that they would talk about it in detail when Steve was feeling better.

Then Steve confessed to getting in a bar fight with a guy that happened to be Max Mayfield’s much older step-brother, where he had a beer bottle smashed over his head (a story which Eddie also couldn’t follow due to Steve’s current condition, and also made Steve promise to tell again when he was feeling better).

Then there was a story about Steve getting punched by a Russian guy who was mugging him a year or so ago- which, how does that even happen?

Then Steve finished off his recounting of his head trauma history by sharing that he’d slipped on some ice at the bottom of the stairs of his apartment complex about a month ago, and that the back of his head had hit the bottom step when he fell. He apparently didn’t think much of it at the time other than that it hurt like hell (which made Eddie have Steve promise to tell him anytime he got hurt- because things like this couldn’t keep happening).

After recounting all his concussions, the doctor handed them a referral to a neurologist and had a nurse get them discharged. Eddie took Steve back to his place that night, unable to let Steve out of his sight. Steve was exhausted from the day, and in Eddie’s opinion, rightfully so. Eddie helped him get changed into sweats and then changed himself into more comfortable clothes. Finally, after they were both settled in Eddie’s bed, Eddie wrapped himself around Steve and kissed Steve’s forehead, watching his boy sleep the day’s stress away. Nancy gave them both the rest of the week off, knowing that Steve needed the rest and Eddie needed the peace of mind.

The two went to the neurologist that weekend and, after some more tests, Steve was diagnosed with chronic migraines due to multiple traumatic brain injuries. He was prescribed a daily medication, a preventative medication in case he began to feel a migraine coming on, and some high-strength pain medication to take if a migraine happened. He was also given strict orders to avoid any activities that could cause further brain injury, as that could lead to results that, for Eddie’s own health, were best not to talk at length about.

Their anniversary money ended up getting used to offset the costs of the specialist visit and medication copay, and they ended up spending their 6 month anniversary curled up in Eddie’s bed while Eddie read Steve The Hobbit, but if the experience taught them both anything, it was that they didn’t need fancy trips out of state or five-star dinners to celebrate their love- the most important thing was just having time with each other, because they could have lost that completely, and they were never going to take that for granted again.

Taglist: @goodolefashionedloverboi

Drop me an ask if you want to get added to the taglist or if you have any ideas/questions about this series!

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #modern steddie au #elementary school steddie au #hurt/comfort #my writing #tw medical #author has no medical experience #other than medical trauma

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trans-axolotl · 8 months

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in one of my classes today (global mental health) the professor literally made us watch a video in class titled "top 10 HORRIFYING mental ASYLUMS in the united states" and it was a youtube video essay that is just listing out horrific abuses from a bunch of different institutions + showing graphic images of torture. was so fucking unnecessary and disrespectful to present this information in such a sensationalized and dramatized way. I contributed to discussion by saying "a lot of the things described in this video still happen, and pretending that this is only a historical legacy makes us complicit in the systems of power that allow these atrocities to happen in the first place" and the professor did not like that LMFAO

#personal #vent #psych ward tw #medical abuse tw #was one of the most triggering videos i watched like. i started crying a bit #and reminds me of how on the first day the professor said he values lived experience #but he obviously hasn't thought through the fact that people who have survived instituionalization. who have schizophrenia #would also be in this space.#fuck this class

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cyggiestardust · 6 months

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I gotta stop almost fuckin dying in November — this is two years in a goddamn row now. Almost the exact same way, too:

(scary medical shit under the cut. Near death close call, allergic reaction)

So last night during dinner, I found a hunk of cashew (not supposed to be there) in my smoked tomato truffle jam. I could tell I was in danger because I've officially been able to notice something (and I pray no one else deals with that!) that goes with danger level allergen exposure:

The single "BAH-BAM" of a heartbeat in my ears, way too loud, way too slow, followed by the immediate temporary disabling of my left side.

Until I looked down at my empty, idle forearm and saw the freaky shit going on there, the abnormal ripple in the muscle, and veins that got so itchy inside I could see them...moving around, shifting.

Then the chest punch hit me and we both remembered we're supposed to DO something.

It was absolutely a close call: we couldn't find the epipen. But it was a MUCH slower reaction than the juniper, which gave my husband a chance to think clearer than I could at the time — throat open, sinuses closing, head fading — and tossed me three Claritin (chewed them) followed immediately by three Vistaril, because you gotta get the immediate reaction AND anything possible later.

