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caplanbuckybarnes · 9 months

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Songs4Caplan Challenge

Definitely supposed to be on hiatus, but I'd wanted to host another challenge. Please don't let this flop lmao

Rules:

Tag me in the authors notes & send me a message with yuor fic once it's posted! (along with the hashtag so I know which Masterlist to place the fic when I post it)

Please tag the proper warnings before the fic

Can be ANY CHARACTER YOU'D LIKE!!

More than one person can write for the same prompts

RPFs are allowed

If you’d like to write for more than one song, please make them separate fics

the songs are randomly picked from my playlist, so don't judge lol.

Can be however long you’d like the fic to be, however, please be considerate to the folks using the app and place the 'keep reading' feature on your posts!!

PLEASE tag the fic as #songs4caplan so i can easily find your fics!!!

Addicted to you simple plan

Africa Toto

All downhill from here new found glory

All for you sister hazel

All summer long kid Rock

Alone together fall out boy

Amnesia 5 seconds of summer

Animals maroon 5

As it was Harry styles

as the world caves in Sarah cothran

Ashes of Eden breaking Benjamin

Attention Charlie put

Bad guy Billie eillish

Bad things jace Everett

Beautiful mistakes maroon 5

Beautiful soul Jesse McCartney

Before he cheats carrie underwood

Before you go Lewis capaldi

Beggin maneskin

Better than me hinder

Blue ain’t your color Keith urban

Burn usher

Car radio twenty one pilots

Church fall out boy

Climax usher

Come & get it Selena Gomez

Count on me Bruno mars

Criminal Fiona Apple

Deja vu Olivia rodrigo

Delicate Taylor swift

Diary Tino Coury

Dirty laundry Carrie underwood

Dirty thoughts Chloe adams

Don’t call me up Mabel

Downtown lady a

Drivers license Olivia rodrigo

Easy on Adele

End of me a day to remember

Every breath you take the police

Every morning sugar ray

Everybody hurts r.e.m.

Fall for you secondhand serenade

Fallin Alicia keys

Fast car Tracy Chapman

Flowers Miley Cyrus

For the first time the script

Forever young alphaville

Forever and ever amen randy Travis

Fuck it Eamon

Fuck you bitch wheeler walker jr

Ghost of you Justin beiber

Glimpse of us Joji

God gave me you Blake Shelton

Hate (I really don’t like you) plain white tees

Havana Camilla cabello

Heart attack Demi lovato

Heartbreak anniversary giveon

Heaven Kane brown

Hello darlin Conway twitty

Hold on, we’re going on drake

How do you sleep Jesse McCartney

Hurt Johnny cash

I fall apart post Malone

I miss you blink 182

I see red everybody loves an outlaw

I wanna be your slave maneskin

I’m not the only one Sam smith

I’m the only one Melissa Ethridge

I’m yours Alessia Cara

In my blood Shawn Mendes

It ain’t me baby me Johnny cash

Jealous nick Jonas

Just one yesterday fall out boy

Just the way you are Bruno mars

Keep Holding On Avril Lavigne

Killer queen Queen

The last of the real ones

Leave the door open Bruno mars

Leavin’ Jesse McCartney

Let her go passenger

Like I can Sam smith

Lips of an angel hinder

Little do you know Alex & sierra

Little Talks Mumfords & sons

Mama's broken heart Miranda lambert

Man down Rihanna

Misery Maroon 5

My Boo usher & Alicia keys

Needed Me Rihanna

Never gonna be alone Nickelback

New Rules Dua Lipa

Not Over You Gavin DeGraw

Obsessed Mariah Carey

One Call Away Charlie Puth

One More Night Maroon 5

Our Song Taylor Swift

Picture KidRock & Sherry Crow

PillowTalk Zayn Malik

Please Don’t Leave Me Pink

Red Taylor Swift

Remember the time Michael Jackson

Rolling in the deep Adele

Say My Name Destiny’s Child

Say So Doja Cat

She’s Got You Patsy Cline

Shower Becky G

Smokin out the Window Bruno Mars

Someone You Loved Lewis Capaldi

Stay With Me Sam Smith

Take a Bow Rihanna

Take Me to Church Hozier

Take You Dancing Jason Derulo

There’s Nothing Holdin Me Back Shawn Mendes

Title Meghan Trainor

Too Good at Goodbyes Sam Smith

Too Little Too LAte JoJo

Trip Ella Mae

Trouble P!Nk

True Love P!NK

Unfaithful RIhanna

Unholy Sam smith

Unsteady X Ambassadors

Uptown Girl Billy Joel

Wait For You Elliot Yamin

Walk Me Home P!NK

Walkin After Midnight Patsy Cline

Want U Back Cher Lloyd

What a Man Gotta Do Jonas Brothers

What Ifs Kane Brown

Wolves Selena Gomez

Would You Go With Me? Josh Turner

You Found Me The Fray

You Had Me @ Hello A Day to Remember

You Need to Calm Down, Taylor Swift

#songs4caplan #writing #writing prompt #writeblr #nanowrimo 2023

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

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A Brief History of Time

A/N: sorry this request took a minute. My mental health as been trash lately and I feel like it’s starting to affect my writing. Hope this can still bring a smile to your faces though. Or at least make the person who requested it happy. Let me know what you think!

Warnings: none.

—-

“When I said I wanted to go for a walk, I didn’t realize it was gonna be raining.” She groaned, using her purse as a makeshift rain hat to protect herself from the rain.

“What, you call this rain? That’s not real rain. We’re in Manchester, baby.” Matty smiled, looking up at the sky as raindrops landed in his hair.

“What else would I call it?”

“Spitting.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Is that a Manchester thing?”

“Could be? I think it’s just an England thing to be honest.” He shrugged, watching her frown with every raindrop that landed on her clothes. “Alright, alright, you big baby. let’s find you an umbrella.”

***

“This was their last one.” Matty called out as he emerged out of the store. “You got really lucky- allow me.” He opened the umbrella for her, sticking his arm out, and gesturing for her to get underneath it. “M’lady.” She hopped closer to it, relieved at the shelter it provided. Matty held the umbrella up for her while she wrapped her fingers around his arm, huddling in to share in the cover with him.

“All better now?” He smiled down at her.

“Mhm.” She reached up, kissing his lips as a gesture of gratitude. “You know what would be even better, though?”

“What, my love?”

“If we could stop at that Starbucks over there. I think a coffee might be nice.”

“You want a coffee? Alright. But we’re absolutely NOT going into a Starbucks. I know a better place.”

“It’s gonna be really far away, isn’t it?”

Matty said nothing, simply smiling as he sprinted down the street, causing her to giggle and speed up to keep up with him.

***

“Oh, hey, look. It’s The Deaf Institute.” Matty stopped in his tracks abruptly, pointing at the building. A smile crept its way onto his face as he walked closer to the front door, leaning in to take a peak through the glass.

She couldn’t help but smile as well as she watched him visibly light up at the sight of the place whispering exclamations to himself.

“It’s where we had our first proper 1975 show, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…like, just when we were starting to attract attention. We played here and it fucking blew my mind that people knew the lyrics to ‘The City.’” Matty’s eyes twinkled with pride as he recalled the night, a decade ago. He couldn’t believe how quickly his whole life had changed.

“Hey, let’s go in there.” She whispered in his ear, as if sharing a secret plan.

“I thought you wanted a coffee…”

“Just a quick look around. I wanna see!”

“Alright, then.” Matty held the door open for her. “After you.”

“You’re such a gentleman.” She teased.

The place bustled with energy. The warm orange -red lights giving everything a golden glow. The space was by no means huge, but it was definitely packed. The walls lined with promotional posters of upcoming events. Some announced comedy shows, others were for bands and up and coming artists. She found herself imaging a 24 year old Matty, excitedly bouncing around the place. The image made her heart flutter with joy.

“I mean, at the time, the place felt enormous to us. We didn’t even have that many songs yet, I can’t believe we managed to put together a set list.” He laughed. “Oh my god. Look how low the stage is. In my mind, I was way above the crowd. This can’t be more than a few inches.” He giggled at the power of his memory to exaggerate the details of such a concrete moment.

An idea popped into her head. She pulled her phone out, typing “the 1975 the deaf institute,” into the search engine. “Oh my god, look! It’s on YouTube!” She held her phone up to his face, watching as he chuckled dramatically. “Look at my fuckin hair. What a wanker!” He shook his head.

“Hey, Matty? I have an idea. Go stand over there. I wanna take a picture of you. Re-create this original moment.”

“Babe-“

“Nope. I’m not taking no for an answer. Go!”

Begrudgingly, Matty did as she said, standing in the same corner that he clung to 10 years ago, smiling at her.

“Iconic! I’m making that my phone background.” She announced, proud of herself for having made him do it.

Within moments, a group of friends at the bar had recognized him and walked over to say hello.

She stood a short distance away, watching, and brimming with pride as he shook the fans’ hands and posed for pictures with them.

“Thank you. Nice to meet you!” He waved at them on the way out, flinging his arm around her and getting ready to open his umbrella again.

The rain had picked up when they stepped back out onto the street. It was definitely no longer just ‘spitting.’

“We’re having our afterparty at The Deaf Institute, you know? Like after our Manchester show.” Matty informed her as the building began to disappear behind them.

The pitter-patter of the rain against their umbrella was too loud for them to hold a conversation. They walked side by side, in silence, Matty occasionally pulling her to him and kissing her forehead.

“What- the- fu-“ Matty’s face dropped, pausing at the sidewalk.

“What? What is it, baby?”

“This- this was supposed to be the coffee shop.”

She looked around, confused. “Where?”

“Exactly! It’s gone! This- here!” He pointed to a partially demolished building. “This is where George and I would come get a coffee sometimes. Adam and Ross hated it. I mean, they’re right, it was shit, but it was all we could afford when we were kids, so- I can’t believe it’s gone!”

“I hate to interrupt your nostalgic grief, but umm, you were purposefully bringing me to a shitty coffee place?”

Matty smiled, his reminiscent bubble popping instantly. He shook his head. “It’s shit in a good way. You know when somethings so bad that it’s actually kinda good?”

“Nope. No, sorry, I do not.” The coffee snob in her finding his logic unacceptable.

He chuckled, taking her hand in his and resuming their walk once again. “C’mon. Let’s keep walking. We’ll find something eventually.”

***

“Do you like Manchester?” He looked down at her face. The rain had finally stopped, so he closed the umbrella, using his now free arm to keep her close to him as they walked on.

“You know what? I think I do, actually. Plus, you seem to love it, and I like seeing you so happy.”

“Think I’d like to raise my kids here.” Matty blurted out, unthinkingly.

“You-you think about having kids?”

“Yeah, I mean….you know. Someday. Don’t you?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, me too. I guess I just didn’t realize you were thinking about stuff like this- like, where you’d raise them.”

“Can’t help it. When I’m here, it’s kind of all I want.”

She felt a warm and fuzzy tingle in her stomach at the thought of Matty raising his kids in the place that had brought him up. She thought it was sweet that he’d considered something like that.

Matty had seen something that made him stop right away. She hadn’t realized it until she felt his arm pull her back like an anchor, and when she turned around to see what he was looking at, she noticed the posters herself.

“Wow…record shop?”

“No, it’s a club actually.”

“Look! The Arctic Monkeys.” She giggled, pointing to the poster, having noticed that The 1975’s own ILWYS poster was hanging just a few rows below.

“You think you’re teasing me, but I’m genuinely an Arctic Monkeys fan so, I don’t mind.” Matty laughed.

“Yeah, you’re probably the only person who doesn’t hate their new album.”

“Hey! No slagging off my boy, Alex.”

“Did you just…call Alex Turner ‘your boy’ ?” She shook her head.

“Don’t care what Twitter says. He and I get on and I think their song ‘Perfect Sense,’ is fucking mint.”

“Alright, well, we’ve been walking for like an hour and I still don’t have coffee. Can we please go to Starbucks now?”

***

They sat on the bench by the river, sipping their coffee and enjoying watching the birds land and dip into the water for a drink.

When Matty turned to look into her eyes, he noticed that she was shivering. Quietly, he took off his long, black coat and wrapped it around her, laughing to himself at the sight of her being swallowed whole by the fabric.

“Thank you, babe.” She kissed his hand.“Where’d you get this coat, anyway?”

“Stole it off the wardrobe department. Patricia found it for a photo shoot, but I liked it too much to let it go, so…”

“So, I’m wrapped up in stolen goods is what you’re telling me.”

“But doesn’t the fabric feel really nice, though?”

“I….can’t lie, it does.” She conceded, closing her eyes and enjoying the whiff of Matty’s cologne that flooded her senses when a gust of air rattled the coat around her body.

“If you’re too cold, we could just go home.”

“No, please. I’m having the best afternoon. Let’s stay for a little while.”

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tiredjust1 · 5 months

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i love your kim x roxie art!! i’ve sent almost all of them to my gf and said “us?” bc we love that ship, do you have any advice for drawing characters interacting? i wanna start drawing art of kim x roxie myself for my gf since not a lot of people make art of them but im just really bad at drawing people hugging or kissing or anything like that

THANK YOU!!!!! THAT’S SO CUTE IM GLAD YOU AND YOUR GF CAN BOND OVER MY WORK!!!

And yes absolutely!! I’m gonna be using my newest post as an example since they’re pretty close in proximity. I hope this can be helpful!

So whenever I try to draw poses where two characters interact or just generally more complicated poses, I like to scribble out a very messy sketch of how the pose vaguely looks like. Example:

Fyi this is like a one minute doodle just so I can get my idea on paper. I like to do this so that I’m able to actually remember what the pose looks like in my mind since it tends to get warped a lot throughout the process. By getting the fresh idea on paper, I can look back at it and get a reminder of what I was vaguely imagining earlier!

