#waiting for that tell-all book

[stoopid-turtle]

On the Acceptance of Unsteady Ground

Throughout this whole dive into turtle world, I've been very conscious of just how LITTLE access to information I have. I'm relying so heavily on English translations and platforms, and most of these are from turtles, so I'm fully aware I'm getting a biased perspective.

I've tried to read stuff from solos or even just neutral third-parties. The neutral parties don't have much depth of information, though, and I found solos heavy on accusations and declarations but light on actual...evidence. And they sometimes use some really nasty rhetoric against the idea that gg and dd might be gay.

Don't get me wrong, turtles get weird too. There's plenty of clearly false rumors, deceptively edited videos, silly stretches of logic, weird ideas of what how people in a relationship would act, etc. But there's at least enough English-speaking turtles that I can find some who are giving open and, as far as I can tell, accurate information (honestly, I find tumblr turtledom better at that then other platforms). I haven't really found a similar pocket of solo fans.

I'm also aware that there's always going to be a limit on how much I can know. I don't speak the language, so I'm always relying on translators. I have limited access to Weibo (even putting aside the language barrier, I'm in text confirmation limbo in actually getting an account), and I have little familiarity with the culture. I don't get a lot of the jokes or references, and stuff may strike me, an English-speaking American, differently than it would someone in China.

Add on top of that the fact that I'm trying to find out purposely obscured information about two celebrities, and, yeah, I'm fully aware that I'm on unsteady ground here. I can do my best, but I'm never going to know anything for certain.

But I've become okay with that.

It took a while. The dissatisfaction with the unknown (and unknowable) is what drove a lot of my early fixation and subsequent fall into the turtle pit. But now, especially after laying out my thoughts, I've reached a zen place with it. I'm 100% certain ggdd were together during filming/promo, and I'm 95% certain they're still together (I had this at 85% originally, but then the whole dd being sick and gg changing his schedule thing happened and I'm just...welp, guess I'm in this confidence interval, then).

Just having that certainty means I can enjoy updates from them without anguishing about "proof" or uncertainty. Oh, gg took the day off on dd's birthday? That's really sweet! I'm not gonna fuss about if it's coincidence ENOUGH to convince me, because I'm already convinced. It's a good place to be.

I typically don't care about celebrities. In fact, I've long been bewildered by celebrity culture here in the US, and I've often been actively annoyed when people assume/expect me to have opinions on things celebrities do. I'm the nerd who doesn't get why the actors get all the attention when the writer or director would be much more interesting.

So the fact that I've gone all fangirlish over two celebrities is bizarre to me, and I appreciate the irony. Well done, me. I attribute some of it to just being able to watch the bts and see their early interactions play out like a story. I find stories compelling, and both gg and dd are charismatic, attractive and have great chemistry. Whatever disdain I have for celebs, I do love a romance.

In my foray into the ggdd world, though, I've also had to learn more about c-ent, and y'all. It's nuts. Like, US entertainment is nuts too, but c-ent ratchets it up to 11. I've been in fandom a long time, and I thought I'd seen some weird stuff, but it's got nothing on c-ent. Just wrapping my head around the culture these guys are in took a lot of learning.

But I appreciate being able to dive into this culture and this country, because I knew very little about China beyond the antagonistic politics. It's been refreshing to get a view on life on the ground in China to humanize the folks there and get a clearer picture of the country.

I started this thing bc I had been spending so much time on Youtube watching clips, and I had thoughts and opinions and nowhere to put them. I already had a tumblr that I use to lurk on some fandoms and I had started following turtles too. I figured tumblr would be a decent place to splurge out my thoughts, so I set up a throwaway account to do so.

I get the vibe that a lot of new turtles come to bjyx through the same route I took? They watch The Untamed on Netflix. They get curious about the show and start watching some clips on YT. Next thing you know, they have 3 playlists full of purported "proof of love" and they need a whiteboard to connect everything together and their wife thinks they've gone completely bonkers supports them in all their oddities.

Like, I was really confused by turtles at first. I was just trying to watch bts videos on YouTube and I didn't know what bjyx meant, but the videos with the label were weird and had strange disclaimers that they were "only for turtles" and I had no clue what that even meant.

