#we're the ones to make all the memes and roasts

[paintsplash1712]

What I love about Hobbie as an English Person (TW: Flashing Lights)

God does it feel great to have a British character in a none British film that actually feels, well, British.

So to the rest of the world, you guys have this stereotype of us being poor ass Conservative assholes that only care about ourselves and its sad that stereotype is so common because (appropriately) its a tiny percentage of people.

Now I'm not from London (another thing guys we're not all from London! It's like saying every American is from California) so I don't know every reference Hobbie made and I was born far after the punk movement so take my observations with a pinch of salt but...

He feels so real!

I work in retail so I see a lot of unique colourful characters and I've met people similar to Hobbie, you'd think they'd be intimidating or stone-faced but they're so chill and more likely to treat people in our work place with more respect then others. And I totally believe Hobbie would too (he's punk he has to).

I love all the little references in the way he speaks, I find it hilarious that the film had to translate what a jumper is or other things I thought were universal.

I love how kind and open he is to Gwen and Miles. If his story is anything like the comics I would've expected him to act more douchy or angry but he doesn't give a toss he just wants to play his music and make Miguel angry (which I respect).

His art style is collage! My favourite medium!

(Also very appropriate from what I learned in college, where we analysed album covers and artwork by punk bands and artists and how it stood out in a time of same-y looking artwork) So very appropriate for Spiderverse.

Anyway I didn't have a structure to this. I just love having English representation that actually feels like the writers talked to actual British people (not posh assholes but actual people) and did their homework.

So Daniel Kaluuya got to use his actual accent for once! Yay!

#I know I missed a lot #apparently his shoelaces having meaning too #what things did you notice? #My favourite was 'I hate the AM and the PM' #so do we buddy #so do we #btw most UK citizens hate politicians no matter what side of the spectrum you're on #stop acting like we love our leaders #we're the ones to make all the memes and roasts #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv #hobbie brown #spider punk #ALSO Spider Punk is Aro/Ace ok byyyyeeee #spiderman across the spiderverse

[undreaming-fanfiction]

(likely a modern AU so the timeline fits)

Eddie feels so very, very torn about the Hobbit movies. He loves the music and hums "the Misty Mountains Cold" before he can catch himself, but he not very silently screams about all the crap that was added for no reason and, the bad CGI? A travesty, your honor! He glares at the screen when Legolas appears and utters "where the fuck did you come from?", he loves the casting choice for Bilbo but absolutely roasts the idiotic way that the screenwriters butchered Bilbo's relationship with the dwarves and the way it evolved.

But the thing he never forgives those movies for is that unbelievably idiotic love triangle and the way it made others tear up when Eddie's soul temporarily left his body to punch Peter Jackson. Because it DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE. There was no development. The flirting was bad, trust him, he knows what good flirting looks like and this ain't it. Eddie hates it with passion, especially the scene that overshadows the incredibly powerful one with Thorin's death. He is PISSED. The scene is so so SO lazy and Thrandúil did not deserve this disrespect. Shit, even the weird added ginger elf Tauriel did not deserve it. Yes, we're talking this scene:

Eddie mocks the shit out of this. He gobbles up all the memes and there is a 50/50 chance in the months after he saw the fateful scene that his contempt for it would bubble up.

"Hey Eddie," asks Steve whe he sees Eddie between moving boxes when they finally find an apartment together . "Why aren't you packing?"

And Eddie, instead of saying "I'm taking a break," clutches his chest and chokes out, "because it was real, Steve!"

When Eddie goes to buy groceries and Steve unpacks them, he notices that Eddie bought two bags of potatoes instead of one. "Why did you get two?" he asks.

Eddie rummages through his pockets and produces the receipt. "Because the discount was real!" he says with a mock sob and points at the potatoes being 30% off.

And Steve is a patient man, he really is, but when Eddie tells him that the claws were real as a response to his question why is Eddie all scratched from their cat and refuses to elaborate, he threatens that if it doesn't stop being real, he's going to get a set of the Hobbit movie posters for his side of the bedroom and proudly display them.

Eddie bitches, moans, threatens, but eventually he moves past the idiotic love triangle.

When they lie together, falling asleep, Eddie mutters into Steve's neck "I can't believe that stupid threat worked on me. Why would you even thing about something like that?"

Steve turns to him with a deadpan expression and says:

"Because it was real."

#steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie #steddie drabble #stranger things drabble #steddie watches hobbit #one half of steddie hates certain parts of hobbit

[sorryimananti-romantic]

saw the ateez as dads and im so tired of you all calling yourself fans while keep treating yeosang as a fool. the joke is not even funny anymore, you all are not his friends, stop crossing the line.

We appreciate how idols show us a specific side of them so we pick their habits and quirks and play around with it in memes, fiction and other forms of content. I don't know which part exactly ticked you off but as a genuine yeosang stan who adores how precious and innocent he comes off as, we picked little cute habits of his and played around with it as we did with every other member. No one who writes fiction claims to know the member bc, like i emphasised, it's a work of fiction. We don't know who they really are, we don't claim to be their 'friends'. I don't even understand how you assumed we're thinking of them as friends- most of us (and me) can never meet or talk with them irl.

Also, glad you just skipped past every member whom we roasted as much as yeosang, maybe even more. The roasting was only a small part of our headcanon, and then the rest where we talked about their strengths and qualities? How they'd make such good father figures? Let's talk about that <3

#loren are you seeing this #anon you should just tell me what exactly is the problem here instead of being vague #bc i went and reread and I don't see it maybe bc i wrote it? #yumi.asks

[darkoverord]

I need to have a rant about the UK, the heatwave we're getting next week, and shitty attitudes peeps might have about it :V

First just gonna if you're in the UK, we're about to potentially get our first ever 40C day next week (previous record was 38.7C for reference). Best advice is to keep your windows shut during the day, keep all the curtains shut and if need be put foil in the windows to reflect out heat (I'm legit considering the last point >_>). Make sure you keep hydrated, more than you think you need but not too much. Also make sure kids are adequately cooled and that you keep checking in on elderly people you are about 'cus both ends of age we end up with thousands dying in a year from heatwaves.

Second, people who are like "Oh but we get hotter temperatures regularly, wimps" and other similar shit just. Go past the memes, shut up for a moment and maybe read under the read more.

SO. Right. In 2021 the UK Met Office brought in to weather warnings "Extreme Heat", which seams standard enough except almost immediately after bringing that type of warning in they had to issue the 2nd highest level (within like, weeks IIRC?). A year later and we're now on the highest level, which they consider "an extreme risk to life"

Look, it me *points at Manchester*

Now I know what you're thinking, "why are you making such a fuss about this? Surely if you're getting these temperatures regularly then as a country surely you're getting used to it and mitigating it?" to which yeah we are trying to but we can only do so much with what we have.

Like I cannot spell out enough how rapidly these changes have happened (almost like climate change is real 🤔) but lets just, kind of point out some things that are happening:

UK building codes focus on heat but only in one direction, don't let it out - A properly insulated building would resist letting heat in as much as it resists letting heat out. However because until the past 20 years the UK was generally a cooler, wetter, country, it's never been a focus. Why wouldn't you want heat to come in when your climate is cooler? Well the answer to that is if a tiny portion of humanity decides it's okay to roast us alive for money you'd be able to deal with it.

The consequence of this is pretty simple. If your home equalises with the outdoor temperature (which you can try to mitigate), even if it cools down it can take days for that heat to finally get out unless you've got a home with decent airflow or just really shit insulation.

For example during last week's heat wave (yes... we've only had three days of respite...) it took 3 days for my flat to finally stop being 5C to 10C hotter than outside 'cus we just could not get the heat to shift. Now apply this principle to almost every home or public building you can think of like schools, pubs, offices, that don't have air conditioning. Oh yeah, that's the next point.