After doing so, I start with the actual proper sized sketch which is much more refined because I get a makeshift reference for where everything goes already thanks to the thumbnail. With this, I can focus on drawing the actual pose without having to worry where things would go since I already figured that out! Now I just to form out a coherent and clean form with this blob of “clay”

As you can tell a lot of my process is just refining smaller details from bigger pieces!

I should also add that generally using actual references is the best way to do this but if you want to put your characters in poses that don’t have online references then you could use this method, or better yet, take pictures of yourself in the position and use those as reference!

I just wanna put this one that I like to call “the catfight sheet” which was just a bunch of random messy fighting poses I scribbled out very quickly when I was strongly hit by many ideas at once!

As you can see, they’re tiny, they’re messy, and they’re bad, but that’s ok!!! It really doesn’t need to look good at first since it basically acts as a reminder for when you draw the full piece. Such as this one where I used the first scribble as reference:

This was fun to draw as you can tell

Anyways I hope my rambling was helpful and comprehensible! Thank you for asking and I hope breaking down my process like this helps you out in the future for when you draw for your gf!!!

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a-valourous-choice · 2 months

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To Rebuild A Home - Chapter One

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: death mention, food mention, anxiety and negative thoughts. Edited by: @winterwynd

Also available on Ao3 here.

-----

“Okay, let me get one more for your grandparents. Big smile!”

Patton was awarded another cheesy grin as he took another photo of Thomas. “Darn.” He cursed under his breath when a pop up announced that the memory card was full and would not allow any more pictures unless he deleted a couple.

Patton had even broken out the proper camera for the occasion, much better than the blurry phone.

He really had to upload the images to a computer or get them printed. It was something he had been putting off for quite some time though, as he knew the camera contained some of the last ever snapshots of his wife.

“Oh well,” Patton said, returning the lens cap. “We got a lot of great photos!”

He was just sad that he hadn’t been able to get any of Virgil and Thomas together before Virgil had bolted out the front door.

“I wanna see, please and thank you!” Thomas insisted, making a grab for the camera but Patton held it just out of reach.

“Later kiddo,” he chuckled. “It’s time to go into class now.”

Even though Patton was the one who said it, the words still cut through him like a knife. His youngest child, his smallest baby, was about to start kindergarten.

He could feel the tears coming on.

“Actually.. Thomas, are you sure you want to go to school this year?” Patton said. He had no issues holding Thomas back if it meant he got to have more time with him.

Miss López, Thomas’s teacher, wandered over at that moment, seeming to be no stranger to the nervous parent. “Don’t worry Mr. Sanders,” she said. ‘Thomas and I are sure to have a great time, aren’t we?” she smiled at Thomas who nodded.

“Yeah!” Thomas said.

“It is time for him to head inside and join the other children now though,” Miss López told Patton gently.

“Okay.” Patton took a deep breath, the other tearful parents walking past were not helping. “Have a wonderful day, Thomas.” He bent down to hug his son. “I’ll be back to-”

“Bye, Daddy!” Thomas said and ran into his classroom.

Oh. Well, okay then.

Miss López giggled behind her hand. “Don’t take offense, Mr. Sanders,” she said. “I think adults have a much harder time adjusting than the children do.”

“It sure seems that way,” Patton said, straightening up. “I guess I’ll see you this afternoon Miss López.”

“Please call me Vanessa.”

“Okay, Vanessa,” Patton said. “Have a nice day.”

With my son…while I wallow in my sadness…

“You, too.”

Patton thought about those two words as he trudged back to his car. How was he supposed to have a pleasant day when his youngest son didn’t seem to care for his absence, and his eldest barely acknowledged his existence?

Truthfully though, it wasn’t Thomas he was concerned about. Patton knew that Thomas had just been excited to start school and he was sure that he still loved his dad, but Virgil on the other hand…

Patton could remember Virgil’s first day of kindergarten - how unlike Thomas he had been; a tiny ball of nerves clinging to his dad’s legs that had needed to be coaxed into the fray by his teacher.

Virgil had once relied so heavily on his dad for protection and comfort, but nowadays it felt as though they barely spoke to one another. It wasn’t for lack of effort on Patton’s part though, it was just that every attempt he made was met with contempt and resistance.

Patton slid into his car, wondering what he could do to repair the damage between himself and Virgil.

He sat idly for a while before coming to the conclusion that he should go visit his parents. With both kids in school, Patton had no desire to be alone today; besides, his folks were clever people, maybe they’d have a solution to his problem.

-----------

“You have no idea how wonderful it is to have you home.” Patton’s father Ethan said as he handed over a cup of coffee. Patton definitely had some notion; one of the best things about moving back into his hometown was getting to reconnect with his family again.

“I missed you guys, too.” Patton said, and Ethan lightly patted his son’s cheek.

Harmony, Patton’s mother, was flipping through the photos on Patton’s camera with a wide smile on her face. “Thomas is so adorable,” she said. “Are you sure you don’t want me to print these for you?” “No,” Patton said. “I’ll get around to it, eventually.”

“Alright, dear.” Harmony sighed. “Such a shame you couldn’t get Virgil in any of them, but I suppose he’s going through his teenage rebellion stage, isn’t he?” Patton took a small sip of his coffee. “If you want to call it that,” he said. “I think it was because of me that he didn’t want his picture taken though.” If Thomas had asked then it would have been a different story; Virgil did just about anything Thomas requested of him.

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked.

“He’s just so angry at me,” Patton said. “I know he didn’t want us to move but I didn’t think he’d hate me for it. I thought he’d at least be excited to live closer to you both.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Harmony said soothingly. “You know what teens can be like.”

“This is different.” Patton was no stranger to Virgil’s teenage mood swings, but this animosity Virgil currently had towards his dad was something new entirely.

“Well,” Ethan began carefully. “He has been through something traumatic, more so than any of us could even begin to understand. Perhaps he is just struggling with those emotions and is unfairly lashing out at you.”

“Maybe.” Patton said, unconvinced.

“Have you thought about a therapist?” Harmony suggested.

Patton would be lying if he said that he hadn’t considered it, but he just couldn’t see Virgil bonding with a total stranger. “I don’t know,” he said. “He doesn’t really trust anyone these days, I don’t know if a therapist could get through to him.”

“It’s worth a shot.” Ethan said. “Tell you what, your mother and I will look around, see if we can find anybody we think is suitable and we’ll let you know, okay?”

“You don’t have to-”

“Patton, let us help.” Harmony said firmly. “You’re dealing with a lot too - navigating your own grief while getting the boys through theirs, you have to remember that you’re not alone in this.”

“In any case a therapist would be good for all three of you,” Ethan added.

Patton felt his shoulders sag - whether with relief or defeat, he wasn’t sure. “Okay,” he said. “Thank you.” As a parent himself, Patton was well aware that it was Harmony and Ethan’s duty to assist whenever they could, but he still sincerely appreciated it.

“No need for that,” Harmony said. “It’s what we’re here for.”

“There was something else I wanted to discuss with you,” Ethan said after a short pause. “Have you figured out what you’re planning to do for work?”

Patton exhaled slowly. That was a tough question.

Patton and his wife had previously owned a store together but after…. everything that had happened, he had sold it; the money he had received for it had been enough to buy his new house, but it also meant that he was without an ongoing source of income.

“I was thinking of going back to school.” Patton admitted. “Even though I know it isn’t possible, with the boys and needing some money in between.”

“School?” Harmony echoed. “As in veterinary school?”

Patton shrugged shyly. It was a pipe dream, of course, but ever since he was a child he had dreamed of being a veterinarian; unfortunately, becoming a father at a young age had forced him to drop out - and now that he was a single father those plans were to be put on hold perhaps indefinitely.

He’d never blame Virgil or Thomas, he loved his sons more than anything in the entire world, but sometimes he wished that he could be both; a great dad and a successful veterinarian.

However, he wasn’t sure he could be either these days.

Forcing himself out of his tangled web of a brain, Patton noticed his mother and father staring at each other with unreadable expressions on their faces. “Are you okay?” Patton said.

Harmony gave a small nod and Ethan shuffled forward, placing his hand over Patton’s. “Is that what you truly want?”

“I’d love it.”

“It would take a long time,” Ethan said, “and many sacrifices and effort on your part.”

Patton was unsure of what was happening, hadn’t he just said that he couldn’t afford to do it? “I know.”

“As long as you’re aware of that,” Ethan squeezed Patton’s hand comfortingly before letting go. “Then your mother and I will help you.”

It took some time for the words to fully sink in. Patton stared wordlessly at his father before he managed to blurt out, “what are you saying?”

“Look, I need some extra hands at the cafe,” Ethan said. “If you and Virgil work for me then Harmony and I will pay for you to go back to school and finish your degree - this way you can take time off whenever you need to and still pay the bills.”

“I’d also be happy to babysit Thomas whenever you need someone.” Harmony chimed in.

Patton felt tears stinging the corner of his eyes. Gosh, he loved them.

Patton had been Ethan and Harmony’s miracle; the only child they’d been able to conceive after years of trying, and due to that, he had always had an extremely close bond with his parents… but he was quite sure that he had never felt as grateful for them as he did in this moment.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” he said.

“You’re not asking,” Harmony replied. “We’re telling you.”

“But I-”

“Patton,” Ethan interjected kindly. “I know what it feels like to be passionate about something, almost like an itch you can’t scratch until you go after it.”

Patton knew that Ethan was telling the truth; his father’s biggest love had always been cooking. Ethan had worked as a chef for a long time - even opening a cafe in his later years - so it was possible that he knew better than anyone what Patton was feeling.

“You would be doing us a favor.” Harmony insisted. “Ethan would be able to be with me more often.”

“That’s a good point.” Ethan said, stroking his chin. “I have seen the way Herbert looks at you during bingo, if I’m at work too much then he might make his move and steal you away.”

Harmony snorted.

Patton watched them through watery eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything.” Ethan smiled. “We just want to see you and our grandchildren happy again, that’s our biggest concern.”

Patton agreed with that.

Fixing his family was of the utmost importance to Patton and he had always thought that it had to start with Virgil…but maybe he had gotten it all wrong.

Maybe the best way Patton could repair their little trio was to start with mending himself.

----- Taglist: (please message me if you wish to be taken off/added on) @violets-gay-thoughts @warcats-cat @firefox2215 @shapa-likes-art @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

#patton sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders (character)

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thegoldenshi-shi · 11 months

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So, I have been busy making poor monetary choices again, in which I now own two different types of tablets specifically for art (ONE WAS VERY MUCH ON SALE, THE OTHER HAD A 50 BUCK COUPON, BOTH GOOD REVIEWS), and the first tablet I bought, that's honestly just a way of adding a touchscreen to a computer to me, cause like. It's a sensor pad? Well, it's proving that I can't mentally make myself apply a lot of pressure to technology, which my younger self with a ruined dsi touch screen would gape at. I have also gotten all my shelving units up! Not sure if they're staying where they are, or if I'm gonna move them around again, but I do know two that are staying where they are, mainly cause I am /not/ lifting that shelf all the way back up to chest level to take it back down again. Nuh uh, no ma'am, it will not be done. It's also gotten all my collectibles on it already, which has proven that I need to devote more of my budget to the Twins than Screamer. My frenemesis would be delighted to see my failure to my simpees.

Work has been better! Still hot, but we've slowed /way/ down, which means my supervisor has been letting me goof off on my phone or writing, cause we physically can't work too hard in the heat, but we also have no orders anyway, so... And because we've been able to get paid Not Working, I have gotten back into a werewolf story I started writing months ago! I'm setting it up one shot style rn, and posting the chapters as my brain accepts my pleading for their creation, but I also intend to make it a full and proper story once I've worked all the one shots out. I will openly admit to it being complete self service, cause I want a best friend who's 8 feet tall, fluffy, and has a crappy sense of humor. And is a cuddle monster, though that one is mainly cause I love glomming full force onto my people and displaying my awkward affection. I'm like a peacock, but instead of flaring tail feathers, I hug people in front of other people, whilst not actually really knowing socially accepted norms for hugging friends, tbh.

I also went through and completely reorganized my phones gallery, and got a very stupid laugh outta it. I have 461 transformers related pictures, and almost 400 writing prompts. Just. Saved on my phone. If I ever lose this sim card my writing career that i don't actually have will be over. On another other note semi related, I have been asked to design a friends tattoo! I don't know if I mentioned that in my last ask. He asked me to draw him a dragon to get tattooed, which, to be fair, dragons are among one of the very scant things I can draw well reliably, but also, dragon proportions curled into a ball sleeping are kicking my ass, and I am debating getting out my giant sketchpad to be able to completely control every tiny eetsy beetsy detail, cause my close friend wants me to do this thing that will permanently be on his body, and I really desperately don't wanna mess it up... Cause like. No one has ever asked me to ///draw/// for them before. I've gotten asked to paint, or do some small stuff with watercolors, but never /drawing/. And he knows I love dragons, it's part of why he asked. I just. It's a thing that happened that made me really happy, like hide in my pillow crying happy tears happy.