My confusion continued as I tried to read more. The fake story disclaimer convention is hella confusing as an outsider, and my first impression was that turtles were kinda crazy. The videos I saw gave overviews of candies without context, and some of them explicitly said they were proof of Yizhan love while still having that fake story disclaimer. Basically, it was a big confusing environment, and it's why I resisted buying into bjyx so hard for so long. It all seemed delulu.

But in reading more, I guess part of that is the point? Recognizing that gg and dd are in a vulnerable position should their relationship ever come out, having so much noise to muddy the waters makes a twisted, clownish sense. I don't know who came up with that convention or if it just kinda happened (is it a normal thing in c-ent? I don't know enough about celebrity fandoms), but hats off, I guess.

With the supertopic recently hitting 4 million active fans, there's something heartening about such a depth of support for the guys. I'm not naive enough to think all 4 million (plus international fans) are allies to LGBT folk in general, but it surely means something to ggdd to have that sort of support for their relationship. Honestly, it means something to me, as a random gay chick on the other side of the world, to see a gay couple get that kinda of support behind them.

I started watching the bts because I was afraid there'd be a lot of cynical homophobia on the set or some evidence of all the male cast being icked out by the whole thing. Instead, I got gg, who was so passionate about WWX being gay. I love that everybody knew they were telling a love story with as explicitly as they could get away with. I love that the guys wanted more Wangxian scenes and that the cast and crew made "everyday is everyday" jokes in a non-mocking way. I'm glad that the whole shoot seemed like such a positive environment for the cast and crew to being themselves and tell a type of story that they may not be able to be involved with ever again.

So, yes, this is my zen turtle place. When I set up a soapbox for myself, I didn't think too much about the fact that people would respond, but I'm so grateful to have had a chance to talk to some other turtles! Everybody is lovely and thank you for sharing my enthusiasm.

Like I said in the beginning, I don't have the time to keep super-active in the long-term. I had intended to write up my thoughts and poof away. But I do also plan to keep up with gg and dd and turtles, so instead I'm just gonna leave off with the potential for further posts down the line.

I'm not gonna be incredibly active, so please don't expect frequent updates or interactions from me. But if I have more Yizhan thoughts I'll pop up again with a post (I mean, I do have lots more thoughts, but nothing energizing enough to write about), or I'll leave a comment somewhere if I have something I simply must say. I'm also open to responding to asks about the timeline or anything else. And if I ever do stumble across anything groundbreaking with regards to the timeline, I'll probably add that in, because I'm particular about things being complete.

So thanks for being so welcoming! It's been a joy to clown around and make up completely fictional stories with everybody here. 🤡🐢🙇🏼

#yizhan #bjyx #gg and dd keep being ridiculous and it makes me ridiculous #also always gonna read moar fanfic #rooting for them #waiting for that tell-all book

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time

[writerfae]

I’m one of those people that lived and breathed the Percy Jackson books when I was younger and therefore regularly forgets that not everyone has read it as a kid

#someone around my age will tell me no they didn’t read the pjo books and I almlst get offended #until I realize that my experience is not universal and not everyone my age has made these books their entire personality as a kid #dare I say Percy Jackson formed my character in a way no other media ever has #it literally sparked my interest for mythology and for writing among other things #I wouldn’t even be here and have this blog if I wouldn’t have started writing pjo fanfics cause I loved the books so much #can’t wait to watch the show tbh but I try to be patient and wait for all episodes #writer speaks #percy jackson #tagging this probably was a mistake :|

[egophiliac]

HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THE UPCOMING NEWSS 👹👹👹

man, it's a good thing they stopped doing the episode 7 SSRs, because I'm really low on keys and gems right now and --