The UK generally doesn't have air conditioning unless you're rich or you're in a public building that is new or managed to retrofit it in - I'm not kidding. Most of us don't even have portable AC units 'cus they don't even properly fit our windows. We literally often end up dealing with heatwaves like this:

And god so often do we get these shitty "Oh just get AC" comments as if implying that AC is fucking cheap in the UK. Or that a lot of us own and don't rent our homes to get it installed.

The UK admittedly kind of has an obsession with buildings having large windows - Like even my flat has large windows? Not the best but they're generally always designed in a way to keep the heat in, so that's already a problem. I guess the idea is to let in as much light as possible so that the sun adds a bit of heating on a colder day. Now imagine if there were buildings with complete glass fronts suddenly dealing with direct sunlight at 40C, oh...

Okay so that's already three problems and the bulk of UK homes and offices date back to the 60s and 70s, which means they were already up to (and over with buildings from the 1800s) 70 years and more behind modern building codes. Even if the UK was preparing for these temperatures (since 2003, and we haven't been) the bulk of buildings simply wouldn't be able to cope anyway. There's two solutions to this, you knock all these buildings down and build new ones - or - you retrofit them all. Both of these are extremely expensive and the government will refuse to bank roll this. Don't die from heat stroke peasants!

And we're not even talking about infrastructure yet, I've only focused on "buildings which may contain people for more than a few hours". Lets look at that, with the first easy point that popped up even a decade or so ago...

UK Rail is not designed for regular high temperatures, it's designed for 27C stress free (so no trains on it) - (got a source for that one if you're curious) So trains will have to slow down because sometimes in these kinds of temperatures if the circumstances are right our railways could just buckle from expansion and in worst case scenarios kind of just pop out like springs 'cus railways are kind of designed to be at tension so when a big heavy thing goes over it it doesn't just, give way underneath the big heavy thing. So that's already one infrastructure "ah".

UK Roads are also not designed for regular high temperatures - An example given for this is that once the BBC took a temperature reading on the A68 Earlston in Scotland, 21.2C, but the road temperature was 49.2C, which is pretty much where our roads start melting like chocolate, but less delicious and more dangerous. You'll also note that this article is from 2013 and cites incidents in 2003 and 2006... Lets see what's happening this week, oh!

Which yeah, that's not a surprise if 21C in direct sunlight can start making roads tacky like taffy then boy, 40C will.

We're having at least one bridge fall apart because of heat causing it to expand - (Source) Again, a simple matter, especially with historical metal bridges (and I'd argue structures as well) like the Hammersmith Bridge where they were built to withstand load and temperature specifications long since gone. How often do you have to cover a bridge in foil to stop it getting too hot, and have to run cooling systems at night to also try to stop it getting too hot? I'd argue if you're in a country where you're used to these temperatures, rarely! Meanwhile...

Now in a normal sensible country not run by madmen who wish to only make a profit, these matters would be touched on. But all these points require public expenditures to adapt an entire country to deal with climate change. But it's not happening. That bridge? The government's Ministry of Transport refuses to provide any more than a third of repairs. Even though it's a historical bridge and a major crossing over the Thames.

If they're not willing to bankroll London you can bet your ass is Westminster's government not going to bankroll changes elsewhere.

Almost all these points point the blame squarely on poor planning by the UK government for 20+ years. - Not a shock of course, it's not like the UK doesn't have plenty of people who deny climate change, even MPs. But these are all reasons that with proper planning could've been mitigated well before the country starts melting. I believe the devolved governments are trying, but there's only so much they can do within their confines as they still technically have to deal with Westminster.

I could've given simple people reasons, British people are acclimatised to cool temperatures and so on. But they're often ignored and framed as us being unable to cope.

I could've pointed at the UK also having issues with wildfires now. I could've pointed at the fact that I'm in a particularly wet part of the UK it's not rained for two weeks.

But I know those kinds of points get shrugged off as other than the wildfires there's not really any "oh so that's why" reason. It just looks like the British public are idiots with temperature and should suck it up. (Granted given how often the general public lobster themselves in heatwaves that's not entirely an incorrect assessment...)

However maybe seeing that schools are having to shut ('cus most don't have air conditioning), hospitals having to cancel appointments (likely to deal with an influx of people suffering heat stroke) and our roads just melting, will kind of frame how this country was never ready for regular days of 25C, it wasn't ready for regular days of 30C and certainly was never ready for 40C.

The same works in reverse after all, Brits have no real right laughing at Texas when it snowed (well, okay, we could all join in and laugh at the "snow isn't real" conspiracy theories). If your infrastructure isn't ready then of course it's going to struggle.

Just, be a little more patient with people and not just go "Oh get air conditioning" as if it's some magical fix to the UK's climate change issues.

I do get ratty every year with this kind of thing and for genuine good reason.

Anyway now to price up how much tinfoil I need to cover our stupid windows.

#Don't mind DO #just grumpy about heatwaves in the UK

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

bored. thoughts on literally all the dna stuff

jackie- "i can fix her"

hyunwoo-i kinda get weirded out by the power dynamic in the sheer idea but tbh. it's nice i think. i just want this boy to be a little happier, man

jenny-i am DYINGGG SHE BOUGHT A BAIENGIACA

xiukai:i cant believe that, to sissela, hed be the grandma who makes you feel like you need a second stomach once you visit. funny. he's 34 with the vibe of a 70 year old

aya-what are her thoughts on fentanyl. i wonder. btw it's always funny when someone goes "NO drugs. but alcohol is great". like mate thats just drug lite

alex-now i'm curious what his disease is even supposed to be, i don't recall anything about that. if it's just some sort of chronic fatigue thing then i'd easily say fuck it and headcanon POTS just because but. i'd like to know

leon: "don't bring gifts for me >:( i'm not a kid >:(" the repression is strong on this man

chiara:i think itd be funny to have an alliance where it's zahir, chiara and aya. impossible to understand a damn word. also "i can fix her" part 2

shoichi:you know how it's canon that chidi anagonye is buff because whenever he felt stressed he just did pushups

sissela:she likes strawberry. noted. also ngl i do find the thomas sissela dynamic sick now that i think about it. for a solid second i felt so mentally ill remembering that he brought her to the experiment because he wanted her to get actually cured and not be in pain

rio-i feel VINDICATED. every time. i want to put that "rio to yuki" voiceline on my forehead. they don't get along on such a fundamental level. they have not had a single good interaction. that's why i feel feral when i see anyone ship them, she hates himmmm. also the delivery is bad but in a way that's good because it fits her, she sounds robotic but it feels like it's just how she be OHSFKSDF SHE DOESNT EVEN LIKE DOGS!!! SHE ACTUALLY FUCKING HATES HIM IM LAUGHING

echion-"i see the hesitation in your fists" about hyunwoo is making me mentally ill. also "don't be pretentious" to magnus IS SO FUNNY. he really went "stfu i'm gonna hit you". the things i dislike is also extremely funny. this sign can't stop him because he can't read, guys. though, he sounds like hunter toh to me in a way that makes me like him by association now. past me is crying but current me thinks this mans is funny as hell

tia-im crying. "what's wrong with my hair (┬┬﹏┬┬)". danny boy roasted her so hard. that "can i draw you ◕_◕ " to jenny though. i see you

daniel-even daniel cant believe it when she says she's a doctor. the doubt in this man's voice. also it's so funny how he reads people for their appearance (like "your hair is a mess) and then with yuki he just roasts him for his personality. does he think that bowl cut ass hairstyle is okay enough to focus on something else

eva-"nah i don't feel like getting a haircut quite yet" as he definitely fucking SEETHES