And then, on the fifth, I found an exactly 8 year old video of my childhood dog that we had to put down... it was from the summer before he was put down, which happened during the school year. He had been all that I'd had growing up, so, it hit kinda hard seeing something of him that moved. Even after 8 years, I still cry every time I think about him. He was the best dog any little kid could've ever been raised with, and probably helped boost my immune system against my allergies to boot, hehe. I cried for like, two hours, cause it was a video taken 7/5/2015. And, I thought I had lost all my images of him. It was a happy thing, just. A very sad type of happy. I wish I could tell him that I did love him, even if I didn't wanna lay on the ground and cuddle like he preferred. He was a dog that was born old, haha, never wanted to play or bark, he just wanted to lay on you and be loved. I was always running around on imaginary adventures though, but I did love him. If I was upset, he was my safe place. I promise this is a happy thing, it's just that I'm gonna be legally allowed to drink soon, and sometimes I forget that it's been so long since I got to see him. Especially cause sometimes, I still have dreams about playing with him in our backyard, right next to a giant pine tree covered in cicada sheds, laughing as he dug a little groove to lay in under the old rusted out trampoline. He was the most patient, tolerant dog, and it's because of him and the cat he raised with me that I'm not afraid of so much anymore. Ma and dad weren't there when we had him, but... I'll admit to giving them up forever if it meant I got to have him back

~Smooch

Hello there Smooch~

Sleeping babee dragon sounds so cute! I've never designed a tattoo, so I can only imagine the pressure (and of course the touching part of him asking you to draw his tattoo design).

Interestingly enough I too spent a loooong period of time where drawing was a dragon-only zone. I think it was back in like middle school? If you're struggling with a traditional four-legged two winged dragon, have you considered another type? There's Asian Lung dragons, Wyverns, Wyrms, or even a Quetzalcoatl style dragon that can all be very cool and might be easier for you to draw as a sleepy loaf. If your friend doesn't have a strong preference of course.

How exciting, on sale art supplies. It's kinda hard to decide sometimes between art supplies and if you're new to it, it's not a BAD idea to try multiple different types and/or brand names until you find what you like. I own two different art devices, one Wacom Intuos bought in High School and a Huion art monitor bought like four years ago. I was a traditional artist at the time I bought the Intuos tablet, so I quickly found that I prefer drawing on an actual screen I can look at instead of drawing on a tablet, BUT I had to try the tablet first to know that. What that all amounts up to is I hope you like one if not both of them ^J^ It's good to hear that your job is calming down. I'm sure that you're enjoying having the down time to work on your creative pursuits. At the risk of sounding too much like a hippie art teacher, I say it's very important to have some sort of creative outlet in your life. So it's wonderful to hear that you're getting to write on your werewolf story. I send you my best wishes that your muse stays nice and cooperative for the whole process hehe.

And lastly: The bittersweet memory of a good pet that has passed is something that I feel blessed to have as well. I hope that you can continue to enjoy your memories of a good animal without being bogged down in the sadness of their passing.

It's good to hear from you again Smooch, glad to hear you are doing well~

#smooch anon #thank you for your ask though!#and good luck with your artistic endeavors #the sleepy baby in the middle is my design for Quetzalcoatl #other two are rando drago though #I just wanted to include some art for you #I replied a little out of order I know #the dragon art just had my antennae up #I hate that I didn't get around to this in a quicker fashion #lots going on at work

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bosskie · 2 months

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Molluck in Leather

Man, I don't know how long I have been thinking about drawing Molluck in leather but it's probably been over a year... And I just had to draw it now. I started this at night and ruined my sleep rhythm, again... Just had to force myself stop drawing and I finished this later today. It was that leather jacket that took me so many hours... I have no idea how to draw leather, so it was like 'trial and error' like stuff... I wish to draw a proper version of this in colour, so this was a practice sketch thing. I got new colour pencils now since I didn't have proper ones for black paper. I haven't tested them yet but I got plenty of drawing ideas inside my head.

I do call pretty much everything a sketch that ain't rendered in a detailed and 'proper' way. A sketch can take me 5 hours but if I did a full piece out of it, it could take 10-20 hours more, so it probably makes sense why it's a sketch for me. Man, I used to do so detailed line art, shade with doing those little dots, do patterns... I kinda just couldn't stand my line art without much details, though it's still like that... I could give that style a try with fineliners. I wish that I had more time to draw since I kinda don't have time to draw but I wanna draw so badly and it makes me feel better. I basically started to draw this to calm down, gather my thoughts; drawing helps me to clear my mind.

But yes, I have just been thinking that black leather would suit Molluck. I'm not sure about his necklace but I wanted to try it out. I also thought that he could have his chest visible since he got nothing to hide there! I know that there are some flaws still but I tried my best. It felt like I l still earned new thing about Molluck's shapes while drawing this... His head is full of fine details! His expression is pretty random, didn't feel like redoing it. Oh, and now thinking this more, a leather jacket could make sense since maybe there could be some use for the skins of the animals/creatures butchered at his farm.

I don't know if there is more to say. I have been just having so many doubts related to myself and my stuff... I kinda also started drawing this to check if I can (still) really draw... Sometimes, it can just feel like maybe my skills have disappeared, maybe I have forgotten everything, because I don't really trust my own skills, don't even feel like I draw well... Man, mind can be so odd and twist things into so absurd thoughts... But they still feel real, even if I knew that it was just my mind's trick again...

And yeah, I don't feel like submitting anything to that OWI's 'fan celebration' thing since I feel like I got nothing proper to submit, been just doing mainly sketches and I'm not a fan of my 'proper' pieces... My whole blog is 'an Oddworld creation' I could submit but well, just too much stuff for them to check out. I wouldn't also feel good if they did a video about my stuff... I would just love to hear Lorne talking about Molluck but everything else... It just gives me anxiety and my impostor syndrome would bloom...

I just tend to feel embarrassed of my own skills... I have so much to learn, been drawing too little... I drew much more about a decade ago. Only if I had more time but this is a good start already since I barely drew anything last year; I have already drawn more this year! It has been also a big step to finally start using those unused art supplies I have had for so many years... Still got some more recently, like an eraser pencil. It's been very useful, something I really wanted to find! I should try to use some proper graphite pencils and stuff too since I have been doing these pencil sketches with a mechanical pencil and erasers. Just so much stuff to try out, man... I got like two packs of graphite stuff; yeah, should put them in use too...

Oh, and I'm sorry for the quality of these traditional things. Sometimes, I get a better picture but sometimes, it's just terrible... But I try to edit these as well as I can, and yes, sometimes I also like to add some colours digitally or do some fixes.

#molluck #oddworld molluck #molluck the glukkon #oddworld #art like a bosskie

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yakeisoda · 3 months

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Hello, just wanna start this off by saying that I love your art. I've decided to ask my favourite artists for art tips as I wanna get into it, but no matter what I do it never looks right. So, any tips?

HELLO TYSM!!! ngl i dont think im the best 4 this question im also kinda in a rut rn where im not really satisfied w my art n craving more progress and improvement but im getting there somewhat but very slowly! (ive been this way for a rly long time naow) this might be long but im gna try n throw in the things ik, sorry if my thoughts r messy im not the best in articulating stuff :')

i think a good way to start off is to find out what skill you lack the most or what you want to improve the most on, say for ex: u wna focus on getting better at composition for illustrations, then a good way to improve them is to learn about the composition rules (ex: rule of 3rds, etc), look for any scenes in films/animation or photographies and storybooks , study them and recreate it! go crazy !! ive done a study on a friend's picture before, and have asked my friends if i can use their photographies as practice!

looking for inspiration will also improve ur visual library, they can help u find what u wna put in ur art ! like perhaps certain color palettes or styles, it's best to look at different mediums of art instead of focusing only on one, sometimes u can find techniques meant 4 u! (ex: of this is my friend who used to be a watercolor artist, ive observed them using watercolor techniques when they were still new to digital art! basically mix n match whatever feels good/convenient 4 u :] )

disciplining urself is also good to have more improvement! i have trouble w this the most ever since bc its hard 2 focus if no one is like there to monitor u (in my experience), if u rly wna make progress u have to squeeze in some art practice time in ur schedule, it can be around 15-30 mins or even 3 hrs, completely up to you! (rmb to take breaks!). you can give urself deadlines if that will help n maybe timers too!

my prof always said "Proper practice makes perfect", so it's also best to practice with a clear goal in mind, take notes on the things u lack and if ur watching any art tutorials/speedpaints, take notes of those too! it's good to have something specific in mind so u wont get lost n u wud know what u wna do! it helps u retain info as well so u can look back on stuff, to avoid overwhelming urself u can just focus on small bits first, ex: in anatomy, u can focus on the head area first, break it down to drawing eyes and noses, etc! then u can move onto the torso area!

USE REFS!!!! make use of pinterest or any other refs u can find, cannot stress this enuf go crazyyy w references, make a moodboard full of referencess n go crazzyy w them!! i used to not like doing this bc i just head straight in to drawing bc thats what i was used to but art college trained me 2 use refs bc they help so very much, theyre like ur guideline for what u wna make so u have a clear goal in mind, also photobashing seems like a great practice too never tried it but yes it can help when ur planning an illustration/concept art!

^above also applies to art styles! go crazy n experiment w them!! i think its so very fun to explore diff art styles n not stick to 1, again this depends on u but having a different range of artworks is rly fun, u can go from very pastel soft colors n style, to smth very vibrant n sharp, to smth like dark n chalky-sketchy kind of vibe if im making sense T__T, basically go wild!! go crazy!! dont let urself sit in 1 box! hop into other boxes !! or wear all of them!! or poke holes in the box n add stuff to the box or wear a circle!! trust me it looks so fun if u put different artworks uve made side by side n go wow i did that!!

also create small thumbnails 4 illustration! its really best to plan ahead art too, as i said i used to just head straight in n not plan but ive learned to absolutely enjoy planning making art! collecting refs n seeing what kind of composition goes n what colors wud work is so very fun actually! it rly helps a lot

theres also this one post i lost the link, but basically it shows how much progress u can make if u make loose sketches vs full on rendered illustrations vs a mix of both, again this depends entirely on u bc things r different for everyone! i think that post is really good for teaching abt art progress (if any1 knows where it is pls do link!), i think focusing on sketches n practice is better tho bc it helps u draw more freely n loosely! i think that speeds up ur process more as well n doesnt make u lose interest immediately compared 2 focusing on finishing 1 big rendered illust (talking from experience) but then again its different for every1 so honestly just experiment n see what feels right for u!

i wna say tho that although it is good to make sure ur drawing looks right its also good to just let yourself draw freely, i think what matters is that u understood the structures of something and as long as ur able to apply that in ur own way i think thats gud! i think drawing freely helps u draw more fluidly? like having more expression is what i mean. ive gotten into the "i have 2 make this look right" hole before n i noticed it made my art look stiff, so highlyy recommend doing gesture drawing n life studies! rmb to have fun when practicing n learning,

dont pressure urself too much! enjoy the experience :] ! messy sketches r good!! not everything has to look good or perfect! my sketchbooks from way back were just doodles, pencil sketches no color mostly, theres an occasional lined one w markers , ballpen, n some highlighters, n my drawings were either smth funny that happened w me n frens with our personas or making ocs for my faves or ocs for me in general!

ur sketchbook doesnt have to look pretty its like ur diary but its art ykno! ur thoughts in visual form for the day! (again all up to u as long as u have fun! its all different 4 everyone!)

anw tysm again!! sorry if this was all over the place HAHSAW i tried my best but these r the tips i keep in mind most of the time or the ones i hold closest to me n that i try to apply as much as i cud! if u need anything else clarified just lmk! not the best w words but hopefully it helps :'')! most of the stuff i mentioned here i also need to take into practice HAHWHAW so mb its gud 4 me to write this down so i can finally push myself to do stuff,

#but yeah as ive mentioned go crazy!!#have fun with ur art! thats what matters the most #the bond ull have w ur art will b so precious! pls take care of it!#makes me think of my relationship w my art rahh being in art college kinda ruined it bc of the pressure im trying to rebuild it as much #as i can bc art means sm 2 me!!#i wish u luck on ur art journey anon may we have fun learning art n achieve our goals!#ask tag #anon #this is making me reminisce old times #hope this helps!! i was jumping each part so yea sry again if its messy #art advice #? HAHSHAW i am not the best w this tho im still learning !! always learning anything specific like anatomy help i cannot #but things like these i think i can?? HAHSHDA #also sry if this is like the same things every1 has said before but its true!!!! they r right!#nowadays ppl have a lot of access to knowledge compared 2 before so make use of em!! lots of art tutorials around

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summerlovingbaby · 2 years

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Stone Cold

“ We’re almost there.” Kirishima spoke. “ Almost there, and then we could radio for help and get you warm.”

“ Uh-huh.” she whimpered quietly.

Kirishima had been dragging her for about 2 miles in what felt like 10 feet of snow, and was prepared to drag her 4 more if that meant getting her to safety.

They had a mission, and to say it went south was a understatement. They were ambused, and there was someone with a quirk who could make it snow, and Y/N’s quirk was not suited for the cold. She took some pretty bad blows and had a cut running down the outside of his leg,and was unable to walk on her own.

Both their comms went dead, the sudden snowstorm putting them in a dead zone. Kirishima had come out realitively unscathed and had managed to fight off all the villians, and the ones who didn’t fled the area, leaving the two of them stranded in the middle of a blizzard.

“ You gotta stay awake.” Kirishima said, shaking her slightly causing her eyes to flutter open.

“ Sorry.” she slurred. “ M’ really sorry. I’m just tired.” That was the first sentence she had managed to string together in about a mile.

“ I know.” he said. All they had to do, was get to the cell tower, then radio their location and Y/N would be alright. “ I know.”

Y/N’s body got heavier with with every single step, and as much as he hated to admit it to himself, she was getting harder to carry. But he was a hero, and today he had to be her hero. He spent years training to be a hero, and if he couldn’t even save the woman that saved his life countless times, then who was he besides some worthless kid, who had a stupid quirk.