OH NO

#twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 6 spoilers #IT'S MY BOY #MY BEAUTIFUL ELECTRIC BOY #LOOK AT HIM! HE'S A BIG BRAVE KNIGHT!!!!!!! #but in a good way or a bad way. IS IT IN A GOOD WAY OR A BAD WAY TWST?! #'armor of the eternal night' that's not ominous at all NOPE #malleus is nightmare moon confirmed #wait. wait. hold on. armor of the eternal KNIGHT. ha ha i'm sorry i'm losing my mind a little #me zooming in to the banner as if that's going to tell me anything new: is that a crocodile mask. is he wearing baul's mask. #they did the half mask thing in lilia's card too so i think it's just to show his face in the card art. but it could also be a Thing. #I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING #god this is cerberus ortho all over again. what could it possibly MEAN #someone on the twst pr team really loves seeing us lose our goddamn minds huh #okay okay okay i'm cool i'm good i'm calm #let me just arrange my red thread on my corkboard here #unified exams end on the 11th so we're looking at >2 weeks here #eeeeek #sorry jamil your kelkkarotu card looks lovely but we'll have to catch up later #(do love that they straight-up were like 'kelkkarotu rerun featuring jamil as sir not appearing in this story') #man i'm so glad my horrible shrieky son is getting a big fancy story card #i hope this means silver gets one too #i hope this means EVERYONE gets one too #YOU GET A FANCY STORY SSR! AND YOU GET A FANCY STORY SSR! #DECADENTLY-ILLUSTRATED PLOT TWISTS FOR EVERYONE

[deanpinterester]

having sally yell at baby percy feels so fundamentally wrong. i didn't mind when she got frustrated with him in the pool because that was just one instance of sally losing her temper but now it's like oh. this is just how the show version of her is.

like. idk. one of sally's defining traits was that she never got mad at percy. that didn't mean she was weak. that was her strength. that she could pull through tough times by putting a smile on her face, so that she didn't scare percy, so that she could protect him.

i just feel like it would have been a much more well-defined scene if we got to see how sally manages to talk percy out of the car by. being nice?? coaxing him??? explaining the situation in a way he would understand instead of just saying "there are things i have to do that you don't understand" (if you say that to a kid they are 100% not going to listen to you bc. yeah they don't understand!! so you have to explain it in a way they WOULD understand!!)

if sally had already been dating smelly gabe at this point, she could have leveraged this. she could have put a funny spin on it and said "i'm just trying to get you away from smelly gabe's stinky gym shorts." if she wanted baby percy to not feel like she was abandoning him and separating him from the rest of society, she could have said "the kids in there are just like you." she could have given him a keepsake, to show she will always be with him. there are SO many ways the writers could have spun this and they just didn't. they went the easy way out.

all of these flashback scenes are painting a very unfortunate picture that percy didn't actually have a good relationship with his mom. and i know that's not the vibe the show is trying to go for, but they've got to understand!! that not everyone who's watched the show has the read the books! we don't all automatically know that sally and percy have the bestest mother-son relationship ever! if you only show sally being frustrated at baby percy, we start to think oh dang, maybe this whole time percy doesn't actually have a good relationship with his mom!

#uhhhh me #i think the tag is: #pjo show crit #also i don't think 'it's a character flaw' is a good defense #because sally DOES have a flaw. her flaw is that she bottles up all her problems!! she acts like she's fine but she isn't! #at the end of book 1 this is something she has to overcome when percy gives her medusa's head and tells her it's time to save herself!! #i don't see a need for this to change #i generally don't mind if an adaptation changes things but the change has to make sense and. like. be good?? #and so far all the changes in the show have either been baffling or poorly executed #like idk maybe you shouldn't have marketed the show as the most accurate book adaptation we've been waiting for- #-if you're gonna make the most perplexing and unnecessary changes ever

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Thoughts Vol. 1 Pt. 2

So now that I've finished with volume 1, I just wanted to write down a couple thoughts I've had and neat things to point out so far

When I was watching Stampede, I took note of a few kind of textbook avoidant behaviours Vash engages in, and lo and behold, here he is in the manga displaying even more of them. I'll list out a few here.

In order, we have:

Casually asking for a time limit on the interaction (ie. "How long do I have to keep this up before I can leave?")

Attempting to lose people in a crowd

Leaving without saying anything (and as a bonus, dreading being recognized in public)

Over-indulging or over-involving oneself in social events to create a viable excuse to leave suddenly (in this case, he uses alcohol as a reason to "pass out")

Sleeping to avoid unwanted conversation

Escaping to the bathroom to get away for a bit (and also to grumble about it haha)

Playing off sincere reactions by deliberately allowing them to be misinterpreted to avoid personal questions

It's really obvious, even this early in the manga, that Vash is intentionally avoiding prolonged interaction with people, and only involving himself in situations by necessity. He doesn't like attention on himself - the only reason he intentionally draws it is to divert it away from others.