bianca-"oh my god a fellow weirdo!!!". four person alliance between aya chiara zahir and bianca actually. impossible to parse a single word. and it's funny that she goes gentle on sissela (i assume she's too skinny, so) and with echion she plain goes "you have literally no body fat"

johann-YO????? i am mentally ill about that one for sure. johann is so about trying to be the sort of christian who doesn't suck absolute ass and the interaction that has with the extremely complicated relationship isol and rozzi have with church and religion is so interesting to me rn

laura-how did they get away with this "things i dislike" line. also the bizarre thought process i had with aya and laura is so vindicated. police officers are her favorite

aiden-he did not just "we're not so different you and i" her. his luke is funny as hell though. "you get paid to clean? 🤨" do i need to explain society to you???? he sounds legit confused. hKFJNSDKFJ THEY JUST SHOVED ALL THE FUNNY MEME LINES ON HIM HUH. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING BAKA

elena-she and rosalio allying would be nonstop complaining. they'd either hate each other or be like soulmates. "i hate the heat but i hate the cold" "me too" and then a look of understanding

felix-he did not hit elena with the "you'd be prettier if you smiled". i like him but. girl freeze him. also confirmation that magnus does not use steroids. weird-ass way to ask though. what if he met a trans person mid transition? would he hit them with that exact line as the poor fucker is like "yeah???"

#not a quote #i'd have to record it to save it so. oh well #learned my lesson the hard way on the first close. you HAVE to be thorough #i don't feel like it right now. might start getting it done later

[destinyc1020]

I mean, that COULD be the case, but I think what anon is saying is that you should be able to take at least an hour out of your 24-hour day to be off the phone long enough to have a nice pleasant meal while out with your friends or loved one(s). Thank you, that's exactly what I meant. Tweets, fans OR business - all that can wait 1h (another anon, read more carefully pls). If the people that are hanging with her are ok with it, why does anon care? How do you know they're OK? 🤔 We don't know that. Maybe they'd want to politely ask her to stop doing it, but they don't want to hurt her feelings or whatever. Maybe she's well aware of her own bad habit and she recognizes it, she just can't fix it yet? Anyway, who would enjoy having the person you're talking to constantly cheking their phone? Is this some kind of new gen z trend? 😂 lol Anyway, in Z's defense, she doesn't do it all the time. yeah. ...only every other photo from a cafe lmao 😆.

I've got my eye on you, miss Z. I'm gonna collect pics of her scrolling memes at restaurants instead of having a chat with Darnell or enjoying her food or starring into Tom's gorgeous brown eyes after all. And I'll post all of it on IG (/j but kinda serious). I'm sure she'll laugh when she sees it from the outside.

To anon#2 and to all hardcore Z stans out there, pls chill. I'm not coming for your queen. She's my queen too. We're just joking around and roasting a little (and like old millennials we're making etiquette remarks lmao). That's it

Thanks for your input Anon 👍🏾😊

And yea, just cuz you love your fave doesn't mean that you have to feel like they are perfect. I have many faves but I know they're not perfect, and sometimes they may do (or say 👀) things that make me give them the side-eye lol, but it doesn't make me love my faves any LESS.

I think celeb culture has become so cultish these days, that you can't even playfully joke or point out smthg that you don't like or give the side-eye to, without being bashed or having rabid fans jumping down your back and snatching your edges. 🥴

Some fans need to put down the sword. There's a difference btwn pointing out an observation, and just being plain MEAN or catty about someone. The latter is totally uncalled for, and I usually try not to dwell on or post overly negative posts on my blog about anyone really. (Believe me, I get some crazy stuff in my inbox)

I'm pretty sure Z knows of her addiction to memes and her device just in general lol (I feel like she's even mentioned it before in an interview? 🤔), so I don't think anyone needs to tell her about herself. It's just the culture that we live in. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Just about everyone does it at SOME point.

Maybe she's been working on it and has actually improved! We really don't know lol 😆

But yea, it's just nice etiquette and manners to (at least when out to eat) put the phone down, and just enjoy that person's company.

Gen Z might feel differently though, so maybe it doesn't really bother them at all lol? 🤷🏾‍♀️ But for others, especially those raised by old-school standards, it might seem a bit rude to them.

[zuckarr]

10, 12, 14, 19 for the vegan ask game~

40 Vegan Questions Ask Meme 🌱☀️🐰

10. What convinced you to go vegan?

I've lived most of my life with a typical rural family, we used to raise chickens and ducks and I loved them as a kid. I went on daily walks with the ducks in the backyard, and they followed me happily. They ate flowers off my hand and often fell asleep in my arms. I still vividly remember the touch of their soft feathers and the tiny teeth in their beaks. I used to hide in the chickens' shed because I didn't want to go to school. Knowing that the chickens loved to eat their own eggs, I broke one or two occasionally, unbeknown to my parents, and fed them. I also cuddled with them, named them all... but then, every December, my grandparents came and killed the animals for our roasted Christmas dinner. They even attempted to teach me, but I responded with loud cries. I didn't want them to die, and yet, I ate their flesh the very next day. And it felt wrong, even back then, as a 6-7 years old.

This feeling persisted in the back of my mind as a teenager, then as a young adult. But it was just sitting there, I wasn't doing anything with it; until one day, during a break from work, someone casually mentioned that one of my coworkers was a vegan. I had worked with this person for months, and yet I never noticed. A spark followed: it was like I had suddenly remembered about the vegetarian inclination I've had in the back of my mind for years, and I had finally found the will to know more about it.

So I googled 'veganism' and started reading - it took less than a week to make the choice. The last nonvegan food I ate was sushi at a chinese restaurant, where they had a fish tank with live fish inside. I looked at the dead fish on my plate, then at the tank. The answer to all of my doubts was staring straight at me. I went vegan overnight, because everything about it felt right and sounded undeniably correct. All of it resonated with my beliefs and I was overwhelmed with happiness at the thought of my actions finally aligning with my morals.

TL;DR - I went vegan because it always felt like the right thing to do, and simply finding the will to educate myself on it sealed the deal.

12. Are you dogmatic or live-and-let-live with your vegan principles? Do you lecture about your ideals to others unasked?

For now, I prefer to only share my principles with people who show curiosity. Most people tend to be quite opinionated on veganism, but they don't realize that they actually don't know much about it - and it's seldom a good idea to let them know about their ignorance. It's not their fault, though. I also wasn't educated on veganism before deciding to read into it. Live and let live sounds respectful enough, as long as I'm given the same respect.

I don't know if this will change, though. Maybe one day I'll tolerate less? People can really get on your nerves with the usual anti vegan stances, and maybe I won't be so nice when I'll have had enough of their shit. I know some vegans who concluded they wouldn't bother being nice any longer, and I can't blame them. Being a vegan attracts idiots debaters who will do their best to bother you lol. I very much prefer people who show interest and ask questions.

14. Is there anyone in the vegan community who inspires you - in attitude, recipes, vigor, etc?

Earthling Ed is a fantastic activist and a pleasure to listen to, Mic the Vegan is great for information and fun, SweetPotatoSoul inspires me with her gorgeous smile and delicious recipes, Nico & Louise make the best vegan desserts, Simnett Nutrition is wholesome and incredibly encouraging! Since we're on tumblr, it's impossible not to mention @vegance whose blog is a goldmine of vegan posts and @acti-veg whose blog is the most resourceful I've seen! Thank you guys!

19. What do you always make sure to have? List your pantry essentials.

OHHHHH YAY FOOD TALK! I've always loved food but even more so as a vegan! I can't be without soy milk or rice milk. I have to have one of the two or both. Pasta, rice and canned beans/lentils are also essentials. I love to keep some maple syrup, too. Kale and spinach in the fridge. A basket of various fruits would be ideal (especially kiwis and bananas). And of course, spices like basil, paprika, rosemary and cinnamon. The list could go on because I just love being surrounded by my favourite foods, but I think these are the ones I just can't be without!