Y/N thought he was anything but worthless, she actually thought he was kind of cute, in the great Dane type of way. He was loyal and protective, which was something Y/N admired. He was kind and sweet and brought her chocolate chop muffins when she was sad. He had the kind of laugh that made other people want to smile too, He was a great hero in every way that he could be a hero, and strived to be the best person, even though he was the best person that Y/N ever got to know and would ever get to know.

“ Did I do a good job?” she whispered.

“ You did a great job.” he whispered, trying to get a better grasp on Y/N.

“ I wanna be a hero.” she added. “ I wanna be a real good one.”

Y/N had wanted to be a hero, as long as she knew what the word hero meant. And she spent every single second trying to make sure she was the best damn good hero.

Eijiro thought she was the best hero, and he couldn’t tell if he admired her or loved her. Probably some sweet combonation of both. He could spend hours looking at her, because she was that damn pretty. It was like she stepped out of the most perfect picture. Her eyes were always so honest and told him everything that he needed to know. That she was sweet great and wonderful. And Kirishima wanted his share of sweet great and wonderful.

“ You’re a good hero.” Eijiro replied. “ A real good one.”

“ You think?” she said, finding the urge to llift up her head. Then she suddeny dropped it, like she had the wind knocked out of her. “ I don’t feel good.” she whispered.

“ I know.” he said. “ I know. I’m real proud of you.”

He could feel her body stop shivering from the cold, that wasn’t good, her knees began to buckle and she suddnely became very aware of how much she weighed, and how tired she was.

“ Baby, don’t do that, just stay strong for a little longer.”

He just called her baby? A little frueudon slip.

His hands felt numb as her knees buckled and she collapsed in the embankment of snow beneath her, she was very tired, really really tired. Her eyelids felt heavy and droopy, and she was warm, which to her was a nice change of pace, and to him, was quite possibly his worse nightmare.

“ M’ not cold anymore.” she whispered. “ Is that a good thing?”

“ Yeah... yeah... it’s a real good thing.” he lied. She was going to die. She was going to die right here and now, and he was never going to get the chance to take her out on a proper date.

She was now laying on her back on the snow, and her lips were covered with a subtle blue hue. Her finertips felt like icecubes despite the fact that she was wearing gloves, she looked so damn happy it was irritating to him, because that smile was so cold it was distant.

“ Can I tell you something?” she managed. It was getting hard for her to breathe in this frigid air, but she didn’t even feel it.

“ Yeah, yeah anything.” he begged, hoping if he could get her talking long enough she could stay awake until help arrived. They had to be close by now, even if they didn’t it make it to the tower, someone had to find them. The question was, was it going to be before Y/N froze to death.

“ I think you’re handsome.” she muttered. “ And I want you to ask me out to dinner or something.”

“ Thanks. I think your pretty.” he said,his eyes welling up with tears. “ You’re the prettiest girl, you know that?” he asked and she struggled to nod. “ And when you get home, there gonna make you feel all better, and then I can take you out on a proper date.” he added.

“ I’m gonna die, aren’t I?” Y/N asked sweetly.

“ I hope not.” he replied. “ They’re gonna come any minute now, and get you all warmed up.”

She took a especially long blink and took a very long, deep breath.

“ Ei.”

“ Yeah.”

“ I’m really tired.” she muttered.

“ I know baby, you just gotta stay awake, a little while longer.” he whispered, he forced himself to look up, pretending to look for the airplane, but it really was so the last thing she saw, wasn’t him crying.

He was supposed to be her hero, and she was gonna freeze to death due to his own icomptence and inablity to be a good hero. She was gonna die, in the cold, and the last thing that she was going to see was the man who failed to save her crying because he was pathetic.

“ I’m really sorry.” she whispered. “ Sorry for never asking you out, and I’m sorry for dying, I really didn’t mean to.”

“NO...NO... YOU DON’T GET TO DO THAT, YOU DON’T GET TO DIE ON ME.” he yelled.

Her eyes were fluttering shut and her smile started to drop, he could feel her body, which she was holding close to her chest starting to grow weak. She was glad that the last thing she was gonna see was the man that she knew she loved.

“ Please, don’t die on me.” he begged.

He laid down next to her agaist his better judgement. His chest was starting to ache and his head felt heavy. Against his better juudgemnt he let himself close his eyes, he just wanted one last minute to be with her before he had to leave her, she deserved that. He at the least deserved it.

He woke up four days later, to the steady but annoying beeping of a heart monitor. The light was nearly blinding, and the air around him felt warm. Holy hell the hair around him was warm, he was warm.

He forced his eyes open and tried to sit up quickly, but that was harder than he thought, because even thinking of moving sent shooting pains through his chest and into his stomach, his vison was blurred.

Something was touching his hair, and he didn’t like it. He wanted Y/N, he wanted to know if she was alive. He wanted Y/N to touch his hair, and he needed to get up and go find her. The blood was pumping in his ears so quickly that he couldn’t hear the sound of her soothing voice.

But the something touching his hair, wasn’t so much a something but a someone, he could feel soothing fingertips carding through his hair. He could recongnize that soothing touch anywhere.

He forced himself to blink a few times tp clear his vison and forced himself to breathe so he could hear something but the beeping, he turned his head to the side, and there she was in all her not dead not frozen glory, looking down at him with a wide smile and a few stray tears streaming down her face.

“ Ei! Thank god you’re okay!”

“ So how about that date huh?” he managed to whipsper through a strained voice.

“ How about it?”

taglist

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@ great-goddess-of-sin @bitchyzombienacho @polpoe

@lovemegood @eijiandkatspebble @luna670 @nealearts @bittersw33t-lotus @therapy-arts-blog @thenerdygirl111 @sil-ver-shadow @chscklvr

@itshemlock @5sos-wdw @stupidfool69 @esposadomd

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seawherethesunsets · 1 year

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It was a slowburn for sure.

His friend!! Meanwhile it's fun to see his smiley face because of discovering the tension btw these two, I'm a lil bit sad about what he said after selling his car. Hope it won't get any deeper. I like their friendship, I need them to stay as one.

Yeah... there is a spark in his life. I'm slowly wondering what Dong Jin would look like when he is happy. I'm so used to see them serious or sad.

"don't like me" thing wasn't annoying! She regrets about her previous actions and is stressed about her new positive feelings building up for him. I like that these are the factors of her mixed actions! She puts a distance as well as does things in his favor. I can't find a proper way to explain it now but like... the confusion in the episodes were understandable for me. And yes it was also fun to watch Dong Jin reactions. Idk maybe I'm convinced well that this time it didn't annoy me seeing a main couple avoiding each other. Kdrama writers have a shitty timing preference for this type of situations.

the number of side characters/plots and episodes concern me. I don't want this drama to end up like Cheer Up. I genuinely hated to see all potentials getting wasted. I'm praying hard for a possibility that the writer(s) thought thoroughly about the direction of the scenario.

Coming to my experience with this week's episodes...

His ex's past and (seems like our permanent villain) old boss took a bit of space in this week's episodes meanwhile the main characters were busy with putting a distance.

Ex's past wasn't a waste of time, surprisingly. I liked and understood the reason perfectly since the drama did a great job showing how annoying and tiring Dong Jin's mom is for everyone. Dong Jin wanting to give more time for his gf for her sake and Minyoung misunderstanding this as reluctance on taking a step further... understandable.

Ending of ep7: her realization of her feelings. PERFECT. For her part, I loved the confusion and the long talk. Additionally, I loved Sung Joon's eyes in that scene. He delivered well and it was shot well. Those eyes were pretty! (Alexa, play 예뻤어)

Ending of ep8: his acceptance of his feelings. PERFECT. one "어" and lots of feelings on that face. I also liked his talk before this moment.

And it is cute that both characters lived that moment while they were alone with their close friends.

Ms. Baek!! She keeps getting my attention. I liked her small scene with Dong Jin. (Also remember how she got soft towards Woo Joo at one point?)

There are small plots winking at us. Woo Joo's sister takes some pills?.. Dongjin promised to go to camping (and we all saw that picture but unfortunately didn't see the SCENE yet)... Woo Joo's mom getting mentioned pretty often... Jun's confusing acting performances?.. (does he really act? which statements are he actually serious about?) There are some uninteresting ones, too. Like the old boss's revenge. I thought and hoped he would stop at one point but he's racing for the main villain role... Aaand I don't think we would have a fun time with Woo Joo's dead father's will? The less I see that woman, the better.

Hope there would be many good/fun things to mention next week!

frienddddddd the way you go off with all the detailssss i could neverrrr!!!!!

like you said, I too feel the main couple "avoiding" each other is very apt in this storyline. It's the way they wanna put distance but keep doing things against it like how woojoo sewed his button and told him she want to do it so dont stop her or lock the door aasdjkjfd. It doesn't feel frustrating or draggy yet (I just dont want it leaning that way soon >.<).

Yesss I really want to see more of the other characters mainly her sister and jun. There's a lot to explore so I hope they dont make the side characters get drowned unnecessarily. and i also picked that up about haesung supposedly taking pills???? 👀👀

everytime they show flashbacks I get more intrigued. I would think dongjin already talked to minyoung about his mom and how he's brought up. From the flashbacks, dongjin seemed to be quite emotionally stable despite his own baggage when he was with minyoung. It's understandable that minyoung would feel that him delaying to meet the parents as reluctance for the next step but the fact that she cheated for a year still doesnt sit right with me. Although, there might be possibilities that she fake cheated cos she didnt get married anyways and stayed in US alone.

OMG yes ms baek seems to be such a sweet person and she was also very accepting of woojoo when she joined because she can do her job. I like that she's always supportive and professional in a very subtle way.

i hope the mum rot in jail or somewhere and never bother anyone again like goshhhhhh. and his ex boss...in the next ep teaser he seems to be wanting to assault minyoung w a rock? like bruhhhhhhhh

im looking forward to the revival of best fairs after all they went through!

Have a great week ahead! cant wait for wednesdayyyy

#ask #call it love #❤️❤️❤️#im so sorry if i always dont give enough insights hahahah im so baddd #but i appreciate all the points you made like yes yes yes!!

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justanothercloudinthesky · 1 year

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Requests( 0/10) and Match-ups (12/12)

Hello All, I've had a blast doing these compatibility/ideal types headcanons, and I have decided that it might be fun to add matchups to the mix. I'm gonna state kinda my thought process with these so if you're able to read through it before leaving a request/matchup ask, I'd greatly appreciate it!

So, I really really wanted to open up match ups and requests and will leave details on each. On each of my platforms, I'll open 10 slots for requests, and 12 for match ups, I'll try to update how many slots are left, Due to working boarderline full time and being a full time student, I really can't afford to put more time into this hobby, even though I'd like to.

Guidelines:

I will try my very best to accommodate what fandoms are requested, as a general rule if I've written in the fandom before, I'll be good to write in it again. However if I don't have any works posted about it, you can ask, but please link a fandom I have written for as a second option.

since a whole heaping ton of these fandoms are high-school based, please take the request with either aged-up or aged-down assumption! I won't include anything NSFW in any of the responses.

Please avoid talking about triggering subjects, I'm fine if you mention your mental health but I realize that this is a neutral space, but if a request or match up involves anything super triggering? I'll either not address it or not write it all together. I'd like to keep high-key triggers out of this space.

-One last thing, I will not be highlighting sexuality or gender-identity in my writings. For similar reasons people have religious traumas, I've had traumas with people in the LGBTQ+ community. I will not be making any mean comments, but I also will not be taking any hate for it. I am of the firm belief that we are responsible for our own safe-spaces, and this is something I've put in place to keep this place safe for me. If this bothers you, I hope you find some place else that is a better fit for you.

Matchups:

Please leave these in my message or inbox, I tend to easily loose them if they are linked in comments!

What Details I need from you (and which ones i don't!):

-if you have a gender preference, please state so. but I won't usually include pronouns in the response, so please keep that in mind, I just don't want to mess it up, especially since I'm usually writing these late at night after work, so if I do mess it up, I don't wanna offend anyone.

- I'd love to know your love language, pet peeves, what you notice first in a friend/partner, and any little details that make you... you! clothing style if you'd like, taste in music, some hobbies if you want (and why you like them)

-Physical attributes usually won't contribute much to match-ups, but if you do include them I can add some more detailed (SFW) physically affection, or things that catch the characters attention/opinions. I don't really think pictures are necessary, so it won't really help the response if you include them

-if you'd like to include your beliefs, opinions on life and your living it. I'd like to get to know you a bit, so i can really create a detailed/realistic headcanon.

-if you'd like to stay anon that's fine, but please some identifier (emoji, nickname, favorite burrito ingredient, go to order at mcdonalds, who knows)

(For the one anon I have currently, I'll just put you as original anon)

-lastly, if you'd like. please specify if you'd like a list of what happens or a headcanon on how you fell for each other, if neither are specified, I'll plan to do a mix of both

Matchup responses will be tagged with #YourWeatherReport

Total Weather Reports Currently: 2 (with more to come, so bring your umbrella!)

Requests:

I will be taking up to 10 requests on each platform at a time,

-they can be AU based but please know those might take a little longer if I'm not as familiar with the subject matter, as I would want to do proper research on the topic. due to my current life style I might do requests out of order.

- I will only be doing x reader preferences as that's my writing specialty for now.

- There can be general headcanons as well, not linked to anything romantically. So if you could specify whether you want something as a general or as a reaction. (I.E. MHA love languages vs MHA boys and their SO love languages) I'd just frame/aim it differently, so please specify.

