#unhelpfultarot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

painterofthepond · 9 months

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⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️

I need you to forgive me

For my crime of being

I don’t know when the fog will lift

And I’m scared if it does

That I’ll be more vulnerable than before

I never want to go back to before

When June bugs lived in my hair

As worms live in rotting brains

I’ve been living with bed bugs

That eat me away

When someone finds me through all this fog

There won’t be any of me left to love

I feel like a hermit

With a broken shell

Don’t throw me away just yet

I still got a sentence to complete

A will to carry out

And love to keep hidden in depths

Between my eyes and throat

⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️

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sweet-cynicalstrain · 10 months

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The Untamed + @unhelpfultarot (Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3)

#meme time #thank you unhelpfultarot for being EXTREMELY helpful when it comes to being relevant to the untamed #these are so fun to make (and painful)#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #unhelpful tarot #untamed memes #more coming soon (?)#~#:)

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lazywitchling · 5 months

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The Three-but-actually-Six Card Spread

I vote that we call this one Schrodinger's Spread, because I don't know whether I'm gonna draw three or six until I've already pulled the cards.

So, I used to try to do the usual three card spread. You know the one. Every tarot book lists it as Past Present Future, unless you have a quirky deck, and then they've probably rebranded it as something else. You can find lists of three card spreads with different questions to ask. IT'S A WHOLE THING. There's like. a whole three-card-spread industry or something. But anyway: it always confused me.

I am absolutely not a tarot expert. I put down three cards, and then I can stare at it for an hour going "I have no idea what this means." The standard guidebook keywords float through my head, but I wasn't sure how to make an actual READ out of that.

I started following @unhelpfultarot, who is anything but unhelpful. Seeing the daily two card pull and the way that the two cards are connected into (usually) a single sentence made the lightbulb come on. "Oh THAT'S how you do it!" So I started just reading two cards at a time, but as a single unit, like Lenormand. And once I got a handle on that, I started adding the third card back in. Then I'd have two pairs of cards to read! 1>2 and 2>3.

Well, at some point, I was like "Hey what happens if I put a card down below those three, and used that as a sort of connection-between-them card?"

So now it looks like this:

1 2 3 4 5

Where "4" is not its own answer, it's just what connects 1 and 2. The same thing for 5: it just connects 2 and 3 without being its own answer.

WELL, then I'm looking at that, and I said "Hey, now I've generated another pair, so I can lay down ANOTHER card to connect those two!

1 2 3 4 5 6

"Hey, Jes? That's... that's a six card spread..."

Shhhhhhhhh. Who asked you.

"Crow did."

Hush, imaginary reader.

Anyway, so now what I've got is the original read, the three most important cards, 1 2 3. And btw, this whole thing is usually to answer ONE SINGLE QUESTION, because-- actually, @windvexer explains it better than I can here. (HEY. YOU. DON'T SKIP THAT LINK, ACTUALLY CLICK IT, THANK YOU.)

So what I have now is one question that is answered by a sentence (1-2-3), with two cards that don't tell me NEW information but that tell me what each pair is saying to each other (4 and 5), with a final one that's sort of a TL;DR card (6).

"Jes. That is a six card spread."

CORRECT, and as @upthewitchypunx and others have said, if I were charging money for this, yes absolutely this is a six card spread, and you're not getting it for 50% off.

BUT HERE'S HOW THE WHOLE THING HAPPENS IN A REAL WORLD SCENARIO

I pick up my tarot deck. I think "I'm going to do a three card reading." I pull three cards, lay them down, read. If they make sense, cool, I put them away and move on.

If I get confused though, then it's upside-down pyramid time, and I'll lay down the other three. This either results in "Ohhhhhh okay, THAT'S what it's saying," or I confuse myself EVEN more (which is very easy to do).

In that case, it's still living in my head as a three-card-spread, because that's the important part that I'm actually reading. But if I set out to pull the inverted pyramid from the get-go, then it's a six-card-spread.

This is where I'm legally obliged to put PREMEDITATED in all caps for @friend-crow

My joking answer, which wasn't FULLY a joke, is that nothing I do is premeditated. I don't MEAN for there to be six cards, but here they are now, and I've got more important questions than "is this still a three-card-spread or is it now a six-card-spread?"

At that point it's like the tarot equivalent of "Is a hot dog a sandwich" and would just trip me up when I'm just trying to eat a hot dog. The answer is "WHO CARES! I got things to do."