Thank you for the asks! ♥

#veg 🌱 #veganism #vegan #ask

[why-am-i-here-someone-save-me]

This is a random story about a group project of screaming that just happened like 5 min ago.

WARNING: SWEARING A LOT OF EM

For more context here are my friends that I'll refer to as:

T

the tomboy of the group. Chaotic and loud friend but is really friendly. Oh- also meme material

C

Calm and collected. Not exactly the mom friend but they hang out every now and then. Also REALLY good at art

G

The good friend. they always make sheets and explain to us about the subject. Help with subject that we struggle with (looking at YOU history and meth- math)

R

The one that roasted everyone lmao- ok it's more of an insult than a roast but idk what to call them but yeah they're pretty cool

And me UP :D

The....one that somehow gets into this group...? Idk what to describe myself.

This is basically how the conversation goes lol-

UP: ok-who will write? Cuz my handwriting is shit-

T: hey-

UP: NO

T: :(

R: UP got a point. T handwriting is not a doctor but a FUCKING SNAKE-

T: UP R is bullying me again-

C: ok Shut up. R you'll write most of the assignment. And T... You'll write SOME of it.

G:I'll help :D wait did you bring the book? Y'ALL BRING NOTHING HERE?

UP: I got the book the highlighter the pencils-

So T and R got to write while G told them what to write and me and C 'decorate' it

R: UP YOU'RE COVERING THE DAMN BOOK-

UP: IM SORRY-

C: UP Your flowers is so fucking weird-

UP: IM SORRY-

*next page*

C: UP STOP FUCKING DRAW STARS YOUR ART SKILL IS SHIT JUST SIT THERE LIKE A CABBAGE

R:T WTF? JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BI DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T DRAW A STRAIGHT LINE- (ok I made that one up sorry if this offend you)

T: IM SORRY-

R:YOU ******** GO SUCK A **** *****

The teacher behind us: ....what-

It's a disaster.

Ok now for the genshin related stuff-

T: doesn't have a genshin account but they're a SIMP

C: have an account but kinda abandon It- ar 14 I think? They like chongyun and call yae ears the chicken neck thing- I forgot English

G: my genshin buddy. Likes all the cute stuff. Main kokomi keqing yae but mostly kokomi currently building shogun.

R: doesn't have a genshin account cuz potato phone.

But imagine if instead of 1 creator. There's 5? And we are just like power rangers or something lol-

R: who is confused about wtf is going on

T: who is simping for zhongli and ayato

G: who asks for kokomi signature and (tries to) touch gorou tail

C: who is hugging qiqi but have no idea about how the world works

Lastly: me who is showing venti how jumping off a cliff is faster than gliding-

If imposter au we would definitely be dead why?

Only 2 of the group knows most of genshin knowledge

We're noisy AF

archons vs humans who can run faster?

W e a k.

This is the order of who can survive the least to the most imposter au.

UP

2 words medical condition. I won't say much but walking is hard. (And copium that my friendship lv is enough)

T

Noisy and because of their friendly nature. They might not survive

G

Physically weak but can use genshin knowledge

R

Although survival instinct is important. The lack of genshin knowledge is fatal flaw

C

Knows a bit of genshin and is the strongest of all of us.

Btw this is not a request lol just a random thought. But if you want to write about it you have my permission lol- ( even if you do how do u name them? I just give you random letters)

And yeah that's it.

…Jesus Christ that was one hell of a trip just to read 0-0

#luci answers

[blogofageminimoon]

self reflection: friendships in your 20's

i'm 24 years old, turning 25 in november. i've always had the same group of friends since high school and our friendship has extended into our 20's. however, i've cut ties with people within this circle and my friendship group is smaller than before.

one of my old friends is in a long term relationship and whenever we hang out, a lot of our conversations are simply revolved around her bf and our work life. i feel like we don't have much in common anymore. also, there have been times where she brings him out to girls days unannounced or last minute. the way she approaches it is along the lines of "oh hey, btw my bf is coming." or he just happens to be there. it leaves no room for rejection. i'm not a huge fan of her bf but at the same time it's not really my problem. as long as they're happy that's all that matters. at our day and age, i suspect that he is more of a priority in her life which makes sense; because it's a relationship. they could possibly get married. although, i think this distance has shown the lack of reciprocation on her end. as a result, i haven't made much effort in this friendship. there's no bad blood, we're just not as close anymore.

the second friend is one that i've been in a whirlwind with. i've definitely changed as a person from high school compared to now. i think this has been more of a toxic friendship but maybe i was too blind to notice the red flags. or i've possibly changed to the point where i don't tolerate bullshit anymore.

Conversations have to revolve around her. Lately, i've noticed that we could be having a lovely conversation and somehow it always turns back to her or her love/work life. A lot of our conversations have been very repetitive simply because she turns it around to herself. It's just been annoying and she's been lacking substance, making conversations boring.

Peer pressure. This friend has very particular interests and she likes having a good adrenaline rush. She's into a lot of physical activities such as skiing, road trips, sports and going to the gym. When inviting friends for a hangout, a lot of times she asks to do these sorts of activities. Whether myself or our other friends are not interested, unavailable, or whatever.. she always finds a way to fight back. A lot of the time people are pressured to say yes. Or it just comes off as passive aggressive. Back in high school, I think I was more inclined to say yes to these activities. Now, I think that's changed. (Although I do like a fun physical activity here and there). Ultimately, I've noticed whenever we do these activities, she loves taking photos and filming videos for social media. To the point where the activity becomes revolved around that. I feel like that's why I haven't felt like doing these activities, because it feels like we're doing them to be influencers.

Your interests don't matter. Bridging off from the last topic, I could propose going to a restaurant, a food festival, or the beach. A lot of the time she shuts it down. Either says "been there, done that." Or it's boring. Then she goes back to suggest activities such as go karting or a stunt gym. Friendships deserve compromise on activities from both parties. Also, I could just send her a funny meme or something and she'll find a way to roast it. I love Harry Styles so I send her some edits just for funsies and I get hounded for it. Meanwhile she goes off and sends me F1 edits and expects me not to roast it? Girl.

Lack of effort. It has to go her way. She works a 9-5 and I do shift work, so you could see how our schedules don't always align. She's free on weekends, for me it's a hit or miss. I see her post things on social media indicating she's occasionally free on weeknights which tend to work better for me. She asks for a weekend (very last minute, I may add), I tell her I have work. I propose MULTIPLE weeknights or even an alternate weekend? She GHOSTS ME. Doesn't even try to suggest another day.

She's materialistic and finds a way to use people. This aspect kind of made me ghost her for good. With all the previous points I made, 1) I don't text her as much because I'm tired of always talking about her and her life. 2) I've been saying no to hanging out with her because I'm tired of doing activities that only she's interested in. Or just not even doing the activity at all because she's focused on perfect instagram shots. 3) I don't even send her jokes, videos or memes anymore because I know she doesn't care. 4) I stopped reciprocating or making effort to hang out with her because I know she'll shut it down or just leave me hanging out there because my schedule doesn't work for her. Lastly, she's always liked the idea of a rich, bougie life. She finds ways to use people for their resources and what they have. With all these previous aspects, clearly we've distanced ourselves. All of a sudden I get a random text, "hey how are you doing?" I reply, "good hbu?" She says, "i'm good, can i use your lulu discount?" And that sort of ended it for me. I let her use it but I don't think I've really heard from her since. So now I've given up on this friendship. I refuse to message her, I've muted her, I don't plan on ever texting her. Call me salty and petty and vengeful. But I've been through shit and been in a pretty low place (you can see my education and career self reflection entries) and I'm tired of people pleasing. I've been happier than ever in a long time and I'm thriving. So fuck fake friendships.