The reason for this is a bit muddy though. It does seem that Vash doesn't particularly enjoy being caught up in drama, and it is also very likely he wishes to get in and out of places as quickly as possible to avoid them getting caught up in his drama too. It may even be that he finds prolonged socializing kind of tiring; that he needs a certain amount of time to himself.

But then there's also this bit, shortly after the celebration, where he pretends to pass out.

This brings in a bit of a guilt aspect to it. It likely has to do with July, or maybe it's due to something else (at this point, we can't say), but I think it's notable that Vash cuts things off shortly before they become intimate. He can play along to make others happy and to share in their joy for a bit, but the second things get too personal or focused on him, he will quietly slip away. Now this is specifically an instance of physical intimacy, but I think it'd probably hold for emotional intimacy as well, given the continuous avoidance and misdirection he does to prevent too many questions.

I made some commentary on Stampede Vash's self-punishing behaviours - specifically, the way he denies himself food. I don't want to get too into it because I don't know if everyone reading this has seen Stampede, but food is framed as something to be shared in the show - so, denying himself food is denying himself the right to share with others, which is denying himself belonging, which is denying himself any semblance of intimacy. (It means other things too, as food-sharing is associated with Rem, but I don't want to get too into it here.)

Vash in the manga doesn't seem to have the same issues with eating, but this is a similar premise - he's denying himself intimacy out of a sense of not being deserving of it.

So, then, there are probably many interwoven reasons for Vash's avoidance - he's sick of the chaos that follows him around, he doesn't want others getting hurt, he gets tired from having to "play it up" all the time, and he seems to also feel that he doesn't deserve that closeness. I'm intrigued to see how Vash's avoidance will be tackled going forward (I'm assuming it will?), and I suspect, more than there being one right reason for it, that all these reasons are actually true to an extent.

On a completely different note, this panel here is the biggest mood. I feel it in my bones.

#me looking at vash's avoidant strategies: ha ha ha. i do that. #me: ...wait. no. that's bad. #meryl says 'vash stop getting into situations' and vash says 'i am trying to get OUT of the situations! i don't want to be here either!!!' #i do think there's a lot of... exhaustion to his character we don't see as much with stampede vash. manga vash looks TIRED man. #it makes sense. we know vash isn't... happy. to say the least. #playing it up all the time when you are not happy - i can tell you any social interaction becomes flat out exhausting #you're always acting. you feel like you have to be so careful with what you say. it's far less draining to just leave the room. #trigun #trigunbookclub #vash the stampede #trigun meta #storyrambles #if i'm just saying what is incredibly obvious or repeating what others have already said i'm sorry. #once i'm caught up i'll follow the book club tag and read what others have written!

[winepresswrath]

Could you elaborate on what the yanli-jc wwx conspiracy is?

They are just generally in cahoots re: making sure he's safe and bringing him home, sometimes in defiance of their parents or society or just the likely fact of his death. The first time Wei Wuxian runs away Jiang Cheng wants to follow him because he's worried he'll get hurt. Jiang Fengmian says no, and when Jiang Cheng sneaks out in defiance of his father's wishes with his little rucksack in hand, Yanli is waiting at the gates to support him and tell him to bring Wei Wuxian home safe, implicitly siding with him against their dad in the matter of whether Wei Wuxian might be in real trouble and if so, whether Jiang Cheng's help might be valuable.

The second time is during the sunshot campaign while Wei Wuxian is missing- she comes in when he's brooding over Wei Wuxian's sword and tells him how grown up he is, fusses over him a bit and asks him to bring him back. Jiang Cheng fervently agrees, and looks actively relieved and pleased she's asking this of him- it's blatantly obvious he was going to do it anyway, but her support and faith mean a lot to him which I think is significant because he's usually so worried about failure and he knows Wei Wuxian has been thrown in the burial mounds and is almost certainly dead, but he's not actually frightened he'll fail her, he's just glad they're on the same page. He gets extra support this round because Lan Wangji is also refusing to believe Wei Wuxian is dead and taking joint missions to Yiling with Jiang Cheng and his own turn at sword brooding.

Breaking the pattern, in CQL she was originally going to go with him to talk to Wei Wuxian after he takes the Wens to the burial mounds but he kind of sneaks off without her when he sees her with Zixuan and then doesn't manage to bring Wei Wuxian home to her; she has a sad prophetic dream about it. The conspiracy is broken!