(@asksecularwitch 'cause you also had thinky thoughts about all this, and I wanted you to see the upside down pyramid!)

#schrodinger's tarot spread

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pallastrology · 6 months

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my favourite astro + witchcraft blogs

since we're in the season of cheer, i thought it would be nice to express my love and gratitude for some of my favourite blogs here on tumblr 🧡🐿️

@neptuneandwine - my best friend, who i actually met here on tumblr years ago. she's a truly brilliant person, the most talented tarot reader i've seen and a skilled astrologer too.

@ms-m-astrologer - i absolutely love the way M writes about transits, i always look forward to the monthly update posts and adjust my plans accordingly. also introduced me to the @unhelpfultarot blog, which is another of my favourites as it's just hilarious.

@seafoamreadings - beautifully written transit posts, i'll be subbing to their patreon when i'm able to for more of their work, and i love their more personal insights into how the transits affect us IRL too.

@mercurytrinemoon - i've followed for years and always love to read their replies to asks and insights. i also recently bought their personalised 2024 almanac and am so looking forward to it!

@elysiansparadise - such an aesthetically pleasing blog, and i love the longform posts about various placements. i always feel inspired after reading through elysian's blog :-)

@kayleightarot a really lovely tarot blog, i always look forward to their daily readings and i'm finding it helpful to look at the practical application of tarot too!

feel free to reblog with your favourite witchy blogs, let's share some love this december :-) much love to you all as always xo

#astrology #astrology blog #astrology post #astro community #astro blog

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everybodyisasebfan · 2 years

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The marks I left on track will stay until time and rain will wash them away

Sebastian, no amount of time and rain could ever wash away the marks you left on the sport, and on those lucky enough to know you.

Coffee Shop Soundtrack - All Time Low / Six of Wands and The Fool - unhelpfultarot / To the Countess of Blessington - Lord Byron / Judgement and Justice reversed - unhelpfultarot / Franz Kafka - Letters to Milena

#I'm really proud of how the first picture turned out #its honestly my favorite thing that sebs name is right above michaels on the trophy #sebastian vettel #f1

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pomrania · 1 year

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I tried to do something in the vein of @unhelpfultarot, drawing two cards and coming up with things from them, whether from meaning or appearance or what.

The Star (inverted) and The Sun: Public nudity is only considered cute if you're an infant. OR You'd have a lot more fun if you stopped trying to be mysterious all the time. OR Don't water your lawn, we're in the middle of a drought. OR Water flows "downwards" (towards the planet) even though the sun has greater mass, because attraction due to gravity has a strong "distance" component.

#no fandom #not a reblog #derpblogging

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vivit-s · 9 months

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Justice Reversed; Seven of Swords | Written Piece

Inspired by this post by the blog UnhelpfulTarot

Content Warnings: Domestic violence, major character death, referenced suicide (canon-typical Samuel being a terrible person, like this takese place after he kills Rose, I don't know what else to say.)

Author's Note: This is a bit of an older piece, written around November of last year, so how much I would consider it consistent with Sam's current characterization is debatable. Still, although it's short, I thought it'd be worth sharing anyways.

---

His hands shook, the gun sliding out of them effortlessly.

He wanted to scream, cry; do anything except stare at his wife’s now lifeless body.

He did that, he shot her.

Of course he hadn’t meant to, nobody means to do a thing like that, certainly not him. His target was himself, his life a victim to the realization of his utter hopelessness of living without her in it, a notion that should be nothing but sympathetic in nature.

He secretly hoped she would stop him, talk him out of it, and promise to stay. He wasn’t counting on it, he wasn’t counting on anything that unfolded really, but he hoped.

He didn’t expect it to be a tussle that ends in him pulling the trigger while it faced her.

So now he stood there with a body and a choice.

He couldn’t possibly turn himself in. Even as accidental as it was, even as much as he could put into a good defense, it still ended in the loss of a life and he has a child to worry about. He couldn’t lose him too. Calling the police was out of the question.

Which then came to the natural second option: hiding the body. The thought was almost nauseating at first, like admitting to himself that what he did was murder. But then, even pushing down such an ethical quandary, came the more practical side of things: How? Sure, he could dispose of her remains somewhere, their property was far off enough that he wouldn’t be noticed, but eventually the question of her disappearance would arise.

He would be a suspect, naturally.

The primary suspect.

It would be a correct assertion, but not a favorable outcome in the slightest.

He focused back to the scene in front of him, gun laying at his feet.

A realization hit.