#self reflection #friendships

[mortallynervousgardener]

Monday

QOTD: What's your moment embarrassing moment during a time of intimacy?

Mine was today and I've never just wanted to throw myself from a building so bad in my entire life. It was just that bad, we're about to get down to business and we're just chatting because I talk to ease my mind about things, you know? I'm a little new to the sex scene after all... (definitely some details I'll be dishing out later on) and of all things to say, I make a comment about roast beef.

Yall?

WHY DID I NOT KNOW ROAST BEEF WAS AN INSULT?!?!

and now I feel terrible because I've accidentally called someone vag!n@ roast beef when I didn't even mean it like that, I just thought that's what you say when it's brown???? I have some regrets about my life, but what more can I do?!?!? I apologized and they went home, it's out of my hands now. But, on the other hand. Let's talk about men (a small disclaimer, I am a nonbinary pansexual who has never had sex with a guy, my first was literally the person I accidentally called roast beef and I can't stop thinking about it... I really want to crawl into a hole and try to will myself outta existence... Like Plankton when he was trying to think too hard)

Anyway, men. One of my best friends on campus (more info: I am a college student, and the actual drama that goes on is ridiculous. sometimes you can absolutely tell that everyone here just got out of high school because the way that they act is just WILD, but I digress) one of my best friends' boyfriend is being really shitty. I'll never understand why guys act like it's so hard to break up with a girl when they feel they need to instead of stringing her along and making her feel like there's hope for something when he's seemingly already made up his mind! Like come on, so for the past few months now my friend, we'll call her Serena (named after serena from gossip girl because I've been binging it lately teehee), her boyfriend has just been acting really off. I really wish i could go into detail about all of these things (how they met, what's going on, etc etc., it's important lore but all in good time I guess?) because, sometimes it baffles me how much my college life is actually like the movies???? Like I kid you not guys, it's wild. Ever been to a college Halloween house party? Ever seen one in the movies?

My first one was the previous Halloween and in true cliche freshman college student classic, I was a sexy angel and I got absolutely hammered. The person I was talking to at the time (same person, we're not dating and I'm fine with that. I can't handle the heat so I'll stay outta that kitchen), had to be called because there was some guy that kept following me around the party while I was literally on the brink of passing out, that's how drunk I kinda was. But, that's only one of the best things, shortly after I'd had to leave (my friends decided it was time to go because the party was dead and we were all drunk and bored, not me tho I was enamored by my "friend(we'll call them Pepe from now on, like the meme)" like I was happy to have them around. I'd invited my friends from another college to meet up with me at that party, but they didn't get there until I had to go. So, I'm on my way back to campus and a good 15 minutes into the ride, I go on snapchat just to see that the girl who shares the boarding house (idk what it's called, it belongs to the college I think and they live there) with the host of the Halloween party, her boyfriend is posted up trying to fight someone for flirting with his girlfriend!

There's always so much drama and so much shit going on, so I decided to maybe start blogging as an outlet? Does anyone still read those? Like honestly, I'd like to know. I've been binging gossip girl lately and that's something that made me want to get into it again. My other blog is a book review blog, but no one cares for that one right now.

I am however going to steal gossip girls' thing soooo

After all this you're probably wondering who i am and what in gods name im even talking about, but that's a topic for next time.

Until then, xoxo Myth <3

Alright, future Myth here and i just want to say, I'm literally in the middle of setting up my blog right? and i go to make food and I come back and check my phone to see a missed call from pepe so I call back and it goes to VM >:( I can't be mad because I get it, they're probably not going to come over for another month again but hot damn.

#daily blog #weekend #college life #college #tumblr diary #digital diary #idek #halloween party #2023 #campus life is crazy #campus #tiktok #funny #tumblr #aesthetic #instagram #love #fashion #photography #xoxo your fav it girl #xoxo #xoxo gossip girl #anyways slayyy #idk any other tags #bookblr #new adult

[gffa]

Robots for the reverse unpopular opinion meme!

I'm someone who has a very tough time getting over the idea that we're meant to care about robots in a story. They're programmed to do everything they do, no matter how sentient they look, they're still just 1s and 0s, and I almost never can get that out of my head. However, Star Wars has some sort of magical touch, because I do care about some of the droids there, mostly because they're hilarious asshole cats in robot form. R2-D2? Will come screaming into the room, rebound off the wall because he doesn't give a fuck about anything so pedestrian as "speed limits", spitting a stream of oil at the enemy, and will light the bastards up. And probably roasts marshmallows over the bonfire just after the starwipe cuts away from the scene. He definitely has given Anakin Skywalker a ride across a huge canyon more than just once. Is also willing to cut a bitch if they cross him--he knows Anakin is Darth Vader and still was ready to fly his X-Wing right up Darth Asshole's exhaust pipe and murder him right in the face, because of what he did, like, Artoo did not hesitate, bitch. Chopper? Gleefully shocks both his friends and other droids. Sometimes for a purpose, sometimes for no reason, just because it's funny! The only one he won't be an asshole cat to is Hera, who instead he will hold her hand when she's sad about someone dying, oh noooooo, even my ice cold heart towards robots was melted in that moment! Chopper, though, will knife fight you in a parking lot behind a Denny's and, make no mistake, he will beat you. He's done this a thousand times more than you'll ever have done it. BB-8? Can be an absolute angel at times, if you're sweet to him, he will be the sweetest boy back to you. But if you get on his badside, let's just be clear, that was not a thumbs up that he gave Finn, that was a, "You hurt her and I will light you up, motherfucker." BD-1? Best boy. BEST BOY!!!! He will ride around on your shoulder and hop down to go look at interesting things, then come skittering back to scramble back up your arm when you're ready to leave, all while chirping and beeping adorably, he is precious. But will also, without hesitation, go for the throat on an Imperial walker, that baby droid will stomp on the controls and destroy them into a still-sparking mess that crashes the walker to the fucking ground and will hop out of the burning wreckage with you, still brightly beeping and booping, because he's adorably asking if you can go do that again. Faithful companion and destroyer of Imperial fuckers. Best boy. Best boy. Anyway, Star Wars droids are amazing and Lucasfilm is asleep at the wheel because I would pay cash money for an animated series of all the asshole murder droids being in a series together and going on an adventure. None of these fussy or reasonable droids! No! Give us the ones who would stab each other in their sleep for fun, but actually get along and understand each other, the way two house fires merging into one understand each other.

#meta #i make myself laugh and that's all that's important #reverse unpopular opinion meme

[miedei]

my inbox is full of dust and i wanted to write something so:

enha cooking with their s/o.

heeseung

he's pretty good in the kitchen

which is good bc if it was just you with any sort of cooking prowess you would not be getting ANYWHERE

when he doesn't know how to do something he bugs you with questions until you teach him

so its

"y/n what's a bain marie?"

and

"how the fuck do you butterfly a chicken?"

for AGES

it may take a while but you end up with a pretty bomb meal after 😌

jay

power cooking couple 😡💪

the two of you are a well oiled machine

it's like you're doing a choreographed dance you move around each other and trade off items and tasks like it's nothing

the other members are shocked

the two of you are so clumsy and dramatic outside of the kitchen but in there?

there's some music or a well-loved show in the background as you work

occasionally tapping utensils against the others lips to ask them to taste

cutcutecute someone get me a jay

jake

he's not bad at cooking! and he loves helping you

give him a specific task to do and jake's on it

he'll happily follow your lead as the one with the slightly less marginal level of experience

oh but if you're making ramen?

buckle up you're not handling simple jake anymore

no now it's jacque™

he'll fucking roast you like kitchen wars lmao

"what are you?" "i'm not saying it."