I think that's about it, Thank you for your patience, I'm really looking forward to this, if you have any questions or concerns at all, please message and I'll try to get back. Please note I'll also post my own things between requests/matchups, so it could take a little bit, but I'll try to let people know when it's finished drafts and going into editing!

#Don'tForgetYourUmbrella #cloudpassingby #x reader #guidelines #requests open #mha requests open #Haikyuu requests open #mha matchups #haikyuu matchups #matchups open #hq #mha x reader #bnha x reader #x reader matchups

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mbti-notes · 2 years

Text

Anon wrote: How are you? Could you type assess me? Hope I followed the instructions correctly. My conclusion was INTP with immature Ne-Si, however, I'd like to submit to you the reasoning behind my conclusion. Hope I did my homework correctly.

Ti – my decisionmaking process is to think “what is x? if x means y, what does that entail?”. For example, if I am confronted with a situation I think about what possible outcomes can I have? Do I desire those outcomes? How can I act on each of those possible scenarios? And then I analyze which one has the outcome I am more prepared to face. I do not like to be rushed into taking a decison too quick or without knowing all the variables necessary to decide what to do. It’s easy in theory, but in real life we never know if we know all the variables and there isn’t always time to investigate them. I like to formulate hypothesis and analyze them. Usually, I ask “what”, “who”, “how”, “why”, “where”, and “when” questions to do this. Or I think step by step, trying my best to break down the tasks into small chunks (I have executive dysfunction due to ADHD so it’s not always the easiest think ever). I

Te – That’d be similar to the way I described Ti. However, I must admit that I don’t have the best Te doms interest in changing the outside world if it’s not something that caught my attention.

Ne – I’ve read a lot of asked questions on your blog and I have no doubt I have underveloped but high Ne. Signs of unhealthy Ne – I am very willy nilly as you say, I frequently want to change my life or everything I am doing and I expect progress to come in quick leaps. I am not patient to put in the hard work to actualize things I really want. I have learnt a bit late that rules that apply to others also apply to me, in the best way possible. I jump from one thing to the next very often, and it’s very hard for me to learn consistency, but I am trying my best. Why? I think I just find it very challenging to focus on something for too long, something else always become the next new

I also have underdeveloped Ne because due to trauma and hardships I became too afraid to dream of a better life, a bit of a “should I try if there’s the change I am going to fail?” because I have failed many times, only to learn that I should confront my anxiety and try whatever I think it’s worth trying. It’s harder to practice though. But I don’t want my mental pictures to be just pictures, I want to live them in the real world, otherwise it’d be a wasted life. Nowadays I think of the job I want, learn skills to adapt to it, to complete my master’s degree and go after another, and also graduate in philosophy at some point. I’m also very impulsive. It may be a stereotype but I am also very prone to joke around the most uncomfortable situations, as a way to lighten up - sometimes I have this silly fear of not being taken seriously because of that.

Si – I find it very difficult to follow instructions or do things the proper way, this is a constant pattern in my life. Also whenever I am stressed, I keep googling illnesses, medicines I could take to feel better. When stressed, I also ruminate about the past and what I should’ve done or I keep trying to “fix” the past by getting fixated on it. The sense of doom never lasts because I am very prone to think “ok, now I am going to do things differently, I am still 27, I am not old”. Age has also creeped in – ever since I turned 27, I keep thinking I am too old to do the things I wanna do, even though I rationally know this is bullshit. On a positive light, I am not very ambitious, I just want to have a stable life in which I can provide for myself and a future family. My physical space is not ordely nor I care if it is ordely as long I can have a personal system to find the things I use the most (ordering by utility) and makes sense to me. I am also in a comfort zone because I am materially privileged and in my country this means I can study whilst my parents support me and that's a lot in my home country, argentina. I don’t have to worry about getting a job I don’t want and suck it up, so I usually don’t challenge myself – and this bothers me, because it may be a way of self-handcapping. I have been resisting to challenge my comfort position in life even though my head always tells me to do so because I have built nothing in my life, and I really want to. It’s like I am resisting to expose myself to the world beyond my comfort zone (some of it because of anxiety and catastrophizing multiple bad results), so I get stuck in a rut. I’ve been making some progress though, but I am not there yet and as I said on the Ne description, I expect things to happen quickly, almost like a miracle. So far I am convinced I have an unhealthy Ne-Si dynamics and that Ne is calling but I don’t know how to answer to it.

Fe – It’s not that I want to avoid being emotionally involved, it’s just hard. It’s not default for me put emotional investment on doing mundane tasks. It’s hard. I have social anxiety but I connect well with others online. I am not averse to people, I like to have fun just as much as the next person. I worry about being hated by others or if people will use my intimacy against me if we get too close. Like the Si description, it’s something I’ve been working on because it's also a reaction to trauma.

Ni – I have a tendency of getting stuck in my own head and talk to myself a lot there. Sometimes it is a representation of this world but slightly different, as some sort of internal dialogue. At the same time, this picture can change as I live reality and form new pictures, as I discover the pleasures of the outside world. The pictures changes according to the current moment of my life, according to the phase of life I am in. I don’t think I am a Ni user because there are loads of pictures – ie the job picture, the friends picture, intellectual hypothesis – that can quickly change according to evidence or good arguments – and a lot of those pictures are actually daydreams, as if I want reality to conform to whatever I am daydreaming. The content of those daydreams are usually scenarios I wish were real at the moment. I daydream to shape reality but also to avoid it.

Fi – I don’t like to open up about feelings. My feelings are mine. However, I am not a Fi user, even if sometimes I pursue random interests just because I just feel like doing it. Whenever I give advice to others, I usually tell them how I would solve a situation and I can emphatize more if it’s something I experienced myself. I did benefit every time I took care of myself by thinking on doing uncomfortable things (getting out of my comfort zone as a privileged person) for my personal growth.

Se – I sometimes overindulge sensory pleasures, especially when I am anxious, however I am not exactly pragmatic as a Se type would be. I can be really impatient as I mentioned on the Ne description though. Evidence for Se is really weak.

-----------------

You didn't follow the instructions properly. You're supposed to contrast at least two entire functional stacks, but you only did the INTP stack. You're supposed to respond, in detail, to every point in the guide for every function of the stack, but you didn't, so the examples remain too vague to be useful and mostly just reveal your misconceptions about the functions. It's also unclear why you included your random thoughts about the other functions without specifying the type and the stack position. You say you have difficulty following instructions, but it is a basic requirement here. I don't like to guess. The reason I'm very insistent that people follow the instructions and structure their profile properly is because I don't have time to sort out everyone's details for them, and I can't achieve certainty without the info I ask for.

I can only offer the following comments:

1) You seem to be lagging in ego development, which means that you suffer from low self-awareness. It's likely that you're merely presenting a version of yourself that isn't close enough to the truth.

2) I don't think you have a good enough handle on your mental health problems. They obscure the truth by causing you to conflate their symptoms with the functions. Almost all the patterns/behaviors you describe are compensatory or defensive in nature, i.e., not natural or inherent to personality type and thus inadequate for determining type. I hope you're getting therapy for the trauma and adhd.

3) INTP seems unlikely. You exhibit too many characteristics that contradict the type. Most importantly, I don't think using this functional stack for personal development is going to lead you in the right direction.

#typing #ask

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jamesbuckybarnes19174 · 1 year

Note

💌message to jamie🐺: miss uuuu 💗 can’t wait to be with u soon!🥰💗

💌message to jamie🐺: aw okay, u’ll take me out on a proper date soon, yeah? so we can get all dressed up🥰✨

💌message to jamie🐺: love u most most mostest ever in the whole wide world n universe

💌message to jamie🐺: meeeep i wish i could have ur kissies right now nowwwwww i love them soooooo much💗

💌message to jamie🐺: dbfbsjs plsss don’t break them🥲i like these🫶

💌message to jamie🐺: awwwww i wish that were me poutttt

💌message to jamie🐺: here 🥰 *sends a picture of me hugging bucky bear close to my face, smiling brightly, then sends a picture of me kissing bucky bear*

💌message to jamie🐺: ahhhh i misssss uuuuu!!! so. stinkin. much. grr.

💌message to jamie🐺: dbfbdn hehe yes we doooooo

💌message to jamie🐺: dbfbdndn i’m glad u are bc i’m insane jamie🥰💗✨

💌message to jamie🐺: but don’t u like themmmmmmm🥺💗 just wanna convey my enthusiasm through the phone!!!😁💗✨🫶

💌message to jamie🐺: bdbfnsnd

💌message to jamie🐺: awww i know🥺 i wish was sleeping on u🥺 ur sooooo much more comfy than brucey!

💌message to jamie🐺: awww that’s good baby!! looks a lot better!!!

💌message to jamie🐺: oh yes please! a nice hot shower with u sounds like exactly what i’ll need when i come back!

💌message to jamie🐺: shdbsjdjsj eeeeek🫶 uhhhhh yes yes u do🫣

💌message to jamie🐺: djfnsnd oh ur so silly baby :)

💌message to jamie🐺: *sends u a video of myself in the shower, rubbing soap all over myself* mmmm mhm… y-your smell helps g-get me off sometimes… *moves my hand down, rubbing at my clit, moaning softly* mmmm… w-want you to b-breed me wolf… p-put it all inside me… *whines, slowly fingering myself* mmmm i-i’m all d-daddy’s… j-just yours james… w-want y-your cum s-so bad p-please… *starts fingering myself faster, clenching my thighs, whimpering* p-please… b-breed me… *whines softly* m-make me as y-yours wolf… c-cause i-i’m all yours… and y-you’re all m-mine, yeah james? a-all mine… o-only for y-your bunny… *pants, pushing another finger inside me, whining a little louder* s-shit… o-oh god… mmm… j-james… i l-love you… s-shit i-i’m g-gonna cum… *gasps softly* ‘m c-cumming *moans loudly, releasing, taking my fingers out, looking at the camera, sucking on my fingers slowly, blushing, then giggles, turning it off*

💌message to jamie🐺: u look cute👍 *sends a mirror selfie, my hair up in a towel, in one of ur shirts and boxers, bruce brushing his teeth in the back* hope u think i look cuteeee🥺

💌message to jamie🐺: mmmm wanna hug n kiss u tooo🥺💗 u really realllllyyyyyyy wanna hug n kiss meeeeeeee? lil’ ol’ meeeeeeeee?

💌message to jamie🐺: i’ll pick up cute bandaids for u👍

💌message to jamie🐺: cute !

💌message to jamie🐺: awwww thank u nat :) 💗 wish i could be as pretty as her though!

💌message to jamie🐺: and as talented and tough and coooool as her sighhhhhh🥲🥲🥲 pout shfbdndj

💌message to jamie🐺: good :) i love u lots!🥺💗

💌voice message to jamie🐺: hi jamie… mmm yeah, hope you’re taking good care of yourself… i’m not there to take care of you… *pauses* b-but ermm, i g-guess y-you have n-nat there so erm, t-that’s good… s-she can help l-look after y-you… *clears my throat* y-yeah? j-just us right? *breathes softly* our alone time… *hums softly* i-it’s important… but erm, w-we’ll be home soon… just us… so we’ll get to have lots of time just m-me n you, yeah? i miss you so much… *chuckles softly* mhm, is hard to be away from you… even with all the texts n messages… awww yeah, i’ll keep giving bucky bear lots of love… n you make sure to give scout bunny tons of love… s-she needs it *chuckles softly* mmm pressing my bracelet now… hug… *hums* you show me your love… i really really love your texts honey… and your voice message… so sweet, makes me feel your love for sure… you’re doing more than enough… *chuckles softly* any time alone with you is a yes from me jamie *chuckles softly, sighing after* time to go home… hope it comes soon *chuckles* oh gosh, i miss you so much… y-you’re the most perfect person in the world for me… i can’t imagine having anyone else… i h-hope i’ll stay b-being e-enough for you… cause wanna g-give you the best… *giggles softly* oh man, i sure hope so! i want all your loving… and trust me, you will get tons of loving back… gonna jump on you and give you so many kissies and i won’t let you go… *giggles* i’m gonna be so blushy when i see you jamie… *squeals softly* mmm… y-your sweet little baby… ‘m g-good girl… *hums* i miss it too jamie… miss our bed… our couch… alpine… eating with you… all of it… *hums* mhm, we can take turns making each other food! that sounds good baby… *sighs contently* i love you so much james… cuddles ASAP… *makes kissy noises* will give you my kissies soon honey… mmm pressing mine *pauses to press my bracelet, then speaks in a sing songy voice* i love youuuu… my sweetest jamie… oh how i love youuuu… *chuckles softly* i love you… see you soon, okay? i love you

💌comms: hi wolfie… hope your face doesn’t hurt you… bunny misses you very much… so so much… i love you… i love you soooo much

💌message to jamie🐺: ur face looks better!🥺👍 glad to see it healing good❤️‍🩹

💌message to jamie🐺: i know u do :) i love them! :) i’m glad u like the ones i have for u

💌message to jamie🐺: dbfbsnd love n miss u oh so veryyyy much

💌message to jamie🐺: oh i absolutely love it!🥰💗ur bunny bear n ur my honeybear 🥰🫶

💌message to jamie🐺: mhmmm! cuddles are only for ME ! mmmm i think i dooooo know herrrrr…. sounds like a lucky girl🥰💗i love my sweetest jamie… he’s soooo adorable n i love him sosososo much:)

💌message to jamie🐺: cute :) *sends a selfie of myself in bed, the blanket covering my face except my eyes*

💌message to jamie🐺: i love u sooooo much jamie💗i love u!!! my sweetest jamie💗ur my whole heart !!! i love u !!!💗💗💗

💌message to jamie🐺: i love uuuuuu

💌message to jamie🐺: iloveuiloveuiloveuiloveu

💌message to jamie🐺: i really really love u so much james💗💗💗so so much my baby i love uuuu💗💗💗💗💗nighty night💗💗

💌message to bunny: miss you too baby❤️will see you soon

💌message to bunny: yeah I’ll take you out :) let’s get dinner at some fancy place so we can get dressed up, this is from that event *sends a pic of me in the suit, smiling*

💌message to bunny: wow I can’t really beat that but I do really really love you baby

💌message to bunny: I know baby, I wanna kiss you so bad

💌message to bunny: I promise I won’t break them :) *sends a pic of me in glasses* saw these at the store

💌message to bunny: you look so cute with Bucky bear, baby :) *sends a picture of me kissing the top of the bunny plushie’s head and then the bunny sitting in the passenger seat, buckled in*

💌message to bunny: I know baby, I really really miss you

💌message to bunny: well then I love my insane little bunny so fucking much :)

💌message to bunny: I can definitely see your enthusiasm through the emojis baby lol, they’re very you so of course I like them.