He found himself at the sink, washing blood off, only slightly. Just enough to make the phone call, not enough to arouse suspicion. He grabbed the phone, dialing the number, still shaking.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“It’s my wife—” He didn’t try to hide the fear in his voice, it works better if he doesn’t, “—She just shot herself in front of me and I—” tears welled up, “She’s dead.”

To say he was a skilled actor would be overestimating his own skill. But he knew enough how to keep a lie realistic, how to spin a story from an ugly truth to keep himself safe. He knew how just to let his voice crack and tremble to make himself seem more earnest.

And he loved her, truly and completely. It was his one truth he could swear upon.

But he was not going to prison because of an accident she brought upon herself.

#vivit #writing #original writing #tw murder #tw suicide mention

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thetarotcarrot · 5 years

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its the remix to ignition

So you’re gonna party with your friends--have an abundance of...something. Then you’re gonna hella regret that later.

So this is for an assignment for my blog, I have to ‘remix’ another source, and I would never do that without giving credit to that source. So this is a la the style of the unhelpfultarot. They take tarot cards and kind of apply funny meanings to them. I follow them and quite enjoy their humor. You should too. This was definitely not my idea. I am not that cleaver.

I’m gonna change it up a bit though and actually read these cards, since we are going to be a little different. But we’re gonna stick to the initial fun reading above the cut. I think there’s quite a bit of validity in the humorous reading of these cards.

So we know that cups is an emotional and feelings deck. In my sun and moon tarot deck the three of cups represents emotional wealth and a celebration of friendship. It looks like the three girls in the depiction are having a great time together, so this card could definitely be about celebrating with your friend group and having a good time together. I have two close girlfriends that I love dearly and currently as I’m typing we’re getting lit on an abundance of caffeine. I love dead week--she said not at all sarcastically.

The three of swords is a kind of sad card (maybe this is predicting my future caffeine crash, or what my Tuesday is going to be like--stabbing me in the heart repeatedly). Negative thinking abounds in this card, painful thoughts about love and relationships. I know that my friendship holds strong with these girls, so I really am thinking this is me tomorrow regretting staying up all night to get work done tonight. Or maybe its just me wishing I could actually be a triple threat, when I know I’m not even a singular threat.

All in all, looking at the joke reading, or as unhelpfultarot calls it ‘not remotely psychic,’ I think this is a good and fresh way to look at a reading. Taking it as a joke at face value and then going deeper.

They say that in order to joke in a language you have to really know it. So in order to joke it tarot you have to know what you’re talking about.

I mean.

Maybe.

I never know what I’m talking about. I rhymed tarot with carrot just to trip myself up.

#tarotcarrot #sun and moon tarot #tarot reading #three of cups #three of swords #listen #I tried #I'm doing my best #unhelpfultarot

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amarcia · 3 years

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Cardcaptor Sakura AU where everything is the same but Eriol runs @/unhelpfultarot

✨🌙 ART LOG -> @404ama

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #ccs #eriol #eriol hiiragizawa #tarot #comic #fanart #art

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sugar-petals · 4 years

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your fave blogs and why? would love recs from you! doesnt have to be content creators just ppl you enjoy seeing will be awesome

the why is easy, they’re ligthing up my dash 😄

@aureumjeon

@ajossi-art

@bangtanger

@byunvoyage

@capriccio-con-espressione

@exo-stentialism

@favefics

@happybbh

@hibiskooks

@honey-subs

@hopekidoki

@hyunnie-bunches

@knjspjm

@mintchocohip

@mrkslee

@myjunkisyuzuruhanyu

@noonae

@pocketfullofsuga

@prettykpopboys

@smiling-yuta

@skate-the-onion

@sub-idols

@submissivekpop

@supermsource

@sweetiexuxi

@tatakaeeren

@unhelpfultarot

@violet-the-witch

@weishenbwi

@yongcherie

#rec #blog rec #anon #cub mail 🐅

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sweet-cynicalstrain · 1 month

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And an alternate version:

The Untamed + @unhelpfultarot (Part 4 of Untamed x Unhelpful Tarot memes)

#untamed memes #slightly gruesome edition #also mostly dark mode edition apparently #rewatched some scenes that i hadn't watched in a long time to make these and aaaaa #i mean i only started watching the show like a year ago but it feels like a real journey #the song playing while wwx answers lan qiren's questions #jiang cheng reprimanding wei wuxian for being gone for three months and then hugging him #then the translation said 'spiritual energy is in our pubes' and it broke the intensity a little bit #the untamed #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #~

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lazywitchling · 1 year

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Hi! Im looking to get back into tarot and was wondering if you had any fun ideas for practice or just fun things to do with a deck in general? Have a good one!