"what are you?" "...an idiot sandwich"

"good." *peck* "NOW GO PUT IN THE SEASONING"

sunghoon

he's clueless but acts so experienced

"-and now we put in the... chili flakes?"

*points* "that's furikake. that's chili flakes"

"as i knew already! it was a test! a test you passed!"

is awesome at finding cool recipes to try

not so awesome at executing them

but he has you to help 😌

he may call you his sous-chef

but ratatouille taught you a think or two about manipulating chefs lmao

sunoo

v v helpful

is very comfortable with knives (am i sneaking my mafia!sunoo into this? maybe)

he can chop fast quick and even so you ask him to do all of that

the stove is a bit of a hurdle for both of you

the fire came on once and you screamed

and you read one (1) article about leaving the gas on and you pestered the others to get an induction cooktop

so they did and you're still a bit scared

but you have successfully cooked pancakes once!

jungwon

fucking awesome

delegates and helps you and asks for your help when he needs it

but sometimes he gets really frustrated at not being able to do something but he's not asking you to do it and he just

follows you around like a ghost 👻

with a lil pout until you ask him if he needs help

"...." "jungwon?" "...." "...do you need help?" "yes."

but he's awesome at plating!

he took one look at your plating (completely good plating but to artist jungwon? no no no honey this won't do)

is like one of those cartoons where you only see the person's backs and like a bunch of thing flying

but when he shows you its a literal piece of art

ni-ki

the two of you are menaces in the kitchen

one of you tries to calm down and get something done and the other cackles at a meme and you're both done

heeseung or jay need to be in there to get you started or nothing's ever happening

but you're surprisingly productive after a bit

once in a while one of you will try to distract the other with something else

"LOOK AT THIS PUPPY OMG" "no, we're getting distracted! ...alright dammit show me"

"should we make bungeoppang instead?" "gasp... maybe? no, no we are finishing this!"

you end up with a pretty great tasting set of okonomiyaki though so everyone's happy

#not me casually flexing my cooking skills 😌 #yeah i know how to make a birthday cake does that make me better than you? maybe #/j #enhypen #enha #enhypen fluff #enha fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen oneshots #enhypen fics #enhypen fanfics #enhypen fanfiction #enha fics #enha boyfriend au #lee heeseung #park jay #shim jake #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #nishimura ni-ki

[hacash]

For the headcanons: colin and isaac + day off!🥰 (any colin&isaac dynamic welcome, doesn't have to be shippy or anything i'm happy to see some Good Pals)

It's not that they're always spending their days off together. ('"'S not like we're married or anything, bruv," Isaac grumbles, to which Colin snips that Isaac would be bloody lucky to lock Colin down.) Isaac likes to watch fancy foreign films with subtitles and goes to some of London's cooler, borderline-hipster cafes to chill out; Colin likes to spend his downtime baking recipes his nana (the nice one, not the crazy Cardiff supporter) gave him or going to the London arcades, the big ones where you can play virtual Mario Kart or old school Space Invaders and Air Hockey. It's not like they have to be joined at the hip, you know.

Except.

They always come back into training the next day feeling a bit more relaxed if they have hung out together, you know? Isaac will hang out on Colin's sofa watching whatever's highly rated on Netflix while Colin bakes and argues that nothing will ever top Stranger Things for Netflix originals; Colin will let Isaac drag him around fancy coffee shops and swallow umpteen cups of coffee to 'improve his palate' if it makes Isaac happy. They both play a ridiculous amount of Mario Kart together. It's nice.

On a slightly more tender note, I headcanon that Isaac is one of the few Ted Lasso characters with a really solid family background - he grew up the sole boy with a family full of sisters, all of whom love him and tease him mercilessly, and his parents are ridiculously loving and close after thirty-five years of marriage. Every so often on a Sunday Isaac will go home to attend his parents' church and be fussed over by all these folks who know him as Bill and Masie McAdoo's boy, and afterwards they'll have a Sunday roast together. And every single time he'll drag Colin along with him, and Masie will tell Colin he needs to eat more, and Bill and Colin will bond over old records.

Isaac knows that it's not always easy for Colin to get home to Wales for one day off, and when he does there's some...tension surrounding Colin's family life. So he makes sure Colin always has a little bit of family waiting for him when he needs it.

Headcanon Meme!

#ted lasso #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #could be shippy could be not! #reader's choice

[toukatan]

beni my beloved, my darling, my bestie — happy birthday to the purest human being the planet earth has hosted in its entire existence. thank you for all the laughs, the good memories, and, especially, for letting us be ourselves in your blog. i've said it many times, but it's always nice to remind you that your blog is the safest space for many of us, and we're widely thankful for that. you always talk about how running this blog changed your life, but do you know how much you had helped us? i cannot talk for everyone here, but you personally helped me going through a lot of stuff, especially my depression and shit butiamnotplanningongoingemoonyousoshh— you're one of the best people i've been able to meet online; we share the chaos, the idiotic sense of humor; hell, we've even had our own "huh?" moment! i think that totally sealed our friendship. anyway, i'm doing it so long because i don't know how to correctly express myself, but trust me i'm trying. what i'm trying to say is thanks for coming into my life. you're such a ray of sunshine for all the communities you host here, never judgemental and always worrying about everyone's wellbeing. hope we can share a shit tone of more birthdays together, hope we can keep crying from a series that is so angsty it should be illegal, or maybe laugh-crying over a certain beta male who seems to be unable to grow an ass even after spending nineteen freaking years in this planet. love you so much, you have no fcking idea okay now lemme go melt in the corner bc just thinking about you makes me so soft—

i did not allow myself to reply to this until i had finished all my tasks at hand including work and now i at home where i’m able to let this all sink in all over again and i’m to process how i really am going to cry all over again. while you send me 273884 blank spoiler text ish on discord ffs what are we doing abdjhwjs

mía i literally am gonna pass the heck away and leave this planet all because of you and your whole ass essay here— holy freaking heck i do not deserve you and everything you are at all, what the fuck!

i know you’re gonna yell at me for being like this because it’s my birthday i have to thank you for everything you are. it’s my birthday i can do that. don’t stop me lemme do it please. you’ve told me before, how you’re thankful that this safe space exists and i can only repeat myself once again. this safe space was built like this all thanks to you and every single angel on here. i don’t think you guys give yourself enough credit for that. without y’all i wouldn’t have been able to create this space all on my own but i had you guys along the way, by my side along the way. i’m honoured and eternally grateful for that. so the one that should be thanking you is me. thank you for being my safe space. thank you for always being someone i could turn around to and be open and honest with who i am— i couldn’t be me grateful for such a supportive group of individuals. everyday i think about this. y’all really are my greatest blessing.

i’m so glad, so so glad that i was able to help just even one person and if that one person was you, you’re more than enough because you helped me in more ways than one and i’m thankful that we were there to guide each other throughout our journeys. no seriously, you don’t understand how much of a life saver you are to me and the way you’re able to crack me up from our tiny memes to our iconic ‘huh?’ moments to our deep conversations to yelling to being absolute crackheads. i’d do it all over again. hell when you think about it we’ve barely known each other for a year but i feel like i’ve known you for a life time!

we’re gonna share a shit ton of birthdays together. that’s a promise and i don’t back down on promises i keep to others. you can thank me all you want mía but i don’t think you understand how grateful i am for meeting you. thank you for crash landing into my life, roasting me or any characters we seek, for trusting me with series even though you know my taste is angst. for always being there for me when i needed it for never failing to make me laugh, for your kindness and just being simply you.

i adore you with my whole ass heart and i hope you know it. like i will literally shout it every single freaking day if i have to. you’re everything and more to me. you’re an amazing person and i’m so glad our paths crossed. thank you for being you. 🥺💗

#no excuse me while i go and pass away because i took a whole ass fking hour backtracking and adding and IM ALLOWED TO DO THAT YOU CANT DENY #MÍA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND SOFT AND GONNA PASS OUT #😭🥺💗 #MÍAAAAAAAAA #replies #nitatalks

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 4 "Haunted House" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

A girl died in this tub.