💌message to bunny: brucey?

💌message to bunny: you can fall asleep on me all you want when we’re back

💌message to bunny: yeah it’s mostly healed now :)

💌message to bunny: okay baby :) hot shower with me is on the menu for when I come back :)

💌message to bunny: oh that’s good :) I’m silly? How so?

💌message to bunny: *sends a video of me in the shower, rubbing my hand down my chest and tummy to my cock, slowly stroking it* f-fuck I wanna give you my cum so bad too baby…w-watchin’ you finger yourself like that…s-shit I can never get tired of it…bet it was so hard to stay standin’ *moans and strokes myself faster* you’re such a good girl…told you I wanted you to beg and you did…fuck…I’ll give it all to you okay bunny? You’ll get it all once I have you in our bed…*moans a little louder and leans against the wall* mmhm ‘m all yours bunny…I love bein’ yours…I l-love you too…I love you so much…s-scout, fuck *groans and bucks into my hand as I release, slowly rubbing myself and then smiles and sticks my tongue out at the camera before turning it off*

💌message to bunny: you look so cute my baby :) *sends a picture of me after a shower, naked*

💌message to bunny: lol yes my baby

💌message to bunny: I wanna kiss you so so so much and hug you so so good

💌message to bunny: dreaming about it

💌message to bunny: thank you :) can both wear matching bandaids

💌message to bunny: you’re prettier than Nat, baby

💌message to bunny: babydoll

💌message to bunny: you’re my favorite person

💌message to bunny: you’re so fucking cool lol

💌message to bunny: my little tech nerd

💌message to bunny: I love you❤️❤️❤️❤️you’re mine and I’m yours yeah? My baby❤️❤️❤️love you lots :)

💌voice message to bunny: hey baby…I miss you…mmm yeah, I guess Nat is here to help but I want you takin’ care of me…mhm is just us…’m alone…cause I left where Nat and I, and a bunch of others were to see Stevie so…’m in a shitty motel by myself *chuckles* mhm our alone time is important to me too baby…we’ll be back together soon…mhm I just wanna be with you when we’re back…I miss you so much…’m givin’ scout bunny lots of love, honey…she’ll cuddle with me tonight…I’ll give her some kissies right now, here *kisses the bunny close to my phone so you can hear* press in’ my bracelet now…mhm is a little hug…*chuckles* you’re doin’ more than enough too baby…have loved reading all your messages and listenin’ to your voice when I get breaks…but I really just can’t wait to see you in person…oh baby, I’m very sure you’ll stay bein’ enough for me…you’re so good to me…and I absolutely love spendin’ my life with you…I can’t imagine bein’ with anyone else either…I want you, okay? But uh…hope you also don’t get tired of me or anythin’…*chuclkles* jump on me? Okay baby…lookin’ forward to it…I’ll give you really good hugs and kissies okay? *chuckles* mhm…you’re my sweet little bunny hm? You’re really fuckin’ great scout…’m so…so in love with you…I love you…we’ll cuddle after a shower okay? ‘S so soon baby…*chuckles* fuck your singin’ is so cute…I’ll press my bracelet now…love you so much too my sweet scout…love you always…I’ll see you really soon…love you…

💌comms: my face is okay bunny…I love you too…you know I miss you *chuckles* love you so much…

💌message to bunny: thank you baby :) make sure all your little cuts are cleaned good

💌message to bunny: Love and miss you too baby❤️❤️❤️

💌message to bunny: yes exactly :) we’re so cheesy

💌message to bunny: you got that right :) it’s you and the cuddles are allllll for you okay? I’m addicted to your cuddles

💌message to bunny: I’m not adorable

💌message to bunny: I love you so so much

💌message to bunny: you look snuggly :) *sends the same picture, only showing my eyes, the blanket up to them, then sends another of me cuddling bunny plushie*

💌message to bunny: love you so much too❤️❤️❤️

💌message to bunny: This is an I love you attack :) good one of course

💌message to bunny: love you my sweet little baby❤️❤️❤️you’re my whole heart too❤️love you to the moon and back :)

💌message to bunny: Love you love you love you love you

💌message to bunny: I’m so lucky :) love you so much too scout, really really love you :)

💌message to bunny: Night❤️❤️❤️❤️

0 notes

besthimbomachine · 1 year

Note

I want your commentary on a section of one of your fics, or a whole fic, that you've been DYING to get your thoughts out on. 😊

I hope you've been having a good day, and wanted to get this in before I go to bed glrbfj.

Owwwn thank you sweetheart <3

Btw I got this ask for the Directors Commentary thing AND another one for that too by an anon, nonnie I'm gonna save yours until chapter 4 is done cause I'll for SURE have things to talk about chapter 4 too. I fought through the pure angst of chapters 1 and 2 to get to the other ones which will have more funny, fluffy and horny things which I love writing. Chapter 3 already starts that off with the horny.

Anyways into the commentary proper, I did a bunch of parts of chapter 3 cause I really liked writing it.

I guess first I wanna comment in the fic as a whole. If anyone doesn't know, the title "my love when it counted" comes from the hozier song shrike. If you haven't listened to it, go and look it up, it's great and very much the vibe of this fic.

Anyways, this fic came not from a prompt or situation I found hot as most of mine do but from a feeling. Like, we know Kenny talked about thinking of retiring due to his injuries and we've been getting the vibe, esp after this week's show but also on his feud with Osprey, that he has been feeling the years. That he knows time has started to take it's toll on him. And I myself have been kinda going through my own crisis cause I'm reaching thirty, and as someone who only fell in tune with my own skin after I was 25, the dawning of my youth scares me.

So a heavy theme of this fic is time, how it changes you, in some ways it's bad, in some ways it's good, but it changes you. It has the power to change you so thoroughly that you become a stranger to your past self. So this is a story about the inexorable march of time and the changes it forces on you, and how sometimes you can be the right person at the wrong time. It's also about learning to live with your mistakes and putting in the work to fix things.

Also, every chapter has a working title so I can tell from one look at my Google docs what it's gonna be about, this one was "down memory lane hard".

Chapter parts will be under the read more

That was the box Kenny had dumped any photo with you in, to never be seen again. Shit, he didn’t even know he still had that. He was supposed to have thrown it away, but he never did quite get up the courage to do so. Looking at them now, he could feel the bitter sweet pang of nostalgia, the way it tasted like ashes in his mouth. Swallowing thickly, he stacked the photos together in the box again. That’s when he noticed something else, the black metal previously hidden by the scattered papers shining back at him. (Kenny made the big mistake of giving himself time to doubt instead of just throwing things out right away, big mistake buddy. Nostalgia is a drug, and also a liar, rarely the past is quite as good as it makes you think. Anyways, this is not the last we will hear from the nostalgia box, it still holds something else we haven’t heard about yet.)

For the most part, the camera seemed ok, and it sparked in Kenny a curiosity that he knew he shouldn’t feed. Whatever pictures it held, he knew they would do him no good right now. He knew he should just put it back in the box and leave it be. But he couldn’t resist as his finger pushed the power button, body moving on its own, ignoring all common sense. All he could do was hope the thing just would not turn on. (These three first chapters are just a long stretch of Kenny making bad decisions, some he really thinks would work out - like pretending you are strangers instead of trying to behave normally - and others he really know wouldn’t work out and still he does. At this point he is doing this almost as a type of self flagellation, he knows it will only hurt but it feels better to have the pain than nothing at all)

But of course it did. (hello ominous one liner in italic my old friend)

When Kenny finally made his way to the old photos, the first thing he was greeted with was his own face. Those same baby blues staring back at him, although a good few wrinkles less and many years younger. (references to how he feels about his age are actually important but hey kenny time did you good, you look better now) He had a smile on his face, features framed by the ropes as he sat on the floor of the ring. Behind him, he could see the silhouettes of Matt and Nick facing the vast empty arena, only a few more blurred forms dotted in the background.

Sighing deeply, Kenny moved on to the older photos. Passing through pictures of him, Matt and Nick preparing in the ring, as well as pictures of you getting ready or climbing on the ropes. There was one video from that day that had you and Kenny dancing around the ring, and for the second time now he felt his heart shatter as his memory failed him. He made through the pictures of the four of you, but nothing moved his mind, the memories truly lost to time. (Time and how it changes people is at the core of this fics theme yes and the first thing time goes for in a person is their memories, the human mind is actually very bad at remembering things and sometimes that’s great but other times it’s depressing.)

Biting his lower lip, Kenny laid back against the headboard, finger pressing the button again, but the picture meeting him this time being completely different. The photo had been taken in front of a large mirror outside a building, and standing in the frame were the two of you. He had an umbrella in hand, and you had the camera covering half of your face as you looked through the viewfinder. (Go ahead and imagine the most Wes Anderson looking ass picture, that’s what I was going for, and yes I do deserve to get sent to the content gulag for my hipster crimes)

Sighing again, Kenny flipped through the photos rapidly before stopping when he noticed a change in environment. The picture he’d stopped in was of you, looking away from the camera with your hair tied up, water covering your bare chest all the way above the breasts. He paused, studying the environment, the stone walls and hazy fog circling you were hard to mistake. You two were at an onsen, by the size of it a private one, probably from whichever place you were staying at. (Hello darkness my old friend, like I said, I would have a hard time getting into an onsen cause the japanese still connect tattoos to criminal behavior and I’m covered in tattos but I’ve never commited a crime [Maria has in fact commited multiple minor crimes ranging from drug possession, to showin her tits in public, to having sex in a public-ish place, to stealing from a supermarket to the worst of all,multiple accounts of piracy])

Kenny’s eyes trailed the exposed skin on the back of your neck, eyes following the curve of your spine as it delved underwater. He felt his chest tighten again, you were so gorgeous, if he closed his eyes he could almost feel your soft skin on his fingertips. The next picture had you laughing, waving one hand at the camera as if trying to shoo him away. Your movement - and the surrounding fog - made the photo blurry, but he could still see your exposed chest. Warm water spilled down the inside of your breasts, kissing your skin in ways he could only have in his dreams now.

Moving on to the next photo, Kenny felt the air hitching in his throat as his eyes met with your own, large and entrancing in a way that he never found again after he lost you. Your beautiful irises stared back at him through the screen, keeping him locked in place for a good moment as he felt himself dragged to the bottom of a lake. And for a second there, he really didn’t want to resurface. (Kenny is longing to the point of self destruction, poor guy, but like I said I like to write my man a little pathetic, take him down a notch, make him suffer for his crimes and have to work to get the girl)

When he finally remembered to breathe, Kenny fully took in the image. You stared straight ahead, deep sultry eyes locked with the lens as his hand touched your face. One of your hands held his own, your lips touching his knuckles and the back of his fingers in a soft kiss. Water droplets ran down the curve of your breasts, with the way you were sitting the water just about touched your chest, not fully reaching your nipples. God, you looked like something out of this world, like a siren ready to drag him underwater, a lure he’d never deny. (If he won’t let you do like a siren and drag him to the bottom of a lake to kill him, does he really love you?)

Blood rushed to Kenny’s face and in a moment his breathing became hard, air evading him for a long second. It was almost like he’d forgotten just how gorgeous you could be. His fragile memory - and his most shameful dreams - not doing justice to a sight he once had so freely that he didn’t fully value. He was young and stupid, and you were too beautiful for him to understand - and fuck, from what he saw in the ring you’d only gotten better. (Gotta make sure to remind yall that we are romanticizing aging in this house, you look better in your early thrities than you did in your early twenties!!!)

It did him no good. (Ominous one liner here again to remind Kenny that he should have just turned off the camera)

Watching the scene in the camera had Kenny groaning, extending his legs out in the bed, free hand coming to rest on top of the bulge now formed in his pants. He watched the image of you continue to tease him on the screen, licking his swollen head as you made eye contact with the lens. Muttering curses, his eyes followed the movements of your tongue, his fingers caressing his large bulge over the fabric of his pants. Just the sight of your lips surrounding the head of his cock being enough to have him fully hard. (One hard thing about this chapter was making it clear what was happening on the screen and what was happenning in current time you know, I wanted to make it clear enough so that things wouldn’t be too confusing. Anyways, love writing handjobs and blowjobs, this short smut gave me both, I should have expanded on it but I was tired already.)

Shit, he knew he shouldn’t be watching this. Let alone taking his pleasure from it. It felt wrong, but he didn’t really wanna think about that right now. Kenny only barely remembered filming this video, let alone that it still existed somewhere. He brushed against it again by pure chance, it was not like a premeditated thing.