Ooh yeah! Do readings for fictional characters! Pick out whatever character you want (your OCs, ones from your favorite show or movie or book or whatever) and draw some cards for them. Use spreads if you want, or just pick them out to see what comes up.

I've also used tarot cards as a sort of 'story prompt' with solo RPGs. I mostly do it with the one I've been slowly working on (which isn't ready for the public; it's barely ready for me!), but you could do it with something like Over the Mountain from @hillbillyoracle. Once you've rolled on the tables, you could then draw a card (or a couple cards!) to give you an additional story prompt of what happens.

There's also a bunch of games over on itch.io that use tarot cards as a game mechanic. Stuff like this, or this. (There's more around, but those are the ones I have bookmarked. Poke around the site and see what else is there!)

Also check out @unhelpfultarot, who is anything but unhelpful.

#tarot #witch tips

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goldenstars-for-goldenhearts · 5 years

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21 Questions tag

Tagged by @autumnwoodstarot (honestly I’m so flattered- today has been so great with all the love)

Rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people you want to get to know better

Nickname: sometimes online in the spiritual community I go by Luna. In real life people who know me well use pet names you’d give a loved one so yeah

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: 5’3 ish??? Idk???

Last Movie I Saw: The Haunting (i kinda fell asleep during it tho)

Last thing I googled: Artist collectives

Favorite musician: UMMMM how do I choose??? FKJ is dreamy and gorgeous and a fantastic musician, Green Day is like my life, Vampire Weekend??? Amine???? Donald Glover????? More indie rock chill bands??? Ben Howard???

Song stuck in my head: I’m Gonna Kill Santa Clause by Danny Gonzales (so stuck in my head that I sang it while meditating.....)

Other blogs: I have a few art accounts that are on hiatus- I’ll post about them later maybe

Do I get asks: Yeah but not enough lol

Blogs following: 103 (lots of nature blogs and cottages and cozy stuff)

Amount of sleep: 6-7 normally i guess

Lucky number: 1111 and 555

What I’m wearing rn: jeans and a sweater

Dream job: archaeologist and artist primarily, tarot on the side (honestly I’m gonna do what I want- live that kinda lifestyle)

Dream trip: ahhh i travel a lot and every trip I’ve been on is a dream trip. Gee, I guess a big trip with family and friends where we rent out a villa or go camping?? Idk I’m indecisive or maybe spending a week in a cabin in the forest

Favorite food: um, we’ve established I can’t make decisions. Maybe north Italian style pizza chips (it’s the bomb.com straight up pizza with fries on it) north Italian pizza is better than southern- southern is too thin— fight me on it. Or sushi- i spent lots of cash at 100¥ sushi go rounds lol. Or crab legs. or steak?? or a chilli cheese dog with fresh red onion on top..... Oh paella! yeah i just like food...

Play any instruments: alto and tenor sax, piano, learning guitar and uke

Languages: English, can kinda speak a little Italian and French and took three years of Japanese and can understand some Spanish

Favorite songs: Ummmm.. Spooky Guy, Gnossiene 1-4, the Gymnopiedes, Cape Cod Quassa Quassa, Yellow (Amine not Coldplay), Almost, Man of Constant Sorrow... the list goes on

Random fact: I love cooking and struggle to keep weight on me

Describe your aesthetic: Overall, good looking and pretty hipster/fashionable. I guess the eclecticness of Velvet Buzzsaw’s characters combined??

Who shall I tag: @spacecadetv @der-gluckliche-ein @small-sun-witch @cloudwitchy @thefloppybunny @angeloracle @clumsypagandiaries @unhelpfultarot @dappermouth idk...lol I’m new and shy

#21 questions #about me #ummm

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girlonthelasttrain · 2 years

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today's @unhelpfultarot reminded me that I never made good on the promise to do a reading with my game cards so here goes

two of wands reversed and page of cups. I think this is saying that an opportunity to break out of old habits and patterns will appear but I might be too distracted to notice

#I'm joking mostly #briscola cards don't have the major arcana (anymore?)#but anyway #tarots #tangentially

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witch-confessional · 6 years

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unhelpfultarot is a pretty solid blog.

@unhelpfultarot

#witchblr #witchcraft #confessions #witch confessional #crush #solid

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sweet-cynicalstrain · 9 months

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