There's no record of any of these names except for one.

Oh, my god, there's two of them!

I own Halloween. It's my jam.

Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.

I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body.

A lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits.

They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.

I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents.

Oh, my god, it says my name!

I hope the severed leg brightens up your trailer park.

You're a bright light in my life, and I wanted you to know how much you impress me with your frumpy spirit.

You are so devastatingly mediocre and adorable!

I can't wait to see you in person, but before that, I'd like to see you post this all over social media, to exploit it for my own gain.

Aah! It's a rotting jack-o'-lantern!

Aah! This box is just filled with blood!

She got me a razor apple!

I stole this cadaver head from an ophthalmology student just for you.

You're the most important person in the world.

So you didn't see anyone in a red devil costume entering or leaving the house?

Are you coming to the precinct pig roast this year?

Come on, she's obviously the killer!

Do you mean to suggest I changed out of my nightgown, strapped myself into a skintight pleather red devil costume, climbed out a second-story dormer, and shimmied to the ground with a chain saw before entering a window I had left open, tried to kill you, then leapt out the window, climbed back up the wall, changed back into my nightgown,

and raced downstairs, all in the course of about 90 seconds?

Clearly that's got you a little freaked out.

I'm not gonna hold any of this against you, and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party.

Attempted murder!

A guy was almost killed tonight, okay?

Now, no, I'm not a detective, hell, I ain't even a cop, but what I am is somebody who watched every one of those Cosby mysteries, okay?

See? Dismemberment!

I am so sorry that I pushed you out of my car and drove off real scared.

I just can't believe that How To Lose A Guy In 10 days is your favorite movie, too.

In precisely two and half minutes when we go in there, you let me do all the talking.

What are you dressed as?

Oh, you have a squirrel. Don't see that much anymore.

Breakfast is almost ready, we got meat today.

What can you tell us about that night?

Now, we will keep your name out of it, of course.

'm a vault,

And to get in this vault you need a key. Now, you may ask, a key to what? It's a key to meaning. Once you've found the meaning, you don't need the words. You know what I'm saying?

Please, continue with your story.

Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"?

We need to dispose of this body on our own. Now, I've got everything we need in the kitchen to make sausages out of her.

I'm gonna go downstairs, shut this party down, and then we'll get the body out of here.

Somebody has to watch after the baby.

Can you at least turn on the radio?

Just leave the details to me.

We can't just act like this never happened.

She's the devil, that one.

I looked at that baby up close. I know my peas and carrots. That baby was a girl.

Your support doesn't matter.

My campaign needs a theme?

My pumpkin's drunk.

I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle cell anemia.

Why are you holding a fund-raiser, though?

I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made.

I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you lose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy your reputation.

You're a stuck-up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it.

It might behoove you to recall that everyone here witnessed you actually murder someone

Just sharpening knives.

Put the knives down.

I don't know what came over me.

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

It vaguely smacks of something my six-year-old sister would be excited about.

It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind.

You get it when you don't even understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene.

Just give the dang thing its pot of gold already!

I ain't got no candy!

Bet you're a sexy dirt-covered girl. That's what I bet you are.

Sometimes I come out here and I just rub my hands on the gravestones.

I get you more than anyone.

I also find the thought of dead bodies extremely arousing.

I just don't understand why I have all these dark feelings.

You know, I just think our generation's had it too easy, you know? We haven't seen enough horrible stuff. There's no awesome diseases randomly killing people. There's not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can't unsee. We, like, pulled out of all of 'em.

Sometimes I just don't even feel like I'm living, you know?

The only time I feel anything is when I'm thinking about chopping up a body.

And here you are, saddled up with an uptight girlfriend who freaked out for no other reason than the fact that you just wanted to fantasize about having sex with her lifeless corpse.

Oh, my god, I got a total chub right now.

Not scary enough.

She'll let you in the back door.

What could be scarier for an adult than a child coming to murder them?

Isn't that all of our greatest fear? That the pain, the regrets, the mistakes of our youth will destroy us in our adulthood? That we can't escape our inner child. One we would rather forget, but who, at the end of the day has all the power.

Why are you lying to me?

Something does not make sense.

You got to give me more here, okay?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

Are you on bath salts?

Why are we even here?

This house is haunted.

There's a legend in this neighborhood about a woman who wailed about her dead children. And this was the house she lived in.

These dumb ol' kids are smoking crack.

I think it's incredible what you can find out with just a quick trip down to your local library.

This can be one of the rooms for the haunted house.

What exactly do you plan on doing at this haunted house?

I was thinking we could blindfold folks and make 'em put their hands in a bowl full of grapes we peeled, so it'll feel like eyeballs.

I think the reason you want to have a haunted house party is 'cause a haunted party is like a buffet for murderers.

Yeah, yeah, you can just go around killing anybody you want and ain't nobody even gonna even notice.

Just like you chopped the arms off that dumb-ass golf guy.

Why do you have it out for me?

So now you look at me and see everything you could've been.

I hope you have a good time at you haunted party and get to murder lots of folks.

You have this way too thought out.

Isn't this kind of nice?

My sense of personal identity is completely external.

I really don't have much to offer.

I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone.

I need to eat. My blood sugar is crashing.

I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance.

I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry.

Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as "dude having awesome sex with you."

I mean, what in the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot?

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders.

So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot?

When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!

I'm not really sure how you got my number, but I like how you took the initiative and texted me where you wanted us to meet.

Do you think you're man enough to take me inside that house and attack my crack?

I'll sure this house has an amazingly romantic basement.

Hey, so, uh, a little awkward since we're about to bone down and everything, but, um, what's your name?

Smells like roadkill.

I've never been so scared in my whole life.

All right, if we go to the police, they're gonna see I'm still rocking a mad sidepipe, and they're gonna think I had something to do with it.

We have to warn people.

All right, everybody listen up! All of your lives are in danger!

There are dead bodies! Dead bodies. Real-life dead bodies.

Did you say dead bodies?

Those are like the most lifelike dead bodies I've ever seen.

Is that a real dead body?

There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.

You are not leaving this house tonight.

You make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer.

I found out something really interesting, and now I have a theory.

Everything is weird about that story.

I mean, it's too big a coincidence.

We have to figure out who that woman was.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

[the-official-account]

Character Analysis of Mike aka Agent Micheal Blanc

Aka OP said "fuck it i might was well post my meta". Aka I promise you the blanc roast is a separate document but this is a bit of that too.

Read below the cut. This contains MAJOR spoilers for pasithea episode up to the most recent: 15. Edited and Archived from discord.

So Michael Blanc.

I said I didn't know how to approach him, and I meant that. BUT the central question of that confusion was "Does he believe he's doing the right thing. is he hero of his own story." You'd assume yes, most people do, they are. I thought I'd have to just wait and find out, but looking at his Uquiz result (which I am FAIRLY sure but not CERTAIN is by hedeman-olguin) and I don't think that's the case. (If you want to see the uquiz rrsult drop a comment or something)

TL;DR "You like to make people squirm, you annoy yourself" Which is like, the key! When it comes to his treatment of Jane, we know the means we know the opportunity, this is the motive. So I'm going to go down the line of things I know he's done and try to build a fuller character profile from that. Note that I may get details off, I'm not caught up on my looking at the transcripts. if I refer to him as mike please read as mike(derogatory) and NOT mike(familiar) here we go.

wait where's that one image

[ID: a conspiracy theory meme]

To begin: Mike had a significant change in character just before the beginning of cannon. He went from a professional distance from jane to none of that. If we know there's a change, we can find it's cause, and know from that a character's reaction under a certain stress.