Until! They conspire to bring Yanli to Yiling so Wei Wuxian can see her wedding clothes. I personally think it's implied by the response to Zixuan's request for Wei Wuxian to be allowed at Jin Ling's hundred days ceremony that they were in on that together- either way they're both playing their part, because everyone from the Lan to the JIn know Jiang Cheng would happily take Wei Wuxian back and Yanli misses him. Whether they planned it or just moped really obviously is debatable buy money is on them being in on it together with Zixuan and maybe even Lan Wangji.

And then of course there's Nightless City, where Jiang Cheng notably does not try to get to Wei Wuxian but Yanli does, and then he finds him and loses him all over again so he can have a much more prolonged and less emotionally supportive round of refusing to believe Wei Wuxian is dead.

Bonus Round: The only time Yanli sends Wei Wuxian after Jiang Cheng it's when he's been captured by the Wen because he was already on top of the send Wei Wuxian home safe to Jiejie agenda.

#annnnd basically all of this is a cql exclusive! in the book there's no roadtrip we don't see yanli and JC interact during sunshot and she's #not there for the fall of lotus pier. and zixuan just writes a letter to wwx inviting him to the ceremony #whereas in the show you explicitly see him tell his dad that yanli #producer of heirs and legitimate grandsons #just has one teensie little thing that would make her happy #and lwj backs him up and writes the letter himself #i forget who says he can rejoin the jiang immediately if he gives up the amulet i think it's jgy and obviously a trap #but it's taken for granted that everyone from lxc to jgs knows jc will take him back if he's allowed to. womp womp also you get the shot of #JC and Yanli waiting for WWX together with Jin Ling when they get the news of Zixuan's death which is just. they wanted to introduce him to #jin ling together ;___________________; we three!!!

[fictionadventurer]

The Long Winter hits very differently in a post-pandemic world. Now it's not just "we almost died because it was such a long, cold winter." It's specifically a story about supply chain issues.

In other books, the Ingalls family could have weathered a snowy winter pretty well. They almost never went to town, and they raised and stocked up enough supplies to get through the whole winter. But in South Dakota, they didn't have time to raise much of a crop their first year there. They lived a mile from town and relied on trains getting through to bring supplies. So they were out of almost everything by Christmas.

Instead of homemade candles, they were burning kerosene--which came by train. Instead of meat they hunted or slaughtered themselves, they were living on salt pork--sent by train. Instead of wood, they had only coal for fuel--which comes by train. And so on and so forth. They relied on a vast shipping infrastructure to bring what they needed, which meant they were out of luck when that supply line was stopped. The problems in this book come not so much from their world being too primitive, but because they relied on it being too advanced. And it all feels very familiar from personal experience.

#the long winter #little house #laura ingalls wilder #and that's why i now classify this story as a science fiction book #it's all about how technology affects the lives of these characters #you could tell the exact same story about settlers on a colony world waiting for supply ships to arrive #it's all the same thing

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake…. #I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour. #I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing? #y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day. #but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!! #I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

[ninjakk]

I live in a small village... and decided to visit my local bookstore to see if they could order MDZS in for me, because my pre-order was in limbo!

I wish I'd filmed it, because I think it would have went viral 🤭 The old lady who owns it is a little hard of hearing and repeats what you say to her rather loudly!

The old lady: "YOU WANT A DEMONIC BOOK?!"

The other locals casually browsing in the store, all turn to look at me as I stand there, wearing my bright pink coat and bunny earmuffs, with a big smile on my face. Looking nothing like what they assume a demonic book reader looks like lmao!

I know how WWX feels like now 🤣 there will be rumours spreading throughout the village I'm a demonic cultivator in no time! It's guidao!!! Guidao!!! 🤣😭

Anyway... then the old lady proceeded to google the tile and shot me a scandalised look, like something LQR would give WWX 🤭😳

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #mdzs novel #i'm going to move 🤣 #the look on her face when mdzs come up 🤭 #after all of that i got an email stating my pre-order was being posted out!!! #it's guidao!!!! 😭🤣 #this could only happen to me #when the locals starting asking me about my demonic book i can't wait to make them regret it as i tell them the whole plot 🤭❤️