Fuck, he missed you in more ways than he’d want to admit, and he didn’t want to deny his body’s desire. He didn’t want to deny the way seeing you in the ring had his mind reeling. The way hearing your voice in the backstage halls sent shivers down his spine. He knew it was wrong, but for a single moment he chose to give in to the desire burning deep inside his core. (We get a ‘I know it’s wrong but fuck it’ moment. Was it wrong of him? Yeah, kinda. But as someone who has been friends with people attracted to me and has artistic nudes floating somewhere in the internet, my personal belief is you can jerk off to a picture of me whatever so long as you treat me like a normal human being I don’t care)

Pulling the waistband of his pants down, Kenny released his throbbing cock. Veins popping around the thick shaft and sensitive head, his fingers sliding around it lazily. (thick and veiny is my favorite) He watched as you started slowly moving your head up and down on the screen, each time taking more of his shaft inside your mouth. Groaning, he cursed the lack of audio on the camera, wanting nothing more than to hear the delicious sounds he knew you’d be making. Kenny’s large hand wrapping tight around his length, fingers barely meeting as he pumped himself slowly. (One way I like to give the idea of dick size in smut instead of using the extremely vague and relative ‘it’s huge’ or the waaaay to specific and not sexy at all ‘X inches’ is to compare it to other things, writing blowjobs and handjobs is good for that. I mean, you know how large Kenny’s hands are, if his fingers can barely touch when he warps his hand around his cock, you know it’s BIG)

Kenny took in a sharp breath as he saw your lips getting close to the base of his cock, the camera shaking in his hands as a shiver coursed through his body, setting every nerve alight. He threw his head back, cursing under his breath before looking down again, watching you with darkened eyes. Taking his hand from his cock for a second, Kenny spat on his palm before he went back to fisting his length, fingers now picking up speed. (Spit is not good as lube I know, but it gives a raw sense of desperation that I find sexy for blowjob scenes)

Darkened eyes followed your movements as you bobbed your head a few more times, from tip all the way down, until your lips finally reached the base. The image shook a little before it steadied again. Kenny could almost feel the sensations, the tip of his cock touching the back of your throat, the wet warmth of your mouth stretching around his dick. He’d never forget that feeling, sinful and holy, pleasure bordering on pain. (Deep throat! Deep throat! A girl got a well trained gag reflex, kudos. Also, I know it’s cheap using a pleasure/pain comparison but I like it, I do.)

You continued your sucking on screen, and oh, what wouldn’t Kenny give to hear the noises. He groaned, trying to conjure them in his head as he fisted himself faster now, one hand almost not enough to satisfy his full length. Pre cum dripped from his swollen head, onto his fingers and down his veiny cock, making his movements easier and faster. His erection throbbing in his hand, feeling hot and heavy against his rough palm. (I love this whole paragraph, man. It’s cause Kenny has those hug beautiful hands with long thick fingers. Imining that pumping a big fat cock has me way too horny. I’m a sucker for nice hands.)

You locked eyes with the camera once again, and Kenny could see his hips bucking forward in the video. The hand in your hair stuttering in its pace as your tongue slipped out of your mouth and under his cock. Shit, just seeing that had him delirious, spilling praises out of his lips that he knew you’d never hear. (Gotta slip at least a little ‘alas, poor kenny’ moment in the middle of this horny mess) He imagined the feeling of your mouth, the warmth of your tongue all around him. Deft fists pumped up and down at a voracious speed, his cock heavy and slick in his hands, balls feeling full and tight.

In the screen, his hips bucked erratically now, not even caring if he was bringing your head all the way down or not. Your lips looked wet and abused as they stretched around his girth, moving up and down fast. Pulling your head all the way to his tip, Kenny’s hand moved to your lip, pulling your open mouth towards the camera before coming back to his own cock. He fisted himself a couple times, resting the head of his cock on your tongue as his thick length twitched. Rope after rope of his thick white cum spilled past your plump lips, filling your mouth with it. (I regret now not thinkin gof using the word flooding instead of filling, it would be sexier, but also I find the ‘cumming on someones open mouth so you can watch it’ thing very sexy)

Kenny pumped his hand faster and harder, feeling the coil in his gut snap as he watched you close your pretty mouth, swallowing all of his hot cum, tongue darting out to lick some that had slipped down your lip. He felt his orgasm hit like a truck, shutting his eyes as the intensity of the feeling had him seeing stars. With a grunt, his cock spasmed in his hand, shooting his cum like a torrent. Multiple white, thick ropes spilling from his cock, feeling hot as they poured on his exposed thighs and hips, staining his shirt where they fell on the fabric.

Kenny rode his orgasm for what felt like forever, ecstasy completely clouding his mind. When he finally came to, eyes opening to see his still hard cock twitching slowly. Pearly white of cum painted his fingers, a string of it coming from the head and connecting to his hips. He swiped his thumb over his still sensitive head, spreading his thick white jizz over the tip. He was breathing hard, and it still took him a moment to fully return from his high. (I have a cum kink, send me to the nasty jail cause I’m gonna write guys who cum a lot and also guys whose cum is thick, you know I’m really horny for a character if I give him both traits, I like the image of a throbbing cock too, just *chefs kiss*, once again, loved writing these two paragraphs. Press F for Kenny’s shirt tho, depending on the fabric this is gonna be hard to clean.)

Looking at the mess he’d made, Kenny felt that pang of guilt back in his chest. Shit, he shouldn’t have done that. Pushing his cock back into his pants, he cleaned his hand in his already stained shirt before sitting straight against the headboard, the full weight of his guilt crashing down. He ran his hand through his hair, lips feeling dry as he swallowed hard.

He really shouldn’t have done that. If Kenny had felt bad after your recent fight, he felt even worse now. Like a sleazy, cowardly excuse of a man. One who was too weak to let go and too harsh to fix things. Worse, he felt like he had slipped back into the self centered asshole you’d left all those years back. Shit, this wasn’t who he wanted to be, and it made him sick to the stomach. He looked back to the camera, the video had already ended, the final image being your smiling face. (like I described this chapter once: Kenny’s very bad no good at all post nut clarity)

With a quick push of the buttons, Kenny deleted the video, erasing it from existence like he had done with the others after your break up. This was the right thing, and if he had known about this camera, known about this video, he’d have done it a long time ago. Now it was done, still he felt like shit. And there wasn’t really any way to erase that taste of guilt from his mouth. (We finish with Kenny doing the correct thing and also showing that he was an asshole but not a completly awful person, he did have the mind to at least do the minimally decent thing of erasing the sex videos he knew he had - he may or may not have jerked off to them before that just as he may or may not have jerked off to videos of reader’s matches - and this one he is erasing now. Like I said he will get the chance to straighten up his act and make some better choices, I don’t wanna end this in angst no happy ending)

#wanderbreadsworld #ask #directors commentary #maria speaks #this commentary starts off very thought and full of feelings and then delves into slutty shit #would you ever guess that this fic was me romanticizing aging so I can accept the inexorable march of time?#as the mountain goats once said: I don't know if it's true but I've been told it's real sweet to grow old

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mindofharry · 3 years

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Stepdadrry pleaseeeee ❤️❤️❤️❤️

A small little angsty blurb of harry having to deal with a moody child for the first time! enjoy!

Being a dad is something harry has always wanted.

It’s something he’s dreamt about. So when he met you, it was like fate. You two had met at a museum, Y/N was doing the tours and harry was new to town. Harry had been looking for a home for quite a long time and finally found a good one. The only downside was it was in a small village — or maybe it was good. When Harry first moved, he realised everyone in the village knew everyone. So when Harry permanently moved in, he was the talk of the town.

It died down after a few weeks, but he felt like a proper celebrity.

After finding a job in a local café, Harry went exploring and came across Y/N’s small museum. It was nothing fancy, but it looked like the town came together and put this museum up with historical facts about the village. It was something super special, and harry was glad he got to be apart of this.

When he first saw Y/N, his heart practically burst out of his chest. Harry bit his lip and his eyes widened as she turned around from behind the desk. Her long hair was in neat braids, and she was wearing this beautiful yellow sun dress. Y/N had paint on her hands and arms and a flower tucked behind her ear. There was one word to describe Y/N and that word was; perfect.

“Are you new to town? I haven’t seen you around before” Y/N asked with a big smile, maybe because she was so excited a new person was here or because he was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

“Yeah, I moved here two weeks ago. You’re the first person to have an actual conversation with me” Harry said leaning against the wall. Y/N shook her head and took the flower out of her hair placing it on his harry coat pocket.

“Well, aren’t you lucky?”

And Harry was.

After asking her on a date he knew she was the one. Y/N is kind, selfless and so funny. He found is other match. On the third date, Y/N seemed nervous. Like she was itching to tell him something. Harry then started to get anxious, thinking this is it, this is the time she breaks up with me. So the night was tense, everyone felt it. When dinner was over, Harry drove you back to his and opened up a bottle of wine trying to ease the tension a little.

“I… I have to tell you something” Y/N said and put the glass of wine on the table. Harry nodded his head and took a deep breath in, preparing himself for the worst.

“I have a kid”

A kid?

Harry started to laugh.

“Baby, that’s what you were so afraid to tell me?” He giggled and Y/N nodded looking down at her feet. Harry sighed and placed his wine on the table, then lifting Y/N into his lap placing both of his hands on her cheeks.

“I do not care if you have children, Y/N. I like you and whatever comes with you. Tell me about them”

Y/N’s child is a boy, River, fours year old and a total sweetheart. He’s so smart and has the best manners. His dad is still in the picture, but he works a lot so he doesn’t get to see River as much as he’d like to. But there’s no bad blood between Y/N and River’s dad, the relationship just didn’t work out. But Y/N’s glad she’s gotten a second chance, because she’s found her soulmate. Some people aren’t ready to take on that role, and she’d never put anyone in that position unless they 110% ready for it. She knows River will absolutely love Harry.

Harry knew about River now, it was like a weight had lifted off of Y/N’s chest and she could fully relax now.

She wanted Harry to meet River as soon as possible, but she needed to wait it out a bit just in case something were to happen. She doesn’t want to introduce them and only for her and Harry to break up in a couple of weeks. It would be too confusing for everyone, so Harry and River didn’t meet until two months after Harry and Y/N made it official. Y/N had been dropping hints for those months, and River seems to like his dad’s girlfriend, so she thought now was the right time to do it.

“Hi buddy! I’m Harry” Harry introduced himself, giving River the teddy bear he picked up on the way here. Y/N smiled to herself as River hugged Harry. That surprised Harry a bit, but he quickly reciprocated the warm hug with a huge grin.

“You and mumma are together like daddy and Sandra?” River asked and Harry looked up to Y/N, she nodded.

“Yeah, we are together. Is that alright with you?”

River smiled and nodded, “Only if you watch Toy story with me.”

As time went on, River got more comfortable with Harry and vice versa. He didn’t call him dad or anything, nobody would force him to. But they do have special nicknames for each other and River once called Harry his best friend — which totally melted Y/N’s heart.

Harry is a such a great step dad. Y/N could ask for anyone better. He constantly supports Y/N and River in everything, and is just the best person to be around.

Harry and Y/N got married two years into their relationship when River turned six.

It’s been a tough year for River, since he just started school and is finding it hard to make friends. Y/N has talked to the school and they’ve said that this is very normal, and they’re going to encourage him and look after him every step of the way. Y/N has been looking for play therapists for days, but she’s still not sure on the idea.

But River has been acting out. Taking it out on Y/N and not being very nice to her. Harry hates it, he’s tried to tell him off in the nicest way possible, but he’s just not cut out for being bad cop. Usually Y/N says she can handle it, and she does.

But today was different.

After dropping River off at school Y/N and Harry decided to go out for brunch. Y/N hasn’t been herself with River in a mood, so Harry wanted to treat his wife to something nice. Something to cheer her up a little.

“Nice to see you smiling,” Harry said kissing her temple.

“Just worried about him. He’s never been like this before.”

“How about I talk to him? Tell him his behaviour is unacceptable. I hate seeing you so upset, baby.” Harry said and Y/N sighed pecking his lips.

“His dad is away on a work thing, so I guess me and you and can talk to him together? I just don’t want him to think this behaviour is ok, but I just wish his dad was here more often” Y/N stressed, Harry pulled her chair closer to his, placing both of his hands on her cheeks calming her slightly.

“We’ll talk to him after dinner. Together.”

And so dinner finally came and Harry was a little nervous, he’s not going to lie. Usually if Rivers being bold Y/N handles it, but he’s not usually like this — but they get it, going to big school is a huge change. River just needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable, but if he ever needs to talk about anything then they’ll be here.

“River, Harry and I need to talk to you.” Y/N said as River tried to disappear up to his room.

River shrugged and continued to walking.

“Buddy, your mums talking to you” Harry said placing a hand on Y/N’s hand. River pouted, but still stood in his spot. “Why don’t you come back over and sit with us?” Harry said and River shook his head. Y/N sighed placing a hand on her forehead, blinking away the tears.

“Fine, we’ll do this here then.”

“There’s something going on with you and we want to help. Your behaviour has been unacceptable the last couple of weeks. We just want to know what’s going on, ok? Mummy and Harry are here to help.”

River groaned and walked towards the table. “I don’t want to talk.” He said and Y/N nodded.

“That’s ok. You don’t have to talk to us right now. But you need to know that you can’t be cheeky with us like that anymore. It’s upsetting, River. If it keeps going on, they’ll be punishments and you don’t like them do you?” Y/N said trying to reason with him.