We can't be sure of the exact timeline just yet, but just around that time Mike would've learned about The Others and started taking steps along with Agent Cullens to start recreating the pasithea powder. We can imagine that this is what causes the shift from "Doctor" to "Janie".

There are several ways he could have reached this conclusion:

He wrongly assumed that Jane is more insecure than she is, and thought that getting romantically involved with her would allow him to more easilly manipulate Jane, who may well be the most resistant surviving conspirator and a big piece of the puzzle if the latest episodes are taken at their face value. He had to do something and he thought too highly of himself (which is NOT mutually exclusive from disliking oneself, trust me. I'm familiar with dudes in highschool)

Loyal to the queen and overcome with Bitterness, he's hates that he has to work with and protect Jane now, instead of forcing her around like a prisoner. He start to poke at her because getting a reaction satisfies that bitterness, until bit by bit the other things he relies on fall apart, and he holds onto getting reactions from Jane until it become obsessive.

and my least favorite option, personally. He was always like this but knew that the change at the start of cannon meant he'd harder to fire, and abused the priviledge in the same way that sophie does hers

If I know what motivates him I can take that away. I'll know what makes him cry :3

here's a quote from Mike in 1.3

I’m not sure which part you don’t regret. Betraying your government. Or making Pasithea Powder in the first place. Jesus. You should see the look on your face. Cheer up, Jane. It’s not a bad thing, to live without regret. It’s good to know you’d do it all again.

It supports theory two the mostly strongly. but my question is more along the lines of, what is he himself refusing to regret that he says something like that so offhand? Is it a specific event or events we're not yet privy to? His general way of being (suggesting a lack of self-reflection which would support his behavior growing more extreme in the later episodes)

Mike's stalking methods of guarding jane in 1.3 also most strongly support point two. It could be argued that the constant smile that permeates his description in the early days is him remaining loyal to his orders, that he's technically there to protect Jane as much as imprison her, and is pretending to love that responsibility. Or, it could be argued to support point one. he doesn't hit any usual romantic beats because he isn't trying to. He does not respect jane and therefore the power dynamic is not a barrier, but a tool. If Jane were a weaker person, the standards of kindness would be lowered. The smile might be unsettling at first, but should she resign to it, it could become a comfort. There are ongoing themes in the show of what people allow themselves to believe to support their preconcieved notions, but Mike wouldn't know that Jane is almost eintirely immune to that struggle. She has trouble betraying Isabel's ideas at the end, but can you blame her for taking time to consider that facts? She would not start to trust Blanc just because it would be emotionally convient.

Which we see best in episode five when his attempt at gaining her trust after the knife-dude goes tits up. Normal people would be more shocked after an event like that. Jane however was, throughout the early episodes, keenly aware of how much danger she's in. Mike even shot himself in the foot by presenting Jane with those death threats. In most people that would create fear and therefore uncertainty, in Jane it creates fear and therefore certainty by further confirming what she knows. SO when this happens

JANE

He--he was in my room, he was--he was in my closet, I don’t know for--how long--he was just waiting in there--!

BLANC

You’re all right. Come here. [He embraces her] You’re all right. Look, you’re barely even bleeding.

JANE

You saved me.

BLANC

Of course I did. That’s my job.

JANE

I’m--I’ve got blood on your--

BLANC It’s all right, Janie.

JANE Um, um, I need to-- [She picks the comms unit up] It’s okay, I’ll--I’ll call you later. [she hangs up.]

She has a moment of shock, because who wouldn't and then falls back to her priorities. she's calling Sophie. This creates some uncertainty because it presents evidence that maybe Blanc can be trusted, but he continues to proove the contrary and the comprimise she reaches is that he is as much a tool for Jane as he is a shackle.

I was talking about Mikey B where was i.

Cool, so in the court of my own personal opinion, I think Mike's central motivation is a mix between one and two. in the earlier episodes I doubt he was at all concerned with what Jane thinks of him. in the later episodes, which I'm less familiar with right now, that may or may not be the case.

to my knowledge, what's imporant is that Agent Blanc leaves jane with the other for the needed 24 hours but quickly reenters to kill it. Jane goes public about pasithea. The PSA arrests her and uses that to consider her no longer a casandran citizen and give her her own lab. Having lost his prey, Mike is demoted to trailing sophie and offer to meet up with jane when she comes to him with questions.

Sidenote: okay but on todays episode of "haha Jane Your so cool twirls hair moments"

I know you’re on Nemea, Blanc. And sloppy enough to get caught on a recording, even after everything we went through together.

Right. So The High And Mighty Mikey is reduced to, checks notes m, cursing at the icecream man like an absolute buffoon. Redirected anger, that checks out. he and jane are on near equal footing now. His leveraging Sophie's whole mess against Jane supports motivation 2 the best but could also present itself as Jealousy, supporting motivation one and the idea that he does care what jane thinks about him now. The insistence that she calls him michael does the same. but I'd really like to emphasize that there are several points in this conversation in which Jane very nearly gets the emotional upperhand-- and not on accident either

BLANC

Janie.

JANE

I wondered if you would pick up.

BLANC

For you? Always.

JANE

Don’t be disgusting.

BLANC

Janie, you called me.

she gets a straight awnser out of him here which, to me, feels significant:

JANE

Why are you on Nemea?

BLANC

Well, I was demoted, thanks to you

and this is certanly a point to team jane:

JANE

Tell me more about how you got fired.

BLANC

They didn’t fire me. They just...redirected me.

and the bitch line is important in and of itself "I always knew you had it in you to be someone’s bitch. Just a shame you weren’t ours." to support motivation one first and foremost. he was trying to -- excuse my language-- tame her.

I will conclude in three parts:

Firstly, removing Mike from his context, removing him from jane leaves him nothing more than the pathetic husk of a man who seeks power to sooth his insecurities. He finds that power in position and the discomfort of others, and is quick to throw a tantrum when he finds himself powerless. Give him someone to bully and he becomes more foreboding, but without that person he's nothing much.

Second, I think it's important that we acknowledge the parralels between sophie and Mike, if we aren't deluding ourselves. Don't get me wrong, i ADORE sophie green, but I'm so adamant about her acting shitty because I know she isn't a shitty person. She'll do better soon. My proof? Both Mike and Sophie allowed themselves to abuse the power of their position, potentially endangering others, until their priorites were screwed and they were no longer at their most effective, causing them to loose their jobs. They both, when faced with the others, saw a significant change in their day-to-day work respincibilities about ten months after ther war, and they both seek Jane's favor. the Big, most important difference is that jane believes in sophie where she doesn't believe in blanc. This parallel has got to diverge for blanc to serve his full purpose as a character foil, and I can't wait until it does.

Third and lastly, my diagnosis on how to make Blanc feel the most pain he may be capable of is to set up sitatuthation that follows cannon until about now, giving hims the beats

Gains power over another person

That power increases significantly and he starts to abuse it

That person gets the upper hand. he looses that power. (but then continue it with)

He think he gets another chance at redeeming himself and regaining that power, but it is false.

he is laughed at and/or beat up, publically if possible

that person (jane) refuses to feel strong about his situation in any direction. He cannot even consider himself a martyr.

:D<

Blanc is fun cause usually I ask myself what characters are like with the goal of fufilling them as much as possible, but he's the exact opposite. I might try to redeem him in whatever just to see what happens but yk. Mic drop.

#the pasithea powder #META??? IS IT META YOU WANT????? #edil drabbles on about T3P #i gotta finish this character study in doing before i oost my firsy t3p fic but to do that i need to finish my t3p notes and uuuuugh #anyways i hope you liked myrant about horrible man No.1 #i can probablt compile one of these for jane from the messages i've sent the discord tomorrow... #agent michael blanc