Once again my husband's fast thinking kept me on this planet. The screamy bus was fast enough, but the ER goes "well we see people in order of severity" and I sat idle in the waiting room for like 4 hours only to find out that even if they HAD seen me sooner even with the steroids they'd only do a 6 hour monitor. That's all.

We live an hour away and decided to do the monitor part at home. I'm on bedrest today, and I'm not about to argue with that today. I remember enough of last November. We got home round 1 AM.

The good news is I'm awake and alive.

The BAD news is ✨ literally everything hurts ✨ right now and I'm tired.

And until we read Every Label in the house again I'm not supposed to touch the pantry. Which right now is fine by me. I'm not planning on dying for the ultimate grilled PBJCB (peanut butter and jelly with cheese and bacon) sandwich today.

#cyggie ramble #tw: medical #tw: hospital #tw: anaphylaxis experience #I am disturbed by the fact that I think I've now used that last tag twice

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zebulontheplanet · 2 months

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Tw: talk about medical neglect, talk about bad hospital experience.

Remembering the time my stomach decided to stop working for a bit and I couldn’t hold down any food or water for days and my parents refused to take me to the hospital so my sister took me to the walk-in clinic because I could barley walk and my heart rate was in the 200s and they took my heart rate three times because they didn’t believe it and told me to go to the hospital immediately.

So I went to the hospital and they did a bunch of tests and found nothing besides some inflammation in my stomach and intestines so they just gave me IV fluids, some motren, and zofran, which helped but they still couldn’t find out what was wrong with me so they just sent me home and shrugged their shoulders and blamed me for it and basically kicked me out. Then I spent the next three days in bed in the same pain and nausea and still couldn’t keep food down. I eventually got better but still didn’t know what was wrong and still deal with this about three times a year with no explanation why.

Still dealing with chronic stomach issues, chronic nausea, and chronic constipation. Just love it. /sarcasm

#zebrambles #bad hospital experience #tw medical neglect

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academiccockroach · 6 months

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it's 1 AM and I have a very specific bone to pick with a very specific thing I consume, enjoy and endorse wholeheartedly

here's the thing about vampire bites. they are depicted as this little unhinged and nasty but mostly sexy thing right. our guy (gender neutral) gets bitten and it's like ah! it hurts but also it hurts good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). and here im talking about like. proper vampire teeth, non of that twilight bullshit just two to four proper fangs nothing more nothing less

well clearly the person writing the sexy biting smut scene has never been bitten by a cat. I dont mean like 'ah no Scruffy bit me a little' i don't even mean 'oh no Sceuffy bit me a lot' i mean like a fully grown ass feral cat that has never been touched by human in its life and craves the taste of flesh biting thru skin muscle cartilage -even sometimes bone- whatever the fuck you got in your meat sack that tiny needle thin tooth is piercing right through it

and here's the thing. it doesn't hurt at first oh no. okay well it hurts but if doesn't hurt too much ya know what i mean. and it leaves a cute little mark nothing serious at all

but in a day that wound is gonna swell. and it's gunna. hurt like all fuck because it just directly injected about five gazillion bacteria directly into a neat little incubation pouch and then closed it right up. its gona swell its gonna ooze and throb and hurt and if that shits in your neck ur pretty much done for i mean an infection right next to the jugular is just easy mode for the bacteria

so unless your vampire boyfriend gargles with antiseptic beforehand you aint gotta worry about turning or bleeding out or developing a biting kink cus youre gonna be delirious from meningitis with a football sized phlegmone in your neck beggjng for the sweet sweet release of death thank you for coming to my ted talk please ensure your vampire boyfriend employs proper dental hygiene

#i also find the image of the morning after hilarious #no walk of shame but ambulance ride of shame to get the wound disinfected #and yea ive been bitten by a caf recently and reevaluated my stance on this issue #its been more than a week and my finger just stopped hurting #it legitimately looks like ive put it into a saw trap #i mean the cat had a right to bite me but man dod you have tk bite THROUGH the joint #i legitimately cried from pain four nights in a row there was no medication strong enough to stop the the trobbing #my finger was FULL of puss I mean f u l l #and I must add I got it properly cleaned right away antibiotics anti inflammatory drugs tbe whole package #i know what im doing alright but man i never want to experience thag again #one of the worst pains in my life and I've broken five bones and dislocated multiple joints #ive had thick ass meedles inserted directly into my knee no anaesthetic whatsoever and it don even come CLOSE #I HOPE THAT LITTLE SHIT IS HAPPY #roachrambles #vampires #tw biting

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