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

gojo can canonically read i’m so proud of him

#LOOK AT HIM PSHDHSH #HES SO PRETTY but theres not a single thought behind those eyes😭😭😭 #gojo strikes me as the type of guy to drape himself over your couch w a book in hand all forlorn and then not read a single page #while he waits for u to tell him how sophisticated and pretty he looks #hes so stupid (affectionate) #gojo satoru

[newvision]

Joy Sullivan via @7oranges // Edward Hopper, Compartment C, Car 293, 1938 // Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

#can’t wait to travel again in the summertime with my best frienddddd we’re going to Kopenhagen #this was inspired by all my planning to move to the UK #Brexit didn’t make shit easier let me tell you that #joy sullivan #edward hopper #mary Oliver #on summer #on life #on travelling #literature #poetry #books #litblr #webweaving #web weaving

[imeminemp3]

ive made this post before but it's so weird being a fan of queen the way i am cause they're world fucking famous but those are just... my four guys!! my buddies. my pals.

#im fully in it i don't just. believe what i saw in bohemian rhapsody 2018 i did my own research i read books i can distinctly tell their #writing styles etc but like #they are just 4 funny guys to me!!!!!!! and i love them!!! #it's so different to like. being a fan of the beatles bc everyone knows all of their drama and stuff they're taken like.. way more for #granted than queen bc to ppl #wait maybe i meant it the other way around sorry queen are taken more for granted? do i know what that phrase means? #anyway people are just. used to queen without knowing much about them ig??? #average casual queen fan: ummmm freddie was gay and he died. #and that's like all they know about the band #i feellike ppl are more likely to know beatle bsides than queen bsides #it's also different from being a monkee fan bc LITERALLY all ppl know abt the monkees is that they did im a believer #it's not even that people only know the surface level stuff abt them like w queen. it's that no one rlly knows much at all!!!! #this is all like. very much an analysis of the modern age reactions to such bands of course #at the height of their careers ppl were more invested but now? not so #diary

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[lieximhuman]

i have like-- two drawings that need to be done by the end of the year but thats in like two days. WAIT WHAT THE FUCK.

-> LITERALLY JUST LOOKED AT THE DATE WHILE WRITTING THIS BTW I AM SO SO SO SO FUCKED. OMG. OMG OH NO///

I WAS ALSO PLANNING TO READ A WHOLE HALF BOOK BY NOW NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#ive got a priority drawing but omg i gotta start it now!! #and ig i gotta look at the submittion day for that other drawing #and oh no fuck that book its audio book time :ccc #fucking hate being time blind literaly aughHhhh #fuck u human perception of time not being all abt months and hours augh #put me in a cave and dont tell me the timeeeee #(<- get my science joke? lmfao. i am not a nerd.) #shitpost #fuck #WAIT NO I GOTTA DO THREE DRAWINGS OMG IM SUCH A DUMBASS #NOOOOOOOOO. GOTTA FINISH MY SKETCHBOOK- #FUCK IT MY DRAWING WILL BE IN THAT DANG SKETCHBOOK #HOW DO I CLIP THAT INTO A DRAWING BOARD???????? #FUCK #AND ITS NIGHT TIME FUCCKKKK #NOOO.

[snixx]

the 39 clues girlies are having a field day in the notes of a post I made months ago and all I can do is gaze upon them fondly as I remember the most passionate late lover of my life

#they want to revive the fandom 🥹 #oh the stories i could tell #jesus my t39c hyperfixation was definitely a Time. i don't think I've had a more intense hyperfixation ever #i can STILL name all the clues off the top of my head. five years later #i feel like a grandma #i don't get as sad over it or as excited every time i see a sign of someone wanting to revive the fandom as i used to but #your first love never dies and all #throwback to that time i tried to organise an internet clue hunt!!! we should totally do that on tumblr it could be so fun #i had so many ideas damn #the 39 clues #girlblogging.pdf #holy shit wait it's more like 7 years now. not five #broooooo #almost 8 tbh #i miss the site i miss the ffn forums i miss the books being in stores... #i miss the gc that made me get a tumblr in the firstplace #oof #i do not play about this series when i say i am INSUFFERABLE about it #i literally used to think about it 24/7 for years not exaggerating #i had to relate everything to it i still do #i was fully convinced i was an undercover lucian agent #who am I kidding i still do #i don't have one notebook without all the clues listed in them from some time i was bored in class