River was having absolutely none of this. Harry could tell. He didn’t want to get in the middle of Y/N’s parenting, but he didn’t want them to fight or end up saying something they’d regret.

“Riv, we just want to help-“

“Stop talking to me, you’re not even my real dad. You’ll be out of here in no time” River yelled, running out of the room.

It was quiet and Harry let out a little laugh, Y/N placed a hand on his and started to profusely apologise.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, you were just trying to help I get that. I’m so sorry”

Harry shook his head and sighed, “He’s right, i’m not his real dad. Was just trying to deescalate the situation. Bad move on my part” Harry said throwing the napkin on his plate.

“No, this is not on you. You did the same exact thing I would’ve.”

Y/N went to move, but harry put his hand in the air. “He’s angry, let’s just leave him for a bit. Let him calm down, then i’ll go talk to him.”

“You’re a good dad, Harry.” Y/N said kissing his forehead before bringing the plates over to the sink.

Harry let River calm down for about 30 minutes and then made Y/N a cup of tea. He didn’t like her being so anxious. After that, he made his way upstairs to Rivers room. The door had a note on it saying “Harry and mummy keep out”. He laughed to himself, before knocking on the door. There was a small grumble, so harry let himself in and leaned against the door frame. River was playing with his toys like nothing happened.

“Wanna play with me Harry?” River asked passing him a toy.

Harry sighed and sat down next to River.

“You know what you said really hurt my feelings?” Harry said and River pouted.

“And you’re behaviour has really upset mummy. Made her cry.” Harry said and River put down his car toy. “Just don’t like the school. Makes me nervous.” River said and Harry nodded placing the boy in his lap.

“And why does it make you nervous?”

“Because no one wants to be my friend, Harry.”

Harry sighed and kissed Rivers head.

“You know, me and mummy are going to go up to the school and yell so loud at the teachers” Harry joked and River giggled into harry’s chest.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry i said you’re not my real dad. You are my dad.” River said and Harrys eyes filled up with tears.

“I love you, River”

“Love you too”

“Now let’s go give mumma a kiss before she gets jealous.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #dad harry styles #dad harry styles imagines #dad harry styles blurbs #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #step dad!harry styles

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Fic were both JZX and Jiang Yanli are trans? I imagine the engagement would get complicated.

The More Things Change - ao3

“My lady,” the midwife said. “Congratulations. You have a daughter.”

Madame Jin shook her head. “I need a son,” she said.

“My lady –”

“I’m not doing that again,” Madame Jin said, her voice getting stronger. “I need a son.”

“But –”

She looked at her loyal maid, who inclined her head.

A knife flashed.

“Congratulations, my lady,” her maid said, pushing aside the midwife’s body with her foot. “You have a son.”

Madame Jin smiled.

“I’m glad you survived the birth of your child,” Madame Yu said to her old childhood friend, wondering why she’d been invited over to visit Lanling City quite so quickly – it hadn’t even been a month. “Were you thinking –”

“I have a son,” her friend said.

“Congratulations.”

“You don’t understand,” her friend said. “There’s a problem.”

“A-Li,” Jiang Yanli’s mother said in a strange tone. “Do you like wearing dresses?”

“Uh-huh,” Jiang Yanli said, trying to see if she could stick her fist into her mouth. She’d always worn frocks, the way all children her age did, but at some point soon her mother had been warning her that she’d need to switch over to wearing proper robes for boys. Jiang Yanli had burst into tears, saying she didn’t want to be a boy at all – that she didn’t want to leave her mother’s side, that she didn’t want to join the world of men, she didn’t, she didn’t.

“And you really don’t want to go be a boy? Really, you’re sure?”

Jiang Yanli nodded.

“What if I said you didn’t have to be? You could be a girl, just the way you like.”

“Really?”

“Mm. But you’d have to be a girl forever.”

“Okay,” Jiang Yanli said happily. “I wanna be a girl forever.”

“Good,” her mother said, and picked her up. “Just keep saying that.”

“What do you think we are,” Jiang Fengmian asked his wife blankly. “Qinghe Nie?”

His wife glared daggers at him.

“Attempt the impossible,” she said stiffly. “A-Li has been claiming to be a girl consistently for a year. Would you deny her the chance to follow her dreams?”

Well, when she put it that way…

Jiang Fengmian hesitated.

“It does create a problem,” his wife said, and he looked at her. She smiled faintly and leaned forward, showing her curves to their best advantage. “If she’s a girl, she’ll marry out, won’t she? We need a boy.”

Jiang Fengmian swallowed. A boy sounded – nice, he thought vaguely, eyes caught on what he was being offered. A little boy, lively and bright, with a happy smile always on his face…yes, that sounded rather nice.

Wei Changze’s letter upstairs said that his wife had announced that they had conceived, and that she had divined that it would be a son – it was frightfully early to make such predictions, less than a month in, but apparently disciples of the immortal mountain were able to determine such things early. A boy like that, who could be friends with their boy, a reason for them to come to visit and maybe even to stay…

Yes, he thought. That sounded rather good.

“All right,” he said. “A-Li can be a girl, I guess.”

Madame Yu and Madame Jin let news of the engagement seep out as rumor for months before telling their husbands. When they did, they took different approaches: Madame Jin pointed out the strategic benefits of an alliance with Yunmeng Jiang and the unlikelihood of Jin Guangshan finding a match for their son that would give him so much more influence in the cultivation world, which had made her husband stop his grumbling and look upon the match with a favorable eye.

Madame Yu stared at her husband, for whom she had just born a son three weeks premature and very nearly died in the process, and said, “What’s your problem?”

“A-Li can’t marry the Jin sect heir! She’s not –” He waved his hands. “The possibility of children –”

“I would have thought that would be a selling point,” Madame Yu said, and he blinked at her. “He’s Guangshan’s son. There will be children enough.”

After some further arguing, Jiang Fengmian begrudgingly backed down.

Madame Yu smiled to herself, and thought of grandchildren.

Everyone said that Jin Zixuan was a spoiled brat and incredibly lucky, but he didn’t think he was. Sure, he was rich and legitimate; his father valued him, while his mother loved him and would defend him against any challengers to his position as heir, but privately…

“Why do I have to work so hard?” Jin Zixuan asked, panting. “I’m already cultivating, and my teachers say I’m not bad with the sword –”

“Not bad isn’t good enough,” his mother said sharply. “You have to keep up with all the rest of them, and that means getting ahead now.”

“The rest of who?” he asked. “Do you mean…”

He hesitated, not knowing if he was also included in his mother’s taboo against mentioning the results of his father’s philandering.

“All of the cultivation world’s young gentlemen,” she said, to his surprise. “You have to keep up with them. No, you need to exceed them. You must!”

“But – why?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Mother,” Jiang Yanli said. She was clutching a book in her hands. “Mother, can we talk?”

Her mother frowned at her, looking disapproving – and then she saw the book.

Jiang Yanli thought she would yell at her, but she didn’t; her mother only gestured for her to come into her room, ordering her maids to close the doors and windows.

“Mother,” Jiang Yanli said. “Mother, the book –”

“How did you get a spring book?” her mother asked. She looked tired. “Surely you’re still too young?”

Jiang Yanli bowed her head.

It was true, she was too young. And yet…

“Mother, the pictures in the book…”

“I know.” Her mother sighed. “All right. Let me explain.”

Jin Zixuan stared at his mother. He felt sick.

“But,” he said, and swallowed. “But what about…?”

“I’ve handled it,” she said harshly. “But that is why you must not allow your father to take you to a brothel. Is that understood?”

“Who do you think is the best girl? Zixuan-xiong?”

“Oh, don’t ask him! He has a fiancée, so his answer will be her!”

“A fiancée? Really? What sect is she from? She must be extremely talented!”

“Forget it,” Jin Zixuan said.

“What do you mean by that?” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, and suddenly he was getting into his face. “Say that again if you dare!”

Jin Zixuan opened his mouth, hating him – hating the whole situation, being stuck not making any decisions for himself, his whole life mapped out for him by others – but then hesitated.

Jiang Yanli is the only one fit for you, his mother said. Do you understand? The only one.

“I haven’t met her since I was five,” he said instead of what he wanted, rolling his eyes. “So how could I dare to boast about her in your presence? You all want to know about her, ask Jiang-gongzi.”

Wei Wuxian blinked at him, the wind suddenly taken out of his sails.

Jin Zixuan escaped.

He felt like shit, thought. She was his fiancée, and he didn’t know anything about her – he didn’t want to hear about her, think about her. And yet…

The only one.

He went back to his room and wrote her a letter. It was a mess, the worst thing he’d ever written, nothing at all like the polite and careful phrasing, elegant and beautiful, that he’d been trying to put together, something worthy of his name.

He sent it before he could think better of it.

Jiang Yanli held the letter to her chest and smiled.

They’d exchanged a few dozen letters. Jin Zixuan knew that his intended was smart and witty, empathetic and kind, observant and well-meaning, but he didn’t know that she was beautiful until after they escaped from the indoctrination camp and the cave with the Xuanwu of Slaughter.

He’d just accompanied Jiang Cheng for the entire seven days it took to get to the Lotus Pier, collapsing right alongside him, and while Jiang Cheng had – somehow – gotten back on his feet and immediately led his father and mother out the door to go rescue Wei Wuxian, he’d stayed down on the floor until someone knelt down in front of him and smiled.

“Can I get you something to eat, Jin-gongzi?” Jiang Yanli asked.

“Uh,” Jin Zixuan said, and turned bright red. He could sure think of some things he’d like to eat – living as his father’s son had certainly given him an education (however theoretical) about that.

“Food,” Jiang Yanli clarified, giggling into her sleeve. “Let me get you some food.”

This was probably a bad idea, Jiang Yanli thought, looking down at the head tucked against her chest. I probably should’ve just stuck to food. What if he gets with child? What will we do then?

She couldn’t quite bring herself to regret it, though.

“A-Xuan,” she whispered, and Jin Ziuxan stirred a little. “Can we do it again?”

“You’re insatiable.”

That wasn’t a refusal.

“A-Li!” Jin Zixuan shouted, rushing forward. “A-Li, A-Li…!”

She collapsed into his arms.

He looked at the retainers from Meishan Yu, stubborn but pale. “It’s all right,” he said. “She’s my fiancée. I can take care of her.”

“The Jin sect walks in the center path,” one of the retainers said. “Never quite committing to the Sunshot Campaign. How do we know this isn’t a trick to get into the Wen sect’s good books?”

Jin Zixuan bit his lip. He’d pushed his father time and time again, and even that had only gotten them to participate half-heartedly in the fight against the Wen sect. What could he say? What worth was his word?

“It’s all right,” Jiang Yanli said. “I trust him.”

“You could do so much better, you know,” Wei Wuxian said. “It’s not too late!”

Jiang Yanli smiled down at her wedding outfit, but thinking instead of the panicked expression on Jin Zixuan’s face a week before when he’d unexpectedly thrown up in the morning when he was supposed to be preparing for the Phoenix Mountain hunt.

“Oh, it’s too late,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. “On that note, you pick the name.”

“The name…?”

“For our upcoming nephew.”

“Shijie! You didn’t!”

Jiang Yanli’s grin widened.

“Wei Wuxian has committed a crime in attacking our camp and taking the Wen remnants,” Jin Zixuan’s father announced. “We should –”

“Let it go, Father.”

“…what?!”

“I’m getting married, and he’s A-Li’s shidi,” Jin Zixuan reminded his father. “It would be inauspicious to start a marriage by breaking such a relationship.”

His father looked like he was planning on ignoring that, so Jin Zixuan used his trump card.

“We can’t afford anything inauspicious right now,” he said. “Not when there’s a child on the way.”

His mother dropped her cup.

“I have to go,” Jin Zixuan said. “You don’t understand. I have to.”

Jiang Yanli rubbed his hair. “You’re supposed to be in seclusion,” she reminded him. “As am I.”

“I’ve been throwing up every morning for two months, A-Li,” Jin Zixuan pleaded. “I can order them to clear the kitchen. No one would know we were there!”

Jiang Yanli laughed a little. “The craving’s that bad, huh?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, all right. We’ll give it a shot…”

It would have worked, too, if Jin Guangyao hadn’t noticed that too many people were in the wrong place and taken it upon himself to investigate.

“…Jiang-guniang?” He stared at her flat waist, then turned his eyes slowly towards the roundness at Jin Zixuan’s. “Jin-gongzi…?!”

“It’s all right, it’s A-Yao,” Jin Zixuan said to Jiang Yanli. “He won’t tell anyone. Right?”

Jin Guangyao shook his head mutely.

“Seclusion,” he muttered. “No wonder…everyone said it was bad timing that you went into seclusion right before Mistress Jiang announced her pregnancy. But it wasn’t, was it..?” He shook his head. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell.”

“We’re in your debt,” Jin Zixuan said, and thought Jin Guangyao’s eyes upon him were softer than they’d ever been before. “You’ll be a good uncle.”

Jin Guangyao smiled. “Perhaps,” he allowed. “One question, if I may. Who’s the father?”

Jiang Yanli wrapped an arm around Jin Zixuan’s shoulders and beamed.

Jin Guangyao’s jaw dropped again.

“Your son needs you,” Jiang Yanli said to Madame Jin. “Go.”

“Jin Ling,” Madame Jin said, looking down at the baby in her arms. A son, her grandson…a miracle. “Well. You’re – not what I expected.”

If her husband ever found out…

Well.

She’d just have to make sure he wouldn’t, now, wouldn’t she?

#mdzs #jin zixuan #jiang yanli #madame jin #yu ziyuan #my fic #my fics #the more things change #misaligned

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